#he'd use vodka for a toast because he's just like me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

futurecorps3 · 1 year

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Hiii, could you write a nikokai fic where reader is like in love with kaz but he doesn't really pay attention to her. And then the crows meet sturmhond because of a heist and he takes interest in the reader form the first moment he sae her and makes her fall in love with him. And then whatever you want lol. Maybe kaz being jealous idk.

Sorry for any grammatical mistake, english it's not my first language.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞

Masterlist<3

Summary: After years of being in love with the one and only Kaz Brekker, breaking her own heart, Y/N meets someone else... Pairing: Sturmhond x fem!inferni!reader, Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

Warnings: The usual crow violence, DRINKING, jealous Kaz, mean Kaz, "unrequited" love for a little while, Matthias is alive and well like in the books duh but this is ofc before Nikolai becomes king, idc I just want my Fjerdan hunk happy in Ketterdam, curse words, kind of a messy timeline. HURT AND NO COMFORT. Lmk if I missed any.

Word Count: 2.9K!! Requested: Yes

A/N: IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! :( I've been looking forward to getting to this specific request because oh my god, also, I changed it up a little; making Kaz actually be in love with reader but never really trying anything. Tysm for requesting love! Hope you enjoy :)

˚ · • . °

Exhaustion. That's what she felt, and to be honest, it was even more frustrating when Y/N knew she was doing it to herself. Those persistent yet futile attempts at reading Kaz's silence or gaze as something else; a love message, a confession of his sins, any sign of vulnerability reserved for her. However, these attempts, though fervent, ultimately proved fruitless.

How could she confirm what she thought she saw if, after, say, he appeared distressed at her being in danger or fumed when some dick was being extra disgusting at the bar that night; he went back to being his usual cold self?

When she finally obtained concrete evidence that disproved her misconceptions ("Jesper, she prefers black coffee" or "Y/N, could you join me in my office for a moment?" simply to spend time together in quietude), he strategically distanced himself throughout the week, transforming those precious moments of tranquility and companionship into ordinary occurrences, leading her to, somehow, misunderstand them.

Another shot of vodka and the pain her thoughts evoked was replaced by the burning, bitter sensation in her tongue and throat. "A hangover won't make Kaz let you stay behind tomorrow, you know that?" Matthias smiled next to her.

Since he joined the crows, the Fjerdan had taken a special liking to his girlfriend's best friend; she was funny, kind hearted and could keep up his pace in drinking games. Nina couldn't be happier to see her loves get along so well, saying it's her dream come true. "Oh don't even start, Matthias" Y/N answered, feigning annoyance as she poured more of the burning liquid into her glass and pulled out another for her friend.

They silently toasted to nothing in particular and chatted about their books as they usually did. Matthias' romance novel had an interesting love triangle Y/N was eager to read when he was finished. From how he talked about it, the girl knew it was just her type of story. They were in the middle of a playful argument about a plot-hole Y/N thought she found when Kaz approached them.

His usual demeanor seemed a bit... shaken. If you asked the blonde, he'd say he only looked more agitated, but Y/N/N knew better; his hair was covering his forehead slightly, but he wasn't brushing it back. The limp was prominent still, yet he wasn't using his cane. Kaz was in a rush to get to her, maybe?.

"One of your fellow countrymen is starting a turmoil outside, doesn't speak Kerch. Will you please, for the tree's sake, go and talk some sense into his thick blonde skull?" Saints, why did she like him so much? Even like that, Y/N thought he looked rather divine. Matthias stood up from his seat and directed himself to the entrance.

"Since when do you care for what happens outside that door?" She asked with a grin, genuinely curious. "I wouldn't if he wasn't scaring off the pigeons. No wealthy tourist will endure the trouble that some drunk Fjerdan means just to get inside a place full of people that'll take his money" the boy explained, looking down at her.

Kaz's complexion, kissed by the soft glow of the candles, is pale yet flawless, as if untouched by the harshness of the world he inhabits. His sharp, well-defined features give him an air of enigmatic sophistication, further heightened by the way the light dances upon his cheekbones, emphasizing their elegant structure.

Y/N realizes she's staring. She looks away.

The bastard smirks. "Finding something intriguing, are we?" And oh, she wanted to stab him to see if that would wipe the stupid grin he carried. "Oh, please, Kaz. You give yourself too much credit. I was merely lost in thought, contemplating the mysteries of the world. Your face happened to be in the line of sight, that's all."

Quick, sarcastic answer, as if the seconds between her silence confirmed even further what he was saying. He scoffed, drinking the remains of alcohol on Matthias' glass and fixed his hair in the process. "Stop drinking, a hangover won't spare you from our meeting tomorrow".

˚ · • . °

She should've listened. The crashing waves outside only intensified the discomfort, while the salty breeze seemed to carry a tinge of regret. Even the beauty of the sea she was now too used to felt distant and inaccessible, overshadowed by the haze of her post-indulgence remorse.

Nina, taunting Matthias with a mature Ravkan song and Jesper shooting bottles in the warehouse, created an uneasy atmosphere for hungover Y/N. This unsettling environment made it difficult for her to focus on evaluating any potential deals they were to discuss with the privateer Kaz said they were meeting that day. Also, they had been waiting for over an fifteen minutes now! She was surprised Kaz was waiting still.

He checked his pocket watch subtly, sighing at the tardiness of their Ravkan guests. Then, he looked over at Y/N. Even with those deep baggy eyes and with her head on her hands in exasperation, she managed to awaken that odd feeling in his chest. He hated it. No, he despised it.

If he ever accepted that he was down hard for the girl, he could also get over the fact that she, too, liked him. Well, he wasn't dumb! There was no denying that Y/N's actions warmed his heart. He just knew loving was a dangerous thing to do, a weakness he couldn't afford after spending years building a reputation in Ketterdam.

Then came a loud bang on the heave wooden doors of the warehouse. "Fucking finally" Y/N sighed, going to open the door herself before anyone would, wanting nothing but to end this as soon as possible so she could go back home to sleep. She grabbed the handle and pulled, the bright light outside blinding her momentarily before seeing the privateer and his crew.

"Hello gorgeous! Here to see Mr. Brekker. I'm guessing you're one of his associates?" A sharp, slightly deep voice greeted. The girl shielded her eyes from the light and found captain smily offering his hand out. In Ketterdam, rumours ran as quick as blood on pavement; Sturmhond knew that. He needed no introduction. Every person involved in not so legal activities who didn't live under a rock had heard at least once about the dog of the sea.

She took it, shaking gently. "Y/N Y/L/N, but if you prefer nicknames, call me Haepha". Then she stepped aside, pretending not to notice the smirk on Sturmhond's face so his partners could come in. The rumors hadn't done justice to his captivating presence.

The charismatic privateer stood tall, his dark hair falling in unruly waves that added to his allure. His piercing blue eyes seemed to hold a world of secrets, and a mischievous smile played across his lips. Dressed in opulent garments that exuded confidence and flair, Sturmhond commanded attention with every step as his crew and he approached the rest of the crows.

"I'll stick to your name for now doll, too pretty not to use," And the bastard winked at Y/N, making a Shu girl who was walking behind him with the same confidence giggle. The worst thing about pretty men is they know they're pretty, and knew damn well how to get away with being cocky. She knew his type, so she brushed the wink off and walked towards her friends.

Kaz and Sturmhond shook hands. Everyone who was fast enough grabbed a seat in old boxes or even on the floor. Jesper offered Y/N his seat, knowing that the vodka she drank last night was no merciful rival, and stood behind her alongside his boyfriend. Inej lingered sitting in a window near them as Matthias and Nina remained standing, contrary to all the privateers' team.

Kaz started making introductions, all a mere formality, Y/N knew. "You've met Y/N, our inferni. Behind him are Jesper, sharp-shooter, and Wylan, our demo-man. The blonde wall-resembling man over there is Matthias, and Nina is a heartrender. Inej in the window, our Wraith" he pointed, everyone nodding or waving at the dark-haired man.

"A Wraith alright, didn't notice you were there sweetheart!" He pointed out and then introduced the twins; Tolya and Tamar. As well as Anya and Andrei, who were two members of his ship's company who wanted to come by and see who they were working with. When that was taken care of, plans were strategized by both leaders and positions were given to each member.

Y/N knew Kaz was characterized by having plans from A to Z for very elaborate heists, but even this one seemed out of his reach, almost too ambitious. But if Sturmhond's name lived up to the myth, nothing was quite impossible for him and Kaz's love for money could get him to plot even the tiniest detail.

Their objective this time was to steal some kind of jewel called "the moon's tears". It was a gem said to be worth four million kruge, to be bargained for even more; the crows' biggest heist yet. The vault it was in was widely known for its impenetrable security measures, including seemingly impenetrable barriers, intricate lock mechanisms, and a team of highly skilled guards.

Those two were absolutely insane! Even before one considered the noble who owned the vault and therefore the gem they were trying to steal, knew Kaz from the past. It was an extremely peculiar coincidence that a masquerade ball was taking place some distance away from the location of the vault, which represented the perfect opportunity for the work.

This would allow them to exploit the lack of security and sweep the gem away. Nina would ideally take care of the distraction, to keep the nobleman from returning home too quick, but her heartrending abilities would be helpful to make a quick work to make the few officers guarding the vault doze off.

So it became Y/N's job. A job she was to complete with Sturmhond.

After the meeting ended and Y/N's headache had worsened, a deep voice was heard from behind her. She turned to find the charming privateer flashing a smile at her. "Looking forward to working with you, darling" He commented, offering his hand out and all. She took it and shook half-heartedly, eager to just go home and sleep for the rest of the evening.

"Me too, handsome" Irony laced in her tone. "Doesn't seem like it, you alright? You look like a ghost. Lovely, yes, but still ghostly" The comment made her smile, tightening the grasp on his hand but not shaking anymore "Just hungover s'all" "Told you so!" Jesper proclaimed from their side as everyone directed themselves to the door.

The privateer smiled sweetly. "Got any plans this evening?" "Other than rotting in my room until my body stops hurting? Not really. Why?" Y/N looked down briefly, realizing she still hadn't let go of his hand and then released her grasp "Well, if my days at sea have thought me anything other than how to read the stars..." he started, tapping the necklace with a star charm the girl sported.

A "gift" from Kaz (some jewelry that wasn't redeemed from a heist he let her keep). "...is how to cure a hangover. Mind coming with me to a bar? You can decide which". Going to a bar with a complete stranger who had a reputation of being in trouble most of the time and who she were to work with? Sure thing.

"Promise youll make it go away?" "Promise".

˚ · • . °

And what a plot twist he was. Jesper had jokingly said to the girl that she shouldn't take a privateer's word but he did termiante her hangover with some strange, black-ish liquid she didn't dare to ask the composition of. Then they drank more.

As the drinks arrived, they raised their glasses, the clink of crystal breaking the spell of their silent connection. Sturmhond smiled, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "To new adventures and unexpected encounters," he proposed, his voice smooth and velvety.

Y/N couldn't help but return the smile, feeling the warmth of excitement spread through her veins. "To embracing the unknown," she replied, raising her glass in agreement. They took a sip, the flavors dancing on their tongues. A comfortable silence settled between them, allowing the sounds of the bar to envelop them. After a moment, Sturmhond leaned in, his voice low and captivating.

"So, Y/N, what brings you to this lawless corner of the world?". He asked, genuine curiosity lacing his words. Y/N's eyes sparkled as she recounted her journey, the challenges she faced, and the dreams that fueled her determination. Sturmhond listened intently, his attention unwavering, as if she held the secrets of a hidden treasure.

As she spoke, Y/N couldn't help but notice the genuine interest in Sturmhond's eyes. He asked thoughtful questions and shared stories of his own adventures, effortlessly weaving tales of daring escapades that left Y/N hanging on his every word.

The conversation flowed effortlessly, a seamless exchange of ideas, dreams, and aspirations. Time seemed to melt away as they delved into deeper discussions, finding solace in the connection they were building. Laughter intertwined with their words, a symphony of shared amusement and understanding.

They became lost in each other's company, entranced by the way their thoughts aligned and their hearts danced to the same rhythm. And as the night wore on, their conversation continued, their new found connection growing stronger with every passing moment.

She couldn't help but think of Kaz, when exiting the bar, and on the way back to The Slat. When would he ever, in a million years, make her feel so seen? How could he? He seemed to be nothing but cold and a bad type of confusing to the girl.

Y/N was not blind, either. Sturmhond was known for his endless romantic encounters with women across the sea, and he was interested in her. Now, she could not deny the guy was a charming boy too pretty for this Earth, sharp as a knife and, as she found out that evening, shared a lot of ideals and interests with her.

Could he maybe work as a rebound? Maybe. Would she shamelessly use him as that? Could be. Having his eyes on her that whole meeting was no coincidence, and she liked his attention. Maybe what mends a broken heart was a handsome privateer.

They agreed to meet up the next day, his treat.

˚ · • . °

Back at the Slat, Kaz was fuming. No, not fuming; seething. A bar outing? She just met him! He could not believe his eyes when they were talking hand in hand like they had known each other from a previous lifetime.

In the little time that had passed since (most of) the crows had returned from the meeting, Kaz had already gotten four drunks kicked out, death-stared a group of dregs twice so they'd shorten their break time to get them to work and downed four vodka shots.

Why was he this mad? She wasn't even his and as far as she knew; he had no intentions of being hers either. The boy couldn't be mad at her, but he was, and Kaz knew very well he was being a big selfish shit. He could not blame Y/N either; the bastard she had been crushing on gives no signs of interest but a privateer handsome as the devil shows up with his attention completely focused on her? Of course she'd fall.

He just hated that feeling.

It's presence looms, heavy and suffocating, wrapping its tendrils around the heart, constricting with an iron grip. It whispers sweet poison into the mind, distorting reality and fueling irrational fears. Like a tempestuous storm, it rages within, lightning crackling with envy, thunder rumbling with resentment. It paints the world in hues of green, tarnishing every joyous moment with a bitter aftertaste.

And then his heart sunk into the depths of his dark soul when he saw them walk in hand in hand. That was the first time Y/N had walked into a room and not looked for him, he noticed. She was laughing at something Sturmhond had said as they walked up the stairs until they reached the door of Y/N's room. He kissed her hand and she kissed his cheek.

The privateer then walked down the stairs, noticing Kaz staring.

"She's one of a kind, that one... Might stay a bit more after the job's done. See you tomorrow, Brekker"

The feeling was now leaving an empty, bottomless void in his soul. He bottomed his shot glass then poured another one.

˚ · • . °

Time kept ticking and the void intensified, but Kaz learnt how to deal with it.

He learnt how to deal with it when he kissed her after the job was done.

He learnt how to deal with it when Y/N took a break from the crows to leave with him for six months.

He learnt how to deal with it when she returned from her trip, beautiful tan skin and a diamond on her finger.

He learnt how to deal with it when he saw her crying herself to sleep because she missed him.

He learnt how to deal with it when she left for good.

He learnt how to deal with it when she was named queen of Ravka.

Kaz just learnt how to live with the shame and regret of not recognizing that the one thing he needed was right in front of him, hoping she'd have a place next to him.

˚ · • . ° .

Hi! Thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoyed:) I'm actually sorry for this one...

Remember, the best way to support writer’s works on here is by REBLOGGING WITH TAGS. I’d very much appreciate it if you did!

Thanks again, stranger. Hope you have a nice day<3

NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO REPOST AS THEIR OWN/TRANSLATE/OR COPY MY WORK IN ANY PLATFORM OR SPACE WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT CONSENT.

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missymurphy1985 · 2 years

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The One Night Stand- part 4 (Cillian Murphy X fem!reader)

Warning - pregnancy / angst / smut

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @peakyciills @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @misscarolineshelby @screemqueen @cilleveryone @peaky-cillian @misselsbells06 @datewithgianni @heidimoreton @jardinsecos @bitchwhytho @gypsy-girl-08

"The fuck is she doing here Orla?!" He yelled, not caring who could hear him, and definitely shit faced.

"What? Who?" Orla asked, seriously confused.

"Y/n - why is she here?!"

"Nice. I bring your sister to you because you're clearly in the middle of some fucking breakdown and this is the thanks I get?" You scowled. Asshole.

"Can we all go inside please?" Orla interrupted, taking a set of keys out of her bag and opening Cillian's front door. Cillian looked to the floor and followed Orla into his house. You hung back, but Orla beckoned you to follow.

You reluctantly followed, walking into the house you stormed out of a few months earlier.

"Cillian what's going on?" She asked, sitting him down at the kitchen table while making him a coffee and toast.

"I kitted out two nurseries, Orla. One here, one at hers. The works, man. Cots, drawers, clothes, nappies, wipes, you name it I fucking bought it. All of it. I'm such a fucking mug!"

"What happened?" She put the coffee and toast in front of him, and sat next to him at the table. You felt so awkward, stood at the counter. He leaned back on his seat, throwing his arms in the air.

"Baby's not mine, Orla."

"What?" You choked, suddenly.

"What do you care?" He glared.

"That's not fair, Cillian..."

"Not fair? You wanna talk about fair? You walked out of here after I find out she's pregnant, and ignore me for fucking months y/n?! Months! And you wanna talk to me about fair?!"

Orla groaned, suddenly realising who you were. "Cillian, how do you know the baby isn't yours?"

"She showed me the last scan photo. It said 34 weeks. Then I looked at the others.. the dates didn't add up sis. I called her out on it. She tried to deny it, she was crying, getting emotional.. and then confessed. She was already pregnant when we had sex. And she knew she was. Baby isn't mine, she just planned to use me to fund the fucking thing." His head fell back into his hands on the table and gut-wrenching sobs wracked from him.

Your heart broke, and without thinking you went to him. Kneeling at his side, you wrapped your arms around him. Before you could pull away, suddenly realising what you were doing, he fell into you, clutching at you like a lost child who'd just found his mum. You glanced up at Orla, she was welling up, but her face was stony. Angry. Furious, even.

"I'll kill the little bitch... I swear I'll kill her..."

"Orla, calm down, we can deal with her tomorrow. Let's take care of him now, yeah?" She turned her back to you and you could see her calming herself down, hands on the counter.

"Sorry..." Cillian choked, pulling back.

"No, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

He rested his forehead against yours, holding your hands.

"I should go, I'll leave you with Orla -"

"No... Please? Don't go?" His eyes on yours, pleading with you. You felt torn. He was heartbroken and drunk. You were desperate to stay. He would regret it in the morning, he was angry with you. And yet you were still desperate to stay.

"Y/n, can I talk to you a sec?" Orla asked you to join her in the hallway. Leaving Cillian to eat his toast, try and soak up some of the vodka he'd downed.

"I know what you're going to say..." You started.

"He was devastated when you left y/n. Truly devastated. I can't see him hurt again, this pain is too much as it is."

"I've missed him every single day since I left, but I was so angry with him Orla. So, so angry."

"Did he tell you Kate told him she was on the pill?"

"No.."

"That she was the one who left the morning after, not him?"

"No."

"That she told him she was 25?"

"Shit..."

"Yeah. If you'd given him chance to explain, you'd have found out, wouldn't you?"

"Yes."

"If you're staying, stay." She held your arm gently. She wasn't being hard to be cruel, more to make you understand. And you understood, perfectly.

"I'll talk to him when he's sobered up, he isn't thinking straight. He's still angry with me."

"He needs you to get through this. You were all he talked about when you were dating. And now here's me dating your cousin," she chuckled.

"Twist of fate?"

"Maybe."

She smiled. The recognition you noticed earlier that night suddenly hit you. The eyes and the smile were identical to his.

You went back into the kitchen and found him slumped over the table, fast asleep, he'd exhausted himself. You looked at Orla and both of you rolled your eyes.

"Gonna be fun getting him up the stairs," you sighed.

"Fuck that, sofa's closer!" Orla laughed as you both hooked an arm over yourselves and hoisted him up. He groaned and struggled all the way to the sofa in the living room before you flung him down on the cushions.

"I'm gonna leave the undressing to you - I'll grab a blanket and a bucket. He's shit with hangovers," Orla said, leaving the room.

You stripped him as best you could, down to his boxers and t-shirt, as Orla came back through with the blanket and a washing up bowl.

You settled on the sofa by the window, and Orla in the chair.

"You can head home if you need to y/n, I don't mind staying with him?"

"I don't know what to do, Orla."

"He's going to want you here in the morning. But it's your call."

"He won't even remember I've been here tonight."

"Yes he will. Trust me, he will."

So you stayed. You changed into one of his t-shirts and a pair of shorts you found in his drawers and lay on the other sofa opposite him. His dog, Scout, found a bed at your feet. You knew Cillian would go mad at the dog sleeping on the couch but he was warm and snuggled, you daren't move him. Plus he was giving you those eyes - yep. He was staying. Your little four-legged blanket. Orla stayed too, but she took one of the guest rooms upstairs. You were worried about Cillian's reaction in the morning in case she was wrong.

The sun broke through the living room window, straight into his face. You heard him groan and turn over, hiding his eyes from the glaring light.

You pulled yourself up, Scout was on the floor next to you now, clearly having remembered he was absolutely not supposed to be on the sofa. Stretching your legs out, you knocked the coffee table, startling Cillian, who turned round, bleary eyed.

"Y/n?" He croaked, mouth as dry as a desert. You grabbed the glass of water you nearly kicked off the table and handed it to him. He smiled, drinking it down in one.

"How are you feeling?" You asked, wrapping your blanket around you.

"Like my head's in a vice."

"Do you have bacon?" His eyes lit up as he nodded.

"One bacon sandwich and a strong coffee coming up."

Orla had joined you once she smelled the bacon under the grill. Clearly all Murphy's were led by their stomachs...

"You know I'm pretty sure you can take her to court for the costs, Cill?" She said, once breakfast was done.

"I can't be doing with the hassle of it Orla. It's not worth it. Sile can have the stuff upstairs for when she has the baby."

"Listen, Cill I have to get home. The dog will be crossing her legs. I'll call you later, yeah?" She stood up and kissed the top of her brother's head, before heading out. You walked her to the door.

"Told you he'd want you here, didn't I?" She smirked, before hugging you again and heading out to her waiting taxi. You took a deep breath and went back into the kitchen. He was already cleaning up.

"I can do that if you need?"

"Least I can do after last night. And this morning."

"Can we talk, Cillian?" He stood, motionless, at the sink, taking a deep breath before turning back to you.

"You really fucking hurt me, you know that?"

"I know."

"And you don't, for a fucking second, deserve what I'm about to do. You know that?"

"What are you - " He was on you in seconds, silencing you. His lips on yours, his hands in your hair, backing you against the kitchen wall.

You couldn't think straight - all you could focus on was his body pressed against yours and how perfect it felt. How right it felt. Also how wrong it felt... But you'd deal with that later.

He'd stripped you of the shorts you'd borrowed, and you made short work of his, your feet sliding them down his toned hips and legs.

"Y/n..."

"I swear, if you ask me if I'm sure I'll cut you."

He chuckled, before slamming his length deep inside your warm core - your head fell onto his shoulder at the sudden invasion, a deep groan emitting from inside his chest.

He thrust up inside you, his breathy little gasps against your neck. Your nails clung to his t-shirt, every nerve ending throughout your body felt like it was on fire, or being electrocuted. Your senses were lit up like a Christmas tree.

There were no words exchanged, just gasps, moans, groans... The feeling of him inside you, being connected to you, was enough.

His thrusts came harder, faster, deeper. Your legs wrapped tight around his back. Neither of you planning on making this last long.

Your orgasm hit you quickly - your lip between your teeth as he pressed his forehead against yours. Eyes locked together as he came with you - a silent exchange of pure ecstacy as he filled you - you felt it surge through you like a jet, streams of warm cum lining you walls as they clamped him, milking him dry.

He finally relaxed, his shoulders heaving as he kissed along your neck.

"Okay, so now we've got that out of our systems, can we actually talk now?" You asked, raising an eyebrow at him. He laughed, sliding out of you and pulling his shorts up.

"Best hangover cure there is," he grinned. You pulled your shorts up and went into the downstairs bathroom to clean up. Coming back out, he'd made you a coffee and was sat in the living room with Scout at his feet. You walked in, nervously, and sat next to him.

"Probably shouldn't have done that," he sighed.

"Probably not... Listen, Orla told me the truth of what happened that night, and the morning after. I'm sorry I didn't let you explain, I'm sorry..."

"It's okay. You're here now, right?"

"Yeah... I'm here now. I'm sorry about Kate and the baby... What are you gonna do?"

"Well Sile can have the stuff I've got upstairs. Got no need for it now, have I?"

You shook your head sadly.

"Were you excited? About being a father?"

"Terrified at first. But the more time went on, yeah. I was. I really was. A little me, you know? Not the woman I planned on having a baby with, but still." You nodded, choking a little.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, seeing your eyes fill up.

"I should have told you this from the beginning, and I'm sorry, I didn't think this was more than a fling but I think might be more than a fling, and I should have just been open and honest from the get go because it isn't right to keep it from you..."

"Hey, slow down, it's okay? What is it?"

"Are you in this for the long term? You want me, even after what I did?"

"I've always wanted you. You're scaring me, what's going on?"

"I can't have children, Cillian."

#cillian murphy #cillian smut #cillian x fem!reader #cillian fanfic #cillian x smut #cillian murphy x smut

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forever--rain · 3 years

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I wanted to create a separate post for this, @thebansheeandherboy, because it’s a topic that is near and dear to my heart as a little sister with an older brother. (And this got...LONG. So I've hidden part of it under the cut.)

My brother used to be very set in his patriarchal ways. Certain things were "a woman's job." He was absolutely convinced there was something wrong with every guy who miraculously took interest in me. For a long time, we had a very Sokka-and-Katara-Book-1 relationship. Antagonistic yet fond. Full of conflict yet protective.

As we grew up, he dated some girls who were very strong-willed and courageous. They didn't take his crap. They were my earliest feminist influences and I love them all for it. Without them, I may not have found my voice and become the person I am today. And they changed him, too.

He's very supportive of my independence now. He thinks I kick ass and is extremely proud of who I am, even if we don't always see eye to eye. And as the years have passed, he's learned that my judgement in regard to friends and significant others is pretty good. Sure, I made my youthful follies, but so did he.

Though I know he'll never admit it out loud because it would mean admitting that he likes someone whose views directly oppose his, he actually likes my S.O. and he's glad that we finally found our way to one another. And though I know I'll never hear the precise words, "I like him," I see it in a myriad of little ways which I won't delve into now because it's not pertinent.

"Ever," you may be asking. "What does any of this have to do with fictional characters?"

Well, Sokka learned from strong female influences as well. He shed his misogynistic views and embraced Katara, Suki, and Toph for who they were--strong women. He learned not to underestimate them. I've seen that in real life and I can relate to it.

It's my personal headcanon that Sokka and Zuko become lifelong best friends after everything that happened during the war. Zuko would come to admire Sokka's ingenuity and Sokka would appreciate Zuko's sense of duty and honor. They'd both respect each other's leadership skills and be in constant communication about inventions or laws or anything else under the sun. They'd be good sounding boards for one another. (And they'd also really grow to appreciate each other's senses of humor.)

(Truly, these two are my brotp.)

In a universe where Zuko and Katara get together, I actually see Sokka catching on long before either of them do. Maybe Suki would have to clue him in, but I don't think so. I think he'd catch on to their chemistry at the Western Air Temple during the war. And I think that he'd sit down with Zuko to talk to him after the war. Not in an "over protective big brother" kind of way or anything. He'd definitely just want to thank Zuko for saving Katara's life since she's always been the one to sacrifice for everyone else. He'd make sure to tell Zuko what that means to him and how much he respects him for it. He might even tell Zuko that he's like a brother to him.

That would be the beginning of it, though.

Sure, maybe a part of Sokka would find it weird because it's his little sister and his best friend (and, honestly? I'd find it weird at first if my best friend liked my sibling), but he'd kind of get it. Zuko and Katara push one another. They complement one another. They have a selfless and unconditional give and take that somehow always remains equal. Plus, Sokka knows Katara better than anyone. She's strong-willed and determined. Even if he hated the idea of her and Zuko getting together, that wouldn't stop her. He knows, too, that Zuko has always seen Katara for who she is. Zuko's not once underestimated her. He'll remember when Zuko and Katara went to track down Yon Rha and that memory will reinforce in his mind that Zuko is willing to provide Katara with unwavering support no matter the decision she makes.

And when he notices them looking at each other when the other has no clue, he'll realize he's seen that look before. Katara looks at Zuko the way Suki looks at him. And Zuko might be better at hiding his emotions than Sokka ever could be, but he can't completely disguise the way his eyes go soft when Katara walks into a room. (Don't forget: Sokka trained with Piandao. He has higher observational skills than most people give him credit for.)

And he'd just kind of watch over the years as Zuko and Katara sit in denial and dance around it. But he'd also definitely tease them both about it relentlessly, don't get me wrong! He'd make kissy faces at Zuko behind Katara's back. He'd walk around after Katara mimicking her voice as he says, "Oh, Zuko's so handsome. Zuko's such a powerful bender. Zuko has such nice, shiny hair." (Until Katara bends a snowball into his face, of course.)

Maybe Katara would try dating other people. Sokka would say things like, "You know, this guy doesn't make you laugh. Even Zuko makes you laugh." Or, "This guy can't even sling a boomerang! At least Zuko can wield two swords at once. You should find someone like that." Or, "You should be with someone who's unafraid to give you autonomy and likes your political ideas."

And if Zuko looked like he was about to give in to an arranged marriage, Sokka might step in in a subtler way. "You know, you should find someone who challenges you and inspires you to be a better person. Someone with aspiration who isn't afraid to speak her mind. Especially if she's speaking up for the average person. And you should really try to find someone you love because leading a nation seems like a lonely thing and you don't deserve to be alone."

When they finally decided to try to be together, the two of them would keep it under wraps at first. People might suspect, but there'd be no concrete evidence. Toph would claim she's noticed a difference in the energy between them. And Suki might say Katara's letters suddenly contain a little too much Zuko. But Sokka, ever the skeptic, wouldn't buy into it because his best friend and his sister are dense.

Maybe Sokka stumbles across them snuggled under a tree by the turtleduck pond one day. Or maybe he catches them kissing during the winter solstice celebration in the Southern Water Tribe. And he definitely pulls something melodramatic because, let's face it, he's Sokka. Plus, he just wants to give them shit because he's still Katara's brother and Zuko's best friend and he's obligated.

Afterward, though, he'd track Zuko down. Zuko might try to explain in his usual fumbling manner, but Sokka would just look at him and say, "You know if you hurt her or leave her or if you don't find a way to make this last forever, she'll kill you, right?" And then he'd pull out a flask of Southern Water Tribe vodka, raise it in Zuko's direction and say, "Flameo, hotman. Flameo." And together they would toast to Zuko and Katara's relationship.

(But Sokka would still lovingly give them shit for the rest of their lives.)

#this was so fun to write #thank you for asking me about this banshee!!!#i've never thought that sokka would have a problem with zuko and katara getting together #so getting to put my thoughts into words was fun #zutara #zutara headcanon #zuko x katara #sokka #sokka headcanon #headcanon #water sibs #zuko and sokka are my brotp

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skullchicken · 2 years

Text

Blackout - Part 6

Info I Part 1 I Part 2 I Part 3 I Part 4 I Part 5

And then she sent him a text-message the very next day. And then she convinced him to play this stupid game. And then she showed up at work and stole his master key!

"Hanne." Mr. Sulzbach loudly snapped his fingers around his face. Leaning over his solid wood desk, the human man just barely reached his chin. “Still asleep?” No, but he sure felt a bit woozy. "Partied too hard yesterday?”

Ah, that's why he was here. The boss didn't like that he bailed.

“Wasn't a busy night, yesterday. And the shorty had to get home somehow."

“Aw, Hanne. Don't stress yourself out, I'm happy for you”, he grinned, surprisingly. Or maybe not. The boss liked to pretend he was 'one of the guys'. Liked to buy them drinks. Crack jokes. Pound shoulders and puff sides. That only ever lasted until someone rubbed him the wrong way. But if it made the boss sleep better at night, Hanne was fine playing along. Even if his smooth, studio-tanned mug yanked his chain.

To make matters worse, he was now reaching under the desk where he had a minibar, refrigerator and glass cabinet. Because to top it off, the boss also saw himself as a cocktail artist. The menu in the club was composed by the man himself – the club's “unique selling point”. And every two weeks or so he took out his creativity on some poor twerp.

"We gotta toast to that – I'm sure it's been a while, hasn't it?”

That was none of his goddamn business. But he shrugged awkwardly. And wondered if he could somehow wind himself out of this.

"I gotta work later.”

"Oh, woo – you can put that away, a big guy like you," he laughed, opening a vodka bottle with his tattooed arms. He didn't even ask him what he liked to drink. "Do tell – are you popular with the ladies?"

"Nope."

"Didn't think so." Tomato juice puffed up like a small cloud inside the glass. Hanne kept a real close eye on it.

"How about men?"

"Neither."

And now he was taking spices out of the drawer. That was homing in on a Bloody Mary. Weirdly enough he had to think that salty GHB wouldn't taste out of place in a spicy cocktail.

"There's no soy in there, is there?"

"That's tomato juice."

"Yeah, but they use it to extend sometimes.”

"It's tomato juice – you know, now that I think about it, I've never seen you hanging out with other trolls."

Hanne shrugged in response.

"Isn't it strange that you don't live with your kind – that's how you people usually do it, right?" That was one way of describing a ghetto. He stabbed a stick of celery into the soup and pushed the glass towards him. "Aren't you lonely?"

What a question. He'd spent decades putting on as many layers of 'fuck off' as his body could take. He had specialized in not needing anyone, not messing with anyone, and only keeping himself and his houseplant alive.

Of course he was lonely.

Through the hole that the question had just poked into his heart, a shred of truth escaped.

"The shorty... I think when she's sober she won't like me anymore."

"Dunno about that, there's a fetish for everything."

Of course. What did he expect?

"But who wants to be a fetish?"

“When you look the way you do, that's a question you don't ask." He looked meaningfully at the cocktail and nodded with encouragement. Reluctantly but obediently, Hanne took the drink and emptied it in one gulp. It was a small glass, but he couldn't completely cheat the liquid past his tongue. He made a face. Was he imagining things – or wasn't it too salty?

"Did you mix in something extra?"

"That wouldn't knock you out anyway," chortled the boss and put on a face mask. Why did he put on a mask? "- but they will for sure."

Then the door crashed open and masked men with clubs poured into the office. He could only look from the gang back to his boss. And laugh.

"You can't be serious..."

Three strikes hit him before he could even get out of the chair. Each time they bit through his jacket into flesh – stun shocks. The first one tickled. The second stabbed. The third hit his neck and his consciousness like a truck. The body was a prison. Mages could leave it temporarily. Matrix-addicts thought they could. But everyone who wasn't dead had to return to it sooner or later. Had to live with the pain. With the constraints. With the scars. Masks, it rang in the back of his head like an alarm bell, they all wore masks – and surely not without reason. He had to get out of here, and fast. He pushed his body mass past the three men who were trying to stop him with their small frames. But he was a glacier. He blocked an uprising club with one hand and grabbed into the yakuza's face with the other. Traumatic brain injury. Probably two weeks of headache, nausea, perhaps even a vegetative state, speech disorder, paralysis. The man stumbled over backwards. Hanne reached over to the door. As his fingers closed around the handle, the world slumped from under him, the edges of reality soft like warm butter. Oh no – the gas took effect. Was it too late? Probably. Still, he threw the door open.

Amanda stood there, eyes as round as pool balls.

She had found him.

What were you supposed to say in a situation like this, being pursued by Yakuza, blood on your hand, blisters on your face? 'Usually I'm not like that?' – lies. As if this wasn't an embarrassingly on-the-nose-caricature of his life. 'Help me?' – how? No. No-one would help him, no-one could help him. They were many, he was alone and the darkness was already tearing at the edges of his field of vision.

"Out," he finally barked.

The last thing he saw was her wafting head of hair.

Amanda

"Out," coughed Bob before he collapsed in front of her eyes. Behind him, through the crack in the door and into the office, she could already see the thugs get back on their feet. She took her heels and ran, slipped back through the door through which she had entered the corridor. The hall with the first dance floor was empty, but only briefly.

As soon as she took up position against at the wall next to the door, it flipped open and four gasping men stumbled in. Amanda used the opportunity to pluck a hair from her head at speed. She still did not have a plan yet – but everything depended on her staying undetected. With a full hand she pulled a strand of magic. The drain boiled her guts. She suppressed a wheeze. If her hands were still visible, she would have seen the blood pool under her fingernails. But no, she remained, suffering silently pressed against the wall, completely invisible, while Arne Sulzbach heaved himself onto a stool at the counter. He didn't look so good either: His eyes were glassy and the sweat pearled on his forehead.

And so all four of them took a breather.

"I thought he'd never keel over.”

"Don't worry, I put another load in him on the way out," the yakuza with blond, short hair announced, his thumb pointed at the door.

"If they cut the bonus because of you, you'll pay me the difference." The third member of the group had long, black hair in a high pony-tail.

"Omae – with trolls you make sure."

“Does he have a lung filter?” The question was directed at Arne. He just shrugged, staring off into space. “If not, it doesn't matter how broad he is. That stuff will knock out vampires if necessary. Are we not doing well, Mr. Sulzbach?”, he asked, amused.

He wiped his forehead with his leather-brown hand. Whatever “that stuff” was, apparently it was no joke, even with a face mask.

"I'm okay. But... can the three of us even get the guy into the van?"

The two men laughed. The blonde one pulled a flat box from the inside pocket of his jacket. The patches peeking out of the packaging reminded Amanda of folded pads. He patted Mr. Sulzbach's shoulder.

"We're gonna take a 10-minute break until the gas has fizzled out and then there’s gonna be a round of stim patches for everyone. Kappa will whine like a stung pig when he comes to, but he'll be as good as new."

"Temporarily," added the black-haired man.

"Temporarily," smirked the blonde.

Amanda smiled, too.

The blonde had clamped the torn package under his arm. So with pointy fingers it was easy enough to steal a patch. The actual problem was rather how she would slip through the door unnoticed. At least two of them always looked in its direction. She could either wait for an opening or she would have to be real fucking fast. Right now she still had time to decide – but the minutes crawled by on the clock like hours. And so she bode her time, tense enough that she could have jumped out of her skin.

"Is he even worth the trouble?"

The two yakuza exchanged looks. One shrugged as if he didn't care.

"I guess so, otherwise we wouldn't be here."

"It definitely is. I took a look at the template. You wouldn’t have to do a lot of operating to match. Sanding down bones costs next to nothing. Artificial muscles are way more expensive. And Aidan Byrnes is rising like crazy right now. The guy has mega-action Tridstar quality if he manages to break through. But even if he doesn't, the bunraku would make their money back in no time, his fans are already really hardcore, so – what?” The other Yakuza shot him a weird look. “I do research for my jobs. Why don’t you?”

"'Research', alright,” the long-haired man ribbed. "500 gigabytes of trog porn on your commlink. For research."

The blonde looked at him reproachfully.

"Hey, that's no way to talk about your mother.”

Him and Mister Sulzbach roared with laughter while the other pretended to strike a blow. Amanda seized the moment, held her breath, and pushed through the cracked door.

She ran past Bob's smoldering body, into the office, towards the third yakuza and his stun baton. She flinched when she saw his head. The eyes were open, the chin resting on his chest, the side of the head blood red. After a quick shudder she helped herself to the baton, checked the on / off button briefly, made it zap.

Alright – time for round two.

#shadowrun #troll #literature #fanfiction #prose #sex and violence #violence tw #fight scene #blackout

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bumbershots · 3 years

Text

A CERTAIN ROMANCE

CHAPTER THREE: WHO ARE YOU?

Author’s note: Hello! Once more I would like to thank you all for the love this story’s been getting, it truly blows my mind. I am also looking for a beta reader so if anyone out there is interested let me know! (: Let’s pick up right where we left off...

Story masterlist ** Word count: 2.3K **

Two souls don't find each other by simple accident, Harry thought after taking a seat for the first time that night, his feet were probably going to be swollen tomorrow, they were killing him already. But he wasn't keen on turning down a dance from the girl collapsing in the settee right next to him. A slow Amy Winehouse song was their cue to rest.

"Do you want a beer?" Her voice sounded a bit hoarse, probably from all the giggling and singing she did while dancing the night away.

"Yes please."

He watched her trot to the small bar on the other side of the flat, focused on how the multiple bracelets bounced in her left wrist as she instructed her brother which beer to give her. As she came back to take her previous seat, he felt a small wave of anxiety for wanting nothing more than to start a conversation with her, as she handed him the beer. Usually it was the other way around, but in most of the cases, people wanted to know his persona.

He knew the silence was becoming awkward, but he was still debating whether to ask about her upbringing or what she did for work, whatever the case was, he didn't want to make a fool out of himself, he almost never seemed to be that lucky.

"You're not used to people being calm around you, are you?" Alma’s frown os curiosity is a mirror to the one on the musician's face.

"Yes and no?" Harry's coy tone makes her smile warmly and shake her head in denial, "so, I'm Hampstead station guy?" Her eyes widen, a shy smile appears on her full lips before she takes another large sip of her drink.

"It's unlikely to find the same person thrice in the tube! I told my friend Laura, it felt like a glitch in the matrix." She answers and he lets out an amused laugh.

"For the record, I wasn't following you, at all..."

"I know, you just had to take the same line I did and it was a happy coincidence," she interrupts him, the new song gathers a few more dancers and Harry wonders if she will ask him to dance again, "although it would've made a great anecdote for my YouTube channel; story time, a famous musician follows me around the city possibly plotting my painful death." She joked as she gingerly flashed her hands before the two of them, as if presenting the latest play from the West End.

It was Harry's eyes turn to be wide and smack his hand into his forehead.

"You have a YouTube channel?" His interest was genuine and Alma made herself more comfortable on the sofa, before proceeding to fill him in about what that was about, just videos about her 'sort of interviewing remarkable people' or so she claimed.

It was something that started as a class project back when she was seventeen, trying to get good grades to win a scholarship and study abroad —none of those things happened. She kept doing it afterwards because it was too much fun, once she interviewed all her friends, she moved onto her family. "Believe me when I tell you, that I have more relatives than I should!" With a smile as big as hers, he sighed before breathing 'lucky' as his heart sped and she continued.

Restaurant owners, chefs, firefighters, barristers, doctors, accountants, waitresses, sexual workers, sex shop employees, bankers, homeless people, hairdressers and apparently every person from her home country had been on the informal interview series. Harry was impressed with the whole concept and her.

"I sort of abandoned it a little when I moved here last year, it was crazy busy the first couple of months and the whole bureaucracy... and I was a little homesick to be honest." For the first time in the night, her voice is thinner, he has to lean in a few inches to hear better, "I miss my parents, my cousins, my aunt, my grandparents. But this is something I've wanted for the longest time you know?" Her eyes bore into his, allowing him to see the vulnerability swimming in them, "I've never felt like an outsider here, never got lost in the tube, took the wrong bus or anything like that. Isn't it weird?" Harry smiled at the sentiment, thoughts of his latest trip to Japan flashing before him.

"No, I think it's marvellous that you feel that way." He cannot be real, is the only thing running through her mind like a restless hamster in its wheel.

Harry and Alma talked about everything they didn’t have in common, despite the brief interruptions to do some shots and drink champagne with the birthday boy. Their families were discussed, their favourite things to do in the summer. Alma even asked him how was work going, as if she didn’t know that he was one of th world’s most successful artists. Harry was thrilled to joke through their drinks and the girl wasn't shy to ask him for a couple more dances. None of them noticed the partying dying around them, it was only after Fernando said his goodbyes to his laughing sister, that they noticed how late/early it actually was.

Before they knew it, golden hues streamed through the window behind them as Freddie walked out of his room and offered them coffee.

"I'm never drinking straight vodka again," Freddie mumbled to himself after finishing his cup of coffee.

"At least it wasn't Vodquila like last time," Alma's words make him groan but agree. "I should go now, need a shower and a healthy breakfast."

After Harry also admitted he needed to be on his way, with all their belongings gathered and after saying goodbye to a very ill Freddie, neither Harry or Alma looked forward to their imminent separation. He had spent hours hearing how busy she is, when not recording content, she was working at Wenzel's and teaching Spanish to her neighbour's daughter on the weekends. Still, he was determined to meet with her again.

As soon as they started moving down the street, Harry noticed the next one was where he had to turn right in order to go home. It wasn't a short walk but the most effective route for sure.

"So, the bus stop is that way," Alma nodded her head to the left, smirking knowingly as she stuffs her hands in her coat pockets.

"Of course," they had come to a rolling stop at the corner. Harry suddenly felt beyond nervous about asking the girl for her phone number. "Thank you, for keeping me company last night." It was amazing he wanted to add, but licked his lips quickly instead.

"You mean keeping you from catching up with all your friends," she corrected him.

Harry shakes his head and smiles, the dimples graciously adorning his cheeks, his racing heart giving him the last push needed to finally ask. "Do you think we could go, like for coffee... sometime?” With that she laughed, immediately memorising the sound of it, her loud cackle is one of the nicest things he has heard in awhile.

"Only if I can buy you something from the selection of pastries." Harry laughed loudly, completely relieved by her answer. She dug around her purse for a moment before taking out a pen and what seemed to be an old receipt, quickly scribbling down her number and handing it to him.

"I'll call you," he beamed, carefully placing the piece of paper in his wallet. He'd be an idiot to lose such a precious fragment of information.

"Looking forward to it," Alma smiled at him for one last time before she started walking to the opposite direction. "See you around Harry." His face was a bit puffy from not having slept properly, but she would be lying to say he didn’t look adorable at the same time.

He waved and watched her walked away, her sweet and tired morning smile seemed to be engraved into the musician's mind as he headed home.

The air was still a bit cold, but the heat was starting to rise and plague London for the rest of the day, the hot summer everyone's been yearning for was finally here, even Harry could feel it in his bones as he continued down his path. He was still highly enamoured by the amazing night he spent sharing a piece of himself with Alma. His feet felt heavy, were even burning a little, but it was nothing as he made his way through his home gate twenty minutes later.

He decided to get some toast and a cuppa for breakfast, his high spirits not faltering even one bit although he could feel the consequences from the all-nighter already with each yawn. After eating he decided to take a shower that got him ready for a well deserved sleep in his comfortable bed.

Waking up around six o'clock startles him at first, Harry is well rested now but a bit grumpy for the weird taste on his tongue, something usual after drinking beer. He scolds himself for not brushing his teeth earlier as he walks in his bathroom. The cool tiles against his bare feet wake him up a bit more. After some needed dental hygiene, Harry gets dressed to go out and pick up his sister for their weekly dinner. Hopefully he can convince her to stay in, that way he can go on and on about the events from the night before.

His feet still hurt, he can even feel a blister underneath his big toe. But it doesn't bother him, it's actually a nice reminder of the incredible things that miraculously happened. Harry knew that since Alma was related to Fernando, someone that was bound to be in his life for the next six months or so, there was a big chance they would've met at some point. But he'd rather think it was fate, some sort of good karma coming round, he stared at her contact on his phone, still charmed by the fact that she gave it to him on the back of a receipt. Ignoring that she only did it that way, because the thought of asking for his mobile to enter it herself, was a very bold move. And Alma wasn’t really that confident, not when his green eyes were boring into hers anyway.

"When are you gonna call her then?" Gemma's voice snaps him out of his daydream for the third time during their quiet dinner in her flat. "What is it? You've got that look."

"What look?" He asks before his sister frowns and pinches her bottom lip with her thumb and index finger. It's his nervous quirk, he sighs, "I don't know, I'm just so nervous." Without a valid reason, he knows the girl is so lovely, maybe that's why.

"You're afraid of fucking it up," she knows, Harry nods. "Well, you could tell her that, perhaps on a text—

"—I want to call her, texting her will make me feel a wanker." Gemma smiles at her little brother, he looked uncharacteristically unsure of himself but nonetheless excited. It was endearing how the first thing he told her after crossing her home's threshold was 'my life is officially a chick flick!' Before proceeding to explain with detail about the whole situation.

"What about a text that reads: hello, this is Harry please save my number so when I find the guts to call you, you don't think it's a telemarketing scam," Gemma might be joking and mocking him all at once, but has a point. A text so she also has his number, makes the situation more even, she can call him too. "Assuming she gave you a real phone number."

"What?" Harry is mortified.

"I'm kidding, you should've seen your face," his sister wanted to drag a bit more her joke, but the preoccupied look on his face stopped her. Gemma couldn't wait to tell their mum, knowing that she would be just as absorbed. "There's nothing wrong with showing interest right away. If you want this to be honest and genuine, set an example." She finished before taking the last bite of pizza.

Harry knew that to be true, but now he was left wondering if it was the right time for him. Had he really left behind all the ghosts and baggage from his past? Or was he still carrying them in the new tattoos of his knees?

Despite his sister's encouraging words about how nothing could go wrong this early with Alma, he couldn't help but wonder if his still grieving heart was ready.

He takes his time walking back home, not caring if it was a really long one, he was aware of the curious eyes once he reached the Southbank but paid no attention to them. He welcomed the chill breeze, hoping for it to cool his boiling mind. Remembering the last time he walked along the river arms around his former flame, her laughter still ringing in his ears, her tender kisses in his knuckles, her delicious scent flying away with the airstream into London's sunshine.

Missing someone is not wrong, Harry reminds himself.

There's no point going down the rabbit hole of what ifs about their relationship. Harry can admit his mistakes, no matter how hard it comes to him, he can also apologise wholeheartedly. He did all those things already, months ago. Which is why he was able to keep her as a friend, not a close one, more like an acquaintance. And she's happy, he can see that, knows it.

Why does he feel like he's still drowning? He's already been pulled from the vast ocean of hers. Harry groans, struggles to open his gate, his good spirits from this morning nowhere to be found.

He doesn't know if it's the memory of her, the fear of loneliness, coincidence and laziness, or a bad habit? But he doesn't text the girl with warm brown eyes, instead he plays the voicemail that sometimes haunts his nightmares, on repeat, for the rest of the night.

///

Let me know if you like the story! *** Join the taglist!

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#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles oc #harry styles series #harry styles #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles fandom #harry styles fanfic #a certain romance #harry styles ou

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werejusttouchingeachother · 5 years

Text

Dirty Sinner

Words: 6048

Genre: smut (m)

Pairing: Kai x reader

Warning: dom!Kai, sliiiight angst if you look hard enough lol

A/N: Happy Birthday, cousin (pt 3--its the final one, I swear) also this entire thing was inspired by the gifs of the W Korea photoshoot and those gifs oNLY

One would think that the fact that he's your brother's best friend would be enough of a reason to not fuck him behind your brother's back.

But no, you had to pick him even though he was the one guy who was famous too.

Hundreds of friends and yet, you picked the best friend, the idol:

EXO's Kai.

Of course, like most bad decisions, it wasn't intentional. You'd grown up around a lot of guys, thanks to your brother being the most outgoing, friendly guy that there is. And most of these guys only ever considered you as a younger sister--Jongin included.

Until about two months ago when there was a party at your place.

You'd been the perfect balance between tipsy and drunk, just one vodka shot away from losing your memories of the rest of the night. The crowd had gotten suffocating and you'd escaped upstairs to your bedroom, long after midnight when a majority of the people were shitfaced-drunk, including your brother. It was when you were stumbling to your bathroom that you'd ran into Jongin. You'd tripped on your heels and he'd caught your arms, steadying you.

You still remember what you wore. It was one of your favourite dresses--a dark navy lace that moulded your body with a deep plunging neckline that made your brother frown at all the cleavage you'd displayed oh-so-generously.

A decision that was difficult to regret especially when Jongin's eyes had lingered there for a moment before meeting your eyes. He'd surprisingly been sober and you still cannot recall whether it had been intentional on your part or not but you lost your balance in his arms, causing him to fall back on the wall with you up against him.

It had taken only a second of eye-contact before Jongin was kissing his best friend's little sister. One moan from you and he was shoving you into your bathroom, locking the door behind him as he lifted you onto the sink, lips finding yours again hungrily.

However, it didn't last for long. Right when you'd started tugging at his shirt impatiently, he'd grabbed your hand and stopped you, stepping away.

"You're drunk," he'd said. "We shouldn't be doing this. Your brother will kill me."

Before you could even stop him, he'd left you there in that bathroom, feeling cold and incredibly frustrated.

You didn't leave your room after that, feeling angry at yourself for how disappointed you were because he'd left. It shouldn't have mattered but it did and you couldn't get that kiss out of your head.

And apparently he couldn't either cause when it was close to 3AM and the music had died down and when you were certain everyone had passed out on all possible surfaces of your house except your room, you heard your door open.

Jongin had stood there, eyes dark and intense as they gazed at you and you had glared at him.

"What?" You had snapped at him. "Isn't my brother supposed to be killing you for something that he never even knew?"

At that, he'd raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? We're going to play the 'what he doesn't know won't kill him' game?"

"As opposed to the game of eye-fucking each other across the room and pretending to ignore the sexual tension everytime we're together?" Narrowing your eyes at him, you'd seethed, "Yeah, don't think I didn't notice all the glances you gave me all night."

"You're his kid sister. I literally watched you grow up."

"Bullshit. The last both my brother and I saw of you was when you two were in middle school and then it was only after you debuted. Both you and I have changed plenty during that time and you know it."

Jongin had stepped into the room then, his back pressed against the door as he digested your words.

"I'm not a kid anymore, Jongin," you had said, leaning back on your headboard as you pulled your knees to your chest absentmindedly. His eyes had immediately dropped lower, following the movement and even before the wicked idea could form in your head, you were already spreading your thighs and displaying your thong that peeked through the dress that had hiked up considerably now.

You heard the familiar click-sound as his fingers locked the door shut behind him and like a man in a trance, he had strode to the bed and pounced on you in an almost animalistic frenzy, hands and mouth everywhere.

The way that you had unintentionally moaned 'Kai' after the first orgasm he gave you that night--or morning--dawned the realisation upon both of you that it wouldn't be the last time you'd be doing this.

A realisation that the two of you had abided by as Kai now marked up your neck in the downstairs bathroom of your house, grinding into your thigh while the guys were immersed in their game of PubG in the living room--a perfect excuse to disappear without anyone noticing especially since Baekhyun kept yelling, "DIE DIE YAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Except that now--almost two months after the first time in your room--you felt things differently than earlier.

It had started last week. Your brother had left town for a couple days, your parents weren't home so of course you called him over. After the party, it was mostly quickies here and there so this was a golden opportunity for both of you. Kai had driven over immediately, you had fucked in all possible places of the house in all sorts of positions and you remember thinking that if you died from having too much sex, it'd probably be a great way to go. Especially if it was with Kai.

But then he had stayed the night. You'd laid on his chest and he'd ordered pizza around 1AM and you'd worn his shirt that was too big for you while answering the Dominoes delivery man at the door and he'd waited for you on the carpet of your living room with a stupidly cute grin on his face.

You knew you were fucked when you woke up feeling warm in his arms that were wrapped snugly around you, his face buried in your neck. You knew you were truly fucked when he'd smiled right as he woke up and saw you with the tray of toast and coffee, putting it aside and pulling you back into bed with him for some lazy morning sex. You knew you were truly royally fucked when the two of you stood pressed up against your front door when he had to leave, neither of you making the move to leave--until he had to run upstairs and escape from your window when you two heard the sound of your brother's car in the driveway.

And when you'd fallen back into your bed, smiling and wrapped yourself in the sheets that smelled like him?

Yeah. Fucked. Both literally and metaphorically.

Of course, it hadn't been like this the whole time. At first, it was the risk of what you were doing, or rather who you were doing--sneaking around your brother's back, the thrill of getting caught, the way you'd drive him up the walls by calling him Jongin in public and screaming Kai when you both were alone, the way he'd have you struggling to keep it together when you were around your brother by giving you a certain look or by straying his hand farther down your back or sending you a dirty message on your phone at the dinner table while you sat with everyone and of course, the fact that you were having the best sex of your life with one of the sexiest KPop idols on a regular basis. But now, as you watched your reflection in the bathroom mirror, held up against the door while he thrusted into your clothed core, you couldn't ignore the feeling of fluttering butterflies over the usual impending-orgasm-tightening of your stomach.

"Fuck," you gasped, closing your eyes as you felt Kai come over your panty and bare thighs, your own orgasm soaking through your underwear.

You breathed hard as you looked at him, your eyes moving from the back of his head that you could see in the mirror to his face as he pulled away from your neck. He smiled at you then, setting off your heart in an erratic pace that had your insides turn to mush as you stared at him.

Post-sex Kai was the most beautiful Kai that you'd ever seen: his honey skin flushed with an ethereal glow, all the blood rushed to his cheeks, sweat glistening on his forehead and his lips swollen.

You swallowed thickly as you blinked at him and he ducked his head towards yours, mouth going to meet yours and you quickly say it before you can second-think it or stop yourself,

"We need to stop this."

Kai's mouth moves to your throat instead as he licks a long stripe from your collarbone to your ear. "Hmm?"

"We should stop this," you repeat, your heart pounding in your ears. You then have to force the next words out, "Kai, stop, I'm not fucking around."

You place your hands on his chest to push him off you and see him blink at you, as if in a daze.

"Well," he said, still grinning coyly. "We aren't fucking around right now. But we could--"

"I'm serious."

The smile falls off his face, his playful expression turning somber in an instant.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"You're my brother's best friend," you state, moving your hands to your back where it was out of his sight since they were slightly trembling. "I'm his sister. He trusts both of us and we--we're doing this. I feel like the worst sister."

"Y/N, what--"

"He trusts me, Jongin." The use of his real name makes him scowl slightly as he realises you're serious.

Oh, if only he knew.

"He said this thing the other day," you continued, forcing yourself to maintain eye-contact so that the lies you were spouting wouldn't be as obvious. "He said that he's glad he can trust me and that I'm honest with him. It made me feel like shit."

No, he didn't, but what did make you feel like shit was when your phone would light up with a notification from 'Jongin' that had you grinning like an idiot.

You cleared your throat, tugging down your skirt that he had bunched up around your waist.

"Y/N," Kai, no, Jongin said your name in a tone you'd never heard him use before, making you look at him.

"What's going on?" He asked seriously. "Did he see the last text that I sent you or something? Did he find out?"

"No," you rolled your eyes as you straightened from the door. "No, he didn't. I just feel guilty. I feel like a... sinner."

"Isn't that what you like though?"

His tone makes you glance up, right as he takes a step towards you. With dark eyes focused on you, he places one hand on the door right near your waist, the other reaching for below your skirt and you feel his finger trace up your thigh before raising it to your mouth.

Your lips part open reflexively and he smirks in satisfaction, letting your mouth wrap around his long digit, allowing you to slightly taste the cum that he had collected from his earlier orgasm that was still on you.

"See?" He whispers, hot breath fanning your face as you stare up at him with your eyes wide open.

"You love this," Kai mutters. "You're a dirty sinner, Y/N, and you love it."

You closed your eyes, feeling your resolve break down momentarily before snapping your eyes open, grabbing his hand and pulling it out of your mouth.

"I'm serious, Jongin," you mutter, voice cracking. You shove him back, straightening your clothes. "This--we can't--we're stopping. That's it. Go play with the guys, they're waiting."

And with that, you left a stunned Kai Jongin in the bathroom and headed to your bedroom where you locked yourself in for the rest of the night before leaving to stay at a friend's place in the morning--a place where your cowardly self could hide out for days and sort out your messy emotions without having to worry about running into Kai.

"I literally do not understand why you need me there," you said exasperatedly, your fingers pressed to the bridge of your nose as you listened to your brother on the phone.

"Y/N, its been a week," he stated as if you didn't already know. "You've been crashing at Soojin's place for a week. I'm starting to think you hate me or something."

"You know it's not that," you reply, sighing. "I'll just spend a few more days with her before coming back."

He stays quiet for a moment before finally giving up on arguing with you. "Fine. But you have to come tonight."

"Again, I repeat, I don't understand why you--"

"Mom and Dad went for a trip, Y/N. Do you know when was the last time we had the house to ourselves?"

Yes, you wanted to say. Yes, I know exactly when--approximately two months ago which was around the time that Jongin's vacation had started and you'd thrown a 'welcome back home' party for him that had transcended into a private party in my room where he had shifted from your middle-school best friend Jongin to my secret fuckbuddy Kai.

But of course, you couldn't say that so you went, "No, I don't know."

"It's been months," he stated in his typical exaggerated fashion. "I would be insane if I didn't throw a party tonight. Its written in the stars, Y/N, karma will literally be out for you if you miss your favourite brother's legendary party tonight."

"You're my only brother," you state wryly.

"Bitch, I will drive up there and hit you."

You laugh slightly and shake your head, biting your lip as you considered the possibility. You were tempted to ask if he would be there but you knew he would, it'd be stupid to assume he wouldn't come.

It's been a whole week since you saw him, heard him and touched him.

You sigh and finally give up as you glance at Soojin who raised an eyebrow at you.

"I'll be there," you mutter, smiling as you hear your brother cheer in victory. "Don't open the vodka bottles that I bought last month before I get there or I'll murder you."

"Get here fast then," he retorted and you two abruptly hung up.

"You're going for the party," Soojin said wryly even before you could say a word.

You nodded in defeat, looking up at her hopefully. "Will you come with me?"

She snorted, crossing her arms. "Why, so I can watch you run around the house, trying to avoid Kai? No, thanks."

Soojin was the only one who you'd confided in with your dirty secret and she had given you advice that had terrified you to no ends:

"Just tell him you like him."

"Oh come on, Y/N!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in frustration as she watches you fidget on her couch. "I don't understand what you're so worried about. Given the fact that you two have been sleeping around like bunnies for two months now, I don't think it's likely that he'd reject you."

"He's an idol, Soojin," you say defiantly, raising an eyebrow. "Fucking around and dating are two very different things."

"Are idols incapable of dating?" She rolled her eyes. "If he can fuck around with you for this long without your brother finding out in his own household, I think he can manage a secret relationship without his agency finding out."

"Secret relationship?" You screeched, feeling the blood rush to your cheeks. "What the fuck are you saying, we're literally talking about his career here!"

"Why are you blushing then?" Soojin called you out, narrowing her eyes at you. You threw the cushion at her and she sighed, standing up from the couch.

"I'm not going to argue with you, Y/N," she said, holding up her hands in defense. "But for what it's worth, I think you should tell him the truth cause he's a grown adult who can decide for himself whether he should date or not. So you should confess for your own peace of mind. Cause trust me, unrequited crushes are the worst." She paused, thinking. "Well. You're pretty lucky for someone who has an unrequited crush cause you've fucked him in all possible--"

"Stooooop," you whined, falling back on the couch dramatically. "Don't trigger me, I'm trying not to think about it."

Soojin smirked, crossing her arms. "Missing the endless sex, Y/N?"

"Missing is an insufficient word," you grumble, frowning. "I miss my room but sex with Kai is not something I'm missing right now, it's something I'm..."

You trailed off, trying to think of a word that would match all the emotions you felt when you thought of Kai in your arms, in all his naked glory.

There was a short silence before Soojin suddenly suggested, "... Craving?"

"Mm," an involuntary sound that sounded like a half-moan and no where near as appropriate as it did in your head escaped your mouth and your eyes flew to Soojin who was gawking at you, definitely having heard you.

She burst out laughing as you sat up from the couch, your entire body feeling warm with part-embarrassment and part-other-emotions-that-you-didn't-want-to-name.

"You're so full of bullshit, Y/N," she giggled, shaking her head and taking your hand as she pulled you up. "Regardless of what you do with him tonight, I'm going to play my job as best friend and dress you up so good that Kai will be crawling to your room on his knees."

You looked at her, horrified. "That's the exact opposite of what I want."

"Fine, then," she shrugged, leading you to her room. "He'll see you and push you onto your knees, happy?"

"Soojin, oh my god--"

"Shut up, bitch. This is my house and in my house, I dress you up how I want to, whether you like it or not so shut the fuck up and take off your clothes, we got a slutty Cinderella to create."

Soojin wasn't joking.

You'd hoped against hope that she would be but she wasn't and you realised how dutifully she'd stuck to her statement as you entered the living room of your house, immediately feeling all eyes on you.

Your hair tied up in a complicated updo with a few strands hanging down and framing your face, Soojin had lent you a dress that had surprised you--an ivory-coloured satin dress that hugged your hips and thighs before flaring out slightly at the knees, accentuating your curves in all the right places, with a satin ribbon that crisscrossed at the back like a sort of corset. The only aspect of the dress that you'd hesitated about was the cowl neckline that would be dangerously revealing if you leaned any way too much.

When Soojin had said 'slutty Cinderella', you'd expected some daring skimpy outfit that showed way too much skin but as your brother waddled to you in a drunken-walk that you were familiar with, you realised that she had sneakily misdirected your thoughts by putting you in an outfit that didn't display anything directly but was teasing and body-shaping enough to leave plenty for the imagination.

Soojin, you evil bitch.

You hugged your brother, crinkling your nose as you smelled the alcohol on him and tried to understand the words that he was slurring drunkenly in your ear.

Your eyes suddenly caught a movement to the right and you froze in his arms as you saw Kai from over your brother's shoulder, striding out of the kitchen with a drink in his hand.

He stopped as soon as he saw you, eyes growing wide and your brother stepped away from you right at that moment, leaving you without a shield as Kai's eyes raked over you.

Your own couldn't help but drink him in--clad in a white shirt that was unbuttoned all the way to his mid-torso with frills at the front that only he could pull off perfectly in that typical-Kai fashion, tucked into black pants that elongated his legs, you felt your throat turn dry as you saw him.

God, it must be illegal to look that good.

And then Kai's eyes flew back up to meet yours which is when the realisation hit you:

His clothes were the exact same outfit that you'd admitted to lusting over when you'd seen it at a magazine photoshoot--you'd said that he looked like a groomsman whose jacket you, the bridesmaid, had tossed away and left him in just the white and black underneath.

And simultaneously, you recalled one night where Kai had especially drawn out the foreplay--you'd worn white lingerie and he'd admitted that he loved seeing you in white cause it gave off the appearance that you were innocent but only he knew how dirty you truly were, especially when he took the white garments off.

You'd mentioned this to Soojin. Not today or yesterday but almost two months back when it had happened, a conversation that even you hadn't remembered until you saw how Kai's eyes darkened from across the room--but apparently that Soojin hadn't forgotten.

I'm going to fucking kill her.

Kai took a step forwards, eyes still on you and you immediately heard sirens in your head. Hurriedly, you turned and exited through the front door, your legs taking you to the back of the house.

You don't know how many hours you'd spent running away every time that you even caught a glimpse of him. Yes, it was cowardly and yes, it was childish but you couldn't help it. It must have been about two hours later when a majority of the guests were sufficiently drunk that you found your way to the kitchen and had your first drink of the night--the vodka that you'd hidden away.

You were well into your third shot when you saw Kai in the living room, near the couch. There was a girl dancing around him and you saw the look of disinterest on his face as his eyes flitted around the room before finally finding yours.

The glass that you were holding froze mid-way to your lips and you watched as his eyes narrowed before he grabbed the waist of the girl in front of him.

You only saw him roll his hips sensually against her before you whipped your head around, feeling a burn in your chest that you were certain wasn't caused by the vodka.

God, I am so fucked.

Your eyes closed at the realisation and you suddenly felt rage boil through you.

There's no reason for you to run. You asked for this. You wanted a fuckbuddy and not a relationship. Kai was too boyfriend-material and by the time you'd realised that, it had already been too late. Which was why you left.

And now you could move on.

"Fuck it," you muttered to no one in particular as you downed the last of the vodka in your glass, slamming it down on the table and striding purposefully to the living room.

You grabbed the shoulder of the first tall guy that you saw and spun him around.

You couldn't remember his name but you knew his face well--it was a face that both Soojin and a lot of girls weren't fond of due to his fuckboy status and that was all the memory you needed to throw your arms around him as you danced wildly to the music.

You hadn't danced for long when suddenly, you felt a hand grab your arm, spinning you around to see the face of a seething Kai.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He yelled to be heard over the music. "I'm the one who makes you feel guilty but fucking Jason is completely okay?"

"You're my brother's best friend!" You defend yourself loudly. "My brother doesn't even like Jason. And who I sleep with is none of your business, Jongin, fuck off."

You turn at that to a tipsy Jason and you quickly mutter into his ear the magical words that no guy at a party can resist, 'Hey, do you wanna get out of here?'

Quickly heading for the door, you take Jason's hand and lead him outside your house, dragging him through the people that were dancing out front. When you were sure Kai couldn't see you anymore, you told Jason that you'd be right back and headed down the block to the grocery store.

Sitting at the small foldable table outside the store all alone at 4:17AM in the morning, you considered calling Soojin to ask her to pick you up before realising that you'd left your phone at your house. You lay on the table, wake up and loiter around the store for a while until you hear a whole row of cars drive past the store.

You glance at the clock above the cashier's head:

5:28

You take off your heels and leave the grocery, walking your way back to your house.

The front porch is empty and so is the living room when you enter. You close the front door as quietly as possible, hearing the click echo through the hall as the whole house is filled with silence, as opposed to an hour ago.

Sighing, you drop your heels on the floor and carefully make your way through the bottles and cups, too tired to clean up now. Making a silent vow in your head to help your brother tomorrow morning, you head for the dark kitchen and reach for the jar of water.

The moonlight filters through the curtains enough to illuminate the island counter and you pour yourself a cup, raising it to your mouth and cocking your head back as you gulp it down.

The water is down your throat when you feel a sudden warmth at your back. You glance down and see two familiar veiny hands at your sides, holding on the counter.

Jumping in surprise, the plastic cup falls from your hand as you whip around to come face-to-face with Jongin.

His eyes are darker than the night as they bore into you, the moonlight hitting only one side of his face while the other half is hidden in shadows. His hands have caged you between his body and the counter at your back but without touching you.

You blink up at him, heart racing erratically--both from being startled and from the proximity after a week of not seeing him.

You hated to admit it but your senses were already drowning in his familiar scent that you'd missed, your thighs clenching around nothing.

"Where did you go?" His voice was piercing and sharp, cutting through the silence.

You swallowed, the sound echoing. "I went with Jason."

"You're lying," he cut you off even before you could finish saying it. "You left him on the front porch. Where did you go?"

You stay silent, hearing your own bated breath.

Kai's eyes narrowed. "Y/N."

"G-grocery store," you weakly muttered, giving in.

"Why?"

You don't respond, suddenly hyper-aware of everything around you. Your heart was pounding in your ears, you could hear your heavy breaths and you could hear every breath that Kai took, feel all the heat that his body was radiating even without touching you and the way both your bodies were the loudest echoes in this dark kitchen on this moonlit night.

Taking a breath, you finally admit, "I needed to get away from you."

At this, Kai's entire demeanour changes as he straightens suddenly, eyebrow cocking up. "Oh really? How's that working for you so far?"

You don't say a word and then he's slamming you into the counter, the marble surface biting into your back as he grips your forearms tightly.

"You really think that you can cut me off so easily after making me fucking addicted to you, Y/N?" He gritted out. "You started this. The same hesitation you had last week, I had it that night at the bathroom. And the same confidence that you had on your bed, I'm showing you now."

You're breathing really hard now, certain he can hear how loud your heart is as you gasp, "Kai--"

He cuts you off with a heated kiss, one that was unlike the million that you'd had so far--filled with aggravation, teeth clashing and tongues battling for dominance. You lost readily, letting him explore your mouth with his talented tongue, swallowing your moans as you melted in his arms.

Kai pulls away when he's certain you're breathless, forehead pressed against yours.

"If you want me to stop," he breathes out heavily. "Tell me now and I'll leave you alone. I swear I will. No more fucking around. But if you don't, I'm going to show you exactly what it means to sin."

You're already gripping the front of his shirt, fingers roaming his warm chest hungrily. His hands came up and grabbed yours, holding them in front of you, making you glance up at him.

You blink hazily, already feeling every bit of fight and resilience that you had in you leave, wanting to be drunk in his arms, wanting to be drunk in Kai.

"Don't stop," you mutter, feeling your legs tremble as you threw your head back. "God, please don't stop."

Kai's lips were immediately attacking your throat, one hand holding both of yours in between you two while his other hand went to your back. You felt the knot on your back that Soojin had tied into a bow so carefully and neatly come undone and Kai's fingers moved quickly as they pulled the satin ribbon free from the loops on the back, the dress loosening around you.

He yanked the ribbon completely free from behind you and you watched as he placed it between his lips to allow his hands to tug your dress down. You heard him moan at the sight of your bare breasts and you started to reach for his shirt but he stopped you right as the dress pooled around your ankles. His foot steps on the hem and you lift each of your own feet, allowing him to pull it from around your ankles and kick it aside.

Taking the satin ribbon from his mouth, Kai wrapped it over and over around your joined wrists, binding them together and tying it tightly.

Your breaths were coming out in short gasps as you watched him, core already pulsating with desire and when he finished tying your hands, his lust-crazed eyes met yours.

"I've been wanting to do this ever since I saw you tonight," he mutters, hands going to his pants as he pulled his zipper down. "I'm going to show you exactly how much of a dirty sinner you are, Y/N."

You don't get the chance to respond as he spins you around by your shoulders, hand pressing into your back until you're arched over the counter, bound hands atop it and breasts pressing against the cold marble.

"A dirty sinner just for me," he whispers right in your ear before licking it.

"Fuck, Kai," you whine at the sensations spreading through your body as you feel his knees pressing into the back of your leg, urging you to spread your thighs.

You do so readily, and he raises his left hand to your mouth, two fingers slipping inside your lips, making you immediately suck on the long digits.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard and so good on this kitchen counter," Kai promises, thrusting his fingers into your mouth. "And you're going to stay quiet for me, baby."

You moan around his fingers, arching your back into him.

He continues, "Your brother is upstairs, isn't he? We don't want him to find out about how his innocent sister is really a dirty sinner, do we?"

You close your eyes, feeling his other hand wander lower.

"Look how wet you are for me," he mutters, kissing the back of your neck, his chest reverberating against your back. You choke on his fingers slightly as you feel his other fingers slip inside your wet folds, walls immediately clenching around him.

"Fuck, I've missed how wet you get for me," Kai groans as he flicks your clit incessantly, making you buck and squirm against the counter in a matter of minutes.

He removes his fingers from your mouth, trailing it downwards and replaces his right hand with his left, dripping with your saliva. You trash around at the sensation and Kai holds you tightly against the counter to steady you, his fingers thrusting into you deeply and easily because of your fluids.

You press your bound wrists to your mouth to muffle your moaning as you feel him bring you closer and closer to your high. Writhing on the table, your thighs began clenching around him and right then, he pulled his fingers out of your dripping pussy.

Collapsing on the table and focusing on being quiet, Kai doesn't give you much time to breathe from your almost-orgasm as you feel him coat the head of his erection with your arousal, wetting it completely before slipping it inside you.

You moaned, slapping your hand over your mouth as Kai began thrusting at an animalistic pace. It was rougher and faster than he'd ever been on you before, his fingers digging into your hips and certain to leave bruises tomorrow morning while the angle of his hips helped him reach inside you in all the sweet spots that had you seeing stars.

The air was hot and heavy around the two of you, filled with the sounds of skin slapping, your muffled moans, Kai's breathless pants and the water bottle trembling at the corner of the counter as he slammed you against it repeatedly.

Your breasts roughly brushed against the surface as Kai pounded into you. He suddenly grabbed your thigh and raised your leg.

The new position had you screaming into your hand as you felt his dick reach upwards, rubbing your clit just as he thrusted in and out of you.

Kai pressed his chest to your back, pinning you down to the counter table and right as his hand groped your breast, your orgasm crashed over you.

You shook over the table, legs trembling as you came around Kai's dick, his own orgasm following a few more rough thrusts later. You're dripping with cum and you can feel it trickling down your thigh as you lay exhausted on the counter, Kai's body collapsed over your own back.

"Still feeling guilty, baby?" You heard him pant and you couldn't help the smile that came over your face at the question.

"No," you admit honestly. "A little sore, a lot satisfied, and there's definitely no guilt or regret."

You felt Kai press a gentle kiss to the nape of your neck and the two of you lapse into silence, you focusing on the sounds of both of you trying to catch your breaths. Kai straightened suddenly, pulling out of you and you felt his hands on your shoulder, gently spinning you around.

His eyes scanned your face, fingers lightly tracing your chin. "You're okay?"

The soft question filled with concern had your heart swelling and you couldn't help it as you pressed up against him with your arms still bound, kissing him deeply. His arms grabbed the back your thighs, pulling you up on the counter and sitting you down on it as he kissed your neck. You arched back and fell on the counter.

Right then, a bright light flashed across your eyes.

You snapped your eyes shut tightly and were vaguely aware of red spots dancing behind your eyelids.

When you opened your eyes and squinted at the harsh light, you realised that Kai had stopped moving.

A chilly air suddenly blew past and you felt your blood run cold.

Slowly turning your head to the right, you see your brother standing at the doorway to the kitchen, eyes wide and hand frozen on the light-switch.

"What the fuck?"

#exo smut #exo smutfic #exo kai #kim jongin smut #hbd cousin #this was my personal favourite #cause dUH #happy bday hoe #i love you

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