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alreadyblondenow · 3 years

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Whenever the sun is hiding

“And I wish that she’s you. If we have met a little bit sooner I’d marry you. Why can’t it be you?”

Pairing: General!Kun x warrior!female reader, Mulan AU, enemies to lovers Genre: SMUT, FLUFF, angst? WC: 3,750k Warnings: this story is so asian because it is a Mulan AU, this is a time where women are allowed to be warriors, mentions of heavy training bc they’re warriors, cheating but... youll get it once you read it, unprotected sex, mentions of fingering, mentions of Kun fantasizing about the reader fucking him, fingering, a lot of kisses, slight exhibitionism, mentions of other idols A/N: NOT PROOFREAD. I’ll fix it once I have time. I just watched the new Mulan movie, (yes the one that was boycotted) and it was amazing. To the one who requested this... I’m sorry if you’re not asian, :( but I hope you still read and love this.

Under the scorching sun in the middle of summer, warriors are trained to be prepared of what lies ahead. The power of the enemy is quickly growing by every second and the young warriors of China, and it’s very young, new and ambitious general is not going to slack off until his nation is safe.

That is why he is very hard and strict with how he teaches the warriors assigned to him. So strict that every woman in his battalion went home after the first few days of training. Except you.

It is your incredible will and perseverance to bring honor to your family that’s making you stay and helping you go through each hard training everyday. And who would have thought that your perseverance and driven soul will make general Qian Kun hate you to the core.

But that’s not the only reason why he hates you.

One beautiful night after your night duty when you thought everyone was asleep, you took a bath on the river and enjoyed your time alone. Releasing your feminine side by smiling while watching the moon, catching flowers that fell on water and tuck one behind your ears. You were beautiful, the general thought.

So beautiful that he almost did not realized that he was peeking now and accidentally saw your breasts the moment you went out of water. He then quickly hid behind a big rock, careful not to make a sound and careful not to be caught. That night, he touched himself while thinking about you.

And that is why general Qian Kun hated you. Because despite being a successful general in his very young age, he’s still a man who can’t have a decent fuck when he sure knew he needed one. You make him sin even though he’s already engaged and every time he touch himself with you in his mind, he will always feel so guilty afterwards.

Who wouldn’t hate you for that?

“Wake up, wake up my general”

There’s that soft toned wake up call again with a faint image of a woman on top of him, blurry because of the sunlight behind her that hurts Kun’s eyes and made him squint, but he knew he was dreaming.

And then he woke up.

It’s that dream again. The dream of his future wife who had been matched to him a day before he left for his duty as general. What a pity. It doesn’t look that much, but Kun was so excited to meet her in person. But the girl has been visiting her in his dreams, and that’s why he knew that this marriage is a good idea. This marriage will be beautiful, she will be beautiful and he will have a quiet married life after this duty of his.

Kun got up from his comfort and asked his assistant if you had gone home already and coward away. “No general, Y/n was seen during the morning run,” the soldier answered.

“Bring her to me, I want to talk to her,” Kun ordered and then stretched is body before putting on his robe and sit on his chair, waiting for your presence.

“General, L/N Y/N is here,” the soldier announced and Kun commanded you to enter right away.

It was nice on the generals tent, cozy and not hot like the tent you use together with the others. His things were neatly placed, and he is staring right at you now.

“From now on you will go last with everything. Last in line, last to shower, last to rest after training. Except during meals, you’re first during meals but don’t eat with other men. Are we clear?”

“Yes sir!” Of course it was clear to you but you never know why? Did you do something wrong?

But the real reason is, after what happened the other night, the incident in the river, Kun can’t risk the other men to be distracted by you. Some men in the battalion are already matched and ready to marry when they get home, just like him. So he can’t tolerate sin now and raise cheaters during this training .

Or maybe he simply just wanted to protect you.

For you it’s alright if you’re always last, what’s more important is you’re not last when it comes to skills and fighting. You were always doing great in the field, and the general was always impressed by what you’re showing. He just can’t say it out loud because it will hurt his pride. But who cares if he agrees, you’re not giving up and that’s what’s important.

Knowing that you’re last to take a shower and to clean yourself in the river, Kun can’t contain himself even though he has been avoiding you for weeks now. Yes. Weeks. But all his great efforts are coming to waste because at the end of the day, he will end up thinking about you and well, fantasize about you fucking him instead of resting.

“Maybe you like her and deep inside it’s not just weird fantasies after all,” the second general, Lucas, said to Kun while he is busy washing his hair.

“Did you forget that I’m matched already and she’s waiting for me to return home?” Kun frustratingly answered back.

“No, I did not forget that. But you don’t know this fiancé of yours, and you have never seen her or touched her,”

“Sure I did. In my dreams”

“That doesn’t count you moron. Look, if fantasising is not enough for you maybe just ask her-“

“You’re the moron, you know I can’t do that. I can lose my rank as general,”

“Let me finish first” Lucas held up his big hand and waited his friend to shut up, “Ask her truthfully, be clear with your intentions. After all, she’s a girl too and maybe she needs what you have been wanting too,” Lucas explained and left for he is done taking a bath.

Turns out Lucas was right. Whenever you take a bath in the river alone, and made sure that no one is watching, you touch yourself quickly and relieve your stress in a corner. Imagining a man whose fingers are deep inside you and imagining that you two are in a hurry so others won’t catch you.

Then after a good orgasm, you just feel silly and desperate. Why do I do this to myself, you murmured.

“Next time do it behind that rock,”

A familiar voice startled you and instantly made you shy. Did he saw you touch yourself? How much did he saw or hear? Why is he here? Did he do this on purpose? Of all people, why the general?

“I’m sorry general. I should get going...” you said with shy eyes, covering your still wet body with your thin robe and avoiding the general’s gaze that melts you instantly.

“Can you join me?” he stopped you from walking away from him, holding you by the elbow. A gesture that you can read easily. The general is not joking and he meant every word he said.

By the time he left you to go in the middle of the river, you haven’t made up your mind but you aren’t leaving yet as if you wanted to accept his offer and see what goes after. What are expecting? A kiss? A good talk? A good fuck? Why does he want me to join him?

All these questions ran through your mind as you slowly untie your robe and let it fall on the ground, walking slowly towards to the handsome man waiting for you under the moon and stars in the middle if a cold river.

Whatever happens, happens.

“So this is your decision?” He asked you calmly, with a soft smile that you have never seen him wear. “We will never speak of this whenever the sun is up,”

You nodded slowly and he came close, grabbing you by the waist and lifting you underwater so you could lock your legs around him.

“Tell me, are you matched?” he asked, looking so handsome in his damped hair.

“I am,” you answered weakly but you already got lost in his eyes.

“All the more reason to hide what we have,” he said and started kissing your neck that felt so good. Suddenly the cold water became warm, or that’s just Kun sharing an unfamiliar heat to you.

Slowly, he walked towards the big rock he talked about earlier. Feeling the water gush to your body and his hand soothing your butt underwater while making small talk. Everything feels so wrong but so good at this moment that you can only let out soft moans and listen to his groans as he was busy kissing you and kept on touching your body. Kissing your breast and licking your nipples like you were some kind of cold treat on a summer day, and you did not miss how his tongue felt around your sensitive areas.

“General-“

“Kun. Call me Kun whenever were alone,” he whispers and started nibbling your earlobe. His hands started to roam on your inner thighs, holding you with one hand and readying himself to make his first move. “Don’t make a sound,” he said and kissed you on the lips. Deep and with tongue that you became speechless and all you can do is shut your eyes close and feel this two fingers go inside your cunt. In and out you feel him under water but it sadly it doesn’t do the job.

“I think it’s the water,” he stopped and groaned quietly, his frustration was obvious. Is he really desperate to fuck tonight? “Let’s go to my tent, what do you think?” he asks you.

“N-no. That’s too much. We can get caught, I think I’m fine for tonight-“

He cut you off with a smirk and chuckle, “No were not. Were not going to get caught and were certainly not yet done for the night, unless you really want to. I can’t force you,” and again, he gave you freedom to choose. But whenever he’s like this you can’t help but feel like you’re throwing yourself to him. You just stared at his eyes and traced his soft lips using your thumb.

“Lead the way,” you said. And you witnessed him smile from ear to ear.

Quiet and very careful, you and Kun walked towards his tent and made sure that no one will see you together. Good thing the coast is clear and if anyones is awake, they should be guarding the place like a hawk. The moment you’re both inside his cozy tent, he blew the candle so no one would see your silhouettes, and of course, you did not make any sound.

He walked you towards his bed and slowly undid your robe, swiftly removing it and making you lie comfortably on his bed. He removed his robe and went on top of you immediately, staying in between your legs while he spreads kisses on your body. But you swear, you wanted to see his cock to inspect whether it’s big or can it fit?

“Don’t worry, you will feel it in a moment. And it will answer all your questions,” he smirked in between kissing your left breast while kneading the other. “Do you like kisses?” He asks as he spreads some around your body all the way down to your cunt, teasing it with a few licks.

“Now I do,” you smiled and answered his question. Reaching for his head to rake away his hair and to see how his tongue works.

Incredible. As expected and you wish you could make a sound.

Kun went back up to you, searching for your eyes under the very minimal light, “You should be kissed often, and by someone who knows how” he whispered and placed a soft kiss on your lips.

“Is that an invitation for tomorrow night?” You joked and smiled through the feeling of him finally spreading your legs open and making you feel his cock slide up and down your wet slit, again, teasing you and preparing you for what’s yet to come.

“If you let me kiss you everyday then I’m considered the luckiest man on Earth”

Such sweet words you thought. But such sweet words are not easily said if you don’t like the person you’re with. In other words, you don’t know if he actually mean it or is he just trying to be sweet because he’s about to fuck you senseless now?

“Ugh- it wont go in,” he said frustrated but still quiet. He’s that big and you are that tight.

“Ahh- fuck I wasn’t ready” you almost screamed the moment he put two fingers in your hole to prep you more, making you wetter by every second.

“Fuck its huge,” you informed him when Kun finally manage to put a few inches inside. He just chuckled and lowered himself to kiss your neck, whispering, “its not yet even halfway in,” he said in a very sexy way that just took your breath away.

But before he fucks you properly, he made sure he’s looking directly to you not missing the way you will react when he finally move. And when he finally did you furrowed your brows and parted your lips shamelessly, letting out small sounds that’s for yourselves only. You look and sounded so beautiful and irresistible Kun thought and he knew right then and there that he will be addicted to you. Almost to the point of he can’t let you go.

“Please don’t get me pregnant,” you plead and hold on tightly to his shoulders and kiss him even more deeply.

“I wont” he said and spread your legs even more for a new angle. Finally giving you hard and piercing thrust that you don’t have any choice but to accept them.

The night continued as you two forget the world outside the tent. He did a lot of things to you. Completely maximizing his time before the sun appears. After the first wave of your sexual activity, to your surprise he flipped you on your stomach and made you arched your back beautifully. Spreading kisses on your back while he kneads your breast from behind, pinching your nipples and giving them a great squeeze from time to time... as he fucks you harder from behind that if anyone is listening outside they will already know what you two are doing in the dark.

And just as you thought that he’s done with you, for his final move tonight, his grand finale, he made you cum using his tongue with two fingers inside your cunt and his other hand busy kneading one of your breast.

“Your legs are shaking uncontrollably, are you fine?” He was teasing you. If you have the energy to punch him you would gladly do it but now you really can’t.

While you two were enjoying the quietness of the night, you snuggle beside Kun while he wraps his arms around you. Both staring blankly in the ceiling and both replaying what happened earlier in your minds.

“I don’t feel guilty, I hope you do too” he said out of nowhere.

“Surprisingly I don’t feel guilty either,” you tighten your embrace to him.

“Is that an acceptance for my invitation for tomorrow night?” He smiled. You didn’t answer him for it was far too obvious already.

By the time you and Kun parted ways before the sun comes up, you both instantly felt incomplete. Why? You managed to get back to your tent quietly and went to sleep immediately, Kun did the same thing but right now as you sleep like a baby, Kun was having a nightmare.

Not exactly a nightmare. But it was for Kun. His fiancé visited him again in his dreams, and even though he knew it was just a dream, he still felt ashamed that he cheated.

On the next day, as expected he was back on his usual cold and strict image like he wasn’t inside you last night. But as much as everything was bothering you and your mind was out of focus the whole day, you didn’t let your guard down still did what you had to do during your training.

“A fucking tiring day don’t you think?” Your friend Hendery whined and flopped to his side of the bed. “You were out late last night. Stargazing again?”

“Y-yes, I saw different stars last night,” you said with a smirk, confident that your friend won’t get it.

And as you did stargazed near the river that night and endured the cold, you waited for a pair of arms to finally keep you warm. And his lips, to kiss your tiredness away. But to your disappointment, he never came.

He didn’t came the next night. Or the night after that. And even the following nights. Until you got the news that he left the camp and went back to the city for serious business for a few days.

“You were just a past time Y/n. The general played you and how come you were such a fool believing that he actually like you” you frustratingly murmured to yourself while you thrown rocks at the river angrily.

“Tss. You should be kissed often, and by someone who knows how” you said mimicking his words before throwing another rock, “where’s my fucking kisses now!”

“I can give them to you know if you want it,”

Finally, the person you hated so much showed up. “Well, it’s too late- general, welcome back” you bowed and gave him respect even though you know he don’t deserve it.

“I’m sorry. Please don’t be like that,” he let go of his horse and reached out to you for a hug but you avoided his touch. “Let me explain and let me make it up to you,”

You shook your head ‘no’ without looking at him. And Kun knew that this was his last card, his last chance to make it right. “I like you and that’s the truth. I realized that now during our time away, and I understand why you feel like this. I’m sorry. Will you please forgive me,”

“You’re general Qian Kun, don’t beg for my forgiveness-“

“I’m not a general right now, I’m just a normal man asking for forgive to the girl I like,” he breathed in deeply and let it out heavily, “My guilt got the best in me for the past days but now... it’s clear that I can’t lose you. Not yet and not like this”

After that night, better days came in, forgiveness was given and everything felt a lot lighter. You and Kun stopped fucking just for the sake of feeding each other’s lust and actually taking time building your relationship. Secretly. But you told him that when it’s time to go home, you should part ways and bring honor to your families by marrying the people waiting for the both of you. He did not answer you.

Of course that didn’t stop Kun from falling in love, because even though you two are in the middle of a war zone and a very sticky situation, it was a beautiful time to be in love.

And when the war between the enemies was settled, Kun wasn’t so happy upon hearing the news because this means its time to go home and get married.

After you and Kun made love in his tent for a couple of times tonight, with tired and sweaty bodies you did not care and still cling to each other.

“Tell me about your match, is he handsome like me?” He asked you out of nowhere which is alarming because he never opened this kind of topic before.

“I haven’t seen him. I left before I could meet him. But I heard that he’s brave and he can do a lot of things and that he loves his mother very much.

How about yours?”

“I don’t know anything about her she visits me in my dreams but I never see her face clearly,”

“And?” you asked because it’s obvious that he’s holding something back.

“And I wish that she’s you. If we have met a little bit sooner I’d marry you. Why can’t it be you?”

“Why? because of sex?” You asked slightly offended.

“No, no don’t get me wrong I think about you even when the sun is shining brightly in the sky or whenever you have clothes on or your body is covered in armor and your face is full of dirt. I admire your natural strength and drive.”

“This is wrong. We agreed to go home with honor” you turned your back against him and thought about what he said.

“Tell me why is this wrong? We love each other-“

“Were engaged to different people... Kun, are you hearing yourself”

“You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry the person you cannot live without and Y/n, I can’t live without you” he explained sternly. Already mad but that didn’t stopped him from covering your exposed body with his blanket and leave a soft kiss on your shoulder.

“This right here, what we have now, it’s everything I wanted and more. In fact, I could die right now, Y/n. I'm just... happy. I've never felt this before. I'm just exactly where I want to be” he whispered but he sounded so frustrated still. “In the end I’ll respect your decision. But I’m not marrying someone I don’t know, someone that’s not you, I would rather die in war,”

If Kun was being honest, he thought you would chose him over someone you don’t know. He was beyond heartbroken when you told him you wanted to go home and thanked him for everything that he taught you in the field. Not even one mention of the special things you shared whenever the sun is hiding. And on top of that, you called him general before you say your goodbye.

And on your wedding day. You were wearing a traditional chinese wedding dress and wearing a beautiful smile because finally you will meet what your ancestors have matched you with.

But just like that cold night beside the river, you waited and waited and waited.... for nothing. For your groom did not show up.

For Kun did not attend his own wedding not knowing that you were the bride.

You were both completely clueless that you were meant to be.

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thewalkingdead-imagines · 3 years

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TWD - Negan Imagine ~ “Find Me”

Imagine about the 18th episode of season 10

Summary: Maggie’s arrival in Alexandria puts a strain on Negan and the Reader’s relationship, that feeds off their worst fears and forces them to work through their pain and panic about their future together

Dusk was falling over Alexandria, lulling it slowly but surely into its mellow, dusty blue light. The sun had entirely sunken behind the treeline by now, leaving the air stripped off its warmth and brisk as it flowed into the small woodhouse by the walls. Negan had driven his last nail into the planks of the damaged house merely a half hour ago, frowning and unusually quiet since the moment Maggie and her son had walked into Alexandria. He’d barely said a thing since then and neither had you, too tense and shocked even though both of you had known that this moment would come one day or another. With a deep sigh, you moved in to start and collect the medical utensils you’d just used on your last patient, hoping that preparing dinner back at your house would allow Negan to distract himself a little. The loud squeaking of the wooden floor planks made you flinch up slightly and shoot your glance towards the open door in a split second as a figure shielded the last light from falling inside. “Hey”, Daryl grumbled as he glimpsed at you and raised his hands slightly in response to your reaction,”Just me.” “Oh hi”, you said, straightening yourself up from your crouched position over the table,”Sorry, I was just surprised. Thought I was the only one left here.” Daryl nodded slightly, his eyes wandering over the table with the last meds that you had to pack back up again before he looked back up. “There’s still someone at the infirmary?”, he asked, shaking his head slightly as you started to look him over, intuitively searching for any injuries or wounds on him that needed need treatment,“Not for me, for the newbies.” Maggie’s group. For a moment, you were a little startled before you caught yourself again and started to nod as you moved in to lay a bunch of bandages back inside the bag. “Yeah, Steve usually takes that shift so he should still be there for some time”, you said, gulping slightly as you tried to act as casual as you could, though this whole situation made you nothing but tense, “It’s only him though. Is a lot of care needed?” “Nah, they’re mostly fine...Maggie just settled ‘em down in one of the houses”, he mumbled with a slight shake of his head, before it got quiet for a moment and the question you’d felt pressing you from within finally slipped out of your lips. “Who exactly are they by the way?”, you asked, glimpsing at Daryl who visibly seemed to tense up,”I’m just curious.” Shifting from foot to foot Daryl looked away from you, his glance bouncing around the room before he cleared his throat slightly. “Her people. Ran into their community years back and lived there till some psychos destroyed it...Came back here to get a new safe place”, he grumbled as his eyes finally landed back on you and he rubbed his hand tensely over his arm, “One of ‘em followed them back here, killed a couple when we were outside until we could get him...that’s why we’ve been out there for longer, made sure that all of ‘me are gone.” You only nodded as you listened to the story, trying by all means to not show how tense you actually were. What had happened out there must have been horrible, and you had never been against taking people into Alexandria, but there was something about this all that rubbed you the wrong way. Maggie was only back because her old community got attacked and they needed a new place. She left for years and was only back because of these events and directly rolled into the place as if she owned it, as if bringing a bunch of new people didn’t need to at least be talked about with the council, just to clear things up. Maybe you were being oversensitive when it came to her, maybe not, but the thought that she might try to hurt Negan’s position within this community after leaving for years and only coming back because her new place failed to persevere brought a whole new wave of suspense and a sense of anger over you. “You’re done for the day?”, Daryl asked after you’d become quiet for a moment, visibly sunken into your thoughts. “Yeah I’m just finishing that up and then I’ll get back home”, you said, nodding towards the bag and brushing the tense feelings and thoughts out of the way for a moment as Daryl tilted his head and brought them right back with merely two words. “Negan’s there?”

“Yeah”, you only nodded, trying to act as if you hadn’t heard the slight stinger in his voice. You weren’t in the mood for this type of discussion, especially not now and not with him. ”Finished his work and already wanted to prepare some dinner.” “Things about him aren’t decided yet, y’know that right?” You’d known that he’d say something like this. You’d known it and still it got you more worked up than you already were. “I know that we can use any helping hand to built Alexandria back up”,you said, trying to keep your cool even though you could hear your own voice shaking slightly with suspense ,”And Negan has two healthy and strong hands that are pretty much needed right now.” Just like they were needed to kill Alpha. You suppressed this last part, for now. You knew your half brother more than well enough to know which kind of comments would make him shut down immediately and though there was an urge in you to repeat once more for him what would have happened to all these places without Negan’s help, you refrained from it. You wouldn’t shy away to throw it at him if things got more serious, but this right now was not the place or time. “We didn’t get to have these type of things for all these last years... we’re just enjoying whatever we can get”, you only added, calmer now and a bit more conciliable though that didn’t let the slight frown on Daryl’s face to vanish. “Well”, he grumbled, glimpsing at you through the brown strands of hair that fell into his face,”Do it for as long as you can.” Clenching your jaw you stared at him, growing more hostile with every passing second. That remark wasn’t needed, he could have just kept it for himself, just like you had done it for the sake of the moment. You could feel the anger starting to built up within you, starting to push you more and more back into your defensive mode as you let out a sharp breath. “He’s earned his spot”, you said, throwing in the last salve that had laid on the table into the bag before you shut it and glanced back up at Daryl,”So I hope that we can do it for a very long time.” A mere huff fell from his lips and he only nodded before he started to walk back towards the door and grumbled his last words to you. “See you around.”

The encounter with Daryl left you with even more tense than you already had been since the moment Maggie had walked back into Alexandria, so much that you hurried to get out of the house and walk back home as soon as Daryl was gone. The cool evening air barely helped cooling yourself down as well as the worries that kept on pressing in on you, trying to creep back into your head and turn everything upside down. A thick sigh left your lips as you moved from the grassy underground that surrounded the houses by the wall onto the blacktop of the street and passed by the last few workers who were out here, doing their job. A few of them carried wood towards the other side of Alexandria where the walkers had left a smaller hole in the wall that still needed to be fixed and a few others carried shovels and a small wheelbarrow that was filled with some unearthed wildflowers towards the graveyard that had been damaged by the walking dead as well. A tight breath left your lips as you walked past it, watching the workers move into the back where most graves still needed to be fixed with new or fixed crosses and flowers, and yet it wasn’t any of those graves that made you halt, but one in the front. It was the freshest grave, the cross already fixed and with new flowers already planted by its side and even from your spot on the street you were able to read the name of your friend that was carved into the light wood. You missed him. You barely had time to grieve and process what Dante had done to him, nor had you been able to realize that he was gone. During the last days, you’d often found yourself turning around in the infirmary, wanting to ask him something only to realize that you would never have the chance to do so again. Things at the infirmary were working fine, but it wasn’t the same, especially because you hadn’t just lost a colleague but a friend, one of the only people who’d never judged or distrusted you because of your relationship to Negan. Someone who you’d been able to talk about to about random things, whether it was about the infirmary and medicine, stuff that was going on in Alexandria or anything that just seemed interesting at the moment. Now, whenever you seemed to talk to someone it lead back to your relationship, to you having to defend it as well as Negan’s new found freedom, just like with Daryl just now. You were tired of it, of these discussions that were always the same and of the helplessness to not be able to decide what was happening in your life. All you wanted was to live peacefully with Negan in that house and built something up with him. You didn’t ask for more, just that. A tight breath left your lips as you glimpsed at the grave again, trying to keep a lump from growing in your throat as your eyes caught the tiny teddy bear by the cross Rosita must have put there with Coco. “Fuck”, you mumbled to yourself, trying to blink the first tears away that had shot into your eyes before you forced yourself to move further down the street, trying to keep your mind from traveling into darker places, places that would tell you that Siddiq’s grave and the graves of all these other people were only proof of how easy it was to still lose loved ones at any given moment. Of how easy it still was for you to lose Negan. Though you only wanted to come home as fast as you could, you took the extra route around the lake in Alexandria’s midst, trying to let the walking and the colder growing air calm your head down and snap back to normal. Unsurprisingly, it only helped semi-well and you still felt tense when you walked up the porch of your home, only held together by the thought to enjoy any time you could get with Negan in here. “I’m home”, you called out as soon as you shut the door with a small thud behind you and felt the scent of Negan’s dinner fill the air. “Hey Baby”, you heard him call back as you found him standing by the stove, frying some vegetables in the pan along with the portion of boar that you’d gotten after a group went out to hunt yesterday. “Smells good”, you said, letting your bag down to the floor before you moved in to wrap your arms around Negan from behind and peeked at the simmering meal. “Sure hope it also tastes good”, he said, forcing up a smile that broke through the tension that still visibly laid over his face as he turned just enough to press a small kiss over your lips. “I’m sure it will”, you mumbled back, nuzzling your nose into the fabric of his shirt while you could feel his tense body shifting slightly. A small groan left his lips as he flexed his back and shoulders a little, tensed up not only due to the Maggie’s reappearance but also the work he’d done all day. “You wanna go take a bath together later on?”, you asked, peaking up at him as you loosened your embrace around him to stroke your hand softly over his strained shoulders, hoping that the bath could be yet another distraction for the both of you,”can do wonders.” “Yeah”,you only heard Negan say with a nod, no cocky grin or wolfish remark as usual, and even though it was a ridiculously small detail, its absence only showed you more how fraught he truly was. ”I think the food is done.”

Oddly silent you moved over with him to the already set table and got some of the food onto both of your plates and started to eat, though neither of you seemed truly hungry after today’s events. You tried to get something down, but the suspense that filled the room was so palpable that it closed up your throat and weighed so heavily down on you that you found yourself more poking into our food than actually eating it. It was the same for Negan, he was barely eating and what concerned you more, he wasn’t talking at all. The suspense-filled silence seemed to take up everything and kept you locked into your spot, unsure of what do do or say while Negan only seemed to tense up more with every passing minute until his voice cut through the silence. “That kid has no Dad ‘cause of me.” Your glance shot up to him the moment he spoke it out, feeling your heart sinking as you watched him gulping thickly without looking up once, he only stared at the wood of the table as if it was the only thing keeping him from breaking. A trembling breath fell from your lips as you slowly moved in and grasped his hand, squeezing it softly as you tried to find the right words without making the situation harder than it already was. “There’s a lot that lead up to that point, it wasn’t just you”, you mumbled, only to see Negan’s eyes shooting up to you while a thick huff left his lips. “Well I was the one swinging the bat, wasn’t I?” “You thought that we’d killed a whole outpost of people just to steal supplies.” Your eyes were locked onto his as you spoke, and though you tried to keep your voice firm you were insecure and unsure of how to go on as well. You were aware of the shit Negan had done in the past, but he’d paid his price and suffered enough having to work through them in these years down in the cell and you didn’t want him to fall into these deep holes again, nor did you want to lose the view for the bigger picture. A lot of things had went down back then, and not only Negan had made mistakes. ”You did those things in that night because of it and you didn’t even know she was pregnant”, you added, giving his hand another soft squeeze, “Not saying it was right but we all did shitty things back then that lead to a whole lot of deaths and destruction.” “Doesn’t change that I’m ultimately the one who made that kid fatherless.” His voice was rasp but harsh as he shook his head and moved his hand out of your grasp, running it down his face as he let out another deep sigh. “I don’t even fucking know how to feel about that myself”, he scoffed as he stared back down at the table,”But I sure as shit know that me delivering the hits in the end is all that counts to them”, “It shouldn’t...we’ve all taken the life of someone who was a loved one to someone else”, you mumbled after a moment of silence, starting to poke back into your food as if it would help you handle this while your voice became more tense,“Don’t wanna know how many kids ended up without a parent because of the things we did at that outpost or anywhere else.” “Well, thats not how anybody out there’s gonna see it.” “Yeah then it would be time to hold up a mirror for them”, you said, feeling the restlessness and anger Daryl had whirled up back at the woodhouse creep back up, “You know what Rick would’ve done with a group if that outpost had been ours and it had been our people that had been slaughtered in their sleep?” A heavy but trembling breath rumbled through your chest as you looked over at Negan, growing more agitated as you thickly gulped. “He surely wouldn’t have just killed two. Gracie’s only here and grows up to be Aaron’s daughter because Rick killed her birth father. Her mother was likely killed too when they attacked that other outpost during the war. It’s funny how no one ever talks about that”, the words just flowed out of your lips, fueled by the pent up desperation and even fear that had simmered within you, “So if anyone tries to make you look like a monster or whatever I won’t shy away anymore to repeat these things for them...Everybody has done horrible shit. You, Rick, everybody’s who’s inside these walls including me.” Negan didn’t even look up at you, he just kept staring at the table as you placed your fork next to the plate, almost letting it fall with a clatter against the ceramic as you felt the hunger leaving your body once for all, replaced by an upset feeling that was spreading through you and let you heat up. “I won’t just let Maggie or whoever else try to make them turn on you again after you’ve earned more trust”, you said, audibly stressed,”The trust that you deserve after ripping your ass off for them.” A thick sigh left your lips as you stared at Negan, just hoping he’d look up at you while the ugly mix of helplessness, fear and anger crawled further up your body and made pinch the bridge of your nose for a moment as you felt them taking you over. “I’m just sick of these fucking new things that always pop up when things seem to get better”, it left your lips more broken, trembling and yet angrier than before as Negan’s glance finally shot up to meet yours, though the icy stare within them was the opposite of what you had wished for. “Well then maybe you should reconsider being with me”, he scoffed, hitting you with shock and confusion as you furrowed your brows at him. “What kind of comment is that?” “’Cause this is how it’s always going to be”, he snapped, the pent up tension step for step breaking out if him as you still stared wide eyes at him,”We’ll never find our goddamn peace and all these people are always gonna hate me and the fact that we’re together.” “Not everybody hates you”,you quickly retorted, for now trying to push that shitty remark away from you and onto the fact that he was scared too,”There are people who’ve grown to trust you more and my colleagues at the infirmary are all good with you being out and working, and I’ll do my best to keep it this way.” “Well but those who are in higher positions do”, he let out, a bitter chuckle falling from his lips as he shook his head before his cold stare landed back onto you while his voice grew louder ,”Aaron was ready to execute my ass and he’d still do it just given the chance. Same fucking shit with Nora and Kyle. Those who spoke up against hanging me were Siddiq and Laura and they’re fucking dead now too. Maggie’s ready to slaughter my ass and your brother would be just fine with it as well. Things wont’t stay the same as they were during the last fucking days and it sure as shit won’t get better now.” Staring at him you let out another tight breath, still holding onto your last piece of hope despite your own fears as you gulped thickly and shook your head softly. “We can’t say that for sure. Gabriel’s more on our side. Maggie isn’t a member of the council and Daryl is already being more accepting of you than he was before-“ “Goddamnit (Y/N)”, Negan’s booming voice suddenly cut you off, loud enough to make you flinch and stare wide-eyed at him as he rose up from his chair and glared down at you,”Don’t you get it?!” Your heart started to pump harshly against your chest as his loud voice sounded through the room, and you could feel yourself becoming overwhelmed with the situation while you watched the anger in him skyrocketing. “What we had these last few damn days wasn’t real, we lived in that small fucking time bubble of delusion and we both knew it would burst as soon as Maggie’d walk through these fucking gates”, he was yelling by now, his voice so heavy it made his chest shake while you were starting to tremble and felt tears shooting into your eyes as you stared up at him, still too shocked and startled to say anything while his yelling voice hit you again,”This was us pretending. We’ll never have that kind of life.” Tears were blurring your view now as you meet his glance, pumped up with fright, anger and desperation as you let out an upset sound. “I’m just trying to not give up”, you scoffed, though your voice was breaking as you stood up from your spot and pushed the chair angrily against the table as you glared at your husband ,”And don’t you fucking yell at me.” The first tears were rolling down your face as you turned away from him and and stumped towards the kitchen door, trembling breaths leaving your lips as you brushed them off your cheeks, “Screw this.” You were shaking as you rushed up the stairs, your face crunched up in pain and covered with tears that were running down your skin as you could still hear his voice booming through your head. Negan never yelled at you. The last time you could remember him coming close to it was shortly after he got locked up, when helplessness and jealousy were eating him up. It had never happened again, not for all these years and the fact that it had happened now rattled you. He knew how much you hated being yelled at, he knew how much your past had sensitized you for it and you didn’t know how to handle Negan’s nor your your own emotions right now. You were both strained, both scared and it was your only explanation for his lash out. He could get loud, you’d seen it at the Sanctuary when he shut down Simon but he never lost control of himself during these moments. Not like now. When he yelled, he stayed under control and got back to business right after, so his lash out now, especially despite knowing how much you despised it was only proof of how scared and upset he truly was. This realization didn’t help though that the loudness of his voice and the cruelty of his words were pushing in on you as you let the door of your room fall with a loud thud into its lock and felt your emotions overwhelm you. Heated up and trembling more and more tears started to shoot back into your eyes and rolled down your face as you rounded the bed and plopped down onto your side, feeling the mattress giving slightly in below you as sniffles left your lips. You were scared, you were so unbelievably scared. Scared of losing everything you’d worked for with Negan, scared of not ever finding your peace and worst of all, scared of losing Negan to a vengeful Maggie who was out for blood. If anything, walking past the graveyard had made this ugly feeling of fright only grow and you could feel the things you’d tried to shut out for the last days rolling over you. Being scared of losing Negan after he saved Lydia. Living with the fear of not knowing if he was okay or even alive during the time he was gone. Being nearly poisoned with Dante’s water. Losing Siddiq. Constantly having to persuade others, especially Daryl, that Negan was up to good out there and wasn’t a threat, even during your time at the Hilltop. Finally getting Negan back and being glad to have him in safety and freedom only to have it threatened again with Maggie’s sudden reappearance merely two days later. You were exhausted. This all had happened in such a small time span and you were unable to process it properly, nor the fear that you were feeling right now. You were full on sobbing at this point, shaking and crouched over, with your elbows pressing into your thighs and your head buried into your hands that were practically soaked in your tears You couldn’t have her try to hurt or even kill him now only because he wasn’t in the cell anymore and stuck on the verge of taking his own life. You couldn’t keep on feeling so scared and worried all the time. You just wanted to find your peace. Slowly, you felt your body growing too exhausted to keep the sobs coming and instead, sniffles and small whimpers were only falling from your lips as you found yourself staring down at your wet hands, fumbling on them in a desperate try to distract yourself from your cruel thoughts. You weren’t even sure how much time exactly had passed since you’d stormed up here, your only indicator of time was the darkness that had by now taken up the firmament and the lamp on the nightstand you’d been forced to turn on, whose faint light was now falling onto you, your hands and the small diamonds of your wedding ring that glimmered in the light. You silenced yourself as well as you could for a moment to hear the rustling that was coming up from the kitchen and living room. Negan had been quiet for a whole long time down there and now you could hear him clearly moving around. A shivering breath left your lips, unsure of what you should expect to happen before you started to hear heavy footsteps coming up the stairs, slow but steady as they started to get closer to your room. Gulping thickly you finally heard the creaking of the door as it slowly opened, while you still sat there with your back turned to him as he moved inside and softly shut the door behind him. For just another moment it stayed silent, only the slight squeaking of the floorboards below Negan’s weight was audible before you heard him speak up. ”I’m sorry”, he said, his voice heavy with guilt, so much you could hear a tremble through it,”I didn’t mean to lash out like that...I don’t know what’s going on with me, I-” He broke off, a shivering sigh filling his lips as you could hear him making a few, slow and careful steps towards the bed before he stopped again. ”You were just trying and I went full asshole...I-...I shouldn’t have yelled at you. That was a fucking dick move...I’m sorry, I really am.” You didn’t look up yet, you were still fumbling on your hands, though you could tell that he meant it, you just didn’t know how to behave either. “I get it if you don’t wanna talk or want me to fuck off”, he breathed out, his voice still slightly trembling as he let out another sigh,”I do, I-” With the shaking of your head he halted quickly, growing silent again as you let out a small sigh. You didn’t want to fight with him. That really was the very last thing. You just wanted to talk it out and get all the shit you both had off your chests. In the end, you knew this all had only happened because you were both scared to death and while you knew that this wouldn’t just vanish you couldn’t have this fear hurt your relationship. Slowly, you watched Negan round the bed from the corner of your eye, halting shortly before he got to you and gestured towards the spot next to you. ”Can I?” A nod of yours was enough to make Negan sit down beside you, a thick sigh falling from his lips as you could feel his glance swaying over you. The lump in your throat was quick to grow bigger again as you bit your lip and felt tears starting to fill your eyes as you finally glimpsed up at him. “I just want this fucking nightmare to end”, you said, your voice shivering and weak as your glance met his eyes that were bleary and slightly reddened as well ,”once one thing is done the next shit’s waiting for us. I hate this and I fucking hate having to have this goddamn discussion over and over again.” A heavy sigh fell from your lips as you brushed the dampness off your cheeks, sadly sure that you’d soon feel new tears running over them while your voice started to break as soon as you spoke back up again, “I don’t want Maggie to whirl everything back up and mess things up for us.” With knitted brows and sad eyes Negan glimpsed at you, pressing his lips onto one another before a stressed sound fell from his mouth. “I don’t know about the latter one but I’m sure she’s gonna whirl things up again”, he sighed, stroking over his beard while a thick gulp travelled down his throat,”Wish I could say otherwise.” You softly nodded as you could feel the tears in your eyes welling over, just in the very moment Negan reached up to stroke over your back, gently while you could tell that he was trying to hold his tears back. “But she can’t just walk in here and play boss..she’s been through a lot and that’s horrible but as soon as she’s back everybody acts as if she’s the center of the universe. Her pain isn’t more important than the one of others”, you let out, sniffling as you could feel yourself falling back into that hole of fear and panic that made you rattled and got you to all worked up again. “Carol has gone through losing a child far more than once, Michonne lost Carl and Rick, and Judith and to grow up without them”, you said, hot tears streaming down your face as it crunched up in pain and your voice grew shakier with every breath,”I’ve seen my damn family being ripped apart all at once, and you had to watch when that goddamn cancer killed Lucille.” You could see Negan nodding, could see a single tear rolling down your face as you sniffled and breathed sharply in, trying to keep your voice up even though the lump in your throat kept on growing. “Nobody’s expecting her to forgive or forget but she doesn’t get to make decisions about you, not after she just fucked off for six years and just came back cause that other community got screwed over”, you said, trying to keep talking in between the shaky breaths that shook through you before your fear took hold of you once for all and you could feel it breaking out of you as the stinging pain made itself a home inside your head. “I’m trying to see things positive but I...I’m scared”, you breathed out, your face twisting in pain as you felt yourself choking up,”I’m so so fucking scared.” You gasped for air as you could feel the thick lump in your throat keep on pressing in on you, felt the skin under your eyes becoming sore from the tears while Negan moved in, stopping his movements over your back to wrap his arm around your waist and pull you closer. “I’m scared that she’ll try to make them turn on you again and hurt you, I’m scared that I she’ll try to kill-”,your voice broke off, stopped by the sobs that started to shake through you again ,”I’m so scared of losing you, I-“ You broke completely off at that point, only able to cry now and let it all out instead of saying anything more. Negan moved in to hold your shaking body closer, grasp our legs to swing them over his lap and bring you into his embrace. You could feel him shaking too, could feel his heavy breaths and the harsh falling and rising of his chest as he cradled you against his body. You buried your head into the curve of his neck, just for once allowing all the pain and fear to flow out of your body with the sobs that erupted through you. You clung onto him as if you’d risk to lose him if you’d let go, sniffling and crying until your head was buzzing while Negan tightened his grasp on you and pressed a soft kiss against your temple. “I won’t let it come that far”, he mumbled against your skin, his voice strained though he did his best to keep it up ,”I got no damn clue how our life’s gonna turn out but I’m a tough motherfucker, right? I won’t die. I even survived those skin freaks.” He let out a shaky chuckle, audibly trying to keep his shit together for you within these moments though you deep down knew that he’d break down too. Your sobs grew quieter again and turned back into sniffles as you held onto him, desperately trying to believe his words before you slowly moved back, just enough to look at him and see the tears that were also burning in his eyes. Sniffling, you moved your hands to cup his face, stroking your thumbs over his wetted cheeks and his stubble while his bleary eyes ran over you and his arms were still keeping you close. A thick sigh left his lips as he lowered his glance for a moment, gulping thickly before he glimpsed back up at you and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know how to feel”, he mumbled, tears still filling his eyes up to the rim. “I feel so fucking odd...some guilt, I-”,he breathed, stopping as he shook his head and the first tears started to fall down his cheeks again,”I had so much time to think about the shit I did back then, how fucking wrong I saw things, I-...I know we’ve been through this when I hit rock bottom in that cell but...” He pressed his lips onto one another before they fell open with another shivering sigh and his teary eyes fell back on you,”There are still moments when I ask myself how you were even able to fall in love with me back then.” You could feel your heart breaking all over again as you looked at your husband, tearing up again as you stroked the tears softly off his cheeks and gulped thickly. “I already saw the man in you that you are right now”, you mumbled, sniffling as Negan’s brows knitted again and it looked like something hit him just in this moment. New tears started to roll down his cheeks as a small whimper fell from his lips and you leaned closer, sure to have him look at you. “You’re sweet, and you’re loving and protective and the world just screwed with you and made you believe that you couldn’t keep others alive without this shit”, you mumbled, brushing your thumbs again over his wetted cheeks,”But you did your best to get your head on straight.” “I just, I know what it’s like to grow up without a Dad and I-”, he mumbled with trembling lips,”I don’t know what to fuckin’ think or feel or-” “That’s okay”,you said as you could hear his voice break off,”You don’t need to put a finger on that.” Negan slowly nodded, lowering his glance for a moment as he let out a shivering breath and wrapped his arms tighter around you. “But there was no way for you to know”, you added, a feeling within you urging you to make sure that he knew that despite everything,”You didn’t deliberately kill a kid’s father. Fuck, you didn’t go for Rick that night because of Carl.” Negan’s glance was still lowered as you gulped and shifted slightly. “I know what happened was shit, I-”,you started, trying to just keep Negan from falling into that hole again that was threatening to eat him up ,”Regardless of what happened that night, you did everything in your power to show that you’re good at heart. You can’t make the past unhappen but you can change the present, and you have.” A sniffling fell from Negan’s lips as he glimpsed back up at you, yet another tear falling down his face as you leaned in closer to him. “You have”, you assured with another nod, leaning in to press a delicate kiss over his lips, allowing it to linger for a moment and let Negan melt against you before you backed just enough off to look at him and saw the doubt that was still filling his face. “I’m not sure if it’s enough, or if it matters-”, he broke off, his face scrunching up again as you let go of his face and instead wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug. Just like it had happened with you before, it was breaking out of Negan now and you could feel your emotions overwhelming you all over again as you heard your husband’s sobs that broke your heart and made that stinging pain shoot through you once more. Holding onto each other you sat on the bed, just letting it all out. Just like the both of you actually needed to. During the past time it had nearly always been either one of you trying to be strong for the other as they broke down and now the both of you just held onto each other and allowed yourselves to feel your emotions hit you with all their force. It hurt, it hurt like hell but deep down you both knew that you needed this to unburden you, to free yourselves at least from the pressure and pain that had been weighing down on you for too long. It didn’t know how long you sat there like that on the bed, for you long you held on to each other until the sobs and whimpers got silent and you were just cuddled up against one another. Breathing deeply through you felt Negan cradling you against his body, pressing another kiss against your temple, still remaining quiet for a moment before he spoke up, his voice still strained. “Does that offer for a bath still stand?”, he asked, backing slightly away, just enough to look at you and move his hand up to wipe the last bit of remaining wetness of your cheeks,”I think we could use that.” Slowly, you nodded, taking only another moment before you moved your legs off his lap and stood up, groaning slightly as you needed to feel your body adjusting to standing again after remaining in nothing else but an embryo position for the last while. Negan moved up as well, stretching his long limbs before he grasped your hand and moved it up to place a kiss on its back, giving you another loving look before he lead you towards the bathroom.

Hot water quickly started to pelt into the bathtub and filled it up step by step, while Negan moved towards the cabinet by the sinks, to look for some bath oils or bombs before he looked up into the mirrors and let out a strained chuckle. “Fuck we both look puffed up like a baboon’s ass”, he mumbled, looking from the mirror back at you as you let out a small laugh, seeing your mirror image that looked just like you expected. Your eyes were red and puffy, already a little less swollen than they must have been back at the bed but still more than enough to know how long the both of you had sat there and let your emotions take themselves out on you. Negan let out a small groan as he crouched down to move through the stuff in the cabinet, pushing a couple bottles of shampoo to the side before he got a look at the bathing supplies and eventually pulled a bathbomb out that was a wild swirled mix of blue and purple. “This one’s with lavender”, he said, getting back on his feet as he held it up for you,”Think we could use some of that calming shit, huh?” You quickly nodded, very much agreeing with him on this. Your head was still buzzing, clearly exhausted by all the crying and you could need something as calming as the scent of lavender to soothe you a little. Moving back towards you Negan plopped the little ball into the water, quickly seeing it go out in all of its color variety as it spread through the water that kept on streaming into the tub. “Looks like unicorn puke”, Negan joked, nodding towards the lilac water and the bubbles the spread over its surface and got bigger and bigger with every passing moment. “Yeah, it does...doesn’t smell like it tho”, you mumbled with a small chuckle back, slowly freeing yourself from the shroud of exhaustion the while in the bedroom had put on you. Things obviously still weren’t the way you both wanted them, but you felt a little less bottled up and tense, and most importantly less burdened after giving your emotions the valve they needed. ”And it has surprise bubbles. That’s nice”, you added, nodding towards the bubbles that had by now taking in all of the surface while Negan nodded with a crooked grin and started to peel the clothes off his body. “C’mon let’s get outta that shit”, he grumbled as he pulled his shirt over his head and pushed his pants down his hips while you started to do the same, peeling yourself out of your clothes step by step until you could only feel the warm bathroom air covering your skin. Groaning, Negan crouched a little down and leaned over to shut the tap off and dip his hand into the bathwater, testing it before he looked with a small grin over his shoulder “Don’t wanna burn my dick.” “Yeah I can’t have that”, you teased back, bringing the grin on his face to widen a little and bring some warmth back into you after seeing him so devastated all evening long. “It’s good though, we can get in”, he mumbled before he carefully stepped into the water and let out a satisfied groan as soon as he lowered his body into the tub and stretched his hand out for you to join him. Quickly, you took it, moving in and feeling the warmth of the water surrounding your feet before you lowered yourself to sink in between Negan’s legs. “This is nice”, you mumbled as the warm water and its soothing scent started to surround you and Negan moved in to gently pull you against his wet chest. His arms wrapped around you as he nuzzled his nose into the curve of your neck and breathed deeply out, cradling you softly while it got quiet again and a silence set in. You didn’t break it, didn’t fall back with him into your usual goofiness that you’d have in these moments but instead, just closed your eyes and enjoyed his closeness, his warmth and the hot water. That was all that you needed right now, a break of everything that was currently happening around you and a relief of the ordeal you’d both put yourselves through this evening, and for once, it felt like you were truly able to focus and think about nothing else but this bath and the man who was holding you in his arms. You just remained like that with him, only feeling him scooping some water over your shoulders and arms from time to time or drawing small, lazy patterns over your skin with his fingers, though mostly, you just laid cuddled up to each other within the water’s warmth. You enjoyed it, all of it, Negan’s touches, the soothing scent and the hotness of the water until it started to grow cold and you switched it for the warmth of the bed. Held by Negan, with your back pressed against his chest and his arms wrapped around you you found yourself laying underneath the sheets, feeling him nuzzling his nose against your neck while your fingers softly and lightly brushed over his arm, just as he liked it. You were still soothing one another, still trying to reassure one another that you’d figure things out along the way, step by step no matter what the world would throw at you, just like you had always done. With a sleepy sigh you felt Negan adjusting himself a little, pressing a delicate kiss against the side of your neck before he interrupted the caresses of your fingers and moved his arm up, just enough for his hand to gently grasp your face and make you look at him in the faint moon light that streamed into the room. “We got each other, always”, he mumbled as his thumb softly stroked over your cheek and his drowsy eyes softened as he glanced down at you,”No matter what happens. No matter who tries to fuck with us...we got each other.”

#Negan #twd #the walking dead #negan fic #negan imagine #twd imagine #negan x reader #the walking dead imagine #negan imagines #negan fics #negan angst #twd 10x18 #negan's network #nts #negan series #twd imagines #thewalkingdead-imagines #negan fluff

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zeta-in-de-walls · 3 years

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I've seen a couple of posts about c!tommy that are saying that his arc is getting bad because he doesn't really heal and it's just more trauma. Imo, I do feel like he is learning to move on from the trauma and grow and that his arc is actually getting better, but I wanted to know your opinion on this! :D

Hey, cheers for the ask! I won’t lie, I’m a huge fan of Tommy and his arc seriously appeals to me so I totally don’t think it’s getting bad at all! Heh, this turned out long - is it clear how much I love discussing his character arc?

That said, it does run the risk of having too much suffering with not enough relief. It’s hard to see this character, who’s awesome and trying to be good and get better get continually beaten down by the narrative. It’s why Doomsday was so painful. We want to see him prevail, spreading great messages about how perseverance is worth it, that you can escape your abusers, you can heal and that there is hope for you. It’s a great and encouraging sort of story and so we don’t want excessive suffering. I don’t believe its gone too far myself, while bad things continue to happen, I don’t get the impression that its a bleak world and that Tommy won’t find happiness. It is a worry though, especially with how dark the prison visit was. And people who have less of a threshold for angsty story lines than me might already feel like its too much.

But yeah, outside of the worry of his storyline itself becoming too bleak, I never got the impression that his character arc was bad. Yes, he has lots of trauma. Yes he’s also had tons of development. They’re not mutually exclusive!

If anything, I love seeing Tommy’s development through the suffering. To compare his exile with the prison arc, you can see how much better Tommy has learned to handle things. After some time in exile, he began to see Dream as his friend and believed everyone else no longer cared about him where Tommy never let himself trust Dream for a moment during his prison stay and upon getting out was way better about opening up to people. like he sees Tubbo and Ranboo and feels like he’s been replaced but avoids lashing out about it and a day later talks to them both about his worries and Tubbo tells him he’s being ridiculous and that of course he’s not being replaced. And writes a cry for help in Puffy’s therapy office and is overjoyed when she responds offering him help and support. Even with Jack, he was so clearly wishing to avoid an argument, he hadn’t been looking to antagonise him but had wanted to see his old friend be happy to see him.

Tommy’s a character who gets hurt a lot by people he trusts and he has dark moments but its so good seeing him continue to care about things and open up to others. And its also fascinating to see the effects all the trauma has had on him, like how he’s afraid of caring about things as he fears Dream will destroy the things he loves. How he seems afraid to be himself at times, because he’s somewhat internalised the idea that people don’t like him being himself eg how afraid he was to build a tower out of his favourite blocks and how odd he acts about stealing. Him not wanting to destroy the egg because he’s afraid of being the cause of another war. How he wants to make amends with others like Techno, such as sending him a hotel invitation rather than holding a grudge once more.

Tommy has had such an interesting mixture of responses to trauma and each new traumatic incident affects him in a different way. Like his response to Henry’s death being to focus his emotions on being angry at Dream. Sam’s failure to protect him from Dream being to want to find a new warden for the prison because he can’t trust Sam to do his job anymore.

Tommy wanting to destroy the knowledge of revival because he feels no one should ever possess that sort of power. Tommy’s thoughts on power are super-interesting as he’s been a victim in a game of powerful figures and yet doesn’t really seek power for himself, rather believing that no person should have power over another. Tommy doesn’t even want to seem powerful, hiding away his resources rather than flaunting them. Tommy is one of those characters who has never been powerful in his own right - his strength having always come from drawing on others. It’s fitting therefore that he has such a fear of loneliness and others not caring about him. It’s a great strength and flaw, his longing for inclusion. And absolutely devastating how in his exile he developed such a lack of self-worth.

Tommy’s trauma has brought out some of his worse traits - the way he can lash out at others, the darker more jealous side to his clingyness, the way he can be driven by emotions and fixates on certain goals - but we’ve also seen him dealing with them in interesting ways.

I remember seeing a post saying something like, ‘Tommy has trauma instead of character development’ and I responded something along the lines of how Tommy has character development in spite of his trauma. I stand by that but also, I hate the way it implies that Tommy’s character arc is invalidated because it involves trauma. Like it’s not just angst, there’s so much to dig into, and some interesting character traits have been shown and revealed with Trauma and explored in an interesting way. Not all of it is positive - trauma is bad for a person and Tommy’s arc has made that clear. But there’s so much interesting stuff being shown that simplifying it to trauma is so reductive.

There’s trauma and suffering for sure, but that's not all it is and it fails to mention what an awesome job Tommy’s done of portraying the trauma and how it impacts his character. He doesn’t hold back on showing his character’s struggle but also makes it clear that it’s still Tommy, he’s still a funny guy who is looking for fun and has a host of problems but is far more than merely his bad experiences. It’s impacted him, but it’s far from all he is and all that motivates his character.

#replies #cheers for such an interesting ask!#tommyinnit #meta #analysis #aah is it clear how much i love his character?#its my favourite thing to analyse!#and i have so much to say #xD #no reductive takes here!#aaah watch me go on tangents about power and the struggle to reamin true to one's self

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asianhappinesss · 2 years

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Cute Programmer (2021)

Summary

After falling in love with genius programmer Jiang Yi Cheng, Lu Li enrols into the school he once studied at, and also took up the same major - calculus. Setting Jiang Yi Cheng as her role model in her heart, she achieves good grades in school. However after graduation, she did not expect that Jiang Yi Cheng's company does not recruit female employees. Lu Li decides to disguise as a man and enter the company. However, she met difficulty both in dealing with Jiang Yi Cheng's demands, as well as hiding her identity. Finally with her perseverance, she grabbed hold of an opportunity and managed to come to an agreement with Jiang Yi Cheng. The two would become a "contract couple" and stay together for one year. Slowly, Jiang Yi Cheng finds himself falling for Lu Li.

Review

This review may contain spoilers

Not Worth The Time

After watching all the 30 episodes of Cute Programmer, I can only conclude that there is nothing cute about this drama at all. I will try not to rant and be fair in my assessment but I really cannot recommend a watch for this one. There are a few reasons why which I will elaborate below. Anyway, this is not a cross-dressing romance drama like My Unicorn Girl even though it might look like one in the initial episode. Lu Li’s gender is already fully exposed by Episode 5 and the cross-dressing plot stops there. Therefore, if you like the female pretending to be male trope in your romance dramas, Cute Programmer will not be a good choice at all. Neither does it focus much on the programming aspect or the business side of things unlike My Bargain Queen. It is pure romance with the relationship between the leads being central to the whole drama. There is nothing wrong with a romance-driven drama except that everything just turns out to be mediocre in Cute Programmer. Recycled Plot The plot itself is a rehashed of common themes in the romance genre. So, you will find cross-dressing in the first few episodes, then a contract marriage and co-habitation followed by a jealous ex returning. If you have watched enough of Chinese rom-coms and romance dramas, I think you can pretty much get an idea of what Cute Programmer entails. While it is okay to have recycled plots, they must be done in a way that is sensible to viewers. For this drama, a lot of things don’t exactly appear as sensible or logical. Hence, you will have a cross-dresser masquerading as a male being able to get a job in a tech company without anyone questioning her gender. You will also have the female lead agreeing to marry the male lead when he obviously doesn’t even like her. Basically, it is the type of drama that you have to overlook the details if you want to enjoy it. I’m not too fussy about details at times but when other factors also start to weigh down the overall enjoyment of the story, that is when it goes downhill for me. Badly Written Characters I think the way the characters are written is the main turn off that kills this drama. Yi Cheng is someone who is childish and easily irritated. He is not evil or cruel. Conversely, he is a kind man behind all the harsh words and actions. However, he is also an insensitive fellow and lacks communication skills. So, some of his actions towards Lu Li border on petty bullying as he shows his irritation. Viewers’ patience with him will be further tested when his ex-girlfriend shows up as this will then shows his stupidity. Lu Li’s character is not much better. I wouldn’t say she is like a doormat but simply nonsensical. She has a long-term crush on Yi Cheng but to cross-dress as a man to join his company is simply silly. There is nothing in Yi Cheng that is worth hanging on to for 5 years as he doesn’t even know who she is before she joins the company. But Lu Li is made out to be a girl who is hopelessly in love who doesn’t mind marrying someone who doesn’t like her. She even tolerates his bad attitude towards her most of the time. I guess the redeeming quality in these 2 characters is that they do eventually grow to be more matured. But you will have to sit through more than 20 episodes to see that happen. Some of the supporting characters are no better. Gu Mo is a guy who would use his brother status to secretly scare away all of Xiao Qi’s suitors. And he has been doing that since her high school days without her knowledge to chase away his love rivals. I don’t know how this kind of controlling behavior could sound romantic but that is how it is in the drama. Leads Lack Chemistry Personally, I cannot detect enough chemistry between Xing Zhao Lin and Bambi Zhu for this romance drama to flourish. Sometimes, even with a simple plot, a sizzling chemistry can make a huge difference in a romance drama as can be seen in You Are My Glory and My Little Happiness. But the couple in my Cute Programmer simply fails to inspire. It is as if they are just going through the motions to deliver their lines without really

getting into the feeling of being lovers. I don’t know if it is the problem with the script, the badly written characters or the acting. Perhaps it is a combination of all 3. If the plot and characters are top notch, the average chemistry displayed could probably still pass muster. But when the other factors are equally mediocre, then the lack of chemistry becomes amplified here. My Verdict – Watch Something Else Instead Cuteness is certainly not the hallmark of this drama especially when you have a jealous ex lurking around for about 10 episodes. That is more annoyance than cuteness. There is not much of sugar and fluff either as the love is very much one-sided for three-quarters of the story. So, if you want to see cuteness and sweetness, you are much better off watching Forever And Ever or even a typical rom-com like Sweet Teeth. Having said that, I understand there are plenty of Xing Zhao Lin’s fans out there who might still give this a go. Well, if you reduce your expectations, this might still be watchable without too much complaints. As long as you can shy away from dissecting the characters’ antics and behaviors, this could work for you. Furthermore, if you see bickering, harmless jealousy, and childishness as romantic, then you would probably be able to enjoy it to a certain extent . For this Cute Programmer review, I would give it a score of 5.5/10. I’m not going to recommend a watch for this one unless you are a diehard fan of the leads. There are just too many weaknesses to drag the drama down that it is difficult to say that it is worth the time especially when it is 30 episodes long. The whole story is predictable and I don’t think it will resonate with the more matured viewers. If you are going to watch it, just think of it as pure entertainment and switch off your brain for better enjoyment!

#cdrama

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heavyarethecrowns · 3 years

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Kate Middleton: Prince William’s Decade-Long Mistake - Oct 2010

Who is Kate Middleton? After nearly 10 years of seeing Kate’s recorded behavior, this is my impression: Kate Middleton doesn’t care about any causes, charities or anything outside of living for pleasure. I doubt her ability to handle royal responsibilities – beyond dealing with privileges and paparazzi – because in the ten years the world has watched her, she hasn’t demonstrated she can take on anything but a royal c*ck and a jolly good time. While true, she isn’t married to William and isn’t in fact a royal (and may never be, for all we know), her perseverance implies she’s in it for the long haul and plans to become the Princess of Wales. As such, she should have taken these years to demonstrate to the world that, although she’s a common-bred, middle-class girl, she’s an exceptional lady who rises above the rest. But Kate has failed profoundly in that respect. The last thing the women of the public should be thinking when they see William’s marital choice is, “What on earth makes her so special? I could have done that/been in her place – and done it better! -Maybe I should have gone to St. Andrews!” But that’s what women, including myself, are lead to think of her. Coming from her background, as a common, everyday girl, it shows her complete lack of humility, and is borderline arrogant, for her to assume she can live like a spoiled brat who doesn’t need to prove herself. She enjoys a privileged life that she wasn’t born into – and for the life of many, we can’t understand why. Why was she chosen? Why not someone else? Why not a woman the vast majority can respect and admire? Let’s be honest here: William can have nearly anyone he wants – and he’s settling for this average circus monkey?

At first glance, Kate seemed like a well kept, nicely mannered woman – and well-suited for a royal position. In the first few years of her royal relationship, she shone as an attractive, educated, beautifully fashioned, friendly, and conservatively-behaved young lady. But that was then. Now, upon looking back at Kate’s near-decade as an unofficial princess-in-waiting, her behavior reveals her as a underwhelming choice for the monarchy. She’s demonstrated that she’s far from exceptional, and that aside from her pursuit of a crown, she’s a disappointing, arrogant underachiever of little substance.

Ambitious In All The Wrong Ways:

Those who know Kate often describe her as ambitious; and in the beginning, that’s the side of her the public got to see. Kate worked hard on her academics so she could attend the prestigious St. Andrews University, where William was also set to attend. While there, she met William and completed the same degree as him, in Art History. Following their graduations, William began the demanding military career he still pursues today. However, surprisingly, the once ambitious-seeming Kate did nothing: She remained jobless for nearly two years, living off of her parents (and William, I’m sure). Kate finally got a part-time job as an accessories buyer at the fashion chain, Jigsaw, but quit after only 11 months. Notably, rumors suggest Kate only got the job to passify Her Majesty, The Queen, who took notice that her grandson’s significant-other was a lazy freeloader. After that, she worked for her parent’s internet business, Party Pieces (which to many read like an unemployment cover-up). Apparently, Kate made updates to their website and took photos for it. That sounds pathetic and hardly full-time. Not to mention, Kate’s monthly getaways to exotic locations with William attest that her parents gave her an overwhelming amount of time off whenever she wanted it. That’s hardly a real job. And if that’s not disappointing enough, Kate quit the job all together in October of 2009 and has officially been doing nothing but shacking up with William while he pursues his career ever since. I’m sorry Katie dear, but for any 28 year old – especially a potential Queen of England – that’s absolutely not good enough.

There are several obvious problems with the reality of Kate’s ambitions (or lack thereof). She was ambitious about her education, but clearly didn’t want or need it for a career – So, what was she even at St. Andrews for, and why was she ambitious about getting there? She graduated from a top notch university, only to settle for unemployment and a job her parents provided? Logically, it’s mismatching for someone to aggressively pursue a top-tier education only to fall flat as a lazy, career-underachiever immediately and permanently thereafter. The fact that Kate did just that leads me, and countless others to believe she was only academically driven so she could put herself in William’s way and try to form a relationship with him. Also telling are the numerous reports by those close to Kate’s mother that Mrs. Middleton pushed her daughter’s attendance to St. Andrews in hopes of her becoming royalty.

Kate: The Attention-Loving Wild Child

When Kate’s not working – and that’s most of the time – she goes shopping, attends leisurely sporting and social events, and parties ’till her heart’s content in Britain’s most luxurious night spots (Paris Hilton style – ick). The photos of her nightlife are less than flattering – actually, they’re flat out embarrassing – especially for the potential next Princess and Queen of Wales. She often looks extremely intoxicated, and her attire and car-exiting-techniques have granted the paparazzi dozens of “crotch shots”.

[picapp align=”none” wrap=”false” link=”term=kate+middleton&iid=756945″ src=”http://view3.picapp.com/pictures.photo/image/756945/kate-middleton-birthday/kate-middleton-birthday.jpg?size=500&imageId=756945″ width=”234″ height=”151″ /] Kate characteristically grinning as she’s hounded by the paparazzi

Any other 28 year old woman would be focused on a career or starting a family – or both; But Kate just parties like she’s some rich 19 year old without any responsibilities. In fact, she’s only too happy to show that side of herself to the paparazzi – and the world. Her parents and William (taxpayer dollars) have financially supported her throughout her twenties – extravagant vacations included – and Kate’s habitual ear-to-ear smile indicates she’s loved every minute of it. As long as she’s attached to William, she doesn’t have a care in the world that other (common) women like her have – aside from her image, and she’s let that fall to the wayside. From the bright red coat she wore to William’s military graduation to the never-failing smile she wears for the paparazzi, Kate’s self-presentation says she loves being a celebrity and all eyes being on her. Unfortunately, Britain needs a princess who naturally exudes a respectable image when she provokes the world to look.

William’s Mistake – William’s Responsibility

I understand William’s need to pick a lady who’ll roll with the punches, deal well with the crazy, public lifestyle (privacy invasion, etc.), and conform to suit the monarchy’s needs. Nevertheless, it’s his mistake in assuming those are the only criteria a future princess must meet. If there was a checklist for the “Qualities of the Most Ideal Future Princess of Wales”, Kate would scantily fulfill 20% of them:

Intelligence and Wit

Humility

Career ambition/self sufficiency

Physical beauty – (C’mon, princesses are supposed to be pretty! -Especially when the prince is popular enough to take his pick. Kate’s…just…okay…)

Noble/Aristocratic blood (if not this, then a woman who stands far above the crowd of other commoners)

Grace and Conservative femininity (that goes out the window when you’ve been banging the prince for a decade without a commitment – Oh, and the rumored accidental pregnancies (abortion fanatic if they’re true! *cough* TMI *cough*))

Charity and service for those in need (I volunteered like crazy in college, and I’m not anywhere near royal… Why didn’t Kate?! – And why hasn’t she since??)

Respectable and responsible image (yeah, umm, no)

Takes on royal responsibilities to earn royal privileges (Kate’s only got the acceptance of privileges part down…)

Aaaand the list goes on…

Of course, there’s the possibility that Kate’s the girl who’s a match for William’s heart. But I doubt it. Kate’s the girl with everything to lose if the relationship fails, and everything to gain if it succeeds – her greatest skill is that she’s willing/desperate enough to jump through all and any hoops, including waiting 10+ years for a proposal – and William knows it.

It may have been 10 years, but it’s not too late for William to turn around and make a better decision. Kate hasn’t been cheated – contrary to some’s beliefs. She’s lived a decade of fantasy and wonder beyond her wildest dreams, and has continually been treated to luxuries she doesn’t deserve. William owes it to himself, and his country to make a responsible choice about the future Princess of Wales. Yes, he needs to choose a woman he loves, but his privileges require sacrifices on his part, and that means choosing a bride that will be an honorable partner for the people’s sake too. If William was going to wait ’till his late 20s/early 30s to wed, he could have waited to meet a woman who’s getting a PhD, or who runs a charitable non-profit organization, for example. But no : Instead, he’s burdening his country with wishy-washy, Waity Katie.

It’s not about choosing a girl who loves being photographed or relishes living her fantasy of being a fashion icon – or even a real, live princess. It’s about choosing a self-sufficient woman who has something amazing to offer the country and the world: A role model, a charitable, caring person who views joining the monarchy as a responsibility, and an opportunity to serve the people – not just an entitlement to luxurious privileges. Right now, the latter is Kate Middleton; And I don’t foresee her entire irresponsible, pleasure-loving personality changing just because wedding vows are exchanged. What we’ve seen is what we’re going to get as Lady Di’s shoe-filler – if William decides to go through with it. One can only hope that won’t be the case.

#duke of cambridge #duchess of cambridge #prince william #kate middleton #proof #article

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sephiwhore · 3 years

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Ok but literally all the cyberpunk oc questions? LETS GO CHOOM!!! -thosetwistedtales

Bet you didn’t think I’d actually do it >:3 Okay well I technically didn’t, I did skip some of them cause I couldn’t think of anything, I’d already answered it, or the answer was just “no”.

Without further ado I present, All The Questions about Tess, answered under the cut!

— BASICS

full name: Tess Valere

birthday: She has no idea, and for most of her life she didn’t even know birthdays were a thing

gender and pronouns: Female, she/her

nicknames or aliases: V (obviously), her surrogate brother called her Tessa

sexuality: a big ol bisexual

ethnicity: a big ol white girl

affiliations [corporation/gang/themselves/etc]: she grew up on the streets of Heywood, so certain Valentinos would help her out now and again. She’s nowhere near loyal to them, but she’ll try to avoid killing them during jobs

what languages do they speak?: English, conversational Spanish, and she knows a handful of Japanese words

— PERSONALITY

alignment: Chaotic Good, but she dabbles in Chaotic Neutral

color(s) you associate with them: cyan and black and after Johnny comes into her life, red

theme song: Unbreakable by Fireflight

what heavenly virtue would you assign them? Humility

what deadly sin would you assign them? Wrath

what is their biggest strength? Sheer fucking perseverence, mostly fueled by spite

what is their biggest fear? Losing the people she loves, because throughout her life those have been few and far between and she’s lost a good number of them

what is their biggest weakness? Again, the people she loves

are they confident in their abilities? Oh you bet your ass she is, so confident that she stormed Arasaka Tower with nothing but her revolver and her cyberdeck

what is their opinion on cybernetics? They’re a necessary evil. Her brother dealt with cyberpsychosis so in a way she resents cybernetics, but she also knows that you won’t get far as a merc in Night City without a few implants

do they have a good sense of humor? Yes, very dry and sarcastic

how do they cry? When she cries it’s either from rage or panic, very little in between

how do they laugh? Quite subdued, usually the most you’ll get out of her is a hearty chuckle. Very rarely does she go into a full laughing fit

do they smoke? She started smoking after Johnny popped up in her head cause she felt bad for his situation (after she stopped hating him anyway) and figured she could give him this one thing. And now she smokes like a chimney.

do they drink? She’s been dealing with alcohol dependence and borderline alcoholism for half of her life

what kind of drunk are they? As she drinks more it progresses from pretty chill, then VERY affectionate, and then Fightey

do they take any drugs? She knows how she is with alcohol so she avoids drugs like the plague

— COMBAT

preferred weapon: For close/mid-range, a nice beefy revolver (Overture) or Johnny’s Malorian. Long range, a sniper rifle.

combat style [stealth/melee/brute force/etc] Depending on the environment, it’s either stealth with a silenced pistol and lots of quickhacks, a John Wick style headshots-galore shootout, or sniping from a distance

primary stats [ex: intellect] Intelligence and Reflexes

biggest weakness in combat: She sometimes forgets to watch her back, and tends to ignore injuries and see the fight through when retreating would probably be the best course of action

threaten or charm? Depends on the target, she’s great at both

lethal or non-lethal? For corpos, the more malicious gangs (Tygers, Animals, 6th Street), or anyone who has hurt innocents, full lethal. If she’s just infiltrating a warehouse full of workers, non-lethal

leave quietly or send a message? She sends a message WHILE leaving quietly

strategy or improvise? Improvise

— APPEARANCE

hair style and color [is it natural? do they change it a lot?] She has synthhair so she can change the style and color at will (I have no idea if that’s how it actually works but I say it is) but she usually sticks to come kind of short sideshave/undercut in some shade of blue.

eye color: Natural eye color is green, but she usually has black scleras with a red circle

height: I had her at 5’8 until yesterday when I realized ya know what, I want a tall girl. So she’s 6 feet.

describe their body type: Skinny, small tiddies, but still fairly curvy

describe their style: Dark colors, leather jackets, lots of boots (also Johnny’s tank top and aviators)

do they wear makeup? Very smudgey eyeliner. Her upper lip is tattooed black and she usually leaves the bottom one bare

tattoos? any significant ones? Lots of tattoos that I haven’t figured out yet, except fir a modified version of the Valentinos neck tattoo, the V being to honor her brother Ven (she took on the name V to honor him too)

scars? Random ones here and there from random gunshots, stabbings, and other work-related injuries

piercings? A bunch that I can’t remember off the top of my head

cybernetics? Gorilla arms, the charge jump ankle ones, eventually she gets synth lungs as a preventative measure cause of the whole smoking thing

— FAVORITES

favorite place in night city: The streets of Heywood because they’re home to her, despite all the awful memories growing up. After Johnny comes along, she starts to like high places, and she loves to hang out on the patio outside Kerry’s house

favorite tv show and/or movie: She loves horror movies, except ghost one cause she doesn’t believe in ghosts so she just finds them dumb

favorite vehicle. do they prefer cars or motorcycles? Vastly prefers motorcycles, she hasn’t really driven a car much since she was a teenager. Her favorite is Jackie’s Arch.

favorite food: She sees food solely as a source of fuel, she will eat whatever is easiest

favorite drink: Tequila

favorite song: Black Dog :3

favorite type of weather: She LOVES the rain (but the water kind, not the acid kind)

favorite radio station: Vexelstrom, and then Morro Rock cause Samurai :3

favorite pastime: Working out, shooting ranges, Jackie and Vik got her into occasional boxing

— RELATIONSHIPS

what are their parents like? what kind of relationship do they have with your character? She had no memory of her parents and assumes they’re both dead

do they have any other family members? what kind of relationship do they have? She has a “brother”, who she knew only as Vendetta (or V). He found her on the streets and took her in when she was 10, and raised her from then on until he “died” 12 years later. Their relationship was great, despite the fact that he was not a very nice person to everyone else but her.

who is their closest friend? Of course Jackie, and then Kerry (and Johnny ofc)

who are their other friends if they have them? Nope! :D

what are their exes like? any significant ones? She’s never really had a serious relationship, mostly just flings and acquaintances-with-benefits

are they in a relationship? with who and how is it going? Johnny! And it’s uh. Well, ya know.

who are their enemies? She has a passionate hatred for whichever corpo makes cyberpsychosis medication, and for Max Tac cause she sees them as responsible for the loss of her brother. And of course Arasaka.

have they ever lost anyone important to them? Her brother, Jackie, Johnny

would they betray their own morals for their loved ones? Abso-fucking-lutely

have they ever sacrificed something for someone they care about? if so, what? In one of my two canons for her, she gives Johnny her body

— BACKGROUND

where did they grow up in night city? if not from night city, where are they from? The streets of Heywood, then in a shitty apartment in Heywood

how would you describe their childhood? Miserable

were they well-off, poor or somewhere in between when growing up? After Ven took her in, they did have an apartment but because he needed monthly baloperidol (cyberpsycho meds) injections, they were quite poor

what kind of education did they receive? The only real education she ever got was “how to shoot a gun”

what is the biggest lesson they learned growing up? Everything and everyone in the world is going to try its best to destroy you. Destroy it first.

what is their happiest memory? A few weeks after Ven took her in and and it finally hit her, this was real, she had a home, someone that cared for her, and she never had to go hungry again,

what is their most painful memory? Watching her brother, in the middle of a psychotic break, being gunned down. After that it would be saying goodbye to Johnny (in the canon where that happens)

have they kept any meaningful mementos from their past? One of the revolvers she owns was given to her by her brother, and all of her piercings and a couple of her tattoos were done by him so they’re mementos, in a way

is there anything they would change about their past? She would do anything to save her brother.

#themechaneer #ask game #oc: tess valere #oc: vendetta

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aobindiareview · 4 years

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Top Sales Outsourcing Company Suggests Best Sales Movies to Watch

All work and no movies make sales teams dull!

We have stepped into the 10th Month of the year. Most of the organizations are still working from home. In gleam situations like these days, we need to keep motivated. While you may pass most of the weekends sitting on your couch and browsing through Netflix and Prime, the sales outsourcing company, AOB India, continually motivates and engages the sales consultants and sales acquisition teams in the most creative ways. We have a list of movies that you need to add to your watchlist today!

Cinema has very few good content to offer in terms of sales. And when they do, most of them show sales agents as soulless predators who leech money off innocent people – and it’s true in some cases. However, a handful of them over the years have truly captured what it’s like to be a real salesperson. Regardless of the light in which sales people are shown, all these movies still offer a lot of takeaways: from persuasion tactics to attentive listening to building relationships to pep talks.

Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)

ABC. “A”, always. “B”, be. “C”, closing. ALWAYS BE CLOSING. Always be closing.

-Blake

Glengarry Glen Ross is the story of four sales agents battling against each other to save their jobs. This movie portrays how toxic a competitive environment can be. They use all sorts of unethical practices and tactics to close deals; ranging from stealing leads to selling undesirable property to lying, cheating, threatening, bribery, and more.

Despite all these, the sales outsourcing company, AOB India suggests that it still has scenes that offer a lot of value to salespeople. For example, the famous Alec Baldwin scene, where he explains the ABC and AIDA technique to his peers to “motivate” them, is by far the best and most useful scene from the movie. Not only does it explain these two concepts, it also shows how a manager should go about motivating his team.

The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)

In order to not waste any time… I wasn’t hanging up the phone. I gained another eight minutes a day. I wasn’t drinking water… so I didn’t waste any time in the bathroom.

-Chris Gardner

Based on a true story, The Pursuit of Happyness follows the journey of a struggling salesman, Christopher Gardner. The trials and situations faced by Chris when he loses his job, his wife, and his house, and raises his son homeless, account for an absolutely heartbreaking but inspirational story. He never gives up; he relentlessly chases down high-value prospects; he gives his 100% whatever the circumstances may be, and most of all, respects his superiors. The sales strategists at AOB India believe that there are so many take-aways from the movie, for eg. Chrisexhibits many good sales practices; like using an energetic and positive tone to talk to his prospects or optimizing his cold calling process to save a few minutes, etc.

Door To Door (2002)

Patience and Persistence.

-Mrs. Porter

Isn’t this quote from the movie the motto of every sales agent ever? Another true story, Door To Door, is based on the life of Bill Porter, an inspiring and successful door-to-door salesman who suffers from cerebral palsy. Despite him being crippled with cerebral palsy, severely disabled, as well as having speech impediment problems, Bill Porter sold Watkins’ products for nearly 40 years, from door to door on a 7-mile route in Portland, Oregon. The sales outsourcing company highlights Patience and Persistence in every team meet. They believe that with these two qualities anyone can work his route with such diligence and perseverance to become the top-selling sales agents.

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

Jordan Belfort: Brad, show them how it’s done. Sell me that pen. Watch. Go on.

Brad: You want me to sell you this f****** pen?

Jordan Belfort: That’s my boy right there. Can f****** sell anything.

Brad: Why don’t you do me a favor? Write your name down on that napkin for me.

Jordan Belfort: I don’t have a pen.

Brad: Exactly. Supply and demand, my friend.

Does this movie need any introduction?

Filled with high-energy dialogues, lavish parties, and a bunch of unethical sales practices, this Martin Scorsese biopic about the infamous Jordan Belfort took the world by storm. It’s the story of how Belfort built an empire by pushing worthless penny stock to the public. Despite the tactics used by him, there are a few things a salesperson can learn from this film. Like the core concept of selling – sell the dream, sell the need, the product is irrelevant. Or the use of vocal tone to effectively engage prospects. Belfort illustrates the power of using a sales playbook and sales scripts which he teaches even today as a sales coach.

Wall Street (1987)

I’ve been in this business since ’69. Most of these Harvard MBA guys don’t add up to dogs**t. Give me guys that are poor, smart, hungry and no feelings. You win a few. You lose a few. But you keep on fighting – and if you need a friend, get a dog. It’s trench warfare out there, pal.

-Gordon Gekko

Even if you haven’t seen this movie, you would have certainly heard of Gordon Gekko. One of the most ruthless characters to be shown on the silver screen, Gordon Gekko, is a man driven by pure greed. Pure, Unadulterated Greed. Wall Street follows the story of an ambitious young stockbroker named Bud Fox who seeks fame and fortune. He exchanges insider trading information with Gekko who acts as his mentor. What ensues is a tale of absolute power, greed, and corruption that involves stock manipulation, taking down other firms, and destroying lives in the process without a second thought.

Moneyball (2011)

I hate losing more than I love winning.

-Billy Beane

Last in our list is anything but a sales movie. However, this movie is a must-watch for sales people. Here is why. Moneyball tells the story of how Billy Beane, the General Manager of Oakland Athletics, used Sabermetrics to help them win 20 games on the row. With the help of his assistant general manager, Billy Beane applied data analysis of baseball metrics to analyze and scout undervalued players to form a winning team. And how is this relevant to sales, you ask? At AOB India, we believe that this is the future of sales. Data-driven sales strategies – whether it is in prospecting or understanding user engagement or predictive analytics will be a game changer for fast-growing companies. The top sales outsourcing agency in India, AOB India, uses people, process and technology to get the sales numbers for their clients.

Mad Men (2007-2015)

Although this post is about movies, I’d be remiss if I don’t talk about Mad Men. Mad Men has changed the way marketing and sales professionals approach their clients. There are several brilliant sales pitches across the seven seasons that any sales rep can pick pointers from. Despite being set in the 60s, the characters and writing from this show were ahead of its time. Mad Men should be made mandatory viewing for anybody serious about getting into the marketing and sales industry.

At AOB India, it’s not all work. The top sales outsourcing company has some of the best talents in the industry who deliver top sales results. Keeping them motivated in new and creative ways sets this sales outsourcing agency apart from its competitors.

#sales outsourcing #Sales Outsourcing Company #Sales Outsourcing Agency

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alternislatronemhq · 4 years

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Congrats, CHRISTIE, you have been accepted to AL for the role of LUCINDA TALKALOT (FC: Alisha Wainwright). Ah, Christie, excellent job! You’ve taken a character that isn’t much more than a name in this verse and brought her to life! I love your portrayal of her and am so excited to see how she adds to our little group!! Please send in your blog (no sideblogs for first characters, please) in the next 24 hours and be sure to take a look at our new player checklist. Welcome home (once again), we’re so excited to have you join the family!

OOC

name — christie age — 20 pronouns — she/her timezone — gmt+3

any questions? — If I could just ignore the fact she was Quidditch captain during her time at Hogwarts that would be amazing just because it doesn’t quite fit my interpretation of Lucinda. Oh, wait, that’s not a question. Pretty please?

IC Overview

name — Lucinda Talkalot faceclaim — Alisha Wainwright age — 27 (9th of January) gender — Cis-female sexuality — Homosexual

patronus — A greyhound – much like Lucinda, the greyhound is intelligent and gentle, though often accused of passivity. What might be perceived as laziness and indifference, however, is simply a very careful and precise distribution of time and energy – after all, why waste your time on something you don’t care about when you could be working on achieving your real goals?

[tw: claustrophobia] boggart — Herself, stuck in a small space with no means of escaping. Lucinda is claustrophobic and usually, she can deal with tiny spaces as long as they provide some sort of an exit, be it a door or a window, but if they are locked or sealed, her claustrophobia gets triggered. It should be noted, though, that even in the event where she manages to keep her anxiety under control, she still would prefer to avoid small spaces altogether.

IC In Depth

personality traits —

( + ) Intelligent: Lucinda’s intelligence isn’t innate as is that of the Ravenclaws she remembers from her Hogwarts days, the ones who would just understand concepts and ideas with little if any explanation. Lucinda, on the other hand, needs all the guidance her professors provide and makes use of all available books on the subjects she’s interested in. Her intelligence comes from hard work, from days spent hunched over old dusty tomes, from sheer ambition to learn and to become somebody.

( + ) Driven: It’s the Slytherin in her that would stop at nothing to achieve her goals. If Lucinda Talkalot wants something, she’ll get it. She’d wanted to do well on her NEWTs, she’d done it. She’d wanted to become an Unspeakable, she’d done it. The one regard in which her ambition doesn’t seem to help is the social aspect of her life, but oh, well, nobody’s perfect.

( + ) Accepting: Lucy knows what it feels like not to be accepted, be it for her blood or for her sexuality, and she would never want anybody else to feel like that around her. Even though she’s not the best in social situations, one thing one can always rely on with her is to remain open-minded and willing to listen.

( - ) Reserved: Books don’t ask you about your day nor do they require an explanation as to why you did what you did; they’re just there. People don’t work quite like that, Lucy knows, but she still has trouble putting herself out there and speaking her mind. After all, what does she have to offer in conversation? She’s not funny, she’s not charming, and she quite literally can’t speak about her job.

( - ) Single-minded: She tells herself it’s justified, with how important her work is, but the truth is Lucinda is almost cut-off from the world. The downside of her ambition is that she’s so focused on her goals that she can’t see anything beyond them; even with Voldemort, she knows he was dangerous, but she never quite understood just how dangerous. But what does it matter anyway? After all, he’s a thing of the past.

( - ) Tactless: It’s not that she’s not aware of social etiquette, it’s just that she sometimes forgets to follow it. She doesn’t choose her words carefully, instead they slip out of her the same way her mother’s old china had slipped between her fingers when she’d been a child – without meaning to, unrefined and sharp. She doesn’t mean to be rude, by any means, but she’s also never been known to sugarcoat anything.

character biography —

Margaret Talkalot always had a vision of how her only daughter’s life would go. Lucinda would attend the same school she did – the only school in town – and then would later attend university in the big city where she would meet a nice, hopefully wealthy man who with whom she would have two children, a boy and a girl, and live happily ever after. It’s a manifestation of everything her mother didn’t get, Lucy realises years later – she’d never got the chance to leave their tiny town, her husband had left her soon after Lucinda’s birth and Margaret hadn’t had other children. (But even to little Lucinda, those fairy tales of princes and princesses didn’t sound appealing – at least the princes didn’t)

Fortunately for her, her mother’s plan started to unravel as soon as Lucinda’s eleventh birthday rolled around. A small white envelope held promises Lucy had never even dreamt to ask for and she’d begged and pleaded her mother to let her go. It’d taken a while to convince her but come September 1st, Lucy was on the train set to Hogwarts.

The castle is absolutely magical in a way that had nothing to do with actual magic. She’s sorted into Slytherin and her housemates give her weird looks as she goes to sit at their table, but that’s fine, the kids back home looked at her weird too. In any case, it’s not nearly enough to dampen her excitement and Lucy spends her first year walking on clouds. The following years she wants to try everything, from Quidditch to Frog Choir, and she does, but… it’s not quite what she imagined. She doesn’t have the experience other kids do with Quidditch, and her face flushes every time she has to sing in front of her peers. It’s okay though, because the library is just as magical and soon Lucy starts spending most of her time there.

She gets good grades, she’s on par with the Ravenclaws, and she wishes sometimes that she was sorted into Ravenclaw instead. Perhaps then she would’ve had more friends? But then she sees Ravenclaws during class, with their clever, understanding eyes, and feels inadequate as she struggles to keep up with the torrent of information. She perseveres. So what if she has to work three times as hard as Beatrice Galloway to get the same grades? She’s not scared of hard work. (She is scared, however, of the way her stomach flutters whenever Beatrice smiles at her. Not because of the feelings she stirs inside of Lucy, but because she knows her mother won’t be happy to learn about them. And Lucinda’s already disappointed her by going to a magical school instead of a “normal” one. Can she disappoint her like that too?)

Turns out, she can. At eighteen, Lucinda passes her NEWTs with flying colours and emboldened by that, she tells her mother she’s not interested in boys. Her arguments sound childish even to her own ears (they’re crass, and smelly, and annoying and she just doesn’t like them, okay?), but they’re true enough and eventually, Margaret stops trying to convince her otherwise. She says she accepts it, but Lucy knows better; her mother is still waiting for the day Lucinda will “come to her senses” and settle down with a man.

The knowledge of it weighs down on her heart, but she’s also never been happier, as though her mother had been the last frontier before freedom. And in the Wizarding World, she’s flourishing – she gets an internship at the Ministry and a few years later, she becomes an Unspeakable. There’s a war raging outside her office, but Lucinda is too busy scribbling down test results and experiment proposal to glance out of the window.

Eventually, it all ends and as relieved as Lucy is, she also can’t deny she feels guilty – but then she reminds herself there’s nothing she could’ve done anyway, except perhaps bored Voldermort to death with theories of how the brain functions.

plot ideas —

I’d love to get Lucy involved with the Order at a later point! In general, the way I envision her character arc (which is always subject to change as time goes on, of course) is that a big part of it would involve her getting out of her office and returning to the world as a whole. That includes becoming more aware of everything going on, becoming more involved in it as she realises she does have more to offer than dry facts she’s read in a book.

Getting her a social life! A bit self-explanatory but as established, Lucy isn’t the best at forming friendship so naturally, I’d love to see her put in a situation where she does end up doing that. Especially with people who challenge her way of thinking. (Also I’ll just throw it out there, but she deserves a girlfriend.)

Some sort of work-related plot seems inevitable too considering how much of her life is spent in her office. Whether that would be potential colleagues (chats by the coffee machine are probably interesting when neither party can talk about their job) or maybe someone who knows more than they’re supposed to (in which case I would love to explore Lucy’s reaction and how she would deal with that). Just about all and any workplace plots!

extra —

Some headcanons:

Throughout this app I’ve been referring to Lucinda both as Lucinda and as Lucy, which I personally see like a very Hercules situation in the sense of:

Meg: Megara. My friends call me Meg. At least they would if I had any friends.

Lucy works in the Department of Mysteries, as previously established, but to elaborate on that, she works primarily in the Thought Chamber. I say primarily because due to the door connecting the Thought and Death Chambers, I’m running with the assumption that their spheres of study are also connected and thus Lucinda sometimes has to visit the Death Chamber too.

(Also I really like the irony of Lucy studying brains, but not being good with people. Like, “I understand your brain, but you I just don’t get.”)

Furthermore, since her job is so centred around minds, she’s also picked up a few skills outside of Hogwarts’ curriculum. Lucinda is an Occlumens, though she struggles with Legilimency. She can only perform it under very particular circumstances, including an intense focus on her part and total silence of the room, so she is almost entirely unable to use it outside of the Thought Chamber. [This is, of course, subject to change if you feel like it might be too much power.]

Lastly, she just gets very flustered around women.

#harry potter rp #hp rp #marauders era rp #marauders rp #al:accepted #lucinda talkalot

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nibelheimraised · 4 years

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HADESTOWN THEMED HEADCANONS.

@onepartbrave asked:

chant —— how easily distracted is your muse? when they’re working on something they’re passionate about, is it hard to pull them away?

// Mission-wise, Cloud isn’t one to be easily distracted from what needs to get done. He’s very goal-driven, meaning if it’s not something that will get him to his end goal, he’s likely to ignore or disengage. This applies to any external distractions like people, creatures, or any other events outside of his control. But it can also apply to himself and any internal struggles he may be having, whether it be personal limits, conflicting emotions, or shaky mental health. While it’s good for him to be dedicated, more often than not, this is a weakness of his that can be exploited, since choosing to ignore some of his own problems lead to slowing him down much more than if he’d taken the time to address a problem when first presented.

On a not-so-dire note, his passions tend to have the same hold on his attention. Free time can often be sparse between jobs, so when he has the time available, it’s easy for him to get lost in things like hunting for new materia, training, driving around in his motorcycle, or even getting addicted to some of the games at the Golden Saucer. Luckily with side stuff like this, it’s easier for his friends to break him out of it if something needs to get done. //

way down hadestown (reprise) —— has your muse ever made a choice that they realized afterwards was terrible? if so, what was it?

// Yup, multiple choices in his life actually, each one representing different phases in his life :0 He regretted distancing himself from the kids in his town growing up, not doing enough to keep Tifa safe, not training hard enough to get into SOLDIER, not getting to spend more time with Zack, being too embarrassed to talk to anyone when he was in Nibelheim, not being able to save Aerith. The list goes on and on, especially with many of them being things that he couldn’t have known or things that were beyond his control.

This is reflective of one of Cloud’s worst choice/vice?: letting the past haunt him. There’s a lot of turmoil caused by the things that have happened to him in the past, which both strengthen and weaken him. It gives him strength in that he’s driven to make up for those mistakes and past choices by continuing to live and fight. At the same time, it weakens him because he lets his own emotions drive him. Yes, sometimes those emotions are his will to fight and optimism. But other times, those emotions are anger, impulsiveness, destructiveness, or even despair. It’s a delicate balance, one that can easily be his downfall if someone isn’t there to help him clear his head. //

we raise our cups —— is your muse the type to persevere no matter what, or do they give up easily?

// Nah, he perseveres. There’s been times when he’s almost given up. When things have looked hopeless and he’s just one step away from falling and never getting back up. Thankfully, his friends or the memory of past friends have helped him recover. Often times, he just needs a nudge in the right direction for him to remember his purpose and his reason for fighting :3 //

#[ about ]#[ hcs ]#// thanks for the ask!#// jeez I write too much @.@

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ladyxgilex · 5 years

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Chicken Problem.

Heeeeeey everyone! it is me! your favorite, slowest writer ever it is still alive! anyway, today writting it is a bit special, since @cartooniste2z it is always making amazing stuffs and art, i decided to return the favor and take some of him, hope you all enjoy it!

Btw, like i said @cartooniste2z make some amazing art, so i truly recomment you to see it and give it your opinion (he is a bit shy, so try an soft approach!) anyway, here it is!

Lix Le-Shade, also known as the Rainbow Dragon or the Rainbow Mercenary, gifted with a perseverance and persistence that borderline pure insanity, wieldier of magic, powers, weapons and knowledge beyond the dreams of many, a ferocious girl that would even punch gods in the face just because she feels like it, always ready to fight even the more powerful of the enemies without hesitation.

So, in the name of all that, why was she hugging a tree while hiding on it leafs?

Lix was trembling slightly, hugging the tree like her life depended on it, and it probably was. Her heart was running wild, each beat so loud that filled her ears, and thought an atheist, Lix was almost praying that her heart was not loud enough to tell her position, every hair and scale on her body was either raised or about to raise, chill after chill going across her body each time she listened the sound of giant steps around the tree.

Lix gulped loudly, every inch of mental power inside her was being used to either figure out how to get out of there or how did she get in that spot in the first place.

A few hours earlier, Lix was just minding her own business across one of the many, many, maaaany towns existing across the dimensions, trying to find a good way to pass the time or until someone tried to kill her for some reason she did not cared to remember.

That was the idea until she spotted someone dressed like a farmer in front of a mercenary group, or better said, spot the mercenary group rejecting the man offer even after this started to beg, taking that in count, the course of action was rather obvious.

Lix turned around and started to walk the same way she came from.

On her experience, that was a classic scenario of a dangerous underpaid job that none sane person would take, and Lix knew she was stupid enough to accept it even taking that in count, so the best course of action was walk away of it before she make anything stupid.

Unfortunately to Lix, that showed to be her mistake.

As Lix turned around, a young girl, curiously similar to the farmer was standing in front of her, holding an old piece of paper and rough colors on both hands.

Lix red eyes meet the dark brown eyes of the girl for a solid 10 seconds on complete silence.

Lix was the first to break the moment, taking a deep breath while looking at the sky, saying something on a forbidden long forgotten language, before turn around once more and walk towards the now lonely farmer.

- Please, help me to…..-

- Where?- Lix did not let the farmer end his sentence, instead she asked directions without delay.

- Excuse me?- asked the farmer, confused.

- Where am I supposed to go?- questioned Lix once again, an obvious annoying tone on her voice

- Y… you are not going to ask what the job is about? I mean….-

- I do not care- answered Lix, cutting the farmer sentence.

- The payment is….

- I care even less- once again, Lix cut the words of the farmer sharply.

- The background is….

- I.DO.NOT.CARE.- an heavily annoyed tone came out of Lix lips.

For a moment, the farmer honestly considered not giving her the job, however he did not had the luxury to actually turn down someone willing to help him.

-…… ok, but first, I must tell you the emotional value that….- even so, stubbornly, the farmer tried to tell his story once again, however...

- UUUUUUUGGGGHHH!!!!- Lix looked to the sky, groaning on frustration before turn around, looking at the young girl that was now drawing on a nearby table with her colors- where?

The young girl pointed to the west with one finger, while using the other hand to keep drawing.

Lix then made her way, leaving the farmer daughter drawing, while the farmer himself keep talking, so invested on his story that he did not noticed nobody looking at him.

Not long after that, she managed to see a farm in the distance, along with a shadow resting behind the barn. Just by looking at it, Lix could already feel a chill on the back of her neck, however she did not pay it attention, she had face giant monster before.

However, as Lix approached, a smell make her stop her movement, a smell she recognized perfectly. Misfortune strike her on that moment, the monster got up, and turn to look at her.

Lix entire body froze up at the look of the monster, her legs shivered as she could feel the blood going away of her face, every hair on her body raised up with a chill so powerful that Lix truly thought she was going to be freeze up in the spot, cold sweat started to form on the back of her neck while her mind tried to process her next move, that was, ultimately, very obvious.

She ran away.

However the monster was not one to show mercy, and pursued Lix on her escape attempt.

And that was how Lix end up on her actual spot.

Driven by curiosity, followed by a prolonged silence, Lix moved as slowly and quietly as she could to the protective border that the leafs offered, trying to peak on the outside perimeter.

What she found, however, make her entire body become as stiff like the iron.

One of the Yellow-Redish eyes of the Monster was just in front of her, the blackness of the center of its eye was so deep that Lix could swear that the darkness of the universe would look bright on contrast. The form of the monster make Lix stomach roar in disagreement, like wanting to vomit whatever food was inside itself.

The Monster, a creature so fearsome it rivaled a dragon's viciousness, was standing on 2 yellow limbs, 3 fingers in front and one on the back, each one with claws so sharp that could reap the strongest iron, most of the monster was covered on white, perfectly keep feathers that protected it from the most extreme cold, with no evidence of the blood of the thousand and more the Monster had surely ate already, two wings stood on what would be the Monster back, covered in fur like the rest of it is body, and while it was not capable of flying, Lix was sure that each flip of those wings would surely elevate storms and stop hurricanes, finally, it is long neck end up of a head shaped like that of an herbivorous, one eye at each side of the head, surely to spot it is prey better and faster, instead of a mouth, it had a peak that ended so sharp that could surely destroy any defense, and most horrifying, there was no teeth, so it is victims had to either be swallowed like a whole or in parts, prolonging their suffering. Lastly, on top of it is head, was a deep, bright red appendices, like a kind of a crown, to ensure it is dominance and power to it is rivals. The Descendant of an ancient Rival to the Dragons, the T-Rex.

To Lix, this was probably the most terrifying enemy she could ever face…… Chickens….

Lix stood there completely motionless, hoping, since the deepest of her heart, that this descendant had the old weakness of it is ancestors and was not capable of notice her if she did not move.

However, Lix hopes crumbled when the giant chicken turned it is head towards her, and even more when smaller, lesser chickens started to “fly” and rest on the nearby branches around her, surrounding her slowly, yet surely.

Although her heart was running crazy, Lix could feel her blood going colder with each new chicken, for a solid second, Lix truly thought that her blood was going to freeze on her veins. Without allowing herself to blink, Lix stood on the edge of the branch, holding her breath even when her lungs demanded air, using every last of her willpower to control her body of trembling, of showing weakness to such predator.

Even with that, when Lix felt the sharp claws of one of the lesser chickens on her forehead, as well like an extra weight over her head, she could not make anything aside of scream internally at the idea of a chicken seating over her head, ironically, the crippling fear going across her body was the only thing keeping her conscious.

To Lix, each second was an eternity on itself, her mind was fully concentrated on allow her to keep in silence and motionless, so maybe, just maybe, she could walk out of the situation alive….

……Or that was the plan until one fateful, curious chicken decided to use it is bill to bite on what it was under itself.

-auch!- an involuntary small scream of pain escaped of Lix lips, sealing her destiny.

At once, all the lesser chickens, along with the giant chicken, turn their eyes towards the source of the noise, cold drops of sweat started to form on Lix forehead and the back of her next, brain cell not paralyzed by the fear gave a simple, yet understandable order.

“Run.”

Unfortunately, Lix was not fast enough.

Like meteorites covered on white feathers, the lesser chickens jumped in perfect synchrony over Lix, and without a second though, unleashed their fury towards the invaders, in the form of bites and claws against her skin.

-auch! Ahy! Ohuch! Aah!- attacked by a white storm of feather, claws and peaks, Lix lose her balance, hitting the branch that was just under her, and then the next one, one by one until her back hit the floor with a heavy sound-….. auch…..-

That did not meant the Chickens were done, however, since these gazed down onto Lix since the branches she just hit on her fall.

-….. oh come on- whispered Lix to herself, just a moment before the Chicken started to fall once again over her- auch! No! ahy! Stop! Auch acuh! That hurts! AUCH!- picking herself up, Lix barely managed to avoid the bite of the Giant Chicken, that made a hole in the ground of the size of Lix head.

-…. Nope, nope nope nope nope nope nope nope- repeating those words over and over, Lix turned around and started to run without looking back, she did not need it anyway, the sounds of several angry chickens, along with a giant angry chicken, that were now pursuing her was more than enough signal to Lix, along with material to fill her nightmares for a time.

Lix mind was fully and completely concentrated on move her legs as fast and strong like she could, every other thought was cast aside like unnecessary on her quest to leave the farm territory, and with luck, the Chickens territory. She could find that farmer and his daughter another farm, it was not worth fighting those chickens anyway.

Once again, her future plans did turn out like expected, as several dozens of chickens started to descend in front of her, materializing almost out of nowhere.

Lix almost broke her ankle taking a sudden change of direction, as the new horde of hellish animals joined the previous one on her pursuit. This repeated around 6 times before Lix started to wonder if her life had just become some kind of bad joke to some god or the like, but again, her life was already like that.

If anything, Lix was honesty grateful of the fact that the fear within her body was pushing her beyond the normal limit or her ankle would have break 5 minutes ago, infusing her body with magic….

Magic….

Suddenly remembering the fact that she was a MAGICAL Dragon, that could use MAGIC.AT.WILL, was such a revelation that Lix honestly planned to go back in time and slap herself on the face.

Turning around on a quick movement, Lix raised her arm towards the horde of chickens, which by now had thousands of the animals, aiming to the obvious leader, which looked back at Lix with eyes empty of any emotion. Of the hand covered on blue gloves, a purple thunder eructed into existence and made it is way towards the Giant Chicken itself, ready to extinguish such creature of the realm of the living.

The Purple Thunder was almost as fast like the light, not allowing the Giant Chicken to cover, hide or avoid the attack of the Dragon Girl, a smile appeared on Lix lips as she already dreamed of cook such opponent.

That same smile froze on her face as the Purple Thunder take a completely different direction, avoiding the Giant Chicken, the Lesser ones, all the trees on it is way, and came to hit a completely innocent barn, making it exploit and catch green magic fire.

Lix left eye twitched as the Giant Chicken stared at her like it was expecting something more impressive.

-…… but of course the Giant Chicken it is immune to Magic, why would not it? My luck it is just like That!- Lix complained to nobody in particular, seriously planning on just drop on the floor and wait for her destiny to finally arrive. Yet the part of her brain that still wanted to live gave another idea.

Instead of turning around, Lix started to run following the same path that the Purple Thunder did, avoiding the Giant Chicken, of course, and before long the pursuit started again, but with a slightly different approach.

Lix was not trying to run outside the farm territory, instead she was running to the barn that was burning down, casually near the center of the territory. Avoiding the trees and the lesser chickens, Lix started to run around the fire, and subsequently, the horde of chickens followed her example and run on circles around the flames.

The seconds turn onto minutes, and minutes turn on hours as the pursuit continued on circles, Lix felt each step being slightly more painful than the last, but slowly, her plans started to show results.

It started with the lower ranks, the weakest of course, one by one, then two, and without warning three at once, the middle ranks hold a bit better, but in the end they could not stand a chance, and finally, the leader and bigger problem hold it is ground with such ferocity that Lix almost felt respect, almost, he was the last one still holding but the signs were obvious already, it was going to fall like all the others.

Lix turned her head slowly, running at a seemingly slower rate, just to see the state of what once was the Leader of a Horde she could not imagine to win against. A evil smile cracked on her face unconsciously.

Fast breathings, the Giant Chicken was breathing quickly and loudly, it pace was not like before, it was moving slowly, each of it is steps was probably an hell of agony on it is own right, it eyes, usually with no emotions on them, were now filled on equal parts with determination and a tired feeling, the last becoming the dominant when, while taking another step, the Giant Chicken tripped, causing a loud noise accompanied by a small cloud of dirt, around it and all over of what remained of the barn skeleton was the entire horde of chickens.

With a wide smile of pure arrogance, Lix laughed loudly, mocking the animals, since they failed to realize their own weaknesses.

-HAHA! You dumb thing! Those feathers may protect you of the cold and my magic! But you will obviously overheat if you stay too much time around a fire!- each of Lix words was charged with pride and arrogance, mocking the enemy that once made her blood freeze without a second thought

The Giant Chicken seemed to want to tell something, yet the forces left on it is body did not allowed it to.

-caw…….-

Yet, Lix laugh and arrogant speech was cut completely by a simple sound, a sound that made a freezing chill pass across her back, making her not want to turn around, but again, she needed to, if death was coming for her, then she wanted to greet her properly.

What she found out did not disappoint her, or rather to say, it make her curse internally.

Thousands upon thousands of lesser chicken had gathered around the burned barn skeleton, forming almost a perfect circle around the horde last stand.

Taking a deep breath, Lix invoked a blue current of fire, setting the skeleton of the barn once again on arcane fire, and stepped inside it without a second thought, curling in the middle of the barn and watching the lesser chickens throwing themselves and falling to the ground on an effort to reach her, obviously without result.

-This is fine….-said Lix, with empty eyes while “enjoying” the view in front of her.

-The next day-

- What in the name of…..?- the farmer said, looking around with eyes of confusion and curiosity.

Around the few remaining pieces of a barn, were thousands upon thousands of chickens in the floor, still breathing, yet motionless and completely dizzies, and next to the barn skeleton, was a single giant chicken that could very well stop over a cow.

-ah….- to the Farmer, that was far from what he was expecting to see, even more when a humanoid figure raised of the ashes inside the structure, and walked to meet him and his daughter-… oh! It is you!-

The Farmer tried to make a smile, yet he had a difficult time doing that in front of the figure in front of him.

-yeah…- Lix tired voice escaped of her lips more like a groan than anything else, her clothes were covered in ashes and slightly burn, her face was dirty and had ashes as well, along some bags under her eyes, either of tiredness or anything else- problem solved-

To Lix, that had to stay up completely vigilant the entire night and half of a day without blinking to ensure none chicken entering on her perimeter, the view of the farmer and his daughter was the sign of a job well done.

-ah… well, actually no, our farm it is more over there- answered the Farmer, pointing to the west- I am actually a Fish Farmer, but recently there have been a black cat eating my fishes, so could you please push him away? I do not want the bad luck, but he is kind of cute, so I just want to move him elsewhere-

After the explanation, Lix and the Farmer looked each other in complete silence, until Lix placed her hand on the Farmer shoulder.

-You are a Chicken Farmer now- said Lix, on a clear voice.

-wa-wait what? No… I am a fish farmer and- the Farmer started to argue thought.

-You are a Chicken Farmer now- repeated Lix, adding some force to the hand on his shoulder.

-no… no I am not, I do not even know what Chickens eat and…. Uh, sorry that it is hurting me- once again, the Farmer tried to explain himself.

-You are a Chicken Farmer now- without changing her tone in the slightest, Lix repeated those words, her other hand catching the free shoulder of the Farmer.

-Bu- but my family…. My family have been fish farmers for generations and….- before the Farmer could continue his argument, he felt the hands of Lix adding more and more force to the grip on his shoulders, and while her smile showed a kind and noble smile, the Farmer was pretty sure Lix was not having thought anywhere near none of those thing.

-YOU.ARE.A.CHICKEN.FARMER.NOW- Lix voice was deep and commanding this time, leaving out of question if was a request or not.

-Ye… yes ma´am, I am- the Farmer accepted his new occupation reluctantly, besides, ¿how different could chickens be of fishes?

After settling the minor details, Lix turned to see the daughter of the Farmer, which without wasting a second gave her a paper that had a simple drawing of Lix. Lix take it and save it on her cloak.

-a pleasure doing business with you- said Lix.

-The pleasure was all mine- answered the girl, on a sweet soft tone.

Finally free of the chains of her job, Lix started to walk around without looking back, setting course to the next town in which take a job.

-meow?-

Lix sensitive ears allowed her to follow the source of the sudden sound, finding a black cat making it is way towards the now officially chicken farm. Lix gazed at the black cat for a couple of second before deciding her next movement.

Lix started to run towards the opposite direction.

#my art #request #Z Request #Gift #AU #Lix Le-Shade #Chickens #Mini-Fic

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lowishigh · 4 years

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20 Things I accomplished in 2019

I thought 2019 has been the shittiest year of my life. But then I thought about it again, this time thinking a little bit harder, and realized that it isn’t so terrible after all. It’s been a year of growth and transformation. Yes, it came with a lot of pain. I mean A LOT OF PAIN. But now I look back, it was worth the ride and I feel nothing but grateful for everything I went through.

Here are the 20 things I think I can really be proud of or content with accomplishing in 2019:

1. Work out regularly

This was my number one goal for 2019. I didn’t believe that I could persevere, especially not with exercising, but I actually made it a habit and I feel so much healthier and stronger now. The best thing about working out regularly is that it helps me to reduce stress and feel a lot more positive about my body. Most importantly, I’ve decreased my body fat percentage by almost 5%!

2. Overcome a breakup

I ended a 2.5 year relationship with someone who I really once believed that I could love forever. I got dumped with a really shitty accusation through texts and I wanted to kill myself when it happened. I didn’t think I could recover from it at first. I begged for that person’s love and another chance to show him that I can be good enough for him. In the first two weeks I couldn’t eat and felt numb most of the time. But gradually I regained my strength with the help of my friends and by focusing on working and engaging in activities. I found my inner peace and started to examine this relationship from different perspectives. The more I reflect on it, the more I understand that it wasn’t meant to be and I’m blessed that he at least was decent enough to let me go so I can have the opportunity to meet the next person who’s got what it takes to build a healthy, mature, and happy relationship that I deserve with me. This experience was priceless and I’ve learned so much from it. I feel like I know myself and what I want/need better now. And this grounds me for getting ready for a relationship that’s worth my best energy.

3. Undergraduate diploma

In fact, I’m not particularly proud of this but I still spent five years working on it and life could be a lot harder without a diploma so I still want to put it on the list to sort of celebrate it. It’s also for acknowledging the fact that I’m not a student anymore.

4. Let go of an unrequited love

This is a weird one, I know. How could I possibly be in love with someone else for over a decade while feeling like I was drowning in sorrow because of a breakup?

It dates back to a long time ago and we have a long history. I’m not gonna go into it but this person has always been really important to me and he always will. We missed each other multiple times at different stages of life because of a lot of things we weren’t in control of. And I had always wanted to tell him how I felt but never found the right timing nor the courage to do it. So it was a big step forward that I finally did it this summer.

I’m so glad that I did it and am even happier about our friendship growing stronger after having a brutally honest conversation about everything. I’m also really relieved because now I can really move on and stop wondering about the “what if”s. I’m forever grateful for the purest form of love he had displayed to me in the past and the continuous support he offers whenever I need it. Cheers to a lifelong friendship and honesty!

5. Scuba diving license

It was an exciting adventure and made me realize that there’re still so many fun things out there I want to explore and experience. I also got to see how beautiful my country is and spent some really wonderful time with my friends. Through getting this license, it really empowered me to get out of my comfort zone and feel excited about the unknown. This means a lot to me also because my ex boyfriend held me back from trying scuba diving in the past for his own fear of getting deep into the sea. I felt like in a way I was shaking off the chains he put on me when I finally got my license. It meant freedom and independence.

6. Made new friends

2019 has always been a year full of new friends. These new friends expand my worldview and pour in fresh ideas to my mind. It’s amazing to review how many new people I have met this year and how much I have learned from each of them. I also received so much love and care from people who barely knew me but were generous and kind enough to offer help, support, advice, and guidance. I’m thankful to them for showing me the best side of human beings and I want to do this for others, too.

7. Reconnect with old friends

New friends are indeed fresh and exciting but catching up with old friends always makes me feel extra blessed. Especially with international friends, you never know when and where you’re gonna see each other again the next time, so it’s for sure the best feeling when you get to hang out together again. I’ve had several opportunities to do this with some old friends I made overseas this year and I’m truly grateful for this. It’s never easy to maintain contact with people far away from you but I always try my best.

8. Travel

I love traveling and compared to the previous years, I haven’t done much traveling in 2019. But I’m still super glad that I got to spend 2 weeks in London and a week in Portugal this year. All the places I visited were amazing and worth revisiting. Moreover, London truly inspired me to do anything I can to move away from Taipei so I won’t feel stuck constantly. It’s a pity that I didn’t make it to Vietnam or New York like I planned to earlier this year. And I might not get the same luxury to travel so much like in uni as I have work responsibilities now and less money to spend freely. But I will definitely still try to do a trip or two every year in the future!

9. Joining VO1SS Taiwan

I came across this opportunity by randomly scrolling on Facebook. I got introduced to the founder and got the position of editor in chief of VO1SS Taiwan right away. It’s always really encouraging when people tell me that they immediately see my potential and think my personality is suitable for taking on an important role. Although this is an unpaid job at a non-profit organization, I truly appreciate having this opportunity to work with passionate and driven people with the vision of connecting people around the world together with a digital interactive media. I’m constantly learning about what it means to be a good leader in this role and I’m so grateful of all the advice and feedback I get from my teammates.

10. Showing up for my family during the toughest time

We’ve had plenty of ups and downs this year in my family. When unexpected things hit, the only thing you could do is stick through it with your loved ones and react in the calmest, most reasonable way possible so you don’t hurt even harder with the train wreck. Each of the challenges was super tough for me but I did my best to show up for everyone anyway. I’m not saying that I did everything perfectly, but I did what I could do and what I thought I had to do to offer help and support. Most importantly, I also had to hold myself together and lower the impact of these things to my mental stability as much as possible. It really was very difficult for me and for everyone. Through these hardships, I learned that there’re always gonna be things that you have no control over in life and it’s okay to not always know what to do. It’s scary as f*ck which is why it’s important to have a strong support system and safety net with people who truly care and can offer good advice.

11. Becoming aware of sustainability and cruelty-free

I started paying more attention to the harm of over-consumerism to the environment and also to our peace of mind after watching the documentary film “Minimalism”. I took a good look at how I was living, how much unnecessary purchase I made, and how much waste I produced obliviously over the years. So I decided to change my habit of consuming and reduce the harm of it as much as possible. I’m constantly looking for affordable, environmentally friendly, and cruelty-free products. I think twice before buying anything now. I’ve stopped spending money on things because I “want” them but because I truly “need” them or see the value of them.

12. Listening to podcasts

For some reason, podcasts never really interested me up until this year. More and more friends around me told me that they’re listening to podcasts and each of them recommended something that they really love listening to. That’s how I got into the world of podcasts and I find a lot of the contents up there really informative and helpful. Now, instead of music, I sometimes listen to podcasts on health, spirituality, and language/culture learning during commute and shower. It has certainly opened another window for me to absorb knowledge and connect to the world.

13. Doing online courses

Another thing that I really got into this year is online courses. Ironically, when I was still a full-time student, I could never really finish any online courses because learning was a mandatory thing. Now that I’m working, I find learning such a luxury and I’m loving every second of sitting down and learning something new for a couple of hours. I’m also really glad that I pushed myself out of the comfort zone to take the courses that contain some math and science which had always been something I was so afraid of in school. I even started learning how to code which is absolutely something I would never have imagined for myself a year ago. It feels really good to know that I can learn anything and that there’s no limit in learning. When I feel stuck in life, going back to learning always makes me feel alive again.

14. Becoming more responsible and careful with money (investment in funds)

I’ve never been so stressed out about money in my life like this time right now. I’m earning very little and don’t have much extra money to save up. However, I made up my mind to save as much as possible regardless of how little the amount might be.

15. Discover my passion in public health

I was very lost, resentful, and disoriented when I graduated from university. It suddenly struck me that I was way too naive and didn’t seize the opportunity to better prepare myself for the challenges and predicaments in the world of harsh competitions, low salary, and limited choices. Meanwhile, a few things also changed my mind about working in films. For a very long time, I’d always thought it’s something I wanted to do, and losing grip of that left me in a very confusing situation. Luckily, through working on a project related to healthcare and medical services, I discovered that public health is a field that has a lot of potentials and interests me in various aspects. I felt like I have finally found my calling in life and it sets my purpose and direction for the future.

16. Finished two scripts for short films

Despite my decision of not working in the film industry after graduation, I still want to continue writing stories and creating because it’s always going to be my passion and I believe in the power of storytelling. I was very lucky to have the opportunities to finish two scripts, although one of them wasn’t made into an actual film at the end. The creative process of writing scripts and shooting the movies really reminded me of how much I enjoy presenting a story visually.

17. Livestream talk show

Over the past few years, the idea of running a YouTube channel has crossed my mind several times. However, I never really persisted because I didn’t find a certain theme or topic of which I had so much to talk about. Starting this livestream talk show with my friend was indeed exciting for me because having someone on the show that can interact with me and exchange ideas with is much more interesting than recording content by myself. I wish to start doing podcasts in the coming year.

18. Switch to a more positive way of using social media

A lot of people believe that a “social media detox” means that you have to be completely off it to regain your inner peace. This method is doable for some people, but definitely not for the majority of the population. We’re way too engaged in the Internet and the culture of media, after all. But there is an alternative solution. Earlier this year, I checked all the accounts I was following on social media and deleted the ones that simply did not “spark joy” for me anymore. I used to follow mostly accounts that feature fashion, beauty and celebrity news that encourage consumerism. After deleting the accounts that only made me feel that I was lacking of something instead of feeling inspired, encouraged, and educated, I started focusing on the contents about health, spirituality, and self-improvement. Right now, whenever I go on social media, I can always expect to learn something or get inspired. For me, social media isn’t a source of anxiety and depression anymore, quite the contrary, it introduces so much positive energy to my life every day.

19. Healthier sleep routine

I used to have difficulty going to bed and getting up early. I used to always tell people that “I’m not a morning person”. But now I can really appreciate the beauty of morning and the benefits of starting a day early. I stopped staying up super late and I feel much more energetic throughout the day. I can make better use of my time and get more done in the daytime. This change of habit helps me stay focus and on track in life. I finally don’t feel like an irresponsible teenager that feels tired and lack of purpose despite sleeping 10 hours a day.

20. Cut my hair short

This is something that I’ve been wanting to do for many years. I didn’t do it because I wanted to avoid fights with my ex and I was afraid of other people’s opinions on my haircut. So I just kept sticking to what I’m used to. This November, I finally made up my mind and cut my hair short and I absolutely love how I look now. It’s like a ritualistic thing to do to say goodbye to my past. And I’m really glad that I made the decision purely considering how I feel about it, not anyone else’s opinions.

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