#god it's really bad......but so strangely compelling

[sixosix]

and his voice is a familiar sound | scaramouche

forced proximity + childhood friends reuniting, humor, kissing and tension. suggestive implications and suggestive humor, a bit of scara’s mommy issues, wc 5k

ft. a down bad jealous bf scaramouche, bffs heizou and kazuha, and aether bc aether always has to be there

“If I ask you to come with us for a vacation, would you say yes?”

Your bedroom was already too cramped for one person, with what you could afford with your money after quitting your part-time job. It made it incredibly difficult for all parties involved when you invited someone over, especially when that person had no concept of personal space. You barely looked up from the pages of your book, humming halfheartedly to whatever Heizou is saying. You heard vacation and instantly decided to not waste your time.

Heizou must have sensed these thoughts, too, because he forces himself into your field of view by nearly climbing over your lap. “Hey, look at me. Would you say yes?”

“Heizou!” you hissed, pushing him off before Heizou could wrinkle the pages of the book that’s definitely overdue for borrowing time. You started to think about taking another part-time job if your friends kept inviting themselves over and invading your personal space.

Heizou looked at you, his face doing a complicated combination of a frown and a smug grin. “Come on. You never join us on trips…”

“For good reason,” you said, gesturing to the lapful of Heizou you are currently getting bombarded with.

“You’re so mean,” Heizou laughed, thankfully getting off your lap. He refused to let go of you, however, immediately wrapping an arm over your shoulder and pressing up against your side. This must be one of his techniques to make the people he was questioning feel restricted. It was working. “How will you get yourself to settle for a nice, young man with that attitude? What are you even reading?”

“I grabbed whatever book had a pleasing cover so I can tune your nonsense out.” It wasn’t exactly a lie.

“What?” Heizou clapped the book shut and turned to you with the eyes of a reprimanding mother. “I swear I’m being serious. Can’t you consider it for even a minute? You’re breaking my heart. Plus, Kazuha’s the one who’s inviting us out.”

Hmm. What a compelling argument. Heizou knew that no one could ever say no to Kazuha. You wouldn’t really care if your absence would break Heizou’s heart, but Kazuha’s disappointed eyes were enough to put a god to their knees.

You zeroed in on Heizou’s wording. “Who’s ‘us’?”

Heizou started listing each with a raise of a finger. “Just Kazuha and Aether—and a friend we met recently. Kazuha invited him.”

You frowned. You didn’t know Aether visited again. “How the hell did Aether get invited?” Then, upon careful reflection: “And who’s the new friend?”

“If he was around, why not, right?” Heizou laughed, carefully setting the overdue book aside from your view. “The new friend’s Scaramouche. Have you met him before?”

What a strange name. Kazuha always managed to befriend people from all over, like a child bringing home turtles and a new species of bugs. You made a note to look him up. “Never heard of him.”

He hummed. “Said he came from Sumeru but he looked pretty Inazuman to me. Funny guy. He’s like a disgruntled baby brother.”

“And you only met him, what, recently? Why is he invited to our group already?” you asked, like the territorial person you are. How come it seemed like you were the last to know about this guy?

Aether was alright. Aether came back every few months to check up on everyone and got roped into all kinds of things with your friends, so you knew him well enough already. You liked his long braid. Heizou and Kazuha had been your friends for as long as you could remember being a college student.

Heizou grinned, patting your head. “Scaramouche’s nice, I promise. You wouldn’t even notice he’s there.”

At your dubious stare, Heizou amended, “C’mon, do you think I’m the type to befriend an asshole?”

Yes, but Heizou wasn’t the type to befriend a major asshole whose opinions he vehemently disagreed with, and he thought belonged better in jail, so you had to think about it for a bit. At the very least, this new guy didn’t seem like a criminal.

Your friends loved traveling, with Kazuha mostly being the culprit, but you liked staying inside most of the time. They never forced you to go with them, so why was Heizou being suspiciously persistent today?

“I think he’s your type,” Heizou finally said, caving in.

“You’re trying to hook me up with him?”

“Not exactly… but you two would seem cute.” He went silent for a thoughtful moment. “I mean, I wouldn’t be opposed if you slept together.”

You made a face.

Heizou laughed brightly. “Alright, alright. You can go back to being the good poster student you are if you promise to think about it. Seriously. Kazuha’s moving to Liyue soon—he’s probably inviting us out because of that.”

“I’ll think about it,” you said, reaching around for your book.

You would. What Heizou said about Kazuha made you remember that there are only a few weeks left until this is all over—then, after that, you all might go your separate ways. That thought floated around your mind for a little while as Heizou made himself comfortable on your bed, sighing before he dozed off.

You sighed, shuffling to give him space. “If this is your way of trying to make me get laid, try to at least be subtle and not weird me out before I even meet the guy.”

You stalked Kazuha’s Insta to search up this Scaramouche guy and nearly dropped your phone.

scaramouche11206. It was empty, entirely useless for your research. Scaramouche’s profile was a public account, had zero posts, and had four people he was following. It was Kazuha, Aether, Heizou, and a Vahumana Darshan update page.

You checked the tagged posts, and your jaw dropped to the ground.

Scaramouche was Kunikuzushi.

Heizou was taking a group selfie in the image, his tongue stuck out and winking while the camera showed two other men. On the left was Kazuha, with his ever-polite smile, then on the other, with the all-black getup was what the tags said was scaramouche11206.

It was a little difficult to tell why you were enamoured with the masked face with a short hime cut for a moment, but the piercing stare to the camera couldn’t be mistaken. It was a minute of staring before it clicked. This was your Kunikuzushi.

You dialed Heizou before you could even think about it.

“What…? It’s five a.m.” He sounded like he just woke up, “What’s up?”

You swiped back to the image of Scaramouche, as if staring at it any longer would imprint each pixel to your brain and bring him to life before you. “Hey, where’s Kazuha? Tell him I’m going.”

YEARS AGO.

Summer. The cicadas rang in your ears. They chirped about as you and Kunikuzushi trudged further into the forest. Sunlight peeked through the leaves, splashing Kunikuzushi’s beautiful face in a delicate glow.

Komorebi. Shadows scattered on the ground. Kunikuzushi lifted his head and turned to you. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

His voice was quiet, but even with the wind and the singing cicadas, you could hear him loud and clear. You could pick out his voice from a crowd. Your heart would know where to find him.

“I like looking at you,” you said. “I like you.”

He accepted the answer and continued walking. You beamed. Usually, Kunikuzushi would scoff and bat your words away, hiding his flustered face. But he didn’t.

Longing. Kunikuzushi turned back to you, stopping in his steps. You nearly bumped onto his back. “Do you like me enough to marry me?”

Was this a marriage proposal? You tried to think of you and Kunikuzushi, walking down aisles and reciting vows, and almost laughed. But then you tried to think of anyone else. You tried to think of a life without Kunikuzushi.

You thought of Kunikuzushi with anyone else and nearly threw up in his face. “You’re the only one for me.”

“Even if I hurt you?”

You frowned. “You would never hurt me, Kuni.”

Kunikuzushi’s expression crumpled. He could never hide anything from you; he was too expressive, eyes round and lip trembling. Your heart sunk to your stomach. You reached for his hands and forced him to look at you. “Kuni, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

He looked at the ground. “I said I didn’t want to live with her anymore. I didn’t really think Mom would make Aunt Nahida take me.”

The cicadas faded. The world fell into a hush. Your grip on his hands grew weak. “What?”

Kunikuzushi didn’t have a good relationship with his mother; you knew that. They were complicated. They always fought and he grew up to loathe her. You knew that. But you didn’t think…

You breathed in deeply. It was not Kunikuzushi’s fault. It was not Ei’s—and definitely not Nahida’s fault. It was just the way things go sometimes.

You forced a laugh, hoping to ease the troubled expression on his face. “Were you proposing because you’re moving away?”

Kunikuzushi blushed. “Shut up.”

Your face softened. He was always so cute when his face was as red as the red by his eyes.

Kunikuzushi inhaled sharply, taking your hands and looking at you with a determined glint in his eyes. “If I were going to ask you out, I would do it better than anyone who would try to marry you. So don’t entertain them.”

The trip’s plan was basically swimming when you could, staying at a hotel, driving out of the hotel to eat somewhere cheaper, and it would be stretched out for a few days. All in all, it didn’t sound too bad. With the type of people you were going out with, you were expecting a lot more drinking (Kazuha) and near-death-related activities (Aether). Although Heizou said it was Kazuha’s trip, he was apparently mistaken.

“It was originally for Scaramouche and his family, but his mother had last-minute changes and couldn’t go,” Kazuha explained as he helped you fit your luggage in the trunk of Aether’s car. “Scaramouche said it would be a waste and told me to invite my friends.”

“Woo-hoo, Scaramouche’s mom!” Heizou cheered.

“When we met her, it seemed like you hated her,” Kazuha mused as Heizou climbed inside the car. You were in the passenger seat while the two were shoved in the back. It seemed that even if you moved to a bigger apartment, you’d end up suffocated by Inazuman men either way.

“Hard not to after hearing Scara’s contempt for her. I’m an empath or something.” 

Aether adjusted the side mirrors. “Are we forgetting anything?”

“Where’s the Scaramouche guy?” you asked.

Heizou cast you a sly smile. “He’s already at the hotel, probably buying us other rooms.”

At least another thing about him hadn’t changed: he’s still disgustingly rich. You did some digging about the hotel, and it was the kind of place you could only dream of even looking at. You suddenly felt severely underdressed for a five-star hotel, with only sweatpants, a duffle bag, and a dream.

“Hmm, I don’t think so,” Kazuha said, and weirdly enough, you caught him looking at you curiously from the sideview mirror.

“No?” Heizou crossed his arms behind his head. “I doubt Scaramouche’s the type to willingly share a room with anyone.”

Aether scoffed, laughing under his breath. “Definitely not with us.”

You looked outside to hide a smile. It seemed that your Kunikuzushi hadn’t really changed drastically. This made you feel better about meeting him again.

“What made you change your mind?” Heizou asked.

You sighed and fell into step along with him as Kazuha and Aether went on ahead. There are families crowding the lobby, draped in gold that matched the fabric of the chandeliers overhead. Their jewelry was brighter than your future. Even the floor smelled expensive.

“Scaramouche did,” you mumbled.

Heizou’s brows lifted to his hairline. “Oh?”

“I mean—I don’t know, I’m not sure yet.” You were absolutely sure, but it’d be embarrassing if he didn’t recognize you at all, and Heizou would think you were just lying. It had been years.

Heizou tilted his head. “Well, whatever it is, I’m rooting for you. And if he fucks up, I know how to pack a punch.”

You didn’t doubt it. Heizou definitely knew how to pack a punch.

The hotel was so fancy and so meant for only rich kids that you and Heizou stood out like sore thumbs by looking around. Some woman your age walked past, her chin high and her steps light. You and Heizou looked at each other, then tried to mimic the same grace as you pair sashayed towards the desk.

“What are you idiots doing?” Aether asked as you reached them.

“Fitting in, unlike you,” Heizou said.

A new voice cut in. “Took you losers long enough.”

Scaramouche turned around after speaking to the clerk, his mouth in a thin line and his stare piercing. He also stood out next to the men in polo with his fingerless gloves and gold rings. He looked like he belonged better on an Inazuman fashion magazine cover than on a hotel vacation with a bunch of losers.

Heizou beamed. “Scara!”

“Hey,” Scaramouche said, then his eyes landed on you.

It was hard to tell if there was any reaction on his face because Heizou went up to him to ruffle his hair, stealing away his attention.

“Thanks for inviting us out. I didn’t know you were the type to want to snuggle with his friends.” Heizou waggled his eyebrows as Scaramouche pushed him away with a hand to Heizou’s face.

Scaramouche wrinkled his nose. “I am not sharing a room with any of you three. You snore, Kazuha snores louder, and I would wake up to Aether’s leg on my stomach the next morning.”

“That was one time,” Aether muttered, blushing.

“How many rooms are reserved?” Kazuha asked.

Scaramouche sighed, craning his neck. He had a really nice side profile. “Still two. The other one with a king and the other with two queens. I was supposed to have the first, but you didn’t tell me you were inviting someone else. This shithole’s booked full now.”

Your gaze fluttered away as they all turned to you. You bit your lip, frowning. Did Scaramouche not recognize you? He was acting like he didn’t. He was treating you like he would any stranger. That upset you, but for the entire car ride, you were also preparing for it. It probably would’ve hurt worse if you hadn’t mentally prepared yourself.

Heizou grinned, slinging an arm over Scaramouche’s shoulder. “I suppose you have no choice but to share a bed with us.”

“No.” Scaramouche picked up his luggage and started rolling away. “Heizou, Kazuha, Aether, you share the king.”

The three men turned to you instead, surprise visible in their expressions. It was exactly because Scaramouche decided to share a room with you, whom he never acknowledged since you arrived.

You wanted to protest. If Scaramouche didn’t recognize you and opted for a choice that didn’t involve sharing a room with anyone, you’d rather sleep on the floor in Kazuha and the others’ room. But Scaramouche was already stepping inside the elevator and was holding the door for you.

You held your gaze to the floor the entire time as Scaramouche pointed at a room and told the three they would sleep there. Scaramouche flashed the card against the door of your room, then stepped inside.

“This one’s ours,” Scaramouche said. You couldn’t detect any hint of emotion.

The room was bigger than the two rooms at your apartment. It had two beds, as Scaramouche said, and a TV across. The room was cold as fuck. You shuddered, and Scaramouche remained unbothered with his layers of clothes that probably cost more than you.

As Scaramouche set his luggage on the bed closest to the window, you gathered the courage to not make this trip any more awkward.

You breathed in deeply. “I’m Y/N—”

“I haven’t forgotten.” He arched an eyebrow as he sat on the edge of his bed, staring at you. “Have you forgotten about me?”

“No, no, of course not,” you said. “I could never forget you, Kunikuzushi.”

You stiffened, thinking it was a mistake and there must’ve been a reason he was called by another name, but you took a look at him and got distracted. His face relaxed when you said his name.

I could never forget you. It was sickeningly true. You can never forget about Kunikuzushi. He was your first love. He was so cute with his wide eyes; and he was very clingy, too, which made him all the more endearing.

But looking at the present Kunikuzushi, with his intense stare and permanently bored expression, he was hot, and you started to think that maybe your type was just Kunikuzushi.

Horror settled in your stomach as Scaramouche flashed a wicked grin.

“Then you wouldn’t mind sleeping with me, would you?”

“He said what?” Heizou cackled, hitting the wall as he threw his head back, laughing.

Scaramouche meant it as sleeping in the same room, but he could have— no, should have worded it better. Scaramouche laid down on his bed right after and went on his phone as if he didn’t say anything at all. You blurted some half-baked excuse and left the room to cry about it in your friends’ room.

When Scaramouche said their room was assigned a king bed, you didn’t expect it to fit five people—and Scaramouche said he wanted it for himself? The bed was incredibly big, almost in a lonely way. You have never seen an Alaskan king bed before, but now, sitting on the edge of it, felt as if you could fit your entire apartment on it.

Kazuha was in between Heizou and Aether, their backs resting on the headboard. They were about to sleep, too, but as soon as you burst in, they settled into position and listened intently. Except Aether, kind of; he was texting his sister, who was demanding a room tour.

“I never thought he would be this bold. I mean, demanding to share a room the moment he laid his eyes on you? Wow,” Heizou said, looking terribly criminal with his expression.

“It is surprising,” Kazuha mused. “I’ve witnessed how women flock to his feet and how he bat them all off like he never saw them.”

An unpleasant feeling washed over, which was weird because why would you be upset? Of course they’d flock to him—with a face like that. He had the looks and the personality that would garner him a lot of masochistic fans if he were a character in a drama.

“Does that happen a lot?” The way you spat it out spelled exactly how upset you are.

“No need to get so jealous, now. After that display, I’m positive that he wants as much as you want him,” Heizou laughed, falling forward and resting his elbows on the mattress. He moved his chin to his palm. He looked like he was going to ask if you wanted to paint nails and curl hairs the next second.

Your face felt hot. What was this conversation? You’d much prefer painting nails than talking about this. “I don’t want him!”

Heizou arched an eyebrow. “No?”

Even Kazuha looked doubtful, which was enough of a blow.

“I’m just confused,” you insisted. “You know what happens when you’re in a room alone with an objectively attractive guy? You get confused.”

“I get it,” Aether said, setting his phone aside to share his insight. “This is your sexual awakening.”

“What? No!”

“It definitely is,” Heizou agreed. “Why else are you crying about this to us?”

There was a sense of impending doom at realizing that Heizou was brewing some horrible, horrible thoughts in that head of his. “To stop feeding into my madness!”

Heizou clicked his tongue. “How do you think he feels? His childhood best friend came back to his life looking like that—I’m surprised he hasn't eaten you right up yet.”

You didn’t know what was more horrifying: Heizou implying he thought you were hot, or him implying that he thought Scaramouche thought you were hot.

Your face must’ve looked like a constipated mix between flustered and horrified; Kazuha chimed in to tell Heizou, “You should be more careful with your words. I’ve never met anyone as possessive as Scaramouche.”

“It’s already a miracle he even remembers me. He wouldn’t get jealous. I doubt he actually wants me that way,” you sighed.

“Oh, but you want him that way?” Heizou asked.

You wanted to slap that expression off Heizou’s face. “Of course I do. He was so cute when we were little—I already liked him then. I didn’t think he’d grow up to be so…”

“Sexual awakening,” Aether said again.

“Ow,” Aether whined when you hit him square on the head.

Reluctantly, you returned to your room. Heizou, Kazuha, and Aether told you to get your shit together and face this not-sexual-awakening like a man. Kazuha didn’t say it, but you could feel that he was also thinking it. And if he ever said it out loud, you’d tell him to go fuck off to Liyue already.

Scaramouche was awake. The door clicked shut, and you faintly felt like those heroines locking themselves up in a room to hook up with someone who they didn’t think was the murderer on the front page right now.

“Where did you go?” he asked.

You tried not to let your surprise show, but Scaramouche was staring so intently that you would’ve failed miserably either way. “The other room.”

The longer you looked at him, the more you realized that Kunikuzushi felt like a fever dream. Being only a few feet away from the guy you used to be so fond of, now grown and had an air of haughtiness that would’ve been a turn-off had it been anyone else— it was doing things to you.

“Are you scared of me?”

You laughed and nearly choked on it when registering that Scaramouche was still looking. It wasn’t something like embarrassment. It was more like laughing unabashedly and then sensing that your hallway crush walked past. Maybe it was a bit of embarrassment.

“No. No, I’m not scared.” You moved to sit on your bed, eyes trained on the wall. “You didn’t tell me you were back.”

“You changed your number. You moved out.”

“Oh.” You did do that. Your apartment was very far from your home.

“And I figured you forgot about me or wanted to forget about me because of what I did to you.”

“Oh.” You wanted to say that he didn’t affect you that much. Life goes on; you meet new people and lose them every day, and all that. But Scaramouche was affecting you that much, especially when he’s only a few feet away from you, looking like he wanted you to pounce him.

Scaramouche grinned lopsidedly. “But I guess I don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

What the hell does that mean? Your heart skipped a beat. Did he figure it out? Were you that obvious with your thoughts about pouncing?

Scaramouche stood up from his bed, moving towards yours slowly. “Are you seeing anyone right now?”

You tried to avoid getting too close by leaning back, but he kept drawing his face closer, bending towards you. You’re one last tilt away from him pinning you down on the bed.

“No,” you blurted before you could even think about it. It was a little difficult to think about anyone else when you were a breath away from kissing. “Why?”

Scaramouche’s eyes narrowed, electric indigo. “Do you still have a crush on me?”

“You’re asking too many questions.”

“We’re catching up. This is how it works, doesn’t it?”

No, it was definitely not how this worked. Your neck was starting to ache with this awkward angle, and he hadn’t even answered your question.

“Do you?” he repeated, hovering above you.

You gave up on the painful angle and laid flat on the bed, frowning up at him. You crossed your arms to achieve the stance of someone who will not back down easily. “How are you so sure I even had a crush on you?”

“You’re telling me I’m wrong?”

What was this? Some fucked up game of 21 questions, but Scaramouche was too high and mighty to follow the rules? You didn’t know what to say to that. You wisely decided to stay silent, glaring up at him.

You probably didn’t look intimidating at all. Scaramouche smiled, much less sharper. Almost fond as his eyes flicked down to somewhere below your nose. “Am I still the only one for you?”

Okay. You would back down easily if he kept looking at you like that.

“You didn’t hurt me, Kuni.” You sighed. “You never could.”

Scaramouche straightened, his face carefully blank. It was much harder to read him like this. You sat up, wanting to ask if it was the wrong thing to say. You couldn’t get the words out because he lunged for a kiss.

You might have gasped. You might have made some embarrassing noise while a laugh rumbled from the back of Scaramouche’s throat. But that was all thrown out the window the moment your eyes fluttered shut and you lost yourself in the sensation of his warm mouth on yours.

He pushed closer, and you were pulled back on the mattress, his arms on either side of your head. Your eyes flew open when Scaramouche nipped at your lip. As if suddenly remembering where and who you were, you forced his chest back and gaped.

“What?” He looked irritated you interrupted him.

“At least say it back!”

“You didn’t even say it,” Scaramouche said, one eyebrow raised.

“I like you, Kunikuzushi.”

Scaramouche turned red and then looked humbled that you saw it. “I still like you, too.”

You looked at him up and down. You asked, but you didn’t want to hear the answer. “And you didn’t have anyone while you were in Sumeru?”

“Of course not,” Scaramouche scoffed. “You think anyone there was worth my time? You think I’d settle for less than you?” He scowled. “How about you? Nevermind, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know. I’d do it better than any of them.”

You laughed, tugging him close with your arms around his neck. If anyone were to come in, they would assume the worst. Then again, maybe Scaramouche had plans to indulge in the worst.

wake up! let’s eat breakfast at the restaurant we saw yesterday!

ask scaramouche. so he can pay for us

Despite the freedom and space of lying on separate queen beds, you and Scaramouche were huddled and pressed close. And despite books in your bag, you were occupied with huddling and pressing close against Scaramouche. You were lying on his chest while he had an arm resting on your stomach.

As soon as Heizou’s texts appeared on the top banner of your screen, you looked up, and Scaramouche looked like he was going to murder someone.

“It’s a joke, probably,” you said. “They don’t see you as a wallet.”

“It’s not a joke,” Scaramouche said. “I don’t really care about that. You and Heizou close?”

“He’s the one who introduced me to Kazuha and the others.” You sat up from the comfortable position and stretched.

“So you’re close.”

“Oh, very much so.” Then you laughed at Scaramouche’s thunderous expression. “Idiot. Why are you jealous? He’s not the one I’m sharing a room with and was making out with last night.”

Scaramouche’s gaze cut down to your neck. He looked extremely pleased.

You and Scaramouche took the elevator down, holding hands throughout. You felt a little giddy. What must this look like to everyone else? They’d all assume you were out with your boyfriend. As you reached your friends, Aether had just started the car. Kazuha slipped into the passenger seat, and Heizou waved at the both of you.

Then Heizou gasped. Aether turned to you and gasped as well.

“What happened to you? You look like you were mauled by a tiger,” Aether asked, scandalized.

“If the tiger had a short hime cut and a thick wallet, maybe,” Heizou mused. You flipped him off and climbed inside the car. Heizou laughed and sat beside you.

Aether frowned. “What kind of tiger would that be?”

You groaned, burying your face in your palms and wishing that lightning would strike you down. You needed coffee. Or a beer. Maybe if you bat your eyelashes and kissed him on the lips, Scaramouche would buy you bottles of wine.

As if summoned by your thoughts, a figure forced himself in between you and Heizou. Scaramouche worked fast. He glared at Heizou and tugged you away from him.

Heizou’s eyes went wide. “What’d I do?”

“Know your place, Shikanoin,” Scaramouche said. You just wanted to at least not be half-sitting on his lap, but he was proving a point and didn’t let you budge.

Kazuha smiled. “I warned you, Heizou.”

“Damn,” Heizou said. He looked exhausted. He was the one who suggested you and Scaramouche hook up in the first place—did he not expect his intuition to be right this time? “Didn’t take you for the clingy type. Two more days of this?”

“This is not some fling,” Scaramouche hissed. “You think I don’t take this seriously?”

You smiled as your heart fluttered. Scaramouche could be so unintentionally sweet sometimes, not that you’d tell it to his face, because he would grumble and hide his face. You rather liked his face. It was pretty, and you knew that if you tugged his hood down, you’d see a bruise on his neck as well.

“Didn’t take him for a romantic as well,” Kazuha said, thoroughly entertained.

“Wait, are you actually a thing now?” Aether made a face. “What the hell happened in that room?”

Scaramouche smirked. “You sure you wanna know?”

a/n it was already so hard for me to not turn it into a heizou fic dude. That entire first part was so unnecessary i was just hopelessly infatuated. BUT ANYWAY!!1 thank you so much for reading i hope u liked it <3 if u do, leave a comment or a reblog so i can see your thoughts :DD

also, another note: on the day i wrote this fic the insta acc of scara didnt exist. so if it does by the time youve read this fic, its pure coincidence and i have nothing to do w it. or maybe i did, because i came up w the name HAHA

#genshin impact x reader #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #kunikuzushi x reader #scaramouche fluff #scaramouche x you #genshin impact x you #wanderer x you #genshin x reader #genshin drabble #wanderer fluff #genshin impact #kunikuzushi x you

[hitlikehammers]

feel the bigger thing

rating: t ♥️ cw: criminal-levels of softness, rockstar!Eddie, domestic husbands are domestic ♥️ tags: established relationship, rockstar!eddie, rockstar husbands, love is lying on top of each other on the sofa discussing buying a new house with a pool, soul-deep love, slice of life, softness

for @steddielovemonth day twelve: Love is having hope for the future together (@acasualcrossfade)

you know how the rockstar husbands talked about lights for their pool in the original fic, je ne regrette rien? well GUESS WHAT FEATURES HERE

“These numbers,” Eddie’s reading over the printouts from their manager, sales projections and preliminary tour dates and all the rest: “baby, we can get the new house, hell, we can keep this one and have a second house if we want it,” Eddie kisses the top of Steve’s head where he’s got him bundled up on his chest, tucked under his chin where they’re currently both sprawled on the couch; Eddie says he likes to think like that—likes to know Steve’s there by design, no question, the weight of him evident every time he breathes, he says; held close to my heart, baby, in fact, is what he also says.

Hopeless goddamn romantic, his husband. But he wouldn’t have him any other way.

“We don’t need a second house,” Steve points out, smooshed against Eddie’s sternum.

“We can get the pool,” Eddie added with the audible equivalent of his brow-wiggle and okay, fine, that’s a good point, because Steve may not have really used the one at his parents’ after, well, everything, but he…does kinda miss having one. Now that the memories are distant enough in both time and miles that he doesn’t see standing water deeper than four feet and start fucking hyperventilating anymore.

So…yeah. Compelling argument regarding a pool.

“This record,” Eddie blows out a long breath, slow and even as Steve rides it where he’s braced atop his chest, lifted with his lungs: “this record’s gonna change everything.”

Steve turns his opposite cheek against Eddie’s heartbeat, huffs a little as he gets comfortable again before he asks:

“You think so?”

Eddie doesn’t move, but the fact that he stills so completely is kinda like a motion in itself.

“You don’t?”

He doesn’t sound angry or anything, or even upset. Not disappointed. Maybe just…surprised.

And Steve gets that. The numbers attached to this album are…if they’re right?

This is going to be huge.

But.

“I mean,” Steve shrugs, which is kinda useless given his position, so he sorts of ends up nosing at Eddie’s shirt instead as a byproduct of the hushing of his shoulders: he’s not mad at that, as the outcome:

“I guess, not really,” Steve finally settles on because it’s really not any more complicated than that.

Then Eddie’s got his fingertips at Steve’s nape and he’s spreading them through Steve’s hair and oh.

Oh, that’s so fucking nice.

Which is probably why he pairs the sensation with the question he follows with:

“It’s not good?”

And Steve almost doesn’t hear it, and he wouldn’t even fucking feel bad for not hearing it or not processing it when Eddie’s hands are in his hairlike that because fucking hell, Eddie knows what that goddamn does to him; but Steve does hear it. And again: it’s not angry, or upset. It’s maybe a little surprised. It’s not even quite…hurt, or disappointed, but it’s far closer to either or both than Steve’s comfortable with, than Steve ever wants to hear in that voice, so:

“God no,” he answers with real feeling, shaking his head to back it up and also to—mournfully—dislodge Eddie’s distracting fucking hands; “it’s spectacular,” Steve tells him, plain and honest because it’s the fucking truth: “definitely your best yet.” Also true.

Eddie goes still again, and Steve tips his head up and back at the most uncomfortable possible angle to catch Eddie expression, to read its clues: he’s watching Steve so intently, like he’s something unfathomable and dear enough to spend eternity decoding—but that’s strange in itself. They kind of know each other inside-and-out by now.

So Steve rolls back the words exchanged, looks for the catch, the dropped stitch, the record-scratch.

Gonna change everything—

Ah. Steve’s breath hitches a little, but: he thinks he’s found it. Right.

He makes himself breath in deep but slow, gentle and calm as he can, and Eddie’ll pick up the tension he can’t wholly wash out just yet, and Eddie’ll feel the uptick of his pulse where his one hand holds Steve still around the ribs. But it’s fine. Because they’re fine.

Okay.

“I just,” Steve exhales long; “you said everything,” and Steve tries to make his tone hold the word itself to account, to fill it up with all of the things that came to Steve’s mind and made him denounce the possibility on sight—change everything? But there’s so very little about Steve’s life, about this life together, about their life that they’ve clawed and fought for and now get to relish and bask in: Steve doesn’t want that changed.

And to think a fucking album release could change what they have, that was just, insanity.

…right?

“You said that, and I—“ and that’s as far as Steve gets before Eddie’s dragging him up, firm but so tender, and so full of love in just the touch that any misgivings—and they weren’t even that, that were just…just little off feelings that Steve knew weren’t of real consequence, because he knowswhat they are and what they have and his first instinct was right damnit, and he knew that like he knows the sky is blue and Eddie curls frizz no matter what you fucking do to them: they won’t change in the ways that matter, because they’re…unshakable.

So Steve knew that already, and he knows it now in just Eddie’s touch drawing up upward and closer, but if somehow he’d managed to miss both of those points?

The way he kisses Steve is…fuck, it’s like sucking his soul to consume.

“Oh, oh baby,” Eddie speaks so that they’re lips aren’t ever anything but locked tight, but touching close and with feeling; “not everything, no,” he promises, seals it, vows it straight into Steve’s open mouth so it’ll slip safe down to his heart and soul:

“Not everything,” he whispers, still close enough they can’t breathe without the other there, too, and: that’s heady. That’s real.

“Good,” Steve exhales but with a weight to it, a finality: a seal and vow of his own as he nips Eddie’s swollen lips once, twice, and then tucks himself under Eddie’s chin again, where Eddie’s arms are waiting to envelop him even closer, now; tighter still somehow.

“You’re the center of my world, you know that?” Eddie finally murmurs into Steve’s hair once their breaths have calmed a little, and he can say it steady and sure like he means to, and Steve really just smiles, and burrows that half-an-inch closer, where he compresses Eddie’s flesh to the bone so he can feel the nearest a person can be.

“I do know that,” and it’s not even a fib, or a half-truth: and Eddie already knows the understood ‘you’ of the sentiment clear and well-established—Steve knows Eddie’s love in all sorts of ways, big and small and in between but the first way he probably believed it best was coming to grips with the fact, the unwavering law-of-the-universe fact, that Eddie Munson’s heart beats for Steve the very same Steve’s beats for him. No difference. No more or less. Perfect concert, exact same time signature: precisely shock-start to pump in the first place, like the same spark keeps time in both their chests.

Steve knows he’s loved in ways that don’t have words. Because he loves the very same, and so he knows them intimately, no labels required.

“I already told the promo team we work around your schedule or I’m gonna have to by inconveniently down with the flu for appearances,” Eddie adds as Steve settles back on his chest, soft again and languid: he wasn’t fearful, or even truly hesitant, but—it’s nice. To lean back in and cuddle close.

“You know you don’t have to—“ Steve starts but Eddie tuts him quiet in a flash.

“I do have to. Save my heart the aching, baby,” he presses lips to Steve’s temple and speaks there, drags his mouth wet to the skinL “more important, save yours the same.”

And Steve maybe can’t help but press his own lips first through the cotton of Eddie’s shirt straight to the center of his chest, and then leaning up a little, to the stretched-out collar sneaking the lowest peek of flesh beneath his clavicle: kisses there too, a little sloppy and a lot overfull of feeling as he breathes:

“I love you something wild, Eddie Munson,” and his pulse skips happily, a little dance under Steve’s mouth as he smiles before propping his chin on Eddie’s chest and looking up, meeting the eyes he knows are waiting for him, waiting to lock with his.

And when they do—even after all these years, and Steve has no expectation of it ever change with more to come—but when their eyes meet it’s Steve’s heart that goes giddy, a little off-kilter for joy, and it fucking is that, isn’t it.

It’s wild.

“I love metal, baby,” Eddie answers, and Steve tips his head a little; an odd direction, but he’s intrigued: “music and D&D and meeting the fans,” and Eddie’s playing with his hair again, and he knows what that does, but—

“I feel something so much bigger, for you,” and Jesus, Steve’s in love with maybe the only person in the world who can match him for romance; sometimes outstrips him, even. His heart goes back to dancing chaotic and he couldn’t fucking stifle the grin if he tried, and fuck if he’s ever planning to try.

“Fucking sap,” Steve mouths tight against Eddie’s chest, damp through his shirt for the chuckle he breathes there, weightless and marveling because he gets to have this; they get to have this: they’ve had this for so long and they get to keep it.

“You love it though,” Eddie runs his cheek back and forth across the top of Steve head, and Steve just hums:

“I don’t love it,” he insists with intent in it: “the bigger thing,” he corrects, makes clear: “I feel the bigger thing.”

And Eddie just ducks a smile against Steve’s hair, warm where as it spreads, and Steve can feel it; can’t help him mirror it full as he sighs:

“So tell me more about this pool.”

tag list (comment to be added): @pearynice @hbyrde36 @slashify @finntheehumaneater @wxrmland @dreamwatch @perseus-notjackson

♥️

divider credit here

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #fluff #established relationship #established steddie #rockstar eddie munson #domestic fluff #or rather more: domestic LOVE #idiots in love #slice of life #rockstar husbands #they might have enough money for the POOL #criminal levels of softness #steddielovemonth #love is having hope for the future together #these two boys have probably been together around a decade at this point and it FUCKING SHOWS #old married couple!steddie #stranger things

[divorcedfiddleford]

You made a post saying “it has been zero days since our last alex hirsch hates ford so much bullshit” and i know it was mostly hyperbole, but you have some really good takes that I would love to be elaborated on in terms of how ford is written

it really wasn't hyperbolic. over the years he's just really shown a lot of hatred towards this one character.

content warning: discussion of abuse

i want to start with this clip from the commentary which i think of as a microcosm for how the writers and especially alex think about ford.

transcript:

rob renzetti: i mean he [mcgucket] should've basically knocked ford out, and... and destroyed the... you know, tied him up, and, destroyed... and... alex hirsch, speaking over him: yeah he should've beat ford with a wrench and taken this thing apart piece by piece! he's the one who understood how to built [sic] it, but...

... so that seems like a pretty violent course of action. shall we unpack that?

ford is a character who's pretty explicitly written as a victim of abuse, and who now has c-ptsd as a direct result of the abuse he experienced. alex hirsch believes that ford deserved everything bad that happened to him, that it's ford's own fault, and that he also deserved worse things to happen to him. this is why, given every narrative chance, alex hirsch has piled more suffering onto ford's plate. the biggest example of this i can think of is in the journal, when he wrote that fiddleford was actively erasing ford's memory (despite this being a massive timeline contradiction which i still refuse to accept). because god forbid ford even have one remotely healthy relationship with somebody. that would be too good for him. ford was manipulated and lied to by bill, but alex repeatedly compares him to icarus, a teenager whose demise was the result of his own ignorance. this comparison is still so fucking offensive to me. the sun did not lie to icarus, did not guarantee icarus all of the happiness and success and sense of belonging which he had been denied all his life, did not actively shut out the voices of those around him who would try to help him.

alex in general has a very strange relationship with abuse. he seems to get really upset when people read his characters as victims of abuse. the strongest instance of this is actually not with ford, it's with pacifica - especially in the nwmm episode commentary. the episode says "pacifica's parents have conditioned her to respond to a bell" and alex says people got "the wrong idea" about it. like. dude. what the fuck. you wrote abuse. even if you didn't mean to, that's what you wrote. you can't say people got "the wrong idea" just because you didn't think about the subtext of what you were writing. anyway, back to ford: i believe this extends to him as well. alex wanted to write a character who's a foil to stan and who was a selfish unlikable victim of his own arrogance. however that's not what he wrote. he somehow seemingly accidentally wrote a really compelling and relatable awesome autistic guy who had to fight for every good thing he he ever had in his life only for it to be taken from him every single time. but alex can't let go of seeing ford as just "the opposite of stan". when he talks about "how someone as smart as ford could fall for bill's tricks", he refuses to realize he wrote a situation in which a man was being psychologically manipulated and tortured.

it goes back further, too. people repeatedly theorized that filbrick was... not a very good father, to say the least. on top of the very explicit and canon fact that he threw one of his children out on the street (seriously, there is no defense for this), people pointed out that stan would flinch at filbrick, that ford seemed upset by things filbrick said but dared not talk back, that filbrick was mad at stan not for hurting his brother, but for "costing the family potential millions". but alex can't have people seeing ford as sympathetic. ford can't have it bad like stan did. ford had to have everything and he lost it all because he sucks so much. so he wrote the graphic novel story where ford is filbrick's favorite child and filbrick also is not even a bad parent you guys he's just stoic. ignore the whole thing in dreamscaperers where stan perpetuates the abuse that filbrick did to him. ignore the fact that ford was shouting at stan and then completely shut up as soon as filbrick entered the room and did not say another word for the rest of the night. ignore all that because i just made up this story where he cries at a present from stan. filbrick loved his boys for sure you guys!!!

i'm not even touching on how alex repeatedly villainizes traits commonly associated with mental illness and neurodivergence. ford's hypervigilance becomes arrogance. his passion for knowledge means he's a know-it-all. his difficulty socializing and making friends means he's a misanthrope. his lingering resentment for the way he was raised means he hates his brother and is the worst human being to ever have lived. i could go on, go even further into how the finale reaffirms this, but i feel weird talking about this too much.

#help you unclogged the dam and it all came rushing out #it's been years #didn't know i still had all this in me #apologies for the lack of sources. i reference a lot of old interviews and tweets from 2016-2017 #i know insider was one of them but a lot of it was questions he'd be asked at convention panels and off-handed comments from the dvds #seconds before the clip i included alex says ford's great flaw is pride #as though it was his pride that led to the world ending #and not a millenium-old plan by a monster using advanced manipulation tactics supplemented with literal mind control #tales of the wild zeep #1009

[comradekatara]

okay i just finished reading the yangchen novels and i need someone to talk to me about yangchen/kavik 🙏 does it count as a rarepair because nobody has read the yangchen novels 😭

ikr there are like 5 yangvik fanfics on ao3 which is crazy you guys should be going insane over them. like it should NOT count as a rarepair it’s literally the central romance of these books and it’s hetero (hetroooo jessica that’s her name) how is it so unpopular. i mean kyoshi/rangi being popular is good tho bc i do love to see dykes winning but yangvik fucking rules i am sorry to say. like i think they might be more compelling than the lesbos i can’t believe i am saying that but.

they’re both so insane and in really similar ways (extreme younger sibling complex) and sooo smart and manipulative and scary it’s awesome. i love that yangchen is always making kavik her bitch and she refuses to admit that it’s because his skills are useful to her and she likes having him around so she’s always just like “im doing this to make you suffer >:D” and he fully believes her. and then once he’s finally fulfilled his contract (by literally getting stabbed for her) he’s like “ok well i think i am going to move back home and become a healer now” and she’s like “omggggg NOOOO you CANT go I NEED YOUUUU” like she simply did not consider the being nice and honest approach until she could no longer extort him to get him to work for/with her she’s so fucking funny for that. also I love the line where she’s like “well. he has nice teeth.” what a strangely horny thing to think about someone, like okay you dentally-minded freak.

meanwhile kavik is constantly oscillating between “she is the all-powerful avatar” and “she’s just a sopping wet poor little meow meow. why won’t anyone help her????” and that scene where he tries her tea and it has like. amphetamines in it is so fucking funny. he’s just like damn bitch you live like this???? also that scene where they’re playing sparrowkeets and yangchen is like “oh my god kavik is actually so bad at this game he totally oversold his abilities he’s literally a fucking fool and i was a fool to trust him” meanwhile kavik is sitting there like “wow this is so obvious and i am in complete control of the situation. i love how we are both on the same page about how i am totally fucking playing this guy rn :)” when he spins her around in the air and the rest of their team gets so fucking mad that he’s treating her like a girl and a friend instead of the supreme leader of the universe and they’re just like “um. what. we’re literally buddies. and yes we are also extorting each other. what about it.”

they’re so fucking crazy. and the fact that they never even so much as kiss is even crazier. kyoshi and rangi are like so much more confident with each other and yangchen and kavik (literal heteros) who are constantly dancing around their latent feelings and sublimated desires and for what. they’re both young and attractive the world is literally their oyster. what’s with all the fucking secrecy. oh right. they got that spy grindset. can’t even admit you have feelings because that’s a card that can be played against you. gotta act like you don’t even care about your best friend in the world because they’re a really good liar so what if they’re just faking their affection as part of a long con. never act on your feelings because that’s a weakness that can be exploited. they’re like the gay people of m/f ships but also what they’ve going on goes far deeper than that like they’re literally certifiably insane. both of them.

#creampuffqueen #asks #yangchen novels #yangchen #kavik #kavikxyangchen #I truly love them so much

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for “yes and”ing sexual harassment?

I (19 ?) am very visibly queer. I’ve been perceived as pretty much every gender under the sun, and I like to be as confusing as physically possible. even if I’m dressed down I don’t ever “pass” as anything. I really like this for the most part but it also means I get a lot of weird looks no matter what bathroom I use. usually I just use the women’s because it’s what I’ve used my entire life and also it’s cleaner. no matter which one I’m in people usually only react to me with weird looks. occasionally they’ll go “sorry!” and turn to walk out of the bathroom directly to the other one (this has happened in both the men’s and women’s) and I’ll have to frantically apologize before they can, but that’s the worst it gets normally

anyway, a couple months ago I was in this mostly empty women’s room (me, these two ladies, and the woman who’s about to sexually harass me). I was dressed up for an event so I probably looked pretty strange to most people. this woman (30s?40s? F) approaches me and tells me I’ve got the wrong bathroom. I take it as an honest mistake and say something like “thanks, but it’s ok, I meant to use this one.” I notice this sort of simmering rage on her face after I say this and that’s when it clicks that she: 1. thinks I’m a trans woman (she’s not totally wrong but it’s complicated), and 2. thinks that means I’m posing a Direct Threat To The Sanctity Of The Women’s Restroom. she compels me to leave Again. I give a firmer no, and turn to get in a stall

at this point she goes off the deep end and starts calling me a creep, accusing me of being a man, etc (ftr I’m intersex, was assigned female at birth. but obviously this wouldn’t matter to her and even if it did it wouldn’t excuse the shit she’s saying about trans women). I stay quiet. then she starts loudly speculating about the penis that I apparently have now (keep in mind we are NOT the only two in this restroom either, there’s at least two other women who look very uncomfortable with this whole situation). I kind of snap and say something along the lines of “if you’re really so worried about what parts I have, you can come watch me pee.” she looks totally horrified at this idea and shuts up. I pee alone, thank god

the way I see it, this didn’t cross any line she hadn’t already crossed — she was openly harassing me about my genitals in a public space, I answered in the best way I could think of in the moment that would call her bluff instead of insulting her and making it into a shouting match, which would just be even shitter for everyone involved. “ask stupid questions get stupid answers” and all that (it did occur to me the moment I left that bathroom that she could’ve attacked me. I got really lucky she didn’t call the cops or something)

I still don’t feel bad at all for how I responded, and I wouldn’t even be asking this if we were the only two there, but I’m on AITA because there were two other women in the bathroom I feel like ass for even tangentially involving. they both seemed really uncomfortable with what this lady was saying about trans people, and I know she probably still would’ve harassed me no matter what I did, but I wonder if I could’ve somehow prevented the situation altogether by not responding to her at all or even just straight up leaving the bathroom like she asked. it’s kind of useless to speculate about now, I guess, but since this is apparently a thing that happens to me now I should think about how I might respond better to harassment like that in the future

so. AITA for maliciously complying with a transphobe in a public space

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[xvxni]

Hey 😊 would you do a Damon Salvatore imagine where you’re dating but then you leave the house after a fight with him and get in a bad car crash. He feels this and searches for you, just to find you I’m time to save your life. Then he stays by your side, feeling guilty and when you wake up again he’s there taking care of you, apologizes and promises to never let any harm happen to you again? Just some lovely fluff and a bit angsty. Thank you so much 😊

Apology

Summary: Your boyfriend Damon has been acting very possessive and controlling and you get into a huge fight with him. You go out for a drive to clear your head but end up in an accident instead. Damon finds you and takes you home, making up for everything he had done.

ANGST, fluff

Damon being controlling, car crash, reader having a near-death experience

1.5K

A/N: Thank you @imagine-all-the-fandoms for being my first request! I'm so sorry it took forever (this is horrible). Do let me know if this is satisfactory. Happy reading!

Damon Salvatore X Human!Fem!Reader

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Your boyfriend of two years, Damon, was recently being very controlling and possessive. He started making your decisions for you without bothering to consult you, being unreasonably jealous of any male around you and demanding to be with you at all times, not understanding the healthy concept of giving 'space'.

But this time, it ran deep. He compelled your childhood best friend, Jake, to leave town and forget all about you. You caught him in nick of time otherwise you would've never even known about what happened to him!

Deeply hurt and driven mad with rage, you left the Boarding House for a drive after a few broken objects, wounding words and a heavy heart.

You didn't know how, perhaps you weren't in your right senses, you couldn't hit the brakes and crashed right into a tree. The car flipped over, and your arms twisted at an odd angle. Your limp and now-sore body was fastened with the seat belt, and you couldn't undo it. You were hit badly in the back of your head, and you could feel unbearable burn of a deep gash.

Your senses had perked up under the stillness of the night, and you heard a faint trickle. Then wetness across your back, your head, soon trickling down to your neck. It was a strange fluid --- coppery metallic smell, thick and red with a mud-brownish tinge. It was oddly enticing and familiar. A shiver ran down your spine when you realised it was your blood. Blood, so much blood --- your own. You were losing so much blood, and you could do nothing to stop it. You felt faint and suddenly, the hardest thing in the world was staying conscious.

You were terrified. If you were going to die, then it mustn't be like this. An accident. Your whole life snatched away just because of a mistake. God, you had so many things to do in life. Get a job, travel the world, adopt a cat --- ordinary things but they were your dreams, which now lay shattered. You didn't want your life --- and death --- so unremarkable and ordinary. And while all this time, there was a deep wound of regret in your heart --- perhaps greater than the gash on your head --- to part with Damon.

Sure, he could be such an asshole at times, but you knew that he loves you with all his heart. You didn't want your last words to him be an angry "I hate you". You had never really thought about it, what would be your last words to him. You couldn't breathe at the sheer grief that hit you at the moment. Unable to withstand the blow, you closed your eyes, succumbing to a world of endless darkness, getting lost in your way towards the blue-eyed vampire. And you couldn't do a damn thing about it...

Anger and frustration clouded Damon's mind. It was all hazy, and he was searching for a light. Ah, there it is! Remorse, regret, fear of having losing her. He knew what he did was wrong, but why couldn't she understand? He loved her so damn much, everything he did was tp protect her.

She lived her constant danger because he loved her, and he knew at times that he should let her go, but he couldn't. He needed her to function, she was his damn sanity, and without her, he lost it.

Suddenly, there was this intense urge to go find her, not to waste a single moment. He'll do anything to have her back, she can't leave him. He knew he was unreasonable, ill-tempered and sometimes too controlling, but he couldn't help himself.

He got behind the steering wheel and let his heart lead the way, for it was with her where it truly lay.

He was aghast, devastated, even. Finding her like this, so near to death, he suddenly came to his senses. He was crying, he realised. He never cried. But that's what she does to him --- make him into someone he never thought he could be.

"Y/N, no! No, no, no!" he wailed, feeling utterly helpless. He undid your seatbelt and somehow pulled you out of the overturned car. Without wasting a moment, he bit into his wrist and forced his blood into your mouth.

You drank for a moment then turned away, trying to sit up but immediately fell back and the sheer exhaustion and soreness you felt.

He was here. He was here, you realised.

"Oh Damon, I'm so sorry!" you sobbed into his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around you and you knew he was crying into your shoulder.

You simply let things just be. In that dark night, the feeling of death heavy around you, the two of you embraced a new life. Of promises of forever, of understanding, of accepting --- and it was beautiful.

After what seemed like an eternity, he composed himself, giving you some strength, too. "Let's get you home, yeah?" he whispered and you nodded. He lifted you bridal style in his arms and helped you into his car. You leaned on him, as much as you could and he kissed the top of your head. "I'm so, so sorry..." he began but your shook your head. He understood. Not now.

You drove to the Boarding House in companionable silence. The silence was golden. The silence spoke it all. And all you needed was the silence.

With his help you went inside. The house that was so familiar --- it looked the same --- but it promised something different.

"You don't know how scared I was today," he whispered as he rubbed your feet.

"Me too... I didn't want to die like that. Not without saying goodbye, though I wonder if I ever will be able to say it-" he silenced you with a kiss. "I won't let anything happen to you. I want you all for myself, I know that's selfish. I am prick and I don't deserve you, but I do love you very much, so much that it's frustrating, and I won't be able to live with myself if something happens to you. I know I make bad decisions, I know I react impulsively, but I do it only for you. I am sorry for today. I had no reason to compel Jake, but I did it anyway because I was insecure. I realised my mistake, I have no reason to be. So, if you have it in you, please forgive me...". Tears were streaming down his face.

You wiped them away and hugged him close.

"I'm hungry," you said, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. It made him laugh. "Pasta?"

"Yes!"

#the vampire diaries #tvd #the mikaelsons #the originals #xvxni posts #damon salvatore x reader #damon salvatore angst #damon salvatore imagines #damon salvatore #damon salvatore fluff #tvdu #tvd imagine #damon x y/n #damon salvatore x y/n #stefan salvatore #elena gilbert

[ash-and-starlight]

Books of 2023

the list nobody asked for <3

My reading habits had gone a bit stagnant in the past couple of years so this year i made the effort to engage in reading again and wow books really are good!! who would have thought! Sharing this year's book log with the small reviews i did while reading yeah i am That kind of list lover if u feel like being nosy, (and maybe even help mi crowdsource reading recs based on my likes 👀🤲?)

The left Hand of Darkness - Ursula K. Le Guin Ursula i Need to know your thoughts on omegaver- [gunshot] THAT ASIDE yeah. mrs Le Guin you've done it again. I can see why everyone got their brain chemistry altered by this book.

The Membranes - Chi Ta-Wei another brain chemistry altering book. would love to discuss it with a gender studies major lmao

Satanic Verses - Salman Rushdie its a v atmospheric and poignant story, I know I would have loved it more if I was familiar with the rich religious/cultural background it draws from

The Masquerade Series - Seth Dickinson Crazy insane in the membrane about this series. one of the most compelling worldbuildings I've ever seen, and most importantly it features one of the most crazy wet pathetic scrunkly meow meow protagonists i've ever had the pleasure of reading about.

Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides i liked the writing style of this book a lot! idk how well it holds up re: intersexuality topic, but its a very engaging read.

Dead Blondes and Bad Mothers: Monstrosity, Patriarchy, and the Fear of Female Power - Jude Ellison, Sady Doyle The title says it all honestly, its a beautiful, thought provoking and engaging essay, spanning eras, pop culture phenomenons, and real life events on the topic of women and horror.

The cat who saved books - Sōsuke Natsukawa this was so cute and heartfelt, it will really make you go Ah Yes, this is Why we Love Books <333

The Locked Tomb Series - Tamsyn Muir now when people say there is a girl who is the cursed sacrifice of 2000 infants who falls in love with the sleeping embodiment of the soul of the Earth (barbie) and also another girl who is the only survivor of the aforementioned sacrifice and is. a Jesus metaphor? and also the two girls become one at some point. and every book is a different genre. and god is bisexual. and memes survived the nuclear apocalypse. I can just nod and say so true.

The Area X Trilogy - Jeff VanderMeer Rotating this series in the microwave of my mind at the speed of light it's soSO GOOD!! the movie doesn't even come close honestly u NEED to read the books. and then go touch grass and be aware of every strand in a completely new way.

The Dawn of Yangchen - F. C. Yee nice read! I was more invested in the worldbuilding crumbs than in the actual story lmao, I will forever think about the HEATED airball rivalry between the air temples and about the swt greetings / bethrotal armbands.

Inuit Stories of Being and Rebirth: Gender, Shamanism, and the Third Sex - Bernard Saladin d'Anglure starting w a disclaimer bc I feel like the topic of native colonization was ignored when it should have been way more prominent when talking about the context of where and when these testimonies were collected?? That aside it was very interesting and well put together, with first account testimonies of Inuit elders about their myths, lifestyles and beliefs.

Pachinko - Min Jin Lee i read the book after having seen the tv series (which i also rlly recommend). Very moving story about a family and its generations, from Korea under Japanese colonization to modern day America.

Her body and other parties - Carmen Maria Marchado sometimes I go about my day then I remember this book exists and stare at the wall for 30 minutes.

Dictionnaire de l'impossible - Didier Van Cauwelaert big miss. this collection of articles about "strange impossible phenomenons" sounded so quirky and interesting but i sure would have loved if the author hadnt so clearly picked a side. and also way too much church for my tastes.

He who Drowned the World - Shelley Parker Chan Im not even gonna speak about this one if you've followed me since july you know what pits of insanity and despair i'm in

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow - Gabrielle Zevin Sometimes!! the book with pretty covers put in the "famous on socials" bookstore section!! are good!! It's about being othered it's about connection it's about diaspora it's about love and friendship and most of all it's about viddy games.

Station Eleven - Emily St. John Mandel reading this post-covid and learning it was written in 2017 was A TRIP. Psychic damage at every page. still feeling very normla.

The Mask of Apollo - Mary Renault Ugh i desperately wanted to like this book because the setup is so interesting and full of potential, but the end result was just. flat. flat story flat characters the plot focusing on the wrong things at the wrong times i was so DONE when i reached the end otz.

Babel - R. F. Kuang LOVED the worldbuilding in this, the "lost in translation" system of magic is one of the most interesting things ive ever read. I think theres something about the writing in general that didn't win me over completely?? but all in all a very good

Red Ocean - Han Song This sure is a Book. That i've Read. its so profundly strange and unlike anything ive come across that i dont even know what to feel about it. i think 90% of my confusion comes from Not Getting Cultural References so if someone has a "red ocean explained" essay plz send it my way bc i couldnt find one.

#taking with me into next year Chromorama and The seven moons of Maali Almeida #anyway blease talk to me about your fave books!! #or about the ones in this list!! #send post #books

[timeskip]

I think something I really like about Killua's feelings for Gon IS actually the way it blurs the line between romance and friendship and unhealthy devotion. There's something so compelling about how Killua's feelings are buried in subtext, how you can look at it and compare it to how romantic couples are written, but it's always tangled with their platonic feelings, with Killua's desire for friendship and desire to protect Gon, which sometimes is and sometimes isn't clearly romantic!!

The clearest we ever get is Killua saying he'd commit lover's suicide with Gon, which is. so unhealthy. But it's been built on all the other romantic (in the sense of it feeling romantic, even if only on Killua's end) scenes which aren't as bad, which are soft and kind, but still have that feeling of devotion. We're rooting for them to be healthier in their friendship!! Because we can see that it CAN be healthy!!!

Because I don't think Killua's crush on Gon is bad for him!!! I just don't!!! Gon is his light, he's the driving force behind him being able to get rid of his family's influence, he's Killua's most beloved person. None of these things are explicitly romantic, but the romantic edge to them is still important!!! I think that their connection, a connection built on mutual loneliness and understanding as the only kids at the exam, is good even and especially if it started as them """just""" being friends, but which eventually morphed into Killua's romantic feelings. I don't think it's necessarily bad for someone to look at Killua and Gon and say they have a very intense friendship--that's just fact, lmao. Killua's devotion and longing during the chimera ant arc is so strong because those feelings have morphed into that implied romantic feeling towards Gon, and that's important to their relationship too, just as important as Killua standing in front of Illumi and saying he wants to be friends with Gon. It's all building up from their friendship, and these things are complicated and tangled with each other!! There's no solid line where Killua starts loving Gon in a different way, and I love that!!! It feels realistic!!!

And so I don't think there's a line in the sand that says "of course Killua's feelings are romantic, nobody would go that far otherwise." I think it blends those romantic and platonic feelings, and I'm not even sure if Killua himself could pick out what he was feeling? At least not at the start of the chimera ant arc.

Which is why it's interesting to me that "Gon, you are light" is cited so often as the romantic scene. That is THE scene that gets people to believe Killua is in love with Gon, or consider it when they hadn't before. This is before Killua getting jealous about Palm, before lover's suicide, before Gon is called Killua's most beloved person. This is before things get complicated! This is so early on even if it's far into their friendship! And it's also, notably, entirely subtext. I clearly believe it's romantic (I mean, god, I read the manga first and got sent the anime clip of that scene and watched it over and over because Killua's feelings were so... resonant. Especially with the way the anime does music and voice acting. It's so good.) BUT. Killua's words CAN be interpreted platonically, and I do actually love that. It's that nebulous space of being in love with someone so important to you that you don't want to lose them. The important thing is this; Killua wants to stay by Gon's side. But he says it poetically, romantically, and we can pick up on it because of course we can!!! It's right there!!!

But some people won't! And that's because the line there is so strange and blurred by their friendship, by Killua's growing unhealthy dedication and the way their friendship takes shape during the arc. That same devotion is what shows us that it was romantic all along, that we aren't wrong to look at that scene and say "Gon, you are light itself" is not something a boy without a crush would say.

Tldr:

#killugon #hunter x hunter

[heliads]

final vigils from a cursed son

Luke Castellan is going to leave Camp Half-Blood for the final time. He reaches out to his father for old times' sake. Or he tries to, at least. Hermes never answers, anyway.

masterlist

Luke Castellan prays to Hermes one last time before he goes.

He hadn’t meant to, really. It wasn’t anything he had in mind. Praying to his father was something Luke considered fairly irrelevant by this point; either Hermes would ignore it or, worse, he’d do something stupid like give Luke someone else’s quest so he could come back as half the boy he was before he left, rewarded with no glory but a face split up the side like a ruined seam. Still, it happened. Miracles, as it turns out, can still be achieved through prayer. Fathers can listen. They can try to give you something more than isolation.

Luke finds himself in the strawberry fields. Connor Stoll once told Luke that this was where he had felt the spirit of Hermes the strongest, or maybe that was just because he’d been stealing berries right under Argus’ many eyes and got away with it. Regardless, it seemed like a good place to start. Campers tend to avoid the place this time of year, too afraid that they’ll get drafted to help with the produce. Demeter kids love it, but they’ve all wrapped up for the day.

This leaves Luke alone in the waving mass of green. Red berries dot the ground; fleetingly, it reminds Luke of blood spattered on the ground. His original plan had not been to start a war, it had merely been to Get Revenge, whatever that might entail. Kronos was the one who suggested that a total cleansing of the old ways might be in order. Eradication of the gods had seemed good to Luke, so he’d agreed. Even if that might involve more blood than just berries spilled on the soil of Camp Half-Blood. Who said revolutions were clean?

Luke kneels. Even after a few minutes, his knees begin to twinge with the ache of being locked in an uncomfortable pose. It’s either a sign that he needs to stretch more or just another bonus of being his dad’s kid. No one in Cabin Eleven is good at sitting still for long, except the unclaimed ones. Either way, Luke needs to find a way to quit it. The Titan Lord will need a good soldier, a strong one, and what has Luke ever been but willing?

He doesn’t really know how to pray. It feels strange doing it to someone who’s supposed to be your father, even an absent one. Especially an absent one. Luke lets his eyes close slowly, crosses his hands in his lap, and thinks–

Hermes?

He breathes out, slow and low. I want you dead. A pause. I also wanted to give you one last chance. It’s not like you’ve given me anything so far but a bad quest and one useless token of patronage, but here it is anyway. One final shot. What are you going to do with it?

Luke leans back on his heels. This is stupid. The god probably isn’t listening anyway, but even if he was, he’s just giving away his own plan. Even so, he feels somehow compelled to finish it, to bring closure to something Hermes had never bothered to contribute to his whole damn life.

You never should have met my mother. You cursed her. You made her what she is. You made me what I am. Maybe the other campers don’t see it yet, but I do. The gods curse whatever they touch. The only way to save all of us is to cut you out of the equation.

A frustrated, heaving breath tears through him. I don’t know why I can’t just sit back and accept it like the rest. I don’t know why none of them see it, too. You’re hypocrites. Millions of years of wisdom you have and you still ignore us. We needed you. What good is a god without an altar? Without prayers? We were never good enough for your attention. I hope this is enough to draw your focus.

Luke is struck by the sudden urge to sob. All my mother wanted was you. You could have been enough. Why weren’t we enough for you? What is it about a god that only thinks for itself?

Thunder rumbles ominously across the camp; Luke rears back slightly, but then his heart hardens. You’ll see soon enough, though. I’ll never be scared again. I’ll never need anything like I needed you. You’re nothing to me. I hope you’re the first to die.

He doesn’t know how to end this awful, soul-wrenching prayer, so he just says nothing more, forcing open his eyelids again. The shocking light of the sun makes him feel as if his eyes are about to bleed, but he keeps them open anyway, staring out into the bright sky until they adjust again.

Luke waits for something to happen– a divine message, perhaps, or a sign, or any indication at all that Hermes had heard him. Unsurprisingly, he’s greeted by nothing. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s been ignored by his godly parent. However, Luke thinks, standing up slowly and relishing the rush of blood back through his lower half, it will be the last.

Luke walks purposefully from the strawberry fields. He needs to stop by Percy Jackson before he goes. After that, he’ll be in the clear.

pjo tag list: @w1shes43, @fadedver, @anxiety-werewolf, @runawayprincesslily

all tags list: @wordsarelife

#luke castellan #luke castellan imagines #luke castellan oneshot #luke castellan fanfic #pjo #pjo imagines #pjo oneshot #pjo fanfic #pjo luke #pjo luke imagines #pjo luke oneshot #pjo luke fanfic #pjo tv spoilers #pjo spoilers #percy jackson #percy jackson imagines #percy jackson oneshot #percy jackson fanfic

[sausage-rolll]

Queen Marika the eternal and the power of bewitching

-

Y'know, it's interesting that Marika also seemed to have a similar "mind control" power that Miquella is often sited as having.

"The Empyrean Miquella is loved by many people. Indeed, he has learned very well how to compel such affection."

-

While it's something that isn't heavily explored in game (to the point where I don't see anyone discussing it) Roderika theorizes that Marika cursed Hewg to eternally craft weapons for the remainder of his life. And it's straight up stated that this "cursing power" was used on the fire giant to force it into protecting the giants forge in the name of the erdtree.

"The Fire Giant is a survivor of the War against the Giants. Upon realizing the flames of their forge would never die, Queen Marika marked him with a curse. "O trifling giant, mayest thou tend thy flame for eternity.""

-

So Marika definitely seems to have a similar power, possibly even being the person Miquella inherited his off of in the first place.

But could this go even further than just Hewg and the fire giant? How many others could she have cursed over the years? What are the chances that Radagon suddenly up and leaving his family to become second elden lord wasn't actually his decision at all? Miriel himself states that it's a ongoing mystery as to why Radagon would do it.(alongside why he was chosen to become elden lord at all)

"The mystery endures, to this day... As to why Lord Radagon would cast Lady Rennala aside... and moreover...why a mere champion would be chosen for the seat of Elden Lord"."

The thing I find really important is that the question isn't just about why he'd be chosen as elden lord, but also why he'd cast Rennala aside at all. To me, this implies that Radagon did indeed care for Rennala, to the point where even with the temptation of becoming the second lord of the order he loved so much, it still seemed strangely out of character for him to take that opportunity over his family. As if he would never do that.

That is unless, he didn't take that opportunity by choice.

Afterall, even after leaving Rennala, he still clings to the only thing he has left of her, the golden order greatsword. And on top of that, he left his red wolf to protect her from harm, and even gifted her the amber egg before his departure. (Though I'd argue that that did far more bad than good for her mental state.)

"Telltale signs betray that this was once the greatsword bequeathed to him by his first wife, Rennala."

-

Ok so Radagon could have been cursed by Marika, and much like Hewg with his smithing and the fire giant with the forge, Radagon might have been cursed to protect the golden order as its elden lord, which would eventually backfire horrendously when Marika decided to turn against that very same order.

Admittedly I am kind of stretching here but everyone she cursed seems to be "cursed" with a specific goal in mind. Forge a god slaying weapon, Protect the giants forge. So it's not totally out of the question that she also cursed Radagon with the goal of "be the elden lord."

It would certainly explain why even after years trapped in the tree and barely even being alive anymore, he still fought tooth and nail to protect his order. He cannot give up because he's no longer physically capable of giving up. Much like Hewg and the giant. That is unless they die of course.

-

But it could go even further than that. What about Maliketh? It appears he's just loyally following the orders of Marika but that's what it always looks like! It looks like that with Hewg. It looks like that with the fire giant and it looks like that with Maliketh aswell. Despite seeming utterly miserable both as Maliketh and Gurranq, he carries on following her orders for years.

We have no idea how long he spent in the Farum Azula. Time doesn't work properly there. For all we know, he could be the oldest being in the game by the time we get to him. And yet after all that time his resolve never wavers. Even after being "betrayed" by Marika.

"Maliketh was a shadowbound beast given to his Empyrean. Marika's sole need of her shadow was a vessel to lock away Destined Death. Even then, she betrayed him."

And much Like Hewg, Fire Giant and Radagon, Maliketh is also ordered to carry out a specific goal. Which is protecting destined death.

Forge the god slaying weapon.

Protect the Giants Forge.

Be elden lord.

Guard Destined death.

-

Many people, including myself have sited Miquella's connection to the bewitching branch and power to "compel affection" as evidence that he might not be as benevolent as he seemed. But what if we've got it all wrong? What if we shouldn't be being suspicious of Miquella for having this power, but instead the person he inherited it off of?

-

Now there is someone else that Marika may have cursed. Well, a group of someone's actually. I saved this till the end because it's the most "out there" part of this theory but...

Spoken echoes of Queen Marika linger here as well.

Shall I share them with you?

In Marika's own words.

Hear me, Demigods. My children beloved. Make of thyselves that which ye desire. Be it a Lord. Be it a God. But should ye fail to become aught at all, ye will be forsaken. Amounting only to sacrifices...

...What if it wasn't the power from shards of the elden ring that corrupted the Demi-gods and led to the shattering wars?

What if it was the power of suggestion? The power of bewitchment?

What if it was Marika?

#elden ring #marika #miquella #elden ring lore #elden ring theory #radagon of the golden order #rennala #melina #maliketh the black blade

[angelbirdo]

Weird Human Shit: Neurodivergency Edition

Wow hey so I died for a while and came back with a totally different hyperfixation? Who'd'a thunk it.

I've seen a total of one (1) post about neurodivergency in humans and how aliens react to it, which is like well and fine, it was a good post, but I haven't seen any posts like "some humans chew things. like a lot. it's bad for their teeth but they feel violently compelled to. they don't drink from a cup, they need a rubber straw because the metal ones in space are "icky"." These won't all be about neurodivergency specifically, but I wanted to hop on the band wagon and have it on my mind so here we are.

-some humans talk a lot. like. a lot a lot. sure, most of them talk a lot compared to most alien species, but some of them get really into specific things for very short periods of time and then forget about them entirely for up to a few years before going "I wonder why I stopped thinking about that" and the cycle repeats. If your human starts talking and talking and talking and talking, it's not rude to ask them to slow down.

-Imagine being an alien and most humans expect you to and initiate eye contact when starting and god forbid HOLDING a conversation. You meet another human and think "here we go again", look at them, but they just. won't look at YOU. you worry you've done something wrong until they look at you for a second and go "You're staring, are you okay?" and you remember that human norms are non-existent and that the only consistent thing about humans is the inconsistency.

-Aliens on a ship with a (relatively) strict schedule, at least in terms of work hours. In space, days are irrelevant because, yk, ship, days are very different on different planets. A day on Venus is 5,800 hours. A day on Earth is 24. You get the picture. Human wakes up at random times during the "night" to do god knows what. they're not supposed to be out of the sleeping quarters at night, but honestly, the other crewmates are too afraid to stop them. Eventually, another alien is disturbed by the sound of singing from the bathroom. There's a human bathing in the middle of the night. WHY. are they AWAKE. they're not SUPPOSED TO BE. Go the fuck back to SLEEP.

-Humans will eat anything, right? Except for some humans. Some humans will only eat like... a few different meals. They are picky eaters. They don't like the texture of rice. They love mashed potatoes for some god awful reason. They drown everything in whatever liquid is appropriate to whatever they're eating (gravy for the aforementioned potatoes, ranch for chicken, you even saw a human with KETCHUP on their macaroni and cheese. you've only ever smelled ketchup but you know better than to expect anything less from a human by now) and will not eat it without that liquid. They only eat meals THEY prepare because the way it was made was Not Right. They didn't spread mayo on both buns. They didn't put cheese between the pickles and bun. This food is Inedible and I will Starve to Death before I eat it.

-Some humans make strange noises with their mouths. Talking could be considered a strange noise, to be fair, human language is always evolving, but sometimes the noises mean nothing at all. You're confused because it has to mean SOMETHING, they just don't want to tell you, but repeating the same sound over and over again is just. strange. they do it alone. they do it with a select few crewmates around. They won't tell you what it means. They eventually tell you they just LIKE making the sound, and you leave it at that.

-Humans are social creatures, they enjoy physical contact. What's sort of strange is that some humans will go out of their way to find fake body parts to hug (*cue boyfriend pillow infomercial*). What's even STRANGER is that they will find MADE UP CHARACTERS and print them onto a pillow. Why, you ask them? They're just lonely.

-A human that likes cats so much they sometimes slow blink at other crewmates. Nobody has asked why, but they sort of want to. Humans are just weird, they tell themselves.

-Some humans hurt other humans for fun, especially when they're young and have power over them. This is called "child abuse" and often leads to something called "emotional trauma" and results in even stranger, even more instinctual behaviors from humans, and sometimes even "personality disorders".

-Imagine being an alien and a human crewmate has BPD. You're just minding your own business and they storm in, stomp around the room, then storm back out. You ask what's wrong, they go "nothing im fine" and you just. what are you supposed to do?

It's literally 12:16 AM as I hit post, I hope these aren't totally ineligible lmfao

#humans are weird #space australia #neurodivergent

[operationslipperypuppet]

Ooh how about top 5 Emily moments for each PC (i.e. top moonshine moment, top fia moment, etc etc) because we know Emily is incredible and can do no wrong!

Real and true. I’ll do like 2 moments for each naddpod pc and then it’ll be like 10 moments lol. Full disclosure: this is long as hell.

Moonshine:

“You can be quick with kindness, too” and then grabbing Bev and jumping off into the Astral Sea. That whole thing, where she was trying to understand Thiala despite knowing she likely couldn’t be reasoned with. An absolute peak of Moonshine. Holy shit.

Not to be the guy who brings up “how long do half elves live” at every opportunity. But it needs to be said. Because it’s also Moonshine grappling with how her lifespan is going to work. Emily was never going to take 18 levels in druid, she didn’t want timeless body for Moonshine. But she got it. And then there’s this poignant moment where she’s grappling with everything that will mean to the only other person she knows has or will experience it. Moonshine doesn’t fear death. But she doesn’t want to live in a world without her family and friends. And that’s why it matters. Plus the hardshine of it all.

Fuck it, third one. The conversation with Deadeye. She saves him. She’s the catalyst that stops him from continuing a spiral he’d been part of for possibly 100 years. And he stopped her from going down a similar path, which was Brennan’s plan when he made the character. The Cybin siblings are something that can be so personal.

Fia:

“Maybe I don’t want to be her sister, okay!” Fia was closed off to the other third mates in a lot of ways. She was never hiding anything deliberately, she just kept a lot of feelings close to her chest. She hadn’t had friends in years. Blurting this out to Hank and Zirk was her last wall crumbling and a moment of true trust. Plus like the beauty of girlhood friends falling in love wlw wish fulfillment.

“You were my fucking dream for so fucking long. But these people are my reality. And it is by your actions that one of them has died, and you tried to kill more of them. And I will miss you so much. But I, I cannot support this. Mr. Henry. Kill Her.” Truly an Emily moment of all time. The beauty. The cold hearted commitment. The sobs from both her AND Caldwell.

Tarragon:

Only gonna do one here because she’s in so few episodes. The atonement to help redeem Moxora at the end of Cerenysus. “She may have rotted but she’ll make good soil”. Devastating.

Billie:

Also gonna do one here because of the shortness of her time. Her insane antics in the Grimdung/Beeto cave fight. Trying to convince Grimmy that she was worth more than his allegiance to the cause. Being completely wrong about his thought process. And the interactions with Hank and Zirk during that fight. Too fun.

Onyx:

Pretending to be Porker Harris for the entire Merry Metal Mayhem two shot. Insane choice. She was dressed as him dead I think actually. And tried to convince Sonic that she was him. The triplets are too good.

Befriending KT. Getting her plane seat upgraded while sitting in the bad seats. Asking for her opinion on everything. So dumb. So incredible.

Callie:

Fucking. Crown of Dreams. Right at the end. She finally isn’t confused or a nannerfly. And she takes a turn to Lay on Hands Sol (who was 2 death save failures in the hole and it really felt like Caldwell’s skin of his teeth luck had finally run out) and then casts compelled duel on Ultrus to save Glen. Gets me every time. God what an episode.

Little strange, but when they’re fighting the Bronzebeards and that guy who was controlling people with the worms in the woods on the way to Irondeep. She like climbs up something, Fey Steps, attacks or casts a spell, then asks Hardwon to catch her. And Hardwon “nods like he’s seen this kind of bullshit before”. Just a very fun moment.

So sorry for going off like that. Hope people enjoy reading this insane list lmao

#naddpod #emily axford #asks #anon #top 5 #again send more if y’all want I’m having fun still

[iraprince]

I adore all your art with cookie and was interested in Sapphicworld- but I’m curious (so plz don’t take this as a negative-) what exactly in your opinion sets it apart from other Queer PBTA hacks like Thirsty Sword Lesbians?

I’d just really like to hear your thoughts about it as a system and world especially given you are a indie developer yourself?

hi!! thank you!!

so, a few caveats before i start off — one, i actually haven't played many other pbta games (like for example i know Of thirsty sword lesbians + own a copy that i've poked around in but im not very familiar w it), so i honestly can't provide much in the way of comparing/contrasting it w other pbta stuff in the same vein, and my impressions of sapphicworld are pretty much just contained to the game as its own thing, not so much sapphicworld as a Type Of Game

and two, while i am a dev myself, i'm a huge novice! like, i'm proud of the stuff i put out and i love doing it, but i personally feel like my lack of experience is such that like, i don't think my opinions in this case are particularly informed by my own work as a dev or anything. all this to say im happy to answer this question, i think i just gotta tackle it from a different frame than what ur specifically asking!

BUT ANYWAY. i can still talk abt why im so excited abt sapphicworld in a way that has kind of outstripped other stuff in general, and for me it's about the world 100%. like i honestly spend close to no time thinking abt the fact that sw is even pbta to be honest. not that the mechanics + gameplay aren't important, bc they are thoughtfully crafted and well done and fun, and i'm saying that from the perspective of someone who playtested earlier versions that have now been reworked! it's just like, not what comes to mind first for me — what's exciting and fresh and irreplaceable abt the game in my mind is like. it is fully committed to immersing you in an extremely lush, strange, richly fleshed out world, one with a long history and folklore/mythology and a TON of really fun npcs who all have different subcultures and its own calendar with seasonal holidays and regional terrain with specific fleshed out dungeons/towns/etc to discover and even like, specific FOODS typical to each different region and and and and —

and maybe at first that seems kind of overwhelming, and tbh it is. when i first got into it and i was going thru the playtest document (which if im remembering right was like. ~300 pages shorter at the time than the current playtest doc) i DO remember anxiously thinking to myself "god this is a LOT and idk if i'll be able to retain enough of this to rp convincingly" etc etc. but like... it's just really compelling, and it does an incredible job of mixing humor and gravity and horniness in a perfect ratio that always comes across as intensely earnest and makes it equally easy to have a fun goofy time or a really emotional time, which i think is REALLY hard to do.

and while normally it's hard for me to get thru something that dense and long all i can really say is that i just straight up like it enough and was charmed by it enough to pick away at it until i grasped it and felt like i understood a bunch about the world, which also has a curve to it bc in structure and tone its very different from any of your... idk more Standard fantasy or sci fi worldbuilding, so it's not like u can immediately slot in ur expectations from other settings and just learn some new vocab words, it's a world that from my perspective also Functions differently than a lot of other fictional settings in a way that's a little hard to describe succinctly. (none of this is succinct to begin with but ykwim). it makes me want to gm my own campaign, really really bad, when usually i have always been absolutely Terrified of the idea of gming! idk man. it has a Flavor. it's full of Vapors. u get transported somewhere else reading it and playing it in a way i haven't experienced in a while and a lot of times after a playtest session i felt like my brain stayed behind in sapphicworld for a pretty long time.

i feel like i am sounding a little melodramatic and incoherent but like. genuinely sapphicworld is just a fictional world that i am really bone-deep charmed by and interested in and when i WAS reading thru the rulebook for those first days it did not take me long at all to find myself constantly thinking "i want to play in this world, i want to play in this world, i can't wait to play in this world," and i just think that's really special. and like — just as your curiosity abt comparing sw to tsl was not intended as a diss or a negative, what im abt to say is similarly neutral — im a person who sometimes finds it a little difficult to click with or feel excited abt a lot of the Queer Indie Stuff that i see get popular with other people, bc it just doesn't connect w my specific lesbian + trans experience; not that it feels inauthentic but that im like, oh, idk, i think these guys are just. not My Zone, ykwim. on the flip side so much of the humor and heart and transness and sex in sapphicworld is something that really resonates w me and just Clicks in a way that i have also found really special.

rounding myself off before i ramble for like five more paragraphs but just as one more morsel of something i like abt sapphicworld that is a little more concrete than me spinning around the room yelling "I JUST LIKE IT OKAY": one of the most fun parts of character creation is getting to mix and match your kind (sort of like ancestry/species, the form ur physical body takes) with a subculture. so u get things like a werewolf babe (cookie! babe being a subculture that focuses on being Like, Totally Hot), or a centaur knight, or a minotaur debaucher, or a vampire cowboy, or an organist (cthulu-y tentacle guy) scenester, or a skeleton wizard, etc etc etc etc — there are SO MANY to pick from that when i was trying to bait my friends into playing w me i couldn't find a convenient way to list them all so ppl could start thinking abt their characters. and every possible combination basically is interesting and amusing and fun and practically THROWS a great oc into your lap and i literally think i could amuse myself endlessly just Making Characters in sapphicworld and never actually playing w them.

[panting, disheveled] so tldr. i like it. uh. what sets sapphicworld apart from other ttrpgs to me is that i have fallen balls to the wall in love with the very soul of it to the point where i don't even really think about it in comparison to other games at all and it has just become an Experience to me and i suppose i cannot guarantee anyone else will fall into insane homosexual hysteria in the same way but here we are. HOPE THAT HELPS

(ALSO PSSST. idk if this is just perfect timing or if ur curiosity was specifically prompted by this but the @sapphicworldttrpg patreon DID just launch and if any of this has been intriguing u should check it out. okay mwah bye)

#anyway thank u bc ive been so busy these past few weeks/months ive had no time to rotate it in my brain #and im not caught up on the most current versions etc #so this was a nice opportunity to slow down and take a breath and geek out abt something i like a lot. :D #sapphicworld #ttrpgs #also hi eclipse i am a little embarrassed to have tagged u onto a post of me just like. Gushing- #-but i want ppl to be able to find the game account lol. [waves sheepishly] i like ur art. as u know.

[obwjam]

Weird idea I had, tw for death

Miguel goes to a tiny universe because he got a distress call there. Surprised to see that everything is so small, and even more surprised to see that everything is burning and a lot of the tiny residents are dead. These attackers spot him and start freaking out and he just goes beserk with rage and kills all of them.

Once they're all gone he's just standing there feeling really bad because here is this once thriving little city and now it's empty. He's about to leave when he senses another lifeform hiding in an alleyway or something and he goes there and there's the last tiny, so small and scared and absolutely TERRIFIED of him.

He's not really sure what to do or say but the tiny sees him and screams and tries to run. I mean, this giant did just single-handedly kill the invaders, who knows what his motives are? He stands there for a second before running after them and catching them. They try to fight his grip but he takes them back to his universe and now hes got this scared little dude who wants NOTHING to do with him and Miguel has to calm them down and figure out how to make them trust him. He feels so awful, especially since this tiny is just a kid and it's a painful reminder of his own kid.

Bonus points if this tiny is a Spider-person who has no idea what these strange powers are.

god damn it i need this to be a fic right this second this is so COMPELLING. i absolutely love the idea of the tiny being a spider person and miguel has to not only get them to overcome their fear, but he ALSO has to train them and it’s incredible

#this could be a novel #maybe i’ll just put it on the list of fics i’ve got going lmao #asks #spiderverse spoilers

[dyns33]

Ineffable

A Demon Morpheus x Anger Reader, in the Good Omens world. Don’t ask me why. It’s ineffable. 

They might never have met.

Even though they were almost as old as the universe, had been on the same side at one point, fought in the same war, and now operated on the rock called Earth, nothing compelled an angel and a demon to meet.

Most of the time the two sides were doing everything so that their paths did not cross.

But Y/N got along well with Aziraphale, Morpheus sometimes visited Crowley, and since Aziraphale and Crowley did nothing like everyone else, their paths hadn't stopped crossing for more than 6000 years.

However, there was really nothing that destined Y/N and Morpheus to do the same.

Y/N had been commissioned on Earth to primarily take care of animals. After all, they were also creations of God, pure creations, who hadn't touched the forbidden fruit, and who deserved as much attention as the loud, selfish humans, if not more. It was difficult, because humans kept hurting the animals she loved, in increasingly imaginative ways.

This could be partly blamed on Morpheus, even if it was not his primary goal, and therefore he was not the only one responsible. He had chosen this name during a trip in Ancient Greece, because being a demon of dreams, he thought it sounded good. One of the most powerful and beautiful, dreams always being pleasant at first, he was sometimes incubus, sometimes nightmare, and sometimes he simply tempted people by whispering to them ideas, desires, useless needs, which they could not forget after they woke up.

It was the demon who first encountered Aziraphale, following Crowley. He was surprised to find that the angel liked books so much. Usually, angels did not attach themselves to material and frivolous things.

       "My angel is a bit special." Crowley had said with a small smile.

Morpheus could have laughed, he could have reported this strange friendship to the authorities below, he could have used this information to tempt Aziraphale, but being of dreamlike essence, he loved stories, he was inspired by them, and he often returned to visit the angel to discover new books which made his work simpler and more amusing.

Y/N met Crowley while she was dealing with snakes. The demon continually refused to explain how he managed to get himself into such a mess, trapped among ordinary snakes that humans were going to use to make clothes, bags and shoes. He had been lucky that Y/N had intervened and noticed that he was not a normal snake.

Of course, since he was a demon, she didn't really trust him. But he was part snake, and she really liked animals, so she thought that was a good sign. And when he mentioned Aziraphale, she thought he couldn't be that bad.

He didn't like the compliment at all, taking it as an insult.

The meeting between Morpheus and Y/N happened in 1543. An ordinary day, during which Y/N had followed Crowley to the library of his angel, where the demon of dreams was already.

        "... Don't take this the wrong way, Aziraphale, one demon I can try to understand, but two ? Do you have something to tell me ?"

        "No ! No, not at all. It's just a customer who came to get a book, nothing more."

        "On the other hand Crowley, you seem to attract angels like honey."

        "I am no one's honey."

         "Not important." Morpheus sighed, turning to Y/N, wearing a seductive smile, trying to take her hand to kiss it and only bowing to her when she stepped back. "It's a real pleasure to meet you."

Since he wasn't a snake, Y/N decided not to trust him at all. Even after a while, or rather several decades, she continued to be suspicious.

But Morpheus didn't go after the animals, it was totally unnecessary, a real waste of time, since they didn't commit any sin and all went straight to heaven, so she considered she should just ignore him, focusing on her work. It would be simple, they had no reason to meet outside of Aziraphale's bookstore.

        "Hello, little angel."

        "... If you say it's a coincidence again, I'll rip your tongue out."

        "What violence for a being of light." said Morpheus, mock-shocked, holding one hand behind his back.

        "Are you here again to give me a present and apologize for what happened last time ?"

        "Rome was an accident, I swear !"

        "Demons are liars, they don't swear. And you just admitted that all the other times were voluntary !" Y/N growled.

Since their meeting, the angel and the demon kept meeting, by accident. At least that was what Morpheus claimed. Y/N didn't believe it at all, because each time, he found a way to put her in embarrassing, dangerous, or unpleasant situations. All his pranks and pettiness was starting to get annoying.

But after each bad deed, he came back with a sad pout, offered a present to apologize to her, without ever saying the three magic words.

       "I don't see why I would forgive you this time. It was really awful."

        "Maybe because it's charitable to forgive, and mostly because I brought this ?"

When the demon presented the cat statue to her, Y/N tried her best to keep calm. It was a very beautiful cat statue, obviously old, full of history, certainly Japanese, and which would fit perfectly in her large collection. If Aziraphale liked books, Y/N had a weakness for everything that had to do with animals.

        "... Fine. I forgive you, again, because it's the right thing to do, and I pray that you finally find your way to salvation."

        "Of course, little angel, of course."

Obviously, this was all a very amusing distraction for the dream demon, and as long as she wasn't decorporated, and no animals were harmed, Y/N didn't really have a problem with that. He tormented her a bit, but she was used to it now, and his gifts were really lovely.

It wasn't that bad.

         "He's courting you."

Y/N tried not to spit her tea on the precious books in the shop, as Aziraphale threw this absurd sentence at her without any warning.

         "I'm sorry ! I've been wondering if I should step in for a while. I had some doubts, and spoke with Crowley about it, just to be sure. He confirmed to me that according to demonic practices, Morpheus had been courting you for a very long time now. According to him, it's obvious, only a blind idiot wouldn't see it. He asks that you remain discreet, these practices are secrets, he agreed to tell me because he owes you one, even though he refused to tell me what. There you go. You know everything."

        "... You think Morpheus is in love with me ?"

        "Oh, no. I mean, I don't know if demons can feel love. Not like us, anyway. But he sure feels something, demons don't court for fun."

        "I had no idea. I don't know what to do."

        "It depends, my dear. Are you interested ?" he asked nervously, not sure which answer he'd rather hear.

Y/N didn't know. This was a real surprise and she had never really wondered if she liked Morpheus. He was a demon after all, he wasn't trustworthy, he was her natural enemy, he was evil.

But he had never touched animals. He had even sometimes helped her in her work, being very patient, very gentle with the poor little creatures, holding them close to him and murmuring reassuring words in the old language.

Despite his pranks, he wasn't the most terrible demon she had encountered. Aziraphale said that if someone loved books, there must be divine light in them. Crowley had confided to her that Morpheus was the only demon he frequented. They got along pretty well. So maybe... Maybe this was all a good thing. That was part of the plan.

        "... What ?"

        "I asked you if you are courting me ?" she repeated shyly, trying not to smile too much.

        "Little angel, where did you get such an idea ?"

        "A snake hissed the idea to me. Listen, the pranks, the gifts, all this time we spend together... It does mean something."

"Indeed, that means you're naive and easy to fool." replied Morpheus with a cruel grimace "Me, courting you ? Poor thing, that's ridiculous. Demons don't court, they manipulate, they tempt, and they bring down. That's the only purpose we have, nothing more. "

If she had a heart, it would have broken in that moment. Not wanting to hear more, Y/N returned to her little house, where she did not cry, for the angels did not cry.

She hesitated to throw away all the gifts she had treasured, feeling ridiculous to have believed that a demon could be her friend, or more. Aziraphale and Crowley were wrong.

Several days passed. The bookseller angel phoned her to see if everything was okay when she didn't come to their weekly meeting to try out a new restaurant. Besides books, he really loved food.

She apologized, saying that she had had a lot of work, and now she had to take care of some things at home. He insisted, certain that something had happened, and since she was not good at lying, she told him everything that had happened before hanging up.

Another day passed until the black cat scratched at her window. Unable to resist an animal, she let it in, before realizing that it was not a cat.

         "... Morpheus. Did you come to manipulate me, tempt me or bring me down ?"

         "I... I came to apologize."

         "Sure." she sighed without looking at him. "And turning you into a cat is a way of coaxing me, I guess. Because I'm stupid, naive and I'm bound to accept your fake excuses as always."

         "No, listen to me, little angel. I freaked out when you came to see me, I... I didn't think you would broach the subject so frankly. In fact, I thought you already knew, and that we were not talking about it because it was not necessary."

         "If you try to prank me again..."

         "No !" he insisted, changing back to his human form, trying to take her hands, like when they first met. "It's complicated. I'm a demon, and you're an angel. It seems impossible, completely crazy. Forbidden ! I don't want you to be in trouble because of me, I don't want to lose what we have. I didn't want to hurt you, I shouldn't have said all those things, but I didn't know what to do, I didn't think it through. I just wanted everything to stay the way it was, that's all."

           "So... You want me to pretend we never had this conversation, so you can keep courting me while I pretend not to know and don't really respond to your advances, like an endless waltz ?"

           "Exactly ! Is it okay, sweet angel ? You… You accept being wooed without realizing it for eternity ?"

           "... I don't know. I don't quite understand what you're talking about. But I still haven't forgotten Rome, so if you could turn back into a cat and let me pet you, that would be a good start."

While a cat dream demon purred on the lap of an angel who pretended not to know she was cuddling a demon, two other entities watched from the window, making no comment, as Crowley and Aziraphale had been in much the same situation for 6,000 years now.

Maybe it was a part of the great plan. But since it was ineffable, they would never know for sure.

#sandman #the sandman #good omens #morpheus #morpheus x reader #dream of the endless #dream of the endless x reader #dream of the endless imagine #demon dream #angel reader #aziraphale #crowley

[bi-hop]

spider-byte headcanons

while this blends her singular intro comic, elements of the movie, and my own thoughts, this shouldn't really have any spoilers. still, if you haven't watched across the spiderverse, read with caution

anyway Earth-22191 in my personal content is basically The Matrix. Hear me out.

Essentially, if you crossed over into Earth-22191, every person you would encounter is either a person hooked up to what I am tentatively calling the World Computer or a simulation so perfectly constructed that it is impossible to tell the difference. Unlike the Matrix however, everyone knows this and it is distressing. You ever heard of philosophical zombies? It's a whole thing, but for these people, an uncertain number of people around them - even their own parents - used to seem like behavioral zombies to them:

Endless paranoia ensued about this and being a cog in a giant machine for centuries, so scientists worked hard to find a solution. They settled on virtual reality. More specifically, they settled on an extra layer of virtual reality. The aim was to continually give people access to various forms of virtual reality that were fantastical and abstract so paranoia would die down and socialization would flourish. Once this was successful, society was reconfigured to incorporate this technology as much as possible. It allowed this world of expendable tech parts to escape into worlds that soothed their minds.

Enter Margo Kess, a... let's say fifth generation teen post the advent of this VR tech. To us, her attachment to her headset would be seen as unhealthy. She uses it as much as the current legal limit allows, only stopping when absolutely necessary (sleeping, bathing, walking to class). But, in her world, her avoidance is normal. Why have that boring family discussion in your dining room when you can all meet up on a simulated beach and have it in paradise?

Earth-22191's reality is one where socialization and education mostly occur by necessity in cyberspace. Unfortunately, so does crime.

Flesh crimes, as they're called, are on a steep decline. This is mainly because they bore people. Stabbing someone in PERSON? Ew. Who does that? It's so gauche. Hacking into your worst enemy's locked server and carefully drowning them with mods you managed to find and downloaded? Now that's fun and compelling. It's a new age of catfishing, thievery, and murder. As the one and only Spider-Byte, Margo tries her best to address complex crimes of passion and fraud. She's a vigilante, so she doesn't exactly work with the Cybercrimes Division. Instead, it's more like a game where the best of you can adapt on the fly, split yourself in two, and code like no one else has ever seen.

Other random details:

The Databank is a structure located inexplicably both in the true reality, the not true reality, and the modified false reality. It displays ever changing text and code. Some worship it as a god and spend years trying to translate its ‘wisdom’. Pilgrimages occur

Miguel worked with Margo to be able to project her digital self across dimensional lines, not really out of the goodness of his heart, but because she would be a liability otherwise

the Databank is strange. No matter what filter you put over it in the modified reality it never changes. It’s tall. Sleek. Shiny. Almost slimy. All black and jutting out of any landscape without a clear reason

its lights pulse like a heart

Margo HAS friends, we see them in her comic debut. But she’s not very good at socializing in person. This spider rescue team delights her only because she gets to do that! Except… her body is in another dimension-

all non-humans you can think of (mutants, Inhumans, etc) are called Bugs. This isn’t that bad of a term. It’s just because they display code deviations that weren’t intended by God, in the eyes of Databank worshippers anyway. Margo's a Bug

her Green Goblin is Normie Osborn trying endlessly to impress his grandfather and failing, it's kinda sad. said grandfather is now preparing to be the first person to enter this VR space full time… hm

that's all for now

#spider byte #margo kess #earth 22191 #across the spiderverse #spider man: across the spider verse