#and i have gotten BETTER at forcing myself to eat but i basically only had bread fruit and a monster energy drink yesterday

[zippers]

wish i could gain weight without eating 😭😭😭 like a sims slider i just wanna gain like 15 pounds in 15 seconds is that too much to ask of my body?!?! apparently

#put on shorts i wore when i was 12 and they are TOO BIG #i dont know how much i weigh because i dont have a scale but i was just underweight a few weeks ago #and i have gotten BETTER at forcing myself to eat but i basically only had bread fruit and a monster energy drink yesterday #and by basically i mean... i know thats all i ate #but i mean i ate a lot of bread... like a bagel #half a loaf of french bread and several slices of rosemary sourdough #my mom bought me groceries which i so appreciate but she did not really... buy me healthy foods #like... 3 different bread products... nothing to put on the bread?! when i am in food funks 80% of my nutrition comes from hummus and guac #oh she did buy me soups but my microwave is broken but i literally havent been getting enough calories to HEAT THINGS ON THE STOVE!!!! #they said i might gain weight on zoloft which i was excited before but instead i lost the same amount of weight i lost this summer in half #the time #bc at least this summer i WANTED to eat i just wasnt given long enough breaks at work to eat ENOUGH food #and i was super active. now i am an art hermit not exercisng & going days where 90% of my calories are energy drinks and the occasional carb #i think its a side effect of the meds and not #disordered eating #but im tagging it as that anyway

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

I have covid (for the first time ever wtf) and I’m feeling sick and pathetic. Just thinkin’ bout how I have to take care of myself and I hate it. How do you think sugar daddy Joel would take care of our sugar baby reader without spending any money if she got Covid or the flu??

I need some fluff to get me thru. PS I love u and your writing so flipping much.

Sugar Daddy!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: mentions of illness, reader can eat chicken noodle soup, reader has hair that can be brushed away from her face

Timeline: this does not fit into the current TCOY story line and is just a separate drabble in the same universe!

[a/n: first of all, OH NO. I know how bad COVID sucks. (fun fact I've had it on five separate occasions, I basically collect a new round of it every time a new strain runs through our hospital). Please please please make sure you stay hydrated above all else! Obviously I don't know your medical history, but the best general advice is to not get dehydrated. Your body needs fluids to fight the good battle. second, I love YOU and I know this isn't much and it's not that great b/c I threw it together in fifteen minutes but I hope it makes you feel a little better, my love💜]

TCOY DRABBLE:

HOMEMADE IS BETTER THAN STORE BOUGHT

"happiness is homemade."

“Baby girl, I need you to sit up for me.” Joel hummed.

You were buried in the thick comforter of his bed feeling absolutely miserable. The cold had come on suddenly. A small cough, more irritating than anything else, spiraled into full body aches, a splitting migraine, and congestion so bad that it felt like your head was filled with concrete. Joel’s heavy hand brushed aside the hair matted to your forehead with dried sweat. Your fever was lingering last Joel checked, but the Nyquil he forced you to take with a bottle of water earlier was helping some.

Joel murmured your name once more and you just moaned in response. You felt the bed dip with his weight and his hand dragged up and down your back. The motion brought with it a comfort on par with medication itself. 

“You think you can eat somethin', sugar?” Joel asked.

“Maybe later.” You mumbled. “Sleepy.”

“That’s probably the Nyquil.” Joel replied. “I sent Riley to pick up some stuff from the store.”

You felt Joel lean over and his lips brushed against your temple. You shook your head, “You’re gonna get sick. I should quarantine alone.” You buried yourself deeper into his bed. With your nose stuffed like it was, you couldn’t smell his sheets and that bothered you more than it probably should’ve. “Don’t you have that meeting today too?”

“If you think I’m leavin' you like this, sugar, then that fever’s got you delusional.” Joel snorted. You felt the covers you had bundled yourself in begin to untangle and a whine that could only be described as pathetic slipped your lips. Before you knew it though, Joel was under the thick comforter with you and you felt yourself get pulled into his warm chest. “C’mon, baby girl. Sleep it off.”

You snuggled closer into his grip and focused on the random patterns he was rubbing on your shoulder with his hand. As a human, this was obviously not the first time you had gotten sick, but something about this time felt different. With Joel’s thick arms wrapped around you it dawned on you that it was him. The last time you were sick you were forced to take care of yourself and work through it. Having your sugar daddy around made you needy as all hell it seemed, but the comfort Joel immediately showed you had you melting against his chest.

“When I wake up, can I have soup?” You blurted the words out, half asleep.

Before sleep took you completely, you heard Joel’s deep chuckle, felt it rumble against you, “Sugar, you can have anythin' you want.”

When you woke up, you did feel marginally better. Joel was no longer in bed with you and you slowly sat up to rub at your face. You craved a hot shower to wash off the sweat and open your sinuses a bit more. A groan left your lips, still feeling crummy, and you began to climb out of bed.

“Whoa, whoa, pump the brakes.” Joel called out. He came into the room holding a tray and you chuckled at the sight of him. He set the tray down on the nightstand to usher you back into bed. “Where do you think you’re goin'?”

You gave him a tired smile, “Shower. I feel icky.”

“Icky?” Joel asked and you nodded. He chuckled and leaned forward to press his lips on your forehead again. He sat back and rubbed a hand against your leg. “Think you can stomach somethin' first?” You nodded again and Joel grabbed the tray. It looked like a bowl of chicken noodle soup, but not the kind that came out of a can of Campbell’s. “Here we go.”

You tilted your head, “Where’d you buy the soup?”

“Didn’t.” Joel grinned. “Made it.”

“You made it??”

“Uh huh.” It was honestly adorable how proud he looked of it. “Homemade is better than store bought, right? Gets you better quicker.”

You laughed, “I’m not so sure about the science behind that.”

“No, no. When I googled the recipe it definitely said this would get you better faster.” Joel teased.

You picked up the spoon and carefully blew the heat away before bringing it to your lips. The first thing you tasted was salt. A lot of salt. Too much salt. You coughed in response and tried not to twist your face to reveal the reaction. You cleared your throat and smiled, “Yum.”

Joel furrowed his brow, “What’s wrong? No good?”

“No. It’s⏤ It’s good.” You said quickly. “It’s… I like the, uh, the…” 

Joel grabbed the spoon from your fingers to take a sip himself and he immediately spluttered with a cough and groan, “What the fuck is that?” Your lips twitched up into another smile. “That tastes awful. Jesus Christ. Gimme that.”

He took the tray from you and set it on the nightstand again away from you. You set a hand on the side of your face while watching his face crumple into a grumpy look of annoyance. You shook your head, “What did it taste like as you were making it?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know. While you were making it did it taste okay?” You clarified. Joel narrowed his eyes at you in thought and you tilted your head. “…Did you taste it while making it?”

“You’re supposed to eat it while you make it??”

You laughed, “Not eat. Just taste.”

“Shit.” Joel scoffed. “I ate some of the chicken and it was good.” You reached out and cupped his face. He looked annoyed with himself, but at your touch the grumpy demeanor morphed into a soft look of concern and disappointment. Joel sighed and turned his head to press a kiss to your palm before leaning into your touch again. “I’m so sorry, sugar. Just wanted to do somethin' nice for you myself rather than just buy…”

You shook your head, “This was nice. I loved it.”

“There is no way you loved that soup. It was just salt, damn it.”

“No, but I love that you tried.” You replied. “It’s the effort that counts.”

“That’s just what people say when they fuck up.” He grumbled.

You leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose, “You said the homemade version would make me feel better, and this has definitely made me feel better, daddy.”

Joel wrapped his hand around the back of your neck and stared softly for a moment before his smile returned. “You missed my lips, sugar.”

“I already told you. I’m icky.”

“Don’t care. Still want you.”

“You are already pushing your luck.” You scoffed in amusement. “You are gonna end up sick.”

Joel pulled you closer, and even at full strength you’d never be capable of refusing this man. He paused with his lips just barely touching yours. “I’ll risk it.” Joel’s lips sealed against yours tenderly. A soft kiss of comfort rather than of passion. A wordless act of reassurance that he was there. Joel’s tongue just barely brushed against yours before he leaned back and left you wanting more. He hummed, “You taste like salt.”

“Yeah, gee, I wonder whose fault that is.”

#joel miller #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #sugar daddy!joel miller x reader #sugar daddy!joel miller #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #take care of you

[henneseyhoe]

COUNTRY LOVIN’| Cookin’ Soul

1 2 3

✮✮✮✮

Sometimes Sorie hated admitting that she was the only one who cooked, but If she didn’t cook, Buck wouldn’t eat. Unless it was something simple like an apple, or cucumbers and vinegar, the man wasn’t gonna eat. He did attempt to learn how to cook, realizing that he came from a generation that believed men shouldn’t be in the kitchen, and he wanted to change that so his daughter never thought she was only limited to catering and baring children like most older southern women thought of themselves. Of course he’s a man, so he didn’t realize it on his own, his own divorce being what led him to open his mind a little more.

Ultimately, he failed at his attempts. Some people just aren’t meant to cook. Sorie had memories from ages as young as thirteen when he would accidentally burn the chicken and they’d just have to eat rice and beans instead. She never complained though, it was still good—alright eats, plus she knew how hard he worked.

Didn’t stop her from calling her mother just to gossip about what had happened though.

Sorie would be up half of the night telling her all about dinner, the woman getting a hoot out of her ex husband not being able to do something as simple as baking chicken. Wasn’t cause she hated him or anything, she just found it funny knowing he still couldn’t cook for shit after all these years.

At the end of the conversation, Shonda would apologize for her daughter not being able to enjoy a complete meal after a long day of farm work she was basically forced to do. She wished she could bring something else over for the young girl to eat, but she was an entire hour away. It was another reason she wished she brought her only child when she left town.

It took Shonda a long time to accept her daughter wanting to stay on the farm with Buck, but she knew how much her daughter loathed the city. She thought their air was too thick and weird smelling, and the people were rude for no reason. She couldn’t take a breath of fresh air without smelling something that made her nose scrunch. Shonda agreed. She guessed she felt that way cause she’s never really been outside the low country.

Shonda honestly didn’t wanna bring her into an environment she didn’t wanna be in either, nor did she really wanna be there herself, but it was either the city or find someone to build her a house on her grandfathers land, and that would cost an arm and a leg these days. She refused to ask for Bucks help to build one either. Once she had finally gotten a deal on a home, she moved, but she felt she cried for forty days and forty nights before anything got better.

Apart from the circumstances that led her to learning how to cook, Sorie grew to actually love cooking and other activities related. She loved trying new recipes and new flavors, anything that would give people a chance to praise her on her hard work. She thought if she worked all that while, somebody better give her a compliment or two. after all, she didn’t have to cook anything for anyone and could have just worried about herself.

She wouldn’t do that though, she loved her dad too much.

✮✮✮✮

Closing the heated oven, I let out a tired huff, leaning against the kitchen counter. I had been cooking for about an hour now, and I was exhausted. I honestly wanted to just say forget it and let my father take the macaroni out of the oven, but I already knew how that would go.

My hair had been tied up into a puff to help me not get hot too quick, knowing I would have started sweating and felt disgusting by the time it was time to eat if I didn’t do it, and there was nothing I hated more than that feeling. Only downside is that my edges started to curl up, the perfect swoops being ruined. sighing, I walk out of the kitchen, heading into the bathroom to quickly get myself together.

I began refreshing myself, laying a cold towel over my face to finish cooling off my head, then I redid my ponytail.

While in the middle of doing what I felt was needed, I heard three soft knocks on the front door. I couldn’t stop my eyes from rolling to the back of my head, another loud huff exiting my mouth.

‘Did people not have manners anymore? Who comes over to someone’s house, uninvited, all at 8pm? How dare they?!’ I thought, my eyebrows scrunching together as I tried to focus on getting my hair under control.

Three more knocks came after that.

“Daddy! Get the door, please?!” I shout, no response following apart from another set of knocks that had my patients, or lack there of, wearing thinner than a 35 year old white man’s hairline.

“Daddy!” I called again and sighed, attempting to toss my hair back into the puff that had failed, my hair sliding right out of the hair wrapper. I was completely irritated.

I grabbed up a brush and started brushing around the edges, hoping that’d be enough to make it stay put. The brushing was aggressive and so were the harsh bristles scratching away at my scalp. my arms were already burning from the constant flicking of my wrist, desperately trying to get that perfect puff I had earlier. It was complete sensory overload.

Tossing the brush somewhere back into my hair bin, I stretched and stretched that hair wrapper, getting it as tight as I could around my thick hair.

Then, POP.

The wrapped broke. falling into the sink as I watched it all happen. The scene replayed in my head, one in slow motion and the other in real time. Apparently my brain wanted to dramatize the already dramatic and stressful situation. letting go of my hair, I took a deep breath, trying to clear my head and stop the pressure rising in my throat.

Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.

Knock, Knock, Knock

“DADDY!!” I yell, stomping out of the bathroom to see if the old man had made it to the door yet, and of course, he hadn’t. I jogged out of the halls bathroom and into the foyer, grunting while unlocking all the locks. “Hello?!” Flinging the door open, my eyebrows immediately knitted together as I looked at the pair of men, both faces looking like different versions of each other. Another embarrassing moment to add to the books, remembering how my hair probably looks right now. “Umm, can I help y’all?” I ask, my hand immediately going up to fluff out my hair into a decent afro instead.

“Well, if dinner is ready, then yes!” Tony beamed happily, but my question was aimed more so for Trevante, as if him being with his father was a surprise. “And you?” I averted my eyes to Trevante, a bit of attitude in my voice. “It’s like that, huh?” The man mumbles, relaying the same attitude while ignoring my question and pushing passed me to walk into the house.

My face conceals the emotion I felt, but I really wanted to push them right back outside as they walked right passed me. “Finally y’all got here!” My father exclaims, coming down the stairs while finishing up with tucking his button up into his pants. Tony laughs and daps the man up with a hug to go with it, Trevante just giving him a handshake.

I shook my head at the scene and closed the door. “It would have been nice to know we were having guests” I say, crossing my arms. It was like I had whispered, neither of the older men turning or stopping their conversation to hear what I had to say. It stung.

I turn on my heels and walk into the kitchen to save me from saying anything I had no business saying because it would have for sure rose the dead with all the profanities waiting behind my lips.

While checking on the food, I hear laughter behind me, making me pop my head up from the oven. “You were just too cute as a baby” Trevante speaks, holding a picture of me when I was three. In the picture was me and my grandmother picking flowers from a field behind her house. We went back there almost every Sunday evening to do that, but with old age and her health on the line, we slowed down. We haven’t picked any flowers since I was a teenager.

I gasp and drop my oven mittens, speeding over to him with intentions to snatch my possession away, but he quickly held it over his head, his hand reaching and touching the ceiling. “Where’d you find that?!” I struggle to grab it from him.

“Where you think? Your room”

My eyes widened. If this was a cartoon, steam would have blown out of my ears right then. “You went in my room? How’d you even sneak in there?” I sneered. He obviously found humor in my agitation and confusion.

“Easy. My pops never pays attention, and yo’ daddy is blind” he smiles childishly and I suck my teeth. I stood on my tippy toes, even jumped a few times to get the picture back, but to no avail. “Give it!” I say, backing up from him and holding my hand out. he shakes his head, dangling the picture above my head.

“Trevante, give. It. Back. No-”

“Or what?” He interrupts, stepping to me. The smile on his face was wiped clean off as he stared down at me, my knees getting weak. I leaned on the kitchens island me, our eye contact never breaking from there.

I didn’t know what I would do, but I knew what I wanted to do. He chuckles at my silence. not even a breath from me being heard, but I was definitely breathing, taking in the sweet, yet spiced scent of him.

“Say please, ma”

Talk about a tease. Only thing that could get him to stop was the new feel of a presence behind him, interrupted by the two other men suddenly walking into the kitchen. I took my chance and jumped high enough to snatch the picture from his hand, then push him away from me, turning back to the stove.

“Woah! Y’all bet not be scrappin in THIS house like y’all two strangers” Tony said, raising an eyebrow at us.

“You only said that cause my baby would win” My dad says, Tony kissing his teeth. “Oh shut up. You just better be lucky I don’t got no daughters!” Tony argued, sitting at the dinner table, the two others following behind him. “Lucky?! They would have inherited yo’ skinny ass arms!”

“Skinny?! And what would you say bout Trevante, huh? The boy built like John Henry!” They all bursted into laughter and I chuckled, beginning to turn off all of the stove eyes to prepare plates.

“We all know he got all that muscle from Chrissy strong ass”

“Aye, man! That’s my momma you talkin’ ‘bout” Tre interjected, Tony shaking his head. “He only saying that cause my ‘strong ass’ wife decked him senior year for calling her fat”

“Man, my ears was ringing after that!”

Interrupting their trash talking by sitting the plates on the table, I set mine down first, then everybody else’s. I’ll be damed if I slaved away in the kitchen for them to get the first plate. I put Trevante’s down last, smiling proudly at my presentation. Macaroni, string beans, brown rice, and baked chicken. I knew exactly what he liked on his plate, and the proportions he needed to fill him, as I did everyone else’s.

“Thank you” He thanked simply, his hand softly grazing my thigh under my skirt, making me suppress a soft moan. Was I that touch deprived? Probably.

I smiled softly, sitting down next to him, a little hope in the back of my mind that he’d do it again.

“Babygirl, this looks amazing” my father compliments, Tony humming in agreement as he takes a bite of his chicken. “Y’all actin’ like it’s a surprise that she threw down in there” Trevante says, doing a quick prayer over his food before digging in.

“Right, y’all got me thinkin I lost my magic touch for a moment” I joked, starting to eat. “Never” Tony shook his head, licking the juices from his chicken off his thumb.

✮✮✮✮

“Tell that one story, buck! You know what I’m talking about!” Tony shouted, Buck shaking his head and dismissing him with the wave of his hand, knowing the story would never end if they started it. “No, Tony! Leave me alone!” It had been an hour after dinner and both the older men had spent that whole time roasting each other like usual, drunk on whatever Buck pulled out of his old cabinet.

Sorie looked between the two loud men, her head cupped in her hands as she half listened to them go on about whatever for the passed hour. Trevante, on the other hand was even less interested in whatever they were talking about, tired of hearing about their egotistical trips when they were his age.

“Sorie, you don’t know the story of how yo’ daddy got his name?” Tony questioned, leaning into the table intriguingly as if she had said something interesting. Smelling all the alcohol on his breath, she leaned back, not wanting to get a whiff of anymore.

“No? I’m supposed to?” She questioned, again half interested.

“Lemme tell you!” Tony shouts, excitement lacing in his voice. Sorie held in a loud laugh, rolling her lips inwards to stop it from slipping out and interrupting the story. Trevante sighs and takes a sip of his water, already knowing where this conversation was headed since he had heard the story 100 times before.

“Now everybody know Jeremiah got a big ass forehead like he got antlers attached to the muhfucka, but that ain’t why we call him that, so I digress! but listen,”

Tony started, laughter immediately being heard around the table.

“Not the government name” Sorie, giggled, Buck playfully hitting Tony on his arm as he continues the story without missing a beat. “Growin up, we was hardheaded. We wasn’t soft like some of this new generation, and Buck was the worst out of all of us!”

“I wasn’t that bad, don’t make it seem like that” Buck interrupts with his argument, which Tony disagreed with.

“You were horrible! You busted that boys head wide open for a damn bill you thought he stole, just for you to find out the fifty was in yo’ damn pocket the whole time!”

As Sorie listened to the story, she feels Trevante tap her leg, then pull on her skirt, attempting to get her attention. She looks over at him and he makes a gestured nod with his head for her to follow his lead, so she did. Getting up without another word for the current conversation, the two walk outside, neither of the other other men bothering to ask where they were planning to go since they were too busy debating on whether their actions back then were justified or not.

“Yo’ daddy sure can talk a head off” Trevante speaks, sitting on the porch steps. Sorie closes the screen door behind them to avoid letting in any unwanted bugs, then sat next to him, straightening her skirt over her knees. “Tuh, I know you not talkin’. Yo’ daddy just spent fifteen minutes talking about Cadillacs and the 80s for no reason” Shaking his head, Trevante starts to chuckle, and Sorie could just feel that he was gonna say something condescending about himself or something completely out of pocket. “His favorite typa truck, and his favorite decade before I ruined the fun”

Sorie looks at him with no expression, Trevante just he shrugging, taking a pack of cigs and a lighter out of his pocket. “Don’t say that, Tre. It’s not right, and it’s not true”

“Just cause it’s not right, don’t mean it ain’t true” he says bluntly, tucking the cig between his lips and lighting it up. She makes a face of both sadness and disgust. Disgust for the pack of cigs, and sadness for his attitude towards his relationship with his father. Sorie always tried to stay off the topic of Trevante’s iffy relationship between him and his father, but lately it seems to find it’s way into their conversations, plaguing whatever good vibe they had going. He always maneuvered around telling her too much about it, and she tried not to pry it out of him out of respect for his comfortability and boundaries. It’d been that way since their teenage years.

When they were up, they were up. Most likely because of some huge accomplishment Trevante had came across, but when they were down, they were separated so they wouldn’t kill each other. Right now, they seemed to be alright. Aware of their situation, but uncaring of it considering they were use to the behavior of each other. She felt bad for him, meanwhile he felt bad for her and the dynamic she had with her own father.

“Okay…” She whispers and gives up on the topic, looking down at her sandals. He takes a pull from his cigarette, then blows the smoke up into the air. Sorie’s nose scrunched at the smell of the smoke.“Yuck” She shivered childishly and covered her nose.

She hated the smell of cigarettes. It reminded her of before her grandmother stopped smoking for her health, the same cigarettes being the reason for her lung problems now. Her grandmother always shooed her off while she smoked, but Sorie’s argument was she could still smell it through the door of her room.

Trevante looks over at her with slight displeasure, rolling his eyes. “Oh please, Sorie” he says, Sorie shaking her head as he uncaringly took another puff. The more her nose burned from the smell, the more she got fed up with his disrespectful habit. Disrespectful to both himself, and her nose. “Jesus gave you a shiny new body twenty five years ago, and you’re killing it right now” She argues, grabbing the cigar from out of his mouth and throwing it to the side, staring at him. The man looked back at her with an equal amount of disrespect, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Little girl, you must be outta yo rabbit ass mind” He squints and she looks away, still feeling his dark eyes on her. Shivers crawled up her back like a cluster of spiders as the breeze of warm wind picked up around them, though that wasn’t what caused her shivers. It was really his choice of words to call her a “little girl”. She might’ve hated that more than the nasty look he gave her.

She stares off into the swaying field of sweet grass, unmoved by his irritation. “I’m not a little girl, and I hate when you smoke” she says with no attitude, yet it still had a very large presence in her words.

“And I hate when you tell me not to smoke. now yo’ rude ass owe me another cigarette” he shot back instantly, her head swiftly turning back to him so she could give him a mean mug. She was more than willing to go get a switch off of a tree and whip him like her grandmother did, if he pushed her to it.

“It’s bad for you, Tre! Seriously!” he shakes his head at her, hesitating to close the carton of cigarettes.

Her face softens with a pout, making him kiss his teeth, tucking his pack of smokes back into his pocket.

“Fine, damn” He huffs quietly and she smiles, now satisfied.

‘If only he’d listen like this all the time’ She thought.

The silence of her victory stood for only a few seconds before he started to snicker, switching his sitting position and leaning his back against the porches railing. She raises a brow at him, confused. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just…You care about me” He smiles, becoming his playful self once again. She blows off at his assumption and laughs, waving him off with her hand.

“Whatever, boy. I just don’t wanna see you croak from lung cancer at 40. Dark, but very, very true, and don’t think I forgot about you having asthma”

He lets out a hearty laugh, clapping his hands together. He wasn’t surprised at all that she remembered that detail about him. Trevante recalled how Sorie use to press him like she was his mother back in middle school for not packing his inhaler for gym class, but since growing up it had calmed down immensely.

“Just say you care about me! No shame in that. I wanna hear you say it, actually”

Rolling her eyes, she couldn’t help but agree. Mostly because she knew he’d never let it go until she gave in and confirmed what he always knew. “Okay, damn! I care about you and your lungs, who cares?” She fussed, softly pushing him, which his strong stature barely moved from.

“I do! It’s adorable”

He compliments, but all Sorie did was cringe. She let out a breathy laugh, shaking her head. “Adorable?” She repeats and he nods. “Yeah..like, cute.” joking as if she didn’t understand the meaning of “Adorable”, he nudges her arm before noticing her quick mood change. studying her facial expressions for a moment and it’s obvious resentment of the word, he hums. “Oh, You don’t like that word…”

She shakes her head. “No, not really”

“Why not?”

Shrugging, she sighs. “I dunno. Makes me feel like a child, I guess”

He hums once again, nodding. “Mm, right. You a grown woman” he teases and she smiles, nodding. “A grown ass woman” she reiterates, snapping her fingers with playful sass.

“I see that. A fine one too..” He says, causing her to pause, all the sass she just had leaving her like it saw a storm coming. The new look on her face amused him. He loved how timid she became around him when he said certain things to her. One minute she was cool, and they were just two friends talking, the next they both thought about something a little deeper.

She’d had been called fine many times before, but when he said it, she felt different. like there was more to it than a simple compliment from a friend. Those same butterflies that loved fluttering around in her tummy made a grand appearance for what felt like the millionth time today, getting her all warm inside.

“Stop it, Tre” She looks away, her ears getting hot. He keeps going though, scooting closer to her and bursting her personal space bubble. The longer she waited to speak again, the closer he got until his lips were nearly grazing her ear. “You blushin’ for me, Sorie?” He queries, his voice smooth like velvet, vibrating her body. She felt like electricity ran through her with how he enunciated her name.

Letting out a sharp gasp, her thighs closed in on themselves, the girl jumping up out of her spot and brushing her skirt off. Clearing her throat suddenly, she looks down at the man who had such a cocky grin on his face. It heated her knowing that he knew just what to do with and to her, and yet barely did anything.

Thinking of something else to say, she crosses her arms over her chest. “Anyway! It’s getting late. Take your drunken father and get off my property, please and thank you” Sorie states firmly, but Trevante could see right through the act.

He laughs, standing up as she walks back into the house to avoid any more conversation of the night, afraid it’d end in something a little more eventful than him just whispering in her ear.

✮✮✮✮

#country lovin’ #henneseyhoe #trevante rhodes x reader #trevante rhodes #trevante rhodes smut #black fanfic writer #black fanfiction #black!reader #masterlist #black actors #black reader #black!fem!reader #black!oc #smut masterlist #trevante rhodes x oc #oc smut #oc x character

[loverlylight]

Sometimes it's just... I dunno, odd trying to build up to being a functioning human again. And I have made a lot of progress, but sometimes it's odd what I still haven't got back, if that makes sense? Putting a read more because this got long and talks about suicidal ideation and all that.

Like, eight months ago, I was just blank. I could respond physically to stuff, but I was in so much emotional pain my mind was just not really there, I couldn't speak much and from what I've been told when I did speak it was very dull and unemotional. I couldn't force myself to do anything I did not have to do, and my body was also barely functioning because of all the breathing issues and weakness and the fact that I was somehow hoping I could starve myself to death without anyone noticing which yeah is stupid but I wasn't in the best state of mind, and anyway that resulted in me several times just sitting motionless for hours doing nothing. There were multiple times where I'd go days without eating, or forcing myself to eat but being unable to keep from crying because I knew eating was keeping me alive which I did not want, and I obviously wasn't keeping track but mom estimated that days when I would eat I'd have like 500 calories a day. And I either wanted to die or was thinking about how I could follow through on that desire in a way that would cause the least amount of trouble for people. (I remember one time, since I live on the second floor, I was weighing jumping out the window but decided that not only would that likely not flat out kill me but that we live right near this tiny playground our complex has and I was like okay I don't want to risk a kid coming across me and getting traumatized or anything. Also had a serious discussion with my sister about whether it would be better for her & the family if I died for my body to be found or not.) There were a lot of times when I got up to the edge of taking action, sometimes I would have tried if my body had more energy, and then when I finally did try but stopped myself in time, and... I dunno. Basically, for the longest time I was completely unable to do pretty much anything.

And now, like, I'm getting better at stuff. I can't be anywhere too crowded or without having a way to leave if things get to be too much, but I'm able to drive again, and more than just down the street. I'm able to interact with the world and other people, even though it's still kinda shaky and different. I consistently eat two meals a day, I still fall down multiple times a day but I'm able to go on a full walk around the block, but I'm just... I just find it kinda weird what my brain's doing, like I'm able to take some initiative to connect with other people but it's a lot... shallower on my end, for lack of a better term. I still care about people very much, but the ability to do something about that care is not very strong. Like, gifts, in past years I've put a lot of thought into not just the gift but also like how I'd wrap it and the type of tag and all that, but this year while I still got people gifts, I didn't have the mental energy to put in the thought I'd have liked to. Anyway, I have gotten this far and lack of sleep is catching up to me so, uh, bye.

#my mind is an odd place

[killerandhealerqueen]

39, 40, 43

& hellooooooo how are you bby? i asked many questions because i LOVE hearing about your writing process and all the tidbits you share

Aw, thank you bby! I love answering questions about my writing, it's so much fun. Please feel free to send more!

39. Is any aspect of your writing process inspired by other writers or people? If so, who?

Um...no, actually. My writing and my writing process is all me

40. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

Oh yeah. I mainly tend to reread my own fanfics but there are some that I go back to like ALL the time. There's one fic for the CSI: Miami fandom that I've visited like...120 times? I mean, there are like 22 chapters so like, majority of the visits comes from like reading each chapter but like...still

43. If you take/write prompts: what’s your favorite prompt fic that you’ve written?

Ooo...see now this is hard...I've gotten a lot of really good prompts when I used to take prompts...so it's hard to choose. So I'll just give you a few of my faves.

The Moon Shines Bright Over the Woodlands - Elven au

Eye for an Eye - Mafia au

My Everything - hurt/comfort

Chen Yuzhi is MINE - Possessive/Jealous Jiang Yuelou

"Z" for Zhan - Assassin au

Blood In, Blood Out - Mafia au

Violence Is Never the Answer...Except When It Is - Mafia au

Wait, We're Married?! - first ever Devil Judge au

questions for fic writers | send me asks

And then you had tagged me in the "Fanfic Author Asks" so I will answer your question here

42. How do you get over writer's block?

Ah, now this a good question...the only time I ever really had "writer's block" was when I was in a really bad mental headspace. And what I did then was I had gone home to see my family then for like a short vacation (I also had a job interview back home so it like kinda worked out) but I basically like just unplugged/relaxed/spent time with family (and we had all gotten covid at the time so we REALLY spent time together). But yeah, just unplug, go for a walk, get some sun, eat something, hug a friend/family member...just do not think about your work/fic. And I know that's gonna be hard because it's going to be like a looming, negative nagging shadow in the back of your mind, but you gotta beat it off with a stick and just let yourself relax.

Because with me, when I was fighting with my fic Monster Like Me, I basically worked on it for SO LONG and put so much pressure on myself for the fic to be GOOD that I basically sabotaged myself (and ended up deleting the outline/draft to give myself a completely new slate). Sometimes you gotta just step away and breathe.

But also, there's this thing I've seen going around tumblr that's like "if you have writer/art block for longer than a certain period of time, you should probably see a doctor because you're depressed" so like...yeah. If writer's block persists longer than normal for you (if you ever get writer's/art block)...maybe go see a professional if you can't get excited about your work. Or go read someone else's work. Maybe that'll bounce you back. Either way, taking a step back from your own work and letting yourself breathe and think will do a lot better than you sitting and staring at your screen forcing your story to work. Force never works with fics. Ever. I've learned the hard way. If they don't wanna work, they won't.

Fanfic Author Asks |send me asks

#sass answers #claw 🤔 #questions for fic writers #fanfic author asks

[demonslayedher]

What are some blood demon art concepts you find interesting but they weren’t explored in the canon?

This was one of the Asks that made me go, "uuuuuuhhhhh..."

The reason for this is that I find myself most creative in response to a problem. For example, in this fic I came up with the Mirror Demon because I wanted a demon that might be fought with the final form of Flower Breath. That's why in a lot of hypotheticals or potential AUs I'm asked about, my first response is to set the perimeters and figure out how to work within those constraints, such as asking what would be in-character. Constraints drive creativity, like how well you can write a haiku within a given set of rules.

What I'm less good at is divergent creativity: coming up with something out of nothing, no limits.

That brings me to how I'd like to answer this Ask: with a breakdown of my brainstorming methods!

A common phenomenon is that children are better at divergent thinking--imagining all the possibilities--than adults, who have had that ability beaten out of them by the emphasis on "rightness" and that some ideas are "stupid." It takes exercising this part of the brain to be able to think in more original ways instead of just "the best" ways. This page breaks it down pretty simply and explains it with the paperclip test/game, and here's more ideas for other exercises and different kinds of goals you could potentially have for creative thinking.

When I am doing a group brainstorming exercise, be it in a classroom or office setting, what I find works best is a leader/moderator at the board who can catch things and write fast and potentially legibly (within reason for how fast they're writing), and the method should be agreed upon in advance--for example, mind-mapping, which uses branches from a main idea to show relationships between ideas. Typically, this means starting with a main idea in the center and branching out into different categories as more ideas come to you. Another methods is writing things in a list format, thinking of as many things as you can in a given category. These are basics found in any cheesy corporate "how to increase creativity" guide, but they are helpful in easing people into how to brainstorm.

The challenge is to set a time frame--short enough that you are forced to think fast, long enough that it gets painful. The time frame is up to you, whether it's setting a timer for one minute or however long it takes for you to write while eating melting gelato. Okay, maybe in a formal setting you'll set a timer to keep everyone on the same page.

While you might have a different ultimate goal in the purpose of your brainstorming, what you're going for here is not quality, but quantity--as many ideas as possible--and that means not throwing any stupid ideas out. If anything, the stupid ideas are where magic starts to happen. It's the shift from "basic stuff anyone could think of off the top of their head" to "oh, I never would had thought of this otherwise." You have to force yourself to think past the initial, obvious-feeling, correct-feeling ideas to access what's more unusual, and that usually means some stupid ideas first. It's like dusting out the cobwebs of this part of your brain you aren't usually accessing. I've also heard this process described as tossing out your first ten ideas, at least in a creative script-writing approach.

Refining your ideas, convergent thinking, comes later. But only after you've gotten some ideas to work with!

The reason a legible mind-map or list works well in a group setting is because this means everyone can observe the ideas after the initial "hurry, hurry, think, think" stage. Everyone can discuss them and decide which ones to throw out, and even draw lines showing more connections and circling whatever ideas you want to come back to.

But do I look like a corporate board room to you? No. I ate gelato today while writing this:

When it's just me using it, I don't care about legibility, and I use a mix of mind-mapping arrows and lists and flow of consciousness. While playing with story ideas I might whole pages of doodles that look like this with fragments of character lines. This gave me a way to observe my own thoughts about Demon Blood Techniques and their unlimited potential, and I found that I kept myself thinking quickly by asking questions and then answering myself.

Also, I got lines like "Skunk demon" and "so now we're the Magic School Bus."

Some of the themes I found interesting were the repeated effects of sound waves (Kyogai, Nakime, Flute Demon), and infinity (the fortress, the ability to regenerate, the ability to replicate, etc.). One of the themes I thought deeper on was how much I love Kyogai's abilities, and not just Kyogai himself. For as much as other Blood Techniques are based on things we've seen in other media (being trapped in good dreams, alternate dimensional spaces, spider threads, body duplicates, illusions, etc)., Kyogai's abilities were very unexpected, but also had a rationale to them. However, instead of the sound waves only changing the orientation and spatial locations of the rooms, he also had big air claws, which otherwise would seem like they have nothing to do with the orientation of a room. In the first place, air claws and redecorating seem they have nothing to do with drums. It's the combination of these factors that make Kyogai's Blood Technique so impressive and refreshing.

Once I made that observation, I made a couple of lists of potential means that a demon might use and ways that a Demon Slayer or prey might be overcome, and then I connected them semi-randomly. I got connections like "temperature" and "memories," like how a demon might raise the temperature of a room little by little and call to a demon slayer's mind memories of their childhood, until they are completely overwhelmed with that last summer they spent in childhood innocence as they are in reality boiling alive, and "color" with "invading body," like if a chameleon-like demon can match the color of a Nichirin blade then it can gain control over the swordsman's hands and forearms, whatever grip created that color.

My favorite, though, was "fingernails" and "suffocation," because it gave me a very vivid mental image of a demon sweeping its hand like it's going to grab a swordsman's face, but draws away just shy of touching them. However, with its long fingernails, it's grabbed the Breath just about to enter a swordsman, and pulls it right out of them.

Horrific, am I right!?!?

So anyway. That's what I got from my divergent thinking experiment today. It's the kind of thing I tell myself I need to do more of when trying to write my own original fiction, but kind of like physical exercise, I think about it more than I actually do it. ^^;

[artinandwritin]

Time for Siri lore! Warning: talk about miscarriages and stillbirths/death. This is mainly just a post to get the bean's lore all straight for myself cuz i tend to forget her lore lmao

In the 14 years between having Niv and having Helene, our lovely bean Siri went through some shit. And if I say she had a shitty time, she really had a shitty time. So, here we have a little timeline of all the shitty things that happened to her in those long, long 14 years.

April 1023: her baby boy, little Niv, stopped breathing two hours after his birth and she was forced to say goodbye to him - without the knowledge he hadn't actually passed, he just had really bad lungs. From this followed a very, very bad depression; she lost a lot of weight just by. Not eating, and didn't really talk for months on end. She just wasn't there mentally. Next to that, her mother and grandmother finally had the courage to tell her childloss and miscarriages were very... Common in their family.

July 1023: Siri's father, Felix, passed away after a fire in his bakery. Even if her father was kind of a dick, Siri loved him deeply and was so upset he'd never see her or her sister have the life he had wanted for them, or that he had spend his final months sharing the agony of his lost grandson. Even more so, Siri's sister, Lilja, now had to grow up quicker than anyone had liked, being forced to take over the bakery without any formal training. Siri and Gustav often tried to help, but there was only so much they could do, which broke Siri's heart.

January 1024: during her depression, Siri had accidentally gotten pregnant again, in September the year prior, only six months after having lost Niv. She was, no surprise, devastated, stressed, not wanting to go through that whole thing again out of fear of losing another baby. Unfortunately, things went wrong from the very start. She was forced to go on bedrest after fainting during a party in the Great Hall, with as little visitors as possible as to not plague her stressed-ridden mind. That only worsened her situation, and after five long and painful months, her stillborn son was born. She and Gustav named him Konrad, after Siri's late grandfather, both grieving, even though Siri had been saying something would go wrong from the very beginning. They still had some hope.

February 1026: After a short pregnancy of just three months, Siri suffered a miscarriage. Before that, she hadn't even been able to get pregnant, despite trying and trying. This time, everything had felt right, or at least, better than with little Konrad. However, after just a month of finding out about the kiddo, Siri just collapsed one evening after dinner, no warning whatsoever. Dress stained in blood, crying as she realised what had happened. She had wanted this little baby so badly - she couldn't understand why this kept happening to her. After this, she had Gustav promise to keep the loss of their baby a secret, but things eventually got out. No-one told GusSiri that, though, not wanting to saddle mainly Siri with more grief than she was already suffering. However, Siri's silent anger was growing at this point - she just didn't know why she couldn't have her own healthy baby, and some families had more than they could count on both hands. She started noticing the whispers from people in the village, heard voices say her marriage had failed after so many years without kids - they didn't know how hard she tried, how careful she was, how in love with every baby she had lost she still was.

July 1026: Siri suffered another miscarriage and despite not having realised she had been pregnant before this, she did recognise the pains, the type of blood, and the way her body basically rejected her little baby. At this point, she actively avoided being intimate with her hubby, cuz it just felt like every time they did smt like that, would just result in heartache. At this point, she was just completely done, not even trying to hide her pain and exhausting - it actively made her snap more than she liked to admit. Deep inside, she felt useless; why couldn't she do what everyone else seemed to could? A few months after this, she finally broke. She couldn't do it anymore, wouldn't even try. She and Gustav wouldn't try for a family anymore, as it would spare them a whole lot of heartbreak and time.

August 1027: despite having said they wouldn't try anymore, Siri got pregnant again in December. This time, however, everything seemed to be going alright. Despite the usual morning sickness and occasional discomfort, her baby grew well enough, and in August, Seer finally had the baby she had longed for; her daughter, Sunniva. After this, she slowly, but surely, got herself back. She was happier, always seen with her little girl in a sling around her chest. Her marriage got a boost too, having seemingly returned to that playful type of love she and Gustav had been missing for a while - the two of them weren't often seen without one another, either holding hands or talking joyfully about everything and nothing.

December 1030: however, things eventually did crash again. After having decided Sunni needed a little sibling and a seemingly healthy pregnancy, Siri went into labor and everything took a turn for the worst scenario; her little one was turned and didn't want to budge. By this point, after more physical pain than she had ever been in, Siri was nearing losing conscious and the healers had to let poor Gustav make a decision if he wanted to safe their kid or his wife. In a utter panic and stress, he just decided he wanted Seer to be okay, for their three year old daughter, and also a little bit for himself. After procedure and after learning what had happened to her precious little baby when waking up, Siri absolutely broke. At first, she blamed Gustav for their kid's death, but after calming down, she realised he had only done it because he didn't want to lose her, nor wanted Sunni to grow up without her mother. Still, things hurt her more than she liked to admit. That poor girl.

Between 1034 and 1039: Siri's mom, Elisabeth, got sick. Very sick. Siri became her primary caregiver, despite having a young daughter to care for. Her sister, Lilja, was off being a sailor at that point, and as the only close family member, the task fell to Siri. While tired most often, Siri stayed positive; the healers had told her her mom would be okay, and she liked to believe that - she did believe it. Eventually, Elisabeth got better again, but soon fell back into the illness, until it eventually killed her in 1039. In the last few months, Lilja stayed home in New Berk with her daughters and husband to help Siri take care of their mother, and after her passing, they pulled each other through it.

May-June 1037: Niv, Siri's long lost son, returns, making her happier than she had ever been. During this, she was also expecting her final child, who would be born in June, little Helene. Everything was falling into place for Siri; her little family was all complete, after all those years. Suddenly, it all seemed worth it for our poor girl.

@rosiethedragongeek for the tags! In advance. Im sorry. Im very sorry. For. Y'know. Hurting the baby girl as much as im doing. I promise the symbolism of Siri finally completing her family and being able to have her healthy daughter as soon as Niv returns is worth is. At least for me.

This is why we have the happy au.

#siri vínteri #artinandwritin's lore #gussiri

[akiradolce]

Subathon Over!

After 55 hours, my subathon comes to a close! There's a lot I learned from this experience. The first is that I'm able to do it, so that was a huge confidence boost! Even though, I found mild success with my subathon, there's a few things that I was upset with as well...

The first thing was that I was sick, so that was a huge upsetting part for me. I wasn't able to be 100% at full entertainer mode since I still had to focus on being healthy. That means a lot of the more physically demanding things were not possible. So no karaoke, no Ring Fit. I even had forcing push-ups/sit-ups/squats as an incentive. I ended up doing them, but it was the most I could do.

Another thing was that even with an active chat, I ended up feeling very lonely. I wasn't able to interact with my friends outside of the stream. The only few times I was able to was during BRBs and just before going to bed. Even on waking up, I immediately had to check on the stream to make sure it was still up or that no hate raids and trolls decided to cause trouble.

There's not much time for other people when tending to an "always on" stream. I was only able to speak to another person once through the entire 55 hours, which was after a friend raided my stream and I openly invited them to join since they weren't planning on going to bed afterwards. I didn't even speak to family at all during the whole thing.

Food was also a huge issue. From my experience with the stream, time was precious. Time away from the stream meant losing retention and potential contributions. I always felt like I was in a rush to get things done. Because I was sick, I also constantly needed water to refresh my system, even more than usual to help recover from whatever sickness I caught. I wanted to eat bit more substantial meals like pasta and chicken, but those are things that you can't just set on a stove and come back to. I didn't have roommates or family that were able to help or cook for me, so that was a huge struggle.

My advice if I were to ever do this again, and to anyone reading that's looking to do a subathon, is to make food ahead of time. Make a huge pot of chili in a slow cooker, get a rice cooker, buy family sized lasagna that take like 1hr30 to cook in an oven. Depending on the success of your subathon, DoorDash could be your friend. In my case, I wasn't able to justify DoorDash or any other delivery service. The only outside food I got was Taco Bell, which was an incentive, and not by choice.

Another huge issue was finding ways to keep the stream active with clear info. I definitely feel like I should have prepared a bit more beforehand, but I was unable to make the proper preparations due to being basically bedridden up until the day before the start day. I would have gotten a YouTube playlist set up for when I slept and set up labels that could let people know what the next incentive was. I think the worst thing was not having moderators able to help. Because everything had to be done by myself. Changing titles, tracking incentives and rewards, removing troublesome users. I also unfortunately had an issue with the marathon timer, where I had to manually add time. A lot of the workload made it hard to focus on providing an engaging stream.

Even though I struggled a lot, I ended up creating a lot of fun and memorable moments. I would definitely try this again in the future, but with my experience on how I handled this, I would know a bit better on how to handle everything. My only regret was not being able to reach my follower goal during the event and having to dip into my own savings just to continue streaming while I'm in Japan.

#dailydolce #dolceupdate #subathon #Vtuber #ENVtuber #VtuberEN

[vodka-redbull-daily]

November 19th, 2023

*Graphic Sexual Content*

I finally said A---- today.  he has been making a big deal about how he says he's different than everyone else, how he's  going to be such a good teacher, how he's so much better than all these other guys. I was talking about how he would  help me get over J----.  he had me call him for a whole hour the other night. he was one of the guys that was saying that he really didn't want me sleeping around with everyone else, as if that's not what the whole point of that site is. yesterday, he had gotten pretty annoyed cuz I didn't text him all day even though I told him I was going to be out with somebody else. I did actually have a plan to see M-- this morning, but he ended up canceling on me last minute. so, I went out with A---- instead.

 he was kind of demanding and rude. kept saying I was too shy and that I needed to not be shy. I think maybe he was trying to neg me? it was weird and it kept telling me how I  needed to dye my hair black cuz it looks good with my skin tone, how I needed to not get any more tattoos because guys didn't like that, basically everything he thought I should change about myself. I was already pretty annoyed with him I figured I wasn't going to see him after that. don't fucking tell me what to do.

 we went to go to The Cheesecake Factory and he was pretty rude to the waiters. super bossy, super demanding. he also made me do this weird thing where I sucked on his fingers in the parking lot. anyway, we ate some food and he forced me to eat some of his salmon. I mean it was good, but it was kind of weird cuz he kept just piling it on my plate even though I knew I wasn't going to be able to finish my own pasta. I'm never really able to finish food in front of other people. we also got some cheesecake afterwards,  but didn't get to finish. so come I got to take home leftover pasta and leftover cheesecake.

 after that, we went back to his place even though I kind of just wanted to go home. at this point, I could already tell that he wasn't going to pay me. he seemed to be one of those “ I'm going to pay you in experience”  kind of people. sure enough, he just ended up demanding and bossing me around for a little bit before I took off my clothes and we went to the bedroom. there, we proceeded to have some of the worst sex I've ever had. M--- Was pretty bad,  but that was excusable seemings as he's barely had any sex. A---- put on this whole Persona of how amazing he was and how much he knew. maybe he was just blowing smoke.  I mean, he had to be, right?

 I was actually wet when he took off my pants. to be fair, I'm usually wet. but then he went and got paper towels and started wiping me off. it was so weird. that's the point of sex. he literally wiped away all the natural lube.  then, he started rubbing  my clit, was so extremely rough with it. since I just had kind of a wild night with W----  the night before, he was going at it so aggressively that I was painful. anytime I would try and close my legs or push him off, he would super aggressively tear my legs open again. he kept pulling my lips so wide apart, way past where they were supposed to go. it was almost like he was trying to get inside of my clit. it was so weird and so painful and I kept pushing him off because it was so uncomfortable.  he only ever put a finger in me once and I tried to make it very clear how much I like that and he almost immediately stopped.

 the entire time, he was sweating profusely. it wasn't even that warm in the apartment and we were both completely naked. he wasn't even moving that much or doing that much work. I was doing 90% of the work with all that sucking and shit that men  always have me too. he kept grabbing my Fistful of my hair and yanking it so hard, being so painful for no reason. he was sweating so much that when he was leaning over me to finger my clit terribly,  it was dripping down on to me and made a little puddle in my stomach. it smelled so bad. it was so gross.  with how rough he was, how gross it was, how uncomfortable the whole thing was, I was honestly on the verge of telling him to stop or starting to throw fists. I wasn't going to get paid for this terrible experience, he was going to get his own satisfaction and I was just going to be left there annoyed and covered in his nastiness.

 after way too long, and of course too much dick sucking,  he finally put on a condom and tried to actually fuck me. but it didn't work of course because he had wiped away all the natural lube.  I was incredibly dry now cuz he kept wiping me off with paper towels and those latex condoms just wouldn't go in. plus I think he got soft almost as soon as he saw me. maybe he's closeted gay. it was really weird. it obviously wasn't working so he had me suck him again. After a minute, he just decided that we were done.  he said something about wanting to shower and we went over to the bathroom.

 we got in, I rinsed off, then he just started pouring soap on me I started rubbing me up and down. he was still incredibly rough, but at least I was getting all this fucking nasty sweat off me. he kept saying random shit like “ oh I bet you've never had anybody wash you off before”.  first of all, it's kind of weird,  so no people don't normally do that. second one I actually have had somebody do that for me. T---- did that a few times when we were dating. but that was more like reaching my back or for places that I couldn't.  of course, A----  demanded that I wash him as well which obviously turned into more dick sucking because what else do guys want.  this time, he actually came and I swallowed it. which was good, because hopefully that meant that he was fucking done finally. 

He kept asking me if I wanted a towel, but I just got dressed trying to signal that I was ready to go. he spent like a good 10 to 15 minutes in the bathroom doing God knows what. after he came out, he tried to ask me to stay there and watch TV with him, but I was pretty strict about saying I wanted to go home. on the drive home, he asked me if I had a good time and I told him flat out no. maybe a little bit ironically, but that was the loudest  I had said anything to him and it kept telling me to be loud.  he seemed a little bit annoyed,  but it was whatever. it was one of the most horrible experiences of my life.  he dropped me off, told me to text in the next day, then blocked me on everything.

 fucking men. I hate them.

Total Earned: $3,360

Body Count: 15

Dick Pics: 13

Sex Ranking:

B-------

Him

T-----

W----

P-----

F----

A---

G--

R--

T------

J--

M--- (x2)

D--

A----

M---

#blog #daily blog #suagr baby #suagr dating #vodka redbull #my writing #spilled thoughts #daily journal #journal

[iamthecomet]

Hoot again!

The visit with my family went by quite okay. My aunt was actively calling me by my chosen name, and my little cousin (she’s like 4 or 5 or something) drew a picture of all family members and on that, my chosen name was used for me

It was really sweet

They went for a walk during the time they were over (everyone except for my grandma and I), and I spent that time in my bed under my blanket to re-charge.

I was only able to eat dinner at 1am, which is a clear sign that it was really exhausting. I had kind of underestimated that. But except for that, it was quite nice.

Your weekend sounds really exhausting, but I hope it was nice ♥️

It’s basically some kind of French chocolate tart. It has as much chocolate as it has butter, and the amount of chocolate is more than twice the amount of flour that is used. It tastes fucking fantastic and isn‘t dry at all (I can’t stand crumbles and stuff like that for it‘s taste and texture. But that tart is not dry at all and soooo good)

I decided to give up on day 7. I wouldn’t have had any fun, it would have just been me forcing myself to draw it. So I just posted the sketch and didn’t finish it.

I finally toned my hair again yesterday (the red part of it at least)

I did. finish Day 8 (Sona) yesterday, it was 3 am so technically on the 9th but we‘re gonna ignore that XD

It‘s my sona, so basically a self insert that represents me. I forgot the scar through my lip, but I’m actually still really proud of the drawing

(When you look at it, you know what I mean with the red part of my hair. And you can kinda see my hair cut as well)

I Hope your day was good too

~ @owlishanon

Oh I'm so glad to hear that your Aunt called you by your name! And that your little cousin included it in their drawing. That's so sweet. Being with people like that is really exhausting. I had a whirlwind family weekend too and I crashed HARD because of it yesterday. But despite that it was a pretty good weekend. That tart sounds AMAZING! I'm running over to look at your art now! I haven't gotten caught up on stuff posted over the weekend yet, but I'm trying. I can't wait to see your sona! Today was much better than yesterday. I have literally nothing to do tomorrow, so I'm hoping it will be EVEN better, and that I can just sit around and do some crafts and write some porn and just decompress even more. I still need it. I'm going to bed early tonight and I cannot WAIT.

#comet comments #owlish #comet's anons

[galaxialdarktale]

heeeeeyyyyy....

okay, so i know i've been flakey as hell the last few months. i honest to god have an explanation (i was forced to go to therapy to sort out my shit, thank my fiancee for my return). so here's what's been going on (under cut):

tldr; i'm back babey. reasons for long hiatus kinda thing under cut and i'm super excited to be back! i have a couple of posts, writing!!!!, planned that i want up by the end of the month - one, ideally, in the next couple of days. just needs a couple of edits :)

read the tags and the following line carefully before you click on keep reading. trigger warnings: schizophrenia, abuse, death

schizophrenia is genetic, i already knew that and that i had gotten it from my father. however, it wasn't very.... active, let's say. starting in april, it got bad. im trying my best to get the proper medication now (which is going to be hard since they lost my medical records and "don't want to tarnish your [my] records with such a harsh diagnosis! you have so much potential, so much yet going for you, and that would stop all of that!" (ableist motherfuckers i stg)) but i'm managing.

i was hella burnt out. on the rebound now, but part of my attempted rebound was switching majors from creative writing to game programming, delaying my graduation from dec 2022 to march 2026 (when i honestly just want to drop out). i took a term off and started it up, only to once again have to drop the same class again because i felt like was suffocating and drowning in the pressure at the same time. so i'm switching to gen studies, taking the 2 classes that i have to take to get the gen studies degree, and the 8 elective courses of my choosing, though that may not start up until january. i'm taking a lot of time off from school to even decide if i want to start back up.

i haven't been writing in a long, long time. i'll occasionally open up word, scrivener, milanote, or what have you and write maybe a sentence or a name down, but that's as far as it's gotten lately. until last night. i actually worked on a species idea for heelsum intro post actually coming soon since i have adobe for year im going all out basically it was just bad writer's block fueled by depression and the schizophrenia :)

technoblade. his death hit me hard. within the last year, my family dog, who i got when she was a puppy in 2009, died of the same cancer that alex had. then, in january, my fiancee's sibling died of cancer - small cell lung cancer, but cancer nonetheless. i hadn't started grieving my dog or my sibling-in-law yet and when i watched that video, it all clicked. three people i held dear, the same disease, all within less than a year. i was down and out for a while. (i bought $161 of techno merch to make myself feel better, it didn't work but it'll ship later this month ayyyy)

if you've made it this far, this is your last chance to back out because this is where it gets really bad, gays. so trigger warning for abuse. turn back now if you need to. last month, an alter of mine got yelled at for eating food - which is normal in my house. yelling at us for eating, i mean. we get yelled at for everything. this alter then went to ask our father if he could maybe not yell at us for eating because we already have an eating disorder so yeah please don't and got hit for it. we had a bruise on our face for a month. i'm actually one the alters that formed from that (hi, my name's layla!) for those concerned, we have a plan in place. we currently still have to stay in that house with them, we don't have a choice, but with our plan going as well as it has been and with the help of all our friends, we should be out of there within a couple of years (would be sooner, but passports are still slow). if you wish to help for some reason, my dms are open and i would greatly appreciate it, even if that help is even just offering to talk.

now that's it. that's everything that's been going on. to all my friends on here, everyone i used to talk to, if i can message you, start up conversation again... i know it's been a while, but i miss talking to you guys. if you'll let me, i'd like to still be friends. i won't @ any of you as i don't want to put pressure on you, but if you see this, dms are always open (as are asks).

glad to be back, gays.

#tw abuse #tw death #tw schizophrenia #galaxial.txt #i'm back babey #@ all my old friends #if i can message you #let me know? #i missed tumblr #so much #i missed writing even more #i can't wait to get back into it

[the-very-rubiest]

4 5 7 12 25 36 53 💫 can't decide on less i'm afraid

And I'm glad you didn't! So many questions, THANK YOU, you're a gift and a blessing. Without further ado, here goes:

4. what are you looking forward to?

Right now? The time after my exams when I'm finally FREE and don't have to constantly choose between forcing myself to study or the nagging guilt of not-doing-enough. The BC show + VIP thingy in September (GJPA if you ruin this for me, I will commit actual arson). Hopefully getting to travel and leave the gODDAMN COUNTRY again in October (maybe for a week?) and seeing a plane from the inside for the first time since 2019. All of these are so uncertain right now. And everything else is even MORE uncertain. Help 😭

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

A whole list of people! The first one is my dad, who can eventually get me laughing again no matter how sad, frightened or grumpy I am. My best friend, who's basically my family at this point and has been a constant in my life when everyone else keeps coming and going. My best guy friend from uni, who's just the best kind of Lunatic (affectionate). As far as celebrities go, the one-n-only Joel Hokka. And now…I guess there's you, too. This is gonna sound cheesy, but talking to you has unlocked a part of my personality even I didn't know I had, and it scares me a little but I wouldn't have it any other way.

7. what was your life like last year?

Like, exactly one year ago? Pretty bad, but about to get better. Lockdowns still had my mental health in a chokehold, my brain was constantly trying to convince me I was severely ill and dying over the tiniest things, I was skinnier than ever and just felt frail and like I was fading. I'd gotten my first vaccine dose recently, and between the world opening up and my mom making me exercise and finding refuge in the world of fiction I was slowly regaining my sanity. Then a few days later PMA by All Time Low and Pale Waves came out and it revived me a little, and another few weeks later I got my second dose and decided to finally check out BC after knowing of them for a while and my life has gotten so much better since. The rest is history.

12. what is something you want right now?

Already answered here, but I'd like to add: Some time where I don't constantly have to do something, enough that I don't need to fret and decide what to do with my precious few unscheduled hours. The power and motivation to study for my oral exam, as much as I need to study. Some certainties where so much in my life is uncertain. Right now, those are the most urgent things.

25. role model

I don't have just one, I steal traits and skills from everyone I find cool like a greedy little magpie. I guess the closest to an aspirational figure for me is Aleksi though? I admire how comfortable he seems in everything he does, the effect he has on people, the way he can win their love so effortlessly and keep it despite his quirks and pointy edges. One day I'd like to have the same effect on others, radiate the same comfort and childlike joy of life paired with twinkly-eyed maturity. I guess it's because I see so much of myself in him that this actually seems achievable, you know?

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

I was gonna say "Just three?" but now I honestly have trouble coming up with three at all. I'm not counting goals where achievement is just a matter of time here BTW, only "I hope this can happen someday/it'll likely happen but no idea when," no "this will happen in the foreseeable future."

Dream 1 is to move out to a place I like, a place that's my own, where I can decide what I eat and when I sleep and when I do chores and don't owe anyone an explanation when I want to go somewhere. Just…freedom within four walls. That's all I ask.

Dream 2 is to find someone I love who loves me just as much and just…experience what it's like to love and be loved. Build a life together if it works out. If not, at least know what it feels like and that I'm capable of experiencing it…does that make sense?

Dream 3 (AKA the most unrealistic one…I guess?) is to create a story that finds a large audience. I'm talking active online fandom, fanworks, maybe even an adaptation of some kind? I wouldn't even wanna be famous for it myself. I'd just like to see something I write reach so many people and see what they create out of it.

53. 5 things that make me happy

1: Listening to my favorite songs, undisturbed and uninterrupted, just jamming out.

2: Getting friends or loved ones into stuff I'm into.

3: Plushies!

4: That feeling of being done with a task (or just your work for the day) and knowing you can kick back and relax now.

5: Doing my silly little exercises and seeing how strong I've gotten. Progress! 💪

Well! Those were all the questions. Thank you for these, you made me literally bare my soul in front of you, hope you enjoyed the ride! 💖

#also can you tell i'm kinda struggling with the pressure of the ✨exams✨ rip #🎵 i think i hate the pressure but i measure it to know that it's real 🎵 #ask #itsfandomsgalore #ask game #talk corner

[acesanddrams]

The most transformational weeks of my life, Part I: The Break-Up

A couple weeks ago I broke up with Doug. We were in constant fights and he was getting progressively more angry with me. The drunk screaming was becoming too much. One day, on a Saturday, I went to work in the morning and didn’t go home. Well home was temporarily staying at his friend’s Brandon’s apartment as we waited to move into our newer bigger apartment we were so excited to get together. Life seemed to be moving in a good direction for us. But the fights continued. We’d make up and the next night more drunk screaming. So that day I just stayed at the studio and didn’t go home. I called my mommy crying, and I was only 1/3 serious but I asked if anything happened if I could come home. She said, “Of course! We will clean out a room for you.” And in the background I heard my dad yell, “She can clean out her own damn room!” We all busted out laughing even though I still had tears coming down my face. 

Doug asked if I was coming home, and I said no. He freaked out, and then got angry about it. We got into a terrible fight via text. He basically said that I am the reason for his anger and he cannot change the way he treats me because it is my fault. To that I said “I’m done.” At 5:30 in the morning I get a text to my parents and I “You’re stuff is in the living room to come pick up.” That morning I woke up covered in popcorn and surrounded by empty food containers and beer bottles. I had binged and purged at the dance studio that night. Not very professional. But it helped with the pain. That day my boss/best friend Steve and my parents came to help me get my things, and I went home to Richmond with my parents.

The next day I woke up a new person. I was so euphoric and happy to have this weight lifted off my shoulders. Even my boss Steve at work the next day was like “Are you sure you went through a breakup?” I was more motivated and energetic and lively. I felt like myself again. Like I had gotten my light back. But even though I think it was very good for me to get out of that toxic situation, I also believe I was happy to be free of Doug because then I could hide my binge/purge sessions better and didn’t have the anxiety of getting caught. I felt like I had so much freedom. A couple days later Steve told me he had no idea the effects Doug had on me until he saw me without him. I truly was in such a better mental state after that break up. I was confident again, and so happy that I was done with him.

Except I wasn’t.

The next couple weeks were filled with happy bad ass confident single woman vibes mixed with missing some memories... and then finally missing him. I have a hard time holding a grudge or staying mad at someone. I always see the good. This would’ve been much easier had I just been able to stay mad at him. But once the anger and hurt subsided, I knew deep down Doug and I still loved each other and missed each other like crazy. 

I honestly believe that Doug is a good person and a good man. One thing I loved about him when we met is how sensitive, caring, and compassionate he is. He is a mommas boy and a loving brother to his two sisters. I think he is an empath who loves too deeply at times. He intakes others’ pain and problems which causes him anxiety and depression. His unhealthy coping mechanisms: alcohol and anger. I’m not any better because mine are: alcohol and eating disorders. When his mom passed of ALS I know he had anger issues, even thought that was before I met him. He would get pissed at me for my eating disorder habits because he loved me and hated to see myself hurt me. But he also was so ignorant of eating disorders and what I was going through. He didn’t see how what he was doing was affecting me. 

He thought being nice to me or compassionate with me would be enabling me. He thought he needed to force me to change my ways like a coach with tough ciriticism. But what he didn’t see was how much I was criticizing myself. I fucking hated myself. I held onto so much shame, guilt, and self hatred. And the way I coped with the shame and guilt of binging/purging/spitting/hiding food/stealing food was binging/purging/spitting/hiding food/stealing food. And then my boyfriend would come home and scream at me because it made me hate myself more, especially knowing I was hurting him too. 

So initially I told all my friends I dumped him because he had drinking and anger issues, and all my friends and family were so proud of me for having the courage to pull myself out of a toxic relationship and cut that toxic man out of my life.

But I’ll admit... I am also toxic. I always have been. And deep down I always thought I’d never be able to have a healthy relationship because of my toxic habits. Until I met Doug, I thought I had met the love of my life and could finally make it work even though I was so fucked up. He seemed like the only man who would ever love me. And then of course I went and fucked it up like always. Because I fuck everything up and hurt everyone who loves me because I’m selfishly in love with my eating disorders, my laxative/diuretic abuse, my depression/anxiety, my OCD, my exercise addiction and alcohol. I can turn anything into an addiction. Except actually hard drugs. I’m a little bitch when it comes to drugs. I can’t even handle a cigarette. 

#breakup #personal #doug #diary #journal #journaling #bulimia #mia #eating disorder #ed recovery #recovery #rehab

[kingdaddydaichi]

NSFW Alphabet || Katsuki Bakugou

I had so much fun with this! Vodka may or may not have been involved in the making of this little ditty. 🍸 I hope you shameless hussies enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. 😩

*Exhibit A:

(Source)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I feel like he gets clingy asf, but plays it off like it's something he's doing for your sake. He'll probably never admit that he feels so vulnerable after sex, but he does. If it was a rough session - which it usually is with him - he'll ask if you're okay, if you're hurt anywhere, kiss any marks he left on you - he's such a protective hero boi.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His: he's not gonna lie, he's fully aware of how well-endowed he is. He really is proud of his cock, the way it makes you sing when he works it - and he knows how to work it okay? Favorite non-sexual body part - his arms. He works hard to keep them cut (as in lifting, not cutting). 😬

Yours: listen, Katsuki is an ass man through and through. Go ahead and tell me I'm wrong, I'm 👏🏼 not 👏🏼 listening 👏🏼. He loves to watch the subtle ripples he sends through your ass cheeks when he's driving into you from behind. Also, our big scary boomboom man appreciates a nice, thicc pair of thighs. Bonus points if they're muscular/toned - he loves the way it feels when your thighs have such a strong grip around him.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Let's just say our boy's orgasms are explosive. He cums hard and loud, shooting long ropes of his hot seed. Consistency is about average, not too thick, not to thin, but there's a lot of it. He doesn't taste too bad - salty, but not too bitter. You're more likely to gag from the sheer volume and force of his cum hitting the back of your throat than the flavor.

His precum gets honorable mention here. It's fucking delicious. That is all.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It took him no less than 2 years into your relationship to tell you this, and if you ever tell anyone he might actually kill you, or at the very least make your ass bleed. He hasn't gotten to the point that he's ready to try it yet, but he's not entirely opposed to the idea of you pegging him. Someday. It kinda does make his balls tingle a little just thinking about it tbh. He hasn't yet, but he thinks he might be ready to try working up to it and is really close to asking you to stick a finger in his ass and stroke his prostate. He's heard how good it feels and he's super curious to find out for himself.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very experienced, actually. He's only had 1 or 2 lovers before you, BUT he's determined to be #1 at everything. Couple that with how perceptive he is and you've got yourself a winner of a loverboy. He's going to make damn sure that, even if things don't work out between you two, he will always ALWAYS be the best you've ever had. No other man will outdo him, E-V-E-R.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggystyle all the way, baby. As stated before, he loves watching your booty jiggle every time he slams his hips against it. He gets off on spreading your ass cheeks to watch his slick-coated cock slide in and out of you. God he just loves hitting it from behind, makes his dick so fucking hard.

Bonus 2nd Favorite Position (couldn't help myself): you on your back with your ankles on his shoulders, your ass lifted off the bed, him on his knees and hugging those thick thighs of yours, keeping them closed as he reams into you. (Slight variation of this one: he leans over you, nearly folding you in half, putting you back on your shoulders with his hands pressing into the mattress beside you, angling you such that his prominent corona rubs over your g-spot as he drills down into you. 10/10 you're gonna scream his name when (not if) your liquid gushes all over him.)

Tell me the truth, am I a disgusting human being? Here are all the fucks I give:

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Bakugou is serious asf about his sex game. This is not the time to joke around or poke fun at him, understand me? If you do he will get pissed and either fuck the silly out of you, or if he's feeling particularly ruthless he'll just stop altogether and let you ache for him as punishment until you beg him for release.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He takes care of his body, paying a lot of attention to his hygiene, which includes manscaping to keep his pubic hair trimmed and kempt. The carpet's just a shade darker than the drapes, like a honey blond. If he lets it grow out, it sticks straight out just like his head hair. It's actually kind of funny and he hates it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

*sigh* Let's be honest. Katsuki is not the super romantic type, at least not outwardly. However, if he realizes something he's doing is hurting you - physically or emotionally - he's going to stop dead in his tracks and hold you close, push his fingers through your hair, and tell you how much he loves you and how safe you are. He can be rough and he can be an asshole, but if he thinks he's genuinely hurt you at all, he's all over you, doing everything he can to make you understand that he will never let anyone hurt you, especially not himself. Got that?

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn't jack off very often. You two share a very active sex life so he doesn't see the need to. If you have to be apart for more than a day or two, he'll rub one out. Or if the need hits him particularly hard and you're not available or in the mood, he's not above closing his eyes and reaching into his pants to wrap his thick fingers around his cock and start tugging.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Lord Baby Jesus, where do I even begin? Kinky, kinky Katsuki. This man should come with warning signs and disclaimers.

First of all, he dom asf okay? Even if he lets you play with his ass someday, he's gonna be bratty about it. He's going to top from the bottom, hashtag facts. And trust that he WILL own you afterwards to securely reestablish his dominance.

Giving and Receiving: Hair pulling. DIRTY TALK - you think he's got a potty mouth in the streets? His mouth is downright filthy between the sheets. Loves it when you dirty talk right back to him. "You love taking my fat cock, don't you princess?" "Mm yessss, fuck me, Katsuki! Your cock feels so fucking good babyyy!" He eats that shit up.

Giving Only: Degradation. Praise. Spanking. Cockwarming. Dom/sub/power play. Shibari/ropework (he tried it bc you wanted to and he fucking loved it). Creampies. Begging. Discipline. Ravishment.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Literally anywhere inside your home/homes - bed, bathroom/kitchen countertops, kitchen/dining table, office desk/chair, any piece furniture is fair game really, up against a wall, washer/dryer, the fucking floor, ugh just all the places to fuck. Not one square foot is sacred tbh.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Wear something that showcases the curve of your butt. Doesn't have to be revealing per se, matter of fact he'll get possessive as fuck if you're showing too much skin in public. At home/privately though? He can't help himself. Dat ass tho...he is going to smack it hard enough that it stings and that's final, understand?

Tease him. You can't be obvious about it though. If he senses that you're doing it on purpose, it'll just backfire. But if you just so happen to brush against his crotch when you squeeze past him, it'll drive him crazy. Go commando in short shorts/skirt and cross your legs just so, his dick will twitch. Even better if you do shit like this in public where you know he won't act on it. But when you get home you best believe he's going to dick you down so hard, won't even bother to take said shorts or skirt off.

His ears and neck are his most sensitive erogenous zones. Whisper in his ear or kiss his neck and he's going to grit his teeth in an effort to fight back the shudder that threatens to rattle his bones.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Let's get one thing straight. Katsuki Bakugou does not share. This is non-negotiable. He will not agree to anything involving additional people - cuckolding, threesomes, orgies, exhibitionism, voyeurism (unless it's him watching you pleasure yourself - that he will gladly do, and probably start palming himself in the process).

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Loves giving and receiving. Giving puts him in full control of your pleasure, receiving makes him feel like you're worshipping his cock, which you probably are. Have you seen this man's cock? Of course you have. Gatdamn.

Y'all, Katsuki's so good at eating pussy. Like how does one get that good at eating pussy? I don't even know, but god the way he flicks his hot tongue over your precious, tiny bud before wearing it down like a fucking feed bag? It's unnatural. Like it could be his backup quirk if blowing shit up doesn't work out. You've seen the way he licks his lips when he gets excited, everyone has.* He doesn't even bother swallowing while he's feeding on you so you just be dripping in slick and saliva and he's just slurping away. It's lewd.

*See Exhibit A above.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

You already know this, but I'll say it anyway. His go-to fucking style is fast and rough, dominant and relentless, hard and dirty. But every once in a while he'll want to take you slow and deep and passionate. He'll hold you so tight in his arms and chest, you'll have to tap his shoulder sometimes to let you breathe. And he'll just roll his hips so fucking thoroughly both of you will feel every last inch, his pubic bone rubbing your clit so hard. You've told him so many times how much you love it when he makes love to you like this, but he maybe makes it a rare treat on purpose. 😈 Little shit.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies are difficult for our boy. It's not that he's against them, it's just that he savors every drop of sensuality, he has a tendency to draw the pleasure out as long as possible. He can’t help it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

The idea of having public sex turns him on, but he's only done it with you a couple of times when he was 10000% sure you wouldn't be caught. He can't risk doing anything that would tarnish his reputation and goal of becoming the #1 Hero. He might be freaky as hell, but he needs a sex scandal like an Alaskan needs a refrigerator.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He loves you long time. He's a Taurus for fuck's sake (well, Aries/Taurus cuspie, but that just sweetens the deal). Great stamina. Grinds you down like a whetstone. Can last as long as he needs to to ensure you cum for him as many times as it takes for you to beg him to stop. If he feels himself getting too close while you're blowing him, he'll stop you and go down on you instead. If he's inside of you, he'll pull out and start kissing all over your body, sucking, nipping, licking until his urge to cum passes, then he pushes it right back in and keeps going.

If on the off-chance he does cum before you, he'll be ready to go again in about 20-30 mins. Just give him some motivation, he deserves it.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He didn't own any toys when you first got together, but you did. He hated the idea of you using them though, especially when he's right there with you. You've since assured him that you don't want to use them to replace him, but to enhance the pleasure. So now you do use them from time to time.

The first time you managed to coax him into using a toy together, it was a small wireless bullet with a remote. When you brought it out and showed it to him, there was a wild glint in his eye. He carefully inserted the vibrator into you, his cock slowly following suit. He loved the fact that he had complete control over this thing, but later complained because the sensation of it against the head of his cock made him cum too fast. He still wants to use it sometimes though. 😏

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh he can be so unfair. He loves teasing you until you're begging him to put his cock inside you. He's not so much into orgasm denial per se; he just loves to hear you beg him for shit - to let you cum, to suck his dick, to stop fucking you when you're overstimmed, etc.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Lol he's fucking LOUD! And he's going to make you cum so hard that you're screaming his fucking name. There was a time when one or both of you lived in an apartment and the neighbors would bang on the wall behind your headboard.

Shit, what sounds does he NOT make? He growls, moans, grunts, groans, yells, swears, fucks you so hard you can hear the wet sound of slapping skin, hell even the bed protests. Another reason he doesn't fuck in public - he can't stay quiet enough to be discreet about it.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Okay, as much of a wild sex beast as he is behind closed doors, he gets embarrassed so easily when your sex life is so much as hinted at around others. It's legit funny how flustered he gets about it.

If he goes into work real tired and Kirishima says, "Hey Bakubro, you look like shit this morning. You and (y/n) stay up too late?" while doing the finger in the hole gesture, Katsuki will just "Shut the fuck up, Shitty Hair, or I'll blast your ass right through that fucking wall!"

Or if you two go out together with friends and the girls are talking about sex-related stuff, Katsuki will just roll his eyes and try to ignore it. But if one of them is all "So, (y/n), does Bakugou ever like accidentally let off explosions while you're doing it?" and you wink and say, "Only when he's especially *cough* frustrated *cough*". Katsuki will go red from his neck up to his hairline and start stuttering, sparks flying from his palms. "H-hey, d-don't tell them sh-shit like that! I-it's none of their god-goddamn b-business, (y/n), what th-the f-fuck?!" Meanwhile, you and the girls are in stitches while he stomps away, just mortified, bless his heart. When you catch your breath from laughing you'll follow it up with, "Looks like tonight's gonna be one of those nights", and you all lose it again.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

As has been mentioned, Bakugou's well-endowed. I figure he's packing about 7.5-8" in length x just under 2" wide. He takes some getting used to, that's for damn sure. Oh, and he's more of a shower than a grower. Like around 6" long x 1.5" wide when flaccid. Katsuki + sweatpants/basketball shorts = swinging dick print, alright sis? Take notes, this motherfucker visibly jumps when he does, class dismissed.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Eh, he's surprisingly not ridiculously horny. Maybe a little above average sex drive? A lot of times hero work just takes it out of him and he comes home utterly exhausted and just needs a soft place to land, and you provide him with all the love and nurturing in your heart. ❤

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depends, really, on the time of day and what type of day it's been. If it's late (like past 9pm lol) and he fought more villains than usual that day, he's probs gonna pass out pretty soon after. If it's earlier in the day - especially first thing in the morning - it gets him pumped and almost comically genki.

#i'm disgusting #loveitorleaveit #katsuki bakugou #boom boy #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki #mha katsuki #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki smut #katsuki bakugo headcanons #katsuki bakugō #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugo imagine #katsuki x y/n #katsuki x you #bakugou #alphabet #katsuki dropped a bomb on me #bombshell #katsuki thirst

[amor-immortalem]

Replaced

Genre: Heavy Angst, Angst with a somewhat happy ending.

Warning: The following piece is my take on the replaced! au with Arella. Dark themes lie ahead. If you are triggered by feelings of abandonment, suicidal ideation, or outright suicide, this mini fic is not safe for you to read. Please continue at your own discretion.

A/N: I did it guys! I actually managed to break myself with this mini fic by digging into my own abandonment issues. It was fun- cathartic almost. Please enjoy! Also, spoilers for the lesson 16 incident.

What does it feel like to be replaced? If you were to ask Arella, she’d say it felt bitter and painful. Like someone was holding a white-hot branding iron to her stomach and pushing it in to the point it ate through all the layers of her skin and was now searing through her stomach or like someone was rubbing salt into a open, festering wound.

When Diavolo had announced to the other student council officers that a new exchange student would be joining their ranks, Arella was excited- especially when she found out the new student was a female- there was only so much Arella could talk about in a house full of men and one genderless individual that they would understand, all of them having been assigned male at birth and whatnot. So, another woman among their ranks would be a breath of fresh air for her. And it was for a time being- until the brothers had taken favor to this new human.

It started within months of this new exchange student arriving. One by one, her favorite demons started hanging around her more often. It wasn't like Arella could be mad at them. This human was novel and oh so different from Arella. She was everything Arella was not, from her blonde hair to her well-developed body- even her height, which matched closer to the brothers. She was everything human world media told a girl she should be. She even looked like she fit in with them- having taken to the Devildom like a duck to water even without being able to use magic.

Arella wants to be angry with this girl, but she can’t. This girl, named Melissa, was so sweet it was almost enough to make Arella sick. She was smart, innocent, and -above all else- selfless. It was apparent the boys adored her immediately. One by one, Arella was losing them to the charms of this new girl. The first to go was Satan, clearly smitten by her love of books and knowledge of obscure but very talented authors. The second to go was Asmo, often taking her out to clubs or on long shopping trips that often lasted well past curfew. And just like that the other brothers started to follow suit. Game nights between her and Levi? Gone. Drawing up budgets with Lucifer? Not anymore. Going out with Beel to cafes? Not in her wildest dreams. Naptimes up in the attic with Belphie? Hah! Fat chance. The last and most painful to pull away was Mammon- her first man. The one who swore he would always be there for her when she needed him. And oh how she needed him.

Just like when Arella had first come to the Devildom, Mammon was given the task of watching over Melissa by Lucifer. At first Arella tried to justify it as Lucifer worrying about the girl’s safety as even though his brothers had gotten better at controlling themselves, they still had their moments.

As time went on however, she started to notice the little things. Missed movie nights between them, date nights often forgotten about in favor of showing Melissa his favorite spots around the city, the loss of any physical intimacy. Soon, he stopped seeing her all together. Things that she and Mammon did together were now reserved for Melissa: casino trips, movie nights, pranks on Lucifer that would have the eldest chasing after them, running around the city until it was nearly what could considered to be the Devildom’s equivalent of dawn. She knew he was completely gone when she walked down to the dining room for supper one evening and overheard them just casually flirting. Mammon didn’t even make any attempts to dissuade Melissa’s advances. He remembered he actually had a girlfriend, right? Right?!

Or were they even a thing anymore? It had been months since they’d spent any substantial time together outside of classes and even then, he’d moved seats to sit closer to the new human. He’d either ignore her texts or straight up just ghost her altogether. As she listened to them, she had to push down the possessive tendencies that tried to force their way out of her. She pushed them back down into the flimsily locked box they had always been contained in and burying them down in the deepest parts of her mind, forcing herself to accept that she was no longer wanted- no longer loved by the family she thought she’d found. She returned to her room for the rest of the night and for the first time since the initial weeks after arriving here on her first visit, cried herself to sleep.

The next time she interacted with any of the Avatars, it was Lucifer ordering her off to school telling her that she had better not be late and tarnish the good name Lord Diavolo and the exchange programme. Arella only nodded and promptly left the house, not even bothering to finish her morning cup of tea. The walk to school was lonely, Mammon had left earlier with Melissa and it was then, with a broken heart, Arella decided she would leave them all to their new toy. They wouldn’t bother her. They didn’t need her. At least she had Solomon and the angels, didn’t she? No, it didn’t seem to be the case either judging by the mass of unanswered texts.

As she entered class, Arella took her usual seat only hoping Mammon would choose to sit with her for once, would just choose her for once in general. But it wasn’t meant to be. Of course, it wouldn’t. Why would he bother to choose her when there was someone who was much better for him than her? Someone who wasn’t selfish or possessive or... or... worthless... She subtilty looked over her shoulder to watch as they cracked jokes and laughed together and she felt tears pool in her eyes- heart aching at the thought that she would never have that again and the sweet memories she’d made with the demon. The spot she once saved for him was now taken by another demon.

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Two months more of this- it had been eleven since Melissa joined them. None of the brothers even looked Arella’s way anymore- often forgetting she lived in the house with them in the first place. When she tried to reach out to any of them it was Melissa needs this or Melissa and I are doing this, so she just stopped. She stopped eating, stopped taking care of herself save for basic hygiene needs. No one came to check on her. There were no texts, no calls, nothing. They’d gotten all they wanted out of her and now she was like a cast aside doll. She thought about reaching out to any of them but decided against it. They were demons and she was just an insignificant human. It's not like they actually cared and Arella was a fool for allowing herself to entertain the thought.

She should just go home. But where was home? The human world held nothing for her to return to. Sure, she had that degree in biochemical engineering to fall back on but after having a taste of true happiness, would she even enjoy a life doing that? Maybe she could just go back to her original plan. The plan she had made when she first signed on to the exchange programme. 23 years was certainly long enough to experience everything life had to offer, right? She always did tell herself if the year on the exchange programme didn’t work out, she’d end it all. The idea was sounding more and more appealing by the minute.

With her mind made up, Arella swung her legs over the side of the bed. A smile was painted on her face. Her cheeks stained with tears; emerald-green eyes bleary from all the crying she’d done over the past two months. No one would miss her. They left her- abandoned for the better human like she was an unwanted pet. What did she expect though? No one ever stayed. No one ever cared. No one ever loved her enough to begin with. She was always thrown away like the trash she was after her purpose was fulfilled.

With what little strength she could muster, Arella stood as she uttered a spell and a portal opened. She gladly stepped through it, finding herself in her childhood home as it closed- a place filled with nothing but suffering and pain for her. What a fitting place for her own painful end.

“Hello, Mum, Myles... I’m... home... Isn’t it lovely... that you were right after all? I’ll be with you... soon...”

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Missing his call on her D.D.D. was the first thing that Mammon noticed. He knew he hadn’t been the best boyfriend ever since the new human arrived and the demon felt guilty for that. He’d put so much energy into helping Melissa get a date with his younger brother that he hadn’t realized how much time had actually passed- how it had been almost a year since he’d done literally anything with his girlfriend. She was probably pissed at him and rightfully so. Now that he had actually looked at his calendar, there had been so many planned dates and movie nights he had missed with her and all he wanted to do was make it up to her somehow. She probably thought he didn’t want her anymore which couldn’t have been further from the truth. He missed her- missed hanging out with her, missed the dumb jokes they would crack and the laughter that followed, missed the pranks they would play on Lucifer that often ended up with them strung up from the ceiling together. He missed the late-night cuddles and having her tucked up under his arm at night as he held her close. The bed they had once shared was considerably colder now that she was no longer there.

Mammon made his way down to her room. That was the only place she could be. Arella never left her room anymore. She always left for school earlier than anyone else too, choosing to skip breakfast outright, so Mammon couldn’t even catch her to talk then. He thought about reclaiming his seat next to his human but every morning he found her chatting up another demon that had taken his old seat. He often felt his possessiveness spike most during those times but did he even have the right to feel that way after neglecting her for the past eleven months?

As he drew closer to her room, he could see Beel knocking at her door, asking if she’d like to go visit that new café she had mentioned a couple weeks ago. When there was no answer, the Avatar of Gluttony would frown, unsure if she was just asleep or just actively ignoring him. That was the second sign something was wrong. No matter what happened, at the end of the day, Arella was always happy to entertain their whims.

“She’s not answerin’ ya, is she?” The second-born asks as the sixth-born shakes his head, looking like an abandoned puppy on the side of the road. “I’ll go in ‘n see if she’s awake. I have to talk to ‘er anyway.”

Beelzebub nodded as he left back to the kitchen- likely to eat his hurt feelings away. None of them really had the right to feel this way after they’d just ghosted their favorite human though. As he opened the door, Mammon stopped dead in his tracks. She wasn’t there, her phone lay on the bed lit up with missed texts from Asmo and Levi.

Immediately, he took off for Lucifer’s study. If anyone would know her whereabouts it would be Lucifer, right? The family patriarch had the uncanny ability to know exactly where every resident of the House of Lamentation was at any given time so long as they were still in the Devildom.

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After considering her options, Arella was left indecisive. There were a number of ways she could end her own life. She wouldn’t lie, before the exchange programme she would fantasize about the many ways she could kill herself. Would it be by hanging like she found Myles? Or perhaps she could slit her wrists like her beloved mother. If the car in the garage still worked, carbon monoxide poisoning was a valid option too. There were sleeping pills up in the medicine cabinet- a large handful of those would definitely do the trick... Ah choices, choices. As she smiled to herself, the human wondered if any of the brothers had noticed she wasn’t in the house anymore. The chances were unlikely as they were all too busy with their new human but if they had, who was it?

Would it be Asmo, Levi, Belphegor? Surely, it wouldn’t have been Mammon. He’d long since moved on, probably enjoying the start of a new relationship with Melissa. It hurt that he couldn’t have been bothered to even break up with Arella in the first place. What happened to forever? Had it all been the honeyed words of a liar?

She shook her head. It was best not to think too much on it but she still couldn’t help it. Once she was gone- once their pact faded away- would he regret this? Would he regret losing the person who loved him so unconditionally that it was almost embarrassing?

With her mind made up, Arella grabbed a knife from one of the drawers in the kitchen and carried herself up to the master bedroom where she had found her mother four years prior. As she lie on the bed, she pressed the knife to her wrist deep enough to cause substantial bleeding. She drags the blade up her arm, watching as the crimson liquid gushed from the from the wound. She thinks it’s beautiful- a fitting end for a vile creature such as herself.

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“Lucifer!”

“What, Mammon?” The eldest didn’t even bother to look up from the ever-growing stack of paperwork on his desk.

“Did Arella have plans tonight?” The Avatar of Greed asks as his brother finally looks up at him.

“Not that I’m aware of, but I also haven’t seen her all day. As her mate, you should know, shouldn’t you? As far as I’m aware, Arella hasn’t left the house and is still in her room probably practicing her mag-”

In that moment, both demons felt a sharp pain shoot up their arm as if someone had taken a knife and was drawing a line up the inside of their arm. The same pain was radiating from the places where their pact marks were located. Mammon clutched at his chest as he fell to his knees, the symbol representing his girlfriend radiating with pain that reached down to his heart. If the screams of the others were anything to go by, they felt the same thing.

“She’s not in her room!” The white-hair demon manages to gasp out. What scares him most is that he can feel their pact fading away.

Lucifer’s heart leapt up in his throat as the realization hit him. It wasn’t her practicing magic that he had sensed earlier, it was her casting a spell. She opened a portal to the human world and had gone through. He now realizes the mistake they’ve made as he remembers back to the confession she had made to him over a year ago one night when neither of them could sleep and opted for a late-night cup of tea. She had told him that he and his brothers had saved her life that first year during the exchange programme. That if things hadn’t worked out so well, she had planned to take her own life. Back then, he thought nothing much of it since the problem had resolved itself. But with how they had essentially pushed her aside in favor of Melissa, she would have felt unwanted bringing the suicidal thoughts back full force. They had to get to her and fast before it was too late.

Always fast on his feet the eldest, opens a portal of his own, knowing of only one place she would go to take her own life. Both brothers would hop through, landing in the dusty house with a thud. The smell hit them faster than either of them could process it. Blood. And a lot of it at that.

Mammon was the first to scramble for the stairs while Lucifer made a break for the phone, having forgotten his D.D.D. on his desk in the rush to get through the portal. The second-born knows the layout of Arella's house too well, having been here with her multiple times before this. Back in better times when she knew just how much he loved her. As the smell of fresh blood grows stronger, he finds her resting on the bed, a smile on her face as the knife lay between her body and the arm that was still slowly losing blood.

Faster than a flash of lightning, the demon tore his belt off and was on the bed immediately. He took her arm, fastening his belt around the upper part in a tourniquet to stop the blood flow. He shook her frantically, tears spilling down his face freely.

“Arella! Arella! C'mon, baby, wake up! Please!” His voice came out in a scream and he could only vaguely hear his brother speaking on the phone with emergency services. “We’re sorry! Don’t leave us! Don’t leave me!”

With every passing second, Mammon could feel her life slipping away through the pact that was still searing his heart. This was the price of his actions- of all their actions. Her blood was on his hands, literally. He should have done more. He should have been there. He could have called or texted or even just picked up the damn phone when she had called him, but instead just like the blood that had slipped from her arm, the Avatar of Greed let her slip through his fingers. She was gone and there was no bringing his human back this time like they had when Belphie threw her body down the stairs after he’d strangle her to death. He and his brothers had spent all that time protecting her from other demons but they couldn’t protect her from themselves.

Once the EMT’s got there, the demon stepped back from the blood-soaked bed in a state of shock- a state of disbelief. There was nothing they could do for her now. She had no pulse, no signs of life. He dropped to his knees unable to believe that his human was truly gone. His throat felt tight as more tears came. He was only just able to register the feeling of the Avatar of Pride’s embrace as they cried together- something they hadn’t done since the fall, since Lilith passed.

The two demons were informed that the coroner would arrive to collect her body shortly as they left the room. Slowly they got up, Mammon taking her body in his arms as he fought back the urge to sob. The pair returned to the House of Lamentation with Arella’s body in tow, cradled carefully in her mate’s arms. As they stepped through, they were met by their brothers and Melissa. Even the Angels, Solomon, and the Royals were there waiting.

“She’s gone,” The eldest’s voice cracked as a pained grimace formed on his face, more tears slipping down his face. Mammon couldn’t even lift his head to look them in the eyes as the crying, wailing, sobbing started.

“We didn’t deserve ‘er.” The second-born chokes on his tears, feeling utterly broken inside. “We did this to ‘er. All... All seven of us did this... She reached out to alla us ‘n we ignored ‘er.” He’s the angriest with himself.

The prince and his butler only watch on, tears in their eyes. Diavolo remembers all the good times they’ve had with Arella. The way she made the lives of the Avatars better, the fun she brought to the student council meetings, the beautiful light she’d brought to the Devildom. She’d made such an impact on the lives of all of these demons and angels. As selfish as it was, Diavolo didn’t want to let any of that go.

“Bring her back, Barbatos.” He orders and his loyal servant steps forward.

“Place her on the ground, Mammon.” Barbatos says calmly, almost as if he’s done this a thousand times and for some reason the Avatar of Greed obeys the order.

Once she’s on the ground, the green-haired demon pulls open her mouth and takes Mammon’s hand in his, producing a dagger and slicing the white-haired demon’s palm tipping it to side and allows the blood to drop into Arella’s mouth. As the crimson liquid flows down her throat, the effect is immediate- Arella's body convulsing violently before she gasps for breath as the gash along the inside of her arm heals.

Everyone- demons, angels, and humans alike- stare wide-eyed at the scene. Lucifer looks up to his longtime friend in disbelief. He had just...

“Let this teach you all a very painful lesson. I’ve given her life as a demon, do not take this chance for granted. You will not get it again. She needs rest for now, but in a day or two, Arella will reawaken.” The prince’s voice is stern as he peers down at the former human who would now become a very powerful demon. “Treat her right this time.”

It’s with that that Diavolo and Barbatos take their leave. The rest was up to the brothers now to care for her and right the wrongs they’ve made.

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Next

The Bad Ending

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#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me! shall we date? #obey me angst #mammon angst #replaced!mc au

[quicksilverownsmysoul]

Lifeguard on Duty

Summary: Warren was supposed to be looking for a summer job but when he sees you on the beach he decides to become a lifeguard. And hopefully confess his feelings for you

Word count: 2,376

Warren and Spencer were sitting at the lifeguard station spending lunch together. Warren had his legs kicked up in the small desk and Spencer leaned against the back wall, taking a deep breath of the shared joint. He was messing with the life preservers that lined the wall, he exhaled the smoke before passing it to Warren, moving to lean on the desk, staring out at the crowded beach. “Warren, why did you even take this job?”

“Cause I like the ocean.” Warren hummed, inhaling deeply and letting his eyes flutter shut. He wasn’t really supposed to be smoking up here but he was the only lifeguard on duty today. So goody two shoes Lance Norris, the posterboy for lifeguards couldnt rat him out. He flicked the rolled up stub out the window, watching as it sizzled out in the sand below. He stood up, exiting the booth and Spencer followed him. “Plus the view isn't bad.” Warren looked out on the women sunbathing in skimpy bikinis and the men swimming in insanely tight speedos

Spencer rolled his eyes. “Pervert.” Warren winked at him, turning back to face the beach crowd.

Warren wouldn't admit it but there was another reason he had taken the job. You. His dad had been hounding him to take a summer job so he had been out on the boardwalk picking up applications. He was planning on lying and saying he had gotten a job and then blowing all summer with Spencer but then he had seen you. He had stopped dead in his tracks when he saw you, he watched as you took the ramp down to the beach and made a beeline for the lifeguard station.

You greeted them with a wide smile and passed up a basket filled with lunch for the two lifeguards on duty. He felt himself smile as he took you in, watching as you made polite conversation with your friend before sitting down on the beach, a book in hand. Warren came to the boardwalk for a week after that to see if you’d return. And sure enough you came everyday to sit in the same spot and read. Watching the waves roll in before leaving a couple hours later. And every friday you brought lunch up to the lifeguard station, there were other days when you bought snacks for them. He figured out that you brought lunch on Fridays because your friend Mary had a shift that day, so you would bring something for her and her coworker.

So Warren applied and got in after passing the entrance exam and acing the physical. It wasn't too hard considering he used to do sports and much to the disapy of Lance, the head lifeguard, he made the force. He even had the dumb luck of working on the friday shift with your friend Mary. He was really nervous to talk to you and spend his first few shifts hiding away when you came to see your friend. But after a while Mary had had enough of his endless questions about you and introduced you both. He had nearly died when you said his hair looked pretty in the afternoon sun.

After that he tried to talk to you when he could. Making small conversation here and there and asking a million questions, but you didn’t mind. Answering every one and asking some of your own. After a few weeks he developed a friendship with you, though he wanted more. He had wanted more since the moment he had seen you if he was being honest.

He loved your beautiful (y/s/c) skin that soaked up the sun and the way your (y/h/c) shinned and blew in the wind. He loved listening to you talk about your latest book and even tried reading some of them so he could talk to you about them. Though he preferred to hear you talk about them instead.

But he was too much of a coward to voice his feelings so instead he hoped you would catch on, maybe take note of his flirting and longing looks for more. But it seemed you thought of him as just a friend. So he let the summer slip away, there were only a couple weeks left and still he was too nervous to confess. Wondering what would happen when summer ended.

Unknown to him you had developed quite a crush on the curly haired lifeguard. Even bringing him lunch when Mary wasn't there and slipping in little treats here and there. You walked down the beach, your wicker basket in hand, Warren saw you coming and leaned over the rail to the point where you thought he was going to fall over. His loose Hawaiian shirt fluttering around him, open exposing his suntanned chest to you. He whistled at you, making you laugh. “Hey, pretty thing.” He called out, as you got closer you could see him smirking at you from his perch.

“Hey you.”

He lowered his sunglasses giving you a coy wink. “What’s for lunch today?” He asked, reaching down to take the basket from your outstretched hands.

“Turkey club with a side of chips and a slice of cake for dessert.”

He licked his lips, rubbing a hand over his stomach. “You’re too good to me honey.”

You giggled, flushing at his pet name. “I know.” You both smiled at one another, so invested in your own little world you didn't even notice someone else was there until Spencer cleared his throat. You turned to look at him, breaking away from Warren who let out a groan at the loss of attention. “I’m sorry, I didn't see you there. I’m (y/n).”

“I’m Spencer.” He gave you a small wave and you returned it.

“It’s nice to meet you Spencer.” You both exchanged polite smiles. “I’m sorry I didn’t know you were going to be visiting Warren for lunch. If I had I would have brought lunch for you too.”

Spencer opened his mouth to reply but Warren cut him off. “Don’t worry about him babe he was just leaving.”

“I wasn’t-”

Warren shot him a pointed look with a tight smile. “Just leaving.”

Spencer rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah, I get it.” Spencer shoved his hands into his pockets and pushed past Warren to go down the steps to the beach.

“I’ll see you later man.” Warren called out to Spencer's retreating form.

“Whatever.” He replied.

“He seems nice.” You said, shielding the sun from your face with your hand as you watched Spencer walk away. “Kinda cute too.”

Warren scoffed “Not cuter than me I hope.”

You smiled, crinkling your face up at him. “Maybe.”

Warren held his hand up to his chest faking hurt, as if your words had physically wounded him. “You’ve wounded me babe.”

You just laughed. “Well anyway I better let you eat lunch, I’ll see you around Warren.” You moved to leave.

“Wait!” Warren’s voice made you turn back around. He cleared his throat, lowering his voice back to its normal level. “Would you maybe wanna eat lunch with me?”

“But I only packed lunch for you.”

“I’m not that hungry ,anyway, I had a big breakfast. Maybe we could split it.” He gave you a nervous smile.

You pursed your lips, pretending to think over his offer. Warren was watching your every movement, waiting for your answer. “Alright.”

Warren’s face split open in a wide smile, he helped you up the steps and made a big show of pulling out his only chair for you. As you turned away from him he quickly shoved his trash out of view, kicking discarded candy wrappers into the corner and covering them with a bucket. “Wow, you really do have the best seat in the house.” You mused, taking in the waves and the way the sun bounced off the water.

Warren leaned against the counter, his back to the ocean, his eyes trained on you alone. “I really do.”

Talking with Warren was alway made time fly. He was so passionate about his interests that you could listen to him talk for hours on end. And he could say the same, he loved watching the way you talked with your hands and the way you talked faster when you were excited about something. Lunch had been finished long ago and the sun was already starting to set on the horizon.

“I’ve noticed you’ve never gone swimming.” Warren blurted suddenly. His eyes widened when he realized his statement could come off as rude and he quickly tried to take it back.

“No it’s okay.” You laughed. “I just never learned how.” Warren started at you with his mouth hanging open. “What?”

“You never learned how to swim.” He asked, a smirk twitching at the corner of his lips.

“I know I know.” You looked out at the ocean. “I always wanted to though.”

“Why don’t you let me teach you?” Warren proposed. “I’m a pretty good swimmer if I do say so myself.”

“Is that so?”

“I mean that’s what my lifeguard certification says.” He pointed at the hanging frame. A picture of warren hanging next to a sign that said certified lifeguard, and underneath in black sharpie, and an excellent swimmer.

You giggled. “Very impressive.”

“Seriously let’s go for a swim.”

“Aren’t you on duty Mr. Certified lifeguard?”

“Yeah but there no one here.” You looked out at the beach and Warren was right. The beach was basically empty, everybody leaving for home as soon as the sun had begun to set. “Come on, you know you want to.” Warren poked at your side playfully. “Come on, come on…” Warren poked you with every come on until you swatted his hand away with a laugh

“Alright fine!”

“Yes!” Warren took your hand and dragged you down the steps, tossing his Hawaiian shift over his shoulder to hand on the wooden handle of the lifeguard station. You both got to the edge of the water, the waves tickling your feet.

“I don’t have a swimsuit.”

“You don’t need one.” Warren wiggled his eyebrows suggestively making you rolled your eyes and hit his chest. You blushed as you undressed, nervous at how he would perceive you. But when you turned to face him his eyes were wide with wonder taking all of you in. “You’re beautiful.” He whispered, more to himself than to you.

You blushed, pulling him into the water. “Let’s swim already.” He laughed taking hold of your hand. He squeezed it as he felt you tense, the water now up to your waist. He tried to lead you further but you stopped, feet digging into the sand. He moved closer to you, putting your arms around his shoulders. “I got you.” You let him pull you further out, your feet leaving the ground as you both ventured deeper.

Warren tread through the water, his arms moving you both as you clinged onto him for dear life. Your eyes were squeezed shut, afraid that if you opened them you’d panic and struggle against his hold. Your legs were tangled with his, trying to imitate his movements. After a while you opened your eyes, Warren starring at you with a soft smile. You returned it, letting your head fall onto his shoulder, completely at peace in his arms,

“(Y/n)?” Warren asked, wetting his chapped lips. You hummed against his shoulder in response, encouraging him to continue. His heart was thumping in his chest but he knew if he didn’t say anything now he’d let the rest of the summer slip away. He took a deep breath,“I like you.” He blurted it out all at once, almost too jumbled for you to make out. But you heard it, head snapping up to meet his gaze. He watched your face for a reaction, but you just tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling him close. Warren’s eyes widened as his lips collided with yours, melting into your touch. Your lips still tasted like the chocolate cake from lunch, and it made the kiss that much sweeter.

When you pulled away you rested your forehead against his, breathing in his summery scent. “Does that mean you like me too?” Warren asked in an unsure voice.

“Of course I do you idiot.” You leaned your lead back to look at him clearly. “I’ve liked you since I first laid eyes on you.”

“Ditto.”

You rolled your eyes. “How romantic of you Warren.”

“Come on.” Warren mused, his lips brushing yours. “You know you love it.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.” You pulled him close again, your lips molding perfectly into his. Your fear of swimming melting away as you floated in the water with him, knowing that the rest of the summer would be spent like this. In his arms under the soft glow of the summer sun.

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