#bc everyone loved her so much we have to do one in her hometown too. plus a personal friends get together. ugh. im so tired | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

its-time-to-write · 10 months

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Hello! I absolutely love your work. You’re a fantastic writer. Is it possible for you to do something based a bit off of the song London Boy by Taylor Swift? If not I understand. I just feel there’s some cool way to tie it with Jamie Tartt. Sorry if it’s a bit of a generic request

ALRIGHTY gotta preface this, I actually hate this song 😂 Lyrics aren’t bad, but the like accent thing she does makes me die a little bit. BUT. I saw what you were going for (I think)! So here it is, I suffered through listening to this song bc you asked for a fic and I am nothing if not eager to please.

This is also a response to two other requests. So if that was you, ✌️😗 y’all were on the same page, congratulations. This is also my first song-based fic, although all of my works are (very, very loosely) based on songs. That’s why they have such insane titles😅 ANYWAY that’s enough talking from me. Enjoy!

i fancy you

i love my hometown as much as Motown, i love So-Cal

Richmond in London is very different from your hometown in Southern California. It’s colder, for one. And older. Things in California don’t have the same extended history as they do in England. You’re here visiting family for a couple months, although your cousins are trying to convince you to stay longer.

“What do you really have waiting for you in California?” Holland asks.

“Uh, the beach. Sun. Great Mexican food.” you respond.

Holland isn’t buying it. “When else are you going to be able to live here? We can help you get a job and all that, not a huge problem.”

Holland is very convincing. You decide to stay for a year, single year, and see what happens.

Holland is four years older than you, and has always been the cousin you’re closest to. You’ve had a long-standing bond since being the two eldest sisters in your family. Holland takes you to clubs and introduces you to her friends, including a Miss Keeley Jones who thinks you are “abso-fuckin-lutely adorable.”

“You have to bring her to a Richmond match, babes,” Keeley says. “Lots of fit footballers.” She winks.

You ask Keeley of she’s dating a footballer.

“Oh god no,” she shudders. “A coach.”

You don’t really see the difference.

saw the dimples first and then i heard the accent

It was a good match, even you can tell. The Richmond team played seamlessly, passing the ball back and forth without letting the other team even touch it. Their conductor of sorts, the one mediating the passes, was crazy. He never seemed to get tired, anticipating his teammates’ moves and those of the opposing team. It seemed like he was always five steps ahead of everyone. Holland notices you watching him and pokes Keeley.

“You like Jamie?” Keeley laughs. “Makes sense. Anyone with eyes likes him. He’s right fit, too. Good in bed, shit with feelings. Well, used to be. Still fucking cocky.”

That’s interesting. “You’ve been with him?” you ask.

Keeley gives you a 50/50 hand motion. “Sort of. Don’t really count it, do I? Was with him at his fucking worst. That’s why Roy fucking hates him.”

“He’s much better now,” Holland chimes in. “Something happened last season and he stopped being such a dick.”

“Holland!” you reproach, laughing. “That’s not nice!”

She and Keeley shrug. “It’s true though, innit?”

You don’t know if it is, because when you first see Jamie up close in the club later that night, he seems perfectly fine. You see a flash of a smile, a dimple, then he says something (you don’t know what) but his accent is… something else. It’s not like Holland’s, or any of your family, but you know enough to pinpoint it to Manchester.

“The accent got you, didn’t it?” says a voice near your ear and you yelp as Holland slides her arm around your shoulder.

“Gets the best of us,” says Keeley, grabbing your hand. “C’mon, I’ll introduce you.”

She drags you over despite your protests.

he likes my American smile, like a child when our eyes meet, ‘darling i fancy you’

Regular dinner dates are scary, but dinner dates with a Premier League footballer are downright terrifying.

You made Holland help you figure out what to wear, and when she showed up at your aunt’s house she had Keeley in tow.

“Heard you’re in need of a bit of a makeover,” she grins. “Lucky for you, that’s my specialty.”

Keeley and Holland have brought some of Holland’s dresses and you’re in a dark green one that “does fucking wonders for your hair, babe.”

Keeley did your makeup while Holland curled your hair and just like that, you’re ready to go.

You groan, “God, I fucking hate first dates,” while shaking out your arms.

“It’ll be fine,” Holland promises, and she’s right.

It’s more than fine. It’s fucking fantastic.

“I like your smile,” Jamie says. “Fuckin’ American, it is.”

You laugh. “What does that even mean?”

Jamie shrugs. “It’s bigger. Brits are more reserved. Like Roy. You met Roy yet? Biggest fucking twat I ever saw,” but he says it with such affection that you’re sure he means something else.

His eyes are electric, blue and dazzling. They betray his every thought and feeling and right now you feel like if you hold his gaze any longer you’re going to say something completely stupid.

Turns out your not the one to say something stupid; he is.

You’re walking back to his car, holding hands and swinging them in between you when he stops and says, “Darling, I fancy you.”

You grin and he returns it. He asks, “Was that British enough for you? Feel like you got the whole experience?”

“Definitely,” you say. “Was I American enough for you?”

“Dunno,” he replies, “Got to test one more thing.”

His lips are very soft on yours.

met all of his best mates, so i guess all the rumors are true

“This is Isaac, Colin, Dani, and Sam.”

Jamie is introducing you to some of his team. You’ve been dating for a month now, and your first picture together just popped up in the papers the night before.

The boys of AFC Richmond were pretty sure Jamie was seeing someone, but they didn’t know who it was. Jamie had set up this dinner thing a while ago, it just so happened that the tabloids got to you first.

It’s not even that great a picture honestly, but you’d been around Nelson Road enough that the boys were able to recognize you.

It’s a little unnerving to meet them, what with Isaac’s intense stare and Dani’s wide, wide smile. You’re grateful Colin and Sam are acting normal.

“We have an American coach,” Colin says in an attempt to break the ice. It does, because you’re all laughing at the absurdity of his attempt.

“We have heard very much about you,” Dani says and you wonder if he ever stops smiling. It feels so weird and so normal to be at Jamie’s house with a pile of food and FIFA queued up on the TV, ready to go. You figure that if you’re meeting his friends, Jamie must be at least a little serious. He finds your hand and squeezes it under the table as Isaac cracks his first smile of the night. It’s weird dating a footballer, but you think you can get used to it.

babes, don’t threaten me with a good time

Jamie’s house is the largest you’ve ever been in, and it used to be strange that it was only just the two of you, clattering around that big home.

It’s a cool night after a warm day so you both decided to lay in his backyard under the stars.

It feels so much like something you’d do as a teenager, and you tell Jamie as much.

“Used to sneak on me mum’s roof,” he tells you. “Didn’t even do dumb shit, I’d just go to look.”

You lay there in silence for a few moments until you feel something tickle your side.

“Jamie!” you shriek.

“I didn’t do nothing!” he protests. “Must’ve been a bug.”

You don’t believe him, but you don’t push it until you feel another tickle.

“Babe!”

“Babe, it weren’t me, I swear,” he says and you really don’t believe him, especially when he tickles you again less than a minute later.

You laugh. “Fuck you, Jamie Tartt.”

He smirks. “Babe, don’t threaten me with a good time.”

“Hm, maybe I want a good time.”

Jamie’s grin widens and he sits up. “You know where the bedroom is, love.”

you know i love a London boy

“I don’t fucking get it,” Jamie says. You shrug.

“I literally don’t either,” you say. Your dad leans over to Jamie. “So basically…” he begins.

He’s halfway through his explanation when Jamie pokes you. “Babe,” he says, “can we switch seats so I can hear your dad better?” You chuckle then wiggle your way into Jamie’s seat while he gets into yours.

“Why the fuck is it called ‘football’ if it’s with their hands?” Jamie asks.

Your dad shrugs. “Not a clue, son, not a clue.”

The game progresses and one of the teams scores a touchdown.

“Hold the fuck up,” Jamie says. “Why did their score change that much?”

“I know this one!” you exclaim. “Different types of goals get different points. And there’s something called a lateral which has to do with moving backward I think?”

You dad just shakes his head with a grin and doesn’t attempt to clarify.

Your dad spends the second half explaining everything to a very focused Jamie, and he asks questions the entire car ride home. It’s funny have Jamie here in America, staying at your parents house and seeing where you grew up.

When you’re finally back home and in bed, you pull him as close as you can and whisper, “I love you very, very much. You know that, right?”

You can feel Jamie smile against your hair. “I love you too, very fucking much.”

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

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chrollohearttags · 1 year

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musician eren brings y/n on the stage singing/rapping to her to a song he made about her🤭

omg this got me swinging my feet and smiling like an idiot 😭 y’all know I could write for dayssss about these two!

eren’s concerts were always a vibe. he was practically worshipped in the underground rap scene and his performances were truly where he came to life. crowd surfing, head banging..he really was a natural star. (this is the inspo behind his stage persona btw) Although each show is different and better than the last, there’s always two constants: a wild ass mosh pit and his girl (y/n) on the sidelines, screaming his lyrics to the top of your lungs. But tonight, he has a little something different in mind.

It’s the last night of the tour and y’all are back in his hometown so of course, he has to give it his all. Everybody is losing their minds because this is undoubtedly his best show and he’s really enjoyed himself. But he has something special planned and that’s a surprise for his woman. “There’s something that I wanna do here tonight..something that I could only do in my city..” speaking over the very excited crowd. See, he had proposed to you just shortly before going on tour and he felt terrible that the engagement was pushed to the side because of him so while everyone was asleep on the bus while you all went to the next city, eren was up, working as usual. He had been composing a song; working away at his laptop and making something that was very dear to him. And luckily it was ready right on time…next thing you know, you’re being escorted on the stage and everyone immediately recognizes you, even though his fanbase wasn’t your typical audience. But they welcome you with open arms regardless because they love him so much. All of you are waiting to see what he says and with your hand in his, he starts speaking:

“For those of you that don’t know, this is (y/n) (l/n), the most talented, beautiful and amazing woman I have ever met. To the world, she’s a model, a dancer..but to me? She’s my everything and shortly before I started this tour, I asked (y/n) to be my wife and by some miracle..she said yes.”

the crowd starts laughing and he cracks another joke. “Yeah, I don’t know how I pulled her either, bro cause damn..” showing you off like the trophy you were (we’re gonna say this is your fit too bc you a fly bitch at all times, okay?) you’re so flattered and just happy to be there. He goes on to tell them how you had inspired him so much and changed his life. But glaring right in your eyes, holding your hand..he becomes somewhat emotional and more vulnerable than anyone has seen him..”So this last song, I want to dedicate to my princess..my wife and the woman I can’t wait to grow old with..(y/n), I love you so much and I wanna thank you for everything you’ve done for me..” with that, he looks back at his DJ and commands: “Aye, play that shit.”

and suddenly, you hear a familiar voice: your own! Playing across the entire stadium and it’s a phone call that the two of you had one night..talking about your dreams and future together, playing over the beginning of a beat. “I already told you, we locked in forever…I love you, ‘ren and I’m so proud..you be on your shit and working so hard. I be praying that you’re okay and safe..I just want my baby to be happy..” “I got the best thing that could ever happen to me so I’m blessed..you know you got my whole heart, right?” “I know..”

immediately, everybody gets so emotional listening to you talk and knowing that their fav has somebody who cares for him as much as they do. “This is called (y/n)’s Interlude.” You’re crying before the song can even start but it’s when he starts singing and rapping that you really lose it! This is nothing like he’s ever made before but just like all his music, it’s perfect. He’s singing for the first part of it and he’s just doting on you. Telling you how much you’ve changed his life, that you’re everything he’s prayed for and that he’s so lucky.

by the time he gets to the end, you’re an emotional wreck and even though he rarely cries, he is too and pulls you in for a hug. And it’s such a sweet, touching moment. The crowd is in shambles and they all start chanting for y’all.

“Aye, she’s a part of our family now so y’all better be good to her.”

and when the crowd says they love you, you don’t know what to do! You probably look like a crazy, sobbing mess but it doesn’t matter. He honestly couldn’t have asked for a better way to end this tour.

#eren imagines #eren drabble #they have my whole heart #black fem reader #black fanfic writer #aot x black reader #eren x black fem!reader #eren x black yn #eren x black y/n #eren x black reader fluff #eren x black reader #eren x reader #musician au #influencer au #black fanfiction #anime x black!reader #eren jaeger imagines #eren jaeger x black reader #eren jaeger

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yonemurishiroku · 1 year

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i know you said you haven’t figured out it out yet but i’d like to hear any thoughts or random ideas you might have abt nezha & nico, either in general or in the time travel verse 👩‍🏫

Wow I didn't expect someone would actually be interested in this... Well, all the more motivation to be enthusiastic, then. xD

You're right that I've yet to figure out their connection, however, I can tell a little about that that drew me to the idea of them in the same picture.

The first would probably be their characterization.

Both are painted in black and white, of kindness and the flaws within. Afaik, the whole thing about Nezha is that he's a naughty, carefree, uncontrollable menace yet also kind in his own ways. He did so many wrongs and he tried to do just as many rights to make up for it. It's similar to Nico, in the way that they are kind at heart, yet can appear evil in others' eyes for some reason. And yes, they both have committed conventional horrible. Hell, Nezha peeled off Ao Bing's spine or st. Would you look at that, Bryce?

Grudge-holding. Now, I'm not saying I fancy what Rick did to Nico's fatal flaw, but talking in canon here, Nico held his sister's death against Percy (and himself) for quite a while; whereas Nezha, having died and was reborn again, literally came fighting his father because the man ruined his temple, where his soul resided. Like. If that isn't one hell of a grudge then I don't know what is.

Their spirits, their willpower, the prowess they possess despite their young ages. They are both so fierce, unstoppable, and resilient. Nezha is portrayed as a literal child in Chinese mythology, but his story is one hell of a ride (ya know, with all the slaying dragons, carving up his own flesh...). Idk about you but it gives me an impression of how intense Nezha might be, which is quite a reflection of Nico's story and characterization. Because Nico is... extreme, too, and you can't possibly tell me Nico's life story, with all that Tartarus and torture in the jar, isn't a grand tale in its own way. Alas, against all odds, they both emerge victorious. I love them.

They're both freaking powerful too, btw. But again, I guess every mythological figure is powerful in its own way.

Idk about you but I think Nico and Nezha should be allowed to sit down together and trade gory, creepy, bloody stories about themselves just to scare everyone else.

2. Their backgrounds, their stories.

They both have daddy issues omfg. Nezha literally fought his father, who ruined Nezha's temple, to the point of interference from other deities. And while I love Nico and Hades's love with everything in me, they did have a strained relationship throughout PJO. Hades told Nico he would prefer Bianca over him, and later nearly fired a ball at him. If that isn't parallel I don't know what is.

Their mothers love them so much I'm crying. Nezha's mother, Lady Yin, carried him in her womb for years and built him a temple when he asked her in a dream. And I suppose we don't need to talk about Maria anymore.

They are both, technically, 'prince's LMAO. Nezha is known as the Third Crowned Prince (or whatever that is bc Chinese is so hard to translate into English omg) and Nico is well, Nico. Their fathers are both technically kings, as well. Hades because obviously, Li Jing is known as one of the Heavenly Kings. And if you really look into it, Nezha is a commander of Heaven's army, directly under his father, whilst Nico is the Ambassador of Hades. Wow.

They are viewed as awful in people's eyes but still took efforts to help. I'm gonna admit my viewpoint might be altered by the Nezha (2019) movie. Nonetheless, I find it quite interesting that Nezha and Nico, though being scorned and ostracized by their kind, ended up being their saviors. Nezha killed himself when the Dragon King threatened to flood his hometown, and Nico went such lengths to aid the Seven with their world-saving quests. This is also proof of their kindness, which I adore so much, btw.

Feud with the sea. Well maybe not feud in Percy and Nico's case. A sensitive topic. History, maybe? Lol. Anyway, the fact remains that both Nico and Nezha share an unpleasant history with a son of the seas. If you take Nezha (2019) into consideration though, they both make peace with said animosity too! xD

They both befriend their old enemies. I'm talking about Wukong and Bob. It's fascinating, in a way lol.

These are everything I can come up with so far... Huh. I didn't expect them to share so similarities... I'm serious about Nezha and Nico having a bonding session now. These two are deemed to be besties.

It doesn't need to be in the Time Travel AU. Nico crash-landed in China before, didn't he? Maybe, Idk, Nezha was sent to investigate, and they ended up friends because Nico is as social as a capybara and Nezha has all the purity and generosity of a carefree child who fears nothing.

...I'm so deep in this omg...

Anw, if you want to share your Nico and Nezha content, I'm all ears!! xD

#nico di angelo #pjo #hoo #toa #yone rambling #percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #trials of apollo #nezha #nezha chinese mythology #time travel au #time travel #nico and nezha

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arcplaysgames · 1 year

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You know who I like? Yosuke. If only he wasn't also Yosuke, you know?

Like, when Yosuke is good, he's supremely fucking good!

Like its not even as simple as SLink Yosuke vs Main Scenario Yosuke, because as we get more distance away from the horrible fucking travesty of the spring camping trip, he's turning back into the pretty likeable dude. He's empathetic, he's mourning a girl who did not actually like him and trying to figure out how to handle it, he's driven by good emotions and not shitty emotions.

you get to hug him and he fucking cries for a while! that's some moving stuff!

Also, it's baffling he's not a romance option bc he sure as hell is written like one, lmao. I don't know if I have another full playthru of this game in me because my god its pacing is kind of a mess, but I am intrigued by the idea of modding in that romance and seeing it, because even if he's not Officially An Option, you cannot convince me Yosuke isn't in love with the MC and is just struggling to figure that out.

ANYWAY MY POINT IS WHERE HAS THIS GUY BEEN FOR THE PAST MONTH.

Circling back, a note about pacing: MAN this game's pacing is WEIRD and I am pretty sure I don't like it and am just tolerating it. Maybe it's because the way I personally play this game, knocking out the dungeon early and usually in one or two days, but the long periods of twiddling my thumbs after a dungeon completion is grating. It makes me want to rush through things to get to the next plot beat.

blah. At this point, I am trying to close out some SLinks so I can focus on others because this game literally has too fucking many.

Meanwhile, over in Yukiko's SLink, my god is she consistent. A new crew wanted to film the Amagi Inn to make a spooky show because of the murders, but they said no. Yukiko lowkey wishes they said yes so the inn would lose reputation and shut down and she'd be free to amscray without guilt.

Yukiko, I don't say this lightly, but what the hell. I full support you bailing on this destiny you didn't want or ask for, but wishing a historical institution of a small town would close forever just because you don't like the guilt is not great.

But also: remember her Shadow Self? The bird in a cage with an open door and no lock? Deep down, she's still struggling with this idea of wanting something else but not wanting to give up anything for it. It is still incredibly selfish! Which I love! This is some crunchy stuff! Huge fan.

I had to fucking google how to unlock this one but finally EMPEROR SOCIAL LINK: GET! Now, as you may suspect, I did initially make a fucking angry face at this. Emperor? For Kanji? Tell me you're using the Default Guy Card without telling me etc etc. My initial thought, I swear to god this is true and will be amusing in a moment, was "how the fuck is he an emperor without and empire to look after." Because the Emperor is very much about dominion over a place, about being in charge of taking care of it, so why tf would that be Kanji.

THEN LITERALLY

IN HIS FIRST FUCKING SLINK

One, love that the locals use 'chan' with him, that's precious. He is a hometown boy.

Two, the thing he's focused on is taking better care of the neighborhood. His presence causes trouble for everyone, especially his mother, and it's starting to eat at him. He wants to take better care of his community, particularly in the wake of these murders.

Which, to be clear: is tied into gangs pretty clearly. There's that whole argument that before corruption sets in and violence breaks out, gangs often start as a community's attempt to create protection for itself, to take care of people when the local government fails them.

Stewardship of the community from within the community is perhaps one of the most noble goals a person can have, and it's very Emperor. So, Kanji has work to do if he wants to take on that responsibility.

Doubly so because the next SLink for him, he tries to take Reverie home to meet his mom (aw) but we hear she's at the hospital. Kanji is panicked and thinks something bad had happened, but his mom is fine, she accompanied someone else to the hospital.

but Kanji is young and scared and lashes out because of it before running off.

Shocking no one, I like Kanji tremendously. I'll prob fill out Magician, Priestess, and Emperor p quick.

#p4 #persona liveblog

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stvaltiel · 3 months

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I am really curious about die anywhere else lol what a title!

lol ikr? it comes directly from a song in night in the woods which is ofc the inspo for this fic and also one one my fave games ever, highly recommend if you haven't already played it

so glad you asked about this btw bc this fic is very much my baby rn and i love any excuse to talk about it lol

the song itself is about feeling stuck in your hometown where you don't really belong anymore and watching things slowly change and just desperately wanting to run away and escape

as for the fic! jinx drops out of college and moves back home after having a breakdown and is now adjusting to being back after so long

she's also speedrunning a friends to lovers arc with ekko bc they've been crushing on each other since they were kids and their feelings are insanely obvious to everyone around them (scar in particular has a front row seat to their poorly concealed flirting and hates it lol)

i could literally talk about this fic all day but! here's a snippet, titled in the outline as "ekko's love language is being a little shit" 😌🫶🏽

Ekko whistles as they round the side of the house. "Damn, I didn't think the treehouse was still standing." He turns to her with a grin. "We should go up there."

Jinx raises an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Why not?"

"Because it's probably full of spiders or some shit?" She says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Because we could be doing literally anything else?"

His grin widens as he leans in and she leans back because fuck, it should be illegal for someone to be so attractive. "So what I'm hearing is you're a chicken."

"I am not."

"Totally are."

"I'm not!"

"Definitely are." Ekko says with a look that screams I can do this all day.

Jinx tips her head back and groans. "Fiiiiiine," She drags the word out. "We'll go in the stupid treehouse."

He shoots her a smile that's all teeth, entirely too satisfied. "See how easy that was?"

"Fuck you." Jinx laughs as she shoves him and stalks across the yard, stopping at the base of the tree. "Well?" She gestures at the wooden ladder nailed to the trunk.

"Ladies first."

Jinx rolls her eyes but starts climbing all the same. "God I hate you. Why are we even friends?"

Ekko laughs, full and deep. "You love me."

#letters-to-Rosie #ask games #this is so long LMAO im so sorry 😭

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hyunjinspark · 4 months

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finally had the time to sit down and read the past couple of chapters of slwy and sweet lord jesus christ i kinda dont even know what to say . it's so bizarre to think about how many things happened to hyunjin and yn, how far they've come and how apart they seem to be at the same time. i was kinda in awe while reading the smut scenes bc i couldn't really process what was happening KSKSKSKAK i kept thinking back to how shy and careful they used to be around each other and 🥹🥹 i just love them sm.

and i cant really get mad at hyunjin either tbh. i Do think he should be more mindful of yns feelings, he's definitely leading her on and kinda just using her in a way, but he has SO MUCH going on and we know how hard it is for him and how much he loves her and omg i just :((( their whole situation is so heartbreaking. wish i could put a therapy session in a box put a pretty bow on it and give it to hyunjin 💔💔💔

also im really loving the new characters!! everyone's being so nice to yn and she deserves it🥹🥹 made me realize how often she walked on eggshells around Everyone in her hometown lmfao im glad she's finding better company

and also i HATE how yeonjun is still in love w hana like pls set him FREE

although i do want hyunjin and yn to get together, i really don't mind seeing yn get interested in other ppl 👀 hj really needs a wake up call

also wanted to mention that i started reading slwy on ao3 and realized its sitting at 366k words . holy shit😭 i genuinely adore ur story and ur writing - i only ever read one shots bc im too lazy to keep up w longfics. keeping ppl interested in such a long story and having them wait for each chapter is a huge talent, and your writing couldn't be more immersive. hope ur genuinely proud of what ur doing!!

also i kinda want yn to have a thing w yeonjun and jeongin too but dont tell her i said that

🩸

im very late to this i apologise, i tend to keep longer reviews like this in my inbox so i can go always back and read them as opposed to if i post them, they get lost in my page amongst other things :(

but the smut ah. i forgot about that haha. i think this was in reference to…the part before he leaves for the city. their situation is definitely so heartbreaking :((

and yeah, it’s certainly easier to read it on ao3 and the wordcount rn is kinda insane. i cant really believe i did that too, im just happy other people also appreciate and like this story as much as i love telling it.

#star lost with you

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drowninmiserylake · 2 months

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I wish I could hug 18 year old me and tell her to let those people go. to not give it a reaction. people love to use your reactions to their hurtful actions to turn you into the bad guy. maybe I didn't have the best reactions, but it was okay for me to be upset. it was. I just wish she didn't give it the energy. I wish I didn't. I think 30 year old me needs to take my own advice. I feel so alone. like yeah I have friends and family but im not anyone's number 1. I don't even really have to be someone's number one, it just feels like nobody gives what I give to them and im so tired. bc what about when I'm gone...then what? will they be there crying saying how great of a bond we had when I gave all the effort to the friendships. when I make all those trips...ive only had two friends come out to visit me from my hometown and ive lived here for 6 years now. even family. constantly begging me to come visit home all the time. what about when I leave the country...then what? what about when I finally find my own community who loves me as much as I love them. I think the American culture doesn't cherish these types of relationships between people. everyone is focused on their nuclear family with significant others who who who, ach, im going to bite my tongue. my opinion doesn't matter on that anyway, truly, why waste my breathe or my fingertips on the words.

it's funny. it coincides with 17 year old me and now as we have grown I think we have found what this really is, right? I remember at 17 being told I was jealous of someone's relationship, but really it was a friend neglecting a friendship. I also was dating someone too, lol. nobody is really much jealous of others relationships, I mean it happens, I think people are more hurt. I mean your friendships change a lot with someone when they start dating someone. it's an adjustment that can be smooth or very bumpy or completely severed. but, because people do not want to own up to hurting anyone or taking time away from their codependent relationship it's jumping right to jealousy. trust me, ive said it myself to others. I know. ahhhh patriarchy, how you've left crumbs that a special task force to vacuum up.

I wish I could hug 18 year old me so much. dealing with abuse. dealing with friendship changes, transitioning to college, watching friends go out without you (sometimes I really do wonder if this was on purpose can you blame a girl for being paranoid? I have cptsd), being parentified, her own thoughts, the loss of friendships via death. it hurt her. the transition wasn't easy. they'll never get it, never understand all the abuse she went through. that angry girl was just hurt girl and she was so tired of people hurting her that she fought back. she was harsh in ways because ways were harsh to her. I love her. she deserved so much better.

0 notes

thaywrites · 4 months

Note

heyyyyy, GEBF here! sorry, i got swamped by irl commitments, but im finally hereeee again! how has your break been, bestie? also i just wanted to ask you about your favorite muse(s) so far. is there any character you're currently all about? are they in their main character era in your head?

that's completely understandable with the holidays and all, but nice to hear from you again, GEBF! and oh, it's been both amazing and busy all at once but I'm just glad to be able to rest and spend time with my family. hmmmm so I have like a loooot of muses lol bc I'm always coming up with new ideas and love to build characters and stories and worlds. I adore all of them but there are some that I just feel more musey when writing bc they live in my head 24/7 rent free. so here are some of them:

aurora "rory" cohen ( victoria pedretti fc ): rory's a character that came to me when i got back into the rpc and she has been my baby since. she's a baker and pretty much, all sunshine and honey and freshly baked cookies. she's kind of a celebrity in her hometown, since she's the mayor's daughter from a small town, and kinda loves it bc she loves to get to know new people. she also just tends to talk too much. her family fell apart a couple years back bc daddy cheated and the whole town was all over it and then her first love broke her heart so she's currently in her healing era, living with her pitbull and trying to get her own bakery up n running.

adrien zahir ( avan jogia fc ): adrien is a muse i've had for yeaaars and i never get tired of writing him. he's a guitar player in the kinda famous rock band loudmouth ( and i write all the band members too ) and basically his background is that he was kicked out of his family by an overly religious father who hated the fact his only son was queer. so he found himself a new family instead. he went through many revamps and as of his latest one, he went from a sex crazed, addicted, alcoholic, messy rockstar to a soon-to-be daddy, pretty much married, recovered and decent human being. he's still loud, brazen, flamboyant and that's why we love him sm.

theodore becker ( andrew garfield fc ): theo is my broadway star. well, currently on a break. so he's basically a sweetheart broadway actor who was head over heels in love with the man of his dreams and he thought it was time to take things to the next level. he proposed, got a no for an answer and decided he needed some time away from new york, so he moved back home to help his dads out with their small business. he's pretty much a goof, big musical theater nerd, and just has a lot of love to give. i adore him sm.

alev özberk ( alperen duymaz fc ): poor man's version of clyde from the infamous duo bonnie and clyde. his bonnie is written by a friend of mine and we just have sm fun with those two. alev is my badboy, he's been part of a gang and has done some pretty hefty stuff in his life. he's a burglar, a liar, a drug dealer and all around a shitty person. but he's honestly so much fun to write bc he's always getting up to something and honestly, i miss him sm.

bowie monroe ( sophie thatcher / kiana madeira fc ): my little delinquent redneck enby babygirl. so their background is super messed up, mommy was a groupie that partied too much and didn't care about her motherly duties, so bowie was left at the cares of their older siblings (all half, all from different fathers) and was raised by them. they grew to be pretty pissed off at everything and everyone but they do try to be on a good behavior for the sake of their siblings, which is hard considering the friends bowie usually keeps by her side. she also has a pet lizard she's very fond of.

there's like so many others i could add to this list but i wanted to keep it on the shorter side lol

#rphservergifts #answered.#accidentally posted it without finishing omg

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astrobiche · 2 years

Text

Typical quotes i heard from some placements

That made me go "this is such a x thing to say" 🌸

Disclaimer : this is just for fun and shouldn't be taken seriously, enjoy 🥂

🍥Cap moon " im not fond of relying on others it makes me feel.. uncomfortable"

💮Cap venus " hes not spending money on me at all.. he aint the one"

🍥Cap sun " i wanna start investing in stock while im still in school"

Cap sun (hitting up my friend who had blocked him) : "hi i know we havent talked in years but i was wondering why u blocked me on everywhere? What did i do wrong?" Her *explains he's a pos* him "thanks for your input" is this customer service ?

💮Gem moon " my favorite genre is drama i like gossip and tea and drama you know?"

🍥Libra moon " u say yall are just friends? Nah shipping you" * proceeds to think everyone is dating and shipping everyone*

💮Sag venus " i really want a foreign bf and travel around the world and date guys from different countries"

🍥Aqua moon " this random guy just called me beautiful and i cringed", "i like to do my thing i hate conforming".

" i can turn my feelings off if i want, but its fun to feel sometimes so i dont"

💮Aqua sun " i wish i could live in a mountain far away from humans". "why are people so vile?"

🍥Sag sun "i like surrounding myself w people i can learn from and grow with"

💮 Pisces sun "people always talk about being delusional as if it's a bad thing but i beg to differ, being delusional is honestly so fun and it's taken me so far, like have you seen reality? Why would you wanna be a part of that? Live in your heads people!" - @flossybaby from TikTok

🍥 Aries sun "honestly, i dont care much about people or company when im travelling, i go because i wanna see the city itself"

💮Gemini mercury "so there's this book i started reading.. i'll tell u what i learn along the way"

🍥Sag mercury "i just said it like it is, idk why ure so mad bc of the truth?"

💮Libra mars "which city i prefer between my hometown and the one i currently live in? Hm we all belong to the same country after all haha i cant answer that"

🍥12h venus (whos also a gemini) : " u know its so easy for me to socialize and talk to ppl so i dont feel lonely but i need ppl to connect with spritually. Its like "love at first sight" but it applies to friendship too.. i wanna let fate decide"

💮Scorpio mars "that bitch is trying to steal my man but i came up w a plan to ruin her so i'll walk into the store she works at then complain about her to the manager.. i'll work out the details later.. revenge is a dish best served cold" (she seems like a menace but she didnt do none of that lol dont mess w a scorpio mars' (OR ANYONE)'s partner yall)

💮 *chilling on bumble and matches with a guy* me : "hii"

2 minutes later and without asking yet

Him " i'm a leo"

💮 3h neptune "nice to meet you! I just talked about witchcraft w the uber driver on the way here"

🍥 sag moon "i have a feeling whoever i marry is a foreigner"

#astrology #astro notes #astro observations #astrology observations #astrology notes

589 notes · View notes

fortheloveofwonderland · 3 years

Text

A Memory Locked In The Heart - Spencer Reid x fem! Reader

A/N - Requested by the lovely @overduelibrarybooks I hope this was the kind of thing you were looking for!

Find my masterlist here.

My taglists are open and requests are open.

Requested: Yes l No

Request: "could u ever write a spencer reid x reader where reader def works for the cia but more as a translator who’s kinda forced into doing agenty things in order to gather intel and on a mandated break she finds out the UNSUB before the team does so she uses herself as bait, and shoots the guy all very badass fashion n then gets interrogated bc ms girl just shot him coldblood and halfway thru she recognizes spencer bc her mother and his mom lived in the same care facility??? idk sorry my mom has paranoid too so it just hits different but u don’t have to write this if u don’t want to i love ur writing <3"

CW: disclaimer: I know next to nothing about the CIA and what they investigate so please go easy on me here. This is all made up so hopefully it makes some kind of sense. Mentions of violence and sex work, schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s, some swears. Mentions of drug use and overdose. Spanish used towards the end is from Google Translate so I apologise if it isn’t completely accurate. Italics indicate flashbacks.

Plot: Eighteen years ago you met a boy named Spencer Reid whilst visiting your mother at Bennington Sanitorium. This time you are meeting under entirely different circumstances; across the table of an interrogation room.

WC: 5.3K

—————————————————————

How did I end up here?

That was a question you kept asking yourself as you rolled into your third hour of sitting in that cold, dimly lit interrogation room at the FBI headquarters in Quantico, Virginia.

Well you supposed you’d have to go back to the beginning to truly work that out.

The CIA and FBI joint task force for a country wide sex trafficking ring they believed to be operating out of DC.

When your team at the CIA had started investigating it was estimated that the ring had close to a hundred women who had been abducted and forced into the sex industry.

A lot of women were believed to have been taken trying to cross the border. Your job as a translator had involved spending a lot of time in Mexico, helping interview witnesses and family members who didn’t speak English.

The FBI involvement had come when women believed to have been part of the trafficking ring started turning up dead.

At last count they were up to twenty bodies. The Behavioural Analyst Unit had given their profile of the man they believed to be running the show.

White male in his mid to late forties. Bilingual. Possibly born in Mexico or an area surrounding the border but grew up in DC, they assumed based on his knowledge of the area. He’s attractive, charming and has a good level of education, he’d need to be able to charm the women into trusting him. He doesn’t have a full time job because he wouldn’t have time for one. All his time and focus goes on his girls. He was tech savvy, incredibly so, he’d have to be, to be able to set up the network on the dark web which enabled his customers to pay for his services.

It hadn’t been going well. Bodies kept dropping and the task force was no closer to catching the person responsible.

This went on for six months. Everyone was exhausted. You kept hitting brick wall after brick wall. It was demoralising.

Your boss had called for mandated time off. You’d all argued but she had been absolutely adamant. You’d all been working yourselves to the bone and she didn’t want you burnt out entirely.

You’d argued but your words had fallen on deaf ears.

“Can I get you a glass of water or something?”

The voice startled you out of your thoughts. You looked up to see the lanky, messy haired agent who called himself Doctor Reid, sticking his head through the door.

“Is coffee an option?”

He smiled brightly at you, a smile you swear you’ve seen before.

“Coffee is always an option.” He told you. “How do you take it?”

“Strong and black. Please.”

“I’ll be right back.”

With that the door closed leaving you to your thoughts once more.

There was something so familiar about the Doctor. His dark yet sparkling eyes, his awkward smile and the way he dressed. You couldn’t place it. But there was definitely something about him that stirred some memory buried deep in your brain. You just weren’t sure what it was.

He returned a few minutes later, bringing your coffee into the room and placing it on the table in front of you.

“Hopefully you won’t be stuck here too much longer. It’s just standard procedure.” he spoke sweetly, his voice stirring the hidden memory.

“Yeah I know. I get it.” you sighed as you spoke, wrapping your hands around the coffee. “Thank you for this.”

“You’re welcome.” he smiled before he started backing out of the room. You wished you could ask him to stay because you felt so much more at ease with him around. But you knew you couldn’t.

He turned to you in the doorway.

“You look cold in that.” He smiled a little sadly at you.

You’d forgotten about your outfit choice. No self respecting CIA agent dressed like you were right now.

“I guess I am a little.” You shrugged.

Spencer instantly shrugged his blazer off of his shoulders and laid it in front of you on the table.

“Thank you Doctor Reid.” you spoke again before he disappeared out the door.

“Goodbye Agent Y/L/N.”

The door closed, his voice reverberating in your ears, dragging you into a long forgotten memory.

As you slipped his jacket on, your eyes fluttered closed, his scent wafting up your nose.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Spencer. Spencer Reid.”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

Your eyes shot back open, a frown on your face.

“Spencer?” you muttered under your breath. “Spencer Reid.”

Where had you pulled that name from? And why did it feel oddly connected to Vegas?

You tried to push the thought away, you already had enough on your mind. There were much more pressing things to deal with than a vague memory from your hometown an undetermined amount of time ago.

***

You’d been instructed to switch off. Your time off should be used to recoup, relax and not to think about the case.

Easier said than done you thought.

Before you’d left the office on your mandated leave you’d taken photocopies of some files and slipped them into your bag. You knew you’d be in trouble if you were caught but you couldn’t help yourself. You wouldn’t be able to relax with this case still open.

As far as you were aware the BAU was still working on it but it provided you little comfort. In your time with the CIA you’d never gotten to be involved so heavily in a case. Your skills were mostly utilised in interview capacities and then you were sidelined.

You’d never had the privilege to work on a joint task force or investigate a crime so brutal.

You felt personally invested in this case. You thought if you could just find that one missing puzzle piece you could crack this case wide open.

And then you’d found it. The golden ticket. The smoking gun. The missing piece.

It had taken five days of your leave and copious amounts of coffee but you’d connected the dots no one else had.

You knew how to draw the unsub out. And you were going to do it tonight.

***

“Let’s start again from the beginning shall we?” Agent Rossi linked his fingers together on top of the table as he looked across at you, still slowly sipping your coffee.

“Oh goody.” You sighed. “Could Agent Jareau not fill you in what I’ve already told her?”

“Humour me.” The old man shrugged.

You didn’t have any ill will against him. Far from it. You were actually a big fan of David Rossi. But you were sick and tired of being treated like a criminal.

“Tell me how you managed to work out how to find him.”

You took another long sip of the coffee.

“All the pieces were there, they just hadn’t been put into place.”

“And how did you piece them together?”

“There was a pattern to where the women had been last seen. It was a guess more than anything. A lucky guess.”

“And the pattern was?”

You sighed in frustration.

“As I told agent Jareau,” you sipped your coffee. “The bars they were last seen in all had ties to Mexico. I’m not a native to DC but I know the area like the back of my hand. They were all either Mexican owned, had a Mexican name or were previously establishments such as Mexican restaurants. I made an educated guess that he frequented places such as these looking for his targets. I just got lucky I picked the right one.”

***

You felt incredibly exposed, but you supposed that was the point.

If you were going to get this guy's attention, you had to do this right.

It was a long shot. Just because Western’s bar was known for its famous tacos did not mean it would be the place he chose to pick up girls.

You just had to hope.

You wore a skimpy skirt that barely covered your ass, knee high boots and a crop top that accentuated your assets.

Your firearm was hidden in your left boot.

Your outfit garnered a lot of looks as you headed through Westerns towards the bar.

You felt men’s eyes on you from every angle, making you feel extremely self conscious. But you needed to keep your cool, exude confidence.

If your guy was here he needed to see you shine.

You ordered a soda to keep your head clear and sat at a table over the far side of the bar. From there you had a good view of the entrance and most of the room. And more importantly, the room had a view of you.

Three hours you sat there nursing your soda. It was a huge stab in the dark, you weren’t really surprised.

You finished your drink and headed out onto the cool DC street.

You made it five steps before you felt a presence behind you.

Just as you were about to turn, something covered your mouth.

You struggled against a pair of strong arms.

A smell wafted up your nose seconds before you lost consciousness.

Chloroform.

***

“Why didn’t you tell your unit chief before you went in?”

“Because I thought it was a long shot.” And because she would have been furious I was working the case.

“So you chose to use yourself as bait?”

“Yes.” You shrugged nonchalantly.

“Do you know how dangerous that could have been?” Rossi raised an eyebrow at you.

You had to refrain from rolling your eyes.

“Yes agent Rossi, I’m well aware. But I had a lead and I wasn’t going to ignore it.” You pulled Doctor Reid’s jacket tighter around your scantily clad body.

You caught his scent again. Coffee. Old books. A hint of peppermint.

Another long shut off memory wormed it’s way to the surface.

“So are you here visiting someone?”

“Yeah.” You smiled sadly. “My mom.”

“Oh.” He returned your sad smile. “Me too.”

“Agent Y/L/N?”

You were brought back by Rossi’s concerned voice.

“Hmm?”

“I said, what happened next? You were chloroformed and then what?”

You shook your head, your mind clouded.

“Can we take a break? I could really use some air.”

Rossi sighed with a small nod.

He stood from his chair and motioned you to follow him.

You got some odd looks from his fellow agents as he led you to the elevators. They all recognised what you were wearing as Spencer’s jacket.

You followed Rossi into the elevator and he pressed the button for the ground floor.

“Agent Rossi, can I ask you a strange question?” You asked as the doors closed.

He gave you a curious look.

“I suppose.”

“Doctor Reid. As in Spencer Reid?”

“The one and only.” Rossi frowned unsure what you were getting at.

“Where is he from?”

Rossi’s frown deepened, not sure he should tell you such things about his team. But you were an agent and you didn’t pose a threat to the team.

“Vegas I believe.”

Vegas. Of course.

“Ok.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I don’t know.” You chewed your lip. “I think I might have known him.”

“Oh?”

You wished you hadn’t opened your mouth. This was not the time or place.

“I’m probably wrong. Just forget I said anything.”

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. As you stepped out you pulled Spencer’s collar to your nose and sniffed it.

No you weren’t wrong.

***

Las Vegas, Nevada - 1999

“Hi again.” You smiled at the lanky man, Spencer you’d met a few days ago. “How’s your mom?”

“Still angry at me.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and stubbed the toe of his shoe on the floor.

“She came in recently?”

“Yeah a few months ago. I turned eighteen and I was able to have her put into care.” He blanched, clearly feeling guilty for his decision.

“Do you want to grab a coffee?”

“Uhm sure.” He shrugged.

He followed you through to the day room. It was late and there were only a few patients inside and a few nurses milling around.

You got two cups of coffee from the machine and the two of you sat at a table together.

“Do you mind me asking what’s wrong with your mom?” You dared as you slid him the drink.

He sighed heavily, gnawing on his bottom lip as though his life depended on it.

“She’s a paranoid schizophrenic.” He spoke clinically, words he’d had to say too many times in his life. It was as though he’d distanced himself from it. Like he was giving a patient a diagnosis rather than talking about his own mother.

“Mine too.” You gave him a wry smile. You had something in common, just not something you would like to have in common.

“How long has your mom been here?”

“Three years. She got really bad and my dad couldn’t take care of her anymore. She’s been doing much better since she moved in here.”

“That’s good.” Spencer nodded. “I hope my mom realises I did this for her. For her well being. At the moment she’s just so...angry.”

You reached across the table and placed your hand on top of his. He seemed a little startled by the physical touch but you didn’t move your hand.

“This is the best place for her. I assume from what you said earlier your dad isn’t in the picture?”

He used his free hand to sip his coffee with a sad shake of his head.

“He left when I was ten. He couldn’t handle mom's illness.”

You gave his hand a small squeeze.

“I can’t imagine what it was like for you to have to look after her by yourself. It was hard enough with my dad there. Really makes you grow up fast.”

“It really does.” He agreed. “I’m not sure I ever got to be a kid.”

“I know that feeling.”

After that you spent hours chatting about anything and everything until way into the night. It wasn’t until a nurse came and asked you politely to leave that you realised how late it was.

“I’ll probably see you around?” You spoke as you stepped outside together.

“Maybe. In a few weeks I’m heading out of state. I’m working on a PhD.” He didn’t want to tell you it was actually his second PhD.

“Oh. Ok.” You tried to hide the disappointment from your voice.

Despite the circumstances you’d enjoyed talking to someone like minded, someone who understood. You didn’t have anyone else your own age you could talk to about this kind of thing.

“Maybe we could exchange numbers?” You blushed a little.

“I don’t have a cellphone.” He shrugged.

“Oh.”

“It’s not an excuse.” He sensed you didn’t believe him. “I’m not so into technology. I don’t even have email.”

Normally you would have thought it was just a bad excuse to get out of seeing you again but the look on Spencer’s face told you he was being genuine.

“Ok.” You gave him a shy smile. “Well maybe I’ll see you again before you leave.”

“I hope so.” His eyes sparkled as he looked at you on the dark street.

There was an air between you, some kind of thick tension but you didn’t know what it meant.

“If I don’t see you again,” you spoke trying to ignore whatever it was. “It was really good to meet you and I hope your mom gets used to the facility.”

“You too.” He smiled so genuinely at you, it made your heart skip a beat.

And then you went your separate ways.

***

“Ok, so what happened next?” Rossi wasted no time once you were back in the interrogation room.

“Well I blacked out after I was chloroformed so excuse me if I don’t remember.” You gave him a sarcastic smile.

“What’s the next thing you do remember?” He reworded his question.

“I woke up in a large basement. It was gritty and dingy. And there were other women there too.”

“How many?”

“At least twenty.” You sighed letting your mind travel back to the basement you never wanted to go back to. Not even in your mind.

***

You woke with a start, your head pounding. You gasped for air as though you’d been drowning.

You blinked your eyes trying to adjust to the dark room you found yourself in.

It was cold and damp and you could hear a pipe dripping in the distance.

You tried to roll over but your arm wouldn’t budge. You were met by a loud clanking sound when you tried.

You tugged your arm, hearing the same sound and being met with a sharp pain in your wrist.

“Good luck.” A woman’s voice scoffed. “They don’t come loose.”

You blinked a few more times, looking over to your left arm. There was a heavy metal cuff right around your wrist that was attached to a metal bed frame.

That’s when you realised you were laying on a small cot on top of a ratty, itchy blanket. You were still dressed, thank god.

You suddenly remembered your firearm concealed in your boot. You patted your left calf and sure enough you felt the hard weapon still inside.

That was something at least.

Oversight on their part.

You remembered the voice you’d heard before and turned as much as you could with your arm cuffed to take in the rest of the room.

There were at least forty other cots close together lining the walls, with at least half of them containing the body of other women.

The voice you’d heard belonged to a woman in the cot next to you. She gave you a smile but it didn’t reach her eyes.

Her eyes were broken.

“Hi,” you croaked. “I’m Y/N.”

“Delilah.” Her accent was Spanish. You were sure Delilah wasn’t her real name either.

“How long have you been here?”

She sighed, playing with a strand of curly black hair.

“What month is it?”

“September.”

“Oh.” She frowned. “Not that long then. I’ve been here since July.” She looked confused as though that couldn’t be long enough.

“Delilah?” You narrowed your eyes on her. “What year do you think it is?”

“2018…” she saw your face drop and knew instantly it was no longer 2018.

“Oh gosh.” You felt for her, tears welling in your eyes. “It’s 2020.”

“Oh.” Her face fell. “Wow.”

“It’s ok.” You lowered your voice. “I’m CIA. I’m going to get us out of here. I promise I’ll keep you safe.”

***

“Delilah.” Rossi opened the file in front of him. “Was that Roberta Suez?”

He pulled out a photograph and slid it across the table. You averted your gaze.

“Yes and please I don’t need to see it, I was there.”

“How did she end up in hospital fighting for her life?”

“You know how.” You huffed. “Look I’m starting to get fed up with this now.” You folded your arms. “Carlos Ramirez was a sick son of a bitch. If I hadn’t done what I did he would have killed all those women. I don’t regret what I did.”

“How did she end up in hospital?” He repeated.

“Good lord.” You grumbled. “I’ll talk but I don’t want to talk to you.”

Rossi narrowed his eyes on you.

“No? But I’m so compassionate.” He spoke sarcastically.

“I won’t say another word unless it’s to Reid.” You looked up to the two way mirror. You didn’t know why but you had a feeling he was there.

Sure enough it was barely twenty seconds before the door opened and Doctor Reid himself stepped in the room.

“I got this Rossi.” Spencer told the older man who stood up with a shrug.

Rossi left the room while Spencer took the seat he’d been occupying.

Did he remember you? It had been close to twenty years since you’d last seen each other. Had it not been for the olfactory memory that struck you when you put on his jacket you might never have remembered him.

But you knew the rest of his team was behind the two way glass, or at least some of them were so it didn’t seem an appropriate time to ask such things.

“So agent Y/L/N,” he smiled softly at you. “Can you please tell me how Delilah ended up in hospital?”

“You already know the answer to that Doctor but since you asked so nicely,” you leant your elbows on the table, entwined your fingers and rested your chin the little bridge you’d created. “She had a drug overdose. But you and I both know it wasn’t her who administered the drugs.”

“And who did?”

“I did.”

Your words hung in the air between you and Spencer. He knew the answer, the whole team did. You’d already told Agent Jareau everything.

This was a huge waste of time.

“I administered the drugs because he told me if I didn’t he would kill me. I needed to stay alive so I could save those women.”

“Who said he would kill you?”

“I don’t know his name.”

“It wasn’t Ramirez?”

“No.” You shook your head. “If it was Ramirez I would have shot him. But it must have been one of his right hand men.”

“How would you know that? You’d never met Ramirez correct?” Spencer had a soft tone to his voice which made his line of questioning easier than Agent Jareau’s.

“I’m not a profiler but I’ve been to enough seminars over the years. He didn’t fit the bill. He was young, scatty, he didn’t strike as much fear into the other women as I thought the boss would. I made an educated guess and I was right. If I’d shot at him I would have blown my chance at getting Ramirez.”

***

“Shit shit shit!” You pulled yourself as close to Delilah’s cot as possible with your restraint. “Delilah, keep breathing, try to breath. Fuck I am sorry.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks, the empty needle you’d been made to inject in her vein between your cots on the floor.

He’d held a gun to your head and said he would shoot you if you didn’t do it. You didn’t think he was bluffing.

“It happens a lot.” A woman opposite spoke up. “You’ll soon find out. If she wakes up she’ll have the pleasure of returning the favour.” She gave you an almost manic grin.

If she wakes up. It was the if you were having the issue with.

“Who’s in charge around here?”

She shrugged.

“Don’t know his name. Big guy. Tattoos. Mustache. You can’t miss him.”

“Does he come down here often?”

Again she shrugged.

“Being down here you have a way of losing track of time.” She clicked her tongue. “But he’ll be here for you later. He has to test his new girls.”

Your blood ran cold.

“Test?” You swallowed, pretty sure you knew what she meant.

“He can’t very well expect you to make him money if he doesn’t know how good you are.”

Oh god.

Your heartbeat raced. No, it was not going to come to that. You were a CIA agent and you were armed.

It was not going to come to that.

***

Spencer’s face paled a little at your words. You hadn’t told Agent Jareau that part.

“He was going to...he didn’t…”

“No.” You cut him off, pushing the memory back down. “I had a gun, remember.”

You offered him a wry smile.

“So you know what comes next.”

“I’d like you to tell me.”

The way he said it was more like he was a therapist than an FBI agent. As though he wanted you to tell him so you could get it off your chest, unburden yourself, rather than for interrogation purposes.

“Ok.” You nodded. “He came for me later that night. And that’s when it happened.”

***

“Ahh look at you.”

A deep, Spanish voice woke you.

Your eyes fluttered open and landed on a strong, tattooed man with a mustache standing over your cot.

This must be him.

“Tan hermosa.”

So beautiful.

You tried not to shudder.

You sat up wiggling your legs in your boots to make sure you could still feel your firearm. You could.

“Su nombre es Rosa.”

Your name is Rosa.

Guess again.

“Su nombre es Y/N.”

“Tú hablas español?”

You speak Spanish?

“Si.”

“Eres perfecta.” He grinned menacingly. “My clients will love you.”

He reached in his pocket and fished out a key chain. He reached over you and unlocked your cuff.

You rolled your wrist to try and get your blood circulating again.

“On your feet.”

You complied and stood up. Your legs were shaky.

He grasped your wrist, hard enough so you couldn’t wriggle free but not hard enough to leave a mark. He started dragging you across the room.

With his free hand he undid the four locks on the large steel door and pulled your through it. Once on the other side he took care to lock them all again, keeping a firm grasp on you the whole time.

You were dragged down a long, narrow corridor towards another steel door, this one with just one lock on.

He slid the key in and opened it, pulled you inside and locked it behind him.

The room was much smaller than the one you’d been held in and only housed a single cot.

He licked his lip as he looked at you. His large, thick fingers stroked your cheek and you had to try and hide your disgust.

“En la cama. Ahora.”

On the bed. Now.

You had to pick the opportune moment. You had to plan this just right. You had no doubt he had a gun on him so if you faltered even slightly, he would kill you.

“Qué tal esto.”

How about this.

You made a show of licking your lips and then dropping to your knees in front of him.

“Whoa, feisty. I like it.” He grinned, his meaty hands going to his belt buckle.

Yes. Right where you wanted him.

While he was fumbling with his belt, you reached your hand back into your left boot, drawing your gun in one swift move.

You head butted him in the crotch, sending him stumbling backwards, crying out in pain.

“Mierda!” Shit. “Usted puta!”

You whore!

You were on your feet in a second, your gun trained on him.

“You will never hurt another woman again.” You spat, furious tears suddenly streaming from your eyes.

He looked up at you, his mouth opened to speak.

But the words didn’t come out as your bullet hit him between the eyes.

“Who’s the puta now?”

***

“I would say,” Spencer chewed his lip. “You did what you had to do to survive.”

You breathed a sigh of relief.

Thank god.

“Thank you.” You smiled softly. “And I did. If I hadn’t shot him, who knows how many other women would have died.”

Spencer pushed his chair back and stood up.

“Just so you know, we got word from the hospital a little while ago. Roberta Suez, Delilah, is going to be just fine.”

“Oh thank god.” You felt tears brimming your eyes.

He opened the door and turned back to you.

“Are you coming?”

“I can leave?”

“You were never under arrest.” He smirked at you.

You couldn’t help but laugh.

You got up from the chair and Spencer motioned you out of the room.

“I’ll walk you out.” He showed you across the bullpen towards the elevators. There was an awkward air between the two of you.

Did you say anything? It didn’t seem as though he remembered you, was it worth reminding him?

He motioned you into the elevator first and he followed, pressing the button.

The elevator started its descent.

Time was running out.

“So uhm…” Spencer turned to you and turned too. “How’s your mom?”

A smile broke out on your features.

“I didn’t think you remembered me.”

“Are you kidding?” He laughed. “I recognised you the second you walked in.”

“It’s been twenty years.” You laughed.

“Eighteen years, seven months.” He corrected you. “But I could never forget your face.”

You blushed a little, averting your gaze.

“My moms doing ok. Thanks for asking. How’s your mom?” You looked back at him.

“Recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.” He told you sadly.

“Oh gosh I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok. These things happen.” He shrugged. “Made it to thirty without having a schizophrenic break but now I have to wait until I’m older to find out if I’ll develop Alzheimer’s.”

The doors to the elevator opened and you stepped out, Spencer close behind.

“I really am sorry Spencer.”

“It’s ok.” He shrugged. “Is your mom still at Bennington? I used to see her when I went to visit my mom but I moved her out a little while ago.”

“Yeah she’s still there. She likes being close to my dad.”

You both hovered by the exit, not ready to say goodbye.

“Can I take you for coffee? If you don’t have anywhere else to be.” Spencer blushed as he spoke.

“I’d like that. A lot actually. But I’d really like to shower and change out of this getup.” You laughed. “How about dinner?”

“Dinner sounds perfect.” He grinned at you.

You gave him a smile and turned to leave but before you made it to the door Spencer spoke again.

“Y/N,” he called your name, his voice cracking a little. “You uh...you forgot something.”

You turned to face him curiously.

He walked closer to you and without a second thought, placed his hands on your face and kissed you.

For a second you stood frozen, in shock of what was going on.

But after a few moments you wrapped your arms around his neck and opened your mouth to deepen the kiss.

When the kiss ended you were both smiling at one another.

“What was that for?” You asked softly.

“Oh you know…” he shrugged with a coy smile. “Just something that needed to be done.”

“I’ll meet you back here in a few hours.” You told him, touching his chest briefly.

“Ok.”

“Bye Spencer Reid.”

“Bye Y/N Y/L/N.” He croaked.

And with that you sauntered out the doors but not out of his life.

***

Las Vegas, Nevada - 1999

“Spencer?” You’d only made it a few paces away from Bennington before you stopped in your tracks, calling his name. “You uh...you forgot something.”

He turned to face you curiously.

You walked closer to him and without a second thought, placed your hands on his face and kissed him.

He stood frozen, in shock of what was going on.

It was just a brief kiss, Spencer was too confused to do anything but stand there dumbly.

“Wh-what was that for?” He swallowed.

“Just something that needed to be done.” You smiled. “Bye Spencer Reid.”

“Bye Y/N Y/L/N.”

And with that you sauntered back down the street, hoping that one day, the universe would lead you back into each other’s lives.

—————————————————————

Taglist (let me know if you would like to be added) -

@muffin-cup

@andiebeaword

@mggsprettygirl @measure-in-pain

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #dr spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #david rossi #jennifer jareau #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader

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matsbarzal · 3 years

Note

Hi my dear!!! I’m here to request another fic/blurb bc I cannot get enough of all the ones you’ve written for me/others so far! 🤩💕

If it’s still available, could you please do random/au #4 the moment you look into their eyes... you just know. with Mat Barzal??? Thank you so much! 💙💙

au #4. the moment you look into their eyes... you just know.

pairing: mat barzal x reader word count: 1.2k

They always said, the day you found your soulmate… you just know. It was something in their eyes, they always said, like everything finally clicked in your soul, both halves finally complete after years of being separated by time and distance.

As the years went by, it seemed probable to you that you’d never meet your soulmate. There was never any twitch inside, never a pull or a need to go somewhere you weren’t. You had deduced it to the fact your soulmate wasn’t looking for you simultaneously, they didn’t care to find you, or they just didn’t care to find you yet.

Everyone had their examples of the worst way they’ve met their soulmate. Some while they were out for dinner with their significant other at the time, some in the middle of a rivalry high school football game, and some? Well, some apparently met in the middle of a National Hockey League game.

Number Thirteen’s eyes bore into yours from his spot on the bench, his entire body turned so he could stare at you, a look of confusion slowly fading into a look of understanding, and then he was shoving into number nineteen. Beauvillier, as his jersey said, whipped around to look over the crowd, his eyes eventually falling on you just rows back from their bench.

You could feel it, every time number thirteen looked at you, every time your eyes met for even a second. He was the person you had been waiting for, for so many years, and who was to even say you’d see him again after the game?

Both gazes were ripped off you when their line was told to get on the ice, number 13, or Mathew Barzal as your parents had told you the moment they realized what was going on. Mat had tried to keep his focus on the ice, on the puck on his stick, on the weaving players around him.

Everyone could see the distraction in his movements, the puck flying far left of the net, his speed not up to the caliber it usually was. After two periods of impeccable hockey from the Islanders’ forward, just to crash midway through the third, his teammates were confused and so were his fans.

The end of the game came quicker than you were hoping, Mat’s eyes attempting to never leave yours as he went down the tunnel. The tunnel walls cut through that almost immediately, disappointment settling in your stomach when you realized it was unlikely you’d be able to get a chance to see him again until God knows when.

“We could wait, darling? Maybe he’ll send someone to look for you?” shrugging your shoulders gently, you pursued your lips as you looked around, people eager to get out of the arena to miss the traffic that they were going to inevitably be stuck in regardless.

“No point, probably, like anyone’s even going to be able to make it through all these people. May as well just—”

Your words were cut off by the sound of something slamming against the glass behind you, all three pairs of eyes turning their bodies to look at the source. The puck didn’t leave a mark on the glass, but the person staring back at you through it sure left a mark on you.

He was yelling something, his voice illegible by the chatter throughout the arena. It was easy to read Mat’s lips when he was only saying two words multiple times in a row, hoping you’d eventually be able to hear him, or at least try to.

“Stay there,” you could even see the huff in his voice, the aggravation from the crowd taking forever to clear out, and not quietly at that.

You nodded your head back, a look of awe in your eyes as he grinned up at you cheekily. Winking at you, he quickly made his way back down the tunnel again, two of his teammates peering out around him to see what he was so eager to get to after the game.

“We’ll go wait in the car, hun. Give you some time to… acquaint yourself,” nodding at her, you watched both your parents follow the departing fans as you sat back in your seat, thumbing through your phone and eagerly looking around you every few seconds.

It was only minutes later when you heard footsteps slamming down the stairs next to you, most of the building cleared out. Turning to the sound, you were instantly met with the same eyes that had just… made it click inside of you. The pull was even stronger with you being so close to one another, even more eager to encourage you to get closer to the man now just steps away from you.

“Couldn’t have like… come to a game that wasn’t dire for our playoff push, huh? Already distracting me and I don’t even know your name?”

You couldn’t help the guffaw that fell from your lips at his words, a small grin taking over your face as you stood up and extended your hand towards him. “Y/N, sorry for distracting you. Fate works in funny ways, Barzal.”

Nodding his head with a laugh, his hand instantly engulfed yours and before you realized it, he was pulling you into a gentle hug, his arms wrapping around your back as his chin gently placed itself on the top of your head. It didn’t take much thought to hug back. For the fact he had just played almost an hour of hockey, he didn’t even smell awful.

Pulling back, the grin never leaving his face as he looked down at you. “Never thought I’d meet my soulmate, to be honest with ya. Tito, Beau, Anthony Beauvillier, always told me to just wait it out, suck it up and eventually you’d come around. Em, his soulmate, showed up almost four months ago. Guess I had to top him by finding mine in the middle of a game, huh?”

Shrugging your shoulders, you just laughed and nodded your head. “Pretty sure it’s a double-whammy for him too, you’re beautiful, and our first look is ten times better than his story.”

“Oh, I’m sure his soulmate and their story are just as beautiful. Just maybe not as great as ours.”

Nodding his head, Mat just shrugged his shoulders as he gestured to the teammate that was now standing at the top of the stairs to your aisle.

“They met in a Walmart parking lot in the middle of a snowstorm back near his hometown, he almost ran her over with his car. Tito always says she came around swinging before they even made eye contact, you’ll love them, everyone does.”

“Are we going to keep talking about your teammates and their soulmates, or are you ever going to kiss yours?”

Surging forward at your words, all elements of the previous conversation now gone when Mat pressed his lips to yours. The fireworks in your brain set off immediately, the butterflies in your stomach jumping around the moment your lips made contact for the first time. It was definitely something you wouldn’t mind happening forever, his lips eagerly pressing against yours as his hand cupped your cheek, the smile pressed into your lips a clear sign that he was thinking the same.

note: im literally obsessed with you, thank you for being my biggest supporter always!! i hope this blurb is fit perfect to the request, and thank you for requesting, ily <3

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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

Text

Never Have I Ever - Harry Styles

this is very random and just a lil somethin’, bc i secretly dream about being on one of these shows and meeting one of my crushes lmao, not me pretending to be at an interview in my own kitchen, hah, not at all!

hi hello so im adding this after this was posted. i randomly turned this into a series so you can find further parts for this in the series masterpost!

word count: 1.8k

pairing: Harry x actress!reader

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

“It’s so good to have you here, it’s been quite some time since the last time you sat in this chair, am I right?” Ellen asked with a warm smile as you nodded.

“Yeah, I’ve been busy, I guess,” you chuckle tugging your hair behind your ear.

“I mean, of course. You starred in two movies since then and even got nominated for an Emmy as well for your role in The Umbrella Academy!” she lists and the audience starts cheering on your successes. “Of course you’ve been busy, but I’m glad you had time to drop by for a talk. So, let’s talk about your upcoming movie. You’ll be co-stars with Zendaya and Finn Wolfhard, it’s a quite interesting cast.”

“Yes! I’m very excited to work with them, I just met Zendaya the other day and though I’M yet to meet Finn I’m sure we will get along well.”

“What was your first impression about Zendaya?”

“Oh, she is very sweet and funny, I think working with her will be more like just a fun activity,” you admit chuckling and Ellen nods in agreement.

“I bet. Alright. So let’s talk about quarantine, it was a rather huge part of the year, where did you spend it?”

“I went home to my family, so I quarantined with them in my hometown.”

“And what did you do mostly?”

“We played a lot of board games and my mom taught me to cook,” you admit with a shy chuckle.

“Yeah, we had the luck to see parts of that,” Ellen chuckles as a video of you and your mom in the kitchen appears on the big screen behind you. It was posted to your Instagram when she attempted to teach you how to make her famous meatloaf. “It seems like you are a natural talent in the kitchen.”

“Well, I haven’t burned it down, so it’s going fine,” you chuckle.

“Alright, and what else did you do? Seen any good movies or discovered some new artists in the world of music?”

“Oh, absolutely. I definitely watched everything I’ve been postponing and I got to listen to new music, so now I have a few new favorites,” you admit smiling.

“Have you been listening to Harry Styles lately?” she asks and you find the question a little odd and very… specific.

“I mean, yes, but it wasn’t anything new, I really like his music,” you admit truthfully. “He is a great artist for sure.”

“Have you been at any of his concerts by any chance?” she asks and you notice that the audience is getting a little excited over something, but you don’t pay too much attention to it.

“Not yet, but I hope it’s gonna happen one day.”

“Well, I think I can get you tickets to see him,” a voice speaks up from behind you and immediately, the audience starts cheering as your head snaps around and you see none other than Harry Styles standing behind you. Your mouth hangs open as you feel yourself blushing, he is so tall and handsome, dressed in a bright blue suit with a silver shirt underneath, smiling down at you widely as he walks around the armchairs to greet you.

“Oh shit, I was not expecting this,” you breathe out as you stand up and hug him shortly before he moves over to greet Ellen as well.

“’M glad you like my music, Love,” he smiles as he sits in the armchair next to you and you swear you see him wink at you.

“We thought you wouldn’t mind our other guest joining in,” Ellen explains Harry’s appearance.

“Not at all,” you smile shaking your head. Harry has been your celebrity crush for quite a while, but the two of you just never crossed paths, until now.

“’S very nice to meet yeh,” he nods in your way.

“Same goes for you.”

“Okay, so now that Harry is here, I thought that we could play a little game,” Ellen announces reaching for something next to her armchair.

“Oh man,” you breathe out earning a round of laughter from the audience. “Last time we played something you asked me the most embarrassing burning questions!” you whine thinking back how you had to admit that you sleep with your lights on when it’s raining outside.

“We’ll do something similar this time too,” she chuckles before handing out two round boards to you and Harry as well.

“Oh fo’ fuck’s sake!” Harry groans making the audience laugh again. “Not this!”

“I know you loved it when we played it the last time,” Ellen grins as Harry hides his face behind the board that’s now showing his I HAVE sign towards the cameras. “We’re gonna play Never Have I Ever, I think you both know the rules.”

“Yes, this is why I want to run away now,” you mumble under your breath.

“I’m going with yeh,” Harry smirks at you finally letting his board drop to his knees. Seemingly, the audience is enjoying your misery.

“Don’t be babies, it’s gonna be fun!” “For who? Not me!” Harry exclaims making everyone in the studio laugh. “Should’ve asked what we’re gonna do before I said yes.”

“Too late, Harry. Alright, let’s start,” Ellen announces as she takes her card in her hands, picking the first one and she reads the lines on it. “Never have I ever had a crush on someone I worked with.”

You huff as you turn your board so the I HAVE side is facing the camera, while Ellen has the same side showing, but Harry shows the I HAVE NEVER.

“Never?” you ask Harry.

“Well, what do yeh mean by working with?” he asks with narrow eyes as he taps on his chin.

“Anyone you had any relations with through a job.”

“Well then…” he sighs turning the board, earning some cheering.

“Okay. Never have I ever drunk texted someone and regretted it in the morning,” Ellen continues with the next question.

“Oh, too often,” you blurt out holding up the I HAVE side.

“What did yeh write?” Harry asks with a cheeky smile while he holds up the same side.

“Well, there are just too many, I can’t choose,” you admit laughing. “I often tend to write down my feelings when I had a little too much to drink and then send it without a second thought.”

“Then I better get yeh drunk to find out what yeh think about me,” Harry teases and you hear a loud “ooh” coming from the audience while you can only hope your make up covers the blush on your cheeks.

“I’d need your number for that to happen,” you say arching an eyebrow at him.

“That’s something we can easily fix,” he smirks.

“Okay, before the two of you go on your first date right away, let’s finish the game,” Ellen jokes and you both turn to her. “Never have I ever kissed someone I didn’t know.”

“What do you mean by knowing someone?” you ask to clarify.

“Let’s say you didn’t even know their name,” she adds and as you think about it, you hold up the I HAVE NEVER side first, but then flip it over.

“Oh, something popped into yeh mind?” Harry teases while he holds up the I HAVE side as well.

“I guess I just want to forget about it, but I can’t,” you admit chuckling awkwardly.

“Were you drunk or you just didn’t care to ask for their name?” Ellen questions.

“I’ve had quite a few drinks if I’m being honest. But I think he told me his name, I just didn’t catch it,” you admit.

“Poor guy, he is completely forgotten,” Harry chimes in shaking his head in a dramatic way.

“Alright, we have two more questions. Never have I ever had a friend with benefits.”

“This game sucks!” you snap as you hold up the I HAVE side, making the audience laugh. “You’re making me look like such a bad person!” you whine to Ellen.

“Don’t feel so bad, Harry is in the same shoe!” she chuckles and turning to the man on your right you see that Harry has the same side showing and a very cheeky smirk on his lips.

“How did it end?” you ask out of curiosity. You know how yours ended, in a horrible fight, because he wanted more, but you were in it just for the fun.

“Not in the best way, if I’m bein’ honest,” he clears his throat leaning back in his seat. “How about yours?”

“Same,” you nod chuckling.

“I guess it was a learning lesson for the both of you,” Ellen smirks before reading the last question. “Never have I ever ghosted somebody.”

“Shit,” you mumble, trying to hide your smirk as you hold up the I HAVE side. Harry thinks to himself before doing the same. Leaning forward he checks yours and your eyes meet for a moment.

“I think it would be an honor to anyone to be ghosted by yeh,” he teases you making you roll your eyes. “Wha’? ‘M telling the truth!” he chuckles.

“Wanna get on the list of my ghosted people?” you joke raising your eyebrows at him and he immediately holds his hands up.

“Would rather not.” He places a hand over his heart before smiling in your way sweetly. “Tha’ would break m’ heart.”

“Oh come on!” you chuckle feeling the heat crawling up your neck and cheeks as the audience lets out a soft “aww” at his words.

“Alright, thank you for playing, I think we found out some interesting things about the both of you.”

“Thanks for embarrassing us,” you add mumbling as you hand her back the board.

“It was a pleasure,” she chuckles. “We’ll be right back after a short break, please stay with us, we have more from Y/N and Harry coming right in your way, so stay tuned!” she announces as the crowd cheers.

“Friends with benefits, huh?” Harry asks smirking in your way as you fix your dress. You just shrug your shoulder trying to look casual when you feel so intimidated sitting next to him.

“Had to try it, I guess,” you admit.

“I get it,” he chuckles. “So, if I were to ask for yeh number, would I eventually be ghosted as well?”

You have to bite into your bottom lip to hide your growing smile at his attempt to flirt with you.

“We’ll see. You gotta ask for it first,” you tell him with a knowing smile, hoping to look flirty and light, not the nervous wreck that you truly feel like talking to him.

“I think my dressing room is two doors down yours, so expect me to drop by after this,” he smirks, making your heart skip a beat before Ellen starts speaking and the taping continues.

NEXT PART

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader

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thatsarcasticgemini · 2 years

Note

hi! I was wondering if I could request a fluffy Ash imagine. I was wondering if it could be related to the song Talk to You by Ricky Montgomery. I had the idea that maybe Ash and y/n knew each other from his hometown and they had feelings for each other but never acted on it and they were close friends but lost contact with each other and then they found their way back but he was afraid of talking to her again bc he didn't think she remembered him but she does remember him and they're both happy

I sure can. I am so so sorry about the super duper long wait. My mental health failed me. I didn't really have time for anything. Thank you so so much Nonnie. I am in love with your idea. So here you have it. I used she/her pronouns. Hope you like it! I switched it up a bit, feel free to scold me if needed :)

The new us

Ash Lynx x fem!reader

Tokyo was a very busy city. You could see so many faces on the street, so many people waiting to get on the metro and just...so many people in general. Ash often felt overwhelmed, especially when he saw a face that reminded him of someone from his childhood. That was until he saw a very familiar face.

He was already running late to a photoshoot. It was on the other side of the city. As he was passing building after building, he happened to look inside a small cafe. The glass was clear enough to see the faces of the people inside. And there he saw her. Stopping in his tracks, he leaned closer to the glass to take a better look. She had some sort of apron with some animals and flowers on it. On her left strap was a pin made from a bottle cap and on her right was another pin made from a really really old bullet.

Summer was a very hot season. Being in the countryside didn't make it any better. The river side was packed with kids and young teens. The water was a source of relief for everyone. 10 year old Ash didn't like getting naked. He also knew he would suffer some pretty bad consequences if he came home to his father with wet clothes. The little 8 year old girl holding his hand was a lot happier than him. Her smile was so big, it almost made Ash smile as well. But nothing about his other surroundings was happy, so he chose to keep his happiness internal. Some teens 2-3 years older than him were looking at them, some laughing, some pointing, but somehow she didn't really seem to mind all that much. He really really wanted to punch them, but the peak of his "punching them so hard they faint" feeling was when a 14 year old boy named William Wills, who was known for tormenting younger girls, yelled out to her.

"Hey! Y/N! Did you guys pay each other? Like...how much does he owe you now, since you look so much better. Look at those doe eyes. Do you have the same big eyes when you go down on him?"

Ash got what he meant and was ready to trow some punches, but looking down at her very confused face, he realized that what William had said to her just now, to her 8 year old innocent happy mind, didn't really make any sense. If he punched him, he would have to explain to her why. Her mind wouldn't be as happy if she knew. She might as well look at him with disgust if she knew what had gone down in the home just up the hill. So he opted for a safer option: pulling her closer and kissing the top of her head. She let out a very childish squeal and moving her head to look up at him.

"Ash...why?" "Cause i wanna keep you safe. Also...cause you are my only friend." "But what about Griff? You said you are best friends." "We still are. But you can be my other bestfriend. Two is always better than one." Ash was smiling down at her, but her face was getting a little sad, her smooth forhead twisting in a sad frown. "But you are my only friend." Tears were almost spilling from her big eyes and it hurt him so much. He really had to say that hm? Yeah, good job Ash! "Y/N, Griff is my brother. He doesn't really count. If you had sibling they would be you other best friends too. Out of other children, you are my only best friend. I'm sorry. Here! Have this. I made it myself."

Ash reached the pocket of his jeans, taking off a pin made from an old bullet. Giving it to her, he pressed one more kiss to her hairline. She looked at the bullet and smiled ever so brightly, the events with the Wills boy already forgotten.

He knew he had a job, but she was there. She was right in front of him. The photoshoot could wait for a day. The company was small, they could wait, they needed him, not the other way around. He toom the blazer off and went in. The coffee shop was cute. It fit the person he rememberd her to be. He sat down at a random table and looked over the menu. Aroound 5 minutes into his stay, a girl popped out of nowhere. She had piercings everywhere, her hair was messy. She looked nice, but she wasn't the one he was looking for.

"You ready to order?" "I...uhm...I was looking for..." "It's ok Amaya, I'll take care of it for him." There she was. He let out a sigh. Oh shit wait. What if she didn't know who he was. He shouldn't say anything anyway.

"Just a blueberry tea with a white chocolate cookie please." "Are you going to pretend not to know who I am? Fine by me. Coming right up sir." He tried grabbing her wrist, but she shook him off. "Wait. Y/N please. It's been what 10 years since..." "12 years since you left me. A blueberry tea and a white chocolate cookie coming right up." "Listen, i know you're upset and you didn't deserve that but let me..." "...make it up to you? Not gonna happen Aslan, don't wanna see you again. Don't know why I started that convo."

"Ash, you don't have to leave!" "I so do. I am so done with this shitty town. I'm leaving for the big city. I can have a life there. This place is a dump. And the people here can go kill themselves." She didn't seem to approve of his statement, looking up at him with a tear stained face.

"You said i was your best friend. So why would you be friends with a bad person and then leave. Ash please stay! We can leave when we are older. We can go together then. Please don't leave me!" "Not everything is about you ok? Did you ever stop to consider what happened to me? Did you ever think about how it made me feel?" "You always say that you prtect me from what happened to you, but you've never told me what it was. Ash, tell me. Don't leave like this." "No. I won't tell you. You're nine. You wouldn't get it" "How would you know?" "I just do, Y/N. Drop it. Let go of my arm! I'll miss the bus." "No! I love you Ash. You're my only friend. I'll rip the flannel holding onto you if i have to."

And with that, Ash pulled himself away from her, taking off his backpack and flannel and throwing the shirt at her. Turning on his heel, he ran to the bus stop, getting on the bus, not even waving her goodbye, leaving the young girl on her knees, crying.

"I want to tell you..." "No no no no. You don't have the right to want anything at all. You have the right to go to hell. You told me nothing back then and now I don't want you to say anything." "You have to listen to me. I was a kid. I was afraid. I was alone." "Like hell you were. I was with you. You were all I had. But don't worry. 'you wouldn't get it'. Well i did get it after you left. I got everything you said that day. But not from you. From William fucking Willis and his friends while they were pulling on my shirt and throwing sand in my eyes. Go to hell Aslan!" "Did they do anything to you?" "Wouldn't you like to know?" "Please let me talk. Let me tell you why I left. I had a good reason. Please, Y/N." "Funny how you are the pleading one now." "I'm going to wait here and follow you around for as long as it takes until you hear me out." "You hurt me and i don't want to talk to you. I took the cap pin you had on your flannel and tried to move on. Get out of the shop, go on the small alley on the left and wait there. You have five minutes to convince me. Five. And I decided wether we see each other again after that." "Yes, ma'am." That truly was all he needed. Just a second to have a small talk. The alley was not as bad as the ones is the USA are. This one was about as long as the shop, front and back room. She was as punctual as ever, two minutes and she was already in front of him.

"Get to talking, Aslan. Or Ash. Or whatever the hell they call you. Your five minutes begin now." "Right. I have no clue how to word this, but I am so sorry. After I left town I went to live in the city. But life for a kid with no money, little clothing items and no relatives to help is a tough life. A man came to me, he told me he had been watching me and knew I needed help. But the help he offered was a curse. Men came to see me whenever they felt like it, took turns using me, took pictures, recorded the entire ordeal, paid that man well and left. That was my life for years. I managed to break the cycle and got revenge on mostly everyone involved. I moved to Japan. I visited the town, well visited sounds as if it was fun, the right word is I went into town. I looked for you and asked around. They told me you moved to an aunt of yours as soon as you turned, what 13?" "Her name was Celeste, my great aunt. We moved to France for a couple years, but she died and left me just enough to move and get a good apartment. I moved to Japan on a whim. How did you end up here?" "A friend of mine, who was a huge support durring my revenge time. He told me to start fresh. It seems that I have moved on, all memories of my childhood forgotten. The truth is, I have been imagining this moment for years. The moment when I would see you again. I hoped you would hear me out, try to understand and maybe forgive me." "Forgiveness is something you have to earn, Aslan. I won't let you off the hook easily. I will make this as hard as I can. Just know that I heard you, I am trying to understand you and will try to forgive you." "Earn forgivene...you'll let me see you again? After today, i mean. We'll see each other again?" "My shift ends at 6 today. You can wait 7 more hours. I am planning on dancing tonight, so don't wear anything formal. We can talk over dinner. I'm not sure I understand how you got revenge on them, but I'll let you explain." "6, dance, nothing formal, dinner. Understood. I'll see you here." "I'll see you here, Ash."

#banana fish #ash lynx #ash lynx x reader

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dupliciaa · 2 years

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So like i def can see why you say that but this is kinda something i’d like to talk about in regards to Dominique. I wanna preface this by saying that if you do headcanon Domi as bisexual, you’re totally valid and i am by no means telling you you’re wrong ! though making definitive statements such as this isn’t really too great imo. this is under read more bc this got very long. also i wanna say i��m bad with words so if this doesn’t make sense i’m really sorry i did my best.

i’m speaking as a lesbian who has had their share of male “crushes” as childhood friends in the past and who has experienced the comphet i think dominique is experiencing. when i was a kid, i had a friend that was a boy who i was really close to. we had lots of similar interests and we played every day at recess all throughout elementary school. everyone sorta joked about us being sweethearts. you know how parents joke with children about their friendships of the opposite gender? it’s always weird and oddly accusing, claiming the two children are in love before kids even know what being in love means. it was that sort of situation, so i grew an attachment to him, thinking ‘oh the adults say i have to like him, so i do.’ anyway, after elementary school, he moved away and that was the end of that.

the same thing happened with this boy that lived down the street with me: we’re really close friends, adult start asking if we’re dating, the whole shebang. it was around 6 or 7th grade at the time, so kids at school are always talking about crushes and stuff, so i always just said the boy i had a crush on was this boy. flash forward to later in the year and the first boy moved back to our hometown so i convinced myself i was “in love” with both of them when in reality, they were just the closest friends i had and i cared about them in a strictly platonic way.

the reason i’m saying all of this is because i know from experience how easy it is to confuse romantic love with platonic love, especially when it comes to childhood friends. when you spend so much time with someone in such developmental stages of your life, it’s hard to distinguish what’s romantic and what’s not. you go on to think that your love for your friend is you longing to be something more with them. i think dominique is confusing her feelings for noe for romantic feelings rather than familial or platonic and i’m going to explain why.

i do want to start out by saying that noe is the only man in dominique’s life. i’d even go as far as to say he’s her only friend until she meets vanitas and jeanne. dominique seems to isolate herself from others. whether that’s because of her work or because she simply doesn’t like herself is uncertain, but we can infer that the only person she has in her life that she trusts is noe. being so close to someone and relying on them like that is enough for you to confuse the feelings of platonic/familial and romantic love, especially if you’ve never been shown familial love, which i’m assuming dominique hasn’t because of the way her siblings treat her. the simple fact that she wants him to stay with her and clings so tightly onto him only proves that she doesn’t want to let go of the childhood friend she’s had for so long.

moving on, right from the moment we meet dominique, we see her flirting with the a woman right off the bat. first impressions are the most important and for a character as important as dominique to be introduced in such a manner, it leads one to believe at the very least, she has a preference for women. i know what you’re probably thinking: she introduces herself as noe’s fiance. that once again brings us back to the comphet, as well as remembering it was just a joke. as a child being attached to someone like a childhood friend, you tend to fantasize domestic life with them, marrying them, etc., just because it’s convenient to settle on what you know rather than imagining an unknown life with someone unfamiliar.

of course i know simply flirting with a woman does not make you a lesbian, but i wanna talk about the dance scene in chapter 12. she takes jeanne to dance with her because she seems to want to make noe jealous somehow, but we can see as they’re dancing together, dominique’s attitude changes from conniving to carefree and joyous. and we once again see her flirting with a woman, saying "i possess no passions that deserve priority over admiring a beautiful flower that blooms before me.” basically saying that nothing is more important than admiring jeanne right now, not her status or anything that could get in the way. something like that goes a little bit beyond flirting to me. it isn’t just an attempt to fluster jeanne, it’s outright saying that currently, jeanne is the most important thing in the moment. this really just sums up the fact that dominique’s words to jeanne have a lot more weight to them than something one would say to a friend. she also doesn’t say anything like this to noe. it could be argued that she doesn’t say stuff like that to him because she’s afraid of rejection, but that doesn’t stop her from saying them to jeanne. i think in her subconscious she knows that she doesn’t love noe like that, so she stops herself from saying such things to him.

now i wanna get into the most damning evidence to me and that’s when jeanne is asking for advice from dominique on how to deter vanitas from liking her. jeanne assumes dominique would have a lot of practice in getting unwanted men to leave her alone, to which dominique has these inner monologues, saying that she knows nothing of the sort and that she’s only popular with the girls and veronica usually chases men away. this brings me back to dominique flirting with nox. we don’t see dominique flirting with any men in the series whatsoever. she hardly even flirts with noe. all of her flirting has mostly gone to jeanne. the fact that dominique says she doesn’t know how to deter men and that she’s only popular with girls further proves the point that she just doesn’t fuck around with men. she doesn’t care to. she has no interest in it. because she’s a lesbian.

i want to really drive in the fact that a woman showing interest in one man is not the end all be all proof that she is attracted to men. there are many lesbians who have experienced comphet in their life. sexuality is confusing and hard to navigate and not every experience is the same. everyone has different stories, different experiences, and quite honestly, being in love with a childhood friend is so very easy to do, especially if you’re not yet aware of your own sexuality.

so to sum up, just because dominique shows interest in one man that she’s childhood friends with, that does not mean she’s bi, it just means that she’s formed a very strong attachment to him because he’s the only person that’s ever been there for her. and it’s reason to believe why she’s a lesbian instead given the facts listed above. now of course anyone is welcome to disagree with me and i’m not claiming that she is for 100% a lesbian, i’m only saying that you can believe it as one way or the other considering my own lesbian experience is very similar.

#dominique de sade #vanitas no carte #vnc #i'm so afraid to post this god #i'm mostly worried about not making sense #the case study of vanitas #vnc analysis

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