bagi and empanada, baking
archivists, late night
bonus: arthur and joui, cooking
archivists time! I wanted them to talk, but neither was willing, so...
It is 11pm, and Cellbit should be asleep. Richarlyson is tucked up safe and sound and the night is dark, and yet he cannot manage it. Every time he closes his eyes blood soaks his hands, his arms, his teeth - the sulfur of purgatory, the sins of egg island, the horrors of their past...
In the end he gives up.
Making sure his son and husband are still asleep, he leaves a note on the door and heads out. His home is surrounded now in trees both purple and black, from the hill to the water's edge.
With no real intent he wanders, watching the black sky, feeling the wind on his face - he is not there, he is not there, see the moon is pale and there is nothing on your face...
The further north one heads, pink trees start to appear as the black ones fade out. It is at the centre of this transition, where pink, purple, and black sit in perfect balance, that two paths intersect.
Thanks to Philza's efforts, this part of the island is well lit; Cellbit does not carry a torch, and neither does the man just coming into sight around a pink tree.
There is something dark in Philza's hand.
It vanishes before Cellbit can work out what it is, the man raising his hand to wave, "hey Cellbit!"
"Hi Phil!" he calls back.
They meet in the middle, unsure what else to say; Cellbit came out to clear his head, but now he is here...
"Long night?" Philza eventually asks, angle of his head a little sharp to be truly casual.
"Yeah," Cellbit replies with a long sigh. "I just..."
Just what? Cellbit isn't even sure if he should be here.
"Just?" Philza asks.
Cellbit shrugs, not wanting... He doesn't want the disappointed looks, the judgement, the stares. He knows that last time he told Philza all he received was amusement, but Philza is good and Cellbit is... decidedly not. He does not know how long their compromise lasts, and neither does he know what happens when it breaks.
They stand there in awkward silence for long minutes
Eventually Philza breaks it. "Chayanne was baking earlier, if you fancy cake? It's damn good. We can sit out on my fishing dock, or I can just send you home with some."
"That sounds great," Cellbit does not even think about the reply, just lets himself be led through the softer coloured forest and towards the blazing light.
Not wanting his children woken, Philza instructs Cellbit to wait on the fishing-dock settee while he goes to find it.
Cellbit does, and he breathes, and he watches the waves. Across the shoreline Bagi's lights flicker on, and off again, barely perceptible against the bright light guiding all in to Philza's house and the safety of it.
It is only because it is so quiet that Cellbit hears the gentle opening and closing of the doors. He turns, and sees Philza not with plates, but a tray - two bowls, two forks, and two hot mugs.
Cellbit receives one of each, Philza taking his own share after he sits.
Quietly he eats, and then brings up the mug - coffee, to Philza's hot chocolate - and sips at it. Under Philza's light and with company, a little of the tension slips away.
It's okay, it's okay, he can always try again.
There's a flicker of something black and purple in Philza's hand once again. This time Cellbit nearly catches it, but it is quickly shuffled away.
He stares at Philza's hand, and wants to ask.
Philza stares at the new scars on his hands, and Cellbit does not want to be asked in turn.
Instead they quietly drink, letting the night slip away.
It's better, like this, with someone there. The world is just as dark and his sins are just as great, but it feels almost like the blood on his hands burns away in the light.
... Philza is really, really quiet - pensive, almost, and definitely distracted - but, then, Cellbit is too.
It is late, and they are tired, maybe that is to be expected.
When their cups are long empty and they merely sit for companionship beneath the stars, Philza opens his mouth as if to speak.
And then, he closes it again.
"Phil?" Cellbit asks.
Philza shakes his head, goes quiet, but then... "Can you promise me something?"
Cellbit hates the sound of that, but answers "what is it?"
"If I disappear, don't come looking for me."
He wants to object, to intervene - he has put aside the mysteries, yes, but Cellbit would never just abandon a friend!
"I'm serious. I'll work it out, just..." a sigh. "If I vanish, just look after Chayanne and Tallulah, okay?"
"Okay?" Cellbit might have babysat them before, but he has no idea why he is trusted with them even now.
Maybe Philza is just asking everyone, maybe this is just inspired by the new spate of disappearances - and deaths - of late, but... But that does not explain why the tension in Philza's frame relaxes as soon as Cellbit agrees.
"Thanks mate," Philza whispers, something quiet and very genuine in his voice. "It's... hard to know who to trust, sometimes. Fit's also agreed, but you know what it's like. With Tubbo gone and Niki not here as often... They're good kids, they're such fucking good kids, but I know two more is a lot to ask of someone."
To be compared to the children's godparents and Philza's longest friend, to be denoted as trusted... Cellbit wants to scream that Philza shouldn't touch him, that he ruins everything he touches, that he relapses again and again and someday he will not be able to claw his way back out. He wants to beg for a reason, to know why he is trusted even now, even after all he has done, how Philza can possibly believe in him enough to offer not just information but his /children/.
He doesn't.
Instead, he asks, "does this have anything to do with the nether block that keeps appearing in your hand?"
Philza freezes, then sighs, then shows Cellbit a piece of crying obsidian.
It's answer enough, as Philza throws it into the see.
"Keeps appearing in my inventory," Philza says. "There's someone... in my past. It's his calling card. He could kill us all in a heartbeat, but the only one he wants is me."
Cellbit's instinct is to push, but... but he sees Philza's expression shutter, and he is tired, and he has promised himself to stop exploring mysteries, and he knows more than a few things about trying to outrun a past that chases you.
There is no way in Nether that Philza's past is as dark as his own - Philza is good, and Cellbit is categorically not - but...
"In purgatory, there was a man I once killed," Cellbit says, instead, a secret for a secret. "He wasn't even the target I was given, this time, but I still killed him again. The blood..."
Somewhat awkwardly, Philza puts an arm around Cellbit's shoulder, and tugs him to his side.
"You were being used," Philza says, no uncertainty in his voice. "That eye fucker was using you, fucking with you. People die, Cellbit, to zombies and to nukes and to knives and to stupid ass bets, they die all the fucking time. You killed someone? Half of us fucks have killed someone, and the other half are lying about it. Some of us have even died before; you're fine, mate. You know you fucked up - and I'm proud you realised that."
Proud at him for realising murder is bad? If Philza wasn't quite so bad at lying, Cellbit would think it insincere.
As it is, though...
Cellbit isn't sure he can believe him, but he turns his face into Philza's shoulder.
"Won't your husband miss you tonight?" Philza asks.
"He sleeps like a rock," Cellbit replies. "Don't wanna walk back."
A deep breath from them both.
"Okay," Philza mutters, as he exhales. "I guess... Yeah, that's fine. I think. You're good. We're okay. Good chat - good night."
Whatever tension is left slowly breaks, pressed against the shore with each wave that laps at the sand. Cellbit watches it, stealing warmth from Philza even as warmth is stolen from him, until he finally falls asleep.
And, when morning comes, it comes with blankets not there last night draped over the pair, and three worried-angry children pouting at their feet.
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Going on a trip and coming back with a new tattoo should be more fun than this (678 words about fear, pain and the inconvenience of being unable to call someone to come pick you up from a terrible location. also Nemesis spoilers):
No winter in the Neath or on the Surface could be this cold. Thankfully she is dressed warmly, though she does not recognize the clothes. Still, the wind bites through the fabric and freezes her tears to her face. Lenora is alone, oh god she is alone at Zee-
She catches herself before she can begin hyperventilating. If she starts, she will not stop until she drops dead in this frozen wasteland. Clenching and unclenching her hands as she forces herself to breathe evenly, she turns to look at the gate. Its winged, ice-encrusted guardians stare down at her.
Lenora has heard people speak of "going North" before. Those people tend to disappear, and she thinks this is where they must end up. Whatever lies beyond that gate, it is not for her; she turns and heads for the ship at the island's edge. She wonders if the Lady in Lilac knew she was no zailor when she abandoned her here. It must have been her, given the gap in her memory...the month-long gap, she finds once she has discovered the ship's log.
For a moment, she leans against the desk and waits for the urge to scream to pass. It would be terrible, given the way her tongue is throbbing. There is the next question to be answered. It gives her something to focus on as she wanders the cramped halls. The steamer is mostly empty, and all its furnishings and supplies look ancient aside from a small package of food, but surely somewhere there must be a mirror?
There is no surface in the tiny washroom that looks safe to touch. She doesn't even raise a gloved hand to wipe away the grime from the mirror. Leaning as close as she dares, she sticks out her tongue and prays she isn't catching some horrid disease just by standing here.
Is that...Correspondence?
Tilting her head, she does her best to study the blurred sigil. It isn't one she immediately recognizes, but it hasn't harmed her (yet). A more thorough study can wait for a warmer, safer, cleaner environment.
She returns to the cabin and shoves aside the useless log. Underneath it is a map. Her fingers trace the currents and islands as she recalls Emory's lesson.
"You have to know the basics, at least. Just in case."
"I won't argue, darling, but I truly hate to imagine any scenario where I am somehow the only person available to steer the ship. If we're ever in such imminent danger, can't you just kill me?"
"If I get the chance, Nor, I'll do whatever I have to, but this is just...look, if the worst ever happens, I want you to at least try to get away. Now, you know the currents run anticlockwise..."
Lenora imagines she can feel their hand on her own as she draws a curving line from the northern edge of the map towards London. All she must do is begin following this path and account for the northern wind...and avoid the center of the map...and escape any zee-monsters or people who might attack her...
She takes a deep breath and touches the hilt of her knife. She will die fighting if she must, but not to her own fear.
Before setting out, she takes stock of the ship's flags. Most are faded and tattered, which means semaphore is out of the question. Just as well; it's been some time since she memorized it, and she would hate to accidentally provoke a fight instead of asking for help. Morse code it is, so long as she can manage to keep a lantern lit.
As she leaves the frozen island behind, Lenora tells herself that she will jump (literally, if necessary) on the first ship that responds without immediate hostility. Whatever payment they may demand, whatever they may ask of her, whatever it takes to make it home. There is so much time she has already lost - with her family and friends, with herself - and she cannot bear to lose much more.
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