fb incorrect quotes
Rin: Haru... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Haru: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Rin:
Rin: I wrote sanitize, Haru.
Rin: Haru was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.
Haru: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.
Rin: Haru, you ate a chair.
Mine, struggling to keep upright in her 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me
Ayame, pointing at her and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.
Shigure: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.
Kyo: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Tohru isn’t
Rin: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Kyo: I'm a knife.
Tohru, from across the room: He’s the little spoon.
Store Worker: Would a Ms, Rin please come to the front desk?
Rin, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker: points to Haru and Momiji
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
Haru and Momiji, simultaneously: We got lost :(
Rin: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-
Kyo: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Tohru : >:O language
Yuki: Yeah watch your fucking language
Haru: OKAY WHO TAUGHT YUKI THE FUCK WORD?
Rin : 'The fuck word'.
Momiji: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Yuki: Oh my god they censored it
Rin : Say fuck, Momiji.
Haru: Do it, Momiji. Say fuck.
Kyo: Rules are made to be broken.
Yuki: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Haru: Uh, piñatas.
Momiji: Glow sticks.
Tohru: Karate boards.
Rin: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Kyo: Rules.
Yuki:
Kyo: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Yuki: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents
Kyo: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Haru: Actually I did the math, Yuki would have $225, not $0.15.
Yuki: I’m right here....
Momiji: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Kyo: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Momiji: Sorry I only have a dollar
Kyo: fuck u
Haru: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Yuki would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Momiji: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Haru: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Tohru: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Haru: Apply juice to what
Rin: Directly to the forehead
Yuki: Great chat everyone
Tohru: Rin, can I talk to you for a second?
Rin: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Kyo are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?
Tohru: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.
Rin: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.
Tohru: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
Rin: Absolutely not.
Kakeru: *Accidentally hits Yuki in the face*
Kakeru: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*
Kakeru: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!
Yuki : What’s wrong with you?!
Kakeru: I made tea.
Yuki : I don’t want tea.
Kakeru: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.
Yuki : Then why are you telling me?
Kakeru: It is a conversation starter.
Yuki : That’s a lousy conversation starter.
Kakeru: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.
Haru: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*
Yuki : What did you do?
Haru: Nobody died.
Yuki : WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
Yuki: Haru...
Haru: Oh no, 'Haru' in b-flat.
Haru: You're disappointed.
Rin: You often use humor to deflect trauma
Haru: Thank you
Momiji: She didn't say that was a good thing
Haru: What I'm hearing is, you both think I'm funny
Haru: I wasn’t that drunk last night.
Momiji: You were flirting with Rin
Haru: So what? She’s my partner.
Momiji: You asked her if her were single.
Haru:
Momiji: And then you cried when she said she weren't.
Rin: We need a distraction.
Haru: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
Momiji, whispering: My time has come
Hatori: This is such a bad idea.
Shigure: Then why are you coming along?
Hatori: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.
Shigure: How's the sexiest person here~?
Hatori: I don't know-
Ayame, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!
Hatori, driving Haru and Momiji: So how was your day?
Momiji: We almost got surprise adopted!
Hatori: What?
Haru: We almost got kidnapped.
Hatori: Oh, okay.
Hatori: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!
171 notes
·
View notes
fruits basket characters as things my friends have said
tohru: sometimes i feel like if i blink wrong my eyeballs will fall out
kyo: if i had a pussy id sell it for adderall
yuki: stock market boys are hot like okay mr wolf of wall street rawr
haru: oh yeah i stole this piece of metal from a construction site. i hope they didn’t need it that bad
shigure: why on gods green earth would you take a business call in a park and then smoke a blunt right after. it’s 2pm. it’s Tuesday.
hiro: it’s past my bedtime but this song is so good
*trash can got run over* rin: i wish that was me fr
also kyo: naw the second i see blood on my dick i am running into the street butt naked and jumping on the first person i see i don’t fuck w that
25 notes
·
View notes
Incorrect Quotes || Anime Edition ||
Y/N: Wow, it’s a barren featureless wasteland out there isn’t it?
Hakkai: … Y/N, try turning the map around.
{anime-Saiyuki}
•+•
Young Ichigo: I’m sorry I ate your candy.
Young Y/N: I’m sorry I pushed you off the bench.
Ichigo: It’s okay.
Ichigo: Wait. When did you-
Y/N: *Pushes Ichigo off the bench*
{anime-Bleach}
•+•
Y/N: We dream of summertime during winter. We yearn for winter during summer. What fatal flaw has God injected the human psyche with? Why must we always strive for the thing furthest away from us?
Tsume: …Are you okay?
Y/N: My hands are freezing off here, Tsume.
{anime-Wolfs Rain}
•+•
Miroku: You’re mad at me.
Y/N: I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.
Miroku: Oh, come on. Everyone knows that’s worse
{anime-Inyuasha}
•+•
Y/N: Woah, woah, woah. You think I’m into Kyo?
Yuki: Yes, Y/N, I do because you are.
Tohru: You mentioned his name nine times in the last ten minutes.
{anime-Fruits Basket}
•+•
Y/n: You’re supposed to be learning how to be good. So no more of….this.
Sesshomaru: You just gestured to all of me
{anime-Inyuasha}
•+•
Y/n: I can hold the whole world in my hands.
Kougaiji, unconvinced: Oh yeah?
Y/n: *holds Kougaiji's face in their hands*
Kougaiji: *voice breaking* I have a reputation to uphold.
{anime-Saiyuki}
•+•
Y/n: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Ichigo: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Y/n: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING CHAD WITH ME
Rukia, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now
{anime-Bleach}
•+•
Hakkai: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.
Gojyo: This knife is actually a magic wand.
Goku: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.
Sanzo: *cocks gun* Magic missile.
Y/n: What the fuck is wrong with you people
{anime-Saiyuki}
•+•
Y/n: *Gently taps table*
Shikamaru: *Taps back*
Naruto: What are they doing?
Hinata: Morse code.
Y/n: *Aggressively taps table*
Shikamaru: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-
{anime-Naruto}
•+•
Kiba looking at Y/n and Tsume.
Kiba: So who’s the big spoon and who’s the little spoon.
Tsume: I’m a knife.
Y/n:He’s the little spoon.
{anime-Wolfs Rain}
•+•
L: Y/n , we need to talk about-
Y/n: He was already dead when I got here
L: What?
Y/n: What?
{anime-death note}
•+•
Y/n: “me and Spike have that special chemistry where we can finish each other’s-“
Spike: “sentences!”
Y/n: “don’t interrupt me”
{anime-Cowboy Bebop}
•+•
Sanji: “pfft- Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.”
Zoro: “You were flirting with Y/n..”
Sanji: “and? So what? She’s my wife.”
Zoro: “you asked them if they were single.”
Sanji: “.....”
Zoro: “And then you cried when they said they weren't..”
{anime-One Piece}
•+•
Roy: WHY. why did you give Y/n a KNIFE?!
Maes: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe.
Roy : Now I feel unsafe!
Maes: I’m sorry.
Maes: ... would you like a knife?
{anime-Fullmetal Alchemist}
•+•
Y/n: i went through an entire character arc during quarantine
Y/n: i became more evil if you’re curious
Iruka: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still!
Y/n: i’m going to get worse on purpose
{anime-Naruto}
•+•
Y/n : I will bathe in your fear.
Sanzo': Sorry but it feels like we're being threatened by cupcake.
{anime-Saiyuki}
•+•
Maes: Do you like Y/n?
Roy: What? No, I would never.
Maes: So you wouldn’t mind if I set them up-
Roy: I will kill you with my bare hands.
{anime-Fullmetal Alchemist}
•+•
Hakkai: Did you know that when you break a bone it typically will heal back stronger than before.
Y/n: So what you’re saying is I should break every bone in my body until I become invincible?
Hakkai:
Hakkai: Y/n, please do not.
{anime-Saiyuki}
•+•
Inyuasha: Don’t worry, you’ve got everything you need to defeat them.
Y/n: The power to believe in myself?
Inyuasha: No, a Sword.
Inyuasha: Stab them.
{anime-Inyuasha}
•+•
Hatori: I’ve lied to every girl I said “I love you” to. I thought I loved them but then I met you and realized I’ve never actually been in love before.
Y/n: Aww, I didn’t know that, Hatori. I’m kind of flattered—
Hatori: Yeah, it was eating me up inside so I called them each individually and told them I never loved them.
Y/n: Okay, that just seems unnecessary.
160 notes
·
View notes