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#for real regarding the anon thing
ferahntics · 11 months
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I shant stop
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macadam · 6 months
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Throwback to when someone referred to me as the matpat of transformers
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mikkokomori · 3 months
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is omari basil still a delinquent
(and side note here id LOVE to hear you ramble all about your Omari au)
Ahem,,,, if it is alright with you then,,,,,, I will talk about my OMARI Basil then,,,,
To answer your question, he was planned to be the delinquent of the group (as per typical swap aus), though over time, I really began to sit down and think about it the more swap aus began to pop up around the fandom. I didn't really like the idea of being a carbon copy of various other omari aus in specific, so during the time I have been absent on here I began to slowly revamp the AU over time. I had to start over with what I originally had in the first place since a lot of the au things in my take on it also had contributions by followers as well!
For Basil, his first concept was initially a delinquent take... but the thing that caused a problem with that was the fact that I had planned for him to also play a sort of "detective" role in this universe, as I had written a short snippet on Basil having caught on to something suspicious going on between the older siblings and Sunny's sudden disappearance.......
Frankly, as much as a delinquent Basil is my darling concept of all concepts, I had to, unfortunately, push it to the side and alter his role in this AU to fit with the revamped look I was going for him... therefore fully integrating him into his "detective" role. In a way though, looking through Mari's perspective, he's sort of a clashing force with her and is equivalent to an antagonist in her own story (but! Keep in mind, Mari in this AU isn't the Mari who you should be sympathizing for.... an unreliable narrator who happens to be a wolf in sheeps clothing....).
As for the emotions, while a lot of people tend to view the emotions being assigned to the characters as their possible role in RW (the happy-go-lucky, the perfect student, the delinquent), for mine I ended up making it were each friend had 2 main emotions.... Basils would be anger and sorrow (Aubrey and Kel tend to have anger as their second emotion, though that is still up for debate! I still have a few things to work out :3). So, in a way you could say that in Headspace they were only ever seen as a one-dimensional character by Mari/Hikkiko, while in the real world, they had a even bigger "mess" of emotions that they all dealt with. In turn, Basil's concept strayed further away from the path of delinquent and more into a path which.... ehehe..... obsession as a concept is such a fun thing to play around with, don't you think?
Just as much as he plays the "investigator", he also is meant to be a parallel of what Mari/Hikkiko is. Obsession has always been a part of his character, and in doing so, you could say I played around with it until I found quite a nice concept with this. Mari/Hikkiko both have a need to keep Sunny around as the perfect brother and therefore paint his Headspace counterpart to their own liking.... while Basil in turn has, on some level, a need to imitate Sunny as closely as he can. Both are a form of obsessions I have given them, and in a way, the only reason Basils is a more "lighter" version of this is because Aubrey, Kel, Hero (sort of), Polly, his grandmother, and Faraway Town as a whole have been there to guide him on a better path. Though his obsession to keep Sunny's memory alive by becoming like him is still there, it's not to say that he doesn't have people to talk some sense into him-- meanwhile Mari does not have that type of support.
Obsession stems from love, at least, in their case. And in the end, it really depends on whether or not they have people who are willing to reel them back into a state of sanity. Basil was, at least in terms of my omari lore, viewed as a delinquent at one point, though he never acted out aggressively towards others unless provoked enough and only ever kept to himself.... eventually the town residents accepted the fact that this was just his way of grieving and treated him with patience and respect, especially with the fact he took it upon himself to go around town and helping around with the little things, though especially with gardening and photography.
it's not to say though, that he doesn't have some... worrying habits. That as in, most of his plants being replaced with tulips and most of the heads of certain plants being chopped off with garden shears, left to rot. While Basil mimics his best friends habits, he isn't exactly the best at fully hiding his feelings and emotions as Sunny was able to. No amount of masquerading will change the fact that once he's laid his sights on you, it'll only be a matter time before he seeks for your head on a silver platter.
#im sure i have much more to say and i probably ended up giving you more information than you can chew at a time but like...#listen..... i've been waiting for so#LONG for someone to ask something regarding the characters for the revamped version#in a way i will say that this omari au is a very personal thing with the way some characterizations come off#(some of the stuff in this au is based off real experiences lol)#and any time it comes to swap aus in general for any fandom#i always take them seriously#if anything. i WILL shit on someone in my head if their swap au doesnt have anything unique to it and its just a roleswap#its why the one swap au im actually paying much mind to is a friends au thats called CHICO#one things for certain; if your swap au doesnt have any creativity put into it i will cast upon shame on you your family your families dog-#jk but. swap aus have always been a passion project thing for me in every fandom i've ever been in and OMORI fandom is. well#lets just say that im the gordon ramsay of swap aus because theres BARELY ANY FUCKING GOOD FOOD AROUND HERE!!!!!!#OMARI AU#A Sisters Mourning AU#omori au#omori basil#omori spoilers#omori#anon asks#miko talks#mikkos ramblings#this also just goes in general for aus#ive always been picky and if theres something i dont like or something doesnt make sense well#im sorry to those who have to watch me get real bitchy with things#aus have always been a therapeutic thing to me and ik not everyone is gonna do what i want to see but even then#if your au is mostly for shipping (that has no relevance to the plot whatsoever) or blatant mischaracterization then you can leave!!#ik im sounding like a shen yuan rn but i have a lot of pent up rage and resentment#if you think you can get away with stuff like this in aus i will hunt you down and pour milk over your heads!!!!!
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kimtaegis · 1 year
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👋 2022
#I won’t go into detail about real life except that it was. well. a Trip#learned some things went through things. the year of baby steps I guess#BUT I wanna write some thoughts about my 2022 tumblr experience down#it was… also quite a Trip#positive first: learned to stay off this site when necessary! very important mental-health wise#my most used tag this year was my track tag! shoutout to everyone who’s been using it#you bring me much joy by sharing your creations with me. I appreciate it 🤍#another shoutout to all the incredibly lovely people who’ve come to my inbox this year#I’ve been very lucky in that regard. 98% of my anons have been the kindest sweetest most eloquent people#and I’m happy to have been able to have super interesting thoughtful and respectful discussions from time to time#okay what else. oh HIGHLIGHT of my year here – my birthday ADFFGHJ#I felt so so so spoiled and couldn’t (still can’t) believe the amount of spectacular gif(t)s I got. made me feel stupidly happy oh my god#I learned a lot of new skills and techniques for gfx making. kept experimenting with different styles which has been fun!#gif making has turned more into a relaxing activity than something that makes me feel pressured and anxious#I dialed it down a bit compared to last year and I think that was a good decision as well#as for not so positive things. well.#of course there are the usual/ general ‘complaints’ like lack in interaction and the like#got my first proper anon hate in November. that was something#HUGE lesson I learned this year: just because someone states in their bio that they’re adults doesn’t mean they act like ones <3#people can be very childish ruthless and simply not worth one’s effort#and a last thing that fits quite well to that: 9 out of 10 people do not care about you. not about your time and effort you put in content#not about whether you’re online or not. not about how you might feel when they say and do certain things#I think I need to learn how to embrace this kind of insignificance. be more audacious. find validation within myself#okay I’ll stop now#I wanna say thank you to all the lovely people who made this year on tumblr more enjoyable and who truly brighten the place up for me#I love you lots and wish you all the best for 2023#it’s gonna be a hard year for me with lots of challenges and changes#and it’s nice to have this little space here where you can escape to from time to time#mwah. smooches to all of you. happy new year <3
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nervouswaltz · 8 months
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I dont think it's real personally I can understand covering time stamps for privacy but recolouring the whole thing just makes it look like they were trying to hide their photoshop. Like is there drama behind the scenes? Almost certainly I just dont think this is the smoking gun everyone thinks it is
idgaf we popping bottles this is drama that doesn’t concern me i got my popcorn it’s gonna be a little bit hilarious regardless of what happens
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metvmorqhoses · 2 years
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Do you think murder is wrong?
I think it depends.
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justalarryblog · 1 year
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marshmellowtea · 2 years
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Just popping by to say that I need ALL the baby actor content and you're my favorite place to get it. Thank you for giving us the most baby mark
hh?? THANK YOU.......
i always kinda feel like. idk. i'm getting on people's nerves posting agere content of any kind really so i'm glad to hear you enjoy my baby actor posting 😭 he is. my sweet little guy. my little baby. i care him
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Very puzzling how people on the Internet will preach nonconformity until their very last breath, meanwhile they proceed to become furious to the point of violence whenever somebody actually does not conform to societal expectations. They will also dehumanize & derogate these people through accusing them of actively trying to be defiant against them (implying that this would even be a bad thing while in effect, to start) and simply refusing to conceptualize that people with “heresies” aren’t deliberately going out of their way to appear contrarian, but, as a matter of fact, just happen—with no concern for others’ perceptions—to act in manners or harbor sentiments that do not align with what is accepted.
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hydrachea · 2 years
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Mandricado from fgo for the bingo
Character opinion bingo
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MY FRIEND... More like something did happen to him and I did cry.
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bitterchocoo · 4 months
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Hello!!Haha, I'm very glad that you liked my idea with Argenti! I don't want to impose too much, but I have so many ideas! For example, I have this idea - A reader from the Genius Society who is very interested in Doctor Ratio.
Again, if you are not interested, you don’t have to do it!
-Anon 🌾
A Waste of Talent
Dr. Veritas Ratio | M. Reader as X [Reverse: 1999]
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Are you sure you're not a mind reader? I swear I was working on this while making that Argenti one. Where are the cameras?? Did we met before??
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The Genius Society is known for many things. Their intelligence, their ambitions, their determination.
Accomplishing things beyond mere humans.
And yet... There is always one odd duckling in every group..
.
.
What a waste of talent...
That is the first thing Dr. Ratio thought when he met [Name].
This man.. this researcher... this brilliant, and intelligent researcher...
Why is he even doing this?! He could be so much more and yet he continues to lay around, doing aimless research, and making useless inventions!
Why?! Why would he waste that genius brain of his?!
"Honestly," He stated, his voice shaking with fury, "You should be ashamed of yourself."
He took a deep breath to try and control himself, but the heat of his anger still burned hotly within him.
"You are squandering a once-in-a-generation opportunity to become an intellectual powerhouse," Dr. Ratio continued, his voice dripping with frustration. "What a shame."
The researcher in question merely smiles at the other's reaction as his eyes drift to the clipboard in his hand. To be honest.. he doesn't care. He doesn't care how he's "not using his full potential" in fact, he's quite happy with what he's doing now. Even if some people branded his inventions as "useless."
Plus...
Dr. Ratio's reactions are always a sight he loves to see~ the confusion mixed with frustration. What a sight to see on a man whose intelligence could rival a member of the Genius Society. [Name] had always found Dr. Ratio to be an intriguing man and even with those harsh words being directed towards him, [Name] still found him to be a fascinating individual.
Getting a reaction out of him had also become a "hobby" of his. Just those clever, witty comebacks and with how expressive he is? It's always a joy to mess with him~
Which lead to their current predicament...
Ever since [Name] became interested with Dr. Ratio, he had made the doctor his personal tester for his inventions and oh... how wonderful those days have been~ the way he gets so worked up with every invention, saying that the Genius is wasting their talent.
Making Dr. Ratio test his inventions had easily became the highlight of his day~
"Are you done talking now? Alright.. shall we proceed with the testing?"
"So... you're next research is about... fried chicken?" Dr. Ratio asked, reading the papers as his gaze darted to the invention once in a while. This can't be real... how come this genius ever think of such a thing? He could be working on some life changing invention or discovery! Why is he dedicating an invention regarding fried chicken?!
"The inspiration came from the explosion.. introducing: The Breadcrumb Spraying Dispenser." The researcher stated as he took the papers from Dr. Ratio and began flipping through them. "An invention which will bring the flavor of your food to a significant level."
"Care to test it for me?'
....That's his inspiration into making this..? This.. thing?
"An explosion inspired you to make this? What explosion?"
"The one back at Herta's Space Station."
.
.
.
.
The day that the Genius Society decided to have their little meet up. [Name] never would have thought that Dr. Ratio is also at the Space Station.
At first, [Name] didn't think much of it. That is... until the whole Annihilation Gang thing happened..
As a kind person he is, he decided to lend them his help not only that, as a fellow Genius Society member he can't let danger arise in Herta's Space Station
.
.
"Go, go! Retreat!"
"Damn... get that ship moving!"
How... interesting..
It's not everyday that the Space Station is being raided like this, especially not from the Annihilation Gang. He thought they were more of a "rush in and kill everyone" type of organization. Who would have thought they have more in mind than to kill him...
[Name] let out a yawn as he casually sat in one of the hidden rooms of the facility as if the whole place isn't being raided or trampled upon by unwanted guests.
"So... the target of the Annihilation Gang is the space ship? But they only sent a bunch of dummies who can hardly accomplish anything." He chuckles in amusement as he continues to eavesdrop on their conversation. It's common for Space Stations to have ships and pods, especially for one as big as Herta's.
"Take all the supplies, the flower and everything! Don't forget the coffee beans!"
"Huh?" [Name] blurred out without thinking.
Standing up from his sitting position, he burst open the door. "Stop right there. You brutal criminals." He said casually as he put a finger gun on the side of his head and did a "fire" motion.
Taken aback by the sudden involvement, the group stood there in shock. Just who is this guy?
"Why don't you listen to the smart guy here, give up your plan and leave. Okay?" He continues, taking a seat at one of the desks as he begins making a cup of coffee on the machine next to him like it's a regular Tuesday.
"What..?"
"This is a gliding ship powered by Arcanum. To start it up... the whole Space Station's electric will be cut off for 5 hours." He explains casually as he made a latte art on his coffee.
Getting fed up with him, one of them pointed their weapon on the side of the scientist's head. "I don't care what you have to do, get this thing moving!"
[Name] merely chuckles in response. "Alright.. at your service.."
"Let the butterfly flap its wings and bring us the hurricane we need.."
BOOM!!
"The ship exploded?! What have you done?!"
"It's just another way to activate it, now say.. thank you, butterfly.." He smiles as he takes a sip of his coffee.
Just because he makes "useless inventions" doesn't mean he doesn't have a trick up his sleeve. Sometimes... [Name] took great advantage of their ignorance..
And Dr. Ratio... is one he takes delight in~
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 6 months
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I came back from the movie theaters (Fnaf Movie) My lord I FREAKING LOVED IT THE WHOLE THING IDC AHHH Ahem-
I saw that requests are open, SO a Platonic Headcanon Request if you don't mind, Fnaf (Movie) Animatronics with Gender-Neutral (17-soon to be 18) Reader as the new security guard? or maybe tags with Mike and possibly Abby? (Reader ain't tall just-idk 5'2 maybe I am projecting-)
(I know this request doesn't make sense because of the tiredness due to staying up late because of excitement. Feel free to delete this ask if its too complicated)
bonus: If you want to, You can also Include Chica's Cupcake
Have a nice day/night, From 📞 ☕ (PhoneCoffee) Anon
Oh I can definitely work with this ^^
......
When you started working at Freddy's overnight, you hoped this would be your last summer job ever before you turned 18.
"Steve" said it was all pretty straightforward: watch the cameras and make sure nobody broke in.
Easy as pizza pie, right?
Well, when you realized one of the animatronics very subtly moved from their usual spot, you wanted to check them out for yourself.
Plus, sitting in the office for six hours every night would def get boring as hell.
So you head to the main stage area, finding the whole gang mysteriously gone--Foxy included.
Then you get surprised by them emerging from different places in the pizzeria, eyes glowing a sinister yellow as they surround you, wary of your intentions.
"O-Oh hey..um..Fazgang?" You try your best not to look so terrified.
Surely someone was controlling them, right? They couldn't possibly hurt you.
Yet they stop and collectively realize "wait, isn't this a teenager? And why are they working this job??"
But since you're not wrecking anything in the pizzeria (or screaming bloody murder unlike the last guard), they spare you and are just very chill overall.
You now start to believe all the rumors of them being haunted by little children.....although not even that scares you.
On the second night, you learn that they can understand simple drawings--and that's how you pretty much communicate with them and build up trust.
While Bonnie is regarded as the "most aggressive", he was a real sweetheart who let you shine his guitar and hugged you tightly to express his thanks.
Alas you haven't found a way to stop it from constantly short-circuiting when he strums it...but you vow to figure something out.
Chica was equally as sweet, although for some reason Carl the Cupcake made you feel nervous.
The way he can be on the plate one moment and then disappear the next makes you worried that he'll sneak up on you and bite your ankles off.
But as long as Chica's around, that won't ever happen.
Although Foxy looks quite dangerous, you try your best to patch up the hole in his chest using some spare parts from backstage while being oblivious to the deadly Freddy mask saw trap in the corner, something he's grateful for.
He even sang you a little sea shanty as thanks!
Freddy was the first to be suspicious of you, but after seeing a drawing you made of him, he grows to like your presence, too. Especially after how nice you've been to his bandmates.
So you definitely survived more than five nights at this place--longer than anyone so far.
When Mike gets hired and comes in for his first shift with you, he's surprised that a teen is training him.
He suspects this was some lousy summer job you were forced to get and thinks you're gonna act miserable the entire time you work together and not actually teach him shit.
But as it turns out, you love your job!
You show him the Fazgang during their "showtime" performance and assure him that while they may look creepy, they're not bad at all.
And while you're not getting paid extra to do simple maintenance on them, you still enjoy trying to keep them in tip-top shape (especially Foxy, who needs repairs the most).
Mike seriously thinks you shouldn't be doing that as it's not in the job description AND it could be dangerous.
Even if you have expertise in robotics, he still thinks it's not worth losing a limb or finger to those complex contraptions.
Like he almost did after getting near a springlock suit.
But you just teasingly remind him who the trainer is..and he goes quiet.
Foxy overhears this, and you see him snickering from behind the Pirate's Cove curtain, amused by you basically schooling this 25-27 year old man.
Unfortunately he startled poor Mike, who looks over quickly.....only to find the fox standing in his usual position, acting completely normal.
"Was he just laughing at us...?"
"Nope." You play dumb, shrugging. "Must be his voice box malfunctioning....c'mon. Let's see if we can fix that."
Least to say, you're not gonna let him sleep on the job anytime soon.
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winternimbus · 3 months
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i don't often talk about transfem issues and transmisogyny by myself on this site (with the regards to me reblogging stuff from the girlies to essentially keep the rent low) because the real meat of what i discuss is usually reserved between my friends and i over on discord and my personal discord but considering the recent influx of shit getting slung at outspoken transfems, and other TMA people on this site--i'm making an exception to my clause because great googly moogly it got bad here, huh! i have anons off for a good reason but the aforementioned influx of things getting sent to outspoken transfems & TMA people here in regards to that pretentious ass "public service announcement diagnosing you with baeddelism" or whatever terminally online goobledygook that you can only find in insular as all high hell online spaces with a predominant TME population. putting aside the very clear underlined corrective r/pe statement in that message--the statement of viewing trans women as objects to be sexualized is very clear, and i don't think the statement that "most people don't view trans women as women, rather objects to be debated about, sexualized, or stomped underfoot entirely" needs to be repeated here. years of having to sit through that fucking debate about astolfo and ferris argyle really does one hell of a number to you when you're the one directly effected by that transmisogynistic stereotype--even if from what i'm aware, there has been a focused effort to reclaim those two characters the other clear issue is that the modern-day queer community was founded by black trans women. are you doing marsha p johnson any favors by going into the dms of trans women and basically going "hahaha no don't be vocal about issues that you firsthand face in the queer community have sex with me instead :)", especially in a time of unfettered and unchecked transmisogyny, and rampant anti-trans legislation that can and WILL personally effect you and people you know--if you don't make an organized, focused effort to stop it? that being said, the unspoken rule is that when a marginalized group of people are speaking about issues that they personally face--you don't stick your nose up and argue with them. you sit down and listen to them. because they know what they're talking about. apologies if this is long and a bit unfocused and/or disorganized. i'm understandably very miffed about all of this, and i needed to get my thoughts out on this all. something something trans men are the men of the trans community. something something saint-dionysus and nothorses and their consequences have been disastrous for the queer community as a whole
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schrodinger-swriter · 3 months
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Can I Ask for Husks fluff alphabet?
A, C, I, J, K, N, P, Z preatty please?🥺
(I'm sorry I almost hit the limit. I'm obsessed with him😭)
A, C, I, J, K, N, P, and Z for Husk
No need to apologize! If I wanted a smaller limit I would have said so in the original post! Nothing wrong in wanting to get the most out of something C:
I hope you enjoy this, Anon, it was fun playing with Husk's personality in this! He reminds me of a grumpy grandfather.
Confession, I thought for the longest time Husk was a.. well dog. I.. Don't know why I thought that, perhaps it's the face markings and his name being "Husk" (Like Husky) that caused my confusion. For two years after the pilot I was... rather dumb..
What do you mean Husk is 75.
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ATTRACTION:
He enjoys those who are more honest with themselves and aren't pushovers. He can hardly stand those in denial. He calls it as he sees it when he's pushed to do so. This is less of an attraction thing, but I feel he would be most compatible with someone he can be real with and can be able to deal with his bluntness. In a way, you keep each other in check.
CUDDLES:
Small and soft, warm too. He's a cat, so it feels like snuggling into a large cat! I don't think he would be too deep into PDA, the most he would be comfortable with doing is quick kisses when someone else is passing by.. usually... more on that later. Though, now that it's mentioned, I don't think he would be too big on physical affection all that much.. now don't get me wrong he loves a good back massage every now and then, but it's going to take him a while to curl up next to you for cuddling. Little spoon.
INJURY:
Would ask you what the hell happened while wrapping your wound.. Goes from scolding you for being a jackass if you just. Threw yourself into danger, but will go on to say you have some guts. Stern when it comes to you taking it easy so you can heal properly... is not phased by any false play ups of your pain, though depending on his mood he might let it pass. For a bit..
If he's the one injured he's stubborn, insisting that it's not that big of a deal. Dresses and cleans it appropriately, all while nursing a bottle of booze. Dismissive when talking about what led to the injury. Might be a little standoffish if you try to take care of him, especially if you come off as trying to baby him.
JEALOUSY:
He deals with his jealousy the same way he deals with all of his other problems. Alcohol. He sees another man chatting you up? Alcohol. Sees you laughing a little too much at some chumps joke? Alcohol. Someone talks brings up how you seem so lively around another person? Alcohol. I think you get the point. However, if it's a case of you being pushed into a situation you don't want to be in, he's going to pick up on your discomfort and drag you away... does not make it seem like you have somewhere else to be, no, he just tells the other person to fuck off as he takes you away. His fur sometimes fluffs up in annoyance. Pulling that pin from the C section, in regards to PDA, he will tug you to his side to further push the effect that you're taken.
KISSES:
Bunny kisses. You know, you two touch noses and nuzzle a bit. He doesn't allow it often, but it is something you two do every now and again. He defaults to kissing you on the mouth, quick pecks usually aren't for him, though... Sometimes leans over the counter of his bar to steal a kiss when no one else is around. This goes for both giving and receiving!
NO:
He can't be with someone who heavily relies on physical touch, it's simply not for him and he can only compromise so much. That's not to say he wouldn't try, because he would. However you can only sacrifice your comfort so much before it becomes a problem, you know? I don't think he would do well with people who complain.. not vent, more so whine about everything. He seems far too irritable to be able to deal with that in his day to day, outside of the bar.
As for actual deal breakers within an established relationship... I think it would have to be a stubborn person. Funny, coming from him since he's stubborn. But Husk appears to still go with the flow of everything, even eventually befriending the rest of the cast. No, when I say stubborn I mean people who can't take their heads out of their asses to see that there's other things to worry about and shit like that. He can only give you so many reality checks before throwing in the towel. Bonus negative points if combined with the complaining thing.
PETNAMES:
Do not call him "Kitten" he might actually be upset by that. On top of that, it's so... basic... predictable. It's not special. No, something that basic wouldn't work on him... and that's not considering the fact he himself isn't too big on petnames. Though.. seeing that he died in the 70s, I enjoy that the thought that he defaults to names from that decade. I believe he would call you "Dollface" or even just "Doll"
It'd take him a while to grow used to the idea of being called anything other than his.. name.. but he looks like a "Pumpkin" or a "Lovey"
.. just don't call him that around Angel, he won't hear the end of it..
ZZZ:
Tends to sleep either sprawled out of curled into a ball. Really it depends, though more often than not he sleeps sprawled out. Doesn't like being held while he sleeps, so cuddling while you guys doze off is off the table. Though, he wouldn't mind you scratching between his ears or shoulder blades sometimes... maybe you'll even hear him purr. Will take a decent amount of time before you get to the "sleeping in the same bed" stage. Old man snores, so good luck with that.
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Hello, you’ve asked to send in the prompt when full hc are open so messaging as a reminder
‘M6 reaction to an Mc who has experienced abuse before
Showing signs like flinching or unexplained irritability, anxiety ‘
The Arcana HCs: M6 when MC is recovering from abuse
~ thank you for the reminder anon friend! and my own reminder to whoever's reading this, nobody deserves to be broken like this. there is better, and you deserve better. ~
CW for references to memories of verbal, emotional, and physical abuse, (yelling, vague violence, control, emotional manipulation) and to nontoxic behavior triggering those memories unintentionally
Julian
In all the craziness of your whirlwind romance, you two never really got to talk about your own poor relationship experiences
It just didn't come up, and then life was golden, so golden that there wasn't a point to remembering all that pain and and fear
Until he made you flinch
Completely, entirely on accident, of course, but the full-body wince and the wash of fear across your face was enough to make his heart leap into his throat. What happened, what - why?
He's a flamboyant man. He likes large, theatrical gestures, and as entertaining as they're meant to be, sometimes the sight of an outstretched hand hurtling through the air is anything but
And now he's shaking with a combination of overwhelming guilt and white-hot rage. It gnaws at his bones and boils in his veins, pushing him to make things okay and asking if he has the right to
He's immediately switching to a quiet, shaky voice, asking you first to forgive him for scaring you, and then asking if you'd be willing to tell him more about it between apologies
You know your doctor would never willingly hurt you, and you know this is something you can trust him with, but you don't expect how angry he is. He'll rave about how wrong it was if you let him
He does his best to tone down the gestures, and is always, always ready to remind you how cherished you deserve to be
Asra
They already knew about the past before you two began your relationship - there's a reason you haven't seen or heard a single thing about the source of your pain since you came back
And as long as he was your caretaker, and then your friend, you never had cause to worry because of him. But then things became romantic, and well - some things were easier to deal with before
You love their spontaneity and daydreamy presence, but that level of unpredictability is difficult to interpret when the object of your affections regularly forgets to communicate
Are they just that deeply lost in thought, daydreaming for hours on end, or are they studiously ignoring your attempts to connect?
Is this really a sudden "just because I love you" show of affection, or is it time to brace yourself for some awful things to come?
You know with a heart like his beating steadily in your chest, there's no real doubt when it comes to how deeply and faithfully and purely he loves you. All it takes is a flick of magic to remember
But you also know how terrifying unpredictability can be, and you find yourself on occasion slipping into a fawning state out of habit
They catch on almost immediately, hating the way you suddenly seem to be tiptoeing around them, and push past their nature to bring it out into the open so they can reassure you
So happy to adjust it's hard to believe you were ever nervous
Nadia
She picked up on several signals as she was courting you, and while she didn't want to make you uncomfortable, she didn't hesitate to bring them up. Tell her as much as you're willing to
Of course, her first response was to lay out her own intentions and expectations regarding the relationship she wanted to build with you. She wants you to keep her accountable to giving you the best
It really has felt like a thing of the past ever since, with one exception that you really don't know how to bring up
Your beloved Countess has a very commanding presence. It's one of the many things you adore about her, but on occasion, it has the unintended effect of making you feel stifled - controlled
Announcing a dinner that night which you hadn't been aware of. Selecting your outfits for you. Making a strong opinion known before asking for your perspective, challenging you to disagree
Things that you know come from a place of love and respect, but that remind you a bit too much of a time when there was neither
She picks up on it more slowly than she would've liked to, the way you seem to shrink just a little bit smaller when she tries to help
To her, you're a capable, intelligent, strong person, and the thought hadn't occurred that you might prefer your choices be protected, even from herself. She's humbled. And she loves you
Makes extra sure to make space for you, all of you, every moment
Muriel
For such a large man, he moves unexpectedly quietly
Here are the other things he does quietly: thinking, eating, breathing, resting, working, sleeping ... everything ...
And sometimes, all that quiet starts to feel less like you're around an introverted gentle giant, and more like the silent treatment
Which means you must have done something wrong
But you don't know what you did wrong, and when you live with someone as extremely conflict averse as Muriel, you know that getting him to tell you what you did wrong is very hard to do
And so the anxiety spiral begins, attempting to fix a habit or adjust a behavior, only for the silence to stretch on, and on, and on ...
Muriel, on the other hand, knows that something is bothering you but isn't sure what it is. It was easy to pick up during your time together that your life hadn't been all sunshine and rainbows either
But he's not one to pry, or to do anything that might trigger you, and knowing how much space to himself helps him sort things out, he makes sure to give you as much of that as possible
He doesn't realize that it's not what you need until you approach him one day, clearly distressed, and worriedly ask what you've done wrong. You haven't done anything wrong
He's still quiet, but he's picked up a habit of humming now, so that even in the quiet moments aren't completely silent
Portia
It wasn't hard for her to tell that you weren't used to the type of romantic relationship that made your life better and not worse. Curiosity aside, she wants to know so she understand you better
She wants this opportunity to show you the excitement and healing of finally finding your partner-in-crime. And she does!
This woman is nothing if not passionate
Why hide your emotions when they make you stronger? Why hold back? Why suppress yourself when there's so much color and life and excitement in this world?
There's just ... one tiny issue
Her unbridled emotional intensity is one of her strongest assets and one of the things that gives you the strength and courage to push through the darkest moments
However, it does at times remind you of a much less controlled and safe intensity that was often directed straight at you, designed more to frighten you than to communicate with you
Sudden excited tackle-hugs feel a bit too much like being grabbed and pinned. Vocal expressions of anger at another person's poor behavior feel like a lead up to being blamed for it somehow
Being as empathetic as she is, Portia picks up on this almost instantly and barely needs to be told what you need to feel safe
Besides, she can always go rant at her unsuspecting brother
Lucio
There are some things that this delightful work in progress of a man won't notice until he gets hit in the face with them
Examples include things like "if the usual opinion around making deals with demons is negative, it's probably for a good reason" or "oopsies have consequences, sometimes"
There's no doubt that he loves you and that he's wholeheartedly committed to protecting you. These are things that he's loud and proud about reminding you. Emphasis on loud. He likes to yell!
Whether to emphasize a point or to express an emotion, or just because he's in the woods/at a party/going shopping and that's what you do when you're in that space, his default volume is 95%
And as much as you know the volume is exactly that - a default - it too often feels like a warning instead. Like someone wants nothing in your ears except what they have to say to you
Lucio doesn't realize the effect he's having until he starts to feel unheard, ironically enough. It's like you don't talk back to him anymore, like he's back in that twilight zone of being unheard
When he tells you his stories, you don't interject, you don't add your own embellishments, you don't seem caught up in it
It's his question, "why won't you talk to me?", that has everything tumbling out into the open. He's furious that you got so much less than you deserved, and hurt that he hurt you
... Would you like to yell with him, next time?
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upsidedownwithsteve · 2 months
Text
A message.
I’d like to start by saying once more (due to it being the cause of so many hateful messages) that I support Palestine.
I donate to charities that fund several of the organisations that help and I use my business in the best way I can to give my services for free to fundraisers that also raise money for these causes. Shy of showing you my personal bank statements and private emails between myself and my clients, I don’t have any ways of showing this on tumblr.
I have several social media platforms, I have a business that I run, I have friends and family I talk to, I have an entire life off of this website. I choose to use tumblr to post my writing and for the most part, it’s become a really important space for me. Writing is one of the few things I truly do for myself. I enjoy it immensely and it can really bring me a lot of peace.
I choose not to blog anything other my writing, other people’s writing and general fandom related things on my blog because I like to keep it as that small space for myself and one of the things I love most. I understand wholly that that is a privilege in itself and I will not shy away from that fact.
However, I will not condone being hunted for the choices I make. For the vast majority of you, I am a stranger online and no one, absolutely no one, knows what I do off of this website. I won’t allow anyone to judge me on what they don’t see and don’t understand.
The size of my following was not a choice I made, it was not something I deliberately aimed for and it was not something I tried hard to make sure I achieved. It wasn’t the goal of this blog. I don’t deem myself capable of “influencing” anyone in anyway. I’m a fanfiction writer. I’m not a politician, I don’t claim to be the most educated person on political and worldwide matters. I simply would like to believe that everyone tries to help in anyway they can. I know not everyone has the financial means to donate and instead they choose to raise awareness in other ways - that’s absolutely okay.
But I - and others - do not have to follow the rule book someone else deemed law. You see, I gave my views and reasons and it wasn’t good enough. And now, if I chose to reblog certain things, I’m pretty sure I’d be dragged for being performative, or “back tracking.” I fear that with some people, who like to hide behind an anonymous button, I cannot win. Despite an argument revolving around real life issues, I think I can safely say it came across as a very personal attack.
As other people have mentioned before, I also don’t enjoy the idea of writing smut and happy ever after’s about our favourite fictional men and then reblogging the death of others in real life straight after. I know that’s the world right now. I’m aware. I read articles, I watch the news, I follow accounts on Twitter, on Instagram and I try and keep myself as up to date and as educated as possible. I just don’t show that on this one platform.
As many of you know, I do run my own business. I’m also five months pregnant. I’m definitely experiencing more stress than I usually do. I’m very happy and enjoying my pregnancy immensely but I struggled with sickness and tiredness for the majority of it so far. Whats to come in the next four months and beyond fills me with excitement and anxiety and nerves. Coming onto tumblr and writing about fiction is a little reprieve from that - again, a privilege I am so aware of.
But I won’t be tolerating any more hateful messages, I won’t be arguing with anyone. I’m not lowering myself to it. You can talk about me passively aggressively, you can choose to hate me, that’s fine. I’m happy blocking people and moving on. Anons will be off indefinitely, it’s been proven that too many people are willing to hide behind them. After the messages regarding myself and my unborn child, quite frankly, there’s not a lot of trust left when it comes to knowing how far people will sink.
I’ve said all I’d like to say on the matter, I’ve told people where I stand, my views on the genocide that is occurring, what I’m able to do about it in my personal life and why I choose to keep this particular space the way I do.
I hope everyone can try to understand and respect that. If you don’t, that’s fine, that’s your prerogative. I don’t go out of my way to challenge, or police, or demand things from people I do not know. I hope that no one thinks that they have the right to do that to myself and others. I’m under no obligation to follow someone else’s rules.
I don’t know what the future holds for this blog, pregnancy and real life is very much taking priority over writing at the moment, but I do like to try when I can. I can’t lie either, the messages and their content that I received really left me feeling dejected and frustrated, this fandom really has turned into something rather poisonous. I’d like to be able to rise above it and in the mean time, even if I’m not always present, I’d like people to be able to access the stories I worked really hard on.
Thank you for reading,
Emmy 🧡
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