#finally something with some dialogue

[orbmanson7]

@intrulogical sent me a Logan Angst prompt!

logan crying in a video whilst offering a solution to something and thomas going "stop crying"

I'm still taking Logan Angst prompts from any word or phrase sent to my ask box!

--

Asking for clarification had become almost habit for him by now.

"Ah, so you didn't mean that literally then?" Logan steadied his expression after the realization struck him. "I suppose this is why clarification is so useful in these discussions."

"There's nothing to clarify, Specs!" Roman threw his hands up dramatically. "It's not like we were trying to trick you!"

Logan blinked at that response. He hadn't thought they were trying to deceive him with their words, no, but it's not as though they had meant what they said, either. Hence the need for clarification.

He nodded towards Roman, replying,

"I understand that, but--"

"Do you?" Roman instantly cut him off. "Because it seems like it takes a million times for us to explain something to you before you actually get it!"

Oh. So he was bothered by Logan's repeated desire for clarification. The quantity was the issue.

"I believe I understand your concern. While some subjects may take extra consideration, I can assure you, I am trying my best."

"Are you?"

Thomas stared back at him with an unreadable expression. Was it unreadable to everyone else, too, or just him?

"Wh..." He was so shocked to hear Thomas outright doubt him like that, he couldn't even formulate the question he wanted to ask. He tried not to let it show, straightening his stance.

Thomas needed his trust, his confidence.

"Of course I am," he told him.

He just needed to be confident. He didn't need to bring more doubt to the topic at hand, after all.

"Princey kind of has a point, though," Thomas only frowned at him. "We've talked about this before, but you never seem to get it. Aren't you supposed to be the smart one?"

"Well, yes, of course," Logan replied as quickly as possible, trying not to sputter over how badly his attempt had just failed. "But it's not as though I have limitless knowledge--"

"Aren't you his language center or whatever it's called?" Virgil piped up. "Isn't this supposed to be your thing?"

"I operate his recognition and use of language, yes," he answered truthfully, "but understanding more than the contextual meaning behind a phrase via facial expression or body language or tone of voice doesn't typically fall to my expertise--"

"Then why are you even doing it?"

"Wh... It... Because it's my job."

He'd never had anyone ask him such a question before, and he wasn't sure there was a better way to answer it.

"And yet," Roman butted in, "you need us to explain what we mean forty times every episode for you to understand? If it's your job, shouldn't you already know how to do that?" He grumbled, crossing his arms. "It's not like I have to relearn how to write every time I have an idea, you know. I already know how to do it. So what's your problem?"

Logan stared. He...wasn't sure there was an adequate answer to that, either. Surely, there was a legitimate reason why pragmatic errors frequented his discussions with others, but if it really was his role to handle that on Thomas' behalf, why was he continuously struggling with it? Why had he not learned about it, held onto that knowledge, and then applied it when the situation arose, just as he had with near everything else?

Why was this different, especially when it so heavily affected his purpose to Thomas?

What was his problem?

Roman laughed.

"What? Cat got your tongue now?"

"...no?" Logan raised an eyebrow, confused. "I still have my tongue and there is no cat to--"

"Logan, seriously, just stop." Thomas held up a hand to stop him. He wasn't even looking at Logan as he spoke. "You're the one always lecturing us about learning stuff but then you don't even understand half of what we're saying unless we spell it out for you!"

Logan bit his lip, willing himself to understand.

"I don't think you'd need to spell anything out, Thomas. I simply ask that you clarify the meaning of--"

"For the love of God, Logan, this is exactly what we're talking about!" Thomas shouted, finally turning to look directly at him.

Logan paused. So this was more of the same, then.

"Ah."

It wasn't just that he was asking too often, it was the matter of his asking at all.

Roman rolled his eyes.

"Boy, and you call me stupid."

"I don't believe I've called you that," Logan responded calmly, then adding, "Today."

Even if it was harsh, at least when he had said that, he meant what he said.

After all, why would someone say something they didn't mean? Wouldn't they want to be understood? To be able to communicate effectively?

When he spoke, he wanted to not only be heard but for others to know what he was trying to convey. Using hidden context served little purpose, and only proved to create massive communication issues like this one.

Logan absently fiddled with the end of his tie.

The others were all looking at him disapprovingly.

He swallowed, but something in his throat felt tight, obstructed. His eyes seemed less focused, slightly blurring around the edges.

He tried to take a proper breath, but it came in shuddering and came back out shaky.

None of these were good signs, at least as far as seeming professional goes.

"Perhaps I have asked for clarification far too often for your liking." Logan paused, expecting to be cut off yet again. When the others didn't respond, he continued, "I merely wish to make sure we're communicating properly, that I'm not misunderstanding your--"

"We shouldn't have to explain it every time!"

And there it was.

Roman and Thomas both began yelling a number of things, but Logan just waited.

Everything they were saying... They were right. Something was definitely wrong here. Logan shouldn't be continuing to struggle if they've all done their part to explain their intention so many times. Why was he still in need of clarification, of assistance? Why hadn't he resolved this on his own already?

He would have to keep trying.

As it quieted down, he turned to Thomas, attempting to hold his gaze without trepidation.

"I... I'll keep trying, then."

"What, so you weren't trying before?" Thomas was so immediately outraged. "How long are we going to have to put up with this?"

"Logan, maybe you just need to try a different way of figuring it out." Patton offered, hands up, placating. "We all know you get stuck in your ways, so maybe just try it our way this time, yeah?"

But doing just that hadn't ended well at all last time. He couldn't have been the only one who remembered that, right? Last time, he was only left confused and ultimately misunderstood by the others when he tried it 'their way'. That couldn't possibly be the solution. No, there had to be something else.

"Well," Logan tried, "I don't know if that would--"

"He's right!" Roman cut in, sounding angry. "You don't even want to get it, do you? Is this an attention thing again??"

Roman moved his arms around in ways that failed to make sense to Logan at all.

"Oh no, Logan needs even more attention now so he has to pretend to be stupid to get even more camera time!"

Logan was completely confused at such a comment. That didn't seem like a fair judge of his conduct at all.

He grimaced,

"I... I would never pretend to--"

"L, it's fine if you're just doing it so you get to talk more," Virgil told him, leaning back casually on the staircase. "I get it, man, but this isn't the way, you know?"

Logan did not 'get it' like Virgil apparently did. Why would someone pretend to not understand something? Why not just be sincere, clarify their confusion so they can get the help they need? What purpose would it serve to lie about it?

"I just..." He wasn't sure how to explain to them that he wasn't pretending without knowing why they thought he was. "That's not... I wouldn't do that--"

"Oh, please." Roman scoffed.

Thomas sighed, putting his face in his hands.

"Logan, the excuses aren't helping, either."

He hadn't meant to bother Thomas with all of this. He was at a loss on what he could do to fix this mess, one he had apparently started all on his own.

He swallowed again, feeling heat begin to rise behind his eyes.

"A-apologies."

Thomas shoved his hands down at his sides. Logan may not have been the best with body language but he could certainly tell his choice to apologize had been the wrong one to make.

Thomas glared at him, something Logan realized he had started to see more often lately. Logan flinched without meaning to, and he couldn't even begin to understand the shiver that had gone through him or what it could possibly mean. His vision blurred.

He could just make out Thomas' expression as it twisted at Logan's knee-jerk reaction, and he suddenly shouted at Logan,

"Ugh, stop crying! Just do better!"

He really hadn't meant to have any overt reaction, but he'd been quite unprepared for this turn of events.

Where had they come up with the idea that he would lie about this? Was this his fault to begin with, for not putting in enough effort to understand, to learn, to improve?

Clearly they had a better understanding than he did, so perhaps they were right. Maybe he was capable of understanding and was simply choosing not to properly learn how to discern the difference in someone's words with how they speak them.

He reached up, removed his glasses, and wiped a palm across his eye, trying to stop the tears that kept flowing. He wasn't entirely sure when he had started crying, either, but now it didn't seem to want to stop.

Thomas was right. Logan had to do better. It was past time he did his job the right way by now, and in the way Thomas wanted above all else.

He put his glasses back on and turned to Thomas, ignoring the last tear escaping down his cheek as he spoke.

"I'll try."

#logan angst #logan sanders #fanfiction #finally something with some dialogue #ooh boy i swear this isn't unsympathetic sides and thomas even if it seems like it #this is genuinely just a very bad reaction to Logan's difficulty with pragmatics #stuff like hyperbole innuendo metaphors irony and sarcasm all change how youre meant to interpret language #so of course logan can understand whats being said but when you change how you say it then it becomes harder for him to understand #when you dont say what you mean you know? #anyway yeah angst fun enjoy #sanders sides #long post #orbs speech bubbles #oh! and i was listening to I'll Try from Peter Pan 2 Return to Neverland when i wrote this #go listen to that and tell me thats not a logan angst song yeah?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

"See you tomorrow"

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]

#better drawn mdzs #MDZS Disco Elysium AU #mdzs au #Lan wangji #wei wuxian #yiling laozu #Happy Belated Halloween! #digital art #Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone. #I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen. #Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture. #Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now #Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen. #The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers. #My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene. #The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined. #It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change - #You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time #You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts- #You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember. #WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.

[lunarharp]

shirahama-sensei reminded me she has a thing for the teacher from pokemon s/v so i randomly went off on an au where qifrey is the professor. etc

#witch hat tag #orufrey #the first image is qifrey dressed as that guy. i'm glad she has an inexplicable attachment to some dorky pokemon man like i do #someone was like 'wouldn't it make more sense for deanreldea to be the champion' .... well no. not in my world . #it maps onto magic skill. champions aren't like the Rulers of the land they're just the most skilled at this thing #oru as a burnt out champion who's gently encouraging a kid like coco to reach him one day means a lot to me. i like pokemon narratives #agott went shiny hunting for the same thing coco had but cooler - just to impress her. she really is a pokemon rival type girl #pushing myself to the limit to prove my worth to you - to get to the summit first so i'm waiting for you.. #and then realising it wasn't just to be strong - i realised i started wanting to see your smile. i wanted you to have fun. #i think coco would defeat agott at the end of victory road and then defeat oru & i'll probably draw one last thing abt that at least.. #the image is very cinematic..the dialogue and music in my mind..I WANT TO FACE ORU!!!!!!!!!! #the super cool insanely powerful awesome champion is the spouse of my professor and he gave me advice at the beginning...no way.... #btw the elite four would be the sages which is perfect (and maybe easthies as the first guy?) evil Team Brimhats #coustas as their renegade gladion-type figure. the gym leaders would be like sun/moon and s/v combined #travelling around facing the best students from different classes - so jujy and eunie etc. #i've barely thought about 'teams' or anything bc i care amore about the narrative side of things always lol #but idk. tetia with a swirlix - eunie would be ghost type boy - riche with small things but also a ceruledge or a steelix something massiv #and brushbug would have a final form which is really long like an eastern dragon- fluffy and with wings like a fairy. It's beautiful to me #well anyway *tries to move on to the rest of life now the brief obsession has passed* #obviously oru would be fire-type tho and qifrey would be water-type and they set off together and traded their starters etc.....it goes on

[deku-verde]

“Is This A Date?” Part 2

(part 1)

the end~

#bakudeku #bkdk #mha #my art #holy shit this one took me so long to get out #i kept rewriting the script at first #and then i finally settled on something i liked #and then i drew all of the roughs #and then i changed the script again #so i redrew some of the panels #and then i did the finished lines #and then i rewrote the script #and then i wanted to post it this morning after i woke up #but then i rewrote more of the dialogue #it has been #a ~process~ #i just had a lot i wanted them to say but also i didnt want this to be 20 pages long #it was originally supposed to be 5 not 10 #but clearly i got carried away oops #anyways hopefully back to regularly scheduled posting for a while #hello if youre reading this youre lovely

[bleue-flora]

Mmm… snippet of future Musical Chairs?

“Thinking about him hurts like a kick to the gut. He hasn’t seen Sapnap since he… died. Since he drowned in poisoned blood. Since he limped through the snow, a bloodied trail behind him, knowing the way and yet feeling utterly lost, wondering if he’ll ever forget the cold look in Sapnap’s eyes and the apathetic greed of his voice when he too asked about the book right before swinging a sharp sword (his sword!) into his flesh just like his fiancé had so many times before. If he’ll ever lose the frost freezing his heart as Sapnap, his friend, his brother stood there in the last possession to his name, denying Dream that small mercy of having what is his. If he’ll ever forget the sound of Sapnap’s disbelieving words as he questioned if the torture really happened as if it wasn’t clear as day from his appearance. As if he wasn’t leaning to one side, standing on a knee bent in the wrong direction. As if a vast spread of scars didn’t sprinkle across the patches of his exposed skin. As if his once dirty blonde hair wasn’t crusted in layers of blood. As if his words meant nothing, weren’t worth enough to even consider. As if he didn’t lie the last time they spoke saw eachother about coming back to visit him.”

#ah and this is what I write as Sam works on removing my will to live… freaking Sapnap… #in other words if life was nice to me I’d finally be able to write the fluff I have planned for good cop bad cop but until then…. aaaannngst #c!dream #dsmp #dreblr #mmm more musical chairs… referring to of course when Sapnap killed him… brutal… #I’d post the next chapter but I’m not happy with the dialogue…. Sam is the utter worst and I hate writing him so much… #so I guess enjoy this for the moment until I stop falling asleep which editing chapter 3 🤦‍♀️… #musical chairs #crows nest #dsmp fanfic #happy angst month #don’t judge too hard it’s my first draft literally written a handful of minutes ago #dream smp #c!dream and c!sapnap #dsmpblr #c!sapnap #dream fanfic #fanfic snack #sigh ​why is it so much to ask for some nice peace and quiet to sleep…. :’( #and for something to work properly like it should…

[dykeinthedark]

being a pretentious fuck is embarassing sometimes. bc if someone asks me what video games i play im like "yeah i only play story based indie games about depression and guilt" like omfg shut UP

#i should play a game involving shooting or cars #having a great taste in story based indie games is so hard actually. im so sexy and everyone wants me #i do think a lot of it is my pretentious english double major tendencies like a lot of these games ARE just literature u can interact with #something like omori is actually such a well written narrative like some of the lines and scenes execution scenes still get me #LIKE THE THEMES AND MOTIFS GOT TO ME #also undertale is kinda ugly. but god is the writing so tight... asriel boss battle literally is my favorite final boss in any game IDC!!!! #like i rly think undertale is so brilliant bc the visuals aren't SPECTACULAR and that's not temmie's fault that's toby's for rejecting #the good designs because they'd be 'too good' but so many hard hitting scenes are just. dialogue. and descriptions. and music. #it's actually insane how well written it is that you don't see anything happening but someone talks about it and you cry #rn im playing isat... deserves a place on this list #im also playing mother 3 which is suprirsingly like... the most radical game i've played? i mean that it's genuinely anticapitalist? #love to see communist propaganda and drag queens in video games

[cloudbends]

Also I can't believe I'm saying this about a persona 5 spinoff but p5t is actually... Surprisingly good? The character dynamics within the phantom thieves are much more fleshed out (which is something I always took issue with in the original game), the character screentime is a lot more balanced and mostly no flanderisation (aka yusuke gets to Do Things for once, makoto gets to Not Do Everything thank god, morgana is the most likeable he's ever been to me), the new characters are incredibly fun and executed very well especially for spinoff-only characters, the plot concepts are interesting, the sprites are very fun and expressive, like. idk I just didn't expect it to make up for some of my issues with the main game tbh!! a pleasant surprise for sure

#vi rambling #persona #I HAVENT PLAYED just watched a full playthrough but like. it took me by surprise #spoilers here: #ernesto's design is one of the better persona designs in recent games? giving p2 persona design vibes mixed w some p3 which is ALWAYS a win #toshiro and erina are GREAT. having a persona based on a human is like. something they havent done since p1 which im so down for. #in general their characters are great and not what i expected. i was scared of it being regressive but not at all #toshiro gets flamed constantly and the nuances of his faults are very clear and handled well!! #and well i always enjoy a soppy pathetic suited loser who learns to be self confident. #and they did the smart thing of giving all the thieves a spotlight by having each relate to the different episodes in toshiro's life which #is SO smart thank god. futaba got so much time here!! HARU!!! YUSUKE!!! RYUJI!!! #idk i just was scared of the dynamics being watered down and i arguably honestly got a lot more here than in the original game. #also morgana finally feels like his own character and not an mc voice replacement. hes really great in this one idk #anyways yeah im pleasantly surprised. #obviously there are the expected faults of like well. antags being v narrow mostly and the usual persona dialogue issues and stuff #but overall what a nice surprise

[mansplainmanipulatemalewife]

I keep being genuinely surprised when I see other people play disco and get frustrated that people are so reluctant to cooperate I get stonewalled by Elizabeth and I’m like go girl give us nothing

#disco elysium #what could be cooler or sexier than a healthy distrust of cops #like #idk something in my brain is *very* aware of power imbalances #*especially* when they work in my favour #so having the characters just clearly and unapologetically assert their rights is a relief #otherwise I spend too much time trying to balance actually progressing the game with trying to #beat harry's dialogue options into something that doesn't blatantly overstep boundaries or involve manipulation #even talking to like... everart or the sunday friend is nice #because it's like oh okay I'm on the defensive here #I can sit back and relax and treat this as a fun little puzzle to figure out their goals and motivations #huh that's probably why I like Jean so much actually #idk how to explain it but like... as distainful as he is he treats harry very much as an equal rather than an authority figure #same with CUNO to some extent #the same is kind of true of the drunks but idiot doom spiral is annoying so he doesn't count #anyway are y'all proud of me i finally made my own post it only took an hour

[boxwinebaddie]

sigh...okay.

so just an update on nina irl: the only other guy that does my job decided to take this fancy ~whirlwind~ vacation for a week, so i'm basically stuck doing my job and HIS job for all of next week. ://

in essence, i am going to be extremely stressed, tired and probably quite ornery and deeply unpleasant. however, i'm going to try and not pollute my vibe palace on here with bad vibes or take my personal grievances out on all you sweet, wonderful people but...uuuuuFGH

long story short, as a shock to no one, uncle nina is overworked and underpaid and my super now fucked up schedule doesn't really leave me a lot of time to write or answer your questions as thoroughly as i would like. so the answers may be briefer if not few and far between.

but on a bright note: i am writing something that i am enjoying and i hope that it will find you sometime soon/thrill you. maybe. ugh.

-uncle nina, not vibin

#nina speaks #sorry for ranting at you #but it was kind of meant to be a status update #so i felt it necessary to communicate that information to you #but i am going to be absolutely fucking miserable #thanks guy who decided to fuck off on his cool trip #i love being slammed & carrying your dead weight on my back #i'm so irritated like i am the only other person doing that job #so i am essentially fucked bc he wants to chill on the beach #but yeah if i am an asshole and not a good content creator #this week which i am always already so its not a stretch #its because i am just angry and sad and so so so tired #i kind of want to cry this is so stupid oh my god #but yeah i am trying to write something when i have inspo #its more like blurbs and snippets but i figured #some of the dialogue snippets should finally have actions #but i haven't written Written in so long idk i'm anxious #tldr: you always are but please be nice to me i feel deflated

[devotedlystrangewizard]

i dont like saying astarion is my least favorite of the companions because it makes me feel like im such a "look at me im so special" guy but he honest to fucking god. is my least favorite. i cannot keep silent on this matter. i think hes a good character, i think neil did a fantastic job with him, but also hes committed the unforgiveable sin of annoying me and for that he gets one thousand years in brain jail

#ramblings #something about him felt so??? pretentious. to me. idk. like he was always looking down upon me #i dont personally resonate with him or his story in the slightest AND several of his conversations made me uncomfortable #and then you can say 'oh well gale is kind of pretentious too and hes your favorite' but like. it feels different? #gale could explain magic to me for hours and id quietly listen even if inalready knew it #i could probably do a whole back & forth of 'that reminds me' 'oh that reminds me' 'well THAT reminds me' with gale #meanwhile astarion speaks and even with literally 3 options for dialogue idk what to say #like theres a lot ab astarion that doesnt resonate with me but ultimately his biggest sin #is just reminding me of being sixteen finally getting a seat at the table with classmates only to constantly feel like a loser #being this already insecure teenager constantly expecting people to be putting me down in ways my autistic brain cant comprehend #i dont like not knowing whether someone is genuine or not. after nearly 400 hours i still cant read astarion #meanwhile gale looks at my sorcerer durge starts explaining some magic and my brain immediately clocks it as autistic infodumping #i did romance astarion btw. i havent completed either of those runs but ive romanced him twice #and both times i didnt feel comfortable with it AT ALL until act 3. #& the impression he left on me is in fact fully subjective. i dont give a shit if i misinterpreted it. because thats just how i felt

[cobwebinthecorner]

the button is right there guys

i called you over because it's literally impossible to do this on my own

for fuck's sake, someone press it

#kirby #kirby and the amazing mirror #amazing mirror's ai SUCKS #fun fact when i was in high school i had an idea for a comic taking place some time after the end of amazing mirror #i did nothing with it though because i can't draw for shit and can't write believable character dialogue or stories #i'd probably be better at dialogue now if i tried it again but the stories might still be crap #and i still can't draw for shit #but now that i'm thinking about it i could probably go with pixel art and sprites #i'd have to attempt making some new sets/backgrounds in a similar style on my own but it could work #and if i keep it to like 4 to 6 panels max i wouldn't have to worry about coming up with complex stories #i could focus on comedy and jokes #maybe make some one panel jokes like The Far Side since I've always loved and felt kinda inspired by that comic #okay wow i think i'm actually gonna finally try to make that idea something real #who knew that 15 minutes of writing tags for a post could affect my creative motivation so much #posts fully endorsed by cobweb

[gazelessmenagerie]

No one:

me, waking up bc for some reason the heater is up and I am sweating to have to get up and crack open the window: .... The reason I focus hard on the personal struggles and inner turmoil of Broly is just because that’s how I see his character aside from the terrifying psycho he is when all hell breaks loose from him after years of what could be trauma. Yeah everyone loves his lssj form but fuck if i don’t like seeing what could possibly go on beneath the surface. What aspects could be warped or driven to be a certain way because its all he ever knew and how would it affect him when small changes are coaxed into him through repeated interactions and slowly getting used to having someone around that he legitimately becomes accustomed to.

another part of my brain: ... is this also an elaborate way to say I have no goddamn idea what to do with the lssj because in my head, he can basically obliterate just about anything? yes. yes it is. the only valid way I can see him actually getting into trouble outside of powerful transformations by capable individuals or their own power alone is actually Himself because his Anger is so prevalent that it stresses him out without the aid of that suppression device forcing him to calm down (or having certain people in some cases that manage to have enough of a bond to him that he is capable of calming down to their efforts or ways they employ). Honestly, what sort of after effects could happen to him being used to this device and the feelings it forced upon and then suddenly getting his freedom away from it? The bastard’s more intelligent than he lets on and its evident through watching him fight with what could very well just be ambush tactics and throwing his weight around as what he probably learned from growing up watching other predatory animals as he grew into power.

The Heehoo part of my brain: ... Him being a fucking psycho is hot but lmfao I don’t think I can use it much outside of plotted threads or drabbles. I blame some artists for capturing that side of him so well in illustrative mediums and I hope to one day get to that level but in a literary sense (along with artistic but that’s already a bit of a work in progress)

My body: can the cold air get in here faster? sweating up a damn storm from the heater being too high.

#|| Character Study: {Broly} #( and then I look on twitter and realize... wrow #( glad I'm not interested in any db discourse bc gd. the amount of people I'd need to block would be staggering. ) #( I just throw some choice pieces of art I do and call it a day. read some of the nice comments and fade back to here ) #( where I can splurge my ideas and wants with this fucking asshole villain and flourish. ) #( love it when he finally gets some better things but also love it when he becomes deranged and a damned menace ) #( adfljg idk. could be me overanalyzing my own muse bc I don't touch upon his viciously darker aspects as much ) #( precisely because he can fucking destroy almost anyone in an actual fight up until they surpass his lssj and then ) #( he'd eventually break his own power ceiling in attaining even higher forms. ) #( BUT. that isn't to say all forms are available to him and others require a monumentous amount of work from him ) #( on the personal growth level to actually be acheivable in the first place. ) #( I want him to fucking struggle with himself. I want him to struggle against factors he never anticipated before and has to adapt in ways ) #( beyond his instinctual habit of getting fucking pissed off. ) #( and in the same token. seeing how destructive it becomes not only to the environment/battle but to himself is just another ) #( facet I enjoy exploring and I kinda lowkey wish the actual show or maybe some medium of media could tap into that ) #( than make him just the secret boss again or like an add-in for something. idk afnlsdgj ) #( I love the fucking nuggets I get from such smaller pieces like him getting amnesiac and actually being a bit better. ) #( to how much of a drastic change of mind he gets talking to him in xenoverse and picking apart his dialogue in a ) #( constant state of lssj vs what his actual personality might be when he's in base form. ) #( still an asshole but at least he could be reasoned with a little more... or he just flat out kills you bc he fucking can and its funny ) #( the thoughts I have about this asshole are many and I only wish I could write them down and explore them without being limited to ) #( time. motivation and availability on myself and others adsnflgj ) #( thx for coming to my morning ted talk alfahsldhgkdjslgj )

[avirael]

FFxivWrite 2023

Day 30 - Amity

A‘viloh and Rael first discovered they were working together perfectly after one morning in Gridania Rael announced they would go to meet Beatin at the carpenters‘ guild. They had already spent a few calm days in the city without any news from Minfillia and slowly A‘viloh grew bored, so Rael suggested for him to come along and try to learn something new. Beatin was always happy to meet new students and also very passionate about his work, and A‘viloh turned out the be a natural talent.

„Be careful, Rael!“, the Elezen teased. „You found yourself a fierce competition. Keep an eye on him or he will soon steal all the commissions away from you.“

A’viloh laughed and rubbed his neck. „Nah, I would never do that. And my work is only this good because of your instructions and Rael‘s help anyway…“

„I knew you would be good at this.“ Rael said with a rare grin on their face.

Within a few days A‘viloh had caught up with Rael‘s skills due to the Viera‘s helpful tips and soon they worked side by side constantly improving themselves by the healthy competition. It turned out learning new things was exponentially easier and more fun when you didn’t have to do it on your own and A’viloh and Rael complemented each other perfectly. At first they pointed out tiny details in each other’s works, which they could improve, and soon they worked hand in hand not on one product each but instead on one joint project.

One day they decided to go and gather their own materials to make their works even better and on another, when Beatin didn’t have any work for them, they went to the leatherworkers‘ guild to try their luck there. From that day on when they didn’t have any missions they spent their free time in whatever guild existed in the city they were at that time and learn new things. Everywhere they went the guildmasters were soon impressed with their unique way to work hand in hand and their effectiveness. One calm afternoon in Ul‘dah Serendipity, the master of the goldsmiths‘ guild, had watched them while they were silently working away at some jewellery and had exclaimed: „It is actually scary how you know exactly what to do without saying much! What kind of sorcery is this? You‘re secretly using telepathy, right?“

But they weren’t just a perfect team and their work was not just great fun for them. To A’viloh’s surprise it turned out they also could help people in more ways than just by fighting monsters. Their work helped save lifes over and over again and made their customers very happy too.

One day, months after they first started working together, they walked into the carpenters‘ guild to find Beatin slumped over his workbench in despair. They had never seen the Elezen like that and immediately knew something was very wrong.

„Beatin?“, Rael asked with furrowed brows and A‘viloh added with a worried voice: „What happened?“

Distressed the carpenter looked up at them. „Oh it‘s horrible! It‘s so horrible…“, the Elezen said. „An officer from the Adders‘ Nest came to speak with me. In the North Shroud, near Ixal territory, they…they found…“, he stuttered absentmindedly, „Gairhard‘s longbow… I saw the fragments myself. It was the selfsame maple longbow I made all those years ago. Which means… he is… Gairhard is…“, his voice was shivering and he hesitated like he was afraid that speaking it out aloud would make it true.

A’viloh gasped and Rael could see on his face exactly what memories that information evoked in the Miqo’te. His mouth opened to say something, closed again than opened anew without any sound coming out. He either didn’t find the right words or he wasn’t trusting his voice not to betray him. Instead Rael asked: „We‘re so sorry, Beatin. Is there anything we can do to help you?“

Beatin shook his head visibly trying very hard not to cry. „I wish to be alone right now. Go… Be with your loved ones, or play with the younglings in the Acorn Orchard.“

A moment longer they stared at him puzzled before they silently left the guild. „We should go to the Adders, maybe we can...“, Rael suggested but A’viloh turned away. „To what end? They won’t tell us anything and even if they do, it will be nothing different from what they told Beatin.“

Theoretically Rael knew this was true but they felt the need to do something and not give in to the helplessness.

„You‘re right… Well, we could do what Beatin said: Return to the Rising Stones and check on our friends. Maybe you could finally talk to Thancred…“

A’viloh sighed and shook his head. „Just leave it be, Rael…“

The Miqo’tes‘ stubbornness frustrated Rael. Exasperated they threw up their arm. „Well, wallow in self-pity as much as you like. I don’t care what you do, but I am going to talk to Vorsaile now and see if he can tell me anything about Gairhard and his squad.“

With that the Viera stomped off towards the Acorn Orchard and A’viloh, provoked by their words and unwilling to be left behind, followed quickly. They only made it to the playgrounds behind the guild before a bunch of children ran towards them lead by Nicoliaux. „Hey, Rael! A’viloh! Have you talked to Beatin?“

They nodded and the boy answered with a pained face. „It’s good you weren’t here earlier when Beatin heard the news. He went on a rampage in the workshop, howling like an animal and breaking anything within reach with his bare hands!“

„I just hoped there was anything we could do to help…“ Rael mused.

„I don’t think we can help him this time… but if you really want to try, you could give him some really, really good wood. The best you can make, maybe that would cheer him up.“ the boy said and Rael couldn’t help but marvel at this childlike approach to make the situation better.

„Thanks Nicoliaux. I guess it’s at least better than doing nothing...“ Rael nodded and waved towards A’viloh to follow him. „Come on, I still have some rosewood stored at the inn.“

The Miqo’te shook his head in frustration but followed nonetheless. „What good is this gonna do Rael? Beatin said he wants to be alone. We should not trouble him any longer. You can’t make up for such a loss with a piece of rosewood!“

„Of course not. But at least we can try to give him a distraction. Please, A’viloh. If you don’t do it for Beatin, then please do it for me.“ And by do it for me they actually meant do it to help me trying to distract the both of you from being gloomy.

A’viloh sighed deeply. „Fine! I don’t see the point, but if you’ll stop then…“

„Go and get everything from the inn. I‘ll talk to Vorsaile. We‘ll meet in front of the guilt.“

And so they went their ways and got their intel and tools and materials - and then they worked their magic. In no time they walked back into the carpenters guild with a flawless piece of rosewood in tow. Beatin wasn’t happy to see them again at first though. „Why have you returned? I told you, I wish to be alone!“

„If you truly wish to be alone and sad and hopeless, we‘ll leave you be“, Rael proclaimed in their sometimes way to direct attitude. „but first you’ll take a look at this and listen!“

They presented their rosewood and indeed it seemed to pull the Elezen from his thoughts for a moment. The excitement about such a flawless product was visible on his face. He couldn’t help to inspect it, run his fingers over the grain and mutter to himself about it‘s quality and what he could craft from it. But the later brought him back to the subject he‘d been brooding over all day and made him sigh in despair.

„I know you mean well but it is no use. My thoughts remain with Gairhard.“ his sad eyes lingered on the texture of the wood. „Like a young sapling, he matured into a magnificent tree… only to be cut down before his —“

Rael interrupted him. „But you don’t know that he was, do you? Your comparison is flawed! I talked to Vorsaile, he said the scouts found signs of skirmish, Gairhard‘s broken bow, but they found no bodies!“

The realisation struck Beatin as if Rael had hit him. A moment he looked startled then he brushed one hand over his face. „You are right of course, Rael. How could I have given up on him so easily. Gairhard was no sapling. He was — is one of our finest! He must still be alive! He and his squad are out there somewhere, isolated and likely low on supplies. I know for a fact that he only carries one bow, so if that weapon has been broken…“ he trailed of and for a second Rael feared he would fall back into despair but instead he snapped back. „Matron forfend, he could be defenceless! He must needs be sent a new weapon straightaway! But… I fear I am in no condition to craft it. In my earlier, foolish tantrum, I injured my hand, and have not the strength to grip a saw. You two must be the ones to craft Gairhard‘s bow! I beg of you, you two are my best students and I know you can make him a peerless new bow. Rael, A’viloh, please! You two are my one and only hope!“

They didn’t need to be told that twice. In no time they assembled all the materials and hand in hand crafted the best weapon they ever made so far while Beatin stood by and nodded approvingly.

„We‘ll find him!“ Rael had assured before they hurried out of the guild and towards the Shroud. Out of earshot A’viloh noted „Don’t make promises you may not be able to keep. Gairhard is out there, in Ixal territory, without a weapon. He‘s probably long dead. What if we just gave Beatin false hope?“

„What if we didn’t? By just giving up without trying we‘ll never find out. And you saw that man! For my part, I don’t believe he‘s the type to easily be killed.“

The Miqo’te grinned. „You know what? I believe you! By the gods, what fairytale are you going to make me believe in next? Rabbits on the moon?“

A victorious smile formed on the Viera‘s face. „I was thinking flying pigs but who knows… Come on, we have a life to save.“

And so they did! Against all the bad odds they found Gairhard at the border of the Ixal territory, hunched behind a tree, while arrows flew around him right and left. They arrived no second too early. The soldier was surprised to see them but gladly accepted his new weapon. Together they quickly put the Ixal to flight and Gairhard thanked them. He almost wouldn’t believe that Beatin had send them out all this way just to deliver a bow, but he was glad for it and asked them to give the guildmaster his regards.

Back in Gridania the Elezen paced around the guild impatiently. When A’viloh and Rael entered the room he immediately yelled „Does he live?!“

Rael just smiled and nodded while A’viloh started to tell the whole story of their epic fight, ending with a detailed description of how Gairhard had shot an arrow right into the Ixal chieftains head over an unbelievable distance and in doing so won the whole battle.

Beatin had listened to the entire story with fascination and at last relief on his face. „He lives! Gairhard lives! I could kiss you“, the Elezen exclaimed and indeed pulled both of them into a hug.

A’viloh laughed and Rael wriggled out of Beatin‘s grip with a crooked smile on their face. „With all due respect, but I think I‘ll pass.“

Beatin laughed and let them go. „I owe you a dept that can never be repaid. A thousand times over, I thank you!“

„We are just glad that we could be of help.“, Rael said.

„I second that“, A’viloh added.

Later that day, when the sun started to set, the two of them sat down on the outer walkway of the Carline Canopy and looked out to the lake.

„Thank you, Rael“, A’viloh suddenly said entirely unprompted.

Rael looked up in confusion from the book they where reading. „Huh? For what?“

„For earlier. When you wouldn’t give in about helping Beatin. You were right and I was wrong. I would have just given up and then - by the Twelve - Gairhard would probably have ended up dead for real.“, the Miqo’te said with a weird tone that suggested he would kick himself for his mistake for quite a while.

Rael sat up straight and sternly looked at him. „Hey! A’vi! Look at me! How many more times will I have to tell you to stop it with these what ifs?? What matters is that we helped them. Not just me! You did too!“

A’viloh sighed and a smile crept onto his face. „Persistent as always.“

Rael raised a brow. „Persistent and right! I couldn’t let Beatin bath himself in misery like that, couldn’t I?“

A’viloh scoffed. „You? Probably not…“

The Viera poked at A’viloh‘s arm with a corner of their book. „And you know what? Neither can or will I let YOU bath yourself in your misery any longer!“

„What’s that supposed to mean now?“, the Miqo’te asked with a puzzled look on his face.

„We will return to the Rising Stones tomorrow and you will speak to Thancred!“

A’viloh opened his mouth in protest but Rael cut him of. „No buts!“

So the Miqo’te stayed silent and looked at his feet dangling from the walkway instead. For a moment both of them were silent.

„You’re a great friend, Rael. The best I could wish for. I don’t know what I would do without you…“, A’viloh muttered without looking up.

The Viera barked a short laught. „Without me you would do exactly nothing, because you would have gotten yourself killed long ago!“

„Pfft! I’m not that dumb!“

„Oh,no? What about the Coeurl?“

A’viloh finally looked up at Rael but he didn’t look annoyed. Instead he grinned. „You‘ll never let me hear the end of that, will you?“

„Definitely not!“

They both burst out in laughter until they couldn’t breath anymore.

Then they fell silent again, watching the last rays of sunlight vanish behind the trees.

„Hey, A‘vi…“

„Hm?“

„I wouldn’t know what to do without you either.“

#ffxivwrite2023 #ffxivwrite #ffxiv writing #ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #final fantasy 14 #post-ARR #a'viloh tia #rael hyskaris #I shamelessly borrowed the dialogues from the carpenters questline #Beatin and his friend are gay and you can’t convince me otherwise! ;-) #I love that elezen idiot haha… #I really like the idea that A‘vi and Rael grew very good friends without noticing at first #at some point they realised they can’t imagine doing what they‘re doing without the other anymore… #also I really love crafting and gathering and I think the two of them do that a lot as a hobby in between missions #I can’t believe I managed to write something every single day for a whole month!!!

[t-u-i-t-c]

finished rpm

#i liked it #doesn't have the grip go onger has the impact the range #but it was something #pr lb #umbrella.thoughts #umbrella.posts #might do kr 01 next but since it's donbrothers finale week idk #rpm lb #(hope you know i'm being lighthearted like i like rpm but go onger is something else to me #though if we don't compare i'd still just like it bc there's aspects that i noticed about pr that do bother me #ie the voice acting for the suited characters or just some generally out of place dialogue that bugs me. these are personal preferences #though so to each their own)

[ecurai]

a thankless task

“Enter.”

The word was less than a whisper. There was no chance of the ship’s computer picking it up; but Ael t’Dosai had nothing more to give.

After a respectful pause, the door to the ready room chimed again.

“Enter,” she rasped, no louder; then, giving up, pressed the manual control.

She’d thought herself too numb to show surprise; but something must have changed on her face. Gu’rol raised a wry, exhausted eyebrow as she let herself in.

“You were expecting someone else.” It wasn’t really a question. “Mmm. I understand. Ours is the bond of a warrior to her captain; you are neither sister nor mother to me, nor lover, nor savior, nor the head of my House. Yet I think I am not less to you because of it.”

“If I wanted to insult you,” Ael said softly, “I would reduce to words how much you mean to me.”

Gu’rol, thank Kahless, understood that dubious phrasing as the bone-deep honor it was. She dipped her head in solemn acknowledgement, and continued.

“Then you will hear me,” she said. “Where you perhaps will not, when the speaker is one who sees you as family above all else, and might seek to comfort you. You will know I speak from the respect of a warrior to one who has earned it.”

The sound Ael made—hollow and soulless—was not a laugh. 

“If I’ve earned anything,” she said honestly, with a gesture toward the door, “It’s for someone to walk through that door and deliver me their sword.” At the slight tilt of her science officer’s head, she let her eyes drift closed and gave a dull wave of the hand. “It’s—nothing. An old Imperial tradition. Fall on it, or we’re coming to do something a lot messier. When your leader and representative failed you. Dishonored themselves beyond redemption. Do you know people say the Rihannsu are subtle?”

Gu’rol didn’t take the bait. Voice rough and quiet, she murmured instead, “You do not trust this woman.”

“As far as I could throw the Ecurai,” Ael spat, the words bitter on her tongue. 

“She is persuasive.” Gu’rol’s unblinking regard was devastating. “Yet you are not persuaded.”

Ael, for the first time, had begun to regret not adhering to fleet tradition and keeping a cabinet of chilled ale in her ready room.

“J’Ula is a powerful speaker,” she said in a soft voice. “An idealist, even. A visionary. She has…has…” Ael made a face, tapping her fingers together as she tried to find the Khe’lloann word. “Nuhirrien. Influence, pull, she’s—charismatic. Brilliant, eloquent, and beautiful.”

Gu’rol hummed. “She is. And?”

Ael looked up, feeling steel slide into her voice for the first time since she’d put a compression bolt in the head of a KDF lieutenant. 

“So was Sela.”

A pause.

Finally, Gu’rol said, “Then you have dishonored nothing.”

“I’ve dishonored the entire ship.” Ael’s voice was incredulous. “By your laws and mine. The worst form of treachery you can commit is to betray yourself. I want nothing to do with the Mo’kai, or J’Ula, any of them. I’ve betrayed every oath I ever made in the name of a cause I don’t even believe in. I’m…so sorry.”

“And now,” said Gu’rol without heat, “You shame yourself.”

Ael, despite the crushing weight of her own greyscale despair, felt a near-uncontrollable urge to roll her eyes. Gu’rol crossed her arms more firmly with a pointed look that said her commander had not suppressed the urge nearly well enough.

“Your culture views apologies differently than mine,” she acknowledged. “That is not what I meant. Were you not my captain I would strike you. You act to save innocents from slaughter—is this what you recant?”

“Gu’rol—”

“tammoH,” she snapped. “You act to defend innocents. You stand between civilians and an honorless death by betrayal. You stay behind as reality itself dissolves, to save the lives of the helpless by inches from a weapon fired by Jm’pok’s own ship—”

“According to J’Ula!” Ael pushed back. “We didn’t see—”

“You act according to the only information you have, in defense of my people, and your own, and of the Federation,” Gu’rol continued ruthlessly. “You break yourself as I watch, trying to spread word to the fleet before chaos can take hold. You fire in your own defense only, when you are attacked by the Chancellor without cause. Your crew has followed you and bled for you and followed your orders without hesitation. And now you disavow that courage. Now that your honor carries a price.”

Ael lurched half to her feet with a snarl, hand flying to the blade at her side. “If you think I’ve never paid a price for—!”

Gu’rol sat back, looking satisfied. After a charged moment, Ael unclenched her fist.

“Well played,” she said shortly. “Susse-thrai.”

“You have lost face,” said Gu’rol, bluntly. She used the Romulan word—dathe, pure public perception, a distinction from true honor that barely existed at all in Klingon culture. “Your reputation has suffered. That is not the same thing.”

“I wish the rest of the Alliance thought the way you do.” Her eyes ached. “Every time I try to explain my actions to myself I sound exactly like the insane zealots who fired on a civilian target. Every traitor thinks she’s righteous.”

“And every coward thinks obedience is the same as loyalty.” Gu’rol stood. “You will not believe J’Ula’s words or those of Jm’pok without proof. You will continue to look, and listen; you will refuse dishonorable orders; you will meet honesty with truth, and stand against tyrants. As you always have. We have trusted your judgment this far and you have no right to make us fools for it now. Enough of this ligament-chewing in the dark. Take back your honor.”

Ael took a deep breath, and let it out in a long, shaky sigh.

“Stop panicking in circles and address my temtactaur?” she translated. Gu’rol inclined her head in acknowledgement; Ael managed a strained smile before squeezing her eyes closed. “You’re right. I should have done that hours ago.”

“After the battle you sent a shipwide message to assemble in the mess at 1900 hours for an address from the commander,” said Gu’rol, which was news to Ael. “You have two hours still.”

“...Thank you, iehvienen. Forgive me my weakness tonight.”

Gu’rol paused, and her face took on an expression Ael had never seen there before. Guiding her captain to her feet, Gu’rol took Ael’s face between her hands more gently than she had seen her science officer handle anything, and brought their foreheads together with tender, deliberate intent.

“It is no weakness to listen to counsel,” she murmured. “And it is the worst kind of fool who acts according to her own whim, never considers she might be mistaken in her actions or beliefs, and calls that honor. The demons surround you on all sides and hiss of Romulan treachery as if they did not two days ago call you the Eagle of Qo’nos—what warrior could help but lose heart? On the day you first swore fealty they called you treacherous weakling, and still you fought and bled for an Empire that hated you. Now they call you treacherous weakling— and you will fight and bleed for an Empire that hates you.”

Emotion from Gu’rol was more precious than latinum. Ael felt the balm of it in her bones; and Gu’rol’s mind pressed against hers like sunlight. The clear, golden glow of undiluted respect washed away enough of the dread for Ael to give a tired but genuine smile.

“If this is a pep talk,” she managed, “You should have quit while you were ahead.”

“Bah.” Gu’rol released her, but kept a hand on Ael’s shoulder to remove any sting from the gesture. “You do not need wisdom from me. More than any other you understand—honor is not songs and praise in the flow of bloodwine. Honor is a thousand burning cuts in a vale of shadows, and the whisper that all you need do to make the pain stop is stand aside and let the demons take the child at your back. Honor is a thankless task that brings light in the dark to everyone but yourself.”

“...You would have loved Iuruth slam poetry.” Ael took a deep breath. Then, “J’Ula’s going to stab us in the back.”

Gu’rol smiled. “Your back is where I stand,” she said. “Let her try.”

#ficlet #STO #OOPS I SAT DOWN TO WRITE SOME BRIEF DIALOGUE AND ACCIDENTALLY-- #aHA i finally got the translations fixed! #they only work if you view it on my blog at this point I think #but hey that's something!

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread  

Song Of Silver Flame like Night

YA wuxia/xianxia inspired fantasy

a girl in a colonised country with a mysterious seal on her arm left by her mother before she was killed

when a state magician finds her, she escapes with a boy to his school of secret traditional magic practitioners, and discover the secrets her mother left her

powerful demon gods

#Song Of Silver Flame like Night #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #with the caveat that i am clearly not the audience. i kinda hated this lol #for a few very specific reasons #i think there’s interesting concepts & worldbuilding #but i am just so burnt out on girl-and-boy-with-no-friends-and-instant-attraction-travelling-together as the centre of a story yknow #this random girl dies and then after she’s referring to her as her best friend but like….i didn’t get that from their single conversation. #it almost feels like shoved in last minute because of feedback of no other female friendships #when there’s finally another woman it’s the stereotype of a mean girl. and they are just calling each other bitches and whores….like jesus… #she is so one dimensional but also in concept she is 20x cooler than the mc sorry i’m rooting for her now #from the end seems like they’ll be forced to work together and probably become reluctant allies/friends in book 2 or something but like…. #if that was intended from the beginning you have to make the initial hatred make sense in the first place #also boys getting all embarrassed by periods……it’s 2023. come on. it's not cute and endearing. #if ur looking for dragons bc of the cover. there are barely dragons. the one shows up in like the last chapter #also the audiobook narration is one of those where the normal narration is a normal voice but the dialogue is so cartoony? #like the girls have such high pitched voices.the boys have the deeper voice. except for like random side boys who have comical ones. #idk none of them sound like real people #things i did like: the magic i guess. though to be quite honest the colonisers metal based magic seemed more original and interesting asdhgf #i thought there were some interesting elements to the dudes backstory #oh another thing i disliked is theres a side character with a cleft lip and the MC brings it up EVERY TIME like like.....what. #every time she sees him shes like. ppl used to discriminate #against this and call them (a bunch of slurs) and say they're cursed but actually maybe it's just a scar. people used to call them slurs btw #. i am going to bring this up every time i look at them.