꒰ 𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐑 ꒱ 허윤진
summary : you love your girlfriend, yunjin, and you finally told her
genre : fluff, yunjin x gn!reader, drabble, oneshot, established relationship
tws : pet names
author notes : it's just a blessing in disguise ₊˚✩
word count : 0.5k
you couldn’t sleep. not because the temperature was too hot or too cold. you’d even tried every remedy in the book, resulting in a melatonin pill — or two. still, your eyes stayed wide, staring at the ceiling like it would disappear if you looked away.
you weren’t a stranger to a running mind. actually, you were quite used to restlessness. however, this distasteful night was different. you felt as if everything was mocking you; the moon, the shadows that would dance against your walls, and the stars that wouldn’t shoot and grant your only wish.
which, was to be with your girlfriend at this exact moment.
you missed the lingering of her perfume, the floral, yet still spicy scent that mixed your senses into overdrive. you missed just knowing that she was at your side, and lamely, you missed holding her close.
you always were busy, and so was she — you couldn't be prouder of all the things that she's accomplished. you, after all, were her biggest fan. in fact, she was recording a song tonight, which is why she was late. you'd left the company before her, after much, much convincing from her end, and you almost let it slip.
you weren't very vulnerable, which you blame on the surrounding world, but every time you look into her eyes, you just can't help but to fall a littler harder.
you loved her.
and, you've known this feeling for a little while. you laid awake and thought about her, you slept and dreamt of her. she was clichely your whole personality; which you didn't mind. you couldn't help the butterflies that swarmed at the sight of her beauty. you thought you must've had to be the luckiest person in the world to date a girl like her.
she was everything you've ever wanted. sometimes — most times — you thought that she must've been designed to be your very soulmate.
you really hadn't believed in fate before meeting her.
the familiar creak of the hinges made you sit up, wide-eyed. the girl who stood in the doorway looked amused — and a little surprised — to find you still awake at this time of night.
"yunjin," you sighed out, almost like her sight relived you, "did you eat?"
she laughed, "hi, hun. yes, i did with kazuha before we left."
you swung your legs over the side of your shared bed, going over to the girl and embracing her lightly. she smiled into the crook of your neck, squeezing you back gently.
she pulled away, going to set her things down against the dresser at the side of the room. her voice was soft, but still strong, "are you alright, love?" you switched the light on, watching her pull some clothes from the drawer and place them in the curve of her elbow. "you could've gone to sleep, you didn't have to wait up. i know you have to get up early tomorrow."
you quickly shut the guilt off before it had a chance to creep up on her, "it's okay. i sleep better with you anyways."
she turned and you blushed at the awe-inducing visuals you were sure you could never grow tired of. her lips pressed to yours sweetly, and you swear your heart stopped beating at the contact.
you were convinced no one could care for you the way she did.
"i love you."
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꒰ 𝐁𝐔𝐘 𝐌𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 ꒱ 咲良/サクラ
summary : your boyfriend has a track record of not being around, and your tipping point was him leaving you alone on christmas
genre : romance, kpop-idol!sakura x afab!reader, friends to lovers
tws : language, implied cheating, emotional neglect
author notes : little christmas ting, kkura's my girlfriend #reallyreal
word count : 1.6k
“y/n,” you looked from the glass cup your fore-finger was circling. The man across the table, your boyfriend of what seemed like all your time yet none of it all, was trying to gauge your attention on him. “i can’t be with you this christmas, i’m sorry i ha—”
you deadpanned, borderline a disgusted look on your face. “wait, are you fucking serious?” you expect let-downs on the regular, but he knew that this holiday was your favorite, and if you didn’t spend it with him, you wouldn’t spend it with anyone. he knew the last thing you wanted to do was be alone on christmas… after the last time.
“baby,” he began, but it didn’t even have an ounce of sincerity, “work has just been so busy, baby, i’ll try to get off but you know—”
“no.” you blurted defeatedly, knowing that if you didn’t stop him it would somehow morph into it being your fault he had to work. “no, you and i both know it’s no use. it’s fine, i understand.”
he smiled solemnly, you returning it half-heartedly, “thank you, i’ll make it up to you. i promise.” he began getting up, collecting his things from the chair next to him and pulling his winter coat to sit on his shoulders. “i have to run, and i’ll be late. so, i’ll just see you tomorrow, okay? don’t wait up for me, baby.”
you sighed, “you better make it up to me.”
he kissed the top of your head in response, promptly leaving you to finish the coffee sat in front of you all on your lonesome. it was almost embarrassing, causing you to look around and see if anyone was openly judging you.
sometimes, it seems like you find yourself debating if the good outweighs the neglect more than you find yourself just thinking about your boyfriend — like you should be doing instead of the latter — however, you really can’t tell if he loves you or just loves the idea of being in love with you.
the snow disappeared against your hands as you awaited your ride. you stuffed the bitter feeling deep inside, and tried to not focus on the descent of the situation. at least he always made do with making it up to you. he always kept his word, when sometimes you wished he didn’t; sometimes you wished just once he’d lie with your thoughts in his mind.
you watched as a black van pulled off to the side, the rear passenger side swinging open. the person in the car beckoned for you to follow as they swiftly pushed themselves to the other seat, making room for you. you did as desired, getting into the car and pulling the door shut. the warm air instantly found place around you, causing goosebumps to line your skin.
the atmosphere was quiet and calm, despite your racing thoughts and blood as the driver pulled back onto the bustling streets of seoul during rush hour.
you looked to your left, where a greyish-lavender haired girl was sat turned to you. her eyes were wide, mostly because you hadn’t said a word since getting into the backseat with your best friend in the entire world. she was wearing a fancy outfit in contrast to the casual style she’d usually opt for, and her makeup was still done. it made you wonder if she had just finished with a schedule, or if she was still in the middle of one.
“kkura,” you began, but you knew that she’d drop anything for you — and she has, evidently — making a slight blush creep onto your features, “did you at least tell them where you were going?”
“our manager and i are locked in,” she joked, twisting her middle and fore-finger together, “he won’t tell a soul.”
“what if you’re kidnapped one day?”
she gave you a knowing look, “you have my location on, dummy. it’s not gonna happen on your watch.”
you turned away, looking out at the fluorescent lights that casted against the moon, which had just started rising. there was a slight snow that you could only visibly see through the beams or as the flakes crashed against the windshield. sakura placed a hand on top of yours, telling you non-verbally to say what was on your mind; though you weren’t even sure anymore.
your eyes started to well in the comfort of her presence. you spoke softly, but still loud enough over the beeping and screeching of tires.
“he said he wasn’t going to be with me on christmas.”
“w-what?” she choked, twisting her body so that her leg closest to you rested on the leather, “are you fucking serious? again?”
"i don't know why I stay with him at this point. first it was valentine's day and now christmas. maybe he doesn't love me as much as i want him to."
"then he's a fool." she scoffed out, "you're too good for him anyways — i bet he didn't even get you anything, much less something good. i don't wanna be this person, but i love you and you should know you have options despite being committed to a man who isn't committed to you."
you were taken aback, taking more than a couple of seconds to process the truth-bomb she had launched on you. the more you think about it, the more the pieces fall into places you didn't want them to; but, you can't force a square into a circle. you thought you could take it, but how long is too long to feel alone before it starts to take a toll? maybe you weren't meant to be with him — no, you weren't — you deserved someone who would be there for you on a holiday that is literally dedicated to spending it with family and loved-ones.
once, you admit could've been a fluke, something you got over. then what was twice? just a coincidence? if this was something you were supposed to get used to, you thought you were doing a bad job at convincing yourself to just live with it.
in reality, the words i love you can only makes you feel so loved when actions speak louder — despite your efforts to keep them quiet.
truthfully, the only person who has ever showed you how much you meant to them was the woman sat at your side, comforting you when she should be yelling at you to break up with him. but, she knew you better than that, and sometimes you were convinced she knew you better than yourself. she knew you’d never do something simply because she told you to, she knew you’d think it over diligently, weigh out the pros and cons before jumping head first into something you can’t undo.
she knew you, when you didn’t even know yourself. she knew your desires and your needs. and you knew that she was one to put them above all else, otherwise she wouldn’t be sitting in traffic with you. she knew you and she loved you despite how stupid you could be sometimes when trying to please everyone.
“kkura?” your voice came out as a squeak, and her attention peaked with you meeting her eyes, “should i break up with him — for good?” you almost winced out.
there was zero hesitation in her voice, "yes." she said simply.
you didn't expect to give in to her desires, much less her as well, but maybe it was too much to watch someone she cares about be unhappy.
"you deserve to be happy with someone who treats you like an actual person and not an object that is bought and returned whenever he gets bored. you deserve — y-you deserve someone like —"
you kept staring wide-eyed. sure, you've heard sakura be adamant, however it was not often that it was on your behalf. but what else would you really expect from her? you thought you had an understanding over her, but the way she stuttered while looking all but through you (like you were so used to) flustered your mind.
her voice lowered significantly, "— someone like me."
"w-what?"
"I mean, you deserve someone who would drop anything to come pick you up during rush hour, outside some random-ass coffee shop in seoul during the holidays. you deserve so much more, and i'm sorry that i can't take your side if you decide to stay with him. you know i'd do anything, but y/n, i can't do that."
"it's okay," you don't know why the desire to put a hand on her cheek arose, however you let it get washed away with the windshield wiper against snow. "i don't think i'm going to go against you. i think it's too much. i-i'm just tired, kkura. i'm tired of being the second choice."
maybe she was super-human and could read your mind; it would explain how she could always be at your side and seemingly never get in trouble for it. she reached out a hand and tenderly touched your cheek, wiping away a tear that you hadn't realized fell. "you're never my second choice."
you almost resisted the feeling bubbling inside you as her thumb soothed your burning skin. you almost pulled away from her touch — almost didn't give in to the temptation, the intimacy that felt so foreign but comfortable. you almost laughed when you realized that the boyfriend you needed wasn't even a boy at all; you know she treats you better anyways.
"kkura?" you voiced, asking breathily into the air. her eyes were piercing you, boring into the crevasses you weren't even scared of her seeing. she hummed a response, too caught up in staring at your lips moving to even verbally get anything else out. "will you spend christmas with me?"
you hadn't realized the proximity — or lack therefor-of — until her breath was hitting the bottom half of your face.
"yes," she practically sighed out in relief, almost like she thought you'd ask never ask, "but not as friends."
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