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aroaceconfessions · 9 months

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You know, sometimes I think that I am, in fact, broken. Because how come I long to be loved like those beautiful poetries and romances I read, like, desperately... At the same time that I'm unable to return it? I've searched for it on multiple people, but I give up when I realize how selfish I'm being when I couldn't feel something towards them. I just loved the idea of love and being loved, not them. Then the only things that I have left is art and the consolation that "at least I have my best friend, my family", but they're finding this type love themselves and building their families. I try to get comfort on the fact that "as a single person with no partner and kids I will have more freedom and money", but idk... Sometimes I just wish I had someone to hold me, to kiss my face and say beautiful words to me. And "AroAce" is far away from being a known expression in my country, imagine "queer platonic"... Sorry for the long self pity rant. I'm just incredible sad these days.

Submitted July 9, 2023

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aroaceconfessions · 1 year

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(tw for very romantic discussions)

i asked my boyfriend if it bothered him when i talked about being arospec. we've been dating for about 5 years now, he's known i was arospec since before we started dating, as of rn i believe he identifies as 100% allo, and i fully intend on marrying him someday. so i worry that when i talk about being arospec - when i use aroace as a blanket term (because i'm 100% ace and somewhere on the greyro spectrum) or call my favourite characters arospec or whatever - i worry that he'll think it means i don't love him, that he'll think our relationship means less than it does.

i expressed this worry to him. he said "baby, i wouldn't care if one day you realised you were 100% aro. you'd still be my baby."

...have i mentioned i'm going to marry this man? because i'm going to marry this man. he knows exactly what to say to make me melt. i've never romantically loved another person so strongly in my entire life

Submitted March 31, 2023

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aroaceconfessions · 10 months

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As ace (and probably somewhere on gray-aro specturm), it juwt sometimes hurts so much. Because I DO want a partner, somebody to spend my life with, to wake up and eat breakfast together, to lean against while watching a movie, to discuss anything and everything with, somebody to be mine and where i would be theirs.

But it always feels so helpless. Because they are not going to be into me unless i pretend to be something i am not. Because people want sex, and kissing, and all of that and it took me over a year of daily conditioning until that stopped being worse than torture in my mind.

And its fine that many aces/aros/aroaces are happy single and dont want family and relationships amd anything to do with it all. But i just want to acknowledge the struggle of those who are aro and ace and still want family, relationships, closeness and marriage, just without the sex/romance. Its hard when we are not built for the way society perceives things we so desperately want. I believe it will get better. We are not alone and we will get through it.

Submitted May 30, 2023

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aroaceconfessions · 9 months

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being an aro person who does romantic relationships is so hard, like there’s joy in it and i really do like being in them. but the break ups are so much worse, cause there’s all this uncertainty about if it’s cause of my identity. i’m grey-romantic, so finding someone i’m into romantically is hard enough so then ending it is that much harder for me. don’t get me wrong there are aspects of break ups i’m grateful for but i feel like i have a harder time with it than my allo-ro friends. my last relationship ended cause i got used as a rebound and it was the first time in a while i had felt romantic attraction so that makes it harder, there’s also uncertainty of not feeling it again. which i’m fine with it if i never experience romantic attraction again, i just hate not knowing if i will. that’s the worst part, finding queer platonic or romantic relationships is hard for me cause i’m grey-ro. i just wish it could be a little easier, allo people know they’ll feel it again, i just don’t and that’s the bad part. not knowing, idk if any other arospec ppl struggle with the aspect of not knowing if they’ll feel romantic attraction again or not or if that’s just me. i just needed to get it out there and maybe someone else does get it and this will help them feel less alone

Submitted July 9, 2023

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aroaceconfessions · 11 months

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Late 20s, experienced first and only crush, was not reciprocated, haven't seen him in months as he left usual social activities where we met, but still not really over him properly and possibly never will be (until I had another crush which may never happen)

Anyone else relate, other older greyromantics stories that have only had 1 crush, or validate that it's possible to never fully get over things like this?

Submitted May 27, 2023

#greyromantic #grayromantic #grey-romantic #gray-romantic #greyaromanitc #grayaromantic #gray-aromantic #grey-aromantic #greyaro #grayaro #grey-aro #gray-aro #aromantic #aro #arospec #aspec #crush #crushes

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aroaceconfessions · 11 months

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i’m grayromantic asexual, and i’m comfortable calling myself that (as well as aroace more broadly because my romantic attraction is so rare)

but sometimes i suddenly feel attracted to a fictional character and i feel like a fraud? idk it sounds dumb but it gets me worked up sometimes heh

Submitted May 28, 2023

#aromantic #aro #arospec #aspec #greyromantic #grayromantic #grey-romantic #gray-romantic #greyaromanitc #grayaromantic #gray-aromantic #grey-aromantic #greyaro #grayaro #grey-aro #gray-aro #impostor syndrome

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aroaceconfessions · 11 months

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If anyone else told me they’re lgbtq+ because they’re greyromantic but other than that they’re cishet, and then later they changed their mind and they’re completely allocishet, I wouldn’t fault them for it. Id totally support them experimenting with labels and figuring themself out and being wrong sometimes.

But when I think about how the only way I’m lgbtq+ is being greyromantic and that I might be wrong and was never Aro spec, I feel like a fraud.

Submitted May 17, 2023

#greyromantic #grayromantic #grey-romantic #gray-romantic #greyaromanitc #grayaromantic #gray-aromantic #grey-aromantic #greyaro #grayaro #grey-aro #gray-aro #aromantic #aro #arospec #aspec #internalized arophobia #internalized aphobia #impostor syndrome

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aroaceconfessions · 1 year

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i’m gray aro and demi ace.

every day since i started experiencing sustained rose attraction toward my partner i have to remind myself that i still belong in the aspec community despite my brain constantly telling me “see? look you’re normal now and always were inside! what are you doing here?”

Submitted March 28, 2023

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aroaceconfessions · 1 year

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i don't know how to say this

i not really believe me as part of the lgbtq+ comunity because i'm cishet, but this weeks i've been thinking about how my others collegues peers had have sex and affairs more than me and i don't know what romantic and sexual attraction is anymore. Maybe i'm grey aroace and that doesn't make... not really het??? this is more like a call for help to understand how to conclude i'm grey aroace or not lol

Submitted April 19, 2023

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aroaceconfessions · 1 year

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I am honestly kinda mad about the fact that so many people don't recognize there is a SPECTRUM on being aro... There are people I know who say "Being aro means having ZERO romantic attraction" and it's pissing me off... It's a spectrum and if people keep making it seem like it's not I will start crying. (Also side note coming up) There's also the stereotype of all aro people hating the idea or thought of romance, and that's just... wrong? Have they heard of being cupioromantic, lithromantic, aroflux, and SO MANY OTHER IDENTITYS UNDER THE ARO UMBRELLA?????? I am so sorry about this rant but istg this is making me so mad. ~💀🎃🔐

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aroaceconfessions · 10 months

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Content warning: sexual fantasy, human genitals,

I am gray romantic & gray sexual, and am very sex positive. I tend to use sexual content as a toxic coping mechanism, and don’t really understand the way Allo’s feel about that stuff. Like they are stuck with how they are feeling, for me in both romantic and sexual interest I can simply shut it down. I can think of 18+ rated stuff just fine, nothing really happens, but when I’ve told Allo people about that they get all shy and weird about it. I may be Aspec but I still think sex should not be a taboo subject.

I also absolutely hate the naked human body, even in undergarments it makes my skin crawl. I can deal with drawings and stuff with that in it, but just not the actual humans body grosses me out. I really don’t understand the appeal of a naked body, even if your in that mood I just don’t get it.

Submitted June 16, 2023

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aroaceconfessions · 11 months

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being romance indifferent and greyro is so funny because i’ll experience a random flutter of attraction and while i get what’s happening i can’t help but think “that’s it?” like there’s nothing more to it, it’s just this ~feeling~? i feel like based on all the other depictions of romantic attraction, there should be “more,” but for me it just never goes there, wherever that is. and that kinda makes me laugh idk why

Submitted May 14, 2023

#greyromantic #grayromantic #grey-romantic #gray-romantic #greyaromanitc #grayaromantic #gray-aromantic #grey-aromantic #greyaro #grayaro #grey-aro #gray-aro #aromantic #aro #arospec #aspec #romance indifferent

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aroaceconfessions · 1 year

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I’ve cycled through many labels, and I’ve settled on greyro asexual.

Something that bothered me, a lot, while passing through each label of the a-spectrum, is that too many people judge other people’s needs and orientations.

It’s not just an allo/aro/ace thing… it’s about being unable to put oneself in other’s shoes. It’s about a lack of compassion. It’s about a lack of respect.

It’s not funny if someone never wants to have children or have sex or have love. It’s not funny if they want or need any of that either.

It doesn’t make it okay to belittle or disrespect anyone for having needs or wants different from yours.

We’re all unique, we’re all brilliantly, fucking amazing.

I just don’t get the hype of tearing anyone down.

Submitted April 19, 2023

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aroaceconfessions · 11 months

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I run a rp blog of a canon character who is gorgeous, has a lot of the fandom horny for him, and (fanonically at least) is flirty. I play him as a flirty aroallo (usually demi or grayromantic and bi or pansexual)

It feels like every time I assert his aro identity on the blog, it turns into a discussion. The current anon at least seems to be supportive, but the last one was an arophobe and I just. Let him post a couple aro flags and support posts without making me defend his aro-ness and position on different kinds of love and what he feels, okay? Thanks. Jeez

Submitted May 27, 2023

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aroaceconfessions · 1 year

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Sometimes allos' way of thinking really scares me.

It happened at the family dinner when we were discussing what to do with the property we'd got as an inheritance. And my father's main argument for keeping that dilapidated house in the middle of nowhere was 'What if you'll fall in love so hard that you'll be manipulated by your partner to acquire our [my parents'] flat so we'll have nowhere to live in?'

To say that I was deeply hurt is an understatement. I love both of my parents and cherish this relations as they're the only living relatives I trust and really have connections with. They don't know I'm ace and grey-romantic but they've heard enough times that I'm not interested in that kind of things. But that time it was personal because they know how deeply I love them and that sometimes I'm even scarred of loosing them.

My mom was also offended by the dad's words, but later explained me that he had really messed up relations between his parents. But the very idea that even for one of the most reasonable people I know a concept of love includes loosing oncelf in this feeling to the point of betraying everybody really terrifies me. That for some people it's the only legitimate way of loving someone. That love is some sort of ugly, wicked and pure evil force... Sometimes allos and what they believe in really scares me.

Submitted February 10, 2023

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aroaceconfessions · 1 year

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I think I might have a crush, but I'm not sure. I can't tell if I'm feeling QPP feelings towards them, or romantic feelings towards them, but either way, I'm very confused.

I'm greyromantic and I haven't had a crush in about five years, so I'm not sure how it's supposed to feel. What I do know is that I want to be around this person a lot and hang out with them and speak to them often. I don't want to freak them out since we don't know each other very well yet, but I just want to be around them all the time.

I like their smile and their laugh and I think they're really beautiful and fun to be around. Is that what a crush is? I'm not sure. Sorry for the ramble, I just needed to get this out.

Submitted April 14, 2023

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