#feels good to actually participate in the entire ship week

[mortalityplays]

about a month back I was walking home from a union meeting with another member who lived in my direction. I automatically took my usual route, through a quiet industrial block dominated by construction and scrap yards and those single storage unit offices that are basically a metal box with a parking space. he hesitated to follow me, and then explained that he'd never taken this route before because he felt out of place and nervous there. he's from a middle class background, wears blazers and corduroy with lapel pin badges, you know the kind of look.

now this is not me criticising him, as far as I know him he's a good dude who shows up for the union and gets involved in direct action and generally puts his money where is mouth is. he's worked on outreach and gone door knocking in this same area and is very relaxed and pleasant in any company. in this sense he's a better leftist than a lot of people I've met who have the aesthetics and talking points down but turn shy when you ask how they actually participate.

anyway, he walked with me and we talked about it. he admitted he simply had no experience of this kind of industrial environment. he associated it with the rough working class pubs on the main street nearby, and inferred that it was dangerous to him as an outsider. I explained that it was a working environment, that each lot was somebody's business, and that the closed units he saw were offices used by traders who just needed somewhere to manage invoices, payroll and accounts a couple of times a week. nobody is going to beat up a complete stranger in broad daylight for walking past their place of work. as soon as he understood that, he relaxed.

thing is, the only reason I know this is because I grew up around these places. I worked out of an office unit just like those for a while in my teens, and walked to and from my job without ever being hassled in their vicinity. I went to school with the lads whose fathers and uncles owned the construction and scrap yards and shipping warehouses around us, and who went to work there as soon as they were old enough to wear a hard hat. the difference between a dangerous industrial space and a neutral part of the everyday environment is something I learned by living in it. the tradeoff is that I feel uncomfortable in middle class cul de sacs, because the danger zones there are invisible to me.

class is woven into our understanding of the world as children, blended seamlessly with our sense of objectivity before we have a chance to question it. as adults we have the capacity and context to unpack a lot of those assumptions and reinvent the borders around them — go door knocking for the union, build new relationships across class lines — but we can't ignore the fact that class is one of our primary cultural experiences. you will carry it with you like a half remembered motherland your entire life, like it or not.

[oldshrewsburyian]

Uhm actually could we please get you started on the gifts Wentworth brings Anne the first time he has to leave her behind?

I would, of course, be delighted really. You are joined in this request by @to-the-fishies, @darkhorse-javert, and @agardenandlibrary, so: by semi-popular demand, The Gifts Headcanon. But first, the context. I am convinced that Anne copes much better with enforced separation than Frederick does, actually. It's true that she says to Captain Harville: "We live at home, quiet, confined, and our feelings prey upon us." But she is less confined as Mrs. Wentworth than she was as Miss Anne Elliot. She has a household to manage; she can receive sympathy and advice from Mrs. Harville, and can visit Mrs. Smith and the Musgroves as she is inclined, and write newsy letters to Sophia Croft. Also, temporary separation from a beloved and adoring husband is not the same thing as being conscious of the dangers run by someone from whom you are, to your infinite chagrin, perpetually estranged. For Captain Wentworth, meanwhile, Anne cannot be pushed to the back of his mind, a person he can attempt, however vainly, to convince himself was cold and weak-minded and probably does not think of him at all. No, now he knows her to be entirely his, as he has always been hers (more tender, more tried, etc. Have I mentioned that I love them?)

Anyway! Captain Wentworth has learned to brook being happier than he deserves. Anne has never been happier. The crew of the ship, of course, are too well-disciplined to show open dismay at the lack of a writing desk in the equipment, the even more conspicuous lack of Mrs. Wentworth herself. But the perpetual glow of her happiness is, well, missed. And while she was, of course, too tactful to question the cook’s authority, it is also true that the gravy became less lumpy once she was firmly established on board. It is not long before permission to inquire after her is requested and granted, and the bosun is rather shortly informed that Mrs. Wentworth is perfectly well, if not in a condition to be on board ship. Thanks for the crew’s solicitude is added as an afterthought. The first mate has the good sense not to congratulate the captain, who does not appear to be a man in any mood for congratulation. Captain Wentworth is of course too skilled in his post to let his own preoccupations directly affect his professional discipline. But after a week or so, he becomes sensible of the fact that his tension is communicating itself to the crew. He stops (to the best of his ability) communicating it.

In many ways, the ship is fortunate on this voyage. They encounter no particularly bad weather, no particularly well-armed privateers. So it is with a general sense of satisfaction that they return to port. As is his custom, the captain oversees the quartermaster’s distribution of pay and papers, seeing the men off with a word of farewell, and praise where it has been earned. (It is, of course, one of the reasons they hold him in such high regard.) Usually, this ritual is gotten through as quickly as possible by all participants. But Captain Wentworth becomes aware, gradually, that not all of the crew is dispersing. Some of it is. But there is also a growing knot of men behind the bosun: the sort of obviously expectant grouping large enough to cause anxiety to captains less sure of their men.

The bosun requests, and is given, permission to speak. The captain’s eyebrows are slightly raised. “By your leave,” explains the bosun, “we have, er, a few things we hoped you’d be good enough to take to your lady wife.” There is a great nodding and shuffling at this, a surprising quantity of grinning.

“Oh,” says Captain Wentworth, and adds that he’s sure Mrs. Wentworth will be very pleased, and will take it very kindly of them. He is, after all, quite sure of this. That Anne will take things kindly is one of the things he is most sure of in the world. This assurance being given, the gifts are handed forward, pulled out of pockets and knotted kerchiefs, and delivered out of carefully cupped hands. There is an assortment of wooden animals: not only a dog and a horse and a cat, but a whale and even a mermaid. There is a little Noah’s Ark with its pairs of passengers, slightly lopsided but with an unusual attention to nautical detail (it has a gangplank that can be operated with twine.) There are two carved rattles. Finally, with a great nudging and beaming, a model of the ship itself is brought forward. On the poop deck is an unmistakable little figure in a rose-colored dress, seated at a writing desk.

In the ensuing silence, the ship’s captain clears his throat twice. Then he says: “Briggs, you have misled me. These are not a few things. This is a shop window, or a cabinet of curiosities.” This would-be brusque commendation is greeted with a collective sigh of relief and pleasure. The bosun suggests modestly that the captain might wish to think of it as a nursery; the crew is told that its captain hopes that they will soon have the opportunity to drink Mrs. Wentworth’s health, and given the means to do so. Reciprocal good wishes are reiterated, and then the crew actually does disperse.

Anne, prudent as ever, does not go down to the harbor. But she does go into the street when she knows her husband is expected, and gives him both her hands to kiss. She decides, after a few moments, that she will have to be the one to pay the porter, since Frederick appears very fully occupied in looking at her. She is expecting the man with the trunk, but not the boy carrying the crate stuffed with straw. “My dear,” says Anne, with good hopes of wringing sensible words out of the man she loves most in the world, “what on earth is that?”

Captain Wentworth casts a glance over his shoulder, and smiles, and begins to fish the requisite coins out of his pockets. “That,” he tells his wife, “is a token of the affection and esteem in which you are held by the crew. Now come inside so that I can decently give you a token of mine.”

#persuasion #i support the wentworths SO much #they love each other so much! #they love doing things for other people so much! #they!!! #i am living for the spite fueled persuasion revival on here

[resistanceisfeudal]

me in my feelings about trek fandom:

so, that star trek confessional blog that's been going around the last few days? and the mini discourse about possible rage-bait on it? and then the new rule that they won't post anything that feels like it's attacking a specific subgroup of fandom? That whole thing?

Cursed discourse. Rotted, rancid, stupid shit. And not even the top five worst discourses I've seen this week.

I actually kind of am mad at a lot of trek fandom and do have a lot of honest opinions that would read as an attack on people...

I guess the thing that has been rising to the top is this phenomenon where people who are clearly intelligent and thoughtful in terms of how they engage with stuff in general end up having bizarre blindspots when it comes to trek.

People who thoroughly acknowledge cultural biases and the ways in which opinons are shaped by bigotry when it comes to talking about how, say, Voyager was received at the time, will turn around and flatly deny the roles of racism, misogyny and transphobia in the reception of Discovery, insisting that "it's bad because grimdark" - which a) isn't even true and b) a cursory glance through the comments on a stream of a disco episode would prove that "grimdark" is not the thing that audiences are mad about. You might have a good faith criticism (which "grimdark" isn't because it's not accurate, but idk some other good faith criticism) but that's not why the show is less beloved than snw or picard s3.

Or people who constantly reblog posts about how episodic "filler episodes" are so great, and how they build the characters and make up the heart of the shows... and then talk about characters and their relationships in ways that only make sense if you cherry pick random disconnected moments from across seven years of television.

Or someone how can talk articulately about fandom culture, stanning, and conspiracy theories, and shows insight and cynicism into phenomena like those sherlock truthers... and then says that garashιr would have been canon if it weren't for ezri, or that it would've been canon if they'd got an eight season. Like, these are ridiculous opinions that basically rely on you not watching the actual show.

Ok technically the last two were just me bitching about a ship that's popular and therefore sometimes the fans can get obnoxious. I shouldn't complain about that... while we're here, I also find spιrk annoying at this point. This is silly, back to snw.

Fundamentally, a lot of snw's popularlity is the same as picard s3: it's nostalgia heavy and the leads are white men. Overall, taking the entire audience in mind, that is a significant part of what's going on.

Now, obviously, snw is a lot better than s3 of picard (which i will die mad about). It's not a bad show, but I do feel that s2 didn't really improve on s1 and perhaps felt weaker at times. I thought the musical episode was genuinely bad and struggle to even believe people when they say they liked it. To be clear: I love musicals, I love musical episodes, I hated this one.

It's shit like this, the insistance that it's amazing when, as a show, it's just fine, sometimes a little bad, mostly pretty good, occasionally very good - it's shit like this that makes people accuse fans of being inauthentic when they praise it. It's claims that snw is "saving nu trek", when no, no it hasn't. Discovery has been prematurely cancelled, Picard ended in disgrace, and Prodigy was cancelled, then rescued but its future past s2 is unclear. It didn't save anything.

It feels like the future of trek is going to be more naval gazing, more nostalgic pandering, more meta references and a distinct lack of new concepts... possibly even a lack of new characters at this rate.

I made this side blog to post about picard s2, because I genuinely had a lot of feelings and thoughts. I felt like, while there was some annoying shit and bad takes around, it was fun to participate and I was enjoying myself. For the last few months, really since snw s2 aired, I've been having a pretty bad time here. So much of it is petty shit that sounds bizarre to type out: small posts and variously tiny infuriating takes. This entire post is stupid and pointless, when I put it like that.

But, yeah, trek fandom has been making me pretty unhappy recently.

I'll still be here and will watch the new disco when it comes out, and hopefully feel something again. I want to be able to re-enter the headspace I was in back when S2 picard aired, and I felt free to just express my opinions without being hyper aware of everyone else's pre-conceived stuff. We all have loaded opinions and strange baggage with trek, it comes with the territory.

[courfee]

people’s takes on fic stuff fucking baffles me. i see people going on and on about word counts and complaining when updates “take too long” or refusing to read wips entirely bc they’re too impatient and i just… i cannot understand this shit.

i know that the majority of these people have had to write something for a class in school at some point. it took you weeks to write a five paragraph essay for a grade. most of the time, that’s less than 1k words.

there’s nanowrimo, where the usual goal is to write 50k words in one month. which is understood by participants as an incredibly challenging goal. it’s hard. most people who start don’t complete it in time. it takes a lot of dedicated time. it’s exhausting. and there are so many fics out there that are significantly longer than this - and you can read them for fucking free!!!

it breaks my brain how people don’t seem to understand how much effort and time it actually takes to write something.

it’s even wilder to me that people will just skip over fics entirely based off of how many hits or kudos they have. why even bother searching by ship or tags or what have you if you’re just going to discount 90%+ of your search based off of how many people read it before you. the more common place that becomes, the less amazing fics will end up getting read in the first place. it takes hits to make hits.

all of this is just so wild to me i cannot wrap my brain around it. and i hate going into fic writing for this fandom knowing damn well that i’m in a fandom where people who might genuinely enjoy something i spent hours of my time on will never even consider glancing at it because i’m not “popular” enough. i don’t publish fics for clout and approval, but there’s a reason why i share them in the first place. i’ve written plenty of fics just for myself, or for a few friends to read. but if i take the time to publish and post something, it’s because i want to share it! i put it out there hoping that other people might enjoy it like i do. because sharing that feels good. and it sucks to think that there are people who might have shared in that enjoyment with me, who will never see it because we’ve started putting this weird standard on shit.

i don’t know about other writers, but that’s exactly what i’m talking about when i say that fandom dynamics as of late are sucking the joy out of creating. i write because it brings me joy. i publish/post/share because seeing something i wrote bring someone else joy, brings me even more joy. and watching this whole shitstorm of people being shit to fic writers or completely discounting most fics for one reason or other, just cuts that down so much for me.

idk i have a lot of thoughts and feeling about this but at the end of the day it frustrating and, at times, a bit heartbreaking.

honestly you said it all. all of this.

one thing i wanna add is in regards to nanowrimo: 50k words in a month (1667 words a day btw) is incredibly hard and a lot of people don't manage it, but a common factor i've witnessed between those that have done it is that they went into it having fully planned out their stories. because writing isn't only putting down words on paper, you have to figure out what to write, if you want a great plot you usually have to plan for that, and even once you've written it all you still have to go over everything and edit it. there is even more time and effort that goes into writing that people don't see and just take for granted. it's absolutely a labor of love, and the labor part is strongly emphasised here, and still we offer it for free only for people to be bitchy about it

i just hope you keep the joy of it all, because the entire point of fandom should be that it's done for fun and with the purpose of bringing you fun...

sending you all the love there, at least we are enough people in this fandom who write and draw and cosplay and make edits and all the other things there are for creation that we can support each other through it all

#asks #gotta be honest i didnt even know you could send asks this long i thought there was a character limit of like tweet length... #giving you a hug rn #keep on writing #itll get better again eventually #it has to cause the only other alternative is that the fandom disappears completely

[maybeimamuppet]

2, 5, 9, 11, 16 for the fic asks?

hello darling friend tysm for the ask!!

2, will you participate in any fandom exchanges or fic challenges, etc?

if i’m asked to absolutely!! i think they seem so fun but being in smaller fandoms i think they’re a lot harder to figure out. i’ve actually considered forming a few of my own for like halloween or the holidays and stuff but i’m kind of the only cadnis writer still somewhat consistently active and everyone else who writes for mean girls is into very different things (which is great we love to see it but it makes group stuff hard lol) and matilda i haven’t checked up on in so long i have no idea what’s going on in that little corner anymore whoops

5, which wip is first on your list to complete this year? will you post a snippet?

we are continuing my beloved series of ‘someone has to write all the cliche fics for this ship and by golly it might as well be me”! from the looks of things the first one to be finished will be a college au (professor/student) that i’m honestly really proud of. i’ve been hammering away at it for a while lol. but we also have a few more like that and obviously plenty more that aren’t that i’m not gonna spoil just yet but i’m very excited for them :)))

“As long as I’m your professor, this can’t happen, no matter how badly I want it to,” Cady says with a sniffle. She gently presses a kiss to the corner of Janis’ lips before she pulls away and takes a couple steps back. “I’m so sorry, Janis.”

Janis watches her go for a minute, barely feeling the frigid rain slamming against her face. Cady hunches in on herself and clicks off. “What about when you’re not my professor anymore?!”

Cady freezes and turns to look at her. “What?”

“Once I graduate,” Janis begs. “Can we be together then?”

“…Technically, yes, we could,” Cady says. “But-”

“Wait for me,” Janis says. “Please.”

Cady bites her lip, but she nods after a second. “Okay.”

“You will?” Janis asks, finally feeling hopeful enough to smile for the first time in what feels like years.

“I’ll wait,” Cady agrees. “If you’re willing to do the same. Come to me once you graduate, and… we’ll see what happens. Okay?”

“Okay,” Janis says, smiling around a sob. Cady does the same before she continues walking away.

unproofread snippet brought to you by maybeimamuppet :)

9, short term goals… what do you hope to complete this week or in january?

i’m really hoping to have that and the next chapter of pt done by the end of the month!! my third writing birthday is at the beginning of march and i’m really hoping to have a batch of fics ready to crank out by then :)) matilda is kind of wonky for the time being bc i have very few wips and i need time to sort through which requests i can actually do/want to do so they might be a while but focusing on my meanies for a while will be a nice change i think!

11, would you like to try any new fanfic genres or tropes this year?

i don’t think i do!! at least not in fics lol i’m good with my romance and family fluff sorta genres i’m in but i am trying to write a few publishable like real actual books that are a little different so we’ll see how that goes!

16, do you have one fanfic that you wrote a ton for, ages ago, but never posted? will this be the year come hell or high water that it WILL get finished and posted?

UHHHH honestly most of my wips are kinda like that lol. i hyper focus on one and then get bored with it and move on to a new one and herein lies the cycle of Big Issues. so i have a lot of like half-done oneshots (including requests i literally got in 2021 and am sobbing trying to get done i feel so bad). i do have an entire folder of ‘unpublishable fics’ that will never see the light of day. they’re mostly just writing exercises but some of them are just really embarrassing so most of them stay there lol. and i have a multi-chapter The Good Place au i started years ago and couldn’t figure out other than the title but i only wrote a couple scenes for it but that probably also won’t ever see the light of day. ce la vie ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#thank you friend!!! #entropy with ezzy #ezzy gets an ask

[witchthewriter]

Hey I saw your requests are open and that you might be open to doing Ships. Could I please get a ship for Lord of the Rings and maybe Stranger Things if it's not too much trouble (except I only really like Eddie but it feels weird to ask for a ship specifically with him, so I'm going to leave that up to you ;-;)

I'm bisexual - my entire sexuality and gender identity both boil down to "eh, why not?" if that makes sense. I'm also on the Autism spectrum and have ADHD. I can get really nervous pretty easily but I'm a really fun person when I'm comfortable. Just play D&D with me and I'll start breaking out the dirty jokes. I have wild Eddie Munson hair, wear glasses, am pretty slender and actually pretty androgynous looking. I'm pursuing becoming a writer for TV and cartoons but I just applied to work at a d&d shop in the meantime (very on brand). I love making jokes and puns, and I'm really good at comforting people and giving advice too. I've been told I'm "wise beyond my years" but I have no self preservation whatsoever. High wisdom low intelligence. My ideal partner is basically just an absolute best friend I can also kiss. I'm pretty hyperactive and most of my speech is infodumping but need to take naps a lot haha. I'm helpful, creative, enthusiastic, open, sarcastic and stubborn. I love helping my friends more than anything.

Thank you so so much, I hope you have a great week!! Take care of yourself and drink lots of water okay? Keep being awesome 😎

Want one? Here be the rules 🦋

Hi lovely! Thank you so much for participating, your blog is amazing. I hope we can be friends and mutuals!🍄I actually do need to drink more water, I won't lie... I have a 2 litre bottle next to my desk so I'm getting better at it. And thank you for saying that, YOU take care, you're so lovely xx

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒐𝒏: ⋆ Creative/Imaginative ⋆ Good-hearted ⋆ Kind ⋆ Friendly ⋆ Bold

𝐋𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Eowyn! Oh god I can just imagine the absolute POWER you two would have together. She would defend you in ALL things and love you with her whole being.

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・Touching foreheads before anything dangerous - eyes closed, just taking in each other.

・She loves your stories, your ideas - your very mind. She's absolutely taken with how you think about things. Your creativity makes her life more interesting and she loves you for it

・Helping her dress in the morning and moving her hair to get to the clasps at the back. Like that is such an intimate moment

・She would LOVE buying you books, and has probably traded important things for them

・She cannot stop smiling when around you

・She would happily stay home with you, or if you wanted - she would go out. She just wants to be wherever you are!

・Relationship Tropes:

✧ Mutual Pining From Afar

✧ A Flustered Blushing Mess x Even More of a Flustered Blushing Mess

✧ Badass Battle Couple

𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Eddie Munson - and NO NOT JUST BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU LIKED HIM MOST. I honestly think you two would be such an awesome couple. Like absolute best friends; you're two peas in a pod. He would absolutely love you; your personality (especially the high wisdom, low intelligence... you two are pure chaos)

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・He would absolutely LOVE talking DnD stuff with you - bouncing ideas off of you but ultimately not letting you see what he's coming up with. Because you most DEFINITELY come to Hellfire.

・Him teaching you how to play guitar, and you teaching him about writing and basically everything you know. Like can you imagine creating a story with Eddie?? It would be so much FUN

・Coming up with your own lingo and phrases together. And randomly saying them in public, "HUZZAH!"

・Nerding out over Lord of the Rings! He would LOVE that you loved the series. That there's someone else that he could talk to about it. You guys are just gushing over each other the first time you find out the other likes the series.

・SO MUCH HAND HOLDING

・ He would def randomly lick you and bite you (and it's not even in a sexual way)

・Making funny faces at each other

・Trying to make the other laugh in a serious moment

・Loving his loud personality - he would make you feel so safe

・ Relationship Tropes:

✧ Elusive Chaotic Duo

✧ Dumb + Dumber (I don't mean this as an insult - you guys just have such similar outlooks that you get caught up in each other's ideas)

✧ Just Two Nerds Nerding Out About Nerd Stuff

#ships #ship game #match ups #let me ship you

[delvalentine]

hahahahaha, are you suspecting you're HORNY (for the fanfic writing meme). i do agree that you sound like a sweetheart!

speaking of self-ships... do you have any self-ships?

i also respect nurses a lot! plenty of my friends are working as a nurse or in healthcare and their schedules are insane. knowing that there are cases that can also last for your entire shift... 😱 sounds like a really serious case. what inspired you to be a RN First Assist?

all the best for balancing work and other interests!! it's also something i have trouble doing as well. i'm hoping to fix my screen time and habit to mindless scroll so i can fix my sleep schedule.

i'm somewhat of a graphic designer! my role has changed though. i used to be designing websites but i've shifted to making game assets instead, so i'm actually doing a bit of animation right now. i--i have no idea how to animate so most of my working hours is spent watching youtube tutorials online HAHAH. it's an experience, and i'm very grateful for it regardless.

thank you for ur well wishes uwu you are right that adulthood is truly so, so, so different from being a teenager. writing fanfic is one of the constants in my life, LOL. it's also really funny how you have to request a day off for your graduation 😝 i hope you enjoy your graduation regardless! and congrats to graduating!!!

-- pasta la vista, milk

(trying out gen z email culture because i see it around the internet and it's so funny)

With full disclosure I never noticed this sitting in my inbox even tho it has been since.. April 💀 then I was thinking of making a self-ship post but cringed at myself... looked through my inbox... and then saw that Milk had asked me about self-ships months ago ?! Crazy.

But, for work stuff, I figure actually participating in the operation would be neat as an RNFA. Though I don't know if my suturing would be quite up to par (shaky hands) LOL. It rained on my graduation as it did on my high school graduation so I suppose that was consistent 🥲 I'd actually prefer to take evening/night/weekend shifts because there's overtime and I hate mornings... but of course this is one of few nursing fields that operates mostly on a day schedule 🥲🥲🥲 I'm soooo mf sick of my 6AM alarm !!! But I did go on a week long trip to Japan this early June (again bcs I had gone Jan 2023 lol) and brought back lots of merch, so though my wallet may be sore, my heart is full... of weeb shit. 😌

That's so cool to be able to say !! I really enjoyed graphic design so hopefully it's still fun as a career. Def feel you on doom scrolling... I even have the Instagram time limits but just don't listen to them which defeats the purpose 💀💀💀 oopies

As for my self ships *cracks knuckles* I branded myself as a Wakatoshi Ushijima stan all throughout 2016 and beyond and I stand by it. He's beefy, stupid, and I have a thing for any character with such an abundance of talent that they instantly become an antagonist. I don't think we'd be compatible, but is he ever a joy to look at... I'm also still hopelessly in love with Haiji Kiyose from RWTW because he has the perfect complementary personality for me; he'd be such a good househusband (men that cook >), motivate my grumpy ass with undying optimism, and put up with my moody tsundere archetype 🤩 . Ignis Scientia also comes to mind as a personality match—he cooks, is sarcastic, and wears glasses? Bonus English accent. That checked off my boxes at once & I literally had stomach pain when certain events happened to him in FFXV because I was THAT emotionally attached. My Japan trip re-ignited a lost love in Sakyo Furuichi; even though I don't follow A3 anymore, I just KNOW I deserve to be isekai-d as a hot yakuza wife .. that trope is MADE for me 😤! I'm still deeply in love with Yuuta Okkotsu but have stalled on the JJK manga bcs of deeply unfortunate and traumatizing canon events 🥴 and currently I am on my knees for Rin Itoshi (even after I saw how straight up uggo he looks in the U-20 arc so I must really be delulu) and Yoichi Isagi; I tried (and failed) to pick between them just like a 2010s dystopian female MC. I just know I’d fight with Rin every single day because we’re too similar (and so the hate sex 🤌🏼) In Genshin I fell for Diluc right away; that personality type is just so scrumptious... tldr anybody that's a candidate for hurt/comfort means I am INTERESTED!

Basically 90% of the time I put a reader insert fic out, I'm living my own Y/N fantasy. If I'm not attracted to them and I'm not writing it as a gift for somebody, I feel 0 inclination to write for that character 😂

Anyways, I really am so sorry for the late reply; I was always wondering why I hadn't heard from you anymore but it turns out I was the reason 💀 what's new in life!? What fics are you working on?

Wishing you well and lots of love!!  @themlky

#chye chats

[just-absolutely-super]

Listen To Your Heartbeat So I Know You're Alive

@soulxmakaweek

I DID IT! I FINISHED SOMA WEEK!

Bonus Day Heartbeat! Enjoy and thanks so much for the support, whether it was here, AO3, or FF.net

Summary: She couldn't exactly explain it, but the steady rhythm comforted her in a way nothing else could. It made her sigh in contentment because he was there. Alive and well…with her.

Warning: There are shades of PTSD and mentions of anxiety/panic attacks. If these themes discomfort you in any way please don’t feel obligated to read this.

FF.net // AO3

It all started after that fateful battle with Crona in Italy.

The trauma was enough to give her nightmares for weeks. She would relive that same moment over and over again. Only the outcome would be different. Instead of Professor Stein and her father coming to their rescue, Maka found herself sitting there with Soul’s lifeless body in her lap. Her hand would be placed over his bleeding chest as she’s forced to feel his pulse fade under it.

Ba-bump………ba-bump……………….ba-bump………………………………….ba-bump…

…………………………………..

It’s enough to wake her in the middle of the night, screaming until her throat was raw and her lungs burned. During those first few days, no one was there to comfort her. Blair often came home well into the night from working at Chupra Cabra to find the young girl sobbing hysterically on her bedroom floor.

“Soul’s gone!” she would cry into the magical cat’s chest, “He’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone!”

“Shhh.” Blair would soothe, running her manicured fingers through her ash blonde locks, “He’s fine, Maka. Soul’s fine. He’s in the infirmary at the school, remember?”

It took a long time, but she would remember. And experiencing his death was only a dream.

Despite the reality that her partner was well and alive, the reminder that his heart could stop one day gave her so much panic. There were days this realization would give her an anxiety attack and she’ll begin hyperventilating.

She couldn’t let his heart stop. He was her weapon—her best friend! She had to protect him! Protect his heart!

So she vowed to be stronger for him. Soul rolled his eyes at her and told her she was doing everything backwards—why would you protect the thing that was meant to protect you—but she knew he didn’t understand. He just didn’t get it. But that was okay. Maka would admit she felt somewhat embarrassed with her reasoning why she was so determined to get stronger as a meister.

Her fascination with his beating heart sometimes led to awkward situations. Well, awkward for Soul at least.

There was the moment after Maka declared her resolve to get stronger where she placed her hand on his chest. She would reveal to him later on that she was vowing to face his scar, but truthfully she also wanted to feel his thrumming pulse under her hand.

Then there were those occasional moments, during the quiet of the evening, when Maka and Soul would be sitting on the couch and somehow Maka’s head found its way onto Soul’s shoulder. It was a sweet, tender kind of moment that Maka relished in, especially when she realized she could hear Soul’s heart if she tilted her head just right…

And then there were those times with the nightmares. It didn’t matter who they happened to, once the night terror was over, either Soul or Maka would find themselves in their counterpart’s bed. It wasn’t very “cool” as Soul put it, but neither cared because in their moments of vulnerability, they needed the reassurance that their partner was still alive. Maka especially, as she could hear her scythe’s heart loud and clear in the silence of the night.

Ba-bump…ba-bump…ba-bump…

She couldn’t exactly explain it, but the steady rhythm comforted her in a way nothing else could. It made her sigh in contentment because he was there. Alive and well…with her.

Eventually Soul caught onto what exactly it was about his chest that she was fascinated with, and learned to roll with it when the urge to be close to him took her over. She was thankful he never teased her in these moments. He understood her perfectly.

And he never complained either. Especially not after particularly rough battles.

They were gathering their 72nd soul for the second time around (damn Blair…). It wasn’t a particularly difficult kishin egg—pretty much your typical serial killer type. What Maka and Soul didn’t know, however, was that this evil being had a special talent with pyrotechnics���specifically bombs.

In a last ditch effort to thwart the meister-weapon duo, the pre-kishin threw off his trench coat to reveal an abundance of explosives strapped to his chest. If he was going down he was going to take the DWMA students with him!

Maka yelped as she struggled to scramble away. She managed to get some distance between herself and the evil soul but the amount of bombs he let off would produce such a large explosion there was no way she’d get off scot-free.

Soul knew this, so against Maka’s wishes he transformed into his human form and draped himself over his meister—willing a blade to form from his back in hopes that the metal would shield them from the brunt of the explosion.

Maka screeched as the bombs went off, feeling the ground scrape into her body as the force knocked her back many feet. She’s not sure, but she thought she had blacked out at some point. When she felt the ringing in her ears subside, she groaned and eased her eyes open. After gaining her bearings, she managed to lift herself up.

Examining her body, she saw that her clothes were dirty and tattered. Her gloves were stained red with her blood. She moved her extremities to make sure nothing was broken before prodding her head. She winced at some tenderness, hoping she didn’t have a concussion.

Next, she viewed her surroundings. The ground of the clearing they were in was scorched black; debris of different shapes and sizes surrounding her. Off in the distance she spotted the red floating soul of the pre-kishin, ready to be eaten by Soul.

Soul!

Maka frantically looked around. Didn’t he shield her? Why wasn’t he around? Where was Soul?!

Finally she spotted him a few feet to the left of her. The force of the explosion must have separated him from her. Her heart dropped into her stomach when she saw that his body was prone and it didn’t look like there was any sign of movement from him…

Was he even breathing?!

“Soul!” Maka cried, ignoring her aches and pains in favor of jumping up and sprinting to her fallen partner.

Upon reaching him, she fell to her knees—ignoring the sting from landing onto the hard ground—and turned him over onto his back. Her wide, green eyes looked his figure over.

Like her, he had multiple scrapes and cuts marring his skin, his clothes practically in shambles thanks to the fact he took the brunt of the explosion. There was a flat piece of rock lodged into his left thigh. Maka had a feeling he’ll need stitches for the wound. His face was blank though, his eyes closed and his skin looking a lot paler than Maka remembered.

Maka felt her breathing quicken, “No, no, no, no. Please be okay. Please be okay,” she pleaded as she grasped his shoulders, shaking them.

Bile rose to her throat but she bit it back. She couldn’t lose focus now, she had to help him somehow…

But he wasn’t moving, why wasn’t he moving?!

Panic clouded her brain. In hindsight, soul perception could have been used to indicate whether he was still alive or not, but the intense fear she felt overwhelmed any logic she may have had.

She couldn’t think…she couldn’t focus. All she wanted was for Soul to wake up and smile at her and tell her she was reckless and stubborn and a nerd and…and…

Unable to hold back anymore, a strangled sob tore through Maka’s throat as she fell onto her partner’s chest. She wailed—pleading, bargaining, begging for him to wake up.

“Don’t leave me! Please don’t leave me!” were her desperate cries. She didn’t know what she’d do if he actually left her. She was faced with that possibility almost a year ago, but since then they’d been fine. They had gotten stronger together. But now here they were, Maka reduced to that of a crying little girl while her best friend lay motionless underneath her.

What good was she?

Was her resolve all that time ago pointless?

She was an awful meister. A better meister wouldn’t have allowed this to happen. Soul deserved so much better than her!

She was so caught up in her despondent thoughts, she barely registered that there was a weight on the back of her head.

“’M okay…” came a hoarse voice before a ragged cough was choked out. “Not going…anywhere. J-Just listen, alright?”

Maka stiffened. She didn’t dare look up, afraid that her misery was producing a hallucination. When she registered his request for her to listen, she stopped everything, including breathing, as she strained her ears.

…ba-bump…ba-bump…ba-bump…

A fresh wave of tears welled in her eyes as she sobbed into her partner’s chest. He was alive. He was alive!

“Thank God… Thank God!”

She’s not sure how long they lay there—her crying until she couldn’t anymore while he silently stroked her head—but eventually Sid and Nygus came to retrieve them and took them to the dispensary at the DWMA. There, they shared a room, Soul insisting their beds be moved together so they could easily reach each other if need be.

She knew he only suggested that because she was too embarrassed to voice it. She was thankful though, because it was a good excuse to lie close to him and listen to his heartbeat while they both recovered.

“It’s the same for me.” He told her later, after Nygus left them for the evening.

“Huh?” she asked, on the verge of sleep.

“I like to listen to your heart too.” He confessed. “Reassures me you’re still there. That I did my job and protected you.”

Despite her eyes watering for the umpteenth time that day, she gave a small smile.

“Let’s keep protecting each other’s heartbeats, okay?”

He held her closer, his face burying into her hair.

“Deal.”

#soma #soul x maka #soulxmakaweek #somaweek2020 #somaweek #soul eater evans #maka albarn #soul eater #my writing #feels good to actually participate in the entire ship week #haven't done that since nalu week 2013

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: Vlive Asks and comment/chat discussions

From @cottoncandykings​: Hello! As u probably know jimin just went live recently and again he mentioned mandaggo and discussing about doing it with tae. I just find it so weird though. I mean jimin keeps constantly mentioning it and its not like vminnies were begging or dying for a vmin live everyday even before jimin mentioned it last year. Even now most including myself dont really care that much ofc i m happy if they do one together. But the way jimin keeps mentioning it is so weird. Like surely if he wanted to do it so badly he could have talked to tae privately and arranged it by now. And if tae is the one that doesnt want to do it then idk why jimin is pushing it. But what was really weird to me this time was that he said there were lots of comments about mandaggo yesterday in zoom call and yet they didnt mention it yesterday but suddenly today without prompting he talks about it. I also hope no one spammed the zoom call chat or the vlive chat with requests for vmin live (i didnt see any) bcoz thats just unnecessary and demanding. I hope vminnies wont demand/ ask for another memeber when one of them is live. Its just disrespectful. This turned into a rant sorry. Do you think it was weird too?

Since Admin 2 can’t type their thoughts themselves, I’ll relay their thoughts to you instead, since they had more thoughts/opinions/ideas in regard to this than I do, to be honest.

Admin 2 is sure that there is a good chance that we will get a vmin vlive sometime soon, which I know contradicts their original opinion and post from a few months ago, but there’s a reason for it. During the zoom meeting between BTS and ARMY they noticed something I don’t think anyone else noticed, or at least neither of us has seen any vminnies mention it anywhere, which in conjunction with Jimin’s vlive today and saying how he’d talk to Tae about doing a mandaggo vlive again, as well as another observation a little while ago, leads them to this conclusion.

So, the observation from the zoom meeting. Basically at one point when the question of Jimin doing a vlive arose Tae looks at Jimin and then he nods while smiling which in turn makes Jimin smile as he turns away from Tae and back to face toward the camera before answering the question and saying how he’ll come visit us the next day. Which he did.

Then the other observation from a while ago, this one being from their OT7 vlive celebrating their BBH100 #1 on June 29th where at one point Jimin says something but slips into satoori after which Tae encourages him to say that again but this time in the Seoul accent, so the way they actually should speak, which Jimin says isn’t difficult but he doesn’t actually end up repeating what he said.

And lastly in today’s vlive Jimin mentioned how he’s using satoori quite often but that he isn’t all that good at doing it on command or at teaching it to others, which is something he’d have to do for mandaggo but I’m sure he’d manage just fine if the time came for it.

Based on that Admin 2′s thoughts are basically that Jimin really meant it when he said, last year, that he’ll bring Tae around for a vlive, that it wasn’t a joke or a way to tease us with something he knew he wouldn’t be able to deliver, but rather that up until this point they weren’t quite sure how to do it. Which sounds a bit odd, I know, but what they mean is that if vmin were to just sit down in front of the camera and were supposed to just talk based on what the chat would give them, it would likely just turn out awkward and weird and no one, including them, would really have fun. Even more so when we take into account how idiotic the chat is during regular vlives so now imagine if those two were to do one together that’s just a casual chat. It would likely end up in disaster and honestly I wouldn’t wish it upon them to read all those awful comments that they would likely get, even worse ones than they already get normally, to be honest.

But now that the whole satoori thing was brought up, and Jimin actually mentioned mandaggo and wanting to bring it back after so many years, Admin 2 thinks that they must’ve finally figured out a solution to their problem, if you can call it that. Doing mandaggo would basically mean they would have an activity, something to do similar to how they did those ASMR videos for the Japanese Fan Club which were fun and cute, and so Admin 2 thinks that perhaps chances are we will finally get the vlive we’ve waited for so long (though like many others I’ve long given up the idea).

Another confirmation is that during his vlive today Jimin basically said that he only came by for a little while since they are quite busy and had to soon get ready for work with the other members but that he’ll return in two or three weeks for a more proper, longer, vlive. So, he could’ve treated today’s vlive as the promised one but instead he saw it more as a bridging one between the zoom meeting and the proper vlive he wants to do, so is it the farfetched to think that he had proper plans for a vlive, like doing mandaggo, but it just wouldn’t have worked out time wise today so he moved the actual vlive he wanted to make to a later date?

One last thing (well two actually) that has nothing to do with this question but Admin 2 wanted me to include it anyway is that one, have you noticed how Tae and Jimin were both on weverse around 3 am (until almost 4am (also both of them posting a comment to some post at 03:41 am KST)) one after the other (though with one day of a break in between them) recently and then also two, that Jimin was up until like 6 am (since he posted on weverse around that time) on the 8th and then during the zoom meeting Tae answered a question by saying that he’d been awake until 6 am the previous day (also the 8th) since he wanted to see the sunrise? Which is also something an anon mentioned to us. Curious, isn’t it?

From anon: I request both admins to please post this ask. So jimin wwnt live today and one of the accounts on twt posted a screen cap of them commenting 'touch your hair if vmin is real' in the live chat and jimin's reaction to it. Now idk if it is an edit or real. No matter i just want to say its not ok to bring up ships in front of the members no matter which ship it is. We dont know the reality of their relationship so lets not make them uncomfortable. Its not a joke. Its not funny. Be respectful the members are real people.

(Admin 1 taking over from this point onward) This ask nicely ties into the last one that’ll be further down in this post since they cover a similar issue of sorts. But let’s start with this one asking about, essentially, vlive comments and the things fans ask/comment, which also ties in with the above ask as well.

The thing with the vlive chat, and especially comments/questions that are like anon said, questions or “commands/requests” about touch your hair if XYZ ship is real or cough twice if you love XYZ member or, likewise, comments such as where is XYZ member or what are the other members doing, unfortunately those have been a steady and unchanging part of the vlive chat since basically forever. It’s been an issue on and off with different intensities though I feel like it’s gotten worse again this year. Particularly if we look back at the vlive Tae did with Hobi and Yoongi and how essentially the entire chat was filled with comments related to Xkook and not much else.

If my memory doesn’t fail me we once even had a situation some years ago (2016) where the chat during Hobi’s vlive was so bad, as in so full of questions about that other members instead of him, that you could see he was upset about it and eventually he handed over the vlive to Jimin, whom the chat had requested Hobi to visit, and Hobi just left. And I can’t blame him for it since the chat must’ve made him feel like basically no one cared about him so what was even the point of him being there, right?

Personally I’ve long given up looking at the comments during vlive because they just make me cringe and feel bad for the members, especially when I think back to vlives such as Yoongi’s D2 one last year where he was so excited to talk about the songs and the process of making the mixtape and yet so many of the comments were just unrelated nonsense and annoying request like speak english or can you say my name or say hello in XYZ language. If it makes me question why the people posting those questions are in the chat, why they are fans to begin with, imagine what the members must feel like, how discouraging that must feel like. After all they are musicians and yet so rarely do they get questions about that. Or rather they do get them but they are just drowned out by nonsense. Which is a shame. And also very disrespectful but any attempts that were made to remind people to be respectful, to remember their place as fans, to focus on the member that’s doing the vlive instead of asking about the others, and to keep ships away from the members have failed because some don’t care and will continue to not care.

From anon: what are your opinions on the Qs that were asked during that zoom meeting thing between BTS and ARMY?

Now I’d like to preface my answer to this last question by saying that by no means do my grievances come from a place of jealousy or anything. I’m very happy for all the ARMYs that won their spot, that they got to participate in the event and that BTS got to see ARMYs again even if only on screens and not in person still. No, my issue stems from something completely different, and I don’t want to say that the system chose the wrong people, because that would be mean and also who even knows how the winners were chosen, if it was pure luck or there were some actual criteria that went into the process, but the fact is that only a select 200 ARMYs got that spot out of however many that applied, so basically for some this was a once in a lifetime chance, right, even just getting this close to asking Bangtan a question and have really great chances of having them give you an answer while acknowledging you somewhat instead of just seeing pure words on a screen, you know what I mean?

Now imagine you are one of those 200 ARMYs and you get the chance to fill the chat with questions along with the other 49 participants of your session and you decide that asking questions such as what it’s like for Jimin to work as angel, if Namjoon ever broke a bicycle, or why JK smells the crowns of the other members heads? Or even worse, you decide to ask about JKs shower routine and in which order he washes his body? And sure, the “fault” doesn’t fall completely on the ARMYs alone, after all it’s the members who read out those questions and not some magical off screen entity, and since I wasn’t part of the event I can’t say with a hundred percent certainty that no one asked any “proper” questions, but if those were the questions that ended up being read out loud, is it that hard to guess that likely all the questions looked similarly? 

Which brings me to my main grievance of it all: have you forgotten that you are fans of musicians and not reality TV stars or vloggers/influencers? I know there were likely no rules for what questions you could or couldn’t ask (except for probably ones that were 100% about shipping or far too personal), but really, you get to ask your favorite band a question, something you might never, ever get the chance to do again, and your first thought isn’t to ask about their music but instead about some unimportant nonsense like the angel question or if they differentiate between the clothes they wear at home and those they sleep in? Like sure the angel one was kinda funny, maybe, and Jimin handled it in a cute way, I applaud him for it, but was that really necessary?

I know someone asked JK about Decalcomania, as well as Tae about his mixtape, and Yoongi/Jimin about Tony Montana (season 2), but other than that were there any other questions about their music? Perhaps I’m overthinking things, maybe I’m exaggerating and maybe I’m the only one who sees an issue with this, but if I would’ve won a spot, I’d rather have asked something about their process when writing lyrics or creating beats or how they prepare when learning new choreographies, what it’s like to be on tour (though perhaps that would be a mean question seeing as tours aren’t really something that’ll continue being possible for a while still), you get the point.

It makes me wonder if it was just bad luck or if it had something to do with how old the participants were (I saw some being as young as fifteen), which isn’t to say that teens can’t ask smart questions because they definitely can just like adults can ask stupid ones as well, but somewhere something, in my opinion, just went weirdly. And maybe that was the point of it all, for the event to be casual, funny, lighthearted, but my question then is when is the time for music discussions? For fans to ask those types of questions that actually have something to do with the boys careers? When even journalists aren’t asking them proper questions, ARMYs aren’t either, so what is the point of it all then?

Then again, after the event concluded and Seokjin came onto vlive he seemed so happy and excited, so maybe they had fun (I mean they seemed to have fun) and didn’t mind at all that the questions were lighthearted and silly, maybe I’m the one making mountains out of molehills. I don’t know, but anon wanted to know my thoughts/opinions, and this is them. Once again, I don’t mean to be mean toward the ARMYs that got rightfully in, that won, and I don’t want to insult them for the questions they asked, perhaps I just expected/hoped for something a little different? And perhaps I’m the only one. I don’t know. 

#answered ask #BTS #vmin #jimin #Vmin vlive

[miraculouscontent]

Didn’t Need Burrow (August 7th-September 13th)

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Ladybug and Chat Noir will be asked to participate in judging a competition that Marinette and Adrien are both a part of. Ladybug will want to vote for herself as Marinette, but Tikki will tell her(once detransformed and while she is snacking) that she can’t because then people will know that Marinette is Ladybug. Chat Noir, meanwhile, will freely vote for Adrien with no repercussions or drawbacks, and Adrien will end up winning the competition. Marinette will admit that she was “so silly” to even think of voting for herself, especially since “Adrien needs the award more so that I do” despite being rich, white, male, and “perfect”(oh, I’m sorry, “purrfect”!), since all of Marinette’s legitimate problems of anxiety, dyspraxia, and the like get thrown out the window because the writers’ perfect sunshine boy incel stand-in has a “saaad home life!”, and Marinette needs to give him pity and put his feelings above his rather than wish for her own success. Cuz Girl Power.

tbh, given the leaks script, I’d reverse that and saying that Adrien voted for LadyNoir as Couple of the Year.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Marinette and Adrien will reveal their identities, and Marinette actually WILL be disappointed that the boy who goofed off in fights and didn’t take no for an answer is none other than her perfect modeling celebrity crush. However, rather than this being a point towards Adrien needing to learn how to improve himself and accept Marinette’s feelings, this scene is used to make HER look bad(because of course it is) and she is blamed for expecting Adrien to be perfect(despite being encouraged and told to see him as such), and told that she should be happy that Chat was hitting on her even when she didn’t like it or it got in the way of battle plans, likely by Alya, because it was her true love under the mask all along. Eventually she “learns her lesson”(ick) and comes to accept Adrichat for who he is, warts and all. Bonus if she has a flashback to when Chat said “if you saw me without my mask you wouldn’t be able to resist me” as she realizes that he was right.

Didn’t Need Burrow? More like “Didn’t Need to Think About This”

i hate it

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Luka will be Chat Blanc "2.0"

But Luka doesn’t have Chat-level favoritism going so Bunnyx won’t be there to defend him from consequences.

Anonymous asked:

We will have Ladybug!Alya in Marinette's akumatization episode. Obviously everyone would think that she is "better" than "old" Ladybug. (Bonus points if Ladybug!Alya don't "alienate" Chat Noir, mostly by catering to his whims)

Oh, of course! No one will miss the “old” Ladybug.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Bob Roth is akumatized into Rip Off, a supervillain with power to copy anything he sees (including powers of heroes)

Okay but that’s genius.

(I know we already had it in “Miraculer” but I like this more.)

Anonymous asked:

DNB: Now that Luka knows their identities, he will push the Love Square in a romantic manner. Stans would be totally fine with this because it doesn't interfere with their endgame :)

Well, obviously!

I’m just waiting for them to basically say that the secret identities don’t matter and, because they like one side, also means they like the other side.

Because forget nuance, am I right?

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: In the end, (after Adrienette gets together) Narrator reveals himself (herself?) as Alya with words "that's how I helped my bestie [Marinette] get a relationship with love of her life [Adrien]" or something similar.

wait, Alya, are you filming a Ladybug biography

why did you include all the humilation

why

That explains her making herself look good though.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Luka will finally reveal that he knows Heroes' secret identities... to Alya, who obviously decide to hide from Marinette that Luka knows her identity (Bonus Points if reason provided by Alya why she is doing this is utterly ridiculous)

AAAAAAAAAAAA

I guess Luka would have to realize that Alya knows. Bonus if he tells her Chat’s identity too so love square shipping can commence.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: "Knitting Fairy" will be name of Marinette's akumatized form.

Can you say “reused design”? I certainly can, we’re used to it.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow:

Luka keeping his knowledge about the identities (esp. Ladybug’s) will somehow blow up in a way for the writers to paint him in a bad light, probably ending with Marinette not trusting him. (As well as no hint of irony that Adrien did the same thing for completely selfish reasons in Chat Blanc).

MiraculousMX: Platonic soulmates!

us: Source??

Anonymous asked:

DNB: If LS gets reversed, Adrien complains about Marinette having other friends. Not just being friends with Luka or any other guys, but friends PERIOD, showing the same jealousy/desire for his 'love interest' to be isolated as Chat Noir. These MASSIVE RED FLAGS are treated as Just More Innocent Sadrien Things, because he's sOoOoOo Sad and SoOoOoO Lonely~

Oh god, now I had an awful thought that this is where Adrien getting jealous of Luka, and Luka feels bad/”knows what’s best” so he either ditches Marinette/finds an excuse to leave or makes sure that Adrien gets his time with her.

Because it’s the love square so it’s “important” that Marinette spend time with Adrien.

Anonymous asked:

Dnb: assuming the Senti-Adrien theory is true, in the season finale, Viperion joins the fight, stops SM from using the ladybug an cat miraculi by going back in time only to use them by himself, wishing for Adrien to be a real boy (and love Marinette). Of course Luka needs to give something in exchange, worst case scenario, his life.

That got really dark.

Though tbh with how much they push Luka and Marinette around, one of them will probably have to give up something huge for Adrien (they both already sacrificed their relationship, so--).

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: If Chat Noir joins Shadow Moth then he is treated by both Gabriel and Heroes as his greatest asset, even through he is still complete joke that is defeated by rest of Heroes faster than Mr Pigeon in "Timetagger". (Bonus points if Heroes defeat him by "Backhand Offhand", Offscreen or he is defeated by "Friendly Fire" from Akuma of the Week due to his own stupidity)

tbh I could probably do more sad math with “how often Chat Noir/Cataclysm is useless,” bonus if it’s put up against characters/Ladybug stroking his ego.

Anonymous asked:

DNB: Adrien's fears concerning Ladybug are made more explicit through a nightmare/vision (possibly akuma-induced) of Ladybug calling him unreliable/saying she doesn't need him anymore because she has partners she can actually COUNT on. Naturally, this is treated as Pure Sadrien Hours rather than a fair critique. Bonus if he ditches/forces her to beg for his assistance AGAIN to soothe his poor bruised baby ego.

*“Malediktator” flashbacks, but Adrien instead of Chloe*

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien/Chat Noir skips out on a fight/akuma attack for some spiteful, selfish reason or another. Ladybug handles it without him, either completely through her own skill or with help from Rena/other heroes. Adrien then angsts about 'not being needed', with Marinette's 'Mistake of the Day' being that she didn't cater to his pity party due to being too busy DOING HER DAMNED JOB.

me seeing that one leaked script where they talk about how Chat/Cataclysm would make things easier: *sigh*

Anonymous asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: Plagg will encourage Adrien to act even more selfishly, skipping more battles and being even brattier. This is so his stans can blame Plagg for being 'a bad influence' on their perfect angel, even when it's clear the two of them are on the same wavelength. Oooh, he's twisting his rubber arm; how AWFUL--! Adrien would NEVER do all these Awful Things he's already done if he didn't have Plagg~! What a bad kitty~!

“rubber arm” jdfkgjndfjgfg

tbh Plagg already is super laidback and doesn’t really like transforming/complains about going into battle, so this isn’t much of a stretch.

Anonymous asked:

DNB: "Gabriel Agreste" or other episodes will reveal that Gabriel flew many, if not ALL of the same Red Flags his son displays on a regular basis. The narrative treats this as though this makes Gabriel more 'sweet, sad and sympathetic' rather than illustrating that both of them are dangerously entitled and generally awful.

This sounded really intriguing as a sort of “apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” thing until that last sentence kicked in.

That’s damn accurate to what they’d do too, ugh.

Anonymous asked:

DNB: Plagg is the one that discovers that Gabriel is Hawk/Shadowmoth, but is forcibly sworn to silence by Adrien. Bonus if Adrien somehow gives this command without learning what Plagg is trying to tell him -- i.e. he get irritated and orders Plagg to shut up in a way that bars him from EVER saying what he was attempting to say -- so that Adrien's stans can claim it was all a big misunderstanding and blame Plagg entirely for it. Or Marinette. Somehow.

Oh oh oh!

Alternatively, Adrien silences Plagg without realizing that he has that kind of power (like saying, “you can’t tell anyone!” and we see the magic hit Plagg’s mouth), so the fandom can say, “HE DOESN’T KNOOOW THAT HE DID IT.”

Anonymous asked:

dntb: Luka is gonna be villianised in some way for not telling Marinette he knows the identities of both of them

Meanwhile, Alya, slipping the bouncer her free pass.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: After one of the kwamis ​​makes one snickering comment too many, Marinette snaps and tells them all to shut up (with obvious outcome). Narrative obviously equals it to scene between Gabriel and Noroo from "Sandboy" (Bonus Points if Narrative deems Marinette worse than Gabriel, because "Gabriel forbid Noroo from talking as joke")

oh my goooooood

Marinette: *snaps because she’s stressed out*

the fandom: SHE SO MEAN!!! ;o;

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Adrien's reveal as Sentimonster just for additional souce of "sad points" for him

this DNB: i am inevitable

mystic-lionroar asked:

Didn't Need Burrow: The writers' Status-Quo allergy kicks in when someone very pointedly implies Chloe, Lila and/or Gabriel work for Hawk Moth with how many Akumas they tend to cause... only to get reminded point blank that "Hawk Moth is the sole one responsible for this mess, no one else". Cue two episodes later, both the characters and the writers' memories of this scene are erased. What erased it? ╰( ･ ᗜ ･ )╯Why, Marinette can be held responsible for this one, of course! (Me: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻)

╰（‵□′）╯

OH MY GOOOOD

“Crocoduel” also basically already blamed Marinette for two akumatizations so at this point we’re just waiting.

Anonymous asked:

DNB: To further cement the whole 'destined to be' shlock, after the shock of the eventual reveal wears off, we get a call back to how frequently Chat Noir told Ladybug that they were meant for each other and that she 'was the only one who didn't see it'. Marinette agrees that she was silly and foolish for not recognizing it sooner, parroting Adrien's bullshit in order to further cement the notion that she's HAPPILY accepting her 'fate' to be nothing more than his personal prize.

You can’t see it but I have my head in my hands in grief.

Anonymous asked:

DNB: Adrien's gross sense of entitlement towards Ladybug will become even more explicit, with him angrily ranting about how he DESERVES to 'get the girl'. No matter how awful and nasty he gets, the narrative continues to treat him as though he's 100% right to be pissed off at her for DARING to have agency or thinking she has a say in things. As clearly, the biggest mistake Marinette has ever made is thinking she gets to have Opinions or make her own decisions. G-girl power...?

Marinette needing to be constantly told what’s best for her by other people and it’s okay because she needs to accept+follow all opinions.

end me

Anonymous asked:

DNB: The double standard between Adrien and other characters will be more noticeable. Adrien will still be put on a pedestal.

Because no one will notice Adrien if they didn’t put him on a metaphorical and physical pedastal.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Foxy Cat and CaraBug

omg Fox Adrien.is one of the worst hero choices I’ve ever heard fjdgjfjdglfkdg

I could at least see why Marinette thought that Adrien fit the snake since the narrative gushes for him so hard.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: As a result of being written by a straight white male writing team, the show starts to use Marinette’s girliness against her. From her love of pink being mocked to the kwamis admitting(in the spirit of another DNB) that they don’t respect Marinette because she’s “too girly”, to her fashion designing being treated as a cutesy but ultimately fickle pastime(in the spirit that all teenage girls’ interests are treated), the show absolutely throws Girl Power out the window in favor of giving Marinette absolute hell for daring to present herself in a traditionally feminine way, treating her femininity as the butt of a joke that no one is laughing at. Bonus points of someone says(or even outright tells her to her face) that she’s “such a girl”, as if that’s supposed to be an insult. Alternatively, this happens to Rose instead of Marinette, as she’s just as girly if not more so than her, or it happens to both of them(regardless of whether or not it’s at the same time).

WOOOOW

I mean, honestly, yeah.

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Things other characters did that were bad will be retconned into things that Marinette did instead, or will otherwise be retconned into being her fault, no matter how improbable or contradictory. Meanwhile, bad things characters did to Marinette or good things characters did FOR Marinette will be retconned into nonexistence.

I MEAN THEY BLAMED MARINETTE FOR “SILENCER” SO--

MATTER OF TIME.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Simultaneous Akumatization of Manon, Chris, Ella and Etta, obviously when they are babysat by Marinette, because otherwise ML Writers wouldn't be able to paint it as Marinette's fault

oh god

please no

I mean, not even just to blame Marinette for it, but I can’t even stand these kids when they’re on their own, MUCH LESS TOGETHER.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: If Adrien gets akumatized, then it would be just Chat Blanc with shoulder pads and crown

Is this a reference to my Miracle Queen post?

Because yes.

Anonymous asked:

Didn't need burrow: In Hack-San Chat Noir will pull a Sentibubler and refuse to listen to Alya with the Ladybug Miraculous as he doesn't have a brain unless he can progress the not so progressive four-sided Hellfire, which is actually still the best-case-scenario. I mean he could just not come at all, since he's only there to flirt with and seduce Ladybug with unfunny jokes.

Anonymous asked:

DNB: Adrien causes problems because of Alyabug.

ugggggh

Anonymous asked:

DNB: Alya will immediately have access to things like the creation of charms despite how long it took for Marinette to be able to do that.

Wait--

If she doesn’t, did they literally just give Alya the ladybug miraculous because they knew that Markov wouldn’t have a way of hiding the amulet on him and they didn’t feel like putting it on his model???

Anonymous asked:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Alya’s Ladybug name is “Coccinelle” aka “Ladybug” in French. Or something equally lazy such as The Red Spotted One or the Scarlett Beetle. Even if it sounds cool at first glance, it will ultimately boil down to a plain and obvious name, because apparently EVERY superhero’s name has to so blatantly relate to the animal their Miraculous is based off of. For some reason. Somehow. -_-

fhkgjfdkgdfg okay but “The Red Spotted One” made me laugh.

Anonymous asked:

Hack-San DNB’s:

• Chat Noir will be upset that Ladybug trusted her miraculous to someone else.

• There will be a comment on how Alya was a just as good, if not better Ladybug than Marinette.

• Alya’s performance as LB will be used as another instance to show Marinette made the ‘right choice’ telling her her identity.

• Using the Horse to teleport back instead giving the earrings to Alya will not be mentioned as an option.

• Scene of Adrichat being sad about ‘feeling replaced’.

Especially on that “comment that Alya is just as good, if not better,” one, it probably won’t even be used as a reassurance for Marinette like, “oh, that’s good to know that I’m not the only one who can be Ladybug,” it’ll just be praise for Alya.

Anonymous asked:

Hack-San DNB: Chat Noir gets angry with LB for not telling him she was leaving & she has to apologize for it.

(Despite making sure there was a backup Ladybug to protect Paris, unlike Chat in the NY special who left the city completely unprotected).

Convenient.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: "Dearest Family" (episode where both of Marinette's parents are akumatized) will be about Marinette learning "true value" of Chat Noir

Either that or incorporating Adrien into the family.

Anonymous asked:

Don't Need a Burrow: Psycomedian will be blatant Joker rip-off

You can just say “all akuma in the season will either be rip-offs of themselves or past akuma,” it’s okay. :P

Anonymous asked:

Another DNB for Hack-San, since we see Jagged Stone in the trailer, so if they show it..:

The “most precious possession” of Jagged’s will be Fang and not, y’know, either of his children.

I missed that trailer.

Honestly there could be some funny moments with the concept, but if Jagged is the only joke made about it then yes, I will be very bitter.

Alternatively, Jagged picks his guitar instead.

Anonymous asked:

DNB: In the Alyabug episode, Alya will either be Practically Perfect In Every Way™, or will royally screw up in a way that will somehow lead to Marinette. Either way, Cat Noir will flirt with the new Ladybug, or pull a Sentibubbler. Or both. There may or may not be a comment about how Alyabug's costume is so much better than Marinette's despite being a fashion designer.

dkfgkjdfgjf I adore how this whole thing is just, “there’s so many ways it could go wrong!”

#category: salt #Didn't Need Burrow #other: ask and answer

[ruewrites]

Sky Full of Stars

AO3

Ship: Solomon/Asmo, Diavolo/Lucifer

Word Count: 2675

Warning: None

A/N: Happy Day 7 of Solodeus Week! I decided to combine both of the prompts Stars and Soulmates for today. I had a lot of fun participating and I hope that you all enjoyed! I loved seeing other people's work as well. I hope that this is something that continued to grow in the future! Comments are appreciated!

The posters had been hanging around RAD for months at this point. Tonight, shooting stars would fill the dark Devildom sky. All the students were buzzing about it and the rumor mill was running over time. Who asked out who? Did she really get rejected? Did he really think he had a chance? Did they make things official? Asmo made it his job to know all of the gossip. He had participated in his fair share when it came to rejections. It wasn’t his fault that he was beautiful and that people threw themselves at him because of it!

However, his rejections were coming a little harsher today than they had in days past. And that was due to the fact that the one person he actually wanted to ask him out hadn’t even made a move yet. He’d been pulling out all the stops too! He was spending extra time on his hair, did his make up extra special, and dropped a significant amount of grim on his nails. Yet Solomon seemed completely dense as to what Asmo was angling for.

Tonight was supposed to be a night of romance, the most romantic event of the century even! And he’d be damned if he was going to be left out of it all. What would people say if he, the Avatar of Lust himself, didn’t have a date to the star shower? It would be absolutely humiliating! But he didn’t want just anyone, he wanted Solomon.

Now here he was.

On the last day of classes before the big event.

And Solomon still hadn’t asked him.

Solomon had been locked away in the library, barely even responding to Asmo’s texts if at all. He hadn’t even bothered to have a decent conversation with him! But that wouldn’t stop him. It couldn’t stop him. He was going to spend the most romantic night of his life, with Solomon, alone at the star shower.

At least, that was the plan, until Lucifer gathered them all into the living room.

“What?” Asmo heard his own voice ring in chorus with his brothers.

Lucifer let out a sigh, “Lord Diavolo wants us all to meet so we can enjoy the stars together and before any of you can ask, no, you can’t get out of it. This is a mandatory event that we all will be attending together.”

Normally, Asmo would love attending one of Lord Diavolo’s little parties, but this wasn’t one of those normal times. So much for him having a romantic night alone with Solomon under the stars. Now he would be spending this wonderful night alone with his brothers.

To make matters worse, he had no doubt that Diavolo would be showering Lucifer with affection all night. Even if Lucifer was flustered and trying to change the subject, it would still be completely unfair. Asmo should be getting attention like that from Solomon. Instead he’d be watching Diavolo fawn over Lucifer all night and contemplating how he was going to explain that he hadn’t had a date.

He was a little more than crestfallen walking into the palace. He was more than prepared to wallow in his own pity the whole night until a familiar voice caressed his ear.

“-I mean, are you sure Barbatos?”

“Most certainly. I’d bet almost anything on it.”

Asmo’s head shot up. Solomon was deep in a conversation with Barbatos, the two didn’t seem to notice that the brothers had walked in yet. He would have gone over to him, but Asmo was completely caught off guard. By the time his mind had processed the situation before him, more figures were already greeting them.

“Oh, Simeon,” Lucifer said, “I didn’t realize you all would be here too.”

“Lord Diavolo thought it would be a wonderful idea if we all got together to enjoy the stars together. Luke was really excited to see them, and I thought it sounded like a marvelous idea.”

By the time Asmo looked back, both Solomon and Barbatos were gone.

***

So far, the night was going exactly how Asmo predicted it would. Lord Diavolo had whisked Lucifer away, not allowing him escape from whatever ministrations he had planned. Solomon should be paying attention to him like that now. He should be lavishing him in endless praise and adoration. Instead he was off who knows where with another one of their pact mates most likely. He slumped down into his seat, picking at whatever food was currently sitting in front of him. He wasn’t interested in eating. He wasn’t interested in doing too much of anything really.

“Asmodeus?” he hadn’t even realized Simeon sliding into the chair next to him, “Are you quite alright?”

Asmo looked at him for a moment before returning his attention to… whatever it was on his plate. “Oh just peachy. I love my partner ignoring me. All week. Not inviting me out to gaze at the beautiful stars falling from the sky. Like every other couple at RAD. It’s a wonderful feeling.”

Was he being passive aggressive?

Yes.

Simeon cleared his throat and shifted in the seat next to him ever so slightly. He seemed a little taken aback by Asmo’s response. “Well, that uh… Certainly sounds like… Something,” how ironic it was that a writer was struggling to find his words, “In any case, would you like to accompany me?”

Asmodeus stopped playing with the food on his plate and slowly turned to Simeon with a raised eyebrow. “Accompany you?” he repeated, “Where?”

“Oh, you know… Around.”

This had to be one of the most painfully awkward conversations that he had ever had in his entire life if not the most painful. Simeon was still fidgeting in his seat and adjusting the high collar on his neck. He looked over to Lucifer’s blushing face as Diavolo rattled off yet another list of praises to him. Asmo couldn’t hear what he was saying, but he didn’t need to. His feelings would still be the same.

It was Solomon’s own fault that he wasn’t spending time with him.

“Alright then,” Asmo stood from his seat with a little more force than what was necessary, “Let’s go somewhere.”

***

Simeon led Asmo away from the crowd and down the long halls of the palace. Eventually they were in the palace gardens. And then they went deeper, and deeper, and deeper. If the castle hadn’t been so tall, Asmo surely would have lost sight of it. They walked for a little while longer in silence until they came to a wrought iron gate. To Asmo’s surprise, Barbatos was standing next to that gate.

“Good evening Asmodeus. Enjoying yourself so far?” he asked.

“Well, I- … No.”

“I see. Well I hope your night gets better,” he moved so that he was in front of the gate, and in one swift motion and a click of the lock it was open, “At this point we both will be leaving. Do enjoy yourself.”

Asmodeus was confused. Actually, confused may have been a severe understatement. But he still walked through, even as the door clicked shut behind him.

Beautiful flowers dotted the bushes on either side of him. The hedge walls twisted and turned leading him down the path under the light of the moon. Slowly, the trail widened leading him up a hill, and the scene certainly took him by surprise.

Solomon was there, a telescope behind him as he fidgeted with what Asmo assumed were last minute details. There was a blanket, a basket, and flowers in a vase in the center. At the sound of his footsteps, Solomon lifted his head and a smile spread across his face. Quickly he stood and made his way down to meet Asmo halfway. His arms were out wide for him but instead of running and embracing him, Asmo stopped right in front of him with his hands on his hips.

“Excuse me. Exactly what were you thinking?” Asmo asked.

Solomon stopped and blinked once, twice. “I- What?”

“You heard me,” Asmo huffed and leaned back, “You. Didn’t. Ask. Me. To. Come. Out. With. You. Tonight. I’d been waiting for you too since the posters came out Solomon! And you just never did! Do you have any idea how many people kept trying to get me to go with them? How many people I turned down? I just-” He let out a groan of frustration, throwing his hands onto his face. A small part of him was relieved, but he was also incredibly frustrated.

“Well, I mean, Diavolo was planning on asking all of us to come so,” Solomon gestured to the scene behind him, “I figured we’d both be here anyways.”

“I didn’t know that!” Asmo exclaimed, “Lucifer didn’t tell us! We were going until Friday! And he didn’t seem to know that all of you were even going to be here! I just-! Do you have any idea how much stress you caused me? If I get wrinkles I will hunt you down.”

Solomon laughed and put a hand on the small of Asmo’s back, leading him up to the blanket. “I apologize Asmodeus, I didn’t realize,” he stopped and took ahold of Asmo’s hands, kneeling on the ground and tugging him to follow, “I got so caught up in preparing all of this that the idea you might want me to ask slipped my mind. I figured it was a given we’d spend the night together.”

Oh. Oh Solomon was smooth with his tongue. Of course he was, he could be when he wanted to be. He could either be smooth and sexy or a complete fool who loved to make Asmo laugh. And what could he say? Whatever he was doing was absolutely working. He followed him down onto the blanket and folded his knees behind him.

“Look up,” Solomon said, pulling Asmo close and looking up at the sky, “You can see a couple, they just started not too long ago. You can see them from here, the telescope is just in case we want to get a closer look.”

Asmo nodded and snuggled closer to Solomon. He was quiet for a moment before speaking, “Did you really spend all your time planning this?”

“Well most of the time,” Solomon asked, “I did have to sleep at some point you know.”

Asmo snorted and elbowed his side. Solomon’s response was to bury his nose into Asmo’s hair.

The stars started to pick up in the sky. They started coming in twos, then threes, until the entire sky was lit up with their beauty. Neither one of them spoke, instead they stared up at the beauty above them and relished in each other's company.

“You know, I never really believed in the concept of soulmates,” Solomon said, his hand running up and down Asmo’s arm, “The idea never really seemed plausible to me. I mean one person being out there for everyone? Everyone in all three realms? It seemed far-fetched really. But then-”

“But then?”

“I met you,” Solomon’s voice was soft, adoring. It made Asmo feel warm, “And my perspective changed. I thought, perhaps it could be possible. I used to think of humans alone when I thought of soulmates. One human for one human. But perhaps, soulmates could be a human and a demon.”

Solomon kissed the top of his head and relaxed once again into his embrace. Asmo mulled over his words.

Soulmates.

Did he believe in soulmates?

The idea was incredibly romantic, but what truly was a soulmate?

Asmo turned his attention away from the sky to stare at Solomon. He took in his features, his eyes, his cheek bones, his strong jawline, his nose. All of them were seared into Asmo’s mind, and when he thought about them, his heart fluttered. He knew the unconditional love that came with Solomon, and every little thing about him always brought him back to that fact. Every little moment they shared, every kiss, every breath was intertwined with a silent ‘I love you’, a silent promise.

What they had together was an unspoken promise, something that just was and always would be.

Under the starlight, Asmo moved to look up at Solomon. No words were spoken between them. They moved closer together.

Under the starlight they were one.

One body.

One mind.

One single soul adrift out at sea.

Every touch lit Asmo ablaze, every little movement struck him deep within his core, every kiss on his skin was a mark on a well memorized road map.

It wasn’t till long after the display had finished, that the two of them were making their way back to the castle still all too tangled up in eachother, but also trying to fix their clothes. Asmo knew that Lucifer knew as soon as he stepped inside. His brother took one look at both him and Solomon, taking note of their clothing and narrowed his eyes.

Oh Asmo could already hear the lecture that he'd brought upon himself, and he could only imagine what choice words Lucifer had in store for Solomon. Lucifer didn’t like the relationship, but he also didn’t know Solomon like Asmo did. He offered Lucifer a little wave before taking Solomon’s arm and walking off to a table together.

“Before I forget, I have one more thing for you,” Solomon said, pushing Asmo’s chair in, “I just-”

Asmo felt Solomon slip something into both of his ears, and when he sat down, he held up his D.D.D. so that Asmo could see. Two of the most gorgeous earrings Asmo had ever seen now rested gently in his ears. They sparkled and glittered down from the studs in his ears. And the studs… They had a moving image in them, a scene that looked oh so familiar.

“I had the telescope set up for another reason aside from getting a closer look at the stars.” Solomon started, “I wanted you to have that scene with you forever. I’d been working on a spell to capture it the moment I learned this was going to happen.”

“I love it,” Asmo breathed, gently touching the earrings as he admired them in Solomon’s camera. Solomon grabbed his hand once again and squeezed.

Soulmates.

Maybe Asmo did believe in the word after all.

He didn’t care who was around them or who saw. Asmo leaned in and kissed Solomon’s lips. He could already see his cheeks and the tips of his ears turning red, Solomon didn’t pull away. Instead he ran his hands up and down Asmo’s arms, indulging his partner in the kiss.

Asmo had never been happier than when he’d been with Solomon.

Soulmates.

Solomon always made his days.

Soulmates.

He filled his skies full of stars.

Soulmates.

It was hard not to see stars when he was with him.

Soulmates.

The word continued to ring out in Asmo’s mind. Perhaps Solomon had been made for him. Perhaps this had been planned from the beginning. But he didn’t care, because either way, Solomon was his, and he was Solomon’s

When they pulled away from the kiss, Asmo swore he saw thousands of shooting stars in Solomon’s eyes. Thousands of his wishes were constantly being fulfilled by the man before him. He leaned into Solomon’s arms from his chair, resting his head on his chest and letting the gentle thump of his heartbeat lull him into a sense of security. Solomon’s hands roamed over his body, visiting places he had long visited before.

Soulmates.

This human was his, and he would always be his.

If anyone from the newspaper club was here, they could take all the pictures that their little hearts could desire. Everyone he turned down should know the wonderful man that deserved him. They could all say what they wanted, but it didn’t matter, because Solomon held his heart and he held Solomon’s.

Solomon lit up his sky with stars, and in the end, that was all that mattered.

#SolodeusWeek2021 #ruewrites #solodeus #soloasmo #asmosolo #asmodeus x solomon #obey me #obey me solomon #obey me asmodeus #obey me simeon #obey me barbatos #obey me lucifer #obey me diavolo #dialuci #diavolo x lucifer

[freebooter4ever]

Living in close quarters for months on end with a bunch of men his own age doesn't bother Snafu a bit. It's the one part of the Marines Corps he actually enjoys. Like living on an island full of eye candy. Snafu became mostly numb to the sheer number of naked butts by the end of his second day on Pavuvu. With the heat and the sun, the men need very little provocation to strip their clothing off. It was distracting for about an hour and then it became commonplace.

Later, after Gloucester, after living for three straight weeks in rain and misery, under the constant threat of violent death, and then returning once more to Pavuvu, Snafu becomes numb to everything....

He's never been one for carousing - a trait his peers in high school picked up on pretty quick. He's been compensating ever since. Packing on the innuendo and flirtation, and studying how other men act towards women and amplifying it in his own behavior.

So even before the numbness set in, Snafu isn't sure he ever actually felt anything like what others seem to describe. Even though Snafu admires his daily fill of half dressed fellow Marines wandering around camp, he does it in a detached sort of way that makes him feel more like an observer than participant. And it's good, because while there are whispers and rumors about certain guys who will take a man into the woods and show him a good time, Snafu doesn't need to get involved. He gets himself into enough trouble without adding a court martial onto it.

A few days after Gloucester an envelope arrives. There's no letter, simply a newspaper clipping slipped inside and stamped. The clipping is from his hometown newspaper and the article is about their hometown hero - brave Merriell Shelton - who shot up the enemy with his 'mortar gun'.

It's truly amazing how in a small town such as his, one can go from being the delinquent orphan son of impoverished half crazed parents easily forgotten by polite society, to being a hometown hero in the span of one battle.

Everyone in K company teases him about the article, especially about the 'mortar gun' bit. Snafu enjoys it immensely. He takes pride in his notoriety. It adds to his carefully cultivated mystique. No one wants to fuck with the fast talking, mean Merriell Shelton, war hero.

In actuality, Snafu is no hero. He fights for one reason, and that's the fifty dollars a month being sent home to his kid sister. He doesn't want her saddled with being a burden to her adopted family. Not like Snafu was with their own parents.

Overall, aside from the numbness, everything about Snafu's time in the Marine Corps is going well. He has respect, he has the looming potential of death and relief, and he has a steady diet of filling if questionable food. He thinks he's got a handle on things.

Till his downfall arrives a few days after the envelope.

Eugene Sledge looks like a fool from the minute he steps into Snafu's tent. Something about him irritates the hell out of Snafu. To try and figure out what about Sledge bothers him so much, Snafu goes out of his way to run into the guy. But no dice. Nothing works.

It doesn't click until Snafu accidentally runs into Sledge in the showers. Normally Snafu showers on off times to avoid any accidents. But after one particularly disgusting round of coconut duty, Snafu is stuck washing the gritty stickiness off in the middle of the day.

At first there's just him and Pops in the showers. A typical sight - Gunney Haney is obsessively clean. Snafu ignores him, and ignores the new Boots who join them halfway through. Snafu requires single minded focus to fish out all the coconut pieces that mysteriously found their way into his hair.

Once finished, Snafu turns around and bends his head back under the stream of water to rinse. He opens his eyes after the worst of the suds are gone, and spots Eugene Sledge in the group of new recruits. They are huddled around the shower heads in the opposite corner as far away from Snafu and Pops as they can get. Snafu smirks at them as a greeting.

It's kinda fun being intimidating.

Except they aren't paying attention to him. Sledge's eyes are transfixed on Haney as the man scrubs his dick.

Admittedly, for the uninitiated, seeing Haney shower is quite a sight. The man uses a bristly GI brush. The working theory is that he's been doing it so long and he's so old that his skin is pickled enough to be as thick and tough as leather. Everyone stares and winces in pain when they first witness Haney washing his junk.

However, Sledge is unusually engrossed. Snafu feels a strange prickle at the back of his neck and a spike of annoyance over this.

Jealousy - a word Snafu's never related to before.

Once he recognizes the feeling, though, he starts seeing it everywhere. Sledge is genuinely kind, and cares about everyone in a way that would stretch Snafu thin enough to break. Sledge is the best sharpshooter in the company, beating Snafu's considerable score by almost an entire point. Sledge takes every work duty thrown at him without complaint and with stubborn pride. Sledge takes everything thrown at him without complaint, including Snafu's own malice.

And all Snafu wants is for Sledge to just fucking look at him.

The tipping point comes after Sledge's little buddy Philips rotates home without warning. The despondency Sledge sinks into for a few days makes Snafu ache with frustration. Sledge starts disappearing whenever the replacements get an hour or two off. Snafu makes it his mission to find him.

He eventually does. Turns out Sledge is running off to a secluded beach, but he never goes in the water. Instead he sits crosslegged in the sand and stares at crabs. Snafu shimmies up a palm tree and scoots across the rough bark until he's nearly hanging over the oblivious Sledge.

In Sledge's lap is a dog-eared notebook, probably a moonlight requisition from the officer's tents. Sledge hunches over the page, his hand scribbling furiously and Snafu cranes his neck till he can see what Sledge is working on.

It's drawings of crabs. Countless pages of them. Snafu straddles the uncomfortable palm tree for almost an hour, watching in disbelief as Sledge makes study after study of crab anatomy.

Instead of killing the damn invasive creatures with a shovel and burying them in the sand, Sledge draws them.

If Snafu could draw, maybe he'd finally be free of this strange fascination that's taken hold of him. The image of Sledge that one afternoon - showering, naked and lean and glowing in the midafternoon sun - burned itself in Snafu's brain. He doesn't know how to purge himself of it. At the time, he didn't even realize he'd been looking that closely at Sledge while they were in the showers, but afterwards his brain pieced the scraps of memory together and gave him a picture more vivid than what he thought he saw.

And now he sees it whenever he looks at Sledge.

Even on Peleliu, after everything's gone to shit, but somehow they got off the beach and somehow they're not dead yet, his mind drifts to Sledge. The boy strips off his shoes in the midst of battle. Snafu stops him, shoving Sledge's boots back into his chest with force.

It's the first time he lays hands on Sledge and he doesn't even register it because he's too busy being worried about the damn idiot being caught with his pants down and shoes off.

Sledge is a distraction. That's all he is.

Until Sledge fucking picks Snafu up off the ground even when Snafu is pretty sure he's already dead. Sledge drags Snafu out of his shock and out of danger, and proves he can keep his cool during battle. Cooler even than Snafu, who still runs hot whenever Sledge gets too close.

Naive little Sledgehammer grew up quick, but unlike Snafu, he did not grow up mean - he still saves worthless things fallen helpless in the sand and dirt. From that minute on, Snafu makes it his personal mission to preserve Eugene's goodness.

He doesn't anticipate Sledgehammer accepting Snafu's newfound loyalty so readily.

Burgie calls Snafu out on it teasingly during their ship ride back to dreaded Pavuvu. A painful bout of seasickness causes Snafu to lose track of Sledgehammer for a few hours aboard ship, and Snafu spends the time wandering the decks in search of him.

"Since when did you appoint yourself as his shadow, Snaf?" Burgie retorts when Snafu asks if he's seen the 'Hammer'.

"Just need to collect on my bet about him smoking by the end of his first battle," Snafu shrugs.

"Every nonsmoker smokes by the end of their first battle, Snafu. You already knew that," Burgie says, "Leave him be."

"No way," Snafu argues, "Someone needs to teach that rich boy that he don't know everything."

"And of course you'd be the one to do it," Burgie sighs.

Ironically, Sledge is the one to find Snafu in a random ship compartment instead of the other way around. Snafu is lying prone, trying to keep his half digested meal from rolling around.

"Here," Sledge says, shoving a small box at Snafu as hard as Snafu shoved Eugene's boots.

"What is it?" Snafu asks, feigning disinterest.

"Crackers. They'll help with the stomach," Sledge replies, "C'mon, let's get you topside."

"How the hell'd you get crackers on a ship short of rations?" Snafu asks. He obediently follows Eugene through the ship to the deck. Like a damn shadow.

"I sweet talked one of the swabbies," Sledge explains casually.

That news roils Snafu's gut. Jealousy again. It's lucky they made it to the deck. He staggers to the rail and pukes overboard.

"The swabby liked my accent," Eugene says and leans beside Snafu, "Think he was from northern Alabama. I told him how us southern boys have the best aim in the Marines."

Snafu finishes vomiting up the last of his afternoon chow.

Sledge sighs and places his hand on Snafu's upper back.

Snafu's glad no one else is around on this part of the deck to see his shame. He hangs on the rail and feels miserable.

"Get it all out?" Sledge asks, and passes Snafu his canteen.

Snafu takes a sip, swishes it around his mouth, and spits into the sea. And then guzzles as much water as he thinks he can keep down. He sticks his tongue out at the disgusting aftertaste and hands the canteen back.

Sledge runs his hand down from Snafu's back to his arm. Before Snafu knows what's happening Eugene is gently taking Snafu's hand and leading him away from the rail. Sledge sits on the deck and leans against the ship's wall. He tugs on Snafu's hand for him to sit next to him.

"Better to go down to one of the cabins," Snafu resists.

"You don't want to know how bad it smells down there," Sledge warns, "Trust me. Fresh air is best."

Snafu gives in and collapses next to Eugene. He tilts his head back against the cold metal and closes his eyes.

Sledge takes the box of saltines from Snafu's hands and Snafu hears rustling as Sledge opens the package. Sledge then nudges Snafu's elbow with the box.

"Eat," Sledge says.

Snafu groans and leans his head on Sledgehammer's shoulder instead. He doesn't want any ill-gotten flirtation crackers. It's a lot easier to close his eyes and pretend to sleep.

Sledge seems to not mind Snafu sleeping on him. He doesn't move away, at least. So Snafu uses it as an excuse to shuffle closer. Which is when he realizes Eugene never let go of his hand. He's still holding on. Tight.

"Snafu?" Sledge prompts. He uses Snafu's nickname like they're best buds, though they've hardly ever spoken.

Snafu grunts.

"On that airfield…" Sledge says, "Don't you ever dare do that again, allright?"

"Whatever you say, Sledgehammer," Snafu drawls, "Don't even know what I did."

"You just...lay there," Sledge says quietly, "Like you were...."

"Waiting?" Snafu tries to remember his own state of mind in that moment.

"Gone," Sledge says sharply.

"Same damn thing," Snafu gives up on sleeping and lights a cigarette.

"If you're not around who'll tell me what I'm doing wrong?" Sledge asks.

"Shit, Sledge," Snafu drawls with a grin, "practically anybody who's not you could do that."

Sledge actually chuckles. That's the thing about Eugene. He's not stuck up or prissy like Snafu'd expect him to be. He's humble, and willing to laugh at his own inexpertise.

"I'd rather it be you," Eugene adds quietly with a small smile.

Snafu sucks on his bottom lip and refuses to respond to that.

"So no dying," Eugene finishes, as if such a conclusion were a choice.

Snafu does fall asleep and when he wakes up a few hours later, Sledge's head is tipped on top of Snafu's. Sledge's long nose is in Snafu's hair and he's snoring loud enough to wake the enemy a thousand miles away. Snafu can feel Eugene's snores blowing his hair around.

Despite these annoyances, Snafu tries to freeze in place and jostle Eugene as little as possible.

Their hands are still linked together. Sledge's hand is wrapped tight around Snafu's. Snafu lifts Sledge's hand to examine his delicate fingers - long and gentle, but not dainty. Eugene has the calluses of an expert marksman, and painfully short fingernails. Snafu picks at the boy's ring curiously.

Sledge shifts and turns farther in towards Snafu's body. He draws his arm away from Snafu's fiddling and instead places his hand on Snafu's soft belly. "Stop moving," he mumbles.

"You stop snoring," Snafu complains. He bumps his head intentionally into Sledge's big nose to make his point.

Sledge ignores him and slumps more of his weight onto Snafu's shoulder.

Snafu accepts his fate and reaches over Sledge's body to steal the saltines. He opens the cracker package and starts snacking.

"Must you, with the crunching?" Sledge snarls after a few minutes.

"Got hungry, Sledgehammer," Snafu, "If you're gonna be using me as a pillow, I'm gonna need to generate extra padding."

Sledge sighs and holds his hand out, "Give me one."

Snafu complies, "If you get crumbs in my hair, I'll kill ya."

"Wouldn't be the worst thing in your hair right now, Snafu," Sledge gripes.

"Yeah? What else is up there? Pick it out for me," Snafu grins.

"Smells like you took a nap in seawater," Sledge says, "Or smoke."

"Get your long nose out of my hair then," Snafu quips.

"Once you get past the brine smell it's not so bad," Sledge mutters and doesn't move

"Yeah, well your shoulder smells like…" Snafu starts, and then cuts off when he realizes Eugene's shoulder doesn't smell like anything Snafu finds unpleasant. "Did you change your shirt?"

"Traded it for the saltines," Sledge explains, "The swabby wanted a souvenir that saw battle. I gave it to him. Stole this one off a supply crate."

"Fuck, Eugene, I thought you flirted your way into the galley," Snafu grumbles.

"Who says taking off my shirt wasn't a part of that?"

Snafu can't see it with his head on Sledge's shoulder but he swears Gene is smirking at him. "Should have just given him your pin," Snafu argues.

"Can't," Eugene replies, "Sid says they're good luck."

Snafu rolls his eyes at the mention of stupid Sid and settles back comfortably to sleep.

Eugene hooks a thumb in between Snafu's button holes in his shirt to keep his hand on Snafu's stomach. His fingertips barely brush Snafu's bare skin, and suddenly Snafu is no longer interested in sleeping.

And then Eugene's wandering fingers hit Snafu's shrapnel wound.

His response is immediate and a little shocking, "What the fuck, Snafu?" Without asking Eugene starts popping open all of Snafu's shirt buttons.

"What the hell, Sledge?" Snafu tries to back away from him.

"My father's a physician, let me look at you," Eugene orders. He manhandles Snafu's hips forward away from the wall to stretch him out on the deck. Snafu's thin wound runs from right beside his belly button to right over his hip. "Jesus, Snaf, that could turn infected."

Snafu is still trying to process the feel of Eugene's long hands gripping his hips, there is no room in his brain for worrying about infections right now.

"You're gonna need to lie down," Eugene tells him, "Here…" Sledge takes off his shirt and folds it up so Snafu doesn't have to rest his head on the floor.

"Thanks," Snafu says blankly.

"I thought it didn't hit you, you idiot?" Eugene asks.

"Naw, it hit me," Snafu smiles, "just didn't kill me."

"Wait here, I need a kit," Sledge gets up and walks off, leaving Snafu on his own.

Snaf uncomfortably folds his open shirt closed and crosses his arms over his chest self-consciously. He hopes no one will accidentally walk past this part of the ship while Snafu is stuck laying here like a patient. It takes far too long for Sledge to return.

When Eugene does finally return, he's holding a big medic kit that definitely is going to be missed somewhere.

"What'd you have to take off to get that?" Snafu asks, his voice mean, "Your pants?"

"I'll return it when I'm done," Sledge tells him in a no nonsense tone. He sets the kit down and flips it open. "I'll need to open the waist of your pants though, do you mind?"

Snafu looks to the sky to avoid Sledge's concerned gaze. "Don't care," Snafu says as nonchalantly as he is able. He wets his lips and squeezes his eyes shut.

Sledge gently uncrosses Snafu's arms and moves them to the side. When Sledge unbuttons Snafu's pants, Snafu takes a deep breath. His stomach constricts, and he knows his bones are poking out embarrassingly far. Sledge's hands are warm and surprisingly soft. Cleaning everything, and putting a tiny amount of stitches near Snafu's waistband area doesn't take Sledge long at all. Before Snafu even gets to fully enjoy the feeling of Eugene's fingers sliding over his most sensitive area, Eugene is already buttoning Snafu's pants back up and smoothing his shirt down. Snafu flicks the shirt back off, deciding if he's already indecent he might as well continue that way.

Snafu moves to sit up, but Sledge puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Stay down for a bit," Sledge says, "I want my shirt back though. Here." He scoots next to the wall at Snafu's head and then helps Snafu lean forward enough that Sledge can reclaim his stolen shirt. Sledge throws the shirt on and then scoots closer again, beckoning Snafu to lay back down.

Having his head in Sledge's lap is about a thousand times more distracting than Eugene touching his skin. There was a medical excuse for that. There's no goddamn excuse for this.

As if reading Snafu's mind, Sledge decides to up the ante and he runs his hand along the clean skin beside Snafu's wound. Sledge's hand continues up to Snafu's chest and then stops. Sledge picks at a brown spot of dried mud below Snafu's sternum till it pops off and he can flick it away onto the deck. He then massages away the sting and leaves his hand resting there.

Snafu daringly rests his own hand on top of Sledge's. He doesn't breathe even once till they're both settled and Eugene doesn't pull away.

"You need a shower, Snafu," Sledge comments.

"You gonna give me one?" Snafu lolls his head so he can see Sledge's face.

"Only way to do that now would be to toss you off the ship," Sledge says seriously.

"That a no?" Snafu guesses.

Sledge glances down at Snafu with his signature 'I know better than you, but I am also amused' expression, and then stares blankly out towards the sea. He sighs, "Sleep off the seasickness. I promise I won't snore."

Snafu silently watches Eugene's profile for a while before he finally closes his eyes.

Sledge keeps his promise. He doesn't fall asleep once during the entire time Snafu is out. Sledge does, however, eventually remove his hand from atop Snafu's chest and that wakes Snafu up instantly.

Snafu stays perfectly still, and tries to breathe as even as possible. He doesn't want Sledge to notice he's awake and kick Snafu out of his lap.

Snafu carefully peeks one eye open, and sees two hands hovering above his head holding a book and pencil.

"Writing again?" Snafu accuses.

"Hmmm," Sledge says.

"What about?" Snafu asks.

"You," Sledge responds.

Snafu smiles. He knows Sledge is just being obtuse and not actually writing about him, but still, "Tell me."

"No," Sledge refuses.

Snafu eyes Sledge's hands and attempts to determine how much force it would take for him to grab the book away.

"If you take this bible from me, I'll never let you sleep on me again," Sledge warns.

"What makes you think that's a threat?" Snafu teases. He sits up and tries to lean over to read Sledge's writing.

"Because you slept like a baby during your nap," Sledge says. He angles the book away from Snafu's prying eyes.

"Plenty of other guys in the company more comfortable than you to sleep on, Sledgehammer," Snafu says.

Sledge looks Snafu straight in the eye and dares him, "Then why don't you go find them?"

Snafu holds his gaze for a few breaths. And then wordlessly puts his head back in Eugene's lap.

Sledge calmly sets down his pencil and book, and threads his hand into Snafu's hair instead. "You know what I miss?" Sledge idly scratches Snafu's head as he talks, "Having an inexhaustible supply of blank paper."

"I still don't understand how you've managed to hold onto that one pencil nub for so long," Snafu comments. If talking means Sledge will massage his head, Snafu will do anything to carry this conversation.

"Writing in my bible is well and good, but nothing compares to a fresh blank sheet," Sledge states, "I can't believe that in school I used to tear pages up, or throw them away if I made even one typewriter mistake."

"We should find you a new pencil," Snafu continues his own train of thought, "Or maybe a couple."

"What a waste," Sledge sighs over his stupid crumpled typewriter pages.

"I bet the officers' tent in camp has pencils," Snafu muses.

"You need to borrow a pencil?" Sledge asks, "Sorry, I wasn't listening for a minute. Here, take mine." He hands Snafu the tiny nubby remains.

"Thanks, Sledgehammer," Snafu says and sticks the pencil behind his ear to remind himself later.

The first thing Snafu does on Pavuvu is go scrounging for paper. The constant stream of people coming in and out of the officer's tents makes it particularly easy to search. Snafu gets five pencils on only one run. He doesn't dare take the brand new stacks of paper. It would be too obviously missed. Instead he hunts through trash bins around the camp, and pulls out anything that looks clean and innocuous.

Snafu figures any important classified documents are being shredded or burned immediately anyway. No chance of him accidentally picking up something he shouldn't.

It takes a few days, but finally Snafu hits the jackpot. An entire stack of half used blank sheet notebooks. They're spiral bound, and the edges are dirty, and the covers don't look particularly pretty. But the pages inside are clean. Snafu takes his stack behind the mess tent and scrubs off some of the dirt stains.

A few of the notebooks are too gross to be salvageable. For these he carefully cleans his knife, and cuts out the crisp pages individually.

When he's finished he leaves his collection on Sledge's cot with the pencils resting on top of everything. Satisfied, Snafu takes a step back and surveys his work. Then realizes he can't let it look like he is doing Gene any favors. He sticks his hands out and musses the papers completely so the stacks are no longer neat and the pages aren't ordered by type. But he leaves the pencils on top. He doesn't want them to get lost or sat on.

At first Sledge doesn't say anything about Snafu's gift. The next time Snafu stops by the empty tent, the paper and notebooks are neatly stacked on a high shelf to keep it out of the way of crabs and vermin. It warms Snafu to see how organized the messy pile he left became. Even the pencils are safe and snug wrapped in a little handmade pouch.

Snafu takes the warm feeling with him to chow that evening.

"Did you wake up on the right side of the bed for once, Snaf?" Burgie asks.

Snafu brushes his comments off with a smile and sarcastic look.

Sledge looks up the minute he realizes Snafu is sitting down. "Hey," he says eloquently.

"Hey," Snafu says back. He sets his tray down and pulls out his cigarettes.

"I swear you smoke more than you eat," Sledge observes. He eyes Snafu's still mostly full and cooling plate of food.

"I only put things in my mouth if it's worth the bother," Snafu tells him, smirking.

"Are you saying warm mush isn't worth it?" Bill jokes as he polishes off his own bowl heartily.

Snafu laughs at Bill's graceless eating, till he realizes Eugene is staring. Not at Bill, but at Snafu. And looking very mournful for some reason. Unable to stand seeing Eugene looking that way, Snafu anxiously extends his hand to touch Sledge's knuckles, and then offers him a smoke.

"No thanks, Snafu," Sledge says, very unfriendly and possibly looking to start a fight, "I prefer to eat my meals."

"Has anyone gotten any letters from home yet?" Burgie changes the subject brightly.

Bill shakes his head.

"Nothing but my mother's usual package," Sledge says. He notices Snafu staring at him with quiet interest and adds with a sigh, "Yes, Snafu, I saved you your favorite jar."

Snafu smiles, "See, always worth it to wait." He grabs his unused spoon off the table and slips it into his pants for later.

"Sid still hasn't written to tell me if he made it home okay," Sledge says with a worried frown.

"I'm sure he did," Burgie says kindly.

"What about you, Burg?" Snafu interrupts, "You hear anything from Florence lately?"

"She's written, yes," Burgie says and turns as red as the canned beets Sledge's mother mailed last week.

Snafu whistles, Leyden begs Burgie to read any exciting bits aloud, and Sledge politely asks who Florence is.

"Burgie's girl he met in Australia after Gloucester," Snafu explains.

"I knew she liked me because she was the only girl not flocking around Snaf," Burgie jokes.

"Like flies to shit?" Bill snaps, "Snafu being the shit 'n ass."

"Don't think he slept in the stadium bunks with the rest of us even once," Jay laughs.

"I had more worthwhile places to go," Snafu says and eyes Sledge to gauge his reaction. He lazily takes a drag on his cigarette.

"Think we'll be given liberty in Australia again sometime?" Sledge asks. He holds Snafu's gaze steady.

"Don't care," Snafu shrugs.

"Unfortunately no," Burgie says, "I suspect we'll be run ragged till this war is over."

"At least she writes you," Bill interjects, "You'll just have to skip over thataway and pick her up before going home at the end of all this."

"Not sure how I'll manage that," Burgie takes a deep breath, "But it's true, I think she felt as strongly as I did. She expresses it well in her letters."

Bill whines that Burgie is holding out on his buddies by not divulging the content of said letters. He and Burgie get into a heated discussion that mostly consists of Bill begging and wallowing in self pity over not having any sweethearts.

Snafu and Eugene ignore them. Once Sledge finishes his meal, Snafu offers his cigarette again, and Sledge accepts. They pass it back and forth as they watch the sunset over the beach in the distance. Snafu wallows in every single touch of their fingers during each exchange.

"Speaking of mail," Sledge starts, "Snafu, did you leave paper on my bunk?"

"Why would I leave paper on your bunk?" Snafu scoffs.

"I thought maybe you were writing a letter and forgot it, or something?" Sledge asks, as though he isn't smart enough to put two and two together. No one accidentally leaves a jumble of notebooks lying around. Not when they're such a hard commodity to find.

Bill barks a laugh "Snafu writing? Can you imagine...that'd be the day."

"The only paper I ever concern myself with is asswipe," Snafu taunts. He dangles his cigarette out of his mouth and smirks at Leyden. Snafu throws one cautious glance over to Sledge and immediately regrets it.

Instead of being grateful, Sledge is annoyed. He snatches the cigarette straight out of Snafu's mouth. Sledge's fingers press into Snafu's lips briefly before he steals the smoke away, almost like a gentle punch. The unexpected touch and Sledge's deadly serious glare turns Snafu hot down to his toes.

Sledge finishes the cigarette in dead silence, and rather than stub it into the ashtray, he takes the nub and sticks it back between Snafu's lips. Sledge abruptly stands, grabs his tray, and stalks off without another word.

Leyden awkwardly coughs and gives Snafu a sympathetic look.

"Did you dump a bunch of papers on Eugene's bed?" Burgie asks Snafu for clarification.

"Fuck no," Snafu lies. They know he's lying. He grinds the cigarette into dust on the ashtray.

"Maybe I should have mentioned the Australian guys were buzzing around you, too," Jay suggests to Snafu, "Except there were less of them thanks to the war."

"Don't think that would've helped, Jay," Burgie says.

"Yeah?" Snafu says. He climbs over the mess hut wall and walks off.

#Sledgefu #Pining #Demisexual snafu #Bad germs

[floweryavenue]

Ugh, so, I don't even know if anyone is actually gonna read this, and I'm not really the one who would participate in fandom very actively (I was always a passive observer, liking other's people content), but the stuff with the leaks of the extra 8 pages of snk ending has been really bothering me for the last few days, and I really need to get a few things off my chest.

I really wanted to wait till 9th June to form my full thoughts. However, since basically all pages have leaked anyway and quite a reliable source confirmed there is basically no additional context to them whatsoever, I decided I might as well write this anyway and vent somewhere to clear my head so I can finally move on with my life to focus on other things I like and with other important irl stuff. Moreover, since Tumblr seems like a reasonably safe space to do so (comparing to one hell of a Twitter...) I might as well do it here. So, let's go.

So, basically, my main problem with those pages is simply that... you just don't do that. No. You don't release an ending, make people think it's really the end, then say you're gonna release a few additional pages that won't change anything but simply clarify some things, and then, two months later, release these pages indeed but not only they don't actually clarify anything, but in fact, create even more plot holes. Furthermore, as a cherry on top, they change the ending quite completely. If those pages had been included in the original release, most people, myself included, would've moved on by now. But noooo, make us go through this hell again. Great :))))

And as for the content of those pages, well... I can't help but feel they really did quite a disservice to Mikasa, one of my favourite female characters ever. My biggest problem isn't even that she 'moved on' (whatever that means at this point, coz I feel like fandom has been successfully managing to butcher that term ever since 139 has dropped) and started a family on her own because I'm fully aware that falling in love again after you first love died is an entirely normal thing irl. But ffs, we're not talking about irl here; we're talking about snk and Mikasa. And the thing that MAINLY bothers me, is the way it has been presented.

I'm not going to delve into the husband's possible identities, 1) I'm not interested at all in participating in any ship wars, 2) because we don't even get to see his face and sources say we indeed don't get any direct confirmation in that regard. Not that this matters anyway, because we get presented with Mikasa on the one hand staring her own family, but on the other, still continuing to visit Eren's grave repeatedly throughout her life and in the end, getting buried with a scarf on, her dearest remembrance of Eren, and maybe even getting buried next to him (even tho, the latter is still not 100% confirmed, bcs here sources are contradictory, but judging by the general mood of those pages, I'd not be surprised at all if it turns out to be the case).

That makes me think the whole family-stuff was used only to present the passage of time and the fact that Mikasa never fully got over Eren, bcs we don't see the family in any other context besides the visits to the grave. And that leads me to my other question - was introducing the family really NECESSARY, then? Couldn't Mikasa simply visit the grave with Armin, and maybe even with Armin, Annie and their kids? Idk about you, but that would make 100% more sense to me. Also, don't get me even started, how much in the wrong way it rubs me that Mikasa, the character who, as we know, always deeply cared about others, even strangers (Gabi, etc.), would just drag her husband, her children and grandchildren to the grave of her first love on which she had written 'my most beloved, my dear'? Do I really need to elaborate on how WEIRD that is?

But I guess that's on me for believing a male author would write a satisfactory conclusion to the main female character (not Mikasa touring around Hizuru, not Mikasa playing with kids at the orphanage, no! Forced family plot, instead! Take that!)

As of Eremika, aka my most cherished paring ever since 2014... I guess the only good thing in that mess is that at least it doesn't invalidate them. If anything, it validates them even more, because the stuff I've mentioned earlier prove their love was eternal and Mikasa never truly got over it. So, all in all, I'm gonna still cherish them forever. There are still many unexplored aspects of their bond, so I believe we, as a community, have a big room to explore (pls, I'm begging you, explore with me all the possibilities of their four years in the cottage in the mountains, I swear, that sh!t has so much potential it's unbelievable).

As of Paradis getting destroyed, well, that leaves me bitter, even though after doing some thinking, that really might be the least out of place thing in those pages. At least according to sources, it happens when Mikasa is already dead, so at least Eren's wish of giving his friends long, secure lives came true. However, that would be it.

And as of titan's power still being there and some kid apparently finding the source of it... this just screams 'sequel-baiting', AND I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT. That's it.

To end my definitely too long rambling, I just wanna say, I really would have liked to wait till 9th June to publish my thoughts, but as I've said, those last few days have been driving me crazy and I really wanted just to get all of it off my chest and move on. I want for now to just focus on my irl things, like working on my master's thesis and other stuff giving me joy, like Eurovision next week coming back after 2-years-absence due to pandemic. Eurovision is one of the few things that I love, and I intend on fully enjoying it next week, not sulking on those leaks too much. And if by some completely unexpected miracle I get pleasantly surprised on 9th June (even tho I truly doubt it at this point) - that would be only a win for me, I guess.

Anyway, please remember, all that I have written here is ONLY MY OPINION, and if you disagree with anything, that's valid, you're completely entitled to that. I'm not publishing this to argue with anybody, only to clear my head. That's it.

If anyone has read this too long personal rant of mine - thank you, I'm kissing you on the forehead right now. 

Oh, and remember - EREMIKA IS CANON. And always will be (no, that one is not up for discussion). 

Also, we have that official High School AU, and Eren right now is quietly snoozing on Mikasa's shoulder during another Twilight marathon she made him to take part in, and Armin and Annie are dissing people together on reddit while bonding over their pretentious taste in music. That's canon, Isayama told me after I had phoned him to ask wtf.

PS To think I was almost sure those extra pages will be about Mikasa's reunion with the rest of the alliance... I guess it's time to put that clown make up on. 

#personal #eremika #long post #aot spoilers #snk spoilers #aot leaks #snk leaks #aot 139 spoilers #snk 139 spoilers #attack on titan spoilers #shingeki no kyojin spoilers #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #tw // long post #cw // long post #vent #venting #mikasa #mikasa ackerman #rant #rambling

[dissonantdreamer]

What are your thoughts on the non sexualization on Dina and Ellie? We see them in their undies but then again Dina has firm muscle and you can see body hair. We never see anything really explicit on them (besides that one small Ellie scene) and I dig it. Compared to Abby where we actually see what goes on between her and Owen. We see her naked and Owen obviously participating in an intimate act. What do you think it says on how ND is treating both of them?

I’d love to know your thoughts!

As far as people asking me to do analysis goes I usually have to want to talk about the moment(s) (or piece of clothing) some asks are already things I’ve thought about. I’m not an authority on anything I explore by any means, but when I’m asked I try to give an honest response to the best of my ability. This topic alone has no right answer. These are just my thoughts after sitting with this ask for a week. I’m sure if you asked in a few months time I might have changed my views a little.

This was the first ask where I hadn’t given the topic much thought, and now that I’ve given it thought, it’s divided and multiplied into many thoughts that I have tried to make as clear as possible and still worry I have not done enough justice with. Which is why this answer took forever for me to think about so thanks for your patience, anon. Hope it’s kinda what you asked for still.

This being said, what I’m talking about is strictly related to the game, not shipping, not reality, the game. I’ve done my damndest to keep this a respectful exploration of two emotionally sensitive moments between adult characters and ask that if you’re going to interact with this post please do the same. If this is the kinda thing that makes you uncomfortable use your judgment. You’re probably not missing out on much.

I'm going to take a moment to define what I mean when I say sexualized v sexual.

Sexualized: individuals are regarded as sex objects and evaluated in terms of their physical characteristics and sexiness

Sexual: relating to the instincts, physiological processes, and activities connected with physical attraction or intimate physical contact between individuals

I will take a second moment to also say the sex means different things to different people and that definition can and probably will change over time for each individual. Sex and love are complicated some people separate sex from emotion to process and that is perfectly okay to. As long as you’re communicating with your partner(s) there is no right or wrong way to feel.

That all being said:

I’m absolutely stoked that Ellie and Dina aren’t sexualized, but beyond that I’m stoked that the world itself is grounded and developed a bit past where we are now in terms of sexualization, and while there are some remnants of our horrid society, (lookin’ at you Seth, David) the kids are growing up in a world where survival supersedes sexualization. That goes beyond the nonsexulazation of Dina and Ellie. Clearly sexuality exists and it’s fluid, but they aren’t growing up with the expectations that we have in place now. They have to grow up fast for an entirely different reason. 

This whole game shuns the standards that we have set today and says “yeah no, the thing we did before was dumb. You’re a dude who loves to teach? Dope you go teach the kids to read and count. You’re a bad bitch who can rip a clicker’s head from it’s body like a teddy bear, dope, go be on patrol.”  Maria runs Jackson, the patrol charts are filled with a clearly diverse group of men and women, the WLF has men and women working together to do laundry, cook, fight on the front lines. There was even a cut scene where Dina and Ellie are in the weed den making fun of the sexualization of women that is prevalent in our society via the porn Eugene has which would show further that the world they grew up in is so drastically different from our own.

In this world you bring value through skills, not looks. Everyone is good at something.

Now when it comes to “treating the characters” this part has far more to do with the story and less the world itself. Neil has said in many different ways that what is kept in is to help along Ellie and Abby’s journeys. We are shown what we need to be shown, to clue us into where these two women are in their journey. The point is that their stories are reflective of one another: Abby’s is one of redemption Ellie’s, of self destruction. We see Abby at her rock bottom in the beginning and her scene with Owen is the culmination of pushing everyone away in pursuit of revenge.

Now for this part I’m going to lead with Abby’s scene. Because I’m sure 92.613% of people who read this have watched the weed den scene more than the boat scene.

Abby grew up with Owen, he was there when her father died, he helped her through a lot. He’s an all right guy, not a paragon of healthy relationship material, but he loves her and there is comfort in staying with someone who has made you feel safe through the hardest parts of your life. Over her gameplay we get the sense Owen isn’t what she needs anymore and by staying with him she’s holding herself back.

This moment in the boat with Owen, narrative wise is Abby realizing she has hit bottom, Joel didn’t make her feel better, her relationship with Owen had ended because of her pursuit of Joel. She’s been stuck on the idea that she can go back to who she was before that final moment with Joel. In her dreams, her dad is still dead. Joel is dead, maybe she can try again to be that Abby again but she can’t shes not there emotionally anymore.

Owen coldly goads her into anger to feel something because Abby is putting distance between herself and him.  He bitterly quotes what she told him when she was seeking out Joel. She thinks of Mel, asks him what his plans are for the woman carrying his child, he wants to leave her, because he hasn’t let go of Abby. Owen is drunk, he should not be having sex. He can’t consent. The argument reaches a boiling point and they both fall back on the unhealthy idea that maybe one more go will solve something.

One thing that struck me as interesting was how the two scenes are presented, Abby and Owen face away from each other. Owen can barely keep his eyes open and the way the scene is shot, he is barely in focus. On the other side of the coin, Dina and Ellie face each other with a willing openness, they check in with each other constantly, and the build up to the moment is filmed so both women are in focus and on level ground with each other.

Abby and Owen had sex, but it never struck me as sexual nor did it strike me as sexualized much like Ellie and Dina.. Yes the act begins on screen, few people I’ve talked to saw what was on screen as anything other than uncomfortable.

To empathize with Abby we see her face in that moment of vulnerability, where she should be happy, there is a subtle expression that Laura pulls that *chefs kiss* shows in one second that Abby is not present in the act. There is a double blink followed by this look of internal clarity, that whatever she feels in that moment, it’s not what or who she is anymore and shes committed to letting it go. 

She falls asleep but now that nightmare is about those damn kids. Sleeping with Owen is not going to make this go away. The next morning she pushes him away farther because he wants it to continue and she had her moment of this is not who I am.

Even though we cut before the act, to me what Dina and Ellie do is far more sexual than what Owen and Abby go through, not sexualized, sexual. I say this because their behavior is not for us, it is between them and because this is a video game, we are along for the build up. How they act in the scene? That’s healthy representation with someone you trust when things are new. The air is charged between them, they’re flirty and they’re constantly using body language to check in with each other.The clearly want each other but we don’t need to see them get it on, this is their first time, we don’t need to see that, we can already see how much they already love and care for each other in the way they act. Let that moment be special and private.

Halley and Neil talk in interviews about narrative, seeing these two hit their “bottom” so we need to see Abby with Owen so we can see how far she’s grown by the end, this is a desperate grasp at the past the ends in a goodbye. We don’t need to see the act of Ellie and Dina we know it's passionate based on their actions, we don't need to see what they do. That's their hello. We see how close they are so we see what Ellie leaves behind it’s a representation of what she will ultimately give up and lose to keep her humanity.

I don’t think showing Abby and Owen together treats her as any less compared to not showing Ellie and Dina. Because of Abby’s scene we see what Owen meant to her, what she lost. Finding him and Mel becomes her Joel on the porch scene she can’t fix anything, she can’t fall back on him anymore. Abby has to move forward, she has to move forward because she has to be good for this kid she’s taking under her watch, he is her people and she has to be better for herself to do that.  If it wasn’t for Lev, she would have killed Dina, Ellie, and all the growth she made.

With Ellie because of her scene with Dina, to her character, we see the love she is leaving behind, that what she has dragged Dina into is born from someone who is losing themselves on every level. She hasn’t hit bottom yet and we all had to watch her fall further than we thought she would go. If it weren’t for this moment, we still wouldn’t be crying over her and Dina’s goodbye. We can now see that Ellie is rapidly approaching her bottom, but still doesn’t see it herself.  And thanks to the beach scene know that there is still a part of her that is capable of love and being loved. She can grow again. She can be redeemed. She will have to work for it. Find something to fight for and keep going forward.

Just like Abby.

#this ask really pushed me to view things i hadn't considered #so thanks for that anon #kind orbs with sick shades

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 5)

I'm back on my bullshit. I decided I'd post these, once a day, four days a week. Then I'll go on breaks for the weekend to let interested readers catch up while also further writing more entries. At the time I'm posting this, for example, I'm in the process of analyzing Chapter 39. That way, it's easier for everyone to enjoy this essay. Which I hope people do.

Anyway, this can finally truly be called a ship essay, because one of our key players has FINALLY developed feelings! Going forward, Natsume's behavior will heavily feature his growing affections for Mikan. We'll be analyzing Natsume's self-preserving hesitation as well as his immediate instinct to give up any chance he has from the get-go.

Chapter Seventeen

Natsume next shows up to walk into Class B during a commotion of Mikan’s retelling of the Reo incident. The kids all gather around him now too to ask questions and press about his condition. One kid even asks if he should teach Mikan a lesson for bragging about his rescue. Mikan smiles at him, under the assumption that their shared trauma has brought them closer and maybe even made them friends, but Natsume’s response is to simply turn away and ignore her.

He’s still Natsume after all. This is the first girl he’s ever liked, and she used to be somebody he despised, so the change in feelings is probably very strange to him. He’s confused and possibly embarrassed. He doesn’t know what to say or how to act.

Can't have her getting any ideas that he's completely changed his mind about her or anything.

Most of the people that Natsume likes at the school (although that is just Ruka and Youichi… so… you know) know that he likes them. He spends time with them, is gentle with them, does things for them, and can openly say kind things to and about them. Mikan is different. He used to be her number one enemy, so all of a sudden switching gears and becoming her friend would be quite odd.

Over time, Natsume will find ways to be gentle and sweet to Mikan, but for now his crush is brand new and he doesn’t know how to act quite yet. He’d rather avoid her entirely, or pretend like nothing happened, than openly approach his new feelings.

Furthermore his behavior is always and under all circumstances inseparable from his status as Persona’s favorite and as the Black Cat. He may have some loved ones, but he keeps the number low and tries to avoid getting close to people for a reason. Naturally, nobody could ever really understand his experiences so there will always be a divide between him and the rest of his peers, but even more than that is that considering people precious turns them into targets.

Natsume has probably learned the hard way that displaying closeness and affection for his friends can have dangerous effects, so he might now think of showing that kind of affection as selfish or even cruel. Why subject somebody to something like that, merely because he has feelings for them? It’s not fair.

In either case, it’s really not that Natsume is naturally mean and cold. He just doesn’t trust his situation enough to properly act. It’s safer in every way to just pretend like nothing changed. It’s too much to deal with otherwise. But sooner rather than later, the hard thing will be staying away. Eventually, maintaining coldness with her will be almost impossible.

Chapter Eighteen

This chapter further touches on Natsume’s new-found crush and its consequences.

Class B is used to being in an environment where Natsume hates Mikan and is bothered by everything she does. He gives in to her slightly, in small ways, and it shocks his classmates. Now, it’s understandable that, even if he hadn’t developed a crush on her, he might still be softer to a girl who risked her life to save him, but it’s still odd.

Mikan recalls asking Natsume for help training her alice. She needs an offensive alice to nullify, so Iinchou or Hotaru’s would be ineffectual in training. Natsume is really the best person to ask, and, to everyone’s surprise, he actually agrees to help.

Natsume doesn't need any convincing to help her, but what did she think practicing with a fire alice would entail?

And yes it does seem like he’s only doing it to torture her, because his alice is capable of genuine bodily harm and his admirers snicker with amusement at his antics, but I can’t help but assume there’s more to it.

He doesn’t really hesitate to help. He doesn’t need convincing at all. In some ways I think he did genuinely want to help. Her alice helped save his life, after all. Why not repay the favor by using his alice to help her train? To him, there's a lot of value in her alice, so training it is beneficial in his perspective as well.

And later still, Mikan spots Natsume sitting amongst the principal students. He stands out, as an elementary student next to upperclassmen. This moment is a good introduction to the arc. His crush on Mikan only grows stronger as the festival goes on, but there’s something looming over him too--he’s different from the rest of them. He stands out so much during the festival. He’s a dangerous ability type who’s not allowed to participate while also being a principal who has to sit on the stage for the opening ceremony. That's horribly ironic, but also shows just how singled out and under the spotlight he is. It’s a huge part of why he acts the way he does, so cold and mean and distant despite his growing affections. It’s all he can do.

He may see potential for a future, but he’d be foolish to think he should be able to acquire it, because his current circumstances have not changed at all.

The chapter ends with Natsume being asked by Koko if he wants to try out the special ability class event. He’s looking towards the special ability area, and we can tell the next chapter will be fun.

Chapter Nineteen

And how!

Natsume is here to see Ruka, his best friend, but he’s also here to catch a glimpse of the girl he has a crush on.

Sumire is also there, and it’s interesting to see that Natsume hasn’t changed in his attitude around her either, even though she also helped save him. She tries to embrace him and he dodges her.

This catches some people’s attention and they start to whisper about his presence.

In the anime, this moment is a bit more potent, hearing the murmurs and seeing a darkness over the gossiping kids, but the manga still establishes that the people waiting in line are by-and-large unhappy to see him. They whisper amongst themselves, rudely asking why he’d bother to come here, but that gloom only lasts for a moment (one singular panel and then Natsume’s responding bitterness) before Mikan appears jumping over the wall, calling his name and even smiling.

It’s almost like she was waiting for him to show up, running off from her post the second she heard Natsume was there. The dark looming screentones are replaced with flowery ones, and it’s hard not to think of this as his perspective: all is gloomy and then there is Mikan. All of a sudden, after hating her for so long, he thinks of her as bright sunshine, and he must have showed up just to see her and feel nice for a change.

It's Natsume seeing Mikan through floral-filter lenses for me...

Of course, he ruins the mood. It feels almost as if he does it solely because he knows it will upset her. She was so excited to see him, and he manages to completely turn her mood from eager to angry, just the opposite of how she was able to unwittingly turn his mood from gloomy to... as close to content as he can get.

He’s okay now. He doesn’t want her getting any ideas.

Now, in my opinion, his method of bothering her could be anything and the plot would remain the same. What matters is that he wants to piss her off, and this just so happens to be the way he does it, partially because it’s intended to be funny. Mikan has to get angry at him for this chapter to progress the way it does, but his actions could have been replaced by any other irritating action and it could’ve gone the same way.

Tsubasa then appears, drawn to the sound of a loud commotion. He sees Natsume and vaguely wonders why he’s there. Everyone knows Natsume, at all grade levels, because he’s famous. For Tsubasa, whose only real knowledge of Mikan’s relationship with the kid is that he causes trouble in Class B, it would be strange to see him at the RPG.

Natsume, meanwhile, has no idea who Tsubasa is. Seeing Mikan crawl all over her senpai, seeing him easily comfort her, is something that bugs Natsume. He glares at Tsubasa, somebody whose name he doesn’t even know, and then starts leaving with Ruka.

At first, Tsubasa is confused to be treated like this, until he hugs Mikan tighter and sees both Natsume and Ruka turn in jealousy. Tsubasa gets it immediately. Thus begins a strange and tumultuous frenemy relationship between Tsubasa and Natsume, where they both begrudgingly understand each other while also irritating each other beyond belief.

Natsume is not interested in playing the game, insulting it and wondering how anyone could get hooked on it. Ultimately, it’s not even Mikan who convinces him to give it a shot; it’s Tsubasa taunting him, “then you should be able to win, no problem, right?”

Tsubasa will come to regret saying this, because the answer is yes.

The RPG is designed to be tough. Nobody has won the whole game yet. Beating one or two students is one thing, but being able to outsmart or outmaneuver the entire special ability class is a difficult feat.

Natsume agrees to play, and gets a robot cockroach as a weapon.

Tsubasa is hugging Mikan as Natsume is about to enter, and that pisses him off even more. He decides that Tsubasa will be his slave, his motive being get your hands off her. This is silly considering that just a short time ago, Natsume hated Mikan. His feelings really did a 180.

The challenges pick up in difficulty as he goes on. The first one is effortless. He doesn’t even move from where he’s standing. The mirror-alice girl just freaks out about the cockroach and sends him on his way after two seconds.

The next one is trickier, and Natsume will need to put in more effort than just standing and waiting for the cockroach to do its job. But not that much effort. He sits next to Megane, lights a fire, and waits. It’s a scorching flame, and although Megane tries to tough it out, he gives in with two seconds to spare. Natsume, a smartass, quips sarcastically that he’s sorry--he really can’t tell how hot it is. (This is not actually important or anything, it’s just interesting that Natsume is not affected by his own flames and can’t feel the heat of them. I might end up referring to this a couple times.)

With the exception of the first and last challenges, Natsume uses his alice to beat the maze; either by heating Megane up so his soul goes back into his body, or by writing with fire instead of chalk. The next challenge is the one Natsume has been waiting for and he’ll use his alice here too.

Tsubasa is shocked to find Natsume has progressed so quickly, but he proceeds with the challenge: Natsume has to touch him in thirty seconds, but it’ll be tricky ‘cause he’s held in place by his shadows. He toys with Natsume’s shadows a bit, which really pisses Natsume off. Tsubasa even apologizes nervously, even though he’s the one in control. Or he is, until Natsume uses his alice again and gets rid of the shadows.

Natsume’s anger towards Tsubasa all stems from jealousy. It’s not just that Tsubasa was hugging and comforting Mikan, it’s that he can. Natsume needs to distance himself from Mikan in order to keep her safe, and he’s aware of that right from the start, but there’s more to it. He’s busy establishing himself as an enemy to Mikan, doing things to bother her to make her angry with him, but nobody rushes to their bully for comfort, and Natsume knows this. It’s not just that Tsubasa was hugging Mikan; it’s that he feels like he will never get the chance.

And so the next and final challenge is where he gets to be selfish.

Mikan is aggravated to see him, obviously not thrilled that he was able to make it in such a short time. Her task is that he has to get her off the carpet in thirty seconds. He can’t hurt her or force her off the carpet, and because of their alice training together, he can’t use his alice on her either. (They’d apparently practiced so much that she was able to sharpen her skills significantly. Before, her alice was a wildcard and she struggled with using it, but now she’s able to use it with relative ease. That’s a lot of training in a short time, and I’m sure Natsume wasn’t upset at all the time they had to spend together as a result.)

Natsume must feel relief regarding Mikan's nullification alice. She's nullified his alice in pretty big ways already, one time to save his life. The girl he's crushing on is capable of turning off the thing that decreases his lifespan. She really is a breath of fresh air, in more ways than one, and his appreciation for her alice, even if he doesn't voice it, will only grow. This is important, but I'll talk way more about this in the other POV.

He tries the cockroach, but she’s a country girl and unaffected.

Natsume is genuinely stumped by her challenge, admitting to himself that it’s a tough one. He then comes up with a risky idea, no doubt influenced by her rescue of him when they were kidnapped by Reo. He plays sick. This act only works if Mikan falls for it and is concerned enough to jump off the carpet, but he’s a good actor on account of all the sick experience he has and she does fall for it in no time. Her being concerned was a given.

She jumps off, meaning he’s won the game, but that’s not enough of a victory for him. He acts sick until she’s closer, so he can grab her and put his arm around her. Yes, he calls her an idiot, but this is the closest he can get to a hug… for now. It doesn’t matter that she’s annoyed and dismayed that he won. All he cares about is that he got to touch her.

She jumped down. He won already, but it's not enough! (Also sorry about two pictures. If it ruins the format, oh well.)

Natsume was jealous that Tsubasa got to do something he thinks he'll never be able to, and so he got a taste of what he wanted some other, convoluted way. He gets angry that Tsubasa is so touchy, but that's only because he wishes he could be touchy too. Natsume will get bolder and bolder with his physical affection, because he will want more and more to show it. When he starts being honest about this affection, she will be more eager to return it.

Natsume is the first winner, and Tsubasa admits it was never expected for somebody to be able to pass all the challenges. Part of the appeal is that it’s an unbeatable game, but Natsume’s feelings of jealousy and spite were enough to get him over the finish line. Though perhaps knowing it's beatable but only one person could is also appealing. It's possible to pass, but very rare for somebody to be able to, so they can draw in crowds by capitalizing on kids who want to the next person to beat the game.

He gets to choose a lamp, but he has no idea which one is whose. He cheats by asking Koko to tell him which one is the right one, but he ends up picking Mikan’s, because Koko assumed that’s the one he wanted. After all--Natsume was thinking about her. Natsume is lucky that Mikan was too anguished at being a slave to care about Natsume thinking about her, but it’s interesting to know that even when he’s supposed to be angry at Tsubasa, he was only thinking of Mikan.

Chapter Twenty

This chapter’s premise is pretty simple and light: Natsume can’t think of any use for Mikan other than to follow him and Ruka around the festival and carry their stuff. They navigate the technical ability class area and even encounter Hotaru, though only for a short time because she’s quite busy.

Most importantly, their time in the technical area makes Mikan insecure. Everyone in the tech class seems to know what they want to do with their lives, with their alices being perfect for research or creation. I’ll go into more detail with this during Mikan’s essay, but it’s important to note that Mikan asks the people around her if they’re prepared for their future only to see that they all are. Hotaru, Sumire, and even Ruka all have dreams for the future, even if Ruka won’t share his. Natsume has decided to leave the conversation and we don’t hear what his dream is, which makes sense because he doesn’t have one. Natsume doesn’t think he’ll live long enough to graduate, so why even bother wasting his own time and getting his hopes up for something unattainable?

It’s then revealed that Ruka is also a triple, and Mikan can’t tell, but the mood has been soured for Ruka. His triple-star status is a touchy subject that he’s unhappy with. His star rank is representative of Natsume’s suffering and he doesn’t like talking about it. He only says that he didn’t mention it because he didn’t get it on his own talent or effort before Natsume forces Mikan to walk in another direction, claiming to be hungry.

This is literally just a scan of the TokyoPop version, which is better than the other version I see floating around.

He can tell Ruka is uncomfortable and is ready to step in so that his friend can feel better.

As a result, they end up at the cafe where Anna is working (after all, Mikan has been perfecting her puppy-dog eyes routine and I think both Ruka and Natsume are affected, even if the latter would never admit it).

Natsume takes the first bite of Anna’s hell pie, just to see a rot demon (or whatever that thing is) taunt him about the trouble his stomach will be in soon. He really doesn’t have a choice but to throw the tea over the pie. Ruka is grateful, but Mikan is outraged at how rude Natsume is acting, and even angrier when Natsume explains that the pie was horrible. She demands he apologize but Natsume simply walks away, content to be the bad guy because he saved his friends from getting food poisoning while also sparing Anna’s feelings and reputation at her cafe.

"Your stomach will writhe" is such a potent threat. I feel sick just looking at that demon/scoundrel/rot thing.

This scene has more substance than in the anime. In the episode, Natsume sees the rotten scoundrel (or WHATEVER IT IS) before he can take a bite. He tosses the tea for all their sakes and ultimately nobody is hurt. But here, in the manga, Natsume has already taken a bite. We see the missing part of the pie, the residue on the fork. Natsume is already screwed. He's going to have food poisoning from Anna's pie, and he still puts her feelings before his own. He'd rather say that the pie is terrible according to his own tastes than to let everyone around know that she made such a health-risking mistake. He drenches the pie so that Mikan and Ruka don't get food poisoning, even if it's too late for him. Natsume leaves, knowing he will look like an asshole, AND with stomach problems on top of that, but at least he's the only one who will be seriously hurt.

This is a pretty insignificant example of a trait that we have seen before with Natsume but haven't really fully explored. It's going to play a major role for the rest of the manga, because Natsume has something of a martyr complex, where he is quick to sacrifice himself because he sees little to no value in his own happiness. This is a small example, and I'm not saying it's not kind of him, but there are consequences with his line of thinking. He's fine with looking like an asshole to protect people, or giving up things he wants so someone else can have it, or blowing himself up so two girls can escape safely. Whenever there's a chance to sacrifice himself, Natsume will take it every single time.

This may seem noble or romantic or admirable but it's not healthy at all. The way he was raised (no shade to Papa Hyuuga and Kaoru but also.... tentatively side-eyeing them for putting so much responsibility on him) and the way he is now tortured by the school has put him in a position where his self esteem is horribly low. This complex of his results in suicidal tendencies, even after he falls in love with Mikan (and even exacerbated by that love). For Natsume, love is sacrifice. He simply cannot love without feeling like he has to give something up. Ideally, he would grow out of this and maybe start seriously choosing himself sometimes. It's not evil to want yourself to be happy and to choose your own well-being, even if it occasionally makes others sad or upset.

In the context of the actual story though, we have yet another glimpse of a complex that will cause a LOT of trouble down the road for Natsume and Mikan.

Conclusion

Natsume has new feelings for Mikan and is having trouble navigating them. They will cause even more trouble in the next essay. We also touched more on Natsume's self-sacrificing tendencies and how devastating they will turn out to be. These tendencies will be consistent and persistent throughout the manga in regards to NatsuMikan's relationship, and cause more problems. These problems will pop up a bit in the next part, so stay tuned!

Also, small note: I call him Ruka and not Luca because I got used to it after watching the anime and through scans and fanfics. I heard his name pronounced that way and at first thought it was a Japanese name so I simply copied the pronunciation. When I found out it was supposed to be Luca, I'd already been using Ruka for a while. I don't really want to switch to using Luca most of the time because I know people in real life named Luca/Luka and I talk enough about GA on the daily where it might feel strange to me. I use Luca sometimes when I'm talking to others who prefer it, but Ruka is what I'm used to. I hope this isn't frustrating, but understand that I pronounce Killua's name (from HxH) like "Ki-ru-a" as well and in my head "Gakuen Alice" is pronounced "Gakuen Arisu" because I pronounce things based on what I hear when watching the anime ;-; These are things I have no real desire to change because they sound right to me. I'm sorry. (Nobody has said anything or complained, and this is not a vague or anything like that! I just wanted to say that I know it's supposed to be Luca and it's not my intention to be disrespectful when I pronounce/spell it Ruka. I am fucking crazy, but I am free.)

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#gakuen alice #alice academy #hyuuga natsume #natsume hyuuga #natsumikan #sakura mikan #mikan sakura #my meta #ga #mine #ga meta #ga meta: nm #ga meta: manga #ga meta: manga nm #let's talk about natsumikan #let's talk about natsumikan: natsume #because of how jam-packed the alice festival is with nm content this might take two more parts to complete #stay patient with me please i am trying my best ;-; #i couldnt go into the haunted house knowing id only have two pics to work with. it would kill me. #theres just too much #the ten image limit is genuinely such an obstacle so if u wish there was more then blame tumblr and maybe theyll raise the limit to fifteen #they wont. tumblr is a disgusting landfill of a website. #edit for song: stupid by brendan maclean #theres some jealousy and tsundere behavior. love that for early love natsume