#god i hate my aunt so much but i still can't be mean to her without feeling like i am the horrible person

[jennay]

Come Back Home

Jolly x reader

An: Random idea I had that I got stuck on and required way too much help from @a-villain-vying-for-attention then decided to make her a character since she basically came up with the ideas and I wrote it. Lol thanks for being my shadow writer for times when my brain decides it's done thinking.

Words 2200

Jolly Master List

This is chunked into four sections bear with me. I hate transitional writing 😂

"Please don't tell them. They'll just worry, and next thing you know, they'll be at my door, and it's just not the right timing for me to come back. I need to finish my work here, and it's not completely horrible. I think I just miss everyone, and I feel isolated." You admit over Facetime to your best friend, Kayla. "It just wasn't supposed to be like this. “Moving away from you guys was literally one of the worst decisions I've made."

Kayla sighs, "I don't mean to say I told you so, but I did." She laughs, "But the worst part is, Noah told you, Jolly told you, and you still just said bye bitches. Do you know how sad it is not to have you here? I have to deal with them all the time, by MYSELF."

You peel yourself off the couch, dragging your feet through the dining room and to the back door.

You brace yourself for the inevitable assault of the sun, but it still hurts like hell when you open the door and get blasted by its rays. "Fuck." You groan. "It's bright." You squint your eyes and cover them with your hand as you stumble to the camping chair you set up on your porch for such occasions. You hated the daylight. You wished you could be a nocturnal creature, but sadly, you had to pretend to be a responsible adult, even if you sucked at it.

"Wow, look at you, Dracula." She mocks you from the other side of the video call. "You look like you're about to die over there, paler than a ghost and skinnier than a twig. Do I need to come over and feed you some blood? I know it's only been six months, but I will literally come over and mother you to death. I'll bring Noah too, and we'll play house. God knows we need some practice." She flashes a big smile. "You know, for the future and all that jazz."

You laugh, shaking your head, "This is new for you!"

"Yeah, well, now I'm just working on convincing Noah that it's a good idea." She tucks her hair behind her ears. "So I need you to come back because I'm not raising these imaginary kids without their badass aunt."

You roll your eyes at her, "These kids don't even exist yet, so I think we have some time, and besides, I don't know if I'll feel any better moving back. If I have to watch HIM date other people and it not be me…well, I'd rather stay here and suffer in silence."

"Well, he's miserable without you, and why are we not using his name?" She laughs again. "Mopping and shit, constantly.”

You shrug, "I think he's probably fine. I basically threw myself at him and got no reaction. I literally slept in his bed the night before I left." You pause, growing frustrated. "Maybe we're just supposed to be friends; maybe he only sees me as a friend. That's OK. I can't be mad about that, but it always felt like there was something more, you know?"

Kayla groans loudly, "You both suck. If you would've just let me meddle, I could've set you two up."

"I don't want you to set me up! I wanted something natural." You say with all seriousness. "I wanted him to say it."

From behind Kayla, Noah pokes his head into the view, "He's dumb...guys are dumb." He gives you a face that says, duh.

"Well, now I'm here, and I can just say fuck it. I'll find someone here."

Noah's laughter rings through the speaker, "And then break up because all you're gonna do is fucking compare the two and be a whiny baby about how he's not Jolly, so you had to break up? Fuck off, y/n." He chuckles again. "Just come home."

You shake your head, "No. You will have to come to drag my dead body home before I willingly come back."

Noah grabs the phone from Kayla's hand, and you meet with wide eyes. And in a serious tone, Noah says, "Dead or not, at least you'll be home where you belong."

Kayla, Noah, and Jolly were lounging on the couch, munching on some greasy take-out that Noah had ordered from the nearest pizza place. While Jolly was engrossed in the latest episode of Bob's Burgers, Kayla was shooting daggers at him with her eyes.

She couldn't stand the sight of him, acting like nothing was wrong, like he wasn't the reason her best friend wasn't living with them anymore.

Noah noticed his girlfriend's glare and chuckled softly, nudging her elbow with his. "Chill," he whispered in her ear.

"NO!" Kayla shouted, startling both Noah and Jolly. She slammed her food on the coffee table and turned to face Jolly with a furious expression. "I'm sick and tired of pretending like everything is fine. I want my friend back, and if this is what it takes to make you use your brain, then so be it!" She pointed an accusing finger at Jolly, who looked confused and scared. "You need to go get y/n back right now or get on the next flight to Sweden because I can't stand having you around. You make me so mad, both of you, pretending you don't care about each other. She's depressed as shit living there with her fuckin awful family, but she'd rather stay there than come home because of you!" She roughly gets off the couch and storms out of the room, heading for the stairs. "You're such an idiot," she yelled over her shoulder at Jolly.

Noah raised his eyebrows and bit his lip to stop laughing as he saw Jolly's dumbfounded face. Jolly put down his food and looked at Noah with a puzzled expression. "What did I do?" he asked innocently.

Noah shrugs and says, "I think it's more of what you didn't do…"

Kayla comes back down the stairs, holding her food in her hands. She glared at Jolly one more time and flipped him off, then walked out of the room. "Buy the damn ticket!" she screamed from the hallway.

Noah heard the door slam and shook his head. "Well," he said, standing up and grabbing his food. "There's your answer. Bring y/n home."

"How am I supposed to do that?" He loudly asks.

"I don't know but you need to figure it out, Kayla might actually kill you in your sleep."

You grab your coat and head for the door, feeling a sense of excitement and anticipation for the day ahead. You were going hiking with your sister and her husband, and you couldn't wait to explore the great outdoors with them. As you glance at the clock, you groan in annoyance, realizing you're running late again. You can't help but wonder why you're always so disorganized and frazzled.

You pull the door open, taking a deep breath of fresh air as you step outside. Suddenly, you're nearly choking on air as you see a familiar face staring back at you. Jolly stands there with a backpack over his shoulder, his long hair draped over his shoulders, and a black backward hat covering the top of his head. He's dressed in black skin jeans and a deep red plaided flannel, looking effortlessly stylish and cool.

Your shock disappears as quickly as it came, replaced by annoyance at the sight of Jolly. You can't help but feel irritated that he's here, disrupting your plans for the day. You'd be lying if you said you didn't feel a little bitter still.

"Hi." He quietly says, looking from you to the ground, feeling awkward. He hadn't planned what he was going to tell you.

"Can I come in?" he quietly asks.

You nod your head, stepping aside. "I was leaving, but I guess this kind of changes my plans," you say, rolling your eyes. "What are you even doing here?" You say as you follow him to the living room. "I've tried so hard not to think about you; I moved states, Jolly, and now you're at my house. Are you trying to make my life hard?" You don't sit down knowing you're too heated to stay in one place.

Jolly doesn't sit on the couch either. Instead, he sits on the armrest, staring at you with confusion and annoyance; he folds his hands in his lap and allows you to continue. Why was everyone so irritated with him? He didn't know what he did in the first place. "What did I do?" He questions.

You're eyes dart back to him. "You treated me like I was special, OK? I thought I was special to you…then, you go and date other people." You say, running out of breath. "Then I dated other people because I thought you didn't want me and I was right, you didn't care at all, but then I dumped them because all I could think about was you!" You dramatically cover your face with your hands, pacing back and forth. You enter your kitchen and stare out the sliding glass door. Your back facing Jolly as he observes you. "I stayed in your bed the night before I left, and you still let me go."

"I thought you were leaving for a job! I didn't want to be the reason you didn't go!" He whines. "You told me you were leaving for a job."

You still don't turn around to look at him, knowing he was right, "I just thought you'd ask me to stay if you really wanted me."

He stands straight, walking toward you; you feel his hands on your shoulders, spinning you around to face him. His dark eyes scan your face, wishing he wasn't the reason you were upset.

He leans in close, his breath warm on your face. "You were always special to me," he whispers, his voice low and sincere. "I never meant to hurt you. I was just confused and scared. I didn't know how to handle my feelings for you. I was afraid of losing you, so I pushed you away. I never stopped thinking about you. I came here to tell you that. To tell you that I'm sorry. To tell you I need you."

Jolly pulls back slightly, his eyes searching yours for a sign of forgiveness. He gently cups your face in his hands, his thumbs stroking your cheeks. He smiles softly, his eyes shining with hope. "Can you give me another chance?" he asks, his voice pleading.

You feel a surge of emotion, a mix of anger, pain, and love. You want to scream at him, to push him away. But you also want to hug him, to kiss him, to hold him close. You're torn between your head and your heart. You look into his eyes, and you see the sincerity and the regret.

You see the man you fell in love with, the man who made you laugh, the man who made you feel alive. You feel your resolve weakening, your walls crumbling. You lean in and press your lips to his, answering his question with a kiss.

"So I'm bringing you home." He smiles against your lips. Pulling back, his brown eyes search yours, "This long distance thing isn't how I want to start this." he gently kisses your forehead.

You nod knowingly, "I guess we should start packing."

Jolly smiles, running his hand through your hair, "I'm pretty sure Kayla has a timer set."

You giggle. "She is absolutely crazy." You lean up, kissing Jolly again. "But it's why we love her."

He nods in agreement, "Plus she's Noah's problem."

With a cautious glance, you gently push the front door open, hoping no one will notice your arrival and ambush you as soon as you enter the house.

You sneak into the living room on your tiptoes, holding Jolly's hand.

Noah and Kayla are so engrossed in the TV show that they don't even look at you.

You pretend to be nonchalant and sit down on the recliner next to them, giving them a hard stare.

Her eyes widen as she realizes who you are, and she jumps off the couch and runs toward you. You're home! This is fucking amazing!" She screams in your ear. "I was expecting you guys to take more time, to be honest…you both suck at directions. I don't know how you managed to drive all the way back here." She laughs as she releases you from her hug and embraces Jolly instead, "Look at you. I can finally be in the same room as you without being pissed off. I'm so proud of you." She jokes with him. "Wow," She scans the room and sees the three of you together. "So, is it official now? Can we all just admit how stupid the two of you were? I mean, come on, you could have just moved down the street instead of moving two states away." She snuggles up to Noah on the couch. "I'm not going through this again. You guys have to sort things out by yourselves from now on." She says and acts like she's dismissing you.

Jolly chuckles, sitting in the recliner; he grabs you and makes you sit on his lap, catching you off guard.

You shake your head light laughter falling from your lips, "Well, I missed you too, dick."

You lean into Jolly's chest and wrap your arms around him, feeling his warmth and heartbeat. You sigh in contentment and happiness, glad to be home with the people who loved you the most.

#jolly karlsson x y/n #jolly karlsson x you #jolly karlsson one shot #jolly karlsson fanfiction #jolly karlsson fic #jolly karlsson x reader #jolly Karlsson fluff #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fic

[muffinrecord]

I think that this is the last point of Scene Zero which seems... a little anti-climatic.

Spoilers below (from what I gathered from discord)

It sounds like (and this is just from what I pieced from other people not the actual event so this could just be heresay) it "ends" with Mabayu going back into the cycle, starting at the very begining

Which is def a bold ending?

I think everyone, including me, thought she was gonna witch out. Or become her aunt. Or die in some other way. But she's basically stuck in this time loop instead. Which is... a choice.

It makes me wonder a lot of things. Like, Homura "goes back in time" but it really just means she's going to different alternate universes, right? Homura keeps all her memories and stuff. What about in this loop?

When Mabayu meets up with Homura again, will Homura remember her? Or did Mabayu really REALLY go back in time and this is a never-ending loop?

I think I prefer the latter scenario, just because it's so much damn sadder lmao. Like yeah she didn't die but she's still kind of dead, ain't she? She'll never grow older, she'll never move past this point... The whole world moved on without her but as far as Mabayu is concerned, it stops and lives in this very specific period and she cannot move on or know it's happening.

I don't hate it and actually, if it's done the right way, I might kind of like it. Although that might just be because that's how I killed a god in my story, who is stuck in a time loop and can't move on SO anyways

I'll be curious to see what's actually true and how it actually plays out. I think even the worst concept of an ending can be very good as long as it's written correctly, so we'll have to see!

#Magia Record #Scene Zero #Spoilers #Mabayu Aki

[aloneinthehellfire]

Chapter 1: Flickering Lights

Raining Hellfire Series | Season One

Word Count: 6525 words.

Warnings: Swearing, flashbacks to past trauma, bad relationship with biological parents, Will's disappearance (let me know if I missed anything!), + fairly decent writing if you pretend it is

[A/N: I can't blame you if you find this hard to read, my terrible writing + a high word count would make anyone suffer. But, if you do read all of this chapter, I hope you like it :) Also much more Eddie content to come it's hard putting Eddie into the story when he wasn't introduced until Season 4]

Flickering Lights

What did you do?

Oh my god Y/n

WHAT DID YOU DO???

You wake up with a pounding heart, sweat soaking the bed. It had been a while since you had that dream.

The alarm clock on your bedside table read 8pm, meaning your well-thought out ‘power nap’ has lasted 8 hours. All the sleepless nights you spent studying seemed to have caught up with you.

“Fireball him!”

Your head spins to your window, noticing that you had left it open before sleeping. Bed creaking, you walk over, grabbing at the handle while hearing the busy chatter of young boys.

Living next to the Wheelers’ house meant that you had your very own commentary of the events that unfolded in the basement. Mike and his friends usually played D&D down there, something you never knew existed until you moved to Hawkins and got to know the family next door.

Mike’s friends were as annoying as they were loud, happily interrupting your day as you came home to drone on about their campaigns. Personally, you didn’t truly mind. While you’d rather walk into your uncle’s house in peace, it was sweet that they saw you as someone they could talk to. All because you and Nancy had grown close over the past 2 years.

You thought being the new Freshman in Hawkins’ High School would at least give you a fighting chance. Until you learnt that everyone already knew eachother since they had grown up there, and you felt just as lonely as you looked. Nancy being assigned as your tour guide was blessing sent from the big man himself, she not only showed you around but began inviting you to lunch with her friend Barb. Admittedly, it was probably out of pity at first but after you got to know eachother, there was an instant connection.

You count yourself lucky to live next door to a family that welcomes you as if you were one of their own.

Slamming the window shut, you quickly adjust your look in the mirror. Even though you had been here two years, your room was still pretty bare. You hadn’t taken much with you in the first place, leaving most of your things in California since you left so quickly. There wasn’t much reason for you to decorate. Your plans to leave as soon as you graduate were set in stone. No matter how long you stay here, it isn’t ever going to feel like home.

You make your way into the living room, noticing the beer bottles that had been abandoned on the kitchen counter as you walked past.

You live here with your uncle, an arrangement your parents had made since the event. It’s not that you hated your uncle, but you certainly didn’t like him. You understood how inconvenient it all must have been, especially since your aunt had died three months prior to your arrival. But rather than just talk, he liked to drink. A lot. So did your mother in all fairness, so it must run in the family.

The living room was filled with pictures of your aunt. Mostly from when she was younger but your uncle loved taking photos when she was alive, taking any opportunity to snap a picture when he thought she looked beautiful. It was something that was quite bittersweet now. Even the chair that sits untouched in the corner as if it is waiting for its owner to return. Bittersweet.

A note was stuck to the dining table.

‘Out with a few people from work. Try not to get into trouble.’

You sigh. It wasn’t an uncommon note for him to write. The notes he left were always short and snappy and always left out any possibility for you feeding yourself.

Grabbing the note and ripping it in half, you venture into the kitchen, swiftly grabbing the bottles to take with you as you exited through the back door toward the metal trash-cans. The air was much colder than you realised as it attacked your bare legs. Clearly this wasn’t the weather for comfy shorts.

The sudden sensation caused you to drop a bottle, smashing as soon as it hit the concrete.

“Fuck.” You whispered, knowing that there was no way you would be able to pick up every piece.

“Need some help there?”

You brought your gaze to the young boy who was now staring at you with a goofy grin, clearly amused at your impromptu balancing act.

“Oh hey, Dustin.” You said casually, as if your arm wasn’t cramping from the awkward position.

Without a word he takes a few bottles from your hand to help you straighten up, you both discarding the bottles before turning back to eachother.

“Thanks.” You chuckle, staring down at him. There was a pretty big height difference between you two, but that was expected for a 16 and 12 year old.

“Anytime, Y/n. You know you’re my favourite Wheeler.” His smile was too precious.

“You realise I’m not actually- wait. What about Nancy?”

Yes, there was Mike but him and Nancy always had a special bond.

He begins walking back around to the Wheeler house, curiosity leading you with him. He brought you to join his friends, silently pointing at Nancy’s window. Looking up, you could see her stood by it and facing her room with a phone in her hand.

“Ah yes, she uses a phone. She must be the devil.” You mock, earning a small giggle from Will.

Dustin ignores your comment, turning to Mike instead.

“There’s something wrong with your sister.”

“What are you talking about?” Mike questions, helping Will with his bike before walking over to join you.

“She’s got a stick up her butt.”

“Yeah. It's because she's been dating that douchebag, Steve Harrington.” Lucas chimes in, shaking his head in disgust.

You look back up to her window, seeing her twirl her hair. You knew she was talking to Barb but it was undeniable that she was talking about Steve.

“So she’s dating ‘The Hair’... I don’t think that qualifies her as a jerk.”

“Yes it does!” Lucas replied quickly.

“Yeah, she's turning into a real jerk.” Dustin said solemnly, Mike adding that she had always been a jerk.

“Nuh-uh, she used to be cool.” He said defensively, grabbing his bike. “Like when she and Y/n dressed up as elves for our Elder Tree campaign!”

“Hey! Don’t go spreading that around. And if anyone asks, Nancy did that long before I did.” You really didn’t need him blabbering about something you did two years ago.

“She didn’t even accept the pizza slice, Y/n. Who would do something like that?” Dustin stared at you. It was pretty clear that Nancy’s recent behaviour has left him disheartened.

“Only a true monster.” You said shaking your head and grabbing your heart dramatically before faking a faint. The eruption of giggles meant you had succeeded in cheering them up.

Dustin gave you his signature toothless smile and you ruffled his curly hair before they all said goodbye and rode off. Will and Mike still behind but talking to one another so you thought it best to just go back inside.

After kick-brushing the shards of glass towards the bin (you’d deal with it tomorrow morning), you stepped onto the small porch of your back door and swung the door open. You heard Will’s goodbye and the sound of pedals before the porch light began flickering.

Great, you thought, I guess I have to fix that too.

“So did he call?”

“Keep your voice down.”

You were stood by your locker with Nancy and Barb. You had no idea how you got to that conversation but clearly they preferred the topic of boys much more than you did.

“I told you, it's not like that. Okay, I mean, yes, he likes me, but not like that. We just made out a couple times.” Nancy says with a lovesick look in her eyes.

You groaned, placing your head on your locker. Your so-called ‘nap’ meant you hadn’t slept more than 2 hours last night and you were starting to feel the consequences hammering in your head. Barb, however, took your groan as a different meaning.

“‘We just made out a couple times’,” Barb mimics Nancy’s voice before returning to a serious tone, “Nance, seriously, you're gonna be so cool now, it's ridiculous. Even Y/n agrees with me.”

“No, I'm not. And Y/n just doesn’t like Steve.” She replies, sending a satire glare your way. It’s not false; you did like to fantasise about Steve’s reaction to waking up bald one day. But seeing how much your friend liked him meant you had to be nice.

“It’s not him necessarily. It’s those friends of his.” You say, shuddering as if the thought was disgusting. Truth is, you and Steve used to be good friends in Freshman year until he started hanging out with Ken and Barbie.

“You better still hang out with me and Y/n, that's all I'm saying. If you become friends with Tommy H. or Carol -” Barb says.

“Oh, that's gross! Okay, I'm telling you, it was a one-time... Two-time thing.” Nancy defends herself, opening her locker to find a note. You read it immediately and groaned again.

“As much as I love talking about someone who thinks there’s no such thing as too much hairspray… I need to get to class.” You slam your locker shut, saying quick goodbyes as you walked off.

Class didn’t start for another 5 minutes but truthfully, the conversation was boring you. Sure, you’ve talked about boys before. Plenty of times. But it never felt the same as when you were 13.

“Oh my god Y/n, did he, like, kiss you?” Your best friend asked, her voice squeaking slightly at the word.

“Ew, no. Well, not yet anyway.” You said, leaning back nonchalantly. In actual fact, you were screaming inside.

“Well when you do, I want to be the first to know. Your first kiss is a big deal and I’m lonely so let me live through you.” She giggles, bumping your shoulder.

“Who else would I even tell?”

You hadn’t thought about that night in a long time. You stop and take a breath. To think that the year only went downhill from there.

Shrugging off the thought, you quicken your pace, turning the corner at such a fast pace that anyone coming the other way would surely collide with you.

Which is exactly what happened.

“OW!” A loud, slightly higher pitched voice rung out as your forehead most certainly hit theirs. The force was powerful enough to send you backwards, sending your books to the floor and scattering the pages that you had hoped would stay tucked into them.

“I’m so so so sorry.” You said hurriedly, wincing as you grabbed your head. That was gonna bruise.

“Well yeah I should hope-”

The voice stopped for a second and you removed the hand from you head to get a better view. And immediately, you blushed.

Before you was a boy, which normally wouldn’t phase you but this boy looked… cool. His clothes, first of all, were incredibly cool. All black with a long sleeve shirt that read ‘WELCOME TO HELL’ in bold red letters, hidden beneath a black jacket. And then his hair was just… wow. It was messy, but the good kind. It fell to his shoulders but was layered so it made it fluffier. Lastly, his left hand held three chunky rings, designs that you couldn’t very well due to the aching in your forehead. That very hand was now held out to you as he looked upon you with concern written on his face. He was just, well, beautiful.

All that staring at him caused you to become temporarily deaf.

“Helloooo?” He sang, waving his hand to get your attention. He most certainly already had it.

“Sorry?” You said, blushing even harder. What was happening.

“I asked if you were alright.” He smiled. God, you loved that smile.

“I, uh, yeah. Well, um, yes.” You rambled, attempting to pick up your books before you embarrassed yourself any further. You needed to get it together.

“As long as you’re sure.” He laughed, handing you a book.

Both of you slowly stood with you attempting to shuffle your books into a more comfortable manner. Why did you leave your bag in your locker? Ugh. When you looked back up at him, you opened your mouth but found you had nothing to say. Why was your brain just malfunctioning?

“Look-” You began, ready to apologise again and again. You didn’t want to make an enemy.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” He cut you off, crossing his arms.

“What?”

“I get it. Avoid the freak or you’ll be thrown from your little group.”

“I… what?” Confusion was setting in.

He leaned in, looking around the hallway before speaking.

“I get that you and the other clearly superior beings don’t like people like me or, well, just me. And seeing as I’ve never seen you around before, I will spare you the traumatising experience of having to admit that you and I bumped heads.” His voice had changed along with his demeanour. You were seriously missing that smile now.

“I’m not with them.” You were shaking your head now, and his eyes fell to your journal.

“Ah. Y/n. I’ve heard quite a few rumours about you.”

“What?” There were rumours?

“Hm. Yeah, you’re the one that’s trying to fit in with all the other pricks in here because you didn’t make it at your last school. So please, don’t use me as your way to prove your shallow heart to your glorious leaders.” He took a step back, clearly waiting for you to throw an insult his way.

Your heart sunk. You knew he had to have a good reason to hate them, the same way you did too. But you definitely weren’t expecting him to speak to you like that. You were wrong about him, the same way he is completely wrong about you. He was just like every other boy.

“Fuck you.” You said, barging past him, trying not to notice the way his eyes widened. You think you heard him say something but you just needed to find a bathroom fast. Tears were threatening to spill. It’s not what he said, but the mention of your last school tore at something inside you. Pain. Anger. Regret.

You burst into the first bathroom you found, closing and leaning on the door while trying to will the tears away. You needed to get your emotions under control. You let out a sigh before you heard giggling erupt from the other corner of the room. Pulling your focus towards them, your breath hitched. You’d notice that hair anywhere.

“Y/n, hey.” Nancy’s voice rang out. It was nice of her to pull her lips away from Hawkins’ very own playboy for two seconds just to talk to you. You tried not to notice the way her face was flushed.

“Hi.” Steve said, sliding his arm around Nancy’s shoulder.

You stared at them before realising the situation.

“Gross.” You plainly said, turning around and swinging the door back open. Nancy noticed your teary eyes and stepped away from Steve to look at you with worry.

“Wait, are you okay?” She asked.

“Never been better.” You muttered. Not wanting to stick around longer you quickly exited and made your way to class.

As much as you liked Nancy, it was none of her business.

Photography was something that you discovered a passion for in Hawkins. While living in California would have provided you with so many amazing photo possibilities, Hawkins just felt different. It was quieter. You found so much beauty in that. So when the opportunity of taking a photography class was presented to you, you took it.

Most days your teacher would let his class experiment with the school supplied cameras, something you loved since you didn’t have the money to buy your own. You desperately needed a job but nowhere would take you, mostly because you were only 16.

You sat next to Jonathan, watching him shift around with the focus on his camera. You liked Jonathan, he wasn’t like the others at Hawkins. In fact, it seemed he was the only male here who didn’t make you want to rip your hair out. He was most definitely shy, usually stuck in his own world. For the first year you knew him, he had barely uttered two sentences to you. But now he was a lot more comfortable with you. He was a friend.

“Taken any new photos lately?” You asked, resting your chin on your hand.

“A few. Nothing worth adding to my project though.” He said quietly before a satisfied hum sounded; he had set the camera to his liking.

Your teacher had given us a project that he, to your dislike, had named ‘Happiness’. You were instructed to take photos of what makes you happy, hoping you would dig deeper and create more meaningful pieces. The minimum amount of photos was twenty. You didn’t even have one.

“You wanna borrow my camera tonight?” He turned his eyes to your direction, raising his brow.

“Uh… no, no. It’s fine. I don’t really know what I’d want to shoot yet anyway.” Shaking your head and flipping through the textbook in front of you.

“You know you need to start sometime. Even if it’s just something small. Like a favourite place of yours, or even a person.” He says, bumping your shoulders with a knowing look.

He knew you were struggling with this. It wasn’t that you couldn’t take great photos, because you were amazing at it, but happy things just weren’t your expertise.

“I’ll think about it. So… you up to anything tonight?” You look at him, begging to change the subject.

He just shrugged, making notes in his book before putting his pencil down and turning his body to face yours.

“Have you seen Will lately?”

The question caught you by surprise. Was something wrong with Will?

“Yeah, I saw him last night when he was at the Wheelers.”

“Did you see him leave?”

“I remember he rode off with Dustin and Lucas but that’s about it.” You began to feel your stomach twist. Something was clearly wrong.

“Okay, thanks.” He said, rubbing his face.

“Is everything okay?”

He looked at you, eyebrows scrunching together before he shook his head and continued fiddling around with his camera.

“He just-” He said after a while, setting his camera back down, “He just didn’t come home last night. And I was working when I shouldn’t have been but my mum needs the extra cash right now and I know I should have been there to make sure but-”

“Hey, hey,” You placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him down, “He might have just stayed the night as Dustin’s or something and forgot to call.”

You knew it was an empty gesture, you had a bad feeling that you just couldn’t shake. You hoped that by convincing Jonathan he was fine, you’d convince yourself.

Will was a quiet kid, much like his brother, but you’ve seen the way he talks about his friends. When you first met he usually let the other kids take the lead in talking to you but as soon as you asked what D&D was about, you saw his face light up. Usually you would be bored half to death, but seeing how happy it made him, you became invested. You began to feel protective of him, of all of them. You don’t know what you’d do without them.

“I hope so.” He said in a small voice before the bell rang out. He grabbed his stuff, saying how he needed to get home. Understandable. You just wished that Will would be home when he got there.

Every day, after the last bell has rung, you would make your way to the benches that sat just behind the school, further up the field. It was usually an empty area where you could sit and listen to music without being disturbed. Somewhere you could think while not thinking at all. You were meant to meet Nancy for a study date later but it still gave you two hours to yourself.

Grabbing your Walkman, a tape already set in its slot, you placed the headphones over your ears and pressed play, laying on your back so that your legs hung off the edge of the picnic bench.

I hear the ticking of the clock

I’m lying here, the room’s pitch dark

I wonder where you are tonight

“Hello?”

No answer on the telephone

“Yoo-hoo?”

And the night goes by so very-

“What the hell?” The headphones were suddenly yanked away from you, causing you to squint against the sun at the figure that stood over you. You sat up straight and prepared to take back your headphones.

“Sorry, I did say hello but you’re music was too loud- wait, what even is this?”

“None of your business.” You say, snatching the headphones from their hands. The rings glinted in the sunlight, catching your eye. You recognised those rings. Oh shit.

“Keeping it to yourself. That’s cool, very mysterious.” He said with a chuckle.

It was him, the guy you had bumped into earlier. Even now, after a long day at school, he looked incredible- No. He may look like a god but he still insulted you.

“What do you want?” You ask defensively, a glint of anger in your voice as you remembered past events. Making sure to stop the tape, you clutched your Walkman before stuffing it back in your bag. So much for having some time to yourself.

“Hey!” He said, waving his arms to stop what you were doing, “I just wanted to talk. About earlier.”

He crossed his arms against his torso, looking at the ground. He looked shy all of a sudden. He then took your silence as an opportunity to speak.

“I didn’t mean to be dick to you. Or insult you. I just…” He paused, walking around the space as he thought of what to say, “I get pretty guarded when I speak to someone. You spend so long as ‘The Freak’ that you get used to being treated like ass and I wasn’t in the mood for it today.”

“I-” You began, setting your bag down.

“No, I was an idiot and I insulted you. Which wasn’t cool of me at all, I don’t even know you and I was just as much of a judgemental asshole as the rest of them so I’m so very, very, sorry.”

You weren’t expecting this at all. In all honesty, you would have probably forgotten about the meeting in a few hours time. Words were stuck in your throat and you just blurted out the first thing in your mind.

“I like your rings.”

He looks at you in surprise and you feel the colour rushing to your cheeks. Why the hell did I say that?

“Sorry, I just didn’t know what to say and I didn’t want there to be this awkward silence because, like, the more awkward it gets the more I want to be silent but then that just makes it more awkward and I… I was rambling wasn’t I?” You clock his amused grin that spread across his face, creating the most precious crinkles you have ever seen.

“No, no it’s fine, it was cute.” He blurted. It was now his turn to turn red. He laughed weirdly, obviously embarrassed of his own remark.

“I’m sorry too. That’s what I wanted to say… that I was sorry. I get it, the whole people treating you like shit thing. I get that too. I can’t blame you for defending yourself. I just… is that really what people say about me?”

“Huh?” He shifted his gaze from your lips to your eyes.

“That thing you said, about the rumour. Do people really say that?” You quieten. You’ve been here two years now and you didn’t even begin to think what people were saying behind your back.

“No, no, no… well, not exactly.” He quickly sat down next to you on the bench top, placing his hands lazily on his lap, messing around with his rings. Why does he only have rings on his left hand?

“What do they say?” When he stays silent you enquire further, “Seriously tell me. At least if I know I can prepare myself for when Tommy and his band of walking cliches come for me.”

“I haven’t heard much,” He finally says, tilting his head towards you, “But I heard people say all sorts of crazy stuff when you first appeared. Something about you being sent away because your parents didn’t want you. And one about you only being friends with that Wheeler girl because you wanted in to the hoard of wannabes.” He said so matter of factly as if he didn’t believe it’s true.

“Oh.” That’s all you say. You had to admit, that stung.

“I don’t believe them!” He raises both his hands as if he had just been caught by the cops.

“No, don’t worry it’s… fine. At least I know now.” You quickly added. You weren’t a wannabe, but the first part was true.

“Anyway,” He said, “I never got to formally introduce myself when I made the most awful first impression in the world.”

He gets up to stand in front of you, bowing so theatrically that you began to giggle.

“Eddie Munson, at your service.” As he straightened up, his hair whipped behind him and he extended a hand, “And you are?”

“You already know my name.” You laughed, shaking your head.

“Shh, pretend I don’t, I’m trying something here.”

“Okay, I’m Y/n, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Eddie.” You take his hand, trying to ignore how the brush of his skin made your heart flutter.

“Pleasure is all mine, Y/n.” He pretended to kiss your hand before gently dropping it and sitting on the grass in front of you, stretching his legs and using his arms to prop himself up.

“No last name there Y/n?” He asked.

“Not something I use very often. I’m thinking of dropping it completely, like Madonna or Prince.” It’s true. You never say your surname out loud. You weren’t even sure you were allowed to after that look your parents had given you that night.

“I like it, make a statement.” He nodded, he obviously noticed how uncomfortable the mention of your family surname made you.

“Exactly.”

You both talked for a while, mostly about school and how much you both disliked Harrington and his gang, laughing at eachother’s jokes until there was a moment of silence. Not awkward just… peaceful. You were looking into the distance, noticing the young boys you knew were riding their bikes past the front field. There were only three of them.

Remembering what Jonathan had told you suddenly brought you back to reality. As you looked back at Eddie, you saw he was already staring at you, a soft smile on his face.

“What time is it?” You asked, looking at the watch on his wrist, attempting to hide your own smile at his own but failing immediately.

“It’s about… 5.” He said nodding in agreement with himself.

“Oh shit I’m late!” You started grabbing you bag, hopping off the bench and turning to look at Eddie who was already stood next to you.

“For what?” He questioned, closing the space between you both as he looked down into your eyes. You couldn’t deny the warm feeling in your chest.

“I was meant to be meeting Nancy to study like 20 minutes ago! My god, I think she might actually kill me.” It was true, Nancy was very serious when it came to studies.

“Ah well, that sounds… fun.” He smiled, leaning against the bench.

“Yeah I can’t wait for her to scream at me about hydrogen atoms.” You laugh, adjusting your backpack. Thank god you decided to ride your bike in today. You had your drivers license but you were missing a key part; a car.

“Thank you,” You said, turning around, “for coming to apologise. I’m glad you did.”

“Me too.” He smiled again, grabbing part of his hair to cover his cheek, “Now go, I would hate to find that you were brutally murdered by a science book.”

You laughed, saying a quick goodbye and sprinting toward your bike. Maybe he was better than you thought.

Your recent high had been shattered when you made it to the Wheeler house.

Karen had opened the door, welcoming you in and letting you know that Nancy was in the dining room with everyone else. As you both walked through, you could hear Mike’s raised voice as he complained about having to stay in.

“We’ve been over this. The chief said-” Karen said, sighing as if they had been having this conversation long before you arrived.

“I don’t care what the chief said.” He snapped, both of his hands on the table.

“Michael!”

As they continued to argue, you made your way to Nancy, smiling with raised eyebrows at the quarrel before you. She just shook her head in disappointment, smiling back as you took a seat next to her.

“Will could be in danger!”

“Wait, what?” Your attention now completely focused on the dark haired boy, “What happened?”

“He went missing, they found his bike on the side of the road today. He hadn’t made it home last night.” Karen answered solemnly. Your heart sank, so many scenarios running through your head.

“They’ll find him.” Mr. Wheeler said in monotone. He was clearly more interested in his paper than the conversation.

“More reason to stay put.” Karen chimed. She was clearly just trying to protect her child.

“Mom! I don’t see Y/n staying home!” Mike whined. You glared at him. Why did he have to bring you into this?

“Y/n lives next door, it’s not like she’s riding out in the dark. End of discussion.” His mother demanded, finalising their argument by taking a sip of her water.

“So… Y/n and I were gonna study for the chemistry test at Barb’s house tonight. That’s cool right?” Nancy spoke, looking at you to agree with her. This was news to you but you nodded along nonetheless.

“No, not cool.” Karen said, spinning around to face you.

“What? Why not?”

“Why do you think? Am I speaking Chinese in this house? Until we know Will is okay, no one leaves.”

You chose to stay silent. You knew Nancy didn’t want to leave just to study at Barb’s house.

“So we’re under house arrest?”

“Don’t be dramatic Nancy.”

“This is such bullshit.”

“Language!”

You zoned out of the conversation, your thoughts drifting to Will. You had possibly the nicest time of your years here talking to Eddie while at the same time, Will had been missing. He could be all alone and afraid. And you told Jonathan that he was okay.

“You’re just pissed because you wanna hang out with Steve.”

That caught your attention. Of course this had to do with Steve. Nancy looked at you with an expression you couldn’t quite read, yelling at her Mike for spilling her secret. You came here to study with your friend and she was just going to ditch you for her new boy toy. Rude.

“You’re such a douche, Mike!” She screamed, shoving out of her chair and storming off to her room.

“I… should go with her.” You mumbled as you stood up and left. You didn’t want to stick around much longer.

When you entered Nancy’s room, she was sat on her bed with the phone that she must have grabbed along the way. You silently sat on the edge of her bed, setting your bag down on the floor and taking your shoes off.

“Yeah, sorry, we’ll meet up another time… okay. Bye.” She hung up and placed the phone on her night stand, sighing.

“Steve?” It wasn’t really a question, you knew she wasn’t talking to Barb.

“Yeah… I’m really sorry. He asked me to meet up with him tonight and I couldn’t find you at the end of school to tell you.” She gave an apologetic smile. “But I guess that doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Your mom is just scared. Will is literally missing. I can’t even imagine how Joyce is feeling let alone your mom.” It was a heartbreaking thought, knowing Joyce and Jonathan were having to deal with all this right now.

“I know, you’re right. Mike just gets me worked up sometimes. I mean, can you believe he just blurted about Steve like that?”

“It was uncalled for, I guess.” You chuckled as Nancy grabbed her cards and held them out to you.

The night went smoothly. You still worried about Will but trusted that the sheriff would find him soon. As you quizzed Nancy, the images of a familiar smile filled your mind. You just couldn’t get Eddie out of your head. Clearly it was written all over your face when Nancy tilted her head laughing.

“What’s that smile for?”

“What? Nothing. I just… really love Chemistry.” A failed attempt at misdirection.

“Shut up, you’re thinking about a boy.”

“How did you-”

She just raised her eyebrows.

“That obvious, huh?” You might be able to keep in words but your face always gave you away.

“Well, tell me! Who is he?” She squealed, excited that you may have met someone.

Before you could answer, there was a tapping noise at the open window, causing both of you to jump and scatter the cards everywhere.

“Yeah, who is he?” Steve said in a high-pitched voice, clearly mocking you both.

“Steve!” Nancy made her way to the window. You just stayed sat on the bed.

Yay..., you thought while rolling your eyes, it’s Steve.

“What are you doing here? I told you I would have to stay in tonight-”

“I know. We’ll study here.”

“No, I told you, absolutely not, go away-”

Yes, please go away Steve.

“I don’t want you to fail tomorrow.” He interrupts, flashing his signature smile. You didn’t think it was possible to roll your eyes harder.

Despite her earlier protests, she opened her window further, allowing him access. He climbed through, landing softly on his feet. You would be impressed if you weren’t aware that he has snuck into many girls’ windows before. What a gentleman.

“What did I tell you? A ninja.” He was clearly referencing an inside joke you didn’t know.

You began putting your shoes back on and stuffing your books back into your bag. It was obvious that you weren’t wanted anymore.

“Y/n, what are you doing?” Nancy asked with so much innocence that you figured she was oblivious to Steve’s actual plans for being here.

“She’s probably just tired.” Steve remarked, shrugging. That asshole.

“I didn’t feel like sitting here while you made out with Mr Hairspray over there.” You shot back, happy with Steve’s offended reaction that Nancy ignored.

“What? No, we’re just studying I promise.” Nancy walked to you, hand on your arm. “Plus you didn’t even tell me about that boy.”

“Wow, never thought Y/n would even have a boy.” Steve snorted with his hands in his pockets.

“Steve!” Nancy hushed. She knew you two didn’t get along but still managed to act surprised when you fought.

“Y/n!” She also said as you stuck your middle finger at him, standing and swinging your bag onto your shoulder.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Nancy.” You said, smiling in reassurance that you didn’t blame her for this sudden situation.

“Bye, Y/n.” Steve said cheerily, giving you a wave.

“Bye, Hairy.” You replied as you left her room, smirking to yourself.

You didn’t need to turn around to know Steve was angry with your nickname. A nickname that surely was going to make a comeback soon. It was too good to let go now that you started.

You stood at the counter as your uncle walked in, bringing the stench of alcohol in with him. He had been drinking with his work friends again. You were pretty sure he doesn’t consider them as ‘friends’, it just gave him an excuse to drink.

“Aren’t you meant to be asleep?” He muttered.

“I’m 16 and it’s only 9.” You replied softly. He wasn’t a horrible man. Truth is, he was still mourning. He and your aunt never even got to have any kids before she died. This was as new to him as it was to you.

“Ah. Well, I’ll be in the other room if you need me.” He patted your shoulder and left holding a beer bottle he had removed from the fridge.

You just sat in your room for the rest of the night, attempting to study the cards you hadn’t gotten the chance to look at before the horny mascot of shampoo had crashed your study date. But no matter what you tried, your mind was running a hundred miles an hour with every thought but chemistry. Will. Eddie. California.

You knew this year was going to be different. You felt it as you got into bed, body shivering as you turned off the bedside lamp that had began flickering.

Yet another bulb to replace.

Chapter 2: Pool Parties and Good Punches ->

#stranger things #stranger things reader insert #stranger things x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #dustin henderson #mike wheeler #will byers #lucas sinclair #nancy wheeler #steve harrington #x reader #female reader #eddie munson fanfic #fanfic

[devondeal]

6, 12, 14, and 21 for the Star Wars Violence Ask Game!

Thank you wifey! 💙💚 I'm gonna enjoy these

6. Opinion on canon and/or fanon use of the secret child trope? Discuss

I don't mind it. The secret child can be a good trope if the context is right for it. I mean Star Wars is centered on secret child trope pretty much. Where I'm not so into it is the Korkie headcanon that he is Obi Wan and Satine's son. It's a bit too crackhead for me and also it's not my ship so I'm biased against it.

12. Name a common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing.

Anything about Rey tbh. I may not be a big sequels person but anytime the fandom tries reduce her to an overpowered female Luke and say she's unoriginal I roll my eyes.

Like they are nothing alike. Luke got to live comfortably taken care of by his aunt and uncle. He never had to scavage scraps just to be able to eat. And before anyone comes for me, I'm NOT ripping on Luke. He had what anyone should have.

What I'm saying is Rey didn't get to have guardians or a comfortable house or regularly even be able eat. She was abandoned and did what she had to to survive. As for the overpowered thing like she's able to fly ships or fight back, like come on. I repeat, she. was. a. scavanger. She got to know ship parts and as for fighting, she's had to fight dickheads like Teedo and probably worse to keep food, homes, etc. After rewatching TFA, i notice she learns from OBSERVATION. She mimics what others do around. This is a survival skill she had her whole life.

Of course Luke is going to take a little more time to learn things. He was never put in that situation where it was do or die (as any child shouldn't). Rey was and however fast she was at learning a skill is a result of basic survival instincts.

She and Luke ENTIRELY different characters and to say she's a female version of him cuz she's from a desert????? Reductive and a big lack in media literacy tbh.

14. What's the most egregious example of fridging in canon?

God which one? 😅 Fridging is probably one of Star Wars biggest crimes. Leia is the first that comes to mind because she died to redeem her piece of shit son that she did not deserve.

But then again, Anakin's turn to the dark side is also due to fridging with his mother and his wife. Especially with Padme since there's an old version where she actually gets to live a little bit longer with the Rebellion and tried to kill Anakin.

I may not be a big Satine person, but that's fridging too to give Obi Wan angst and more Maul animosity.

I'm still going to say Leia in the sequels though as the most egregious. Because it was so out of nowhere (yes I'm aware that Carrie's death was probably the reason but I don't care. There are better ways to kill off/write out a character than fridging). Her death served no purpose other than Kyle Ron no accountability. Like what in "Jesus died for our sins" is this bullshit? Why must Star Wars' most iconic woman have to go out for a man that did nothing but hurt and betray her? It's insulting tbh.

Edit: Luminara's death was fucking awful too. Like ain't no reason to have it be so horrific. Sigh... can Star Wars like not hate women for once.

21. Best canon example of a healthy relationship in Star Wars

Romantically that is a tough one. Honestly I'm coming up short with this one. Can't say Han and Leia cuz we only see their rocky start and end and nothing in between.

Maybe Kanan and Hera but their relationship kinda got ruined for me when suddenly at the end, he wasnt aware if Hera felt the same about him??? I just thought they were basically married and I'm supposed to be believe they haven't even had that conversation by THAT point in time??? Plus the ghost baby thing creeped me the fuck out. Can Star Wars please stop with the out of nowhere pregnancies please?

So yeah canon romances, nothing comes to mind. In fact Star Wars is kind of built on toxic romance.

The crackhead in me wants to say Owen and Beru 🤣

Ooo! Wait I found my answer! Cal and Merrin from the Jedi games! They are perfect 🥺 Idk what the next game will have in store for them but so far, the way they empower and comfort each other. They accept and love each other's differences. And just adorable all around. Sweet ginger boy with spicy witch lady 👌

#choose violence ask game #jedimasterbailey 💙💚 #calmerrin #cal kestis #nightsister merrin #cal x merrin #star wars #rey skywalker #leia organa #han solo

[meandmyechoes]

a word or two about Predecessors:

zendai lineup: Corsus - (Blue) - Papa Ran - Karras - Iroki

can they all henshin? Will Iroki henshin?

if they all henshin they can just be reverse colour scheme with the main suits (armor colour ↔ undersuit/cape colour)

otherwise, Corsus = silver/red; Blue = Cyan, Ran = Peach; Karras = Dark Purple; Iroki = Brown (ignoring cohesion)

technically though, the suit shouldn't change colour with different users (Imai-san, Ookuwagata SA is in the film, persumably as the user of gold Calibur)

basically zendai redblue would be like racules kagu and Iroki Karras hime rita but enemies and papa ran is happily married

Corsus is a copy of Racules but actually villainous (Mama Husty is dead.)

my image of Zendai Blue is Ryunosuke but sly (yankee yori yakuza). feels like he'd've a precious little girl somehow? (mom unknown of course)

Papa Ran being the mediator of the five

Karras and Iroki should be the black/purple dynamic we all thought at reveal? Feel like they'd hate each other's guts at first sight and hold an ongoing grudge for no reason

(i'm not sure how i feel about Iroki being married or not but it's so funny to substitute Amano-san as a trophy husband for now) it's still a children's show so i can't outright say she has a harem right

Shiron and Garren boasting their wives

The househusbands asking receipes from Mama Ran??

Mama Ran sharing medicinal soups with Shiron for his overworking stay-up-late wife :)

i think i read this hc elsewhere but it tracks that Shiron went to the same uni (aka the best one) as the Rans (they look like a college couple to me anyway)

Or maybe because they have a common friend in Papa Ran that Karras and Shiron met (at wedding cliche?)

god if Karras/Shiron had a procedural courtship

they all came to baby Himeno/Racules/Gira's public debut :') (first month/birthday/erabitori etc.)

Iroki has to love Racules with his proper princely manner (think the aunt that always pinch your cheeks)

Iroki being all mean in words to baby Himeno ("ara, what a scawny pet") but showers her with so much gifts so she can win the title of her favourite aunt

I don't think Rita's adoption would be a big celebration (if no dirty secrets covered) but just another bulletin. When Iroki found out she's glad she has another "scandal" against Karras and made sure to send a gigantic, extravagant gift at Zaiban Court's door (delivery fee paid by recipient)

This won't happened but if Iroki teased Rita with an embarrassing childhood episode and that's why they screamed in the trailer lol

Karras's disappearance happened after God's Fury and I'd imagine hers was one recognition Kaguragi's new government needed. How did she feel about it?

Unless Toufu's rebellion happened after Karras's disapearance and no proper recognition exists in the sense that none of the new kings' rule is solid yet

Else, how responsible did she feel in the short window when she was the only adult sovereign? (consider Corsus "fell victim" to God's Fury too)

#ahhh now i said it wanna go buy some yudo and kitbash a Zendai team haha #kingohger #kingoh hcs #i can't think of a direct allegory but the image of Karras wanting to punch someone but Shiron holding her back is *punch my own gut* #if we're adding to Rita's trauma how about Shiron arriving later than them and the betrayal only after they gave him his trust

[yan-sideblog]

SDJ Childstar AU

So this is the brainchild me & @glitt3rh3ll cooked up a short while ago. Be warned nobody in this AU is having a fun time and there WILL be more suffering in the future.

Jack's VHS tape winds up in the hands of a former childstar who grew up into a depressed alcoholic adult.

From a young age Y/N's mother forced them into acting.

Would constantly tell them things like "All you've got going for you is a cute face so you better make use of it.".

Their stepdad was a real piece of work and while he never did anything they were very much uncomfortable around him and would he was "being weird".

Their biggest success was their longstanding role as one of the children on "double kids no income".

The cast was full of fucked up individuals

The only cast member who gave a rat's ass about them was Debbie, she played the cooky aunt.

She wasn't a saint by any means (drinking, some drugs and could be bitchy) but she had a soft spot for the kid.

Would offer them a glass of red after a bad day, the first time was after the show got rid of the old family dog for a new cuter puppy.

Y/N loved that dog and begged their mom.to let them keep it but she ignored them like always.

Deb also told them "you gotta look out for number one kid cause people can't be trusted".

Another cast member who played a friendly neighbor offered them speed when they were like fuckin 12.

And while drugs never became their preferred poison they do indulge in weed regularly and sometimes acid.

Their drinking problem started in earnest at 14 to help numb them to all the bullshit goin on.

Mom of course didn't care "so long as you're camera ready.".

Once the show ended they were basically set for life just off tbe royalties they'd make.

After it ended they were deemed "to old" for toles they'd get type casted as which really fucked with their self image even further.

Didn't help that the media regularly ripped into their life looking for any little thing to criticize. After all people love a good trainwreck.

Ian is still their ex and it still ended in him cheating.

Now this REALLY fucked with their head because they firmly believe he only used them to further his own career.

Of course they'd rather fuckin die than admit this asshole had that much of an effect on them.

This kickstarted a week long bender that ended with shaun needing to get them from the middle of Texas.

Details are fuzzy as shit but they ended up putting a cinderblock on the gas pedal and jumping out as their car went over a cliff.

Something to note during the relationship they heavily projected their own mother issues onto Ian telling him "Why do you still give a fuck about the stuff she's said? She's just a fuckin bitch so she & her opinions can eat shit.".

As for Shaun he's currently crashing with Y/N and they're afraid he's just using them to.

He isn't, man is a rising star in the horror genre for his ideas & directing skills so he's not short on cash or his own connections.

The poor baby is just terrified of leaving them alone in that big house.

Has gone to sleep not knowing if they'd be alive in the morning more than once.

Has also lost sleep because of this to.

So he's purposefully dragging his feet when it comes to looking for a place.

Is in therapy just over this whole fucked up situation.

More than once they've wished he'd just fuckin leave for, in their words, "his own god dammed good.".

Not because they hate him but because as much as they fear he's using them they're even more afraid of poisoning him eith their bullshit.

"I ruin literally everything i touch and don't get why the fuck you wanna be around me.".

Self depreciation and pushing people away are their bread and butter.

And then there's Jack.

Which if they were honest they didn't think he was real for the longest time.

"Yeah casper i just kinda assumed i was finally going nutty, ate a bad pot brownie or all the booze finally fried my brain.".

Because of their connection he has a front row seat to the memories and nightmares of what they've gone through.

Man is horrified.

He also feels this weird connection and isn't sure why. Really it's because Joseph was an actor and while Jack may not be Joseph Joseph is still Jack in a way.

Tries to get them to at least limit the damage they're doing to themsekves but of course it doesn't work.

And any time he tries to provide comfort the tell him "I'm fine rainbow bright, now fuck off and make some balloon animals or whatever shit it is you do.".

Yeah Jack is gonna have his hands full just trying to keep him alive.

Especially since Y/N isn't ready to get help and is always telling themselves "I've got a big ass house and never have to work another day in my life. The fuck do i have to be depressed about?".

#jack #shaun #ian #something's wrong with sunny day jack #sunny day jack #swwsdj #sdj #sdj headcanons #sdj childstar au #tw drug use mention #tw alchoholism #tw depression #yan-sideblog

[shojizbae]

A Whole New girl

Min Ho x Fem! Reder

masterlist

♨︎⚕︎♨︎✄

Sunday came around and Min Ho seemed to still be on the warpath of a makeover. Although (Y/n) didn't understand why, she had new hair, new clothes, and a skincare routine she actually remembered to do at night. This is even what she was reflecting on while she did the morning skincare routine he assigned her. When she exited her bathroom she saw the whole new wardrobe that Min Ho purchased her.

God, how much could this cost? She knelt down with a crack to her knees to try to scrap something together for the day. Her closet was empty sans a trench coat her aunt got her for Christmas and some lingerie her other aunt bought her as a joke present. I hope you'll be doing a lot more than kissing at KISS she chided with a wink. Luckily some of her painting clothes had been saved from his tirade because they were hidden in a cardboard board marked 'precious'.

She got some underwear out of a drawer and even managed to find the matching bra, a stupid middle school obsession. most of her socks had been tossed and replaced with fresh ones. I guess that's kind.

She found a white tank top hidden in her pillows ad tossed that one then searched for a pair of pants. This morning she had to tutor Shlomo on an upcoming physics exam and she couldn't be late because she had to get to church. Oh crap, what am I supposed to wear to church? She ran her hands through her hair.

Oh my God, my dad is going to hate this hair! She panicked. She did the easiest thing she had learned to do from now on. Text Min Ho. She sent him an SOS text and found a pair of socks. He was knocking on her door and she sprinted out of her room to rip the front door open and drag him in my his forearm.

"Ow! Ow! Man, you're pushy!"

"Listen I need clothing! I have no idea how to dress myself!" she tucked her glasses up

"Why aren't you wearing your contacts. They were quite expensive." his smarmy face showed that he had all the power.

"Would you just listen to me?" she swatted his arm "You got rid of all my clothes I have no idea what I'm supposed to wear and I have to be at the library in seven minutes!" she yelled at him in Korean

"All right calm down," she gave him a sharp look "I'll style you, but uh" his eyes were fixated on her hips "Why aren't you wearing pants?" instantly she tried to cover her legs with her arms. But when that didn't work she decided to jump under the covers of her bed.

"Alright, alright calm down, I've seen plenty of girls in much less." he squatted in front of one of the bags and pulled out a stylist mini skirt

"Are you crazy? I have to go to church after this!"

"Really you go to church?"

"Yeah you don't"

"I mean, not often."

"Well, my dad's a deacon and military so I can't disobey him, and skipping church is a huge disobeying."

"You're dad is in the military?"

"YES! Now please find me some pants!"

"I've never had a girl beg for me to put pants on them, I don't hate it." he resumed digging through the bags until he found some brown plaid pants. He tossed them at her and she caught them and ripped the tags off without hesitation. She leaped out of her covers and tugged them off. Min Ho enjoyed the show. Even though the legs were wide, the waist was small and the was some brief resistance getting the pants around her hips.

"Ok, I need a better shirt that this, there's no tank tops aloud at my church."

"What are you, fundamentalists?" "Protestants." she tugged the tank top off her body and tossed it at her pillows, joining him at the bags.

"Uh here," He handed her a ballet-necked, beige body suit and then got her a jean jacket. She grunted a the snaps and tugged her pants down and readjusted her underwear

She tossed a pair of black Doc Martens, grabbed the jacket from Min Ho, and threw her backpack over her shoulder. She arrived at the library four minutes and 13 seconds late.

The only way she knew that is because, for the entirety of the lesson, Shlomo reminded her. Shlomo was insufferable so the whole time she was looking forward to going to church. Luckily the 85 minutes passed at a crawling speed. She was able to hop on her regular bus to get to church.

Man, was her dad angry about her hair. She was on time, and she was dressed well. Not an ounce of inappropriate collarbone or shoulder showing. But still, her father gave her the sharpest glare and huffed from his nose upon her arrival. He still had her hand out pamphlets and fans. She had to stand and sing with the choir and hand around the donations basket. The whole time though, her father was looming over her shoulder.

Afterward, she had her stay to help set up for the funeral of someone's grandma. She didn't stay long, once people started rolling in, she knew her father wouldn't want the masses to see her. The procession had been whispering through the whole service about her improved appearance. But her dad hated it.

His emotions were buried deep with (Y/n)'s mother, he hadn't shown any emotions his whole life. His dad, (Y/n)'s Grandpa never taught him how. So when he wasn't good enough at school, he joined the army. After losing his right leg below the knee, he was honorably discharged. His father called it disgraceful. They have spoken since (Y/n) was born. He took to the bible for comfort. All day he preached about loving all. But, he was never one to say 'I love you' to his children.

He is never direct and so (Y/n) figured out from disapproving grunts that he didn't like the way his daughter looked. She rode the bus back to campus and limped because her brand new Doc Martens hadn't been broken in. They were pinching her all day. So as soon as she got 'home'.

She didn't realize she was crying until she pulled her head up from her pillow and saw the twin wet spots.

"Why are you so upset?"

"Are you being empathetic right now?" She sniffled and sat up criss-cross apple sauce

"Well, you are sobbing into your sheets, did church not go as planned?"

"No," she sniveled "it did not go as planned. I mean, the sermon was lovely we talked about loving our husbands and our neighbors."

"Then what happened?"

"It's everything that's not the actual sermon, it's all the procession whispering about me. I used to be unnoticed but ever since you waltzed into my life, people have been paying attention to me. It was fine when people at church were saying that it was unfortunate that my mom died and how I've blossomed into a young woman or whatever. But today all anyone could say is that I've lost my way or my dad needs to put the reigns on me. "

"Your mom died?"

"Yeah- uh" the ring of her phone cut her off

"Sergeant dad' it read

"Athair?" she began knowing she didn't want Min Ho to understand this conversation. Her dad fired at her in the same language. For an uninterrupted 17 minutes, she sat down and took every pejorative that her father hurtled at her. She sat and let her face wobble as she tried to keep her expression stone-like. Even if he wasn't looking at her she knew his deserving glare would harden. He said emotions were weaknesses. So she sat while he one-sidedly hurled insults at his daughter.

"Tha mi duilich, dad" she responded, sounding defeated. Then she hung up the call and plugged her phone in at her nightstand. She took a deep breath and folded her hands in her lap. she was quiet fro a moment. an eerie silence passed over the two as she presumably prayed.

"Are you alright?"

"No, uh I just got kicked out of the church. Well not kicked out but I was told not to come back to the service until I've 'pulled myself together' and when I looked less like a 'harlot'." she didn't look in Min Ho's direction until she finished her vent.

"That's what he was saying? What language was he speaking?" Min Ho decided he was going to try to redirect her

"Yeah we were speaking Gaelic, we picked it up when he was stationed in Scotland."

"That's cool, so, how many languages can you speak?"

"Uh like four fluently. Korean, English, Scottish Gaelic, and German

"Fluently?"

"Well, I can understand some conversational Swedish and Russian." She shrugged her jean jacket off and hung it up in her closet. She returned with armfuls of hangers that were left behind by Min Ho.

"That's really cool,"

"Yeah, I guess." She got the rest of the hangers out and started dumping the bags of clothes on her bed. She told Min Ho a story about living in Scotland and sneaking to pubs last year.

"So how'd you end up at KISS?"

"My dad wanted to move back to the homeland after he got discharged."

"why'd he get released?"

"He lost a foot to a landmine."

"He went to war?"

"No, we were in Scotland and they were testing new bombs and one commander marched them through the testing zone. A few people died and he now doesn't have two tibias." Min Ho joined her hanging up various jackets and pants. It was impossible to ignore the lingerie in the closet. Instead, every time she would put stuff in she pushed the lacy piece deeper in.

They worked silently, at least (Y/n) was quiet. Min Ho was kind of enjoying being around a girl who doesn't crumble at his feet. Eventually, she tired of the outfit she was wearing. The reality that Min Ho was still in the room feeding skirts onto hangers from her mattress had slipped her mind. She reached for the button of her pants and started sliding them down her hip and she stepped out of them. She undid the snaps and tugged the long sleeves over her head tossing it to the side.

Before she could unclasp her bra she hear a 'uawaaah' of shock. she spun around hands still grabbing her bra this time by the cups.

"What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing?" he shot back

"I was changing! Get out!" she directed a finger at her door

"Fine!" he put the clothes down and fled her room. She was very flustered as she tugged on a pair of men's checkered boxers and found that white tank from earlier. She finished shoving the clothes in her closet and then pulled the precious box down. From the box, she provided a heavily paint stained flannel shirt.

She opened the drawer under her bed and got out a canvas and a palette. She set to a painting without a plan. In the end, it was time for dinner so she put a bra back on and then put real pants. She sat by herself during dinner

♨︎⚕︎♨︎✄

On Monday she woke up 30 minutes early to do her skincare and then, scarily, her makeup. The occasional lip gloss and mascara combo was the most she had done ever. But, per Min Ho's instructions, she was to follow the tutorial he sent her. It was a youtube tutorial with way too many emojis in the title. She followed it to a tee.

Especially because Min Ho had bought all the products in the video for her. Makeup wasn't nearly as hard as she imagined, or maybe some skills had transferred over. She checked the time and noticed that she was on the path to being late for class. She finished touching up her lip tint and hurried to get her uniform on.

She ran to get to the first class, Professor Chae for Korean Language. All the way to lunch she had to endure the whispers. She managed to get contacts in so the glasses were out. Now, all she had to do was enjoy a meal in silence. She put in her earbuds cracked open a book ad much on some noodles while listening to an album from the '40s she had recently discovered.

Before she could enjoy her lunch six other trays slapped down on the table. Across from her sat kitty and next to kitty was Q and next to Q was Florian. Which left her in a Dae-Min Ho sandwhich.

"So, (Y/n) I'm loving this new you."

"I'm not," I muttered in Korean

"Why aren't you loving the new you?" Min Ho responded in Korean

"I don't hate looking pretty, I just hate all the attention it draws," I told the group in English

"Well as much, as you're not enjoying being pretty I need to ask you a favor."

"Hit me,"

"Can you use your prettiness to draw people in for my hike tomorrow night?" Q gave me a puppy face.

"Uhh, that's a pass."

"What! but please!"

"Look I don't know why you guys all just flooded in so quickly and assumed you're my friends. I never really wanted this makeover in the first place!" Oh man, that just slipped right out

"Then why'd you let me spend all that money on you! And waste my time with you!"

"I don't know, it was just nice for one person to be paying attention and you know doting on me. But now it's-" words got stuck in the back of my throat. I picked up my backpack and my book and stomped away. I was acting like an immature little girl so I made my way to Professor Lee's classroom.

He didn't mind having me on there, I'm quiet. I continue on my book and catch myself every time I start humming along to the lyrics. Eventually, the bell rings, and students start filtering through the door and I sit through the lecture taking diligent notes. The final class hits, Chem. Sadly I'm confronted by the whole group that sat with me.

They never confronted me but now I have the ultra-clear vision to see every time they sneak a glance at me. Torture. All this attention is torture. The room feels hots, time is crawling by and we are forced to do partner work. Kitty scurries over with that over excited smile on her face.

“What Kitty?”

“I want to be your partner.”

“Fine, you could use an A” way harsh, don’t be a bitch

“Alright,” her expression fell

“I’m sorry Kitty. I didn’t mean it to come out the way it did.”

“That’s fine, everyone makes mistakes. And I do need an A.” I felt my cheeks lift at the same time as hers. Whew. We wrap up an experiment on molecular mass versus the velocity of protons. Very intriguing.

I follow Kitty out of the chemistry lab and we pick up smoothies and walk through the sun. Kitty tells me about her mom and how she’s here to learn more about her. We trade stories of our dads trying to help us through our first period. General girl bonding. She seems sweet enough I should at snapped at her.

“Kitty, I want to apologize once again for what I said at class, and at lunch.”

“Oh that’s not necessary-“

“But it is. I’m sorry Kitty. I just feel like all this pressure on me to be the best and the nicest, and now like the prettiest. I mean, I could never rival you, or Eunice or Yuri.”

“Uh, (Y/n) have you, er have you ever had friends before?”

“Not really, I used to sneak around with the kids in base. But, we moved around so much I never made true friends.”

“Well, consider me your first. I’m Katherine Song Covey, Kitty to my friends.”

“I’m (Y/n) Sae-Byeok (L/n). (Y/n) to my friends.”

“Wait Sae-Byeok, like that girl from Squid Games?”

“Exactly.” I take the final sip of my smoothie and toss the plastic cup in a nearby recycling bin.

♨︎⚕︎♨︎✄

I bring Kitty up to my dorm and let her ransack my brand-new closet. While she rips out far overpriced clothes, I ready a study guide for her in English and copy it down in Korean so she can practice reading.

"OH my god, (Y/n) Min Ho bought you Fendi?" She holds up a really thick mini skirt

"I guess. I didn't really grow up caring about brands. on the base, the only difference our clothes had was the pins you earned. I mostly just wore tank tops from dropout pogues."

"Well this skirt," she held it up to her body and looked in the mirror attached to the closet "Is very stylish and very expensive."

"Well I don't really care about my looks. I guess I kind of stopped caring about them in eighth grade. I hit quite a depression, Wh Sorry I didn't mean to dump all that on you."

"That's alright." she pulled out a silky buttoned shirt

"I just, talking with someone about my feeling has never flowed this easily."

"Well thank you," I throw my notebook to the side and tuck my hair behind my ears

"Kitty can I admit something to you?"

"I don't really know the laws here but I'm pretty sure murder is still illegal."

"No, it's more gross feelings."

"Go ahead,"

"I recently was told not to go back to my church, and I am not handling it well. I just-I feel so neglected. I feel like I was left behind." I started to tear up

"Hey, hey it's fine. I'm gonna be right here for you, until curfew, then you can find me in here." she picks up my phone and I unlock it for her. I see her quickly punch her information in.

"Hey, Kitty?" she meets my burning eyes "Can we play dress up?" Twin smiles grow on our cheeks. We melt our woes with expensive clothes. Oooh, those could be song lyrics. Then we tediously clean up all the spilled clothes. She leaves with the copies of notes and I relax in my blankets. I roll open the drawer under my bed ad look at the painting created.

Oh, dear.

#kdrama #xokitty #netflixseries #min ho x y/n #MinHo #kitty covey

[violettawriting]

Chapter Two

Francesca's P.O.V

It's been a week and a half since Leóns party and I've been extremelly busy with classes and all of the complementary college projects i've signed to this semester. I barely have time to think about anything else besides sheet music and guitar chords.

I was in the middle of revising a song lyric that I've been working on when my phone starts vibrating, and my brother Luca's name appears on the screen.

"Ciao, Luca. Cosa desideri?" I answear not really in the mood for talking.

"Woah, okay... i missed you too." He teases. "How are you? We haven't heard of you in weeks."

"Sto bene, Luca. Just very busy." i try to sound as friendly as I can.

"Hm. Good to hear. Soo... you already know why I'm calling, right? You still haven't told us if you're coming for nonna's birthay party."

I take a deep breath and press the bridge of my nose with my thumb and index finger. I hate to sound like I don't care about my family's stuff. I mean, I love them and I miss them very much. But sometimes it seems like they just don't aknowledge the fact I'm living in another continet and it's not that easy to go visit. Plus, I'm really focused on college right now. They'll be offering a huge opportunity to work with the biggest singer of Buenos Aires, Angie Carrara (aka Vilu's aunt), to the student with best grades by the end of the semester and I've been working my ass of to get it.

"Yeah, I know.. I'm sorry. It's just that I still don't know if there'll be any exams in that week. I promise I'll give you guys a response ASAP."

"Hm... alright. Just please don't take too long, 'kay?" I mumble a positive answer. "Okay then... Prenditi cura di te. We'll be waiting for you call.

"A presto". I hang up and stare at my screen. God, I really need a good night of sleep.

I stretch in the chair and run my hands through my hair, sighing wearily. After a few seconds staring at the wall, I finally get some courage to get myself up and go to the cafeteria buy myself something extra-sugary.

In the middle of my walk from the dormitories to the main building, I notice how crowded the campus is today. For some reason, it seems to have more people around this wednesday afternoon. I watch as a few groups of students pass by, chatting in hushed tones. As I finally approach the grand entrance of the University of Buenos Aires, I spot a rather... amusing pair, whispering intensely in a more secluded corner.

I spot Ludmila's shiny hair first. Her colorfull outfit starkly contrasts with Diego's plain gray shirt and black pants. I try not to stare but I just can't help feeling intriged by this weird duo.

Obviously I'm not able to make out the words, so I eventually give up on watching them. But not before Diego cathes my staring eyes and stops talking. I try to act normal, as if it was just a coincidence that I was looking at their direction the same moment he looked at me, and rush into the building.

***

I'm sitting at a table in the corner of the cafeteria, waiting for Cami who's currently stuck in class with Gregorio. Poor her. I sip my cup of hot chocolate slowly, savoring it before it ends and I have to go back to my studies.

I am completely distracted inside my own mind and don't notice the blonde girl coming in my direction. "Hi, Fran! How are you today?" Ludmila aproaches me with that well-known fake tone in her voice. "It's been a while since we last had a chat!"

I stare at the girl, trying not to give her a face as annoyed as i feel right now. I've known Ludmila since high school, when i moved to Argentina with my family and started studying music at the Studio 21. It's no news that she's a trouble maker and will do whatever it takes to archieve her goals. Good thing we don't get to spend too much time together here in Uni.

"Hello, Ludmila" I reply not really giving her much attention.

I can sense what's to come when she pulls the chair on the other side of the table and sits in front of me. "So, how's the... chocolate?" she asks, in that typical Ludmila way.You can tell she's struggling to find friendly words to say. God, she's terrible at pretending to be interested in other people.

"Great. Can I help you?" I ask her directly. We both know she wouldn't come here if she didn't wanted something from me.

"Woah, Fran, it really hurts my feeling when you speak to me like this" She touches her chest in a hurt way and makes a sad puppy face. I say nothing, just stare at her with my brow arched, waiting. "Well, okay. Whatever," she drops the act. "I just wanted to ask why were you eversdropping my private conversation yearlier".

I keep staring and pretend I have no idea what she's talking about.

"Oh please, don't play dumb with me. What did you hear?" She is leaning on her arms, almost reaching the middle of the table, looking at me intently.

"I didn't hear anything, Ludmila. And I wasn't eversdropping."

She fake laughs, dismissing my answear with a "don't bullshit me" look.

"Seriously. I couldn't hear a word. And honestly, I don't care, either. So, don't worry. I won't tell anyone you were dealing drugs with Diego or anything." I say, getting up and grabbing my stuff.

Ludmila laughs loudly at that and I turn my head at her direction, actually intriged by her reaction.

"Drugs?! Oh, please, Fran. As if i needed any of that shit. Mind you, I'm pretty content with my sane mind. I'm naturally fun and entertaining." She runs a hand through her hair and leans back in the chair. "Plus, I would never do that to my body. Hello?? I'm an artist. A star. I gotta take care of my health and my voice." She says, as it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Aaalright... good for you. Really, congrats." I say, forcing a interested voice. "Now, if you excuse me, I have a saxophone waiting for me to play it in my dorm." I walk away as quickly as I can, leaving her no chance to keep the conversation going.

As I was briskly walking through the place, I bump into a familiar redhead who also seems to be in a hurry.

"Oof! Francesca, you nearly knocked me over!" Camila scolds me. "Where are you going with such hurry?"

"Sorry, I was running from Ludmila. She's certain I was eversdropping her and Diego earlier."

"Well... were you?" My friend asks, as we leave the building.

"No!! Of course not. I just saw them suspiciously whispering and thought it was weird." I say, trying not to sound as if it was a big deal because I know how invested in gossips Camila can get.

"Hum... I see." She ponders for a moment and we keep walking towards the dormitories. When I think the subject is already over, she spats "But like- why were they together? I mean, what could these two possibly have in common? Obviously it wasn't for drugs. Ludmila would never use any of that..." she keeps rumbling as I stay silent. Suddenly, Cami stops mid-walk and gasps. "Oh. My. God. What if they're secretly dating???"

I turn to look at my insane friend. "What? Where'd you get this idea from?" I say. "Of course not. They would never date each other. Plus, what's this? Middle school?" I dismiss her crazy idea, but as I think about it I start wondering if that would be really impossible. "Anyway. It doesn't matter. Why are Diego and Ludmila even a topic of our conversation?"

I open the door in front of me and enter the dormroom, leaving those thoughts in the hallway.

#diecesca #diego hernandez #francesca caviglia #violetta #AU #fanfic #fanfiction #violetta castillo #camila torres #ludmila ferro #perfectly wrong #chapter two

[agena87]

After leaving Kiyoshi in the alley, Alfie went to Tabitha's who promptly called Marie, when she saw the state he was in.

Marie: What happened?

Tabitha: He broke up with Kiyoshi.

M: Oh, honey. Are you alright? What did he do, this time?

T: Yeah, I'd like to know why I'll have to blow him up into atoms.

Alfie: It was my fault.

T: Umph, I doubt that.

A: I cheated on him. So yeah, my fault.

M: OK. You cheated, but I'm sure that's not all. Did he... hurt you?

Marie sits with her nephew and girlfriend on the ground, and pets Alfie's hair.

A: ... No. Not really. He beat up Wolfie bad, though.

T: Wol... You slept with Wolfgang?! Man, I can see why Kiyoshi was pissed, you couldn't choose someone worse in his book. But well done!

M: Tabitha! Not helping.

T: Sorry. What I meant is: was it good? I bet it was good.

M: (sighs) Tabi...

T: OK, I shut up. But was it?

M: (ignoring her girlfriend) Alfie. I know it's hard, but you did the right thing. Leaving him, I mean. Not cheat. Though, good for you and Wolfie. You have been turning around each other for way too long.

A: We... We're not together. I told him I didn't want to see him again. I didn't intend for it to happen; and I don't wanna lead him on. And I love Ki. (starts sobbing) I love him so much.

T: He's a wanker! And don't tell me to shut up, Riri, you know he is. You know how he is with Alfie. And he still follows me everywhere on campus like a lost puppy any chance he gets. He's the last person that should be jealous.

A: But he never cheated. I'm the prick who did.

M: Honey... You know that your relationship was toxic, right? You did good leaving him, even if it's hard.

A: He has problems, but he means well. God... What did I do? Why did I left him? I love him.

T: And he doesn't love you.

A: He does.

M: No, Tabi's right. He loves the idea of you. Of not being alone. Of being able to control you.

A: He's not that bad. (takes his phone out, looks at his screen background) Look how happy we were. I should call him. Tell him that I regret everything, that I didn't mean it. We should go back together.

T: You do that, and I turn him into a worm, then squash him.

A: (tentative laugh) You won't because Grandma would kill you for using magic. You know she hates that.

T: I'm an adult, I can kill anyone I want, using any method I want, including magic.

M: I'm preeetty sure you can't kill people. Nor should. Ever.

T: I can if they are arseholes that treat my nephew like shite. But, yeah, I should wait until I left home before using magic freely.

A: Or you could just, you know, not kill my boyf... my ex. (cries some more)

T: Just turn him into a worm, or a very gross spider, then?

Alfie smiles sadly at his aunt stupid obsession with turning people into various creepers.

A: No. Just leave him alone. Like I said, I'm the one at fault.

M: Stop that, Alfie. You're not responsible - not entirely. OK, you shouldn't have slept with Wolfgang, but Kiyoshi has been treated you like shit for a long time. And were you the one to ask him to beat up Wolfgang?

A: Of course not!

M: Exactly. So how is it your fault? You did good to leave. I know you hurt right now, but it's for the best.

A: Doesn't feel like it.

M: It never does. But as time passes, you'll see that it really is. And you're not even 20 yet; you'll find love again. And this time it'll be a healthy relationship. I promise you. Because I might be against killing Kiyoshi, but the next man who hurt you, I might not let go as easily.

T: Look at, you, Riri! Threatening people! I'm so proud of you.

A: Will I really be alright?

M: Yes, honey, you'll be. Just give it time.

Alfie looks once more at his phone, teary-eyed.

A: We really did look happy.

#ts4 #the sims 4 #oc: alfie dubois #oc: marie dubois #oc: tabitha patton #so yeah tabi is magical #so are agena and alfie; though they don't use it #(mainly because they suck at it) #(or just to make some potions once in a while) #magic's the reason carol left agena's father (and agena herself) #because she was scared of it #turns out her own mother was born in a magical family #but isn't magical herself and never talked about it with carol #story: all that we are and will never be #render

[dreamwritesimagines]

It’s CMA-

I’m already planning to yell at you and I haven’t even started the chapter yet. in preparation: DREAM WHAT THE FUCK. Okay now that that’s out of the way, im going to go read it.

Ugh I hate her dad so much.

Aw sister bonding! And their aunt and uncle being protective; you love to see it.

I don’t love the idea that Josie thinks that part of the reason clover got married is to protect herself from their parents because I’m worried she’ll say that to Benedict and crush him. I mean he already thinks that she’s only with him to avoid angering the ton but still.

FUCK CLOVER DONT LIE TO HIM. YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM!!!!!!!!!! DONT TRY TO PROTECT HIS FEELINGS PROTECT YOURSELF. Ugh Ben is going to be so upset when he finds out.

Going from holding her own wrist out of fear to squeezing his for reassurance (for his or hers, I couldn’t really say). I love the thought that instead of squeezing hands or whatever they squeeze each other’s wrists. The entire concept is so poetic I just-

SCREAMING FUCK CLOVER NO FUCK NO FUCK NO FUCK NO FUCK NO FUCK NO NO NO NO DONT SELF DESTRUCT FUCK FUCK FUCK

(I am hoping and praying that she has more of the seeds somewhere but I am so scared. This is going to crush Ben and her when she realizes what she’s done)

I wonder if instead of a party, it was a nice dinner for the two of them because he noticed she was sad….

Fuckkkk Ben didn’t come home?????? This is so devastating dream fuck no. I’m not even done reading and I’m already screaming for the next chapter

Shit she’s tearing him apart. Holy fuck clover I get that you’re stressed but for the love of god shut the fuck up.

Look I love to commend you for your ability to write drama and emotional scenes without making it a soap opera which is still definitely the case, but this is so much worse than a soap opera. This feels like being personally stabbed in the gut over and over and over again.

This is painful and raw and personal and emotional and tragic. My heart is absolutely aching for them right now. And the absolute whiplash that Ben went through………. He’s going to be a wreck

I actually think that contrary to what clover thinks that he will actually stop creating art because he’ll be too upset, which I think would be a really interesting twist. Instead of the pain she causes being the reason for her art, she’ll have to realize that it’s because of the joy she brings to his life.

And it’s true that by any measure he’s had an easier life than her, but to say that his pain and suffering isn’t just as valid is so cruel and invalidating; suffering is not a competition.

Also Ben has been through a lot. Besides the obvious part of his dad dying, he’s constantly being told how he’s the spare, how he’s second string and not as important.

He’s being told that how he loves his life doesn’t really matter compared to Anthony. He’s like the personification of the ‘nothing matters (/pos) vs nothing matters (/neg)’. I’m sure he’s struggled with the latter at some points as well. Even when he’s come to terms with it, there are still moments like when Anthony went to the duel where he has a crisis of faith.

Ugh idk why you said we might be mad at Ben…. Maybe in future chapters but def not this one. I can exactly blame clover but I’m kind of going to blame clover….

CMA hi darliiiing! ❤️

Lolll oh I knew you would be yelling at me for sure 😂

Josie and Clover will always be there for each other❤️ So will their aunt and uncle ❤️

Oh I don't think Josie thinks that or will tell Benedict that, no worries🥰 She thinks Clover married for love, but still thinks it's also an advantage that she married especially now that her parents can't drag her back to their home 😏

Squeezing wrist thing yeeees! ❤️ It's their way of holding hands and it'll be adorable 🥰

I think she planted all the seeds in the vase actually 😏 Buuut will the gardener throw the vase away? 😏 Or will he keep it?😁

Nopeeee, he was too busy partying so he didn't come home 😈

Clover did NOT hold back 💔

Omg darliiiing this is so sweet of you! ❤️ I really enjoy angst and it's wonderful to hear that I could reflect those emotions ❤️😍

That would definitely be an interesting twist and it would shock Clover! 😱

And it’s true that by any measure he’s had an easier life than her, but to say that his pain and suffering isn’t just as valid is so cruel and invalidating; suffering is not a competition. This is so true!

But Clover thinks it is 😏 That's what she told Benedict about her and Josie's childhood, how Josie had it worse than her 💔 So I think she made herself believe it, and now that she snapped, she ended up saying all that to Benedict 💔

And that's another thing Clover needs to realize, that Benedict's life wasn't "perfect" even if it looked like it was ❤️

They will both be so so heartbroken in the next chapter 😏😈

Thank you so so much for this! ❤️❤️❤️

[thegeminisage]

please allow me to describe this fuck of a situation. my mom & i are cleaning out our "storage unit" so we can have a "black friday" "yard sale" out of it. we have two or three giant tubs worth of hangers. once you become a boring adult you realize that hangers, like cardboard boxes, come in tiers, and these are Extremely Nice Hangers. we don't need them but we don't want to trash them (and also we can't have anywhere to throw all that away except the dump) so we decided to donate them to the hospice store.

being that secondhanded businesses are likely to get inundated with hangers they don't need (see: exhibit a: us) when the employee came out i asked her if they were ok with taking hangers. said she, enthusiastically: yeah, we can always use hangers! we just can't take the wire ones. and we (my aunt and i, thank GOD my mother wasn't there) were like, ok. fair enough. so we begin SORTING THE HANGERS. which we had hoped to avoid doing - we wanted to drop them off and let the employees sort them! but maybe that would've been a dick move, so, ok, we'll do it. this girl brings us a basket and everything and says we can take as much time as we need even though we're in the spot where people are supposed to only park for a sec to donate shit. she is SUPER nice.

we stand there sorting hangers for almost 20 minutes of our lives that we will never get back before The Manager makes her appearance.

my mom has had dealings with The Manager in the past, which is part of the reason she wasn't here. a long time ago my mom (an avid collector of lighthouses) saw a lighthouse clock she really loved that only had half a price sticker. she took it to the register to ask how much, and The Manager told her all items had to be taken back to the back to be priced before they could be sold, even though this one clearly had been already. so my mom was like, ok, fine. i'll come back tomorrow and buy it then. she came back every day for a week asking about the clock, only to be snippily told it was still being priced. finally one of the employees took pity on her and informed her that the manager had taken the clock home that very day and my mother would never get her hands on it, and my mom vowed to never buy or donate anything there ever again. until: we had a bunch of hangers and its literally the only secondhand store in our entire town.

so the Manager tells us that they do not take hangers at all whatsoever. after we have gotten them halfway sorted and organized and packed neatly into this shopping cart. after we have been standing here for 20 minutes WORKING on it. and we're like, but the employee just told us you did. and she's like, yes well she is new. we do not. sorry! and she began "helping" us take the hangers out of the cart and putting them back into the trunk, ruining our careful sorting we had only done at THEIR BEHEST. i was like, we got it, thanks, and she kept doing it, and i was like seriously, we got it, and had we not run out of hangers for her to put her wretched little hands on, had i had to ask her a THIRD TIME, i truly was, despite my anxiety disorder, about to pull a karen on that bitch. if theyre our hangers theyre our hangers so dont TOUCH. our fucking stuff.

anyway now i have a trunk full of hangers with literally nowhere in town to put them (the only other charity store is goodwill, in laurens, and the dump is also in laurens), and wasted 20 minutes of my life so that some SNAKE whose ONLY taste of authority or meaning in her life comes from a secondhand store in a kudzu-covered shithole in south carolina could feel the brief warmth of smug superiority against her cold dead soulless heart. i fucking hate the holidays

#personal #AGAIN. NOT TO DISPARAGE. PUBLIC SERVICE WORKERS. BUT FOR WHAT REASON DID SHE HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT #at the VERY least she could have let us put the hangers back in the car NEATLY. FUCK you #i almost regret not cussing her out to her face #god and now i have to inform my MOTHER of this #and she will lose her shit #and also retell the lighthouse story one zillion times #i need one of you to come and kill me

[khaleesiofalicante]

Not exactly a quote but I think you would love it anyway: "A writer is just someone who forces what's living in their head to pay rent"

Do you think its ok to make me cry at 2 a.m with this??? 😭😭I told my family I had a headache and I wanted to go to sleep earlier, then I started reading this chapter and I didnt even think I would finish it bc I was actually sleepy...

And the last thing I knew was me crying at the end of this jdhdjdjdks

Dont worry, I didnt have classes today!! Yey!!

I kneel before one godness and that is Jia Penhallow 😌

"I’m here for you, Alec. Maybe not in all the ways you expect me. But I’m still here.” I mean it does feels great seeing him try..

And Alec is a fixer. He just needs to know what’s wrong so he can fix it. The parallel to this and Magnus saying he would hate if Alec thinks he needs to fix him... SCREAMING

The effortless love between them.💙💙💙

“Are you sure?” Magnus asks. “It worked on the senator’s son.” I mean... He is not wrong...

Jace is so in love kdhdkdjdodk

The florist be like: Something lgbt just happened to me...

I'm love my two in love dumbasses but the 'I’ll make it worth it. I promise' is just🥺🥺🥺

Because apparently, you can't just draw shapes and shit on their little faces. They want specific shit.  No shit Sherlock!!!

“You look like a butterfly.” She gasps at that. “Really?” “Really,” Alec grins. “You wanna fly?” NOT ME CRYING OVER THIS 😭😭 ITS SO ADORABLE BUT I ALSO FEEL SAD JDJDKDJK

“You are the opposite of manageable,” Shut up Alec, you love her!!!

Luca is so wise ngl. Also I love how, even tho it was really hard, Magnus did put his health first and knew that he wasn’t in the right headspace to get a baby. I will protect this man ok?!?

"The issue is not knowing where to draw the line. The issue is not understanding where they stop and where you begin.” THIS>>>

The reason of him wearing glasses😭😭

Clary 🤝 me.

Our love for wine :)

"We need to find a short lady! Like Aunt Clary." poor Clary putting up with all of their jokes jdhsjsj

“I like the name Brooke,” David smiles and then gasps dramatically. “What if she can’t pronounce the letter R and calls herself Book? We have a baby called Book!”

Max giggles at that. “You’re cute.”

David bops his nose. “You’re cuter.”

“You know,” Clary says. “If those two don’t get together when they are older, Jace might throw a fit.”

MY HEART CANT HANDLE THIS OK??? SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP😭

Clace rights only😎

I thought this was like when they were still kids but then the trip to South Africa was mentioned and I realized the were older and that the divorce is not so far away and I wanted to scream and-

"Do none of you know how genetics and reproduction work?” soryy Rafe, I skipped those classes... it wasn’t my fault!! they were boring!!

Mavid>>>>

“We tell them the truth,” Magnus replies. “And hope they understand. Otherwise, we have failed as parents.” EXACTLY THIS

I hate the damage control the have to do😭

They are not punishing them. They are mourning. Mourning someone who doesn’t exist. Mourning someone they never met. Am I crying? Yes. But I think we all did..

“Bapak is sorry." Holy shit this line was the one that hurted the most😭😭😭

All the videos he is watching are making me emo🥺🥺 the one with the water fight, THE ONE WITH MAX AND DAVID, THE TIKTOK CHALLENGE HOLY SHIT💙💙💙

We stan Elyaas. Just a friendly reminder

“Great,” Alec grins. “So, I thought I’d share some things with you that I find very sexy.”

“Magnus Bane!” someone yells.

“Magnus Lightwood-Bane,” Alec corrects with a wink. “And yes, my husband will always be on top of that list. But let’s talk about some other stuff.”

THIS MAN ISTG-

YES. WE NEED TO GIVE A FUCK!!!

Not him rewinding the video to Magnus Lightwood-Bane🥺🥺

Peter and Asmodeus are both pieces of shit!!!

It’s easier for him to love himself when he knows someone else is doing it too. I relate a little to much to this quote...

“Someone once told me the right man won’t care,” JEM AND TESSA, JEM AND TESSA, JEM-

The endless love they find within each other to give to their children. Why does this Timeline feels so nostalgic?? 🥺🥺

“There are parents who try to do better and there are parents who don’t. That’s it." Louder for everyone to hear!!!!

“Edom is my Alexander.” You really cant love more than this, huh??

“It wasn’t that bad,” she smiles. “I had a friend who came with me for moral support.”

“Ah,” Magnus says. “I hear he is dashing.”

“More like deranged,” she corrects.

Dont @ me but I love their dynamic ok?!?! Their friendship is kinda unique but it really is beautiful💙

Song rec: In The Stars by Benson Boone. Kinda tlnd Malec vibes but also lbaf malec vibes when Alec dies

Ilyy. Byeee💚

Lmao the song rec 😂😂😭😭😭😭😭 (literally)

Here is a tiktok for you. When Rafe finds out about mavid 🤭

#tlnd #I loved the quote it made me very 😎😎😎

[gayseyjones]

Top 5 vocaloids by character and then top 5 by voice

kissing you on the mouth for this ask

character

5. meiko I'm obsessed w "awful drunk aunt who tries her best but she's just a walking disaster of a woman" like that pic someone drew of her comforting rin by wiping tears out of her eyes but accidentally burning her face bc she was cutting spicy peppers. also this gif

4. kaito. that's my sopping wet cat. I think he's the most pathetic excuse of a man youve ever met but like meiko he also tries his best he's mikus well meaning older brother hes the victim of 90% of the kagamine's pranks he screams like a girl etc and I want him carnally.

3. VFLOWERRRRRRR they're a nby lesbian so deeply in my heart I know this for a fact they're autistic they kind of suck at singing but it's okay I love them. I can't stand the meme squad interpretation of their character (I can't stand meme squad in general get that devil shit out of my face) I don't think they're unnecessarily rude or hate everyone or anything like that I think they can be a little mean but it's usually moreso just being 1. blunt 2. sick of everyone's shit (usually kaito) they love their friends very much even if they can't show it the best and they're dating yukari godbless ♥️

2. I hc miku una & yukari as siblings and specifically for una I think she's like. awful. bc she's the youngest and 9 years old she's a total bastard to miku however it's mostly bc she really does look up to her and aspires to be like her but also she steals mikus hair dye for herself and makes a mess of her makeup and uses her speakers to blast her awful pop music and regularly tackles miku just completely full body slams her

1. the queen herself miku oh my god. she's literally that post like "I'm god's favorite princess I'm the virgin mary I'll never die" I think she's actually insane. her middle child complex was so strong she ended up becoming the number one idol in the whole world and I'm proud of her ♥️ despite this she is still very insecure and unsure of herself and regularly clings onto rin sobbing "MY 9 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN SING BETTER THAN ME" (see: cillia's una cover of shake it) she's also so disabled. good lird

okay vocals wise

5. len :) he's on the easier side to tune and I really love his voice, it has decent range though he definitely works best in lower tones and his appends are all very nice. he's my best friend and when it comes to specific producers dasu tunes him incredibly

4. vflower BUT. Only in vocametal. they have such a strong powerful kind of messy voice and yet it's used for like. trashy pop and lighthearted songs like utsup is the only one that understands their voice. especially metal screaming GOD DAMNNNNN IT SOUNDS SO GOOD ON THEM

3. miss miku herself once again her voice is very very dynamic and though she's on the harder side to tune, once you get the hang of it it sounds incredible. her range is great like the difference between like. toa's tuning and rishiep's tuning for example is incredible. no one does it like my girl

2. GUMIIIII GOOD LIRD giga & kira especially tune her so fucking well it helps that she has an insane amount of voice banks and appends but genuinely her voice has so much weight to it and it can literally be used for ANYTHING without drawbacks it's incredible. I haven't used her myself but I've heard she's easy to tune so that's a bonus

1. una. holy shit. she only has 2 voicebanks (not including voiceroid) but jesus FUCKING christ her voice is insane. AND SHES SURPRISINGLY EASY TO TUNE?? genuinely if anyone is ever considering using vocaloid I can't recommend una enough she's so easy to tune if you're a beginner and her range is INCREDIBLE. where would we be without her

#💖 #long post #sorry . I really like vocaloid

[kazewhara]

How about, coral for the event? :D

pink asks!

coral — what is something you're passionate about?

now, i could say kazuha... i could. but i'll say piano instead! i started playing piano when i was.. four years old? and at the time, it was okay-ish, y'know? my aunt was kinda forcing me to do it and she was strict whenever she made me practice, but i still remember how excited i was when i was able to play with two hands for the first time... i remember that very, very clearly -- i think i was about five? and when my aunt came to pick me up, i was so excited to show her. they had to pry me away from the piano that day i think 😭

but when i was about 11, i stopped because of an inferiority complex. i would get pissed at my teacher, get in trouble with my aunt.. i hated piano because everyone was so much better at it than me, and by that point, i'd been doing it for 7 years. BUUUT on my 18th? 19th? birthday (can't remember), i asked for a piano and my parents got me a full keyboard with lightly weighted keys!

i cannot even begin to explain the feeling. i'm still not a fluid player by any means and i'm still fucking up reading and tempo, but god, piano is so... it's almost cathartic. my hands have memorized the keys and i've memorized notes, key signatures, and melodies and all that... it's like coming home, i guess. playing at my own pace puts me at ease. it's at the point where i can feel my fingers getting stiff when i haven't played for a while. it's... actually the only thing i actually allow myself to enjoy without guilt.

sorry for the dump ;;;

#z anon #piano just means so much to me #music as a whole means SO fucking much to me #...maybe i'll play actually.. #yeah i'm gonna go play rn.

[ram-de]

[read] ravensong thoughts vomit (pt. 3)

the post is too long so i made another

FIRST OF ALL. WHY. WHY WHY IS THE BOOK TRYING SO HARD TO MAKE ME FEEL SORRY FOR THOMAS?? Mr klune can you stop mentioning how oh Thomas did it for good or Thomas regretted it or Thomas really wanted to do right. I'm so sick of it. Because he's doing it for good reason (it's not) then suddenly he's absolved of all the wrong, the hurt, the pain he caused to Gordo? Get the hell out. I hate it here.

Ermmmmm this feel like a copout... I'll stop being a downer and just read

I think the book is very long

I'm losing the enthusiasm I'm sorry I took a break hsgshsjsh

Fucking Thomas again. I'm. 😮‍💨 Can't he just be put in like limbos for alpha until he repent. HOW COME HES LIKE IN WOLF HAVEN STOP IT

Fucking Elizabeth. Is this really the time to do a gotcha moment. I'm. 😮‍💨 OK SHE'S HIS WIFE. alright. Whatever. Biased. OK. I'LL STOP. BEING BITTER. YEAY! Closure acquired!

Is it me or Alpha Bennett (THE GOOD ONE AND BY THAT I MEAN JOE NOT THE PRICKASS THOMAS) is getting sidelined. What I said about ox shgsjsjs he's truly the protagonist of the story. The chosen one. Human Alpha, Alpha of the Omegas, what other power-up will he gets in the next book

WHY AM I COMPLAINING the story tension is on all time high and I'm not really invested in the... Fuck ass Thomas plot so other things was buried under... I'm sorry my son (one-handed) gordo...

AUSGHJ I NEED MEREDITH TO dye her hair green so we all can feel relief

Until this point I still can't feel the... What's the term... The... AHHH I'M FORGETTING WORDS.... Like. The actual stake here. Never mind. I'll try it again later.

The book is very long

Meredith chuuni's monologue is very long

FUCK ME MORE MEREDITH MONOLOGUE

I swear I can read... I just need... Line break... 😭😭😭

Elijah didn’t recoil. If anything, that made her angry. “But we couldn’t take them all. I watched as my family fell around me. I saw their skin tear. I heard their screams. I was a child, but I saw it all from the trees.” A tear fell from her eye and onto the knotted tissue of the scar on her face. “My family. Aunts and uncles. Cousins. People who believed such as I did. The wolves didn’t know I was there. The blood was too thick in the air for them to notice me. My father, he…lost his way, after that. He didn’t understand why God had forsaken him. Why he had abandoned us when we needed him most. Fucking words on pages in like three pages ranting about fuckshit referencing Bibles and Meredith King being all righteous and stuff while she never pause LIKE I FUCKING GET IT!! YOU'RE A FREAK!! SHOUTING MORALS WHILE KILLING INNOCENTS ALRIGHT!! I GET IT. STOP!!"

THIS GOES ON FOR THREE. FUCKING. PAGES. NO LINE BREAKS. MY EYE HURTS.

ELIJAH TALKING HER ASS OF BEING A REASON THE PEOPLES ARE SAFE IM. Ok that makes it a little bit better. Fuck u Elijah for talking.

Strangely I don't mind if ox talks long ass paragraph. I love him he's my son. he used to be so quiet and now look at him speaking for two pages long :') my son

I will suppress my resentment to how happy go lucky easy the problem just because it's over. IT'S SO DRAGGED.... FOR HUNDRED OF PAGES...

TJ KLUNE YOU CANT END THE STORY WITHOUT MAKING GORDO RELIVING HIS PAIN HUH. AGAIN? THIS IS TOO MUCH???

...by the time I read the epilogue I'm just...

:-( I know I complained a lot but the ending... It's not really fulfilling. It's more to a prelude to the third book and I know, I know, this is an interconnected series. I just wish I, what? Got to see more of Gordo and Mark post-reconciliation. Last third of the book spent Mark being an omega. He barely talks except gordogordogordo MatePackLove... Felt like the second half is dragged. Too many subplots (which? Not a lot solved?), and the one that they decided to focus, the Elijah plot, I ended up snoozing. I love love love Gordo though I think this might be a torture book with how long he's portrayed to be hurting and broken. I love love love Mark of his devotion and honesty. Individually I love them both but paired up I wish they had more time to reconcile. For Mark to properly apologizes and pamper Gordo with more love to make time.

I know I always will side with Gordo, because he is so raw as a character. His pain, his hurting, it's just so emotional to me. The first half? Of the book is what I loved the most. The tidbits of Gordo's memories, switching up to Gordo bonding with Joe, Carter and Kelly. Other character, man, the Team Humans really shine. The bar scene still cracks me up when I think about it. What else. Ahh...

I'll rant about other things instead. I'm a bit baffled that when Mark and Carter were infected, the whole pack, heavily on Gordo promised to find a way for that problem. Issue is, I don't really think they delve a lot into what they're doing? The research? The progress? Because there's also the problem of Elijah, ok. But suddenly, Gordo, thought the way was to... Mate? And I was, ok. Sure. What about Carter? He can't be mating to his tether. It's like... Have you really done anything, Gordo...?

Its my opinion but it's not really, satisfying? In Wolfsong, even though I still think the ending part needs to be longer, it pushes me to "I want to read more!" hence, I'm here. But for Ravensong, it's a bit... There's too much going on. World building, and all. I don't like how proper apologies are barely presence, from Thomas and Mark, and to an extent Elizabeth too. This bothers me a lot. But I ranted too much about it already. I'll stop.

Actually I won't stop. I hate hate hate that they're pushing Gordo, the one that they left to eventually patch things up. Where's. The. Proper. Apologies. Now that I think about it if I'm looking at this book as a typical second-chance stories I usually read, I will say that the groveling isn't done well. Fuck Thomas Bennett. And they still. Tried to portray him in a good light even after death? I fucking hate anything Thomas related.

I'm super, super excited for Kelly and Robbie's book. But I don't know? Finishing Ravensong is a bit of a letdown... Maybe because I expected more like like that of Wolfsong?

Why does this turned into a rant post idk but. Yeah, I don't really enjoy is as much as Wolfsong. I still love the characters (except Thomas), I just... Aaah guess I'll read Book 3 later. When I'm over this, unsatisfactory post-reading experience.

#Ravensong #readingrams #is that it? #Rant post

[tea-drops]

argued a lot with mom yesterday. Mostly about how mental health can be just as physically debilitating as physical health conditions. She got really angry (which was kinda funny-) whenever I rephrased he statements about my mental health to do with her physical one. I kept trying to change the subject back to tea (as she made a VERY sarcastic comment about 'well i don't know if you'll be mentally able to go out tomorrow') but she kept going back to the argument. Tried descalating multiple times too but she kept at it. She stayed all huffy the rest of the night

When she starts getting huffy and angry I know I'm right. Mental health can be just as awful and stop someone from going out just as much as physical health. And if she has a problem when I pretty much rephrase or fire back her statements like :

'your mental health doesn't mean you're not able to go out. you're on medication to fix that' to 'your physical health doesn't mean you can't go out. you're on medication to fix that.'

kinda funny that she has double standards, says 'mental health is no less than physical health conditions' but still says this AND worked in a psych ward? Then again though she ended up marrying the mentally ill deadbeat and had me and gave me slews of issues. So I don't know if she's really in the target demographic for 'thinking about her actions and words'.

That and she keeps trying to shame me for being a system. Keeps saying shit like 'oh you can just say one of your little friends in your head said all these mean things to me and just say you forgot you said them' no. Almost all of us hate you. Some of us like to try and keep things civil. I didn't tell her that. Just tried to reinforce the fact that nothing has changed other than her now knowing that someone else said those harsh words and I don't remember it. That nothing's changed because even before this I've still forgotten what we've said but just not explained it to you. Stop trying to make out that we're all assholes and hostile and use our system against you. We don't. All the time we own up to our actions. we say sorry countlessly. We always try and make things up to you. And even when we were younger the words 'sorry' for hurting us never left your fucking mouth. for making us cry because we mess up something so minor. for continuing arguments when we're trying to change the subject.

Sometimes we're good, and the memory fog's settled in. I don't know why I hate you. But then I look back on stuff like this. And god the things you do make me insane, woman. It's so hard for me to trust cis women now, seriously it's insane. I'm so scared around them, can hear her in the back of my head (delusionally speaking- we're very acute on checking members) whenever women look at me and I'm terrified. I think they're watching me, judging me, wanting me to fail and slip up so they can berate me. The only positive woman I can barely trust (and even then I'm scared to ask her things) is my aunt. who knew she'd be sisters with that beast if you talked to them both.

Anyway im still pissed, i've blocked her on my phone, she's bound to bring it up when she tries to message me but one of the reasons I don't fucking charge it is BECAUSE she messages me and calls me non-stop. Plus she doesn't even call the body by it's name or bother with learning our names. So. Yeah its really REALLY dysphoria enducing to see that name over and over again, especially because she still screams it down the halls and told our new neighbours our name was our deadname. that's embarassing as hell. I've not had the heart to tell them our name's Jay.

My body hurts a lot, I'm being told theo watched Sweet Tooth with our friend for hours on end last night. til 3am. Good for him but bad for me I guess as I remember coming into co for the end of the night and asking why mom was being all annoyed about me (an adult-) staying up late when I told her it was the last time I'd be talking to my friend for a few weeks as they're going on a trip. She got even more huffy at that.

#-william #i had a little cry writing this #i think it's good to get these feelings off my chest. #therapy isn't for me; I don't trust people with my emotions well #but a lone blog on the internet? where I can vent out and ramble my thoughts and feelings? #yeah #this blog space won't ask me the countless things I've tried to burn down tension #and I'm not going to roll over and die and just submit to her in arguments when it makes my life a misery. #i don't want to leave her alone #debilitated and probably going to starve to death. so I'm going to fucking survive. #besides #in this economy? an autistc fuck who can't hold conversation with most women? how am I going to get a fucking job? #especially when I have litearlly zero money to be able to travel by bus to further jobs. #you know as such a 'kind' woman she is. you'd think for the first week or month until i get payed #she'd give me money to travel basic bus fair to a job #and i'd be able to look for jobs that aren't in a doable walking distance #but no. #okay vent over im going to go make a fucking sandwich and cool off.