#hate fucking is so alien to me lmao but i enjoyed it!

[marleysfinest]

nsfw! minors dni. cadet reiner x femreader. aged up to 21. cw: rough sex (consensual), degradation, blood

of all the days? of all the people?

you shrug off your jacket and wring out the excess water, coating the once-dry stone floor of the cave in a thin layer of rainwater.

"hey, watch it," he commands from behind you, "we're keeping dry here, remember?"

you shoot him a look of annoyance, and drape your coat over a lone boulder, hoping that it'd dry enough to be at least a little comfortable to wear back to the barracks.

ahead, the landscape has turned murky and grey as rainclouds unleash themselves with fury. the rain is so heavy it's almost impossible to see through it, and soon enough the grass is unable to soak it up quick enough. the only shelter for as far as you can see is this little cave, where you've both been forced to take refuge from the storm.

it had been a long day. the training exercise you'd embarked on had started off badly when you were partnered up with the man you detested the most. reiner fucking braun.

on the face of it, the task was simple; find your way to the outpost twenty miles away using a basic, barely-there map of the terrain. and indeed, it would've been simple, had both the weather not decided to take a turn, and had you decided to sheathe the map away for a while instead of keeping it in your hand for reference. had you done this, you wouldn't have dropped it when your horse got spooked by a rumble of thunder, it wouldn't have fallen into a puddle, and your horse wouldn't have stood on it. it was as good as useless, now.

"better hope this stops soon, we can't even get a fire going now. every bit of wood for miles will be soaked," he huffs, staring out at the rain with a scowl. every word is like nails on a chalkboard.

"yeah, alright," you retort, your voice heavy with annoyance, "you can save the I told you so bull for when we're back."

you turn away from him and perch on the boulder alongside your jacket. as you turn your gaze outside, you can feel his eyes on you, burning into you.

"you know I'm right though, don't you?" he asks, "we had the direction down for the next three miles. you didn't need to have the damned thing out, still."

you run your hands through your hair in exasperation. why did he always have to do this? to drive home his "expertise", brag about how he knew best, how it was his way, or the hard way? in a situation like this one, why did he still need to know that you agreed with him? against your best wishes, you bite your tongue, realising that if you were going to spend the next few hours with him until the rain stopped, it'd be better not to be at each other's throats the entire time. instead, you choose a somewhat dignified silence, and to your surprise he lets the argument go.

the time rolls by as you both sit in silence, staring at the rapidly flooding landscape outside, hoping and praying it'd stop, primarily to escape the awkward silence, never mind the prospect of spending the night in a freezing and damp cave. you stretch your legs out in front of you and shrug your shoulders to promote blood flow, and as you do so, you realise reiner is looking at you.

"what?" you ask, your voice carrying every bit of the hostile tone you'd intended. something about his expression was infuriating - was he smug?

"man, I really bother you, don't I?" he asks, crossing his arms and looking very pleased with himself. you scoff at his words.

"yes, you figured out my secret," you reply dryly. he's only more amused by your confirmation.

"what is it?" he asks, "come on, give me some specifics."

"why?" you retort, "you really want me to list the reasons I don't like you? here? now?"

"pretty clear request, I thought," he replies, the cockiness boiling over and breaking the last straw.

"alright - you're arrogant, you're cocky, you have this insufferable holier-than-thou attitude, acting like you're better than the rest of us despite the fact that we're all still cadets. you play this big brother card like you actually care, not like it's just a way to further your favour with the brass."

even you're surprised at what comes out, this pent up frustration over his very existence seeming to reach its peak. a look crosses his face that you can't decipher.

"hm. well, if it means anything, I don't like you all that much either," he replies, "this whole innocent, know-it-all facade you've got going on? it's kind of annoying."

you feel your cheeks flare red at his words. know-it-all? and innocent? what is that supposed to mean?

"come on, you look at the brass with these big, doe-eyes, lapping it all up and ignoring anyone trying to make a joke. you don't know how to have fun."

the disbelief must have been evident in your expression, because reiner's only grows more amused. you should have expected it, really, as he'd only invited the conversation, but that didn't mean it didn't sting. you push yourself up onto your feet, deciding that you'd had enough of the conversation if it meant that you're just going to be insulted.

"oh, come on!" he cries, "I've upset you?"

you try your best to ignore him, as you hear him get to his feet, too, and sense him stood behind you, keenly awaiting an answer.

"this is what I'm talking about," he continues, and you turn to look at him, "you don't know how to be light-hearted. you don't know how to have a good time."

the two of you stare at one another for a minute, and for the first time you notice the colour of his eyes. the rich, golden honey gaze staring back at you was almost pretty, if not for the fact that it belonged to him. his hair was still damp from the rainfall, his loose-fitting shirt still clinging in odd places as it dried, subtly defining his sculpted body. the sensations flaring in your stomach are deeply unfamiliar, with hatred and... was that lust? the two clashed together angrily, eliciting an alarming response. he was rubbing you up the wrong way. he was trying to get a rise out of you, and you want nothing more than to shut him up.

"that's a very uptight expression you've got there," he purrs, "y'know, sometimes when I'm upset, I like to..."

that's as far as you let him get before you reach out and grab him by the jaw.

"fine, braun. let me show you how I have a good time, and then we'll see how much you have to say for yourself."

you force his back against the cave wall and bring your bodies closer together, becoming increasingly aware of your heart thumping against your chest, and his growing erection against your thigh. good, you think, looks like he wants this, too. despite knowing he could throw you to the ground in a heartbeat, you maintain your forceful hold against him, and he lets you, as he looks down at you with an almost menacing expression. you release his jaw and allow your hand to explore his neck, his chest, his stomach, until you feel the strings of his trousers between your fingers. if you lingered long enough, you could start to feel his wetness begin to soak through.

"god, you're pathetic," you growl into his ear, "who's uptight now?"

a hefty sigh escapes him then, as the mood shifts.

"that's how you're gonna play it, huh?" he asks, but doesn't give you a chance to reply. before you can protest, he's batted your hands away and spun you round, marching you to the other side of the cave. he bends you over the boulder home to your drying uniform, scraping your elbows across the cold stone, and his grip on your shirt holding you firm between your shoulder blades. with his free hand he slips your trousers down with stunning ease, and soon he's pushing himself up against you.

"oh, you don't know how long I've thought about this," he purrs, and you can hear him removing his own trousers, "god knows you need it more than I do."

you scoff a laugh and feel a rush of dampness between your legs.

"yeah, right, braun," you retort, "I'll be the judge of that. if this lasts longer than ten seconds, colour me impressed."

he pushes the tip of his penis against your cunt as he considers his response. "I don't think you're in a position to continue being so arrogant."

with a firm thrust he enters you, forcing you to catch your breath. you feel him deeper than you expected, but he doesn't give you time to adjust before he's rutting into you with significant force. his grip on your hips tightens, making sure every inch of himself is inside of you with each thrust.

"look at that," he pants, "cunt's just as tight as you are."

against your best wishes, you find yourself unable to respond. he's so smooth, so hard that he's hitting the perfect spot every. single. time. you can't stop the whimpers escaping, but you're pleased to hear that neither can he. every moan you release seems to spur him on, forcing him to go quicker and quicker. you feel your elbows begin to bleed against the coarse rock beneath them, but you didn't care. the pain simply mixed with the pleasure into one mouth-watering cocktail.

you have to give him his due; reiner has stamina. the rain is starting to slow by the time you sense your climax building, and the way he's slowed his thrusts tell you that his is, too.

"what d'you say then, baby, you think we can be friends now?" he asks, his voice ragged. you huff a laugh.

"like hell," you spit back. he definitely likes your defiance of him, as his boisterous façade wavers slightly as he catches his breath and almost slows to a complete stop. not wishing to let the opportunity to pass you by, you push yourself up so that you're resting on your palms and begin setting your own rhythm, grinding against him, taking him slowly in and out.

"and you're gonna have to do a lot better to get to call me your baby."

this is his turning point. reiner grabs a fistful of your hair and resumes his hard thrusting, inching you closer and closer until you both come in unison. he throbs inside you for forever, and you feel the biggest mess start to leak between your legs. behind you, reiner pants heavily and release his hold on your thighs and hair. you turn your head so that your eyes meet, and you see that he's removed his shirt to offer to you.

"clean yourself up," he says quietly, "I'll just wear my jacket back. once we're back in the barracks I'll show you why I deserve to call you baby, you little bitch."

#paradis reiner said: #this was FUN #hate fucking is so alien to me lmao but i enjoyed it! #reiner x reader #reiner x y/n #reiner x yn #reiner braun #reiner smut #aot fanfic #aot smut

[sinning-23]

My Latest crush is an alien car from space

SO this is the quick 1-3part fanfic I wrote in reference to the little post I made about mirage a couple days ago! Only a couple things changed and the stuff mentioned in the post prior will come up in later parts (here's the link to that if you didn't see it)

Okay so let’s just push all the events of the movie…now lmao I use a lot of current terms that would t have been used in the 80’s so let’s just keep everything the same…accepts it’s 2020-2023 yeah? Great! Fantastic! Uhhh enjoy shawty!

(heres the link to pt2 hotties <3)

Intro/Pt.1

Hot girl summer postponed 

“How am I supposed to do hoodrat things with my friends if you won’t fix this already!” You whine, resting your hip against the side of the beat-up Porsche. The paint was chipped and scraped, the seats were old and dusty and the oils it leaked stained the garage floor and the damn hood wouldn’t close. 

In short, it was kinda shitty. And a stick shift? Who the fuck drove the stick anymore?

Your dad only dusts his hands in his pants and sighs. It’s his fault for spoiling you rotten that you’d beg for a car now, and it was also his fault for promising it in the first place. 

“First of all, there will be no hoochie mama floozy business in my house.” You roll your eyes at the outdated term and shoot back with a reply.

“That’s fine! I said hoodrat anyway!” 

He interrupts you, pinching the bridge of his nose, great hair practically springing out his head. 

“NONE of that either. Tell you what, if you can apply for two more apartments it’s yours. 

You throw your hands up.

“Dad, what?! You know I hate being alone and you’re getting old! You’re gonna need a caretaker.” You reply with a bit of sarcasm and he raised a brow and the not-so-subtle insult.

“I’m not a senior citizen y/n. Just do it.” He replies back, ending the conversation with a peck to your forehead. 

“Not with the way your knees popped earlier!” You call back as he closes the door on you. 

You groan, pushing off the car you were leaning against and tabbing the roof, an audible ‘thunk’ sounding. 

“Soon shawty, you’ll be taking me shopping and clubbing in no time.” You chide, fingers dancing on the slightly lifted hood before you exit.

And before the garage light shut off, the Porsche purred, engine smoking. 

____4 months____

It was go time. You’d applied for about 3 more apartments just to appease and overachieve for your father. And on top of that, your girls decided that it was finally time to get you absolutely shit-faced in late honor and celebration of your graduating med school! The only problem was the mode of transportation.

Most of the girls weren’t going to be able to get you and an Uber wasn’t really what you wanted considering there was a perfectly good Porsche sitting in the garage collecting dust. According to dear old dad, he’d already tried time and time again to fix the damn thing but it wasn’t budging, every screw being too tight and every wire seeming to short hit it under his touch. It seems like no use. 

“Are you serious? I kept my end of the bargain.” You groan, rolling your eyes at the inconvenience 

You’d dad shrugs, throwing the dirty, oiled-up towel over his shoulder. 

“Unless you want to try, I  suggest you find another means of transportation.” He suggests, leaving you and the busted car alone. 

You sigh heavily letting your girls know a reschedule may be on the rise. You pull your French curl braid half up with your alligator clip and lift the hood, the engine was seemingly new, and the design seared into it looked a bit creepy. After brushing your fingers over the symbol, you tighten the hood screws to test if it’d close and sure enough, the problem solved ...kinda.

 You still weren't sure this thing started up. That was the main issue. You sigh, pulling the driver seat open and plotting down, dust making you fan your face and try to blow the particles away. The same symbol from before was engraved into the wheel and you brush over it again. 

“What a funky-looking symbol. I'm sure nothing a little sparkle won't fix, looks cool tho. Like an alien car thing? Wouldn't that be so silly?” You think out loud, looking in the back seat to see a tattered bomber jacket with silver and blue. Maybe it belonged to the previous owner?

You gasp when the driver's seat scoots forward, keeping you from reaching the jacket. Your chest pressed to the wheel making the horn honk. Gasping you throw your shaky hands up and swallow hard. 

“What the fuck…” You whisper out, eyeballing the symbol once again, trying to sneakily reach for the door to make an escape. 

It locks, The radio and lights inside flashing off and on as the engine revved filling the garage with smoke and the sound of your panicked screams. 

You try and pull the door open but fail again and when the radio buzzes to life you're met with a single song. Taylor Swift was amongst the madness just moments ago.

You need to calm down

You're being too loud 

You managed to throw yourself out of the car and scatter back into the house, coughing up the smoke that had still lingered from before. What the hell was that? So maybe it was an alien car. What was meant to become of your hot girl summer? Were you doomed to figure out this possessed car on your own? Exorcise it mayhaps? You stumble up the stairs and pull out your phone. Evidence that's what you needed, evidence. 

You stumble back down the stairs, Snapchat fully functional and ready to catch any evidence, and you'd be damned if you didn't go viral without a filter. 

Swinging the garage door open you point your camera to the dormant Porche. You're more so angry that you were so scared and you were NOT about to let some poltergeist punk you in the comfort of your own home. 

“Yeahhhh motherfucker where all that noise now? HUH? Flash some lights now bitch!” You yell, feeling only slightly insane talking to the inanimate object. 

You were met with silence, circling the vehicle with the flash on. Now narration of the prior events, you try to open the driver door only for it to lock. Oh this mf was playing with you. You yell in a fit of rage, smacking the hood. 

The car revs and honks at you, the door swinging open to hit your backside, making you trip. 

“HA! I GOT YOUR ASS ON CAMERA!” You yelp, camera rolling the entire time. Your breaths are raged but soon become hollow when the car starts to……change.

Your camera hand is shaking and parts of the car begin to shift into legs…waist...torso…arms…. Breath is caught in your throat as the damn near 10 ft tall figure standing before you with its hand in a more so ‘what gives’ position. 

“You are so aggressive, lil mama! What’s the deal?” It speaks, and before you could muster a response, your eyelids shut, and your brain powers down. 

Its eyes widen at your unconscious state and it sighs. 

“All that talk and she faints. Great.” 

____________

A breeze hits your face, the sound of traffic slowing to a haunt as does whatever you’re traveling in. It’s a bit easier to breathe now, but your breath is still shallow and your head is somewhat aching. What even happened before this? You were messing with the car and it was..possessed? No no, it was. 

You shoot up, head hitting the ceiling. In a panic you try and tug at the seatbelt and escape this demon car, breath bringing to pick up again. 

The voice from before speaks over the radio 

“Whoa whoa ok calm down I’m just taking you to a friend of mine! I’ll explain everything calm down.” 

And surprisingly enough, you do just that. In hindsight, if this thing wanted to kill you it probably would have done it already. You click the seatbelt off, crawling to the front seat. You take a deep breath, manicured fingers ghosting over the wheels before finally gripping it and tracing the symbol again. 

“O-Okay. I’m terrified right now. I’m in hella far from my house I’m assuming-“ You’re cut off by the voice again. 

“You’d assume correctly.” It speaks 

You blink your hand and take another breath. Lil shit had personality. Nod in defeat. 

“So…you’re an alien…but also like…a robot? What are you? And why are you a car? And why are you BLUE?” You question, calming down enough to exit the car and wait for a response from the culprit. 

It transforms again before your eyes, and you finally have a chance to examine him more. Instead of being afraid and shocked now, you’re more so intrigued. Curiosity engulfs your mind as you ponder its biology. Sure finishing med school required you to know the human body, but the anatomy of an alien and more mecha was intriguing. 

You circle it, a newfound confidence flooding you as it tried to explain itself.  Manicured fingers can’t help but reach out and touch the smooth-looking metal, the once dusty and scraped not nonexistent over his exterior. Perhaps that was a part of its species' biology, some sort of camouflage. You trace over the license place which appeared to look like more of a tramp stamp given his current transformed state. It reads, ‘MIRAG3’ and you can't help but let your hands wander around and underneath it. It twitched at the sudden touch, arching away from where your hands had touched in protest. 

“Can you stop poking around!” It yips, shooing you back. 

You scoff rolling your eyes, still observing. This was definitely a scientific breakthrough. No wonder it’s been hidden in its car disguise, you were sure there were plenty of people that wanted to dissect and use it for maybe not-so-good reasons. 

“So, do you have a name? Is it Mirage? I can’t keep calling you it in my head, feels rude.” You question, finally taking in its full frame. 

It gasps in fake hurt, placing the back of its, hand. Against its forehead? Damn, you needed to learn its anatomy so this would be less of a guessing game. 

“Call me Mirage doll.” He flirts, jutting his fist out to seal some sort of camaraderie. 

Reluctantly accepting, your plush fist touched his metal one, the metal warmer than you initially expected. Was there more of him? Why was he purposefully blowing his cover? Maybe he was just not as well thought out as the others if there were others. 

“Here come inside you should meet everyone else, Noah can explain this better to you too,” Mirage explains, scooting your forebears into the large storage facility as your shoes drag against gravel. 

Noah? Like the one that worked at your dad's shop sometimes? Like the one that sold the car in the first place? Your brows furrow hoping that maybe it was a different Noah considering how damn big Brooklyn seemed. The chances of that were slim though with the given information. 

Sure enough, walking into the facility was that same Noah, about to speak to Mirage but paused when he realized you were there, and…not panicking? You squint, arms folded over your chest. This mf had a lot of explaining to do and fast. 

“Noahhh, wanna tell me why you sold me and my father an ALIEN AUTOMOBILE?” You tell, poking your finger to his chest as he throws his hands up in defense. Time to explain and quickly.

____________

To say you were exhausted was an understatement. Your calves are killing you due to being practically kidnapped before your outing and now your head was throbbing over how much information it just revived. According to Noah, Mr. I sell alien cars here for himself into this mess because he tried to steal Mirage out of a parking lot way back when for a quick cash grab. There was this whole fight with some bad guys? Yeah someone called Unicorn? Unicron! Right, and he was gonna like blow up the world or something but he’s gone now…temporarily-

The point is, you didn’t need aliens right now you needed a margarita and some music to shake your ass too but NONE of that was happening any time soon. 

“So, feel like your brains gonna explode?” Mirage jokes, sitting against the wall of the facility and you nod, now sort of comfortable with the idea of, we’ll him in general.

 It’s not like you weren’t into conspiracy theories and whatnot, but for something like this to ACTUALLY be real was beyond you. You sigh and run your hands down your face, more upset you missed your one night out more than anything. And it was getting late, and that early shift you picked up definitely was gonna be a no-go if you didn’t get to bed soon. 

“This had been fun truly, but I need to get back home because I actually have a job and not one that involves OUTTERSPACE CAR PEOPLE.” You groan, seeing Mirage stand and get ready to go back to his, auto mode? 

Note to self, learn the terminology sooner rather than later. 

_________

It’s about 4am when you finally make it home, the car ride silent for the most part. Mirage had decided you’d had quite enough excitement for the night and just needed a lil tote quiet, but not before teasing you a bit about missing out on your ‘hot girl hood rat’ activities. 

You sigh once he parks, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, still too high off adrenaline to sleep. Maybe now was a good time to ask about that anatomy part? Getting the car your somewhat befriended sounded like a nice suggestion until sleep creeps up on you. 

Of course, sensing your curiosity, mirage transforms and lays in front of you, resting on his stomach while he kicks his feet. 

“Whatcha thinkin' abouttt?” He asks, more sing-songy than anything. 

“I want to study you actually, your anatomy, I’m sure it’s much different to a human but similar in the important areas.” You hypothesize, seeing his eyes widen. 

“Important areas? Damn girl we just met.” He teases, making you shake your head. 

“Not what I meant- I mean inside!” You respond back as a boyish grin crawls over his gestures 

“You’ve been inside too. Wow and you didn’t even take me to dinner first!” He jokes again, more so enjoying your reaction. 

It was going to be a longggg night and looking at it, a long day too.

#x reader #reader is black #i don't care he's hot #transformers #mirage #transformers rise of the beasts #mirage transformers #it’s just #i just think hes neat #hes so hot #fine i’ll do it myself #i need him #mirage x you #mirage x reader #mirage smut #rise of the beasts #rotb mirage #tf rotb #transformers mirage #thirsty over metal men #hes just soooooo

[aphroditesbaby1616]

Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 2

♡ Summary: Carmy & Syd go horseback riding!!! Carmy's therapy friends push him to go for what he wants, his 'light at the end of the tunnel'

♡ W/C: 6,534

♡ Posted Date: 04/07/2024

♡ A/N: Hayoooo!!! I am too inspired... this has become a multi-chap fic hahaha I am havin' so much fun here!! Thank you @gingergofastboatsmojito for inspiring me to keep going!!! ILY! As per usual please know - this fic was inspired by THIS FIC here - Tucson by the GLORIOUS GINGER!!!! Go read that before you even THINK about reading this fic ok?! I love how I hate storer for the same reasons but im a sucker for writing a slowburn - I find myself screaming at MYSELF internally "make them kiss already!!!!" but they will KISSSS SHORTLY SO SHORTLY MY DEARSSSS !!! It will be a JUICY TAYLOR SWIFT DAYLIGHT ASS KISS OK!!!! THEY WILL ONLY SEE EACHOTHER FROM THEN ON!!!! Its gonna be a 'and I can still see it all in my mind all of you all of me intertwined I USED TO THINK LOVE WOULD BE BLACK AND WHITE BUT ITS GOLDENNNNNNN. We need Carmy to realize a few more things but then - he will be hozier level devoted to this woman even more then he already is, I hope you enjoy!!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Not really any? Like? LOL - Swearing?! Smoking cigarettes?! They just went horseback riding & carmy went to therapy- oh Ig talks of carmy getting hard LMAO but thats as crazy as we get this chapter. ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

Stardust nudges his shoulder so hard he almost falls over, and he turns to look at her. His heart jumped into his throat, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. She was there, she was really there. 

“Uh-” he blinked a few times, to be sure that she wouldn’t disappear. “Syd? Hey..uh-” he felt his entire body buzzing with excitement. He couldn’t help the smile that took over his features. She looked… gorgeous. Carmen wasn’t sure there actually was a word in any human language ever to exist that could describe just how wonderful she looked. 

Her hair was in its natural state, she was wearing an adorable corduroy jacket, black jeans, and white sneakers. “You came to a farm…in those?” he motions to her shoes. 

She laughs a bit “Wow- it’s great to see you too, Carm. Didn’t realize you were…actually like living on a farm” she approached him carefully. 

“Shit- yes- fuck- It’s its so good to see you, Syd, C’mere” he pulls her into a tight, long hug. The smell of her lavender vanilla perfume nearly made him melt. 

“You’re like…tan- and…muscley now” She laughs a bit, squeezing his arm lightly. 

“Uh..” he pulled away, cheeks bright red. “Yeah uh.. It's like- fuckin hard t’ride a horse. And the um…” he rubbed his neck nervously “The uh cows.. They eat hay? Most the time, and so we need to move the bales during the morning for em, they’re like…. 75? 80 pounds? So moving like 10 back and forth every day helps. And I dont really.. Go inside? Here? Its like… uh.. Thats the therapy mostly, the animals- at least f’me” he said sheepishly. 

She nodded, looking around the stable. “That one behind you is yours? Shes been side-eying me creepily since I started talking” she pointed to Stardust. 

“Oh! Fuck sorry yea, well- no…not- not mine- I got ‘er t’trust me. But uh, yeah this is Stardust. She’s a super sweet girl” He explained. Stardust leaned in, sniffing Syds hair carefully. 

“Cute- All you’re missing is a hat” She teased.

He chuckled a bit,  “Ok, c’mon - why are you here, Syd” He said with a small smile, crossing his arms over his chest.

She shrugged, looking at the ground and kicking a rock out of the way with her shoe. “Cause…I was worried- I dunno…” She definitely wasn't going to get bold and tell him that she’d missed him, terribly.

“Ok…well now that y’here, and y’see i’m okay…wanna have some fun?” He asked, a small smile on his lips.

Syd looked back up at him, as if he had 3 heads. “Okay- Where is Carmen Berzatto- Not his… Weird alien clone- Camren Brazota” she said, laughing a bit “what do you mean fun?” She asked, and Carmy laughed, real, and genuine. 

“Well- If I didn’t change my view a little I’d never leave. So, yes, Syd, ‘a little fun never hurt noone’ - per my therapist. Shes fuckin annoying. I much prefer the horses.” He pet Star’s mane and she leaned into his touch.

“Holy shit” Syd laughed a bit. “Wow- alright. I feel like you’re a whole new man already, what kind of fun?” she mused. 

“Ever ridden a horse?” he walked over to the saddle rack, pulling off a double seated one and hanging it over the back of the stall door. 

“No- Actually, Don’t I need um…like - stuff for it?” she asked. 

“Oh don’t think I wont give you the full experience” he opened the riding closet, “Whats your shoe size?” he asked, crouching down and looking through the pairs of extras. 

“8? Er- 9 probably 9” she said. He dug through them until he found a matching pair.

“These should do, y’stuff is cool here we can just leave it in her stall” he told her, holding out his arm for her to hold while she switched her shoes.

“You seem like…” she said as she slipped off her sneaker and put on the boot. “I dunno…chill- well- i wont go that far- but chill-er then before.” Carm snorted a laugh, holding on to her arm to steady her. 

“Thanks? I guess..that’s good right?” He asked. 

“Yeah! Yeah of course…I mean, it’s nice. To see you not so…anxious.” She said, slipping the other boot on. 

“Yeah I um…” he cleared his throat, opening the stall door. “I uh..I’m takin meds- Now? Uh..all this shit. Y’know they have me like tranquilized more then these guys” he said and she laughs, Carmen smiled proudly at the fact, relishing in the wonderful sound. 

“But yeah like Like 3 er..er 4. they say I had all this uh..mental shit. Goin’ on w’me and that’s why I was all…wound up I guess” he explained, calling Star out and getting her harness situated. 

Syd caught herself staring at his arms as he worked, how the toned muscle moved beneath the fabric of the shirt. 

“Aren’t you freezing?” She asked, noticing he wasn’t wearing a jacket like she was. 

“Used to it now, well- I mean the moving around. It gets hot this shit is heavy. Wanna try to hold the saddle?” He asked, unhooking the saddle from the stall door where he’d left it momentarily. 

“It can’t be that bad” she countered. 

“I think this thing weighs probably as much as you do.” He said “hold out your arms” he smiled a bit. 

She lifted her arms out in front of her and he plops the saddle down, she had to plant one of her feet forward so she didn’t fall face first due to the sudden weight and he laughed, catching the saddle quickly and baring most the weight. 

“Told you” he teased. 

She rolled her eyes “yeah whatever. Saddle up the horse, cowboy” she dropped the saddle back in his arms. He hurled the saddle over Stars back with a grunt. 

“Fuckin hell” he huffed, realizing since the saddle was nearly double the weight as his usual, and being on the shorter end- he couldn’t just get it on her when she was standing straight. “Bow” he told the horse and she just stared at Sydney. 

“Don’t embarrass me, Star. Bow” he told her and she looked the other way. 

“So uhhh…this one’s trained, huh?” Sydney teased. 

Carmen looked back at her “mmhmm maybe she doesn’t like strangers” he said, walking over to the other side. 

“Since she’s bein difficult y’gonna have T’help. C’mere” he waved her over and she followed. “So when I push it up, just grab the saddle pad and make sure it doesn’t move, yea?” He asked. 

“The fuck is a saddle pad, dude- I know my way around a kitchen not a fuckin horse stable.” She looked at the many different layers the horse was already wearing. 

“Alright. So this,” he lifted the cloth, “is her blanket. Keeps her core warm. And beneath it” he pats the pad “this is her saddle pad, it makes it more comfortable. So our bones aren’t like..diggin in her back and shit. Also shock, when she jumps the foam of it helps our weight disperse. The saddle is so big and heavy I can’t keep the pad still at the same time, so just hold it f’me,” he took her hand, guiding it to where he wanted her to hold. 

She felt her heartbeat quicken, his hands were so large and calloused on top of her own. She nodded wordlessly, keeping her eyes trained on where she was meant to be holding and focusing on keeping it steady as he went back around and carefully lifted up the heavy saddle with a grunt, laying it over the horses back. 

“Jesus- how much can this thing carry” Syd asked. 

“Well she is a mare, she weighs about…mmm- 1900? She can comfortably hold about 400 pounds for a decent distance but she can’t do that for hours and hours at a time. We together can’t be more then 300, and her gear is less then 100 pounds. Were just goin f’r a quick ride, I gotta get to therapy at 3” he explained as he buckled on her saddle. 

“Ah. So you’ve been memorizing horse information instead of creating recipes? I figured when I got here you’d have gone nuts by now without being in a kitchen so long” she gently touched the horses mane as she spoke. 

“Maybe. Well…I am kinda goin crazy? But I can’t…let it out?” He chuckled a bit “does that make sense? Nights are a little hard before my sleep meds kick in but that just says I haven’t done enough that day” he got up. “So y’gettin up first since I’m sittin in back” he explained. 

“Oh…uh- ok how do I?” She asked looking up at the at least 7 foot tall animal. 

“Y’not gonna be able to do it alone. C’mere” he told her. She comes over and looks at him. 

“How the fuck do you do this?” She looked up at the saddle that was at the top of her head before looking back at him. 

“So-“ he snorts a laugh at her wide confused expression. “She’s not gonna like you trying to roll up on her back, and I don’t want you t’get thrown off, she can be moody with new people. I almost broke my shoulder my first time trying to ride her” he said and she crossed her arms slightly. 

“So how. How do I get up there?” She asked. He pulled out a step stool, setting it next to the horse and getting up on the third step. 

“I’m giving you a lift. Arms up” he said with a playful smirk. 

“No- no way- Carmen that’s too high. You’ll drop me!!” She took a step back, feeling slightly nervous. 

“I won’t because I’ll bribe her Syd. C’mere” he pulled a pack of peep marshmallows out of his pocket and the horse nearly starts dancing. 

“Carm- what the fuck is happening?” She asked and Carmy chuckled. 

“Bow. Cmon Syd wants t’ride. Bow and you’ll get y’treat star.” He told the horse. 

It obediently bowed down and before Syd could process what was happening, Carm was scooping her up beneath her arms Syd squealed in surprise. “Oh my GOD WHY ARE YOU PICKING ME UP!” She shrieked, wiggling in his arms. 

“open y’legs! Cmon! she’s gonna get up!!!” Carmen laughed holding her up higher. Syd finally obeyed and he gently plopped her on the first saddle. “Good girl” he told the horse, feeding her the marshmallow and putting the packet in his pocket again before swiftly getting on behind Syd. 

“Alright. Hard part done.” He reached around her waist, and she lifted her arms slightly. 

“What- can you tell me what’s going on? I’m a horse virgin!” She said, and they both went quiet for a moment, before cracking up laughing. Syd leaned to her left slightly as she tried catching her breath, grabbing the rein for stability and tugging. 

Star took off sprinting, Syd screamed in surprise, her body going tight with fear. Carmen quickly wrapped his arms around Syds waist protectively, tugging on the reigns “WOOOOAH!” He called to Star and she quickly came to a stop. 

“Stand.” He told the horse firmly. 

“What the fuck Carm I thought she was trained!” Syd exclaimed, gripping onto his forearms for dear life. 

“I gotchu, you think I’d let her kick you off?” He tightened his arms around her. Carmen swore his heart was thumping so hard that she felt it on her shoulder blade. 

“Also when she moves it’s hard to keep still.” She said nervously. 

“Don’t worry, I gotchu, Syd. Lean into me, if our weight is centered then it’ll be easier for all 3 of us” he gently pushed at her stomach. 

She leaned back into his broad chest, “see” he said softly. He was lucky the angle didn’t allow for her to see him, because his face was bright red, And having her body pressed against his…was making him flush somewhere else too. 

He clicked his tongue and Stardust started walking again, at an easy comfortable trot. “This…is ok.” She said, much more comfortable now. 

“I’m gonna take you t’one of my favorite spots.” He said, pulling on the reins to the left lightly so she would follow the left trail. 

“Wow, already sharing secret spots huh? I think this therapist may just be Doctor of the year I don’t even think I’ve seen your favorite Chicago spots” she teased. 

Carm laughed a bit, he felt so much lighter with Syd around. And life had been lighter ever since he got here. 

“How is…uh- how is it back home?” He cleared his throat lightly. It was something that had being weighing on him. Yes, he was here, he was doing the thing. He was making Sugar happy. He was making Syd happy…but he would go back, at some point. 

And his biggest fear was things will just go right back. He won’t have this outlet, he won’t have sunset rides with Stardust to ease his mind. He won’t have the cows happily running up to him and greeting him when he was the first one to bring out a bale of hay. He felt like if he was here, he may have the confidence to tell Syd how he feels. But back home? It was another life. 

“Fine..things are..y’know. The usual shit. But nothing bad, no one’s getting locked in any freezers if that’s what you mean” she said playfully. 

Carm rolled his eyes with a light smile. “Mmhmm. So the restaurant is-“ 

“Is fine.” She said. “I’d have told you. You know that.” She said and he nodded a bit. 

“I know she scared you back there…but it’s pretty fun to go fast. You wanna try?” He asked. 

She shifted a bit uncomfortably, her hands tightening around his arms that were holding the reins around her waist. “Uhh…maybe? Are you sure we won’t fall off?” She questioned. 

“I’m sure. Here you can be the one to control it. Start light ok? With your legs.” He gently ran his hands down her thighs to right below her knees “here” he said softly, squeezing the flesh gently so she wouldn’t have to lean and look. “With that part of your legs, give her a little squeeze. But really light, or we’ll take out of here like a bat out of hell” he held around her waist again, securely holding the reins. 

“Mmhmm” she said, she was beginning to feel hot- and not because she’d done any hard work in regards to getting the horse ready. 

“Alright. Whenever you’re ready, you’re the boss” he said the last part softly in her ear. If it wasn’t for her jacket, he would see the goosebumps that had risen on her arms. She nodded quickly, staring straight ahead and trying to maintain her composure. 

“So I just?” She squeezed gently and the horse picks up her speed slightly. “Oh…ok” she said. 

“Told y’she was trained” Carmy teased and she rolls her eyes. 

“Mmm you’ve done a very good job, bribing this horse with peeps. The staff know you do this?” She asked. Carmy snorted a laugh

“No. But she’s healthy. Made sure. She only gets one or 2 if she doesn’t listen.” He admitted. 

She shook her head with a smile. “And how’d you find this out, Carm?” She leaned into him once more. 

“I…” he laughed a bit, his chest vibrating with the movement and it made her heart warm. 

“I uh…spent a few days in the library here. Reading up. After she threw me off. It’s all about trust with em. So I never lied to ‘er and I’ve never done something she didn’t expect because I always try to warn her.” He said, pulling her reigns a bit tighter. 

“This is like a joyride Syd cmon, I said fast not an evening stroll.” He teased. 

“Fine. Mister horse master- show me what Miss Stardust can do.” She said. 

With 2 kisses and a quick tap of his heel, they were off like a rocket. He held Syd steady, being sure she wouldn’t have to do most the work of holding herself center as he gripped each reign with the opposite hand, holding them taught so Star knew to keep going. 

Syd laughed, the wind flicking her dark curls all around. He wished she could see her amused expression. “Holy shit this is the best!” She shouted over the loud thuds of Stars hoofbeats. 

“I know right! Can you believe she can go faster?” He said, holding his knees taut around her hips to keep her from sliding. 

“Okay we are not! This is fine!” She said and sat up a bit “are we going into the-” She asks as Star begins to barrel through a creek, the freezing water spraying up and around them getting them slightly wet, the freezing water splashing from their calves up to their cheeks.. “CARMY!” She screams through laughter. 

He could barely catch his breath as he laughed so hard his stomach and ribs ached. “I’m sorry!! Syd! Oh god-“ he chuckled “woah girl- woah” he called to the course and she slowed down once again to a stop. 

“Fuck-“ Carmen chuckled “you okay?” He asked, picking a wet leaf from her jacket and throwing it to the forest floor. 

“Yeah- I’m.. I’m fine. That was really fun actually. C’mon I wanna see the spot” she said and took it upon herself to tug the reins so Star would take off again

“Shi-it!” He quickly finds his balance, “warn me!! Oh god I almost flew off!!” He told her. 

“You think I’d let her throw you off?” She mimics him from earlier and he takes the chance to playfully pinch her waist 

“Yes because who’s in back and who’s in front?” He wrapped his arms around her again, taking the reins from her grasp. “Your reign privileges have been revoked for this riding lesson, Ms.Adamu”  

She laughed a bit “I’ll earn them back. Don’t worry” she mused. 

“Mmm we need to talk about more shit before I just literally hand the reins over. Coulda spooked her and we’d be fuckin dead.” he angled the outside reigns so she’d slow down as they came to the clearing. 

“Here we are” he hopped off, raising his arms to help her down. 

She carefully reached out for him and he lifted her off, gently setting her down. “Holy fuck Carmy” she turned around, watching the waterfall cascade down over the rocks. 

“Right! Told you. It’s a fire spot” he went over to one of the rocks he usually sat at, plopping down and taking out a cigarette. “Oh- shit- can’t have y’running off” he told Stardust and chuckled, leaving the cigarette between his lips as he walked over to her, guiding her over to the tree, and hooking her right rein around a branch before sitting back down. 

“Yeah…I can’t remember the last time I went somewhere so…” she trailed off, looking at all the trees and running water. 

“Green?” Carmy lit his cigarette, taking a drag. “Not packed with smog? Somewhere that doesn’t smell like shit.” He said as he exhaled. 

“…yeah” she said and laughed a bit. “Yeah. Guess that’s it.” She came and sat next to him. “What did you mean about her getting scared?” She asked curiously. 

“Oh- a scared horse will fucking kill you. Not on purpose, but they’re big and pure muscle, and will do anything to get away from danger. I scared the shit out of her one time, that was it. Dislocated my shoulder 8th day here. Doing that hurts like a bitch by the way.” He rolled his shoulder gently. 

“How’d you manage that? God I knew you were shit at chatting up girls but she dislocated your shoulder?” She teased. 

He rolled his eyes with a playful smile, taking another drag. “Yes, I was fuckin around on the trail, dunno why- but there was this branch sticking out so I grabbed it, it snapped, she fuckin reeeared dude. I flew back so hard. My back might still be bruised I’m not sure. Still hurts a little to laugh” he said. 

“You better have seen a doctor” she said. 

“Ohhh silly Syd.” He sighed, a puff of smoke filling the air in front of him. “We aren’t allowed to refuse treatment here. If you get hurt, and you refuse to get help, it’s considered self harm, which leads to them believing you have suicidal ideation, which leads to you being locked in the actual nuthouse. So yes. I willingly went to the doctor daily for a week. And now, I’m being checked on once a week. So yeah. Oh and therapy daily. And every day I’m given my meds and someone checks over ‘pre-existing injuries’ which that is now considered. So yeah. I’m good. I’m fuckin fine as fine can be.” He said. 

“Awww poor little chef, being taken care of so well that’s so hard isn’t it?” She teased and he gives her a playful glare, but couldn’t help but crack a smile when he realized she was smiling too. 

“I was being taken care of fine at home by myself but you and my sister just had to ship me off after one tiny accident” he leaned back on his hand, taking another drag of his cigarette. 

“It stops becoming an accident when you didn’t care, Carm. You didn’t care. It didn’t phase you. You weren’t even…you weren’t even scared. Just because you didn’t do it on purpose doesn’t mean you did the sane thing which would have been doing everything you could to not let something like that happen.” She said, her tone suddenly serious. 

He looked down at his lap, swallowing thickly. He suddenly felt all of the armor he’d spent the last 31 days chipping at, slowly start to meld back together and shell him back in at the shame the whole situation was making him feel. 

“I have nightmares…you know. About it. What happened” she said quietly, and he could physically feel his heart ripping open. 

The only sound between them was the bubbling stream, and the sounds of their even breaths. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, gaze fixed on his lap knowing he would burst into tears at the admission she’d been so deeply plagued by something he’d done, if he had looked at her.

“I know” was all she said, gently resting her hand on top of his. He felt the same fireworks exploding in his chest that he only ever felt when she was around. 

“Do you um…” he clears his throat and shook his head, embarrassed by the question plaguing his mind. “Never mind it’s..it’s stupid.” He removed his hand, putting his cigarette in it and resting the hand opposite of her on the rock. 

“That usually means it’s not stupid. What?” She coaxed, bumping his knee with hers gently. 

“It’s stupid” he said again, shrugging his shoulders. 

“It can’t be stupider then asking me what UPS means” She said playfully. He rolled his eyes, smiling and looking over at her. 

“And what if it is?” He questioned. 

“I would be..worried they’re giving you a bad concoction of meds that’s turning your glorious chef brain in to Swiss cheese” she teased 

He snorts a laugh. “I was gonna ask..if you wanted to cook..t’night. My cabin…it uh- has a kitchen? I haven’t cooked in a month. They give us food so I haven’t really bothered but…seeing you makes me miss it more, I guess” he blushed, looking back down at his lap. 

“Well obviously. Not gonna let you eat whatever bullshit they’ve been giving you while I’m around.” She said and he shook his head, meeting her gaze once more with a playful smirk. 

“Maybe you should check in. My therapist says it’s bad apparently to feel ‘responsible for others’ - says it’s a ‘subconscious self harming behavior’ “ he teased. 

She smiled a bit. “Okay- say I do. How about, I check in now, we shoot the shit for what- eleven more days- then, you go back home- and see how stressful it is in that restaurant when one of your hands is basically missing” she plucked the cigarette bud he’d forgotten about from between his fingers before it burnt him, flicking it into the creek. 

“You know that’s the first time I’ve seen you smoke- other then…me like checking on you when you were about to explode at work. But you’ve never…pulled one out and smoked it I guess” she said, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her cheek on her forearm as she looked at him. 

“Oh…” he said, pulling one of his legs up and resting his arm on it. “Didn’t realize you noticed” he said, brushing some dirt off his jeans. 

“I notice a lot of stupid shit about you, it’s kinda annoying honestly.” She said without thinking, her eyes widening when she realized and she looked the other way, resting her other cheek on her knee and squeezing her eyes shut. 

Why would you ever say that?! She asked herself internally. 

“Oh?” He said again, smiling a bit. “You do?” He questions, but that was as far as he’d push. 

“Mhm” was all she responded. Carmys phone started buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out in case it was one of the ‘base keepers’ they called them. Carmy rather call them babysitters. He knew what they were for, being sure if they were out of sight too long they were making sure they could still get ahold of them. 

He sighed in relief when he saw it was just his 2:40 alarm. “Gotta go” he stood up, offering his hand to Syd. “Like- now. Or my ass is getting chewed out.” 

The ride back to the cabins was mostly silent. He had no stool this time, so he had to pick up Syd essentially by the ass and gently place her on Stars back so she didn’t get spooked. 

He was embarassed as fuck that the tiny action had the crotch region of his jeans tightening more then was casually explainable. Thank god no one was around to see him awkwardly hop in the way of his semi hard third leg down his left pant leg, grunting but covering it with a dry cough when she settled her ass back into him to ‘center their gravity’ 

Syd absolutely felt the firmness pressing into her ass. She thought it was a bit funny, but also brushed it off to the strange friction that came with riding a horse. She couldn’t allow herself to fully believe his teenage like excitement was due to her, or she’d go insane. 

Carmy dropped Syd off at his cabin, giving her the key and telling her he’d put up Stardust and be back by 5, she would be blushing if it weren’t for her mahogany complexion at the domesticity of it all - er what she could imagine domesticity with Carmy would feel like. 

Her panties were also soaked through from the feeling of his enormous length pressed into the curve of her ass - the entire way back - but she just chalked that up to not getting laid for a few months, and misreading his natural arousal for him being horny- she quickly pushed the thought down and just chalked it up to the horse. Because guys get hard when they ride horses…right? Right?!

Carmen arrived to therapy extremely frustrated, and extremely ready to talk. He sat down in his regular spot in the back, tapping his knee nervously and covering his crotch with his hands. Luckily, thinking about his mother was enough to make him soft nearly instantly so he had that to thank her for at least. 

“Alright guys!” Julienne, the usual Friday therapist came in, sitting in her spot in the circle. “Who is up today! We are-“ she looks at her iPad “oh! Yes this is another OP class, so- no pressure but, I wanna hear what’s goin on!” She crossed her legs. 

Julie was far from his favorite therapist, at Blue Lotus. But he wasn’t his least favorite. So he would still talk. He cleared his throat, raising his hand slightly. 

“Carmy?! What a treat! Okay what’s up” she grabbed her little stylus pencil. He bit the inside of his lip nervously. He despised how casual she tried to make this all feel. 

“Uh…so- my um…business partner, she came to see me. I guess I haven’t been…keeping touch? Enough? She just said she was worried…” he cleared his throat again, gaze fixed on his lap. “And uh…I’m startin’ t’-t’realize stuff?” He sniffled nervously, rubbing his mouth with slightly clammy, nervous hands. 

“She uh..” he chuckled a bit. “She…she just…showed up. Didn’t hear shit from ‘er. She probably knew that I’d uh…I’d tell ‘er no?” He finally meets the gaze of Julie. 

“Okay. You know guests are allowed right? Like- during the visiting hours, 6am to 11pm, no fraternizing between patients but-“ Carmen cuts her off

“We aren’t - no. Not fraternizing” He shook his head. “But uh…today? We were- we were sitting. This spot, near uh, Jupiter point? On the north side. And I had this- this urge T-to tell her…everything.” He shook his head, looking at the floor again. 

“So…you wanted to tell her you love her?” Jesse, one of the guys he’d had lunch with a few times piped up. 

“T’be honest, I don’t know.” Carmen said honestly, looking at him. 

“Well what does it feel like?” Jesse asked, sitting up a bit. 

“What? Like- what does what feel like?” Carmen asked curiously. 

“Her. Being with her. Talking to her? Inside. Like. Your chest. Your skin?” He questioned. 

“Uh…” Carmen sat back, swallowing thickly and crossing his arms over his chest. He thought for a moment. 

“Hot. I get hot. All over. My chest feels tight but - but good? Like- a hug almost. And then…when she…” he blushed, looking down with a shy smile. “When she touches me” he shook his head slightly. “When she touches me it’s like um.. fireworks? Like fireworks beneath my skin.” He chuckled a bit at how cheesy it sounded. 

“And you haven’t fucking nailed her?” Jessie asked plainly. 

Carmen furrowed his brows, glaring at him. “No” he clenched his jaw “I haven’t.” He snips. 

“Dude- you are- pussy whipped with no pussy?! You- you love her, Carmen. You love this chick. I feel like I’m looking in a weird straight mirror - the first time-“ he laughed a bit “the first time I kissed a guy- god. He was so hot. But I had no idea! I had no idea. I really thought that I was just-“ he shook his head “that I was just wanting to befriend him? Or something? But like- I wanted to fuck him. And when I did kiss him? Something unlocked in my brain dude. It was like…like a whole new world. I felt like I knew - I knew what love could feel like? Just ‘cause of that one kiss “ he shrugged. 

Carmen looked at him, arms crossed, trying to absorb everything he was saying even though every fiber of his former self was screaming to take it with nothing more than a grain of salt. 

“Kiss her dude. Kiss her.” Jesse said and sat back in his chair. 

“Well. Although, consensual sexual instances are against the code of conduct to discuss - I am very proud to see you two coming out of your shells. Has anyone else felt… confused in their romantic endeavors and would like to share?” Julie asked. 

Carmen crossed his arms tighter, looking down at his lap. This was quite unusual for him, he was one of the patients to only add what he had to to be credited during inpatient, and during outpatient - only spoke when he really and honestly had to. 

“Uh-“ the super tall girl, Shayna sits up. Carmen was never really sure why she was here. She looked…perfect by all means. Perfect skin, perfect nails, pretty face, long blonde hair, a perfect body by girl standards. Or at least what Carmen had understood of them.

 “Not really the same.. but before I came out? I like…I would uh buy…girl clothes. That I liked. For my girlfriends at the time…” she blushed “and um.. I realized after a while that I liked them. And I wasn’t just..wanting to see my girlfriend in them. And like- it’s not the exact same, but when he said… about how Jesse realized he wanted the guy. That’s how I felt when I finally tried the clothes on” she shrugged. 

Carmen was…aghast. He just simply stared at her. He’d never met- or thought-  he’d ever met a trans person before today. But…Shayna? 

Well- he was wrong because he had met her, they actually knew each other fairly well as far as patients go, she joined the program when he did. When they first met, she’d made a joke about how they were the tallest girl and shortest guy in the class, so that meant they were bound to be friends, since opposites attract - and that earned a chuckle out of him before his meds had even fully evened out. 

“I love the cis-and-confused look- it’s cute” she said and laughed a bit. Carmen blushed, smiling a bit. 

“Not confused- well, maybe. Maybe a little. Y’Just so…dainty? I dunno..” he shrugged. 

“In case you haven’t noticed- mr.little man syndrome- you’re only one out with the cows doing the hay on time in the morning. Ninty percent of the group is your version of dainty ” Jesse teased. 

“Jesse” Julie gives him the look. “I’d assume that means- the rest of you that aren’t out helping with the bales- are scraping out the cow pens? Since Carmen is doing all the hard work according to you.” 

“I’m not girl- fuck no! The second I got out of inpatient house arrest? I walked my happy ass down to Walmart and bought me some blackout curtains. I recommend those to all of you! Oh my god and some ear plugs!! The stupid fucking roosters! Worst 15 days of my lifeee! I’m never coming back here peace and love to you all though. Truly. Can’t stand this cow shit stank ass place.”  Shayna said dramatically, causing Carmen to chuckle a bit.

 He had loved her boldness since they’d met. If Shayna didn’t want to do something- she wasn’t doing it. He learned that the day the staff tried to force her on anti-depressants. One of the main therapists got a Wellbutrin straight to the eye, they never attempted that battle the same way again. 

“We know Shayna you aren’t shoveling scat, princesses don’t do that” Jesse mocked her valley girl tone. 

“Okay! Okay. Alriiiight! Back on track- done with the bickering!” Julie said. “Now that open call is over let’s move on to breakthroughs. This issss-“ she looks at her iPad “ah- yes! D group. So. That makes it-“ he checks her watch “ah- right. 11 days! How are your light tunnel projects going?” She questioned. 

Carmen’s chest tightened, but not in the Syd is smiling or he made Syd laugh way- in the - I haven't done something I was meant to do way. 

The Light Tunnel project wasn’t hard. It was simply one thing you have done that you had wanted to do when you came into the program. And Carmy knew what his answer was, 

Admit how he felt to Sydney. 

Or, as his Therapist- Mandy told him ‘become more truthful with yourself and those you know about how you feel’ because “counting on someone to like him back would put him at square one” he had pretended to understand, but knew that he had to tell her and soon - or he was going to really go insane. 

“ my light tunnel was to talk to my asshole father- but lucky for me I just caught wind the motherfucker finally died thank god. So by default I win and don’t have to be here anymore cause his abandonment was what fucked me up anyhow“ Shayna said jokingly, causing Carm to snort a laugh. He knew she was only joking about the leaving early part, not the father part. Her father was an even bigger piece of shit then Carmen’s was, he had come to learn.

“Mmm that isn’t how it works we know that Shayna. We’ll talk more about this in one to one “ Julie told her and Shayna crossed her long legs, looking out the window. 

The last 20 minutes of the session Carmen sat silently, looking out the opposite window to Shayna, watching the horses running around in the field before they got called in for dinner and just spacing out, thinking about what he may say to Syd. 

“Yo - Carm space cadet” Shayna said before kicking his boot he jumped a bit, looking up at them both and had realized the room since had cleared and Julie was preparing for her next session. 

“Shit.” He said “how long have I been like…like that?” He asked, his cheeks feeling hot. 

“It’s the OCD meds. They get you stuck in a happy thought loop sometimes. Are you just gonna sit here? You wanna do another hour of this with sniveling group a? They got here three days ago.” Jesse said. Carm shook his head, getting up. 

“No- no sorry” he said starting with them outside. Shayna laughed a bit 

“You were thinking of screwing that business partner aren’t you. “ she said, causing Carmys cheeks to go pinker. 

“Shayna shut up!” Jesse scolded, pushing her shoulder lightly. 

“Awwww carmyyy are your feelings hurt little buddy? Do you need a hug? Jesus men are such pussys” she pushed open the doors of the therapy cabin for them. 

“Let me see pictures of this hot chick. If you don’t fuck her I will and I bet I’d do a better job” Shayna teased as they started heading back towards the cabins. 

Carmen couldn’t even process what she said as he felt his breath get caught in his chest, he saw her. She was sitting on the porch of his cabin, criss-cross in one of the rocking chairs as she writes in her notebook. He couldn’t help but stop and stare at the way the setting sun hit her bronze skin, her curls casting intricate patterned shadows on the wood. He felt his heart pick up, his chest squeezing in that way, the way that only happened when he saw her. 

Shayna and Jesse stopped after a few moments when they realized Carm had gotten stuck behind. They both follow his gaze carefully to see what he was so fixed on, like a trance. 

“Holy fuuuck!!! Holy fuck how did I get this lucky!! She’s here? She’s here still?!” Shana asked excitedly, “oh my god- you’re getting laid- tonight” she excitedly skips up to the cabin and Syd looks up, locking eyes with her before seeing Carmen just a few paces behind.  “I’m Shayna! Do you and Carm wanna hang out with us tonight?”

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡

#sydcarmy #syd x carmy #syd x carmen #sydney x carmy #sydney x carmen #carmen x sydney #carmy x sydney #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto fluff #the bear fx #the bear fic #the bear hulu #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto fanfiction #the bear #carmy berzatto fanfiction #the bear fanfiction #carmen berzatto smut #sydcarmy for life #sydcarmy fanfic #sydcarmy fanfiction #sydcarmy fic #sydney x carmen fic #sydxcarmy fanfiction

[loaksbitch]

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ☆ .. important !

REGARDING ATWOW CHARACTERS !! (updated ver.)

i’m gonna be a bitch cause i’m very upset with hate anons.

alright so i’ve seen this go here and there for a bit now with many avatar writers and readers.

question: why do you, almost all nsfw blogs age up minor characters from avatar (lo’ak, neteyam, an’oung, rotxo+ more) when they’re literal children?

answer: well good question actually, but you missed something though. “they’re literally children but fictional”, i will repeat they are fictional and do not exist. now, i know y’all are gonna go ‘fictional or not, it’s not right.’ but love, not only they’re fictional but they’re 9ft BLUE KINKY ALIENS! mind you that their time there is so slow and they age very slow which makes them adult right when they’re 15. so please keep your hating cult away from me and other writers or i won’t hesitate to bite back on your tongue.

also, accusing us by saying what we write is pedophilia is just so funny because you are not even doing anything for the real pedophilia in this real fucking world! it just doesn’t make sense when i even think about it lmao. i’m pretty sure the hate anons are literally bombarding us with hate when they low-key sneak into the anime fandom that ships 15 years old with 535+ years old characters to read and enjoy.

nobody, like NO ONE, is forcing you to interact with my blog. it’s sketchy and sus when i actually think about how you ended up in my account. so just please hold your rude ass comments to yourself cause i ain’t the one. you can simply block the hashtags with the ‘*characters name* smut’ or even block us nsfw writers. i won’t hesitate to call any haters out if they’re gonna be minx and mean. thank you for reading my ted talk lmfao.

and for those who support me and give endless love, i love each and every one of you sm!! **mwah !

#jake sully #avatar 2 #atwow #avatar #avatar smut #avatar the way of water #jake sully smut #lo’ak #neteyam #netyiri #avatar 2009 #avatar: the way of water #fanfiction #help #james cameron #kiri #loaksbitch #lo’ak’s bitch #mica’s blog #neteyam smut #rant #rules #navigation and rules #please just fuck off

[lamaenthel]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thank you for tagging me @ahsokathegray !!<3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25! 

2. What's your total A03 word count?

231k lmaoooo when did that happen I feel like I've been in a fugue state since February

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars (and technically, TECHNICALLY The Matrix but it's a Star Wars AU fusion lmao)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Porg Eyes, Princess For A Year, Ram'ser'ika, Better Than Nothing, The Contingency

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes every single one omfg I love everyone

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well, Soft Dark Nothing is Ahsoka and Rex on the moon right after The Tribunal crashed so by default it's gotta be her (rip Jesse my beloved)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Not Bad ends up with Snips n Skyguy going to Biscuit Baron lmao

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet but I live in fear every day especially since I'm dipping my toe in the Republic Commandos pond and I know the girlies are passionate

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do and it's ridiculously graphic HAHAHA no but there's a reason I haven't posted any Rexsoka smut. Makin y'all wait for it until they COMMIT, gotta keep that tension in there somewhere uwu. But wlw, mlw, mlm, aliens and cyborgs gonna work their way in there eventually (?) I have Not Out Loud, which is an mlm fic with Boba tying up Cal and facefucking him (Kesett nation rise)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Go Ask Ahsoka is the Matrix crossover that I wrote for AU August which I will eventually update lmfao

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No but I would cry

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not like… technically but Erika is my beta and my bestie and she comes up with amazing ideas and lets me play with her OCs so honestly she counts (ilu)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Rexsoka 💙🧡, closely followed by Anidala (burning down the galaxy for a single person is objectively WRONG but also hot)

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Well Do Not Go Gentle is a huge fucking project that I HOPE I finish one day

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at action. I enjoy it which helps lmao

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I get really ahead of myself laying out hints and red herrings which I then forget about (Princess For A Year especially is the worst about this, I am so sorry for all of those hints about Sylen being a pretend Mandalorian I fucked up so bad with that one but I'm going to rewrite it eventually to bring back a bunch of my dropped subplots)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I enjoy it and do so regularly. Mando'a nuhur'shya ni ru'kar'tayli. And it makes my brain work in unexpected ways, it's like a puzzle trying to figure out the wacky ass baby's-first-conlang grammar that is Karen's creation (what the fuck kind of language doesn't have a passive voice)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

OKAY OKAY TECHNICALLY, TECHNICALLY????? It was the Lion King. I was in first grade and we had to write a little storybook and illustrate the pages they gave us with crayons and my story was How Simba Lost His Mane lmfaoooo

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I have poured my whole heart, soul, brain, and pussy into Tivaevae pls read it it's longer than The Hobbit

no pressure tags: @soliloquy-of-nemo, @tangledlichen, @ink-in-books, @hannah-schooler

#tag game #LOOK MA I DO ACTUALY REMEMBERED TO DO ONE OF THESE #rexsoka #kesett #my writing

[ferniliciousness]

7 snippets 7 people

I was tagged by the absolutely amazing @omniblades-and-stars Now, I'm not sure I have 7 snippets, or even 7 people to tag 😅Its been a rough year so far so I haven't had much motivation in writing but I will do my best. Completly stress free tags. (I'm mostly just showing love lmao. I know not everyone draws or writes) @nowandthane ❤ (Esmea teaser) @milkywayes @lag-train @zenstrike @lilmissnatcat24

Queen of Chaos (Esmea) "you know, as much as I... Huh... Loved watching you... Ugh... Fall and make a fool of yourself, you could have at least waited till we weren't about to die." Esmea had known turians were heavy, but she hadn't expected to learn firsthand just how hard it was to lift one. "God, I need to start going to the gym." Her small 125-pound frame was no match to even get the dazed alien sitting upright, let alone somehow manage to drag him over to her car. She quietly panted for breath, looking up at the building behind them. Garrus had barely made it 20 feet before passing out, idiot probably had a concussion. I have no idea what this is The wards were dark tonight, dark and quiet, with most of the level already settled in for the night. One of the perks of Garrus' apartment complex, it was almost always still, a rare sight on the Citadel. Garrus had insisted they all just stay put for the night, no use leaving when it's this late and they're all tired. Chellick sat at the end of the couch, squished up next to the arm rest, trying to make as much room for Esmea as possible in the tiny apartment. But it was a losing battle especially when Esmea sat with her legs folded underneath her. Resting her head in one hand and her arm on the back of the couch she shifted her weight towards Garrus who sat at the other end. It was a tight fit but after the month they all had no one seemed to mind, not even Chellick when Esmeas foot grazed his leg. He didn't even so much as raise a brow plate when her head went to rest on Garrus' shoulder.

Bloody Sunshine Pain. Sharp pain, red and hot beats at her skull. Weary eyes open to a blurry landscape that looks no different than the pain inside her skull. Fire and ash, mixed with scents of sulfur and smoke. But worse were the memories, or lack of them. Her head throbbed even as she simply tried to recall how she came here. Her vision blurred once more, pulsing red around her eyes, beating on her bones. A mindflayer, a worm, distorted, fractured, and then no more. Nothing else lived in her brain but the pain, and, is that her name? Zeerith. Is that who she was?

When I Die Will You Be My Valentine? Maybe... Maybe if I was different... maybe if I hadn't been born this way... Maybe if my mind hadn't been torn up by my own emotions... By this curse of blue that runs through my veins and burns through my brain. But what use are maybes. Maybe's don't change anything. Not that I want to change, it's far too late for that. I enjoy the games I play, I enjoy the way I am, and I hate all the same. It's because of the way that I am that you will forever be out of reach. Your bright blue eyes and your awkward charms. The mystery that is your mind, will always remain a mystery, because this game has gone on for too long. You make me.... Want to be better. You make me want to change. When I'm with you I believe that maybe, just maybe, I can actually be what you need. That we can actually be happy. That somehow we can make whatever the fuck this is work out. But then, I see you in your uniform, and I'm afraid. Afraid that one day that uniform will be staring back at me through the sights of my pistol, afraid that your blue blood will be coating my knife, or my next contract will have your name... The name I want to have.

#mass effect #shakarian #garrus #garrus vakarian #bg3 #fanfic #esmea #zeerith #tag game

[mermaidsirennikita]

Begging you for fated mates romances. The immortals after dark drought is killing me

Lol it's ruuuuffff. I'm excited for Rok's novella in March because he's just so fun, but I reeeeally hope she gets Kosmina's book out on schedule this year. (Lothaire literally just losing her remains one of the funniest things in the series to me. And her being this adorable angel princess and his inner monologue going "That's nice. I'm still sending your ass to Louisiana" simply because she's the Sandy to his Rizzo I guess??)

I genuinely want Kosmina's book, for one thing. For another, I NEED. KRISTOFF. AND FURIE'S. BOOK. And a book for Heath MacRieve: Werepire At Large, plsthx. You can't deploy a werepire without giving him someone to FUCK. You can't give me the brother of noted fuck machines Lachlain and Garreth MacRieve without giving me the ACTION.

Anyway, try:

Ice Planet Barbarians by Ruby Dixon. These are obviously like. As RIDIC as you've heard. They are also. DELIGHTFUL! Just broads landing on planet Blue Big Dick (CW: there are bad aliens in the first book and they do rape women largely offpage) and putting these weird little worms in their chests to live and the warms going "la la la" and then the big blue alien men having worms that go "tra la la" and when your worms sing to each other you gotta FUCK and be together forever like it or not??? He'll die for you and your worm???? Listen, I read like 6 in a row last year and then I had to stop and pretty soon I'm gonna read some fucking more.

Favorites include: Barbarian Alien (#2, heroine is all "Jesus Christ I hate this alien guy" and he's all "OMG IT'S HER" and kidnaps her away to his cave, as you do, which is controversial because he's from a noted line of kidnappers and the other aliens are all D: about it but then she teaches him how to fuck, should mention that most of these aliens are hardcore virgins), Barbarian Mine (#4, everyone who reads this is gonna think differently of me because the hero is like Ice Planet Tarzan because he grew up in the wastelands all alone and his dad died when he was young so he didn't even really learn how to talk like an alien, and he doesn't even VAGUELY know what sex is, and she has to.... teach him things........... the heart wants what it wants okay) and Barbarian's Mate (#6, the one where the heroine had an IUD the whole time so her chest worm wasn't working and then her IUD falls out and her chest worm is all "LA LA LA" at the most annoying, dickish alien's chest worm and they're both like "OH FUCK NO" but then they go on adventure together, and it's soooo good)

The Winter King by C.L. Wilson--Fun fact, the arranged marriage fantasy romance I keep recommending is actually a fated mates book! The hero isn't just Elsa But Hot Man, he's also descended from wolves, so he can SCENT her, and when he scents her for the first time it's actually quite aggressive and his friend is present and goes "buddy, please stop touching her nipple this seems like a crime". It's the mating bond!!!

The Sea King by C.L. Wilson--Next book in the series, goes fated mates even harder because the hero is a merman Aquaman type from a matriarchal kingdom who was trained in the seductive arts and meets the heroine and KNOWS lol. And he's determined to wife her up. CW: sexual assault, not from the hero.

Slave to Sensation by Nalini Singh--I've only read the first two books in this series, but they're good, and they're all following the fated mate format. This one is about a heroine who's from like this Vulcan sort of psychic mind freak society, and her fated mate turns out to be a verrrrrry earthy shapeshifter guy who's like "welp. Sadly it's her".

Laura Thalassa's Four Horsemen series has a very fated mate vibe. It's not explicitly stated, but all of the four horsemen basically get thrown off once they meet Her and then their entire game is ruined lmao. The series has some things.... I find.... Less than great. But I remember really enjoying Pestilence and Death, War and Famine are foggier to me.

The Fake Mate by Lana Ferguson is omegaverse but make it a contemporary romcom. Full fated mates shit. He makes her call him alpha while he's plowing her in the woods. They live in a better society.

#romance novel blogging #romance novels #book recs

[victimized-martyr]

20 & 28? i love all ur takes on kyman so so much!!!

These questions are a blast! I'm just happy y'all give me the chance to ramble abt them ghfs so thankssss

20. Do Stan and Kenny (and Butters) approve of this relationship?

Kenny canonically keeps most of his opinions to himself, and likes to watch from a distance. He’d approach Kyman in the same way, watching them unfold with a morbid curiosity, dishing his legendary advice only when he feels he absolutely must. Does that make him a dick? Probably. But, what else would you expect from Eric Cartman’s best friend?  

Butters on the other hand, is super vocal in his approval. The moment Cartman announces he’s with Kyle, its streams of "Congratulations, Eric!” and “Shoot, anyone could see this comin’ a mile away!" and “Don’t go breakin’ Kyle’s heart, Eric. He’ll fuck you up nine ways to Sunday if you do :D” 

And then there’s Stan. 

Kyle. and Cartman. Cartman and Kyle. Together….Would he approve? Well, he wouldn’t know. This indecision isn't the result of slow observation; he sensed something between Cartman and Kyle before they realized they had feelings for one another. It’s that Stan hates change, and he's anxious to think how the relationship will permanently affect the group, the one thing in Stan's life that’s endured all of South Park’s shittiness. Would things change for the better? Or worse? There’s so many ways Cartman and Kyle could fail and make things awkward in the group. Or, what if they get so engrossed with each other that they left him behind? That he disintegrates into white noise, losing his best friend? Cartman’s the only person capable of bringing out emotions no one else could with Kyle, so will he become the best or worst version of himself? It’s all too much. He needs a lot of time to process it. 

 More than anyone else, Kyle seeks Stan’s approval in his decisions, and has often come to him to rant about Cartman. Usually, he’d get a blunt response that refocuses him, if he ever gets a response at all. This time, he needs a prompt response, and Kyle’s patience is infamously thin. Kyle is already wracked with anxiety about whether being with Cartman is the “right” thing to do. Seeing Stan close in on himself once hearing the news sends Kyle’s paranoia thru the roof lmao. 

This is a whole ass fic askin to be written (am i not writing one already HILKDJGHLI), but essentially, Stan and Kyle would have a fallout before Stan reaches a conclusion on Kyman. Stan would probably say something he’d regret and be all moody and emotional for a while. Then he’ll get bitch slapped some sense into him by Wendy, or Kenny, or hell, maybe Cartman (because “Darsh, I can’t properly make out with mah boo cause he’s too busy PMS’ing over his butfucking-boyfriend. So cut the shit out already. "). He’s forced to realize that he should still be there for his best friend, whether he ends up approving of the relationship or not. Yes, Kyle wants his approval, but he also wants his super best friend more. (stg this is Kenny Dies all over again. Hoe runs away to deal with his own emotions before being there for others. When will he learn lol)

Stan’s wary for a majority of the relationship. But he’s there for Kyle. He’ll always be there. 

28. controversial opinion on kyman?

It has less to do with Kyman and more to do with tropes. I'm so SO tired of Party at Tolkien's House as the catalyst for Kyman. ;-; it's just, too easy to write, and it's even easier to fall into the trappings of "kiss as the only romantic awakening" and teen angst. Honestly? The kids probably wouldn't be able to enjoy themselves, bc the adults suck, and it's south park, so they end up crashing the party. And then aliens get involved, bc shit like that happens. Kyle and Cartman are feelin each other up and wanna seal the deal in the closet~? Well they can't. Randy's in there playin 7 minutes in heaven with a monkey and lo and behold, is the reason we have monkeypox declared as a health emergency.

#asks #kyman #south park #eric cartman #kyle broflovski #it's 5 am and I typed in 'Eric Broflovski' and was like 'why isnt his tag comin up' HKGFSHGS i need to sleep #I'm just bitter @ the trope hgkfd but I've read some truly good shit that uses that trope anyways #idk at this point im like do we HAVE to have a party at tolkiens? isnt there any other way for kyman to get together??

[daywoutmoon]

RITSU SHOULD BE IN THE ALIEN HUNTING a silly analysis (?)

Before starting I just wanted to say that: This post is for the most part a joke! While I really would love have more Ritsu in this arc for all the reasons in this post, this is not really a serious critique or anything like "oh this arc sucked cause of little Ritsu screentime" lol. I do enjoy that arc as it is, the only part I really hate is the fucking Inukawa omakes (that I will not mention again in this post), aside of that very cool arc.

Also a warning: This contains spoilers for the entire season 3,ok?!

Anyway let's go gamers!!!

1. HE WANTED TO GO BRO.

Now if you are anime-only or read the manga but forgor let me explain why he didn't go: The Shiratori brothers say they're leaving after Takenaka accept join the alien hunting, and then-

(BY THE WAY INUKAWA JUST LIKE "OK THANKS BYE" CIGJFDIXJSI NOT EVEN TRYING LIKE "OH NO YOU GUYS CAN STAY" LMAO)

So as we can see... Ritsu was interested in joining in or... I mean what else could be ? Does he wanted to stay not because he wanted to join the fun but just like...idk... see Tome reaction to the news cause he would love some gossip and drama? I don't think so. ALTHOUGH IT IS FUNNY THAT THEY ONLY FOUND TELEPATHS CAUSE RITSU WAS JUST STANDING THERE LISTENING MOB TALK WITH HIS FRIENDS,AND THEN HE LIKE "OH I KNOW SOME". So maybe he truly just want the gossip who knows lol. But I'm more willing to bet he wanted to check out the alien thing.

2.BUT SPEAKING OF TOME AND RITSU

we been so so robbed. like so robbed. Tome and Ritsu interactions... Are very little. We technically had one non-canon one. And when I mean non-canon is because was in this omake that Ritsu killed One.

So all things considered I don't think Tome calling out how Ritsu was out of the plot at that moment followed by him killing One is canon, but... The point is she just gets there and calling him creppy. Just beating him down,judging him... And we don't have more interactions between them? BULLSHIT, I WANT MORE OF IT.

We do have another interaction that was in the last chapter/episode with Ritsu and Tome gossiping about Mob life,what is great content!!! Also is it me or this post is slowing turning into Ritsu gossip propaganda? Anyway glad to see at least a little of interaction in canon.

But I wanted more of them in canon,wahh. Lot's of people point out how Tome is like mini Reigen sometimes but I don't think Ritsu would have lot of beef with her cause she is not like being a big fraud like Reigen you know? Big part of Ritsu issues with Reigen is the whole lying to and using his brother, not being loud. And while we are at those two-

3.RITSU AND REIGEN BONDING

now. I say bonding cause both would have a very common thing in this trip: they have nothing to do with it. So like while Tome is complaining and being salty they both would be like 🧍 🧍 and I think that had lot of comedic potential. AND RITSU BEING ABLE TO THROW SHADE IN REIGEN DRIVING SKILLS??!?!

4.the rest of the club i guess lol

I talked about Tome and Reigen but honestly I would enjoy more interactions with the other telephaty club members with Ritsu lol

5.AND MOB OPSS

Now I said this post was mostly a joke, but not totally a joke and in one point is just like... Again I would love more Ritsu lol, but other point is when it comes with Mob and Ritsu I do think maybe would be more interesting for the plot if Ritsu was in this trip!

I'm not the most passionate over this arc,I adore it, I just never been intensely plagued with thoughts about this arc in specific, but over the time I did read some analysis there and there about it, and when the arc was adapted there was even more analysis of it. And seeing people observations I can see the importance of the arc not only to be a breathe between two intense arcs, but also to see the growth of Mob. Obvious there is even more to it, but focusing on Mob in this arc is like... He takes initiative, even the telepathy club members are impressed by him and he doing his best to help his friends. And he likes... Choose to use his powers?! And even convinces Takenaka to use his powers too.

And like. RITSU WAS THERE W HILE MOB SAID ALL THAT,WHAT I THINK IT IS VERY IMPORTANT. But like...What Ritsu missed was seeing Mob there, really exausthing himself with powers and all but not like...Over some big battle or anything like before but. Just for something "stupid". Something silly. And like, post finale I have no doubts that they will have many opportunities to share moments using psychic powers in a more mundane way, just like Mob used before The Accident. But I still wonder how it would be in the story if Ritsu had seen this, because in the confession arc there is an "out of nowhere" moment: That being Ritsu being the first to conclude that ???/Shigeo and Mob are the same.

Now I say out of nowhere, but I think that's kinda unfair. Rather is more unclear, what is not a bad thing, people can come up with their own interpretations and stuff. Like this can be just the result of lot of self reflection, it doesn't need have a clear A-HA EUREKA moment.

There is also how in the manga it goes like this the moment he says it:

And in my own interpretation one of the biggest things made he realize this is just another part of his brother is he seeing how ??? still just want to give flowers to his crush.

In the anime too part of this realization happened before he even saw Mob, so it does not work out but like. Personally I love the anime as much as the manga,but speaking about Confession arc in specific I LOVE THE MANGA VERSION 10 TIMES MORE AND I HAVE 89839895 NITPICKS WITH THE ANIME VERSION SO… Ok Ritsu concludes that this was a opressed part before coming face to face with Mob,ok. So I feel in that version is even more unclear.

But with all this in mind I wonder if that conclusion would work better with Ritsu seeing Mob use his powers to the max in a non life threatening situation. And… I have no idea. Maybe it would, or maybe it would ocupy too much of the alien arc. Maybe it would make less compelling if was super clear. I do not have a definitive answer. Idk if One didnt included Ritsu in the trip for a big reason or if he just didnt want him in and then made Shiratori brothers throw shade to Ritsu leave lol.

But. I do ask for you consider a what if. What if Ritsu was there ?~~

#MP100 #mp100 analysis #mp100 spoilers #dayse falando #idk what else to tag lol huh this is very silly idk how to make posts but i do have so many thoughts and i want share even if #its formated a lil weirdly lol #i like how the post is basically ´he should been there cause it would be funnier to me and i love more characters interacting` #and ritsu fofoqueiro i guess lol #huh anyway yeah yoo hooo

[w3ath3r-0f-sw34t3rz]

as many ttpd thoughts as i can coherently write down

first of all grateful for the folklore x midnights x 1989/rep sound we have going on here. i hate comparing artists but seriously the best way i can explain it is phoebe bridgers this album sounds like phoebe bridgers. not like it's a bad thing it's phoebe fucking bridgers!!!

i feel like it's so easy to call music "intimate," whether because of lyrics that feel personal or just a certain raw sound, or whatever else, but this album truly is the most intimate thing i think taylor's ever given us. i don't know what sets it apart, cuz at this point she's written plenty of deeply personal lyrics, but the way i best know how to describe it is that it truly feels like she trusts us.

anyway i'm willing to admit that this album isn't a spectacle or a revolution or game changer, and i know it won't satisfy everyone (ngl i'm scared to see what everyone else is saying bc they'll never understand Like I Do) but damn it sometimes that much is more than enough. without further adieu

fortnight a solid vibe. i'd literally love any song with the lyric "i love you it's ruining my life"

ttpd love that lucy and jack cameo that's about it. but really who else is gonna hold you

mbobhft AUGGGHHH THAT HOOK. you'd think you'd be able to tell which tracks are entirely self-written but you'd never guess some of the best tracks would you? jokes on me. love the metaphor (as i tend to do), big fan of infantilizing men (no like actually)

down bad this song was not clicking at first but it won me over with the alien abduction theme

so long london aw fuck yeah i knew i was right to claim this one. that hook is delectable. every verse is like a juicy kiss on the mouth i love this song yOU SWORE THAT YOU LOVED ME BUT WHERE WERE THE CLU

but daddy i love him this was the point where i thought to myself "wow this album is a lot more romantic than i would've thought" which, in hindsight, idk if that can be the consensus but still--this is such a feel good happy lovely time

fresh out the slammer evermore would love this one. yee haw

florida i mean there was really no way for this song to be bad and damn. twas not. this is a screamer fs. how on earth they managed to make a song about fucking florida feel like this mysterious shady world that we the people are not apart of is astounding to me

guilty as sin yas girl let your freak flag fly!!! successor to false god fr

who's afraid of little old me oh. o,h my god. taylor. taylor r u good honey. this song is fucking batshit wild oh my god YES GIRL TELL EM i will never be the same i could end the california drought with these tear ducks holy shit im gonna go set something on fire

i can fix him i love this bc this is literally my best friend and now they're gonna know how they look. that "woah maybe i can't" both absolutely slaps and is hilarious. also love how horny that bridge was yas girl let your freak flag fly!!

loml oh god. lmao my ass rlly thought this album wasn't gonna be too depressing. they had me in the first half ngl. i'm not crying you're crying nahhh we're both crying and you know it. the lyrics here really popped off, like more than the rest of the album and that's saying something. bonus i remember seeing someone theorize that it was actually gonna be "loss of my life" instead of love, and while i was listening i had that in the back of my mind, but then i was like "ok no it's actually love" but then THEY WERE RIGHT and i felt so accomplished for no good reason. so if ur that person who called it, good job brother

i can do it with a broken heart this one shocks me so good oml why is this making me wanna throw it back. with all do respect if you didn't want us to enjoy your suffering why did you make your suffering such a bop. /j that "i'm miserable and nobody knows!! :D" gives me chills but like in a good way. "try and come for my job" literally get it queen i love you

smallest man who ever lived it's quite funny to me that literally nobody was claiming this track and then it permanently altered my brain chemistry. back at it with the hooks damn. wow this one really. this one is really sticking with me guys

the alchemy yay the vibes are back!!!! sweet simple romance you gotta love it

clara bow you had me at that intro. shove that guitar down my throat if u will. this is the better version of the lucky one (im not sorry.) damn "you look like Taylor Swift in this light" gets me every time i'm sorry that will never not hit

the black dog OLD HABITS DIE SCREAAAAAMMMIIINNNNNGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG i did not expect to like this one as much as i do but i can't stop thinking about it

imgonnagetyouback i had really mixed feelings but i literally can't dislike this song it's straight up good (also this song is so gorgeous-coded its wild)

the albatross idk i just love this one it is so sweet to me. in the way molasses is sweet but still

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus this melody has wriggled its way into the few folds of my brain and i don't see it leaving soon. i love me some good whimsy. fr as i'm listening to it again rn i'm realizing how good this production is. anyways bi rights

how did it end? you know................... i was really trying to not tie her real life into any of these songs, since i really don't know that much lore + i'm not a big fan of obsessing over celebrities personal lives--relationships most of all (especially when it comes to taylor)--in general, but damn i immediately did just that with this song and.. wow. but aside from all of that oh my god welcome back to Songs On This Album That Absolutely Haunt Me

so high school this one's kinda crazy bc damn it's such a taylor swift song but the sound is so new to her and it kind of makes me cry. but anyhow "touch me while your bros play grand theft auto" is the funniest fucking line i have ever heard in my life

i hate it here oh wow hahhahahhahahahha taylor what the fuck :3 imagine relating to this song on an cosmic level lmfaooooo

thank you aimee removing from irl context, putting this song next to mean genuinely makes me want to cry. like the maturity and growth both happy and sad is so evident it's like watching my child graduate

i look in people's windows another stellar string hook thank you and goodbye. ok but fr the visual here is inherently funny

the prophecy claiming this one for the neurodivergents

cassandra yeah yeah drama i know but damnnnn greek mythology BANGER

peter *taking notes* never... trust.. a man.. named..... peter.........

the bolter she's a runner she's a track star (can you tell i've run out of things to say it's just a good fucking album)

robin ohohoho i am an absolute SLUT for a good ode to childhood

the manuscript now that's a story

and at last--my current rankings:

who's afraid of little old me?

so long, london

how did it end?

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus

the smallest man who ever lived

florida!!!

clara bow

the alchemy

loml

i can do it with a broken heart

the albatross

my boy only breaks his favorite toys

i look in people's windows

cassandra

fortnight

i hate it here

the black dog

but daddy i love him

thanK you aIMee

the bolter

guilty as sin?

robin

i can fix him (no really i can)

the prophecy

peter

the manuscript

so high school

fresh out the slammer

the tortured poets department

imgonnagetyouback

down bad

now i know being critical is not one of my specialties but seriously it's a solid album ok. midnights is literally my baby and it has a skip for me so

now naturally my enthusiasm for each song will potentially decrease and most certainly increase over time cuz that's how i process albums buttttttt yuh 👍

almost any other artist building an entire persona about being an emo poet would make me roll my eyes but damn it she's so right

#wow that was a lot #the tortured poets department #ttpd #taylor swift #ts #fortnight #my boy only breaks his favourite toys #mbobhft #down bad #so long london #but daddy i love him #bdilh #fresh out the slammer #florida!!! #guilty as sin #who's afraid of little old me #waolom #i can fix him (no really i can) #icfhnric #loml #i can do it with a broken heart #icdiwabh #the smallest man who ever lived #tsmwel #the alchemy #clara bow #the black dog #imgonnagetyouback #the albatross #chloe or sam or sophia or marcus

[spook-e-snail]

Yo dude

Opinion onnnnnnnnnn Ram3nN00dles Cass? The one who's really popular

*rubs my horrible little bug hands together* I have. So many thoughts.

There's obviously tons of hate for this mod and I'm just gonna start this off by saying that I'm not crazy about it, but admittedly I think a lot of the reasons most people hate it kinda suck lmao.

Breaking this down and also putting it under a read more because like I said. Many thoughts. A few positive. A lot negative

Now I hear a lot of folks rag on her design in this mod but tbh? It's like my favorite part.

Design:

Like c'mon. This specific image was my PFP on fucking everything for like 2 years. It adds a bit to the original design without changing too much. I will admit however I'm not crazy about the crop top. Some folks claim that the mod over sexualizes her design because God forbid she has hips, an ass and a crop top but again I don't really see it?? It's not my favorite thing but c'mon, it's a crop top it's not a fucking gimp suit lmao.

I will admit in this outfit she feels less goth and more?? Alt?? I guess you could say?? Like again it sticks to the og design but it doesn't really have the vibes if that makes sense??

Another thing I surprisingly enjoy is RN's take on the penilians. Like most folks interpret them as humanoid and tbh? I like the more buggy look better.

The whole abdomen, thorax and legs part is kinda iffy?? Like the phase one design kept her design recognizable with minimal changes but this just feels a bit too far off.

I'll start this part off by admitting I don't know jack fuck about music theory or much like that but like. I do not enjoy 90% of the main mod songs. Possession is one of the better ones of the mix but even then the entire time I felt like I was waiting for some kind of drop that just?? Never came??

Music:

I really hate being negative here but oh my god. Oh my god. Takeover is so fucking bad. It isn't pleasant. At all. Especially in the UTAU update, like bestie that echo is not helping.

I feel like all of the songs in that mod had that same problem where something just felt missing?? Like the voice thingy she has is pretty good and I like that they changed up BF's voice in it but tbh that can only carry a mod so far. Like again I don't know much about music theory but it doesn't really feel like there's much of a rhythm? Like yeah some parts of songs repeat but not really in a fun way.

I will admit though the Ugh cover had me in a chokehold for like a year so. Points there I guess. But again all the original music is boring at best and absolute diarrhea at worst.

Hooooooo boy.

Lore:

Look I could have forgiven the lore if the music was halfway tolerable but damn. This shit is not helping itself.

This mod was made before the April fools update and hot damn is it abundantly clear.

Ramen tried really hard to make Cassandra the good guy, and back in 2021 this was pretty unheard of. Like back then everyone blasted Cass enjoyers on fuckin sight lmao (some were fair, like yeah shooting up a school isn't good obviously. Some were pretty far off though. There was a time when pretty much half of the damn FNF fandom called her a nazi?? Like say what you want but she was pretty clearly anti-facist within the first few seconds of PS). But when he tried making Cass a good guy he kinda butchered the character.

Like the whole possession story arc isn't really easy to follow imo. Like okay the penilians are aliens in this mod. But they possess her like they're demons?? And when they possess her they make her shoot up a school.

In this mod her parents are Daddy Dearest and Mommy Mearest, it just doesn't really make sense that they'd make her shoot up a school and not literally anything else?? Like if they were wanting to just kill as many people as possible why did they possess some random teenager? Like why not possess some dude in the military or with some form of political power? The whole alien possesed thing just doesn't make sense. Plus after the events of Pico's school she just lives with the alien possessing her?? Like apparently PS takes places when she's like 17 and in the mod she's 23. Like holy fuck how has she not done anything else??

That and I'm not a fan of the whole family drama B plot. Like its a neat concept to make her GF's estranged sister but the whole reunion with Cass and DD just feels?? Clunky?? Awkward?? Like it's just not very elegant.

Simply not vibing with it

Creator:

Look I'm not gonna go crazy deep into the drama here but what I will say is it was very clear Ramen was 17 when he made this mod, for better or for worse. He did a lot of dumb shit because he was a kid.

Some folks shit on him because he's trans and obviously that's just not fucking cool, but obviously that's not why I don't fully vibe with him. Like fucks sake I'm like vaguely nonbinary, I get that sometimes people are gonna be nasty to folks like us for literally zero reason.

Misc:

The whole mod has huge PicoxCass connections and again I don't really vibe with it. It's definitely not my favorite ship ever. Like obviously people can ship whatever they want but hot damn I don't wanna see it.

Cass does end up a little woob-ified in an attempt to make her redeemable. Like by all means theres a way to redeem her without making her personality unrecognizable. I feel like this story might have worked with an OC or something but the whole penilian thing just. Did not work in my opinion.

I used to fucking LOVE this mod back in the day but as I've gotten older and understood Cassandra's character a bit more I've sorta fallen out of love with it. Don't get me wrong the designs go hard to this day but some decent art won't save a mod with shitty songs, confusing story and a controversial creator.

#asks #🖤🍎🕷️ #friday night funkin #adding this to the main tag because I don't fear god

[icybreaths]

Rules, tag 10 followers  you want to get to know better!

Tagged by: @burdenedreverance (thank you~)

Tagging: @sunniestshark , @nildov , @characternerdocs , @ichigokurosaki , @sylvctica , @territorialii, @fallesto , @desuetmort , @midnightactual , @galeforged (no pressure tags, feel free to ignore!)

Name: Just call me Chicky

Star Sign: Taurus sun (Virgo moon / Scorpio rising winkwonk)

Height: 5'8

Middle name: Nicole

Put your itunes/spotify/youtube on shuffle. What are the first 6 songs that popped up?

Crazy in Love – The Eden Project Feat. Leah Kelly

Death and Humanity – Sewerslvt

Psychonaut – Mr. Gnome

The Key – Black Stone Cherry

Dark Clubbing / Dark Electro / Industrial Bass Mix 'TECH NOIR' – Aim to Head Mix

Krwlng – Linkin Park (Reanimation)

Ever had a poem or song written about you: No, I don’t think so.

When was the last time you played air guitar: I don’t remember :’D

Who is your celebrity crush?: Hmmmm James Marsters, esp circa BTVS era. Hamsome

What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?: I cannot stand the sound of gritty textures, especially on metal. I always feel like I can taste it as I hear it and it makes me want to 4th dimensionally reel into myself I fucking Hate It lmao. I looooove the sound of rain. I feel an instant sense of calm and peace when it’s raining.

Do you believe in ghosts?: 100% I have stories!

How about aliens: Bro. We’re aliens bro.

Do you drive?: Noooo. It’s not out of a lack of trying either! I’ve failed the driving test twice and just barely failed last time. I think I was two points from passing it? My anxious ass was like, right maybe this isn’t for me I never wanted to do this anyway bye forever, and cried a little. But I’m over it now. Almost 30 btw, love that for me.

If so have you ever crashed: There were a couple of instances when I was younger but they were minor incidents luckily (also no I was not driving lmfao side-eyes previous question.)

What was the last book you read?: Couldn’t tell ya.

Do you like the smell of gasoline: No.

What was the last movie you saw?: Pretty sure it was Men in Black 2.

What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?:  Several years ago I got really drunk and accidentally stepped on this creepy dude’s teapot with my bare foot, shattered it, and wounded my ankle. I Could Not walk on it omfg it hurt so bad. I was so drunk though that I was laughing about it, and then crying because I ‘couldn’t get the wound or shards out of my foot’ no matter how much I dug at it. There were no shards it was just a bloody pit and I was dumb drunk, don't perceive me.

Anyway skipping ahead a little bit because that was an awful night-- couldn’t walk on it properly for about two weeks, had to use crutches and people's shoulders as leverage so I could hobble around, and now I have a little crescent scar on my ankle to this day.

Lied to my family about it and told them it was from stepping on glass at a spring (because I was on vacation in another part of the country at the time. Didn’t wanna worry them. What a way to start off my 20s LOL)  I don't drink anymore btw. I don't enjoy the feeling of being drunk.

Do you have any obsessions right now?: Getting My Shit Together while also roleplaying on tumblarg, and doodling.

#[ ooc. ] #[ dash games ] #//tldr i'm embarrassing and kinda lame but my taste in music is alright

[notquitejiraiya]

I want to ask! 3 - 14

Absolutely absolutely! I answered number 8 and 14 in my precious post (replying to the lovely @clumsydragon28) but I’ll answer the rest under here:

3) screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

Oh god, many many many. The first that comes to mind (if I try and keep this Naruto related) was something about Temari being forced to birth Shikamaru’s misogynistic son?? like mate, please calm yourself.

4) what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

I don’t often block, but the straw that broke the camel’s back with the most recent block was just someone’s persistence ignorance and lack of interest in learning and improving, despite pretending to. Not even just of a craft, just of being a better, more personal and understanding human

5) worst discord server and why

A server entirely made up of Paul McCartney stans I was invited to and quietly observed for like 6 months before being chucked out for being inactive. I sent like one message — I was too scared to speak — and I don’t even like Paul McCartney past a general appreciation of his music. Not the worst as in a bad place, but worst as in I didn’t belong lmao.

6) which ship fans are the most annoying?

I personally don’t think any fans are THAT bad anymore. Not bad enough to be mean about. Back in the day found a fair few shippers whose main ship has Naruto as one of the characters to be a right pain in the arse. But that’s only my memory of the old, bad shipping war days (from the sidelines) and honestly, it’s not that bad. Not bad enough to broadly label as annoying.

7) what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Not necessarily hate, but Sakura. I always found her just fine in canon but all of the pointless discourse around her absolutely drives me up the wall to the to the point where I see her name (outside a fic as a non-main character, which is rare for me, too) and I just groan.

9) worst part of canon

Do I even need to say it? It’s the fucking aliens.

10) worst part of fanon

Maybe it sounds dumb, but for me it’s just when people write Naruto himself. I can’t think of a single fic I’ve read where Naruto hasn’t annoyed me. He was already so precariously on the edge of bearable for me in canon that seeing interpretations of him is always bound to drive me nuts.

Alternatively, across various fandoms, bragging about how niche things are as if that makes them better. This always gripes me in fandoms: spaces that are supposed to bring people who enjoy the same things together. Of course please do like what you like and be proud; I’m happy for you that you like that thing, but the popularity or lack of popularity of something is no bearing on how much more nuanced, clever or deep your level of thought is.

11) number of fandom-related words you've filtered

Grand total of 6 muted words on twt if that’s what this means. 0 on tumblr because I can control what I see better :)

12) the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

I mean, I don’t think anyone in my fandoms is that unpopular. Maybe I just got good at not seeing bullshit, but nobody. My violence for this one is that there’s content for most things in this fandom to a level that reflects canon and that doesn’t make things “unpopular”. Less popular, maybe. But obviously your fave with 1 minute screen time or 3 lines in a novel isn’t gonna have an insane fandom following probably. Doesn’t make them unpopular, they’re just a nobody.

If I have to give a “proper” answer though, I say Rasa. Just cause I find him interesting and he’s perhaps not widely enjoyed.

13) worst blorboficiation

Think as of late it’s got to be Kankuro. But specifically the cat-boy stuff I see. I just don’t get it. The man might have a good and the capacity to be silly and soft and dorky, but the cat-boy stuff just doesn’t align with him at all for me. Not a fan.

#choose violence ask game

[drukhari]

Whats Warhammer about exactly?

HOO alright, well as a quick disclaimer before we get started, we're only gonna be touching on the subject of Warhammer 40k specifically because I have no experience with Warhammer Age of Sigmar (aka Warhammer Fantasy) to speak of!

This is mainly just gonna be input from my fiancée from here on, since Lily's the one who introduced me to the game and knows SO much more about the lore than I do, so here she is:

"What's Warhammer about?" - It's about wasting lots of money on little toy soldiers so that you can move them around on a table but in reality you'll end up owning way more models than you'll ever paint and they mock you relentlessly for being such a slow painter. There you go: I just saved you years of time and thousands of dollars, you're welcome.

No but seriously: it's a tabletop war game that's set in the 41st millennium (I'm not talking about Age of Sigmar, I spend enough on this crap without playing that too lmao). Humanity has created a dystopian empire under the rule of a guy called the Emperor and he's basically a corpse plugged into a lifesupport machine. He serves 2 main functions: his presence in an alternate dimension called the Warp (don't worry, I'll get to it) allows ships to travel through the space accurately by triangulation based on his position and also he's the official God of the empire...so that's fucked!

The empire is millions of planets and trillions of people, so that's a lot of real estate to babysit. To help with that, they have a massive standing army of regular humans, religious fanatics who will happily die in droves to defend the Emperor, and the Space Marines: 8 foot tall super soldiers who are super hard to kill and are like Master Chief from Halo cranked to 11. If you've ever seen ANY marketing material for Warhammer, you've seen a Space Marine.

Fighting them are the denizens of the Warp (I told you I'd get to it lol), which is an alternate reality where Demons come from (its...a whole lot more than JUST that but this is already a fucking novel). With the Demons are fallen humans and Space Marines who turned from the Emperor and worship the major powers in the warp as gods. There are 4 of these: Khorne the Blood God (he's the one most people know), Nurgle the God of Decay, Tzeentch the God of Change, and Slaanesh the God of Excess.

On top of that nonsense, there are also aliens who hate humanity and they are as follows:

Eldar - literally Space Elves who come in 4 flavors. Craftworld Eldar are your high elves in Space. Dark Eldar (aka Drukhari) are your super sadistic dark elves in space. Corsairs are (you guessed it) pirate elves in Space, and Harlequins who are elf clowns...in Space.

Orks - big, green, very dumb but hit like a truck. Envision Warcraft orcs, give them guns and robots, turn down their smarts and turn up the violence. Honestly a super fun faction to play.

Tyranids - Space locusts who want to eat everything. They work as a hive mind...basically it's the Zerg from StarCraft (and that's my last comparison to a Blizzard IP)

Necrons - Zombie robots with a kind of ancient Egyptian vibe. Picture the robot from Terminator but make it glow green and have ancient Egyptian looking bits like crowns and cloaks of gold.

Tau - basically reptilian with a humanoid form and advanced tech. Suck at melee but that doesn't matter when you can shoot your opponent dead before they can reach you. Caste society that works toward the greater good.

The whole galaxy sucks, people die by the billions constantly and the bureaucracy of the empire just keeps chugging. It's a nightmare future where there's no hope and no one is "good". I hope you enjoyed my VERY brief primer on what Warhammer 40,000 is. If you want to know anything more specific just poke Tristan lmao, they'll let me know.

#long post #pic is literally the face Lily made at me when I asked her for help writing this up lmao

[harmonicabisexuals]

X Files Rewatch: Season 6

overall thoughts: i really liked this season on rewatch! tbf, i think i had only seen about half of the episodes when i originally watched this season but most of the new episodes (to me) i really enjoyed and of course it was great to go back and revisit some of my favorite episodes i had seen already. I love that they really hammered the idea of dreams/resets and fate vs. free will this season and there’s some great metas i read about those themes, i especially love the idea of viewing this season as a “concept album”. 

msr: this season really is all about one step forward two steps back in terms of the question of belief/the truth and msr relationship to each other. the x files is closed, the x files reopens, the syndicate is destroyed, krycek and CSM blackmail skinner, they find the alien artifact. mulder pretends that the FTF almost kiss never happened, then tells scully he loves her two episodes later. scully almost dies and they seem closer than ever but then diana returns. things are tense and awkward but the events of milagro and the unnatural shock mulder out of his complacency. i think thematically the conclusion of this back and forth (and the tensions regarding belief that reached their peak in folie a deux) is resolved in field trip, when they each realize that they need the other to push back against them, that only together are they able to make progress in their work and also to feel like a complete person. the ending shot of them reaching for each other in the ambulance is the conclusion of the season long arc, where they are more mentally and spiritually on the same page than ever before (the romantic side will take slightly longer imo but that’s bc they are scared idiots lmao).

writing: no surprise that i still worship at the alter of vince gilligan but I also really enjoyed his collabs with john shiban this season: dreamland I&II, monday, three of a kind, and field trip are all solid episodes. and I have to give credit to chris carter for writing triangle and how the ghosts stole christmas, idk WHAT he was smoking while writing those episodes but whatever it was his third eye was WIDE open. (which of course then slams shut for two fathers/one son)

directing: poor rob bowman was given some really mediocre episodes this season, but i still love drive and he added a nice characteristic feel to his other episodes even if the scripts were bad. I would have loved to see his take on milagro, especially bc i think he could have connected it better to never again, but i still think kim manners did a good job, especially when he was more imitative of rob’s style. field trip and monday are also kim manners episodes that i really enjoyed from a directing standpoint. chris carter’s continuous shots ala the west wing in triangle were super cool, and david duchovny had some really lovely shots and especially transition shots in the unnatural.

hair: every time mulder and scully are separated and/or have to face the mortifying ordeal of leveling up their relationship they get out the kitchen scissors 🙄 

favorite episodes: drive, triangle, how the ghosts stole christmas, the rain king, tithonus, monday, arcadia, field trip

77% worth rewatching (may be a bit generous bc i’m including two fathers/one son even though i hated those episodes but they are relevant to the overall plot)

individual episode reactions under the cut:

The Beginning- okay slay cognitive dissonance and regression

Drive- Vince Gilligan KNOWS how to make a riveting hour of television!!!!

Triangle- this is television!!! also so west wing coded with the continuous shots 

Dreamland I- what happens if they get out of the car!!! chaos

Dreamland II- that goodbye scene with the sunflower seeds :((((

How the Ghosts Stole Christmas- Chris Carter’s third eye was WIDE open

Terms of Endearment- mulder “I’m not a psychologist” LMAOOO this episode is not serious

The Rain King- so silly so romantic I fucking love it

S.R.8819- the ending…I screamed

Tithonus- so striking so sad so horrifying so good

Two Fathers- mulder playing basketball :)))

One Son- making!! it!! personal!!

Agua Mala- they’re MARRIED

Monday- chilling…horror show groundhog day

Arcadia- they’re fake married, and heteronormativity is a prison <3

Alpha- Scully is sooo crazy jealous lmao

Trevor- bad story beautiful directing

Milagro- do male writers deserve rights?

The Unnatural- shut up mulder I’m playing baseball :))

Three of a Kind- bimbo scully call me

Field Trip- thematic conclusion to the tensions of folie a deux and season 6 as a whole!!!!

Biogenesis- diana is evil evil evil 

#i really loved season 6! idk if i would call it my favorite season cause i'm definitely nostaglic for the vibes of like s2 and s3 #but it has some really good standalone episodes #perfect for individual rewatches #txf rewatch

[tfw-no-tennis]

tfc thotz

so ruth and I watched tf cyberverse, and since I love to talk, here are my scattered thoughts 

so this show???? was super fun and good??? why did it take me so long to hear that cyberverse is GOOD

like, when it first came out/back in like early 2019 when I was getting into transformers, I watched a couple random eps and I was like Oh ok this isn't terrible but also its just like, episodic and aimed at kids and kinda fluffy. okay!

ok but clearly I was wrong bc this biz has PLOT, babey! 

so yeah I ended up binging it w/ruth and I had a great time. I honestly enjoyed this show more than tfp, but I think it comes down to expectations - I expected very little from tfc so I was pleasantly surprised when my expectations were easily surpassed, and I expected something different/better from tfp so I was disappointed when it didn't live up to my expectations

anyways, my actual thoughts

I love the cast?? like I love how big the cast is and how the characters in focus kinda rotate around after s1 

also I love how stupid everybody in this show is. god. like nobody has any brain cells, its just No Thoughts Head Empty at all times. like, shockwave called the seekers dumb, and that might be true, but LITERALLY EVERYONE is dumb and I adore it 

s/o to bumblebee and hot rod, who are two wholesome frat bros trying to find a third frat bro to hang out with without that bro dying (rip blurr and cheetor)

also so many people die in this show???? like holy fuck. I was not expecting this amount of permanent, on-screen death

like when blurr gets fucking thanos snapped in the Spring Break Gone Wrong episode (which I think was one of the ones I watched back in 2019), I was like oh damn okay, but he’ll be back cause that's how it goes w/a show like this.

NOPE he’s dead for good. and like so many other characters die and stay dead, and that honestly caused actual suspense, bc it was like oh daym anyone can die and they'll probably stay dead unless they're starscream whos impossible to kill 

that's also another plus of a big cast - they can just murder people left and right. like starscream murdered like All the seekers at one point but there were more on cybertron so its fine I guess lmao 

also I like that there's a lot of female robots? and they’re all different and unique which is cool

also, no humans! I don't necessarily hate humans in tf stories when done right, but there being no humans in this show allowed it to be a lot freer in what they did w/the plot and lore and characters, which I appreciated

like, I remember when that netflix tf show was announced and it was like ‘ooooh a show set on cybertron without humans, baller!’ but I have like 0 interest in it after the stuff I've heard about it lol and meanwhile cyberverse was just doing exactly that - focusing on the robots, no humans, a lot of the show being set on cybertron 

like even when they're on earth there are like...no humans anywhere lmao they just don't care about the alien robots fighting I guess

except for that one segment where they show humans like, filming them & reacting and stuff, which was funnier and better than 90% of human-tf interactions in other tf media

oh and I fucking LOVE the time jumps in this show. cyberverse does NOT care about exposition at ALL, they'll just jump right the fuck in and expect you to catch up, which I adore 

like, the fucking s2 premiere. at the end of s1 they found the ark w/all the autobots and also megatron & co are heading for earth....then s2 starts w/a smash cut to the fucking moon where all the autobots are fighting all the decepticons, and we get a super brief summary of what amounts to half a season’s worth of content - the autobots waking up, the cons arriving, the humans finding out about the alien robots, the autobots allying w/the humans, the fight continuing, etcetc. its like we jumped in at the mid-season finale, and I LOVE it 

there's also a lot of tf lore stuff, which I love! like, they have the allspark, the matrix, vector sigma, titans, caminus...I feel like they throw a lot of lore at the audience with minimal explanation, which I enjoy as somebody who knows the lore well enough to not be confused by this (not that I think it would be confusing for non-fans, they do a good job explaining what needs to be known)

also loved that they never like, formally introduced most of the characters, they were just There suddenly lmao. that way they didn't have to waste time w/episodes dedicated to establishing their personalities and whatnot, and instead we just got to see what they were like ourselves - which now that I think about it, that harkens back to g1 where character would just randomly appear cause there was a new toy so boom new character, but they wouldn't explain it or anything hbhvsdkfbjaskd I love transformers

I love Hot Rod soooo much I'm so glad he was in this, he’s my fuckin BOI and he was so so good in this 

also I can’t believe drift was here but was EVIL ALL ALONG and then DIED that was crazy man 

oh man also optimus and megatron. I love this optimus, he was so cute...like, he was clearly most comfortable while fighting and giving inspiring speeches in the heat of battle, but the rest of the time he was kind of awkward and just really cute and polite, I loved that 

and megatron was SO hammy lmfao and he & optimus are clearly going thru the world’s messiest divorce but they don't REALLY want to get divorced and that's why its taking so long

but really I did love how the autobots and decepticons actually sat down for negotiations? and the autobots were like pshhh yeah this happens every so often, and things are going ok until BAM everyone's fighting again then its back to business as usual.

I just really enjoy that interpretation/approach to the war, it’s so interesting. it shows that both sides are aware that fighting eternally isn’t the best idea, but also that neither side is willing to back down on certain points, which makes peace difficult 

OH MANNN and I fucking LOVE how we got to see pre-war cybertron??? with everybody just hanging out, pre-faction...that was such a delight 

seriously, I love that episode about maccadams where it shows the slow slide into conflict...that was so great

one detail I especially loved was that bumblebee was all starry-eyed over megatron, not optimus - like the part where you see megs and OP sitting together at maccadams and bee is like oooh windblade I gotta introduce you and you think he’s talking about optimus but NOPE he’s talking about MEGATRON 

also another thing I love is that this show is like. rlly funny. I definitely laughed more than I expected to, there were some really solid jokes

OHHHH I love that they have a sport called CUBE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love cubes SOOO much such a good shape 😍 and in that ep when windblade is all like ‘ITS CUBE!!!!!!!!! OMG CUBE!!!! DONT YOU REMEMBER CUBE, BUMBLEBEE?’ I was like OH ME LMAO....CUUUUUBE

ok so the part in that one ep where megatron beats up starscream was??? so brutal??? and it lasted a WHILE too, and since the eps are so short it was like a third of the whole episode?? I was SO not expecting that level of brutality from this show, especially at this point in s2 where things hadn't really gotten that hardcore

ok I gotta talk abt the characters now. bc I love the characters and there’s so many of them which is fantastic 

as I’ve already said I adore my boi hot rod. I also love bumblebee SO MUCH in this, he’s just such a good boy....good lad....also I’m glad he got to talk after s1, I didn’t mind the no-voice thing bc it didn’t overstay its welcome

cheetor is soooo good too HE’S JUST A BABY. A GOOD CATBOY...cheetor and bee and hot rod was such a good and pure boy squad and I’m so sad abt cheetor dying. that shit was depressing 

ruth seeing beast wars cheetor: look how they massacred my boy 😫

me: ...you know he’s originally from beast wars, right???

ruth: IM STILL RIGHT

oh ym god shockwave. him being ANGERY was so ufcking funny especially bc in a few shots he WASNT angry so that means its not that he Just Looks Like That, it’s that he really IS angry All The Time and frowning constantly hvbhfdkhsfjbhskdjf god. anyways he was literally the only character with a brain cell in the entire show, he was the only one who got shit done. that part where megatron is like ‘finally you did something successful shockwave’ was so fucking funny bc like. all he DOES is succeed and meanwhile megatron is getting dunked on every 3 seconds. oh my god

SOUNDWAV?EE???? SOUNDWAVE I love soundwave he’s legit one of my fav tf characters ever, idek why it was just On Sight, I love his design and voice and his whole deal...cyberverse soundwave was SO good, he’s just SO RUDE and I love him. I love how he was always playing music and I just adore his whole ‘come at me bro’ attitude lmao

oh man I liked slipstream a lot, and her and windblade had so much potential, I’m sad slipstream died...unfortunately she was the only seeker to have half a braincell so she had to perish (I mean all the seekers ended up dying anyways but still)

also that bludgeon guy??? wtf was up w/him???? we legit never got an explanation for why he was Like That hbvhfakdjhbfdsjkf and like idk him from any other media so I was legit just so confused abt him lmao. he looks like orange cyclonus and he’s mean bc he killed slipstream >:(

ok I love grimlock he reminds me of thor tbh and he’s just such a good himbo. him and arcee hanging out was so perfect. himbo/hermbo solidarity at its finest

I find it hilarious that it seems like ratchet is The Only medic on all of cybertron, cause we literally never see another medic on either side, and the decepticons are apparently just letting shockwave do whatever to anyone who was injured...hvsdkjnfkasfdbh its like rung being The Only therapist on all of cybertron in idw1

oh my god the wild west episode was so sad like...that was str8 up depressing bro and there wasn't even a happy ending. oof. also I love the continuity, where we see multiple stasis pods falling from the arc (one being bumblebees) in s1, but we don’t follow up on it until here in s3. nice

I liked the pacing in the show a lot - I feel like s1 was pretty basic and straightforward, and a solid season in general, but things got real good in s2 when a bunch of character showed up and multi-episode plots started happening, and then s3 was really really good with the actual arcs happening, and the focus shifting throughout different characters 

like I feel like s1 did a great job starting slow and setting up the worldbuilding for the other seasons, and s2 went All In and threw a ton of characters and more high-concept plots in, which I think worked as well as it did BECAUSE s1 was a lot more lowkey

for example, I like that pretty much the only autobots on earth in s1 are bumblebee and windblade, and later grimlock, and the only decepticons are shadow striker and a bunch of seekers; it makes the conflict feel appropriately smaller rather than jumping right into The Big War

ruth said this and I kinda agree but the weakest point of the show was probably the fight scenes, especially in s1 bvhjdkhfbjhs it’s not that they were badly animated or anything, just that they weren't that exciting and I was more interested in the plot, so I was like guyssss stop fighting and keep moving the plot forward already! which is actually a compliment bc usually I love fight scenes and don’t care as much about plot stuff lmao

also cyberverse has THE funniest scene I've ever witnessed which was of course starscream’s twitch stream funeral BHVJSDKFHBSJKDHF that LEGIT made me die laughing like...I did NOT expect that and it totally killed me, holy shit, and the fact that there’s no real explanation for why megatron decided to do a big grand funeral for starscream while pretending HE wasn't the one who killed starscream??? and he streamed it all on twitch??? like the fuckgin emotes hbvhjadkjfbsjkhf and the twitch chat oh my GOD ‘#starscreamgate’ and ‘who is storescream?’ BHJGKSDHBFSKBF I cant yall it was so fucking funnyyyyy other tf media could NEVER

ok thats it for now, more thoughts at a later date im sure!

#liveblog #lj and ruth watch cyberverse #transformers #tfc #OH MY GOD THIS IS OVER 2 YEARS OLD I FORGOT TO POST THIS LMFAO