#he died of an overdose when i was in high school. i didn't feel much of anything at the time. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

iloveaustinelvisandmannymore · 10 months

Note

Ok so I was thinking how about a request where Austin’s ex is obsessed and jealous of you and keeps talking and putting stories out about you and you are upset and Austin puts a stop to it. Maybe he calls her out or something it can be up to you.🩷

(Side note to maybe help)

I had this “friend” who did that to me in high school. She would always make fun of my mom because she was a stripper before I was born and she died from an overdose when I was 10 so she would always make fun of me for it. I feel like that would make a good story.

Thank you so much for requesting! I hope you like it!

Jealousy isn't a good look.

Pairing: Austin Butler x reader

Warnings: Kaia being a bitch, Fluff, Comforting, Crying, Austin being the amazing boyfriend we all know he is, Name calling, Drug addiction.

Summary: Kaia, your new boyfriend's ex seems to hate you, and you couldn't get away from her, no matter what she does. Austin didn't know this but once he finds out, hell breaks lose. (this is short)

Kaia hated you, she was happy to make it known to you. Nobody knew because she acted like the perfect angel around others but when you were alone she didn't hold back. Saying awful things, how you were born from a slut, and how right your father was to leave such a disappointing being for daughter and lover, that was the more "kinder" things she said to you. God how you just wish to, want to..no you would only be at her level and you refuse to be like her

You had woken up, not happy knowing you'd see Kaia because she was part of the same group of friends, you all wanted to go to a restaurant and hang out. You woke up at least good, Austin laid kisses on your face to wake you before kissing you on the lips, and you both got ready like you were dancing around each other. With a slap to your butt, you loaded into the car, Austin driving, and set off to the hangout spot, hands intertwined and light-hearted jokes filled the vehicle.

You got there too fast for your tastes, you let out a quiet sigh and got out, Kaia was gonna find a way to do something she always do.

Hand in hand, you went into the restaurant, the friend group already was in a combined booth and table, waiting for you. Immediately a feeling of dread dawned on you, she was laughing at a joke someone and said before looking your way with a smile that seemed sweet but you knew the truth. You both sat down and ordered, the group continued to make jokes, and you laughed at a certain joke, Austin's arm wrapped around yourself lazily, and Kaia laughed with you, no she was mocking your laugh "Hey guys?" Kaia said, grabbing your friend's attention "I need to talk to (N/n), you know girl things." Kaia said sweetly, ushering everyone out there seats for you two "Thanks!" Kais smiled at them and grabbed your wrist with a pain-inducing grip before dragging you out and into the lady's restroom. Once in the public restroom, she shoved you almost making you trip "I'm sick of you." She snarled, "The feels mutual." you rebuttal, sneering at her "Look Austin's mine, he's been mine and always will be so do yourself a favor and break up with him." She said, turning away from you and fixing her hair in the mirror "Besides you're a nobody, why would he want you when he can have a model? Me." "Fat chance! You spoiled wanna-be Disney princess. He loves me and I love him, if you can't stand that then stop hanging out with us." you growled walking towards the door "If you don't. I'll make you regret it." the threat lingered in the air, and you stopped as you pushed open the door slightly "I'd like to see you try." you glared at her one more time before storming away from the restroom and out the dinner. "Baby?!" Austin called out and hastily followed you, watching you in concern as you slam the car door shut and crossed your arms looking anywhere but at him, Austin sighed and got into the car "Wanna go home?" he ask gently "Please.." you muttered, looking out the window.

You felt bad for just leaving like that, for not telling Austin, for pushing him away. What she said stuck with you..you were just a normal person, a fan and she was famous, a celebrity they had common ground, an understanding, and sometimes you felt like maybe it was hard, not completely understanding the stress he had to go through and feeling like a failure to him.

Austin couldn't take it. Ever seen you went home from that restaurant, you have been cold to him, never really looking him in his eyes and refusing his attention, it was getting on his nerves. It was another hangout when Austin realized what was up, it was you, Austin, Kaia, and a dude named Scott, you had just arrived and sat down she began to make slightly passive-aggressive comments it reached a boiling point when she decided to say something she shouldn't have.

"How's your mother? Finally found a man who doesn't think she's pathetic?" Kaia asked innocently silencing the table "Kaia what the fuck?!" Austin exclaimed angrily "Why would you say that?!" he glared at her and the realization of what she said comes crashing down on her, fearful tears grow in the corner of her eyes "I d-didn't mean to" She started shakily "Bullshit!" Austin growled "What's wrong with you? Do you think that's okay to say to someone? Are you that childish?" "I'm sorry!" Austin shakes his head, grabbed your hand, left the cafe, and into the car "She's been bullying you. Why didn't you tell me?"Austin frowned a hurt expression on his face "I didn't want to be a bother." you replied looking to the car floorboard, Austin sighed and took your hand "You'll never be a bother. I love you." he confessed "I love you too." you smiled a small smile and looked at him with love.

"Nobody will treat you like that again. I'll make sure of it."

#austin butler x reader #austin x reader #austin butler imagine #austin butler #austin butler x you #austin butler smut

154 notes · View notes

toxic-ship-tournament · 1 year

Text

ROUND 1 / SIDE B / POLL 5

13. Theodore Antonov x Cito Putnum ( @pixelpancake246 / @pixelsdoodles ) vs CEO x Arowana ( @owo-whats-bliss )

who makes up your ship?:

Theodore Antonov and Cito Putnum (OCs from my original story Coastal City Dudes)

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

Theo and Cito have been best friends for YEARS. Met when they were around 10/11, and have been by eachother's side since. Theo was raised in a cult, and the rest of his life wasn't much better. They certainly have. A Dynamic. So, they're best friends, as previously mentioned. Completely inseparable, both being in love with the other, leading to very unfortunate circumstances. Cito is very self-sacrificial in his love for Theo, often disregarding his own happiness and well-being to make sure Theo's happy. Theo on the other hand, is so deprived of love and affection that he clings onto and takes advantage of Cito's undying devotion to him. Both are aware of this on some level, but refuse to see it. Denying that there's anything wrong in the first place. There's a lot of little things with them. Cito is a recovering addict, having struggled with abusing alcohol and various other substances since high school. Despite this, Theo regularly does drugs around him and when he was still taking his medications, he wouldn't secure them, leading to Cito overdosing one afternoon. When drunk or high on drugs, Cito has a hard time controlling himself, which tends to manifest in reckless behavior and a hard time keeping his anger in check. Anger issues are something he's dealt with for forever but have repressed well for Theo's sake, rarely letting himself feel or show anything besides positive emotions around anyone. When he's not sober, Cito can get violent, usually towards Theo because of his deeply bottled up frustrations and pain with him. In high school, they were on complete ends of the social hierarchy. Cito was the star of their schools football team, he was insanely popular and liked by all, whereas Theo was a quiet, depressed, loser with no real friends besides Cito. He was constantly bullied, Severely. Often, Cito would stand in the way of this, standing up for Thei since they're best friends and people listen to him. But, he's worried and scared that if he lets up too much, he'll be next, so sometimes, occasionally enough, he lets them beat Theo up, sometimes right in front of him. In their 20's, Theo was dating and eventually engaged to a woman named Rita Barreau, which you can imagine broke Cito's heart because he's been madly in love with Theo for forever. A few months before their planned wedding date, Theo and Rita got into a brutal car accident where Rita died on impact and Theo barely survived, clinging on to what little of a life he had. Ironic really, that this guy who has been incredibly suicidal his whole life gets to live when his girlfriend who tended to act out of self-interest and preservation, dies. The accident didn't just end Rita's life, but changed Cito and Theo's irreparably. Theo became paranoid, secluded and lost in grief, while Cito did what he does best and bottled up his own grief. This is most explicitly shown through thow visibly and undeniably Theo's grief and depression (both extrapolated by the incident but also from before) has affected him, being decorated head to toe in gruesome scars of both an accidental and self-mutilating nature. The accident gave both of them PTSD, but it took almost two decades for Cito to be diagnosed because he had denied it over and over thinking he shouldn't have been that effected by it and that Theo had it much worse. I could go on and on, but I feel like this is already WAY long enough. I hope this gave a good idea on why I think they're perfect for this tournament!

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

I don't actually tag anything with their ship on Tumblr I believe, just both their names in whatever I post of them in the tags, but I do have a yt playlist! https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjVZH50W2oJUVy-P6jXJobjPidG3MM0uW (PS unsure how to send multiple files through Google docs?? but I assure there's way more theocito art than the one piece I submitted)

****

Art by @eggldritchfish

who makes up your ship?:

CEO (human) and Arowana (the weird fish thing)

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

They do extremely unethical experiments on people together under the guise of saving them, but Arowana is just using them to eat the people while telling CEO that that was a last resort. CEO is hopelessly devoted to them, both romantically and religiously, and uses everything he has financially and emotionally to support whatever they do (even to him). Arowana is initially only using him, but falls in love and becomes unhealthily obsessed, threatening to harm those who look at him. CEO is a human, Arowana is a god, keeping him alive no matter what happens to him. (Also, Arowana does have a human form, they're just not in it 80% of the time.)

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

None of those, but I think about them to the songs "Hakidasu" by Mao Sasagawa and "god, please () me, a monster"

#pixelpancake246 #owo-whats-bliss #theodore antonov x cito putnam #ceo x arowana #toxic ship tournament

43 notes · View notes

littlequeenies · 1 year

Text

Patricia Julia Brose was born on May 10, 1949, in New York City, the daughter of Laura and Bill Ballinger, a writer of mystery stories.

At age 12, Brose was placed in a foster home because of her mother’s barbiturate addiction.

She went to San Marcos Senior High high school in Santa Barbara, and Pepperdine University college in LA.

Julia began snorting cocaine at 18 while she was dancing at the famous Whiskey a Go Go in Los Angeles. It was there she met John Densmore of The Doors, in 1967. He recalls: "This girl had LRP: Long Range Potential. Her name was Julia Brose, and her father … was remarried to a bubbly blonde who supposedy looked like Julia's real mother. Apparently the real mother drank quite a bit… Julia and I consummated our brand-new relationship that night. There were no male blue balls in the sixties!"

In 1968 she was working in the A & R department of Liberty Records.

By 1969 Julia got pregnant and John didn't know what to do, he recalls: "…on the way back to LA, Julia hit me with the news she was pregnant! Everything was great with us, and now she was pregnant! I didn't want to be a husband yet, let alone a father! I could tell by the look in Julia's eyes that she was hoping I'd say "Let's have it". I couldn't believe it – I was numb. I had asked now and then if Julia was using any kind of birth control, but in 1969, the assumption was that it was the girl's responsability, and we had little dialogue on the subject. Now we had a major problem. I was loaded with so much shame about sex, being raised a Catholic, I didn't inquire how it happened. Was it an accident? I didn't know. But I knew I was incensed. I didn't want a kid and I could tell she did." They didn't know what to do, and in the end John Densmore found a doctor and Julia agreed. They went to Mexico where abortions could be done and it was a place where The Doors could play as well. The doctor and the nurse of the hospital were very nice, and they came in the room where abortions were practised. "There was one of those tables with the stirrups at the end to hold up the patient's legs. Julia must have noticed them, 'cause she started crying. Before we came to Mexico she'd agreed it was the best thing to do. Her tears were like daggers in my heart".

Some months later, John asked Julia to marry, and she agreed. In October 1970 they exchanged rings in hte Pacific Palidases. Robby and Lynn Krieger where the best man and bridesmaid. Jim Morrison sang “Bridal Chorus" at their wedding, but the marriage was short lived.

Her mother died of an overdose in 1972 aged 47.

After five years of marriage Julia left Densmore for Berry Oakley, the bassist for the Allman Brothers band. When she was six months pregnant, he died in a motorcycle accident on November 1972. On March 30, 1973, their son Berry Duane Oakley was born. His godfather is The Doors guitarist Robby Krieger.

As a single mother in ther 20s, she turned to heroin to cope with the loss of both her mother and Berry.

In 1976 she married Chuck Negron, the singer for Three Dog Night. They both developed major heroin addictions.

By 1977, the year Julia Brose and Chuck Negron had their son Charles, Negron devoted his life to being a junkie. She herself snorted heroin in the delivery room before Charle's birth, according to Mother Jones magazine, they both did it. To pay for his habits, Chuck eventually sold everything he owned, including all of his gold albums. "Bit by bit, everything eroded," says Julia. "We took loans against the house, and eventually our telephone and power lines were turned off."

He blew through millions of dollars chasing the highs and she may have been worse. "When Chuck is asked if he ever knew anyone worse than him, he usually says me," admits Julia, a recovering drug addict. "But we had a great marriage because every drug we got was split 50-50." They were married 12 years.

She overdosed twice in her life, waking up in a hospital bed feeling like she’d been run over by a fleet of trucks. She lived.

Julia lost her sister Connie to an overdose in 1984, which prompted her to sober up and leave her husband in 1985, and she checked herself at Cedars hospital. Then she went to school and worked as a drug counselor for decades.

Julia is certified as an Addiction Specialist since 1990, supervising and training residential addiction treatment staff.

By the mid-2000s, she had become a prominent advocate of “harm reduction,” which emphasizes making illicit drug use safer so users may seek treatment.

On 2013 her youngest son was in life support because of an overdose, but luckily he went in recovery. As for 2013, she was a co-founder of “Moms United to end the War on Drugs” and a Board Member of “A New PATH (Parents for Addiction Treatment and Healing”) and lived in Sarasota, FL.

On 2015 she moved to Venice, Los Angeles, where she is devoted to her advocacy work in what’s known as “harm reduction.’’

On July 2017, her son’s fiancé overdosed, leaving an 8-year-old without a mother.

In 2017 she made headlines when she took issue with U.S. Sen. Marco Rubio at a town hall meeting in Manatee County on the opioid epidemic. She is an advocate for making illegal drug use safe in hopes that users will seek treatment. She runs the “Suncoast Harm Reduction Project,” which is a small group of volunteers who pass out Naloxone to addicts to counterattack opioid overdoses. Manatee County has the highest overdose rate in Florida. In 2014, according to Mother Jones magazine, there were 644 community programs in the nation that distributed free Naloxone and Florida had only one person doing it: Brose.

Julia finds herself driving to Manatee County too much as part of her group and says it is “ground zero’’ for drug overdoses, even worse than Los Angeles, where she used to live.

9 notes · View notes

catchingbigfish · 1 year

Note

🤔

🤔 - What's the inspiration behind my WIP

ohhhh thank you for asking! i kept promising to eventually make this post for So It Goes but never got around to it because i felt like it was verging on trauma dumping to do an unsolicited breakdown of this. i'm going to go into the sad stuff at the end, but it's under a cut! @indecentpause, @thelittlestspider, and @brazenlip also sent this emoji so tagging for ref!

so, first off, i read Slaughterhouse-five by Kurt Vonnegut in middle school. one of the perks of growing up in Indiana is that you're really hammered away at about how important Vonnegut is (he was an Indianapolis native) and there's even a super cool museum about him. i was blown away and absolutely loved it. it was required reading later in high school and i loved it then too but yeah, it was a huge impact on me. the reason this is relevant is because throughout the novel, whenever someone or something dies, he writes, "So it goes." just like that. and the first time i read it and came to the scene where (iirc) someone throws a paper ball and it misses the trash can, and he says, "So it goes", i burst out laughing.

this also factors into the Sad Girl Shit you'll read in a second if you're curious, but i might be the world's biggest mac miller fan. not really, but i actually was in his like top .5% of listeners in 2020 on spotify, so close. his song So It Goes factors into the sad shit, but i just love the song.

okay so i'm going to write the rest of this under the cut and specify a content warning for potentially upsetting topics related to deaths of relatives and friends!! just a heads up for anyone who's sensitive to that. i'm totally comfortable talking about this and i don't need anyone to tell me how sorry they are for me -- it's just a matter of fact now and i'm totally used to talking about it, but i feel bad when i share it with people and they get sad because of me. you don't need to!! i'm fine!! don't be sad on my account!!

alright so historically speaking i've dealt with like… a lot of death. most of it was clustered in my teens and early 20s, but without getting too far into the weeds i'll say i probably lost around 20 relatives and friends before i turned 22, and i lost my dad when i was 21. only a handful were due to illness/expected, the vast majority were accidents, overdoses, and violence related.

what really sparked SIG, though, is when a few years ago i was walking home from the bus stop after work and heard the mac miller song, then learned about a death.

before i move on, let me tell you about a friend of my sister's. i'm going to call him Isaiah, because that's why Isaiah-the-character exists -- this friend.

Isaiah was an absolute joy. sometime earlier in the year, i ran into him at his job, and it just filled me up with the warmest happiness to see him. you know those people whose existence just makes you feel a little better about the world? yeah. anyway, he was working at a starbucks and took my order and when i reached the window he gave me the goofiest smile and asked if i was who he thought, and i said yes, and he told me i should let him know it's me next time and he'll give me the family discount. it was sweet. i went home and texted my sister about it and made a joke about how i never want to find out if he did something wrong (we'd learned some dark shit about people in our lives recently) because i didn't want my memory of him tarnished.

so that day in 2019, probably close to a year after he served me coffee, i was walking home and heard the song coming from a car and felt a little uneasy (it's a sad song, considering mac miller's untimely death) and i got home and my sister called me, and yeah. Isaiah had died. he was shot, they still don't know why or by who, but despite how much death i've dealt with in my life that hit me fucking hard. it was right around the 5th anniversary of my dad's death and somehow, Isaiah's passing hit me harder than my dad's that year -- a testament to how much time had passed since my dad's death, but also a testament to how cruel i felt it was that Isaiah was gone. i told my therapist i felt like the world was a little sharper after that, like things were just slightly meaner. let me be super clear and say i wasn't Isaiah's best friend by any means; he was a close friend of my older sister, and i was often assigned to keep her out of trouble, so i was around him but not that close to him. but something about him just made the world feel a little lighter.

so, yeah! that's what happened. i came up with the idea for SIG in 2020, and it percolated over the years, and finally in nov 2022 i started writing SIG to purge all of the deaths i'd experienced and i knew from the start Isaiah's would be front and center. in the first draft, the final scene of SIG is an almost beat-by-beat remake of what happened in real life, up until marisa sees death sitting on her couch but embraces sophia instead. i needed to believe in that -- that even despite Isaiah's death, the world was still kind, and love still existed. it definitely does, by the way! like i said, i'm fine these days -- his was actually the last death i've experienced -- and i really don't need anyone to feel sad for me!

#ask game #ty for the ask and i'm sorry for the dump of super sad shit lmaoooo #wip: so it goes

3 notes · View notes

kirintranslations · 2 years

Text

Runaway Lover Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Encounter

Xu Mo's career is not good. He is the underground lover of the financial president of H City, or because he looks like the white moonlight in the president's heart, he came to be a stand-in.

As a lover, Xu Mo is probably unqualified. He doesn't know how to please Qin Yiming, the gold master. However, he heard from the maid in the villa that Qin Yiming had already changed many lovers, but he was the only one who stayed the longest.

Well! Probably because his face looks like the white moonlight in Qin Yiming's heart. Once, President Qin went out for a party and came back drunk. He kept grabbing a photo and crying, and hugged Xu Mo and called him (XM) by another man's name.

Xu Mo secretly glanced at the person on the photo. It was an elegant young man wearing glasses with a slight smile on the corner of his mouth. Which is not like a person like himself (XM) who has never read any books.

Speaking of which, Xu Mo is still a little sad. He used to have a happy family. Unfortunately, when he was a freshman in high school, his father became addicted to drugs, lost all the money in the family, and finally died of a drug overdose. Xu Mo's mother couldn't stand it, so she remarried and went to another city with her new husband.

Xu Mo was left as a pitiful person. The key point was that his father still owed a lot of money to others. The IOUs were placed in front of Xu Mo, which made him feel dizzy.

Asking the neighbors to buy the house to pay off the debt, Xu Mo dropped out of school and went to work in the economically developed city H with his meager luggage.

Xu Mo, who had just arrived in H City, was a little overwhelmed. He was only 17 years old at the time, and many places were unwilling to hire him. Ahl-Shui, the old grandfather amd owner of a dumpling shop, just wanted to hire an apprentice, so he reluctantly accepted Xu Mo.

Ah-Shui is getting old, he has no children, and he is a little powerless to work on the dumpling shop by himself. He was satisfied that he had recruited Xu Mo, an apprentice, to work there. Although he didn't say anything, he actually liked Xu Mo very much in his heart. When he met everyone, he praised Xu Mo for being honest and diligent, which made Xu Mo feel a little embarrassed.

Later, Xu Mo worked in the dumpling shop for a few years. After Ah-Shui died, he left the shop to Xu Mo. Apart from making dumplings, Xu Mo, who didn't know what else he could do, kept running the "Ah-Shui Dumpling Shop".

When he met Qin Yiming, it happened to be Xu Mo's 21st birthday. He originally wanted to close the store earlier and planned to go home to the cake shop next to him to buy himself a small cake to celebrate his birthday. In the end, he met Qin Yiming, a guest. The other party's facial features were very handsome, tall and tall. He was wearing a silver suit and looked like a business elite.

Xu Mo didn't know that the guest at that time was Qin Yiming, the financial president of H City.

As he usually entertained guests, he stepped forward and asked, "May I ask what kind of dumplings do you want? Do you want to take them away or eat them in the store?"

"Wen...qing...don't leave me..." Qin Yiming was a little drunk. He looked at the person in front of him and mistook him for his own white moonlight.

After listening to Qin Yiming's words, he (XM) smelled a strong smell of alcohol again when he (XM) approached the other party. Xu Mo smiled helplessly. It turned out that the guest was drunk and regarded him as someone else.

"Where is your home? Should I call your family to come and pick you up?" Seeing that the other party was good looking, Xu Mo politely asked Qin Yiming what to do.

"Don't go back...don't try to leave me..." Qin Yiming was afraid that Wen Qing in front of him would disappear, so he stepped forward and hugged him tightly to death and was unwilling to let go.

Xu Mo was a little stunned for a while, but he was actually hugged by a big man. Forget it, maybe this guest fell out of love... Later, Xu Mo had to take Qin Yiming to his house and let Qin Yiming stay overnight.

The rental house is not big, Xu Mo's house only has one bed, and the two of them slept together at night.

The next morning, Qin Yiming woke up first. The consequence of a hangover was a headache. He rubbed his temples and looked around before realizing that this was not his home. He vaguely remembered what happened last night. He seemed to have entered a dumpling shop, and then pestered the owner of the shop... Damn, how could this be?

Qin Yiming looked at the unfamiliar young man next to him who had not woken up yet. The other party looked very young and his skin was white, like someone who had not been in the sun for many years. The most important thing is that he looks like Wen Qing when he was high school, especially his profile...

After a while, Xu Mo woke up. He first picked up the alarm clock next to him to see that it was exactly seven in the morning. After some time, he had to prepare the ingredients and go to the dumpling shop to open for business.

He immediately got up and changed his clothes. He turned to the guest on the bed and said, "Hello! My name is Xu Mo, and I'm the owner of Ah-Shui Dumpling Shop."

"Thank you for taking care of me last night. This is my business card. "Qin Yiming took out a business card from his pocket and handed it to Xu Mo.

Looking at the name and position on the business card, Xu Mo was a little surprised, no matter how much he didn't care about the outside world, he still read the newspapers often, and often saw Qin Yiming's name in the newspapers...

"Mr. Qin, if you are in a hurry, go ahead! Go get busy! I'm going out later." Xu Mo put away the business card, indicating that he had something to do later.

"Xu Mo, can you cook me a bowl of dumplings? I'll pay." Qin Yiming got dressed and came over to ask the other party.

There is money to be made, so Xu Mo is naturally happy. He replied ok, then went out and took out the dumplings that had been prepared in the refrigerator and put them into the pot to cook.

Sitting on the sofa in the living room, Qin Yiming glanced at Xu Mo in the kitchen intentionally or unintentionally. The appearance and personality of the young man seemed to suit his taste. There are no women's items in the narrow house, it seems that there should be no girlfriend, which means that Xu Mo is single, so he can pursue the other party unscrupulously.

(T/N: THIS FCKING—!!!)

After some time, seeing that the dumplings were cooked, Xu Mo picked up the spoon and fished out the dumplings.

"The dumplings are ready." He brought the dumplings to Qin Yiming.

Qin Yiming nodded, picked up his chopsticks and took a bite of a dumpling. It tasted pretty good.

"How does it taste? Is it delicious?" Xu Mo looked at the other eagerly. These are the dumplings he made yesterday, with mushrooms and pork stuffing in them. This is a recipe he has never tested before. He plans to make new dumplings in the future and add this flavored dumpling to the store's menu.

Qin Yiming looked at the other party's appearance and couldn't help but praise, "It's delicious!"

When Qin Yiming left, he put two hundred yuan on the table in the living room. Xu Mo packed up the bowl and came over to see the money on the table. He rushed out and stopped Qin Yiming, "Mr. Qin, you have given too much money, and dumplings only cost seven yuan a bowl."

"It's okay, I like your house very much. I slept at your house last night, so you can treat it as the accommodation fee." Qin Yiming waved his hand and left.

For this matter, Qin Yiming left a generous influence on Xu Mo. He thought they would never see each other again.

Unexpectedly, after a few days, Qin Yiming would come to his shop regularly to ask for a bowl of dumplings, and he also expressed his willingness to spend money to go to Xu Mo's house to learn how to make dumplings. Xu Mo didn't understand the mind of a rich man, so President Qin was free to be President Qin.

_______________________________________________________________________

Sooooo, I managed to make a mini-website to put this on, I’m still figuring it out though.....

https://anyasiegfried.wixsite.com/kirin_translations

3 notes · View notes

keyhearts · 1 month

Text

Today I really want to write about Neo. For a long time, he was nameless. It was really easy for some to go without names, it wasn't often they go used anyway, in daydreams. His name was more of an afterthought really. I'm not sure if he really exists now.

At the beginning of the story, he was really detached from the world around him. He always had a PSP with him and was playing with it. I'm not sure why it was a PSP in particular to be honest. In real life, if I recall, we didn't really play on the PSP. But that was how he escaped from his circumstances, and how he avoided everything.

He was always kind of casual and easygoing, but underneath that was also quite nervous. He was afraid of conflict and avoided it. I recall a story where he had friends who were kind of assholes, but he didn't want to confront them, so he put up with it. He didn't want to lose them as his gaming buddies.

He was also aromantic. I wonder if that represented anything. Maybe a fear of being vulnerable? I can't recall much about how it was explored, so I'm not really sure. I recall he participated in sexual activities regularly.

When we were in high school, or after high school, and we visited where Jay lived, Neo struggled a lot with not being able to speak english. Not a real experience, in real life we've only ever been able to speak the one language. But as a result, Neo felt isolated in social situations. I guess that represented real feelings too. But then, that was how Andrew and Neo became closer, they taught each other their languages. And that was how it became the three of us, me, Andrew and Neo, as a relationship.

After that, Neo grew up to have some sort of computer job as an adult. I think he was a hacker, but then somehow he got employed in a legitimate job, maybe his skills were recognized.

There's this one part of the whole story that really bothers me. The beginning. At the beginning, in childhood. Neo, Jay and I grew up together. We lived in a town that was isolated from the rest of the world. The whole town was some sort of Christian cult, but it never went into much detail about that. I never really understood why this was part of the story. I can never figure out what it was supposed to represent. We were never part of a cult or anything, and we never lived in an isolated town like that. Then there was a whole thing that Jay's mother died by a drug overdose, and he and his younger brother escaped and lived with his Dad and Jay's twin brother, who lived in another country. And we eventually just followed him? It wasn't very realistic. It was a teenage brain.

Then there was my backstory, about being born as a child of a mafia boss, and I was abused, and my mother died, who was the only one I lived with, and I escaped and lived in another country.

Then there was Jay's cousin, who was blind and coddled, and he hated being coddled, and eventually ran away and started living a really risky, promiscuous life for a while. And he also wanted to be a professional dancer and eventually went to study that. And then he became close friends with a deaf boy.

Then there's Abel and Andrew, Abel was a horrible brother to Andrew, and made him passive and emotionless externally. He trained Andrew not to react and to keep his emotions hidden, because he thought it would protect him for some reason? And then Abel was also protecting Andrew by being the 'golden child' and fulfilling their parents' expectations, so that Andrew would have the freedom to live his life how he wanted to. And he took abuse on Andrew's behalf. And so he had very high expectations of Andrew and how he lived his life, and was controlling.

There's a lot of stuff that's just really dramatic or that I can't find the meaning of. There's a lot that happened, and despite the time that's passed, I haven't made sense of it all.

Zach says I don't have to make sense of it. But it feels important to understanding ourselves. I feel not very good right now. Really dissociated after writing all that.

#artie's archives

1 note · View note

justine-the-guillotine · 6 months

Text

About a month ago, I found out two different, formerly-very-close-but-since-estranged, people to me passed away recently.

I found out one because I randomly decided to check my FB message requests and saw a request pending from her husband who actually reached out to me almost immediately after it happened: "I know you two didn't talk anymore, but I thought you should know--"

She died because of her health conditions and ailments and not wanting to fight anymore.

We were no longer talking because despite having a very intense best friendship over ten years ago, we had a huge falling out that felt like betrayal and she hurt me so much I decided to never forgive her. We connected only twice afterwards.

The other one I found out about because I just had a sinking feeling and I went searching for it. And I found what I was searching for. He died, ironically, coincidentally, sadly, in-a-way-that-had-nothing-to-do-with-me, on May 27, 2023. I was out of town and having one of the best nights of my life.

I can't find the exact cause of death for him (rather, I did not dig deep enough) but it was likely an overdose. The last I heard of him was he wanted to get clean and couldn't. He just couldn't. He missed his mom a lot.

We were no longer in touch because, even though he was the love of my life in our teenage years before we both realized he was gay gay, not bisexual, it can be difficult to stay in touch with people you love when drugs and a town you both were hurt so much are involved. After high school, we drove around town together when we were in college. I would meet his mom. A couple of years later, a mutual friend made it so he could surprise me at a birthday dinner. The next time I saw him was in a YouTube video when someone profiled him for his addiction.

Finding out about these deaths were ... Interesting, to use possibly the most basic word I could to describe something that is so much more than that. I had already mourned these two people leaving my life back when they were still alive. Do I mourn them again, knowing now it is permanent? Am I even allowed to mourn them again, knowing I didn't try harder to keep either one in my life?

I am different (matured, grown, weathered) nowadays in many ways but the same in some. I sometimes wish I would fight harder for people to stay, but nowadays I don't push people away if they come seeking me out again. How can I hold grudges when life is so fragile, so fleeting, so constantly changing. We are always different people. We are always the same people.

Both of these people had loved ones who mourned them after they passed. They didn't need me. They didn't miss me at their death beds. I likely wasn't a thought to either one. Or maybe that's something I would like to believe. I don't know what is more arrogant. These were once two very important people to me but who knows if it was reciprocated. If our time together was still thought about for either of them. Maybe it's just me who doesn't forget or doesn't really move on from people I love(d). I don't even know who else entered their lives after I was no longer in it. I don't know who else was able to stay for them. Who else was there for them. Who is actually allowed to mourn them.

I do know neither one have visited me in my dreams and I think that's where I should leave it. Both of them done with me even after they died. It's okay, it's their right. I'll continue to think about them anyway.

#tw: death #I'm a bloggin' girl ✨#just justine ✨#text post #i have been trying to write about this for a month so tell me why i woke up at 6:30 am and this just poured out of me

1 note · View note

chucksfavouriteprophet · 2 years

Text

High

The Winchesters x Reader (sister)

Request: Ok may I request a Winchester brothers x sister reader where the reader is depressed harms themselves and feels like she not good enough and is a drug addict like does weed and other drugs drinks to relieve her pain and her brothers found out /caught the reader being high or doing drugs and are not happy it and the reader just not having it and has doesn’t want help and can’t handle being sober since tends to withdrawal and rather not be lectured so she runs away and overdoses and her brothers find her but in the end her brothers help her in recovery it fluffy in the end (@supernerdycookietrashblr )

A/N: This is my first attempt at a request, so I'm really sorry if it wasn't what you were after! The request was kinda based off Euphoria, which I'm pretty obsessed with so I tried to use what we see of Rue's battle with addiction as well as my own experience. I'm sorry it's so long as well, I kinda got carried away!

Warnings: Man, why do I keep writing deep shit. Okay, so really graphic discussion of self harm and hard drug use, including overdosing. Lots of self-hatred and violence towards others too. Talk of seizures, vomit, blood etc. But don't worry it all ends in some nice Winchester brother fluff!!

Word count: 3,156

It had been a few months since you'd started living with your brothers again. If again was even the right word to use; you'd never really lived with them in the first place. While John had taken the boys round on hunts as kids, you'd been sent straight to boarding school across the country. Sam and Dean always said you were lucky, that you'd been saved a childhood of displacement and abnormality. To them, you'd been given a break - Sam especially got jealous a lot, often wondering why his little sister had been allowed to get an education when he hadn't. On the odd occasion you'd come back for the holidays, you'd be met with resentment from your brothers; Dean treated you like an innocent kid who had no clue what their life was like, and Sam pretended you weren't really there. So not really that different from boarding school, aka, the most lonely place in the world.

Maybe it would have been different if you had wanted to be there, if you'd been more academic and wanted to study like Sam did. If you felt like your Dad had shipped you off for your own good, it might have been okay. Except you knew he hadn't. Your Dad didn't care about you getting an education any more than he did the boys. He just couldn't stand the sight of you, thats why he sent you away. He couldn't cope with looking at his daughter every day, the daughter that looked the spitting image of her mother.

Even once you'd left school, you had no desire to go home. Hell, Sam left you a voice message to tell you your Dad had died, which you took as the perfect opportunity to go on a two week long bender. You figured they were back hunting together, that Sam had given up on school - they didn't need you around. Besides, you had your own gig going on, hustling around bars, spending nights with random guys in exchange for some crack. The thought of Dean knowing about your secret little drug habit made you laugh.

But now things had changed. Ever since that woman walked into the club, the woman who looked just like you. You thought you were tripping at first - there certainly were occasions where you'd hallucinated your mother, but this time, it was real. She had tried to explain to you how she had come back, that your brothers had been dealing with God and the Darkness and all this stuff that didn't seem to make much sense. She'd been shocked to hear that you hadn't spoken to them in so long, and she wanted you to come home, to be a family.

At first you said no. You had never been a family, not really. What made her think they could be now? By the time you'd decided to give it a shot, she was gone, trapped in some parallel world. So now it was just you and your brothers, staying in an old bunker that reminded you all too well of your old school.

You almost gave Dean a heart attack after your first hunt together. It didn't help that he couldn't take his eyes off you, probably because if people thought you'd looked like Mary as a kid, you really did now you were all grown up. They probably hadn't seen you since you were ten, and now you were almost twenty you really were the spitting image of her. Neither of the boys expected you to join in on the hunt, so they were shocked to learn that you had a few tricks up your sleeve. You'd never let hunting go - knowing what happened to your Mom, knowing what was really out there - how could you have stopped? But that night, you did kinda feel like a family. You'd butchered the nest, earned a few little scrapes, and enjoyed a beer back at the bunker with your big brothers. For a second, everything was perfect.

For a second. Before long, it all became too much. What the hell were you doing? You'd avoided your family for a reason, to stay disconnected to your life, to avoid reality. At some point they were bound to ask what you did as a day job, or what those scars up and down your arms were. The thought of all that...hell, you didn't even want to think about it. They'd probably kick you out, which you weren't sure was a good thing or a bad thing. They'd be disappointed with you, especially after spending all those years thinking you were the 'normal' kid.

That was where your head was at as you sat on the toilet seat in the bathroom in the cold, damp bunker. When you first moved in, you hadn't thought about what would happen when your stash got low, which now it was. That filled you with anxiety - you couldn't remember the last time you'd gone without a hit. Fumbling through your bags, you found enough weed to last you probably a week, barely enough pills for a few days, and maybe enough coke for tonight. Plus the 'emergency' bits hidden elsewhere that you swore you would never, ever touch unless you really, really had to.

You groaned, slamming your head back repeatedly onto the wall. Anxiety was starting to eat away at you, and you knew there was only one way to stop it. You reached behind the soap for the razor you stored, ready to go. As you brushed it gently across your wrists, you felt the stress leave you. The warm liquid that oozed down your arm sent you into a state of peace, the physical pain taking over from the mental. You much preferred that; at least with physical pain, you knew the source, how to stop it, you could see it all going on. When it was in your head, there was no end.

"Y/N!" It look you a second to recognise the voice as Dean's, not just a random client waiting for you in your room. "Y/N, Sammy found a case. You comin?"

You sighed, annoyed at being interrupted from your tranquility. "What sorta case?" you shouted back. "Demons took over a bar in Omaha." Dean's impatience was short lived, as you leapt up and swung your head out the door. "Gimme 5 secs, I'll be there." You hurriedly wrapped up your wrist, shoving the razor back in its hiding place. Omaha, the city known for its drug problems. If there was a chance you could cop a score, there was no way you were missing out on that hunt.

A few hours later, you were starting to regret you decision. Lying in the corner of a bar, having been thrown all over the place by the pissy little demon, you'd had no opportunity to get away from your brothers and find some locals. Dean was pretty beat, having tried to take the brunt of the fight. Sam had been knocked out at some point, but he crawled towards you as he came to.

"Hey, you okay? Are you hurt?" You shook your head. The only pain you really felt was your internal organs shifting around, screaming at you not to go into withdrawal. Dean finished off the final demon, and the three of you limped out to the Impala. After what felt like years, you finally arrived back at the bunker. Just in the nick of time too; your stomach was growling at you and at some point the nausea would make itself fully known. As you scrambled from the car, your head fuzzed, forcing you to sway slightly. Sam, ever the noticeable, reached out and grabbed you before you fell.

"You sure you're okay?" You tried to give him a smile, except his hand was wrapped tightly around your wrist. The wrist that was now pulsating and had started bleeding through the bandage under Sam's grip. Of course, he noticed. Call it big brother instinct or whatever.

"Dean, she's lying. Y/N is hurt, her arms bleeding. I'll get her inside, you go grab the first aid kit." Shit. How on earth were you gonna cover this one up?

"Sam, honestly, its fine. Just a scratch. You two are bleeding waaaay more than me..." But your brother was having none of it. He guided you down the stairs and into a seat, kneeling next to you ready to roll up your sleeve.

"Sam, please, don't" you tried to will him away, knowing it would have no effect. "C'mon, Y/N, let us take care of you. It's the least we can do-"

You couldn't look at him as he pulled your sleeve up and pealed away the bandage. For a second, time froze. Sam didn't move, and once Dean barged in and saw the scene you could feel the anger rising from him. "Dammit Y/N, that ain't no demon scratch. What the hell are you playing at?"

You snatched your arm out of Sam's grasp and shoved your sleeve back down. "Its nothing" you snarled. "You shouldn't have interfered, you don't even know me." You stormed off to your room, eyes stinging with tears. The lights were so bright, everything was starting to agitate you and you were desperate for a hit. Slamming the door behind you, you whipped out the bag you did under the bed.

It was empty. The few drugs you had left were gone. You felt sick, shivering down to the core. No, no, no, no. You stormed out the room, back to the kitchen where Dean had his hand on Sam's shoulder, comforting his obviously distressed brother.

"WHERE THE HELL IS IT?"

"Y/N..." Sam stood up and tried to walk towards you, but you stepped back, steaming with anger. "Don't fuck with me, Sam. I know you two have it. That wasn't your shit to take, so give it back, right now. NOW!" Sam shook his head sadly, "we can't do that, Y/N."

When had this happened? How long had they known? You thought you had it so well hidden! You stepped forward and pushed Sam's chest with as much power as you could, but he barely stumbled. "Give it back! Give it back! Give it back!" You screeched, pushing him harder this time. Neither of your brothers moved.

You spun around, desperate to find your stuff. Pots and pans went flying as you tore the kitchen apart, ripping the doors off their hinges, punching through the walls. "Y/N, please, we're just trying to help. Come sit down" Dean hovered behind you, his big hands reaching out to grab your shoulders. At the slightest touch you flinched, whirling round to face him. He instantly backed off, hands in the air. "C'mon, sis. Put the knife down". You hadn't even realised you were holding the sharp thing, hand gripping it tightly pointed straight at Dean's chest.

Fuck, you needed a hit. Your damn brothers - this is exactly why you didn't believe in family. How could they do this to you? They had no right to go snooping in your room, taking your things behind your back.

Except then it hit you. They couldn't have taken it all, because it wasn't all in the same place. You slowly moved towards the door, not letting the knife drop as a warning for Sam and Dean to stay back. Once you reached the corridor, you turned and sprinted towards your room, skidding on your knees as you locked the door behind you. You went straight to the bed, lifting up the mattress and peeling back a fragment of material that had been half picked off. Thank god for your secret stash.

"Y/N, let us in, please. We're worried about you, please, just talk to us. We hate seeing you in pain." Sam did genuinely sound upset, but you didn't care. You didn't care about anything right now, except for opening up the baggy and grabbing a lighter from your pocket to warm up the smooth, black gunk on a burnt-out tablespoon. Your hands were shaking so much, it took a while to get the flame lit, and you had to really focus on holding the spoon steady. You hardly registered the pounding at the door.

"Son of a bitch Y/N, let us in before we break the door down." You didn't for a second doubt Dean's threat, but so what? The liquid was bubbling as you pulled out a clean syringe kept alongside the secret stash and placed the tip in the centre. Or probably not the centre, seeing as you were so shakey and your vision so blurred.

You had barely filled the syringe before you heard the door heave. Dean was fulfilling his word, but he was too late. There was a reason you'd chosen a bedroom with a small window; it might not have been big, but it was the perfect smoking outlet. And now, for a desperate junkie about to hit the worst of withdrawal, it looked like the perfect way out. You broke the window with your bare fist, enjoying the pain of broken glass spreading across your knuckles. You squeezed out, not caring how you had to manipulate your limbs, as long as the syringe stayed in tact. You would guard that shit like your life depended on it. Because your life depended on it.

On the third heave, the door came crashing down. Sam and Dean knew it was too late; they'd heard the window smash and your groans as you tried to squeeze out of it.

"Dammit!" Dean kicked the bed as Sam crouched down and picked up the burnt-out spoon. "Dean...what have we done?" He looked up at this brother with desperation in his eyes. "What we had to, Sammy. You and I both know it was getting out of control, she was going to kill herself and she thought we had no idea." Sam threw the spoon on the floor. "And she still might, Dean, maybe now more than ever. We should never have taken her stuff, we should have talked to her first..." Dean grabbed his brothers shoulders and stared at him. "She's a junkie, Sam. Remember what you were like on demon blood? She's our sister, man, addiction runs in our veins. Look, I saved you, didn't I? So lets go save her, huh?"

The moon was so bright, it was intoxicating. You made it up the hill, leaving the bunker in the distance, but there was no way you could carry on. Every few steps you'd trip over, grasping the cold soil for stability. At some point you had to stop to throw up, feeling your whole body shake to the point of near collapse. It was now or never.

You could hear your brothers shouting for you in the distance as you slid down a tree, cradling the syringe like a baby. You'd never thought it would come to this - all your life you'd stayed away from needles, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Secretly you always knew it would get to this point - that was why you had the stuff, wasn't it? You tugged at your sleeve, wiping away as much of the dried blood from your cuts as possible and squeezing your arm tight to find a vein. Still, it was a gamble given that you were far too dizzy to spot something so small in almost total darkness. It pinched a little as it went in, and then everything stopped. Your head cleared, the air felt warm against your cheeks. You smiled as you let your body roll over, nestling your head in the moss. Peace, at last.

Sam thought he'd never find you. The woods around the bunker were so vast, and you could be anywhere. Regret seeped through him - all those lost memories he could have made with you as kids, all the chances in the last few years he and Dean should have made an effort to reach out and try to bring you home. He cursed himself as he charged through the bushes, shouting your name as loud as possible.

"Sam!" Dean's gruff voice echoed from his left. "Sam, she's over here!" The eldest Winchester was crouched down in front of you, muttering to himself. "C'mon sis, don't give up on us now." He scooped your lolling head up, resting it on his lap as he checked for a pulse.

Sam towered about him, panting in shock. "Is she..." Dean shook his head. "She's still alive, but her heart is racing, Sammy. I-I think she might be overdosing". He picked up your weak body as you let out a little groan, opening your eyes in slits. Dean looked down on you, his green eyes swamped with worry as he stroked your hair. "It's gonna be okay, Y/N. You're gonna get through this, I promise you. Me and Sammy, we're gonna patch you right up. I promise." You eyes rolled back into your head as you faded out, drifting off into the unknown.

You bit your lip as you opened the card left on your pillow. The boys hadn't said anything all day, but you knew they hadn't forgotten. Tears pricked your eyes as you read the words, full of love and appreciation that this time last year you never could have recognised. "Congrats on one year sober, Y/N." You spun around and smiled at your brothers, standing hunched in the doorway. You slid towards them, embracing them in a tight hug. You felt Sam's chest heave beneath you as he struggled to control his sobs, and you could feel Dean's wet check against yours. You would never forgive yourself for what you put them through, Sam trying to keep you alive in the back of the Impala as you seized and vomited, Dean driving a million miles an hour to get you to hospital. The past year had been horrendous, and there were countless times you thought there was no way you could stay clean.

But no matter what, Sam and Dean stood by you. Every hard day, they never left your side, constantly encouraging you, even if they didn't always say the right thing. They held your hair back as you threw up, patted your face with a cold flannel as you battled a raging fever. They visited every day when you were in rehab, bringing along information from their current cases so you could still help. And when you returned to the bunker, the place was gutted of alcohol as even Dean committed to supporting your sobriety. You could never have imagined anyone would want to care for you like they had. It had taken decades for you to feel like you belonged, but here you were. Team Winchester, ready to face anything. You had a new addiction now - family.

#supernatural #spn fic #spn #dean winchester #sam winchester #sam and dean #spn x reader #spn one shot #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester x reader #spn fics #spnrequests

99 notes · View notes

aprillikesthings · 2 years

Text

Breaking my tumblr timeout for Lent, to talk about a novel!

Summer of Love by Lisa Mason

I read this book in 1996, when I was in high school--it was published in 1994. Found it at the local library, reread it a billion times, eventually bought my own copy, reread THAT a ton, lost it at some point. Recently bought a secondhand copy online (which has a Borders sale sticker on the back).

And I'm so mad, because I really really want to talk about this novel with other people, but I feel like I've joined a fandom with zero people in it. I'm just yelling on a proverbial streetcorner (well, the corner of Haight and Ashbury, proverbially speaking) about this damn book!!!

But this is too fucking long, so under a readmore it goes:

Hooboy. I never really realized how formative this novel was??? I still had a TON of the text basically memorized. Also, I am disturbed to realize a lot of my adult aesthetic is basically the cover of this book.

As one example, plz enjoy this Modcloth dress I bought several years ago:

Yeah. Anyway.

This is, in fact, a sci-fi novel. A guy named Chiron from the year 2467 travels back to 1967 because data from that era has disappeared, and he has to ensure a few Very Specific Things happen to save the future he lives in. One of the things he has to do is find and protect a young woman (who goes by the pseudonym Starbright). The two of them meet and end up crashing at the home of Ruby Maverick, who lives over the metaphysical shop she owns.

I was obsessed with the late 1960's for my last couple years of high school, and I regularly had adults ask me if I wish I could go back in time to live there, and I think I surprised them by saying "Oh god, no." Because this book (along with The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test) made it very clear that 1. That era sucked ass for a lot of women! Second wave feminism hadn't really started yet! 2. A lot of the popular drugs were new, and we just didn't know how good or bad they were. Doing LSD a few times in your life: unlikely to hurt you, if you know what you're doing; often a very positive experience. What people of this era sometimes did: took massive doses, over and over and over, while being careless about their history of mental health or the set/setting in which they were taking it, leading to things like bad trips, psychotic breaks, and multiple accidental deaths. Oh, and a lot of famous people (and not-famous people) died from heroin overdoses.

But back to the women thing: this book just made it so, so painfully clear that being a young woman in the hippie movement of the 1960's could be Really Unpleasant. Not all the men of that era were assholes, but lots of them were, and there wasn't much to stop them.

(I'm gonna be honest: I love this book, but if it were published now people would LOSE THEIR SHIT, because Starbright is a not-yet-15-year-old runaway who has sex with a man in his late twenties and, later, one who is twenty-one. The actual sex with the much-older dude is portrayed in a relatively positive light--she enjoys the sex and finds him desirable--even though the novel makes it clear that, generally speaking, he's a really shitty person who takes advantage of her and then discards her. The twenty-one-year-old (Chiron, the time traveler) is a lot nicer to her, and the circumstances are wildly different, but it's definitely portrayed as morally fine on both sides. There are also multiple mentions of and discussions about sexual assault and prostitution. The novel just doesn't pull any punches about how sexist and awful the hippie scene could be. In an older interview that's still on the wayback machine, the author mentions something I hadn't considered but now seems obvious--that the sexual abuse of children wasn't a thing people talked about that much yet in that era, and interviews from both at the time and later show that a TON of the teenage runaways that ended up in Haight-Ashbury were survivors of CSA and other forms of abuse.)

The author (in that wayback-preserved interview) said she was able to read stacks of local alt newspapers from that era (on paper and microfiche), books written just after the fact, and even talked to a shit-ton of people who were there--some of whom are really well-known, like Grace Slick of Jefferson Airplane.

And the internet now has a lot more stuff on it than it did when I read this book the first time, which means I was able to look up a bunch of things that I have wondered about for years!

For instance: a TV special that was filmed in Haight Ashbury that summer and aired later that year is mentioned several times in the plot. It's real! It exists! It's on youtube! (I only got like twenty minutes into it, but man, were "normal" people confused and terrified by hippies.)

It's so wild to be able to google the commune that they visited at one point in the book, or the events the characters go to, or a lot of the people mentioned.

Because while some of the people in the novel are/were 100% real and did the things that are mentioned in the novel (yes, George Harrison and his wife stopped by the Haight once that summer, and George had on heart-shaped sunglasses lol), and some are 100% fictional (Chiron the time-traveler!), some made me think: this is probably based on a real person. There is far too much detail here compared to some of the other side characters.

In the novel, Leo Gorgon is a member of the Diggers--an anarchist group that fed people, started a free clinic, did public theater kinds of things. And some of the members were assholes, even with all the good they were doing trying to keep all those runaways sheltered and fed. Leo Gorgon is, in fact, kind of an asshole in the novel. (Not the same asshole who has sex with Starbright, though they're friends and Leo clearly thinks that dude's behavior is fine.)

And Chiron, being a time-traveler from the future, knows that Leo goes on to write two books (in one of which he says really horrible things about Ruby, the shop owner he was sleeping with off and on that summer) and then dies of a heroin overdose in the late 1970's.

But here's the thing: uhh. The Diggers were not a very large group of people. A lot of them were well-known. We know their names, is what I'm saying. So I looked up The Diggers on wikipedia, as one does.

Yeah, Leo is based on a very real person. Lisa Mason used his middle name and switched two letters of his last name and that was it.

And the "criticism of counterculture" bit of his wikipedia entry? Nearly every point on it is something he mentions in the novel/a plot point of the novel. (And he's not actually wrong, with some of them, imho; he's just kind of a dick about it.)

And now I have a secondhand copy of that dude's memoir in an online shopping cart. Because now I have to know if he really does mention someone who could be Ruby, for instance.

Also, have a photo of me on the corner of Haight-Ashbury that I got last month when I was in San Francisco to see Björk:

#lisa mason #summer of love

21 notes · View notes

tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 8*

Chapter 7

Chapter 9

I know, I wait almost 4 days and now you gotta go through this bullshit. I can already hear your cries of anguish and suffering.

I love it so much. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

That being said I promise regular chapters for the rest of the week! Okay I don't promise but I promise to do my best.

Note: Alright it's a fanfic people, alternate universes and all that. So you know what we're saying that all the Carisi sisters are younger, and Sonny was the big bro. Kay? I can't deal with all the continuity stuff.

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

@thatesqcrush

@shittanyy

@mrsrafaelbarba

------------------------

Sonny was watching TV with Amanda when his phone went off. He paused the movie and answered the phone:

“Barba it’s kinda late--”

“What's wrong with your cousin?” he flatly said.

“Excuse me?” Sonny asked. “What kind of question is that?”

“Just answer the question, Carisi,” Barba insisted.

“Well it's a loaded question, Barba.” Sonny replied.

“Okay then just answer me this,” Barba sighed. “Why did I come back to my apartment to find her halfway through my once full bottle of vodka and pouting on the couch. Oh, after she had gone through all of my things of course,”

“Aw shit,” Sonny muttered under his breath. “That's kind of on me, Barba,”

“One second babe,” He muttered to Amanda, while he got up and went into his kitchen.

“Babe?” Barba asked.

“It’s just Rollins,” Sonny dismissed it.

“So you have feelings for me, but you’re fucking Rollins?” He asked in a snarky tone.

“What, are you jealous or somethin’ Barba?” Sonny smirked.

“No, don’t be stupid,” Rafael rolled his eyes. “Why is it on you?” He changed the subject.

“I should have never filled her head with doubts and suspicions and then sent her back to your place; when I should have known that you would keep a full bar in your apartment,” Sonny sighed as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Well of course I would keep a stocked bar in my apartment Sonny, I entertain people and I'm a grown man,” Rafael scoffed.

“Yeah, again it's on me,” Sonny repeated.

“Okay so what is wrong with your cousin?” Rafael asked.

“I think that pretty much answers it, don't you think?” Sonny asked in a “duh” tone.

“... I see,” Rafael glanced at his bedroom door wearily.

“Where is she now? Did you send her away? Please tell me you didn't send her away,” Sonny begged.

“No I didn't send her away, she's sleeping it off in my bedroom,” He got up and walked to his bedroom door. “I didn't want to just kick her out because she was upset. I'm not that big of a dick,” He whispered as he watched you sleep. You looked so calm and peaceful, that’s the girl he remembered.

“ You know, this should probably be better explained in person,” Sonny walked back into his living room where Amanda glanced over at him. He motioned for her to get her stuff together.

“Can I come over?”

“Yeah okay, not like I have anything else to do,'' he rolled his eyes as he shut his bedroom door and walked back to his living room.

--------------.

Sonny showed up to Rafael's apartment with a loaded head and a semi heavy conscience. He knocked on the door and Rafael let him inside.

“Okay so what kind of long story is this,” Rafael asked while he poured himself a glass of scotch. He noticed Sonny giving him a weird look.

“What? It's not like she's in here now,” he rolled his eyes.

“True,” He nodded. “Do you have beer?”

“Yes, dark or light?” Rafael made a disgusted face while he asked. He couldn't stand the taste of beer but he always had it on him just in case he had barbarians over such as Sonny.

“Shiner Bock, if you have it,” Sonny requested. Rafael nodded as he went into his ‘party fridge’ and handed him one before sitting on the couch across from him.

“Alright so where do I start?” Sonny thought out loud.

“Well I guess first of all I wanted to say I don’t wanna say I told you so, but this is exactly why I didn't want you and Y/N to get involved in the first place. It had nothing to do with my feelings for you. It’s because I know that you tend to keep relationships with guys and girls chill and casual, but Y/N is a special case and special to me,”

“Yeah.. I wish you had expressed that before,” Rafael groaned.

Well what was I supposed to say in front of her, Barba? ‘Oh hey by the way, you probably shouldn't get involved with my trainwreck of a cousin? Sonny asked defensively.

“Maybe? I don’t know…” Rafael sighed as he put his head in his hands.

“Look, Rafael,” Sonny put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s not like she’s some kinda degenerate junkie,”

“Oh well, that’s great--” He started to roll his eyes.

“I’m serious Rafael!” He pounded the table.

“Okay okay, I’m sorry Sonny,” He finally used his first name, trying to be as soft with him as possible. He could see how much you meant to him, and it was really endearing. “Go ahead,”

“Alright,” Sonny sighed, ready to tell your life story. You would probably kill him later for it, but there was no hiding your...issues now, he might as well get the whole context.

“Well, first of all-- her dad died before she was born, overdose,” He began. “Then she was stuck with her junkie mother, my auntie. Who by the way at this point, nobody had heard from in years,” He took a sip of beer.

“So anyways,” He began again. “One day, she showed up at my mom’s doorstep with Y/N, and told her that she can’t take care of Y/N, or that she didn’t want to,” He sighed. “She was three years old by then, I don’t even wanna think about what happened before then,”

“Jesus…” Rafael muttered.

“I was eight years old at the time, my sisters were even younger. My mom and dad had enough on their plate with just us. So, I kinda took her under my wing,” He went on.

“We became so close, she wanted to go by “Sunny” just so she could be like me. I told her it would be confusing for the two of us, so I called her Sunshine, Sunny for short. That way if I’m calling her sunny, then obviously it’s not myself,” He chuckled. To this day, he still called you Sunshine.

“But as she grew up, she just...kinda had a rough go. She didn’t really interact with kids her own age, she was really defensive and untrusting with anybody but me. Not even my parents. And then we got the call that her mother died, and it ripped me up inside to see her body at the funeral. It was so fucked up, she was so fucked up. That’s why I-- I think something really bad happened to her when she was with her mother, Rafael. Like-- really, bad.

“Fuck..." Rafael muttered while glancing at his bedroom door. He didn't want to imagine what you had been through at such a young age. He wanted to run in his room right now and just hold you, but he kept his composure.

“So then I went off to college when she was ten years old, just about to start junior high. She begged me to stay, but I told her she had a good family and that my parents and sisters loved her as much as I did, and to stay out of trouble. But...kids are cruel. They made her harder, and harder. Without me there to be her-- I dunno, her guiding light or her-- protector, she just kinda fell into a bad crowd by the time high school rolled around,” He sighed while taking another swig of beer.

“...Right,” Rafael nodded.

“So when i came home from school my mom told me she was going to kick Sunny out. I asked her why, and she went on and on about how she had gotten in with these local girls who were like, I dunno some kinda girl gang, and they’d knock over liquor stores and then get drunk and stoned. She said she was never around anyway, unless it was to steal money out of her purse; And she just didn’t wanna deal with her anymore,”

“...But she was only fifteen at the time,” Rafael was stunned.

“Yeah, and that’s what I told her!” Sonny exclaimed. “Look Barba my mom is the salt of the earth, but like I said she had a lot on her plate and my dad wasn’t around a lot-- and she had three other daughters to watch out for,”

“Three of her OWN daughters,” Rafael clarified with a judgmental tone.

“HEY,” Sonny warned. “I know how it sounds. And maybe-- maybe you’re right, maybe that’s why she washed her hands clean of Sunny. Because she was just a by-product of her fucked up sister. But I-- I’m not gonna condemn her for it. And you sure as hell don’t get to judge her,”

“You’re right,” Rafael nodded while sipping his scotch.

“So I took Sunny in,” Sonny finished his beer as he wrapped up his story. “I took her in while I went through the police academy. I made sure she got sober, quit hangin’ out with those girls, I got her to do well in school, hell I got her to graduate high school!”

“And…?” Rafael pressed.

“...And when I started bouncing around precincts, she was finally a productive member of society so she started living on her own. She had a few jobs, but never really going anywhere. So once I got placed here in SVU and started making better money, I started helping her out with rent and her car, as long as she promised to start going to community college. Which she agreed to because she really does wanna make something of herself,” He half smiled thinking about how far you had come and how proud he was to call you his cousin now. You were so full of life with dreams and ambitions he never saw in you as a scared little kid.

“Okay so-- how does all of this lead to what happened tonight?” Rafael leaned back and crossed his arms.

“Because she’s still an addict, Barba!” Sonny tried not to yell, but didn’t understand why Rafael was still so flippant about you.

“Just because she got her life together-- I got her life together, doesn’t mean that she just got ‘better’. She’s on a daily see-saw of sobriety. I do weekly ‘drop ins’ just to check on her. It’s gotten a lot better as time goes on, and the less and less I worry about her, but--” He took a breath and looked at the floor.

“....Deep down she’s still that little girl with all of her walls and her distrust. She doesn’t have friends, I really don’t think she’s ever had a stable ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend,’ I mean she-- she doesn’t, talk to people,” He paused before looking up and into Rafael’s eyes.

“...Which is why it has been yankin' my chain tryin’ to figure out just why in God’s name she was so-- open, to you,” He finally admitted. “She’s never been that close to anybody else but me, not in her entire life,”

“Wait,” Rafael put a finger up. “So...you haven’t actually been jealous of Y/N this whole time, you’ve been jealous of me?” He half laughed.

“I mean, it’s a little of both,” He shrugged with a small smile, able to joke about his feelings now. “But I meant what I said when I first got here, I know the main thing that Y/N needs in her life right now is stability. And you-- you are not stable, in the least,”

“Oh I’m the unstable one?” Rafael raised an eyebrow.

“Relationship wise, yeah,” Sonny pointed out.

“....Fair point,” Rafael nodded as he finished off his scotch. He knew the longest relationship he had ever had was with the cute barista he saw every morning who knew how to make his coffee just right. And that relationship only took him five minutes a day to maintain.

“So…” Sonny knocked Rafael from his thoughts.

“So...what?” Rafael quirked an eyebrow.

“So, I think that--” Sonny took a deep breath, knowing you might hate him for this. But it was for the best, and it needed to be said.

“I think that if you care anything about her, or me for that matter, that you let me take her home, and forget about this whole weekend,”

“....I mean…” Rafael rubbed the back of his neck. He didn't want to let you go. Well, he didn't want to let go of the girl he had met at Forlini's. The girl who made him laugh, who he could be his true self around, the girl he might---

“Look the bottom line here Barba is that Y/N is-- a lot of work. I should know, I’ve been taking care of her for 19 years. But I don’t mind it, because I love her more than anything else in this world. Well, her and the rest of my family. But still-- I love her,” Sonny now stood up.

“And I get that you like her, but she--- she has gotten way too serious about you way too fast, and way too hard. And this?” He gestured around the room, referring to the whole night. “This ain’t even the tip of the iceberg with her, if she’s really fallen off the wagon,”

“...God dammit,” Rafael stood up and began to pace in his living room. He thought about every single second he had spent with you since he met you; you had never seemed so...broken, as Sonny was describing you.

“What I’m saying is, unless you’re ready to-- ‘deal’ with her, and everything that comes with that, please for the love of God, just walk away now,” Sonny pleaded.

“Because she won’t listen to me if I tell her to stay away from you. And if things get too ‘real’ for you, you’re just gonna freak out or-- or get bored, and throw her away. Her self worth will drop to shit. And if that happens, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get her back from that,”

“I would never just throw her away, Carisi,” Rafael rolled his eyes.

“You can’t say that, Barba,” Sonny debated.

“And why the hell not?” Rafael narrowed his eyes.

“Because you’ve never NOT just ‘thrown away’ someone,” He chuckled. “That front door might as well be a garbage chute,”

“You son of a--” Rafael started to yell at him but Sonny cut him off.

“Tell me I’m wrong, Barba. Look me in the eyes and tell me I have no idea what I’m talking about, and I’ll leave here and let you deal with her the way you want to,” Sonny looked at him pensively. Rafael looked at him for several seconds, then softened his glare into a sad concession.

“....Take her,” He muttered softly while looking at the ground.

“Thank you,” Sonny mumbled softly as he turned to go retrieve your passed out self from the bedroom. However, he was instead met with the most unsettling sight:

You were standing in the doorway of the room, glaring at the two of them.

“...H-Hey, Sunshine--” Sonny tried to appease you with an awkward smile.

“Don’t,” You growled, stomping into the living room and began packing your bag.

“Y/N, what are you--” Rafael went to put a hand on your bag but you snatched it away before you shot fire out of your eyes into his gaze.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I misunderstand what you just said?” You barked at him with tears in your eyes. “Because I’m pretty damn sure I heard ‘take her’. You know like I’m some sort of defective Amazon package,”

“That’s not what I meant---” He softly spoke, the guilt of his words being heard by you was quickly eating him alive.

“No I know what you meant, Rafael,” You zipped your duffel shut angrily.

“I heard the whole god damn spiel. Which, by the way, thank you so much for detailing my entire little sob story, cousin,” You glared at Sonny as you started walking towards the front door, shoulder checking him.

“But neither of you have to worry about anything anymore, okay? You’re released from your ‘duties’. This trainwreck is leaving the station, so you can relax,” You looked at the both of them with pain in your eyes, tears cracking your words.

“Sunshine--” Sonny started after you.

“DON’T,” You glared at him while putting a finger up. “Don’t ever call me that again,”

“At least let me drive you home--”

“No,” You shook your head. “And you know what, cuz? I didn’t realize I was such a financial burden, so you know what? Cut me off. Because I’d rather be homeless again than take any more money from you,”

“What did I do?!” Sonny was now angry. “All I did was come over and try to protect you, that’s it!”

“I don’t need your protection!” You screamed. “This whole time...this whole time, I thought you were proud of me. That you trusted me,”

“I do trust you--”

“You don’t!” You stomped your foot while tears streamed down your face. “Y-You think that if . one single thing like a boy not liking me is gonna set me off, like I’m some kind of bomb you’ve kept from detonating for years. My life is not your responsibility anymore, Sonny! I don’t think it ever was!”

“Well who’s else was it gonna be?!”

“NOBODY’S!!!!” You finally dropped your duffel bag and kicked the wall, leaning your head against it. You were strangely quiet for a long pause before you spoke again in an eerily calm voice.

“...Do you know why my mother “dropped me off’ with your mother?”

“Because she couldn’t take care of you--”

“No I heard what you said,” You sniffled with a sad smile. “Because she didn’t want to,”

“Sunshine--”

“But leaving me with your mother, was her plan b,” You cut him off, still looking at the floor.

“What do you mean?” Sonny asked cautiously while looking at Rafael who had a terrified look in his eyes.

“She didn’t want to ‘burden’ her sister with me, but she had to when I wouldn’t die,”

“...W-What?” Rafael almost choked on the words in disbelief.

“She tried to smother me with a pillow, but I wouldn’t die. I kept screaming and crying, and I guess it touched her strand of humanity, so she stopped,” You rolled your eyes with the same sad smile.

That memory was forever imprinted in your brain. The terror of being woken up in blackness, unable to breathe. The smell of the cigarette smoke covered pillow being shoved into your throat and nostrils. Your mother crying and telling you it would be over soon, just to let go. And finally her sad, pathetic whimpers and sobs when she finally lifted the pillow from you, disappointed in herself that she couldn’t do one good thing in her life. That now she was going to have to pass you, her problem, onto her sister.

“Y/N, baby girl--” Sonny stepped towards you again.

“I wasn’t supposed to be raised by anybody, Sonny. I’m not even supposed to be alive!” You stomped your foot again while tears continued to flow.

“That’s not true!” He ran over and grabbed you in a hug. “You are not a burden,”

“Really?” You laughed sarcastically into his shoulder as you pushed him away from the hug. “You just said your mom didn’t even want to deal with me. Nobody did,”

“I did!” He argued. “I do,”

“Yeah well, maybe I’m my mother’s daughter. I don’t wanna be your burden,” You picked up the duffel and opened the door.

“Okay well you have no choice in that so you’re gonna have to let that go,” Sonny grabbed your hand before you could walk away.

“Fine,” You finally conceded with a blank expression.

“Guess I’ll just have to let a lot of things go, won’t I?” Your voice cracked as you looked at Rafael one more time with the saddest eyes.

He stared back at you with a stone cold face. He wanted so badly just to go and hold you in his arms, telling you how you didn’t deserve any of what happened to you, and that you deserved everything good and all the love in the world. But Sonny’s pleas were still in his head.

He didn’t know if he wanted the responsibility of your entire self worth and happiness, let alone your sobriety on his shoulders. He didn’t even like to get close to clients with that many issues, the pressure was too much. So instead he just stood there, trying not to show how much this was killing him, sending you away like this.

“Come on Sunshine, just-- let’s go, okay?” Sonny pleaded with you softly, pulling at your hand. You didn’t answer, you just nodded and started walking down the hallway towards the elevator, leaving Sonny at the door.

“...Thank you, Barba,” He mumbled softly, nodding at Rafael. Rafael barely nodded back before Sonny closed the door.

As soon as it was closed, Rafael dropped on his knees and began to cry. He didn’t know why exactly, was he crying because he felt horrible for all the shit you had gone through? Was he angry at himself for not being able to get over his own bullshit to actually open up and care about someone for more than a week? Was he really that big of a hypocrite, showing empathy to clients all the time but shutting out the one person he felt he might-- he couldn’t even think it. He wouldn’t let himself think it. He just composed himself and poured another scotch while turning on the TV, trying to forget what just happened.

His NETFLIX menu popped up; it asked him if he wanted to continue watching Bojack Horseman. He closed his eyes and muttered obscenities in spanish while memories of the night before flooded his brain, making him cry angry tears once more. He finally decided just to go to bed, maybe his brain would release him from torture if he could turn it off.

He wasn’t sure he could ever turn it off now.

#rafael barba #rafael barba angst #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #law and order svu fanfiction #svu fanfiction #sonny carisi #weird secret friends #rafael barba imagine

45 notes · View notes

brokenolivejar · 3 years

Text

Old childhood photo but in low quality lmao

Gonna explain 3 different backstories let’s a go -cracks knuckles-

Kaito(deer): he was born in a pretty average family and being an only child he lived near the orphanage so he passed by it everyday and on the way there would see Himiko and Kokichi always being left out by the other kids so eventually he hopped the fence to go hang out with them and since then they were best friends eventually Kokichi got adopted so kaito begged his parents to adopt Himiko so she won’t be lonely and eventually they caved in and so he grew up with Himiko as his sister so it just strengthened their bond but his parents were pretty neglectful not that they didn’t care but they kept forgetting that they exist forgetting to feed them ect. Eventually him and his family apart from Himiko got sick kaito made it but for his parents unfortunately didn’t thus making him and Himiko go back to the orphanage, eventually he got adopted by mondo and taka unfortunately having to part ways with Himiko but they kept in touch as pen pals eventually ending up in the same high school and reunited with one another as well as Kokichi and they became an inseparable trio once again eventually he sort of witnesses Kokichi and Himiko growing apart and fighting more often and he eventually gets tired of it and registers not only him but Kokichi Himiko and maki(Himiko spends a lot of time with her) for danganronpa and one day when all of them are arguing the danganronpa van pulls up and then insert kidnapping and danganronpa .

Himiko(red panda)-proceeds to project horribly into her-: Himiko was sort of raised by her father and mother an only child yes but she was originally born male and her mother wanted a daughter so she was very manipulative of what Himiko wore and forced her to play with stuffed animals and told her she was supposed to be a girl so Himiko genuinely believed that she let her mother down and her alcoholic father constantly abused her and often would attempt to drown Himiko all the time but let her live anyways at one point he threw her into the ocean off of a boat and before he could get “caught” he acted as if she fell in herself and “saved her” and that’s were Himiko developed her thalassaphobia eventually her mother died of illness and her father abandoned her at the orphanage and disappeared Himiko was made fun of for being trans at the orphanage by the other kids and was always constantly left out of everything eventually Kokichi arrived and was out casted as well and they quickly became friends best friends at that eventually they befriended kaito and then -insert the adopt part with kaito- anyways she ends up still being in the orphanage and all alone since no one is there and she keeps getting bullied eventually she snaps and knocks out three kids with a relatively large rock then she burns the orphanage to the ground and runs away eventually running into yasuhiro and he’s kinda just like okay I’ll take you in and his mom is like boy wtf and she ends up getting attached anyways ends up in high school and goes through extreme amounts of dysphoria sense she keeps getting asked if she’s a guy or a girl ect. Eventually she gets partnered up with maki in a project and they get really close and become inseparable eventually falling in love and kiss kiss fall in love, but there’s a problem she’s been doing drugs not only to like transition (along that spectrum) and got addicted and is somehow good at hiding it eventually she wipes out due to overdose and maki finds her laying there bleeding out of her nose and panics and takes her to the hospital and since she’s wiped out due to drugs so many times her brain is slow and she’s tired all the time and the doctors can’t really help that they assigned maki to be in control of her intake of her prescription and Kokichi is super upset about that he’d yell at her all the time for doing something stupid like that and she’d snap back eventually leading to useless fights all the time eventually she got bottom surgery.

Kokichi(fox): born a little brother to a semi rich family with an alcoholic father and whore mother his brother never paid attention to him ect. He was eventually taken away by child protective services and ended up in the orphanage all the other kids thought he was strange and all casted him out he would see Himiko getting bullied and would usually sit outside and eat with her and eventually becoming friends he developed a crush for kaito and Himiko would always tease him for it eventually he got adopted by celestia and he was separated from his two friends and he was raised within a casino taught how to lie and gamble by his goth mother she eventually made a scarf for him and he wore it around his ankle,but since Celeste was super protective of Kokichi it made him a target for people who want to make her lose her composure so she assigned him a group of body guards who became his good pals eventually he came out as non binary so his gang were very accepting of them. Fast forward to when they’re in high school they constantly got bullied by shuichi, kaito and Himiko would always defend them . Eventually himiko ended up in the hospital and they didn't know why until maki texted them what had happened. Kokichi didn't really like maki that much because they genuinely thought she was stealing they're best friend from them even though they knew that they were girlfriends they wasn't jealous because they were still head over heals over kaito. When himiko came out of the hospital they immediately noticed she was so much more tired and constantly zoned out and super out of it and maki was like her guide and never left her side they eventually confronted her about the drug situation since they were the one who went to her house and cleaned her house clean from drugs with hiro and his mother they found all sorts of drugs there that scared them and they would scold himiko for it eventually confronted they just kept fighting over everything and they grew super apart which in the first part they were happy about it thinking she was toxic and stuff but they realized they were being a dick and they started harassing her as soon as she got out of the hospital. they would spend all of their time with kaito.

__________________

Yes some of these are strange but shh this is my au so I can do whatever I want

And for the himiko and drugs please don't ask i- I know how it feels to overdose so shfhdhfh

And that's these three I was considering adding maki as well but I didn't because it's kinda of a separate thing because her story doesn't necessarily intertwine with these three until she starts dating himiko so

There's obviously more but this is like basic yes basic and it's harder to explain through text djdhhfhf

Also sorry for the copious amounts of spelling errors my brain doesn't function properly

#danganronpa v3 #danganronpa #danganronpa killing harmony #danganronpa au #himiko yumeno #maki harukawa #harumeno #catified #dogified #animalized #danganronpa animalized #kaito momota #kokichi ouma #celeste ludenberg #yasahiro hagakure #kiyotaka ishimaru #mondo owada

11 notes · View notes

valatheapprentice · 3 years

Text

Echoes of the Past

Brought to us by @arcana-echoes

Vala Quintus

Hometown

Vala was born as Princess Alexandra Cirillo in the kingdom of Sparta. She wasn't allowed to go out into the kingdom. The few times her hand maiden would allow her to sneak out, shed find herself in a rowdier part. Despite being loud and reckless, they seemed to be very mindful and playful with her. She ran away at 6 and came to Vesuvia, where she was adopted and lived a fairly normal childhood in a nice neighborhood

Parents (mentions abuse)

Her birth parents were very cordial at best. They were very patriotic, proud and loving of their kingdom. When their son, valas older brother, was born, they loved him about as much. Years go by and they make a deal with the devil. Im exchange of their children's magic, he would be sure sparta lived on forever and that their children would go down in history. Since their son had no magick and an only child then, they agreed. A few years go by and they give birth to vala. While they loved her at first. That changed the moment she displayed magical abilities. With fear of the devil and magick being outlawed and detested , they would lock her in a cellar and place shackles on her to prevent her using said magic. By age three, Centaurs had threatened the kingdom. In exchange for being left alone, her parents agreed to let her be taken from time to time to entertain them, beating and r*ping her when they had gotten drunk. At this point they had seen her as more of an object and annoyance. When she ran away, war broke out and they died in that war.

Her adoptive parents were a lot different. They found her on the beach and took her in, despite originally not wanting kids. With nightmares and being former royalty (now kept secret) came behavior issues they had to help her overcome. They were extremely patient but stern. They gave her a fun and warm home and she lived 9 years as a fairly normal and happy child until her mother died when she was 15. She learned to cook and got her sense of humor from them. They signed her up for belly dance lessons, which she uses along woth her root work. Which they encouraged her into practicing.

Magick

She first showed signs of magick at age 2, but didn't really know it. As she got older she realized she could do things but was quickly punished for doing them. Once she was able to harness her power, she realized she was strongest with fire and chaos magick. She found some travelers and learned root work and conjuring from them. Which she continued researching and practicing after they left. She also has a strong connections to spirits and works/talks to them often

Education

She was heavily tutored as a princess, forced to learn Italian, and law despite being told she could never amount to anything due to her duties. In Vesuvia, she attended a public school until she dropped out at 15. Due to her love of dance and her Magick type, choir and science were her favorite subjects

The "aunt"

In her teens, she had been in trouble with the law frequently. Once she got back on her feet, she found qnd abandoned home and more or less squatted in it. She fixed it up with asras and her dads help and turned it into her shop "Magick and Mayhem". As soon as they started getting business, she was able to pay rent for it. The police she dealt with before let her slide of some formalities so they can keep seeing her stay out of trouble

Friends

In Sparta, her only friend was her handmaidens son, whom she rarely played with. In vesuvia, she had a habit of befriending colorful characters. One she was close to before she dropped out happened to be the daughter of a crime boss, Stella (another oc and LI for valerius)

Occupation (mentions substance abuse)

She dropped out of school after becoming dependent on drugs and entering an abusive relationship with her dealer. Despite helping forgive his debt in unsavory ways, she learned /some/ business skills through selling for him after a few years, such as negotiations.

Familiar

Her familiar is a possum named Arthur. She found him in a box labeled "free kitty" and couldn't resist. They are able to communicate and heal eachother. Hes able to sense peoples energy and his reactions can be seen as a warning for her. Together, they can manipulate the energy in anyone and anything. Its just a matter of if the want to or should

First loves (mentions abuse)

She had one love before meeting asra. Pete Uchiha (street name Ocho) was her dealer turned boyfriend when she was 15. Despite the good times she clung to and being too young to know better, he mentally, physically, and sexually abused her and forced her into dealing for him and attacking people who owed him. After 2 years of his paranoia and control. She met asra when he was homeless and a thief. They quickly went from being friends to facing an affair.

Cuisines

Growing up with her new family, her dad absolutely loves making chili and spicy beer chicken. While she could eat those everyday, she and her mom loved anything involving shrimp and gyros.

Defining moment (mentions substance abuse, attempted suicide, and crimes)

While she was considerate of others and wanted to be nice to everyone, she had little foresight, no impulse control, and often just thought of herself. The moment that really made her change her life was when she was 19. She had discovered she she could make any surface become soft and safe to land on. So she, Pete, and mutual friends would go onto a roof top, get high And basically fall into a dumpster. This went on for years until one day, her friend jumped and missed the spot, killing him. Once she realized what happened she was grief and guilt stricken and tried to overdose. Luckily, she was found and taken to the hospital where she started to detox. Later on she was arrested for manslaughter but was released on probation. That was the moment she realized she couldn't live like that. Pete was put on jail, she broke things off, and swore to never get high again and makeup for every wrong shes everyone, or try, since she finds herself responsible for the war as well. Still is and always will be, impulsive though

Holidays

She is a pagan, worshipping the Greeks gods (patron is Hermes, arcana is judgement). She follows the basic pagan holiday wheel. She will give either food drink or dance offerings and meditate to give her thanks to them and the spirits

Aftermath

After she had died, outside of asra, her father was completely grief stricken. Customers and neighbors felt sorry for their loss, a few even missing her and her energetic and kind energy. When asra brought her back, everyone knew something messed up happened and looked at them like outcasts. She has absolutely no memory and has to relearn how to talk, so this confused and disheartened her greatly. When asra told her dad, they got into a huge fight, her dad angry for putting more turmoil in their lives. So far (in my stories at least) he can't bare to face her, knowing she doesn't remember him yet/anymore

In another life

If she hadn't have left sparta. She would have died. Lets be real.

Given how she got the plague (kissing lucio, in a story ill post), it could have been avoided but then asra wouldn't have needed to be at the palace in her place and who knows what would have happened if lucio got his way in the ritual. Even ignoring that, when shed face asra again, it wouldn't have worked out. At least nothing would be easily forgiven. She'd probably be a numb and tired person after

If she had left with him, I think she'd feel guilt for leaving. Like itd be a happier life, being safe with asra in a new place, but I see her being more depressed and submissive. She just agreed to leave her home and father to rot in her mind.

Freebie

So, and I didnt know why until my husband helped me figure it out, but I always imagined her and julian getting married before having kids and her and lucio getting pregnant before getting married. Im one for diving deep into the psychology of my and other characters. While she and julian are no where near innocent and all, they tend to have a more wholesome relationship. She is very headstrong and a switch. Julian is in my mind a switch but is more submissive in personality. Lucio is just as headstrong as well as temperamental. So they but heads a lot and can be seen as a very emotionally charged couple. She does believe love is an action more so than a feeling, thanks to her adoptive mom and dad, and not many people put up with his shit out of love, so they do put the effort onto each other. So the more traditional route, in my mind I guess is better fit for julian and the chaotic route fits lucio better. (Idk I love doing deep dives into this kind of thing. Like ill spend hours talking to my super smart husband or researching to find the correct mindsets)

#the arcana apprentice #the arcana game #the arcane mc #the arcana #echoes of the past #arcana eotp #the arcana asra #the arcana julian #the arcana lucio #oc backstory #my oc stuff

11 notes · View notes