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love-belle · 10 months

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you are my sunshine !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which she's their sunshine and it's sunshine's birthday.

for when you find the people you can call home. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // lando norris x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - hello!!! i really hope u like this one!!! also, i have more than 20+ requests in my inbox at the moment so if you've requested something, it may take some time for me to post them, so sorry about that ://// thank u so much for reading, i love you <3

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by landonorris, lilymhe, alex_albon and 863,229 others

yourusername the kind of radiance u only have at (23) 17

6,528 comments

username OH MY GOD

username HELLO??????

username SO FUCKING PRETTY I SCREAMED

username lando. me n u. mcdonald's parking lot. ur catching these hands.

carmenmmundt happiest birthday to my fav person EVER!!! i love you so much baby, thank you for always fixing everything with just a smile ❤️❤️❤️

-> yourusername CARMEN IM GONNA CRY??? i love you so so so so so much like ur like my fav person ever thank u ❤️❤️❤️

username HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEEN ❤️‍🩹

*liked by yourusername*

username dumped my bf for u omg

username THE TAYLOR SWIFT LYRICS

username hahahahahah!!!!! just fell in love!!!!!!!!

username my bisexual awakening

alex_albon hbd.

-> yourusername ty.

-> username not these two acting they're they're not BEST friends 😭😭😭

username lando just so u know it's OUR girlfriend now

username JAW DROPPED

lilymhe been looking at this for 10 mins

-> yourusername blushing omg

lilymhe u lowk need to find another caption for ur bday post bc u have been using this since u turned 17

-> yourusername it's my bday leave me ALONE

username SHE'S SO PRETTY LIKE IM SO AHHHSHSH

username happiest bday to one who made lando a simp 😌 we love u so much

username i want her so bad

landonorris HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEE YOU SO MUCH

-> yourusername LANDO THANK U SO MUCH I LOVE YOU

landonorris hahahaha can i get your no. are you single are you free this friday do you have a boyfriend

-> yourusername i have a girlfriend lilymhe

-> lilymhe back off norris

-> landonorris wow.

username genuinely in awe rn LIKE

lewishamilton happiest birthday y/n 🤍 have the best day ahead!! cannot wait to see you and lando tonight!!

-> yourusername LEWIS THANK U ‼️‼️‼️ see u tonight im so excited 🔥🔥🔥

username she's so girlboss i love her

username HER.

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 986,318 others

landonorris happiest birthday to my person, my love, my y/n. you're easily the most sunshine-y person i have ever met and i love you so much, even if you love lily more than me. i remember telling you about my favourite flower and the very next day, you showed up with a bouquet full of white roses and a cheesy card and that was when i knew that i wanted to spend all of my lifetimes with you. here's to growing old but never growing up. have the happiest day ahead, darling ❤️

tagged yourusername

username ask me if im ok

-> username are u ok

-> username BITCH NO

username SOVBINF

username babe wake up new y/n pics just dropped

pierregasly happy birthday to the actual goat 🐐

*liked by yourusername*

username the caption has me rolling on the floor

username dead deceased six feet under decomposed decaying gone

username they're so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

lilymhe glad u acknowledged her loving me more than u

-> landonorris you're still banned from our home

-> yourusername no she's not. lily ❤️❤️❤️

-> landonorris and to think i spent half an hour to choose these photos..

-> yourusername sorry babe 🫤

username SHE'S SO SUNSHINE GIRLY

username MOTHER

username she could step on me and i would say thank u

charles_leclerc the og queen 🔥

*liked by landonorris*

username MY PERSON MY LOVE MY Y/N

username further proof of if he wanted to he would

yourusername brb sobbing

-> landonorris OMG PLEASE DON'T

yourusername omg

yourusername ahahahahahaha i love you???

-> landonorris i love you.

yourusername thank u thank u thank u

yourusername frrr ur the best part of my life, ur what i imagined daylight to be like thank u for making me the happiest idk how i got so lucky with u

-> landonorris i love you ❤️

username shakespeare's been real quiet since lando wrote this caption

username they're MY parents

username MY Y/N

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, francisca.cgomes, landonorris and 782,825 others

lilymhe to my soul sister, my best friend, my partner in crime, my 3am call since forever, happy happy happy birthday, my love. there's good in this world and i found a LOT of it in you, thank you so much for being my sunshine on days where everything got too hard. i love you so much, to the moon and to saturn. ( landonorris, suck on the caption)

tagged yourusername

username OH MY GOD

username THE CAPTION HELLO

username i sobbed ngl

username MY SOUL SISTE MY BEST FRIEND MY PARTNER IN CRIME MY 3AM CALL SINCE FOREVER

carmenmmundt 🤍🤍🤍

*liked by lilymhe*

username gfs ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username i love them sm wtf

username NOT HER TAGGING LANDO

-> username their (fake) beef is too funny like 😭😭😭😭

francisca.cgomes missing you both so much!!!

-> lilymhe can't wait to see you next week <3

username the wags being best friends ❤️❤️❤️

username this post gave me sm serotonin thank u

username Y/N IS THE DEFINITION OF SUNSHINE GIRLY AND I LOVE HER SM FOR THAT

username they're so ❤️❤️❤️🫤🫤🫤😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥😘😘😘😘🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

alex_albon i better be getting a caption this long on my bday

-> lilymhe we'll see

-> yourusername just accept that i'm her fav ❤️

username I LOVE THEM SM

username women friendships are so precious to me like ❤️❤️❤️

username further proof that love stories are not always romantic

*liked by yourusername and lilymhe*

landonorris fuck you stop trying to steal my girlfriend

-> lilymhe *OUR girlfriend

-> yourusername love all of my bitches equally ❤️

username HER TAGGING LANDO IS SENDING ME 😭😭😭😭😭

yourusername do u want me to cry???? lily i love you so much ❤️❤️❤️ thank u so much for always being there for me like i don't know what i did so good in my past life to have YOU as my best friend but i'm so glad i do, i love you ❤️

-> lilymhe i love you so much bae ❤️❤️❤️

username their friendship is so pure like

username lando and alex who???? it's y/n and lily

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, lilymhe and 798,928 others

alex_albon happy birthday to the only person i'd want to sit beside me in prison. thank you so much for years of memories, laughing till we cried, going on stupid adventures together that got us yelled at by lily and here's to a lot more. i love you, i guess, even though you made my girlfriend love you more. have a good one, you stupid. time to start buying anti-wrinkle cream.

tagged yourusername

6,728 comments

username HELP OMG

username the WILD contrast between lily's and alex's caption

username NO BC THEY'RE BEST FRIENDS GOALS LIKE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

danielricciardo "stupid adventures" and it's just the august incident.

-> yourusername OMG THE AUGUST INCIDENT

-> lewishamilton we agreed not to speak of that x

-> georgerussell63 alex and y/n have done questionable shit growing up but the august incident will forever top the list

-> carlossainz55 that was scary, no?

-> landonorris I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT

-> maxverstappen1 no because charles almost cried

-> charles_leclerc I DID NOT

-> pierregasly you did, mate

-> alex_albon we DON'T talk about it

-> lilymhe still disappointed in all of you

-> username WHAT IS THE AUGUST INCIDENT

-> username HELLO???? WE NEED DETAILS????

-> username nah bc what'd they do 😭😭😭

username this caption made me drop to the floor and roll down the stairs

username BEST FRIENDS

username no bc they're definitely the kind of duo that would go to jail and get bailed out by their partners

-> username lily would SO be the disappointed mom and gf

-> username meanwhile lando is just along for the ride

username LILY ALEX Y/N LANDO 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

username NOT ANTI WRINKLE CREAM

lilymhe of COURSE she loves me more than she loves you, have you seen me???

-> yourusername i have and let me tell you, woah.

-> lilymhe 😘

-> alex_albon out of my comment section you hoes

username LILY AND Y/N WILL FOREVER BE THE SUPERIOR DUO

username im so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username WORM ON THE STRING

-> username they're so unserious i love them

landonorris my girl my girl my girl my girl my girl ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

-> alex_albon you're literally sitting on her lap rn

-> landonorris ok and?

-> username LANDO SITTING ON HER LAP HELP

-> username nah it's cause it's so babygirl like ❤️❤️❤️

-> username real like ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username i love their friendship ur honour

yourusername thank you for making the best decision of ur life and meeting lily, it's bc of u that i found my wife ❤️❤️❤️ forever grateful dude

-> alex_albon no problem bro

yourusername and thank u for listening to me shit talk about people i hate and then shit talking with me

-> alex_albon our shit talking sessions are so fun, we're so mean and i love that

username I NEED FRIENDS LIKE THIS WTF

username AHHSHHSHDBXBXNDNS

#f1 x female reader #f1 x reader #social media au #fake instagram imagines #f1 imagines #lando norris imagine #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x you #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagines #lando norris insta au #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fluff #lando norris blurb

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freckliedan · 1 month

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wait can you talk more about christmas 2018?

Anonymous asked: Just what you said in your post! "the first christmas where they publicly spent that much time together" did they usually keep quiet about where they were?

i can't speak to the 2014-16 era because i fell out of touch with the fandom at that time, but i was absolutely around during 2017 & 18. both of those years marked HUGE shifts, and both of those huge shifts came at the tail end of gamingmas/dilmas. you can check out my original frog theory post and my frog theory tag for elaboration on the function of gamingmas irt all of this. as just like. prerequisite framework reading.

ANYWAYS. the thing that was such a big deal was that dan was openly visiting the lesters with phil. yes, you can visit friends' families during the holidays. but it's much more frequently something you do with a significant other. so the ruckus was because dan and phil knew the conclusions people would jump to if we knew dan visited the lesters at christmas, and they still let us know that it happened.

(this got disgustingly long, so i'm putting the rest of this post under the cut.)

part of what made that such a big deal was having that happen after the no homo/closet era, the "we're not together we're not even that close of friends we're just roommates" era. the significance of their trust & openness was MUCH more tangibly felt. a way larger percent of the fandom at that time had been present when the vday video leaked/had joined shortly afterwards when that was one of the biggest things impacting both phandom culture and our relationship with dnp.

so in 2017 when we got a glimpse of dan up north at the lesters' in a couple of cornelia's instagram stories? we lost our fucking minds about it. it was only 2 (i think) background cameos, but it was quite literally unprecedented. it's not something that qualifies as openly spending time together at the holidays because of the method throug which we found out about it, but like. there's no way they didn't know that cornelia was posting those, and no way that they didn't know we'd know about it.

when i say we, i mean dedicated phannies. people who could possibly be reading this post, not casual subscribers to the gaming channel. because when it comes to casual viewers, or even people who aren't a part of dan and phil's usual audience at all? there's a lot of methods of communication that they just plain aren't paying attention to and won't be aware of.

the most direct, permanent methods dan and phil have for communicating are videos on either of their individual channels or on dan and phil games, and after that is instagram grid posts or tweets, as well as videos on their side channels. twitter replies, insta stories, livestreams, and their public likes on any social media platform? those are for a more private audience. their appearances in other people's posts reaches a similarly small audience.

knowing that they were starting to be more and more open through the communication channels only open between them and dedicated fans, and that it was a trend - december 2017 is also when phil, in a liveshow, read out someone's "you and dan are so married" comment and just.. laughingly said "it-it's a useful thing". (link to gifs of that). it wasn't a one-off. it was a trend.

and compared to 2018, it was dust. they spent the whole year becoming increasingly open with us, through increasingly direct methods. it was a whirlwind. even for people who've watched all the videos and liveshows, you don't have the whole picture. the onslaught was coming at us from every angle at all moments. you'd have to also explore the full archives of social media posts, insta stories, meet and greets , social media likes, and like.. the archived recordings of every interactive introverts tour date. it was batshit.

it was genuinely one of the most insane years of my life. i was having physical symptoms. we all knew what was coming, we all could tell they were working up towards coming out, but nobody wanted to trust that we were right about that. my dashboard was regularly at a fever pitch.

and december 2018 was the culmination of everything. and then they were talking directly to us in a liveshow and being. insanely open. they told us that dan was going with phil to visit the lesters. and they told us that pinof was ending. and then dilmas started dropping, aggressively cementing the fact that dab and evan were sim-universe proxies for dnp, while dan and phil posted instagram grid and story updates about visiting the lesters. and then dab and evan came home to the howlter house for the holidays. and got engaged.

and then they went on hiatus, and we pretty much did not hear from dan until he came out.

the point is. we knew there was a fucking insane energy. we KNEW something big was coming. we fucking knew. it was a two year build up to dan and phil being the most publicly gay they'd ever been on the gaming channel and every single other platform - and part of that insanity was them being open about dan visiting the lesters, which coincided with them having their proxy sims get gay engaged while visiting family.

"did they usually keep quiet about where they were?" anon, the last time before all this that they had openly acknowledged dan visiting the lesters during the holidays was 2009.

the way they were acting over christmas of 2018 had me experiencing shrimp emotions to such an intense degree i was having verifiable psychic visions.

#jam replies #anon #jam thoughts #frecklie thoughts #phan #dan and phil #dan and phil games #phandom

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drakaripykiros130ac · 5 days

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Maybe it's silly but how do you deal with the negativity from TG stans? I'm in my twenties but this is my first time using Tumblr and they are coming for my throat. The name-calling, spamming was insane. A more followed blog shared my whole page and posts that I criticised Alicent and her followers came at me like rabid dogs. (I apologise for saying this but I literally don't know how else to describe.) Maybe I have been extremely lucky thus far but I have never been cyberbullied this mercilessly. The insults I have heard would be legitimate lawsuits if they had the guts to tell them to my face, I'm telling you. I'm genuinely sorry if this comes out baby-ish but my friends don't use Tumblr so they don't know how to deal with this. I thought about deleting my account but I don't want to stop using a platform I enjoy due to some bad people. You are blog I really like and I'd appreciate any advice.

Hi. I am really sorry that you are dealing with all of this :(

I have faced plenty of backlash for my posts. In the past, I used to get into long debates with TG stans. Nowadays, I don’t even bother (especially since most haven’t read the book or choose to ignore it simply because Condal’s fanfic version favors their side more).

Some of the things which help me deal with all their negativity are the following: I don’t accept anon messages, I have some of the nastiest TG stans blocked, and I try to ignore any provocation.

Social media is brutal, and cyberbullying is even worse than actual bullying, because these people hide behind an account (or more) with a made-up name and have the power to target you.

People who personally target you over your perception of a fictional character, are completely insane in my book, and they are in need of serious help.

There is a pro-Alicent mania going around thanks to Condal and his obsession with Olivia Cooke. But rest assured that the GA despises Alicent. TG stans are like a 15-20% minority who tend to make a lot of noise, because they are desperate to be heard.

If you enjoy Tumblr, stay on. Maybe take some time off posting for a while until things cool down. Focus on the more positive posts, and ignore any negativity.

I would suggest you block these accounts which target you and even report them if things get serious.

Don’t give up, and don’t give these people any satisfaction. Ignore them, block them and focus on the positive part of the fandom :)

#anti team green stans #anti team green #anti alicent hightower #anti alicent stans #anti ryan condal

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catwalkvivi · 1 month

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well hey, since hardly anyone's looking at this corner of the website anyway I might as well take the opportunity to vent (it's annoying to do it on twitter with the character cap)

Man, social media is hard.

I see so many people posting regular content consistently for years and years without even seemingly breaking a sweat, while it's always been so difficult for me... Calculating engagement, deciding the best times to post, or, hell, even just sharing what they think/feel/made/fucking ate that day just seems, like, so easy and second nature for pretty much everyone around me. It's genuinely incredible to me that somebody can share what they've learned about idk shitty impractical tanks made in WW1 on this website and make it such an interesting read that hundreds of people engage with it!

But I've tried keeping social media accounts for art and stuff so many times now, on here, on Instagram, on Artstation, on Xitter, and eventually it just- kinda- fades away, it just feels so exhausting to keep track of all the things necessary to Chase the Algorhythm™ if you wanna have any relevancy. Is it a charisma thing??? Where do I grind to get a stat boost on my Cha???

I'd love to say it doesn't matter to me, since I've been drawing shit for myself for years now, but unfortunately artists do need social media presence if they wanna get work. Not to mention, well, I wanna reach people with the stuff I do! I want people to react to what I made, to say what they liked about it, or how it made them feel, and then when I post something I worked on for hours only to get, like, almost zero visibility? idk, man, it just kinda hurts. It's probably selfish and immature for me to say it, I know that it takes time and effort to build an audience and all that, but damn I get happy when people show me that something I've made has affected them positively. I like the connection, I like the conversations, I like meeting people who enjoy the same nerdy trash that I do!

(I was very fortunate to have an art post of mine reach a lot of notes here years ago, which was amazing, but it's such a rare thing)

God, and, like, there's all these weird unspoken rules about interacting on social media too.

The other day a friend of mine came up to our friend group and was like "oh my god this girl liked my stories on instagram it means something does she like me" and I was SO confused and then they were like "well, when somebody not on your friends list likes your stories, it means they're interested in you"

Then some time later another friend was telling me that somebody stopped liking her posts and unfriended her and how that is a horrible offense and my fucking brain hurt, like- okay I get the unfriend part kinda but there could be a hundred reasons for it??? it's not like you have a deep personal connection to all 300 friends you have on your account???

Then I see so many people out there simply sharing something they think or did only to have some rando twist what they said and come at them like they're the shittiest person on the planet that deserves everything bad in life actually (except the ones that are willingly spouting/promoting hateful shit to begin with. Those can rot in hell and I shall not mourn their demise)

Like??? It might be the Power of Autism™ in me but it always feels like I'm one step away from either making a fool of myself or offending twenty different people or both. It's both the fear of having hundreds of thousands of eyes on me and the fear of having none at all. And that makes it really difficult to share anything on the internet for me. I already have to deal with my entire existence as a trans woman making some cunts around the world mad, it sucks that I have to risk it in places where I just wanna post dumb drawings and talk about dumb things that make me happy with others.

I dunno. Word vomit I guess. Social media is hard. Interacting with humans is hard. Sharing stuff is hard. I prefer Pokémon

#venting

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curry-and-gunpowder · 4 months

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Okay so I have some stuff to get off my chest, might get a bit heated, but I mean no disrespect to anyone, just expressing my genuine confusion and frustration and trying to make my stance on some matters clear.

Clearly I ship Odazai. But that does not mean I reject other interpretations of their relationship. Be it platonic, queerplatonic, brotherly, it's all lovely to me - I genuinely just enjoy their unique dynamic.

However, I am constantly on the brink of losing it over hearing them referred to as a father/son pair by so many people in the fandom. And I'm gonna attempt to break down why this interpretation bothers me so much.

Firstly, it just flies in the face of my personal experience of intergenerational friendships - I'm a young-ish Millennial with many Gen Z friends. And I find it completely incomprehensible to try and force people who are relatively close in age into such a dynamic. I'm aware that a lot of bsd fans are teens or young adults who maybe don't have much social contact with people outside their age range. But as a 30+ person on the Internet, let me tell you, five years? That's nothing. The plain truth is, the older you get, the less age starts to matter. Once you get out of school, you will interact with people of all ages regularly and you will have friends who are older or younger than you and nobody fucking cares. The thought of seeing any of my younger friends as my children is, pardon my french, fucking ridiculous.

Secondly, and I've spoken about this before, the fandom's tendency to parentify Odasaku way beyond what the text ever implies. It's easy to put him into the role, considering the way he cares for his orphans. In that way, he has some parental traits - but it's only a facet of his personality, and, i would argue, one that the fandom puts way too much emphasis on, imho. I'll gladly write some more meta on that at a later time, but doing that here would make the post even longer than it already is. Just to quickly reiterate, for anyone who hasn't read the dark era lightnovel - Oda does explicitly NOT treat the kids like his children. Why then would he treat Dazai like one? Dazai, whom he explicitly invites to go drinking with him in TDIPUD? How does that track? Is he supposed to be just a shitty parent? Or could it maybe indicate that he sees Dazai as his equal more than anything?

(Tangentially, I would argue that Oda's perception of what constitutes a child/an adult is horrendously skewed, considering his own past.)

Thirdly, and this is probably gonna be the one that might get me into hot water with some people, the thing I like to call the Cope. The tendency in fandom to manifest a hard line between groups of characters that somehow should never be crossed when shipping, otherwise that makes the ship badwrongtoxic. This is a phenomenon I've observed developing more and more in recent years, and it's ngl pretty worrying, because it's generally used to present one's own ship as "superior", and all "rival ships" as less than/bad. Ships with "significant" age gaps tend to fall into that category relatively often, but I suspect very few people actually genuinely care about the characters' ages, but rather use it as a shield to justify why these relationships are To Be Avoided. Odazai is an absolute stellar example of such a ship - by all means it should be way more popular than it is, considering the themes that surround it and the way its absolutely center to the nareative of bsd. But without fail, when I look up media for the ship, be it YouTube videos or simply browsing the tag on tumblr or pinterest, I see the same mantra repeated over and over - "how can you ship them, they're like father and son!"

(I'm concerned about the relationship you have with your parents, I say to myself in response.)

And its, quite frankly, just not the case. I cannot for the life of me find any indication of this so-called parental relationship anywhere in the text. All I can see is two people who are friends who have a deep and sincere love for each other.

In conclusion, not every relationship has to fall into the category of familial or romantic. Sometimes... people are just friends. Sometimes friends are some years apart in age. It's not shocking or special or anything, it literally happens all the time.

Just let them be friends. It's fine, really, it's allowed.

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bugsonthemind · 7 months

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Since it's been a while, I thought I'd repost this old meme I made from reddit to tumblr. Because I think it's still funny. I also added a four new entries, just for the value add.

WHAT YOUR FAVORITE WORM SHIP SAYS ABOUT YOU

Annette x Danny - You used to be a swinger, but these days you’re totally devoted to your spouse, who can do no wrong in your eyes. You read Worm on a lark after accidentally finding it in a search for a place where you could buy garden worms. You really fell in love with it, and Danny became a point of fascination after you read the Word of God about his potential powers.

Taylor x Greg - You consider yourself a geek, generally speaking, and you enjoy writing but not sharing fanfiction. You always tell your friends that you’ve got a “gamer-fic” coming that will really “shake things up” on Spacebattles, but really it’s just a measly two paragraphs. You know a few words in a notable conlang, but you don’t have the dedication to learn a grammar other than that of English.

Taylor x Emma - You are a 20-something sapphic woman with many, many things unresolved from highschool.

Taylor x Sophia - You’ve never read Worm.

Taylor x Brian - You’re a strict canonist. You don’t buy Taylor in a sapphic ship and you never will, given the Word of God on the matter. You also really like Brian as a character, and feel more than a little disappointed that he got shafted in terms of character development.

Taylor x Lisa - You’re into astrology and you have a fairly active Instagram where you frequently post images of people who you’re attracted to - usually those that are taller and more physically capable, or somewhat frazzled and “natural” looking - with repeated heart emojis.

Taylor x Rachel - You’re an avid reader of lesbian fiction - your favorite classic is Stone Butch Blues by Feinberg - and you genuinely thought that this was the romantic direction that Worm was going when you were reading it back in 2013, just after it had finished. You are, if not a dog person, an animal person in general.

Taylor x Alec - You speak French and frequently brag about it, and you’re a little too open about your interest in BDSM, which reflects all the more poorly on your choice of ship. You still doubt that Bill Cosby actually did anything wrong.

Taylor x Dennis - You are an even stricter canonist. You eagerly await the PHO post every Sunday, and you love staying in character.

Taylor x Amy - You are either a thirty-year old straight single man or a teenaged single lesbian, with no outliers. Either way, both womanhood and cleanliness are alien to you. Clean your room. Take a shower. Make better choices next time.

Taylor x Theo - You're a bit of an off-the wall kind of person, preferring to take a third option whenever available. You think of it as being quirky. You're art school, and picked up Worm in 2016 on a recommendation from a friend on Discord.

Lisa x Faultline - You like women in positions of power, but have no interest in conventional power structures. This paradox was what initially led you to Worm, but you kinda only continued on momentum after Taylor became a Ward. You sometimes like to pretend to be a libertarian.

Rachel x Brian - You think that Taylor is a piece of shit, and that everyone in the Undersiders deserves better than her. You’re really into tomboys.

Rachel x Alec - You have a complex of sexual fetishes, mental illnesses and gender hang-ups previously only thought possible under the rare conditions found in the center of distant stars, the Large Hadron Collider or a person from Florida.

Rachel x Biter - You prefer relationships that are kept on the down-low. You don’t have any social media, really, and you think that’s for the better. You are an ardent believer that quiet is good for the soul and that you shouldn’t say anything if it won’t add anything.

Alec x Aisha - You don’t know what an age gap is, and you’ve never cared.

Sabah x Lily - You adore Sanrio - maybe a bit too much for your age. You have a thing for athletes and jocks, and you really enjoy the whole “cottagecore” trend, regardless of your orientation.

Lily x May - You like knives, and have a collection of them in your closet. Sometimes you think about paying a prostitute extra so that you get an occasion to use them outside of your kitchen. Whether it's you on them, or them on you, you don't really care; you just want to see the blood.

Aisha x Missy - You figure this must have happened at some point, right? Based off of the few lines we get about her love-life it has to be right, right? You really like Mitski, and you’re kind of disappointed in the directions that Ward went, so you’re grasping at straws for a good ship.

Lisa x Victoria - You live somewhere in the Northeast megalopolis. You hate gentrification, and you feel guilty every time you visit a Starbucks - and secretly you like DDs better anyways, but your friends always want to go to Starbucks. You’re not out as bisexual because you feel like you’d be taking up too much room in other people’s lives to jut come out to them.

Amy x Bianca - You’ve tasted so much of boot and cunt and yet you still can’t decide which you like better.

Amy x Siberian - You've engaged with this as part of your general coquettecore, editing-images-of-Hello-Kitty-to-add-gore, hazy images of midwestern American homes and hotels with old decor or no furniture at all, traumacore, Nicole Dollanganger and Lingua Ignota styled online presence. How serious you are about all this is unclear, but you're really into the whole eating fingers thing.

Victoria x Bianca - You think you're really onto something with this. You're working in a new and innovative field of clone-fucking: fucking a woman who is your narrative foil and designed to resemble you in every fashion not by anything in universe but by the author.

Amy x Dean - You seriously thought this was how it was going to go down until Dean died, and that that was her secret. It’s been stuck in the back of your mind as ever since.

Amy x Lisa - You’re a strong believer in picking up a replacement goldfish whenever you exit a relationship.

Carol x Mark - You’re older than the average Worm fan, and severely depressed, but find solace in reading and perhaps a singular hobby. You’ve slowly been releasing a fic that you work on in your free time over the course of the last couple of years. It doesn’t get much attention but the little attention it does get feels all the sweeter.

Carol x Neil - You’ve had a pregnancy scare once or twice with your current partner, who is cheating on their spouse with you. You get why people don’t like cheaters, sure, but at the same time you find little space in your heart to blame them. That’s how you justify it.

Victoria x Dean - You wanted to marry your highschool prom date, and maybe you did. Your favorite show is Brooklyn 99.

Victoria x Ashley - You’re probably gay. You *used* to like Ward, and you were rooting for this ship for the entire run. You really didn’t like the ending but now you’re into Pale, which is a lot better for you, but still frustrating in many ways. You, also, hate Starbucks, and avoid them at all costs, instead opting for smaller, local coffee shops.

Victoria x Sveta - The line between friend and lover is tenuously thin for you, and you worry sometimes about that. In general, you are a very nervous person; when the world gets to be too much for you, you jump into learning a new skill or hobby instead of facing it head on. You’re currently trying to learn Swahili.

Victoria x Fragile One - You enjoy xenofiction and romance. You’re a stickler for canon, and enjoy having a solid knowledge of franchises so that you can help people when they ask for clarification on a part of a work. Secretly, you also enjoy writing smut.

Victoria x Etna - I know it’s you, Marco. Keep up the good work.

Victoria x Ethan - You’re interested in self-improvement. You listen to audiobooks on philosophy while exercising, then relisten once you’re less distracted. You always go down first.

Victoria x Moose - You pretend you're unironically into the whole "women/men who can beat the shit out of you" thing, but deep down you want somebody to bridal carry you. You just don't have the ability to be that vulnerable, so instead you pretend it's a manifestation of hyperviolent sexuality.

Sveta x Weld - You were really sad that they didn’t work out. You think Weld is kind of a pussy and should have stuck it through.

Byron x Missy - Whenever you see a couple in public, you get a little giddy feeling in your chest. You’re not even sure why you like it so much, or why you like this ship, besides the fact that it feels right. Your own love-life, on the other hand, is a mess worthy of its own story.

Byron x Moonsong - You’re homophobic, but you don’t want to be, and so you sympathize.

Byron x Furcate - You’re sweet. You really want the best for people and your goal in life is to do the best for people. You’re very vocal about trans rights, and you probably have at least one trans flag somewhere in your socials, even if you aren’t trans yourself.

Tristan x Venarum - You read Siken. You feel really, really tired of the way gay men are depicted in media, even with mainstream acceptance. You were really hoping this one would be different.

Tristan x Rain - You’re from down South. You’re a quiet type, too, and you keep to yourself when you can. Your favorite book is a well-worn copy of The Picture of Dorian Grey that one of your uncles sent you, before you even had it figured out. You got into Worm because of the powers, but by the end you were really in it for the characters.

Rain x Chastity - You listen to Cult of Dionysus by The Orion Experience on repeat, but when you’re working you prefer to listen to the soundtrack for Hotline Miami. You find a special joy in wordplay, puns and innuendo. You tried a lot of drugs in highschool, but they weren’t for you.

Kenzie x Candy - You never did get over that crush in middle school, did you?

Kenzie x Chris - You’re weird, and I don’t like you. Never go near children.

Darlene x Aiden - You’re an odd duck; you’re fascinated by how children develop senses of love and affection in imitation of adults. You may be a child psychologist, or a rather overbearing parent.

Dragon x Colin - You’re a straight white man from Central Canada who writes web serials for a living.

Assault x Battery - You really, really like enemies-to-lovers fics. You think that Worm should have had more romances like AxB and you’re absolutely wrong.

Miss Militia x Battery - You fantasize of seducing your neighbor away from her husband. She just seems so sad all the time.

Miss Milita x Chevalier - You’ve played through every Metal Gear Solid game, including Revengeance, and liked all of them, but your friends say you didn’t really understand them. You strongly believe in the case for Kurdish independence, but you also really like cops and you’re very pro-American interventionism.

Bakuda x Lung - When you’re not listening to true crime podcasts, you’re listening to Joe Rogan. You’ve experimented many times with a variety of uppers, downers, and hallucinogens. Weapons also fascinate you, so you regularly check in on Forgotten Weapons for a spell to admire their mechanics. Secretly, you think that the Unabomber was transgender, and the MKULTRA conditioning she was subjected to cheated her of a safe transition.

Leet x Uber: You've made some... less than appropriate fanfiction about lets players. Let's all be glad that you've found a new outlet.

Squealer x Skidmark - You consider yourself a party person, but the only reason you’re invited to parties is because you’re the hookup. You hate to admit you like web serials because you think it makes you look less tough.

Sidepiece x Disjoint - You've made small, voyeuristic and mean-spirited thrill-seeking into a full-time job; you regularly visit LiveLeak to get your kicks, and normal porn has started to bore you. Sometimes you make burner accounts online just to make inflammatory comments on your friend's social media. You think that it's a pretty funny prank.

Prancer x Moose x Velvet - You stand by the slogan “Be gay, do crimes,” perhaps a bit too much. You didn't like the Titan arc. You either live in the Pacific Northwest or want to.

Kaiser x Purity - You don’t get why people are so upset about the Proud Boys. They’re just keeping the suburbs safe. You regularly write E88-centric fics.

Night x Fog - You are, beneath everything, rotten - and it gratifies you to finally see someone so much like you on the page. It makes you feel normal.

Shamrock x Gregor - You're not so much a monsterfucker as a monsterlover. Your favorite show used to be Supernatural until you picked up Hannibal. You think Void from Berserk is actually kinda sexy.

Eden x Zion - You listen to Tool.

Eden x Abaddon - As above, but you also have a cuckolding fetish.

Apollyon x Eden x Zion - You’re into hard vore.

Shatterbird x Jack Slash - You’re an artist in a field that requires precision - portrait painting, weaving, diplomacy, or clinical psychology. You have a keen sense of smell, and enjoy fine dining when you can. You find Shatterbird’s hidden want for Jack cute - and you identify yourself with the latter, even if his murders are rather gauche.

Siberian x Jack Slash - You unironically find the words “mommy milkers” arousing and you regularly browse /r/guro.

Crawler x Siberian - You are a masochist because you believe yourself to be a monster. Nothing else can be read from this.

Contessa x Eidolon - You pay exorbitant sums to well-endowed Twitch streamers.

Contessa x Alexandria - You’re a well-put-together, organized person and you want someone in your life who matches that, something you live vicariously through this ship.

Accord x Citrine - You’ve like odd couples, especially those where one is a lot more odd than the other. Where you fall in that equation is 50/50. Your first celebrity crush was on Angelica Huston, 1991, in The Addams Family.

Number Man x Citrine - You’re a corporate climber who read Worm after reading Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, which you read because you thought getting into fanfiction would be a quaint, quirky idea. You frequently theorize about power synergies on Spacebattles during your allotted ten minute coffee break.

Contessa x Number Man - You’re just curious as to what mathematically perfect sex would look like. Would they use toys? Bondage? Could they just-

#worm #ward #i've been meaning to repost this for a while now

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royalsunshinehotel · 26 days

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social media preference (dev patel)

Anwar Kharral (Skins UK): Anwar is the only one on this list active on TikTok. He's not an uncomfortable teen anymore - he's being cringe on main and setting trends. I bet he's got 90K followers at least! He uses Threads and Instagram to back up his TikTok, not much else.

Sonny Kapoor (The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 1&2): For the benefit of the hotel, Sonny is active on Reels to promote the corporate 'brand'. He likes the chance to be creative, and the 'Board' likes the chance to show off the handsome CEO.

Neal Sampat (Newsroom): Neal is an OG Tumblr user, who joined the site as early as 2008. As demonstrated on the show, Neal is adept at using Twitter to cross-reference and fact-check various sources, I do think he'd be a prolific shitposter on a side account, rivaling our king @dril.

Deon Wilson (Chappie 2015): Deon is self-explanatory. he likes to support the indie social media sites that sprung up in the wake of the Fall of Twitter. He's a fan of SpaceHey because he went to Computer Camp with the engineer who started it (it's based out of Germany), which he's always wanted to visit!

Sheru “Saroo” Bierley (Lion 2016): I find it harder to deny with each passing day that Saroo Brierly isn't an Instagram thot. Look at @brockohurn on IG and tell me that they don't have the same respectful bro energy. I think Saroo likes the chance to use all the photos in his camera roll, and I think the MILFs of Instagram are grateful for the content.

Jay Menha (The Wedding Guest, 2019): The closest Jay gets to social media is the Polaroids he likes to stick up on the wall of your shared room. Sometimes, if he's having a bad time, he likes to sit in his beanbag and look at the wall. He only gets a ghost Facebook account to keep up with relatives- nothing ever is posted, ever.

David Copperfield (The Personal History of David Copperfield, 2020): I think David would do numbers on Medium.com because he can write self-prompted think-pieces that no one ever asked about, AND get paid for them! He's writing analyses of "Jeyton vs Brucas vs Leyton: One Tree Hill", and he's actually making money. It would be magic to him!

Joshua Madika (Modern Love, 2019): Joshua's social media is all on Tinder. He's perfected his profile, and he likes talking to people. It's all genuine and zero malice. Who wants to be alone with their thoughts?

Sir Gawain (The Green Knight, 2021): I once read a post about Edward Cullen texting that read, "just saw a snail . . . effervescent," and I think that's as close as Gawain should get to the internet. It's just like shitposting, but it's all for you.

Dr. ZZ Chatterjee (The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar, 2023): ZZ keeps his drama on Facebook. He's definitely showing up in comments to defend someone's mutual friend from accusations of bias when she broke up with her tiny boyfriend because she was having neck problems*. With a doctor on her side, she didn't have to post X-rays of her neck! ZZ will be beefing!

The Kid (Monkey Man, 2024): "Ted, the movie hasn't even come out yet! How can you say The Kid is a Pinterest girlie?" It's all pretty pictures with an indefinite scroll. I also bet he's a big fan of putting things in categories (see also: skittles). We'll see who's right.

*true story circa 2018 on my Facebook page.

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voxasks · 1 month

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🫐idk how to do this so i'm just gonna yap i have no clue what my personality type is but one of my favorite characters that i mildly related to was an INTJ 4w5 so i just took that and ran with it. uhh idk if i'm an introvert or extrovert it just depends on my mental state ig. i've been kinda tweekin recently so i'm loud in public like this dude one time caught me saying some of the most devious ahh shii known to man so i pointed at some random dude and blamed bro for saying it and then i sang the my little pony theme song but like 4 octaves higher. my friends hate me i also have no morals whatsoever so i'm cooked. the only reason why i'm not some bonkers dude on a documentary is because i'm a pathetic loser who doesn't actually go through with anything, i just lose interest or go 'nah this is way too much work' i'm a dude and 4'10" (idk lowkey my fault for not taking nutrition supplements when my doctor told me to) and idk what i like because i just have a hyperfixation and then i go batshit over it for several months (my longest hyperfixation was on a character for a year and i spent like 5k on merch of that character and now i highkey hate waking up to see the character's face literally everywhere) i dislike greasy foods with a burning passion, animals of all types (including insects) but actually i highkey used to like sharks but then they got popular online and agreeing with people on tiktok brings me physical pain. oh yeah i also dislike a lot of people online if they disagree with my opinion but depends on my mood because if i'm feeling mildly upset then i spam them with replies and tell them i love them and for them to have a good day but in the most toxic positive way possible and if i'm having a happy day then i do the same thing but i also slander everything i know about them for hobbies i love getting attention, positive or negative like honestly it's so fun. i go on social media a lot i'm pretty much just terminally online except i don't keep up w/ gossip majority of the time because i have no clue who celebrities are. oh yeah i love getting concern i never follow their advice or whatever all i do is make a joke about how pathetic my existence is and they rather don't care or they show concern and either way i get pissed so maybe i should stop with that lmao tbh whenever i read through the things i write i literally sound like those 'quirky >w<' 2020 gacha life ocs i feel like everyone with an ounce of humanity would realize i'm straight up embarrassing anyways ily have a good day!! take care of yourself :3333

“yeah i'm gonna be real fucking honest with you kid—halfway through your life story i genuinely forgot i was looking through my inbox and thought i was reading an article on a serial killer. you say you don't have morals but then you draw the line at greasy foods and tiktok? i mean alright sure but then you go on to bully other people on the internet over a bad mood? i'd say get a life but i'm pretty sure if you tried you would have dropped yourself on the head like you were as a kid. you sound like someone who has over ten restraining orders filed against them and they still have no clue as to why. well fuck that's ten minutes of my time i'm never taking back—you have me mourning over lost time when i'm a demon in literal fucking hell, congrats. let me guess, you'll probably celebrate by being a keyboard warrior in the comments of this post, like if junko enoshima was online. yeah, that's the energy this is giving.”

based off of the 200 follower event.

“🫐 — tell vox about yourself and he’ll give you his inner thoughts about you.”

#ooc : PLS IM SORRY NONNIE I DONT ACTUALLY THINK THESE OF YOU #.voxasks 200 event #VOX IS JUST VOXIN #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel rp #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel roleplay #hazbin hotel ask blog #hazbin rp #hazbin hotel fandom #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox

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smiggles · 8 months

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This is gonna be abit of a mouthful, but I need to get it off my chest now that years have passed and we've (hopefully you have too) matured by now.

I once looked up to you, but that was a very long time ago. The trauma you caused me is irreversible. tbf I used to be a brat and if I could go back in time to backhand my younger self I would, I own up to that. But I was only a teenager, still growing and learning about myself and how to talk to others properly. Turns out I was pretty much autistic, so communication wasn't my strong point at all back then.

But even then, your two-faced behavior of proudly shitting on and bragging about how much money you were ripping off the furry community, the people who actively supported you, loved your work and paid your bills, was appalling. I had every right to call you out on it. Instead of accepting it was wrong, you sent your roommates out like attack dogs to fight your battles, defend your toxic behavior and harass me. Every time I blocked them they would find a different site to attack me on. I struggled to make friends for years after that incident, I felt I couldn't trust anyone because of what you guys did.

Years passed, and I genuinely hoped you had changed for the better, only to see a callout post during pride of all times, about your grossly acephobic attitude. I had friends who were blocked by you and didn't understand why. You need to understand your damaging actions have severe affects on real people, and when you make public apologies, the people who comment saying they forgive you don't count if they weren't the ones hurt by you. They don't speak for those affected.

I'm not looking for an apology, even if given one I probably wouldn't accept it after all the damage you've done to me. I have zero interest in you being in my life again. I just wanted to give you this perspective to get it off my chest and for you to mull on, I want you to use it to improve yourself as a person moving forward. See the wrong in your actions, how badly it affects others, and make the choice to make things right.

But that's up to you now.

Hey, I know who this is an I want you to know that I think about you often.

Read more below

Sometimes your stuff shows up on my feed or someone shares something with me that youve made because we have common interests and I think to myself Im glad theyre doing well and I hope youre surrounded by people who support you. I dont say this as a way to like Save face because this is a public anon. I would say this to you in private if I could. I was a very nasty person years and years ago and no apology will take back the pain Ive caused others from that. Especially not you. But I am sorry. I wish things could have been different. I do. For the acephobia. Yes. I was acephobic and horrible about it. I hurt a lot of people from that and cant ever take that back but know that Ive learned a lot about how to treat others and unpack the internalized hatred towards my own ace'ness and how others present themselves. I also want to say I never sent my roommates on you. That was a choice they did on their own without my knowledge. I never ever want someone to go after anyone on my behalf and while it is likely hard to believe that those who have known me these past 5-6 years can vouch that as true. I have on multiple occasions asked my friends to leave people alone I end up disagreeing with. I never name drop people I dont get along with. I dont even tell people besides my very very private close friends about what happened between me and you and that might be about 3 or 4 people at most. As for blocking? I block very liberally LOL and its almost never personal. I block people for the smallest things just to curate my social media experience. If you ever wanted to reconnect and try again Im here. And I have no hatred in my heart. I have held myself accountable all these years for things I should have done better. Handled softer. In the end Truly. Im glad youve made a beautiful career out of something you love and no matter what happens between us I hope you continue to thrive. With all my heart.

#smigglesask #I often tell anyone who asks about the callout on me that it is 100000% warranted and that I was a piece of shit and people deserve #to know what kind of person i used to be #I dont want to hide and pretend Im perfect or that I never hurt people

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dextixer · 4 months

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@Unfiltered-X

Pal, i do not care about your or anti-rwde obsession with RWDE. Half of you people constantly make posts like "Hah, RWDE sucks" while having us under a block. Its pathetic. Genuinely, you can all avoid the RWDE tag, instead you block people in that tag, and then reblog their stuff, to what, shittalk that stuff? You have nothing better to do?

Its all projection. And its sad. Genuinely, maybe you are not obsessed with RWBY, but a lot of your anti-RWDE friends are, to the extent that they will, once again, go to RWDE blogs, take stuff from them, and then privately reblog them to gloat or something.

Yet we in the RWDE are always accused of complete and utter nonsense, just because at the end of the day, you dont care about what we actually think or do. All you want is to project your own insecurities and obsessions upon us.

I made a single blogpost comparing LGBT+ representation in a single game, Hades to RWBY. What, is that a problem? Does that make me obsessed? A single post saying that a games narrative did something better?

I have played a lot more games, read a lot more books and done a lot more things than that, and never associated them with RWBY.

Because at the end of the day, all of this, is a hobby.

Something you people should really learn, because half of your anti-rwde buddies cant discern reality from fiction half of the time.

Oh, and can you also tell them that Tumblr is not the only social media website in existance? I use my Tumblr mostly for RWBY. For everything else i have multitudes of discord servers, because, if i may be so crass.

Nobody gives a shit about Tumblr, it sucks for fandom interaction. Reddit and Discord are better, genuinely.

Can i be frank with you? Do you ever tire of doing this? I have not interacted with any of you anti-RWDE people in ages now, besides that troll whos now posting "Oh, im sad for RWDE" blogposts daily as bait.

Genuinely, the RWDE side is mostly happy to leave you alone, we dont really want to care about you. Yet you seem to constantly barge in RWDE spaces, for what? Just to have a fight? Prove you are somehow superior?

Like, genuinely, half of the reason i have not done much on my tumblr these pasts months is because i am genuinely tired of you people. Hell, the only reason i am on this site is because your side, anti-rwde constantly posted my reddit posts here and then sent people after me on Reddit. Just because i dared to have an opinion.

Genuinely, and this comes from the heart. Grow up, because at this point, i have little need or want to interact with you people, you are just tiring.

We dont want to interact with you. You clearly dont want to interact with us. So, why are you constantly coming after us? You can mute the tag, instead you created an anti tag. Why?

Sigh....

Im writing this knowing that you wont give a fuck about any of this, and you will just use this as another "Bash on RWDE" session or some shit. But genuinely, grow up, and go do something else.

#rwby #rwde #rwby fndm

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duchessofostergotlands · 3 months

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I personally find it odd that there are people who actually sit down and debate whether or not a couple they see a few times a week for a few hours will divorce. Like, how on earth am I supposed to tell? Then again, I suppose parasocial relationships really do make people think they genuinely know strangers so they might think they are in a position to predict these things. What were you supposed to say? “Um, I think they will based on the fact that they do a few solo engagements together and they stood a couple inches away from each other for five seconds. Divorce, babes, divorce.”

And it’s always for negative things, never positive.

I don’t know the anon’s intentions so I won’t read into that. But generally I think there’s a real issue with people not understanding public vs private spaces on the internet. I talk about it a lot but if you think about it, the internet is very new to us as a species and we haven’t quite worked out how it fits in. I think it’s human nature to gossip. I do it, most people do it. It’s beneficial to our social dynamics as a species. But pre-internet most people understood that you save the gossip for small, closed groups of people. People you trust, who know the context and your intention, and a space where the subject is extremely unlikely to hear about it so there’s not a realistic prospect of hurting them. Also in those days it would have been just a conversation in the moment, with no proof it ever happened. You wouldn’t go into a public square, stand on a box and hand out leaflets about the gossip to any passing stranger with no regard for who might see it. But on the internet, some people seem to struggle with this division. You follow someone for 5 years and see their life stories and you start to think they’re a friend. That plus the protection of anonymity makes people blur the line of public and private. They post things on the internet which can never be erased, might be viewed by millions of people who don’t have the context, and could be viewed by the person you’re talking about or by their children in the future etc. They treat social media as a private space because that’s how it feels to them, but it’s not. Whereas when it comes to talking about royals I try to be quite strict about drawing a line between public and private. Grace and I might gossip or share unsubstantiated theories - I’m not saying I’m above anyone, I do it all the time - but that’s not the same as me posting them on tumblr.

#ask #anon #royal fandom

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austronauts · 2 years

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the mitch marner (emotional support twink) primer

this originally existed as an unhinged googledoc I made for my friend and myself but more people started asking for it so I’m transferring it to my tumblr instead. I apologize in advance for uh, everything about this really. also thank you to all the tumblrs i link here!!!!!!!!!!! i’ll update/edit this as the need arises.

Sections are organized as follows:

general soft boy shit (aka “hes just a little dude...but my god is he loud”)

Mitch & his many dads/older brothers: aka Mitch and his Daddy Issues aka Why does every older man on your team become your dad? Why does every older man on your team come to take you under his muscular wing & come to view you as a yappy little pursedog that must be protected? WHY?????? (This section spiraled out of my control. I’m sorry)

Mitch Marner/Dylan Strome: ALSO an analysis of how auston needs to do better bc Dylan is a fellow SIMP and let me tell you: THEIR MUTUAL LOVESICK PUPPY behavior IS SOME GOOD SHIT

Mitch Marner/Auston Matthews: The vegan macaron/hunky meatwall (with mustache) ship that keeps me nourished and hydrated

SECTION 1: Primer & Soft Boy Shit

I’m not really going to talk about Mitch’s career and skills and all that because that’s what wikipedia pages are for. And if you ever watch Mitch play his skills are so so so obvious and mind-boggling. I’m just going to go straight into the sicko shit of what makes me want to like... gnaw on him like a chewtoy and squeeze him like a gogurt packet until he explodes.

https://pyrexic.tumblr.com/post/133980108208/if-anyone-wanted-to-know-what-happens-when-you I actually put this up top because this…I think is the most important primer you could read before delving into this monstrous documentation of my insanity. Why, you ask? Because it reveals a huge part of Mitch’s essence: someone who constantly wants and needs affection, is always giving affection, and seems almost embarrassingly transparent about it. Like, I grew up with jocks my whole life and have SEEN how toxic their social media is + how performative masculinity prevents them from showing vulnerability and affection. So, obviously this is a cherry-picked selection of tweets, but I do find it sweet that he doesn’t seem to shy away from public declarations of love or acting like a puppy with a twitter account.

This other mitch marner primer that’s far better than mine and gives you more insight into mitch’s life and how unbearably soft and squishy he is

https://theathletic.com/2469915/2021/03/25/mitch-marner-ohl-season/ An article that talks about what Mitch was like before he debuted in the NHL. THIS IS SUCH A GOOD ARTICLE but does have a paywall…if you don’t have a subscription, copy+pasting the athletic link into here should allow you to bypass

This episode of Connor Carrick (one of his former teammates)’s podcast that Mitch is featured on gives so much insight into Mitch’s personality and the guiding principles he tries to live by in sports and life. He’s just so genuinely caring and soft. CARING AND SOFT.

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/157908305701/theres-no-need-to-size-up-mitch-marner An entire article about how small Mitch is basically? I include it here bc of the part where Matt Martin (Mitch’s first Leaf Dad) makes fun of Mitch for being tiny lmao

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/155875792161 Just some soft boop images of Mitch Marner barnacle-ing himself onto various different meaty men “Dylan, what should people know about Mitch?” “He loves cuddling” AhahahaHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA oh my goddddddd

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/157080767571/im-so-bitter-about-the-fact-that-they-made-him Auston saying Mitch’s cheeriness in the morning is a bit too much sometimes lmao. He looks GENUINELY tired and fed up. It’s great

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/156622951361/bonus-when-talking-about-mitch-and-auston EARNEST BABY KNOW-IT-ALL MITCHY Also Matthew Tkachuk talking about how loud Mitch is. Mitch being really loud is a KNOWN THING (Morgan Rielly: “he just never shuts up”)

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/178636861456/auston-he-mitch-is-notorious-for-watching “Mitch is notorious for watching these kids cartoons movies,” said known cinephile auston matthews

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/157524671086/mitch-marner-rockin-those-knee-high-socks-since Just a knobby-kneed cutie :’’’)

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/166824930006/a-guy-that-is-so-small-poor-mitchy-lol “A guy that is so small.” “A GUY THAT IS SO SMALL”

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/172351445501 “Just a fun goofy kid” :’’’) wow they love their pup

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/159612343906/yes-keep-on-praising-my-son-please Just some players praising rookie Mitch for his skill…and ofc talking about how small he is lmao

SECTION 2: ZADDY! Mitch the baby leaf & His Team of (ex-) Leaf Dads. (aka Mitch anytime he meets a man even 1 day older than him: Hello are u my dad? HI DAD)

So i think it’s important to preface this section with the note that Mitch has a definite habit of attaching himself to any older player he can consider a father figure/older brother. He says things like “he takes care of me,” or “I feel taken care of,” or “I feel protected,” when talking about these teammates, which makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that Mitch really really really wants to feel protected and safe (wats mitch’s love language? just being a little dude!). I’m not going to psychoanalyze here… but I do think it’s interesting that Mitch’s dad is notorious for being a “Hockey Dad” who pushed Mitch relentlessly on and off the ice, and has antagonized himself somewhat in the media and from the Maple Leafs team for toxic behavior. (For reference, I’ll just share This documentary about Mitch when he was really young ) I know Mitch loves his dad and that Mitch wouldn’t be where he is without that passion and sacrifice from his parents, and I cannot IMAGINE everything Mitch’s dad did to help Mitch get where he is in his career. But at the same time, Mitch’s hunger for older supportive father figures who will “protect” and “take care of” him seems much more pronounced than any other athlete i’ve followed. Because Mitch has so many dads, this part is broken into subsections, ordered by increasing significance lmao. The 2 MOST important dads are at the end (Matt Martin, Patrick Marleau)

Dad Subsection: Random Assortment of dads/older brothers

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/159281136646/so-i-just-asked-who-mitchs-roomie-on-the-road-is Zach Hyman - not that much older than Mitch. Still dad

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/686879090146492416/travisdermott-x Zach Hyman - seeing/hearing Mitch singing loudly during his media interview

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/685016310642622464/oilers-leafs-january-5-2022 Zach Hyman - complimenting Mitch and calling him “Mitchy” even after he got traded to a rival team.

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/684698381637025792 Zach Hyman - just really loves Mitch a lot!

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/684698793746300928/a-little-nerdy-kid Nathan Mackinnon - putting this here because this isn’t really DAD content per se but it is one of the cutest fucking things I’ve ever read. Nathan Mackinnon really EMPHASIZES how small Mitch is at least THREE times. This entire interview is literally Nate just going “Minch is just a little dude and I’m going to kidnap him” over and over again? The hilarious thing is - according to their official NHL profiles they are the same height lmao (although Nathan has ~13 kgs on Mitch) WHAT IS THE TRUTH?

https://9116.tumblr.com/post/680170009989906432 Again, Mo isn’t really a DAD per se, but this video of Mitch feeding Mo a timbit is adorable. Also, Mo is just great.

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/159731626681/someone-had-the-guts-to-touch-mitch-so-papa-bozie Tyler Bozak - dad. And DAD PROTECC

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/685458623405703168/willynylanders-why-are-you-so-happy-me Mitch hugging James van Riemsdyk like a little koala bear because why not?

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/158514417666/mitch-kicking-the-puck-jvr-standing-up-for-his James van Riemsdyk - who “RARELY FIGHTS” - standing up immediately for Mitch and fighting the opposing team player who hit Mitch. They love their little son. Honestly seeing how much Mitch is loved by the older players is one of the most endearing things I’ve ever seen with my tired cynical eyeballs. Mitch also vacationed with JVR (and Justin Holl who will get his own subsection) in Italy this summer.

https://brandoncarlo.tumblr.com/post/161798964692/sorry-brian Brian Boyle - chirping Mitch for his poor baseball skills. Mitch, earnestly responding - “Sorry, Brian”

https://brandoncarlo.tumblr.com/post/158757352277/theyre-all-bullies Brian Boyle - casual bullying is a hockey dad’s greatest love language

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/156925254931/please-let-the-chin-grab-forever-be-a-thing-it This is how you do a goal celly with a baby, apparently. a little chin grabbing

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/156292739506/glovesdropped-one-thing-these-kids-bring-to-the This is how you do a goal celly with a baby Part II

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/156416870286/a-pup-with-his-dad-and-two-uncles-3 Mitch and his adoring circle of dads

Dad Subsection: Zach Bogosian

During Covid, Zach’s wife and kids were stuck in the States, so Mitch and his fiancee invited Zach to live with them. Zach is 8 yrs older than Mitch and looks at least 15 yrs older (I mean this in a complimentary way to both lmao).

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/684638392862048257/its-just-intensely-precious-that-bogo-wasnt-with Their special handshake!

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/683014218066411520 Special handshake again! (

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/684638108496642048 They went on vacation together (also please note the size difference of bogo’s and mitch’s HANDS????????? Bogo’s GIANT POTLID HANDS vs. Mitch’s dainty little hands)

https://twitter.com/kristen_shilton/status/1441424046772482053 Interviewer: what is it like to live with Zach? Mitch: well first of all Zach is a DADDY

https://www.sportsnet.ca/nhl/video/bogosian-marner-living-together/?show_id=13373 Zach talking about what it was like to live with Mitch. Zach is a pretty good and enthusiastic interviewer (compared to other hockey players who have the off-ice charisma and eloquence of a rock covered in dead grass bits), but the way his face - especially his eyes - visibly soften when he starts talking about living with Mitch?? Yes I’m reading into shit way too much but you can tell how genuine his affection for Mitch and Steph is.

Dad subsection: Justin Holl

Justin also lived with Mitch during Covid and apparently have the closest friendship on the Leafs (devastating day for all auston/mitch shippers. I jest but seriously. Noone knew that they were that close until recently and we were all shook).

Ok I already have a Mitch/Justin primer here so am just going to link that https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/686949261073645568/wait-justin-holl-lore-as-a-verified-lore

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/682592207827517441 Vacationing together in Miami *They vacationed together again this summer in Italy and Paris

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/686698201859915776/dermott-via-12jholls-instagram-story-december Spending Christmas together

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/682365966615805952/mitch-just-getting-bullied-x Casual bullying

Dad Subsection: Nazem Kadri

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/171446123931 Nazem Kadri - DAD

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/159349132011/ive-had-thorough-conversations-with-all-of-them NAZEM KADRI - DAD AGAIN (also “mitch is my special project” is so cute wtf)

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/686422919286587392/anzekopistar-thank-you-naz-for-this-blessing Mitch looking like a tumescent little THUMB in Naz’s instagram story (of the 2 of them hanging out at a baseball game together)

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/684926483647627264/tysbarrie-post-game-nazem-kadri-january-25 It’s the way Naz’s entire face softens into a fond smile when he notices Mitch for me. WHYyYYyy

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/684926399776194560/travisdermott-from-a-teammates-point-of-view An excellent comprehensive set of Mitch + Naz moments

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/682260490254254080/actual-puppy-mitch-marner I love that Naz’s instinct with Mitch is to actually treat him like a puppy lmao. No but forreal I find this gif so endearing it makes me want to gnash my teeth and run into the woods.

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/681995581230612480/andersens-source Naz is the “cool dad” part 1 - Mitch and Naz playing pranks on unsuspecting teammates and finding it the most hilarious thing on this planet

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/685561480832303104/weewillynylanders-nazem-kadri-vs-mitch-marner Naz is the “cool dad” part 2 - gamer bros

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/160854392336 Nazem Kadri posts instagram pic. Son Mitch complains that he’s not tagged in it. He is not tagged in it because HE IS NOT IN THE PHOTO. Dad Nazem tags Mitch anyway. LOVE THIS

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/157791804906/but-guys-mitch-used-this-for-his-new-instagram Where Mitch - with the use of a single emoji - emphatically declared “I’m baby.”

THE VERY IMPORTANT SUBSECTION: MATT MARTIN - so it turns out that Matt was the ultimate OG team dad/older brother/emotional support jock for Mitch when he was a wee rookie. Their relationship is actually the cutest fucking thing and i may scream right now in this club. The most important part of Their Lore is that when Mitch was a rookie, the Leafs’ then coach Mike Babcock did this terrible thing of asking Mitch to rank all his teammates (literally ALL older and more experienced than him) by work ethic. Babcock presumably did this to teach Mitch that Mitch needed to work harder, but my GOD, what an incredibly shitty thing to do to a rookie. Anyway, Mitch made this list and put himself down last, which is probably what Babcock intended. THe real shitty thing Babcock did though was to TELL the Leafs that Mitch ranked in the bottom 3 that MITCH RANKED THEM IN THE BOTTOM 3. Again, I cannot emphasize enough - what the fuck and WHY would you do this to a rookie who’s trying to adjust to the NHL and fit into the team??? Anyway, to give massive amounts of credit to the Leafs here (because we know of a lot of toxic lockerrooms that would not have done the same), they all defended Mitch (who literally cried when this happened because of course you would!). Matt Martin, however, got HEATED in particular and apparently got into a fight with Babcock that escalated so much that other teammates needed to intervene. Apparently this massive break in the relationship between Babcock and Matt Martin was one of the factors that led to Matt Martin getting traded to the Islanders soon after. But anyway, they still seem to be close (Mitch went to Matt Martin’s wedding; Matt Martin LITERALLY wears a Mitch jersey - NOT FROM HIS MAPLE LEAFS DAYS BUT FROM MITCH’S PRE-NHL LONDON KNIGHTS DAYS; Matt Martin wore a chain/necklace with Mitch’s jersey number - 16 - on it at his own wedding. WHAT IS GOING ON???? Matt Martin’s now wife Sydney also treats Mitch like a son & was an older sister figure for Mitch’s fiancee Steph etc. no honestly if you don’t let me stop i will go on forever so just please muzzle me and drag me away from my laptop this instant)

Also there’s genuinely so much Mitch/Matt moments so I’m sorry to do this but I must direct you to my Matt Martin tag because there’s more here. I do tend to reblog the same things over and over again mostly due to my shit memory, but THIS IS REALLY the most comprehensive Matt/Mitch shit out there I GUARANTEE YOU. if u dont believe me we can make a bet about it on draftkings or whatever shit wayne gretzky is shilling out there these days.

With this incredibly long preface out of the way, I now present:

Leaf to Leaf video between Matt & Mitch part 1 This is literally…the flirting and sexual tension - this is why toronto maple leafs deleted this video from their channel i just know it. No but seriously - their playful chirping (and Mitch trying to insult Matt twice and immediately backing down because Mitch Marner is BAD AT VERBAL JABS), their agreement to go to Italy TOGETHER just THE TWO OF THEM, THE BLINDFOLDED SENSUOUS MAPLE SYRUP TASTING. SIR, WHAT IS GOING ON. FELLAS IS IT GAY?

Leaf to Leaf video between Matt & Mitch Part 2 The actual Part 2 has disappeared into the void of the internet but this video has most of it - the argument about who’s better at Monopoly. HELP. They’re both so fucking dumb and I’m going to eat them.

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/166941715371 i am being attacked

lichtrally the sweetest photo of all time I WILL NOT STOP YELLING

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/166775411676 Mitch basically - “ok so Matt Martin is my dad”

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/156678922086/dare-013117 Dad introduces son to the dark art of smelling salts

Matt on defending Mitch from opponent players: “Noone touches my Mitchy.”

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/155931985081/credit-httpswwwredditcomrleafscomments5o2 MORE DAD SON SUPERSTITIONS AND BONDING

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/158789962401/huggsies-after-the-win-against-the-devils Dad son hug

https://mrsfleury91.tumblr.com/post/156196438546 Dad-son connection. DAD SON VACATION!

THEE MOST IMPORTANT DAD SUBSECTION: MITCH MARNER/PATRICK MARLEAU

So Patty joined the Leafs in 2017, and became Auston and Mitch’s official team dad. Like, Patty literally called Auston and Mitch his 5th and 6th sons several times. Again, I must direct you to my Patrick Marleau tag if you, like me, are a feral internet raccoon that enjoys dumpster diving for CoNtEnT.

But some key moments:

The Patrick Marleau & Mitch Marner Leaf to Leaf: Part 1 Part 2 Many cute and questionable moments (for example, why does Mitch call a stick figure a pencil man…I genuinely do not understand. Is this a Canadian thing or a Mitch Marner thing (something I have asked myself one too many times), but the most devastating moment is when Mitch asks “what advice would you give me?” and Patty says this. WITH THE SOFT MELLIFLUOUS PIANO IN THE BACKGROUND THAT THE LEAFS VIDEO EDITORS TOTALLY ADDED TO EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATE ME INTO EXPERIENCING ONE (1) FEELING….ITS JUST A LOT

Patty’s Player’s Tribune message after he retired - the part where he talks about Auston and Mitch especially. Cool cool cool im fine im fine

Mitch, Auston, and Patty getting interviewed by Elliotte Friedman - this is where they talk about how they became close. I think I noted this above somewhere but they bonded by watching Cars 3 together while eating dessert. Mitch and Patty were on one bed. I don’t know how to explain it but this is the most Mitch Marner thing ever, including the dubious choice of movie. I mean, Cars 3? Thee worst Pixar film?

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/685443729556979712/cmarleau-our-summer-nights-are-side-note Lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. WHAT is happening.

Mitch & Auston talking about Patty being an old boring dad

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/682173512704819200/tysegs-marnsmallow-id-just-like-to-point-out When your biological son wears SOCKS with your adopted son on them, I believe that’s when you can say you’ve reached the absolute pinnacle of fatherhood.

Patty, his wife, and kids being interviewed The best part is when they ask the kids who the best mini-sticks player in their family is, and the exchange between 2 kids go like this: [Who’s the best mini-sticks player] Kid 1 (they dont show who’s speaking here so I don’t know!): MITCH! Kid 2: no they mean in OUR family Kid 1: he IS in our family!

Section 3: MITCH MARNER/DYLAN STROME: SWEET PUPPY LOVE & BLATANTLY SACCHARINE PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION The real enemies-to-lovers narrative was coming from inside the house (house: the 2015 nhl draft kids)

https://pyrexic.tumblr.com/post/133979944708/the-ballad-of-mitch-and-dylan The Mitch / Dylan primer

https://live-in-fury.tumblr.com/post/146582256497/talk-more-about-stromemarner-i-like-reading The Mitch / Dylan primer part 2

https://mcdavid97.tumblr.com/post/128125813011/the-selfie-result taking derpy selfies together: LMAO

https://crosbs.tumblr.com/post/137934824037/stromarner-firing-it-up-again Dylan Strome to Mitch: “hi bae”

https://hawkwardly.tumblr.com/post/133383650832/smiley-rielly-dylan-stromes-player-cam Dylan & Mitch: being idiot hotel roomies together

https://dwstrome.tumblr.com/post/144624590772/last-hug-first-hug Just 2 boops cuddling

https://live-in-fury.tumblr.com/post/152401123377/do-you-ever-think-about-softstromarner-because-i Literally Dylan Strome: “I love you”

https://wonthetrade.tumblr.com/post/156469676980/in-that-third-gif-of-the-marner-dropping-the-puck Soft boys!!! Also comparing the Mitch/Dylan ship to Mitch/Auston is so interesting bc of how different Dylan and Auston are? It seems Dylan at least MATCHES Mitch’s enthusiasm for simping and cuddling and physical affection and like…wow…Auston…do better!!

https://jasonspezzas.tumblr.com/post/646313515096899584/look-all-im-saying-is-trade-alex-kerfoot-for THEY BOTH LOVE CUDDLING. HOW DO THEY KNOW THIS?

https://virtanucks.tumblr.com/post/155427979527/fruit-salad-by-dylan-strome-feat-mitch-marner Just 2 puppies attacking fruit

Addendum: Mitch’s relationship with Dylan AND Connor Mcdavid aka the 3 top canadian boys from the 2015 NHL draft is really sweet. Most of the Mitch/Connor stuff is captured in my connor mcdavid tag But some additional mitch/dylan/connor stuff - The 2015 NHL draft everglades tour, The 2015 NHL draft baseball game, and this photo I find adorable

SECTION 4: Auston/Mitch Auston/Mitch are the most popular ship out there so I’m going to keep this section relatively concise because, but some cute highlights from MY perspective.

ok honestly - i have some stuff down below but nothing will be as important, comprehensive, or heartbreaking as this incredible 1634 primer written by @typicaltk

https://zoehickel.tumblr.com/post/154354808778/okay-but-auston-and-mitch-canonically-drive This primer is 5 yrs old but i guess in some ways it is the library of alexandria of 1634. So let’s start here.

I dont have links for this because it’s like eminently obvious in every single photo of them but their size difference is basically...[longest yeah boy in the world.mp4]

One of my favorite things about Mitch and Auston is Mitch’s devotion to gassing Auston up in every media appearance he does: The NHL players discuss fashion trends video - Mitch’s response for everything is “Well I can’t pull that off but u know who can? AUSTON. I JUST THINK HE’S NEAT. HEARD OF HIM?” NHL players guess their NHL video game rankings video - please note Mitch’s OUTRAGE (and squeaky voice) at how low auston’s score is while auston himself is just “ok cool”

https://mitchski.tumblr.com/post/181380540673/x The most important auston/mitch moment in my humble opinion. HE COULDN’T LET GO OF ME.

https://mitchski.tumblr.com/post/181380206933/x i was looking respectfully* (*= this is a flagrant lie)

https://leafsgm.tumblr.com/post/680835740192718848/mitch-and-austons-heritage-classic-gloves-i they both draw smiley faces and shit on their gloves to remind themselves that hockey is supposed to be fun

https://9116.tumblr.com/post/184088746020/mitch-marner-shot-by-auston-matthews-apple have u ever wondered what mitch looks like from auston’s perspective. now u know

auston chirping mitch on social media: mitch’s poor baseball skills (ft. mitch’s scrawny butt wiggling lmao) auston not responding well to mitch nagging auston for instagram tags auston chirping mitch on instagram then backtracking

https://mitchski.tumblr.com/post/154732764998/x auston: mitch copies (derogatory) my style mitch: i just copy (affectionate) auston :D *OK I think this deserves more scrutiny because clearly SOMETHING about this moment taught mitch the wrong lesson that adding a hat to any outfit officially elevates the outfit to FASHION, COUTURE, GLAMOUR. and i... give a man a fish u feed him for a day. teach a man about hats and u’ll be tormented with weird hat photos for the rest of ur life. that’s how the saying goes right

Mitch responding to Auston’s GQ photoshoot & trying to be supportive but failing (the moment comes towards the end of the video but including the entire link because he’s cute lol)

https://mitchski.tumblr.com/post/664607719503937536/x Auston complimenting Mitch’s karaoke skills

https://nhldraftbust.tumblr.com/post/680756976047865856/phillymyers-known-goon-mitch-marner-defends KNOWN TWINK GOON MITCH MARNER IMMEDIATELY JUMPING INTO FIGHT A MUCH LARGER MAN FOR HIS MUCH LARGER FRIEND AUSTON MATTHEWS. Mitch Marner’s fighting skills include: aggressive hugging, weaponized cuddling, ?????????????????

#mitch marner primer #unhinged chaos #girl help #mitch marner

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kerabinberries · 2 months

Text

kers on tumblr? kers on tumblr

Our Ker: @getstoneddrinkwetcement (based on a vintage pin ive seen floating around here)

ton of cool vontage punk and queer stuff. anarchy posting. black and white photos of angry girls in heavy makeup. music blogger whos blog is full of spotify links (she has the hacked app) and photos of artists. a lot of jokes but not like looky or the admiral, more sardonic and jaded humor. big in the cripplepunk and madpunk communities. posts a lot of her thoughts and they dont read as very coherent at first just because of the foul informal rude and slightly jumbled way she talks but if you dig into it she really has solid opinions. shes just sooo bad at expressing them. then again some of them go completely off the rails stupid. so many vintage pins like the one she got her url from and motorcycles and weapons. she WILL give you instructions for a pipe bomb but only over dms. this ones kinda short but she knows what shes like and its reblogging the above items.

Looky: @lookywhatthecatdraggedin

she has soooo many mutuals and if you follow her your dash will be COVERED in her talking to them via asks and dms that get screenshotted and @ing eachither and reblog chains and art trades and so on and so forth. she plays up the social in social media to the extreme. her blog is almost all jokes, cool art, and stuff like educational or donation posts. she likes furries and has a ton of furry mutuals and really fun sparkledog type sonas. most of the images and art she reblogs is BRIGHTLY COLORED but she hasan eyestrain warnjng in her blog title for accessibility. she posts tons of art, and has a bunch of sideblogs. shes got a furry sideblog and is comstantly churning out really cool and cutesy digital art and occasionally a traditional doodle or two. mutuals with her actual real life dad and uncle. sends her brothers annoying anonymous asks. occasionally gets into discourse but in the most uninvolved annoying way possible, mostly to back up friends or people getting dogpiled. posts wild shit that happens to her family all the time and only occasionally exaggerates. she posts a lot of videos from when she was a little kid that would have gotten her taken away by cps if they had gotten out sooner. absolutely irresponsible tomfoolery thats only funny in retrospect because it didnt kill her.

The Admiral: @admiralawesom/e

she would absolutely post a lot of marine aesthetic stuff, just for jokesies, although she would love to have a motorboat she would not be posting navy blue stuff and anchors and tallships if she wasnt joking about her name. lots of nature photography especkally of the pacific northwest. lots of animals, lots of educational posts about nature, and so so so so sooooo many stupid fucking memes and joke posts. she makes a ton of posts and while shes no funnyman occasionally she makes just the right mix of unhinged words and just the right person sees it and she ends up with a 50k note joke post. she has a lot of mutuals and loves to message them and send them asks and tag them in stuff. frequently lies, shes singlehandedly keeping tall tales alive. she loves urban legends as well and for some reason creepypasta (you wouldnt think it.) the kind of girl to post half her medical history in her blog description. has a caard or carrd or whatever and it looks terrible. ironically? genuinely? impossible to know and she wont tell you. travels a lot and posts insane vacation photos with obi wan. she always refers to him as dad but he occasionally audibly refers to himself as her uncle in videos she posts. this causes confusion and gets her a barrage of anons. she answers one with "we argue about it all the time" and that was the end of it. everyone probably thought she was joking but its true. they have a longstanding argument on whether hes a dad or an uncle. neither of them have made any headway with the other.

Shmii: @sliveredsilve/r

she wouldn't really Get tumblr, but if someone were to set her up an account with some blogs already followed she could easily get the reblogging part. navigating tech is second nature, but social stuff? finding things online? i just dont think she would do it. she probably likes more hands on activities. a modern shmii would be obsessed with a motorcycle her dad got her when she was little. the ones they make for kids but with the speed inhibitor taken off, obviously. she would always be buying parts and tools to upgrade it (well) and painting it new colors (poorly). she would defjnitely post pictures of it all the time, but they wouldnt be very good pictures. she'd probably post more than reblogging, using it like an actual blog. she'd be really into big metal sculptures and welding, she'd collect knives, especially throwing knives and hunting knives, and she'd post videos of caring for them and pictures of her new ones. she posts pictures of her puppy (her mouse droid would be a puppy in a normal earth au) all the time and pictures of her family, and childish art she did on paper with crayons or on whatever free art program cane with her computer (said fondly, childrens art is good)

Baby: @bab/y (guess how she ended up with a url like that)

she would totally be like, 2000s pink aesthetic with lots of makeup and outfits and accessories and piercings and shit. like @pinkflipphone if i reblogged less tech and more fashion, and it was a liiiiittle trashier lol. she'd have one of the top blogs and would constantly sic her followers on people who annoy her or have opinions she doesnt like. stochastic terrorist. posts her own fashion as well. she always has tailored outfits, but theyre a little more douchey and a little less bimbo than the fashion she posts. like if a really terrible man from jersey shore dresses exactly the same except the shirts swapped out for a pink cheetah print crop top type corset. yes she wears snapbacks. she has intentionally rancid takes and will die on any hill, she'll die in a valley if she likes. yes some of her followers will doxx and stalk you irl about these hills and/or valleys. queen of the new age cyberbullies.

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