#have I lost enough weight this time?

[goldkirk]

CONTENT WARNING for weight loss (a percentage number) and mentions of throwing up

In other news I'm waiting impatiently for a GI appointment to tell them "hi I lost 15% of my body weight in six months and I throw up more often than once or twice a year now so can you please fucking listen and do something this time"

#brought to you by my fatigue and current nausea again #I am. so bad mood last night and so exhausted sad mood today #I’m TIRED #I FEEL BAD #I HATE BEING SICK BUT I HATE NOT BEING TREATED FOR BEING SICK EVEN MORE #NO ONE HAS LISTENED AND TRIED TO HELP SINCE 2017 WITH THIS #I am BEGGING #hello. I’m back. #have I lost enough weight this time? #does throwing up now give me bonus points? #am I sick enough for you to help now??? #or do i still look too healthy?? #I. AM. TIRED. #I considered stopping trying even for a couple week to let them see #how bad it would get if not for my constant efforts with movement and timers for snacks and planning out salt amounts etc #but that would wreck me so bad I don’t feel like digging out of that hole while work is busy coming up #UGH IGNORE ME IM DONE #shh katie #health

[jess-abides]

Happy Monday

I’m 🙂 grateful 🙂 all 🙂 the 🙂 fucking 🙂 time 🙂

#me #tbh I like the vibe of this album but I feel like I’m too old for it lol #this song is growing on me tho honestly might make it onto the menty b playlist #aaanyway was at the gym at 6:15 this morning and I’m exhausted #didn’t go to bed early enough for that shit #but I got my lifts done and finished w 1200 stairs by 7:30 so I feel pretty accomplished 😌 #started a new program month w my trainer today - phase 5 bitches #who would have thought #he also asked me for my weight/inches lost so he could brag abt me to his other clients 🥹🥹🥹 #he’s so proud and it was validating at just the right time #bc ur girl is tired and my brain is fighting me a bit #but I’m not fking stopping #wow talk about a tag rant lmao ily if you read all these #Spotify

[keelanrosa]

terfs when a study shows literally anything positive about trans people/transitioning: 'hm i think this requires some fact-checking. Were those researchers REALLY unbiased? Because if they were biased this doesn't count and if they weren't knowingly biased they probably were unconsciously biased, woke media affects so much these days. Have there been any other studies on this? Because if there haven't been this could be an outlier and if there have been and they all agree that's a bit odd, why aren't there any outliers, and if there have been and any disagree we really won't know the truth until we very thoroughly analyze them all, will we? Were there enough subjects for a good sample size? Did every single subject involved stay involved through the whole study because if they didn't we should be sure nothing shady was going on resulting in people dropping out. Are we 110% sure all the subjects were fully honest and at no point were embarrassed or afraid to admit they didn't love transitioning to the people in charge of their transition? Are we 110% sure none of the subjects were manipulated into thinking they were happy with their transition? In fact we should double-check what they think with their parents, because if the subjects and their parents disagree it's probably because they've been manipulated but their cis parents have not and are very unbiased. How many autistic subjects were there because if there weren't enough then this doesn't really study the overlap between autistic and trans and if there were too many then we just don't know enough about what causes that overlap to be sure this study really explains being trans and isn't just about being autistic. How many AFAB subjects were there because if there weren't enough this is just another example of prioritizing AMAB people and ignoring the different struggles of girls and women and if there were too many how do we know sexism didn't affect the results. Was the study double-blinded? We all know double-blinded is the most reliable so if this one wasn't that's a point against it even if the thesis literally physically could not be double-blinded. Look i'm not being transphobic, i want what's best for trans people! Really! But as a person who is not trans and therefore objective in a way they cannot possibly be, i just think we should only take into account Good Science here. You want to be following science and not being manipulated or experimented upon by something unscientific, right?'

terfs when they see a study of 45 subjects so old it predates modern criteria for gender dysphoria and basically uses 'idk her parents think she's too butch', run by a guy who practiced conversion therapy, 'confirmed' by a guy who treated the significant portion of subjects who didn't follow up as all desisting, definitely in the category of 'physically cannot double-blind this', completely contradicted by multiple other studies done on actual transgender subjects, but can be kinda cited as evidence against transitioning if you ignore everything else about it: 'oOOH SEE THIS IS WHAT WE'RE TALKIN BOUT. SCIENCE. Just good ol' unbiased thorough analysis. I see absolutely no reason to dig any deeper on this and if you think it's wrong you're the one being unscientific. It's really a shame you've been so thoroughly brainwashed by the trans agenda and can't even accept science when you see it. Maybe now that someone has finally uncovered this long-lost study from 1985, we can make some actual progress on the whole trans problem.'

#science #transphobia #cass review #less 'cass review' generally more 'zucker specifically' because this same problem exists outside cass #have lost count of the number of times i've seen 'well THAT study may have said most trans kids persist but it MUST be wrong' #'there's another study says the exact opposite. that one's right. obviously.' #but cass is why i'm annoyed by it now #normally i don't have a problem with critical observations and questions. yeah check your science! that's good! #there have been some bullshit studies and some bullshit interpretations of good studies! scientific literacy is important! #and normally also am willing to pretend the people pulling reaction 1 on some studies and reaction 2 on others are. not the same group. #but now there's a ton of cass supporters tryna say 'oh the cass review didn't reject or downplay anything for being pro-trans!' #'some studies just weren't given much weight for being poor evidence! not our fault those were all studies with results trans people like!' #…….………….aight explain why zucker's findings are used for the 'percentage of trans kids who don't stay trans' stat instead of anyone else's. #would've been more scientifically accurate to say 'yeah we just don't know.' #'studies have been done but none of them fit our crack criteria sooooo *shrug*' #like COME ON at least PRETEND you're genuinely checking scientific correctness and not looking for excuses to weed out undesirable results #am also mad about zucker in particular because his is possibly the most famous bullshit study #quite bluntly if you're doing trans research and think 'yeah this one seems reasonable' you. are maybe not well-informed enough for the job #there's just no way you genuinely look at the research with an eye toward accurate science regardless of personal bias #and walk away thinking 'hm that zucker fellow seems reasonable. competent scientists will respect that citation.' #that's one or two steps above doing a review of vaccine science and seriously citing wakefield's mmr-causes-autism study #it doesn't matter what the rest of your review says people are gonna have OPINIONS on that bit #and outside anti-vaxxers most of those opinions will be 'are you actually the most qualified for this because ummmm.' #people who agree with everything else will still think someone more competent could've done a much better job #people who disagree with everything else will point to that as proof you don't know shit and why should we listen to you #anyway i'd love a hugeass trans science review with actual fucking standards hmu if you know of one cause this ain't it #……does tumblr still put a limit on how many tags you can include guess me and my tag essay are about to find out.

[irawhiti]

man there is really no way out of poverty huh. like for real.

#no matter how much money i save up over years and years it literally won't ever be enough #i'm just never gonna get anything i want done like top surgery and i have to accept that. at the bare minimum it's gonna take over a decade #i have over 10 thousand dollars worth of dental work that needs to be done now #which would have been completely free if my parents just took me as a teen. free. but they didn't because they're abusive fuckwads #so now i gotta foot the bill. i'll never forgive them for a lot of things and that's one of the biggest things lol. #it's gonna cost several thousand dollars just to get me out of here back into a city too not even including finding a place and paying bond #everything i've saved up for literal years now is literally nothing compared to the bare minimum to potentially stop being fucking homeless #i've lost all the weight i gained from being able to feed myself bc i'm back with my parents with even less access to food than last time #so i'm just like... chronically malnourished and fainting all the time again. it really feels like the past few years were for nothing #i wish i had a bed. i haven't had a bed for well over a year now. #it's so fucking expensive to be homeless and for what. i was able to take a shower for the first time in two weeks today #taking a shower costs $30 for me. i'm so tired man. #delete later

[grouchythefish]

genuinely don't know what to say when people say "have you lost weight?" because like as far as I know, there's about equal odds they mean either:

a) "hey are you doing alright, health-wise? you look like you've lost weight". ----- In which case it's none of your business and I don't wanna talk about it - but I can't say that at work.

b) "wow you've lost weight and in my worldview that's an objectively good thing! This is a compliment!" ----- in which case I do not view this the same way you do and cannot take this as a compliment - but I can't say that at work.

and in my experience whenever I reply to this with "I don't know, maybe, I don't really pay attention to that stuff" the person laughs and asks the question again. They think I'm joking.

#steeve.txt #genuinely really wish people didn't say things like this to me #if i have lost weight lately its because I'm under a lot of stress and not eating enough #because i basically spend all my time at work or in bed #but I don't like saying anything that implies I bit off more than i could chew when i took this job #(even if it might be true)

[zippers]

wish i could gain weight without eating 😭😭😭 like a sims slider i just wanna gain like 15 pounds in 15 seconds is that too much to ask of my body?!?! apparently

#put on shorts i wore when i was 12 and they are TOO BIG #i dont know how much i weigh because i dont have a scale but i was just underweight a few weeks ago #and i have gotten BETTER at forcing myself to eat but i basically only had bread fruit and a monster energy drink yesterday #and by basically i mean... i know thats all i ate #but i mean i ate a lot of bread... like a bagel #half a loaf of french bread and several slices of rosemary sourdough #my mom bought me groceries which i so appreciate but she did not really... buy me healthy foods #like... 3 different bread products... nothing to put on the bread?! when i am in food funks 80% of my nutrition comes from hummus and guac #oh she did buy me soups but my microwave is broken but i literally havent been getting enough calories to HEAT THINGS ON THE STOVE!!!! #they said i might gain weight on zoloft which i was excited before but instead i lost the same amount of weight i lost this summer in half #the time #bc at least this summer i WANTED to eat i just wasnt given long enough breaks at work to eat ENOUGH food #and i was super active. now i am an art hermit not exercisng & going days where 90% of my calories are energy drinks and the occasional carb #i think its a side effect of the meds and not #disordered eating #but im tagging it as that anyway

[dirt-str1der]

Love all the randos in y0 making fun of majima for being skinny calling him shit like stickman and other insulting things i forgot and they make sure to really cement that majima is your wireframe protagonist and then he takes off his shirt and hes literally normal shaped. Bullshit i want to see a scarecrow i dont like his beefy body , you hyped me up only to lie to me

#Yakuza loveblog #this is a loveblog becUse i likehim #my dog is curling up does anyone care ? does anyone care that ollie looks so cute and baby like ? ... #i hate it whenever majima puts on his glasses because i always want to peel his eyelid open #just had to survive a whole segment of him wearing those slutty translucent shades #and from the side you can see a bit of his left eye and like nghh i want to play with the loose skin so bad #i went back to edit my original post to say more and completely lost this train of thought #but like i would love for kiryu and majima to have drastically different body types. they already have incredibly different fighting styles #i want kiryu to be barrel shaped ........ i want majima to only eat properly when hes with someone he likes (which is never back in y0) #i made him run across the city to enter. resturant and eat two quail eggs #it was because i wasnt very injured but its still an extremely funny thing. to happen #now which would be sadder ... that majima literally cannot gain weight or that his appetite was completely shot after his time in the hole.. #i mean he was alwys kind of bony as seen from the flashback scenes .... i need him to be skinnier ............ #you should be able to wrap your arms around his waist twice over hands wrapped to your shoulders #you guys have no damn clue how much it turned me on to see his skinny little wrist just hanging limp in a manacle. enough space to clamp bot #in one cuff ...... his hands look huge compared to how tiny his wrists are ... need him to be skinnier ..!!! #im so obsessed with his body i want to get inside it and i dont care how .... i want to watch him eat ... i would like to feed him from my #hand and feel his shitty moustache graze my palm .. it was a pleasure to have your son on a leash #i want to see skin stretched tight over his shoulders i want to chew on him ... goe the. the last time i liked a skinny guy ws ... oh my god #it was all might

[zincbot]

first workout after top surgery had me flying high all day

#my seroma is probably finally gone and i just have this one tiny spot that's not healed yet after 6 weeks #(i'm a slow healer in general so it's not unexpected) #i was doing some jumping jack variants during warmup and did feel that a little so i slowed it down #but it felt so good finally i've had this awful pent-up-energy for so long #even after i went beastmode in the woods #also workouts already made me feel a little gender before and now it's crazy the euphoria #i'm sure it'll die down eventually but AAAA I LOVE IT SM (it being. my body. how wild is that) #anyway i visted my family and talked to my brother abt working out almost the whole time #I WAS EXCITED OKAY #also had a fun hangout day with all my friends the night prior so just. i welcome the good mood #anyway i usually do upper focus (before) #but during my 6 weeks break i was thinking i shld probably add core to that #so now i'm gonna alternate core + upper. i did core today #it was actually a cardio circuit + a lower body circuit + a core circuit so i feel like it was a pretty well rounded first go back #i gotta be a little slow with upper body stuff anyway cause that's. the surgery. #also i had raised my regular weights after a while before and. like i know i lost some during my break but i'm loathe to go back down #so instead i'm using just one of my two weights for stuff that's too hard with 2 rn. works pretty well #and i already did this before but modifying certain lifts that are meant for smaller weights to be more stable to work with my regular ones #cause i don't have time to be constantly switching my weights and i don't have enough money for more than 1 set #anyway i don't usually do lower body focus (i skip leg day) cause my legs are very limited use due to some weird joint issue #my arms are too but i don't spent all day walking on my arms so i can usually push them a little harder in workout #ehehehe anyway

[headphonemouse]

Pining hell

#in recently memory i have not wanted something with the intensity that i wanted to close the distance of 5 centimeters and press our sides #together. we were SO close. gravity was literally on my side we were sitting in a playground slide hiding from the sun my legs were swung #over the side she sat at the base and all i had to do was relax a little and i would have slid right into her #and she would have let me #when i saw her again for the first time in years she called to say she was walking down the street towards me and we would see each other #soon and i ran. i wanted to see her so bad so i ran and we ended up on opposite sides of the highway with no crossing #hi #from across the telephone line #and we talked like that until we got to the traffic light and she crossed to meet me and i wanted to hug her and look at her all at once #i looked at her. she'd lost some weight. she wears flat shoes now instead of the heels she adores. she cut her bangs #some time between the shared plate of french fries and the rose bushes we walked past time started moving again and i thought about the #future. for once looking forward to it. where would i go? what would i do? i didnt know before but i knew then i wanted it to be with her #ive always kind of known that #i used to think about her constantly #over the years i thought about her less and less but still often enough to maintain contact #hi it has been *checks timestamp* SIX DAYS?! #only six days since i wrote all the above and istg i felt time slowing down and stopping the longer i went without her #until i just kinda. settled back into living without her #six days ago it was unbearable #now im just as i have been for the past several years #and its kind of sad seeing that play out #but also by nature of getting used to it i cant even really get sad about it #its like listening to someone else distant from me talk about a foreign concept #love‚ i think i understood it just a little bit a week ago #it seems to have felt great #i dont remember it all that well anymore #talking tag

[wizardnuke]

they did nawt give me enough nausea medication perhaps by a longshot

#last dose is wearing off. feels Bad. i'm at work. aaaauuuh #emeto mention #also feeling really normal about how this is going to affect my already very low weight #i was trying so fucking hard dude. #last i checked i was at 89. gonna check tomorrow at bf's bc my scale is broken #FOR REFERENCE i am 5'0. but that is still bad. #once upon a got damn time i was 96 lbs. haven't broken 90 in a solid year #anorexia #ig #bmi has been proven to be unreliable enough to where i hope tomorrow's doctor is gonna hear me out but also #that has a lot to do with the upper end of the scale as opposed to the lower end that i am in #at BEST my bmi is 17.4 and i really doubt i haven't lost weight bc. i have eyes and it feels like it. #hello doctor i do not have a psychiatric condition i have a low appetite quick satiety and now i can't eat. Help lol #very very very frustrating. #would be really nice if this is part of a treatable gi issue honestly like at this point i hope it's something diagnosable #i am very tired and feeling very sick #at this point i think i can tell the doc i have been trying to gain weight. for months. and i literally can't #anyways im getting the same exact nausea med from an undisclosed source tomorrow to get me thru til i can get that refilled #hopefully will be able to get that at the docs tomorrow

[iinmysights]

i need to take my cat to the vet but i have so much anxiety about being in one and they open on mondayyy maybe i can make my mom take her in instead 😭

#Ravage.txt #dl #ally’s throwing up a lot :( and i think she’s lost a bit of weight i’m really concerned #she is OLD man like almost 20yo kind of old but i really felt like she had another good two years in her hhh i really hope they say it’s #something minor that a diet change or or short round of meds will fix and it’s not like. something i’d have to put her down for #she’s mostly just puking up liquid with a hairball once in a while but mostly liquid or the food she just ate so idk what’s up #it’s highkey scaring me though i have just over a month before classes start again and i can’t sit for over 2hr in one room if i have to put #her down now man i won’t be nearly recovered enough by then. i mean if it does happen i’ll absolutely tell my prof and say that i might need #to step away into the hallway or the cafe across the building and try to calm down before entering class again but i really really don’t #want it to come to that #anyway . gotta go feed everyone now the tomcat just came in to say it’s past dinner time

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Something something the passage of time or whatever, but I've been following a particular artist for AGES and out of the blue I saw a post from them that just said "My daughter loved what I made for dinner tonight :)" and I was genuinely like "Your WHAT???????" when I read it.

Like, logically yes I know people Age, but my gut reaction is still "I followed you like 7 years ago when you were a baby, what do you mean you're not still a college student."

#i talk #it's WILD #This isn't just an online problem my concept of time in general is just Very Bad #I know part of it is the whole ADHD thing but I think this has just always been an issue for me in general #I always saw my cousin as [redacted] age #and now I'm older than that and I'm just like huh. Not A Fan Of That #idk man it's been a weird brain day for me today #<- implying it hasn't been a weird brain day for the last few years #today was just really frustrating #also obligatory ''sorry if you're my friend and I keep ghosting you'' message #I'll talk to a friend and be like ''ah that was fun :)'' #and then 5 months will pass and I'll be like ''no I just talked to you yesterday what do you mean?'' #o(-( #It's an eternal ''I've thought of them so surely that means I've talked to them'' #like no. no my friend. that is not how things work. you cannot psychically send vibes to people to let them know you're thinking about them #my best friend (bless her) has always been so nonchalant about it #it's no biggie if we haven't talked in a week or something we're just chilling. We're close enough that we don't need to text 24/7 #also we're both busy being Constantly Crushed Under The Weight Of Reality's Many Horrors #idk I lost the plot of this post but in summary: I love my friends and I especially love my best friend #I'm very lucky to have her

[chanselysees]

.

#sorry i need to vent ignore this #my new years resolution for 2023 was to work out consistently and get fit #bc i was really embarrassed at how physically weak i was last summer #and for the most part i did but with prepa and stuff i couldnt exercise as much as i wanted #but i still lost a bit of weight and was somewhat happy with the results for a while but #now i hate it again i hate it so much #ive been dancing a LOT (like 4h/week min. which is a lot for a fulltime uni student) bc it's convenient and good cardio and most of all FUN #and yeah the weight i lost is due to that and my cardio is good and im definitely much more fit than last year but #i still hate the way i look. so viscerally. and i know its my brain telling me nonsense bc it's not like a body can 'look bad' #and i'm lit a healthy weight im just a little thicker than french standards? #but i need to exercise more i want to lose all this fat i pinch my skin and wish it would melt beneath my fingers #but i dont have time or money for the gym and no buddy to go with and im intimidated so i just work out from home but #it's not enough i feel so discouraged. body dysmorphia in the summer really doesnt help my seasonal depression #like i truly believed this year would be my 'summer body' or whatever shit that means and its not and idk what to do i just want to be #in another persons skin. have another persons body. anyone truly #to the point that dancing isnt even fun for me anymore it's just competitive w myself i want to maximize the calories i burn and #i sometimes record myself cause i want to see the steps i miss and i did and i saw my body and it killed all my joy. #made me wanna die and cry. i stopped dancing immediately and i just swallowed back the tears cause theres no way i look like that. #so repulsive and nowhere near where i wanted. and again i know it's in my head there's no such thing as a 'repulsive' body due to weight!?! #but i cant apply that reasoning to myself. and i hate myself so much rn #im being called for dinner rn but i'd honestly rather not eat. i think i'd feel horribly gross if i ate anything right now #i told my friends i'd stop using hunger as a form of self-punishment but it almost feels satisfying in a twisted way... like i deserve it #clara tais toi #like ia m SO obsessed with my appearance in a way that is borderline unhealthy i am SO #preoccupied by how im perceived (physically) if i look hot if i look pretty if i look cute at any and all times and #the answer is never ever satisfactory because other ppls judgement of me cannot fix my own but like #it's so exhausting. i'm so exhausted #dl later

[empressofthelibrary]

tfw you've been grooving to a song for ages and it's not until, like, the 82nd time it crops up in shuffle that you realize it's a Mass Effect fansong

#i have not played these games but i've learned a little bit via osmosis #not like... enough apparently lol #but i never heard the lines referencing a Commander Shepard until RIGHT NOW #anyway it's a fuckin bop about having the fate of a galaxy on your shoulders and cracking under the weight #...i think #idk man that music SLAPS i get lost in it every time #is this how y'all felt about Discord??

[maretriarch]

ive had really low self awareness for most of my life and now that I'm like. growing hyperaware of myself life has turned into a literal constant nightmare of embarrassment and regret. like from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep. this really has manifested with my weight especially. I really didn't know just how big I was, I don't know how I didn't know like I HAD eyes but. i couldnt see I guess. well now I see everything and that fckn sucks too

#looking back at old selfies i thought were good enough to post is fucking nuclear warfare but for my brain #you guys didnt have to know I was fat like thats the beauty of being online no one has to know and YET there i went. #gallivanting around in all my rubenesque glory #ive seen other people talk abt how they didn't know just how big they were until they lost the weight probably bcs gaining can be #such a gradual thing #its like adding one grain of sand to the pile at a time almost indistinguishable but it adds up #it's with other shit other than my weight like everything ive ever said or done in my life but thats a whole other thing #also this is all said knowing im still fat and will be irreconcilably embarrassed about this post in #(checks watch) the next three minutes

[femwizard]

I love you body positivity

I love you disability accomodations

I love you diverse human experience

#negativity in the tags time #i rlly appreciate the body posi posts that r like #weight gain and resting are good and healthy and natural #and its a good message and a lot of people need to hear it #myself included #BUT #ya girl has a hypermobility disorder #and im currently struggling with a knee injury #that is partly because i didnt/couldnt rest enough #but also partially because i rested too much and lost some of the muscle i needed to keep my joints from falling apart #and now i need to fight to build that shit back #which is gonna be hard and gonna suck #and ya #i dont have to do that shit #i could religate myself to a wheelchair in like 2 decades #but there is so much i wana see that i still havent #and so much of my life i have built around being able to run around #so idk how to function without that #and id personally rather learn to build a stronger body for myself that will take me on wild adventures for longer #rather than rush into the peace and acceptance i will inevitably face in the twilight of my life