#havent really thought about my ocs in a while ive got other shit on my mind
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I would love to play a visual novel of the characters and worldbuilding you've been creating
would be cool. neva gonna happen tho (at least not by my hand)
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tell me everything about your ocs. please
YES OMG
so we have a few choices here!!! some are more developed than others simply bc i thought about them more but theres at least a little bit of lore for everyone here!! ill add an asterisk* besides those who arent fully fleshed out :]
ill be adding a summary of them beside them :]
notes: its a fantasy world (bc i find them more fun to do since i can just go apeshit with designs and loreand shit) so very few of these guys are just human, most are some kind of species which ill specify beside them so just ask for more details if you’re curious!!
these are also not *full* summaries im leaving out some stuff so ask if you want anything specific elaborated on!! (please ask im so so happy to explain ive had this in my head for months and ive told exactly one person so im more than happy to keep ranting)
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vesper: one of the first ones i actually thought up, pretty traumatized older brother to rumi!! has issues with dealing with grief and guilt over his dead bf. tree/plant person (i never gave any official names, but just think of those “[insert thing] as a person” designs!!), specifically based off a cherry blossom tree!! (im planning to draw his quick ref sheet next :D), has a big big sword!!
rumi: vesper’s younger sister!! also traumatized lol, main event that caused it was the same thing as vesper (it was this big deal i can go more into detail on later, its their motivations for like 90% of what they do), dealing with issues after essentially being left to cope and (try to, it didn’t exactly work out the best;;) all by herself/growing up too fast after mentioned event. even though shes younger shes taller than vesper and will never not make fun of him for it. very playful with her brother!! has a big big battle axe that i had so much fun drawing. also tree person, shes based off a willow tree :D, but shes missing her branch/antler thingies.
unma*: dead bf. liiiiitle bit of a femboy. he was really kind to vesper and loved him a lot and FEELS SO BAD about what happened. literally all he wants in his afterlife is for vesper to MOVE THE FUCK ON. desperately just wants vesper to be happy again even though hes dead and gone. honestly same goes for rumi, even though they werent as close as vesper and unma had been, rumi still really cared for him and looked up to him and feels awful about his death, and unma here just wants them both to stop holding on so tight to what happened, move on as best they can, and be happy again. (they’re both getting there eventually tho <3)
dorian: friends with ebony!! also vespers new very very loving bf (although where i left off in my lil imagined storyline theyre not OFFICIAL just yet bc technically in the storyline i havent gotten to that point, but i do already have many interactions imagined already lol), also in turns becomes friends w/ rumi :D. really nice guy, a wandering medic/healer who generally prefers to not kill anyone or attack unprovoked (but he will make exceptions,,,), has some guilt associated with those he couldn’t save, but handles it MUCH better than vesper… (but to be fair its not a very high bar to cross), carries around an umbrella that doubles as a fighting staff. really devoted to helping as many people as he can. as shown in the ref sheet, while i, again, dont have like any official name for his kind hes got those horns and a tail!! (mostly bc i enjoy drawing them hehe)
ebony*: very shy and really really sweet spider girl who lives in a library with a ghost boy!! shes actually trans :D. honestly a little bit of an anxious mess, similar personality to sucrose (genshin) and kohane (project sekai). aside from the ghost kid she lives with, she doesnt talk to many people, and doesnt have much contact with her family since they didnt have a great reaction to her coming out. theyre also kind of overbearing. for her design, honestly shes incredibly similar to muffet from undertale.
ghost kid*: sorry i have like,,, so little on him. i swear i had a name for him but ive COMPLETELY forgotten. if you have name suggestions give me them pls. i do remember how he died though, feel free to ask about that since it technically involves the town ebony lives in too. i do know he has a cute lil paper crown though <3
weiss: mature lesbian gal. shes pretty smart and serious and especially enjoys working with mechanical stuff. literally made herself a fucking gun. what a girlboss. she used to work as a doctor bc she really wanted to help her partner who has a pretty serious illness, but the place she worked for ended up doing pretty fucked up stuff “in the name of research” and she unwittingly helped in those projects. feels really guilty for it but shes still determined to find someway to save her partner. technically on the run with said partner, and they do lil shows together!!
jex: weiss’s partner!!! originally they were inspired by that specific kind of childish character where theyre like “lets play a game heehee!!!” *tries to fucking murder you* “what a fun game :D” (i love these kinds of characters), but theyre not exactly that extreme. however they do really enjoy doing incredibly risky things acting like its a game. just straight up gambles with death constantly bc they find it exciting. their illness really held them back when they were younger, pretty much never allowed to do anything by their parents since they were trying to extend their lifespan by as much as possible, and they felt like they missed out a lot on just enjoying the life they did have, so thats their goal for the rest of their life. they’ve mostly accepted their inevitable death (which pisses weiss the fuck off) and they really just want to enjoy the time they do have with their loved ones doing what they find fun. they also have a big fucking double scythe. because i was gonna give somebody here a synth and rumi already had the battle axe.
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those are all the characters that i can remember so far, if im missing one ill do an update lol
THIS IS SO MUCH MORE THAN I THOUGHT ITD BE HELP
again, feel free to ask any questions id love to answer them
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Whats the hecles thing? Is it atla or fandom related?
😈
Sorry I took a while to answer this I was trying to figure out what all I wanted to reveal about this.
No, Hecles isn't fandom related. But this book that im working on rn (cots not ihiap) is kind of inspired by it in a way.
This is probably going to be a longish post so the rest is under the cut
Hecles is a personal project im working on. I might turn it into an actual books one day but im not sure. Its a really neat story line and the characters are some of my favorite ocs ive created and yeah.
Okay so Im going to give what details i want to share and then talk about the actual characters. My thought process through this is going to be not at all organized.
Eris
History
Eris is a kingdom in this story thing that has a civil war going on. Its a the people vs the government type of thing. And inspired by both the American and French revolution.
The government and royal family is extremely corrupt, and took resources from the lower classes, but the lower classes have been able to survive for nearly a century with this war going on.
Its less of a war and more of the lower class people were revolting and causing a lot of problems and so the government started killing them.
Im calling it a war for a lack of better word. This part of the story is still extremely underdeveloped and is all over the place.
There is a magic system that again is extremely underdeveloped but the premise of it is the royal family is thought to be descended from one of the Universes secondary Gods.
There is a lot of biblical undertones in this but this part isnt it.
There is one 'primary' god, Rora.
And then there are 'secondary' gods.
One of which is Derisue. Eris is obviously part of the name. And this is the one that supposedly chose the royal family to rule by giving them magical abilities.
The reason Derisue decided to give these people magic was because this specific group of people were near extinct from another war that happened centuries ago. So this group of 50 ish people get these powers (there was a system to determine who got them) and were able to fight back and save their type of people and these people gets put in power.
A few more generations and their descendants start to be power hungry and all turn on eachother.
Theres this mini war battle thing and some die and some run away and the one that is left declares themself Queen.
Like I said, some run away and these ones all have kids too and so theres the royal family who have magic and then theres the ones who run away and they kind of introduce this magic into the general population. So theres a very small percentage of people who have magical abilities in this kingdom.
The royal family sees this as a threat and start hunting down these people. But then the rest of the population sees their nighbors and friends being executed and imprisoned and are like 'hey wtf' and get pissed off with the royal family. This leads to rebellions and the royal family punishes these people by taking resources and increases taxes and shit and thus starts the civil war thing.
Propaganda makes the nobility and royal family think theyre in the right naturally.
Something else to note about the magic system is that the further down the generations go the more diluted this becomes. Its kind of recessive too, so you might have someone who has very strong magic but then their sibling is really weak.
So then with all that context you get to where the story takes place.
Magnis and Titas are the princess and prince of Eris.
Titas is a prophet and has a lot of other more minor magic things that havent been established yet. He's like 10-12 years old during the story.
Magnis is the first person in the family to not have powers. Shes 15-16 ish.
The interesting thing about prophets is that they are extremely rare. Like there is only one other person known to have this power besides Titas and thats the son of the first Queen that i mentioned.
The one of the sons prophecies is of a person who is the child of Rora. (the primary god). Meaning this person has the strongest magic of anyone alive at the time because theyre a first generation and like i said everyone elses abilities is diluted.
Then the prophecy says this person will help end the war.
So naturally the family thinks this means in their favor and go to track her down. It takes decades but eventually they find Ourelia, or Oura.
Inspiration
Like previously mentioned this whole story has a lot of biblical undertones to it. But thats only the case when it comes to Oura.
Everything else, the clothes style, architecture, race, has Greek, Indian, Mesopotamian, and Arabic influences.
This changes based on class, mainly.
So the royal family lives in a 'palace' that closely resembles ancient greek temples. Think mount olympus.
The general clothing style for this class is still inspired by the greek, with hints of arabic influences.
There are 5 main classes.
High nobility and the royal family. Like I said, the royal families architecure is mostly greek but as you start to get down into nobility the arabian influences become more prevelant.
Lower nobility. Most lower nobility still has the arabian influences but it starts to drift more so into indian style.
Middle class. This is like people who live in the cities and stuff and get by well enough. The cities all try to copy the first and second class architecture so thats what it looks like.
Upper lower class. This is the modern equivilant of people who are just getting by. They have a house and food and stuff but no disposable income. Like their equivilant to a family living right on the poverty line. Theyre architecture isnt new, they just kind of live in whatever has always been there. And the structures used to be built how Mesopotamian people used to build so thats generally what their houses and shops look like.
Lower lower class. These are people who have nothing. Some are living on the streets in the cities and begging, some are living in ruins. But theyre generally really skinny and malnourished and have no income or anything like that.
The bottom two classes make up the vast majority of the population.
The lower you are the more looked down on you are by the upper class.
The bottom class is usually referred to as barbarians and such and are known for being unpredictable and dangerous.
The clothing generally follows that of the architecture. Oura is an exception well get to that later.
Hecles
Hecles is the poorest territory in the Kingdom. It's inspired by Appalachia and doesnt have a lot of resources so for the most part its abandoned.
It has a lot of mountains so unless you live there its hard to navigate. This makes it the perfect place to hide if your on the run.
The people there tend to be in groups. Or at most very small villages.
But the small villages are very few and far between. And at most like 50 people.
There is a lot of crime in this area so the villages are always on edge.
Children are treated horribly in this area. Theyre often killed or abandoned with the mindset of 'I cant take care of myself so how in the world am i supposed to take care of you. '
So its not uncommon for a toddler to be wandering around in the woods by themselves or for small children to almost form gangs.
This is one of the reasons this class is considered barbaric. If you see a 5 year old kid begging on the side of the road, dont approach him or else he might pull out a knife, stab you, and rob you.
The upper class likes to try to 'tame' these kids as like a vanity stunt. Like take them in and raise them and everything which is okay if they werent the way they were. They would often be abused or slaves or servants and not allowed out of the estate.
The Group thingy
Theres this one town in Hecles that was ransacked by bandits a couple years back and after that happened the entire population that was left alive moved.
Abandoning their children.
So theres these 5 kids.
Vita, Aticia (Atis), Birk, Nuave, and...
🥁*drum roll*🥁
Oura.
These kids grew up together along side others but after the ransack happened they were the ones left behind and not killed.
they were all between the ages of like 5-9 at the time.
So they stayed together and moved deeper into the forest and mountains and hunted and scavenged to survive.
They learned to fight off robbers and shit like that. And altogether this group is very strong and very good fighters and strategic and smart and stuff.
Atis and Vita are two of the people who still have magical abilities. With Atis its very subtle she is very manipulative. So she can influence peoples decisions and emotions in a way (??) its hard to explain. But shes not very strong strong but it came in handy when someone needed comfort.
Vita is moderately strong. Her powers revolve around life. Like she can control plant growth and even had a bit of healing powers.
And then obviously Oura.
Her powers are associated with the sun. Because Rora is the god of the sun and whatnot. So she can control heat. She doesnt know how to use her powers yet but the entire group knows Oura is very powerful.
She also has a lot of spiritual abilities.
I dont feel like explaining those right now.
something they did was watch for nobleman carriages on a path near where they camped out. the mountains are treachurous but they span through the entire kingdom and were smack dab in the middle so there was no way to get around them when you needed to go to the other side.
And so sometimes there would be a carriage with guards who get cocky and either look for kids to 'foster' or are just trying to get through the mountains. Theyre cocky but theyre also naive.
Birk is the youngest out of the group and is actually really sweet and like the baby of the group but they would make him stay on the side of the road and pretend hes hurt so the carriage will stop. And when they did stop the other kids would rob them.
One time there were a lot more guards than anticipated and they got caught and the guards were attacking because they were barbarious kids and Oura is their first line of defense. She used her powers to fuck with a cigar the dude had before they were getting robbed and one of their carriages goes up in flames.
They put two and two together and realzie she has powers and arrest her.
They ended up having to knock her out and she gets thrown into the back of the carriage that isnt on fire and bolt, leaving behind one of the guards.
That guard doesnt survive.
And they dont get Oura back.
Other stuff
Theres a test they can do to see if someone has powers by cutting them and observing their blood.
Normally when someone with the magic bleeds theres a silver shine to the blood.
But when they cut Oura its golden.
No ones ever seen that before.
They call up the royal family like 'hey i think we found that sun child yall are always riping about'
And so Oura is taken to the temple and is raised alongside Titas who is only a small toddler when oura gets there and Magnis who is like 5 or 6 at the time. Oura is 11 or 12 ish.
A decade later is when the actual story starts.
Thats all im giving you about that.
Characters
Magnis
Oura is the main character so i should probably start with her but Magnis is my favorite so oh well.
Magnis, like I said is the first person in the royal family to not have powers. A lot of people accuse her of being illegitimate but theres no way because her mom is the one who is Queen and connects her to the bloodline and yk moms cant give birth to children thats not biologically theirs. Atleast not in this universe, surrogacy isnt a thing here.
By rule, the oldest child is the heir, despite gender. But since Magnis doesnt have powers theres a lot of disagreements on whether or not she should be able to be Queen one day.
Especially when Titas, an extremely powerful profit, is right there.
Obviously this causes Magnis a lot of issues.
Shes the scapegoat of the family and will do anything to pleas her mother.
Think Zuko's impulsiveness and drive and obliviousness mixed with Azulas intelligence and you get Magnis.
Shes an extreme people pleaser and like I said, very smart. She aces all of her studies but she still isnt magic so this doesnt matter to her mom.
When word gets around of a rebellion group thats causing a lot of trouble in the 3rd and 4th class Magnis is the first to volunteer to wipe them out.
Her mom wants rid of her so she says sure and sends Magnis on her way at like 15.
Magnis is very self deprecating and also has the biggest ego in the world at the same time. Miss girl needs a therapist she aint doing well.
But shes fiercely loyal to Oura first and her mom second but Oura and her mom are on the same side so its the same thing right???
👀
But when her mom didnt praise her or pay attention to her or validate her, Oura did.
Oura is major oldest daughter vibes.
This isnt about Oura yet im getting off track.
Magnisses mom (i really need to figure out her name) knows how loyal her daughter is though, and shell exploit that sometimes. This becomes very important eventually but not in a way you guys are finding out today.
Magnis has a playlist and a pinterest board
Go check them out if you want.
Ouralia
Okay so from where we left off with her, Oura got taken to the temple to hang with the royal family.
Oura doesnt have a sense of family and how familys are supposed to operate but she does know what love is from the rest of the group and families love eachother right??? So why does the royal family treat eachother like this????
She all but looks at the Queen and tells her that she isn't allowed to raise her own kids anymore. Oura works with Titas and his powers and talks with Magnis and genuinely loves the kids like siblings. And makes it a point to build a connection with them.
(Or maybe its because Ouras alone for the first time in her life and she doesnt know what to do without a 'group', who knows)
She's very smart. She knows immediately that if she opposes what they try to teach her, nothing good will come out of it. So she 'learns' quickly about the history of Eris and how the magic people outside the royal family are all bad and need to be killed and jailed.
She memorizes what they want her to believe but she doesnt forget how hungry the village was before it was abandoned. And she will never forget the abundance of food they could get off of the carriages. Far more than what a few nobleman and some guards would ever need.
She would always remember the house she shared with her father before he left her alone and how there was a hole in the door allowing the cold to get in in the depths of winter and animals to come in and claw at her feet when she tried to kick them away.
And then there were more rooms in the palace than Oura could count. Some of which she was told were too sacred for someone to step foot in so the door has been shut for decades.
Remember the detail about the foster children? There was one that was a servent in the palace. He was from the 4th class and was about 5 years older than Oura. He had been taken when he was ten and put to work for the royal family. He and Oura bonded quick. He explained the rules to her and told her who she needed to look out for and what questions would get her slapped.
Oura woke up one day when she was 15 and he had disappeared. Oura was too scared to ask but there was a rumor about a banned book under his mattress.
Oura learned quickly that in order for the people she cared about to not get hurt, she needed to be in control. But in order for her to not get hurt, no one could know this.
She dug and found the Queens weaknesses and secrets and only stored them in her mind, less they would be found.
And she knew that there would be a moment when she would have to utilize those secrets to one up her.
I mentioned that Oura has a bunch of biblical undertones.
The child of a God, Saviour of a people, sound familiar?
Ouras pinterest thing
Ouras playlist
Titas
Titas couldnt remember a time when Oura wasnt around. Magnis barely could, but Titas, not at all.
Titas was smart, but unlike Magnis, it wasnt clouded by the need for approval. He got the approval. He was the most powerful person in his family for generations and the only prophet for a century.
And he had Oura.
She learned to read and write with him and Magnis. She would tell stories about her friends when the sun set and they could finally talk without expectations of doing something else.
She told him about the value outside of magical powers and academic abilities. He wasnt just a prophet to Oura.
The rest of his family only saw him that way.
Titas decided long ago that he preferred Oura to his mother. And he knew how to read Oura in a way that Magnis didnt know to. He saw the split second glares as she lectured about political spiels.
And he was with her the night she went through his mothers office, digging for some dirt. Oura didnt think he was old enough to remember, but he was.
He knew Oura didnt like his mom. And he knew that when, not if, it came down to it. He would follow Oura.
#You can tell when i stopped infodumping and started like writing#im too lazy to fix it#it took me three fucking hours to type this all out#I have nothing better to do#But three hours??? For a tumblr post????#how many words is this???#I dont feel like checking#Hecles is something ive been working on for a while and im really excited about it because its my first original thing#that i was able to plot out and outline#but thats all it is right now.#i havent actually worked on writing it in a while#but now i might do that soon#idk#im happy i got asked about tihs#sorry its not a fandom thing anon!#cots is kind of inspired by this#not entirely thought#i also havent worked on cots in a while#i need to do that soon#lmk if you want to hear more about this#i will be more than happy to elaborate more#no one else is as well established as these three#so im not going to bother typing the rest out#but if you want me to lmk#sorry its such a long post i got excited 😂#hecles#max thinks shes relevant#i just checked its 3000 words and change
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do u !!! have any character theme songs for the troop boys? Like any songs you think really fits them (and why u think it fits)?
THATS A GREAT QUESTION!!
Before I get into it Im going to plug this collaborative Troop Playlist on Spotify, feel free to add onto it!! Continuing with my picks
I think a lot of the songs I associate with The Troop in general are just because I happened to listen to them around the same time I got into the book in the first place (So they could only be tangentially related BUT only if you squint hard)
Example: Drunk by The Living Tombstone, cant really tie it into the story but in my mind its linked
Some better, more fitting songs under the cut (Side note its LONGGG IM SORRY... Also its all YouTube links because some of these arent on Spotify :'^()
Disclaimer -Like 95% of my choices arent really a "These lyrics match up exactly 1 to 1" but more of an overall "the vibe/general idea its trying to capture lines up" type thing. If that makes sense.
Its Alright by Jack Stauber: Kind of self explanatory, I think its a perfect song for these guys. From "It's alright, I'm here, Everything's alright, Feels weird but calm, I wanna hear It's alright" to the whole sound of it- its all great. Equal parts distressing and sad with an almost eerie calmness to it. Despite it all theyre gonna be alright, right?
The Second Little Piggy by Worthikids: Another one that I think is sort of self explanatory- at least with the chorus. "If my brain turns to mush, If the shit hits the fan, Will you be my friend?" Kind of the falling apart of everything, specifically their relationships, in light of the incident.
Poor George by James Supercave: Another case of "listened to at the same time I read the book" BUT I was actually making a Troop PMV script with that song. I never finished it but maybe Ill revisit it... just for you
Cold Summer by Le Matos ft Computer Magic: I dont even think this takes place in the summer but the VIBES and also it came from Summer of 84, which is another good piece of murder boy media.
Treehouse by Alex G ft Emily Yacina: This is a Eef and Max type of song because they are bffs and thats final. Basic song because Im not creative, but I think its a nice heart to heart theyd have (with Eef doing the talking)
Fifteen Minuets by Nick Krol: On the flipside heres a song that goes with Eef and Maxs friendship fracturing, once again more from Eefs side than Maxs. THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGG
As far as songs for the boys as individuals hmmm thats a good one that I havent thought about as much...
MAX
+ The Ghosts by The Real Tuesday Weld: That survivors guilt... lyrics arent like a perfect match but I think it gets that sort of hollow feeling across. Hes haunted man...
+ Final Girl by Electric Youth: Ok its a little funny because har har Final Girl Trope but I mean HE IS ONE. ANd dont look at me its a nice song- "Others were gone, and you kept going on, You know they never really noticed, you were always different, One by one, They're all done, And you're the last one standing"
+ Going Grazy by Lonesome Wyatt and the Holy Spooks: HONESTLY this could go for all the characters but Im tagging it onto Max because hes the one who has to deal with the aftermath of losing everyone (sorry survivors guilt Max again </3) "Everyone's saying my mind is unsound, 'Cause I always see you when you aren't around" "They're gonna wrap me in a jacket of white, And lock me away in a room without light" is what cements it as a Max song for me
EEF
+ The Existential Threat by Sparks: Once again starting sad, I link this one specifically to his paranoia about the worms- especially with lines like "Can't they see the existential threat is on its way". Kind of exasperated no one else can see the danger (he thinks) hes in.
+ Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother: I know I know its basic but I cant help it!!! Eef anger issues arc we are shaking hands me too
+ Haunted by Laura Les: Eef struggles with people seeing him as "just like his father" and I think we can get some good angst out of this track if we keep that in mind. Especially the back half of the song with lyrics like "Do you think I'm frightening?" and "Mirrors shatter when I'm passing, broken glass and crashing" since he is just a reflection of his dad (to others at least). Also song good.
KENT
+ Goodbye Mr A by The Hoosiers: Mfw the disillusionment with authority sets in. I think the vibe fits when he had that little epiphany about how adults are fucked- not perfect but it gets the idea across me thinks.
+ I'm Gonna Win by Rob Cantor: Ties into his need to "win" aka be the best at everything, be in charge, all that jazz! Hell do whatever it takes to be successful, even if it hurts. That was a little emo
+ Toba the Tura by Forgive Durden ft Chris Conley: Not to be emo again but "They say you're gifted, well I just see a scared kid. They must have flipped it, your skills are latent. O, you snuffed the glow. Replaced it with coals. Threw away the throne... This mess that you've made, it's a six-foot grave. It's a home for your lonesome bones that remain. We'll disappear, but you'll stay here to rot" AND SO ON AND SO FOURTH representing his fall after it was revealed he was sick. He was referred to as "the uncrowned king" and was on top of the world but then POOF that all crumbled and it was made out that he basically deserved what happened to him. It would be fun to make a pmv of him with this song (Simplifying my thoughts a bit because Ive already written a LOT)
NEWT
+ I Earn My Life by Lemon Demon: Ok a little Kentcore but Im actually having a hard time coming up with songs for Newton so here we are, they can share. Newt existential crisis moment time I guess
+ Know How by The Crane Wives: POV Newt struggles with going through with the plans he makes to keep everyone safe (stopping Max from touching Kent, going back into the cabin, etc) "I am not brave, I am not brave, I keep my focus on what is safe, You drew a line, made up your mind, And now I'm struggling to realize" And also maybe struggling with his place in the group and as a person in general- all that living through his cousin thing. "I gotta wrap my head around, What my heart is telling me, I've been trying to drown it out, Just because I know what I am, I am supposed to do now, Doesn't mean I know, Doesn't mean I know how"
+ On The Outside by Oingo Boingo: Idk man. Hes on the outside lookin in!! Loner nerd!! Its ok though, we still love him
SHEL
+ Bad Blood by Creature Feature: The lyrics speak for themselves: "I can guarantee I will do evil things, The only way that you can stop me now, Is if you put me in the ground, Somewhere I'll never be found"
+ Frontier Psychologist by The Avalanches: Hinges on the fact that the principal or whoever was like "Your sons a freak" and Shels mom was like "HES PERFECTLY FINE" while Shelley was like dismembering an animal or something
+ Johnny by American Murder Song: The songs good but theres this ONE LYRIC that sucks so the link provided is an edited version and also a lovely Warriors oc video I think you should all enjoy and support <3 Anyway Shel would be Johnny I could see this song being a scene in the book. Field trip to Shels house and they find his murder garden
If anyone wants more for Im not opposed to making another post :^)
#SORRY THIS TOOK A BIT#I had to use my brainpower and I am very easily distracted#max kirkwood#ephraim elliot#kent jenks#newton thornton#shelley longpre#the troop#the troop nick cutter
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Babe wake up im going to rant about my ocs lore because im bored
Tw/cw depression, suicide, kidnapping, addiction, unreality
I write angsty stuff for my ocs oops-
When i first started making my characters they were very different in alot of ways and they were very different from what they are now. But i some how managed to glue all the chaos of my ocs together into a semi-coherent story. I went through an insane amount of world building with myself and i honestly dont think ive ever writen or typed any of it out before! its all just up in my head (and you know my memory is trash so ive probably forgotten of alot of things i made before lol). Anyways- i have two main story lines for my characters. Ethan's story, and Vevlet's story. Although i must admit Ethan's story is less complex than velvets simply beacsue it acts as a story of prequeal to Velvets story line. (Alternate realities that happen to have effect on each other basically- we love space time junk)
Ethan's world is very similar to ours, the most similar out of any of my fantasy worlds lol. Ethan's story revolves around self-discovery. I mean for it to be a wholesome/lighthearted thing that quickly leads up to dark undertones (spoilers lol). Ethan's story begins with Eef pre-transition (AFAB to NB). We get to see Ethan learn about themself and have fun exploring emotions and what it means to be alive. Ethan comes from a run-down family (mom khs, dad mia). So he lives with his adoptive parents (who i have yet to design and think about- theyre lesbians 100% though). A major moment for Eef is meeting his partner Seth. As you already know Ethan and Seth are cute ass boyfriends and stuff but guess what! im jammed their story full of angst and edgy shit bc i "wrote" most of this when i was hella depressed! Anyways Seth's family is like moderally welathy, wealthier than most i would say. Seth catches feelings for the emo chick ofc (forgot to metion Eef was definately a hot goth girl before he transitions).... uh yea anyways seth ends up flirting and crushing on eef and eef is like yea sure im bored and sad why not. and they end up dating after a while. Theres an important moment in their relationship when Ethan take Seth to this dead tree. THis dead tree is very important also bc it is where his mother hanged herself, and Ethan doesnt quite remember that bc he was very young when it happened, but he knows it as a place of comfort and he goes there alot when he feels sad or alone. this tree could be taken as symbolizim but heheh ill never tell. anyways Ethan is like yo my fevorite tree and Seth is like wtf okay bro ily and all but why a dead tree with an unstable tire swing?? ANd ethans like idk but i like it here reminds me of my childhood (op my guy) and they spend the night there. Also when ethan comes out to seth as nonbinary seth is just like ok,,, because hes bisexual lol. anyways time skip and Seth has some addiction problems once he graduates, long story short- Ethan doesnt like it bc his dad was a druggie so he trys to help Seth and Seth raises his voice and ethan is tiny compared to his bf so hes naturally like terrified of being hit and he suddenly feels his world of happy and peace he build back up bieng destroyed once again so he heads to his mothers dead tree and decides life isnt worth it anymore, and he hangs himself in the exact spot his mother did.... once seth comes off one of his highs or whatever hes like- oh fuck i yelled and acted agro to my traumatized partner. and he immedatly goes to the tree bc its Ethans favortie spot but its to late. regret is the only emootion anymore... its over for them.
now youre probably wondering how the absolute hell does that tie into velvets lore?? well do i have a tale for you. Velvets sotry begins on her 21st birthday, she is out for drinks with her douchebag bf and her bestfriend. several drinks later she yells over blaring club music shes going to the restroom, and as shes walking back she sees her bf and her bestie making out and she doesnt even say anyhting and walks out alone. She is making her way back to her apartment very tipsy. She then hears a vechile driving beside her, she cant make out anyhting theyre saying and the people in the car get out and before she even relises whats going on shes thrown into the vechile and is being beaten and yelled at. She passes out as theyre driivng to somewhere. When she next awakes she is in a barn-looking place. Concreate walls painted red and straw all over the floor. she cant stand, her legs stung and so did her entire body. for several days- she doesnt know how long she stayed in this place unable to move or do anything. Weak and starving, she gathered up her last bit of strength and hung herself on a low board (havent really worked out the details on that scence bc i keep changing my mind but she does hang herself). Cut to a space of nothingness- legit nothing- exactly its impossible to imagine nothing. In the nothing sits velvet all skin and bone, and then an entity, a hooded figure with long hair, sits next to her. No words are spoke, but the entity looks at velvet longingly. Then it tears out its eye- just full on plunges its hand into its socket and rips it out. bloody mess honestly. the entity hands its eye to velvet, and she takes it. there is no thoughts here, no sound, only actions. Cut once more to a coriners room place? ya know the place with dead bodies and tables and shit- anyways a bright light emerges from dead!vevlets chest and surrounds her entire body. *cue stunned doctor mans* Velvet arises from her death with her scars healed over and... wings. Yup shes an angel now. I mean her world already had monsters and things of suppernatural belonging but- angels are rare. She makes 1 of 2 angels in their relam as of current. Angels are "made" from regrets. Regret overflowing from two sources- one long dead and the other recent. This is where ethan comes in. Ethan's regret from how he died was powerful and sad, powerful enough for his spirt- an entity- to reach Velvets. Velvet too, had much regret in her death. So young and so many things that could have been avoided. In the days following up to her death in the barn/cellar she only felt regret. Regret for all she did and all she didnt do. So much pain summoned the entity. Their powerful forces of regret pulled them together and allowed Velvet to return- but at a price for the both of them. the entity lost its eye- symbolizing a loss of humanity and conscientiousness. While Velvet lost herself, she no longer can view her world in the same way. She has severe ptsd- like episodes and halucinations. She cant go back, she has to live through he own grief. Velvets appearnace also changes quite a bit. Her hair got longer, she has two sleek gray wings on her back, and- one of her eyes are purple now. why does it hrut her to see that eye? why is it all so familiar yet far away. Her human brain can hardly understand all the changes. But she was gifted this- she knows she must try. And luckily for her society sees angels as higher beings. They are given the umost respect but they are also greatly feared because of how misterious their origins are. The only other known angel meets with velvet quite alot through her story, he will act as a sort of guide/plot device to make things a bit easier for myself (havent worked out his lore tho or even a design for him hjbfkjsdb). Anyways im tired and its 1:35 am so thats all the lore you get for now, plus its the stuff ive thought about the most so- i dont really want to think any furtherb ahead yet lol. to many little things to work out...... i love creating but oml typing hurts after an hour or so-
Jam out!
... I don't even know what to say to this
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a list of my entirely way too niche headcanons ive actually implemented for everyones imagination:
name options ive used and refuse to retire: david elizabeth strider (sometimes i dont feel like being a douche to others and saying thats not his name), harley davidson strider, and david james strider for the sake of simplicity
im not gonna tell yall the like. oc exes ive given him bc thatll take eighteen years.
i dont rlly have an explanation on the ghost thing besides the fact he just can? ive occasionally pulled from family ghost stories and experiences bc i somehow got landed with family members who lived in a haunted house for a decade and enjoy scaring me with all the stories (including the time my cousin literally died on the kitchen floor from a bronchial spasm and one of the friends that was over asked my aunt later what was up with the old man she saw in the corner of the room that night - my cousin is fine btw shes just a huge bitch and a third grade teacher and i dont like her)
whether or not hes done drugs is based on absolutely nothing besides how im feeling in that moment. either hes the designated driver and sober friend forever or he got fired from his job after doing a line at work during graveyard with some random customers theres no inbetween (this absolutely happened @ waho. if dave works at waho hes a mess of a person and thats on the diner itself.)
ok look i hc dave w/schizophrenia besides when i was 14 i had a hyperfixation with learning about it and then at 16 was prescribed a medication and had side effects so wack my therapist genuinely thought 14 yr old me was onto something and its a weird way to cope with the idea that lady put in my head that i might “develop it in my twenties” which i turn 20 this year and i havent been able to stop obsessing and panicking over the prospect so PLEASE dont come in my inbox calling me ableist im not out here all harley quinn in suicide squad with the voices ok hes medicated, he goes to therapy, the hard fast delusion that lil cal was nearly sentient and informed bro of every single thing dave did no matter how asinine it was is no longer a debilitatingly affecting him ANYWAYS
i actually use the chicken/egg farming family pretty often just because its hilarious to me to give dave like. an actual mom and dad. hes literally an uncle to like three different kids he just never visits because they make fun of his skinny jeans and he hates one of his (incredibly bare-bones ocs all of them) brothers who threatened to bash his head in with a little league bat after dave broke his star wars lego set apart on accident (but not rlly) so their parents were like “why dont you stay with your brother in the big city for a lil while champ” and then they just never picked him back up? and thats on favoritism
the other one is that his name is actually david reed and hes the middle child of a family of three who literally live the standard golden retriever white middle class life only they went to disney land or something equally as dumb one year when dave was like 6 and he wandered off so bro literally just went “huh free game” because frankly he was an idiot who thought maybe i should take this kid home because its real dangerous in parking lots and then it was too late to NOT have it seem like a kidnapping and thats why daves never had a summer job, seen his birth certificate, or gone to school. but vaguely remembers what kindergarten was like and having a pet dog and calling someone mom as a kid.
im not making a bullet point about his sex life headcanons just use your imagination and acknowledge the fact bro essentially worked within the sex industry and i enjoy putting dave through trauma as a catharsis
i stopped doing this one usually but if he did go to school hes been in percussion since fifth grade and played the drums in his high schools jazz band as well as various edgy teenager garage bands he likes to pretend dont have a youtube presence and that hes absolutely never been shirtless in front of plenty of his classmates because he wore a hoodie to a show like an idiot. idk occasionally ill put him in an actual band he doesnt hate but keeps separate from his lil turntechGodhead internet persona (which i will ALSO touch upon in a sec) until they wind up getting looped into a tour with some bigger named band that has a show in *insert beta kid here*’s city and hes gotta come clean solely so he can visit his online friend. sorry derseasterous thats the one time weve ever run into each other and i made him have a crush on one of his bandmates i was in my anti-daverose phase where i made dave a hoe and also didnt want to admit i still loved the ship all these years later
i hate it so much but you know the whole vr loli trap voice shit that was popular a while ago? hes fucking baller at it for some reason. he did it as a joke while talking to bro and they both about shat their pants. if im feeling real ambitious, hes got a separate soundcloud solely dedicated to doing dumbass rap covers or making his own but in the voice under the pseudonym elizabeth “beth” davids that he will never admit is his. well, he will, but hes gonna be really fucking embarrassed about it. irony or not.
talking abt seperate soundclouds and stuff ive always had it where turntechGodhead was his like. essentially internet fucking persona facade shit he used because we all had that phase where we wanted memorable urls and stuff but also didnt want to totally ignore the nagging fear of people finding you in real life, until it turned into real life ppl finding you on the internet. so he also has basically an adjacent set of social media under the same name but its just a boring username i havent decided on so everyone he knows irl doesnt mix up with what hes made for himself as TG and the people he knows as TG dont know what highschool he goes to. (this occasionally comes with the territory of ppl on parp being pissed that daves “lying” or “hiding things” from his friends as if he was doing it out of spite instead of just keeping embarrassing tagged photos and videos from football games or when he ate shit at the skatepark from fucking with his “rap career”)
every once in a while i get on a kick where hes just german. like, i just replace houston texas with hamburg germany and have him apply to a university in whatever state is applicable for whoever im chatting with and it goes from there? sometimes he moved when he was little and went through the whole visa thing, sometimes he didnt go through the visa thing, sometimes hes a dual citizen because of family and shit, its all dependent on what suits the situation best.
one that ive been fucking with for a while but hardly break out (until recently with like 5 roses in the span of one day hell yeah) is that he has a neighbor at the end of the hall who is like a thousand year old witch lady that hes basically adopted as his mother figure in lieu of not having one and shes totally cool with it, especially bc when she kicks the bucket she fully plans on giving dave all her occult stuff so her figure-skating coach and realtor daughter doesnt sell it at a garage sale and lets it all go to waste. she also once brought rose up by name in a conversation without any prompting of her existence which dave didnt realize for days, and then one time cryptically stopped and stared at an empty space in the wall, went “she has potential, you know.” then looked at him sitting on her kitchen counter with a smile “lots of it” and hes thought about that weekly ever since. (it is important to note one of the occult items he leaves her is literally her own personal book of shadows shes been filling out for decades its like a 600 page leatherbound book dave has no idea what its used for but the sheer amount of homemade spells and etc in it is like. gonna murder rose the second this chick gets her hands on it i promise you.)
theres the standard strife shit? im not rlly gonna get into those theyre all basically cookie cutter bullshit. its just standard bro and dave abuse talk. i like to inclulde the whole 24hr live cam up in the apartment that definitely watches dave in every room besides his own and the bathroom, but that quickly delves into the prospect of middle-aged men stalking him online and basically sexually harassing him in his own god damn home by talking about how they can see him just trying to take his shoes off in the living room after getting home and frankly? its not one of my best takes! but once you throw it into the headcanon bin, its there forever.
he actually really does do something with his photography but not enough to warrant anything exciting, but he has his own branding for it and regularly takes pictures of his friends or anything else he thinks is moderately interesting enough to take pictures of, but those are just thrown into shoeboxes under his bed in favor of posting genuine shots because he wants to keep his image intact and blurry photos of jade smiling in the tree they climbed up together while bec paws at the base of it while whining isnt exactly something he wants the whole world to see.
i also pretty often but him into either paleontology OR i put him down as trying to become a mortician because he thinks handing roadkill once he graduated from museum giftshop specimens to doing his own taxidermy on the side has prepared him enough to perform an occasional autopsy and start embalming real human corpses. (sometimes i put my own desires in and make them his bc i have to project at some point and put him through the same EMT course i dropped out of bc it was one semester and he already has pretty decent first aid skills, but he definitely didnt expect it to be as fucking wild at times as it is, but whats he gonna do? get a job back at waffle house? the company hes working for just offered to pay like half his associates in paramedicine tuition and hes already got all his pre-recs done when he started for paleo. at least its a stable job and hes got the ability to be compassionate in the moment)
im running out of things that ive done to the poor kid. OH
hes not a virgin he had a girlfriend all four years of high school (shes also one of his optional and designated exes plz keep up) and their relationship ends in one of two ways: she dies in a car accident a week before their high school graduation, or she stops talking to him entirely a week after their high school graduation until a couple years later she gets into (guess what) a car accident with her current wife/girlfriend and dies which leaves behind their daughter. who just so happens to also be daves daughter. her name is hannah and i love her like my own but no one ever likes her and thats on the conditioning of dirk. does dave end up taking her in? yes. shes awesome and the first time he takes her to the park to like run off some fucking steam she disappears for two minutes and dave is moderately terrified until she comes back holding a dead baby squirrel and thats the moment he realizes huh maybe things really do be genetic.
ok at the bottom of the list im gonna add the couple of times hes been a camboy which usually coincides with the live apartment cam thing and the amount of people in his dms calling him hot or whatever, but typically its more of a started the day he turned 18 and basically dipped around 20 in favor of showing up randomly with no warning to complain about a video game dick in hand because it gives him an outlet that wont annoy his friends bc this is the fifteenth time hes had a lot to say this week about a certain boss battle and also the comments fuel his ego and daddy issues.
the last one wasnt the bottom but literally unless its explicitly proven otherwise every time anyone rps with me there is the underlying fact dave strider was a goalie on his high school lacrosse teams all four years and (shocker another one) definitely had the hots for one of his teammates like major hots like first gay experience hots. like it was painfully obvious that teammate also liked him back hots. like one night at a team sleepover one of the other guys was like can yall just makeout and get it over with were fucking tired and dave really had the balls to be offended and ask what the fuck they were talking about while literally sitting halfway in the mans lap bc for some reason they had to share the same chair.
he is also guilty until proven innocent of being the worlds biggest loner outside of that sports team and even though hes literally a jock he still opts to eat his lunch alone in the hallway or something like that and has a tendency to leave girls on read, but bc hes got an in with the rest of the jocks hes basically drug around to plenty of parties and since hes conventionally attractive enough and popular in the aloof way that he is, hes got plenty of tagged insta posts and twitter directs and snapchat streaks going.
THESE WERE ALL NO GAME AND DONT INVOLVE SHIPS BC I LIKE TO KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN AND THEYRE LITERALLY ALL BASED OFF RPS IVE DONE I HOPE YALL JUDGE ME ACCORDINGLY
#theres probably so many more i mean#ive been on parp for at least 5-6 years now#ive been on cherubplay probably the same amount of time#and my memory is totally shot to fuck but these are just what i know ive done in the last YEAR#or thought were wild enough to remember#i put it under a read more bc frankly its really fucking long#and i dont want this to represent me entirely#these are also heavily situational based and not like. emotion or reaction based much?#some of them are#i guess i could rename this to like. things ive done on parp#but theyre technically still headcanons a lot of them can coincide with whatever#so theyre not very specific situations#anyways#this took me an hour
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oh sure, he’s just gonna tend to the peaches first
hell yeah
yknow. adri would do so much worse than just cyanide if something like this happened. the cyanide is just a fun lil thing he has for.. certain occasions, but is something actually bit a chunk out of him then that thing is going to have a real bad time
as long as adri’s body matter does not leave the area of influence of his core he’s still very much in control of it. it doesnt matter if he gets beheaded, dismembered or anything so : ) biting a chunk out of him will probably end in a really, really slow and horrible death as whatever thing made that mistake gets their body torn apart from inside out
well, he’s a ship sinker so he does do that, and very much so :^)c
khjdfkhjfdkdjfh gosh,,, thats such a nice thing to say?? thank you so mch god,,,
also youre totally welcome to reply too, even if im not talking to anyone in particular!! i just like talking a lot, getting responded to is great
oh now i just GOTTA turn that into something sad ,’:3
i havent!! but i looked it up and ngl it looks exactly like smth id enjoy and im mad (but yeah im. totally watching it tbh)
“are you eating an actual real person in there??? i thought they were just the worlds loudest chips??”
“what the fuck im making noise specifically so you would assume”
“why would i immediately assume that”
hh....... i didnt consider that tbh..
could also be like ?? he’s got some magic that turns things to stone? in any case though,, its another layer of Edge™ i probably gotta add on him.
god really? man
i know a couple of my friends like it but ive never been able to gush about it w anyone i dont think :’) i just want to!! yell!! abt this movie
HOOOOOOO BOY,,,, THATS LIKE MY ABSOLUTE FAVE NGL,, HMMMMMMMMMMM
i just... EXTREMELY love parasitic nonsense,, its Top Shit tbh. I didnt even realize it until a lil while back but a lot of my ocs/content as well as most if not all of my fave fuckign movies fall into this trope and i didnt even realize it jkdfhjfdd
but yeah like? being forced to watch yourself become a monster and being powerless to stop it? esp if its some other horrible entity stealing ur body?? i love that sm
im def planning on it!! I can’t do much atm since i have very, VERY limited free time (that siege ref took me a long ass time to do bc of this, so im guessing qb’s and deimos’ (and also potentially lena) will take a good while to do too. im not good or experienced w robots so it takes longer)
but yeah! they’re comin
also ofc i gotta show qb’s absolute INDUSTRIAL GRINDER HELL MOUTH bc
#ask#anon#windyart#qb#dfhkdjhfgkjfh im love her sm aaaa. kinds sad she's not just a cube anymore but. hmmm what can ya do#ask dump
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tell us more about your two lovely OCs please! how did they meet? how did their ship start? :eyes:
oOOOHGFGGGGG BOYYY Okay well ive only had them for about a week or so? two weeks? not very long so some things are still prettyyyyy loose/vague, despite HOW MUCH time ive been putting into them LOL but there’s some pretty solid building blocks regardless so Here We Go
to clarify ahead of time in case i havent already somewhere, SAINT is the robot with the toothy mask and Maverick is the guy with the white jacket
READMORE CAUSE HOLY FUCK THIS GOT LONG
ill be honest, they start off trying to kill and generally being pretty nasty to each other....! they’re both assassin/hitman/mercenary types so theres naturally a lot of rivalry there over who gets the real good jobs and stuff, but it’s made pretty personal right off the bat because Maverick is very smug and annoying and from the second he meets SAINT he makes sure to make it ABUNDANTLY clear that he’s better than him. Maverick’s been in the game a lot longer than SAINT; the first time SAINT ever takes a job, he shows up to crash it and steal this Super Secret technology he had been sent to grab (which he was going to do ANYWAYS bc it was tech related to human augmentation, which he’s a Big Fan of, but SAINT getting there first presented him an opportunity to be an aggravating show-off, which of course he couldn’t resist...). underneath the snarky flair with which he one-ups and outmaneuvers SAINT in this first encounter there’s a pretty serious threat to step off his turf Or Else, which as i said sparks a pretty bitter, intense rivalry
they spend a Good Long While beating the shit out of each other, like its ON SIGHT every time, Maverick has the upper hand for the first while, considering that while SAINT is COMPETENT, having been developed for combat, the fact still remains that he’s technically not a robot, but an AI whos spent a lot longer living in a computer than running around out in the world. he eventually gets the hang of it though, and learns to see through a lot of Maverick’s feints and tricks. they get pretty into it, SAINT has torn off one of Maverick’s (entirely mechanical and therefore fixable) arms in a rage because hes SUCH an insufferable dickhead, Maverick has trapped SAINT in a gigantic gas explosion... its kind of a miracle that the two of them make it out the other side alive every time??
it starts turning around when in the middle of one of their dumb scraps they get grabbed by some shaaaaaaadyyyyyy paramilitary group that i havent Super developed yet, but they turn out to be the Main Villains of the story so yknow theyre important. the two of them are of interest because Maverick’s got absurdly advanced augments and implants, like “shouldnt really exist” advanced, while SAINT is a cutting-edge combat AI riding around in a unique, high-tech body. the intention is theyll both be picked apart to be reverse-engineered, but not too long after getting caught and detained, Maverick manages to break himself out, bc being a slippery little weasel is kind of his thing
he then DELIBERATELY goes out of his way to track down SAINT and get HIM out too, in his words because “even though SAINT’s a pain in the ass, he doesn’t really deserve to be straight-up tortured”. unfortunately he can only find SAINT’s AI, and not his body, and given that he’s got precious little time to figure out what to do, the two of them pretty much settle on getting SAINT’s AI out of the facility and then coming back later for his body. unfortunately AGAIN they’re both idiots and think uploading a fully fledged combat AI suite to cerebral implants that are only really suited for enhancing reflexes and split-second decision making is a good, reasonable idea
long, painful story short, in the time it takes to escape and get to safety, Maverick’s brain almost practically melts from the strain, nearly killing both him AND SAINT in the process. luckily with the help of a guy named Harlan, a genius bioengineer and Maverick’s ex they manage to get SAINT out and into a server he can live on for the interim
they do eventually get SAINT’s proper body back after a time where he has to live between a server and a shoddy temporary replacement body (which he is very angry about the entire time) but i havent Exactly figured it out since that has GOT to be very difficult and probably more than a 1.5 man job. the two of them actually manage to have some actual normal conversations during this time but its kinda awkward and stilted. theres a fair amount of realizing like “oh huh this dude is just A Normal Guy with like, thoughts and interests and stuff not relating at all to wanting me dead” on both sides
after this point they still butt heads fairly often but its toned WAY down; SAINT especially is kinda like “Hm.” because why on earth would this dude go so far out of his way to nearly die just to save someone who his only interactions with have been filled with vitriol and violence...? (spoiler its cuz Maverick is generally actually a pretty good and selfless guy underneath all the smugness and attitude)
eventually they start teaming up instead of constantly smacking each others’ wrists at every turn, around when the story starts really picking up and said aforementioned Shady Paramilitary Group starts becoming a proper real threat and theyre joined by a whole cast of other characters that i havent drawn yet (Harlan, as well as Leta, an AI programmer who worked on an early iteration of what eventually became SAINT, Jamie, Maverick’s older sister who’s a mechanic/pilot, Eleven, super-hacker extraordinaire, to name a few)
their progression from “kind of awkward friends” to “boyfriends, actually” isnt sth they rlly think about directly, its literally. theyre both so goddamn STUPID it takes another character pointing out how theyve gone from “he’s fine, we work together pretty well i guess” to “id literally willingly die for this guy at the drop of a hat and also oh yeah i let him have access to some of my tech functions so we can keep better track of and support each other during operations better” for them to be like “wait oh shit oh fuck i might be in love”
THAT GOT SO GODDAMN LONG I LOVE THESE DIPSHITS SO MUCH IM CONSTANTLY BLOWING UP MY OC TWITTER W SHIT ABT THEM....IM TRULY LOST IN THE SAUCE ON THIS ONE...
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Ok... im gonna be serious for a sec here...
Its so tiring to see so much drama in fandom spaces
Like first there's the fact that hey, people have to fucking stop obsessing over people, digging, stalking, doing all this shit to people who don't deserve it. Do your own research, know your facts, and know when to quit. Its almost like people get pleasure from drudging up muck on others and its sickening. Block, move on. I'd understand if there was a huge, major issue, but especially if you've got your facts wrong you're only ruining the day of another human being over and over. The block button is easy and free. It pays to distance.
Like seriously some of y'all are staight up stalking people like you're out for blood, stalking twitter handles, screening twitters and tumblrs and hell even more personal places and where blogs have gone when ive never even seen proof of any claims prior. Many others havent either and even worse some blindly follow. Its not funny or cute or a spiritual duty to oggle at these individuals this is just horrible and if you really, honestly get joy from driving people away even after they correct their problematic behaviors or follow your tips because they were non the wiser on a subject, there's something wrong with you. If you're obsessive like that, with a non forgiving never forgetting policy, just don't even interract. Re-evaluate what you're doing here. People grow and change and its ignorant not to believe that. If people never changed, we wouldnt be where we are as a world.
And second, the drama of bringing it up over and fuckinng over again. Neverending. I thought ive seen the last of the talk of this person but hey!! Here it is again! Right in my face! This gets so tiring and i can speak from experience when i say drama over something as a fandom, ship, headcanon or whatever just makes people lose interest.
It disheartens it disgusts after a while even until theres so much bombshells to have to watch after that, and you feel you can barely move. There's probably other people that feel this too who are more watchers, and even if you are/think you're doing good by spreading info there's a point where it goes to be too much. You drive people away, it makes nobody wanna have a say or interract. I personally have dropped interest in many a thing for this reason. This person's bad, that's cringe, that's not correct even if it the majority headcanon isn't real, incorrect even if the headcanon is rare! Like seriously, unwind. You can dream and like all you want! Just don't start shit or start lying about other people because they disagree! This or that, that or the other thing, it makes me wanna roll up a paper and smack you very gently on the head because, im angry, but im not violent! Its just so much endless back and fourth because nobody can let go, and people try to drag it out and just aah, how do you still listen to yourselves type? Speak? How are you not tired of an endless debate that you keep going back to?
Look, i used to kind of be that way with ships. I used to hate a popular, nonproblematic few for no reason other than i didn't like the chemistry of it, or it made me think of bad things personal to myself, and i used to bash. But someone who is currently like one of my best friends pulled my head outta my ass and was like hey! Thats not cool! Chill! And over time, with their help, in some ways, i unwound and saw that what i made myself hate wasn't bad. It was chill, and now if they asked me for a doodle of something they liked cuz they were down I'd do it woth a smile. People are as numerous and varying as stars in the sky, and nobody will think exactly like you do, so don't try to snuff them out or change them if they don't want to. Informing and forcing are two different things, with a very fine and defined line between.
Ships and headcanons that are good are good. Popular ones are fine, so is straight, so is gay, bi, lesbian, trans, polly, platonic, rarepairs, crossovers, tasteful ocs, not really going with theme or order, those are what i talk about when i say its fine to like and let people like! If you have comprehensive skill and know what im saying and arent gonna be like, "ah, so you advocate for *insert horrible thing i obviously never meant*!!! Disgusting for shame!" Then you must understand!
I guess, the TLDR here would be this: Unwind. Take a breath, try please try to get along with someone, don't spread hate, see things from their perspective and if someone bothers you, and they aren't actively advocating for disgusting things and nothing can br proven but you still have that urk, please. For your and everyone's sake. Look at the block button. Press it. Breathe. I swear, things will be so much better if you just let yourself have peace. It's a simple act of pure self love.
Otherwise, you're only sitting there, endlessly trying to get fleeting enjoyment from meaningless, hurting drama. And nobody wants that suffocation in the end.
#fandom#discourse#looking at you...#coroika#splatoon#splatoon 2#drama#text#medium post#im sorry#but i just need to say this#i go in the tags and see this and i just want people to get along and stop obsessing!#tumblr#hellsite#hell site#tungle dot hell#i know im preaching to a deaf choir but i mean. if you disagree just don't touch me. block me. i want to believe people can change#for the love of god be positive#*covers my head with pillow* im gonna snooze now
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Old Times -Part One
Summary: Negan stumbles upon a familiar face from life before the end of the world.
Pairing: Negan (The Walking Dead) x OC
The dead walk the earth, the living survive on nothing but fuel in the form of safe houses and scraps of food they find or hunt. It wasn’t the way Emily ever thought things would be, or anyone for that matter, but there she was, hiding out in some old, abandoned cottage in the middle of the woods. She thought this would be her safe place, somewhere she could feel comfortable sleeping without the fear of being eaten by walkers in her sleep. She was wrong.
Emily had woken in the middle of the night to the sound of pounding on her front door that she’d hardly reinforced given her false sense of safety. That was mistake number one. Mistake number two came when fear started to override rational thought. Instead of running for weapons when the door cracked open, she attempted to hide herself in a small closet.
As the dead drug their feet in, they became frantic, or as frantic as the dead could be, in search for the living flesh they smelled and craved. Her hands shook and tears ran down her face. “This is it. This is how it’s going to end.” She thought, feeling more hopeless than ever.
Just when she had given up all hope, she heard something that would change the course of her awful night. The croaking sounds of walkers dying tang through the cottage, making her perk up and wonder what on earth was going on out there.
When the sounds of smashing and crushing finally came to a close, foot steps could be heard around the area. It seemed like only one person, but Emily couldn’t imagine a scenario where one person could kill so many walkers. And although it was against her better judgement, she slowly and quietly crawled out of the closet. She gasped as she was quickly met with the rotting face in hers. She threw herself into her back and took in the bloody scene around her.
Just as she started to get overwhelmed, a figure in the doorway took her attention. “Ho-ly shit!” The man exclaimed, oddly amused somehow. A barbed wire covered bat was sling over his shoulder, dripping with blood. He seemed unfazed by this. “We got a live one.”
“You did this?” She asked, not sure what she was more horrified by, the graveyard around her or the man above her that caused it without a flinch.
“Yeah and saved your ass in doing so.” He chuckled as he rest back on his heel. “What’s your name, doll?” The room was dark and she couldn’t see much, but she recognized that voice from somewhere.
“Emily.” She answered without thought, his demeanor and authoritative stance made her feel afraid, but he’d just saved her life. She couldn’t be anything less than grateful. “Thank you, for this.”
“Emily.. Have we met?” She was taken aback by the question, but upon really looking at him, she realized he was right. They’d met before, long before the outbreak.
“Negan?” She answered, trying to hold back a smile. She stood up and brushed herself off quickly before going back to the conversation. “You’re alive? What are you doing here?” She hurried to him and hugged him out of a rush of relief and joy.
“I could ask you the same thing.” He hugged her back, almost dropping his beloved bar in the process. His smile was still there, but it wasn’t the normal, cocky grin he often wore. He was shocked to find someone from his old life, relieved even. It suddenly made him miss the old days.
They’d met long before the outbreak, looking at her was like looking into the past, into a place he dearly missed when he let himself think about it.
He pulled away from him to look him in the eyes. He looked almost just as he did the last time he saw her, except maybe more muscular now. “I haven’t seen you since..” she trailed off, remembering exactly when she saw him last but didn’t want to say.
“Since the bar.” He finished, and in the back of both of their minds they remembered their first and last meetings.
Negan’s wife, Lucille, was harsh and demanding and every part of him felt his marriage had failed. They fought so often that he barely knew what it was like to laugh with a woman anymore, until he met Emily. He’d often go to the bar to get out for a while and let things cool off at home. That’s where he met her.
She was shy and new to bar tending, she wasn’t cut out for it but she was pretty and men tipped well. It wasn’t what she really wanted to do in life, but it paid the bills.
It was a slow night when Emily came into work. It was the last shift, and a short one at that. She was ready to go home as soon as she came, until she noticed the tired looking man at the end of the bar. A few others lingered as they sipped their drinks, but it was him she was interested in. “Hey.” She smiled as she gained his attention. “You okay?”
“Doin’ great doll.” It seemed like he’d actually meant to sound more honest, but it came out sarcastic. “Mind filling this up?” He slid his glass over to her, and motioned toward the nearby bottle of whiskey.
She lowly watched him as she poured the whiskey. She slid his glass back and checked on the other bar dwellers. After a few moments of contemplation, she went back to him. “Want to talk about it?” She pried, making him chuckle.
“That obvious, huh?” He rubbed his eyes with his hand and took a deep breath. “Think I’m here for the same reason most of these lonely, alcoholic bastards are here for. Angry wife.”
“Ooh. That bad, huh?” She rested her elbows on the bar and sipped on her soda. “By the look on your face, I’m guessing it’s one of two things. This is your first big fight with a wife you’re crazy in love with, which I’m going to doubt since I’ve seen you here once or twice, or this is becoming so common that you don’t know what to do anymore. Am I close?” She found it easy to talk with him, despite her normal reserved nature.
“Spot on, sweetheart.” He chuckled and sipped his drink, looking confident but deep down she knew he was feeling down.
“It’s Emily.” She smiled and lightly tapped her name tag. She got a smile out of him, which was really all she wanted.
“Negan.”
From that moment on, they bonded over broken relationships and their off sense of humor. It was an unexpected friendship laced with some kind of flirtatious nature, as time went on.
Negan quickly became attached to Emily, as he was able to use her as therapist and friend. She reminded him how to laugh, and she helped him forget about the rest of the world outside of the bar. And although the friendship was innocent enough, he knew himself enough to know he had feelings for her.
Emily, on the other hand, was incredibly oblivious to Negan’s flirting. She saw it as a joke most of the time, just friends kidding around, even if it did make her heart beat out of her chest. He wasn’t someone she ever imagined she’d want to be with, but she couldn’t help but imagine it at times. She found safety in him, as he was always there to ward off the seemingly sexual predators that frequented the bar now and then who always wanted more than a drink from her. She found solace in him, knowing she could vent if she needed to and ask for his opinion. He was honest and caring, something rare, she thought.
The last time Negan saw Emily, he knew it would be the last. The news of Lucille’s cancer made things hard for him, and he knew he couldn’t keep seeing this girl anymore. As much as it hurt him, he knew he had to let her go.
He walked into the bar, his composure slightly different than normal. His confident stride and cocky smirk had completely vanished. “Hey you.” Emily greeted him as he took his normal seat. He mumbles out some sort of greeting, but it was incomprehensible. “What’s up buttercup? Bad day?” She asked, thinking he and Lucille must have gotten into some kind of major fight.
“Yeah.” He shrugged. “Definitely a bad day.”
Emily frowned, she hated seeing him upset. “Whiskey kind of day, huh?” She poured him a drink but he put his hand out to stop her.
“Look sweetheart, I’m not staying today. I just wanted to drop in and give ya this.” He dropped a folder note down on the bar for her to read. He didn’t have the courage to tell her what he desperately needed to say, especially knowing it wouldn’t get him anywhere anyway.
Emily picked up the letter and looked him in his sad eyes, somehow knowing she wouldn’t see him again. “What’s this?” She asked, not really wanting to open it.
He sighed and looked away for a moment, trying to figure out what to say. “Read it later, okay? Lucille’s got cancer so I won’t be around much anymore. Just thought I’d say ‘bye’ to my favorite bar tender.” He tried to make it light, but this didn’t feel good for him, it felt like a break up.
“Oh. I’m so sorry to hear that.” She nodded, squeezing the paper in her hand. “Well I hope I see you around some time, Negan.” She forced a smile, even though no part of her felt like smiling.
“Me too, princess.” He walked out, feeling more broken than he ever had. It was hard, knowing she was about to find out what he’d been feeling, and not being able to do anything about it. Not to mention the guilt he started to feel about having feelings for another woman while he was married.
It was tough on the both of them, but they never saw each other again. Not before the outbreak, that is.
“Yeah. The bar.” She said, slowly. She didn’t want to remember that night, but she still had his note. She carried it with her the moment she’d been forced to flee her home, knowing it was all she had left of him and the old life she’d lived.
“I’m real sorry about that Em.” He started, but she didn’t want him to finish.
“How’s Lucille? Is she-“
“Dead.” He said, abruptly. “She died while all the shit started hitting the fan. Turned into one of them.” He shrugged, feeling a little defeated. He hadn’t really talked about it before, but he knew he could trust her.
“Oh. I’m so sorry.” She hadn’t expected that answer, somehow.
“Don’t be. I’m glad she didn’t have to deal with this shit show.” He motioned around them, and she knew where he was coming from. Part of her wished she never had to deal with it too, but the other option scared her more.
“Right.” She nodded and looked out the window. She felt nervous, never did she think this opportunity would come. Honestly she figured he was dead. “So what are you doing here? On the run?”
“Never.” He said, confidently. “I run a place called The Sanctuary. It’s an old compound we fenced in. We take in everyone we can, make deals with other communities, you know.”
“Thats sounds amazing. I’ve been on my own since this started. Somehow I’m still not any good at fighting these things.” She laughed, knowing her weaknesses.
“How the hell have you been living in this without fighting?” He asked, semi amused but mostly worried.
“I just go from house to house. I board everything up and live on the food and stuff there until it runs out, then I venture off to a new home.” She wasn’t proud of the way she’d been living, and honestly she had very little contact with anyone since the beginning. It was amazing to her not only seeing someone, but seeing someone she knew.
“Come on, come to The Sanctuary with me. We got food and hot water, even beer.” The offer was enough without the luxuries he’d mentioned. She realized she still had feelings for him, and she wondered if he still felt the way he said he did in the letter. There was only one way for her to find out.
“I’d love to, thank you.”
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jade, of course, is still trying to deflect rather than own up to anything at all. im too lazy for screenshots so youre going to have to deal with text for this one. you can see their post here though. and if receipts are needed they are most likely on the callout blog or you can come to me if you cant find them.
“uses their own dead grandma as leverage out of nowhere literally months after the original argument”
jade are you really that braindead. like youre still just proving my previous point. youre still practically shitting on me for it. i gave a reason as to why that night was so traumatic for me because you keep trying to make it seem “like it wasnt that bad” by your own words!
also like uh, jade. you yourself have used your aunt having cancer as a reason to just... excuse every single action youve done. so again, take that and choke.
“abuses their own bf/ex but its fine because he abused her first lolololol!!!”
jade i... honestly have no words. youre still defending a pedophile, and you even admit he abused me. like, yes, i cheated on him. but how does the fact he is a pedophilic abuser not process through your head. why are you so set on defending that. a genuine question.
“flips back and forth on whether they were actually abused or not whenever it benefits her“
theres... nowhere that even says that in the link you posted. are you posting that to still try and imply i lied about the abuse you inflicted upon me or...?
“refriends their own ‘abuser’”
ok well one jade, you still have no actual proof ive befriended broden at all. all you have is a like on a fucking post. really how braindead is it possible to be at this point.
and regarding bailey, i never called her my abuser. you were the one to do that. you said she abused me after i showed you screenshots of what went down between us. and whats worse after i even came to you and showed you the screenshots and you got involved with that mess?? you still wanna try and say what happened was fake. like you wanna call me two-faced, yet youre so quick to change your mind once you realize that person doesnt benefit you anymore.
also! for someone whos a survivor of abuse, you sure as hell dont realize a common thing between us survivors is literally going back to those who’ve hurt them right?? like you keep bringing this up as if im fucking lying about the whole thing when im not since again, i came to you while we were friends with the proof. i can even post them if need be. and honestly it doesnt even fucking matter anymore ive broken contact with her after shortly realizing my mistake.
“denies other ppls abuse just because they doesnt like them and a few vent discord messages means they knows literally everything abt it“
i can admit to saying i denied your abuse because there is actual proof that you werent abused two years ago, not because i dont like you. do you really just think nobody will believe proof right in front of them jade??? do you think youre some perfect princess who can do no wrong???? like jade the proof is right @deeancie, @estweri, @honeykeis-callout, and even here. you really expect me to just not believe it if i didnt hate you. you honestly need some real fucking help if thats the case jade.
and really like. if you say your bf clams up when you go to him... what else am i supposed to believe. sure i can be wrong, but reading that shit can really make you wonder what is going on between you two. and jade you wanna say that like you yourself dont do that shit. remember all the times you read vague text posts and would go on a tangent as if you knew every little thing about what was going on in my life. yeah kinda what i thought.
“says grooming minors is talking to people One time“
i love how you fail to leave out the fact that these people were minors and that youre practically defending loli. so if youre still talking to these minors and since youre still defending loli, then yes youre grooming minors into thinking loli is ok.
“straight up let a minor into their porn server on discord (they can go as rabid about this as they want but they still straight up showed an actual minor graphic porn but IM a pedophile bc i rb anime sometimes lmfao)”
again its been resolved. like ive acknowledged it was wrong of me to do and ive changed it. and how can you say you just rb anime sometimes when. you literally are reblogging this kind of fuckshit. like do you not remember reblogging that obviously naked child in a collar or what. the difference is i realized my wrong and changed it while youre still rbing actual loli.
“lied about the relationship (the one where they abused each other and she cheated on him with her other abuser???) having elements of pedophilia because they lied about her age”
this is so... ive told you i forgot. the ages. i was literally an age off for the both of us. like what else do you want me to do about this.
“has sketchy as fuck ocs, including one thats physically ten who would force their adult self insert to be naked around them and also drew them being physically beaten“
while the first was true (but i dont have that oc anymore), where in the fuck did i draw them being physically beaten lole??? are you pulling this out of your ass to deflect you yourself rbing beaten children????
and i swear to god if you bring up this comic, im going to scream.
“is a stalker and an abuser. by their own logic“
ok like. a couple of things to this. jade when are you going to get it through your thick skull i didnt give a shit if you were lurking or not, it was the fact you would comment on my every move. which is stalking by the way and incredibly creepy like get a life!
and an abuser “by my own logic”. the link you shared, again, doesnt show that anywhere. also with how badly of a hypocrite you are, thats you. you told me it was abusive to call people delusional. you started doing that once i realized my wrong and stopped. you told me it was abusive. you told me making people relapse was abusive. yet once i relapse you still didnt give a shit and somehow that makes you in the clear (though i still dont give a shit we both literally did that to ourselves the point is youre an abuser too to your own logic). you said trying to gaslight people is abusive (which it is). look at the stacks of proof i have of you gaslighting me. like i could go on but all the proof if here on this blog.
“oh and dont forget they foamed at the mouth that i didnt instantly know when they changed their pronouns but has been proven to have Actually knowingly misgendered me for weeks“
jade the fact you were lurking should make it fucking obvious you should have known my pronouns. and for weeks?? jade i misgendered you in your callout, which i immediately changed once pointed out. will you please stop lying to make yourself look victim and just tell the truth for once in your life.
“also apparently i can call them rae and its not deadnaming because its not their birthname so“
oh my god youre literally fucking braindead it hurts to watch at this point. no rae isnt my deadname. but i do prefer not going my that. the whole point of that was that you tried screaming transphobia because someone called you by a previous name you went by. you fucking dumbass.
“claims to have bpd but doesnt even know what cluster b is holy shit!!!“
what do i even say to this jade?? what does the fact i didnt know what that was at first matter to me having bpd??? also are you just gonna shrug off the fact that you first claimed you got misdiagnosed with autsim, then suddenly you do? you claimed to have bipolar disorder, then later you suddenly decide you have bpd??? kind of sketchy if you ask me!
“tries to send anons under my name but forgot that their friend levi doesnt even have me blocked so why the fuck would i go on anon if i would ‘sign’ it anyway hm“
a....... are you implying i was the one to send those....? is it because you realized once you did so it backfired?? jade for someone who wanted to claim i was the one making up conspiracies, you sure make up a lot of them.
in conclusion: jade you still are just deflecting! you still havent defended any of the shit me or my friends have called you out for! the fact you still havent admitted to them or so much as even defended the claims sure does speak a lot! stop deflecting and lying and just fucking come out about it!
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1-50 OC questionnaire !!
ill use ary
1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?anyone else paranoid about people stealing their unpublished work or ideas or name bc me. her name is ary and i found it from a generator [lmao so original] and i thought it was cute. her last name is like pretty standard for fantasy and it inspired me to have everyone elses last names in a similar vibe2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?WELL lmao shes had a lot. prisoner #22876, the wraith, princess ary. ive scrapped all except the prisoner one and u can guess how she got it3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? she was raised among royals and nobles so she has a lot of good memories with her parents and other kids her age running around doing dumb shit. most of her bad memories happen once she becomes a teenager4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? she has an overwhelming love for her parents, she idolizes them heavily and is grateful for how much they taught her. a good memory is probably them teaching her how to use magic for the first time and she being unable to control it and almost burning her eyebrows off lmao5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?no siblings6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?tbh i havent thought much about their education system as young kids, since its not really relevant and i dont tend to worldbuild stuff that never shows up. however she did attend an academy specifically for her magic caste and she had a fun time up until some shit went down and she deserted. shes pretty competitive and liked versing her friends7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? she was one of those weird kids who preferred hanging out with her parents over everybody else. so she had one good friend in the academy whos still her friend today, but otherwise she would race home and annoy her mum lol8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? no pets. she has a soft spot for horses though, because she has had so many in her “career”9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? horses like her, i guess they can sense shes good with them. at one point in the novel she sees some jackals and is afraid of them so shes probably not a dog person10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?she doesnt have anything against kids, but shes not very good with them, shes never been one for baby talk or dumbing herself down. in one draft she takes care of some adolescents and lets cyri take over bc he loves kids lol11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?nahh12. What is their favourite food? uhhhhhhhhhhhhh13. What is their least favourite food?uhHHHHHH14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?man idk, its not like my characters arent well rounded realistic people but im not gonna know her favourite fucking colour bc it doesnt matter in the story lmao15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?i would say shes ok, she doesnt burn anything but shes not a gourmet chef [despite having lessons as a child]16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? ohh i used to have an answer for this but she probably doesnt now just bc shes pretty nomadic and usually only has the clothes on her back lmao17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?cameras dont exist in her world my dudee. but if she lived in modern day which ive thought of, shed be the type to take a bunch of pics of her friends and stuff she likes bc she likes having the memory in a solid form, her actual memory is shit lol18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything elsehmm i suppose shed be a horror fan, and shed love making fun of stupid characters19. What’s their least favourite genres?man idk. romance? shes kinda #2edgy4me20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?hmm i think shes more a soft music fan, just something idly playing in the background. ex. a bard playing something for the crowd while she kicks back w friends21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?she has a short temper. shes easily triggered with any emotion so shes quick to argue or whatever22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?id like to think shes witty, and she always says stuff to peoples faces bc a bitch has rabies and wants to fight apparently23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?bad memory, shes gone through physical torture and isolation [wew] so. shes better at names, growing up with royals she got to learn a bunch of family names etc24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?a light sleeper. crazy light. and she can sleep anywhere, so she has no problems sleeping on the ground unlike others25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?she pretends to be stoic but when u get to know her her humour’s pretty lame, shell laugh at anything if just to make u feel better26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? she tends to hide them under an indifferent mask27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?despite being able to hide her emotions, she does succumb to fear a lot and cries openly, but will continue to do whatever shes doing through tears so shes scary in that regard28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?abandonment is a huge one. shes not a fan of predatory animals. shes brave though, and will do whatevers necessary, kinda like unwilling exposure therapy lol29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? she doesnt like exploiting people so shell never use someones fear against them. for friends, shell protect them and warn them if something like that is gonna happen30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?lmao she walks or goes horse riding everywhere and is severely malnourished31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?i just wrote a scene like this!! shes louder in general, laughs more. her guard comes down more and more with every drink. she can hold her liquor pretty well but when shes blacked out shes pretty much useless32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?she prefers comfort and mobility over everything else. she tends to dress pretty masculine, and never does anything with her hair. does she know what a brush is?33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?...................ask her lol idk. probably just basic comfy ones34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?she is 5′9. when shes healthy, she has a willowy figure but more on the boxy side than curvy. she doesnt really attribute much to her body [imagine living life without dysmorphia mfg]35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? i dont she counts anything as a ‘guilty’ pleasure. she just enjoys what she enjoys, fuck whatever people think36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?she loves fishing! she used to do it a lot with her dad. i dont think shes a particularly good singer37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?yeah she likes reading. she reads pretty fast and prefers nonfiction. she thinks poetry can get too pretentious lmao38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?#deep but i think she admires kindness and care in others. she wishes she was a better person at times and wants to be able to express how much people meant to her39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? lmao letters are the only thing in her world. if she lived w us shed probably be all about texting 600 in a row and then calling when u dont reply “what do u mean you cant answer. its called INSTANT messaging for a reason!!”40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?she stays awake through sheer willpower shes a beast41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?shes bi/pan. not really a thing about labels in her world. she loves long hair and soft personalities42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?plot spoilers!!43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?shes not religious. there is a heavy theme of religion in the novel [which i need to write better in the second draft] but she was kinda skeptical as a child and probably lost faith entirely after she went through some harrowing stuff 44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? winter. she prefers the cold and hates heat45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? i think people see her as scarier than she is. shes a formidable opponent and does not give a fuck what you say, but her reputation precedes her a little bit, a lot of things she did out of fear or force are seen as ‘badass’ and ‘brave’46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?shes a compulsive liar, and a good one at that. so she tends to show herself differently to almost everyone she meets, but usually its a false potrayal47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?ugh she haaaaaates formal stuff and parties. she grew up royal and had to suffer through many a dinner and gathering. at this point in her life youd never get her in a dress that impeded her movement. shes ok with dresses but really big poofy ones she refuses to wear48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? in our world shed be one for a chill house party. show up with a case of beer, sit outside by the barbie, listen to music and talk shit. shes not good at organising so she doesnt tend to host, and if she were dragged by a friend itd probably be to a formal event or with people she didnt know so shed just sulk in the corner49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?she abandoned her material possessions before the story a. bc she was forced and b. they bring back way too many painful memories50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials? food, change of clothes, weapons. thats about it. she tries not to be super nasty and find an inn to shower and stuff but shes also poor af
#writing#this was really helpful actually!!!!#i realise how much of my flaws and traumas i project onto her#love a self-insert/emotional support character#cloudybookash
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You: no one asked for another one of these
Me: yeah i know sorry i just have a lot of emotions and shit lately
(Haha thats a lie all i feel lately is annoyed and pain)
Anyway yes I’m going to complain more about life cause i have some emotions i need to get out and shit. Okay I’m very much a night owl, I have been my whole life, I work better t night and just love the night sky and shit. However 8th grade I was really, super, hella depressed cause of family stuff and school and being totally alone and you know the depression (thanks genes!), so I’d be absolutely TERRIFIED to be left alone with my thoughts. I’d stay up all night on youtube or some cringey website or on tumblr just so I didn’t have to lay in bed and think. Also very closeted, very depressed baby Alex had no idea wtf a healthy coping mechanism was, so I cut and it was bad like an every night thing cause after I did I was suddenly really tired and could almost sleep instantly once it hit like 2-3 am. Anyway I fucked my sleeping schedule up at a very young age, so that habit never left and the earliest I go to bed anymore is 12-12:30, whatever im used to it, not good for me but whatever. Then summer started and I didn’t sleep till like 1am-2am so I chalked it up to “it’s summer whatever”, but then it was 2 am-3am and I thought that was a one time thing, but nope. Now (as in the past week/week and a half ish) I’m lucky to get 2-3 hours of sleep and even then I’m up at like 9 am. As you can imagine this has lead to a good amount of problems, but first one additional thing. Now it’s just me and my mom at our house, but because of hour cuts and paying for school and catching up on bills and other shit we don’t really have a ton of money which means we don’t have a ton of food which means what we have we have to make last. With that being said back track to me getting 2-3 hours of sleep, now my body’s tired and I’m exhausted I just wont go to fucking sleep, but I’m hungry as hell. We didn’t have cereal and milk for awhile, so that left me with pasta like I said I’m exhausted so pasta involves cooking, but I couldn’t do it. I knew I’d be too tired half way through the water boiling to finish let alone eat anything. Also cause we don’t have a ton of money I’d get 2 free meals a day in school so I wouldn’t go a whole day (or week) without eating real food (i mean it was gross government food but it got the job done), but in summer I didn’t get that so I just havent eaten really all summer like i could probably count on my hands how many actual meals ive eaten all summer. So the not eating mixed with the not sleepings fucking awful as you can imagine.I had a headache so bad I had to close my curtains put on sunglasses cover my head with a blanket and put my ice on my head in an attempt to help ease the pain, but WAIT THERES MORE. Every bone in my body constantly feels like it needs to crack and im just constantly really achey (idk if that has to do anything but it hurts like hell) Ive tried stretching and resting but it doesnt help, BUT THERES EVEN MORE!! The not eating!! I can feel my stomach being totally empty besides some water and that shit fucking hurts (idk how baby Alex did that shit) AND A FINAL THING your boy was born with god awful child bearing parts and guess what came up?! That’s right devil week so i feel like someones just stabbing me with a pitchfork while also trying to eject food thats not there. Therefore the past few nights Ive basically been clutching my stomach and head, the heating pad isnt helping, and pain killers arent helping much.
At this point youre probably like “dude just some nyquil” which yeah youre right i should but we didnt have extra money this week to buy any and we dont have any so thats why i didnt do that. Also like I said before I /am/ tired, im really fucking tired and i dont really have thoughts its more like fast and loud static and like energy i have to get out or i get uncomfortable, so the past few nights (last night was really bad) Im up clutching and rocking and snapping and tapping my feet just trying to get rid of that energy. It comes a little bit in the day i was talking to a friend and typing so fucking fast while also thinking about some oc idea and then BAM no energy at fucking all like i had to lay down. This also leads into ive been trying to read out loud to myself so i can try to get my voice lower cause my voice bothers the hell out of me, but i cant focus for longer than like 5 minutes cause of loud static and extra energy and being tired and my eyes being tired so its really frustrating.
The thing is i go to a psychiatrist for my meds and what she told me (idk if this is true everywhere or just how she is) that i had like textbook bipolar but becaue at the time i was ike 14/15 they didnt want to diagnose it cause i was still young. Bipolar runs in my family, just like depression and anxiety, so i wasnt super suprised by that and as i got older i got less scared (theres nothing scary about people with bipolar btw i just didnt know what to expect or think cause of how i saw it in like movies and stuff) i thought maybe i wasnt and i just had highs and lows like everyone else, but looking back i can see that the highs and lows were really extreme and like i said before i was super suicidal last year and just kinda gave up and earlier this summer it took a lot of energy to do anything, but this isnt like doing reckless things kinda high like it normally is and it fucking suck ass guys. On top of that my ever so supporting lately mother was like “look up manic episodes” so i told her i know what it is but she just pushed to look it up so i did and of course i made a joke about increased sexual activity (which my virgin is not) and looked like yes i know. (side note dw too much im going to the doctors tomorrow and im gonna see what i can do about my meds and stuff).
So yeah sorry for another shitty life update (not including tons of dysphoria, isolation, and more self hate but whatevs)
#personal#tw suicide mention#tw self harm#i also mention not eating but it wasnt/isnt like an ed#i dont think so anyway#its mostly me talking about my mental health and being in pain almost always#sorry for another one of these#honestly i might start posting one once a week to get some shit out
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