#going to say as little as possible abt this

[mirrology]

— Rowdy .ᐟ ☆

୨୧ rowdy: ( noun) a noisy and disorderly person. (adjective) noisy and disorderly.

Ft. boothill, gender neutral reader. platonic. Wc:

Content: short bit of hc's and a small fic at the end, readers age is not specified, boothill being a little shit, he cares abt u tho, typical sibling shenanigans, sibling bonding, cursing, boothill may be ooc.

A/n: first ever platonic boothill fic /j, also this is kinda lazy but whatever.

He would definitely be one of those annoying brothers that come into your room just to look at you, then leave without closing the door.

but he genuinely cares about you and your safety considering his job as a galaxy ranger.

Boothill also definitely calls you runt, squirt, & kid no matter how old you are or no matter how much you complain.

Frequently ruffles your hair as a sign of affection, although this ends in bickering when you do your hair before it.

Definitely can't cook for shit, every time he tries to make something for you out of the kindness of his heart, he absolutely wrecks it.

It ends up burnt and inedible, and a purple aura around in a cartoonish fashion. and oh, the poor kitchen, you can't count how many times you've had to fix something. it has gone through a lot.

The two of you have sleepovers where you do skincare, watch movies and gossip about anything and everything.

you would think that Boothill is more of a horror movie and/or action movies type guy but he has a soft spot for sappy romance movies and the saddest films possible.

and if you feel like it, both of you talk about your love life.

Trains you by sparring in hand-to-hand combat, he usually wins the sparring, but you've gotten close to beating him.

After your training session you flop on the floor like a dead fish and beg him to carry you back inside, he obliges but not before teasing you for falling to the ground.

he picks you up in a princess carry or in a piggy back ride.

Boothill gives you things at the most random times, "oh but it's not a holiday or anything special today!" you can say but he won't care. accept his gift.

If you just as much glance at something in a store for 1 millisecond you'll find said thing in a gift bag with a little note, handwritten by him.

Since he's part robot he can't drink water or even touch it or he will malfunction, even though he's made to sustain the harsh weather of the desert and attacks from the criminals he hunts down.

so if he's being stubborn and does go through with touching water, you're the one who (quite literally) brings him back to life.

and because of this you've become well-versed in technology. you constantly fix anything that is wrong, such as a jammed finger. Although can't seem to get rid of that swear filter that he's unfortunately stuck with.

Overall Boothill is a very fun elder brother who wants to keep you safe.

You woke up to the feeling of being moved from your spot on your desk. you had been working on one of your tech projects, spending hours on end tinkering away in your room. You cracked one eye open, sleep pulling at your eyes, wanting them to close one more. You were met with the familiar face of your brother above you. then you registered the feeling of his hand on your back and underneath your knees.

Boothill noticed your sleepy gaze on him, and he smiled cheekily, "Heya, runt. I see ya' woke up" he chuckled in amusement at your disheveled appearance. He laid you down on your bed and placed the covers over your body, you immediately sank into your mattress and the soft feeling of the blanket on top of you was making you sleepier.

"Jeez, how long have ya' been up?" His smile dropped a little as he noticed a faint outline of dark circles underneath your eyes. "dunno..." you slurred out and turned to your side, facing him. "Hey, big bro?" you quietly said, Boothill raised an eyebrow "yea?" he asked.

You softly grinned, "Love ya'" you said, then suddenly being interrupted by a yawn. there was silence as your eyes drooped and eventually closed as you fell into a deep slumber.

Boothill stared at your sleeping face, it wasn't exactly surprising that you had said that you loved him. It was just that you didn't say it often, it wasn't that you didn't want to. Boothill's schedule is almost always full, so spending time with him can be hard. A rare soft smile graced his features and he reached over to caress your head.

"I love ya' too, kid." He whispered.

#reader insert #x reader #boothill #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #gender neutral reader #hsr x reader platonic #hsr platonic #platonic relationships #boothill hsr #boothill honkai star rail #boothill x reader platonic #boothill x reader #reader input #gn reader #child reader #teen reader

[solargeist]

I’m thinking more abt the Xelqua stuff , this is quickly becoming incomprehensible to anyone but me, but anyway, weird one shot AU of grian being a strange kid found by young watchers in training

-Aether and Flora find little Grian while on a Watcher challenge/task/whatever in a magic forest. He looks like 5 years old and doesn’t know his age. Flora says to leave him, these woods are dangerous so it’s probably a trap, Aether says look at him he doesn’t even have shoes.

-They bring Grian along, mostly carrying him, he seems content with this, but doesn’t rly explain what he’s doing here.

-they all sleep in a small hollow dead tree, Grian tucked away in the back of it. It’s not easy sleeping in a small space with a child, especially when you have wings and he keeps stepping on them

-they have eggs for breakfast. Grian doesn’t like them, so he points out you can eat these glowing mushrooms growing here, and he takes a bite before anyone can say anything. Aether almost has a heart attack and makes him spit it out, he says it’s fine because he’s eaten them before.

-they ask him who his patron is, he proudly exclaims its Xelqua, the saint that leaves destruction, the one almost forgotten abt. The child’s confidence is exactly like you’d expect from Xelqua

-when it rains, he cries and tucks himself under Aether’s wings, he really hates lightning, he says people die when there’s lightning, but doesn’t go any further into that. Waiting out a storm in a hollow tree also sucks, so much.

-When they eat meals, Aether has to repeatedly remind Grian to sit still and not wander off, saying ‘Ah’ when she wants him to turn his attention back and take a bite of food. Flora says that’s gross, sharing a fork, and Aether reminds her they’ve done the same thing before, but Flora says thats different.

-One day the three get cornered by a large creature, it’s mouth snapping at them as their legs kick and hold the jaw back, neither have a moment paused enough to try and fight, stuck on defence in a small corner. Grian—far too happy sounding—loudly states he’ll handle it, he points a small finger at the beast, and a thin purple line appears, shooting directly between its eyes. Portal magic, this young ? A tiny strip of brain teleported to who knows where, in an instance, to the sound of breaking glass. The creature drops dead, pouring blood. Aether and Flora stare at each other, Grian eagerly waits to be told good job.

-Aether and Grian pray before meals, to different saints. Flora does not

-Grian sees Flora fishing one day, he tells her there’s a better way, she tells him to go away he’ll scare them off. Grian sits by the edge of the water, wide eyed with his hand hovering above the surface. He quickly stabs down and pulls out a fish, fingers digging into it and eyes faintly purple, but he looks back and smiles widely waiting for approval.

-They walk past little saint statues at the bed of trees, so small they blend in with the mushrooms, Xelquas not there so Grian doesn’t care

-Aether and Flora get lost, they have a vague Watcher challenge to find a building in these woods, but the trees are too tall, too thick, they can’t fly and look around. They ask if Grian could possibly draw a map, he lives here right? He draws a straight line in the mud and doesnt elaborate.

#weird little kid that also has crazy powers . funny to me #just rambling . just Rambling #this is getting too long I’ll stop 4now

[ldrfanatic]

speak nowww

Slytherin Boys as Speak Now Songs

*in perspective of their relationship with you AND their personality. and why*

here's speak now (tv ofc), 1989 is on the way; which taylor swift album should i do next?

(mattheo riddle, draco malfoy, theo nott, lorenzo berkshire)

slytherin boys masterlist nav

mattheo riddle as Better Than Revenge

best lyric(s) - "she should keep in mind there is nothing I do better than revenge" + "she underestimated just who she was stealing from"

explanation - so, as stated in ttpd version (here), mattheo has a lot of pent up frustration and anger. so he's really good at getting back at people. especially when he gets into a relationship with a partner he really cares about and they ask him not to be mean or attack people for no reason. then he has to channel all his efforts into just getting back at people who bother him. (even though sometimes bothering him is just looking at him even slightly sideways).

w/ his partner - with his partner, mattheo has absolutely no regrets or qualms about being an absolute menace to society. since he began dating them, he's been much less volatile than his normal self, but whenever people get a little too cocky and do absolutely anything at or to you, all bets are off. then mattheo feels that its necessary to step up and remind people that he's still the dark lord's son and he will be the dark lord's son if he has to.

draco malfoy as Speak Now

best lyric(s) - "don't say yes, run away now, ill meet you when you're out" + "horrified looks from everyone in the room but i'm only looking at you"

explanation - I feel like draco is the kind of guy who would totally 1000% crash your wedding if you were ever marrying someone other than him. (*I just read this theo fic abt him crashing readers wedding, ill try and find it and link it here*) But anyways, he would totally crash your wedding. like at first he would feel really bad for even thinking about it but then he would legit just stroll into the chapel like "you can't marry him, you're supposed to marry me" even if he like never mentioned anything about his feelings for you. he mentioned them in his way aka glaring at you slightly less intense than he does everyone else. how could you not notice that he was in love with you?

w a partner - def more silly and cute than anything, but i like to think that when you first started dating (esp if youre a gryff or a huffle) draco would make it his personal mission to embarrass the hell out of you by saying the most out of pocket things in front of like the other slytherins or just in the middle of class as loudly as possible. he just likes to see the little blush on your cheeks whenever he says something that he most definitely should not be saying out loud.

theodore nott as Electric Touch

best lyric(s) - "all I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life" + "I'm tryin hard not to look like I'm trying"

explanation - theo is that guy thats scared of commitment. (sorry to all the theo girlies me included but we gotta admit it at some point). it's not that he doesn't care about his partner, it's just that he's terrified of commitment. there's way too much that could go wrong. he learned very early on that you could do everything right, love someone completely, treat them wonderfully, and then they could just die. but bc his mother passed at such a young age he has a very distorted point of view on this because in his head, he's like but what if they just die???

w/ a partner - that being said, when theo finds that person that's like the one for him, he wants to commit so bad. and he puts all of his effort into it, like he'll call you his girlfriend, he'll spend an exorbitant amount of money on you, he'll even buy you a damn ring, but he won't let you get emotionally close to him. and it kind of freaks him out when he finds himself wanting you to know him in that way. when you finally confront him about one day and he's like, what if you just like died?? and you're just sitting there across from him like '...'

theo, wtf? i'm not just gonna like keel over one day.

after that he kind of lets you in a little and after a few months when he's sure you're not just gonna suddenly fall over, then he's completely fine and continues on like nothing ever happened. (its a little amusing in the hindsight of it all)

lorenzo berkshire as Dear John

best lyric(s) - "don't you think 19's too young to be played by your dark twisted games" + "cause you burned them out, but I took your matches before fire could catch me"

explanation - I don't think it's really talked about enough how much emotional support that enzo needs. his own family aside, he still grew up around death eaters and that surely cannot be healthy for a guy. so when he finally is an adult, i like to think that he looked into some kind of therapy option wizard, muggle, or otherwise. i think that he probably also struggled a little with the friends that he lost during the entire ordeal that he wishes he could've saved (almost like survivor's guilt)

w a partner - so when it comes to a partner, i really think that he needs someone who sees him. that's really important to him that he's with someone that he could just let go with and not have to worry about always being either grinning or stonefaced. He'd like to be able to feel his entire range of emotions without hindrance and he's only really gonna feel safe to do that with a partner.

---

4.25.24

wc 960

taglist @moonlightreader649 @svt-dk97 @thatdammchickennugget @helendeath @fandom-life-12 @bouquetolegoflowers @maryvibess

#slytherin boys #theodore nott #slytherin #theo nott #theo nott x reader #theodore nott x reader #slytherin boys x reader #draco malfoy #lorenzo berkshire #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #enzo berkshire #enzo berkshire x reader #draco malfoy x reader

[hannigramslesbianhusband]

I'm bothering you with questions and statements

How do you feel about Alana and Margot being called the Murder Wives? Do you think they'll continue on a killing spree after they got a taste from Mason?

YAY I LOVE QUESTIONS AND STATEMENTS!!! :D

"Murder Wives" is awesome because it just makes me picture them and Murder Husbands being besties and getting together like once a week to have dinner and chat and gossip abt murdery things. As for them killing- I actually haven't finished season 3 yet so i dont know how accurate i can be about this!! but I like to think they're a bit smarter and less literally batshit insane than hannibal and will, PLUS they have a baby. They might dabble in a little bit of killing, just to see if its something that fits for them, but i think they'd eventually settle down with their kid. They'd definetly do a bit of killing if they felt a need to (or call in a favor, yk, if hannigram lived and kept in contact... 😭), but i also think they're a bit more... mature(?) about it? They could handle a lot of things without killing and potentially complicating everything and they know it. Plus, I'm sure Margot would want to be a better influence and role model for her kid than her father and brother were to her, which probably means making sure they don't have to come into contact with that sort of stuff, which im sure Alana would back up especially as a psychiatrist. Although theres the possibility Margot could get a bit overbearing, especially because of all the "being an heir" stuff, but I'm sure Alana would balance that out too. Thats not to say they wouldn't teach them how to hold their own once their old enough, and they'd DEFINETLY be backup if the kid ever does get wrapped up in anything murdery. So all in all, sure, perhaps some killing, but no... hunting. LMK what you think about this if you want- since yeah i haven't watched a lot of season 3 yet so!!!!!! just going off what i have watched and what i've heard about it :)

#hannibal #nbc hannibal #murder family #murder wives #margot verger #alana bloom #marlana #mason verger #hannibal nbc #will graham #hannigram #murder husbands #morgan verger

[kingkatsuki]

ok but if you’re up for it, can we pls talk abt tokoyami with a corruption kink? i’ve definitely touched on it before, but here’s today’s brainrot.

fumi loves seeing you in pastels and soft tones. in clothes that make you look innocent and sometimes modest. there’s just something about seeing you look so sweet that makes his blood run hot. he wants to play with that, taint it, watch it fall away.

depending on the context, i could see him enjoying it when you play dumb or like you’re so clueless and naive. there’s an appeal to both corrupting someone that’s innocent into doing gross things for him, and slowly getting someone with perceived innocence to open up and reveal how perverse and corrupted they already are. it’s then his priority to push that as much as possible (with consent obv).

you mention something that you might like or whatever and he coaxes you to talking about it in detail while planning in his head how he’s going to make it happen. you can blame dark shadow on that imo…. dark shadow drops little thoughts in his head all the time of “what if…” whenever you’re around. sometimes fumi’s face gets hot and flushed out of nowhere because of it, and he’s so thankful you can’t tell as long as he keeps his cool.

sigh. tokoyami is lovely.

I think it’s about the thrill of the chase for him, because Tokoyami has always been a patient man. And he’d wait more than a lifetime for you.

You’re such a pretty thing, far nicer than him. Far too good for him. So of course it’s not his fault when he gets a little carried away— telling you how pretty you’d look sprawled out beneath him while his fingers tease your clit. Whether you’d be able to take two of his fingers or if he’d have to stretch you out first, if you’d be good and take them for him.

It’s a sick and twisted game for him, corrupting something far prettier than him. Something that has him fucking into his fist at night as he pictures breaching your tight heat for the first time—

So he’s full of lingering touches and choice words, the kind that ruminate in your pretty little head whenever you try to fall asleep at night beneath your thick pink comforter and surrounded by your plush toys. Words that cause a heat to ferment between your thighs, soaking your panties and tainting your mind before Tokoyami has even had a chance to touch you.

And he knows it— lifting your hand to press a soft, sensual kiss to your palm as he smells the remnants of your slick against those pretty painted fingers. Because no amount of those sickly sweet body wash and lotions could ever wash away the saccharine scent of sheer depravity. Groaning deep in his chest as he pictures them pressed against your puffy clit as you think about all the sick, nasty things he wants to do to you— and he will do them.

It’s cute that you still try to act so innocent around him, even though he knows you’re anything but now. Tarred with the sick depravity that runs deep inside him, that’s threatening to bubble over and expose you for the dirty little girl you really are. The nasty slut that’s alrady caged inside you and is waiting to be set free— and just like a bird, he’ll let you soar.

“Aren’t you going to tell me how your night was, sweetheart?” He smiles so kindly, but he already knows the answer from how your cheeks flush and your thighs instinctively clench together, “You went to bed so early—“

He wants to hear you say it, wants those disgusting words to sound on the tip of your tongue. The depravity almost sounding sweet when you say it, filled with innocence and sincerity. How wet you were, how ruined m your cute panties were and how many times— Tokoyami wants to hear how many times you came touching yourself to the thought of him, because he’ll make you cum twice as many when you finally deserve his cock.

#tokoyami thirst #tokoyami smut #thirst posts #jo thirsts

[floralcyanide]

bucky coming back after flying and reader has been rly touch starved the whole time he was gone so when they both go to his place she asks him if he can touch her and he’s all??? and when he realises that she’s serious he’s sooo cocky abt it

ᴄᴏᴄᴋʏ ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙʟᴜʀʙ ― ᴊᴏʜɴ "ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ" ᴇɢᴀɴ

pairing: john "bucky" egan x reader

word count: 0.2k

warnings: innuendo, sexual tension, kissing, teasing

You and Bucky have been together for a few months while on base but have yet to do anything other than share secret kisses. After a particularly risky mission, you decide it’s time to take things up a notch, especially since the war is escalating, and you never know when the last time you’ll see Bucky will be. 

You and Bucky sneak to his bunk while everyone else is out celebrating the successful mission. The two of you are making out on his cot, and his hands stop short of your thigh like always, so he doesn’t push any further. 

“Touch me,” you whisper, pulling away from the kiss for a moment.

“What?” Bucky asks, not sure if he heard you correctly.

“Touch me,” you say a little louder.

“Did I hear you right?” Bucky smirks.

“Don’t make me say it again.”

“I just might make you if you really want me to touch you, baby,” Bucky teases, toying with the hem of your skirt.

“Please touch me, Bucky,” you whine, kissing him to keep him from making another smart comment.

His hand slides under your skirt, and the two of you make it as quick but pleasurable as possible while the rest of the base is unaware of your shenanigans. 

#john bucky egan #john egan x reader #john egan #bucky egan #john bucky egan x reader #bucky egan x reader #mota #masters of the air #anon #asks #floralcyanide writes #floralcyanide speaks #floralcyanide asks

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Qatar Grand Prix - Sprint - Oscar Piastri

#not my best ever gifs i dont think BUT IM SOOOOO HAPPPYYYYYYYY!!!!!! #OSCAR P1!!!!!! OSCAR WIN!!!!!! OSCAR ROOKIE WIN LETS GOOOOO #i still cant believe it this is absolutely insane #i feel like i find myself saying this every week about oscar but wow #back in bahrain i could never have imagined him winning a race this year!! IN HIS ROOKIE SEASON!!!! #I was shocked when i woke up to see him have gotten pole in the shootout #AND THEN TO WATCH HIM WIN!!!! SOOOOOOO GOOD #Im so proud of him sob sob sob #again: throwbacl to me and dru talking abt the possibility of him podiuming or even winning #and i was like no way i doubt it with this car. nevermind :) ive never been so happy to be incorrect #WHERE IS MARK!??!!?!??!!? WHERE ARE YOU???? YOUR BOY JUST FUCKING WON!!!! WHERE IS THE HUG???? WHERE IS THE CONGRATS??? #i swear to god if i check his insta and theres yet another animal vid on his story im going to kill the old man #HE WAS WANDERING AROUND THE GARAGE YESTERDAY FOR QUALI!! WHERE WAS HE TODAY AAAGHHHHHH #oscar piastri #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #2023 qatar grand prix #2023 qatar gp #we do a little bit of f1

[couch-house]

woe, updated fleet reference sheet be upon ye...

full transcript/description under the cut

TOP: Left to Right: Cropped panel of Fleetway Super Sonic. This guuuuy.

Merger AU Fleet is like 14-17 (the earrings are for 17). He's sustained on occasional doses of chaos energy from the grey emerald, but otherwise runs low. This keeps him fatigued, gives him some minor joint pain, and makes his quills pale and brittle.

Two drawings of Fleet in the same pose; one is short and round (classic-like) and one is taller and thinner (modern-like) surrounded by various notes. Features are stated here in brackets, followed by their note.

[Eyes] Eyes get slightly redder tint than other whites. [Fingertips] Bare fingers + palms. NOT paw pads. [Classic-like] (Not younger Fleet, I just like drawing him round) [Dark color at back of quills] Quill gradient optional [Earrings] Industrial on left, 2x studs on right [Eyebags] He's tired!! [Necklace] "Healing crystals" amethyst + 2 quartz necklace [Peace sign on shoes] Peace sign tied to top lace, flops around [Stud earrings] A moon with a gem I think. idc, I change my mind. Whatever is simple and purple. [Arms] Split yellow top/peach bottom arms is just my preferred stylization at this age. (Younger = solid peach arms) [Socks and fingerless gloves] Compression gloves and socks [Separate detailed drawing of shoes] The first and only time I drew all the details on his shoes

To the left is a single head, with more vibrant fur colors. Note: If he takes a big sippy of chaos energy, his fur darkens to a healthier color. His usual skin tones are a little paler than Sonic skin tones.

OUTFINTS [sic]

Modern Fleet drawn with three outfits of increasing layers/complexity. Far left is a yellow peace hoodie tie-dyed with orange, green, and blue. Notes: Tie-dye peace hoodie too big for him. If I ever draw it fitting, I'm lying. Quills poke out the back.

Middle is a black Thrasher Magazine tank top with the hoodie tied around his waist. Note: Thrasher logo.

Right is the middle outfit with the addition of green shorts and a bulky orange patch jacket with green trim. The patches are: The Groovy Train logo (with original comic reference), NINtendo (stylized like Nine Inch Nails), a grey emerald, a crystal ball, and a smiley face. [Back quills] idc abt quill consistency here; whatever looks better [Shorts] Shorts optional (sk8 gear) The green and orange match Dog and Bebe

#fleetway super sonic #stc #sonic the comic #sonic the hedgehog #sth #fanart #id in alt text #i just like pointing out all my decisions lalalala #sick and twisted i just didnt make proper refs for his outfits b4 #(bc i would just go hunt for the most recent reliable drawing iv'e done and ref that lol) #also cant decide if the studs should match or should each be from a different pair.... whatever i love to change my mind #um but i think this is everything i could possibly say abt beepo. he sure is little guy #if u go look back in my archive in october 2022 you can get jumpscared by the art change since his old ref

[bylertruther]

moodboard for when you lose the idgaf war. or something. again

#when i started this post there was no one online so like. can u guys turn around or smth -_- #anyway. feeling like a chump like a weenie like a marshmallow that's dissolving in someone's hot chocolate feeling very um . Feely #and tht isn't said in a self-deprecating way bc there's nothing wrong with being a sensitive person i'm jus. yk. saying tht it's not always #very fun. like i would very much rather feel like a toasty marshmallow being smushed in a delicious s'more rn but instead i'm trying to #express in the least vulnerable way possible tht i've felt a series of human emotions in quick succession tht make my heart beat funny #bc i think if i were to be any more open abt tht then i would likely disintegrate and i mean tht in the most normal I'm Okay way ever 👍 #and i jus think tht it Sucks tht u can be earnest n true n it won't matter bc if someone doesn't engage with u in good faith then there is #simply literally nothing that you can do but go ''Okay 👍'' #like. goes taut n keels over dead like a cartoon character. then reanimates bc i'm not done #that is just The Worst!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wdym!!!!!! #it should be enough. it should be but it isn't and i'm a little marshmallow melting in someone's drink they're stirring me and #i'm turning into foam like . There Has Got To Be Another Way Out Other Than Through Bro someone grab my collar and drag me out #this bitch like a cat on a leash someone hold their hands out or smth i just . *)%*^76)*%$^)%*43^rty)*%6$)6578^$%(*8796gk@$)*%$ #it will be ok . it will 👍

[selfindulgentfandomstuff]

Man, I truly do recognize that this was a BADDD time in my life for soooo many reasons

But sometimes I think back to my brief time at the university I went to right out of high school and while literally everything did suck monumentally-

I miss having a crush irl so bad sometimes, it’s just hitting tonite ig

#vent #vent tw #tw vent #once again tho it was NOT healthy in the slightest #I’m dead serious when I say I’m pretty sure I had a psychotic break during that period of time #and like it lasted probably weeks possibly a month or two I can’t really remember #I was actually delusional abt my crush at the time #and I KNOW it’s not normal or healthy but part of me kinda misses feeling that strongly for someone irl #idk ik this is probably concerning #but I AM getting better little by little and I’m slowly returning to a relatively normal personhood I prommy #it’s just 1 am where I am and I’m feeling a little silly with it #going to sleep now guys

[skunkg1rll]

when i love someone i WANT to learn abt their past traumas, their insecurities nd pain so that i can learn how to love them right. i want to understand how i should treat, reassure and comfort them. i want to learn their love languages so i can love them the way they need

#but why.... does no one ever want to do that for me? #i always have to bend and reshape so im as little bothersome as possible #and ppl always say stuff like omg u need to communicate nd u need to tell them blah blah blah #ok but what abt when u actually do all of that but no one listens to u???? #i actually do communicate my needs. very clearly #yet... im never heard or listened to #am i just not worth that??? idk.. i dont get it #i just ache to be loved the way i love. bc i know that i love wholly and profoundly #but im gonna run out if i cant receive the love that i need #:(((( #also it just hurts to be so understanding and supportive and want ppl to be comfortable #but then i dont get to take up any space or i dont get to have needs #i should only listen but never ask for anything in return #it just sucks #have i done smth wrong??? or am i just an awful person? delusional? #bc i have NEVER been in a space where im safe to express my feelings #not w my family. not friends. not even my therapists lmao (theyve also criticized nd judged me) #so im starting to think that maybe i actually am wrong #maybe if everywhrre i go im met by this. maybe i just need to suck it up #and be grateful for whatever scraps of love im thrown #bc clearly i am doing smth wrong!!!!!!

[bi-buck-coded]

.

#ik that i need to be honest with my doctor and tell him i havent been taking my meds… #but what if i lie instead and somehow fic it myself #its just what if like i tell him how long i havent been taking them and he decides that i dont deserve them?? #which isnt likely and would b a very shitty thing to do that i think legally he might not b able to do but #what if??? #i might lie a little and tell him but say its been a shorter amount of time than it actually has been #dude idk but im starting to feel like possibly i might have an episode soon like it feels like one might b coming on and im scared tbh #like idk at this point theres not much i can really do except make aure im getting sleep and continuing to go to my lifting classes #but ya idk #i need to figure out how to get back on track with my meds but im scared to talk to him abt it bc i Just started seeing him #i also start therapy with a new therapist tomorrow and thats scary #but maybe i could talk to het abt it idk

[sadhorsegirl]

#finally got three days off from work in a row and am happy to announce ill be making a return to my true passion -- moiraine posting ! #directors cut commentary in the tags obvi lol #first off if there was any god in this world the fiona apple cover of whole of the moon would be on spotify #second need it on the official record that i am intentionally misinterpreting jig of life for the purposes of this playlist!! #i know on the album its part of a series of story songs abt a woman drowning and her future self going girl u have to swim or u wont have #your future family!!! #but. what if i made it about an alternate version of moiraine being like u are never going to be able to fully escape the heterosexual #horror saw trap of ur upbringing that haunts her upon return to cairhien...is this clicking with anyone else out there.... #had to throw on heat lightning and unravel for a spot of (possibly uplifting ?) romance #and also bc the tumblr user previously known as loamvessel is so right and true for saying heat lightning is a siuraine/moiraine song #anywayyy this is a playlist abt moiraine suffering returning to her home town after graduating from college and failing to kill the devil #and all the weird feelings she must have about cairhien and her place in the pattern/more self reflection on her younger years #in the aftermath of season one #with little hints about how her dynamic might be shifting with siuan as she self isolates #enjoy lol love making playlists happy summer cant wait till september etc etc #moiraine damodred #wheel of time #wot on prime #playlist

[lambentplume]

yapping aimlessly tonight

#jaerambles #i just have a lot in my brain!! #anyway i keep getting asked what i would want to do in an ideal situation. if money and time and stuff were no object #i really do think it would be just aimless learning. #like learning new crafts. reading without having to respond to it. sponging up knowledge without the expectation to Say Things #it feels a bit. selfish. #but i don’t really have an endpoint to reach nor do i have something to say. like i just want to acquire experiences and learn things #i get really nervous when people ask me what makes me happy because i don’t know. i know what makes me uncomfortable and scared though #i would also like the ability to just change my situation a lot as much as i want. moving to new places and leaving when i don’t like them #trying new professions without having to stick to them or work up a ladder #drop everything for a weekend to go see friends. things like that. #i say all these things as though i haven’t been too afraid to leave my house for the past 6 months djfjdjfjdjfjjd #i’m trying to be less avoidant lately though. like ideal situations are not my reality! #real life is me being too scared to think of possibilities so in reality i just have to take the tiniest steps back to normalcy #ppl with the jae lore remember when my commute to school was literally 5000 miles #or when i worked two jobs and was so about the grind because i had a reason to want the money #like i used to have So much going on. and now i don’t. and i don’t know what i am in the absence of being Busy #there’s still so much i don’t understand abt bpd1 i’m so scared of making changes too suddenly because i HATE who i was in august #or not who i was. what i was doing. #but now i’ve swung the other direction and i do nothing 😭 i don’t feel like i’m Living rn #i feel like i’ve started all over again. i almost had it i was gonna do two internships and keep doing my cute little barista job #and have a senior year that was gonna be about growing and finishing strong #and then of course my maladjusted ass sees [irreversible change event] and like. yknow #this keeps. happening to me. i want to be so much better than this 😭😭😭

[celestial-toys]

been laying here listening to Lucky by Dermot Kennedy on loop for half an hour while thinking about Everything Stays and crying

#it’s good crying dw i am just. i have so many feelings about this story #Seven’s Celestial Commentary #Everything Stays #writing stuff #i may be stuck in bed struggling to type due to personal reasons but that will Not stop me from cooking up ideas for this fic #there is gonna be so much fucking angst and it’s gonna hurt soooooo good #the more i listen to it the more the possibilities expand #i can easily see Moon and Reader going back and forth between verses vulnerably arguing over Sun #but i can also see it being Sun and Moon getting real and discussingcougharguingover Reader #can’t decide which i like more #god i wish y’all could see this story the way it plays out in my head #next best thing would be to keep writing and sharing the story instead of vagueposting abt future plot points tho wouldn’t it lmao #and GOD don’t even get me fucking STARTED on Two Hearts… #Dermot Kennedy’s music is responsible for yet Another plot point for this story and i can’t even be mad about it. his fucking lyricsss dude #‘and so we jump to the THEATER??? in that SAME OLD TOWN???’ DO WE? FUCK I GUESS WE DO NOW!!! #picture me listening to that song and inspiration hitting me like a truck. diligently taking notes like the lyrics r instructions from God #‘she sees his face?? and HE sees HER as the LIGHTS GO DOWN???’ write that down write that down #‘the life that they should’ve had sat between them that night??’ FUCK Man yeah it sure did!!! #anyways it’s chill i’m chill. i’m very normal about my little stories and their musical inspirations! #and i’ve listened to these songs a very normal amount (translation: they will likely be in my top ten for the 2024 wrapped) #(cut to the scenes playing vividly in my head) ‘Well‚ at least I can always say that I /told/ her!’ #‘I can’t relate to having a heart like that‚ Sun! With all of your wonder and your trust intact…’ #like no i wouldn’t lift the lyrics directly for the song to use as dialogue but FUCk does it work well.. Lucky is such a good script for- #like- a heated conversation between my Relentlessly Positive Sun and my Apathetic Jaded Moon #‘How could our farewell mean as much as our time? Honey‚ I’ll be gone. It’s better if I’m something that you leave behind.’ #‘I used to paint these trees‚ now I just scream at the sky. Honey I was wrong. Guess there’s certain things you never leave behind.’ #*sobbing shaking throwing up clawing at the walls* I Am Normal About These Characters #anyways uh. on an unrelated note how many song lyrics do ya think i can cram into ES before it’s Too Many #gonna have to start getting creative with how i can incorporate more songs in a way that feels natural and not forced #even tho i am forcing it. i am forcing it very much bc i have songs with applicable lyrics and y’all Will read them one way or another

[piplupod]

one of the cashiers at the grocery store i go to is so fucking fixated on shoplifters and it drives me crazy any time i check out through him (i try to avoid him but his checkout is often the most open/empty - hm! i wonder why! - and im often on a tight schedule w the bus). he brings up shoplifters every opportunity he gets and he seems so convinced that theyre a huge problem.

BUT WHAT REALLY GETS ME ,,, is that today the customer in front of me was needing a price check on one of the items bc it should've come out to be cheaper, so he was kind of apologetic abt it and saying "ah well, yknow, six dollars is six dollars, especially with how expensive groceries are right now" and i was nodding and agreeing (trying to show that i dont mind the wait and also solidarity my guy good for u for speaking up and getting the price fixed on that) AND THE CASHIER AGREES. FULLY ACKNOWLEDGES AND BEMOANS THE FACT THAT GROCERIES ARE CRAZY RN. AND THEN GOES ON TO COMPLAIN ABOUT SHOPLIFTERS. HUH ??????

so you agree that groceries are unreasonably expensive... and that sometimes ppl can't afford them... and yet ....................

#HE MAKES ME SO FUCKING ANGRY CMONNNN THINK ABOUT IT DUDE.... #i knew him in highschool (small town things lol) and im pretty sure he was one of those kids who thought cops were really cool. so. yknow. #not surprised. just annoyed fdjkl #i would say smth like ''oh does ur paycheque get docked if shoplifters come thru or smth?'' but i dont want to piss him off #i would like to remain civil with the cashiers here bc its the only grocery store i can get to most of the time fdsjkl #but like. i would love to find out why he hates shoplifters so much #when i worked at DQ in highschool and ppl stole dilly bars or FULL CAKES... i did not give a single shit #even though the managers and boss would get kind of angry at us (but they knew we couldnt do anything abt it really lmao) #and then we had to put locks on the customer-facing freezers which was a hassle for us #AND STILL. I NEVER FELT ANGRY AT THE SHOPLIFTERS. BECAUSE WHATEVER DUDE LIFE IS EXPENSIVE GO GET THAT ICE CREAM!!! #also i was not paid enough to care LMFAO and i know for a fact that this cashier isn't paid enough either bc my brother used to work there #I DUNNO DUDE. HONESTLY I HAVE MAD RESPECT FOR SHOPLIFTERS #i've potentially done it a few times and its fucking terrifying esp w the amount of cameras installed now fdsjkl #i dont do it now even though i need to more than ever bc i was making myself sick every time i possibly did it #i'd get home and sit in the bathroom for an hour trying to make sure i wasnt about to throw up from the stress fdsjkl #also it was stupid to do honestly (but . needed. so yknow.) bc again. i dont have any other options for accessible grocery stores really #ANYWAYS. fuck that cashier i hope he realizes what a little narc he's being and gains some class consciousness or smth idk #all for one and one for all etc etc etc we're all in this together my guy #pippen needs 2nd breakfast