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kpop-zone · 3 years

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A Good Place To Start | Irene

Hogwarts AU | childhood friends | “You had no idea, did you?”

Wordcount: 5,331

“Joohyun! Hi, my name is Soeun. You can come wait with us.”

“We also have a spot left in our group.”

“I like your hair clip!”

You watched with amusement how the other first years competed for Joohyun’s attention as you were waiting for the sorting ceremony in the Great Hall to begin. You couldn’t blame them for it. She was a beautiful girl and something about her was simply addicting. No matter where she went, Joohyun never had any trouble finding new people to talk to. The only problem, however, was that she never wanted to talk to anyone. Except for you.

Therefore, you watched with even greater amusement how Joohyun dodged all the advances of the other kids with a polite smile on her lips while making her way over to you. You chuckled when you saw the discomfort on your best friends face and quickly grabbed her hand as soon as she was standing next to you. The jaws of the other students dropped in an instant as their eyes wandered to your intertwined fingers and you immediately knew what they were thinking.

What was this mesmerizing girl doing with this tiny, unremarkable kid in the front?

---

Now, 5 years later, not much had changed. Maybe the reactions of the others weren’t as drastic anymore because everyone already knew that Joohyun and you always came in a double pack. Nevertheless, till this day no one really understood why. Joohyun was the most sought-after girl in school. Not only because she was beautiful, but also because a certain mysterious aura surrounded her that made everyone interested in her. You, on the other hand, were a wallflower. You weren’t particularly unpopular, but you were content with your small group of friends and didn’t long for popularity. For that reason, most people thought that you weren’t the right company for Joohyun. They thought that she should spend time with people with the same potential as her.

Therefore, you earned yourself some jealous and disapproving looks as Joohyun sat down beside you in the Great Hall for breakfast. But like always, your best friend didn’t seem to notice or chose to ignore them.

“Good morning, Y/N. Did you sleep alright?”

Joohyun greeted you with a soft smile that you reciprocated.

“Morning. Meh, I couldn’t fall asleep for a while. You wouldn’t believe what happened in the common room.”

You mumbled while chewing on your porridge. Curiously, Joohyun neglected her own breakfast to give her undivided attention to you.

“Felix asked me out for the Yule ball.”

The moment your statement left your mouth, Joohyun’s eyes widened in shock to the extent that you almost spit out your porridge in laughter.

“W-what?! Did you say yes?”

Your best friend asked, sounding almost panicked to your surprise.

“Whoa calm down. I know my looks aren’t quite stunning, but don’t act as if the fact that someone actually asked me out is that impossible.”

You pouted lightly, causing Joohyun to shake her head vigorously.

“No, no, no. That’s not what I meant. You are stunning, Y/N. I-I...it’s just that I- um...I-I didn’t know that Felix was into you.”

Joohyun’s behavior was extraordinarily weird, but you chose not to address it.

“Well, I didn’t know either. But apparently he is.”

You shrugged nonchalantly, seeing from the corner of your eye that Joohyun was nervously biting her lip.

“So...are you a couple now?”

She asked so quiet that you almost didn’t hear her, nevertheless, the question almost caused you to choke on your breakfast.

“What!? No, of course not! Felix is nice, but...I don’t know, I don’t like him that way. I won’t even go to the ball with him.”

You explained quickly and it seemed like you had just told Joohyun that she won the lottery. Her face lit up in an instant and she sighed in relief. When she noticed that you were looking at her in confusion, however, she contained herself again and put a straight face on.

“Um...I think that’s a wise decision. There is something shady about Felix...”

She mumbled, making you wonder whether Joohyun had sniffed the wrong kind of potion before breakfast or got hexed by someone. Felix and shady? He was a literal ray of sunshine and no one had ever said something negative about him. Right when you wanted to ask her what she meant by that though, Joohyun suddenly leaped to her feet.

“Oh no, I forgot my Herbology book. I have to go, see you later Y/N!”

With that, Joohyun sprinted away, leaving you behind with confusion written all over your face.

What was her deal today?

Intently, you thought about whether she had told you about something that could cause her weird behavior, but before you could come up with an answer, someone patted your shoulder.

“What’s up?”

Jiwon asked as she sat down with the rest of your friends, including Felix who glanced at you sheepishly.

“Um...nothing, it’s just way too early for my taste.”

You lied with a smile and the others seemed to buy it. Excitedly, they started to chat about random things as they gulped down their breakfast in less than five minutes before all of you rushed to your first class of the day. During the entirety of the breakfast and on your way to the classroom, however, you didn’t engage in the conversation as you were deep in thought, thinking about Joohyun until a light tug on your sleeve brought you back to the real world. Confused you turned around and saw Felix smiling at you sheepishly.

“Are you sure you’re alright? You’ve been awfully quiet.”

He looked concerned, causing you to feel guilty for turning him down the day before.

“Yeah yeah, don’t worry.”

You smiled, feeling lucky that you had friends that you could count on. Wherefore you were even more perplexed when the friend that usually cared most about you gave you the cold shoulder when you sat down beside her after entering the classroom. Confused, you cleared your throat, thinking that she perhaps didn’t notice you yet.

“Did you find your Herbology book?”

The question was rather dumb, because you could clearly see the book in front of Joohyun on the table, but you thought it would be a good conversation starter. Instead of a real answer, however, Joohyun only hummed in response and decided to ignore you for the rest of the class. No matter how hard you tried to get her attention, she always turned her back to you or dodged all of your advances to get her to talk with a one-syllable answer, leaving you completely frustrated. Never in your entire life, Joohyun had behaved like this and you didn’t know how to handle this situation now. Helplessly, you watched how your best friend packed up all her stuff after the professor dismissed the class before walking to the door without sparing you another glance. Wanting to try one last time to get her to talk, you sprinted behind her and interlinked your arms like you often did.

“Are we getting lunch together later?”

You smiled at Joohyun, but your gesture wasn’t reciprocated. Her expression was stern, and she instantly wiggled her arm out of your grasp.

“No, I’m eating with others.”

In complete shock, you stopped dead in your tracks and watched how Joohyun walked away unbothered. Your question was supposed to be rhetorical; the two of you always had lunch together ever since you could remember. Always. Even when you had been nauseous after eating a carrion flavored bean of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Bean or when Joohyun could only eat puree after getting her wisdom teeth removed. Lunch was the time of the day that you came together, no matter what was going on in your lives. And you couldn’t believe that Joohyun would just break your ritual like that. Therefore, you watched in utter disbelief how she disappeared out of sight with your feet glued to the ground and your mouth wide open, completely forgetting about your own class that you had to attend.

“Come on, Y/N! What are you doing? We only have 15 minutes to get to the third floor and you know that’s nearly impossible with those darn stairs.”

Jiwon gladly ripped you out of your trance and grabbed your arm to drag you to your next class. Although you didn’t even know why you bothered to attend the rest of your morning classes. Mentally, you weren’t present in the classrooms anyways and couldn’t listen to a single word of your professors; not even after Professor McGonagall yelled at you for accidentally transforming your pen into a snake instead of a caterpillar. The whole time your mind showed you a replay of the Herbology class, especially of the part in which Joohyun wordlessly left you behind. That was just so untypical for her.

“Maybe she was just messing with me?”

You mumbled under your breath after you had survived all your morning classes and were making your way to the Great Hall to have lunch.

But unfortunately, everything wasn’t just a joke, because when you entered the Great Hall, Joohyun was indeed sitting at another table, surrounded by some of the other “cool kids”. You glared at her in disbelief as anger started to bubble inside of you and slowly drowned out the sorrow that you had felt the whole morning. Did she think that you would run after her? Definitely not! Instead, you headed for your usual table where your other friends had already gathered and plopped down sulkily, much to the confusion of the others.

“Why is Joohyun not sitting with us?”

Hyerin asked hesitantly, sensing your bad mood and following your death glare with her eyes.

“You would have to ask her that.”

You gritted through your teeth, having had enough of Joohyun’s weird behavior. You hadn’t done anything wrong, why was she punishing you with ignorance today?

“Did you fight?”

Felix probed carefully and you huffed annoyed.

“No! I don’t know why she is behaving like that. I’ve done nothing wrong!”

You whined while sulkily shoving your plate away from you.

“Don’t rack your brains about it. I mean...Joohyun and you are really different. She never really seemed like she enjoyed our company...”

Hyerin got quieter with every word that she uttered as you directed your death glare at her now. How dare her saying that Joohyun didn’t enjoy your company? But apparently, she wasn’t the only one who thought so.

“She could have gotten bored of us... Wasn’t it just a matter of time till she gave in to them? You know that everyone always tried to get between the two of you. Maybe they finally managed to do that.”

Panicked, your gaze snapped up following Jiwon’s comment and you looked at Joohyun who was mopishly picking at her food at the other side of the hall. For a split second, your eyes met when she looked up from her plate and you wondered whether it was sadness that you spotted in them. Weren’t the others too quick to judge her? You knew her better than everyone else and she would never replace you with someone else. Therefore, you shook your head vehemently, instantly banning the doubts from your brain.

“No. Joohyun and I are inseparable.”

You retorted while crossing your arms defensively. No one and nothing could ever get between the two of you; not after everything that you had been through together.

---

“Y/N, I have to talk about something important with you.”

When your dad came into your room with a stern expression on his face, you immediately stopped drawing and looked at him with wide eyes. Had you done something wrong? Had your homeroom teacher called to complain about you? It was your very first week of elementary school and you really didn’t want to be in any kind of trouble.

“Don’t worry, you’ve done nothing wrong.”

Your father reassured you immediately when he noticed your panicked expression and gestured you to come to him.

Relieved, you ran to him and climbed into his lap, curious to hear what he had to tell you.

“Do you still remember what I’ve told you about that evil magician that is trying to seize power?”

Your father started and you furrowed your brow, trying to recall what your father had told you the day that he had the first serious conversation with you.

“I think so... You said that he is dangerous and that he is attacking innocent people which is why I have to be more careful.”

You muttered deep in thought and your father nodded in agreement.

“That is right. Well unfortunately another attack has happened which is why... we’re going to have an addition to our family.”

He explained hesitantly, much to your confusion, because you didn’t really know what that meant. You tilted your head to the side pensively, trying to make sense of his statement until your eyes suddenly lit up.

“Are we buying a dog to protect us?? Or a dragon?”

Excitedly, you squealed and clapped your hands, thinking that you had cracked the code. But your dad shook his head and chuckled sadly.

“No, unfortunately that’s not it. Honey?”

He turned his head and called your mother who stepped into the room a few moments later, leading a girl by the hand. You didn’t know who she was, but she seemed to be around your age.

“Baby, this is Joohyun. She’s the daughter of Mr. and Ms. Bae, you might remember their names. Mr. Bae is...was working with me in the ministry. From now on, Joohyun will be living with us.”

You didn’t understand why this little girl would be living with you from now on; a girl her age should be living with her family. But the sad expression in your parent’s faces told you that it was better not to ask any questions right now. Therefore, you simply nodded before jumping off your dad’s lap and walking up to Joohyun. You didn’t know why, but you had the feeling that this girl could really use a friend right now. Therefore, you smiled softly and put out your hand.

“Hi, I’m Y/N. Do you want to be friends?”

---

Joohyun couldn’t understand a single word that the others at the table were saying. She felt that your gaze was glued to her and if she was honest, she couldn’t care less about anyone else right now. She never liked any of those arrogant “cool kids” around her anyways. She would love nothing more than to walk over to you and sit close by your side as if the two of you were attached at the hip. But she couldn’t do that. You had caught her off guard this morning and she needed time to recollect herself. Time to sort out her feelings that were dangerously close to exploding for the first time in her life. After pining after you for as long as she could remember and finally having the courage to ask you out, Felix decided to shoot his shot? Joohyun had just not been able to hide her frustration when she saw you walking into the classroom beside him while flashing him one of your beautiful smiles. Why would you smile at him like that if you weren’t interested like you had told her? She couldn’t even blame you if you were interested in him. Felix was good-looking, a good student and an even better friend. He owned all the traits that Joohyun would never be able to obtain. Charm, kindness, a warm aura...

Why would you ever choose someone like her if you could have him?

Frustrated, Joohyun stabbed the piece of chicken on her plate with her fork before quickly stealing a glance at you. You were still looking at her and your eyes met for a split-second. You were visibly upset, causing Joohyun to avert her gaze in shame. This situation was a mess that she needed to clean it up as fast as possible. Although she didn’t know how. It seemed like she had hidden her feelings for far too long to be able to suppress them anymore.

---

“Hi, I’m Y/N. Do you want to be friends?”

Skeptically, Joohyun looked at the extended hand in front of her. She didn’t understand anything that was going on. Why was no one telling her where her parents were? Why would she be living with this family from now on? Everything was just so confusing. But despite all her unanswered questions, she couldn’t shake the feeling that her live would never be the same from now on. And if she hated one thing, it was change. So maybe it would be quite practical to have a friend that would help her getting through this. Therefore, Joohyun slowly lifted her gaze and looked into your eyes before grabbing your hand. Nervously, she looked back and forth between you and your parents, feeling all the expectant gazes on her. It seemed like something was blocking her ability to talk and she wordlessly stared at you. But apparently, you didn’t seem to mind. Her gesture was enough to conjure a wide smile to your face and you squeezed her hand lightly.

“Great, so we’re friends now! Do you want to see what I’ve been drawing?”

Gladly, you didn’t expect her to answer, but dragged her to the table where all your drawing utensils were scattered instead. Like you had known her all your life already, you started babbling about your day at school and other random things, causing Joohyun to subconsciously scoot closer to you. For some reason, you managed to make her feel a lot less nervous. There was something about you that caused a warm feeling to spread inside of her that eased the violent storm that was raging in her head. Joohyun didn’t know why you could influence her so easily, but she knew that she didn’t want you to ever leave her side again.

---

It had taken Joohyun quite some time to figure out why you were able to make her feel the way that you did, but after you had started attending Hogwarts together, everything was starting to make sense. At one point, she had realized that as a friend, she wasn’t supposed to die of jealousy whenever someone was trying to get close to you. She also realized that it wasn’t normal to wonder how it felt to kiss your lips. It was a realization that hit Joohyun like a truck, but her crippling fear of losing you forced her to lock away her feelings in a small, distant place in her heart. Until she could no longer hide them. It was in her fifth year when someone had asked you out for the very first time and Joohyun felt the green monster inside of her taking over. She couldn’t watch you being with someone else. So for one whole year, she gathered all her courage to finally be able to confess to you. And after hours of research on how to declare one’s love and countless practices in front of the mirror, Joohyun was ready.

But then Felix happened.

Joohyun could still feel how her heart dropped when you told her that Felix had asked you out for the Yule ball. How was she supposed to confess to you now? You had quashed his advances, why would you choose her? And then she saw you smiling at him with that glint in your eyes. Had she really been foolish enough to think that you could resist his charms? She knew better and so did Felix. After Joohyun had given you the silent treatment for a day, you were basically glued to your other friends the days that followed. Especially Felix was more than willing to cheer you up. There was not a single moment that you were alone and Joohyun definitely didn’t have the courage to talk with you with all of your friends around. It seemed like you were playing Hide and Seek and you were winning.

Day after day passed and the only memorable interaction that the two of you shared was when you accidentally bumped into each other as you ran to your class. It was pure torture for Joohyun. You had never been apart for that long and she began feeling like a piece of driftwood in the ocean. She wasn’t a person who liked to open up to others; she didn’t need a big group of friends around her. You had always been enough for her. But now that you weren’t by her side anymore, she was all alone. Of course, there were other people that would be more than willing to fill your place, but little did they know that they would never be able to. You knew things about her that no one else knew and you always knew how to make her happy even in times when she had thought that she could never be happy again.

She needed you.

But the question was: did you need her? Because judging by the way you were strutting through the hallways with Felix, you didn’t.

---

“I just don’t know why she doesn’t talk to me.”

You sobbed as you collapsed on your bed at the end of a very exhausting school week. The week hadn’t been exhausting because of your soul crushing amount of homework or the nearing finals though, no, it had been unbearable because your best friend seemed to have grown tired of you.

“Why don’t you just talk with her? Maybe she feels the same as you.”

Jiwon sat down beside you on the bed and patted your back encouragingly. But you were inconsolable.

“Does she look like she misses me? She seems to be perfectly fine with her new friends.”

You spat out, feeling how your own words were cutting deep into your heart.

“Well then you shouldn’t be sulking here! Come on, it’s the weekend! Let’s go downstairs and spend some time with the others.”

Jiwon tugged at your arm, but you clung to your pillow, wanting to cry for the rest of the night.

“Nope, we’re not doing that. Get up!”

This time your efforts to stay in bed were in vain, because Jiwon gave you a hefty push, causing you to fall off the bed with a loud thud. Perplexed, you sat on the floor and rubbed your butt while staring at your roommate.

“Oh good, you’re up. Now come downstairs with me.”

Jiwon grinned and you scoffed in disbelief but decided not to disobey your friend another time for your own sake. Therefore, you got up from the floor and reluctantly walked downstairs to the common room where nearly your whole house was gathered to enjoy the weekend. Some were playing magical chess, others were trying new transformation spells on their pets and others were simply relaxing on the comfy armchairs. Usually, you loved this room and you loved the people in it. But today you just couldn’t get yourself to smile. Everything seemed to be so dull. Nevertheless, you didn’t allow yourself to ruin the weekend of the others. Therefore, you tried to look a little less sad as you sat down beside your friends in front of the fireplace.

“Y/N! What an honor.”

Hyerin joked and you stuck out your tongue.

“Hush Hyerin, we have more important things to settle, remember? We were just deciding whether I should go with Kyungmin to the Yule ball or not...”

Sunghee interrupted your teasing session and started a heated discussion among your friends. You tried your hardest to stay focused and participate, but after she had mentioned the Yule ball, you automatically thought back to the morning that Joohyun’s weird behavior had started. Was that the trigger for her alienation? But why? You didn’t get to finish your thought because someone suddenly nudged their elbow into your ribs causing you to flinch.

“Talking about the Yule ball... I think someone is coming over for you right now.”

For a split second, you were hoping that Jiwon was talking about Joohyun, but then you saw Felix making his way over to where you were sitting, causing your heart to drop. Your instincts were instantly telling you to run away, but there was no time, Felix was already standing in front of you with a shy smile playing on his lips.

“Hey Y/N.”

He greeted you sheepishly and you mumbled some incomprehensible words in response that were barely audible over the excited whispers of your friends beside you.

In an attempt to escape this situation, you sunk deeper and deeper into the armchair, but Jiwon was having none of your allures and pulled you off your seat. Nervously, you were standing directly in front of Felix now who seemed to be feeling the same way as you, only for other reasons.

“Listen, I know that you’ve turned me down before but I’m not one to give up so easily.”

He started while shyly fidgeting with his fingers. You wanted to interrupt him right there, but before you could, he already continued.

“I don’t know if I read the signs wrong this week, but I think we’ve been getting along pretty well, haven’t we? So I wanted to ask you one last time and I promise after that I will let you live in peace. Will you go to the Yule ball with me?”

You could suddenly feel the eyes of everyone in the common room on you and your cheeks were beginning to glow bright red as Felix smiled at you sheepishly. You couldn’t say no to him now, right? He was a good guy and didn’t deserve to be embarrassed in front of the complete house. Even if you couldn’t shake the feeling that it was wrong, you just had to say yes, right? Therefore, you reciprocated his smile and cleared your throat to give in to his wish. But you didn’t get to give him an answer as you could suddenly feel yourself getting spun around before an electrifying sensation started to spread from your lips into your whole body. What was happening?

---

Joohyun didn’t know what had gotten into her. She had made her way to your common room to apologize to you for her weird behavior in the past week. It was time for her to stop acting all jealous, because she had no right to. But then she heard Felix asking you out again and her good resolutions were lost in a heartbeat. Her jealousy came rushing back stronger than ever before, blocking the last bit of reasonability left in her body. Her brain seemed to be on standby, leaving nothing but her instincts to guide her. And they were telling her to walk up to you and claim you. So she did.

Her lips crashed into yours, causing all air to be knocked out of her lungs. Although the kiss lasted less than three seconds and you were unable to react in any way, Joohyun’s body still felt on fire when she pulled away. For so long, she had wondered whether your lips would be as soft as they were looking and now finally, she knew the answer. Yes, they were. In complete astonishment, Joohyun stared at you, but unfortunately, there was no time to dwell on the kiss as the whole room suddenly erupted in agitated whisper. Heat rose to Joohyun’s cheeks and she looked around in embarrassment. Everyone was staring at the two of you, including a very confused looking Felix. Therefore, Joohyun cleared her throat and looked at him calmly.

“I’m sorry, but Y/N will not be able to go to the ball with you.”

She declared and Felix nodded understandingly in response, still looking like he had just seen a ghost.

Consequently, Joohyun couldn’t suppress the victorious smirk that was tugging on her lips, feeling like she had managed to bring her point across pretty well. When she realized that you were looking just as puzzled as Felix, however, she quickly pulled herself together again. She had a lot of explaining to do now. Therefore, she took your hand in hers and quickly pulled you up to your bedroom where she sat you down on your bed. Silently, she stood in front of you for a while, not knowing how to begin until you piped up eventually.

“Care to explain what that was all about?”

You asked, sounding slightly irritated, causing Joohyun to gulp. You knew that she wasn’t good with words, why did you need her to spell it out of you? Shouldn’t you know what was going on by now?

“Isn’t it quite self-explanatory?”

Joohyun chuckled nervously, but you still seemed to be lost.

“No it is not! I have absolutely no clue what grudge you hold against Felix. I just know that the Yule ball is inching nearer and nearer and that I don’t have a date yet. Not everyone has the whole school whipped for them, you know? And Felix would have been an acceptable option. I don’t know why you hate him.”

You rambled, causing Joohyun to sigh. How could you be so oblivious?

“It’s not about him!”

She responded frustrated and you threw your arms up in desperation.

“Then what is it about?”

You leaped to your feet and stepped closer to Joohyun, causing her heartrate to pick up. She just had to get it off her chest now.

“You! It’s about you, Y/N. I love you; more than anyone else on this planet and more than a friend should.”

Joohyun’s voice cracked as her whole body started to tremble in nervousness. You, on the other hand, looked at her in a state of paralysis with your mouth agape, causing her to chuckle.

“You had no idea, did you?”

You shook your head almost in slow-motion as you kept wordlessly staring at her in shock.

“Since when?”

You eventually choked out, causing Joohyun to sigh.

“Honestly? Probably since the first time we met, but it took me a while to figure out my feelings.”

She smiled, remembering all the beautiful memories that you had made together.

“And you’ve never told me?”

You sounded almost hurt, causing Joohyun to avoid your gaze in shame.

“I’m sorry, but I was afraid that you’d hate me if you’d know.”

She mumbled as tears welled in her eyes, but then she could suddenly feel a hand gently cupping her cheek.

“I could never hate you, Joohyun.”

You whispered causing her to look at you again. The same soft smile that had managed to calm her down the first day that you had met, was making her heart feel at peace again and she leaned her head against your hand.

“But you really shouldn’t have kept secrets from me for that long. That’s quite upsetting.”

A pout formed on your lips and Joohyun could immediately feel panic starting to spread in her body. Her biggest fear in life had always been to accidentally upset you. She wanted to apologize to you but you pressed your finger on her lips to shush her.

“I think to make up for it, you should ask me out for the Yule ball.”

You uttered and this time, it was Joohyun’s jaw that dropped. Did you just say what she thought you did?

“You want me to take you to the Yule ball?”

She assured herself and you nodded with a wide grin on your face.

“Yeah, I mean we have a lot to figure out, but it would be a good place to start, wouldn’t it?”

Relief washed over Joohyun and she wasn’t able to contain her happiness any longer, causing her to fling her arms around your neck. Tightly, she squeezed your body, feeling how your chest vibrated as you chuckled in amusement.

“Yes, it would be a good place to start.”

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