#god im so tired. ugh.

[orcelito]

i can never show my face to my peers again

#speculation nation #DONT LOOK AT MEEEEE i am so sorry #me just staring at this having no real idea how to do the fucking. image file transfer. much less Threading. #i do have the if statements set up. that's basic coding though. #im just very sleepy and i have only 2.5 more hours and i need to have the images set up at the MINIMUM #bc that's the core function of this. the threading doesnt necessarily matter. it's the Images that decide it #god im so tired. ugh. #whose bright idea was it to save this to the last minute and then pull an all nighter #and then not even use the all nighter to work on their code? #oh right. it was me. #what did i do instead? Well. talk about my fanfiction. plan about my fanfiction. reread my fanfiction. talk about my fanfiction some more. #trigun U have done bad things to my brain. very bad things. i am deceased. perished. dead on the side of 70 #floating face down in the bog. im duck food now. #responsibility is only a facet of a dream for me. and i am oh so tired.

[arcanegifs]

ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 1x08 - "Oil and Water"

#arcaneedit #netflixedit #animationedit #arcane vi #arcane #vi #arcane league of legends #league of legends arcane #vi arcane #media: arcane #type: gif #s1 ep8 #testing my upscaled 4k arcane videos #god its kinda hard to splice the videos skdjfksf idk if im making all my gifs using the 4k base bc it takes too long to do ngl #but 4k is so much better for gifs ugh #i'll just experiment for a while #the coloring is so bad skdjksdf but its 3am and i am tired

[dawnbreakersgaze]

Excuse me but the idea of MC and Xav sitting on their respective balconies and texting each other The Tea while people watching in their neighborhood is both so silly and so endearing to me.

So let's go on a small adventure, shall we?

Warnings: None.

Just fluff. Pure, unadulterated fluff.

The late morning sun was already warming you through the windows of your tiny apartment before you'd even stepped foot outside. It was finally mid-spring in Linkon, which meant you could enjoy your late breakfast on the patio without having to worry about a stray chill or errant frost dampening your weekly Saturday 'brunch' plans.

Opening the patio door with your granola bar in one hand and phone in the other, you settle into the cushioned bench that overlooked your apartment courtyard and took a deep breath. Sometimes it felt like winter was neverending in Linkon, but you could finally feel the tension of the gripping cold that had settled in your bones start to slowly bleed from you.

After getting comfortable, you finally pulled out your phone, and quickly found your brunch 'date's' contact info, sending him the customary "Get up it's people watching hour" text.

[Hey Xav, you up? I'm already on my balcony?]

It doesn't take long for his reply. This has been your weekly tradition for a few months now. Ever since you had both just so happened to see that kid getting dragged down the street by the monstrous hound, it had become something of a... habit for the two of you to text each other the funny happenings on your street when you were home. Not that either of you were particularly prone to gossip, but the simple domesticity of it was oddly comforting after a long week of getting slogged on by wanderers.

[Yeah I'm up. Give me a sec]

The soft ping of your notification broke the peace, followed shortly by the shuffling of his patio door sliding open from above you. Sure, you could simply call out and greet him, as the acoustics out here are great and the soundproofing is atrocious, but the silence is cozy, and the atmosphere almost feels magical. This is your ritual, after all.

It's a bit like a storybook scene, you think, the two of you sharing a moment in time together yet still separated by some outside force. Maybe it was silly, but the fabricated longing almost made it feel romantic in a way that you're sure your neighbor would find ridiculous.

When you hear his footsteps above you come to a halt, you immediately notice something in particular is missing, however.

[You forgot your coffee Xav. Are you gonna be able to stay awake?]

[How could U tell?]

[I didn't smell any burning 🤭🔥]

He doesn't reply, but you can hear the huff he makes over the railing as his footsteps retreat, fading behind the sliding door once again. You don't even try to hold back the laughter his reaction elicits from you, hopeful the concrete carries it to him easily.

When he finally does reemerge, faint smell of bitter charred beans on the wind, his phone is already buzzing with the morning's newest additions to your people watching portfolios.

An older man you'd long ago dubbed "Green Thumb" who liked to frequent the flower garden outside your apartment complex was already taking photos of the new stargazer lily blossoms that had just opened this morning. So enamored by the vibrant petals, he didn't even seem to notice the couple he'd backed into who'd happened to spill their groceries all over the sidewalk. You heard Xavier call "Watch out!" From above you when he'd recognized the impending impact, but at your distance, it was no use.

[That was nice of you Xav. Too bad it didn't help 🫠]

[I can't believe they didn't see Green Thumb. He was so hard to miss. Even when Ur distracted U still see better]

[HEY! I'm not the one who sleep walks! 💀]

[And yet I'm always there to guard Ur back partner]

He's right of course, though you're not going to tell him. Xavier likes to play the part of a soft and harmless little thing, but it doesn't take much to stoke the hunter into burning hotter than you intended. His evol might be light, but you know better than anyone that light, under careful concentration, can start a blazing fire if you're not mindful. His teasing isn't ever harmful though, so instead you decide to simply poke the bear.

[Only because I'm starting to suspect you like it back there]

The distinct sound of a phone accidentally hitting the concrete marks the end of that thread.

Its not long before another of your regulars, pair of young kids Xavier had called the Trouble Twins arrived on scene. Aptly named for the number of times their poor mother has chastised them for chasing the ducks and picking the flowers, the siblings were quite the rambunctious duo. Today they seem to be a few steps ahead of their vigilant mother, rushing into the park with high-pitched hollers and improvised swords made of small branches they'd found. Today's unfortunate conquest seemed to be the pigeons that were being fed by the local grannies.

[They look like a pair of knights today don't they?]

[Knights? Don't knights usually protect people?]

[Maybe they're protecting us from the pigeons]

[Xavier those old ladies look pretty mad idk. That one even tried to chase the boy and almost caught him!]

The pause in messages was punctuated by his soft laughter above you, carried on the spring breeze. It was so warm, so genuine, so comfortable. You didn't need a mirror to feel the heat bloom in your cheeks; the overwhelming sensation of ardor flooding you at the the very sound.

[You're right. He needs more training. A good Knight should never be caught by an old lady]

[.... I don't think that's the message here Xav]

The rest of your morning goes back and forth like this for another hour. Watching your favorite people pass by, concocting new and interesting stories for them as they pass your balconies. Xavier has very interesting and oddly insightful opinions on those around him, considering you don't really recall seeing him with many friends. None the less, his company and companionship on your balconies has easily become your favorite part of the week. The only noises between you are the laughter that passes back and forth as the texts volley from one to another.

Finally, as the afternoon sun starts to become an uncomfortable heat, your phone chimes once more.

[I'm getting kind of hungry]

[Oh good. You're warning me this time. Thanks!]

[What?]

[No. I was going to ask if U wanted to go to lunch. With me, I mean?]

And just like that, the storybook was snapping shut. No longer a fragment lost in time where two people gazed at the same scene together from two separate places, but a tangible moment you could step into. Something intimate and real.

Perhaps you stayed in this thought a moment too long, or your silence below him made him second guess himself, as the chime of your phone snapped you out of your daze again.

[I didn't mean to impose if U have plans]

[I know it's Ur day off too]

Fumbling with the suddenly slippery device, softly cursing, and praying he didn't hear, you quickly hammer out the only thing that's been playing in your head on repeat-

[Yes absolutely! I'd love to grab some lunch I'm starving]

[Meet me downstairs in 30?]

#look i had 3 hours of sleep and i chose to this idk why #written in a single go like a psychopath #and now im going to bed gnight ♡ #lnds #love and deepspace #lads #l&ds #love & deepspace #xavier #xavier love and deepspace #xavier lnds #xavvy baby #kay writes #this text was just too cute I had too i was over come with emotions #god why is Xavier so adorable ugh #so soft boy sometimes i love himb #also- #not proofread we die like men #sorry im Le~ tired ill edit tomorrow

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Link to The Terror, which u should watch (x)

#my head hurts but i love the terror. for me the 1st 3 episodes r so so good #but i choose episode one as the best. just gives u that terrible sinking feeling in ur gut #the last 4 episodes lose me a bit. like i lov the thematic stuff but its more fun to watch thr drama on thr boats #poor bastards. ugh god. im so tired. y do i feel worse when i get more sleep? 8hrs of sleep and i feel like garbage. my sleep debt is too #high. ill never recover. i dont even have trouble sleeping i just hate it lol #amc the terror #the terror #poll #polls

[violottie]

lesbian: breathes

everyone: but what about men? men should be part of this. this would be better if men were involved. youre not doing it right because youre not including men in this

lesbian: can i breathe? damn

#literally im so sick and tired. lesbians cant do anything or even fucking exist without you lot screaming and crying about the poor men #fuck them. ugh god. leave us alone #lesbian #lesbophobia #man hating lesbian #lgbt #lgbtq

[strawglicks]

People are already whining abt the flag on grahams plushie be for real 💀

#ohh it doesnt represent me .. ok plushies arent made to represent you it represents him #plus its being released like. right at the start of pride month . so its def related to that #god forbid people get a cute pride flag with their plushie that represents said character #‘b but what about me im not lgbt’ … take it off? #if you see a pride flag and IMMEDIATELY have an issue with it. thats uh. thats a problem! #graham is lgbt and always has been suck it up . #heres to hoping this will drive out any homophobes who are FOR SOME REASON in this community #ugh i just needed to complain a bit #its so tiring. so exhausting . im tired of ppl complaining abt how lgbt people express themselves #this isnt just an issue with the plushie this is a general thing #ESPECIALLY approaching pride month. this always happens #theres a SPIKE in homophobia bc theyre desperately trying to silence us #i just want to enjoy pride month but its so hard to bc homophobes get so much louder . #and it ends up just being. exhausting. anyway #heres to a hopefully happy pride month this year . #i just need to avoid some places .

[lunarharp]

the flash and the flood

#witch hat tag #orufrey #god this is so scrappy..ugh.. -_-'''' uagh.. ability to draw drains away when im tired..UGH..i prefer drawing soon upon waking. #i wanted the last 'page' to be them looking back at each other but im too tired..i dont think qifrey can look at anyone rn anyway. #maybe this is the first time oru seriously burnt himself. maybe this is the first time qifrey truly cried. #i think of him in this era as non-responsive and unable to process emotion correctly after all. #so qifrey taught him what fire feels like - oru taught him what it feels like to create water #i like you because you feel safe - i'm scared because the depth of this feeling is unpredictable and can hurt me. can hurt you

[desceros]

two nights of insomnia in a row have left me too dumb dumb-headed to work on symphony but i Did manage to squeeze out a pyramid head leo fic in a quick fugue state tonight. uhhh. i'm going to wait until tomorrow to post it so i can read it over and make sure it's not a hot pile of you-know-what since again, and i can't emphasize this enough, Two Nights Of Insomnia. but yeah that'll be dropping tomorrow.

and, barring physical injury slash life getting in the way, there should be a symphony update hopefully by saturday, but if not then on sunday. yeehaw

#JUST IN TIME FOR THE STARDEW UPDATE TO DROP AND FOR ME TO PLAY IT FOR A WEEK STRAIGHT YEAHHHHH #anyway. weakly gives a peace sign before falling into bed. please god please let me sleep im so tired #and before you ask yes i have like. a whole as au around this stupid pyramid head thing now. god damn it. god fuckign damn it-- #being enabled to hell and back on discord. ugh. #text tag

[snikt111]

im just so tired of him

#mordie speaks #like god. #batstans are the worst dc fans evwr oml #im just tired of bruce showing up everywhere #and all these shitty incorrect quotes that involve the characters I LIKE… and like #desecrating them for the sake of putting all this attention on bruce #and the batfam #and ugh #why do ppl like them so much #batman #bruce wayne #brucie wayne #batfam #batfam memes #dc #dc comics #how do i tag #i want ppl to see this bc im annoyed #batman…. #batman critical #i think dc sucks ass #justice league #batman stop showing up everywhere challenge #automatic fail

[skunkes]

experiencing a weird thing where im trying to go to sleep earlier (because im tired and sleepy) but i take so long to fall asleep its the exact same thing as just going to bed late...feel so hopeless and i always end up tired either way... im very big on "i can always try again tomorrow" mentality in any way it can be interpreted (interactions with others, mood, the amount of work i do etc) but its so hard to Try Again when you're always too tired to do anything...

#i rarely take naps...i tried to do so today and after the hour i gave myself to nap i still hadnt fully fallen asleep #im so sleepy and tired .... #even if i manage to get my personal required 9 hrs of sleep im tired.... #i dont get it...im so sleepy rn + am going to bed but i wont fall asleep until much later... #god. i also hate this bc you'd think being an unemployed homebody who cant leave his house wld mean Constant #Naps and Sleeping. i avg like 6 hrs a night i cant imagine how worse off ill be with a job #i just want to sleep...! #and feel well rested... #talkys #sorry im just very frustrated...i try to do things to better my life and health and it ends up Not Working #like whats even the point. can barely keep my eyes open but i wont fall asleep until 5 am. why not just #go to bed at 5 am then. ugh.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#so my mom's wake thing was today and that was a lot. not in an emotional sense but in a im standing here talking for 3hrs #to ppl i dont kno or barely kno. ya kno? but it was good bc so many ppl showed up to talk abt her #so many people. my mom made a huge impact on the school system. so many ppl relied on her. she encouraged at least 2 ppl to get their #master. for one person to specilize in helping the dyslexic after her experience advocating for 3 dyslexic daughters. she wrote and was #awarded a 10000 dollar grant for special needs and intervention curriculum. which will affect so many lives. #everyone loved her. she's gonna get a track meet named after her and a scholarship created in her honor. #she was an amazing person and she affected a lot of lives and im glad she was my mom. and she raised at least one jem in my littlest #sister who is so sweet and is a great teacher. god but there was some weird stuff too. were pretty sure her old boss was in love with her. #and there were some weird comments abt her being a strong woman or this woman doing so much and its like hm y do i detect a note of sexism #y not say she was an amazing person? y the surprise? weird comments about how pretty i looked. which yes i looked great lol. my funeral fit #was cute. we did bright colors bc it was a celebration not a dower event. and im sure it was ment well but it was a lil weird. and then #everyone was telling my grandma what a great job she did raising my mom and like god fuck off she didn't do jack. my mom was great despite #her terrible mother. ugh. but altogether it was good that everyone was able to express their love for her. it was def a day that was for #them mostly. i mean partly for us but mostly for them. none of us even cried. ay but we have 2 more parties in her honor #bc everyone loved her so much we have to do one in her hometown too. plus a personal friends get together. ugh. im so tired #i wish i wasnt the most awkward. eye contact avoidant person in the room but like ya kno. what can ya do? #unrelated

[bunnihearted]

im the one society marked as avoidant yet im always the only one who wanna fucking talk things thru. y'all are a fkn joke!!! im sry but u rlly are 💀 im the avoidant one. the one scared of conflict nd afraid of talking.... yet im always the one staying and begging to talk while the other one just leaves or is a wall nd refuses to talk abt it 😹😹😹😹😹

#im sick nd tired of it #sooooo many ppl say they wanna talk #nd blah blah fucking blah #it's never ever true #!!!!! im so sick of ppl jesus fucking christ #im sick of society telling ME im the sick one the distubed one #im the one w a personality #w a personality disorder lmao*** #yet every one else are x100000 more avoidant than me #it's a joke!!!!!! absolutely fucking ridiculous #i barely have patience w ppl anymore bc all they do is blah blah blah but 1% of what they say is actually true #yeah yeah blah blah you're just wasting air atp maybe just stfu #dont say things u cant stand for #god im so fucking angry like????? why is it so hard for y'all to fucking TALK. say what u mean!! say what u wanna!!!! #talk things our instead of running away like a dumb fkn coward everytime smth gets a bit tough #or it's more like everyone have these extremely high nd uttainable expectations nd demands of u #nd if u dont live up to them suddenly you're trash nd they dont even want to talk abt things #bc you're not the perfect little thing they made up in their head #ugh fucking yikes people are so incredibly infuriating #i wish i could just find my ONE person nd then just go off nd be w them nd not bother w everyone else jfc #ok i obvi cant speelll when im angry whatever

[skullzy20]

Y'know I am so sick and tired of adults placing the highest expectations on 18 year olds to start life when they're just becoming an adult

#negative post #ventish #ugh. day got ruined because of this specific problem #i dont really post negative stuff here anymore but oh my god i am so. tired of it #just because someone's 18 doesn't need they immediately need to get a job; go to college; or get a place #its so frustrating. You shouldn't be pressuring people who are still teenagers into immediate adulthood just because they're 18 now #sorry folks. had to say something dont mind this #like my parents think im already wasting my life even though I. havent even been an adult for a year #like c'mon. seriously????

[altruistic-meme]

............ i want to come out.

#its so hard but also im so tired of this ya know??? #my parents will be back in may #and..... idk. theyll only be here for a month before theyre on the road again for another god knows how long #it was like 10 months this time that theyll have been gone #and i just....... i want to tell them #maybe this is a result of me reading heattstopper lmao #i got to the part about charlie telling his parents about his ed again and just started tearing up #but also I've BEEN wanting to come out i just think i might actually be to the point where i just. do it. #I'm still half tempted to just send the email i wrote lol #i may print it and hand it to my mom just cus i can never actually say things out loud #but also i need to talk to my sister first cus i think I'll need that back up #sigh #idk. i want to so bad. i want to try. #im so. ugh. #its like a block in my chest and i hate it #my sisters partner sent me a photo earlier of some item in bg3 bc it has my legal name #and i kniw she was sending it as a funny joke thing but just... yeah. #anyway #im just ranting as per usual lol #fuck #shh ac

[gifti3]

I was trying to do a little catch up in nightbringer

I finished lesson 20 and they like joke(?) about moving to the human world and staying at the MCs home if they cant stay in the devildom

And i just wanna seriously consider the logistics of MC trying to house 7 other people

Most of us are probably living with other people (who may not be okay with sharing a space with so many strangers suddenly) and/or dont have a giant sized place

And this is assuming the mc is staying at a house and not an apartment....

#obey me nightbringer #dont think anyone will last a day in this situation. #realistically theyre all gonna probably have to share 1 room right.... #2 if we r lucky #at my home we have an extra bedroom and a living room #and the extra room technically belongs to my grandpa when he visits from ghana so... #id be like....yall gotta come up with some human identities and find jobs so you can move into a different place #im not trying to abandon them in the human world of course #especially mammon for several reasons #but yea.... #and outside of living arrangements mc would have to teach them to live in this damn world #and navigate new social norms urghh #my head hurts thinking about it #like “noooo u cant fuckin threaten people so flippantly when they piss u off unless u wanna make my life more difficult!!” #ik they could take ppl in fight sure but god #what if they get arrested #ugh sorry my mind is just going towards all the worst case scenarios lol #anyways im gonna try to start next lesson but im already getting tired of playing these rhythm games sigh

[fatcowboys]

frustrating how fucking. disabling. being disabled is rn. im tired

#migraine buddy helpfully showed me my midas score which puts me in severely disabled bc of my migraines based on their impact #which on one hand was helpful in a sense of like. hey dude. these things fuck you up and have a huge impact and jts a thing #most peiple dont have to deal with. but also was like. god yeah i sure am and also i sure am still working full time and having to just. #work thru them and cope bc i certainly cant afford to have less money #its so fuckin i furiating being disabled in the us. i cant stop working bc then ill loose my healthcare which still costs me so much money #scream. tired. #my PA for nurtec was denied bc my ins wants me to try a diff one first #which is stupid bc like one why do u get to override my dr for your budget. #why does my healthcare need to suffer because youre cheap. you arent living with this shit. #and also the alternatives they suggested are injection based which. is scary for me as someone who used to have a terrible needle phobia #jax is able to help me w them which is good bc i know i cant give myself them (maybe could do the auto injectors but idk) #but its still so. why are u like thia. also it took u so long to deny my PA and im on no preventatives rn waiting for Something #to be approved. ugh. scream.