#freaks me out so completely

[bastardlybonkers]

feetman

#hlvrai #half live vr but the ai is self aware #gordon freeman #gordon feetman #so idk if theres any like ‘metastory’ to there being a player or if its literally just supposed to be wayne #but i thought it would be kinda interesting for the player to be his own guy #cause like to me #a big part of it that makes it fun is that gordon has like #no actual stakes #dude is getting pissed for the sake of it #he knows its a game and is just freaking out at the ai being so alive u know #now since i cant remember if theres some kind of canon or metastory to the player you can completely decide for yourself why hes playing #or how he got the game #is he just some guy? is it an experiment? is it for his job? who knows! #hes The Player #also if ur wondering why his design is so similar to gordons #its cause i didnt wanna stray into the unrecognizable lmao #also. i really really really didnt wanna draw the fucking suit #and yes thats benrey on the tamagotchi #i think it would be very funny if he could cart them all around in tamagotchis #sorry for long tags

[inkskinned]

it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.

yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.

it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.

how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.

chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?

how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.

"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.

i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.

#writeblr #warm up #i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books #(just started book 4) #and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!! #(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. ) #anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild #but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild??? #so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning #and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go #anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct #i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers #i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page. #here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once #it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because #when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area. #i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that #a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN #who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends #i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!

[thankstothe]

#house md #gregory house #james wilson #screencap #s07e01 “Now What?” #one of the thing that bothered me about canon huddy #is it feels too close to the unrealness of s5 finale #just huddy becoming canon does not feel like it would be enough to offset all the issues house had building up in s6 finale #hes not even a bit bitter about wilson throwing him out anymore and it certainly wasn't just a cover for huddy #left unresolved #last patient's death unresolved (you can say it delayed if youre a pedant) #the overall stress from that wrecked building - unresolved #all this skipped overnight #even more of a rocky start to this relationship would be better #cuddy too #this is so ooc for both of them #like their characters got reset #i do wonder how proper huddy would look like in canon #like it wouldnt work long term either #but in s7 it just went too smooth #what does cuddy even gets out of it besides the initial thrill? #she is a freak and workaholic in a completely different way to house #literal mother #and an authoruty figure #they would clash so bad so fast it would be glorious #maybe it would be better if she didnt make it and house was already back on vicodin in the bathroom #also would give deniability to ooc moments #dont mind me *watching perfect house md in my brain*

[emomomortal]

DOODLE DUMP!!!! a screenshot redraw, two sillies and a sneaky sari

everytime i draw her she's up to something. why's that

#tfa #transformers animated #tfa bumblebee #tfa sari sumdac #tfa sari #sari sumdac #nature calls i love you foreva #ALSO I SAW THE SPY X FAM MOVIE YESTERDAY #COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT IN THE THEATER #YOU GUYS SHOULD GO WATCH #ME AND MY BESTIE GOT THE PREMIERE CARD AND EVERYTHING #i love it so much. anya i loev you #anyway bee and sari? yeah. siblings. best duo of the century. mic drop

[hoaxghost]

Puts this here ✨’:B

OH MY GOD!!!!?!?!? THIS IS SO ASTOUNDING AND GORGEOUS THANK YOU SO MUCH?!?!? I wanna print this out on my wall SO MUCH 💖💖💖💙💖💖💖💙💙💖💖💖💙💖💖💖💙💖💫⭐💙💖💖

#art for me #file recovery #on the train atm freaking out this is so amazing thank you so much????????? #cant get over this..the lighting the colours ... you draw him so beautifully like this is the exact level of etherealness he posesses #pinkiepig #not my art #my ocs #crying in the club rn showed this to jagga like immediately #hes so pretty....my complete nerd of an old man....

[tart-miano]

re-entering the cirque du freak fandom in 2023 be like

#tw eye strain #cirque du freak #the saga of darren shan #im sure the manga version is particularly expensive bc its out of print or something- #but gd what a bummer! i remember back in the 2010s i could buy all of em at a used book store for like 5$ a pop #and now im so disappointed in myself for not picking them up when i could T-T #to y'all its probably no fucking surprise i read this is my formative years?? #if you've seen my J&H ocs you'll likely find my version of Hyde bears a resemblance to manga!Steve lmao #it was completely unintentional during the designing process but ig this series was more formative for me than i thought bc i unconciously- #mimicked that style??? soul eater lookin ass

[chandralia]

this is gonna change lives (again!!!!)

#let me tell you about the leaks that night… first of all I was asleep #dfhkhdsgj when I woke up I looked at the summary and my eyes IMMEDIATELY jumped to Bakugo’s name #IT HAD BEEN SO LONG SINCE WE HAD SEEN HIM LIKE 15-ISH WEEKS???? #(​it was also the last time the og Atsu ever did leaks) #people were freaking out about ‘hokan’ meaning ‘complete’ #’the only person who can complete Midoriya Izuku is…’ THEN BAKUGO SHOWING UP LIKE AN ANGEL OUT OF THE SKY #antis and dudebros tried to downplay Bakugo being the one to find Deku by saying it was actually Toga because of the shape of his pupils 😭😭 #bkdk was reuinited and all was right in the world and we’re gonna experience it again soon !! 🥲 #in the anime AND manga 🥺 #bkdk #dkbk #bakudeku #dekubaku #:’)

[dolldefaced]

it's so wild that the priest part is what people latched onto and remember when flashpoint!jason both was a drug addict and then was in brother blood's apocalypse cult before he died. and then resurrected again.

#sometimes i see people just freaking out about the priest part and its like there are more bizarre things afoot! the priest is the normalest #now if its to forget those other two things i completely get it #really hate the backstory though cause it just feeds into the Without Bruce He'd be A Criminal which is classist as hell #as it stands none of that needed to be there. it doesnt matter to traci's story imo #so why say any of that and not just do oh yeah the church helped me when i was young. like very sus dc #anyway. yeah #jason todd #dc

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

[icy-book]

Consider, if you will, AU (either with canon post-s1 pre-s2 events but D.A.D.D.I.E.S. solves things before season 2 would start, or no Doodler/betrayal but Nicky still has to leave because FBI or other reasons) in which Terry Jr is the full time drama teacher for Teen High. Nicky returns from wherever he's been and is like "Well I want to be an active part of my kid's life and try and make up for lost time. I should go to his parents' evening, find out how he's doing in school, and meet his teachers. Especially this Mr Marlowe guy, Taylor seems to think he's awesome." And walking right into that classroom/hall to find his ex-boyfriend best friend sitting there in a dorky sweater and tie combo

Cue Terry, without missing a beat, greeting them as if nothing is wrong

Internal: when the FUCK did he come back and oh my god this is so awkward fuck I have to be professional how do I tell this guy that his kid is a loveable little shit after everything that's happened oh god oh fuck

Externally: "Hello Taylor and Mr Close-Foster-Freeman. I'm Taylor's drama teacher" *shakes hand* "Would you like to take a seat?"

#Nicky: I should go to Taylor's parents evening #Cassandra knowing full well that Terry is the drama teacher: you know what that sounds like a great idea #Both Terry Jr and Nicky afterwards sent her the So was anyone going to tell me blank meme #Nicky spending that night freaking out to Cass like #Did he get hotter??? I swear he got hotter in the 13 years I've been away #It's not fair Cass his eyes are even pretty in the school's shitty lights that they don't have the budget to fix #He looks so good in a tie Cassie. WHY DOES HE LOOK SO GOOD IN A TIE #Also when the fuck did he get married #WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE HAS A DAUGHTER #....Cass he would be so good with kids I think I'm going to die #(Nicky was wrong as Terry is so bad with teenagers) #Cassandra completely unimpressed just trying to do her woodwork #But also very indulgent towards her ex-husband's tomfoolery #Nicky: do you think his wife is okay with poly relationships #Cassandra: a) I'm pretty sure Terry would require a minimum of 6 months joint and individual therapy for both of you #Before you can start dating again #And b) if she is let me know because Veronica is a Snacc #I have many thoughts about this if you can't tell #Which I may expand on it requested #terry jr #dungeons and daddies #terry stampler #dndads #terry jr stampler #dndads s2 #dndads terry jr #nicholas foster #nick close #nicky freeman #nicky close foster

[shinolavolume1]

non humanoid/non sentient alien lifeforms coming to earth and causing weird scary crap that u dont know how to stop is my favorite kind of horror movie but they dont really make those that much anymore let alone good ones. except for nope. which i did enjoy

#like. no alien invasion shit #just a weird animal from space causing a ruckus #and i know theres plenty of garbage from the 40s and 50s like that people got it out of their systems pretty quick #and its not even a horror movie but arrival is the type of shit i love/freaks me the F out #an intelligent lifeform being so completely inconceivable to the human brain and trying to communicate with ig

[introspectivememories]

too many whump fics about the 2023 qatar gp and not enough fics where the ghost of niki lauda haunts the drivers into striking

#qatar gp 2023 #just rewatched the race and jfc.... #me on my hands and knees throughout the entire race: save me niki lauda save me #specifically niki lauda needs to haunt george russell. he needs to show up behind george in the hotel mirror scaring the shit out of him #he needs to do it so thoroughly that george russell thinks he's in some kind of dickensian novel #he needs to freak george out so badly george shows up at lewis' hotel room looking a mess #lewis a little freaked out: ... what's goin on man? #george hair a mess eyes bloodshot nervously looking around: niki lauda wont leave me alone #lewis completely freaked out now: what. #george more insistently: he's haunting me man! he keeps calling for a strike. i cant sleep i cant eat o cant do anything! #lewis manages to get george to go to sleep. but the next morning his bathroom mirror is covered in toothpaste writing #it says 'you guys need to strike!' lewis is now a believer #f1 #niki lauda

[dyed-red]

one thing that always makes me ???? about the pilot is john's motel room.

he left his photo of him and the boys, he left his journal which the cops got, he left his freaking jacket. literally did not take the clothes jacket off his back. which is.... ????

if the demons (i.e., azazel and co) were literally on his ass to the extent that he had to drop everything, like everything, and run, wouldn't he have maybe given a heads up to sam and dean that Danger Was Imminent? or was he so entirely confident that they wouldn't be targeted and that only he himself was in danger, so he actually did drop everything and run but felt fine not even leaving a voicemail?

(if he thought that, uhhhh, just looking at jess, over here, and not saying anything).

like i get the narrative reason and function, but with all that in mind, the in-universe explanation that i land on is pretty much that john deliberately made it look like he had to drop everything and run. that he was in imminent, immediately, life-threatening danger, and this charade was mostly for dean. the logic of which is just... wild.

#john is a bit unhinged #thoughts and comments welcome #like did he think he was in that much danger? #but if so maybe let the boy(s) know? #and i know he was trying to keep them out of it but how is disappearing without a trace #going to *not* make dean go to the exact motel room you were last seen at? #which could make him inadvertently cross paths with the exact demons on your trail? #which loops me back around to john believing that the demons wouldn't hurt dean #and i guess maybe that john being so deep underground that even dean can't reach him #makes him think dean wouldn't be taken hostage by demons to smoke him out of hiding #which is a freaking gamble my dude #tbh i think dean going to get sam was a huge wildcard for john #just this completely unexpected swerve that threw off his plan and put dean (and sam) in the line of fire #sam was in the line of fire anyway though #john was probably just lying to himself thinking he could stop the YED before sam got hurt #anyway #my meta #phyn rambles #phyn rambles in the tags #pilot

[juriyuna]

Some of the things Yuu says in her old diary entries about how "irreparably broken" she is, how she's scared that she corrupted Kei too, the intrusive thoughts about the time she accidentally squished a lizard as a kid, and all of the shame she feels about... everything, really, smells a lot like OCD to me.

Same for her paranoia about other people knowing the "real her", and her obsessive fear of moving on from the past or losing her sense of self. OCD is stupidly good at convincing your brain that crazy leaps of logic like this are, in fact, perfectly sensible. Morality OCD in particular likes to tell you that you're disgusting and/or dangerous and then make up reasons why this is irrefutably true, even if the thought of hurting people makes you feel upset or guilty. It's an endless cycle of constantly judging and second-guessing yourself and everything around you.

Unfortunately, while she and Kei fully accept each other's mental health issues, they also keep enabling one another's weird thought processes. Without any outside support or interference, this feedback loop simultaneously comforts them and drives them further into the mud, no doubt compounded by the fact that being a teenager is notoriously hard to begin with.

YMMV, everyone's got their own interpretations, but I think it's an interesting lens to view Yuu (and to an extent, Kei) through.

#magia record #yumeno yuusa #in grade... 11? we were supposed to dissect a frog or a worm or something #i don't remember exactly which animal it was #but i had to go home and study diagrams for my lab instead (custom assignment) because i couldn't do it #part of it is that i was squeamish but i had somehow gotten it in my head that if i was comfortable cutting up a dead animal #i would eventually become desensitized and have no issues cutting up myself or other humans too #the thought freaked me out so bad & i was so petrified of becoming Evil(tm) that i cried just thinking about it #maybe i'm projecting but some of yuu's self-perception and intrusive thoughts give me a similar vibe #not 1:1 obviously but similar #completely unwanted items are eating up yuu's entire fucksbudget

[distraughtlesbian]

literally the best part of this whole stupid book iwlove weird obsessed horndogs thee villain archetype of all time. he’s so silly. “we could’ve had a life together”, he says to his lesbian ex-neighbour who he’s just shot with a crossbow bolt meanwhile her girlfriend who he’s also just shot is half dead across the room. god i love it here he said me and the bad bitch im going to fumble

#WHAT A FUCKING FREAK IJBOL!!!!!! #MORE PSYCHOSEXUALLY OBSESSED WEIRDO VILLAINS PIXELBERRY I KNOW YOU HAVE IT IN U. #their villains are usually so cringe and one note at least this one is memorable #mind you this could have used more buildup. up until like chapter 19 he still had the benefit of the doubt #his ass was NOT beating the twist villain allegations but the fucking freak allegations were a whole separate beast #and he could be presumed innocent in those. like sure i guess these are just average fanatic werewolf hunter antics. #like EYE had my suspicions. him sending that frat bro to sexually harass mc was a fucking freak move #but like in general he was coming off as someone who was just a normal amount of concerned about a friend of theirs falling in w a cult #like girl why am i following my cringe fwb into the pool house to be all ‘babe this isnt u :(’ #i dont CARE i wanna go engage with the twist antagonist who at this point my mc still thinks is kind of normal/their friend!!! #but alas that’s just pb for you. we WILL NOT stick a landing ever. they make all the new writers swear to never write a villain that makes #sense or is well foreshadowed. ONLY side characters who you would never suspect bc they have like 5 lines in the whole book. #like you’ll never be duffy veilofsecrets you’ll never recapture that magic. #anyway. markus choicesalpha the fucking weirdo cringefail stalker incel loser you could have been…kermit looking out rainy window dot png #maeve speaks #playchoices #choices #pixelberry #choices alpha #channing lowe #markus barnes #side note this whole thing probably has a Much different vibe with a male mc #but as it is it’s like ijbol. channing is cringe and emotionally unavailable but how could you POSSIBLY compare to a buff werewolf bitch #he is so completely not a contender that its comedic to me. you think WE could have had a LIFE TOGETHER? #even if my mc had never ever met channing SHE IS A LESBIAN!!!! SHES GAY DUDE STOP IT LOL #and with a female mc and male channing its like yeah whatever average incel number 10 billion. wow youre going to kill me bc some other guy #is hotter than you? eyeroll. at least channing canonically gives great head.

[franky-y]

the berlin gig is two days away and my anxiety is now going through the roof. i feel sick to my stomach and part of me wants to bail and not go at all. i hate this

#i knew this would happen... #i want to be excited #but instead i feel like throwing up #ugh #the thought of going there alone is freaking me out so much #and i've also never been to a concert before #and i'm the kind of person who needs as many information as possible beforehand #so i can (mentally) prepare myself for it #so not knowing how exactly everything is going to be like #doesn't help my nerves either #anyway it's past 3 am here i'm going to sleep #before i drive myself completely crazy #käärijä