#guys the quality got absolutely fucked im sorry

[mossfeathers]

hello be more chill nation (2 people and a used tissue) (textless/transparent and original meme under cut)

#moss draws art #bmc #be more chill #boyf riends #jeremy heere #michael mell #bmc fanart #the squip #bmc musical #guys the quality got absolutely fucked im sorry #also this is my first time drawing any of these guys so my designs are very up in the air #i went overkill w the image descriptions i was bored

[kagender]

I wonder What is Keronian Cusine like? And would keronians as a whole like earth foods?

ohhh nonny keronian cuisine is definitely something i need to go into deep deep thoughts about! i would say its not as developed as id like it to be, id love to draw out specific dishes and stuff.

the complicated fun of the cuisine of space faring species us the fact that they almost definitely brought over, or took inspiration from the foods of other planets, if demeed edible for a keronian. like how in america several dishes from other countries got modified into more "americanized" forms, as we as humans all have different ways of preparing our food to out tastes, which can also vary from region to region... this opens up the world of dishes from other countries within keron itself as well LOL. i need to think about that too!

but im running my mouth off. in my interpretations keronian diets started off as primarily insect-based, with fruit/plants as the secondary component (i know that there arent actually any herbivorous frogs on our earth, but since these guys are aliens i do loove playing around with their biology haha :-)) and then meat being thrown in a bit later on. kerons love for insects still goes strong - you can find them candied/carmalized, fried or breaded for more of the crunch factor, spiced or sweetened, however you like, larvae toasted or boiled (you can get a glimpse of one in my girodoro pmv - its a little lightly sweet tasting guy usually eaten at campfires. gross marshmallows for us humans) limbs of particularly large insects being sold as snacks (one of keroros disappointments when coming to earth was finding out just how small the average insect is there. i have a doodle somewhere. pekopon has fallen...) and insides being grinded up to a nice cream and such. thats a tadpole food mainly, but i dont see why grown keronians cant eat it!

you can imagine that being combined with fruit (well. vegetables too. the two blend together in my head due to the nature of being a Thing From Plant That You Eat) a plenty, i think plenty of bugs are fed with them before being prepared (iirc thats a thing that we do, people give their feeder insects vegetables for a more nutritous meal for their pet later on... its called gut loading!), which reminds me that i imagine zeroro being fed the healthiest, top-quality and absolutely fully sanitized and parasite-free bugs as a kid. hes got a rich as fuck family they couldve hired a private farm for all i know. its funny to think about. but coming back to plant stuff, i imagine juices and teas would be a hit as well, there is a doodle i posted a while (...about a year) ago that shows a tea made from glowing leaves from another glowing plant post that i made. the ziv stuff goes deep im sorry. ya think it stains tongues like those ice pops they sold back in the day? makes you think....

fruit alone just opens up so much for the world of baking. i dont like fruit in my pastries, but i definitely respect the grind. we put that stuff in everything in so many forms its kinda wild. just imagine all the cutesy designs that could be made for them...

in the anime, they are very much shown to like and eat earth foods, in fact i dont think a lot of alien food shows up other than like, these weird food monsters, burei cola aka kid friendly alcohol, the keron figs from kero zero (love them...) and the yumyum bars from a chibi kero episode that are like, just chocolate bars i believe? i could throw in some funny quirk to them myself i think....

i do recall them eating foods that are oretty much 1:1 to earths in chibikero? the lame side us that no one on the staff really thought about designing any cool space stuff for them to eat, but the cool side is that it can imply some importing from earth. ya think thete are some sellers who just casually work with aliens or is it a weird process of an alien disguising as human -> getting the foods -> getting them to their planet? i like to lean more towards the former since the earth in keroro gunso just really seems to have a bunch of weird connections to aliens outside of the main cast. most of them are from the past (the pyramids where sababa rests, all the kiruru ruins, the unknown human and keronian from the saburo and kururu episode where they fight the sound guy, and i think the kappa the ghost girl knew is implied to be a keronian... but i havent really watched those episodes) but i definitely dont doubt that they still have connections in the modern times. its a lot of fun to think about when it comes to interplanetary trade.

i always had just a biiit of beef with how keronians just settle in with earth foods and other things so casually, i really wish they were a bit more like irkens where plenty things that are ordinary to use pose harm to them. but also kg doesnt have the same gross aspect as iz does so i can understand why they didnt do that. no keroro getting horrid burns from baloney for me....

but oh my god i ran my mouth off. tdlr; i need to draw more frog food, which is mostly bugs, also yes they eat earth stuff and earth import sounds cool

#keroroposting #the keron and earth connections make me go craaaazy #im still ironing it out but i dedinitely think keron had more control over earth in the past #and the current invasion is them trying to regain it back #keron time

[duckymcdoorknob]

Hi so instead of doing my college homework and being a responsible student, I’m gonna throw my brainrot at y’all.

Here’s everyone’s favorite male-wife 🥰

Also I sorry if I got the Geography wrong, I don’t have Inazuma unlocked yet 😭

@tohrusoftie @justanunknown @tea-twords COME FORTH MY LOVELIES

No cw below the cut!

𝑇ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑎 𝐴𝑠 𝐴 𝐵𝑜𝑦𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑:

First and foremost, this man is literally so fucking in love with you.

The two of you had met in Inazuma City. You were perusing the stands for anything that would catch your eye, and he was there to grab the week’s groceries.

Suddenly, a vibrant fruit stand caught your eye. With a smile, you quickly made your way towards it. As you prepared to greet the shop owner, a child ran between your legs, causing you to lose your balance.

(IM SORRY FOR THE CLICHE BUT-) Before you could fall, a hand wrapped around your waist, and another held onto your shoulder. Amidst the bustle, your mind fixated on one voice. It was gentle, full of concern and seriosity.

Once you had reassured your safety to him, the two of you traveled around together. It wasn’t long before you exchanged phone numbers (just pretend).

Overtime, the housekeeper couldn’t help but fall in love with you more and more.

He has a special ringtone set for you, that way he knows whenever you call. Everyone else has a common ringtone, except for Ayato and Ayaka.

Speaking of the Kamisatos, they totally bullied him about his big fat crush on you. Ayato would catch him looking at his phone, then sighing in the most lovesick way.

Ayaka once caught him staring out of the window, leaning on his broom as he watched you in the city. The second she called his name, he tensed up and fell onto his bottom. Was the blush that dusted his cheeks from embarrassment or infatuation?

Eventually, the darling guy mustered up the courage to ask you to be his partner. It was such a sweet gesture that you had to say yes immediately.

As a boyfriend, Thoma is probably the poster child for perfection.

He knows everything about you, down to your blood type. He has all of your favorite things saved into a notepad on his phone, some of those things you never told him, he just took notice.

Thoma is such a gentleman. He holds every door for you, and does not hesitate to lend you his jacket when you’re cold. So what if he’s extra chilly? At least his sweetheart is warm.

He often surprises you with flowers, and always brings you to his favorite Cherry Blossom tree when it’s in bloom. He claims that “cherry blossoms change your fate.” And that “we met while the blossoms were in bloom, and my fate changed for the better.”

He keeps every photo that you send to him saved into respective folders. Selfies, memes, sunsets, pet photos, etc. Each type has its own folder.

Fun fact about sending him selfies: if you look “extra cute”, which he always claims you do, he will cease whatever he’s doing to hide his face in his hands and quietly scream.

He loves to go on dates. Visiting the markets, having picnics, or simply just waking around the city and taking in the cherry blossoms.

This man gives me “I will give you all love languages regardless.” Kinda vibes. Like, he’ll surprise you with a stuffed animal, or a treat from the market, he’ll shower you in kisses and sweet words, he’ll literally sinki into his seat to spend time with you.

I like to think that he can play the piano, so he just sits on the bench and plays the softest melodies while you rest on his shoulder.

I think Thoma is a quality time and physical touch kinda guy. He seems like he will absolutely melt if you play with his hair or kiss his knuckles. ALSO he will just lose it if you hold his head in your lap while he naps.

Be prepared for lots of kisses!! He loves to give kisses to you literally everywhere, but his favorite places are the tip of your nose, the back of your hand, and your lips of course.

He’ll never say it, but if you repeatedly kiss the back of his neck, it helps him relax and fall asleep.

Don’t be afraid to tell him your woes and troubles. Thoma will wake up at any time of night to console any ailments that you might have. He’s quick to hold you close to his heart, planting chaste kisses on your forehead, and brewing you a cup of tea.

If you’re sick, oh Buddy…

He will sacrifice his health so that he can lay with you. He almost always gets sick, and has to wear a mask to work the next day, but it’s always worth it.

I can go on forever and ever, but I’m falling asleep writing these, so feel free to infodump in my asks for any continuation of these. 🥰

#Genshin #Genshin impact #Genshin x reader #Genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #thoma #thoma x reader #thoma x y/n #thoma x you #thoma imagines #Genshin thoma #Genshin impact thoma #genshin thoma x reader #Genshin thoma imagines

[thecultofmalcom]

So. Its out. This is obviously pretty awesome sauce (sorry not sorry jas) and like.

wow.

so it started, middle/late 2011, almost 12 years ago. Some silly little university kids making a stupid horror puppet show. Becky Sloan and Joseph Pelling, creating Dont Hug Me Im Scared. What a way to start of the 2010s huh.

After a series of short videos, created for the Kickstarter, the sequel was created. Tony The Talking Clock was he spectacle of 2014 tumblr, eventually winning the most coveted title a fictional outcast could probably get, ‘Tumblr Sexyman.’ The fandom at this time was WILD, with the whole IceHell genre and the ‘Paige x Tony’ fanatics. Not to mention that kids react video.

At this same year, my personal skrunkle scrimblo came around. The Love Cult was introduced by the ringleader Shrignold, worshipping a stone who they fed gravel. Nobody knows why or how the living FUCK they managed to start a cult like this, but here we go. This was the first time the gang was seen outside, and this circled around Yellow Guy (whos a pig??)

Along comes 2015, introducing the absolute LEGEND, COLIN. THE. COMPUTER. Legend in the making, stupid self absorbed fucktwat, and the computery guy!! Also, the outro was a bop. By now, the DHMIS community had grown a fanbase, the watch count of the series so far over 3 Million!!1!

AND NOW. THIS IS WHEN SHIT GETS REAL!!

dhmis five. the talking point of every internet kids trauma. This episode was about being helfy!,2 Joined by the silly goofy Healthy Band, duck guy and yellow (red guy, whered he go?) learned all about why you shouldnt eat food from a strangers plate!! What made DHMIS special was its unsettling gore, which was shown perfectly in the scene where duck gets his. organs took out! graphically! Awesome!

then the finale came. dhmis 6, 2016, 6. years ago now. 6 whole years. introducing the harsh reality of the real world, the absoloute CHAD which we call Larry, Lars, Larson, Lamp Guy, THE LAMP1!11 Teaching (drunk, on drugs, sleep deprived, who knows?) yellow guy all about the wonderful dreams you can have, including eating a drink, buying a hat, losing your friends and drowning in oil of course! This episode was what made this whole puppet show a real nightmare. skrunkle yellow guy gets (unfortunately) mind-tortured by all the teachers, including the saxaphone. still really wanna know how to buy a canoe. At the end, we finally found out who was the brains behind all of this, none other than yellow guys DAD himself, ROY. This is why, perhaps, this whole fever dream nightmare was based around June 19th Fathers day. This is what, we all though, the end was. 5 years of youtube wonder, Becky Joe and Baker created a phenomenon that shocked the internet in perhaps a million different ways. But the positive feedback was overwhelming, woohoo!

By now, the improvement was MASSIVE. as shown below :

And now. This is when we all thought it was over. Until 2 years later, in 2018, all hope was lost. Until those 2 words,

WAKEY WAKEY!!

this was a 30 second short trailer for the DHMIS Pilot, showing at the 2019 Sundance film festival!

This is where it gets a bit weird, because not only is the original Wakey Wakey deleted, the full thing was never shown anywhere else. the only surviving footage of this was the bad quality pirated videos , with those 2 girls laughing thunderously in the background. A new sexyman, MEAN STEVE (🤤, sorry not sorry) WAS INTRODUCED! WE ALL WANNA SEE HIM IN HIS FULL METAL STICK GLORY! But nah we didnt get that. We didnt get a show, which we all because suspicious of.

well. thats what we thought.

2020. the year of the corona. no hope, isolation. until a lovely woman named Becky Sloan posted a lil thing on her instagram. ‘Were making a tv shooowwww! 📺👀📺👀📺👀📺👀’ AND THIS IS WHERE IT GOT WILDER AWESOMER EPICER!!! WE WAITED AND WE WAITED AND WE FINALLY GOT SOME CONFIRMATION! THIS WAS AWESOME! it got picked up by a charity project by the name of BFI YAC,, hoping to pick up on small industries work! AND IT DID!

time went by, still no show. we all thought it was over, cancelled, whatever.

2021 ROLLS PAST.

FILMING WAS WRAPPED! IN THE TIME WE WERE ALL GRIEVING AT THE THOUGHTS OF NO TV SHOW, THEY WERE WORKING ON IT THE WHOLE TIMEEE!!

‘WAKEY WAKEY’ as the fandom called it at the time, was coming!

now we wait. until FEB 25 2022. They finished the final sound recording. It was all done, we were all waiting for that special day, June 19th

, Fathers day. , 3 months ago.

and what did we get?

FLY.

THE TRAILER FOR THE NEW SHOW, PREMIERING CHANNEL 4 IN SEPTEMBER!! OH !EM GEE!

Now, we were all anticipating for the new series, we waited EXTREMELY PATIENTLY for this, 4-5 years no less. Honestly we shoulda won an award for the most patient fandom at this point.

SEPTEMBER 2022!

WE GOTTA GET THINGS READY FOR THS BIG DAY! BIG DAY! THE TRAILER WAS OUT! COMING SEPTEMBER 13TH!

but then, disaster struck! ohh no!

HRH Queen Elizabeth fell ill and kicked the bucket. Obviously , this meant not only is the country in ruins now lol! (fuck liz truss basically) But the show (we thought) was in jeopardy! (not really) The 10 days of mourning began, and the All 4 Website announced that the show would be slightly delayed, but coming this month.

THIS MONTH! NOW! FRIDAY 23RD, 2022. THE BIG DAY HAS ARRIVED! 6 SHINING BRAND NEW EPISODES, PREPARED FOR THE BIG TV DEBUT FRIDAY 30TH SEPTEMBER!

THE IMPROVEMENT, BY NOW WAS STUNNING AWESOME EPIC!! LOOKLOOKLOOK!

this new series, which is 1 day old!! fresh new awesome! is AMAZING! 3 WHOLE HOURS FULL OF OUR FAVE TRAFFIC LIGHT TRIO!

(Yes. we know, you still find red guy sexy.)

(AND COLIN. AND THE LAMP. AND A BIT OF TONY TOO!)

JUST THREE OF THEM! CLAYHILL HAD, UNFORTUNATELY, SHRIVELLED UP OR SOMETHING! (I RECKON)

this was obviously a sign that Wakey Wakey is now Lost Media. But we got this! all thanks to that one silly dumb stupid epic 3 minute long short on youtube, made by 2 people, in their free time, DONT HUG ME IM SCARED!

This post is basically, appreciation for Becky Joe and Baker, and the fandom, and everyone who helped in the making of this phenomenon!

Along the way, we’ve encountered our askblogs, most notably @sketchbook-and-tony-adventures !! And the awesome, probably most noted artists of DHMIS tumblr, the epic awesome amazing @amii-stuff @frootrollup? whats the username again? @hecklefreckled & @bernold ! Obviously more as well but i honestly dont remember the usernames :/ And our epic news sharer @creative-time !! Thanks you guys! And some awesome others, like @creechurfoundincheckerboardvoid @dhmispaint and the bezzie mate @xzumichannn !! Woohoo! Thank you guys so much, without this crazy massive fandom, we probably wouldnt have even got this far, crazy right!

So far, the best moments of this 2011-2022 era for me have been

- ‘Where are all you nasty clockfuckers! did you finally fuck that clock?’

- Sketch has a small face

- LisWeegee Adventures In Lurning dubs

- Whoever the heck that spanish dhmis gacha person is!

- That one ‘No bitches’ meme with shrignold :

- My amazing askblog i could never be bothered to do!

- Whoever that tiktok guy is

- “FREELANCERS DESERVE TO DIE!”

- Money Man. Deserves to be a sexyman fr!

- “BYE GUYS! I LOVE YOU!”

- Hearing the first few seconds of the first episode intro. those bells man. something, a feeling im never gonna feel again. ever. something i could experience only once.

The only bad thing. LAMPS SOBERED UP?? WHERED THE DRUGGIE INSOMNIAC VOICE GO?

Anyways. I love yall your all awesome, were finally trending on tumblr again, and we all have worms in our brain!

What have we got to look forward to now?

- DELTARUNE NEW CHAPTERS, 2023? The finale will probably be ready for 2027…

thats literally it. sorry. Hazbin Hotels coming to tv? i guess? lol.

this is obviously a national highlight of 2022 🥱 well no. Its internationally an internet milestone. duh!

LONG LIVE DHMIS!!

#dhmis #dont hug me im scared #bigday #dhmis wakey wakey #wakey wakey #2022 highlights #red guy #duck guy #yellow guy #traffic light trio #becky sloan #joseph pelling #baker terry #thecultofmalcom

[heartscrypt]

Jamie, don't worry. Just like you, I've been thinking about JamiAzu and I, too, have not been able to create any content.

The best thing to do is to chew them in your head until something manifests on your canvas or paper. Alternatively, you can use this ask as an opportunity to talk about them. (I would love to hear your scenarios and headcanons because you understand them like I do.)

oh my god ok OKAY so. i had this fic idea rolling around in my head and the premise was basically like. the aftermath of twst events that didn't feature jamil or azul really heavily / only had small cameos but it was just jamil n azul reflecting (and maybe bonding) afterwards.

this whole thing was inspired by azul getting rejected by eliza in the phantom bride event LOL bc i thought jamil would get a kick out of it. i wanted to cover more events like wish upon a star (which i might talk about in a later post) or harveston or port fest but the phantom bride part i have like. Fully mapped out.

i only have this excerpt because. i lost motivation but if anyone wants to take this fic concept and do it justice they can :3 id just like to be tagged and credited

full outline is under the read more because God it is long. sorry. its also kind of incomprehensible because im incomprehensible about these two

but the ficlet for the first event, phantom bride, was going to take place a few hours after where the event canonically ends. jamil finds out azul got sooo rejected and laughs at him under his breath for a bit. says its because eliza could sense that he was fake as fuck all the time. azul gets frustrated and flustered bc the guy he wants so bad is currently mocking him for having NOOOO game. he's like "yeah well. you didn't participate b/c of kalim so you don't know what impossible standards she had"

jamils still used to deflecting when it comes to his competence so he'd dismissively say that of course he wouldn't have been a suitable candidate to woo the ghost even if kalim was guaranteed to not be involved. he's not that kind of guy. azul's Jamil Bullshit radar is ACTIVATED. he immediately insists that jamil absolutely Could've swayed eliza into wearing the ring and starts praising all of jamil's qualities with such a Genuine belief in jamil's abilities until jamil is the flustered one trying to beat azul's compliments off of him with a stick.

this part is really funny to me because in my head there's a scene before where jamil is telling azul that his approach failed because he always came off as disingenuous. and then here in this scene azul's so genuine that jamil's taken aback and in his head he's like "if he approached eliza the way he's approaching me NOW there's no way he would've failed." and then he promptly refuses to think about the implications of that thought for the rest of the fic. lol

anyways through the power of lovebombing and a few appeals to jamil's competitive side, azul goads jamil into demonstrating how he would've approached eliza to get the ghost sealing ring on her finger. jamil's pretending to be a suitor. one of jamil's rings (he's a jewelry guy no way he doesn't have a few rings) plays the role of the ghost sealing ring. and of course azul is the Substitute Eliza in their little pretend scenario so we get. these two indirectly flirting with each other in the weirdest fucking way possible. roleplay.

also there's a funny bit of azul mimicking something eliza actually did mid-scenario and jamil breaking out of character to be like "No Way ok Time out no way you aren't fucking with me right now" and azul responding like "no she really did say that" and jamil getting the most longsuffering expression on his face before slipping back into his princely character.

azul enjoys being the one "chased" by jamil for a change but he's always cognizant of the facade jamil's wearing while playing the role of eliza's prince. knows that that's just as much Not the true jamil as the "dutiful servant" jamil was, and is in return so totally lovestruck by how GOOD jamil is at being manipulative. not even swooned by the princely way jamils acting. he's falling head over heels for the fact that he KNOWS jamil is acting and in reality could not care less and yet is able to pull off such a convincing display. because azul's fucking crazy and his taste in men actually sucks so bad he sees all the red flags in jamil as fun little collectibles. he's mentally like "its so frustratingly attractive when he says something with that little smirk smile and we both know he's lying straight to my face but i cant call him out on it." GIRL. YOU ARE SO FAILCRINGE

on jamils end of things. yes he is pretending to be a "prince" for "eliza" but he's also hyperaware that this is azul pretending to be eliza for the sake of the scenario so. he gets a little sneaky. a little underhanded. starts doing and saying things that are targeted to catch Specifically azul off guard so azul gets flustered and breaks character for a split second. this is solely to fuck with azul and has Noooo other reason behind it (nevermind the fact that there is a giddy feeling jamil gets when he's able to crack the facade azul wears to see the real, vulnerable azul hiding underneath).

they go back and forth for a while, jamil pushing forward relentlessly while azul pulls away but always stays close (a complete reversal of their usual dynamic). but then jamil says something that's so completely him and definitely not part of the facade and azul forgets himself for a moment, forgets that they're playing pretend. lets his guard down completely. from jamils perspective, this startles him a little because he wasn't expecting it and he certainly wasn't expecting for azul to seem so convincingly enamored by him (it's because azul actually is but like jamil's kind of operating under the assumption that azul is incredibly fake all the time) and he REALLY doesn't know what to do with the realization that he likes the way azul is looking at him right now a lot more than he probably should like attention coming from someone he supposedly hates.

so he panics internally, shoves the ring onto azul's finger while azul is distracted, and tells him he can stop acting now because jamil proved his point that he Could've gotten the ring on eliza. azul snaps out of it and is like "ah. Yes. Acting. I'm so good at it Wouldn't you agree jamil" (hes pretending his inner monologue rn doesn't mainly consist of distressed dramatic bitch wailing and screaming. hes embarrassed abt being so vulnerable when they're both supposed to be acting he wants to crawl into an octopus pot and never come out). jamil's reply is smth like "yeah yeah whatever of course you're used to acting b/c you're a fraud" (his inner monologue also sounds like distressed screaming btw. less dramatic and more Full of dread and horror). moment of awkward silence where they just aren't looking at each other but azul's hand is still in jamil's (since jamil had to take his hand to put the ring on). worst handholding experience ever. 0/10

jamil breaks the silence. "i prefer it when you're not acting". on the surface its just a casual dig at azul's role at eliza but like THE WAY he says it. means something more. azul picks up on that, thinks back to all the times during the scene where jamil got him to break character for a second, the smug satisfaction on his face when azul sputtered or faltered. his first conclusion is "he wants me so bad" because he's delusional but then he reels it back a little and only says "i prefer your true self as well." jamil knows what THAT means well enough. he's starting to get suspicions that their dynamic isn't just "guy who is trying to exploit someone he sees as an opportunity x guy who fucking hates him because the other guy is a slimeball". he isn't sold on azul's intentions being all that pure though. he needs to bide his time, hang back and see whether this moment was a fluke.

they r still holding hands btw. neither of them has pulled away yet. jamil's the first to look down and Acknowledge it, silently swiping his thumb over the ring on azul's finger. drops the other's hand. says very nonchalantly that azul is going to keep the ring. azuls like "? haha i couldn't Possibly keep this. it's your ring". jamil smirks. says "keep it as a consolation prize. and a reminder of how badly you embarrassed yourself today". looks up through his eyelashes to watch for a reaction. azuls head nearly explodes. jamil knows in his gut that once azul recovers he's going to be Fucking Insufferable for the next few weeks flaunting that ring around everywhere and playing up the bond between himself and jamil but as he leaves, he can't find himself caring all that much about that as long as the other Does wear the ring.

#twst #jamiazu #jamie talks #txt post #the public forum #heartsprocess #oh my god sorry this is just like. Paragraphs of delusion #my bad guys. im crazy #rocking back and forth Never let me write fic #WHO LET THEM COOK 🔥🔥🔥 GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN #also immediately after drafting this i did realize azul wears gloves. my bad #ring over glove is not a good look #(jamil) allowing the guy i '“hate'' to regularly hang around me and enduring his conversation for reasons the haters will never understand #their flirting is like Actually psychological warfare #its so funny CAN YOU TWO BE NORMAL #NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE A MIND GAME

[mroddmod]

HEY i'm here to do that stupid sappy thing where i make a new years post and thank everyone for the great year.

i already said this on twt but i can genuinely say that i have never had this much fun in a fandom before. i've never CLICKED with a fandom and its participants in the way that i've clicked with the stranger things fandom. i've made more finished art than i have for any other franchise, i think. i've never gotten to connect with people and make friends in a fandom like i have with the stranger things fandom. THE FRIENDS IVE MADE ARE SOME OF THE BEST IVE HAD IN LIKE. EVER. you guys are seriously so awesome. NOT TO MENTION ALL THE INCREDIBLE PEOPLE THAT I ALWAYS SEE IN MY REBLOG TAGS AND REPLIES. i've had the privilege to get to meet, know, and interact, with some of the nicest and most talented people ever. it's been such a good year BECAUSE of the connections i've made. SOOOOO i'm gonna list off some of my favorite people and say a little something and TRY to keep it short. OBVIOUSLY THIS IS IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

@astrobei : yeah, obviously you're in here, idiot. you wormed your way into my life way too quickly and WAYYYY too easily but i wouldn't change it (probably. just kidding. or Am I.....). i was a MEGA fan of your writing LOOOONG before i ever even spoke to you, so it's kind of a trip that i talk to you every day now. if you told mod from september that he'd be this tight w suni astrobi he absolutely would not believe you. anyway thank you for making me laugh so much and talking to me all the time even though you should probably be doing better things. keep being you. k love u (maybe) bye

@msquared1414 : MAGS. MY DEAR MAGS. I LOVE YOU SO DEARLY. you are a beacon of light in a fucked up and annoying world. i know i can always count on you for support and a good laugh. im so glad i got to know you over the time that we've been talking. i promise i have more special wips to send u soon. I MISS YOU ALL THE TIME BFF

@cherbearsz : CHER 😭😭😭 do you realize that you're actually one of the funniest people on the planet. did you Know. actually i take it back, you're the funniest. i could be having a shit day and suddenly cher gets in the chat and stirs up chaos and i am feeling like :) again. ty for being you, bro 🤝

@livsmessydoodles : we've known each other for a long time but i feel like i didn't really GET to know you until this year. but i'm so glad i did!! you are such a lively and positive energy that i love to see on my dash, in my notifs, in our group chats, anywhere. you are TRULY a unifying and joyful force. keep up your good energy, so many good things will come to you in life.

@halosketches : sorry but who gave you the right to be this cool. like i wanna know. YOU'RE ACTUALLY THE COOLEST PERSON IVE MET.... i know this is like a cringe thing to say but your vibes are Unmatched. i know i can always trust your takes because your taste in media is the Highest of quality. you're also way too nice. you're insane.

@wynsvre : sarah :((( my bro. my guy. you are an INSPIRATION to me and you always will be in so many ways. you are so real and honest and i value that in you so much. honestly you're just such a rad person. i aspire to be more like u.

@janceezer : KITE!!!!! i actually cannot believe how sappy and sweet you are it's CRAZY that you're just that way. YOURE JUST THAT GOOD. it pleasantly surprises me all the time. you are so down to earth and you care about people with everything you have, and i feel SO lucky to be one of those people. KEEP BEING YOU!!!

@tryingonametaphor : AH BHAVNA you have been an absolute pleasure to get to know this year. i was ALSO a huge fan of yours before i got to know you personally, but i was BLOWN away by how kind you are 😭 you are just so understanding and patient and RIDICULOUSLY creative. you're so cool, it's crazy.

@spacedru1d : MY BFF!!!!! my matching bff. you've been such a good friend and a delight to interact with. you're naturally such a good person without even trying. IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH DURING YOUR TIME IN UNI but i'm proud of you for getting your shit done and finally getting the gf of ur dreams. I WISH YOU NOTHING BUT THE BEST BFF!!!

okay now that i've gotten all my Real Actual IRL Bestest Friends in the Entire World out of the way....

some other people that i've loved interacting with/seeing in my notifs/seeing on my dash:

@bujomoss, @http-byler, @smoosnoom, @bookinit02, @nnilkyway, @elekinetic, @wiseatom, @andiwriteordie, @paladibun, @noodles-and-tea, @aemiron-main, @caesarexile, and many more im CERTAIN i'm forgetting.

anyway. thanks for an incredible year. HERES TO 2023!!!

#and we're officially one year away from st5 #LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO #big win #sorry this is so long #yk i had to do it to em (express my love for my favorite people) #anyway. yeah thanks for being who u are and letting me get to know you #HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!! #mods talks shit

[apopcornkernel]

poppy's watched cdramas

與君歌 stand by me/dream of chang'an

i... did not finish this drama 😭 i only watched this because my mom was watching it and we were stuck in quarantine together, so. it was fun i guess but ultimately mid

蒼蘭決 love between fairy and devil

loved it, the ending was a little too abrupt for me but it still ended well! lived for the villain romance, had so much fun booing changheng (sorry), had even more fun staring at dylan wang's cheekbones. also i love how ride or die the main couple is for each other, it's absolutely not one-sided in that regard which <3 yes. and also episodes 30(?) to 36 i cried nonstop it was so cathartic. episode 35 specifically....... aha

琉璃 love and redemption

STUPIDLY long and rather cringe at times im not even gonna lie but the main characters had me by the THROAT i could not stop watching. yu sifeng is so so so unfairly pretty with bangs and chu xuanji in god of war mode,,,, i lvoe her sm. i loved how the gender roles of a typical cdrama relationship was more or less flipped, with sifeng always being the damsel in distress (not even joking or exaggerating about this one) and xuanji being the badass hero. i feel like a lot of cdramas tend to say their female mc is the hero and stuff but then in execution its ALWAYS the male lead saving the mc from danger and its just,,, idk i'm a little tired of it so i like that chu xuanji exists <3 and fuck haochen

傳聞中的陳芊芊 the romance of tiger and rose

REALLY REALLY GOOD one of the most perfect dramas ive ever watched. cinematography really high quality, an mc that i never got annoyed at and is so lovable, a petty murder cat love interest who is unfairly handsome at every angle. i was smiling and giggling with every episode. it's the true definition of a happy pill. i only wish Those 2 Specific Scenes did not exist

星落凝成糖 the starry love

i did not finish this 😭 i onyl watched it because it was the only thing i had downloaded on my phone. i don't recommend it tbh, sorry, the concept was interesting but the execution didn't do it for me. it was also really obvious how low budget it was and the acting & writing didn't really make up for it enough so,,,

今夕何夕 twisted fate of love

THIS IS THE BEST CDRAMA IVE EVER WATCHED I KNOW IM BEING SUBJECTIVE BUT LET ME BE SUBJECTIVE THIS IS MY BLOG okay okay so general travels back eight years to stop a great war but unfortunately she lands smack dab into feng xi's residence, who is an ally of the Bad Guy and very morally grey politician who will not hesitate to kill people for his goals. she keeps trying to assassinate feng xi's ally (the Bad Guy) meanwhile feng xi is just trying to put a ring on it. they are SO so funny and you KNOW i love villain(ish) romance so i ADORED this cdrama even though it was objectively mid and even though the last episode was trash. I DONT CARE i will defend this one with my life JUST WATCH IT im very incoherent ik but in my defense it's kinda hard to explain just trust me

星漢燦爛 love like the galaxy

currently watching!! it has zhao lusi who i trust with any drama, and the cinematography is great! some of ling buyi's dialogue i dont like but im still on board the main ship,,, i think i wouldve liked lou yao but i keep remembering he's daole from twisted fate of love and it jars me so bad.... also i have this thing where i automatically boo the second/third leads so really lou yao had no chance im sorry 😔 i find it really funny how obviously down bad ling buyi is update: i dropped this drama :(( i got all the way to episode 20 something and then i just couldn't be bothered to continue, i was honestly bored :((((

雲之羽 my journey to you

my sister rec'd this drama to me and oh man i tried. i was so ready to be hooked. but i just couldn't. like, it had gorgeous cinematography and beautiful costuming and i was happily surprised to realize the leads were clj's changheng and xiaolanhua, but omfg gong ziyu (changheng) pisses me off so bad he's like omg guys im an underdog they all hate me im struggling so bad i'm being oppressed etc etc AND THEN HE'S BEING OPPRESSED FOR BEING A RICH BABAERO NA PALAGING NAGBABAR LIKE BE SO FOR REALLL also shangguan qian and gong yuanzhi's scenes are infinitely more interesting than anyone else's, their one battle of wits already had me more interested than the entirety of the previous 5 episodes... and then when it switches back to include shangjue or gong ziyu or yun weishan i immediately feel all my energy get sapped. like they're so boring it hurts fgksjhg and the way yun weishan and gong ziyu speak don't help at all it's like 有時候……我也……睡不着…… DO NOT WASTE MY TIME LIKE THIS AND ALSO PLEASE SPEAK NORMALLY so yeah i got fed up by episode 6 and dropped it despite my sister's urging

天盛長歌 the rise of phoenixes

started watching this right after i dropped my journey to you BECAUSE FUCK YOU i swear that cdrama made me see cdramas as a chore again. anyways im loving it. ning yi looked so miserable in the first episode which is a great portend for things to come, and feng zhiwei is great i love her already and the cinematography is not bad as well, i'm just worried i'll get lost on the machinations and everything but i'm still having fun so far anyways hehe update from episode 19 or something!! i'm really enjoying it this is so good!!!! a little slower paced so if that's not your thing be warned but i am really liking it hehe

#poppy speaks #cdrama

[weebsinstash]

Anyways so I found a werewolf audio book that's so bad I had to share it with you guys which is a shame because the young female narrator actually does a competent job

So our victim today is Back and Better by NighttShadee and, in the beginning, I had high hopes. It sounded like this was a revenge/glow-up story, and the opening was compelling enough. (tw for nonconsensual acts like forced kissing and like forced marking, suicide, bullying, etc)

This is a really long post, I'm mostly just describing the story and cringing and bitching lol. And when I say long like I basically go into the events that happen over 14 chapters lmao 💀 this shit got me MAAAAAD (plus an actually good recommendation at the very end for a story I actually really liked and found surprisingly high quality for the platform c:)

Amira Warner is 15 (already i am super uncomfortable with the protag being this young), being bullied by her pack and schoolmates, including the pack's alpha's son, Erebus (and you always know some bullshit will happen when they have these dumbass names). They all just call her stupid and weak and fat and a slut and just straight up a cunt, didnt expect to get audibly slapped with the c word on a youtube ad trailer but whatever, and her brother is also one of the bullies, but her parents never do anything because they're literally never home because they travel for work or take constant vacations, idk, but Amira also uhhh makes no effort to tell them what's going on. She blames them for not being around to support her which is valid but she also literally quite literally never even tells them anything whatsoever, that she's being bullied OR that her brother is involved

Like literally, she introduces herself narratively as "my name is Amira Warner, im 15, turning 16 tomorrow, im the bitch of the red river pack, I am beaten and verbally abused every single day". And of course Erebus is her main bully and it is specifically said he is the MAIN ONE WHO BEATS HER

So anyways Amira attempts suicide, and while she's bleeding out, she's discovered by three young boys who are her same age, and they basically give her emergency medical care, and adopt her into their pack since one of them is the future alpha of their pack and he can just do that (lucky her). And there's 3 of them, brothers, but only one of them matters: the future Alpha, Damon. So they're gonna adopt her into their pack right, but before that Amira is gonna head home, grab some of her things, leave a note for her parents, and then leave in the morning on her 16th birthday which is also the day she's supposed to awaken as a wolf, but also, she prays to the moon goddess that, if her mate is in this pack, the pack that abused her, thay she won't feel the pull of the mate bond, and can find a second chance mate elsewhere

Moon Goddess said bet IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE but we get to that later and also yeah she meets the moon goddess, just straight up converses with God multiple times, it's kind of stupid and I actually genuinely hate the moon goddess as a character. The moon goddess makes her promise she's never going to hurt herself again but then knowingly gives her a toxic mate?

So anyways it's her birthday and on top of awakening as a wolf, today is also the day she's supposed to find her mate and 🙄 of course it's Erebus. He waltzes straight up to her after smelling her scent, all "mine" but luckily, Moon Goddess is a G and Amira feels nothing from the mate bond. Absolutely nothing. So she tells him to go fuck himself straight to his face while he's bewildered she's not absolutely tripping over him like he feels for her, and she even outright tells him he is one of the biggest reasons she tried to commit suicide the day before. And after years of bullying her and telling her shit like her only purpose is to be weak and abused, suddenly this bitch is crying actual tears, "Amira no, please, no no no I'm so sorry I love you 🥺" like fucking Bakugo over here giving less than shit when it's too late like actually kys bro

She literally laughs in his fucking face when he's visibly upset she says she doesn't want to be his mate. Queen. She literally says "that sucks alpha, that is really unfortunate" and drives away from him lmaooooo (also who wrote this, we don't let 15 year olds drive??? Yeah this is technically on her 16th birthday but she wouldn't have a license, maybe a learners permit, and that still requires an adult present)

So she leaves and meets the three boys again and they adopt Amira into their pack but also their family and for the next about two years she's literally raised as their sibling, remember, they're all 15/16, right. So anyways after she's rescued, it turns out, oh boy she's a super extra duper special WHITE WOLF who is super extra strong and pretty and also fucking Aang for some reason? She deadass has elements and weather control and it's written in a very cheesy uh Wattpadesque way and also despite being a victim of bullying she kind of lowkey instantly becomes a bitch upon finding out she's a white wolf, and I don't mean "getting back at those who doubted me" I mean like "since she's one of the strongest wolves it's her job to train other wolves from her new pack and she constantly verbally berates them and calls them ladies and little girls and basically acts like a pick me the second she holds the smallest crumb of authority, talking down to grown men just because she's physically stronger than them" like its very jarring to go from her attempting suicide to, chapter 3 is an 18 month time skip where she's immediately treating other people who don't even really know her in a similarly bully-like way (btw the 18 month time skip meaning she is now 17 1/2 which is important because I think she may actually still be a minor when creepy stuff happens later...)

Anyways, theres been a lot of packs being attacked by rogues which in my opinion are the lucky ones because they're the ones who aren't in packs but it's framed as them being outcasts and criminals but when you consider how dangerously close pack dynamics veer into outright cult behavior like, it makes you rethink things. So Amira is told "since our pack is the biggest and strongest, we're sending people out to help train up the other weaker packs" and just guess where her new adoptive Alpha father is knowingly and intentionally sending her back :) and when she rightfully brings up "hey uh you're literally sending me back to the people who made me try to kill myself not even like 2 years after it happened" and he's just like "I know I'm sorry sweetie it's a real cowabummer :( but ya gotta cause, for the greater good or something, I dunno, do what I say lol, you wont be gone long" and there's a line about how she respects his rank as her alpha enough to obey him even though she doesn't want to do this and I really gotta say, it bothers me how everyone tells her it's valid she's upset but still expects her to go. They even later acknowledge, well, maybe we SHOULD HAVE just sent an Alpha from another pack instead, since this place holds trauma for you, and it's like YEAH SHE'S FUCKING 17, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE

Just. Grr! This girl is SURROUNDED by toxicity and it only gets worse

So Amira and her brothers Damon, Jason, and Derek all go back to her old pack, and it helps since they very close sibling relationship, they all have physical play fights and wrestling that is very sibling-like but it does get kind of cheesy and stupid sometimes. Like chasing her down to tickle her because she ate all the brownies she baked herself without sharing any? Or hiding snacks? And uh of course they find a way to make this gross too, which we cover later

I also wanna point out, as someone relistening as we speak, she emphasizes that being a white wolf means "i have a banging body and a hot face" and its just like, what so you turned 16 and after your first shift your body was instantly different? While you're still technically a kid btw, just instant convenient glow up? It would've been better to say she toned up after being able to shift and train with her new family but this story is pretty uh, weird and cringey at times, like bending over backwards to say what a #girlboss she is when she really barely did anything or did something objectively shitty

. Like, she goes to train the adults, and a 22 year old asks why she only gives commands but never spars herself, and yeah he's slightly mean like "oh she's just 17, I could probably beat her" and how does she respond? During the fight she tells him "say uncle and I'll stop" while twisting his arm and he says nothing so she just BREAKS HIS ARM and it's played off as, oh its fine he's a wolf he'll heal, but then she's like "someone call a medic, we have a LADY down" like at this point during my first listening I was seriously confused on how I was supposed to relate and empathize with such an unlikable protagonist? Like girl you were literally called misogynistic slurs and you upgraded to beating up grown men and calling them women like, you internalized that shit, not conquered it 🙄 also a lot of these werewolf stories, not just this one, kind of seem to gloss over "oh yeah we're more rowdy and violent and show pda more and it's not uncommon to accidentally find people fucking in the woods but that's our culture cause we're wolves lol 🤪" really because you all have science and medicine and your own forms of government and half of you are using smartphones and driving Lamborghinis so I feel that, let's be blunt, the sheer debauchery and barbarianism is an active choice and they're kind of just the equivalent of people who run around doing blatantly archaic and cruel shit under the guise of "but.... but tradition tho? 🥺"

Also, because it's happening again, really cannot emphasize how they keep complimenting her body and eventually even outright talk about sex clubs and bondage before she's sven 18. Like sorry I don't want to hear about how this 17 year old is "5'5 with a DD cup and a flat stomach but a big ass" yeah and I'm sure she has a magic thigh gap too 🙄 like in hindsight they deliberately keep her a minor so she's still going to high school for plot convenience but then they put her in REALLY gross and creepy situations. Like as I'm listening to this again I'm double checking and mentions of time passing to see if she's even 18 by the time. Creepy stuff happens.

So when she's going to the Red River Pack, Amira's friend Samantha starts to ask "so you really can't feel the mate bond?" To which Amira replies "no unless he marks me which isn't going to happen" which, forced mating isn't new for these stories but im always very cautious of stories that bring this up because it can be. Skeezy if not properly handled. So. Hypothetical strike 1?

When Amira and the others get back to her old pack and Erebus sees her again, he's still all "mine" and she just brushes it off and tries to talk about training, when Amira's original blood brother shows up and she blows him off too, which, good for her in both regards. So since Damon is "the alpha of alphas", when he says "hey can we actually see our rooms now" erebus shuts up and settles down, and starts showing them around. Amira and Samantha break off to do some shopping before they start school the next day, and they happen to see Erebus buying flowers, which Amira assumes is for his girlfriend. Nope, he sees her walking to her car and is all "can we talk 🥺" and she's like "yeah, at training tomorrow, about strategy :)" and he's just so MOPEY, and saying "I've CHANGED" to which Amira replies, kinda cringe, "and I shit rainbows" and walks away

(Also as a side note I'd like to mention how extremely common it is for the main characters in these stories or side surrounding characters to be like cheesy tropes and it's explicitly said that Damon is a multi billionaire and Amira is "at about half of his networth" from receiving inheritance after she left the pack from her grandma and also money from training wolves but like that would also make her a billionaire??? But her family being extremely wealthy would make sense for why her parents travel to the point of abandoning her, but its just a little much. In fact i dont think you can legally touch inheritance money until youre 18)

So anyways she gets into another stupid play fight with her brothers because she created a snack stash with her own money but didn't share, and Erebus sees her using magic to mess with them, so now he's discovered "oh shit, my mate is a white wolf?"

So like, there are these concepts of these people acting more feral like when it comes to their mates, and she's rejected him, but not like, officially right? Like in a lot of these stories, you can officially break the matebond by verbally declaring something like "I Rhiannon Michael's reject you Nathan Thorn as my chosen mate" and it, severs it? Like a magic cancellation, albeit with negative consequences. So Amira goads Erebus and says "doesn't it suck knowing you couldve had a white wolf as your mate?" To which Damon adds "yeah, now she gets a second chance mate and you just have a forever broken mate bond. I bet your pack will die out"

(A lot of these stories have concepts of "the alphas strength is the whole packs strength, they're the strongest with their true mate", so I assume this is what it means. Also, hhhh kinda lowkey gives me story ideas for a yandere werewolf or whatever who not only wants to but HAS TO keep his squirmy reluctant little human mate because his pack is literally stronger with her there)

But anyways Erebus' definitely mature adult response to this is "you're getting a second chance mate? NO! You're MINE" and CHARGES at her, but with a flick of her hand she knocks him away with a wind shield and mocks him saying she's going to choose another hot sexy alpha over him, but then, chooses to physically approach him, to which he grabs her, spins around, and is straddling her in the ground 🙄 there is an increasing feeling of wariness and uncomfortableness as Erebus nips at her earlobe while growling "mine" and Amira admits to it being pleasurable because, im sitting here thinking, why from a narrative standpoint would you include this detail, that at least physically it feels good to have this forced unwanted touch, from a man whos bullied a girl into suicide, what is the intent here, and i quickly reached a theory and felt a pit open up in my stomach. Red flag number 2. And then when Amira attempts to knock him off with her powers? Nothing happens, and Erebus giddily exclaims that a white wolf can't use their powers while their mate is touching them and wants to will them away

MAJOR RED FLAG. So the inherent powers she has in her own body can be forcibly stopped by someone else in a story about her trying to have her own autonomy and freedom? And she's being forced down by a man she's rejected and made her miserable and cannot use her own powers to get him off of her while he's beginning to basically assault her? RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG and then she just, like, briefly overpowers him, and is all "hah, I don't need powers to fight you! Right brothers? Let's go eat chips lmao" like not even joking it just abruptly ends like that, they just leave Erebus to go eat snacks and the next chapter (5) starts

So, chapter 5, Amira, her 3 brothers, and Samantha are all eating breakfast in the packhouse when her brother walks in, and, wouldn't you know, calls for their parents. And Amira is like, "oh, why would fake mom and dad be here? They're always gone?" But sure enough, in walk her parents, with a fucking two month old baby. Like. Its not properly addressed in the story itself so I just really want to rage that these people literally had their daughter attempt suicide and literally leave a note for them telling them she's running away to a new family and never wants to see them ever again and they just??? REPLACED HER??? It is COMPLETELY glossed over and not addressed AT ALL. Did they even MOURN HER? And of course the baby is a girl, NAMED MIRA. THEY REPLACED HER. THEY REALLY FULL ON DEADASS REPLACED HER AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM.

Like it is not addressed at all. Amira isn't even mad they have another baby besides hoping they don't do the same thing to it that they did to her? Like sorry in some hypothetical scenario where I found out my daughter tried to kill herself partially because of her brother, my son, and she ran away saying I wasn't her family and she wanted nothing to do with me ever again, I think I would hesirate to just immediately spit out another baby after pretty obviously failing my first two attempts? What quiverfull bullshit is this?

But Amira just walks up to them and is all "what I went through drove me to suicide, so love this little girl and give her everything you have, give her all the love you never gave me" but also like uh, you would think her parents would be like emotional and sobbing upon seeing her again and their reactions are more just, very muted and I think that may just be this author being kind of. Shit lmao. The mom just repeats how Amira addressed herself as someone else's daughter but, the conversation is interrupted because Mira is crying hysterically (vaguely implied because Amiras mom isn't very good at, momming) and, ugh, it's emphasized how immediately Mira becomes so calm that she falls asleep upon being in Amira's arms and that "I already feel so much love for this little girl, my little Mira" like she's literally crying tears holding this baby, and my uncomfortable feelings increase because literally the very second this happened I said aloud "oh god are they going to kill off her parents and make her raise her own sister just to show how sweet and motherly she is" and uh. :| well. Anyways Amira immediately asserts that she's going to be constantly visiting to check in on her little sister, and at this point I groan because I realize the little sister is a plot device so that Amira doesn't have the option of just finishing this training stuff and then never coming back to Red River. But anyways she demands her parents show her how to make Mira's formula and the story makes a point of showing how Amira is becoming increasingly reluctant to "stay mad" at her family, which uh would be the only reasonable reaction to be perfectly honest. But since Amira's hands are busy feeding Mira, which is only something she's insisting on doing, her parents are still right here the whole time, she turns to her brothers and asks which one of then is going to feed her, and of course Erebus walks in while Jason is spoonfeeding her pancakes

IMMEDIATELY "MINE, the only man feeding you should be me, you're mine!

"Jason is my brother??? Leave before I set you on fire, there's a BABY here."

So anyways Amira is leaving and there's this stupid part where they make it obvious that Mira prefers Amira over her own birthmother, sobbing the second her mother takes her back, and at this point I'm convinced they're killing off the parents, but, it transitions into a conversation where she deliberately pisses off Erebus on purpose by saying "maybe I'll fool around with someone" to which he bangs a fist on the desk "no you WONT fool around with a man that's not me 😤" and Amira retorts "I can fool around with anyone I want, because I'm hot as fuck, and you have no power over me" nd I'm thinking, good for her, albeit she's still 17 so, like, don't have her have sex at all maybe? And she retorts to him "go mark a pack slut"

And Erebus gets offended by this, but the ACTUAL red flag is DAMON'S reaction, which is "Erebus, hurt my sister and I'll kill you, Amira, fool around with a man I don't approve of, and I'll MAKE YOU WATCH AS I BREAK EVERY BONE IN HIS BODY. Understand?"

Oh, so, you mean to tell me that the brother figure who saved her from dying who has only known her for two years is also beginning to show signs of being possessive and controlling towards her in a potentially not platonic way? Ok. Ok. Red flag. Red flag for sure. Like genuinely the reason I'm going into so much detail is the sheer layers upon layers of ways Amira gets fucked over and betrayed. Also to take her out of the room, he threw her over his shoulder and carried her out? And she says if it wasn't for her real brother Brendan that Damon would be the worst brother ever, to which Brendan who literally used to beat her comes up all hurt like "w was I really that bad of a big bro🥺" to which Amira replies the title of the chapter, 1438, the amount of times her brother physically put his hands on her. She literally begins reciting the figures on how many wounds left marks, how many wounds left scars, and I remember listening to this scene and thinking, "you had the dedication or perhaps spite to keep mental track of all your injuries to the point of counting them but you never sought help from any adult whatsoever????"

But Brendan is legitimately crying and saying he's full of regret and that his parents get on him every day, but Amira just says "fuck you, if we weren't blood I would beat you senseless and light you on fire" and also the father waits until like the very end of this conversation to say "you hit her over 1400 times?" And Amira leaves with her new brothers while her father starts scolding her old brother

So at this point we're thinking, good for Amira, she's starting to really show Erebus and her old family up huh? She's showing everyone how much she doesn't need them and how she's moved on. This is exactly what I want from "you made me try to kill myself stories so now I want either revenge or nothing to do with you" stories.

SO IMAGINE MY ABSOLUTE PAIN AND DEVASTATION WHEN CHAPTER 6 OPENS WITH

EREBUS' POV

LITERALLY i was listening to this story while working and I went, out loud, "NOOOOO THAT MEANS HE'S THE MALE LEAD, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS". So I try to form a protective mental barrier of denial. Maybe they're just showing his POV to rub his nose in how he's fucked up and give us the audience satisfaction? After dropping this story, I actually found another story that did that, that had POVs for both the new and old boyfriend and would cut to the old one to show him scheming, so, when this chapter came along, I was DEVASTATED but tried to think, hey, this, this isn't immediately game over, right?

Wrong

So the chapter starts from Erebus' point of view starting off from him walking in on Amira being fed and his internal monolog is as creepy as you would expect "oh my perfect mate, when I'm near her, I just want to hug her, kiss her, tie her down, and fuck her until she's mine" (again, she's still 17 at this point, I know I keep saying it but, not a big fan of the constant sexualization of a minor in what's supposed to be a female empowerment story?) . And or course his dumb ass internal thoughts are about how he's changed as a person, he reprimands other people for bullying, but he's also told everyone in the pack that Amira is his mate even though she already told him no. And then he has this internal thought process of "no, just mark her by force so she feels the bond. But that would be cheating. We have to do this the right way" but like uh him saying it's wrong does not undo the fact he's even considering forcing her, which, well, later on---

(Also lmao ms 5'5 DD cup huge ass flat tummy Amira is also described as having 'a tiny waist' like girl cmon)

Should I also mention we only have a female narrator so, she also does the men, so, that can be a little. Awkward lol. She has a decent range but, it's still "girl making her voice deeper to try and be a dude". I think she does a good job, simply mentioning, there are other stories with multiple VAs, which I'm getting to later, but, I figured I would mention how the story sounds besides the writing quality itself

Anyways uh Erebus overhears Amira's brothers talking about him, and one of them is like, do you think Amira will ever forgive Erebus, and Damon deadass responds "not sure, if she does I'd be highly apprehensive, but he really seems he regrets his actions, so if she chooses to give him a chance, I'll be there for her" ummmmm the fuck? How would you fucking know? Who are you to even say it seems like Erebus has regrets? And does him having regrets somehow magically undo what he did? It's the fact this is Damon who is Amira's number 1 supporter saying this, that Erebus would vaguely deserve some sort of chance after what he did? And of course Erebus hears all this and says "see she's gonna give me another chance, I believe in the mate bond"

Also if there's an official statement to break the mate bond why didn't Amira just say it instead of insulting him and running off. Like. Red flag.

Erebus witnesses another sibling tickle fight and keeps internally calling her his mate, which is gross, and, oh no anime trope, she was running away and tripped right into him and stumbled them both right over 🥺👉👈 and Damon scoops her up, mocking him and thanking him for catching his sister and saying at least hes good for something. And Erebus, full simp mode, says "as long as I get a chance to hold her, that's fine" and like Damon has a visible sympathetic reaction, gross, and Erebus is all "I hope he hears the sincerity in my voice uwu"

So. Gosh, I know I've written so much at this point, so I may skip some scenes, or only mention footnotes until significant events, but we haven't even come NEAR the PEAK BULLSHIT that happens later

-she confronts her old class again and is all edgy and stupid about it tbh. "Before you all made me slit my wrists, but now I'm here to train this pathetic pack" ok edge lord some of them may have just been minding their own business. The entire classroom calls her "Luna" which is the Alpha's mate and top pack female

-Erebus pushes her up against a wall, you're mine, I love you, and she just replies, oh that must be a shitty feeling, loving someone who will never love you back. Queen. She gets away from getting out of his grip and threatening to burn him and then invites him for a formal fight behind the packhouse after school

-she for some reason was going to go meet him alone? Her brothers only came with after they found out

-she verbally acknowledges she can't hurt him as her mate, but doesn't formally reject him so he, you know, isn't her mate anymore? Like girl you have a solution to the problem?

-"the old me you knew died when she slit her wrists" cringe

-she gets him struck by lightning and gives a dramatic speech telling him dtuff like she tortures without a second thought and he wouldn't want her as his mate since she'd kill him in his sleep and as she's walking away SHE'S CRYING "BECAUSE IT HURTS TO DO THIS TO HER ALPHA WHO CARES ABOUT HIS PACK, AT THE END OF THE DAY HE'S STILL MY MATE AND IT MAKES ME SAD TO HURT HIM" GIRL YOU FUCKING LOSER, TF, genuinely hated this bitch at this point, imagine getting beaten daily for years and years and then just forgiving that and even loving that person. Vomit vomit vomit

-Amira decides the pack is too weak to be trained by her just yet and she doesnt want to stay in the pack house, so she's going to go to a hotel, and also tells all this to her brothers and Erebus, and also to stop telling the pack to call her Luna. Erebus says no, just because he doesn't want her staying in a hotel, not even her not wanting to train them yet, because 'she's his mate and he wants her close to protect her, and the pack calls you Luna because you're my queen and my everything and we WILL be together and mate" gross gross gross

-Amira tells him straight up she'd rather die than be marked by him yet doesn't reject him officially

-Erebus basically threatens to hold her in captivity on suicide watch and mark her without her consent "if she doesn't accept me in the near future"

-white wolves have natural strong maternal feelings which is stupid :/ I thought this was a bad bitch story, fuck them kids, she's still a kid herself, gross

-Erebus sees her helping this little girl Ariel who fucked up her ankle while playing and climbing a tree and he says this gross ass comment like "you're going to be the perfect mother to our pups" 🤮🤮🤮🤮

-Amira tells Ariel's parents not to call her Luna and for some reason this makes them sad? Shouldn't they respect how she feels? She isn't Erebus' mate officially, and then he strolls in trying to emotionally manipulate her by saying she's "breaking their hearts"

-"I used to care about breaking hearts until I cut my wrists from my own heart being broken" and you wanna think yeah bitch you tell him

Or so you would think, right? Except no, ot instantly transitions into describing how he managed to shower and is looking oh so handsome and sexy in a tight shirt that shows his muscles through it AND THIS BITCH ACTUALLY SAYS "OH HE'S SO HOT, I WOULD FOOL AROUND WITH HIM IF IT WASNT FOR OUR HISTORY, ACTUALLY I MIGHT WIND UP DOING THAT ANYWAYS" LIKE, HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT

By this point (speaking in past tense of my first listen, refreshing my memory on second go around) I am incredibly uncomfortable with the framing of this story as it feels almost definitive that Erebus is going to be forgiven and eventually rewarded with Amira, which, no, that's not why I read these stories, and you definitely are going to get on a lot of bad sides having a genuinely awful guy continue to be awful but be only slightly nicer and then never have to face consequences for his past

- Erebus insists that even if she doesn't feel the mate bond, she'll start to be attracted to him, he's, quote, "known as something of a sex god" even though he should realistically only be 17 or 18 years old, so, cap, little boy

-the depictions of Erebus touching her nonconsensually, like holding her down or pinning her against walls, starts to become increasingly fetishized. He corners her and basically tells her his preferred method of punishment is overstimulation and, she's a 17 year old virgin. she thinks this is all hot by the way and thinks "anything that happens between us would merely be fooling around" so its like oh great now you're repeatedly entertaining thoughts and admitting to yourself you find him "incredibly sexy"

So, chapter 9 right. The chapter is called "mate" and something about the simplicity and topic makes me think, oh shit, is this 'it'? 👀 are we here?

Amira's adoptive dad decides to send more Alphas to help Amira with the weaklings. Amira officially moves her things out of the pack house to stay at her fancy hotel in a royal suite "that's basically like an apartment", and she goes to eat at the restaurant at the hotel because, the other Alphas being sent over are also at her exact same hotel and, why not meet them? And upon entering the restaurant, she smells something and she feels this voice I side herself say MATE and she worries, shit, is Erebus here?

"And I look around in a panic, and Erebus is here BUT THATS NOT WHAT I WAS SMELLING"

AT THIS POINT IM HOLLERING, YES FINALLY WE'RE REPLACING THIS BITCH EREBUS, SECOND CHANCE MATE LET'S GO. It's another Alpha, Christian of the Oak Wood pack, and "holy fuck the mate pull is strong" so she's instantly dickmatized, like instantly feeling goo-goo over him. And he adores her and they start making up, which of course makes Erebus mad. And Christian says outright, "you don't deserve her, she's mine" so he obviously knows the story between them? But Amira and him are all doe eyed and she even sits on his lap after he pulls her close, but, y'all you're in a public restaurant... ew.....

So Erebus is sitting there glowering for the rest of the meal until Christian's men leave them alone for privacy, and this bitter bitch really says "let's cut the shit, white wolves are known for having more than one mate,and are known for being shared song them, the way I see it, you and I will have to share" and Amira snorts because that's absolutely fucking stupid and Christian is. Dead silent. "For several minutes"?

And then

This

Absolute little cunt of a man

Just says straight up

"I HONESTLY DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT"

The fuck? The FUCK? DID YOU NOT JUST ACKNOWLEDGE THE WHOLE SUICIDE THING THAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM?

But then this bitch, this bitch CONTINUES, "BUT I SUPPOSE YOU ARE CORRECT, I AM FINE WITH SHARING, IF THAT IS WHAT THE MOON GODDESS CHOSE"

screaming crying pissing throwing objects violently howling at the moon as I rage 'WHAT ABOUT WHAT AMIRA FUCKING WANTS', like girl throw the whole goddamn man away, he literally INSTANTLY ruined this and he JUST got here. this moron literally says "I can tell we were meant to share you, and I don't fuck with fate, I can tell he's different from the man who bullied you" oh so you know him better than his victim c: you know her pain? She should forgive it because he's magically changed but not really? And she should just BE SHARED? C: drink bleach

Oh and Christian is an 18 year old high school senior so he's transferring to Amira's school so basically every aspect of her life is being smothered with one of these prices.

Amira, literally, overhears Erebus and Christian talking in the school library about how "she's bound to come around, but if it isn't in the next few days, we may have to forcefully mark her"

So like, they're basically scheming to rape her. Ok. Let's not mince it. They are scheming to force upon her an act that will nonconsensually and permanantly alter how her brain and feelings and even her biology functions and basically force her to have feelings for them against her will. This is basically the kind of thing I would write, but the difference is I write stalker fetish porn and not, stories legitimately marketed as romance that's supposed to, like, idk, frame the guys as good, desirable people. They plot about even hiring witches to enchant restraints like handcuffs and ropes, and they're talking about things in such scary serious detail it's obvious they plan on doing this for real. And then they sense her outside the library and she tries to run, but of course she gets caught by Erebus :/ she has to "suppress the shiver that threatens to go down her spine" when he nibbles her ear and goes down to where her mate mark would be, gross, and "let's out a moan that's not completely forced" to lure him into false security for her to escape and create a barrier with magic, and oh, she suddenly remembers, she had a magical werewolf mindlink with her brothers, duh? All werewolves have mindlinks

Erebus is all "Amira we're your MATES, we're here to love amd care about you, but you have to LET US" this is like genuine fucking delusional yandere levels of denial and lack of accountability like, the Oscar goes to these men for the ability to act like they ain't the ones acting like total rapist nightmare creeps that she shouldn't have immediately called the werewolf police on

Anywaya, so in the past I was thinking, ok, ok, this has got to be, like, a red herring, right? How Erebus is so terrible and then Christian is immediately a piece of shit too? They just said several mates earlier, so, maybe she chooses number three? Is there a number three?

Mate number three is her fucking brother Damon and they all find out when he appears to rescue her. NUMBER THREE IS HER FUCKING ADOPTIVE FOUND FAMILY BROTHER WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SOURCE OF SAFETY AND TRUST AND SUPPORT FOR HER AND HE WAS BASICALLY ALWAYS IN LOVE WITH HER AND WAS ONLY PRETENDING TO LOVE HER AS A SIBLING AND ALL THOSE TIMES HE WAS ROUGHHOUSING AND SHE THOUGHT HE WAS BEING A PLATONIC BRO? NO HE WAS FEELING HIS ALPHA URGES. CARRYING HER WHENEVER SHE WAS SICK OR TIRED? ACTING ON HIS PROTECTIVE URGES OUT OF ROMANTIC LOVE.

But OH NO, they don't immediately know it's him, Erebus and Christian start freaking out and when Amira says "that's bullshit, I would feel the mate bond otherwise", Damon is just like "well, I know something I could do that might kickstart it if its there but you'll probably hate me for this" and suddenly kisses her without asking and thats how it is confirmed, yeah, he's number 3 and she likes kissing him, until she's panting afterwards 😩

-he carries her off into her car and there's this whole "no don't carry me k can walk, don't buckle my seat belt im an adult" "no Amira you're my mate and rhat involves giving this relationship my all, and that includes carrying you, protecting you, and fucking you--" she's still 17 and you were her "brother" just 5 minutes ago dude. But she gets horny from this 🙄 and. He can smell it.

-conversation about how she's a virgin who's never even masturbated, instantly transition to "he cups my pussy through my pants" YO SHE'S STILL 17 THO???

-Damon booked a suite down the hall from hers at her hotel 🙄 she instantly starts to hook up with him, UNTIL HE SUDDENLY MARKS HER WITHOUT ASKING, AND SHE LITERALLY SCREAMS NO. She says that he knew she wasn't ready and she was too much of her own person to be marked yet and this stupid bastard replies "no you ARE ready, I KNOW you're ready" ok you freak, you've technically known her for not even two years. You know her better than she knows herself? You know her so well it entitles you to break such an intense intimate personal boundary???

So now she's marked by him, against her will, and he's confident in his decision, and, like, it lowkey reads as a horror film because he transitions into how he knows she's scared but he's going to love and protect her but like he basically just MARKED HER SOUL without even a warning? It's like? That's rape dude? There's no glossing over that? You just changed an extremely huge part of her autonomy, bodily, emotionally, psychologically, against her will, and you're just telling her to chill because you love her and she's initially in love with you?

For a woman's empowerment story Amira sure keeps meeting men she is supposed to love and trust who bring some sort of unspeakable betrayal or harm upon her and it only gets worse.

-he marked her but they didnt have sex, awkward transition to two days later

-they're cuddling when Damon gets hard and randomly starts talking about how much he loves his women helpless, he loves bondage and overstimulation and how seeing a girl writhe in denial and overstimulation

-she's turned on, she's deciding you know what, after dinner I'm gonna fuck this man after we got out to dinner. She is INFATUATED with this guy, can't even focus on her food. She does this weird, seductive licking and sucking vanilla ice cream off her lips and fingers since she figures he's already paid the bill so it doesn't matter if he embarrasses them both by carrying her out which he does

But anyways so, they dont have sex again but its the next day, we're moving on to another really uncomfortable plot point. Damon pulls Amira aside and says "hey, with female wolves with multiple mates, when you're marked by one, you go crazy with the urge to mate wirh the others" ok pause, so because he marked her against her will, she is now magically horny for erebus and Christian where she wasn't before, and now they're magically going crazy because they can sense she's been marked and they ""need" to mark her now? This is so fucked up and unfair, where is her CHOICE, why is she a side character in her own story???

so, I don't really like any of these options, but out of the three, at least Damon will protect her from those that try to harm her, right?

WRONG

This

Little

Absolute

Cunt

Says

"YEAH NOW THAT I'M YOUR MATE, I ALSO SHARE A SORT OF BOND WITH CHRISTIAN AND EREBUS, OF RESPECT AND UNDERSTANDING, AND I NO LONGER WANT TO STOP THEM BEING WITH YOU"

psycho. Absolute freak. Marks her by force, and then says he's going to share her with the guy who pushed her to suicide, like DAMON WAS THE ONE WHO literally found her dying, and another guy she's already rejected. So. The betrayals really do keep adding up don't they? Like it's really unsettling how no one is truly in Amira's corner?

So she stands up and says "fuck you" because she feels hurt and betrayed by him, and there's this, extremelt cringey exchange, really genuinely cringey is the only word I can use, so she's trying to walk away from him, he grabs her from behind, lightly squeezes her throat, and says "you WILL calm down or I will take you home and punish you and you would NOT like my punishments. Don't forget I am a Dominant and you are my Submissive" like 🤮🤮🤮 ok Christian Gray wannabe bitch go fys

Amd Amira gets out of his grip and is rightfully enraged he'd threaten her and says he better watch out because she can pray to the moon goddess to remove their bond, and he just like, isn't even listening to her, and he says, "oh that's another thing we'll have to work out, you'll be a Sub to three Alpha Doms" and she's like "what" and casually he's like "yeah we're actually pretty popular at some of the CLUBS around here as famous Doms"

Oh, so. Let me. Let me run this back. Her three mates are her childhood bully who verbally belittled her and also horribly beat her, some new prick she doesn't even know who is totally fine sharing with the bully and is also totally fine with forcing her, and her adoptive brother of two years who doesn't care about sharing either and has already marked her by force, and all three of them have also been running around performing as Dominants at sex clubs at a professional level to the point of being known as, quote, the best Doms out there, the most experienced? That's an enormous turn off for me actually! Y'all are seniors in high school acting as Doms? Is that even legal? Wow, I sure would feel great to know that all 3 of the mates forcing themselves onto me and saying I don't get a choice have already ran through countless other women!

Oh and then her birth parents die. I'm serious, theres like a two mimute transition between Damon saying they'll share to her hearing her parents are dying. They got into a car accident. Her mom dies first and the mate bond weakens and takes her father soon after, so now, just as I predicted, she now has custody of Mira and she furthers her role as a plot device

-she's dumb enough to answer the hotel room door without double checking and all three men force their way into her room with groceries and stuff, to 'help her', separating her from Mira, and they immediately start talking about gags and ropes, and sure enough they brought restraints and she's sitting there with a ball gag talking about how they've restraint proofed the entire hotel suite "wherever we go we can tie her up, even in the shower"

This is straight up fucking yandere bullshit. And she kind of jokingly says "oh they're Dominants, so being restrained is something I guess I'll have to get used to, oh wait I'm not accepting them what am I saying tee hee" girl what the actual fuck this is NOT the time for this.

So while she's gagged, she's basically mentally recounting how to formally reject a mate bond. It will recede on her end, but the mates will still feel ot "and also become crazy possessive, but they're already possessive anyways" so why does canceling the mate bond basically not have any negative consequences. So the second her gag is removed, she verbally rejects them all at once, and they physically collapse to their knees in pain

Um. So. Rejecting Damon apparently doesn't count because the Moon Goddess has to accept your rejection if you're already marked? And Christian says "I reject your rejection" and what does he do? MARKS HER BY FORCE. AND THEN SO DOES EREBUS. AND THEY KNOW MARKING HER BY FORCE WILL CAUSE HER BODY SIGNIFICANT PAIN BUT THEY DO IT ANYWAYS. She literally passes out from the strain of two forced marks.

So at this point its like, how could this get any worse?

How about God herself personally making it worse?

The Moon Goddess herself winds up appearing in a flash of light before Amira and the three men and basically, God, how do I even describe this weird ass fucking conversation. She's acting all holy and motherly and wants to hold Mira and talks to Amira like a mom and then she turns to the men and then, just barely sternly chastises them, saying they completely ignored Amira's consent, and "im going to give you all another chance, but hurt her again and I'll give her entirely new mates"

So. So. So. Ok. Ok. Even though Amira already rejected them though? Like I thought only Damon needed your approval? Christian and Erebus marked her by force after she already rejected them? Did her rejecting them not even matter? Does she have any power or agency at all? Hey, blue fairy bitch, she already told them no and their response was to force themselves on her, so why is your response, oh, I'LL give you another chance. Bitch it's not your choice? The fuck? Also they already proved they're scum? What the fuck? So now even GOD is willing to sell her out? The fuck? The fuck?

So first listen in, at this point I'm obviously incensed, I'm thinking, ok, surely some weird bullshit is going on here, maybe one or two or three of them die or she rejects them all in the end anyways, so I say, fuck it, and skip to like, the third ti last chapter

"Me, Damon, Erebus, and Christian all sat together in the diner--"

Throwing my goddamn phone out the window. Fuck this story man. Fuck these characters, fuck how she literally only had one real friend this entire story (Samantha), fuck how her agency snd choice was constantly taken away from her, just, fuck it all, this was genuinely like a horror story, like genuinely made me uncomfortable to listen to, like I was audibly saying "but that's like rape? That's basically rape? What the fuck?"

So in better news, on the same app that this story is on, DreameFm, is a much better story I listened to and would recommend :) it's The Perfect Luna and you can listen to the first 3 chapters here here and here, (oh you can go straight to downloading the app where the rest have to be bought with coins). It's got some 36 or something chapters which I find a pretty decent length and I think the quality of the story and the voice acting is really good!

It follows the story of Alpha and Luna Riannon Thorne as the story begins with her being killed by her cheating husband's lover and being sent back in time to try and do everything all over again! After she's sent back in time, she can't talk to or use her wolf at all and has to rely on her wits and knowledge of the future to navigate through her second lifetime, but as she starts doing things differently, she finds a much different outcome than before. The voice acting is pretty good, although the lady does change at chapter 26 which is a little jarring since it's more than halfway over at that point but I still found the story worth continuing. The male voice actor, I think there may be two, are also dedicated, and i think you guys may like some of the villains like the evil Fox King who even has his own harem ;) definitely a palette cleanser for the awful awful whiplash that Back and Better gave me 🤮 bluh. Definitely a good girl power listen uwu

#yandere stuff #jesus this is LOOOOOOOOOOONG #weebwolves

[nagdabbit]

Dags because I concern w your health im not gonna take it as just a little joke and gonna say do Not eat too much of that brazil nut butter at once bc it can contain too much selenium and thats deadly. eat it in moderation please

love you mwah

first of all, you should take nearly everything i post while high as a joke. if im high and being serious, it wasn't a good edible

second, i do know that, actually. i know not to eat too much tuna, either, so i don't get mercury poisoning, and too much nutmeg will fuck me right up. ive been Heavily Medicated for most of my life, so ive spent a long time learning and drug-food interactions and food in general

third, it's not pure brazil nut butter. there's also hazelnut, macadamias, almonds, monk fruit, coconut, etc. if it were pure brazil nuts, there would likely be a warning label, especially since it's advertised for keto diets, and people who do keto without a legitimate medical need tend to overdo shit in my experience. gotta get that oily shit in EVERYTHING. especially the people doing keto who have done absolutely zero research into it and think they can just start eating cheese and shit and lose weight without actually fasting or prepping for the change because they don't realize they have to be in *ketosis.* this has been Daggs Fucking Hates People On Keto Diets Who Don't Need To Be And Make Themselves Ill Because They Can't Be Fucked To Learn Anything Beforehand. like, i like rich food, but have you ever had a keto meal when you're not even trying the diet? nightmare. so fucking much oil and grease

fourth, it occurs to me that this sounds mean and i didn't mean it to. i might still be high and i have to go talk to my brother's like. estate person. guy. probate lawyer? that person. and no one gave me any warning so i am frazzled

five, i ly thank you for trying to protect me from myself i do appreciate you 💜 i did just mostly need to number this post cuz i knew i would have a little keto rant in there. siobhan and todd had to listen to me all night

six, if you don't have a legitimate medical need, just don't fucking start keto. it's an unsustainable fucking diet if you don't need it to actually better your quality of life, and if you don't properly prepare yourself, all you're going to do is make yourself sick

seven, sorry, i got that keto haterade in me even when it's not related to the subject at hand

#asks! #sorry if this one came out mean i didnt mean for it too #im stressy and high and so stressy #i do appreciate you ily

[kushami-hime]

I posted 1,743 times in 2022

That's 226 more posts than 2021!

924 posts created (53%)

819 posts reblogged (47%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@onetrickponi

@thebigchoo

@goodlucksnez

@thescarlettletter

I tagged 1,039 of my posts in 2022

Only 40% of my posts had no tags

#kushami asks - 365 posts

#snzblr - 227 posts

#not snz - 213 posts

#snz kink - 207 posts

#snzfucker - 202 posts

#sneeze kink - 144 posts

#snz - 100 posts

#kushami wavs - 96 posts

#snz wav - 34 posts

#b/akugou - 30 posts

Longest Tag: 100 characters

#knowing that you all care so deeply for a stranger on the internet has restored my faith in humanity

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

CW: Sneezing, Stifles, Wet Sneezes, Half Stifles, BakuBrats stank attitude, embarrassment, 3 noseblows. 

One morning at the local hero agency, the newest generation fresh to the scene is called to a meeting by their serious colleague, Tenya Iida. Everyone is in attendance, including Ground Zero and Deku. But as they get settled in, a strong smell in the cramped room begins to set off Deku’s nose...this won’t end well. 

FIRST wav since...the dragon!baku one? That was done a hot minute ago I feel like but whatever lol. I cant find the proper anon question atm and to be honest I dont remember if its the same person but when you see this, I hope it’s alright! All I remember was that someone asked for D/eku dealing with someones strong perfume either in a mission/meeting/college lecture so I went with a meeting setting. I put my own little spin on it with music from the OST and using background sounds and stuff to give it more...immersion? idk lmao.

Anyway! It’s bedtime for me but horni hours for you guys. Enjoy! <3

102 notes - Posted April 6, 2022

#4

After waking up with a terrible fever, D/eku finds himself being taken care of by B/akugou, who’s usual rash behavior covers up his worrisome feelings over his lovers illness.

CW: Sneezing (dur) Baku being a tsundere mother hen, bratty sick Deku, Baku getting sneezed on (twice I think?), general caretaking, you know the drill. 

OK guys wtf HOW did this get so goddamn long!? This is my longest wav YET! And yet...I don’t think it lived up to the hype? Im just being hard on myself I guess, you all be the judge.

I really missed doing Deku and I got like, REALLY mess and REALLY stuffy during this wav and you can totally hear it nearer to the end/in the second half.

This was originally for THIS ask and Im sorry if it sucks (I know you said soft caretaker Baku but he’s pretty angry in the first half) but HEY its super long so there’s that? Lol. I also apologize for the quality, I had to knock it down during the export cause it was too big for Discord lol...

Anyway, um...enjoy I guess! It’s been a harsh week so Im gonna go eat something and watch anime I guess @-@ 

102 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

#3

CW: SLOW BURN, B/akugou being tied up/restrained, slight BDSM vibes, feather use, a LOT of sneezing (like...a LOT) long, drawn out holdbacks/build ups, some NSFW sounds if you squint, mess/hints at a lot of mess, feather allergy, my OC Tsumeko being a real bitch to blasty boi, established Pro Hero AU, hands free stifles, forced stifles, B/akugou being loud and having an absolute potty mouth, growly noises (cause yknow angry B/akubrat), forced false starts (if thats a thing), B/akugou being winded/out of breath on a few occassions, cameo from T/odoroki and D/eku at the end, shirt being used as a tissue/noseblowing into shirt.

CHARACTERS DEPICTED ARE IN PRO HERO AU AND ARE 25+!

K/atsuki wakes up tied to a support beam in a structurally unsound building seemingly underground. When he realizes his captor is a well known thief he's been chasing for weeks, he's completely seeing red. Will he be able to tough it out against her strange test of endurance or crack under the pressure with a weakness he didn't even know he had?

Holy fuck guys...this shit is the length of a full on anime episode and idk whether to be proud of myself or ashamed like...idk what to think. All I know is that a LOT of anons wanted this wav and well...here it is lol. It took like 3 - 4 weeks of repeat sessions of JUST sneezing and also holdback training if you will. Most of them were seperate but 90% of the holdbacks in this are 100% real so enjoy my genuine battle against fresh vials of Chinknii xux;

I'm also sort of on the fence with this one, cause it's been a hot minute since I've done a B/akugou wav and I pretty much forgot how to sneeze like him, and I rerecorded certain sneezes but without much improvement so sorry about that u.u Hopefully they get better as I do a few more wavs with him coming up.

SO! Um...hopefully this does some numbers cause I have to be up early and I stayed up to finish this and um...yeah! Im gonna go pass out now-

102 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

#2

CW: Nose blowing, wet sneezes, sniffling, buildups/hitching breaths, somewhat horny Bakubrat, very teasing and dominant/demanding! Listener is in a servant position so there’s that if you’re into domestic servitude lmao

After a long day away from the palace, B/akugou returns from an outing drenched in freezing rain, and sneezing almost uncontrollably. He claims he’s fine...typical B/akugou. But once Y/N pesters him enough, he admits that he may have caught himself an awful illness by the name of Dragon Fever. With human blood running through their veins, Y/N is immune to this disease, so it’s up to them to nurse the suddenly teasing and feverish king back to health...

AS YOU CAN SEE, this file was too big and too horni for tumblr so I had to use soundcloud instead. A lot of people have been waiting for this, so I really REALLY hope it came out OK. You guys know Im too hard on myself these days like, ugh. The self loathing is so real...

But, it’s here. And I’ll probably take some time to write scripts and maaaaybe write a short fic? I dunno yet, Im really tired, lol Enjoy!

Minors DNI. Non-Kink blogs DO NOT REBLOG! Love you guys!

103 notes - Posted February 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

A shy, nerdy type of guy you've been friends with for so long that you've decided to tell about your kink. He thinks nothing of it, even reassures you that it's natural and it's not weird at all! He even totally forgets it...even as he's struggling with his usual hayfever.

You can't help but squirm as he's humiliating himself by struggling to fish out his used tissues to wipe his streaming nose, holding back his sneezes with messy half stifles into his hands. He looks down at the shiny mess in his palms as he hides himself from you, flushed red in the face. That's when he remembers.

"W-wait...y-you...l-like this sort of thing...don't you?"

133 notes - Posted March 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #SoundCloud

[iwasneverth3re]

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII im here (heres a few questions) (༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ)

what led to you liking gun? (if u do like him)

what arc in lookism did you like the most?

do you have any pets and if u dont what pets would u wanna get?

what's your favorite food?

compliments <3 :

I AM SOO IN LOVE WITH YOUR ART LIKE I GENUINELY MEAN IT WHEN I TELL YOU I JUST STARE IN AWE FOR A FEW MINUTES ADMIRING HOW GORGEOUS AND ABSOLUTELY STUNNING IT IS.

and also i get sent to heaven whenever you compliment me fjsadjhfsjk

HYUSOLKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HIIIIIIIIIIII💛 first of all, I just wanna say thank you for stopping by and sending me an ask!!

But let's GET INTO IT *rubs hands together*

- "What led you into liking Gun?" *in Steven blum's voice* I love the kind of woman thay can kick my ass-

But no seriously though, it's kind of funny because prior to me rereading lookism last year, Zack and Goo were actually my most favorite characters way back when. When I first read the series back in 2018 I used to LOOOOVE Zack (I still do!) because I loved the character development he went through (I'm a sucker for characters that are originally an asshole but once they become humbled multiple times, and they try to hecome a better person, they become extremely lileable) and he's such a great guy. Like I remember wishing I had a Zack Lee in my life because his love for Mira is so sweet and he's got that typical don't-hurt-my-loved-ones-or-I'll-murder-you Shonen trope that everyone knows and loves. I used to love Goo (I STILL DO THATS MY OTHER MAN) because I liked how chaotic and unpredictable his character was, especially when he helped out Vasco in the past arc (and it was interesting to me since you'd think that Goo was doing out of the goodness of his heart but nah he was just happy that he has an excuse to go all out like this mfer is CRAZY).

Anyways, back to the main point, I love Gun as a character because this guy? Fuck him. Fuck him AND his drip. He's an absolute menace. He is horrible and I love him for it because he has no redeemable qualities and he knows he's not a good person. He does have his moments where he has done something /good/ (good is a stretch and a lack of better wording) I.e when he let Eli go to see Heather, when held off on Jake's and Big Deal's disposal because he respected Jerry's undying loyal to Jake. Other than that though, Gun is a very much self-serving character. Although Gun has done many horrible things, he surprisingly sucks as a villain LMAO but perhaps I only feel this way because he's not a major foil to our beloved mc, Daniel. For a serious character, Gun's quite the goofy character because a) every time he acknowledges someone or hypes up their strength, they get packed up. B) he is unintentionally funny. Like him partying it up with Goo while holding a fire extinguisher? Him getting so mad at Eli for wanting to leave the gangster life for Heather? Him about to beat the crap out of people younger than him in a high school parking lot? HILARIOUS. He's also so easy to make fun of him LIKE LOOK AT HIM. HE LOOKS LIKE A T-REX READY TO SWALLOW YOU WHOLE

Although I very much do still enjoy his cold, blood-thirsty character that we get these days, I do miss his old characterization back in the old lookism days because he smiled a bit more and while he's still goofy, he was a different kind of goofy back then. He's also interesting to me; like there's so much that we need to unpack from his character because from what we know so far, he's the head of the Yamazaki clan, he's the only known person thus far that is constantly in UI mode, he got sent to juvie (as he should), and he's allied himself with Charles Choi while they were both in juvie for reasons unknown.

OOF THIS ANSWER GOT VERY LONG IM SO SORRY.

Basically TL;DR I love Gun because he's a fun character, who also happens to be an asshole and the narrative doesn't try to paint him as otherwise by any means. He's also badass and hot and handsome (not a lookism moment) and funny.

- "What arc do you love the most in lookism?" OH no, you really don't expect me to answer that do you because there are TOO many that I like to simply choose one LMAO. I really liked the arcs back when lookism had the more thriller/suspenseful elements to it . Like the whole stalker arc? I remember getting actual chills reading it, specifically those panels where one panel shows Daniel sleeping in the dark but then lightning strikes and it shows the stalker crouched over, watching Daniel slumbering with that creepy little smile of hers). I also liked Zack's babysitting arc with Yena because at first he was upset that his date with Mira was interrupted by said person finding a missing child. But after time, he completely falls in love with Yena (or ZaMi at the time LMAO) and I really do hope that we get a mini arc where he can babysit her again.

- "Do you have any pets? And if you don't, what pets would you wanna get?" I actually have a pet! Her name is Keiko and she's a grey and white domestic short haired cat! She's turning 4 this year🥹

- "What's your favorite food? OOF now this one is a hard one because I can't choose just one favorite. I would have to say that sushi, takoyaki, butter chicken, French fries, pasta, cake and cookies are definitely my favorites!

Compliments <3; D'AWWWWW HYUSOLK THATS SO SWEET OF YOU TO SAY🥺 I'VE NEVER HAD ANYONE SAY THAT THEY'RE IN LOVE WITH MY ART (LIKE IT'S JUST HARD TO BELIEVE WHEN I HEAR IT) OR SAYING HOW GORGEOUS OR STUNNING IT IS AND COMING FROM A TALENTED ARTIST SUCH AS YOURSELF IS A HUGE HONOR AS WELL BECAUSE YOU'RE EITHER ALWAYS CHALLENGING YOURSELF OR EXPERIMENTING WITH DIFFERENT ART STYLES AND IT COMES OUT SO BEAUTIFUL EACH TIME?? LIKE IM STILL NOT OVER YOUR JANIEL ART AS THE FALLEN ANGELS MOVIE POSTER LIKE ITS SO STUNNING AND THE WAY YOU COLOR IS SO GOOD - LIKE I COULD NEVER.

- You get sent to heaven when I compliment you? No, I GET SENT TO HEAVEN WHEN I GET COMPLIMENTED BY YOU BECAUSE AGAIN, IT'S STILL SO SURREAL TO ME THAT A TALENTED ARTIST SUCH AS YOURSSLF, WOULD LIKE MY ART🥺💓💓💓

Also a little off topic here but I find your love for Jay adorable because whenever you draw him, you can tell that you have a lot love for him and it really shows! Like I don't know how to explain it but you can see it if that makes any sense??? Anyways way though, thanks for stopping by!!

#IM SO SORRY MY RESPONSE TURNED OUT A LOT LONGER AND BIGGER THAN I INTENDED FOR IT TO BE😭😭 #these ask games are really fun! #li li speaks💬 #li li's asks💬 #Heartfelt Hyusolk💟

[spicyicymeloncat]

Crystalised part 2 ep 17 spoilers

GUESS WHOS BACK

Oh heyyyy it’s out in English (quality’s shakey but I don’t care at this point)

VILLAINS REALLY JUST BE SPINNING LLOYD. Isn’t he getting blood rushing to his head by now? Or neck ache?

The overlord looks like a fuzzy lion tbh. Like the shape. Actually he’s giving me fnaf freddy vibes. I haven’t scene a lot of fnaf tho

Overlord rlly be like, first I gotta accessories these bitches. The overlord is that meme where

Council: bye overlord we’re gonna take over the world!

Overlord: not looking like that you aren’t

Council: better?

Overlord: yass bitch slay

(I don’t remember how it goes)

Wow these guys sure know etiquette. Always remember to say please and thank you when the embodiment of evil hands you the weapons of god

Overlord: “yeah I guess I was trying to impress you like oh my god I’m just trying out my fashion career why are you so judgey im gonna cry I don’t wanna take over the world I just wanna start up my fashion business and I needed the golden weapons as the perfect accessories the catchphrase to my line up is “we put the slay in slayyy queeen” ahhhh”

Overlord: “was that not cool for you?? I’m also renovating, I’m gonna float my castle please tell me it’s cool also can you please look at my Lego army I forced Harumi to build out of Lego for me and please no mean comments I’m insecure 👉👈”

Actually love how the overlord has insecure vibes I mean he literally forced pythor to eat him just so the robots wouldn’t judge him yknow

THE COUNCIL REALLY JUST BEING MORAL EMOTIONAL SUPPORT THEYRE LIKE “ITS OKAY OVERLORD WE THINK UR COOL”

Wow okay aspheera really said fuck you vangelis btw did you I’m really cool and awesome. Like what tf did vangelis do man he was just standing there only to get absolutely slammed by aspheera man

Ohh yeah. Anti monarchist mechanic for real. Amazing. The overlord (the Crystal king) didn’t comment on it, but he was like bestie I’m right here

Everyone’s relationship with royalty is great

Pythor: became king through legal serpentine conventions (also lost the crown legally since he was proclaimed dead)

Aspheera: overthrew the emperor illegally and reinstated herself as empress

Vangelis: got overthrown himself

Harumi: legally was princess but overthrew her parents to reinstate someone else as emperor

Mechanic: anti monarchist

Mr F: literally just some guy

The Crystal king: what is he even king of? Is it just an empty title

Harumi internally: I’m beginning to sense a pattern in me resurrecting bad guys being a bad idea

Honestly Lloyd is such a king, he’s so sassy when like he thinks all his friends are dead, he’s in a room filled with all his trauma being confronted by the guy who possessed his father, uncle and killed zane. Damn he really chose sass instead of sad

The overlord really was like “choice number 3 🥺” sorry I can’t get baby boy puppy dog ck out of my head

Lloyd was like “great chat guys, *knocks over temple* imma head out now lol” yesss king!

Vangelis: oh yeah I can fly whOOP

That was such a cool scene but vangelis really got hit by random vengestone. He scored a nat 1 on his dexterity check

They’re like elementary schoolers “yes Lord!”

Istg Harumi now you choose to care about Lloyd. “Now he has no family (I killed them) he’s just like me and I sympathise!” Bestieeeee wtf. Can we pretend that that’s what ck said (yeah I’m calling the overlord Crystal king ck now lol)

Lloyd “I’m fucking lost :]”

“Ninja can’t fly” *coughs* airjitsu *coughs more* *dies of coughing fit*

Crystalised ice shuriken is so cool. But mr f said he prefers GUN

Vangelis and Mechanic completely ruining Pythor’s moment and it’s better bc they literally do not have any personal connections with Lloyd pffft

Oh my fucking got WHO IN THE CRYSTAL C*CK HAS THE BRAIN CELL TODAY BECAUSE ITS SHARED AND IT HAS BEEN LOST YALL YOU GUYS DID A SMALL BRAIN

Harumi has the brain cell too bad she also suddenly has emotions now too

Yeah team Crystal c*ck definitely left the brain cell at home, guys why did no one notice Harumi leave??

Woah it’s super convenient that this castle is fitted with automatic doors that don’t turn off when they have a security breach. I see the overlord really does value style over sense

The entirety of the c*ck squad shaking their heads “straight people…” (sorry for making an explicitly llorumi joke we don’t ship it here bc incest??? I just wanted to point out that I think the c*ck squad hates straight ppl. Also yes the council are all gay)

Tbh the impact of hitting the water from that height should have shattered their skulls. Luckily Lloyd is playing by minecraft logic

Aspheera: jump after them

Vangelis: *can fly*

Also vangelis: *fucking leaves*

Lloyd carrying around Harumi, a deadweight in the water, just like how he carries harumi, a deadweight to his emotional health

Lava 👀

Wu: “guys I have a plan but it’s illegal”

Everyone: “hell yeah fuck the police”

Ik it looks like I just made fun of the Crystal king and co for 10 minutes (Tbf I did) but none of that is complaints this so great, and honestly I enjoyed this, it was amazing. Im here for quirky gay legos in hot pink and vivid purple and that’s what I got hell yeah. Also crimeboss Wu appreciation

#ninjago #lego ninjago #Ninjago crystalized #ninjago crystalized spoilers #reaction #I’m back #can’t believe my country’s politics pushed back this episode 😔 sorry guys my bad #should have done the assassination at a later date #as you can tell I had fun tonight

[sydthefrog]

(Important post)

Ok guys im not going to talk about the hardest thing anymore sorry for losing my mind for awhile but i think i got it all out of me. I still love the show so much but I'll probably only ever interact with and talk about pre-finale stuff. Like im just always going to think about amphibia in its pre-finale form, I'll probably never talk about the timeskip in present tense, I'll always see the calamity trio as thirteen and who they were during the show. I didn't absolutely hate the finale it had its good qualities but i think I've made it clear that i was very much not a fan. Will always love and talk about amphibia(though im not one for lingering too long after shows end, i usually move onto the next thing pretty quick), but will be actively avoiding post-finale stuff. It just makes me sad and i want to remember and celebrate and cherish amphibia for what it was, not how it ended.

Amphibia is truly one of the greatest animated shows ever made and it has been so special to me the last couple years. Me and my friends literally grew so much closer because of this show. The pure work of art that is the character development, world building, themes, animation, music, style, and amazing stand-alone scenes will always be worthy of apraise. from Anne Or Beast? To Reunion to Marcy At The Gates to True Colors to Escape To Amphibia to All In this show was nothing short of incredible and its the most fun I've ever had while being in a fandom. Not only is Anne such a fucking amazing protagonist but this show has such a unique quality in that its side and background charaters are so developed and likeable and valued. The characters were definitely the heart of this show. I'll always be proud of Anne, I'll always have fun with Sprig, I'll always luagh with polly, I'll always be comforted by hoppop, I'll always relate to Marcy, I'll always be in awe of Sasha. Im eternally thankful this show was apart of my life and i got to have this experience. Despite its issues, its imperfections, its dissapointments, Amphibia will always be so special to me, and i can't even really say why. It just is.

I think im going to be taking a break from social media for a little while and distancing myself from the amphibia fandom temporarily. I just want some time to process everything and come to my own conclusions and just be at peace with it. My anger and sadness about the finale just flare up when im on here and i just want to get over it yknow? Even though i want to interact on here and being on tumblr is a habit im hoping for this to be my last post until i come back (which will probably be this Saturday when the new toh ep comes out). So until then ✌

#kind of a tribute post to amphibia before going back to just the fun stuff #finale hurt me and i just want to go back to making memes and reblogging fanart and talking about AUs #i dont want to be upset yknow but i have my own issues and im not good with things ending #and despite this just being a show i need a little greiving period #eventually i WILL get over it and ill be able to watch and talk about amphibia and have fun and itll be all good #just too intense right now though #amphibia spoilers #the hardest thing #anne boonchuy #sasha waybright #marcy wu #sprig planter

[bunny-heels]

21,26,44,49 for the weirder asks

21.

so when i was probably 11 or 12, maybe younger, i went to a store with my whole family during February i think, and i saw this red basset hound valentine themed plushie. hes bright red with golden eyes and, at the time, had the pattern of hearts embedded in his fur that went the opposite direction. my grandfather bought him for me, as a present. i was smaller at the time and he was bugger than my torso and head combined. since that day i still sleep with him in my bed and some nights i feel like i cant sleep properly without him

his names Valen ❤️

26.

a lot of them have to do with what i imagined while listening to music [the whole thinking of an animatic to the song youre hearing type thing]. one scenario is a storyline based on Final Girl by graveyardguy and SLAYYYTER where the guy is an analog horror dude and the chick is a college student and they have a weird "we act like enemies cause we try to kill each other but actually we've got lots of weird sexual tension to pain and blood" type love thing. dont ask me why i dont draw these things i have issues.

44.

this is such a fucking hard decision like legit because theres so many people that deserve to fuckin die im not even kidding. probably p/wd/ep/e because like his whole situation is one of the biggest reasons why shitty youtubers still get support. or sh/ne d/ws/n cause he was a big part of my youtube childhood and he never fuckin shouldve been. everyday im thankful and amazed that i never picked up shit from his stupid skits. praying to the other people out there that had to have him as part of your life i am so sorry.

46.

ELOIS AT CHRISTMASTIME i dont care if it has the same quality as a hallmark movie and is stupid as hell i absolutely loved that movie and the previous one ever since i was a kid and always wished i had the life of that fuckin kid running around a hotel like its my palace and being friends with the staff members i loved it so much

meme

#the bun answers #long post

[miekasa]

Mie, I’m begging for some Jean college au bf hcs - im literally so down bad for this man and the way you write men is just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

Absolutely, not a problem 😌 I saved this ask as a draft a while ago when you sent it, sorry for just now getting to it. Anyway, I love Jean with my whole heart, best boy, best boyfriend <33

King of forehead kisses, and not even just because of his height in comparison to yours; he just likes it. He likes the feeling of pressing his lips against your skin, and making you feel safe.

Brings you tea or coffee however you like it every day without fail. If he can get it to you in the morning before work/school then he’ll do that, if not he’ll meet you some time in the middle of the day to drop it off. Your own personal courier just for drinks.

He… has a thing for long(er) nails. He loves the feeling of them against his skin, even if you’re not scratching to apply pressure—just you holding his hand them grazing his skin is enough for him.

That being said, he will pay for you to get your nails done. Actually, he’ll pay for… almost anything you want, but the nails benefit him as much as they do you so feel free to ball out.

He never blowdries his hair because he doesn’t... know how to do the back of it. You did it for him once and he hasn’t stopped thinking about it since, but he’s also too embarrassed to ask you to do/style it again.

On the subject of hair, he does do his best to style it and take care of it, but he’s a sucker whenever you play with it. Sometimes he feigns like you’re messing up all his hard work, but he’ll literally crane his head into your touch. He loves it. 

The first time he lays on top of you and you run your hands through his hair... top 10 most euphoric moments of his life. He tries to fight off the sleep threatening to take over him, but it’s futile. Give it 15 minutes at most before he’s knocked out like a baby. 

Dogs love him. Anytime you’re in a park or just taking a walk and there’s a dog around, it’ll come up to him and he looks adorable leaning down to pet it. He loves dogs, too! So he’s always happy to stop and pet them. He’d be a 10/10 dog dad. 

Has your name saved in his phone with two hearts at the end. Do not point it out.

Loves taking pictures together and if you guys are on a date, he’ll ask someone to get a picture for him. He just likes having them to look back on (and to send to his mom, later).

He doesn’t mind painting classes or videos or tutorials, but he hates paint by numbers kits. He claims that they have no sense of color theory and that it takes the originality and fun out of painting. Not to mention the quality of the paints isn’t great to begin with; all of which he takes very seriously.

It’s pretty cute actually, to see him get worked up over the paint kits. He claims that painting and drawing isn’t even something he takes “that seriously,” it’s just a hobby for him (one he’s insanely good at); but in moments like these, you can tell that he’s way more into art and art theory and history than he lets on. 

Huge movie guy, from animated movies to martial arts movies, Jean is usually willingly to give anything a watch at least once. When he’s high, he can go on about his favorite directors and art styles and movie details for hours if you don’t stop him. It’s super cute. Just don’t bring up Moana, because he’ll start crying. 

Arm around the shoulder kind of boyfriend for sure. It’s a casual way of keeping you near him and letting everyone know that you guys are together. Plus it allows for him to easily pull you into him for a quick forehead kiss when needed.

Listen. If you hug his arm, he’s on cloud nine. He tries to be nonchalant about it but he’s about three seconds away from his eyes rolling back in his head it feels that good to him. Bonus if you lean your head on his bicep a little—then he’s a goner.

He takes his bagels very seriously and believes that both you and him deserve nothing but the best quality bagels. He’ll grumble if a bakery gives you guys a less than favorable one and make a note that taking the long route to get to his favorite place is much more worth it.

Always makes you walk on the side furthest from the cars. If he notices you’re not, he’ll just shuffle behind you until he’s shouldering the street and you’re on the inside. 

He grew up on a kind of modern ranch situation; not exactly all the way in the countryside, but not isolate from the city, either. Because of this, he knows how to ride horses, take care of smaller farm animals, tend to plants, and yes he knows how to use a lasso. You wouldn’t know any of that though, because he never ever talks about it. The only way you find out is when he takes you to visit his mom’s house for the first time, and she asks him for a hand around the place. 

(He’s got a cowboy hat, too, but refuses to put it on. He got it when he was, like, nine, okay, leave him alone). 

When he thinks you look tired, he’ll wrap his arms around your shoulders to hug you. It’s usually followed up with a kiss to your head, and a promise that you guys will go home soon and get food on the way. 

He’s a really good cook. He just understands and flavors and pairings really well, so he doesn’t need a recipe to make something that tastes good; he just kind of knows what to add to get the balance he’s looking for. 

Naturally, he’ll cook for you. Especially if he finds out that you haven’t eaten all day/in a long time. He doesn’t care if it’s 11pm and it might seem excessive to make steak and potatoes with a side salad at this hour, he’s gonna do it to make sure you eat, and you are going to sit there and watch. 

He also bakes pretty well, though he isn’t as experimental with his baking as he is with his cooking. He usually sticks to what he knows, and it’s not cupcakes and brownies and cakes; he’s better at croissants, and cheesecakes, and canelés. 

Dating Jean means getting along with his friends. If you guys didn’t know each other before you started dating, be prepared to be ambushed by Connie and Sasha (after Jean stops hiding you away and gives them the green light lmfao). Neither of them waste time with the small talk and formalities; straight into mini golfing and beer pong. They make you feel welcome right away.

Sasha always teases that you’re too good for Jean, and that she might just steal you away for herself some day. Sasha is also Jean’s main confidant, so she really knows just how much he loves you, and yeah, she teases him for being lovesick, but really she’s happy for Jean. And proud of him for facing his feelings like this. 

Connie adores you, and you know he trusts you when he starts going to you for advice/help. Could be anything from schoolwork, to what color he should get his new shoes in. He’s also the one who, surprisingly, you have the sentimental talks with about your relationship with Jean. It’s easy to overlook, but Connie loves Jean, and he’s come to love you too; he just wants you both to be happy, so he’s there to listen when you need it. 

Jean waits outside of your classroom after you’ve had a test or presentation, usually with a drink or a snack, or the promise of taking you out as a treat. Always tells you he’s proud of you, and is there to comfort you if you think you didn’t do too well. 

He does not shut up about whatever major you’re in. It could be the same as his; it could be the complete opposite as his. He thinks it’s so sick that you’re doing it, you make it look cooler, you make it look better, and he’s certain you’re the smartest person in your program. 

He’s pretty serious about his studies, too, so he’s always down to study with you in the library whenever you’re both free. More often than not, he shows up after you, usually with food or extra chargers. He greets you with a kiss on the forehead, and asks you how you are while massaging your shoulders gently. If it’s been a while since you took a break, that’s the first item on the list, after that, he gets to work and stays with you until you’re ready to go, even if he doesn’t have as much work to do. 

He always sits across from you. This goes for when you’re in the library, or out to eat at a restaurant; Jean loves sitting across from you. He gets to see your face the best that way, and he adores looking into your eyes when you talk. 

He’s not... not a morning person. He’s not up at 6am ready to grind, but he wakes up before noon; let’s say 10am is his happy medium. That being said, if you wake up before him, regardless of the time, there’s a 9/10 chance he’ll lay on your back and tell you to hush so you guys can sleep for 10 more minutes. 

If you’re (close) friends with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, Jean is... happy you’ve got people to rely on, but, “Of all people on the planet, you put your trust in Jaeger?” He acts so bitter (because he is), but deep down inside, he’s glad you have Eren to rely on if you need to. 

(Also, you have to humble him and remind him that he and Eren aren’t all that different. If you like him, why wouldn’t you get along with Eren, bye). 

Turns out though, that it’s not Eren who threatens to beat him up if he breaks your heart. It’s not even Mikasa, although, her threat goes without saying; it’s Armin he’s terrified of.

The last time Armin hated someone, it was this guy in your program, who happened to share a few mutual classes with him, too. Jean never knew the full story, just that he’s pretty sure that kid dropped out the following semester. 

If you have a job on campus, Jean usually doesn’t show up while you’re working (knowing how embarrassed he would be if you did that to him), unless you work the night shift and it’s dead. Connie, however, does show up; usually in some kind of crisis (“Please help me, I don’t know what the fuck APA formatting is and this is due tonight, please, please, please!!”). Your coworkers actually thought Connie was your boyfriend for a minute. That’s when Jean starts showing up more lmfao.

He makes it a point to go on a scheduled, night out, kind of date at least twice a month. He knows life gets busy with school and work and midterms, but he always makes sure you both set side a time to take a well-deserved break and be with each other. 

He’s the romantic type, so these dates are pretty swoon worthy, too. Drive-in movies, nice dinners, classy art exhibits, Jean plans it all. On that note, he really likes planning dates; he just doesn’t like talking about them with his friends beforehand. 

All in all, very romantic, very precious boyfriend. He’s always thinking about you, what you need, and how he can help you out. You’re one of his main priorities, and he just wants to treat you right. 

#anonymous #when.... when.... WHEN IS IT MY TURN #aot x reader #jean x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirstein x reader #aot imagines #no because he's the love of my whole life #jean fluff #jean smut #eren x reader

[fktonofwhatnow]

ok hold on. acomaf is my fave book out of the whole series (it's mostly out of emotional value, i read it when i was younger and didn't have a real understanding out trauma and abuse only that i saw a character i loved getting out of a bad situation and getting happy) so obviously i didn't mind feysand being endgame and the development all of the characters had. i can accept tamlin turned out like that is realistic due to his trauma, i can accept feyre had to flee because it wasn't right for her, but the thing is after acofs i see no point to feyre leaving tamlin when rhysand ends up doing everything they told us tamlin was evil and unredeemable for. hiding the risks of her pregnancy, putting on shields on her, having feyre need to compromise over it. i honestly felt so betrayed by that. i'm not saying feyre and tamlin were good for each other, but it doesn't feel worth it to dismiss the potential they had for what we got with feysand.

also, sarah learn to treat "ugly" trauma with respect challenge. no they don't need to learn to physically fight to fight it. no they don't need a love interest to overcome it. yes the behaviors acquired from trauma and abuse aren't pretty but that doesn't mean a person is undeserving of kindness and compassion.

i think i had a point somewhere but i can't get to it. so hope you don't mind my rambling. anyway i loved your meta about tamlin i think he deserves better too

HOLY SHIT THIS ONE IS SO GOOD OK IM SO EXCITED

Bro you are so fine, I'm the one who doesn't make any sense and I totally get what you're trying to say. (Acomaf was actually my favorite book in the series too ngl)

BUT FUCK YEAH LETS TALK ABOUT RHYSAND.

I don't think it's a secret that Rhysand is one of my least favorite characters in media, probably ever? (How do I even put this into words) He is a bad character and to me, laughably so. You know how if you've ever written a character, there's that little phase that's like "what if people don't like this character' and then you're sad for a little bit? That's how Rhysand feels to me. He feels like SJM looked at this character and thought "I can't stand the thought of people not liking this character because I love him so much" and then did everything in her power to make sure we know how great he is.

Idk if this is just me screaming into the void, but I get to this place with my characters where like, especially if they are a little more morally gray or their decisions have negative impacts, I understand that I don't need the audience to like my main character. they can stand on their own, they can own up to what they do and they can grow from it. Thats what a good character does. That's how you keep your audience rooting for them. You gotta knock them over sometimes.

SJm doesn't knock Rhysand over. She doesn't push him to make mistakes, apologize, own up and move on. Rhysand has never made a decision that ended poorly for him. Everything goes the way he wants it to, because SJm wants us to know how cool and great he is. People who are cool and great don't make bad decisions! SJm doesn't let Rhysand fail, and she doesn't let him suffer his own decisions. Everyone else suffers his decisions, not him.

Rhysand's reputation as a good person hinges entirely on the audience liking him and/or thinking he's hot. And then what happens when the audience thinks neither of those things? Ya get a rly long post like this by a lil enby who is mad all the time. Rhysand loses all credibility when you look at him through a critical lens. Not a single thing the man does makes any goddamn sense. Here I thought acosf would give us a different perspective on Feysand and I was desperately hoping that Nesta would tell us what she really sees in them and how people around them really feel, I hoped that SjM would throw us for a loop and tell us that hey, she does know that Feysand are fucking toxic as hell and ruin the lives of people around them and she wants to show us that from an outside perspective but noooOoOOOoOoOOOO...

Instead we get Nesta hating herself because Rhysand told her that she shouldn't tell Feyre that Feyre could uh die in childbirth. Hey what the fuck.

Now I don't actually ship feylin, I kinda always sorta knew, even without spoilers, that it wasn't going to work out. Tamlin isn't sjm's idea of a good partner because he's not charming and witty and dark and handsome ya know? We met Rhysand and I knew that I was going to fucking hate this romance. Which sucks because I found Rhysand so intriguing in the first book. Ngl all the time spent in the spring court was kinda boring and every time Rhysand showed up to throw dead faeries at Tamlin I was like "oooooo" and I wanted to know more about why Tamlin, this awkward, blunt and kinda shy dude had beef with this super duper sly and shady man from another court.

I don't know if I've ever said this before, but SJm doesn't let her love interests grow. Rhysand doesn't change over the course of the story because he was already a good guy and his motives were for Feyre's sake I swear, the same goes for Rowan in TOG. SJm doesn't give Rhysand room to change. She needs to get to the part where they fuck make sure everyone knows that Rhysand is a good guy and actually he was good all along so that we like him more than Tamlin. It backtracks on everything bad Rhysand has ever done because you know... He had a good reason! It's fine!

I know it's probably just because SJm doesn't actually know how to write a good character growth arc but... Like can you imagine if Rhysand stayed the bad guy? Or at least remained the bad guy through acotar and acomaf? And then when Rhysand comes to take Feyre for his bargain it really was only to spite Tamlin? What about Rhysand, taking Feyre to the night court with him once a week every month for a long time, if only to see Tamlin's eyes grow darker and emptier every time he goes, and then he really starts to fall in love with Feyre. He's been a monster all this time, angry and cold and cruel and then he actually starts to fall in love. And then to get Feyre to stay he really does try to change, he stops antagonizing Feyre, he stops throwing dead faeries at Tamlin, and he stops harassing the Spring court. He starts spending genuine quality time with Feyre, he starts to learn about her and all the things she likes and he stops trying to get her to come with him just so Tamlin will be mad. He starts asking her to come with him because he wants to be around her and he prays that someday she'll want to be around him too. What if SJm let him grow.

But nahhhhhh instead we have a character who always knows the right answer to things, and he always knows how to fix every issue, and he is always so innovative and outside the box except that he isn't. We get a character who does the same shit as Tamlin but it's ok because he had a good reason not to tell Feyre that she could very well die in childbirth. Uhhhh don't know what that is but uhhh I know he has his reasons because all he has are his reasons.

It would be so easy to hold a mirror up to Rhysand and say "look at this. Look who you are. Do you not look just like Tamlin right now?"

But nooooooooOoOOOo Rhysand doesn't get to be wrong. Rhysand doesn't get to look like Tamlin because Tamlin is evil and Rhysand is definitely NOT I SWEAR.

But yeah I think the point I'm trying to make is that Sarah thinks so highly of Rhysand that he could never do wrong. He could never be like Tamlin, despite the narrative literally telling us the exact opposite.

Like you said, we lost the potential of what feylin could have been if SJm didn't suddenly decide that her audience needs to love Rhysand as much as she does. I think feylin could have been slow and sweet and a story of true healing and learning about one another. I think it would have been kind and steady and lots of "are you ok"s and "I'm sorry"s and "talk to me"s. Everything about Feysand feels rushed and hard and fast and the rest of the world doesn't have time to catch up. It's fucking exhausting to read it ya know what I'm saying.

(also can we talk about Rhysand like dying and Feyre finding the suriel and learning he's her mate and then instead of being like "k let's put a pin in that and fuckin save his life first" she like throws him around and everyone is like "wtf woman" and she's like I neeD tO Be alOnE these people have no idea how to prioritize)

Truly, I think it's innocent to a degree. There is absolutely no harm in wanting people to like your character. The harm comes when you destroy another character with no reason or explanation other than you want people to like a different character. Villain arc? Completely out of left field. You gotta build to that shit or like... Make it so that when you look back you slap your forehead and yell at a wall "OF FUCKING COURSE I SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT"

anyways, SJm treat "ugly" trauma with respect challenge SECONDED.

WELL IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME WEEKS YO WRITE IM HAVING A HARD TIME I know it probably doesn't make any sense I can't find my braincells BUT thanks for the ask @xelly

Tell me all your acotar things I love yo hear them !!

#rhysand #anti rhysand #anti sjm #anti acotar #anti inner circle #tamlin #lucien deserved better #they all deserved better frankly