#he’s resent his real family though if he ever did remember them

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

dual-part fic prompt: first a moment where nikolai ran across the darkling as a little boy, potentially even a scene where he'd broken into his private rooms and was hiding or something, and then a moment where he's mocking nikolai sometime circa R&R or KOS just before the monster takes over again (can be real or a hallucination)

Not the exact same concept but I was already working on a one shot with vaguely similar elements! Pre KoS I had a lot of thoughts about the Darkling resurfacing as basically a voice in Nikolai’s head. So I’m leaning into that with this.

***

At first, Nikolai thinks he is going mad. Ever since that fateful night, where he plummeted from the sky, still more monster than man, the Darkling’s power rapidly fading from him, but not quickly enough, he’s felt it. There’s an ice in his chest, always with him, an invasive presence chilling him to the bone. There are thoughts, urges, he doesn’t quite understand, that don’t quite feel like his own. When he dreams, even his nightmares aren’t fully his.

He might dream of meat, of sprouting talons and wings again, of losing sanity and taking flight. Or see his family dying at that last wretched dinner in his honor, gruesome memories from the army, from his time at sea. Those things are horrible, but they’re familiar. They’re not foreign things lodged into his mind.

Other nights though, he dreams of traveling endlessly, changing names with every village and city, always looking over his shoulder for fear of being discovered. Of hands holding him underwater, in an iced over lake. But in the most frequent dreams, he is only terrified of being alone in the all-consuming dark.

Then there are the dreams of Alina. Her hands, her neck, the feel of her. The way her face betrays her every single emotion. And the collar. Always the collar. Mine, a quiet, resentful voice whispers to him. She should have been mine. Mine to shape, mine to guide. My balance. My right.

It would be simpler to call it madness. But of course, Nikolai would never have such good fortune.

He’d hoped it— whatever it was— would go away with time, that it was just a matter of readjusting to life as a mere mortal again. That it was only the simple business of becoming reacquainted with trivial civilities such as speech, and literacy, and complex thought. But no, even as his monstrous foray feels more and more like a dream, Nikolai continues to feel distinctly altered.

Sobachka, he’ll hear the ghost of the Darkling say in his head. In the dark of night, half-ensared by sleep, when he will not fully remember. Usurper, he calls him. Thief. You foolish, boy-king. Your life is like a flicker of a candle, snuffed out before it’s begun.

The voice persists, grows stronger with each passing day, seeping into his waking moments. A nagging, bitter thing, a wound he cannot help but worry at, and feel it grow even more painful, inflamed.

Sometimes when the nightmares are at their worst, they’ll leave him thrashing in his bed, stumbling out of it with a will he doesn’t fully understand. Sometimes he’ll come to in the halls of the Little Palace, having slipped past multiple sets of guards, and through the wooded tunnel in his sleep. Usually he wakes before he gets too far— after all it’s always the same route, to Alina’s door.

This time, he wakes with his fingers— always stained with black, he still shudders at the sight of them— curled around the cool metal door handle. He recoils, almost stumbles, and he is about to turn away, but then the door opens a crack and he can see her peering out at him.

“Nikolai?” Alina says, voice raspy like she’s been asleep or perhaps crying. He can see the warm glow of lamplight behind her. She’s told him she cannot stand the dark anymore. That makes two of them.

He runs a hand through his hair, not quite fully awake yet. That dreaming urge to be near her still eating at him. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

“Is something wrong?”

Tell her you’re pathetic, a drowning child, foolish enough to wade out into the sea. Instead he blinks, tries to smile. “I couldn’t sleep.”

She finally opens the door all the way, gesturing for him to come in. His gaze flickers to the antlers at her neck, the scales at her wrist, and the second fetter, bone white but delicately carved into the shape of talons clasped around her other wrist.

He always wonders if she’d requested that bit of obfuscation, or perhaps David had been feeling artistic. It’s weakness. Even now she refuses to face difficult truths.

She ushers him through the impersonal audience chamber and to the hexagonal bedroom all in shades of black. He wonders idly if she’ll ever change it.

She fusses over him to sit by the fire. He hadn’t realized he was shaking.

“I’d ring for tea,” she says. “But you hate it, and it is unreasonably late.”

“It is an abominable hour isn’t it? I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

She smiles faintly, fetching glasses and a bottle of brandy instead. He takes his own glass gratefully, tries not to spill it. He wonders how drunk he’d have to be before he stops hearing that cool voice in his head, trickling through his own thoughts like meltwater.

It hasn’t quite been a year since the Shadow Fold was destroyed. Since she drove a dagger in the Darkling’s heart to do it.

Nikolai doesn’t remember this part, or well, he shouldn’t remember, he wasn’t back to himself by then. But somehow he knows. The roiling, cold thing, whatever remnant of the Darkling still exists inside him, it remembers. How could I forget? When I was so close to my purpose, so close to lifting this country out of its misery.

After all was said and done, Alina had quietly accompanied him back to the capital. The Saint at his side to bolster his claim. She’d weathered the coronation with him and the chaos of drawing Ravka back from civil war.

But mostly she just sequesters herself in this room and its funerary elegance. He wonders if she likes it because it’s so miserable, or simply because it belonged to the Darkling. It’s a strange shrine to a dead man.

He’d proposed to Alina yet again, after everything, and she’d rejected him firmly enough that he’s resolved that it will be the final time. It had stung though, so much that he doesn’t like to think about it.

Even an orphan girl that comes from nothing will not have you. How humiliating.

Nikolai wants to say, if certain dreams are anything to go by, then it appears you’re in the same boat. But he catches himself before he does.

The most frustrating part of this, beyond the confusion and the unnerving distraction of having a foreign voice nattering in his head, is that more often than not he cannot reply. Nikolai has always been uniquely terrible at keeping his mouth shut. Over the years he’s become very adept at knowing the right thing to say, but simply staying silent is not one of his strengths. It’ll be just what he needs, walking around arguing with an invisible adversary.

He can see it now. Mad King Nikolai, remembered for his good looks and the pesky habit of interrupting nearly every conversation with entirely irrelevant, but admittedly clever, insults.

Alina lets him drink in silence, waiting for him to collect himself long enough to speak.

“There’s something wrong with me,” he says finally, more bluntly than he’d like.

“What do you mean?”

There’s too much open concern in her eyes, startlingly dark next to the rest of her face. This close he can tell that she has been crying. For her tracker no doubt. Wasted tears on an otkazat’sya who was only ever born to die.

He must really look wretched, because she touches his face gently. It’s meant in simple comfort but for a helpless moment he wonders if she’s trying to hurt him.

That’s pity on her face. She sees you for the broken, repulsively frail thing you are. A clock with a missing cog, a puppet with cut strings. Pathetic.

The firelight catches in her pale hair, makes it into a halo. It gleams off the amplifiers too, turning the bone white of them to a warm gold. He doesn’t like the way his eyes keep catching on them. And the place on her shoulder, where beneath the nightdress, he shouldn’t know she has a scar.

He pulls away, looking to the fire, the rest of the room, anything but her.

Despite everything, his wounded pride and his wounded heart, he’s glad now that she knew better than to accept his hand. Perhaps she sensed it somehow. How he is still stained by the Darkling’s mark.

“I’m not entirely certain yet,” he tells her, attempting for a light tone and failing miserably. “There’s a few possibilities, I don’t much like any of them.”

“Well, what are they?”

He remembers, as a child, in his rowdier days before anyone had come close to mastering the art of making him sit through an entire lesson at a time, he’d actually snuck in here. It’s virtually unchanged since then, the same carved forest on the walls, the same chips of pearls on the ceiling. He’d known no tutor would dare to look for him in the storied Darkling’s quarters. And he’d been right.

Unfortunately the room’s occupant himself had the audacity to be there, sitting by the same fireside with a book. Nikolai still remembers how towering the Darkling had seemed to his child’s eyes, gazing down at him with a bemused expression. The smoothness of his gestures nearly uncanny, almost serpentine as he approached him and crouched to nearly eye level.

“Moi tsarevich, it’s an honor,” he’d said, too seriously.

Nikolai had only backed towards the door, unnerved.

“I assume you have very important business.”

He’d nodded. “I snuck a live lizard in tutor Mitkin’s lunch and now he’s very cross with me.”

“Hm, a noble endeavor. Stay out of my way and tutor Mitkin needn’t know where you’ve taken refuge for the moment.”

And then the Darkling had offered him cake.

It’s an odd memory he can’t quite reconcile with everything that came after. Far too ordinary.

Should I have poisoned you? I believe that’s your brother’s wheelhouse though.

“Insanity,” he tells Alina, moving to stand. He feels restless in this confined space. His skin itches, feels too tight, ill fitting and wrong. “Which would certainly be a very interesting way to start a reign.”

Alina lets him pace, watching him quietly. “The other options?”

“A very creative imagination. Rather unlikely, I would say.”

“And?”

“The Darkling has taken up residence in my mind. Somehow.”

“What’s it like?”

“It’s like he’s whispering in my ear. Like I can feel him, taking root inside me.” He still vividly remembers the shadows pouring down his throat. The strange wrenching feeling in those moments before he’d turned into the Darkling’s creature. “Unfortunately he fancies himself a conversationalist.”

“Oh. That sounds unpleasant.”

“It is.” He sits down beside her again. Feeling rather defeated and sorry for himself.

“Aleksander,” she whispers.

And the voice that answers is not his own. “My Alina.”

“I killed you,” she breathes. But she’s also drifting closer, like she wants to touch him— the Darkling, not Nikolai, he knows that— but is afraid to.

“And I’ll haunt you for it.”

Alina takes a shuddering breath. It looks like she might cry again.

He doesn’t expect her to kiss him. He barely feels it, though his body responds regardless, hungry, possessive. At least for now, the Darkling’s voice is blessedly silent.

#ideally I’d edit this but I’m too busy so woo hot mess version instead 💖 #I’ll get back to it one day… #grishaverse #shadow and bone #darklina #nikolina #alarkling #darknikolina #kind of? #nikolai lantsov #alina starkov #aleksander morovoza #the darkling #i ramble sometimes #a string of words #all the bendy punctuations #*writer’s cap* #silence

[ghostbc-headcanons]

I'm pretty sure you might not want to do this but may I request angst headcanons abt the Papas? Thank u <3

dear anonymous, i am literally the BIGGEST angst fan in the world. every fanfic i've ever written has been angst (not really but most of them) so i'm SO glad you sent this in and i hope i deliver only the best

PAPA I

when super stressed or upset, he goes nonverbal. these episodes used to be a looot shitter when he was younger cause they'd force him to speak and make things 10 times worse! (thankfully he has a better understanding of himself now, as well as those around him)

sometimes he gets bitter over the family line and his brothers executions of the role of papa. he knows he couldn't have performed forever, but it feels as though none of them take it as seriously as they should, with their glamorous outfits and silly stage antics.

got into gardening because he didn't know what to do with himself after passing the mic to secondo. he was locked in his room for weeks until an earth ghoul suggested the hobby to him. now it's one of the only things that keeps him grounded (pun not intended)

PAPA II

hates how angry he can get. usually there's a reason behind it, sure, but sometimes he's just so fucking pissed, he can't even remember why he was mad in the first place. it makes him feel disgusting.

wishes he was able to be more emotionally vulnerable but also feels he has a reputation to uphold. he has to be the strong one.

secretly never truly wanted to be papa. that's why he didn't give a single fuck during his papacy. if he was going to be papa, he was gonna have fun with it while he could!

PAPA III

while he is definitely the most naturally charismatic and extroverted of his brothers, he plays a lot of it up on stage. it's exhausting.

has undiagnosed ADHD which made things really tough when he was younger - the title of 'delinquent' stuck so he sort of rebelled as a result and embraced the so-called delinquency.

PETRIFIED of intimacy! he never really had healthy examples of relationships growing up so as a result he's like, really scared to get actually close to people. he's scared of them really getting to know him and realizing that he's not everything he's cracked up to be

PAPA IV/COPIA

has really bad anxiety, especially at night. at nighttime, the church just seems so big and empty and he gets paranoid!

do i smell an inferiority complex??? even now that he has the title of papa he constantly doubts himself. will never think he deserves it.

wishes he could have had real relationships with his brothers. he doesn't mean to but sometimes he resents sister for keeping this secret from him for so long. didn't he have the right to know? maybe if he did know, he wouldn't have felt so damn alone when he was a kid.

#i know i've written like only fluff on this blog so far but thats cause thats what most people are requesting!! #fluff is actually... not my strong suit LMAO #anyways i might be projecting on all of them. you'll never know. #also autistic primo real #ghost band #ghost #ghost bc #ghost the band #ghost bc headcanons #ghost headcanons #headcanons #angst #papa emeritus i #papa emeritus ii #papa emeritus iii #papa emeritus iv #cardinal copia #primo #secondo #terzo

[izzythehutt]

This is why we lie, Jesse!

Everyone talks about the (many) times that Walt lied to/consciously used the truth to manipulate Jesse over the course of Breaking Bad, but rarely do I see people discuss one of the few times he was completely honest with him—the scene where they discuss the buyout in 5x06, also titled "Buyout."

Just two men, separated by a sea of shadows and sage furniture

This scene gets somewhat overshadowed by the hilarious, awful dinner with Skyler that follows it, but I find it fascinating—particularly its placement at the tail-end of their partnership, an episode before they have the infamous Almost Final Breakup You Are Not Worth Five Million Bucks Fight.

This might be the scene where Walt is the most honest with Jesse about...almost anything.

There's no game here—it's just two people, with a complicated and close relationship, each trying to convince the other to do something they don't want to do. Walt decides in this case to just be candid about why he does not want to sell his share of the methylamine, presumably because he thinks Jesse will be understanding of his motives, maybe even sympathetic to him.

And given what happens, you can see why he defaults back to lies and manipulation.

Walter used honesty! It was super ineffective!

First of all, the fact that he invites Jesse to his home in the first place is a major change from the norm for them. You could chock it up to him subconsciously wanting to piss off his wife (which later happens), but there's a level of intimacy there. Walt has a very specific way of compartmentalizing his crime and civilian life, and part of that is keeping Jesse far, far away from the latter.

Maybe it's just because he's tired, or because he's drinking (was there ever a scene where Walt was honest on this show where him being drunk or drugged wasn't the cause?) but I honestly can't point to a single moment in this conversation that feels manipulative. For Walt it's vulnerable, a rather intimate admission of a weakness—he's kind of abrupt and rude, too, but Jesse knows him well enough to see that's way more honest for Mr. White than when he's being overly "nice"—being nice is exclusively for moments of manipulation or the product of guilt when it comes to their relationship.

And he really gets personal about his past, which is so not something he does in his relationship with Jesse. As far as we know the only other person he's ever confessed that he's been harboring these feelings about his departure from Gray Matter to is Gretchen (though in her case it was an accusation that he was cut out, in Jesse's case it's admitting he thinks he made the mistake which cost his children "their birthright.")

He is actually willing to admit to Jesse that he made a poor business decision in his youth that he's regretted ever since. He's willing to just put it out on the table and frame his desire to stay in the drug business as being about personal ambition (his own potential.)

The only thing he doesn't admit is the fact that his breakup with Gretchen is probably why he left the company, which could be the subject of a whole 'nother meta.

And how does Jesse respond to this candor, this honesty?

Jesse remembering fonder days of nearly strangling Mr. White to death in the RV

You can see the disillusionment happening in real time. The scales are falling from his eyes on-screen! Jesse really did take Walt's 'family man' motivations at face value, and to realize that his mentor's temperamental personality is actually a cope for his profound wounds and deep-seated resentment at his thwarted ambitions...I think it legit disturbs him.

Maybe for the first time, he really sees Walt for who he is—someone who wants money for his family after he's gone, that he could understand. Someone for whom "empire building" is so appealing in and of itself he doesn't care if people die or its built on an addictive drug that destroys lives? Uh....

This is one of the many things that separates them—Jesse just isn't naturally ambitious in the same way. Walt may have taught him to "apply himself", but the inherited perfectionist tendencies were really in service of gaining Walt's love and respect, not gratifying his own ego.

For Walt, being honest is presenting things in a way that he would find compelling, and he and Jesse are so wildly different (Jesse still has a conscience, for one thing) that he always has to consciously take advantage of their differences to get what he wants out of him.

Now this? This is a conscious manipulation. It's also an admission of something painful and deeply personal (the fact that Skyler told him she'll be happy when he's dead) but with the clear intent of, if not guilting poor soft Jesse who also knows what it's like to be rejected by your family into changing his mind about the buyout, at least making him feel bad about it. Because if there's one thing Walt is good at, it's punishing his loved one for not falling in line.

This makes Walt's desperate clinging to the relationship in the next episode even more tragic, because as fucked up as they are, this is probably the most emotionally intimate relationship he's got at this point. Sure, Jesse's horrified by him, but he's marginally less horrified by him than Skyler is!

#breaking bad #brba #breaking bad meta #walter white #jesse pinkman #skyler white

[gngaram]

hello, all! my name's ryan (h/h, 25+) and i'm so excited to be here! 💖 i sincerely look forward to interacting with all of you, meeting all of your muses, and having a grand ol' spooky time amongst all you other ghouls. 😈 speaking of which—i'd love to introduce you to a muse i've picked up, dusted off, and cleaned up real nice, so without further ado, meet chu garam! he's a scorpio stellium monster who was born and raised here in gaenari, and lemme tell you, he's hated every single moment of it. 💀 you can find out more below, and if you're interested in plotting with us, leave some love on this post! discord's best for me and available upon request, but dm's are cool, too. 😚

( * TW / mentions of abandonment, bullying, religious trauma, aggressive behavior, and other mature themes below. please read at your own discretion. )

I.

as mentioned above, he was born and raised in gaenari to a family well-known in the community. his parents are chu yongwoo and park haesook (npc's). they own a diner called chu's, which has been open for decades at this point. they're very religious, highly devout, conservative catholics, and they've been the bane of garam's existence ever since he was old enough to form his own opinions. he doesn't claim them and he curses their names. it's a touchy subject. as a kid, he defied them immensely, and they viewed him as a test sent to them fro god. they thought of him as difficult; badly behaved; overly aggressive; combative. he was their first child who kicked-and-screamed on his way to church, and it got to the point where they genuinely thought he was demon-possessed. thankfully they didn't try to perform an exorcist on him, but their relationship has been fucked up for as long as he can remember. he knows they won't change. the only person he loves in his family is his older sister, gayul. he'd kill for her. no one will hurt gayul as long as he's around. he'll ensure that. garam not only pushed back against his parents and their "dated beliefs," but he also was a terror in school. he got by because he doesn't mind the learning aspect of the education system, but he often felt like he was surrounded by conformists. he's always been rather "feminine" in appearance and mannerisms, and his interests were always out of the ordinary, so his peers were quick to point out these qualities about him and were often mean, and sometimes violent. this aided in turning him into a rather aggressive and assertive creature. he had to learn to fight back and stand up for himself, and he often did so by tearing people down with vicious words. did he get punched a few times because of it? yeah, but if you ask him, he's tough, and somehow always got his revenge in the end. after graduation, he moved out of his house, became a licensed nail technician / esthetician at the local vocational school, and now works at your friendly neighborhood salon giving people their claws. 💅🏼 he also does makeup! how did he pay for school, and how does he afford his own place downtown? word on the street is, he has an arrangement with a certain "benefactor" based in daehan, but you didn't hear that from me. 🤫 he'll never admit to it either, so. beware though. if you book a pedicure with him, he will talk shit about your feet and resent you. he only gives a fuck about his nail art and his makeup artistry. if you book one of those services with him, you'll see a more fun side, but he'll also learn all your secrets. 😈 he'll keep 'em locked up... unless you cross him.

II.

garam is magnetic. when he walks into a room, you know he's there. heads will turn, chills will glissade down your back, and you have no idea whether to be excited, or scared. despite a petite stature and sweet face, his overall vibe is rather imposing.

he has eyes that gaze deeply into your soul; his manner of speaking is expressive and overloaded with passion; his moods are infectious, no matter what they are. his intensity can make it hard for him to make friends, but those who are solid enough to handle his volatility and prove their loyalty to him will get the most devoted friend.

garam is always searching for answers and hidden meanings in everything. his mind is highly analytical, probing, and achingly curious. this is how he somehow knows too much information about everyone he comes into contact with. he studies people, and their habits, and is naturally a bit suspicious of everyone.

he is self-indulgent, and sensual, and seeks pleasure in all things. he'll never say no to good sex; he'll never say no to one more drink; he'll never say no to staying up all night if he's with a loved one. he really should practice more moderation, but that's not something he's concerned with at the moment.

there's an obsessiveness about him that's both a blessing and a curse. on one hand, it helps when it comes to hobbies, crafts, and his job. this trait allows him to hone in on something until he masters it.

on the other hand, however, it can make him a rather smothering lover. he's known to orbit around his boyfriends, and it doesn't help that he can be a rather possessive, and jealous, being, as well.

like all scorpio natives, garam feels emotions deeply; oversensitive. all of his feelings are dialed up to 100% at all times. he can be gentle one moment, then aggressive in the next—moody.

moreover, he often views everything in black and white. love or hate. heaven or hell. smart or stupid. there's no in-between, no gray area. it's an extreme way to live.

if he loves you, he'll love you fiercely. he'll protect you and have your back come hell, or high water. he's not above blood pacts either. he's into shit like that.

III.

for quick reference re: plots, garam was born in 2003; he was born and raised in gaenari; he identifies as homosexual; he works as a nail technician and makeup artist at a salon in town.

close friends that he hung out with in high school. i imagine he made pals with the local outcasts. he couldn't have been the only one. my thoughts are they'd ditch class a lot, and talk about how one day they were gonna set the school ablaze together. they probably still want to deep down, and who knows? maybe they will.

some of his past bullies that he still has bad blood with. he'll make it his personal goal to dismantle these people's lives, so watch out. he makes a formidable enemy. additionally, some of his past bullies that maybe he's made friends with now. they'd've had to really make it up to him, though. he's not one to forgive and forget.

regular clients of his at the salon. he does advanced nail art and even advertises them on his instagram. he prefers a spookier, gothic style, but he's happy to accommodate basically anyone that has a vision and trusts him to make it happen, and make it his own. that said, not everyone leaves his chair happy. he resents having to do pedicures and likely has talked shit about your muse's feet to their faces.

current flings, past flings, fwbs, ex-boyfriends, anything else related to the romance topic are also highly welcome and even encouraged. he's not someone that keeps his passions hidden, and he has no issue pursuing a man that piques his interest; even if it's just for a casual night out. he'd make a terrible ex, though. beware.

people who maybe know and love his parents/brothers, and who look down on him for being as vicious to them as he is. his parents are seen as saints in the community, his older brothers are considered success stories since they're all elsewhere and killing it, and garam highly contests this and verbalizes his disdain for them. give him someone to debate.

just... give me all types of plots, please. 🥺💖

#ㅤ( 𝓖 ) INTRO / #ㅤ( 𝓖 ) HAPPY BELATED BDAY GARAM! /

[multifanlol]

Hi Again I have another request if you don’t mind could you do a short little epilogue to the Yandere Calmity Trio for both endings you did. (example you could have the reader visit them in Jail and in the end the reader fully moves on) Thanks and I promise this’ll be the last Yandere request for a while sorry if I’m bothering you

Sure! And your not bothering me, i love these requests!

Tw: Mentions of drug use, Obsessive behaviours, overall yandere stuff

Yandere Calamity Trio x reader last part

Epilogue

Good ending

It’s been two months ever since the incident and lots has changed by lots you mean actually having freedom, seeing your family and having stable friendships although it definitely changed a lot for others too especially the girls and there families

For the girls they’ve been in prison for kidnapping and attempted murder although they didn’t get a life sentence due to them being minors (sadly this is real life-)

As for there families….they didn’t take it that well obviously

You visited the families with biggest apologies as you knew your child being a stalker or whatever is a lot to take in

You didn’t expect them to apologise to you though, although to you they didn’t need to apologise it’s not like they knew

Now you were standing outside the jail centre, a police officer assuming the chief went up to you with a hesitant look

“You don’t have to do this, you know?”

“I know i don’t but i think i should see them one last time before i fully move on”

He sighed then reluctantly let you in

“I’m just warning you, when others visit there past stalkers or some shit sometimes they mess with them mentally to let them out or something”

“I know how they are, i doubt they’d be able to damage me more then they already did”

You walked in front of three cells noticing three shadow figures

“Hi girls”

“Oh s/o! I knew you’d come ba-“

“I only came here to tell you that this will most likely be the last time you’ll ever see or hear from me”

“What? You, never see us again? Heh, don’t be like that s/o! We’re the only ever people you could ever count on-!”

“No i thought you we’re the only people i could count on, you were the last people that ever helped me”

“What are you talking about s/o? Those people outside must of brainwashed you, you’d never-“

“Just shut up! I know your trying to manipulate me I’m never letting that happen to me again i thought maybe you’d change but it appears your gonna be in jail for a while, goodbye…”

“N-No s/o wait just a second-“

You heard there voices get quieter as you went out of the building sighing

I mean, these we’re your childhood best friends, but they also had a toxic unhealthy obsession towards you, all your hoping is never having to deal with this again

Bad ending

It’s been a couple of months ever since you had a brain injury but you can’t get the thought that somethings wrong

I mean, you couldn’t remember anything these three girls that were screaming familiarity told you you were there’s and that you could never leave? You don’t know but you found some of that weird they told you it was normal

You don’t know why but whenever you’d see the girls a part of you felt some sort of resentment(?) or maybe panic towards them you don’t know what it was but you didn’t understand nor like it

Lately you’ve been getting bad headaches first they were minor now they’ve been coming more common you’ve told the girls but it’d respond to them giving you some weird drink that would make it even more painful

You decided to use the stuff you had and did some research

There were some books around the house(?) you lived in and researched on basic medication like headaches

You ended up discovering something called “insomnia” you were honestly starting to think you might of had it

Call you crazy but the other day you overheard them listening to the news and some girl that looked strangely similar to you on the news and missing?

With them not letting you leave?

It all came back

Maybe let’s say your not crazy, that you were drugged or had a bad injury and these girls might of held you hostage?

I mean it felt logical enough but with the girls constant praises of how much they love you made you feel like you were being crazy

Now you were pondering in your room locked with stuff like food waiting for them to come back

That’s weird they’d never let you roam around the house unless there here

I mean what do they think your gonna do? It’s like your a dog being locked in a room over a stranger coming incase the dog barks or something

So maybe coming to a conclusion they probably did kidnap you because former you rejected there “love” or something drugged you and left you here

You weren’t sure whether you were being crazy or not but you needed answers

There were only small windows in here to give you air and you figured maybe you could try fitting out of it then use one of Marcy’s zip line things and escape

You weren’t even sure if this was still right but you gotta try right?

You just gotta get out of this room somehow

You tried using your finger to pick the lock which somehow you thought would work but sadly didn’t

There were no pins around the room so you stared at your fists

You weren’t the strongest but you weren’t weak either so while this hurt a ton you kept on punching the door until it loosened enough

Luckily it wasn’t that strong i guess if your theory is correct the girls just never assumed you would try breaking it you could just go out the front door but one thing you knew was that it had an alarm that somehow notified them whenever you’d step foot near it

Probably made by Marcy

While you were gonna carefully go to Marcy’s room you heard something

“S/O?! What are you doing?”

“O-Oh your back early”

“Why are you outside your room?”

“Umm, i……why are you back early?”

“That wasn’t the question s/o”

You felt intimidated if your theory’s are true and your not being delusional they could kill your here and there

You sighed i guess it’s now or never

You shoved Marcy taking whatever you could grab which happened to be a axe and ran for the front door

“S/o stop! The outside world is dangerous!”

“W-Well how do i know your not lying to me?!”

“It’s us s/o, we care for you and love you, your gonna treat us like this?”

You felt yourself lowering the axe feeling feelings of hesitation

What if you are just being delusional?

“W-Well I’m sick of sitting in a room hiding…..that’s suspicious to me”

“You don’t understand s/o, the people out there….they want to do horrible things to you and us included! We’re trying to protect you!”

You didn’t know how to feel

“But of course in the end, we’re the bad guys aren’t we?”

After a few seconds you dropped the axe and stepped a few feet away from the door

“….I’m sorry for being stupid”

Anne then cautiously went up to you

“There there, those books you were reading must of got to your head, hear drink some of this and this time we promise it’ll all go away”

You looked then sighed

I guess you were wrong you are stupid after all and need them to depend on!

End

Andddd that’s all! Hope y’all liked it! Idk why but Sasha at the end saying “So now we’re the bad guy” gives me mega Mother Gothel vibes i can just see them singing this to y/n in the bad ending pls can someone draw this-

Hope you have a good day/night!

#character x reader #amphibia #amphibia x reader #yandere x reader #anne boonchuy #anne boonchuy x reader #marcy wu #sasha waybright #sasha waybright x reader #Yandere Sasha Waybright x reader #Marcy Wu x reader #Yandere Marcy wu x reader #Yandere Anne Boonchuy x reader #Yandere Amphibia

[archduchessofnowhere]

What was the opinion of the people who knew Empress Sissi? Thanks.

Hello anon! I’ll start by apologizing to you because it took me so long to answer not because this was a difficult question, but because it's easy to answer and this will turn ridiculously long since we have plenty of testimony of people who knew her.

Her husband emperor Franz Josef was probably her biggest admirer, and while I personally think their relationship is over-romanticed, that he deeply loved her is undeniable. He saw no fault in her and always called her his “angel”; and while he never understood her he did support her in (almost) all her projects. There are plenty of quotes that show his devotion towards his wife (even though his actions not always reflected that), but to me the most defining is one of the things that he allegedly said after hearing of Elisabeth's death: “Nobody will ever know how much I loved her”.

Archduchess Gisela’s feelings towards her mother remain a mystery, but we do have this letter she wrote after Elisabeth’s death that shows her grief, and I think is safe to say that she loved her, even if they weren't close. Rudolf 's feelings were more complicated. He loved his mother, in fact he idolized her, and felt deeply grateful towards her for having saved him from his abusive tutor. But he also longed for a closer relationship with her, which they never had, and this was a source of sorrow for him.

The child who's feeling we know the best is Valerie, who kept a diary throughout her life in which she often wrote about her mother. She loved Elisabeth, but she also found her love hard to bear, specially since she felt it kept her apart from her father, whom she also adored:

What I most wanted to do was fall at his feet and kiss his paternal imperial hands, even as I felt — God forgive me — a momentary anger at Mama since her unbridled love and exaggerated, groundless concern place me in such an embarrassing and false position.

After Rudolf's death Elisabeth fell into a deep depression, and Valerie felt the burden of being her mother's main emotional support.

My mother often causes me such anxiety. She is capable of everything great, yet incompetent in small things. Now that agitation has given place to the monotony of everyday life, and Papa at least appears outwardly the same and works as he always did, life seems to her oppressive and cheerless.

Elisabeth even said to her youngest daughter that she was the only reason why she still was alive, which greatly stressed Valerie, specially since her wedding was approaching. However, while deeply hurt, Elisabeth wanted nothing more than Valerie's happiness so she fully supported her decision to marry for love, and tried to bother her and her family as little as possible after she got married.

For all that’s been said about Archduchess Sophie disliking her daughter-in-law from the get-go, she in fact had nothing but praises for Sisi when the engagement was announced:

The little girl [Elisabeth]’s posture is so graceful, so modest, so irreproachable, so elegant, almost humble, when she dances with the emperor… She seemed to me so attractive, so childishly modest and yet completely at ease with him.

(...) But you can well imagine that my eyes are also busy looking at Sisi, and they rest with delight on this happy couple who love each other so much and in such a charming way; it is a feast for the eyes to see the happiness and harmony that radiates from them.

She also remarked many times how happy she felt, to the point of tears. While it’s true that Elisabeth later on remembered her mother-in-law with resentment, there's evidence to argue that the sentiment wasn't mutual, and that Sophie did felt love for her daughter-in-law, even if they clashed because of their differences.

Her ladies-in-waiting in general had a good relationship with her, some even forming real friendships with the empress. But they also found her hard to deal with, like one of her first ladies, Princess Helene of Thurn und Taxis, Countess Kinsky (not to be confused with Elisabeth’s sister Helene, Hereditary Princess of Thurn und Taxis). Princess Taxis wrote to a former lady-in-waiting when they returned to Vienna after Elisabeth’s flight to Madeira and Corfu in 1860:

I can only congratulate you, upon not having had to go through these two years of martyrdom with us. Now we are settled in Schönbrunn, and the thought that we are ‘settled for good somewhere’ seems quite strange. It was hard for her [Elisabeth] to give up her recent traveling about, and I quite understand this. When one has no inward peace, one imagines that it makes life easier to move about, and she has now grown too much accustomed to this. (…) I believe, indeed, that she has moments of despair, but nobody can laugh like her, or has such childlike whims. She says herself that it is not unpleasant to her to see us occasionally, but it is odious to her to have us in waiting…

The lady-in-waiting that left us the most “content” about the empress is Countess Maria Festetics, who entered her service in 1872 and became Elisabeth’s close confidant until the end of her life. Maria kept a detailed diary during her years in service, which is one of the main sources about the empress’ later life. In this diary she also wrote her impression’s on Elisabeth:

One never grows tired when one goes out with her. At her side it is delightful, and so it is behind her. Looking alone is enough. She is the embodiment of the idea of loveliness. At one time I will think that she is like a lily, then again like a swan, then I see a fairy-oh, no, a sprite-and finally-no! an empress! From the top of her head to the soles of her feet a royal woman!! In everything excellent and noble. And then I remember all the gossip, and I think there may be much envy in it. She is so enchantingly beautiful and charming.

But while the countess adored Elisabeth, she could be critical towards her too:

In ‘Her’ there is everything, but as in a disordered museum - pure treasures, which go unused. Nor does she know what to do with them.

Stephanie of Belgium also wrote a bit about her mother-in-law in her memoirs. This was her reaction when, according to her, Elisabeth asked her to replace her at fulfilling her official court duties:

Empress Elizabeth detested etiquette. She loved solitude, far from the pomp and ceremony of the Imperial Court. It was her purpose, she said, to withdraw from all such things. The duties of her official position had become slavery, a martyrdom! She had not, as a young girl, been educated for the high mission to which she was subsequently called. In her view, freedom was every one’s inalienable right! Her conception of life was a fairyland, free of all trouble and constraint.

The Viennese court took a dislikeness of Stephanie almost immediately, and Elisabeth was no exception. So the crown princess had her reasons to not have a very positive remembrance of her. According to Stephanie this is what happened when she spoke to Elisabeth after receiving the news of Rudolf's death:

At length I ventured to tell the Empress what, weeks before, I had tried to say to the Emperor. I spoke of Rudolf’s manner of life, his habits and customs, his associates, how completely his health had been disordered. The Empress, however, stubbornly closed her mind against these communications, and it was an additional distress to me to feel that she was turning away from me. In her eyes I was the guilty party. Though outwardly I remained calm, inwardly I was in a state of collapse.

From her extended family we have the very unreliable memoirs of Countess Marie Larisch, Elisabeth’s niece. She gives many long descriptions on how beautifully spellbinding she found her, but I'll just share this one:

She fascinated me and dominated my imagination, and, with her infinite tact, she gave me confidence in myself. Elizabeth was never then the Empress, she was the Aunt Cissi who seemed so understanding, and so completely in sympathy with me, that I would willingly have died for her.

This passage wrote many years after Larisch's fall out with the imperial family is likely an exaggeration, and yet I do believe that the young Baroness probably felt flattered for having the favor of her aunt and found her fascinating.

I could keep on but I'll leave it here since this post is already too long. I hope you found my answer helpful!

#empress elisabeth of austria #franz josef i of austria #archduchess marie valerie of austria #gisela of austria princess of bavaria #crown prince rudolf of austria #sophie of bavaria archduchess of austria #helene of thurn und taxis countess kinsky #countess maria festetics #marie von wallersee countess larisch #asks

[fallingyams]

A twisted wonderland fic??? From me???? Shocking. Oddly enough, I haven't written for this fandom even though I adore it, so I guess this is my first. Pardon any odd characterisation and all that.

*Spoilers for twst Book 6: Watchman of the Underworld*

-----

What it Means to Live

-----

Having a heart is... less than optimal.

It had been a lot easier back then, before any of this happened.

All he had to do was follow the programming that was built into him. It told him how to act and how to feel and how to best be Ortho Shroud, Idia's little brother.

Before the Island of Woe, there had been no room for questioning. No room for doubt.

No room for the odd bubble of illogical guilt wedged in his chest as he watched his brother work on his latest stroke of technomantic brilliance.

The silhouette of his brother's back teased at memories; memories that were and weren't his superimposed on each other until he couldn't tell where one ended and the next began.

Even with the wealth of databases and manuals and the world's most advanced AI system at his disposal, Ortho felt unequipped to make sense of his newfound emotions.

"Nii-san..." he didn't quite know how to broach the topic at all.

"Hmm? What is it, Ortho?" Sharply looking up, his eyes fell on Ortho sequestered in a corner of the room.

Ortho hadn't even been able to bring himself to fly over where he'd normally be eagerly peeking over his shoulder to watch his brother at work.

"Do you..." his logical systems were surely failing him, unable to find the words that he needed. "Do you ever wish that Ortho had come back instead of me?"

Because while he had been created in Ortho's stead, Idia had always made sure that he was set apart from his real brother.

He may have been given Ortho's memories and mannerisms, but it had never slipped his notice that he'd been programmed to call him "nii-san". A small detail, but surely a difference enough that Idia could always remember that it wasn't the real Ortho before him.

A technomantic humanoid; a mechanical replacement -

One who had accidentally grown a heart and soul.

And surely that stings; knowing that his brother could never return, having failed him again when he lost his chance to bring his brother back, and yet his robotic replacement had somehow gained a sentient soul.

He wonders if Idia resents the fact that Ortho's newfound life had come at the cost of his brother's soul?

"Huh? Whatd'ya mean by that, Ortho?"

They called it a miracle of technomantic engineering that he'd broken free of his programming.

But now, this change to his circuitry; this permanent bug in his system means that he'll never be able to be Idia's Ortho ever again.

He may look like Ortho Shroud, from his voice to his recreated wisps of hair, and he may possess some of Ortho's memories, but he's his own person now.

And he can't help but wonder if it would have been better if he could have had somehow switched places with the real Ortho so that his brother wouldn't have to be stuck with his replacement.

He hears Idia's question, but he has no idea how to articulate any of these thoughts swirling in his mind. (For someone with the most up-to-date language databases in the world, you'd think he'd be more eloquent than this.)

Idia's still looking at him with that puzzled tilt to his head, trying to figure out what he's trying to get at. And then like a plug snapping into a socket, his face lights up with understanding and a heart-wrenchingly soft grin worms its way onto his brother's face.

"Ortho did come back."

It's a smile reserved for the days when it's just the two of them. When they stay up late into the night waiting on a new game release together, when Idia collapses in bed after a week of all-nighters working on a new piece of technology and Ortho crawls in after him, or when they crack their heads trying to write an excuse for why Idia can't return for that family event that would involve him socialising with other big shots in the field of magical research.

It's a smile with soft eyes and sharp teeth that mirror the features on Ortho's face.

He may be built in Ortho's image, but... some of the memories with Idia are his too. His very own.

And when Idia awkwardly shuffles over to pat him on the head, the warmth of his brother's fingers seem to make him forget whatever it was that was plaguing him in the first place.

Maybe it doesn't matter whether he is or isn't Ortho Shroud.

Past or present, he's always been Idia's little brother.

"You came back, Ortho."

And maybe that's good enough.

Thank u for dropping by agsjdhdk I rly have no idea where this came from but I hope you enjoyed it?? I just couldn't help thinking that having non-programmed emotions and newfound sentience would come with the problem of like... learning to make sense of them idk

kthxbye.

#the yams are writing #my writing #twisted wonderland #ortho shroud #idia shroud #book 6 broke my heart ngl #i love these brothers #my heart hurts whenever i think of them #spoilers #spoilers for twst book 6 #twst

[lamortwrites]

3, 4, 5 and 6 for Labrys?

What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest skill? Is this accurate?

their combat prowess, for sure. which I think is a reasonably accurate assessment -- they're very intelligent, but they don't value that as highly as they should, which I'll touch on in the next answer. they value combat skills extremely highly: they are proficient in most weapons and several fighting styles, and it's extremely rare that they'd find themselves in a scenario in which they would feel like they'd be in any real danger.

What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest flaw? Is this accurate?

their own free will. Bhaal takes everything they have left on their eighteenth birthday -- their memories of their childhood, their newly sworn paladin oath, even their own name -- and yet he leaves them just enough free will to fail him, over and over and over again. weapons don't need a mind of their own, and yet they still have theirs, for all the good it does them. it would be easier if they surrendered to their urge. if they were a better child, a more worthy heir, they would be unquestioning in their loyalty. but they are too weak, too afraid, too selfish not to fight against the dissolution of their own sense of self, even as they know that this is what they should want.

of course, that's extremely inaccurate. I would say their greatest flaw is in fact their emotional immaturity -- they weren't socialised super well to begin with and didn't have many friends growing up, and even if they did they wouldn't remember it anyway. they're quite a...challenging, if not just straight up unpleasant, person to be around in general: they're selfish, and inconsiderate, and needlessly aggressive, they don't understand social cues, and they're too arrogant for their own good.

What opinion does your Dark Urge have about the Gods?

disdain. they don't care much about most of the gods -- either they're not worth the time it takes to think about them, or thinking about them is so distasteful that they don't do it unless they absolutely have to. there are a couple of notable exceptions to this:

number one is Ilmater. their stepmother, though they don't remember her, was a cleric of Ilmater, and after they were found amongst the slaughtered remains of their first family they were taken in briefly by the temple in Rivington before being shipped off to train as a paladin. their urge was still present during their childhood although not as strongly, and they felt a lot of guilt towards the thoughts and feelings they were taught were wrong and leaned very heavily on Ilmateri dogma. when they were sixteen they got his symbol tattooed on the back of their right hand as an ever present reminder (half as encouragement, half as a way to guilt themselves into behaving) and when they first arrived back in Baldur's gate they prayed relentlessly for him to come and save them. when he never answered their prayers they decided they were unforgivable, beyond salvation, and they swung very hard back in the opposite direction: if they were beyond saving, then they would be beyond saving. there's still a kernel of resentment, though, somewhere so deep down they can barely recognise it. they were so desperate to be saved and he refused to help them -- and as such, they favour Ilmateri victims where possible, partially out of childish spite, partially out of a cold hatred that is solely their own.

joint number two is the other two dead three. these, too, they hate, although it's a warmer hatred, something that belongs both to themselves and to their father. while fewer and further between, they once again enjoy killing followers of Bane or Myrkul more than any other victim whenever they find them. the only thing that stopped them from killing gort when he first got in contact was the fact that he was a god's chosen and they weren't -- and by the time their father did finally decide they were good enough to be his chosen, gort had had a full five years to worm his way under their skin.

How does your Dark Urge react to waking up with memory loss?

pretty well, all things considered -- they have more important things to worry about to begin with than whatever they may or may not remember, and Sceleritus shows up before they really have much of a chance to figure out who they might be without their father's influence. they're angry about not having access to their lost memories more than anything else, but that stems more from a sense of entitlement (perhaps the one time it's justified lol) than anything else.

#ty for the ask!! <3 #answered #mightymizora

[rockislandadultreads]

More Spooky Reading Recommendations!

How to Sell a Haunted House by Grady Hendrix

When Louise finds out her parents have died, she dreads going home. She doesn’t want to leave her daughter with her ex and fly to Charleston. She doesn’t want to deal with her family home, stuffed to the rafters with the remnants of her father’s academic career and her mother’s lifelong obsession with puppets and dolls. She doesn’t want to learn how to live without the two people who knew and loved her best in the world.

Most of all, she doesn’t want to deal with her brother, Mark, who never left their hometown, gets fired from one job after another, and resents her success. Unfortunately, she’ll need his help to get the house ready for sale because it’ll take more than some new paint on the walls and clearing out a lifetime of memories to get this place on the market.

But some houses don’t want to be sold, and their home has other plans for both of them...

Payback's a Witch by Lana Harper

Emmy Harlow is a witch but not a very powerful one - in part because she hasn't been home to the magical town of Thistle Grove in years. Her self-imposed exile has a lot to do with a complicated family history and a desire to forge her own way in the world, and only the very tiniest bit to do with Gareth Blackmoore, heir to the most powerful magical family in town and casual breaker of hearts and destroyer of dreams.

But when a spellcasting tournament that her family serves as arbiters for approaches, it turns out the pull of tradition (or the truly impressive parental guilt trip that comes with it) is strong enough to bring Emmy back. She's determined to do her familial duty; spend some quality time with her best friend, Linden Thorn; and get back to her real life in Chicago.

On her first night home, Emmy runs into Talia Avramov - an all-around badass adept in the darker magical arts - who is fresh off a bad breakup . . . with Gareth Blackmoore. Talia had let herself be charmed, only to discover that Gareth was also seeing Linden - unbeknownst to either of them. And now she and Linden want revenge. Only one question stands: Is Emmy in?

But most concerning of all: Why can't she stop thinking about the terrifyingly competent, devastatingly gorgeous, wickedly charming Talia Avramov?

This is the first volume of "The Witches of Thistle Grove" series.

The Secrets of Hartwood Hall by Katie Lumsden

Nobody ever goes to Hartwood Hall. Folks say it’s cursed…

It’s 1852 and Margaret Lennox, a young widow, attempts to escape the shadows of her past by taking a position as governess to an only child, Louis, at an isolated country house in the west of England.

But Margaret soon starts to feel that something isn’t quite right. There are strange figures in the dark, tensions between servants, and an abandoned east wing. Even stranger is the local gossip surrounding Mrs. Eversham, Louis’s widowed mother, who is deeply distrusted in the village.

Lonely and unsure whom to trust, Margaret finds distraction in a forbidden relationship with the gardener, Paul. But as Margaret’s history threatens to catch up with her, it isn’t long before she learns the truth behind the secrets of Hartwood Hall.

The Shadows by Alex North

You knew a teenager like Charlie Crabtree. A dark imagination, a sinister smile - always on the outside of the group. Some part of you suspected he might be capable of doing something awful. Twenty-five years ago, Crabtree did just that, committing a murder so shocking that it’s attracted that strange kind of infamy that only exists on the darkest corners of the internet - and inspired more than one copycat.

Paul Adams remembers the case all too well: Crabtree - and his victim - were Paul’s friends. Paul has slowly put his life back together. But now his mother, old and suffering from dementia, has taken a turn for the worse. Though every inch of him resists, it is time to come home.

It's not long before things start to go wrong. Paul learns that Detective Amanda Beck is investigating another copycat that has struck in the nearby town of Featherbank. His mother is distressed, insistent that there's something in the house. And someone is following him. Which reminds him of the most unsettling thing about that awful day twenty-five years ago. It wasn't just the murder.

It was the fact that afterward, Charlie Crabtree was never seen again.

#spooky reads #fall reading #fiction #reading recommendations #reading recs #book recommendations #book recs #library books #tbr #tbr pile #to read #booklr #book tumblr #book blog #library blog #readers advisory

[snifflesthemouse]

Here's the thing about a narc. They will do whatever necessary to keep relevant. They don't usually go quietly in the night.

so... If she can't use her husband's titles and links to the BRF to make more money... why even have them?

Why even bother with the entire nonsense, then, if his titles and links to the BRF yield zilch?

Her husband is playing polo over in a non-polo playing country, clinging to anything and everything that resembles his old life. Eventually, the bitterness will take over. Eventually, Harry's resentment for her, and vice versa, will be too much.

Eventually, near soon I suspect, his antics won't be worth the value of his title. Her tricks won't be worth his sacrifices. He will go willingly back to the Royal fold. Eventually, he will be a divorcee that supports his brother much like his grandmother's sister did his grandmother.

Why?

Because she will realize he used her, too. Narcs usually assume they are being the user. Sometimes, they get so wrapped up and distracted (usually when everything is falling apart) that they forget to do the usual rounds of maintaining the status quo. She will get so consumed with her star ever growing dimmer, that she will forget the home fire ran out of logs long ago. And it's showing now.

Why else is there literally zero pictures with Harry and his children of late? Because, regardless of how you feel about those kids, Harry is absent.

But then again, like my husband said... if those kids were real, wouldn't she be taking snaps left and right to tie them to the Queen before it's too late?

What, to them, would be more valuable than solidifying every link to the BRF as possible? Remember, Harry and his grandmother are close. So... why only 15 minutes and zero pictures? Because Harry lied to his wife about how important he was, and his wife lied to him about how important they could be. That's why we're here now. Because nobody could find a role they were willing to fill as a supporter. We have two of the same people doing the same stuff, albeit maybe in different ways. When you see one, you see the other.

Remember that when it comes to Meghan and Harry. Give him no sympathy. He is counting on that for his next bold move.

I won't be surprised if a separation comes sooner rather later. She is miserable, and she's seeing the misery isn't worth the cost. He's too polite to leave first publicly, though. He'll make it out to be her. But it will be him. It has always been him. She isn't a saint, or innocent, either.

But I assume they're on a rocky spot. Otherwise, he'd have made her stay for the Pageant so his kids could be part of history. What a lost opportunity for his children to get to know his family!

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

If the creative team for the Loki show had really wanted to do something bold, unusual and out of the box, they could’ve just made Loki the protagonist. I mean, the real protagonist. They could’ve allowed Loki’s thoughts, his feelings and his perspective to finally come to the forefront and finally be treated as important and to finally matter. They could’ve made the show sympathetic towards him. They could’ve delved in so deep, explored so many things. But they couldn’t even do that. Because they didn’t want to.

It makes sense if you think about it. Did we honestly think that they would devote a whole series to the one character that they enjoy killing over and over and over? The one character that writers and directors alike have openly admitted to resenting and hating? The one character that you’re supposed to “love to hate and hate to love” because either way hate MUST be a part of that equation because those are the only 2 appropriate, acceptable, normal and sane choices you’re given as to how to feel about him? I don’t know why we expected anything else.

I just keep thinking about something someone said, and I can’t remember who it was. But they said that this show is “a love letter to Loki fans” and I just can’t get over that. Are they f**** serious?? They spend the entirety of 6 episodes going out of their way to show us what a spoiled, weak, whiny, incompetent, pathetic, narcissistic piece of shit he is who couldn’t lie, manipulate, silvertongue, trick, magic or mischief his way out of a paper bag with a hole in the bottom. Whose family gave him sO MucH LoVe and it just wasn’t enough for him because he’s such a greedy, selfish power-hungry evil rotten no-good bad seed. This show actually had me wondering what I ever saw in him. Wondering if he really was nothing but a stabby McBackstabber all this time and I was just blind to it somehow. Was he really always this empty, this shallow and I just never saw it?

I feel you honey and understand your frustration, I think we all share it. I wondered the same thing myself at the end of the series, especially because everywhere I looked people seemed to love it, love him, and it was so confusing. Up until I came here last year I had a phase where I stopped liking him altogether and it took some time, and seeing the many wonderful takes in this site, to feel my brain start functioning again and going back to him. I gotta admit though it's not the same anymore with him, I still like him but... it's not the same.

The series is not a love letter to his fans, it's a love letter to his haters, the fans who never made the effort to understand him or see anything in him besides "evil guy who wants a throne". Marvel stripped him of his complexity and turned him into the most palatable character they could think of and of course they gave the haters what they wanted: he's evil, he wants the throne, people treat him like crap, plus a bunch of time travel bullshit and alternate timelines to make it seem like the series has a plot.

I suppose you're right and we should have expected them to do this but you know what they say about hope, it's the last thing you lose... 🤦

[peterjakes]

Sam x Grizz - ‘I have, as it were, my own sun and moon and stars, and a little world all to myself’

Grizz and Sam baby sit Eden, Sam works on Grizz opening up. 

Once again I started this like two years ago and only just got around too finishing. Not so sure on this one but let me know.

enjoy! x

also posted on ao3;

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42291975

Sam was leaning against the doorframe of Becca’s room, smiling from ear to ear. His eyes were lit up, watching the boy across the room. Sam couldn’t believe this scene was real, he couldn’t believe that this was his life. Grizz was swaying Eden about, bobbing her up and down ever so slightly. She was cooing slightly, but only loud enough for Grizz to hear. Sam had agreed to babysit Eden whilst Becca was visiting Kelly. He wasn’t sure for what, the two of them had gotten closer the past few weeks. Becca wouldn’t tell Sam, like so many things, but Sam didn’t want to probe or push. Luckily for him, the absence of Becca meant that Sam would be able to witness this sight. Eden being cradled in Grizz’s arms, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Sam had been watching the two of them for a while, Grizz unaware that he was being watched. He didn’t want to disturb them, not quite yet.

“You’re good with her, better than me.” Sam started to move towards the two, almost tiptoeing towards his boyfriend. Grizz turned around slowly, giving Sam a small smile.

“I doubt that Sam.” Shaking his head, Grizz turned his attention back to Eden.

“I’m serious. She loves you.” Sam signed this, putting emphasis on the sign for ‘love’.

“Maybe she just has good taste.” Grizz shrugged, before checking Eden was settled and placed her back into her cot. He watched her for a moment until she was still again and turned back to Sam leading him to perch on the edge of Becca’s bed.

“You had any practice?” Sam signed this quickly, knowing that Grizz would have no trouble understanding him. His sign language had got so good recently, Sam wouldn’t be surprised if he was better than he was now.

“Pfft, no!” Shaking his head, Grizz stretched himself out, clearly feeling a little tired from the babysitting. Before New Ham, babies weren’t even on Grizz’s radar. Before Sam, they weren’t on his radar. Sam had changed him. Not for good but not for bad either.

“You...urm, your parents didn’t want any more kids?” Sam’s childhood wasn’t exactly easy, having Campbell as an older brother made sure of that. Sam could barely remember a time when they did get a long, Campbell always seemed resentful of Sam. He hated him, that was plain as day. But it wasn’t like he had a terrible childhood. His parents loved him, always tried their best, supported him – even if they did ignore a lot of the signs from Campbell. Maybe it was jealously with Campbell, he was the oldest and then Sam came along, took away all of the attention. It was worse when Sam lost his hearing, even more attention was given to Sam. Attention that was taken away from Campbell.

“Wha-I guess, yeah. I think my mum would have liked one. But…I was fine on my own. It was easier not to I guess.” Grizz never really thought about having siblings, maybe he wouldn’t have mind a brother or sister but that wasn’t really on his radar. What he said was right though, it was just easier only being Grizz. Maybe his mum would have liked some more kids though, she was so good with kids. But with Grizz’s dad? Grizz couldn’t think of anything worse.

“You dad.” Sam nodded, understanding why Grizz never had any siblings. It was safe to say that Grizz’s dad wouldn’t have welcomed another addition to their little family. Thinking about Grizz’s childhood upset Sam, even without knowing the whole truth. It made him realise how lucky he was with his parents. They were a constant support, always there for him, as much as they could be. Maybe they should have done more for Campbell. Maybe they should have done. But there was no point wallowing over it now. They were gone and Sam just had to do better for Eden.

“Yeah, my dad.” Grizz repeated, avoiding Sam’s eyes. He clearly didn’t want to think about that any longer than he needed to. Maybe Sam shouldn’t have mentioned it, maybe it was still quite raw. Grizz didn’t really speak about his family, especially his dad. Sam had thought they’d reached a point where they could be completely honest with each other. But maybe some things were just too hard to talk about. Sam had to understand that.

Sam thought for a moment, he wondered whether he should steer the conversation in a certain direction. He knew he probably wouldn’t have another chance, especially as any time he had tried to mention it, Grizz had managed to avoid the question and change the subject. “I guess you could say you already had brothers.”

“Sam?” Looking quite bewildered, Grizz turned to Sam trying to gage what he was saying. Maybe it was a bit of stretch, Sam thought afterwards, but he had to try, right?

“Like Luke…” There, he’d done it. Sam wasn’t scared of what Grizz’s reaction might be, but he was wary of upsetting him. He didn’t want to upset Grizz, he never wanted to hurt him again, especially after last time. But this was important, and they needed to talk about it.

“Sam, not this again.” Grizz sighed, crossing his legs. He was tired of Sam trying to mention Luke in almost every conversation they had. He didn’t want to talk about Luke, he didn’t want to think about Luke. It was easier just to ignore it all, be in his own little bubble with Sam. That’s what he wanted. Although he doubted, he would be able to ignore it all for much longer. Things were getting worse. And it probably wasn’t going to stop there.

“Grizz, just listen-“

“No!” Grizz shouted out louder than he had expected, surprising himself. Eden, who had been completely silent up until this point, started to cry quite loudly. Realising what he had done, Grizz rushed over to Eden’s cot before Sam had even realised that Eden had woken up. “Oh shit, sshh shh.” Cradling her so delicately, Grizz managed to quiet her down, although Sam doubted Eden would go back to sleep now. “I shouldn’t swear in front of her, should I?”

Sam shrugged, walking over to where Grizz was holding Eden, desperately trying to get her back to sleep. “She doesn’t understand you.” it was true, he doubted Eden understood a word anyone said. Becca had started to attempt to teach Eden simple words or even sounds but hadn’t been successful yet. They’d get there eventually, but for now it was easier for Eden to just make those strange sounds. She was still only a few months old. Sam had read in one of the baby books Gordie had found for him after Eden had been born, that babies start to talk around ten months old, so there was still time. There was just a little nagging feeling at the back of Sam’s brain that for some reason Eden wouldn’t talk.

“You gonna teach her to sign?” Still cradling Eden, bobbing her up and down, Grizz looked directly at Sam when he spoke, knowing he couldn’t sign whilst holding Eden. Grizz had been trying his best to sign more than talk with Sam, which Sam had appreciated but he hadn’t expected it. Grizz enjoyed learning ASL, he wished he had done it sooner.

“It’s a bit early for that, she hasn’t even said her first word yet.” Sam moved to play with Eden, now cooing quietly, she grabbed his index finger with her tiny hand, squeezing it. He sometimes forgot how tiny she really was, she was growing every day, that was true, but she was still so small. So delicate.

“I know what it’s gonna be.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Grizz, obviously.” Grizz couldn’t help but give Sam a cheesey grin, to which the boy beside him shook his head. He loved it when Sam did that, when he almost managed to not smile or laugh at Grizz. He was pretty good at it most of the time, but sometimes he let it slip.

“How so?”

“You said she loves me. So I figure, if I just keep repeating my name, it’ll go in her head.”

“Think it’ll work?”

“Yeah. That, or I guess I’ll just keep you around. You say my name enough.”

“You’re an idiot.” Sam didn’t smile at Grizz this time, but that little twinkle in his eye that always appeared whenever he was around Grizz decided to make an appearance. He just couldn’t help it. Sometimes Sam wondered what he had done to ever be this happy. It odd, when he thought back to when the fear and worry was rampant throughout New Ham. That seemed like another world, another century, just so far away. Not that there wasn’t still fear and worry, but not so much for Sam. Not in this moment.

“But you love it.” Grizz mused as he placed Eden back in her crib once again. This time, Sam was sure she wouldn’t wake back up. She was too settled now.

“Maybe.” Sam shrugged, giving Grizz a devilish smile. “See, she never goes down that quickly with me.”

“Well-“

“It’s like she knows.” Sam avoided Grizz eyes when these words escaped his mouth. He was just thinking aloud, really. But this had been in his mind for a while. Clearly, she didn’t know, Eden was just a baby. But that self-doubt, that feeling of a lie, Sam just couldn’t shake it.

“What do you mean?” Confused, Grizz shook his head, not understanding. Sam raised his eyebrows at Grizz, waiting for the pin to drop. It soon did, to which Grizz, clearly embarrassed, started to go red. “Oh.” He hadn’t thought about Eden’s parentage much, but thinking about it in that moment, he supposed it had been on Sam’s mind constantly. Grizz couldn’t really imagine how he’d react. He didn’t know if he would have made the same choices as Sam, but he couldn’t judge him for it.

“Yeah.” Sam nodded slowly, he thought it was obvious what he was trying to say. It wasn’t as if he had bored Grizz to death with his tales of woes, but Grizz knew Sam wasn’t her dad. He must have had some idea what Sam was feeling, what was going through his mind.

“She’s a baby, Sam. And that doesn’t matter. You’re her dad, in every other way, right?”

“I don’t know…”

Knowing it wouldn’t be a good idea to keeping going over this, Grizz quickly changed the subject. “Becca still hasn’t told you?” Grizz realised the question seemed a little more intrusive than he meant it to be. He couldn’t blame Becca for not wanting anyone to know; teenage moms always got judged and that wasn’t fair. But he understood how hard it was for Sam, too. Becoming a father to a kid whose father could be living just across the street.

“I don’t want to know. That’s her business. But…” It wasn’t fair for Sam to probe or push Becca. He had to no right to do that. He couldn’t demand to know, and he didn’t want to do that. If Becca was going to tell Sam, she would, and only when she was ready.

“I get it.”

“It’s stupid, it’s selfish.”

“No…Sam, you’re not either of those things.” Grizz would never have described Sam using either of those words, quite the opposite. “I don’t think that. Becca doesn’t nor does Eden.”

That made Sam smile, rolling his eyes at how giddy he felt whenever he was in Grizz’s company. Grizz could always make things seem better, whenever Sam was feeling down. It would probably take some more time for Sam to really believe what Grizz was saying. But he appreciated it. He appreciated him. His boyfriend. That word, it still seemed strange that Sam had a boyfriend. That his boyfriend was Grizz. Sam moved to give Grizz a small peck on the lips, not expecting anything in return. He just wanted Grizz to know how important he was to him, how much he appreciated him. No, not appreciated him. He did, he loved him. He loved Grizz.

“I saw, Helena, yesterday.”

“Sam…” This time, Grizz didn’t shout, he didn’t raise his voice. He spoke softly and signed Sam’s name slowly. Maybe he was tired of Sam constantly bringing the situation up or maybe he was coming round to the idea.

“She wasn’t too happy, she’s been struggling.” Sam took this as a good sign and carried on, not wanting to waste the moment. Now, this wasn’t a lie. Sam had seen Helena. He saw her only a few days ago when Sam had taken himself for a walk. Becca was making lunch for Eden and Sam saw it as a good opportunity to get some air and some space. The past few weeks had been a lot and Sam just needed some time alone. He was walking up near Helena’s house when he saw her, outside, sitting on her porch. It was true that she didn’t look too good, she had clearly been crying. They only spoke for a few minutes, but that was enough time for Sam to know he needed to persuade Grizz. Grizz was the answer.

“So has Luke.” Grizz huffed, as if he was ready to argue but didn’t say or do anything. He just listened. “I know you don’t want to talk about it, but you should talk to him.”

“Why should I? He hasn’t come to me.” Grizz looked hurt, it was clear to Sam that they couldn’t ignore what had happened forever. It was clear to Sam that Grizz was struggling, hurting because of everything. It wasn’t fair on Grizz, it wasn’t fair on Sam or even Luke. Something had to be done. Grizz, who was now completely avoiding Sam’s eye and fiddling with his loose shoelace, was clearly angry about the situation. Maybe he was angry at Sam for constantly mentioning it, but if Sam didn’t, it would never be solved.

“It’s stupid and you know it. Don’t do something you’ll regret.” Sam hadn’t meant to sound so harsh, but the sentiment was there. What Luke had done was shitty, it was awful, but this couldn’t go on forever. For the sake of everyone. “Please. You know it’s right.” Sam was pleading with Grizz now, and he couldn’t ignore that. He knew that.

“Okay, okay, You don’t need to beg, Sam. I get it.”

“You can stubborn when you want to be.”

“And you can be persistent when you want.” Grizz laughed, a genuine laugh. Sam loved it when he laughed, when his face lit up, when he smiled. But it didn’t last long, his smile soon turned into a frown.  “But I can’t, Sam. I can’t do it.”

“Why?”

A cry escaped from Eden’s cot, Grizz noticed and started to move. “I thought she’d stay asleep.”

Sighing and wishing she could have stayed quiet for even a minute more. “I’ll go.” Sam moves over to comfort her before Grizz could avoid this conversation any more than he was trying to.

“You should be the bigger person. You’re not talking to him now; you’re avoiding him and almost everyone else apart from us. What do you have to lose?” Sam signed this before picking Eden up, cradling her slowly in his arms. Grizz was way better than Sam at this, it just came naturally to him. For Sam, not so much.

Grizz didn’t want to argue with Sam, not anymore. He knew Sam was right, even if he didn’t quite want to admit it. And he missed Luke, he could say that at least. Things weren’t the same without him. He was still angry, still confused. He didn’t like to think about what had happened. But the more time passed, the less he could ignore it. “Okay, okay… fine. I’ll talk to him.”

“Now?”

“Well, not now. I’m doing a very important job.” Grizz slowly walked up to the two standing by the crib. He loved to watch Sam with Eden. He knew Sam found it hard sometimes, he understood the importance and responsibility but also the burden. Not that Sam would ever truly admit that, not even to Grizz.

“Oh, and what’s that?”

“Becoming Eden’s favourite person.” Grizz moved his hand to delicately stroke Eden’s cheek, a little hiccup appeared from her mouth which made both Sam and Grizz smile.

“Okay, but after, yes?” Sam moved back, Eden still in his arms, giving Grizz a meaningful look. He trusted Grizz, he’d trust Grizz with anything, but he just needed to hear him to say the words.

“Yes, Sam, after. I promise.” Grizz gave Sam a small smile, one that meant so much more than the two realised. Sam had Grizz wrapped around his little finger, but that didn’t bother Grizz one bit. Not at all.

#the society #sam x grizz #grizzam #grizz x sam #the society fic #the society fanfic #the society fanfiction #grizzam fic #grizzam fanfic #grizzam fanfiction #mine #my writing #I have as it were my own sun and moon and stars and a little world all to myself

[fanfic-inator795]

Adore your writing! Any thoughts on what you think Sho and Yoshi's relationship was like (at any point in time)? How they viewed one another?

Aww, thanks so much! ^v^

Honestly, I feel like it was always kinda complicated. They never completely resented each other, but they were both pretty stubborn in addition to having different priorities that just weren't compatible with each other.

It's obvious that Yoshi's trauma regarding his mother played a huge role in how he saw his family/clan as well as the duty forced upon him. Beyond the general immaturity of a teenager/inability to see the Big Picture, it's hard to truly believe in the 'greater good' when all it's brought you is pain - and if someone only felt like the next link in a chain, only born and trained so they could give their life for 'the mission' or to 'save the world from some boogeyman', it wouldn't surprise me at all if they ended up pushing HARD against that, wanting to not only stand out as their own person but to also just find their own happiness if they felt like their own family didn't care about that. As far as Yoshi knew, Sho barely cared about him and only saw him as another clan member who needed to be molded into what the world needed, regardless of what Yoshi needed to sacrifice to be it.

At the same time though, we know that Yoshi regretted his mistakes - he regretted not giving his grandfather a proper goodbye back when he was still Lou Jitsu, and he regretted not doing his part in defeating the Foot/Shredder once he realized that he inadvertently put his sons in danger. That's something I feel a lot of people forget - once he realized that the danger WAS real and not just an old myth that had no basis to believe in, Splinter IMMEDIATELY stepped up. So, perhaps if Sho had been able to understand where younger!Yoshi was coming from (i.e. incorrectly believing that any sacrifice would've been for nothing) and show a bit more sympathy instead of just scolding or nagging him, maybe things could've turned out differently.

BUT, at the same time, I also can't completely blame Sho for how he handled things. Yes, he absolutely could've been more empathetic and a bit more flexible, but at the same time - Sho was at the end of his life. He KNEW what would happen if he died and Yoshi wasn't properly prepared for the Foot's return - it would literally be the end of the world. From that perspective, I can see why he was so stubborn about getting Yoshi to listen to him, as well as why he didn't see much value in Yoshi's acting - because, yeah, when compared to the safety of the world, he would just be seen as something silly and without value (even though there obviously WAS value). As far as Sho knew, they BOTH failed in their duties and the world was going to pay the price for it. Makes sense that he'd be more than a little bitter about that.

We also have to remember that Sho likely grew up in a time where he was taught traditional, group-focused values while Yoshi was exposed to more modern, individual-focused values. So yeah, between the clashing perspectives/different priorities, the trauma that Yoshi suffered, Sho not knowing any other way to prevent the end of the world, and just a boat-load of miscommunication and misconceptions, it just resulted in a lot of resentment and hurt.

...But I don't think they ever hated each other. Far from it, in fact. I mean, Yoshi wouldn't have cried over Sho's final goodbye if he did hate him. But, unfortunately for the two of them, Yoshi's story is very much 'tragedy with a happy ending', and just given the circumstances, I'm just not sure if it'd be possible for them to reconcile until after the fact - after the Shredder has been defeated for good, after Splinter has gained some additional perspective, and after Sho is able to risk being a bit more flexible and a bit more emotionally available.