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escailyyy · 7 years

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A grandaughter's problem

“Ah so there’s my little lightsaber, come to visit your old granddaddy eh?” Obiwan Kenobi huffed wheeling his wheelchair down the hall of his retirement haven, towards the angry form of his most rebellious granddaughter Kira, rolling his eyes at her revealing clothes he raised an eyebrow in the way only a retired member of the Special Joined, Equanimity Division of Intelligence (J.E.D.I) order could “you just missed Rey and Daisy, who by the way had a very interesting piece of gossip to share”

“Daisy and Rey don’t know anything” Kira snapped crossing her arms over her scantily clad chest, taking in his subtle chastisement and making a beeline for Obiwan’s linen closet, emerging minutes later clad in one of her grandfather’s old black Jedi Council tunics and sweatpants three sizes too big “they need to stay out of my bloody life, what gives them the right to butt in?”

“So, you haven’t been receiving flowers for a whole week in a row coupled with Slayer CD’s?” Grandfather Kenobi wondered raising an eyebrow “and you haven’t been refusing to let them read the cards that come with said gifts?” Wheeling himself to the adjacent kitchen Obiwan reached for the ever-boiling kettle that was a hallmark of the Kenobi household “have some tea Kira”

“FINE, I’ll tell you…but only because you’re you and because you’re not being a pain in the ass like Tweedle Dee Dee and Tweedle Dee Dum” Kira accepted the tea with a grudging smile and groaned “Gramps I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me!! I swear one minute I’m fine, going about my life, punching the crap out of my competition in the ring and one minute I’m not and then everything goes bloody sideways, and it’s all my stupid fault for saving Ben’s life”

“Kira, calm down, I assume it’s a long story yes?”

“Of course it is arghhh I just want to punch the bloody asshole”

“Start with the beginning, why did you have to save Ben’s life?”

Obiwan sighed, he often told himself had done a good job with the girls, Luke and Leia could vouch for that, after surviving the fall of the Emperor’s drug empire and with Anakin (no longer Vader) living out his remaining days in a high security glorified nursing home, Obiwan Kenobi hadn’t planned on one day being contacted by social services just about ten or so years later with the news that the secret son he’d had with Satine, who was supposed to be living a happy tragedy less life in Mandalore, was dead and unless he claimed custody of his son’s three orphan children the girls would be shipped off to some place far like Jakku.

So Obiwan had stepped up, retired to a modest house near the beach in Yavin IV and raised the girls himself with the occasional help from what was left of his friends.

Funny how the reason he’d abstained from mixing too much with Leia’s family was because he thought her own set of pre teen triplets were already enough work for Han and her her and in the end it turned out that it was Obiwan who found himself handing out sage advice to her.

Kenobi didn’t regret raising the girls away from Coruscant, if anything he was glad Rey, Kira and Daisy had gone to small town schools and roamed the beach and woods to their hearts content.

He just hadn’t counted with their strange fascination towards the Solo boys.

Anakin (Mustafar blast him) liked to laugh trough his life support and tell him he deserved it for all the grief Obiwan ever put his former Padawan trough.

“The beginning…Well, I guess it started last year when that bantha shit of Ben Solo said I wouldn’t know how to dress like a real girl even if Jessica Pava herself let me borrow her whole wardrobe, which is a load of… ”

“Was this before or after you ruined Kylo’s chance with Rey by showing her that video of him trashing his tattoo parlor after talking to Han” her Grandfather interrupted with narrowed eyes

“a bit after, the next day I think” Kira admitted ruefully “in my defense I have nothing against Kylo, he’s just a violent weirdo who doesn’t deserve Rey”

“Kira! You told Rey that Kylo had torched the falcon with Han inside!” Obiwan scolded “And belittle him infront of her every time you get a chance”

“He’s not good enough for her! Someone’s got to make sure she knows it” Kira protested crossing her arms over her chest.

“And Daisy with Matt?”

“Those two can ruin their relationship on their own”

“KIRA LAN KENOBI” Obiwan snapped raising his voice to scold her once again “sabotaging the happiness of your sisters is not something I approve of”

“But Grandpa!”

“Just continue your story”

“Well, then I told Ben that how would he know, since the only time he’s ever been interested in girls clothes was when he’s trying to take them off some poor unsuspecting soul”

“It all escalated from there until he said that from looking at my chest he understood why guys ran away from me”

“And you punched him in the face” Obiwan guessed wisely

“I did”

“You know his hostility might have had something to do with your single-minded tendency of ruining his brother’s happiness” but her grandfather’s observation got ignored by Kira

“But every time we’ve seen each other since then is the same thing” Kira kept on talking “he was always bloody remarking on the fact that I’m too boyish and tough and violent, and screw him I might not be all boobs and ass like Bazine but I’m not a bloody guy!”

“Isn’t that Bazine the girl you called “skanky cabaret stripper” after the Solo’s last New Year’s Eve party?“ Obiwan recalled the moniker being repeated with way too much frequency whenever Kira complained about Ben Solo’s womanizing and why that made Kylo and Matt entirely wrong for Rey or Daisy

"That’s the one, she’s got fake: nails, boobs, hair, teeth and personality"Kira listed angrily before returning to the subject at hand "so last week after debating it out with Rey in Han’s garage I got fed up, I just went downtown, bought a couple of dresses that would make even someone like Solo stop and pay attention and showed up at Poe’s birthday bash with Rey”

“Yes, I remember, incidentally Daisy told me that you and I quote "looked like a goddess of darkness, but got angry and left early’ and those were her exact words”

Kira smirked she HAD looked like a goddess thank you very much, that red and black one shoulder cocktail dress with her best skull printed fishnet stockings and loose hair had been enough to make her stand out even next to Phasma (which was a feat considering Phas had the term ‘Chrome Queen’ down to a trademark and Kira always looked like a punk rock Hobbit when they hung out together) “here’s the thing Granps, Hux was there too, he tried flirting with moi, which made me laugh at every three words he said”

“Why? Didn’t you want boys to notice the pretty dress? Daisy said Hux was your type” Obiwan had long ago accepted the fact that his girls were grown up, honestly after having to give them the talk before puberty and managing to survive ten or so years of synchronized periods, he considered the whole talking-about-boys thing the least traumatic of conversation topics.

“Hey one, ew it’s Hux, he doesn’t count as a boy because he’s a ginger and please feel free to take offense, gingers are the devil” Kira pointed out making her grandfather laugh “two, everytime Armitage Hux tries flirting with me it’s only because he’s trying to look casual when he turns around to make an actual move on Phasma, constipated and anal retentive as he is” Kira snorted “and three, it wasn’t a PRETTY dress, it was a badass masterpiece of clothing that was dug out from a ceremonial tomb in the ruins of Jedha and restored to its original glory by a black market Tailor”

“Kira what have I told you about doing your shopping in the ill-obtained-goods district of Coruscant?” Old Kenobi interjected with exasperation

“It’s a dress Grandpa…Or two or three, the tomb of Wesi Ker isn’t going to miss them and they came at a lower rate than the designer garbage General Organa loves to dress Rey in”

“Force give me patience” Grandfather said elevating his eyes to the sky “Don’t change the subject young lady, what did Hux do that you left early?”

“Hux? Nothing, didn’t I just tell you that Hux has a weird fetish for gigantic and blonde bi ladies?” Kira snapped, recalling Hux smarmy compliments “it was Ben! He’s the one who called me hot one moment and as soon as he saw Hux said I looked like cheap a skin girl, the idiot, chauvinistic, pompous bantha anus that he is”

“I take it you also punched him for the remark” in fact if she hadn’t it would have been a sign of the Apocalypse for Old Kenobi

“Of course not, it was Poe’s birthday, I promised Rey that there would be no punching”

“Then what..” old Obiwan raised his finger to ask

“…I took advantage of the slit in the leg of my dress to knee him in the nuts” Kira elaborated then she added for good measure “like a lady good and proper”

Privately Obiwan hoped it had hurt as much as Kira’s pride “so you left early” he deduced with a knowing look

“And ended up saving Ben Solo’s life, when I should have left him to die”

“I take it there’s more to the story than just leaving early then”

“Look I was going to! I even made nice with Poe and everything, bought him this very nice empire era X-Wing air freshener as a gift and abstained from insulting Finn’s obvious bad taste in boyfriends” Kira protested hotly “But Poe, the bloody Tautun, had to make a whole spectacle out of it and Daisy was begging me to stay because she’s Daisy and since Solo is Poe’s best friend, he attempted to cajole me into letting him drive me home, Grandpa, the gall of him! as tough I’m some simpering little idiot who doesn’t know what nasty shit he uses the Millennium Falcon for”

“Kira, didn’t you carpool in Rey’s car that day? Ben Solo might be a scoundrel but I’d have to agree on that one” Obiwan interrupted “I know, I know, you’re Kira Kenobi and can take care of yourself, but don’t blame an old man for being a worrier”

“I was planning to use my speeder, since Phasma brought it and I knew she’d be crashing with he’s-just-a-good-colleague Hux in his fancy Coruscant penthouse”

“A speeder in a dress? Force help me Kira! Not even your grandmother ever did that and believe me, I saw Satine wear a lot of strange clothing when escaping assassination attempts back in the day”

“Solo said the same thing…Well give or take a few ‘do you plan on flashing all the Commonwealth district’ and 'Kira let me drive you home blah blah blah’ oh and when I wouldn’t listen to him he kissed me but that’s unimportant what’s important is that Dabba the Hutt’s minions…”

“Kira?” Obiwan leveled her another Jedi Council eyebrow raise “Ben Solo kissed you?”

“He did, I was trying to get away from him, he followed me to the parking lot and kissed me” She squirmed under her grandfather’s all knowing look

“Ben, the scoundrel you’ve been complaining about since you were thirteen, that Ben” Another Jedi Council eyebrow

“Yes that Ben, the same one I slapped minutes later”

“The Ben that you claim not to like”

“Grandpa! I really don’t like him, he’s an egocentric prick with a hero complex and a wandering dick” Kira didn’t like the laughter in her grandfather’s eyes not one bit and okay maybe that first kiss hadn’t been that bad and maybe he’d tasted like cigarettes and corellian wine but she absolutely still hated him

“Oh the follies of youth my child”

“Anyway, he kissed me, and don’t look at me like that I slapped the grin of his face and told him I’d never in a million years be a notch in his bedpost then he got angry and told me he’d see me in hell for that lie and I thought that was it, except it wasn’t because as he was leaving the parking lot to join the party Dabba the Hutt’s minions ambushed him”

“What is it with Solo men and angering Hutts? I could tell our one or two stories about Han in his Hutt days that would make even you feel like vomiting” Obiwan huffed as he put two and two together “he might be my namesake but Ben takes after his father too much, why didn’t they just name the boy Han junior?”

“I know! But guess what it turns out this time it wasn’t Ben’s fault” Kira smirked “I know shocking isn’t it”

“Very” her grandfather agreed bring the mug of tea to his lips

“So the twilek and the togruta mobsters ambushed him because that skank of Bazine is now Dabba the Hutt’s sidepiece, and pummeled Ben into submission before stuffing the idiot in the back of a van” then she paused “this is the part where I decided to be an idiot too and followed them in my speeder” she HAD been forced to rip her dress but the shorter length had suited her just fine

“Did you subdue them with a blaster or did you let your fist do the talking?” Obiwan hummed putting his mug down

“A Blaster but how did you know?” In fact she’d followed them into a warehouse and had started shooting warning blasts as soon as she saw Solo tied up with a bag over his head

“I raised you Kira, I know everything” was the sage answer she got

“Anyway there was I shooting at some Hutt minions, saving Solo’s ass, handing him my spare gun and he suddenly gives me that look!” Kira grumbled opening her eyes exaggeratedly and fluttering her eyelashes while trying to imitate Ben “you know the look, the pathetic one Kylo gives Rey when she’s not looking”

“Ahh the Bambi eyes”

“Yes and it’s ridiculous because I’m beating the shit out of those dumpsters for him and we’re right in the middle of a fight, what the hell Grandpa? I didn’t ask for the Bambi eyes!” Kira got angrier “that’s Matt’s deal, hell it’s Kylo’s too, but I am Kira Kenobi and I could have lived the rest of my life perfectly happy without knowing Ben was capable of directing that look at me”

Obiwan knew exactly what look she was talking about, the one that only a Skywalker could replicate, a gaze that was a mixture of awe, worship and admiration with just the right ammount of love that made mooncalfs look tame. Leia had a habit of sporting Bambi eyes whenever she looked at Han after the war.

In hindsight maybe the triplets had inherited the look from Shmi Skywalker, the blame for this couldn’t be laid exclusively at Anakin’s door.

“So he gave you the Bambi eyes and…”

“And now I’m doomed”

“Perfectly understandable”

“No I mean yes, I mean” Kira fisted her hands “We were fighting and he’s looking at me like I’m his new religion or something and then we’re tying up the twilek and the togruta and getting the hell out of Dodge in my speeder and it felt so right grandpa” she took a deep breath and a gulp of tea “and then I’m dropping him off at the Senate building and he’s kissing me again, only this time I kiss him back because dammit who can resist those stupid brown eyes when they have that look”

“So that’s why you think you’re doomed” Obiwan agreed “you’re right dear, you are very much doomed, has he asked you to marry him yet?”

“After we broke apart from that kiss”

“And now he’s sending you flowers” Grandfather chuckled “if you dislike the gesture why don’t you tell him to stop?”

“Because then I’d have to talk to him!” Kira replied then she smiled a little bit momentarily lighting up the perpetual scowl on her face “besides nobody has ever sent me flowers before, all the guys that like me are way too scared”

“What do your sisters think about it?”

“Oh Force if they knew it’s him I’ll never hear the end of it from Rey, they all know scoundrels are so not my kriffin type”

“Exept one scoundrel apparently is”

“I blame the Bambi eyes” Kira crossed her arms over her chest “and you grandpa are not allowed to tell anybody capisce?”

“Who would I tell?” Obiwan lied knowing fully well what his next topic of discussion with Anakin would be when they met up for senior discount brunch in his penitentiary’s cafe

“So what do I do? I don’t want to like him, he’s still an asshole with a hero complex and a womanizer track record”

“Trust the force?” Her grandfather joked earning him a glower from Kira “just follow your instincts Kira, that’s what my old master used to say”

“Your old master died a virgin”

“Actually Qui Gon lied to the Jedi Council about that but that’s a story for another day”

“So it wasn’t just you and vader who lied about that?…You know you Jedis had a ton of double standards” Kira needled in, much like the eldest Solo triplet, Kira had also done a stint in the Secret, Institution for Terror and Hostility (S.I.T.H) that opposed the Jedi order during her teens.

Obiwan had breathed easily when Kira’s fascination with the emperor (who was rumored to be related to the triplets mysterious mother) had dwindled from Sith tendencies down into a simple knack for collecting empire related memorabilia. As opposed to Kylo’s much more painful experience at the hands of Snoke the last head of the Sith organization.

“And that’s a lesson to learn from the old Jedi order that Luke took into account” Obiwan cut off good-naturedly “avoid double standards” he sent her a pointed look “anything else you’d like to share? I can see it’s eating you, trust me my dear if he likes you everything will be fine”

“His last flowers came with tickets to a Black Sabbath concert” Kira confessed ruefully “I didn’t exactly talk to him, but I might have sent him a text telling him to pick me up in three hours”

“I don’t know what millennials are calling that nowadays but in my time we called that a date”

“It’s not a date! I don’t do dates, dates are for pathetic people like Matt and Daisy”

“Does Ben Solo know that?” Obiwan chuckled

“Shut up Grandpa” Kira put her head in her arms and let out a scream “Force I’m so kriffin doomed”

And Obiwan did as a good grandfather would and didn’t voice his agreement out loud “it’s all right Kira, if he gets too out of hand you can just punch him again”

“What if I don’t want to punch him?” Kira raised her head from her arms

“Then you don’t punch him, simple as that”

“I don’t want to be a notch in his bedpost, I’d die if I’m just a game for his stupid nerf herder ass”

“Kira any man that even thinks that you’re the type of girl that gets used like that, deserves all the pain he’ll get when you disabuse him of the notion”

“Thanks Grandpa, that…Made me feel oddly better”

Obiwan sighed leave it to Kira to be comforted by thoughts of violent retribution “You have a Jedi blessing to break that boy’s bones if he doesn’t behave”

“And here I thought you couldn’t be a sweeter old man” Kira smiled “thank you, I really needed to hear that”

Oh Anakin would have a life support field day when Obiwan shared the latest Grandchild gossip, that’s for sure, but in the meantime Obiwan Kenobi poured more tea and listened to Kira’s dramatic death threats towards the man she liked.

He wished Satine could see him now, she would laugh too.

An: lils happy early birthday, Dark Rey was fun to write. Lilithsaur dear this fic was inspired by Franco and Sarita’s relationship in PDG. Also the girls love for quirky Grandpa Martin..

#lilithsaur #trash triplets #ben/kira #dark rey / smuggler ben #grandpa obiwan kenobi #reylo fanfic #reylo #reylo trash

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gospelofme · 2 years

Text

Annual Clone Reunion

Alternate Ending

The week had been marvelous. The children were playing and getting along. The spouses were bonding and enjoying each other’s company. Wolffe watched his girls playing in the treehouse with Kix’s daughter and Rex’s sons. He looked over at General Plo, who was chatting with General Kenobi. Plo was wearing his “Cool Grandpa” shirt with pride.

“Alright guys!!! It’s time! Last one in is Jabba’s personal bather!!” Fives yelled as he ran towards the water, followed by Echo, Kix, Jesse, Cody, Rex, and Anakin. Wolffe was not participating in the Polar Swim. Not after last year. Besides, breakfast was almost ready and he’d be damned if Fives hogged all the bacon again. It was cold enough to see his brothers’ breath on the air, the water wasn’t frozen but it was going to feel like it was.

The guys ran down the dock and all jumped in at once, some twisting to avoid landing on each other.

“There’s a lot of carrots in that stew…” Cody’s fiancé muttered. The wives were drinking their caf on the large porch.

“Eh…carrots and a parsnip.” Padmé suddenly spoke up. There was a pause as all the women and Wolffe, Kenobi, and Plo looked at Padmé, who innocently sipped her caf. The women all suddenly shrieked in laughter that echoed for miles. The guys freezing their asses off in the lake all looked over confused.

After two minutes more, the guys ran out of the lake and hurried up to a heater that Kenobi switched on with the Force. They wrapped up in Mylar and fleece blankets and argued about who was in last.

“Skywalker was the last in!” Echo said.

“No I wasn’t! It was Cody!” Anakin replied, shivering.

“Pfft, I was in before Rex because I saw him shove Fives out of the way.” Cody answered, his teeth chattering.

“Well I don’t think it’s fair that Echo threw his prosthetic arm in, that doesn’t mean you were first!” Fives said through his shaking. Echo shrugged, saying Fives was just jealous.

Breakfast was served not long after that, everyone gathering around together to enjoy the meal. Cody suddenly heard a faint beeping. It seemed to be coming from the kitchen, a timer most likely. But no one seemed to acknowledge it.

“Hey, there’s a timer going off.” He said, Padmè pausing to listen.

“I don’t hear anything.”

“Really?” Cody asked. Padmè shook her head.

“Maybe you have water in your ears?” Rex questioned. Cody looked at his brother, who suddenly appeared different. His hair looked like it had grown out considerably. Cody grew concerned when he noticed Fives and Echo were gone. Their places empty. Their families gone as well.

“Where did Echo and Fives go? Rematch with the swim?” Cody asked, looking back at the lake.

“What are you talking about? They’re dead.” Anakin said abruptly, almost snapping at Cody in an uncharacteristic manner.

“No they’re not! They were right here! You talked to them!” Cody replied. The beeping was getting louder and starting to drive him crazy.

“Are you sure you can’t-“ he looked to where Kenobi had been sitting. It was empty.

“General Kenobi?” He looked around, starting to panic now.

“Obiwan!!” He stood and yelled towards the darkening surroundings.

“You killed him remember. On Utapau.” Wolffe spoke, Cody looking at his brother in shock.

“That’s fucking crazy!” He shouted back at his fading brother.

“Wolffe, what’s happening to you? What’s going on?”

“You need to wake up.” Was the Commander’s sharp reply.

Cody startled awake, the beeping of his alarm giving him a headache. He was in his quarters, the hum of the Star Destroyer’s engines told him the ship was in hyperspace. A light brightened as a refresher door opened, and Marshal Commander Bacara walked into the room.

“Shut that damn thing off will ya?” He groaned, towel drying his hair. Cody reached over slowly and shut the alarm off. Bacara frowned at him.

“What’s wrong? You look weird.” He stated. Cody’s senses slowly returning.

“Just another nightmare.” He muttered.

“Hmpf.” Bacara replied. “Well, get up and get ready. I don’t want to deal with the new recruits by myself.”

@jgvfhl @thatonegreyghost @halzore

@escapedthesarlacc @eyecandyeoz

@adriiibell @echostanley

@iamthespacegeneral

#star wars #the clone wars #star wars the clone wars #commander cody #captain rex #commander wolffe #obiwan kenobi #anakin skywalker #plo koon #arc trooper echo #arc trooper fives #arc trooper jesse #marshal commander cody #marshal commander bacara

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inkognito97 · 7 years

Note

In the sith family au can we have obiwan be happy that he gets to meet his grandpa dooku and tahl finds it adorable that the great darth tyranus is cooing and spoiling a 6 year old obiwan kenobi.

Obi-Wan was not sure what he was supposed to think, when his parents told him that they were expecting important company. Every time they said that, it meant that they were meeting someone, who created plans with them. Young Obi-Wan had no idea what that meant, he just knew that he was usually not supposed to talk and interact with those people. His mother said they were dangerous and should be avoided by young little Sith.

But when this ‘important company’ finally arrived, Obi-Wan did not think that he was the same as all the others. No, decided the six year old, this man was different. He was proud and looked a lot better - and older - than the others his parents met. Also, Obi-Wan could feel the Force swirl around him.

From his hiding place, he was actually peeking through a open door, he watched how his father’s shoulders were clasped tightly, though it seemed to be some kind of caress.

“What is this,” a female voice whispered right into Obi-Wan’s ear, startling him and making him yelp out in surprise. He had not only alerted the strange man and his father to his presence, but he had also stumbled right into the living room.

With wide blue-green eyes, Obi-Wan looked at the tall stranger. He was not as tall as his Daddy, but still very tall. All his attention was focused on the brown haired man, whose hair was starting to turn gray.

“And who might that be?” even his voice sounded cultivated.

Obi-Wan did not dare to speak up, but thankfully, his father came to his rescue. “Master Yan, meet our son Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan, meet my old Master Yan Dooku.”

“It is very nice making your acquaintance, young Obi-Wan,” he inclined his head in a little bow.

Usually such words would not help breaking the ice for a six year old, but Obi-Wan was used to much worse. “Nice to meet you,” he answered instead with a small smile and a little bow. When he looked up again, the other man’s eyes had softened a little. He also felt warmer.

“Obi-Wan,” Tahl had followed her son after his hasty retreat into the living room after her little teasing, “Yan is…”

“Your grandfather,” Dooku did not let the female Sith finish. Immediately three pairs of eyes settled on him, but the oldest Sith in the room, ignored the surprise at his statement.

Joy sparkled in Obi-Wan’s eyes and it echoed in the Force aura around him.

Tahl could not quite believe what she was seeing and one brief glance in her husband’s direction told him everything he needs to know, he was just as shocked as she was, perhaps even more. There he was, the great Darth Tyranus, feared throughout the whole galaxy and by all the Jedi, sitting on their couch with a six year old in his lap. And that was not all, he was also listening to every story their young one could come up with , making comments and the appropriate noises just at the right times, meaning that he was truly listening. Also, he was discreetly handing their son cookies every now and then on which Obi-Wan would happily chew, allowing the adults to talk. It was a merry sight, yet also quite unusual. It was also hard to say, who felt more happy and content, Obi-Wan or his new grandfather.

“Grandpa?” Obi-Wan suddenly asked, ignoring the half eaten treat he was still holding.

“Yes my boy?” not even the endearment bothered the usually stoic and proud man.

“What is a Jedi… and why don’t you like them?” Qui-Gon realized that the boy must have been listening after all, at least a little bit.

“That my dear boy, is a long story. One, which I will tell you later.”

“Promise?” his eyes were impossible wide, his tone pleading.

“I promise.” That seemed to be enough for the youngest member of their small family, for he returned his attention to his half eaten cookie.

Tahl and Qui-Gon exchanged an amused look. At least now they knew, were they could ‘dump’ Obi-Wan, when they needed some alone-time…

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #tahl #quitahl #count dooku #adopted obi wan #Sith AU #sith family #sith obi-wan #sith qui-gon #sith tahl #sith dooku #grandpa dooku #prompt #anonymous #my fics

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