#haven't made one of those in a while

[psychicbluebirdmiracle]

How I feel tagging my post #amrev

#amrev fandom #amrev #history #meme #haven't made one of those in a while #my memes #les mis #les miserables #the american revolution

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[lucifer-kane]

Seeing audio drama creators be very on board with people making original characters for their thing is so very good and it makes me, a chronic oc maker, so very happy.

#audio drama #while i haven't made an audio drama oc in a long time for reasons that make me kinda mad/upset. i really wanna do it again #main one being a kingmaker oc pair that i've had on my brain for a bit. nothing concrete but like. it exists #/especially/ when they make guides on how to make ocs. that's so fun!! #bc like if a creator is mad or weird about someone making an oc for their thing. idk. that's??? so wild to me?? #if someone made an oc for a thing i made i'd be jumping for joy #(like my friends who've played my helimire dnd campaign(s)(2). those ocs my beloved <3)

[somereallygreathair]

#dwedit #rtdedit #tenedit #doctor who #tenth doctor #hey do we still use all those edit tags lmao #i feel like i remember one turning into something... kpop-related? a while back? #legit didn't go into these tags before posting so we'll find out later #anyway i haven't made a gifset in over 7 years #all my scripts and psds are gone #my videos are 360p #but i wanted to see if i remembered how! #the answer is: yes but my new computer can't do the old ways so i had to learn a new way anyway #used to use a thing called ''topaz labs'' or w/e and didnt re-install it because (and i quote) #''what are the odds i make a gif again'' #oh well #mine #~~ #davidt #dw #billie #edit: i looked in one of the tags and someone did this same scene OOPS

[everye]

tw blood, gore

My Heaven

sh1 locations usually don't get much recognition so i feel like adding some explanatory notes on it (just in case)

the place is the secret chamber in Green Lion Antiques where distracted from prayer alessa is having a tender moment gazing at the point where God's painting is supposed to be

(GOD- IM TRULY BEWITCHED BY THIS GAME THE WAY IT NEVER THROWS STRAIGHT FACTS IN UR FACE AND WISELY KEEPS ATMOSPHERE OF UNDERSTATEMENT TILL THE VERY END SO FKING CHARMING–)

whatever ceremonial stuff it is, it had started to burn before one of harry's passing out

and due to perspective in my drawing alessa stands directly on it ..

i'd like to sum up the post w little art comparison bc i also pursued the goal to redraw one of my old drawings

the first one is pretty rough for sure still luv both of them tho

june 2021 august 2022

seems like i had come to better understanding of what im trying to achieve in terms of composition COLORS and whatnot

ьььь

#silent hill #alessa gillespie #dahlia gillespie #unnamed members of the Order. dahlia's gang in short #incubator #incubus #since it's his actual birth scene #damn haven't posted anything serious in a while .. time during summer when i was deciding on ideas for zine almost feels like a past life #made the choice for a reason y'all already know how Normal i am abt sh1 <33 #although people tend to associate it exclusively w harry or/and lisa which IS fine still sad alessa rarely gets any credit............ #prolly mentioned it before idk but at the very core it's HER game #meanwhile harry is just a witness who brings us into the loop of the story #(not mocking anyone !! tho in that case harry is basically player's eyes and ears) #drawing special attention to My Heaven soundtrack game's ost is hella gud in general but this one f u c k s #oh the moment when i just realized those weird noises are actually roar of alessa's intense s c r e a m s on horribly twisted frequencies #and the God himself is grotesque embodiment of her mental and physical suffering #not to be dramatic but back then i came to sudden realization that i'll never be the same............. #tw blood #tw gore #my art

[no-brand-gays]

anime resale stores here always have absolute mountains of love live figures from every iteration of the franchise with every character and costume you could imagine...except i've never been a figure girlie so i always just look over the shelf in awe because i can't really see myself buying anything. except, that is, for the early love live sunshine aqours figures with no legs. that, i would buy

#were these the first aqours figures ever?? they can't be right? #either way i remember just how early into lls this was #it's really burned into my memory i have no idea what they were made for though #i just always remember them. and their lack of legs #those shops always have the nice boxed up figures and then the ones that were brought to them without a box #left to sit forever in plastic bags on hooks on the store walls (until someone buys them) #some of those come in multiple pieces? like maybe stands or removable parts...? #but i always think it's gonna be one of these and i'm always so disappointed #cmon rashinban sell me one of the ugliest and most baffling love live figures of all time #personal #honestly it's not just figures i'm just really not much of a merch girlie #living in japan is slowly curing me of that though just because of how normalized it is for everyone to have character merch #i bought a really cute kanan keychain a while ago but then it fell off of my bag when i was out :( i still have no idea where i lost it #the normalization of it really helps though honestly #if you'd told me 2 years ago that i'd be buying little nitotan plushes of my fav characters to hold up to scenery while traveling and #take pictures of i definitely wouldn't have believed it #but that's just like a thing that anime girlies do here. i think it's really cute actually #i still haven't gotten around to actually bringing any of those plushes on trips because i forgot 3 times in a row #and then the next trip i took after that was with my family #nooooot a chance. oh my god there's no way i could've explained that and had them been like oh okay

[sojourner-between-worlds]

I normally don't vague post about other people (and I'm not really here, even) but someone in the tag suggested that Jack would make a better Team Leader than Yusei and it made me realize something, in part, about why people think that Yusei is boring.

tl;dr: Yusei isn't boring; he was written as the MC in the wrong genre.

See, Shonen protagonists typically have the following personality traits: loud, brash, hot-headed, sometimes abrasive. Yusei is none of those things, and Jack is ALL of them. Which, I'm sure, is what led that person to say that Jack would make the better leader and what leads so many people (who are mostly only fans of Shonen anime) to say that Yusei is boring. He doesn't fit their expectations of what a Shonen protag is supposed to look like, therefore he's boring.

But the thing is, if you popped him into, say, a Slice of Life, he'd be perfectly at home (well...except for the Trademark YGO Hair anyway) and well-loved by the fan base. I can say this with fair certainty because I've at least never seen anyone say that Natsume Takashi (Natsume's Book of Friends) is boring in any way, and honestly the two of them have very similar temperaments. The difference is, obviously, the genre of their respective stories.

Slice of Life allows for its protags to be softer-spoken, more reserved; Shonen often does not.

It's time people stopped saying that Yusei is boring and just admit that they like loud, brash characters as opposed to quiet ones, and that Yusei just doesn't fit what they expect from a Shonen protagonist.

He's not boring; he was just written for the wrong genre.

#not to mention that sol actually allows for exploration of trauma but that's another story lol #oh also for the record: jack would NOT make a better team leader #loud brash hotheaded and abrasive are NOT traits that make a good team leader #i could make a whole post solely about that but i won't haha #it doesn't mean i dont like jack btw #i love jack! #...but that doesn't mean i think he would make a good leader #anyway #yugioh 5ds #yusei fudo #also before someone comes for my head and starts listing off shonen with reserved mcs #i'm sure not ALL of them fit the description above #i haven't seen every shonen every made #what i CAN say is that of the ones i've seen the mcs usually fit at least TWO of the four traits listed #this also isn't anything against shonen! i like a good shonen once in a while! #i'm just saying there are differences in genre here (which. should be obvious. but this is tumblr. so gotta cover my bases lol) #and different genres have different character tropes #and yusei as the mc does not fit those character tropes #so for people who love that character trope then yeah a character who doesn't fit it isn't going to be interesting to you personally #okay at this point i have an additional essay in the tags so i'm done lol

[sleepinglionhearts]

Man, just saw a post about it, but renewed my frustration over work nonsense yesterday

Being like, oh, cool! It's disability pride month! We get to switch the displays in the store! I wanna make a really cool display right up front!!

Getting a cart to go start selecting books from our wide array of children's books, picture books, YA novels, adult fiction, nonfiction, etc that I know feature disabled characters and people and that I've seen sitting on the shelves for a while, our previous book buyer was always suuuuuper vocal about finding books w disabled characters, after all, representation just MATTERED SO MUCH to her,

And then being absolutely dumbfounded when we BARELY HAVE ANYTHING outside of characters w ADHD/Autism. MAYBE anxiety. PERHAPS a character has cancer. THE FAINTEST SUGGESTION of a wheelchair in one book. Huntington's? Question mark? In another? Conditions resulting in disfigurement/amputation? The concept could possibly exist in this book, uhh.. maybe...... anything else? Ha! Not on these shelves I fucking guess?!

Like.... we have a ton of books w queer rep! Different body types! Different skin tones! Teach your toddler about social justice! Transgender characters! Nonbinary characters! The alphabet but we're making it gay! At least one book, I think, with asexual characters! But no, we don't have our self-empowerment books anymore or the little guide to sexuality and disability, we have Buddhist monk advice for anxious people, but nooooo we DON'T have that cool book that talked about disability activism anymore, and definitely not in time for July!

I know she and I were at odds before she left, and I know my specifically putting "National month of..." prompts up on my desk calendar after she expressed it was "so difficult to find out what each month is the month of!" probably really irritated her, but I'm like. Appalled that she hadn't been ordering to restock for disability pride month since she always made such a big deal about having books like that in the store.

#venting #work stuff #she quit at the end of june #two of my coworkers and I are sorta filling in for her role while a replacement is searched for and all that #i know she put in a ton of orders before she left so I'm hoping things start to trickle in #i haven't gone thru the order submissions in detail yet to see what we're expecting #but i'll be doing that later this week #as it is today was dealing with a mess of half unpacked shipments #and correcting little mistakes here and there and leaving instructions for coworkers tomorrow #gotta say i was so... disappointed hunting for those books #i looked at the sad selection of nonfiction and self help stuff I'd found and was like. yeah i think I'd be offended #if i saw these titles all grouped together for the pride display. it just felt bad #i made a halfway decent arrangement for the children's section but it took a lot of title research #and even then like half the titles i saw in recommendation lists looked so cool and i would think #surely we should have THIS one bc it looks like the sorta thing Buyer would have ordered and it seems neat as hell! #but. uh. we would have no order history for it. #hhhrrhhrhrhrgh if i see absolutely nothing in the orders we will be expecting #I'm gonna order a bunch of books #and try to plan out the next couple of monthly themes #hmph! even if I'm not the books person I'm still gonna put in SOME effort!!

[somethingsgottasaveyou]

I was tagged by @tessabennet to show 4 albums that I've been listening to lately!

1 - Simple Plan // Get Your Heart On

2 - Mayday Parade // A Lesson In Romantics

3 - Frank Turner - Be More Kind

4 - Boys Like Girls // Boys Like Girls

I'm tagging @safety-pin-punk, @when-the-music-fades, @sad-and-dumb and everyone else who wants to do it obviously!

#I actually haven't been listening to many albums specifically lately #but those are the ones I will go to once in a while #thank god I'm over repeatedly listening to tell me I'm alive #get your heart on the second coming almost made it on there but it's an ep #heavy hearts too unfortunately and it's not even on spotify

[sevicia]

I wanted to make a cleaner summary of last week's classes and also review the classes I have this week since the material is already uploaded beforehand but I was feeling so horrible throughout the day that when I sat down I was just gonna look at the ones for tomorrow but I think I'm just gonna go to bed because I just gave my little numbers game a few tries and not even the joy of tribial elementary school-level math games is bringing my brain cells and/or full sentience back

#diary #accessing it through the CMD thing and not just running it from the IDE made me realize a few things about it though so I'll hav #I'll have to maybe jot them down somewhere when I'd normally just be rly excited and try to fix them straight away like I am truly fucked r #I do wanna make an eng version of it sometime soon so I can share it even tho it's literally the simplest little thing. it's fun if you're #an easily amused nerd that loves playing with numbers in a truly useless manner. if that makes sense #also very obviously text-only I am NOT torturing myself with any graphics of ANY kind rn #it closes immediatly as they do and also when it comes to having double/triple digit starting numbers it becomes a lot less fun I think tho #though I haven't used it much with those yet #I still wanna figure out a way of making it better when it comes to 2/3 digit starters. and my original idea included maybe keeping track #keeping track of how many steps you took even between different rounds but I made the simplest version for now. I also think making like a #''this was the least amount of steps possible!'' type thing would be very very cool but that is FAR too big brained for me rn #cause I can figure out how to do the record keeping thing but that last one is like. let's stop talking for a little while................. #oh but adding an actual interface sounds so fun even though I have very little clue on how to do that rn I could probably STOP typing becau #because I can feel my stupid ass self start getting excited about this which will make it so I start working on it instead of going to bed #NO. DOWN !!!!!!!!!!!!!! auhgh............ oh man I had a lame joke to make but I completely forgot what it was #I have coding class tomorrow in which I normally just do the exercises as fast as possible before playing around but the only Python editor #I could find installed on the school computers was Visual Studio Code and I have no clue how to use that shit like I don't need so many #so many buttons. probz. OKAY GOODNIGHT

[waitineedaname]

inquiring minds want to know... where are u watching mzds

my propaganda is WORKING....

the live action drama is called The Untamed, and you can find it on Netflix but also free on YouTube! I'm sure there are other places to watch it, but those are the two that were easiest for me to access

fair warning: the first two episodes are. rather confusing. they kinda just throw you in the deep end. however, if your experience is anything like mine, it really picks up by episode three, which is the point at which this show gripped me by the brain stem and then didn't let go. if you need any help understanding the first couple episodes/the timeline/all the names of the characters, do not hesitate to hit me up!

#asks #puzzlehat #100% serious about offering help if anything is confusing #my friend julianna made me a name guide when I started it and it was SO helpful #because everyone has two and often three names #and the timeline is strange before you get used to it #but once you get settled into the setting it's SO GOOD #GOD I HOPE YOU LIKE IT #even if you don't need help clarifying things PLEASE dm me or send me asks or something #I love hearing people's thoughts as they get into something I like #and as soon as I finished this show I was like ''I need to get someone else into this NOW i need to see their reactions!!'' #also it's based off of books (I'm currently like halfway through the first one) #and there's an animated series and a comic and audio dramas #I haven't watched any of those #but I feel like the live action drama is a good place to start #because it spends a lot more time in the flashback #while the books spend more time post-flashback #so the drama feels like it gives you more context for like. who these characters are. what happened to them. how did we get here #you get to watch the tragedy unfold #and then the books are like. what if the tragic hero got brought back from the dead and got involved in a supernatural mystery romcom #and personally I feel like it's more fun and satisfying to get the context and tragedy first #and then get the Everything Else later #the show ALSO covers the post-flashback stuff #but the two mediums dedicate different amounts of time to it if that makes sense #I'm rambling. I'm very excited by this ask

[unreadpoppy]

if someone is criticizing the representation of a certain group of people in media, even if you do identify with that representation, they are not criticizing you.

Just because I'm saying a certain way a character is portrayed is part of stereotypes in media and that we need new and different sorts of representation, I'm not talking about people who are like that IRL.

Please, stop thinking people are talking about you.

#a few ace people on twitter were saying that although they are happy with Issac's ace rep in heartstopper #they wished they would see different types of rep for asexuals #because it's always an introverted character who doesn't like sex #or something amongst those lines #and while i haven't watched heartstopper i do have to agree #i want to see more ace rep with people who are like party animals #people who have high sex drives and who do fuck a lot #who are weird and funky and part of queer subcultures #and now i saw some people being like well but i saw myself in isaac and people criticizing the rep made me feel bad about myself #and im like i get it #but also #no one is talking about how you a real life person acts #they're talking about how it is tiring that the rep we get is not diversified #it's always the saem #a fictional character is different from a real person #like it is absolutely amazing that you see yourself in Isaac #that's the whole point of representation #we need different types of rep so that other people can also see themselves #cause whenever i see an ace character who doesn't like sex #or doesn't know a thing abiut sex #and they're always the shy and introverted one #i'm like fuck now people are gonna think i don't know shit about sex

[maddy-ferguson]

in october i read my brilliant friend by elena ferrante and then the story of a new name by elena ferrante and then those who leave and those who stay by elena ferrante and then the story of the lost child by elena ferrante and i was like i hadn't loved a book like this since i was like 16 will i ever find anything i like this much ever again. and i still haven't i don't even really enjoy her other books

#the english titles are so awkward like i kind of get it because the og doesn't have the story in the title for the first book either and i #understand not doing the story of those who leave and those who stay very long. but in french there's no the story of for any of them and #it's much better! #and like i say: brf slt #by december 1st i had read all 4 books twice like i was so obsessed #i haven't watched the show yet i want to i just haven't but i want to i think i will like after i finish watching what i'm watching rn i #hope i like it #and i've read other books i really enjoyed i've read other books i loved. but none that i connected with like that💔 #but anyway. i've read basically all her other novels i read troubling love first since that was her first novel i was like hm. then i read #the lying life of adults and i actually really enjoyed it for maybe the first half or for like two thirds of the book like it had potential #and then? i don't know what happened. the last 50 pages especially made me so mad i was like literally what is this. why do we care about #this why are you ending the novel on this??/!?. #then i read the days of abandonment because i wanted to see if i liked it! i did not. i liked it more than troubling love but less than the #lying life of adults. i just started reading the lost daughter today because i'm a completionist and i'm actually liking it fine maybe #because i've seen the movie so i knew what to expect? idk. but it's so frustrating like the neapolitan novels were literary perfection to #me and her other novels are like very average i don't even enjoy them and they're all short like less than 200 pages (except for the lying #life of adults) that's why i finished them and kept reading them. i was also just curious like why am i not liking it!!!! #but i actually know why it's maybe two different things? the neapolitan novels are about two women it's about their relationship and theres #a lot of things about men in the books but still it's all about the two girls while the others are all about one main woman? #except the lying life of adults which is about a girl and her aunt and i think that's why i liked it more at the beginning. #there's that and there's maybe also the fact that we start in my brilliant friend when they're kids and then we see them grow up whereas #in her other books it's like adult women going through...something. again except for the lying life of adults. i didn't #like that one for different reasons it's different because it's from after the neapolitan novels the others are from before. but anyway #it's not like i'm incapable of reading books about adults but yeah i think the coming of age aspect is what made me me like my brilliant #friend and sequels so much like especially in relation to boys and men like just the way it goes is so good. like lila marrying redacted. #very bad but yk it's just all very good #and i also just don't like the style as much? like there's some things i liked or thought were okay+ in the neapolitan novels that are much #more prominent in her other works and when it's not in lila and elena's story it's just not good to me like it's actually bad #anyway. i'm halfway through the lost daughter because it's only 176 pages long and i'm actually having an okay time. but yeah #and it's been less than six months it's not like it's a lost cause or anything and i HAVE read other books i REALLY liked but...

[ronanlynchbf]

Whats going on with mylife

#as per cher's tweet. #i was down with the flu for a bit and didn't feel like making or drinking coffee for like. three days. but i made some 2day and when i tell #you my coffee tasted like when i was sixteen.......like BROOOOOO what in the hell???? what. goes on. with my life. #PUTER! why does my cup of coffee taste like a memory of a past me quickest answer no freeways. PUTER DO U HEAR ME 🤨 #<- actually on that note why haven't they made a lego hand emoji yet that wld be beneficial 2 no one except me but they should do it. NEOW #r.txt #anyway probably (hopefully) this was a one-time thing i did not enjoy being sixteen and i would not like to experience that again thanks🙏 #also i've been rereading the hunger games which. i can't recall when i last read those books but it's been A WHILE. so maybe that was a #reason as well. or at least it might've contributed i don't knowwwwwww

[wookgerine]

Love that they take Bella with the gym with them all the time

#*p #What does she even do while she's there #Do they make her work out too #doing little dog squats. idk how a dog would do that how about a dog plank that is possible my dogs love doing that #i've made this exact post before haven't i #i think i probably even said that exact same thing. well without those tags #they take bella to the gym a lot so not my fault #wait. how do they even get her in the gym #why is that allowed #i 've never been to one but i would assume most don't let your dog come with you. did they have to go ask for special permission like #hey i'm famous therefore let me take my dog in the gym with me. said dog is known for peeing on things but ignore that #i need to go write my homework and stop talking about wayv's dog going to a gym. my midterm is next week and i feel like i am stupid #well at least i am confident i won't be the most stupid person in my class #do you think that's enough words yet #it's like i'm writing an essay and am trying to say one thing but repeat it in three different ways and in as many words possible and #wondering why i exist just to write an essay. but that is also just my stream of consciousness #now on to the real reason of this post: i opened this and tell me why i was MOMENTARILY VERY BRIEFLY light headed at the sight of his chest #i'm so confused did the asexualism just leave my body #hmm #no i think i'm good i still don't want to fuck him #crisis over #...i think

[wambsgender]

.

#allow me to keep hatred envy and poison in my heart for a minute #you know that earthshattering intense friendship you have as a queer teenager that ends badly and haunts you for the rest of your life? #my one of those was between me and another trans guy #i haven't spoken to him in like 6 years. but i have just seen a photo of him and it made me feel murderous #because he came out to his parents while we were friends. and now he has clearly been on T for a while #and i am still stuck where i was 6 years ago. and I'll never be able to be out and transition like that #and after everything he did to me i just cannot bring it upon myself to be happy for him. #that should fucking be me.