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stylographic-blue-rhapsody · 5 months

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I was deep in my drunk feelings when I made a joke post threatening to write about episode 5 symbolism and mizu, but then enough people said "where is the essay" so I am here to ramble as requested

in ep 5, the tale told in the puppet show spliced with the flashback sequence of mizu’s marriage identifies mizu as not only the ronin, but also the bride and, with tragedy, the onryō. I would argue that mizu is also depicted (in a less linear fashion) as the phoenix itself, and will circle back to this thought later

mizu is first presented as the ronin, the warrior with a singular purpose. as the ronin’s lord is assassinated by the rival clan, mizu’s mother is killed in the house fire. the ronin swears his revenge, and dedicates his life to this cause. through his childhood and into his young adult life when he departs from swordfather, mizu is exclusively the ronin. he is not the onryō yet, demonstrated in his honorable unwillingness to harm the men who stab him and throw him out of the shop even after he insists that he wasn't looking for a fight in the first place

the ronin is only able to rest and put away his mission when he meets the bride, the lover. however, mizu’s bride is not literally another person she meets. the bride is not mama, or mikio, but the lover mizu discovers in herself, the one allowed to bloom in place of mizu-as-ronin. mizu’s growth into the bride from the ronin occurs over time, but solidifies in the moment when kai is gifted to her by mikio, paralleling the taming of her own distrust and expectations of being hurt. (side note, giving a nod to effective use of color: the bride puppet, dressed in reds and oranges, has matching coloring to the gifting scene, as it takes place in autumn)

mizu’s transformation into the onryō happens in two parts, beginning with the slaying of the bride and completing with the slaying of the ronin. the betrayal by mikio and mama kills the softness in mizu, kills the lover she has allowed herself to become. mizu-as-onryō retaliates by killing the ronin: the part of himself that hesitates before striking, that part that cares for honor. in not intervening in mama’s death and then murdering mikio in turn, mizu kills the ronin in himself, slaughtering it in retribution for the dead bride

mizu is both the bride and the ronin, peaceful lover and noble warrior, until he is not—he is the onryō, only the onryō. episode 5 opens with the narrator saying, “no one man can defeat an army, but one creature can.” only as the onryō, and not as the ronin or the bride, does mizu have the force of will and capacity for violence it takes to singlehandedly overcome boss hamata’s thousand claw army and protect the brothel

mizu’s identity and place in the world is a constant dialogue. he is too white to have a respectable place in japanese society, but is also seen by abijah (our stand-in for white british society) as filthy and corrupted. he is not perceived as enough of a man to walk through life wholly as one (madame kaji’s comments about his apparent lack of sexual desires, his bones breaking “like a woman’s” under fowler’s hands, his disregard for honor and recognition as a samurai). she is also not enough of a woman to exist peacefully as one with mikio (she is a swordsman, an accomplished rider, bad at domesticity; “what woman doesn’t want a husband?” mama chastises)

the moment when mikio rejects her completely following their spar is a particularly poignant narrative beat about tolerance of “the other” in gender presentation: mikio can accept her as a woman only until she bests him at manhood, at the sword, at violence. she is Other in that she is physically strong, a poor cook, able to wield a sword. these traits are all tolerable to mikio, also an outcast, so long as she is not so Other as to be a man. but her swordsmanship bests his, and bests his in the way the sun outshines a candle. it is too Other, and therefore she is not a woman. she is a monster to him, the onryō, even before she kills the bride and the ronin in herself

(( as an aside, this series does a very good job at discussing the oft-challenging relationship between race and gender (e.g. that it is difficult for mizu to live as a biracial man, but would be deadly for her to live as a biracial woman), and demonstrating how queerness of identity complicates that relationship even further—but that’s a topic for a different post ))

as the narrative has been building on this idea that mizu is both the ronin and the bride, the man and the woman, japanese and white, episode 5 concludes with the heartbreaking reveal that, although mizu is all of these things simultaneously, he has had these identities beaten out of him by tragedy and cruelty and his own self-loathing hand

but mizu does not stagnate as the monster. we return to the metaphor of steel: too pure and it becomes brittle, breaking under pressure. mizu is a sword, a weapon that he has forged for the sole purpose of revenge and blood, but he has excised too much of himself to successfully deliver on his goals—he is not the ronin or the bride, he is the onryō; she is not a woman or a man, she is the onryō; the onryō is nothing but pain and vengeance—and so it breaks

“perhaps a demon cannot make steel,” mizu says. “I am a bad artist”

swordfather replies, “an artist gives all they have to the art, the whole. your strengths and deficiencies, your loves and shames. perhaps the people you collected… if you do not invite the whole, the demon takes two chairs, and your art will suffer”

to be reforged, mizu must not only acknowledge the impurities she has beaten out of her blade, out of herself, but lovingly, radically accept them and reincorporate them into the blade, into herself. he adds impure steel—the people he has collected, with their own dualities—to the sheared meteorite sword: the broken blade that fit so perfectly in taigen’s hand (the archetypal ronin, but a man seeking happiness over glory), the knife akemi tried to murder mizu with (the archetypal bride, but with ambition for greatness), the bell given to ringo and returned to mizu in broken trust (the man unable to hold a sword, but upholding samurai principles of honor and wisdom), the tongs that honed mizu’s smithcraft under swordfather’s guidance (the artisan, a blind man who sees more than most). to make of herself a blade strong enough to see her promises through, she must hold her monstrosity and honor and compassion and artistry in equal import

she is the onryō, and the ronin, and the bride, and all the people she has collected.

with this we finally come to mizu as the phoenix. mizu undergoes many cycles of death and rebirth, both in the main storyline and the flashbacks into her life leading up to the present. often, mizu is juxtaposed against literal flames—the burning of his childhood home, swordfather’s forge, the fire as he battles the giant in the infiltrated castle, the heart sutra forge of her own making, the climactic second confrontation with fowler. not every death/rebirth mizu undergoes is thematic to flame, of course. the fight with the four fangs, spliced with the rebirth ceremony of the town, for example, or the deaths of her ronin-self and bride-self, giving rise to the onryō

he is the phoenix, unable to truly die: every fatal combat he pulls back from the brink, reborn over and over in the wake of failure and setback. in episode 1, mizu prays for the gods to “let [him] die.” not to help him to face death unafraid, not to die with honor or victory, but to die at all. mizu has experienced death a thousand times over, but not once has it stuck

(( as a parting aside: the ronin’s rage at the phoenix clan for killing his lord parallels mizu’s self hatred of his mixed heritage (which he believes to be the thing that killed his mother), and so the ronin’s quest for revenge against the phoenix clan is mirrored in mizu’s quest to kill the white part of himself as best he can, by killing the white men who could be his father ))

mizu, the ronin. mizu, the bride. mizu, the onryō. mizu, the phoenix.

#blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #hopefully this is mostly coherent #I have more things to say but this was getting lengthy #there's also a lot of gender and racial nuance I've glossed over here for an attempt at brevity and structure #god also the COLOR. do you know how much I have to say about the use of color and shadow as a reflection of the narrative #maybe I'll write another damn essay who knows #this show really scratches the part of my brain that was academically trained in film analysis #blue speaks

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 10 months

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I'm in love with your drawing of Wally and Howdy fighting over the arm. I love how mad Poppy is. Her saying "is2g" gave me the idea that she starts cussing more the longer she has to deal with this bs. And I'm also imagining Frank leaning against Eddie's hat saying "oh Eddie we're really in it now"

10 out of 10 artwork. Good job. No notes.

it has been Well Received it seems! i'm very pleased, i was hoping i wouldn't be the only one who found it funny ahaha

and i couldn't resist:

#if poppy knew swears she would probably end up using them yeah #but none of them know swears! if i scribble them swearing its for Comedic Effect!#because children's show puppets saying 'fuck' is peak humor imo #thinking very hard about the four of them and their experiences together #wh lights out au #scribble salad #rambles from the bog #god. one day i want to fuckin Write this au.#because i dont have it in me to plan out scribbles and draw 'comics' for it In Order #so yall are just getting bits and pieces from random parts #i do want to write it though #i need to know them i need to Know Them for that #their speech patterns their likes their dislikes their vernacular their voices their emotions their opinions and quirks #hopefully this desire to write for it persists through that point #i suppose i could... write a shitty rough draft #a very bland rough draft that would just be the basics...#that could make it easier for future me to edit and tweak and ReWrite #i am Considering....#hopefully i manage to write the Actual au and not just the aftermath which takes up 90% of the au's room in my head #but that is something i won't be talking about!#if the au gets written it'd be a Massive Spoiler! plus i'd probably write th aftermath as a companion sequel! maybe two!#for the different perspectives of course. or it would be a bonus fic where each chapter is a snapshot... hm thinking Thinking...

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lucalicatteart · 6 months

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sculpted a strange shimmery two headed snail, speckled with wild flowers on it's shell~

#sculpture #snail #fantasy art #I have never sculpted or even drawn a snail before #so hopefully the anatomy is not incredibly off #(though if so.. I guess it could also just pass as further Strange Magical Mutations lol)#It doesn't show up as well in the photo but the shell has some irridescent eyeshadow on it so it kind of alternates a little warm #red and teal as you move it.#Made for an art contest on a game that I play lol (I wouldnt normally think to sculpt a snail on my own if it werent part of a #prompt) but I do kind of like the way it came out.. sort of..#Perhaps a real creature that exists in Nanyevimi (my worldbuilding setting) in some capacity then.. hrmm #also in relevance to this blog i DO STILL WANT TO finish the story with the little adventurer... goursh I have just had so much going on..#all of my little side projects like that have fallen away for so long. I really want his advneture to reach a tiny conclusion though #And shout out to that one person that always reblogged them and left nice comments in the tags also.. :'3 #Poll Adventures.... not over... simply was on temporary evil hiatus due to Me Feeling Sick Constantly All Summer and so on and so forth #aughhh.. woe and agonyyy *dramatically drops to my knees in the middle of a rain storm like some tragic movie scene #kneeling into the cold earth as i cradle the half-living bodies of all of my half-finished creative projects in my arms*#ANYWAY... lol..... erm.. snail time

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chipper-smol · 2 years

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made a handful of lmk posts and I already have an AU? that tracks

what if Macaque became stuck as Sun Wukong’s literal shadow, essentially making the worst pair of roommates you’ve ever seen?

Extra Bonus:

#lego monkie kid #lmk #sun wukong #six eared acaque #Re-boundAU #myart #fanart #ive drawn like an introductory image like thREE TIMES #took a break on one and then went like 'OOH but what if i did it from this angle?'#did that twice #anyway #get ready for annoying roommate shenanigans #I like the shadowpeach ship but the way I ship shadowpeach is #sfnfsfng I ship them like annoying roommates #so this'll hopefully be fun for both parts of the fandom who enjoy and dont enjoy the ship #also if you cant tell im being super clean with my language so this actually shOWS UP IN THE TAG

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seancefemme · 1 year

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love it when he’s being annoying as hell <3

#im so normal about him #yay yay yipeeeeeeee #lalo terrorizing gus and mike is easily the best part of the show #lalo salamanca #bcs #better call saul #better call saul fanart #also yes this is me sheepishly shuffling my way back to posting stuff again lol hopefully...im scared #thought id start with a silly sketch cause i have no energy for bigger stuff forgive me #mine #bcs fanart #mike ehrmantraut #drawing lacho next cause I’m sane and normal

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hachiibun · 1 year

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❗ PLEASE NO REBLOGGING TO NON-KINK BLOGS ❗

I'm honoured to have collaborated with the incredible @onetrickponi to celebrate a certain gravity-manipulating shorty's birthday! This has been in the works for a while now, and we're both really excited to finally share this with everyone!

Without further ado, we'd like to present Vigil.

— ♠ —

“I’ve always wanted to die in a church.”

Beside him, Chuuya snorts. “I thought you wanted to die in the Ooka.”

Dazai wrinkles his nose. “Not since it became a tourist trap,” he replies. “That wouldn’t be a peaceful death at all.”

“The amount of thought you’ve put into this disturbs me,” says Chuuya, his own nose creasing. His, however, is due to a low seated, buzzing itch along the bridge of his sinuses that has been lingering since breakfast.

Chuuya won’t give it the satisfaction of culminating into a sneeze, however; instead choosing to quash the soft tingle into oblivion with the sheer force of his willpower alone. Anything else would be unacceptable.

(—as well as fucking candy to the idiot next to him, if Dazai ever gets wind of…whatever this is.)

Chuuya swallows against a spark of itch that ignites in his nose and grits his teeth. When he thinks he can speak steadily he points to the pews with a gloved hand. “Find the flash drive,” he orders. “We’ve got a window of thirty minutes at—the fuck are you looking at, shithead?”

Dazai cocks his head to the side, blinks, and answers with, “Just admiring your striking resemblance to a cherub in this light.” It’s smooth and practiced, like most of Dazai’s bullshittery.

“Why, you–” Chuuya cuts himself off and exhales slowly through his nose. He tries not to wince at the slight whistling sound it makes. With a sharp sniff he stalks off to the sanctuary and begins sifting through the drawers there. Dazai scurries off to the apse with an excited noise, muttering something about how angelic his corpse would look strung up along the mosaics.

Chuuya’s nose gives a foreboding quiver.

It isn’t like Dazai hasn’t ever heard him sneeze, or vice versa. They’ve been working together too long for that. They’ve seen each other express every bodily function possible to man (in addition to the ones that aren’t).

And Chuuya might have even been okay with his current predicament, had it not been for a quip Dazai made last week about Chuuya being a “weakling.” It had stung because Dazai, whose lack of self care is, frankly, appalling, can operate seemingly unbothered by even the most serious neglects of basic needs. Chuuya’s seen him run at peak wit on days of sleeping ninety minutes a night, seen his hair and skin glow on a diet of crab cakes and sake…while on the other hand Chuuya’s the one with the—

Don’t say it. As if ignoring the problem will make it go away. It hasn’t worked with Dazai, so Chuuya is a fool to think it will work with his increasingly sensitive airways.

Chuuya rifles through some bibles, sparing a glance or two at Dazai before deeming it okay to swallow a couple of sneezes and throat clears into his sleeve. He’s perfected the silent stifle over time, which is a feat in and of itself since Chuuya tends to sneeze harshly, loudly, and in multiples. Perhaps the intensity is Corruption at work, but regardless, Chuuya enjoys scaring the living daylights out of people. Usually.

The flash drive is proving to be elusive. The Port needs it, badly, if they have any chance of winning over the west side gangs of the Pier. Chuuya jams a gloved knuckle against the side of his nose as he hitches, squints, and glares at the church pews like they personally offend him.

“Oi, Chuuya,” Dazai whisper-calls from somewhere behind a cupboard. “I think someone’s coming. You find it?”

“No,” Chuuya snaps. The dust of old, flaky books is making his already irritated nose twitch. He shakes his head and the tickle abates. Cocking his head he realizes that Dazai is right; the sound of slow footfalls is getting closer to the vestibule. “Shit.”

Dazai scurries lightly over to where Chuuya is glowering at nothing in particular, and takes him by the arm. “There’s a little den area over there,” he nods to a veiled corner, “where we can stay hidden until whoever it is leaves,” he says.

“Or we can just come back in the morning,” replies Chuuya, snatching his arm away.

“Mori-sama will be disappoinnnteddd,” Dazai sing-songs. Dammit. He knows how to hit Chuuya where it hurts and they both know it.

Chuuya sighs. “Fine.” He stalks over to the den and crouches in the darkness with Dazai just as the cathedral doors swing open. The gibbous moon twinkles through the stained glass windows enough for the two of them to make out one of the western gang’s right hands.

Dazai crouches low and squints through the shadows. “Maybe he’ll show us where the drive is,” he whispers.

“Shut up, slug.”

Dazai holds up his bandaged hands in a familiar, placating gesture. They watch the guy glide down the stone nave, rummage around some boxes along the altar’s steps, sift through a stack of papers, and make himself comfortable on a nearby cushion.

Well, there goes Chuuya’s hopes of a night in. And now with Dazai sitting so close, he’s bound to find out Chuuya isn’t in as good of shape as he claims. Chuuya’s not going to waste all of his energy hiding it, but he’s also not ready to be discovered because he couldn’t keep his damn nose under control.

He’d never hear the end of it from Dazai.

So when he feels a trickle of damp at the edges of his nostrils he takes a slow breath in and times a much-needed sniffle with their visitor’s dropping of a folder. Dazai shoots him a curious, but unsurprised glance, which Chuuya pointedly ignores.

The sneeze teasing the swollen membranes of his sinuses, however, is much harder to ignore. Chuuya knows he can stifle it, but he also knows that doing so won’t exactly solve the problem. The irritation needs somewhere to go, or it’ll just build fruitlessly until he lets them out proper.

He breathes carefully, making sure to hitch silently as he bunches up a handful of fabric from his jacket. Chuuya ducks his head in preparation for the sneeze (or sneezes, if this is indeed a…cold).

Dazai raises an eyebrow as he watches Chuuya curl into himself and shiver with two inaudible stifles. When Chuuya uncurls Dazai can see the bleary, hazy look of someone who still has desperately to sneeze but is trying very hard not to.

“Can you stop, Chibi?” whispers Dazai. Chuuya shoots him a look that is equal parts furious and embarrassed. It’s adorable. But…

“Frankly, I’d rather not get caught because you couldn’t tame your little nose there,” Dazai continues. “Are you suuure you’re good?”

Chuuya gives a curt nod. Which should be reassuring, but Dazai’s smile falters because this is actually very bad. He recognizes the lack of quip, even while hiding like this, means that Chuuya does not trust himself enough to speak. He’s seen it before.

Dazai flicks an errant strand of hair out of his eyes and sighs. “Maybe we really will die in a church, if you keep this up.”

Chuuya’s returning grin is feral. “Y-you wish.” No way in hell will he allow Dazai the satisfaction. The carpets blanketing the enclosed den mean that they can whisper without much of an echo. It’s a small relief, since Chuuya can feel the congestion crawling and pattering away in a far back place of his nose, dormant but threatening.

He focuses on how intently Dazai is eyeing him, knowing well what Dazai isn’t saying. Engaging would be easy, but it would be messy and they’re supposed to be currying favor with the west side gangs, not killing them (or in Dazai’s case, very emphatically bonking them on the head).

Chuuya’s right eye waters with the sharpness of the tickle, as the itchiness swells and becomes decidedly less dormant. He bites his lip. If this keeps up his nose is going to turn into fucking Krakatoa.

Dazai watches Chuuya massage his flaring nostrils through the fabric of his gloves and grins with as many teeth as he can muster. Chuuya’s losing battle with his nose is even more hilarious than the fact that he’s currently sitting on a pile of Communion pamphlets.

It won’t be long now, what with the way Chuuya has gone stiff and rigid. Dazai counts backwards from five in his head. He gets to two before Chuuya’s lip trembles as the itch erupts and overwhelms him.

“Gnt!” Chuuya’s able to pinch that one into submission, though it makes his head throb and the pulsating trickle along his nose intensify with unsatisfied need. “Gnt! Nt! H’Gnt!”

He starts to lower his hand, before—“Gnt!” Jesus fuck, can’t he be done?

The answer is no, apparently, because Chuuya feels his eyes begin to flutter shut and his chest start to jump with silent, building hitches.

Before he can sneeze again, however, he feels a tap on his shoulder. It successfully distracts him from the budding sneeze as Chuuya whips his head around to stare at Dazai’s familiar, shit-eating grin.

Dazai uses the finger he’d tapped Chuuya with to beckon. “C’mere.”

Chuuya sniffs carefully and squints. “Why?”

Rolling his eyes, Dazai grabs him (gently, Chuuya notices, which okay, is a little odd) and smashes his face into his long overcoat (a little less gently).

“Mnflgl?” Chuuya questions.

“Sneeze, Chuuya,” Dazai orders. Chuuya tries to shake his head because one, Dazai’s forgetting how harsh his sneezes are—sure to give them away, and two, Chuuya might hate the guy but he’s not going to sneeze on him.

Dazai seems to read his mind. “The fabric will muffle the sound,” he replies. “And you’ll pay for my dry cleaning.” Chuuya can hear his smirk. Asshole.

But he also wants very badly to sneeze. No; at this point he’s desperate to sneeze. His nose feels like one of his gravity bombs, pulsing, thrumming, and the itch is all consuming. It would feel so good to just let a few out. He really shouldn’t.

“I know you need to,” whispers Dazai.

So, against all logic, Chuuya does.

“Hep-MPPH! MPPHT! H’MPPH!” Somehow, the fabric dampens the sound better than Chuuya thought it would. So he decides he can sneeze a little more.

“Hh…hh…MPPHT! PHT! MPPHT! Hp!…H-Hep-MPPHH!”

He’s beginning to feel dizzy. It’s worth it, though, as the stuffy, spider-crawling prickle along his nose subsides for the time being. God, he’s never had to sneeze so badly in his life. Makes sense it’s now, when he needs to be quiet.

And Dazai—the utter prick—is patting his head, like Chuuya’s some sort of mutt. “You’re a mess, you know that?” he’s saying, fondly, as Chuuya shakes with sneeze after sneeze. It’s a wonder the gang’s right hand hasn’t discovered them yet.

Slowly, Chuuya comes up for air. He thanks some leviathan god that it’s dark, so he doesn’t have to look at what he’s done to Dazai’s coat. He’s not even going to look at Dazai, because this is probably one of the most humiliating things to happen to him in…well, not as long as Chuuya’d like to admit. This is Dazai, after all.

“Bless you,” Dazai says quietly. Chuuya’s head snaps to him because Dazai sounds wrong. Odd. Genuine. Ah, that’s why it took so long to place. Dazai rarely does sincere, and the few times he expresses genuine emotions tend to signify nothing good at all.

“Thank you,” Chuuya mutters between a clenched jaw because he may have made a mess of himself but he still has manners, goddammit. He blinks the remaining wetness from his eyes as he peers at Dazai for a suspended moment.

“Oh, and if you’re curious, the guy left five minutes ago.”

And the moment is over.

Chuuya jumps up. “You utter assho-ho–” He’s cut off by the familiar needling sensation at the back of his nose. Oh no you don’t. Jamming a fist under his septum hard enough to bruise, he points a finger at Dazai.

“I despise you,” he hisses. “All thihh…th…hih…”

Dazai holds a hand to his ear. “What was that?”

Chuuya shakes his head with a tickly sniff in hopes that his nose will make up its mind and move from where it’s currently settled—in the burning, stinging place between sneeze and not sneeze that’s driving him even more up the wall than Dazai is.

Dazai cocks his head at just the right angle that a piece of hair falls into his eyes. “That sneeze looks troublesome,” he observes. “Is it stuck? Like Chuuya’s growth spurt?”

Chuuya growls and kicks a nearby chair leg for good measure, now that they don’t have to concern themselves with being quiet. The sound is hollow and echoes across the large cathedral chamber.

There’s a wrinkled, damp spot on one side of Dazai’s overcoat that Chuuya pointedly avoids looking at. The crazy bastard had let him do that, all for, what? Funsies? To torture him? Chuuya will unpack that for later. It never bodes well to try to make sense of Dazai’s brain. Besides, the much-needed sneeze is still eluding him. If he could just–just…

“Hih…Hept! Hh…Fuck! Shit!”

Dazai sighs. “Okay, I can’t watch this,” he says, striding over to Chuuya. “Stay still, Chibi.”

Chuuya glares at him, irritation evident in his eyes and in his raw, wide-blown nostrils. “If you’re doi’g anythi’g other thad helpi’g, Dazai, I will obliterate you,” he says darkly, throat crackling and sore.

Dazai grins wide. “Relax,” he says. He wiggles a finger. “I know Chuuya’s sneeze spot.”

“What the fuck even is a—” Dazai presses a finger to the bridge of Chuuya’s nose, in the center, and gives it a circular rub back and forth. Chuuya stumbles back and manages a wavering, shaky curse in French before he snaps forward with a fusillade of unrestrained sneezes.

“Hih-ASHHHu! Hep’ASHHU! AHSSHU! AHSSH! AHSSHH! AHSSHU! Merde!…Heh-heh…hih’ASHHU!”

Chuuya sneezes and sneezes, for once uncaring about decorum. It’s a miracle his hat doesn’t fly off. He’s so overcome with finally scratching the itch in his nose that he almost doesn’t feel the tap at his shoulder. Dazai’s extending a packet of tissues that look like they were newly purchased.

“Goodness! I don’t know whether to bless Chuuya or call an exorcist,” he remarks.

“Shut up,” Chuuya mutters around a tissue. With that annoyance out of the way, it’s seeping in just how awful he feels. He sighs, heavy, and rubs at a temple. “Nom de dieu…”

“I really don’t know how someone so little can sneeze with such ferocity,” continues Dazai, ignoring Chuuya. It’s easy to say the man was put on this earth for the sole purpose of making Chuuya’s life miserable. “Hih…ASHHU!” Chuuya’s head gives a throb and things slide out of focus for a minute. He coughs, rough, and pushes some sweaty hair away from his face. How unsightly.

“Oh, and Chuuya?” Dazai makes a burlesque of leaning in and peering at him. “The next time you’re sick, call in, okay?” And then he reaches one lanky arm over and pats Chuuya’s head.

“I never said I was sick,” Chuuya snaps, jerking out of reach. Dazai makes to poke his nose again, but Chuuya evades him with a hoarse snarl. “Stop.”

In response, Dazai gives him a condescending look that Chuuya knows well. It’s the one where he purses his lips and crinkles up his large, dark eyes. The one he knows infuriates Chuuya the most. “Please,” he says, waving a hand. “I knew before we even got here. Just wanted to see how long you could keep it up.”

Chuuya opens his mouth to utter some expletive, he doesn’t know which one yet, but the sneezy feeling decides to return—bristling like a thousand tiny whiskers along the rims of his inner nose. Stifling it to refute Dazai’s point will only make his head pound harder, so Chuuya wrenches to the side with a sneeze. Which, naturally, makes him cough.

“Hmmm, you really don’t sound good, Chuuya.”

“Fuck you.”

Dazai makes a face. “Ew, no thanks. But since you’re already paying for my dry cleaning, why don’t I treat you to a nice bowl of leek soup and tea?”

Dazai is so confusing at times Chuuya could strangle him. Or at least blame him for the acute emotional whiplash.

“Hh’ASSHu! AHSSH! J'en peux plus…” Chuuya twitches his nose to the side and straightens his hat. “Whatever—let’s just find that drive and get the hell out of here so I can go to bed,” he grumbles. It’s not exactly a refusal (because tea does in fact sound nice), but Chuuya is more than done with this place.

“You mean this?” Dazai wiggles a little USB between two bandaged fingers. Chuuya sputters. “Yup. Found it ages ago and switched it with a fake.”

“AAH?!”

— Fin —

#snz #snz kink #hachiisnzart #ch/uuy/a n/akahar/a #b/ungo st/ray d/ogs #o/sam/u d/az/ai #hachiibunart #ppls fics #onetrickponi #my GOODNESS poni your writing #give all the thanks to poni for the wonderful fic and patience waiting for me to finish #seeing all the ppl into b/s/d nowadays is so lovely #i'm still v much into the series and especially this angry shorty #hopefully it shows in my part >;)

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r0semultiverse · 7 months

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What is going on with Cosmic Owl? 🦉 SOOOOO much is happening at once!

Also does anyone got any ideas about the 2 stars & the demon & angel wing phone design as far as characters go that we've seen before? 👀

#I honestly can't think of anyone #though for some reason the deadworlds popped into my head immediately upon seeing the phone again when I rewatched that part #if anyone has any ideas please let me know! I'd love to talk about it #apologies in advance if I forget to respond to people #I have the audhd real bad lmao #I wonder if the cosmic owl knows something is wrong & is trying to lure Scarab away from Prismo idk #my thoughts are so jumbled right now after watching all of that!!#hopefully this shows up in the tags this time since it didn't last time for some reason #I just wanna know if anyone's got any ideas about whats going on; tmblr plzzzz #mine #op #adventure time spoilers #adventure time fionna and cake #adventure time #fionna and cake

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nano30cm · 3 days

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hey how's it going. I'm working hard on this comic I'm making of these guys and it's been a minute, so please accept this outfit reference I made for them and ignore the fact that everyone is off model. Hopefully I'll be done in a week but my hand is injured so it really depends on when it lets me draw!

#look alive #reprise reprise #total drama fanart #td owen #td noah #td izzy #td eva #td oc #izzy's shoes are wack I might change them but eva looks perfect #a wee bit too short #and owen is too short and too thin but im hopefully doing better in the actual comic #noahs fine his daughter is the star of the show #owens big ass timbs are my favourite part of his design #ive learned a lot abt clip studio doing this its great

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pyrriax · 1 month

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hello here to ask about the seraphim au again lol

what are wisps? how is disability handled among seraphs? what is the most common way for them to get disabled? how fucked up is spoke exactly? like does he have abnormally long limbs? does he have limbs that he really shouldnt? is there a way for the ones in the fray to get up to the vesper esp with all the ruin? are there any other weapons of war lying around aside from centurions?

this au is really interesting and i love finding out more about it :D

Hello welcome back! I'm happy to answer your questions i love talking about this thing ^_^

Yet another long post ahead, but I've gone ahead and answered all of your questions in as much detail as I can without fully spoiling anything! 👍

What is a Wisp? (Where do they come from, what're they like?)

Wisps are another common creature, originating from cast magic. They vary in size, shape, color, and type, although the most common are ones which have a tendency to either cause small explosions, or light fires. Because of the way their bodies are comprised primarily of magic, they are constantly expending this energy, and thus don't accumulate it the same way that most things do.

These wisps are a common pest in the Vesper, a little like rats, but also a bit more potentially damaging, as they're drawn to places with a high magic content and flow. Although, they're rarely found at the pools in the Fray. This is mostly because Centurions have taken to killing them on sight, since they are quite fond of feeding off the energy which is used to keep them functional. It's a special thing, and it's their favorite.

Once upon a time, they actually had a use, but now they're just considered a bit of a waste product from magic casting.

(Although, that hasn't stopped some curious Seraphs from wondering if it'd be possible to domesticate them in a sense. They aren't inherently harmful, even if they have a habit of starting little fires or blowing cracks in walls. Some wisps simply sap energy and laze about, and though they become rarer later on, these are the ones that stick around places the longest.)

Certain wisps expend their excess energy with mimicry and shapeshifting, some of my references for them are birds like European Starlings and Superb Lyrebirds. Often times, their mimicry can make them even more of a nuisance, especially before the Seraph's extinction, as they were known to lead Seraphim astray by mimicking distress calls and even the sounds of clashing metal. Shapeshifting-wise, they tended to prefer creatures of a similar mass, so most often they'd take forms no bigger than medium sized cats, since anything larger is significantly bigger than any typical wisp. These ones didn't often last long after being created, but they were well documented.

They used to be kept out of important places in the Vesper with gates and small spells, but as those diminished, they began to creep in once again. Their presence sped up the collapse, but it couldn't exactly be prevented.

How is disability handled among seraphs? (Along with a brief explanation of some pieces of Seraphim culture)

Overall, it's treated as something to be respected, as it tends to be the result of actions not the Seraph's own, or of actions that were for the greater good of either the Seraph, or the Vesper as a whole. But, there are certain things which are much more looked down upon, and that is typically things like blindness or missing wings. These types of injuries, and related disabilities (stunted flight, limited vision [in cases where the blindness is partial], etc.), are viewed as almost childish, due to the fact they're especially common occurrences for Seraphim youth.

Older Seraphs commonly deal with lower mobility, at least in comparison to their younger counterparts. While Seraphs will snip and bite at each other (both literally and metaphorically), they are still a social species and care for their ill and disabled. Typically, any care being done for a Seraph will be done by those closer to them, mostly their inner circle and occasionally those associated with those Seraphs.

In cases of lost limbs, for any reason (regardless of how it may be viewed), if all the injury does is heal over and become more of a typical stump, the spot will be adorned with jewelry, and even tattoos or specifically dyed feathers, depending on the specific spot. Rather than being something hidden, these things are typically decorated, highlighted as a show of life and living. This is a bit of a remnant of an old myth which was lost long before anything was written, but it speaks of highlighting these losses as a triumph of life. It's a little bit of a "this is our gift from the stars [in reference to an almost-god] and we must show our appreciation, lest it be taken from us." Along with that, it's viewed as a way of warding off Wisps and other pests from these vulnerable spots.

Common patterns & symbols in these types of jewelry include but aren't limited to: ferns / laurel, flowers (varying types depending on the city, although the most common ones in Vesper are lily of the valley and bleeding hearts), spirals, and insects (again, of varying types depending on the city, the most common ones in Vesper are beetles or millipedes, although the latter are much less common.)

These pieces are made out of a variety of materials, but typically the basis is metals, either cast and shaped or twisted wire, depending on the Seraph's preferences. Pieces of the grown stars used for Centurions are also common place, along with common crystals. Everything used is subject to change, as these are personal to the Seraphs and will reflect their preferences, and even their favorite things. Over time, this jewelry may be reforged and adapted to better suit the Seraph, as time goes on.

What is the most common way for Seraphs to end up disabled? (And maybe a little hint of lore, as a treat)

So, I've mentioned some of the most commonly disabling things, but how the hell does that even happen?

Seraphs have their nasty habit of fighting amongst themselves, which is only more common with the younger of the bunch. While it isn't pleasant, it isn't unheard of for these fights to reach the point of weak points being clawed at/out. Which often entails wings being at the least taken out of their sockets, and at worst clawed off. In the same thread, eyes are also a common spot to be gone after.

But, as time went on, these types of fights became less common, so scars and marks from these fights are more often seen on the fully grown Seraphs. At least, this is the most accepted answer. Though, the truth of it is that usually, Seraphs lost limb and life to the fights which were so often instigated. While it's been most attributed to overly violent youth, it was much more an effect of war. At least, that was before the Centurions.

After them, however, things shifted. Without nearly as many Seraphs out actively participating in the fight aside from those that remained to ensure the Centurions' function, the most commonly disabling occurrences were related to either overexertion of magic over a long period of time (leading to effects a little similar to chronic fatigue & pain) and flight related injury. Though, that was tied with... Poaching related damage to stars.

Damaged stars? Poaching?

As I've already mentioned briefly here, Seraphim stars became a useful weapon due to their properties. While I won't elaborate much more than that for some mild spoiler reasons, let it be known that Seraphs were once revered as gods, but this began to turn into resentment over time. But, what does a damaged star entail for them?

A Seraph with a damaged star (whether it be cracked or chipped, both having different but lasting effects) doesn't often live more than a handful of years longer, as the magic that typically circulates through their body will begin to stagnate. This causes to formation of a sediment of sorts that accumulates in extremities and places like the eyes, mouth, and will even begin to seep into the keratin in their body, as well as their bones/marrow, coloring any new growth anything from pink to deep blues and greens.

While Seraphs are known for having a variety of colors which naturally and commonly occur in their feathers and flesh, these colors are associated heavily with this type of ailment, and those with these colors are often avoided by some of the more paranoid. (There is no risk to other Seraphim, this is a lot like how people will avoid those they perceive as ill / sick even when they know it won't affect them.)

Cracked Stars (All pieces present, but with slight separation or small fragments loose): Slower overall progression, characterized by weakness and general lethargy, along with sharp pain and numbness in extremities as time goes on, since the magic that Seraphs rely on doesn't flow quite how it's supposed to, along with the appearance of the aforementioned colors, since they tend to live long enough for it to completely change their appearance.

Chipped Stars (Pieces are missing, typically from failed removal attempts): Much faster progression, often to an almost violent effect, as instead of accumulating slowly, the magic which would form a sediment will instead begin to crystalize rapidly, making them only really able to live about a year after at most. This can also be the most sudden, as a chipped star likely won't be noticed until there are Wisps circling the Seraph, and sharp pain and complete loss of feeling (a side effect of the magic that's basically pouring out of them, which will make them much like the Centurions in this regard, as they cannot contain the magic.)

Malformed Stars (Not injury based, but included due to the relation and similarities): Some Seraphs are born with malformed stars and will have coloration associated with cracked stars from the very start. Although, it's entirely possible that they can live for a while longer than those whose stars get cracked, as their bodies are given the opportunity to properly adjust, as well as the lack of excess magic directly leaking into their bodies. Varying from Seraph to Seraph, they can have much more volatile magic, or that's less potent than is typical.

So what the fuck is the deal with Spoke? (Why is he like that?)

Spoke is a case of a potentially good thing being used in the worst way possible. Grown stars (or artificial stars, or anything to that degree) are perfect for Centurions, being able to be used as a baseline for the creation of pseudo-personage, a pseudo-soul, if you will. But, the problem is when they interact with another soul. Natural souls will eat away at artificial ones, and this lead to an extremely volatile reaction within Spoke. Along with the issue of souls, human bodies are not exactly made to regulate the magic that comes with these stars, and it causes... Complications.

Caught in an odd place where he both does and doesn't even physically exist at all, Spoke is a little like the ghosts that've taken to haunting the library in the absence of Seraphs. Varying even minute to minute, he can go from looking a little off (almost a little uncanny, in a way. Limbs slightly the wrong proportions, just enough to ring as odd, but not completely distorted) to being almost unrecognizable as human at all, practically surrounded by a thick layer of ambient magic, which can make him look like a bit like a shadow.

Although, as time goes on, this becomes much less varied, and instead, it manifests in the beginnings of Seraph-like features, including an additional set of non-functional eyes. As well, there is a certain dark-green-almost-black that makes his extremities look almost necrotic, although they aren't. This is just a manifestation of the excess magic, much like how it looks for Seraphim with cracked stars. For a period of time, he had grown the beginnings of an additional limb (although, it never got far, as it began to become excruciatingly painful for him), but it was removed.

Spoke is basically in limbo between being alive and dead, which has had its own interesting effects on his psyche, and really, if any true Seraph were there, he likely would've been mercy killed to spare him from this. But, he's happy as can be, despite the agonies. Much like any other human with a star place in them, there is most definitely a noticeable mark that resulted from it, something which has only grown over time. A little like what could've just been a scar at the start begins to morph into creeping vines, looking more and more like they've been struck with lightning.

(This is probably the most subject-to-change-as-i-write thing here, since I'm not 100% set on the primary appearance of it. There are major differences between Seraphim-stars and Grown-stars, and one of those major differences is that Seraphim-stars are much more stable, as they've had a long period of time to be refined and cultivated. Meanwhile grown-stars aren't given that kind of time, and are only an approximation of the real thing. While they can heal and prolong life, they lack the rhyme or reason that Seraphim ones will abide by. They don't know when to quit. They will form tumors and create what I can only describe as an excess of life, they make people sick, they shouldn't be used on organic things even if it's the only option. There's a reason Seraphs will sooner die than use one. They are viable for Centurions purely because of the lack of organic growth.)

Let's talk the Fray (and a little bit about the War, shall we?)

is there a way for the ones in the fray to get up to the vesper esp with all the ruin?

Really, it depends on the scenario! Before the death of the Seraphs, going between the two places was inconvenient, but possible. Typically it involved making some kind of trade with one of the Seraphim in order to be brought to the Vesper, although this was rare. The handful of human mages that did exist were able to move freely between the two places, but they disappeared not long after they began to be noticed. Though, they made a little bit of a resurgence as almost ghost-like figures, after the Seraphs' death.

Seraphim were able to go between the two places, as they never lost their flight, but even those who struggled with it were able to use their magic in order to go between. Centurions were unable to go between the two, as they were designated their places and functionally left to continue that task ad infinium. Humans were a rare sight, but on occasion human merchants were known to get up to the Vesper, usually using crude airships.

are there any other weapons of war lying around aside from centurions?

To be a little ominous for the sake of not spoiling too much: yes. Yes, there are, and they are only getting worse for wear, and even if their creators are long dead, they are not. They're still there, waiting to be called upon once again, to lay the world to even greater waste. Slumbering giants, if you will. I'll be elaborating on these especially in the main fic I have planned, so this is a "wait and see" kind of deal ^_^

Also if you've gotten this far I want to point you toward some art that vaguely inspired the baseline I have for wisps because I love this art and it fascinates me!

first piece is by ida lissner, second by tealnewcombart on etsy, third by tracy debenport!

i couldn't find the much more vibrantly colored type of almost psychedelic art that i've really drawn a fair bit of inspiration from, at least with the colors, these show a lot of the Shapes that i think of with them

#ask a ghost #asker: citrusinicake #au: seraphim #haunted bookshelf #only like 2.5k words later o7 #ALSO i am happy to talk more if you have any questions or thoughts abt this au because there is a lot and there are things i havent #even really gotten to yet but hopefully this answered the questions you posed in a mostly satisfying way ^_^#if youre curious about characters or any thoughts i have for anybody i havent mentioned before ive been working a little on some #smaller side stuff but im mostly focusing on two parts. i actually need to decide who to focus on for the original Fall as clown's #perspective doesnt actually show very much of it....... ive gotta work on the proper writing but this is my little side project #“”“little”“” side project that is lol

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aquilamage · 11 months

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I haven’t been insane about Vi enough lately so time to pour out some random thoughts. free association thinking time:

been thinking about her “It's my savings. I wanna be rich, okay? So I can travel, eat well, buy cool stuff… So no one can say I can't do something!” And none of the following will really be insightful or revelatory because it’s just what she says here but. yeah! that’s vi! the main reason she’s so big on money is because she has to be to get what she wants out of life! it’s what lets her say no to people telling her what to do, and that’s important to her because she has no choice but to be independent and support herself. because no one else will. No one at the Hive had anything positive or supportive to say about her being an explorer until she went out and did it (to a ridiculously successful degree, too. I have to wonder if/how it might’ve differed if she was on a regular accomplishment level team. not the one leading them all to the mission to the Hive). she never had a choice not to be. I could also see that being a little part of why she starts out not really being a teamwork person. past experiences have taught her she can’t rely on anyone else for support. (does make me wonder about what if she’d met Chubee before leaving the Hive. obviously she still would’ve left, but how might even a bit of support have changed other things?)

I feel like we don’t talk about the fact that The Beemerang Is Also Knives enough

ok so at one point there was this post talking about people with money and how it affects their life like. if you can afford to get a nanny then you can only do the fun parts of childcare and when you stop feeling like taking care of the kid you can just hand them to someone else to take them away. and again likely not especially revelatory but I would guess that’s the kind of way queen bianca handled the bees as her daughters (she does care about them. absolutely. but not in the same hands-on attached way as we usually associate with parents) and thinking about how that kind of treatment would then apply to vi....hm

in universes where discussions of Gender and Pronouns etc happen I think she has moments where she gets frustrated with the everything of Being Referred To and Having Complicated Identity She Hasn’t Quite Figured Yet and is like. gender is cancelled how dare you refer to me. but especially anyone else calls me a girl ever i will be stabbing them

also I think a lot about what circumstances she finds out about gayness/Gender being things. and whether she’s thought about it in herself before and whether she’d been dismissed on it/told it wasn’t a thing etc. most circumstances she ends up angry about the finding out times because of (un)consicious internal conflict stuff

underground tavern stuff implies she was definitely doing quests and stuff for money with them precanon. would kill to know what specifically it was. but also the first talk with utter implies that she was doing stuff off that questboard as well which is even more intriguing. utter’s spy also implies you don’t have to be an explorer to do them but otherwise you would think you did I feel. so again very curious what was up there

#inspired by that girl blorbos post and also me trying to think about where in the game they drop facts and such about precanon stuff w her #the urge to try and fic about the stuff between her leaving the hive and showing up at the association....strong again #'the hive didn't do anything' my ass. vi might have also been a jerk but it's just that she was the more obvious #easily labeled incident version of it. she was active while her treatment was the subtle passive neglect type of bad treatment #complex situation and also. yeah #an aquila original #vi bug fables #bug fables #also featuring funky gender lesbian stuff because thats not even headcanon. to me #hopefully the reasoning out stuff doesn't just come out like a load of nonsense #vi's one of those characters where I definitely feel comfortable in writing her on a basic level but some parts I'm super insecure about #and the part with her is in really capturing the complexities of her backstory and family issues #and the thing is it's like. I have to remind myself that some parts of how canon did her on that are actually decent #and I should pay attention to those complexities. but then also canon definitely did some of their 'this hasn't really been earned'#resolution stuff on her. mostly thinking about the postcanon dialogue with Bianca. it's jsut too much of a jump for that for me #and it's not even that I necessarily think bianca's dialogue is out of character. it's that I'm contemplating whether it would've #made more sense for vi to get angry about it. like.#ok so. sometimes i think about what coming out to my family might be like. and I've come to the conclusion that if they were just accepting #despite the fact that it would be best case scenario I'd be angry about it. because they've said some shitty stuff in the past. in general #they've made me feel unsafe about myself. so no actually you don't get to just suddenly be chill about it now fuck you.#it doesn't change the past hurts #and I could see Vi being like that too. even if part of her is happy about getting what she wanted to start with she's pissed about #only getting it now. with a side helping of also wondering if the approval /now/ is only because she's been so successful about it #what if she hadn't been so specially favored by elizant? what if she hadn't been on the team that saved the world? why did she (maybe) have #to earn the approval she should've had from the start?#also not gonna get into this one right now but tweaking her story with jaune to acknowledge that theyre both at fault in different ways #(again). would be nice #but now I'm definitely veering into repeating myself type rambling territory so

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perpetually-profoundly-confused · 2 years

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*pops back into existence* Anyways guess what I've been rewatching

#part of it is definitely nostalgia but dang this show is so good #pepper makes a thing #also as soon as I figure out how it works you WILL be seeing some changed around here and YES I am keeping that vague #soue #series of unfortunate events #i'm also (hopefully) not going to be as online as much; really trying to limit my time online (online meaning social media)

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starredforlife · 3 months

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sorry I’m just actually sick to death of being told I’m intimidating . I know it’s scary when a woman talks without apologizing for herself constantly but maybe uhhhhh grow up!!!

#I’m not Scary on purpose literally I don’t fucking. growl at people #I don’t glare at them or be mean #can I be condescending? sure. it’s something I’m working on.#but how is it that I get demonized for this and straight men get way with it fucking constantly. and it’s an accepted and sometimes beloved #part of them #if one more fucking person tells me I’m intimidating bc I speak clearly and ask questions I’m going to lose my fucking mind #star’s thoughts #sorry this is a culmination of a bunch of shit lol #just bc I’m not scared of you doesn’t mean you need to be scared of me 😭😭😭😭😭 pleaseeee #part of me is thinking I’ve just been experiencing like intense lesbophobia or smthn at this point bc what the fuck #do I do that offends people off the bat.#but then I remember how I Am and rumors are true I border on the line of arrogance I dance on the showboat I flirt harshly with confidence #I think I have an issue where people have to earn my respect in conversation #and that is rightfully intimidating. probably some kind of protective tactic #I command it but also I demand you Show Up upfront and I can see how that’s like. anxiety inducing #I’m shifting to try and offer that respect upfront instead and hopefully that’ll make people feel less on edge #this has been like. a mini diary. sorry lol

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polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup · 3 months

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Just finished reading pez dispenser debris.

Firstly: crying, screaming, throwing up, ball’s to the wall insane. I am taking this fic between my teeth and shaking it furiously like a dog with its favorite toy. I am running circles in my enclosure just to bleed off some of the emotions this experience has given me.

Secondly: this fic is heart wrenching. All of the things I would’ve wished had been addressed in canon content of BNHA. How does Horikoshi throw away one of the biggest points that enraptures the audience into caring about Izuku? How does the narrative seemingly forget the entire reason he was so fervent in chasing his dream as a hero? I think this is one of the biggest gripes I have about the series, and it’s the one that’s only ever been remedied by amazing fic writers like you.

How do you face the part of yourself you’ve seemingly buried and forgotten? How do you come to terms with the fact that horrible things happened to you by no fault of your own? What’s the fallout of realizing that the people who should’ve cared and protected you might’ve also been hurting you all along?

Where do you even begin in this entire mess?

A part of me, despite the fantastical elements of the medium itself, feels so incredibly seen by this. It’s incredibly difficult, making amends with the part of yourself that was so deeply hurt in the past. It’s a part of life, i think, to learn to walk beside that part of you, to lay it to rest and acknowledge that it will always be there. Izuku, of course, has done none of this, and in this lies the crutch of the matter that’s the center of this fic. I’m happy I stumbled across this fic, even though I haven’t consumed BNHA content in years.

That being said, do you allow any works inspired by your own? I need to put down some of the emotional toll this fic has done to me on paper. Apologies for the ramble, i am just really passionate about this fic. Hope to see more of your work in the future!

I’m so so happy you like it! I wanted pez dispenser debris to be this horrible reconciliation with the part of you that was still hurt and mad about it, and I’m so glad that resonated.

And absolutely, go for it! I’m thrilled it made enough of an impact to make you want to make something too. I do usually ask that you stick in a note or link or something giving credit to the original fic, and if you’re comfortable with it, send me a link to anything you publish and I’d love to boost it here!

#pez dispenser debris #I’m sooo happy you like it #and if you do make and post any fics inspired by it please show me them I’d love to see them and reblog a link #so other people that follow me can see them too #I do generally ask that you stick a little nod into the original fic #in part because I do tend to reuse concepts or backstories or details across my fics especially if I write anything else in the fandom #(I do this egregiously with my daredevil fanfics)#and it saves me trouble from people thinking I lifted my own plots from other fics inspired by one of my earlier works #I’ve been doing fanfic on and off for a decade and it’s happened once or twice where someone’s messaged about lifting my own stuff #and I was always like ‘what.’#it saves me trouble in the long run #there’s less confusion #but I am always thrilled when people like my stuff enough to want to create themselves #please go nuts and have fun and hopefully one day I get to read it too

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