#gets lost when yknow. i actually cant and at this point dont want to live life. so i might as well keep working. also it hurts
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HONESTLY..ive been thinking a lil.
so i started down my path to becoming a professional character designer in 2013, when i designed my very first character who was MEANT to be a character design exercise. i cant exactly remember what prompted me wanting to go into character design--it could have just been that i was passionate about designing characters to the point of where i had looked up if that was a job or not--but it had become such a passion of mine that i would go on to study and practice character design for like 10 years afterward.
in 2018 i started to take this career path more seriously by enrolling in stephen silver's schoolism class, the fundamentals of character design. this was significant for me because stephen was at the time a very recent idol of mine and i admired his abilities--plus this would count as my first "formal" character design learning experience. i didnt feel very good after taking the class; it was critiqued, and i kind of got ripped into lol. but after i recovered, i didnt give up and just worked harder, eventually taking his second class a couple years later. that time i did pretty well and i came out feeling like i was finally ready to apply to jobs in the industry!
unfortunately, erm...the job hunting was not only Not a success, but it only served to kind of kill my passion for character design. every time i applied i was rejected and every critique i asked for gave me something new i had to do differently. one critique in particular hurt me a lot and killed my passion for art overall (obviously not completely, i have the art autism so i could never fully fall out of love for it lol). it got to the point where last year (2023) i made the decision to give up on character design as a career and just do commissions full time.
dont get me wrong, i am very happy doing commissions as my full time job!!! i love drawing people's blorbos :]...but also, its a very inconsistent income, and theres been a couple months where i couldnt make rent without help, and that doesnt feel good at all.
so ive been thinking. i dont rly wanna go back to the industry--it still feels bad to me and right now it seems as though the industry is not in a great environmental situation anyway, so i dont wanna even attempt to try getting a job there again. however........i was honestly reconsidering if i had actually lost the passion for character design because it just genuinely wasnt my true passion, or if i had only lost it because the industry killed it. and i think the conclusion i came to was that yeah it was the industry's fault that made me fall out of love with it because it made me feel like i was doing everything wrong and nobody would like my design style.
so now my thought is like...maybe i dont HAVE to work in the industry to be a professional character designer? sure itd be AMAZING for my work to be on like. cartoon network or something. but i dont think i Have to work at a studio to be happy in that career path?? like..idk. maybe i can be a freelancer or something. if an industry opportunity shows itself i dont think i'll decline, but i wont actively seek them out anymore.
its just that i feel like ive put too much work and time and money and effort and passion into character design yknow? i dont feel right anymore just letting the industry kill that passion. i wanna reignite it and use the knowledge and skills ive gained over the 10 years ive been working at it to make a good living for myself. yeah itd be great to get guild pay lol, but if i can just...figure out how to do freelance character design work, then i think it can be just as good and fulfilling
sorry for the long post i just needed to air some thoughts out as usual <33 i guess this does show that character design still is my passion LOL i talked so fucking much about it after all. if u have any thoughts to share feel free i guess
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sorry for all the ooc, things are wrong with me. anyways i was in prae for the umpteenth time and every time im there all i can picture is the gaius that lives in my brain being forced to go through prae and its him with his head in his hands like "please. dont. dont make me remember being Like This"
im going to talk about gaius, sorry
(caveat: i have a better werlyt in my brain.)
his arc is that he went from a True Believer to "ah. these are people.". me forcing him to live thru prae era again is the cringe punishment cube.
a clarification to werlyt arc rewrite: yeah he did war crimes and he did them on purpose. he was aware they were war crimes. he knew that other legions did bad things, though he consistently underestimated the amount and cruelty of human experimentation going on. he knew other legions tended to treat eorzeans as lesser
however he really did believe in Something. he believed varis's propaganda and that varis was a benevolent leader, that it wasnt just primals but eorzea's belief in gods in general that were killing their own land bc he cant tell the difference between a primal and a god. he was fully committed to "these people are savages and heres some fuckin, fantasy version of the white mans burden" which is obviously incredibly wrong and fucked but yknow, it fuels the war machine. he was a soldier who never even thought to ask questions.
all he did was believe wholeheartedly in the propaganda fed to him and therefore rationalize "torching this entire country is fine, right". cannot stress enough i am not excusing the war crimes. im just making him a consistent character with a mildly rational arc. he super did those war crimes and did them on purpose. but he also did protect the war orphans his own war caused and had no issue whatsoever letting eorzeans who wanted to join the army to protect themselves do so. equality of opportunity providing you pledged fealty to garlemald, bc being of garlemald's population made you Better and Not A Savage and therein lies the line of who it's fine to kill if they fight back and who can be treated with respect.
unfortunately, ascians. gaius got his ass handed to him and the result is [nervous laughter] oh shit the army is super not infalliable and always right and very capable of and prone to wanton destruction instead of targeted attacks specifically to claim territory, hence the depression arc. he's pissed at ascians and wants to die. two birds one stone, hunt ascians till one of them kills him. meet people who want him dead and yknow theyve got a fucking point.
though he did still believe in the last vestige of "maybe things arent completely fucked and i didnt spend my entire life believing in utter bullshit lies?" that varis was a Good Emperor and Capable Of/Genuinely Interested In Ensuring Protection Of Garleans until the black rose incident. he still had a weird loyalty towards him that maybe he could get varis to like. not enact biological warfare against his own men. if he were just able to talk to him. but twas not to be and gaius essentially just [throws hands into air] OKAY! FINE! FUCK ME I GUESS!
hed already entirely lost faith that anything in garlemald's extant ruling structure could be salvaged while they still tried to wage war, weapon series just brought into light how deeply rotten the army had been the entire time when gaius had turned a blind eye to any operations that weren't his own.
if he met himself from his prae monologue now he'd strangle one of himself he doesnt care which one just free him from whatever this is hed Rather Die
the only thing im keeping him actually genuinely 100% totally unaware of from werlyt is the weird Thing livia had for him. shes out there hollering HIS BODY IS MINE as gaius is like "[completely out of earshot every time she does that] haha livia shes like a relative of mine i guess" and thats because i think its very funny.
on a SECOND DIGRESSION ABOUT PRAETORIUM
like. look. garleans cant use aether. i desperately want the explanation for how the fuck this man is pulling shadow clones out of his ass when he repels magic. i choose to believe the X beams are either ceruleum fire or aether cartridges charged by someone else but this cannot explain fuckin naruto shadow clone jutsu going on. what the fuck, gaius.
#headcanon : gaius#sometimes i see people giving werlyt a bunch of shit and i go :(! before remembering that the Consistent Gaius Character only exists for me#me like aww it wasnt that bad-- oh wait yes it was oopsies
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[ID: Three screenshots of Discord messages sent by the user AAAAAA Battery (who is me). Transcript:
ough im still thinking about orv, this is exactly what happened with mp100 honestly, where it makes you think about the message its sending and how its messages are being sent through the "unexpected" actions the characters are taking like showing compassion to enemies and never losing that core even as the plot progresses and starts getting more complicated
[10:48 PM]bc its a story about how temperamental humans can be once youve taken away their comforts and luxuries, they become "as ruthless as klingons" as star trek said, friends and family turn on each other to survive, they throw each other under the bus, they kill each other, they sabotage, they assault, they do all these horrible things when maybe they once promised they would never try to hurt you
[10:48 PM]very squid games
[10:52 PM]but then you got to other end of the spectrum where people will band together and keep a strong moral core, this wish to help others even when your own situation is bleak, that even those that were deemed irredeemable could use their second chance to help those they originally stepped on, that those deemed lost causes or burdens end up being irreplacable allies
[10:52 PM]very mp100
[10:58 PM]at no point have i ever felt that orv lost sight of the focus on human psychology or get bogged down with debates about redemption and whether someone "deserved" the fate they received (which is a very christianity-heavy subject might i add), but whether or not the person/character in the scenario has chosen to help them or abandon them completely
[11:04 PM]and the thing with dokja is that hes not your typical "yeah ill help you out of the good of my heart and bc im a nice person! ill always do that for any person in need no matter who it may be!"
[11:05 PM]kind of person
[11:05 PM]thats sangah's job
[11:07 PM]so hes free to pick and choose who he wants to ally with and it wont be such an internal struggle to leave them behind when they act all superior or think they dont need him
[11:08 PM]he even has this whole thing with huiwon later
[11:11 PM]huiwon is this lady who he saved from poisonous gas and later becomes one of his companions/friends, and he was like "do you want to be companions?" she was all "what? did you not consider me one this entire time?" and he was all "no, i actually have. i was just thinking that you might not have reciprocated the sentiment"
[11:16 PM]he wont leave behind someone who needs his help, but when someone clearly doesnt want to be his friend or just wants to manipulate him hes like "yeah ok bye" and later they get cursed by their own hubris, or not, he dont care, thats none of his business hes just a background character after all /j
well there is one exception which is junghyeok but that guy is literally THE main character of the story within orv, dokja knows literally every single little detail about this guy and he cant afford to have the dude die prematurely bc the plot isnt going his way in his current life/groundhogs day scenario
[11:28 PM]but also junghyeok is very quick to murder people he doesnt trust which is Not Ideal when dokja, once again, knows every detail of every one of his lives, past present and future
[11:30 PM]so he does kinda have to force junghyeok to work with him even though they both hate every second of it
[11:35 PM]its so interesting and i keep having to hold myself back from saying that its not a typical trait for dokja, or even a main protagonist to have bc hes literally stated multiple times that hes not the main character, hes a reader, a background character, Just Some Guy, hes not confined to whats typical of his genre at all bc he was never supposed to fill that role in the first place which makes his whole existence a paradox within the narrative since yknow, from our perspective he is the main protagonist while junghyeok is a side character
[11:39 PM]and i think thats where having one of his skills, being able to break the fourth wall within his own world, is such an integral part of his whole thing, i actually thought that he was breaking the fourth wall in our world, but no hes breaking the fourth wall in his world
End ID.]
an analysis from a month ago when i caught up to the comic
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cw vent,, doin bad tonite lads
idk if i have PMDD or if it's the SAD or if it's the work stress or if it's the state of this country and the fact that I'm slowly losing hope of both living independently/being able to afford such as well as ever being able to ever begin to transition properly or just whatever the fuck but man im not having a good time
i keep thinking lately about how ive never been able to catch a break and like sometimes i feel like im blowing it out of proportion and that its not fair because i do actually lead a fairly privileged life but also like. i was literally bullied at the age of THREE by my nursery teacher because she mistook the clear signs of my neurodivergence as misbehaviour. i struggled through school because nobody noticed i was neurodivergent and the people who did didnt want to admit it. i developed body dysmorphia by the age of like 8 iirc. i was bullied throughout all of my childhood and struggled so badly because i didnt have any support in place because somehow nobody noticed the very clear signs of adhd and autism. i lost my teenage years to severe bullying which caused permanent trauma and then lost the four years of my life after finishing school to essentially becoming a carer for an abusive suicidal boyfriend and then spent months after his death blaming myself for "not doing enough" when i had literally become a recluse because i was afraid that if i went out he might need me and i wouldnt be available. this year was the first year i think ive ever actually felt Right because i felt like i had myself figured out and i was doing what i wanted and i felt free and i just. i think theres an element of grieving for probably like a good sixteen or so years of my life where i was consistently traumatised by something and had no chance to find myself as a person
i feel consistently selfish for it but i just want someone to see how much im struggling and acknowledge it yknow like. offer some help or take care of me for a bit. i dont understand why but im in this role of a protector and caretaker for others and whilst i want to look after people and i care so so deeply about the people i do look after id also like to be looked after occasionally, you know? like. the day my cat died my partner was there and i got out of bed and my mum gave me the news and i went downstairs and i held her and i went back to my room and got in bed and started crying and. my partner put their arm around me and said he was sorry and i just curled up into them and cried and i genuinely think its the most ive ever felt cared for in at least my working memory
when i was younger sometimes my dad would try to comfort me when i cried and when i tried to explain why i was crying he would say "oh, [deadname]" in this really sympathetic tone and i remember always hoping he would do it when i cried because it made me feel like someone was actually acknowledging how much i was hurting and there came a point where he stopped saying it and idr if it was just because i was getting older and it sounded condescending or if it was at the point where i started hiding from my parents when i was upset because i didnt want them to worry but there was a period of time where i would actually miss that exclamation every time i cried even though i wasnt coming to my dad for comfort
i want to ask for help and seek help and comfort and be vulnerable enough to let people know i need it but also theres people who rely on me and i worry that if i dont seem positive or up to it they might think they cant come to me and i want them to be able to come to me i really do. then also i feel like if i bring my hurt to others all im going to do is upset or inconvenience them and i dont want to do that
im just trapped because i dont want anyone to worry about me but also i kind of do and it makes me feel so selfish like why would anyone ever want people to worry about them but its just in that way that like. iwould maybe just like to be asked if im alright before ive expressed that im not. i would like someone to notice that im quieter than usual or that i dont seem as enthusiastic or upbeat as i do most of the time and ask how im feeling. even that makes me feel selfish though and i hate it because i know realistically that isnt selfish but equally any normal person would just seek out the comfort they need right?? but i cant because if i initiate it then it means im annoying someone or upsetting someone or taking up someone's valuable time
i dont understand how i can be both looking after others, taking time to check on them and make sure theyre alright, give advice and welcome people in if they need me, and then also at the same time feel like the world biggest dickhead if i even dare to think about asking for the same from someone. or refusing to take my own advice. i need a mental health break from work desperately and my partner keeps telling me this as well but i keep refusing because we had 4 staff members off sick this week and if i went off as well it would make things hard for them. i just cant,, prioritise myself
im tired of england and im tired of the world and im tired of having to figure out how im going to manage to exist in the way i want to one day and im tired of feeling selfish for desiring human contact and im tired of waking up before the sun's up and im tired of feeling sad and not understanding why and im just. im just tired
#sorry for this. fucking cringeass dump i just needed to write it all down somewhere#cw vent#personal
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what ended up happening with the driver of the truck that was apart of the crash?
i hesitated on answering this because i would like to have a oneshot including this later on but yknow what? tumblr exclusive. just for you guys. you'll know this before it happens :]
first im gonna remind everyone that the truck driver was not at fault. it was a mechanical failure and he did everything he could. it wasn't like... a back road, but it was empty and less traveled. i imagine it as a specific road i used to drive home from my previous college on, which... i cant like, give you the location of. it was the scenic route. it was also fairly early in the morning. all things to say it was an empty road.
also it was one of those smaller cargo trucks and not an 18 wheeler btw. i think an 18 wheeler would have really won that one. i was incorrect in calling it a semi and have to edit that. in my defense i dont know what a truck is. (it would be class 6 i now know. class 8 is considered a semi. i didnt want to know this much about trucks. crying rn.)
okay on to the actual answer lol.
the truck driver was the one who called 911. he was injured, the truck ended up tipping on its side, but it had lost some momentum (via, yknow, slamming into ranboo's family's car), but it wasnt anything bad enough that he wasn't able to get out of the truck and he wasn't knocked out (and adrenaline is a hell of a drug). he used that good ol' seatbelt cutter, got out of his truck, called 911. he when he realized that there was in fact a child on the side of the road, that somehow there was one person not in the mostly destroyed car, his first instinct was to go to ranboo and check that they were alive and then, when he realized they were, he just sat there with them with a hand on their left shoulder, because it was something. there wasnt really anything he could do, at that point moving them at all would only be detrimental, so he sat there. (he had his own kids, if something happened to them he would pray that at the very least they wouldn't be alone)
obviously ranboo was in no way aware of this, them being fully unconscious was the best thing that could happen in that moment (in the way of them not being aware of the pain). but ranboo always assumed they were alone, they never really thought about who called 911 or anything beyond their nightmares. its not a happy thing to think about. they never thought to ask about the truck driver. they only knew that no one was at fault because it was something they were told in the hospital for closure or whatever but 13-year-old orphan ranboo was not too interested in closure.
but yeah. pretty traumatizing experience, i mean, he was literally sitting beside a probably dying child. his injuries healed though. he changed careers, finding a good job was rough but he figured it out. it was a job that let him spend as much time as he could with his family. he went to therapy. like, accident or not, how do you get over that? he doesnt know if ranboo survived. he doesnt know what happened to them. he doesnt know their name. its just something he has to live with.
....i need a name for this man
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SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??
but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.
so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro.
oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry.
god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE
next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.
okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either.
so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.
#wonder egg priority#wonder egg spoilers#ai ohto#rika kawai#momoe sawaki#wonder egg priority neiru#i forgot neirus name#anime review#wonder egg ai#lgbtq anime
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magic reveal
So ive been thinking about the magic reveal we did get and also the different magic reveals we COULD have gotten so i thought id project all my thoughts into another massive tumblr rant:
personally, i dont think the magic reveal was bad at all. yes, i wouldve done it slightly differently, i think it was done way too late in the show and left little time to explore how that reveal affected merlin and arthurs relationship, and obviously we never actually ended up seeing if magic was legalised and all. but i dont hate the magic reveal we got. the key part i really love is that it was done on Merlins own terms, he could have just lied, but instead he finally told Arthur the truth and i think that there were many reasons for that decision being made.
firstly, Merlin definitely felt guilty and blamed himself for Arthur being stabbed, he must have at least partly blamed himself because everything he did directly led to Mordred turning into a little shit. Part of him might have just felt as if he owes Arthur that explanation yknow. secondly, i feel like by that point he was tired of lying in general, he needed to get that secret off his chest. those two things combined with the fact that Arthur was dying may have pushed him to telling the truth, because deep down he did know that it was probably the last chance to tell Arthur the truth.
i liked how they presented Arthurs reaction too, the clear message there was that Athur was angry at the lying, thats the part he saw as betrayal, not the magic itself. he didnt want to believe that Merlin was a liar, when he always saw him as the one person that was entirely honest with him. hell, he still trusted him enough to send him back to Camelot and Gwen so he knew Merlin wasnt evil. If the writers actually did a good job at developing Arthurs character, i feel like itd be more obvious that Arthurs stance on magic was different from his fathers, but yknow bbc and their shoddy writing. I love that moment of acceptance as well, when he tells Merlin that he doesnt want him to change. He doesnt even now about all the things Merlin sacrificed and lost in order to protect Arthur and Camelot but he still accepts him. I think that when he first fund out it was all like “holy crap i dont even know him” but after spending a few hours with Merlin he realises that its still the exact same person he knew the week before.
anddddd as much as i like the way they did that magic reveal, the ending of the show left me with no closure and a lot of tears. my ideal magic reveal wouldve happened earlier, either at the start of season 5 or near the end of season 4. It would give us a chance to see them talk it out, and god we know that there would be arguing, and if arthur wasnt dying he would probbaly be shouting but the key part here is that arthur wouldnt hurt merlin. i think he culd consider sending him away if his father was still king just to protect him but we all know merlin would reply with “no <3″. but since i cant see the reveal happening when uther is king, i will be ignoring that scenario. and again, theres many ways this could play out.
the one way that ive always found interesting was arthur figuring it out on his own, because he may be an idiot, but hes not stupid. *if you like this sort of thing read “so close and im halfway to it on ao3, its a merthur fic and the magic reveal in that one makes me cry so much and the fic is so well written* I feel like at one point, he would just put the pieces together, and it would all make so much sense to him? Merlins random disappearances and scars would make sense, the luck he had when it came to fights, Merlins weird reactions when someone mentioned magic, how on earth merlin of all people managed to survive every battle and fight arthur was in when some of his best knights didnt.
then theres the very cliche “merlin using magic mid battle to save everyone” reveal. because its mid battle, i really cant picture them talking it out there lol, i picture a lot of ignoring but also if other people saw him using magic, we all know the first thing arthur would do is give the knights a good old “if you kill him i will kill you and then myself”, it wouldnt be until later that they would actually talk.
and then like the canon magic reveal, theres Merlin doing it on his own terms. i personally really like thhis one because it gives him so much more control over the situation and over his words. *another fic rec here if you like this sorta thing, its called “to the world that let you by” and its really beautiful and made me cry at 1am so there you go, and as you guessed it, its another merthur*. i love this reveal because it gives merlin a chance to explain, and arthur a chance to listen and try to understand.
now there are loads of different sub categories that could go into those, like Arthur finding merlin creating butterflies out of thin air lol, but i wont go into those. whatever reveal would happen, i feel like “the talk” after would usually end up in a similar way. Arthurs reaction would be similar to what we got in the canon reveal, because the actual magic isnt what would hurt most. it would be the lies. Arthur has been lied to and betrayed by so many people you cant really expect him not to react badly to being lied to. the magic sure would confuse him and put him in a difficult position, because you have to keep in mind that his entire life he has been told that magic is pure evil, and to him, merlin is the polar opposite of that. i think it would just make him question everything, like does he even know this man? has he won any of his battles or has it always been merlin? why is he in camelot? why would a sorcerer be serving him? but he wouldnt hurt him. he wouldnt even consider that imo, sure, he will demand an explanation, but he wouldnt actually thin about hurting him.
and merlin would understand why hes angry about the lying, that much is obvious. and he would be reluctant to tell arthur about the things that were happening behind his back all those years, but he would be honest. and go that conversation would be hard for both of them, i cant really imagine them having it without a lot of crying, shouting and even more wine tbh. arthur isnt good at listening which is why this would be so hard for him too, but merlin has to be honest, completely honest with arthur for the first time in his life and thatd be difficult.
and i think merlin would handle arthurs reactions well, even if arthur decided to lose his temper lol. but i can still imagine him being a bit bitter if arthur judged his choices and stuff when it came to poisoning morgana and freeing the dragon, asking what on earth HE would do in that situation. where the only choices he sees are bad ones, and he has to pick the one thats least evil.
arthur would probably be most pissed off at the thing about his mother tbh, because merlin outright lied there, usually its just deflecting but he made that deliberate choice to lie. but i really do think he would understand all of this, while not every choice merlin did was good, he did it with good intention.
and then arthur would remove the ban on magic and they would kiss and get married amd live happily ever aft-
thanks bbc.
anyway if you want any more magic reveal fics (or links to the ones i mentioned, ao3 can be bloody annoying sometimes) feel free to comment or message me or anything, i have a couple more in my bookmarks.
thanks for reading this rant, scuse the bad grammar, id love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this and magic reveals in general so feel free to comment! have a great day<3
#merlin#bbc merlin#merlin magic reveal#magic#magic reveal#arthur pendragon#emrys#once and future king#merthur#merlin x arthur#arthur x merlin#rant#bbc arthur#bbc shows#lancelot#bbc lancelot#gwaine#sir gwaine#bbc gwaine#im tired#gwen#bbc gwen#morgana#morgana deserved better#merlin deserved better#mordred#knights of the round table#sir leon#bradley james#colin morgan
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i vagued about that several times, but i wanted to make a post alone bc i never actually dove into it i believe? im not really familiar with the emotion of anger since im rather irrational unlike bazz who... is just so familiar with it, anger, frustration or even hatred, he’s is good at keeping it silent or express it with a smile to not loose it... too good actually... bazz had unfortunately a lot of experience which left him scarred, traumatized, and he’s not the type to express his pain via melancholia but rather anger and his actions shows it pretty well.. and the thing is, its not out of pettiness, his anger is pretty rational, i can even call it determination, not a healthy one, but still rational
as a kid, he lost everything, i mean, literally... his parents, his home, basically everything that attached him to that life, the only thing.. or well, person left was jugram, who was his only friend back then (and ever was somehow), when he witness his home being burned down, he didnt cry or felt heartbroken like a child would, he was devastated yes, but to him mourning or coping wouldnt fix his loss, he took the path of revenge, the debt to his pain can only be repaid by punishing the one to blame, yhwach
so he trained, he trained day and night for 5 long years, he didnt just throw himself on yhwach to avenge his past out of hatred bc bazz is good at managing it, but he cant let go.. this is what i meant by determination, he couldnt let go what yhwach took from him after a year a two, the time he made a new life with jugram, his pain wont close until that man dies by his hands. (and obviously, its not heathly) and while i think he’s rational to feel that hatred, he shouldnt have let him consume him this much bc this is what made him even more broken
in FRIEND 3, he desperately tries to get yhwach’s attention, bc this is it, this is the endgame for him to finally live free, but what happens instead? he not only wasnt able to kill him but this time he truly looses everything and by the SAME person, yet, bazz doesnt wanna kill yhwach anymore after that... bazz' revenge was wanting to kill yhwach bc he took his everything back then, he did it again even there, but that second time seemed to scar him even deeper, not bc he has grown up (so his feelings are more developed as a teenager unlike a kid) but bc his everything had more value...
its jugram
you can tell, you can tell how one scarred more than the other, the day he lost his home, he was able to get up and say what he was going to do next, with determination and certainty, where here, in FRIEND3, we see his face in dismal but nothing after that bc it didnt get better, he got so hurt he didnt even try to convince jugram to come back, he was too broken for that... now he has nothing, not even a shoulder to lay on, just himself and an empty heart... with a small flame...
unlike his first loss, yhwach didnt take jugram’s life, he took him away from bazz, which explains why bazz didnt target yhwach, he thinks jugram left him rather than he was taken away/kidnapped, and that’s a big factor bc this is why bazz’ hatred is now aimed to jugram, he thinks he deliberately left him, for power or even to hurt him (bazz wont think of jugram’s feeling when he left him, he really believes he did it for selfish reasons)
so for 3 long lonely years, he wasnt thinking about joining back the army to be the strongest quincy like his kid self was dreaming about, he didnt join to become close to yhwach in order to kill him, he did it because of jugram... that hatred i mentionned earlier isnt toward jugram himself, its toward what he became, he doesnt like “that jugram”, he hates it so much he constantly wants to fight it but never with the intent to kill and you can tell by how he provokes him, and still listen to him by not pushing it
some would think his hatred toward him irrational or unfair, but its not, its totally rational he feels like that, he shouldnt feel like that if he wanted things to change ofc, but he cant step back and recognize his own mistake bc he doesnt think he made any.. HE was the one left behind, HE was the one who was supposed to be yhwach’s right hand bc HE was the one who lost everything... he was the protagonist of his own story and jugram kinda stole it... but i digress
what i wanted to say is, his hatred, that rage, he is capable to contain it and control it so well, he doesnt lash out in a violent way on jugram, he only provokes him... if he really hated jugram, to the point there is no love toward him anymore, it wouldnt be hard for him to break the rule and try to kill him even if it kills him.. i mean, what’s left for him to even be alive? literally nothing...
yhwach was easy to wish death on bc he has no attachment to him, at all, only pure hatred and revenge, where jugram, he still has that bond, that bond of a friend and even if jugram broke it, he cant help but still see him as a friend, he still loves him
and this is probably why it scarred him the most, in his whole life, he has never cared for someone as much as jugram... and now he sees that person whom he loved the most hurt him...., and i think that's why he wants to fight him, he wants to show/express his pain, prove jugram he's on the wrong path, not for jugram's good, for his own, since jugram is his everything.. that doesnt mean he doesnt care about ju and his wellbeing, he was still disappointed in what he became under yhwach's wing, he promised him THEY would be the greatest.. bazz didnt use jugram like yhwach would say, he wanted to be his partner more than anything
i know what you’re thinking, why did bazz said he would kill jugram in 630 "ill kill yhwach and you along" bazz didnt want to kill yhwach for the same reasons as when he was a kid aka burned his village down, in 630 he wanted to bc yhwach did the auswahlen again, he betrayed him.. so he wanted to kill jugram for the same reason, jugram kinda indirectly betrayed bazz with yhwach there bc he knews jugram knew about it,, and he’s now a lost cause to him.. this was kinda the "deadline" to trying to fix whats was between them, if not at the first war, if not in a 1000yrs, do you really think things would change after a second war? that loop wont end as long as one kills the other... and this is what happened, i dont think bazz had the intention to kill bc he hated jugram, but the pain is too much to bare, seeing the man you loved and cared, who felt the same toward you just ignore you over and over is... too much, maybe death was the only solution... i already talked about that, but if bazz was to win (which im pretty sure he knew he had very very low chances if not none) he would be horribly heartbroken...
i explained it before but, their fight was the best way to end their relationship in "good terms" and yknow how bazz said "things dont always turn out like you wanted them to" it just shows how bazz didnt want to result in that, in that fight, in everything that happened between them was nothing he wanted....
he truly loved ju, he just wanted his old jugram back and be the greatest together...
#bazz b#jugram haschwalth#*smiles through the pain*#i feel like this post is a bit empty...#but if i try to fill it. i know i will digress and make it endlessly long#tdlr: bazz is excellent at keeping anger as a very moderate level and is fucking gay#at a very*#how tf someone tries to join the fucking army for 3 fucking year just thinking about you even tho you broke their heart#no no he's not creepy about it bc he would have killed ju already if he was#that's right. HES FUCKING GAY#DAMN IT#I FUCKING HATE IT HERE#naki using her brain#actually. if its not clear enough or want me to develop something more#please send me an ask! i appreciate them 💖
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THE MR. FUSSY A BITCH MASTERPOST
I essentially remade the Mr. Rude apologism masterpost but with Mr. Fussy this time, in an attempt to see whether my newfound disliking of Mr. Fussy is justified or not. I've watched every single Mr. Fussy segment and determined whether he's an asshole or not, simple as that.
Season 1
Mr. Fussy is in 42 episodes in Season 1.
In 8 of these episodes does he do something wrong.
Season 2
Mr. Fussy is in 39 episodes in Season 2.
In 9 of these episodes does he do something wrong.
Conclusions
In total, Mr. Fussy did something wrong in 17 out of the 81 segments he's in, which is 20%. Counting the 7 I was unsure about, that's 23/81. 28%. Welp, that means I proved my point in doing this in the first place, I guess! It's official! Based off of my own data, Mr. Fussy is technically a bigger asshole than Mr. Rude!
Am I gonna do every single character? Probably.
Here, take my episode by episode analysis.
Welcome to the Episode by Episode analysis! Same colors as last time, minus blue as. Obviously he can't yell at himself.
Yellow - Mr. Fussy does nothing wrong
Red - Mr. Fussy does something wrong
Pink - I have no idea what to put for this one lmao
SEASON 1
Flying - He doesn't do anything wrong, he just wants to know if the pillow's clean. Even if he's a bit of a dick about it. Mr. Grumpy's the one who . yknow. kidnapped Mr. Bounce
Music - MR FUSSY A BITCH! He unfairly blamed Mr. Rude when Miss Naughty's the one who ruined the first performance :(
Physical - He doesn't do anything wrong, he was just judging the physical performance in his first bit and just participating in the relay race in his second bit
Farm - He doesn't do anything wrong he just got yeeted lmao
Lake - He doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Scatterbrain is just a moron
Beach - He doesn't do anything wrong, he just got justifiably mad at Mr. Scatterbrain for being a moron
Booboos - He doesn't do anything wrong, he just helped out Mr. Nervous with his splinter
Mall - He doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Messy is just gross
Books - fuck you Mr. Noisy
Camping - MR. FUSSY A BITCH! Why the fuck did you invite Miss Chatterbox if you wanted silence, you fuck? She legit just wanted to tell him that she saw the bird :(
Science - Mr. Fussy a bitch to the frogs smh
Paint - He doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Messy just isn't very considerate :(
Jobs - He doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Tickle a dumbass
Trains - MR. FUSSY A BITCH! Mr. Rude was literally just living his life you stuck up prick
Hobbies - MR. FUSSY a bit of a bitch? Like, he could've told Miss Naughty in advance that her performance was cancelled :( also he was a dick about it
Fair - he doesn't do anything wrong Miss Naughty's just a bitch
Movies - fuck you Mr. Noisy
Dance - he's barely in it and he's nice :)
Amusement Park - he doesn't do anything wrong he's just a dumbass
Rainy Day - he doesn't do anything wrong, even if he insulted Miss Calamity for no reason. He's just a bit of a dumbass
Dillydale Day - his only real crime is that terrible musical number he's in
Games - fuck you Mr. Noisy
Hotel - I love this bit so much holy fuck he doesn't do anything wrong also hes GAY and its AWESOME
Chores - he doesn't do anything wrong he's just like that
Snow - he doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Messy's just not very considerate
Food - MR. FUSSY A BITCH! He's mean to Mr. Messy :(
Wildlife - he doesn't do anything wrong, cause he didn't mean to call Mr. Messy a repulsive animal
Restaurants - MR. FUSSY A BITCH! I don't wanna rewatch this one it makes me sad :(
Bugs - he's barely in it and he loses his fucking moustache what the fuck
Circus - hes kinda mean to everyone but not enough for me to count it
Cars - I DONT EVEN KNOW MAN HE'S NOT REALLY BAD HE'S JUST FUCKING STUPID
Canned Goods - he's barely in it and just kinda. exists
Ships - he barely even does anything in the bit he has
Cooking - he doesn't do anything wrong ig
Collecting - MR. FUSSY A BITCH! He stole Mr. Messy's shoes and then destroyed his stuff cause he thought it was gross :(
Heatwave - he doesn't do anything wrong mr messy is just mr messy
Sleep - he doesn't do anything wrong
Carwash - I cant say for sure, I refuse to watch this segment again
Sightseeing - he doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Messy is just nasty. He's kind of a dick to him though
The Dark - I really don't know on this one. He's kinda mean throughout it but not enough to count but also i kinda wanna count it?? cause hes mean to mr messy a lot??? its weird, he also didnt let mr messy back into his house when he was scared :(
Parade - MR. FUSSY A BITCH! He made fun of both Mr. Rude and Mr. Messy's floats and made up a rule specifically against Mr. Messy which is super fucked up man
SEASON 2
Picnics - He doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Stubborn is just laughably stupid
Driving - MR. FUSSY A BITCH! He didn't want to help Miss Chatterbox and Mr. Tickle, and even tried to ignore Miss Scary and Mr. Quiet rather than help them :(
Outer Space - MR. FUSSY A BITCH! He asks Miss Scary and Miss Naughty "what's wrong with them" when they were just having fun, and doesn't believe them when the real aliens show up :(
Clean Teeth - does this even count as him being an asshole? like yeah he freaks out on Mr. Rude but he's kinda justified in doing it?? this shouldnt count as him being an asshole but I like mr. rude so. yeah, i'm biased. im not counting this one as mr fussy a bitch but im not giving it a yellow. like, he also calls him disgusting and is a dick the entire time but he's in the right so . ???????? he also calls mr messy gross at the end what am i supposed to do here
Airports - hes a bit of a dick but yeah he was gonna miss his flight thats justified
Shoes - he doesn't do anything wrong he's just trying his best
Arts and Crafts - MR. FUSSY A BITCH! He's mean to Mr. Strong and Mr. Messy, and even calls Mr. Messy's art junk :(
Game Shows - he doesn't do anything wrong, he even makes Mr. Happy a quilt :) Mr. Stubborn is just a fucking moron NEVERMIND MR FUSSY STOLE THE FUCKING QUILT BACK???? RUDE
Garages - he's actually really really nice in this bit!! :D he let Mr. Messy keep his bike in his garage and put off mopping his floor to hang out with Mr. Nosey and Mr. Small :)
Eyeglasses - he's barely in it and is fine ig
Toys - MR. FUSSY A BITCH! oh my fucking god he was doing so good and then right at the end he had to go and be a sore loser, call Mr. Messy disgusting, etc. fucker
Hats - he does nothing wrong, he just wants a hat
Robots - he just lost his bread man
Parties - another gay icon segment! hes pretty poggrs
Up and Down - hes barely in it and hes good
Dining Out - hes fine ig? kind of a dick but not especially so
Gifts - is his fucking birthday hell yea
Telephone - once again i refuse to watch it, i'm assuming he's fine
Seashore - he just vibed the entire time
Washing & Drying - he kinda just existed
Sneezes & Hiccups - yeah. he yells at mr messy for something he cant control but. yehjv
Radio - miss helpful you dumbass
Supermarket - he just wanted some cereal man
Cinema - dude a bunch of gay men invaded his car
Getting Around - yeah
Pets - im getting tired of writing notes hes good ig
Dance Dance Dance - MR. FUSSY A BITCH! for one, he's mean to Mr. Rude the entire time, for two, he completely fucking drags Miss Scary's performance the entire time, and for three - he talks through it the entire time! fucker!!!
Library - just wanted his book man
Pirates - yeah
Goo - Miss Naughty you fucking bitch fucjk you fucky ou fuck you! FUCK YOU!!!!
Trains and Planes - he's kind of dickish but otherwise fine
Lunch - MR. FUSSY A BITCH! For one, why the fuck did you invite Mr. Messy if you didn't want "messiness" at your pristine fucking picnic, why the fuck did you invite Miss Chatterbox if you didn't want her talking, etc, but he's also very ignorant of Mr. Quiet's warnings of the bear ):(
Machines - MR. FUSSY A BITCH! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU BUY MR. MESSY A MACHINE THAT CLEANS HIS HOUSE??? AGAINST HIS WISHES??? AND HE FUCKING SPECIFICALLY ASKS TO GET IT OUT BUT YOU DONT FUCKING LISTEN AND PROCEED TO CRITICISE HIM??? IT'S HIS FUCKING SPACE, FOR ONE, AND YOU KNOW CLEANLINESS MAKES HIM UNCOMFORTABLE! YOU FUCK! im so fucking mad
Birds - he doesn't do anything wrong he gets fucking yeeted
Bath and Bubbles - this is the only Mr. Fussy bit where he's actually happy at the end and yknow what? boyboss moment
Sand and Surf - MR. FUSSY A BITCH! I know this is a trend but yes, he's a dick to Mr. Quiet and ignores everything he says.
Parks - MR. FUSSY A BITCH! He spends the entire segment bullying Mr. Messy and I am tired of it
Travel - hes kinda dickish the entire time but mmmmmyeah
Bad Weather - i didnt want to watch this one again cause it sucks, i'm assuming he's fine
If you've read to the bottom, then I'm sure you're actually interested in what I have to say about him/the other mr men and little misses. Because I'm definitely going to be doing more of these, please acknowledge going forward that I am one, singular teenager. A teenager susceptible to my own bias, especially when it comes to some of the "negative" characters. Don't take my percentages and data too seriously, as it's all technically based off of my opinions of each segment. Ok bye bye Mr. Noisy's next
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Comparing RWBY and YGO DM: The Handling and Evolution of Themes
Hey! Its been a hot minute since I last posted anything RWBY-related but Im laying in my bed right now and Im sick and bored so I guess we're doing this. Today I will do my best to analyze what I percieve to be the main themes and messages of both of these shows, or more specifically, how theyre handled narratively. Im mostly focusing on that part because, while these series do have similar themes and messaging, they are still a few things in which they are wildly different. And with that, lets start with this essay-post-thing!
1. Theres something we need to adress first
Okay so, before we can really talk about this, theres something I feel the need to clarify here: Neither of these stories was "planned from the beginning".
Now, I dont think a story being planned from the beginning or not nesscessarily makes the story any better or worse by default, however, it is still important to acknowledge because the way the story is planned is going to affect every facet of it. Things are not going to be foreshadowed properly, things are gonna be set up only for nothing to come of it, the story might drastically change directions, characters might act differently, etc, etc.
And, this is bit off-topic but, it's much better to just admit that the story was not planned than trying to pretend that it was. Like, there are a lot of reasons why I tend to be so forgiving towards YGO even though its not very good, but one of them is definitely the fact that, as far as Im aware atleast, the guy who wrote it isnt pretending to have had this big master plan all along and neither is the fandom. With RWBY on the other hand... yeaaaah, its kinda the opposite. From what Ive seen of RWBYs fandom, there seems to be this pretty popular narrative that everything was planned even though it clearly wasnt. Thats pretty bad and honestly lowers my opinion of the writers so much more than if they would just admit to not having a proper plan.
Like, I initially consumed YGO like this: Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters, Yu-Gi-Oh (aka Season 0), like, a quarter of the Yu-Gi-Oh manga (I still havent finished it)
In all three of these we have the character of Yami Yuugi, or just Yami. Broadly speaking, he is an ancient egyptian gamer spirit who lives in a magical puzzle that has not been solved for 3000 years until this highschooler named Yuugi Mutou comes along and solves it, thus setting him free and allowing him to possess Yuugi and have access to the vague magical powers of the puzzle.
In Duel Monsters he's perfectly fine most of time, morally speaking. There is an instance of him almost murdering a guy and its a bit unclear what exactly happens to those he mindcrushes but overall he's very much a pretty good guy. In Season 0 most of what he does is set up these games for bad people, where they will go insane no matter what they do. From how I understand this whole Shadow Game, Penalty Game stuff, if you lose a Shadow Game, you get violent and intense hallucinations and you will always cuz yknow, gamer spirit. But if you try to cheat, which most of the bad people do in this show, you get violent and intense hallucinations as a punishment.
Since the two anime are generally considered two different continuities, its perfectly fine that Yamis characterization is wildly different in both of them. But in the manga both of these characterizations appear, basically one after the other with no real arc or consequences, for that matter. Why is that? Simply put, someone thought it was a good idea to try to turn an episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror manga into a more traditional, more plot-driven battle shounen. From what Ive heard, it was apparently largely because of network interference or something, but the point is, it changed directions incredibly drastically with little planning and everyone knows this and I can understand that for the most part.
In RWBY we have the character of Blake Belladonna, who, in the first 3 volumes/seasons atleast, was this aloof, more toned down loner-type character with a pretty strong sense of justice. She's an in-universe marginilized racial minority and she clearly cares about racial injustice. The way its initially framed makes it seem like she had a very hard life and no stable support system, which is what eventually pushed her to join a Civil Rights group/Terrorist organization (good god, the Faunus subplot is so awful, I could write a whole essay about it but Im already de-railing rn so I'll just save that for later).
Then, in volumes 4-5 it turns out her father is actually like, the mayor or chief of this island-place called Menagerie and she grew up in this big mansion with multiple guards/servants. Oh and also, apparently "space is a commodity" on there, so theres that. She still retains large parts of her personality but she's kinda like, worse somehow I think. I cant really describe it in a meaningful way but I hope you get what Im saying anyway. Then in Volume 6 she confronted her emotional abuser Adam (sorry for not mentioning him sooner but yeah, he was like, her abusive boyfriend, which is something that a lot of people disagree with but I wont really say anything about it either way because I dont really feel any specific way) with her friend, Yang, and ended up killing him.
After all that, she pretty much lost the rest of her personality, as well as her arc about all the Faunus stuff. She just kinda became the meek, generically nice, recovering abuse victim. Why? Well, the actual reason is that they didnt plan out shit and are just kinda flying by the seat of their oversized clown-pants and if they and the fandom just admitted it, I would have less of an issue. I still wouldnt be as forgiving towards RWBY as I am towards YGO because the crux of the issue, for me, is just that I dont particulary like RWBY but also like. Do you really expect me to take MKEK seriously as writers after admitting to not have a timeline because iT wOuLd CaUsE pLoThOlEs?
However, since they want us to believe that everything was planned out from the beginning, the explaination would be.... Idk, they deliberately butchered one of their main characters?? Because.. they hate her?? Maybe????
So yeah, that was quite a detour however, I would like you to keep this mind going forward.
2. Themes of the Early Series'
First, what do mean by 'Early Series' for both of these shows respectively? Well, for YGO that would have to be Season 0 or if youre reading the manga, everything pre-Duelist Kingdom. Basically, the part of the series thats a episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror series.
For RWBY that would be the first three Volumes, also known as the Poser-Era. Back then it was just kinda an action series that took place at Anime Warrior Academy (also known as Beacon) with some pretty bare minimum worldbuilding, character-driven plots and developments but now its more of an epic high-fantasy story with more of an emphasis on plot as opposed to just action.
The themes and messages in Early YGO are kinda vague, very confusing to me and if you were to follow any of it literally that would be pretty bad. For now Im just gonna say the main themes are Friendship and Identity and mostly focus on the Identity aspect.
Now, it took me a little while to figure out RWBYs deal but I think the main themes for Volumes 1-3 are also Friendship and Heroism. Once again, I'll mostly focus on Heroism and touch on Friendship more briefly later.
I dont have much more to add to YGOs themes right now, so I'll briefly go over Heroism in RWBY.
In RWBYs setting there are these man-eating monsters called Grimm that have basically infected the planet. In order to deal with that, they have people called huntsmen and huntresses that kill them and protect people. Theyre trained at special academies like Beacon and go on missions there and stuff like that. Our four main characters, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang, are training to become huntresses and one day they go on this mission to clean up a grimm infested city block with one of their teachers. Obviously, that takes a long time so they have to camp out in one of the empty houses. Weiss, Blake and Yang cant sleep because theyve been thinking about this question that their teacher asked them when they were fighting grimm: "Why do you want to become a huntress?"
They have a heart to heart and we find out about their motivations; Weiss wants to bring honour back to her family, Blake want to distance herself from the White Fang (that terrorist organization I mentioned earlier) and as an extension from Adam, Yang wants to have a life of adventure. They also talk about why Ruby wants to be a huntress and it turns out that she judt wants to help people. Unlike the others, she has no motivation besides that. We're meant to listen to that and look at her as a sort-of personification of Heroism: kind, but not naive, strong and most of all, selfless. The others on her team are not portayed as bad for not being like Ruby by any means but we are clearly meant to admire her the most out of all of them.
Okay, now comes the part Ive been looking forward to the most:
3. How did these themes evolve in the Modern Series'?
Alright, before we can really delve into the way they evolved in YGO I'll have to give you a brief summary of the character progression. At the start of DM, during the Duelist Kingdom arc, Yami Yuugi is just that; A darker Yuugi. Hes more confident, bolder, his voice is deeper, hes somehow taller, more ruthless, all that good stuff. Notably, he doesnt actually seem more skilled than Yuugi even at the start of this story, but he's still dependent on Yami. Yami on the other hand, has no identity of his own or even hints at one at this point. He's just The Other Yuugi.
Then during the Battle City arc, they find out that Yami was actually a pharao prior to being sealed in the puzzle, he just didnt know because of amnesia, I guess. So now they need to find out his real name and then send him to the afterlife because hes meant to be dead, but not before saving the world from being swallowed by darkness, which is also a thing they have to do now.
Then we finally get to the Memory World arc, where Yami, Yuugi and the rest of the gang astralproject to ancient egypt via puzzle magic. Yami is trying to figure out what the hell is going on and who all these familiar people are, while Yuugi & Co are trying their best to help him. Then some weird shit happens and it turns out that all of that is not just Yamis sealed away memories, but also a giant D&D Shadow Game that will destroy the world if Yami loses. So now theres Pharao!Yami who is still clueless on the metaphorical and literal playing field and Player!Yami, who is kinda controlling himself now? I guess?? Yamis opponent, The Spirit of The Ring, has something similar to that going on where hes both controlling and properly participating in the game. So Player!Yami is now fighting against Player!TSoTR, Pharao!Yami is now fighting against Thief King Bakura (who is like, the human, ancient egyptian version of the Ring Spirit) and Yuugi is now fighting against Yami Bakura (who is like, the human, modern japanese version of the Ring Spirit). Yuugi gets Yamis real name, he and the gang go over to Pharao!Yami and tell him his name, meanwhile Player!Yami is also somehow helping as well and they defeat the Ring Spirit, thus saving the world. Then they travel to modern Egypt, the Ceremonial Duel happens and Yuugi wins, sending Yami to the Afterlife where he can finally rest and that was the series!
I originally wanted to recount the stuff that was going on with the Ring Spirit and his host as well because they parallel eachother, but this summary is already far too long and I think youll get the point without me needing to explain any more.
My point here is, that the story went from being vaguely about Identity, maybe? to being very clearly about Self-Discovery and Learning to Be Independent. I think this is a very good way to evolve the messaging of your story. How does RWBY track on that?
Well, uh... its not great. I will acknowledge that they have tried to introduce new themes and ideas since, even though I wont really be talking about them in this post. But yeah, the whole Heroism thing really regressed.
Like, I didnt explicitly say it when I was explaining grimm earlier, but theyre not going away. The grimm have always been there and people who sign up to become huntsmen and huntresses are effectively signing up for a job that will never truly be done, no matter what they do. Characters like Ruby and even more minor ones like Phyrrah have shown us that that doesnt matter when youre a hero. No life isnt worth saving, no grimm isnt worth killing, no criminal isnt worth arresting. Then, in volume 6 they find out about Salem. Salem is the Big Bad of the show, shes immortal, controls the grimm and is supposed to be very powerful.
What do our heroes do? They give up. Sike! They were just mindcontrolled by monsters or some shit, of course they didnt give up their mission (which is to bring an Important Macguffin to a city called Atlas, sorry I didnt mention it)!
But then they arrive in Atlas (which is llike, a city thats floating over another city called Mantle) and yknow, they do some plot stuff thats not really important right now until the city gets invaded by Salem and this big grimm army she has.
What do our heroes do? Well, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and some side characters are chilling, drinking tea in a mansion and Yang and the B Team were actually trying to do something, but even those efforts seem incredibly minimal.
Oh wait, I also forgot to mention that Ironwood (a fairly minor, vaguely antagonistic character up until now) wanted to lift Atlas even higher to save Atleasian civilians from danger while leaving Mantle vulnerable to Salems invasion.
What would be the most heroic thing to do?
A) Let Ironwood lift Atlas, get as much support as they can down to Mantle and save as many Mantle civilians as they can from the invasion
B) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas but then split up in order to protect both Atlas and Mantle civilians
C) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas and then dont do anything else
Congrats! If you choose C, you think exactly like the writers!
And I just
This is so mindboggling to me, I feel like I shouldnt even have explain how this is bad. And like, it wouldve been so easy to actually make them seem herokc through their actions, to make it seem like they did try but no.
I have never seen a central theme be this botched, how in the world did they do that? Why did they think it was a good idea for Ruby "The Embodiment of Heroism" Rose to sit in a mansion doing nothing, no planning, no organizing just ..... God, how are they this bad? Like, this doesnt even have anything to do with it being planned in any way, this is just straight up incompetence
4. Very briefly touching on friendship
The friendship is awful and its not solely because they all have the same opinions. They barely interact with eachother outside their designated pairs which leads to it all feeling incredibly hollow. Theyre also practically indistingushable from one another now, which is a shame because it wasnt always like that. Like, I dont think the characters were that well-developed in earlier volumes but they were very well-characterized. But now we've gotten to a point where you can literally copy and paste one characters dialogue onto another and literally nothing changes, it really sucks.
5. Some closing words
Damn, this took way longer than I thought it would and now Im pretty exhausted. I have no idea how yall always write these but props to you! I feel like this ended up a bit rambly but overall, Im pretty proud.
Please let me know what you think of the points I brought up! Id also really appreciate some tips on how to get better at these longer posts because I am planning on writing more in the future (not the near future, probably but yknow).
Thats all I have to say for now, thanks for reading!
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everyone talkin about the king jumpin off the building at the end of fallen kingdom and how sad it is but everyone is forgetting the part from take back the night where the master villager guy was crushed by the spike flail. like fellas. the king survived. he survived the entire thing, but that master guy is like actually dead.
you know what? time to do a rundown on this original minecraft plus one parody series (take back the night, find the pieces, and dragonhearted are all original songs)
so first of all, let me point out something about fallen kingdom. people dont seem to notice it in the first listen and sometimes they never figure it out but the majority of it is actually a flashback. notice the king’s beard is longer in the night time scenes and everything’s broken. like, of course the king isn’t dead. how would he be walkin around after all that shit happened in the destruction if he was??? anyway, lets move on to something i spent too much time writing.
those songs introduced so many characters that are all unique but arent explored really at all (mostly because the songs dont tell much of a story. just the bare minimum because thats about as much as you can do with minecraft parodies.)
like the guard with the nose itch,
these fellas
and the archer
like you cant really notice it while youre dancing and stuff but these guys are pretty cool to me. notice in the second image of the guard, his mustache is bigger. this shows that time has passed from the flashback on the left and the flashback on the right. it’s showing how the characters age. might just be me but that sort of thing really shows that these characters have lives. the pigs you can tell someone put effort into their designs and the archer you can kind of tell he’s confused and has seemingly never really had to shoot at anyone before
and then onto the more “subtley characterized” characters
the queen
you can tell all the violence is too much for her. she cries as she watches her husband take the sword and go outside. other characters in reaction to the mobs simply grabbed weapons and fought back whereas the queen was just crying. granted we dont see many citizens fighting back against them at all but you get my point.
the three villagers from the search party
you can tell the white and green ones are more experienced. the brown one seems jumpy, frightened, and confused. the white one silently grieves when the green one tells them that the mother is dead.
...and now onto the more heavily focused characters
the pig king
surprisingly, the pig king isn’t really shown to do much other than sit around. they make it seem like he’s the one in charge of everything though. he’s important but he’s not shown as much. just wanted to get him out of the way cause this was a cool screenshot
the pig commander guy
this guy just screams “cocky bastard”. literally every time he’s onscreen he either has a smirk or is reacting to something else. bonus for his little science man on the right. he doesn’t show up again (to my knowledge) but you can tell exactly what kind of character he is. we’ve all seen the “science man raises one finger as the boss ignores him” scene. anyway, back to the cocky guy.
this scene really i think shows his character the best. mustache man here is cornered and afraid and resorts to crying and giving up. this pig guy mocks him for a second before raising his sword.
the trio from the beginning of find the pieces
the chef is another character you can kind of get. like, he’s your basic “happy neighbor pal” or.. or just you know. “the buddy”. he’s sittin there cooking and he’s real happy about it until the hero bursts into the room and he drops the bowl. he takes a second to see who did it and when he sees the hero he laughs about it. like a “ha ha classic hero”. his expression on the bottom is a fading smile after the hero explains a dream he had. this is important for later so hold onto that.
the farmer.
you can tell he’s just done with life. he’s living basically on autopilot at this point. he looks like he’d wear the “i really wish i weren’t here right now” pin. you can kind of see bored and “done with everyone’s shit” and maybe a bit of vague “nostalgia sadness” yknow? also, this is off-topic but this panel makes for a great meme template. go ahead and use it please thank you.
the scientist
honestly? this guy doesnt have any characterization other than “i am the smart”. like he’s just the guy that gets the scroll off the shelf and tells the hero about the kingdom. but i do really like this character nonetheless. you really know exactly what kind of person he is because you’ve seen this kind of person so many times before.
ok so. remember before when i was talking about the chef and told you to remember something? notice the colors of these three’s robes. these might be the same villagers from the search party. this could explain why the hero went to these three villagers and why the cook lost his smile when he heard the hero’s story and why the scientist had a map and knew about the kingdom. the farmer was the confused jumpy guy before but now it seems like nothing can phase him. this might be because he didnt really get to do anything and he wasn’t involved as much because he was just the backpack guy. ‘s also why he doesnt do much here either. that might be a stretch but idc man let me theorize.
also they show up again later
the scientist is the one designing all the iron golems and planning where they patrol during the big fight scene in dragonhearted. the scene is set up in a way that makes it seem like he is crushed and killed by big robo pig herobrine. this is not the case though.
all three are seen later in the final scene. theyre not dead (thank god)
anyway lets talk about the master
sorry for the weird stretching btw i edited all this in paint from screenshots. anyway uhh so the master. you get a little bit of characterization here from him. a lot of these characters are stereotypes but that’s really expected considering this is a minecraft parody series. theres not a whole lot of talking you can do. this guy is literally the master guy in an action comedy. you can tell what kind of action comedy master you get from this scene alone. he makes the hero stew so he’s obviously a very caring master, and the following scene shows that he has a sense of humor, but hides it just to look cool. the moment he notices someone see him laughing he pretends it never happened. also a small detail here i wanna point out real quick. i love that the villagers can separate their arms here, but i ESPECIALLY love when they put them together. like, they dont always do it but they still do. i just love it. anyway...
because of this and the fact that the hero and the master were pretty much the only two in the song for a while there, it actually stings when the master is killed. the hero’s reaction is DEFINITELY a factor in this too. this guy was like a second father to him and now this is the second father he’s lost. FUCK i love these songs SO MUCH. i wonder what it would be like if the master ever met the king
note: i didnt characterize the hero, the king, or herobrine given that they are the main main three characters. you can probably figure out their personalities on your own. (well, almost all of them. herobrine doesnt really have much of one other than “occasionally turns into a disney villain when he finds out the king took the eye out of the portal”)
anyway uh, another thing this series really does is just visuals. cool lookin scenes all over the place here.
like look at this shit. especially the ones from dragonhearted. i think that picture of the golem was used everywhere for a short time and i dont blame them. its an epic shot and i love it.
...and i didnt even include the two classic scenes that you can visualize in your head at any moment
these two moments are so fucking powerful you don’t understand. like look at these. god. shit, this is just.. hhhh i love this series so much. you know, sometimes i like to think of stupid theories... like imagine if revenge was actually part of this series. it has no effect on the story but it seems to follow the same “rules” (all characters are in hardcore mode is a big one). idk maybe they did happen in the same universe but steve is just a great ancestor to the king or something. anyway, thats all the energy i can spend on one post. it took an hour and a half to write this and grab the screenshots. feel free to add on to this list of things we all love about fallen kingdom and the others.
#minecraft#mineblr#fallen kingdom#captainsparklez#take back the night#find the pieces#dragonhearted#minecraft parody#sorry im adding so many tags i just#hhhhh spent a while writing this and i'd love for people to see this#long post
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i have the text dump, it has lots of lore and will probably break the text limit-
SO BASICALLY
JACIAN AND TAIANA SHIZ
BASICALLY ALL I HAVE COME UP WITH FOR THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND PLOT STUFF AND YES-
so basically they first meet in act 1 of the main plot (tm) which is really just adventure to go stop odd thing thats happening (idk exactly what atm but thats not really important). Jarcian is basically a knight whos working for an unknown(at the time, we'll get to it later) person, and he has been tasked with impeding the progress of the main group. how does he plan to do this? well, despite literally having troops at his disposal (who all adore him and are 100% loyal to him, they love their goofy captain), of course he challenges the main character group to a one on one duel, because he is just a goofy villain who fights fair and lives by his honor. Of course Taiana accepts his challenge, being a knight herself, and they proceed to have a draw. Out of respect, and because he's lowkey thrilled that someone has taken him seriously for once, Jacian concedes and retreats for the time being, but not before he and Taiana declare each other to be rivals (with like 75% of the main group just being so done with both of them and wanting to leave). They have a few more encounters after this, with taiana always insisting that they take up his challenge fairly rather than just like have everyone defeat his forces because she feels he's not a bad guy and actually at this point considers him a friend, and after a while Jacian begins to think that he might be developing feelings for Taiana, which he really doesnt know how to feel about so he consults his second in command, Anton (short for Anthony; this man is just a side character but he is like the best side character ever and im 100% giving him a unique design bc he's just like the most supportive dude ever-). i plan on making a short comic based off the conversation they have but basically Jacian has his suspicions confirmed, and goes full panic attack and sad mode bc oops literal forbidden love this is so sad : pensive : . There are like 2 more encounters between the main group and Jacian's group, both of which Jacian is just like being very obvious on accident but taiana has no idea what a social cue is so she just doesnt pick up on any of it, and then major plot shit happens and we're onto part 2.
in part 2, things get kinda angsty and really can split off in 2 different directions, with one being significantly less angsty than the other. basically, shit goes down, and all 3 of the main kingdoms are all just kinda in conflict now. Taiana ends up becoming the queen of her kingdom (called Serenia) and, despite her appearingly newfound confidence and leadership skills, she is internally in turmoil due to previous plot events (and this only gets worse with future ones) and is beginning to fall into a state of self doubt due to the pressure she puts on herself to protect everyone coupled with the fact that she cant, and failed to protect her own father and brother. After a bit of rebuilding and strategizing, Taiana decides to lead a counterattack against the neighboring kingdom of Grysia who's king, Natalio, has basically backstabbed every other kingdom and had invaded Serenia while the main group was out doing other stuff (his son is also part of the main group, and some real shit happens there but thats another tale for another ramble-). It turns out that Jacian serves him, and is having one hell of a moral struggle right now. His knights honor forbids him from betraying his lord, but he's unsure if he's truely doing the right thing as he's been complacent to so many inhumane atrocities that Natalio has preformed. But in the end he decides that he must stick to his duty to the very end, no matter what (and let me just say, once natalio shows his true colors he does some bad shit, like really damn bad. but again, another disscussion for another day). Eventually, the main group is pretty much on the castle's doorstep, and so Natalio makes the decision to send Jacian to put a stop to them. More specifically, to their leader, who at this point is Taiana. Jacian of course, really doesnt want to (but as he later figures out, Natalio knows of his crush and plans on having the two destroy each other, with the result of one being killed and the other being emotionally destroyed. as I said, natalio is a very bad man), but his duty commands that he must, and so he tells Anton to make sure his troops escape the conflict together, and heads off to his final duel, where he intends to head to his grave and take his secret with him. When he confronts the main group, he is much more solemn than he normally is, and he challenges Taiana to one final duel. and despite every other duel they had resulting in a draw, this one results in a loss from Jacian. As a final wish, Jacian begs Taiana to take his life, as he'd rather die at her hands than at Natalios.
now, since im thinking about the plot in terms of it being a game, there actually is a branch in the plot based on a choice made at this point (mainly bc the angsty one is more interesting character development wise but the not angsty one makes me happy and i want to see these 2 be happy together-). so the two choices are basically to take Jacian's life, or to spare him. ill go over what each choice leads to in order.
choose to take his life: Taiana tries to take Jacian's life, but she just can't bring herself to. She already internally feels as if she's lost or come close to losing many of the peopleshe holds dear, and she could never bring herself to kill someone she considers a friend. Seeing this, Jacian smiles before apologizing to her for everything, and thanking her for the joy she's brought him, before telling her he loves her and taking his own life via stabbing his sword through his chest. His intent is to save her the pain of taking his life by ding it for him, but this ends up pushing her over the edge, as she blames herself and sees it as yet another failure to protect someone she cared about. The main group ends up defeating natalio and liberating Grysia, but Taiana is left with menatl and emotional wounds that would leave her unstable for much of the remaining plot. it doesnt help that she eventually realizes that she loved him too. His former troops, which had deserted the war just as he asked, end up joining the Serenian military, with Anton becoming the captain of the knights. This mainly leads to alot of character development for taiana, and how she learns to cope with and accept the fact that she cant protect everyone, no matter how much she wants to. (there also is another really angsty part later bc main villian has some bs powers but uhh we've had enough sad i thinkand this is getting really long-)
choose to spare him: Taiana refuses to take Jacian's life, to which Jacian retorts that she had to if she wanted to get past. Of course, she once again refuses as she wont harm someone she cares about, especially when she's already lost people she cares about and is really close to just losing it. She then states that if one of them had to die, the he should take he life, much to his dismay. She stands firm on this, and he attempts, but his feelings finally overpower his sense of duty, and he just cant. but at the same time, his honor won't let him betray his lord, and if he goes back he will just be killed. He and taiana argue a bit, with taiana trying to convince him to join her before finally breaking down and just letting out everything she's had pent up inside since the the end of part 1 of the plot (different story for a different day) Jacian lets out some emotional baggage of his own, including confessing his feelings for taiana,which she is completely surprised about. They talk and mildly argue for a bit more, with Jacian eventually surrendering to his feelings, and vowing to right the wrongs made by his complacency before thanking Taiana for helping him to remember why he became a knight in the first place, and abandoning his old sense of honor to take up arms with the main group and find a new sense of honor, fighting for the people as taiana does rather than just for one corrupt man. Natalio really isnt suprised by this, and simply says that he'll send them both to the grave by his own hands, before being defeated by the main group with the help of Jacian's troops because yknow, theyre loyal to Jacaian before theyre loyal to the king. During the 6-year skip between part 2 and 3, Taiana and Jacian end up getting married, and similarly to the other option Anton is appointed captaianof the Serentian Knights, and remains a close friend to Jacian (along with the rest of his troops, theyre his bois). This mainly leads to more development of Jacian and how he interacts with the other charcaters in the main group, as well as him helping taiana to cope with many of her insecurities and issues, and offering support in a way that none of the other characters in the main group can (i meant to not this earlier as well, she may be very close to other characters as well, such as xayvion, but they just dont understand certain aspects of her personality deep down as well as Jacian does. The two are just a pair of overly excessive goofy knights, and though they may be slightly different they understand each other in a way no one else does).
and uhh thats basically it, this was way more than i meant to write and i really need to go to sleep now so uh yeet-
anyways i love these 2, thank you for coming to my ted talk-
#OC shiz#shook rambles#Taiana (OC)#Jacian (OC)#this took an hour and a half please take it#also its probbaly non-comprehensive gibberish im sorry#im just very tired and brain is going brr and aaaaaaa i love these 2#the angst makes me sad but like it makes for good character development#i have become what i swore to destroy noooo#time to make aus for my own oc stuff y e e t
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random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)
well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie.
back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time. i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward;
I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead
It would be nice if time could be turned back.
Years may pass but I'll never die
I repeat hopeful words to myself,
even though I know I still won't be able to reach you.
"It doesn't matter,
just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it.
Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life.
"If summer can show me dreams, then
let's go to before you were taken away"
The days where I hid my embarrassment
are illuminating upon the atmosphere and
burning my mind.
If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then
I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from
and naturally seclude myself from the outside world.
"But that means you can't even see tomorrow?"
I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok
I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days
I'm choosing "solitude" after all
A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again
while clinging on to your colored smile
Underneath the blazing sun
Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!"
and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped
I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.
#long post#hinatalks#we live in a society#fr fr#when i die....if god is real..i´ll end this once and for all. all of it#i am left with nothing but pain and anger.... i cant even feel anymore. i think i forgot how to
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anyway i’m still thinkin about roceit newsies au...this got SO LONG its basically a bullet fic of the whole plot at this point but uh enjoy!!! its has all the sides and remy and emile bc i rly wanted to shove them all in here aldkaldka
this is based on the musical mostly bc i have never watched the original movie all the way thru oops
roman is jack and remus is crutchie (thanks boop). remus does crazy stunts even with his crutch and roman is Constantly Worried TM and overprotective of remus even tho remus can DEF take care of himself
on the other hand remus knows roman hates working as a newsboy and just wants to escape to some small town where he can become a local artist of some sort. remus wants roman to go CHASE his DREAMS even tho he’s afraid roman might leave him behind
roman may be the actor but remus is great at coming up with gruesome yet intriguing headlines that get people to buy papers and would totally be a great author of some sort
ON THAT NOTE roman dreams of santa fe and can picture it perfectly but whenever he tries to explain it, it comes out as senseless rambling and longing. it’s remus who can really put into words what roman feels (bc theyre bros and they just GET each other)
virgil as davey, patton as les, logan as sarah (its the musical but they have an extra sibling okay. let me have older brother logan)
virgil and patton show up and virgil is super untrusting and hates that theyre basically lying to get people to buy papers but patton is just EXCITED to meet New People!!! and looks up to roman (and remus), like, instantly
it helps that roman promises to take them to a real actual theater after they sell all their papers owned by the one the only emile picani !!!
also roman is the one who first calls him “virge” which is like jack saying “davey” instead of david. yes this is necessary information
so they sell their papers (and roman briefly meets an ESPECIALLY handsome guy wink wink) and go see emile who performs some variant of That’s Rich like the star he is. u cant take singer emile away from me
roman also performs bc i said so. he spies someone watching him during his act up above the stage and climbs up there when he’s done
janus. its janus, if that wasnt clear or u dont know the plot of the newsies musical aldkaldlal
so yeah janus as katherine!! he may be pulitzer’s son but that doesn’t mean his father wants him to be a journalist. pulitzer thinks he should prepare to inherit the publishing company or be a banker or smth, not be a journalist
i just think janus’ “society is a LIE” vibe fits with katherine. i mean, just look at Watch What Happens. “give life’s little guys some ink,” “they’ll storm the gates,” “rich greedy sourpusses” .... idk it just SCREAMS janus to me
ALSO, katherine technically lies about her identity for like 3/4 of the musical, so
anyway! roman meets janus and janus is all suave and lowkey flirty at first but then roman starts flirting BACK and jan is like “uh oh how to talk to cute boys????”
so then he gets all “i have more important things to do” *hair flip* and goes back to the article he’s supposed to be writing about emile’s theater (a lot of his notes are about roman’s performance but nobody needs to know that shhh)
roman draws a portrait of jan and leaves it there and janus gently & dramatically picks it up, stares at it, and tucks it into his suit with a soft smile
uh oh prices for papers went up! virgil steps up and helps roman lead a strike. turns out his caution works GREAT with roman’s determination and they keep each other from going towards extreme overthinking (virgil) or extreme stupidity (roman). they are a TEAM and they are BESTIES.
remus: lets SET THE PAPERS ON FIRE
roman, starry eyed: HECK YEAH LETS DO IT
virgil: how about we dont do that and instead form a union
and then the twins are like GOOD IDEA and tell everyone else. virgil may be a cautious and untrusting and afraid of public speaking but he has good ideas dangit
the intro to seize the day yknow? virgil says a Good Idea (which can probably be traced back to him always listening to logan rant about his studies) and roman spreads the message in a Firm Rebellion-y way to the other newsies
and patton is there doing his absolute best. he may be small but he knows that this isn’t right or fair to the newsboys and he’s ready to physically fight someone
enter logan who is lowkey really proud of virgil for stepping outside of his comfort zone to do whats right. logan may be scared out of his mind for his little bros but he’s gonna help them as much as he can between college and trying to work side jobs to help their fam
basically logan knows janus and tells him that he should report on the strike bc logan wants to help his bros AND his friend however he can
cue janus seeing his opportunity and TAKING it. he’s gonna write about this strike even if no one else will!!! take THAT, father
he also maybe possibly wanted to see roman again. but roman never needs to know that okay what he doesnt know cant hurt him
seize the day happens!!!! they strike!!!! they r powerful!!! but then no one else from any other sections of new york strike with them and they lowkey get rekt
remus mocks the delanceys but that was a BAD decision cuz now theyre targeting him and he gets taken to the REFUGE
roman is SAD bc his brother’s been taken away, no one showed up to help them strike, his brother’s been taken away and he just wants to get OUT of there. run away to santa fe, his ideal world, but he can’t even articulate that because his brother is gone
how is that just act one. how have i written so much yet left out so much???
remus is at the refuge and he’s a little more scared, now, that roman really will just leave him behind even though he knows deep down that roman would never.
still. he writes roman a letter and maybe he goes into a little too much detail about his injuries and the refuge but hey, that’s remus. he writes about how maybe they can run away to santa fe together. he signs it “your brother” and i CRY because they are the best bros
roman reads it and ALSO cries. especially because there it is, the description of santa fe he can never come up with by himself. remus rly does know him, huh
total scene change: janus finds the other newsies (and logan) in a restaurant? bar? and is like “!!! ur on the FRONT PAGE on my newspaper” which i just decided is called the snake instead of the sun
virgil didn’t totally trust janus would follow thru at first but now he’s convinced. they did it!!!! theyre on the front page!!!! the world WILL know!!!!
cue tapdancing!!!!!! king of new york is an absolute bop. i need logan tapdancing daintily and then janus LAUNCHING into some complex tap routine bc the newsies think he too will dance daintily
i know they wouldnt,,, actually dance but just let me have this self-indulgence in this entirely self-indulgent au
the Bro Trio + janus go hunt down roman to show him the paper and find him painting stuff at emile’s all sad and upset bc, well, they lost and remus was taken
but virgil is trying to show him that they made progress!!! sure pulitzer won but he won the BATTLE and actually the poor guy’s head is spinning bc theyre gonna win.
“cmon, ro, if i’m is telling you to be optimistic there must be hope”
see virgil calls him RO and its cute bc roman gave him the nickname ‘virge’ and now virgil’s giving him the nickname ‘ro’ theyre just besties okay
roman is unconvinced but then logan, who roman has actually never met before, steps in with Facts and Statistics, and patton adds some adorable words of encouragement, and janus sassily waves their Front Page Story at him, and roman starts realizing they DO have a chance
but then uh oh pulitzer threatens remus and the Bro Trio and roman is forced to speak out against the strike or risk ruining the lives of everyone he loves. and also he finds out that janus is pulitzer’s son and is Betrayed TM
theres some “he’s just trying to build up a false confidence in u so u can plummet to even greater depths” parallels in there somewhere....u can’t trust many people as a newsie and when roman DOES trust someone turns out he’s the son of the guy ur trying to fight
so roman says overnight in pulitzer’s basement, sleeping on an uncomfortable old printing press, and makes his decision
now for the RALLY
remy is spot conlon bc he DESERVES to be the leader of the brooklyn newsies. brooklyn, flushing, richmond, etc all show up to a newsies rally and are like YEAH!!! STRIKE!!!!
virgil is trying to tame the crowd nervously and keeps waiting for roman to show up bc they work best when theyre working together!!!! finally roman’s there and virgil introduces him (the attention isnt solely on him now thank gosh)
but then roman starts talking about how they dont stand a chance and how they shouldnt go on strike and virgil is just. confused and upset and angry
especially when he sees one of pulitzer’s employees slipping roman wads of money
virgil corners roman afterwards and is absolutely RIPPING into him. roman could fix this if he would just tell virgil the truth, tell him he doesn’t care about the money, he just wanted to keep him and patton and logan safe—
but roman knows if he tells virgil, then virgil will turn all his anger towards pulitzer, will be able to convince roman to keep going, and roman won’t. he can’t put virgil, put his family, at risk.
so he lies.
he doesn’t mean any of it. but he says it.
and maybe he kind of understands why janus lied, too.
he says he’s never had anyone to take care of him or remus, not like virgil does with his parents and his older brother. he says virgil will never know what it’s like.
virgil scoffs and glares and beneath all his fury looks crushed. but there’s still fire in his eyes, a spark roman saw that first day that only grew and engulfed any doubts virgil ever had.
roman says he’ll take the money and go, leave new york behind.
virgil says fine. we don’t need you. because you know what? all those words you said were mine. i didn’t have the courage to say them back then but now i do. we don’t need you.
(because i watched that scene in the movie and like YES go OFF davey i mean virgil)
roman flees to his “bedroom” which is really just a fire escape and just longs for remus’ reassurance. he has the letter but it doesn’t seem as encouraging now, not when he’s lost everything else important to him.
then janus shows up and roman’s mad at him but not mad enough to kick him out. and janus watched roman just give up on everything they’ve been fighting for and just wants to know WHY. why did he turn his back on the newsies when they were so close?
and roman, tired and upset and defeated, just says they wouldn’t succeed. even if all the newsies went on strike no one would report on it, anyway, because pultizer has all the printing presses on lockdown, even the one janus published from. and they already lost once! what more could they possibly do?
roman looks out over the railing, chest heaving from his rant, longing for his imaginary santa fe where he doesn’t have to face his failures. janus stands next to him and puts his hand over roman’s.
“i don’t have a simple answer to that question....but here’s a start.”
and janus pulls out a paper with roman’s words (well, and virgil’s, because virgil said it first but roman rephrased it powerfully, and that’s why they worked as a team) typed out, words that make the strike not about newsies but about ALL working children in the city who are being exploited for their youth and naivety.
it’s an entire article, expertly written. if published it would get the word out to the other newsies that they haven’t given up and show other working children and adults alike that this is IMPORTANT and they aren’t going away.
and then roman remembers his drawings of the refuge and remus’ graphic descriptions and shows them to janus and hey!!! they have a plan!!! they just need to print it....
roman’s like yo there’s an old press in ur dad’s basement he’d never suspect anything
and theyre both so excited and theyre gonna DO this, FINALLY, and janus sees hope on roman’s face again, maybe permanently this time, and janus just leans in and kisses him.
its very sweet and cute and theyre in LOVE
they pull back and kinda stand there awkwardly for a few seconds before both of them start grinning
and they both know its fragile, that they’ve hurt each other and trust was cracked, but it wasn’t broken completely, and they can fix this. they believe in each other and that’s enough for now.
and then they go find virgil at his house
roman knocks on the door and virgil opens it and just. glares at roman. and roman starts rambling apologies and explanations and tries to tell virgil about their plan and did he mention he’s sorry
virgil kinda just stares at him as he goes on and on and the only thing that stops him is patton running out and launching himself at roman
then logan appears behind virgil, and virgil kinda just smiles
“glad to have u back. again.”
and then they go sneak into pulitzer’s basement and print the article with jan’s writing and ro’s drawings and remus’ descriptions and the other newsies go spread the papers ALL around the city
the next morning EVERYONE is out on strike!!! u cant get ANYWHERE without seeing ppl, newsies or otherwise, filling the streets with chants of “seize the day”
roman, with the Bro Trio and Janus trailing close behind, waltzs on in to pulitzer’s office and flings the money pulitzer gave him back on the desk and is like whatcha gonna do NOW, joe??
pulitzer angrily tells them he’s a fool for going back on their deal and logan steps in sayin pulitzer is a fool for letting this get so out of hand over a 10 cent price increase. his sales are down 70%!! objectively the price increase was like the worst business decision ever
virgil’s like plus it’s making u look bad that ur business is the reason most of these kids are suffering. people really love kids, mr pulitzer and patton smiles brightly but in like a menacing way
then emile walks in with a ~dazzling smile~ and is like ur son told me about this whole situation, it’d be a shame if i contacted my good friend governor roosevelt who won’t be as kind as these brave newsies since u tried so hard to stop him from being elected :)
((in the show roosevelt is actually there but i want emile to have a moment to SHINE))
so pulitzer’s like FINE and talks to roman alone and roman wears him down, throwing words from janus, virgil, and pulitzer himself right in pulitzer’s face until FINALLY they have a deal. he’ll lower the prices by half AND pulitzer will buy back whatever they don’t sell full price
roman bursts out of the office into the streets where all the newsies are waiting and is like WE WONNN
and since they published all that stuff about the refuge in the paper, the guy who runs it is being arrested and REMUS IS FREE
the twins hug for like a full two minutes
then pulitzer offers roman a job as a political cartoonist and roman’s like. well idk now that this is over i should probably...head out
bc lowkey he’s thinking virgil still doesn’t wanna see roman ever again and he did say he would leave, so
but then virgil’s like come on, ro, you don’t really think we want u to leave, do u? what’s santa fe got that new york aint? tarantulas? sandstorms? stampedes? you can’t go to santa fe what if you DIE—
and logan says new york’s got us!
patton: and we’re family, right?
then janus is like you got a union to lead! and...you got me.
and remus is like bro, anyone can dream, all you do is close ur eyes! but some made up world is all you’ll ever see. (bc he’s the wordsy one, u see. he helps roman have the poetic realization that his santa fe isn’t real, but this IS)
so roman says well if u guys INSIST.....and then he takes jan’s hand and kinda asks w his eyes and then kisses jan in front of all the newsies who proceed to cheer obnoxiously
when they break apart roman leads janus by the hand over to the paper-buying-cart and slaps some couns down on the table and BUYS SOME PAPERS BC THEYRE NEWSIES BABEY
and everyone lived happily ever after🥰
#sanders sides#roceit#creativitwins#newsies#sanders sides fic#sanders sides fanfic#bullet fic#repost bc tumblr glitched hardcore#uhh anyway the original tags i had were smth like#‘i rewatched newsies and i love it also i love jeremy jordan also stan newsies the musical’ aldkaldla#roceit newsies au#donnie writes
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wilfred (2011) - season 1 ep1 “happiness” review
ok so today were reviewing fucking "wilfred"
basically its a story about a depressed guy who tried to kill himself but he failed
because hes a pushover in life and even suicide is mocking him yea jk actually his sis prescribed him placebo so the meds he used in his suicide attempt were useless
yada yada
then he sees his neighbours (on who he tots have the hots for) dog as a man and hes like lol wtf why is there a furry standing in my yard? im not into dogplay dudette, please dont do this to me ah-
unfortunately for him the chick, on the next day asks to take care of her dog meanwhile because idk shit happens in her house? and she has to work? yea something like that so anyway he accepts because hes into her and out of it aswell more out of it than anything tho
our man, ryan is pretty disturbed but it happens anyway he has NO control over his life so why would he have control on a dog fursuit wearing 40 yo man? yea exactly wouldnt make sense
wilfred enters his house and smoke a damn bong thats right, a very efficient way to introduce what kind of character were up against see, jason gann has the perfect face for such character looking all dirty in that suit
with a big ass black painted dog nose you gotta think "that dawgs up to no good" and youd be damn right keep reading to discover why
so basically nm happens in this episode if it isnt the setting of all the shit because well ryan has a lot of issues and its gonna get worse
you cant believe this dog is gonna make things better for ryan not really hes just scamming the loser with cheap tricks and drugs
btw after (trying) to vape or w/e with wilfred, the man falls asleep, wakes up because his sis whos a bitch, remember her
its important to spot whos a bitch in each show ill be reviewing its pretty easy to balance whos the antagonist and who isnt although it often is much more
complexe than that which is why im here making it all very easy and very interesting, aside from lost cases like the magic school bus i cant make that shit any worse nor TOO better like i have limited power my reviews are sike but some shows are just nah back to our whipped cream: ryans depression: he is jobless ok? so his sis is mad that he doesnt make the effort to come work and do what he has to also he used to be a lawyer btw
because his father wanted him to be and then his father died and he lost his job and he hated being a lawyer so w/e but he also seemingly lost all reasons to live and redacted more than one
suicide letter so im not sure what to think about it he was really eager to die yknow his sis couldnt care less tho its like "yo stop ruining my image im trynna get you a job in my hospital fuckface"
yea see that why shes an inconsiderate bitch
so instead of going to work because of wilfred, ryan takes him for a while btw that vermin also tries to get elijah (the actor playing ryan is elijah wood obvs btw so this series already gets 5 points to begin with
i dont make the rules) to throw a tennis ball and dont forget this ball ok? its gonna come back and start a whole drama its the beginning of our adventure a ball
next theyre in a restauration thing eating chips and drinking a beer together dog and his friend then the waitress comes and
happens the tiddies eating, it almost one fucking minute im sure we could all feel the embarassement of having your animal rubbing its balls and penis against your friend whos over for the nights leg in the middle of spring
and youre just trying to get it back but wow the hormones are hitting it hard its like a cleaning robot vibrating on a grandma whos cardiacs chest and you trynna take that little asshole away but for some reason its rubbed in olive oil so not only does it reeks of olive, its also slippery as heck and you can see your grandma spasmming on her soon-to-be deathbed, she has spasms for god sake no the robot no someone stop it from stimulating the old ladys torso ah shit marguerite died after drowning in her drooling
not even died of an heart attack nah, it was such a messy death she suffered so much no one could do anything its like the robot was sentient yknow and well same goes for wilfred hes making it on purpose but uses the excuse : he likes the boobs it nothing personal, ryan
w/e they leave after paying (not for the side tits tho, it was a freebie for dogs)
after that shit happens (i wont spoil you EVERYTHING, im just painting a pic here ok?)
at this point you could wonder "is wilfred being a dick on purpose or its just about said instincts? how much percentage of his behavior is actually dog and how much is ryans mind (the guy is deranged there is no denying that but how much? ))
whats sure is that his owner likes her dog vm and hes maining that chick
good for him? but it also happens that before that, elijah just threw the ball above the gate and into his much less friendly neighbour because he was sick of the dog asking to throw it and so yea, there is a tension between ryan and wilfred
not any kind of tension, exactly the kind of elija x reader fanfic i wanted to read except pov: im a canine furry and i smoke weed on a daily basis and im a jackass
theyre almost breaking up someone does something about it i was seriously getting into it wow oh no fuck look at me tearing one or two here
rip their new born bromance? or... is it all there is to it? well see no
obviously its the problem we were waiting for because when our fella enters back home and idk whatever else happens its night and his sister comes home and she goes all "lol actually i gave you placebo itd be dangerous otherwise you numbfuck" but shes quickly muted once our man notices his
dog friend in his yard... its time for a reunion a heart to heart conversation to proceed so he has to ditch his sis which he casually does bros before hoes
its again about the ball which HE WILL go and fetch by passing over the fence to get in neighbours yard but damn it cant be just that? wouldnt it make a lame crappy story? we need some actions, we got the tits, the beer, no job, delinquency has no limit so fuck it says the dog as he smashes the window and enters
the bikers house because he SMELLS (like he smells the shit streaks you have on your pants) the weed, ryan is like "no fuck bro no shit fuck ah-" then sees the damn weed which they steal ok? hes really a pushover he has not got the right idea of stopping being one because thats what his new friends supposed to be here for yknow
trynna get his loser into a winner, that lil camper gotta level up his game, go get into the business of life barging in kicking the door to enter, no shame nor hesitation were trying to make him STEP UP for HIMSELF but guess what? ill tell you later or itd be a spoil in a spoil surely a bad paradoxal medium w/e business going on blablabla
theyre up to no good thats for sure as sure as how much ryans actually enjoy this the mans into this pee slash poop affair:
spoiler alert: he does it and
im just quoting him here : he never felt more alive nor glad to be so
i guess thats whats life about shitting in peoples affair, stealing weed plants and quitting your job on your first day (you havent showed up tho so w/e you never really worked in that place no one knows you its all good you can get back in that place looking innocent and smiling with your broken ribs "yea nah i never had a job here and ditched yall huh"
thats foxy of him kinda but not really since he had no intention back then to do anything for himself it was all strings pulled by a fucking dog hilarious really im having a kick haha
no
so what next? theyre best friends? man and dog, a wonderful friendship happens he has no more family to support him but HE HAS A DOG
guys he was so into it im feeling sorry for this hobot-to-be schizophrenic man
i wont spoil you but trust me when i say not to trust a furry who eats tits on your first date
in conclusion:
it was a pretty decent first episode ill update my final thoughts on the first season once im done watching it but so far its recommandable
the camera work is pretty cool like its not just thoughtless filming we actually have a nice feel to it, the setting of the series is esthetically pleasing
you get nice colors and it aint boring, its not like a FRIENDS episode yknow? dawg i dislike how boring it looks filming wise for start but damn i aint reviewing FRIENDS rn so next,
the comedy? after all its a comedy genre series not a drama, idk if id review an actual depressive show on here thatd bum the vibe out ok? i know im making all my revs awesome w/e it is that i choose to
rate and comment but still im serving you a plate of my finest sheez not any fizzle in the mizzle ok?
anyway yea the humor aint bad, i havent laughed my ass of but i did find it amusing to watch the jokes may actually kick in in the second episode ill have to update this rev
alright? just hang on to your balls peeps this fam will serve in due time
rating:
7,5/10 scenery/camera work
7/10 comedy
8/10 interest/entertaining points
total: 7,5/10 for a first episode is fine enough to be recommanded, like a "give it a chance" sorta case yknow
isnt the most hilarious show youll watch but its fine especially if youre into homoromantic tension between a furry and elijah wood
jk
tg, out
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I am in the minority but I’d love to know more about the pre-noldor elvish edain culture, history, and just life.
I wanna know more about men in the context of men, I wanna see history through human eyes without the elvish perspective.
I wanna know the full experiences of all humans in middle earth not the ones the elves interacted with. And if you have to have elves, I wanna hear about what humans thought of elves that isnt ‘oh they are so perfect and amazing and beautiful uwu’, because that’s kind of boring and we can all agree first age elves? on the whole? pretty shitty. (I love em but they have one brain cell to share among them and fuck up on the regular).
I wanna see Humans who were born into a dumpster fire that is the world of arda, these are a people who didn’t get Orome leading them to heaven on earth, they got Morgoth. These are a people who lived in Morgoth’s land for centuries who probably experienced horror and oppression from basically their species infancy. Unlike the elves of valinor, or even the Sindarin protected by Melian, horror and despair would have not been their abnormal, it would be their everyday. But they aren’t broken, they survive. They make families, connections, lives in this wasteland. They adapt and change, because I think in some ways that is the race of men’s true advantage over elves. That we don’t have a gap on our ‘greatness’ persay, humanity’s ambitions get’s mutated into greed a lot (I mean numenor is a dumspter fire for a reason) but I think that human ambition is a strength because it means we don’t accept our circumstances. The Edian sure didn’t.
The edain, the Boerians, the people of haleth, and the hadorians, all marched themselves out of morgoth’s land hoping for something better, with NO GUARANTEE they find anything better. But they still did it. And while we are here, let’s talk about how the race of men has not guarantee of anything, like elves (and dwarves) kind of know where they end up. They go to Mandos and get reborn, they go to aule, respectively. Men...don’t have that. Men really didn’t get anything (but Morgoth and suffering). They leave this world forever, thats what they know. Thats what they are told.
But no one knows what the means. (Personally, I think its like a good place situation kind of. Eru is just michael and turin is janet)
But anyway back to the POINT, (if there ever was one) the edain end up finding beleriand but beleriand isn’t the paradise they wanted. But hey, its not morgoth so let’s celebrate said the beorians before promptly getting found by finrod. And look elves did a lot of good for humans, but I also think there is this really bad dynamic of elves holding all the power and men just being in it for the ride.
Ive made the joke that the elves of the first age are kind of like the edian’s sugar daddies but it’s kind of true. They give them land and like ‘wisdom’ (whatever the fuck that means) and in return men give them their ever increasing numbers. The Silm is a very elven story we don’t really get a lot of human, but when we do I think it’s pretty interesting. Because the relationship between Elves and Men is really uneven in the first age...and all ages even though in later ages forces of men like numenor at their height could I think easily sweep the floor with the elves of the second age combined. I think culturally Elves give a lot more, like men end up picking up their language, though im one hundred percent sure human languages didn’t die out and never do, humans must have shit talked elves a LOT in taliska (oh yes, that is the name of at least the language spoken by the hadorians and beorians, the people of haleth spoke a different dialect) and I think a lot of humans give more in resources (aka men, power, infantry). I mean personally if I was having at a guess I don’t think (as the latecomers) men got very many places to actually farm and have good land and relied on elvish goods to survive. I think this unevenness kind of spurred this idea that ‘elvishness = superior’, so to make this full circle I think a lot of pre edain culture was lost to make place for diet pepsi version of elf culture that we see human cultures like numenor and gondor have, because that’s better than their orn because elves are SPECIal BETTER AND DON’T DIE LIKE US BROKEN AND FALLEN PEOPLE.
((screams))
Okay let’s talk about the death thing. Human and Mortal and Men all mean the same thing, humans die is not a statement that should be up for debate. But the humans of edain, at least from what we see of Andreth is that this was not how it always was. Humans were once immortal like the elves until they were bad and listened to morgoth and then they became mortal and all sick and ew.
yeahhhh, I don’t think thats true. I think in-universe its a great myth. I love finrod ah andreth for this reason (also andreth is tolkien’s best female character he ever created and the fact that she’s not in the published silm is why we are in the bad timeline) , but I think humans...always were mortal.
And thats okay.
We talked about human ambition above, I think that is fueled by the fact that we all die. We have a timer, so we have to do things now, and that’s not a bad mindset to have. I think it gets humjans into trouble but also, imagine your a human in beleriand, you have children, a family, they might have children someday you want to do what you need to do to make sure THEY have a chance.
(also lets talk about the fucked up fact that humans are punished for lsitening to morgoth in the first place like im sorry that humans didnt have any other valar looking for them, there was no orome, no fucking chance that they could have met anyone else because no valar came for them only morgoth with his lies so yes humans are bad for listening to the only god like entity that seemed like he wanted to help them, the elves did that too but they had nice gods so they are wise while humans who have illness and sickness and death over their heads listen to a guy with power okay jirt i see your double fuckig stnarad and its STUPID)
And you can’t wait for that chance, so you leap. I think this is best illustrated by Turin of all people. Turin gets called elvish a lot in looks but in actions, he, like most of his family, are allllllllll human. The bridge in nargothrand even though it’s stupid and ends up horribly kind of reminds me of this. Turin doesn’t have time to wait like Gwindor, and Orodreth, etc do. his people have already been fucking disomated, he’s lost his father, his mother is trapped in enemy territory. He wants to help.
Sure it blows up in his face, but yknow...the want to do good is there.
I think on the whole humans get a bad rep...like they’re called stupid and dumb and ugly by both fandom and in universe elves alike. But I don’t think that’s the case. Humans have a lot more balls and have collectively been through more trauma as a species than I think all of the elves (especially valinorian) elves combined. I think when humans fuck up, whether it be turin or numenor, it’s proof of their incompetence, that their inante (eru-given ability) to have ambition to seek beyond the world they live in for something better for something more is evil and they should be more like the elves, stagnant, already at the height of ‘perfection’, never changing....instead of being humans. Like look at these fools trying to act like than can be GOOD at something, sit down and let these elves be best at everything obviously. How many of you would look at me funny if I said, maybe the race of men was BETTER THAN THE ELVES AT SOMETHING? A lot of you im sure, and someone would have a rebuttle for how I was wrong and how this elf was considered the best.
(like that post going around how could turin actually be #that pretty to thot his way through all of beleriand? Maybe he just Was like that, sure he may have a little elvish ness but honestly I think that be a funny thing elves say to cover up the fact some elves found a icky human was actually just that fucking hot, because obviously humans could never be that actually hot ever, not to intangle a sindarin mast of a guard, a NOLDORIAN VANYAR-DESSCENT PRINCESS, ect)
Also just to go back to numenor, ever want an example of why it doesnt work for men to act like elves...look at numenor, early numenor was as elvish as humans could produce....but then they got bored. And then numneor became an empire and everyone eventually had so much of a bad time, eru reshaped the fucking world just to wipe the valar’s ‘humans but better’ ocs off the face of the planet. Like just to stray off topic I personally think men can’t go to valinor 1) because the two trees are actually nuclear, and the whole damn island is chernobyl instant death right there and thats why the valinor elves are like #that (they GLOW for gods shake) 2) the monotonous never changing perfection of valinor while amazing in the short term for humans would eventually drive them crazy. Not to say that the race of men doesn’t like some peace and quite or even humans (like myself) can be obverse to change, even I can admit doing the same thing ever day would drive me crazy.
This got super rambly, but its been a lot of thoughts Ive been having for a long ass time. Basically, I just want people to talk to me about the atani, edian, race of men, whatever you want to call them. They deserve a lot better and a lot more respect than just playing a supporting role to the elves.
They didn’t kill all those dragons to be ignored like this.
#silmarillion#race of men#what ye do in the dark#tea with milk#not undercut because I want you people to READ this#please validate meeee#silm#edain#atani#i have a lot of feeling about humans in an elf world....
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