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jaerie · 3 years

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Fic Writer Questions

I was tagged by @allwaswell16 and @becomeawendybird

1) How many works do you have on AO3? 125 not counting anons

2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 1,311,423

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

3 fandoms. One Direction, Hanson, Thor. Wait. The Moffatts as well. So 4 I guess..... maybe a few others sprinkled in WAY back in the day.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Where Do We Go Now

Just Jump

come on over, we've got something to share

Woke Up Feeling Knotty

The Post-War BP

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

ummmmm angstiest ENDING? ummmm maybe the dexter AU? because it doesn’t really explain much, just gives you an illusion of how things are

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Ummmmmmm pretty much all of them because I get mean comments if it doesnt end the way people want it to.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Not much. I did write a Dexter AU... and I’ve wanted to write a bunch, but I just really haven’t. I guess my wordplay fic this year is technically one! I don’t know about anything crazy though

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Absolutely. Dirty, graphic smut. The kind of smut that will introduce you to new kinks and make you question your whole life up to that point.

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

It’s like new years resolutions. I always say I’m going to... and then............ My intention is to answer comments but it just becomes A LOT. And I never know what to say other than “thank you for reading!” unless its something specific I can comment on. Soooo I guess my anxiety says it’s better not to comment than to just say generic thank yous. I miss the LJ days when you’d write novel comments for each chapter and then have a long thread back and forth with the author fangirling over specific scenes or wording or plot point or a particular line that struck you... but Ao3 just isn’t that kind of community really.

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Sure have! I’ve had some of the nastiest things thrown at me both directly and indirectly. Mainly by entitled people sitting behind computer screens sending me pissy comments on anon because I didn’t write the fic the way they wanted it to be written tailored to their preferences and fantasies. Or people who are all WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN type hate comments.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes. They used to pop up on Wattpad a lot. I even had someone repost on Ao3.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

I’ve found translations up on Wattpad before... but the above reason is exactly why I don’t allow translations. That and because (and this is no offense to ANYONE who is multilingual, that is impressive!) I don’t trust that the story and feelings and emotions would be translated correctly.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Kind of? But not in a serious cowriting situation. It was moreso just for fun in the past but I think I’m too much of a control freak over where I want plots and characters to go.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Harry and Louis probably. I’ve never written so many fics for any other fandom nor was I ever so consistent on reading a specific pairing before. They just fit. I don’t really have another explanation.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I’m going to get tomatoes thrown at me if I say which one I’m really thinking of :-x but I have plenty of half finished fics in my google docs that I want to but will never finish because of hate comments or things people have said about it that stomped all over my excitement. Like this one fic I won’t be too specific on because certain people will know what I’m talking about and I’m not out here to call out the person who did this... but it was a hybrid fic and in a group chat we were explaining hybrids and I shared artwork I found explaining how I envisioned hybrids in my head and someone in the chat said “that’s not a hybrid, that’s a furry” and the way it happened basically made me want to delete every hybrid fic I’ve ever posted and made me abandon the whole thing even though I’d already written 30k of it and it was GRAND. God I loved that idea so fucking much. A certain someone asks about it now and then... but yea. That’s the real reason I abandoned it and will never finish it even if I sometimes want to. Actually I might have deleted it during one of the #darktimes a few months ago. RIP to all the fic beginnings and fragments and nearly finished masterpieces that fell victim to the massacre.

16) What are your writing strengths?

World building? Smut? Emotion? This is hard because the things people probably think I do well are probably things I think I suck at.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

English. And double spaces. I will take those to my fucking grave. Fight me.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I.... don’t. Because of above. Someone will tell me I’m wrong which my brain will translate as you’re dumb and should never attempt to write words in anyt language again LOL but for real. The fear of messing it up is too strong.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Hanson

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hard one... All of my favourite fics are also fics that I know could have been better had I dedicated more time to them or been more patient before rushing to post. Doing that sort by kudos thing above really shocked me that some of my least favourite or meh fics are the most popular

In no particular order, here are some of my favourites through the years:

Old Photographs & Times I'll Remember

Sisterwives

High Heels, Red Dress

Tonight's the Night

As We Were, As We Are

The Wilds

OmegaVision

Captain Jack

Saving's What I Need

Stay Close, Hold Steady

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hljournal · 4 years

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Today’s author is suspendrs / @suspendrs ! Don’t forget to give the fics kudos and leave a comment!

to the cloud and the cold (2k)

Or, Louis is a Summer Fairy, Harry is an Autumn Fairy, and the autumn equinox is the best day of the year.

fearless (97k)

“You’re my best friend, Louis,” Harry says, barely above a whisper. Even if he was yelling, Louis wouldn’t be able to believe his ears. “And I know it’s been a while, but you’re still the person I consider my best friend,” Harry says.

Louis blinks, and then blinks again. “I honestly cannot say the same, Harry,” he says.

Or, Harry left home without a word after high school, and a lot can change in ten years.

just a little dance (1k)

“Keep your head up, love,” he says, pulling away and grabbing Harry’s hands. “Dance with me.”

“I don’t want to dance,” Harry pouts, but he lets Louis pull him into the center of the dark kitchen, anyway.

“Just a little dance,” Louis says, tugging Harry’s hands until he’s flush against his front.

Or, a tiny drabble based on the cutest lyric from perfect now

ferricadooza! (65k)

Harry can’t even fathom the idea of surrendering; he’d fight ‘til he died, if he had to, anything to keep from surrendering.

Or, the year is 1963, homosexuality is illegal in the UK, Louis owns a gay bar, and Harry’s an underground boxing champion with an unfortunate enemy.

at last, at last (41k)

“Come with us,” Tommo says, stopping at the other end of the gymnasium, near the doors. “Don’t let them make you suffer any longer. Come with us, and be human.”

Before Harry has even finished thinking it through, he’s on his feet, gaining the attention of every single person in the gymnasium. What has he got to lose, anyway?

Or, Harry is born into a cult in a post-apocalyptic world, and Louis is the leader of the rebel group tasked with the mission of shutting them down. Together, they make a rather effective team.

the act of making noise (32k)

“Oh,” Harry frowns, waving him off. “No, I could never. I respect myself too much to sing for a living.”

It feels like a slap across the face, but Louis does his best not to stiffen, blinking once and then frowning. “What?”

“Those people are always so miserable, you know?” Harry says, hopping down off his stool and straightening his sweater. “There’s so much pressure on them, and they have to work so hard to keep up appearances, I can’t even imagine how difficult that is. I can’t even stand to listen to pop music today, let alone watch TV or read the magazines. It makes me so sad, thinking that those people, you know, the ones who actually went into it with heart, they only ever just wanted to make music and instead they got turned into things on leashes being paraded around to make money for other people,” he says. “Anyway, you can have the stool.”

Or, Louis's famous, Harry has no idea who he is, and they get snowed in together at a ski lodge in Vermont.

walls (20k)

The thing about having been on the move so much for the past five years is that now, once they’re finally able to sit down and rest for a bit, they don’t really know what to do with themselves. Louis loved the pace of the band, for all he and the others complained about it; he isn’t very fond of sitting still, and he absolutely loathes boredom, and there was very little space in their lives for either of those things while they were so busy putting out an album every year and touring more often than not. Being in the same room as Harry while neither of them are under the pressure of keeping up appearances feels like being in a room with a total stranger, and the amount of trouble they’re having trying to get to know each other again is really rather alarming.

Or, a love one whole decade in the making, inspired by Louis's debut album.

fine line (22k)

There’s still a lot of things they don’t talk about, a lot of things they don’t bring home with them at the end of the day, and a lot of things that don’t even need to be said. The world is the world and it sucks sometimes, but it’s far away when Harry’s at home and Louis’s here with him and none of it needs to matter when it could just as easily be ignored. Harry tries to open up sometimes, tries to bring Louis into his world, but Louis’s got a world of his own to tend to, and it feels like more often than not they are on two separate planets and the universe just keeps expanding.

Or, a love three more years in the making, inspired by Harry’s sophomore album.

out for a duck (2k)

“Well, once I got control of Clifford, I took him right back to the house and changed my clothes and gave him one hell of a dressing down, let me tell you,” he scoffs. “And then I felt so bad I went back out to see if the duck had gone back to her eggs, and that Clifford hadn’t damaged them or hurt the duck at all. She wasn’t there when I got back, and I sat there for hours waiting for her, but she never showed her face! She just up and abandoned her babies, just left them there cold and alone, all because a dog barked at her,” he sighs, shaking his head.

“Still not sure why the eggs are now in my kitchen,” Louis frowns.

“I couldn’t just leave them there!” Harry says. “It was my fault they were abandoned! Well, Clifford’s fault, but whatever. I couldn’t live with myself if I just left them there to die. So I came back to the house and got a bowl and some gloves and scooped them up so I could bring them home and keep them warm until they hatch.”

Or, Harry accidentally adopts two duck eggs.

what’s inside your imagination (is as real as anything else) (3k)

“Hey!” Niall shouts suddenly, scaring Harry nearly out of his hat. “We like your costume!”

The ghost turns to glance at Niall, producing a hand from under the sheet and giving him a thumbs up. Harry can’t help but laugh a little more, the casual gesture adding to the entire vibe of the sunglasses-wearing ghost.

The ghost looks at them for a moment longer before turning and disappearing into the crowd again, and Harry sighs. “I love Halloween,” he says thoughtfully.

Or, Harry's a witch who likes to pretend he's a human pretending he's a witch, and Louis's the human in a not-so-clever costume that keeps catching his eye.

satellite (100k)

“It’s been three years since I’ve had a proper hot meal,” Louis says finally. “I have no idea where my family is, or if any of them are even still alive. The only reason I’ve been able to keep myself alive for as long as I have is because I keep to myself, stay guarded, stay hidden. It’s the only way I know how to live,” he says.

Harry wants to cry, but he tries to put on a brave face when Louis finally meets his eyes. “You’re safe here. You don’t have to be so guarded around me,” Harry says quietly, earnestly.

“That’s very sweet of you,” Louis says, putting his fork down. “But yes I do. Especially around you.”

Or, Harry finds out that someone's been living in his house without him knowing, but instead of kicking him out, he falls in love with him.

sugar in a plum (4k)

“I’m your dad,” Harry says softly, extending his hand to Plum for her to have a sniff. Plum considers for a moment, looks up at Louis, and then bites Harry’s finger.

“Ow!” Harry shrieks, pulling his hand away quickly. He’s not bleeding, but Plum’s teeth are incredibly sharp, he feels like he’s been stabbed with ten tiny needles. “Jesus, Lou, I thought we were getting a cat, not a demon.”

Or, Harry's new kitten is out to ruin his life.

there are no atheists in foxholes (64k)

“Do you think we’ll ever see it again?” Harry asks after a minute. “London?”

Louis blinks, looking down. They very well could spend the rest of their lives on this island, and they’re both very aware of that. Everyone probably already thinks they’re dead, anyway. Their flats are going to be sold, and their families are going to have funerals, and life is going to go on without them. Even if they do get rescued, it’s already been days. The news of the shipwreck has definitely reached London by now. They don’t know if there’s been any effort to look for survivors, but they also don’t know how far away from the wreck they are, or how far people are going to go to look for them, or if anyone even knows that this island is here and, like, it’s very possible that they’ve already looked and stopped looking for survivors, and no one knows they’re out here-

“I don’t know,” Louis says, before he can start spiraling. “I hope so, but I don’t know.”

Or, the sea takes everything from Louis, but it gives him back more than he ever could’ve asked for.

it ain’t right, but isn’t it amazing (7k)

It’s all Niall’s fault, as most things are. Niall’s the one that made the bloody Tinder account in the first place, and the one that added every decent looking photo of Louis he could find on his phone, and the one that swiped right on the first fifteen guys that popped up. Yeah, Louis might have done the rest of the work that landed him here, in the men’s toilets of a Japanese restaurant in west London with vomit dripping down his chin and down the very, very attractive chest of the very, very attractive man in front of him, but Niall started it.

Or, Harry takes Louis for sushi on the first date. It doesn't go well.

keep this love in a photograph (48k)

“I could never forget a damn thing about you, Harry Styles, not even if I wanted to,” Louis says. His hair falls into his face when he glances over at Harry, the moonlight reflecting off of it and making it glow golden, like maybe Louis himself is the sun.

Harry thinks of how dark and cold his life got once Louis went away, how Harry got a taste of the sweetest sunshine imaginable and then was plunged into the longest winter of his life. He feels like he’s been buried under mounds of snow for months, years, and he’s finally made it to spring, finally getting another taste of how wonderful life can be.

Or, it’s 1919, and Harry’s been falling in love with his best friend for his entire life.

thrills don’t come for free (4k)

The night before comes back to him slowly, puking in the toilet at the club and then falling asleep in his car in the parking lot. He closes his eyes again for a moment until he realizes that the car is on and moving, and someone is driving it that isn’t him.

He picks his head up and peers between the seats, catching sight of a perfect stranger sitting behind the wheel, singing quietly and driving Louis’s car.

Or, Louis has a bit too much to drink and falls asleep in the backseat of Harry's car.

not even the gods above (25k)

The thing is, though, this isn’t good enough for Harry. Sure, he has the rest of his life to be a notable king, but he wants to be notable now. He wants to bring the two kingdoms together and he wants to do it early on, wants to be the one to facilitate the merge until it seems like the two kingdoms were one all along. He doesn’t want to wait, but everyone he’s turned to thinks waiting is the right choice, so he supposes he has to trust them.

That is, of course, until a declaration of war from the Kingdom of Tomlinson shows up at his palace.

somewhere far away from here (12k)

“Harry,” Louis says, squeezing his arm. “Do you know her?”

“My sister,” Harry mutters, eyes glued to the screen.

“What’s she saying?” Louis asks, voice quiet. “What does she want?”

“Me,” Harry murmurs, hardly a breath. “She knows I’m here.”

Or, Harry's sister comes to Earth to bring him home, but Harry's got a few things keeping him here.

i’ll take your pain (2k)

It’s kind of romantic when Harry thinks about it, feeling all the pain of the person he’s supposed to love for the rest of his life. Sure, it’s rather inconvenient when he’s in class and his soulmate gets kicked in the balls, or when he’s sleeping and his soulmate knocks his head or his knee off something. It’d be nice if the function helped them to find each other, but Harry supposes he can live with knowing that they’re destined to run into each other someday.

Or, soulmates have the ability to feel each other's pain, and Harry finds his after getting his arse waxed. (Or, the soulmate au crack fic I can't believe I actually wrote.)

the pink album (31k)

They don’t really discuss how hard it is to be in this situation, or to be doing the things they have to do to continue being together. It’s just something they don’t talk about, and that’s alright. Or maybe it isn’t, but they’ll cross that bridge when they get to it.

Or, a love seven years in the making, inspired by Harry's debut album.

i’ll make this feel like home (41k)

It’s nerdy, much nerdier than anything Harry would have engaged in back home. Perrie and Ed are singing some song from West Side Story and Stan is just giggling along, and it’s almost weird how weird Harry doesn’t find it. Liam and Niall would be running as fast as they could from this interaction, but somehow, Harry finds himself giggling along as well.

Maybe it’s because no one in this group seems like they should belong in this group, but Harry feels like he fits right in. He feels more himself than he has in weeks when Louis plops down beside him for a couple moments and throws out another title to add to their movie marathon. Even though he can’t contribute to the conversation about musicals and he has no idea whether The King and I or Oklahoma is more important, he never feels like an outsider.

Or, Harry is new to Plymouth and has had a rough start, but Louis won't rest until he makes it start to feel like home.

dirty laudry looks good on you (19k)

“So um, Niall mentioned you haven’t lived here long. What brings you to London?”

“What is this, an interview?” Louis smirks, stealing Harry’s drink and taking a sip. “Wanted a change of scenery. Dunno.”

Harry hums and takes his drink back, narrowing his eyes playfully at Louis as he takes a long sip. “Can I buy you a drink, or would you rather keep sharing mine?”

“You most certainly can buy me a drink,” Louis grins, grabbing the bottle back out of Harry’s hand, “but I’m still going to be stealing yours.”

Or, Harry is jaded and sad and resigned to be forever alone, until Niall sets him up with a friend of his whose broken pieces may just fit pretty well with Harry's.

we’ve got to get away from here (23k)

“It is my understanding that you are the most comprehensive member of this agency in the field of extraterrestrial life, is that right?” the agent asks. He’s trying to sound calm, but Louis can tell he’s shaken as well.

“Um, I guess so,” Louis says, glancing over at the man in the blanket again.

Suddenly, Louis’s blood runs cold. There’s something off about the man, something in his gaze, something Louis can’t put his finger on. It’s terribly unsettling, but excitement bubbles in his gut.

Or, Louis is an FBI agent who likes to think himself a paranormal expert, and Harry is the alien that somehow ended up in his office.

in midnights, in cups of coffee (15k)

“Sorry about the sugar,” Louis says, backing toward his own flat. “Bundle up before you go out.”

Harry smiles so sweetly then that Louis can’t imagine he’ll even need the sugar, if the muffins aren’t sweet enough just because they were made by him. “Thanks,” he says, eyes lingering a little longer on Louis before he lets himself back into Gemma’s apartment, and then Louis is just standing in the hallway by himself.

Or, Louis is overworked and cold, Harry is stressed out, and they might be in love.

come away with me (80k)

Or, Louis has to pick up the pieces of his and his daughter's life after his wife dies, and Harry is a beautiful stranger that just wants to help.

in the night (19k)

Or, the self-indulgent reversed pov and slight continuation of come away with me.

my song has not been sung (2k)

Or, Harry is watching a protest from the sidelines until a boy with a rainbow flag and a pretty smile drags him right into the middle of it.

i’ll be home for christmas (12k)

Or, Louis and Harry can’t decide where to go on Christmas.

autumn leaves (27k)

Or, Harry is an American soldier in France during World War II, and Louis is a French waiter that doesn't mean to fall in love with him.

we’ve got unfinished business (7k)

Or, there’s a ghost in Harry and Louis’s apartment that seemingly just wants them to date.

falling in love with you again (4k)

Or, three times in which Louis fell in love with Harry all over again.

heading for a small disaster (20k)

Or, Harry drives an Uber and Louis’s life is falling apart.

don’t stop to worry (4k)

It was just supposed to be a trim today, to skim off the dead ends of his hair. He had no idea it’d end the way it did.

Or, Harry cuts his hair. It's kind of a big deal.

diamonds, they fade (1k)

The cold does nothing tonight but remind Louis of the boy he left inside, the boy that’s curled up under the blankets by himself right now, the boy that’s probably going to come looking for him soon when he wakes up and Louis isn’t there.

Or, Louis has insomnia.

maps can be poems when you’re on your own (19k)

Or, Harry falls in love with the guy his best friend is fooling around with.

we could be enough (4k)

Or, Harry runs an anonymous crush confession column in the school newspaper and Louis has quite the crush to write in about.

no place to call home (22k)

Or, Louis isn't Peter Pan and Harry isn't Wendy and Neverland is nothing like Harry thought it would be, but it's perfect anyway.

show a little mercy (3k)

Louis hates him so, so much. But then again, he’s never loved someone quite so fiercely.

Or, Louis and Harry try to break up. (Or, a drabble based on Love You Goodbye)

kiss me on the mouth and set me free (17k)

Or, Louis is a gamer and Harry is a beauty guru, and VidCon is a good place to fall in love.

sing me like a choir (17k)

Or, Harry is nervous to do actual makeup on his channel, until his boyfriend Louis helps him out.

please don’t bite (21k)

Or, Harry releases his own line of beauty products, and Louis feels abandoned when Harry’s newfound fame gets the best of him.

underneath the christmas tree (17k)

Louis sends Harry on a scavenger hunt on Christmas Eve.

to be loved and to be in love (50k)

Harry and Louis' first year as a couple, as captured by snippets of home movies.

hope your heart is strong enough (4k)

Prompt: Set in the US, Harry spends Thanksgiving with Louis' family, or vice versa. Chaos ensues.

to watch you fall (16k)

Or, Harry is lonely and Louis is engaged to be married.

give me your hand and i’ll hold it (18k)

Prompt: Harry (9) moves in next to Louis (11). They have little roofs under their bedroom windows and like to sit there and talk. Seven years later, Louis has to leave for college.

you make me strong (14k)

Louis comes home from war with a few more problems than he left with, but Harry can't find it in himself to let him go.

#faaw #fics

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lorettapetrichor · 3 years

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i was tagged for this by @calamity-unlocked sdghsdfhjs!!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

on my main pseud? 12. including the ones on my other pseud and the ones i changed to be anonymous bc of old/cringey writing? 18.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

~58k, but a lot of that is from my friend's fic that i coauthored a couple chapters with. my personal total is ~39k!

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

i have a Lot of Extremely old fics lingering in my drive from my warrior cat days of elementary and middle school but my ao3 is only Steven Universe and Amphibia, with one SU/D&D crossover!

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

don't blame yourself (because you tried as hard as hell)

this one is just a oneshot i whipped out in a couple days that ended up being pretty popular! marcanne hurt/comfort apparently resonates with a lot of people, lmao.

heir of the flowers

this is the previously mentioned collab fic! i considered not including it on here since i feel like @fullmusicbard is really the holder of those kudos, but i'm going to just go by ao3's stats, so there's some promo for her! it's a canon-divergent steven universe fic, going with the concept of "what if the escape in the episode 'jailbreak' didn't go as planned?"

heroes on fire

a self-indulgent late-season-3 amphibia theory fic! beginning with the defeat of andrias, going through some recovery stuff, and eventually, the defeat of the night! i really haven't worked on this for a while since i have other projects in progress, but i'd love to get out the remaining chapters before the season 3 premiere!

homesick (if it helps you breathe)

i'm so glad that this fic ended up in my top five after all the work i put into it! this is a songfic, based on "homesick" by sleeping at last, made up of a series of interconnected vignettes about the girls being trapped in amphibia for many years. i put a ton of work into this, and i think it paid off!

noise

a long-abandoned steven universe fic, based on a concept of steven's gem being bleached in change your mind. i wish i could come back to it, but i've lost my interest in a lot of the darkness of this au.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i try to respond to comments as often as possible, but sometimes i feel intimidated if some author whose fics i stalk pops by to post one! sdgsdhj i do read and highly appreciate every single one!

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

frog, i have a lot of very dark fics that i've now set to not show up on my profile. the angstiest one i have currently published would have to either be everything. or look at how my tears ricochet. they are about the same character, same scene, same concept, so i'd say they're tied!

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

one of my current wips is a crossover with redwall! however, the only crossover fic i've actually posted is a D&D crossover with steven universe: on the sea

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

i really don't think i have? if i did i deleted it and blocked it from memory sghfsdjgs

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

absolutely not lmao

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope!

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, i haven't!

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i've mentioned this a few times, but i featured as a coauthor on a few chapters of my friend's steven universe fic heir of the flowers! go give that fic all the kudos sgdhfsdhjghj

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

any ship of the calamity trio is awesome ngl. sashannarcy is so snazzy sgdsjhgjs. in order, my other fave ships of them are marcanne, sasharcy, and sashanne. frog i love them.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i have this drabble of the scene where anne breaks her arm in toad tax completely written out but i'm just not sure what to do with it! i feel like it either needs to be half of a two-shot or embedded as a flashback/memory scene in another work (which i've actually done with my drabbles in the past!) but for now it's just sitting in my drive.

15) What are your writing strengths?

i've been told again and again that i'm amazing at emotions, and i think a lot of that is because of how much my character interactions pull from my experiences. for instance, homesick was originally conceptualized as a vent while i was away at summer camp, and i just stretched my own homesickness even further in order to capture the feelings of the girls! it's not uncommon for dialogue in my fics to be pulled directly from my life.

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

getting a fic of any actual real length down on paper! i am blown away by anyone who can have a fic that's anything over 50k words– my total wordcount for all my published fics doesn't even break that!

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i've never included another language in a fic, half because i'm too scared of butchering it with google translate, half because i've never had the opportunity or the need to! if i did, i feel like my best option as someone who only speaks english would be to simply write the dialogue in english but note that it was said in another language.

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

warrior cats.......

19) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

homesick (if it helps you breathe) or eyes forward!

tagging @fullmusicbard and @ anyone else who wants to steal this!

#lore talks #my writing #homesick (if it helps you breathe)#ony tagging that fic since i talked about it the most #tag game

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scarlettlawyer · 5 years

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Phantoms and Mirages Commentary, Part 2

(Part 1 here)

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 11

Simon hadn’t expected the phrase ‘how you say’ to be uttered by a foreigner outside of fiction, but there it was.

HAHAHAAA. Now that’s what I call good foreshadowing! I also found this sentence rather interesting the first time around because I was, in fact, reading a work of fiction. But also, I thought to myself “hmm… you know, sometimes stereotypes/clichés can be echoed in reality.” I found it quite interesting that the text chose to comment on the choice of words like this (obviously not knowing the truth of Domestique’s grasp of English), and it managed to make me go “well I suppose it could happen?” And just kind of, accept it as an occurrence that really could happen in real life, albeit not often, and certainly not as often as fiction likes to suggest.

It was like a sentence that contained a lampshade hanging, a touch of self-awareness in that this is a fictional story, and something that encouraged me to think how it would be for me to hear a non-native English speaker say this IRL all in one. If I did hear a foreigner say “how you say” (assuming that their English was extremely basic to the extent that they’d struggle to really say anything), I really would not give it too much thought, after all. I’m pretty sure I have heard “how to say” used before IRL in the same manner.

The text saying “it’s weird to hear this said outside of fiction” is a double-edged sword going, “…and this is another fictional instance to add to the list, reiterating this fact” but also “in the context of the writing and the universe, I encourage you to think that this is a “real” instance within the story”.

And then the lampshade hanging actually becomes foreshadowing in retrospect, and ACTUALLY reiterates the idea that it’s a stereotypical type of foreigner-talk not really seen in real life – a go-to for someone faking a lack of English. So much invoked and going on here just in this really brief sentence/moment…

This story, with its later reveal, goes, “actually, we’re not going to have a foreigner talk in an extremely stereotyped way, EVEN if this fact is drawn attention to!”

He remembered the imposter questioning him about his sexuality. At first, he had insisted that it didn’t matter- that it could be whatever the imposter wanted it to be, because he hadn’t ever acted on it.

Man, back when I made this post, I was not even up to this part yet! I didn’t realise the text itself would bring it up so directly. Of course, you have Blackquill earlier going “if Bobby is gay, the phantom must have also known that Bobby is gay”, but I didn’t realise at that time it had actually been a direct question type deal as my post had joked. (Because, for example, if Bobby was open about being gay it could have been overheard mentioned in conversation by the phantom, or if Bobby had previous relationships that the phantom knew about, things like that, since I didn’t have the Full Picture earlier on in the story and for all I knew at that time, Bobby had been openly gay.) So, this small moment actually makes my joke post totally redundant from the “the phantom has to ask Bobby his sexual preferences” angle. XD. But, in fact, this is actually a recurring theme that happened to me as I read these fics. As the series went onwards, I found more and more that it didn’t matter how I joked, the jokes were being rendered totally redundant by the actual source material. I couldn’t believe it – it was amazing and I loved it. I tried to JOKE but the jokes were becoming REAL and often intertwoven with the very core of the fic’s narrative. At a certain point, I just gave up and stopped joking, because I realised it seemed there was essentially nothing I could say or do that the series wasn’t prepared to take up with absolute seriousness and execute, often in a brilliant manner (or include as a joke of its own). I realised that I kinda just had to “shut up and keep reading”, as it were. You were always two steps ahead.

Even if you go back to the very first chapter, which for the most part is very gloomy and depressing, but you still have the phantom interrogating Bobby as to whether he’s “a cat or a dog person”. This exact hypothetical occurrence has been subject to joke posts. Naturally, because it’s such a minor and inconsequential detail, and it’s a lighthearted topic. Now, I know, that the phantom would still very much (feel the) need to know the answer to those sorts of things anyway. You would think they would rely on observation, eavesdropping, approaching Bobby through a different persona to get the answers, etc, and yes, in your fic he does in fact do all of those things in addition to interrogation and questioning. I didn’t find him throwing out the question to Bobby at the start of the fic particularly realistic, but then again, there’s likely hundreds of small inconsequential details he found out through alternative methods, and these were just leftover questions that he still wanted answers to. At the time I started the fic, I just accepted it despite my scepticism because of willing suspension of disbelief and the fact that it’s kinda funny(?). Like, you have this super serious scene detailing a truly awful situation that Bobby is in, but the phantom being like “are you a cat or a dog person???” has an inherent ability to invoke some kind of amusement. (Although mind you, I was too busy focusing on Bobby’s REALLY sucky situation to be truly amused at the time). Back then, I chose to overlook the “realism” aspect, not least because I liked the idea of him asking Bobby this, but now, I can fully accept it because your writing is just that good; meaning I know you’ve thought through things like that quite thoroughly already, and like I said, these were probably just leftover questions he hadn’t had time to use alternative means to get the answers to at that point, anyway.

Still, the new Fulbright had claimed that it ‘didn’t work that way’ and that he needed to know the details for certain.

Phantom: please I’m begging you don’t force me to make any decision on your behalf. I hate doing that, or at least I would if I could really feel hate. I have no real personality and therefore no real basis to pick and choose. I need a framework to work with here, dammit!

You know! In spite of my initial reactions to changed!Bobby, it’s really interesting and kind of thrilling to see him be ‘cruder’ and more open. I quite liked it. It pops up a few times and it’s always fun! Unlike my reactions to things like his smoking (which, of course, he later gives up), by the time I’ve settled down to the idea of a changed Bobby, seeing him say some things that original!Bobby would never say don’t give me any real discomfort that makes me yell “YOU’RE NOT BOBBY!”. Rather, having already eased somewhat into a changed Bobby, I can accept it and in fact believe it as a solid part of his new character. Not only that, but I like the new character that has emerged after having been Randy Liberate. Bobby Fulbright reasserting himself, but it’s unrealistic that he’d be exactly the same as he was before. The smoking or complete abandonment of ideals of justice are what I balk at because it’s not really the core of who Bobby is, and that’s why these things are ultimately done away with as Bobby leaves Randy Liberate behind. But a newly acquired openness, crudeness and wariness/cynicism of justice remain, and I don’t balk at those – I accept them as part of who the new Bobby is. I love the original Bobby to bits, but I also like what the new Bobby brings too.

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 12

However, the notion remained that if indeed there was a second accomplice, that person was still out there. Perhaps aiding the Phantom even now.

Perhaps… 🤔 I wonder, where on earth could they be? 😉 “PERHAPS aiding the Phantom even NOW”, oh you must have enjoyed writing that line.

The Phantom’s second accomplice was Domestique LaSoote. The man who’d aided in the Phantom’s release was sitting right there in his living room.

THE MOMENT this is brought to light, I was immediately like “OH. Yeah, so that means that’s not Bobby – it’s the phantom. No question. Game over. Get out Blackquill, now, for your own sake, please, but in an unsuspicious way.” Or, at the very least, you literally can’t verify for sure and you should always veer on the side of caution with these things. ALWAYS assume the worst. Or, a game of trying to discreetly determine if it’s the real Bobby without tipping the phantom off if its not Bobby. Aaaaaaah.

“Fulbright, I need to speak with you for a moment. In private, if you will.”

SIMON WATCH OUT, THAT’S NOT BOBBY FULBRIGHT IT’S THE PHANTOM. OH MY GOD HE HAS AIRPODS IN HE CAN’T HEAR ME. OH MY G

SIMON WHY-

All I know is that if it was me, my immediate thought would be “if he’s the phantom’s accomplice, that would leave the phantom easily able to come in and take Bobby’s place – therefore I can’t know if that’s the real Bobby or the phantom.” But Simon acted fast and had a lot on his mind and to take in. I’m sure if he had just a little bit more time to process what he realised, he would have clued on quickly too.

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 13

Okay, I actually did get very afraid that Taka was really dead. Would have been unbelievably awful. ;-;

Man the phantom was/is SO dislikable to me this chapter, or at least, for all of the most of it. Like, go to hell, phanty. XD

Me: you might be my favourite character but right now you’re being REALLY annoying, not even in any kind of funny/”redeeming” way just a plain aggravating way, and you need to go away

It comes back to what I said in the previous post about me mistakenly thinking “the author” didn’t care much for the phantom, and kinda wanted us to dislike him for the major jerk he is. Plus his seemingly “out of character” behaviour kinda rubbed me the wrong way, until it’s actually addressed towards the end of the chapter.

Which, in itself, harkens back to that fic I mentioned from somewhere on the PWKM in my previous commentary post. But this time around, although I was not fond of the phantom currently presenting himself in this fic, I was still determined to read it, because the fic itself was still super, super good.

“An experiment, really. I’m quite excited to see the outcome.”

“No, you aren’t.” “Hah, well, I’m interested in the results regardless.”

I LOVED THIS EXCHANGE SO MUCH THOUGH. A+ DIALOGUE RIGHT HERE

“I suppose that’s as close to a compliment as I’ll ever get.” The Phantom took a flourishing bow, gun still pointed directly at Athena as he did so.

OH MY GOD I THINK I KINDA MISSED THIS LINE THE FIRST TIME AROUND. HE ACTUALLY TAKES A BOW. I’m imagining it done Edgeworth-style… WE STAN A SARCASTIC, SMARMY LITTLE EMOTIONLESS JERK. Me: ok, ok phantom. I love you this chapter a LITTLE for this, at least. Or a lot. Heh. But your little ultimatum towards Blackquill is still sickening to the core!

The phantom’s little breakdown, the crying… none of this I fully appreciated the first time around. Past me was something else…

Now this scene with Simon exposing the fact that the phantom wanted his attention is interesting in that, reading it again, I was actually quite surprised to find that Blackquill indeed never outright states that it has anything at all to do with romantic attraction or whatever. But as far as their discussion just before the phantom gets that brain surgery states, it’s exactly what he’s thinking, and exactly what I assumed too… He just never says it out loud, in those exact words.

I’d assumed so strongly that it must have been directly stated here somewhere by Blackquill. And when that scene before the surgery pans out between them, I then figured: “huh, so the phantom must indeed have been confronted with that accusation but come to realise that the need for attention was deeper than that.” I figured that huh, he considered it seriously but came to the conclusion it was untrue. Except. Now that I know it was never specifically stated, that interpretation mightn’t have occurred to him. He maybe went straight to realising he had some very deep issues goin’ on unrelated to romantic inclinations or whatever.

Blackquill goes on to spend the next few months straight-up assuming that the phantom has/had the hots for him……… Only to have that notion shot down by the phantom himself.

The fact that he doesn’t say it outright, but is still thinking it though, is like….

Blackquill, in vague and indirect terms, from his perspective: I’ve got it. The reason you’re acting so strangely. You’re gay for me!

The phantom: [suffers breakdown]

His guesswork had paid off, though part of him was beginning to think this secret had been better left uncovered.

Blackquill: wait WHAT. are you for real right now. I was literally just pulling stuff out of thin air here. You’re actually attracted to me?! (Now there’s a scary and creepy thought…)

Blackquill, under the misconception that the phantom felt a really messed-up and twisted romantic interest & attraction to him: [shudders] TMI… SOME THINGS ARE DEFINITELY BETTER LEFT UNCOVERED

And………… This scene with the phantom being kinda shattered and breaking down…… does resonate more with me, with the knowledge that the motivation and need for attention and acknowledgement was not motivated on the romantic scale, but rather went deeper than that, as you say. Although, it is hard to say, since I hadn’t appreciated it nearly enough on the first readthrough. That is ALL I shall say for now on the matter. All in due time… :P

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 14

Breaking these flimsy binds was just like pulling off a band-aid. One had to be quick and decisive. He pulled them apart in one fluid motion and the chain, unable to bear with such sudden force, broke into several pathetic fragments. Athena flinched in shock, then went straight on to looking exasperated. “You know, I’m starting to think you’re one of the most terrifying people I’ve ever met.”

“You’re welcome.”

Sdkjsdjnsdln ok Simon that was awesome. “just like pulling off a band-aid” I’M YELLING...

A good five more minutes passed in which everyone worked frantically with their shovels. Their shoes and pants became stained with mud, but no one complained. Not even Edgeworth, whose outfit was likely the most expensive.

The image of a mud-stained Edgeworth though… omg.

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 15

Okay, I am so curious regarding the intricacies of what the dynamic between Domestique and the phantom was like. I’ll bring this up again from different angles in a later chapter commentary(s) but. Yeah!

“I’m just saying that maybe you shouldn’t be out carrying an unconscious body by yourself, Boss. It’s gonna look mighty suspicious.”

Like first off, he calls him “Boss” here, when it’s later established there’s not supposed to be any real hierarchy – rather, they’re supposed to be accomplices (?). Then again, the title might be being used sarcastically or insincerely here. Although, Domestique does actually take orders from the phantom… That is consistently shown to have been the status quo as well. Hmm.

And even if they’re “supposed” to be on equal footing, the phantom is in a position of power over Domestique because there’s so many things the phantom can leverage in order to force him to do what he wants. So there’s that too.

I also took this statement sincerely the first time around reading it back when I didn’t know Domestique very well – I thought it almost sounded like he was showing concern. But now I see it as much more flippantly spoken. It’s not the phantom he’s worried about, really. The fact is, Domestique has been unwillingly caught up in all this and he doesn’t want it all to blow up in their faces, cause he’ll have to deal with the fallout too when/if that happens. I guess that’s the main takeaway here.

“What part of sit down and behave is so hard for you to grasp? That ‘stupid bird’ is more obedient than you are.”

LOL PHANTOM WEREN’T YOU ONLY JUST SAYING THAT DOMESTIQUE “DOES AS HE’S TOLD” IN AN EARLIER CHAPTER. Amazing.

Oh, also, when we initially learned about the “Bobby has been buried” thing I got extremely worried because I figured it would be another huge thing to add to Bobby’s trauma, as my initial horrified thought was of him being buried in the ground, conscious, with nothing to do but to wait. And wait. Thinking he was going to just run out of oxygen and die. That was such an unbearable thought. I’m so glad he at least actually “slept” through most of the ordeal. Now the phantom did initially say “motionless” when the worst is assumed, but does not add this specification when the reality is unveiled to Blackquill, so hah, yeah, at least in that sense I’d thought things were worse than they actually were. Relieved my thoughts weren’t the case…

Chasing Phantoms, Chapter 16

…Wait. Wait. There are TWO ways to read one of the phantom’s parting sentences:

“Death is the only option I have left. Are you the one attempting to save me from a sentence that is justified now?”

I’d always read it the second way though.

“I would do so if there were any alternatives. There’s a lot of strings we’d have to pull on both Interpol’s end and the local police department’s end, but I see no other options. The only person qualified to impersonate the Phantom, ironically, is Bobby Fulbright.”

Reading this honestly blew my damn mind, I. Right now, I’m not even able to put into words how great and brilliant I found this upon reading it for the first time, to be honest. :D

#renegadewangs #phantoms and mirages #phantoms and mirages commentary #@ my followers please read this fic series #it's SO good #Bobby Fulbright #Simon Blackquill #the phantom

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femsff · 6 years

Note

4, 8, 11, 13, 23, 30, 34, 38 :)

Oooh, awesome! Thanks.

I’ve included already answered ones below.

A Writer’s Ask Game

agwitow:

Send me an ask with the number(s) you’d like me to answer!

The Basics1. Do you listen to music when you write?2. Are you a pantser or plotter?

Started out as a pantser but after a few fic, I decided to give plotting a try. Am now a fully committed plotter.

3. Computer or pen and paper?

Definitely computer. My fingers tend to cramp up even when I write a little bit and when I write a page or so in a notebook (I often carry a notebook with me when I go somewhere but don’t want to drag the laptop with me), about 3/4th of it illegible to anyone who isn’t me. In a way, that’s a good thing I suppose considering some of my smuttier fics, but overall it’s just a pain. And I always get disappointed when I get around to typing out the notes because it looks like a lot more when written out!

4. Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

No, I have never been published. Maybe one day I’ll try my hand at it, but right now I don’t feel like my writing is “good enough” yet. No idea for an original novel either.

5. How much writing do you get done on an average day?6. Single or multiple POV?7. Standalone or series?8. Oldest WIP

Oldest WIP I’ve written for or does plotting also count? If it’s just written, then it’s probably my abandoned Down the Rabbit Hole (FFnet | AO3). I just... got stuck. And it was so incredibly frustrating and really stopped me from enjoying anything fic-related that I finally just said to hell with it and dropped it. I just checked and I stopped working on it in 2013... I still have the outline and everything though, so who knows?

9. Current WIP10. Do you set yourself deadlines?

The Specifics11. Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

To be honest, I have no idea. I don’t know, maybe I’m rare but I’ve never been one of those people who held specific authors up as their ideal. I used to read a lot of books (nowadays less so, because 1) am adult and have to adult and 2) because I read fanfic and often would rather write my own fic than read a book) and have some favorites (all fiction) but nothing that really stands out.

12. Describe your perfect writing space13. Describe your writing process from idea to polished

Hahaha! Are you sure you want to know?

Okay, so I get an idea. Often when I’m half asleep/dozing, in the shower or just doing something mindlessly. The ideas are usually specific scenes that I can see play out in my head, but occasionally it’s just a conversation/some dialogue. If I like it, I’ll try to force more by really focusing on it. If the muse wishes it, that tends to work. I’m rarely super excited about an idea that I’ll start working on it right away, and prefer to let it roll around for a while. See if it keeps popping up and more details are added. If it’s worth my time and energy, I suppose.

Once that happens, I’ll start writing down notes. I use OneNote to organize my fic ideas/plotting and have one notebook that’s simply for ideas; one section per idea and depending on the idea, it’ll just be a stream of consciousness (often peppered with questions for myself) or a bit more organized in different pages. Again, depending on how excited I am about the idea, this can be done in a day or it can take weeks/months where I’ll occasionally add some info.

Then, when I feel like I want to work on it some more, I’ll start to delve into the details. When is it set? What’s the beginning, middle and end? Which events do I want include but have no idea where yet? Is there specific dialogue or are there actions I want to maybe include at one point? If it’s an AU, AR or AT, I’ll start working on the differences from canon (who is in it, what’s their role, how does it deviate from canon). How long do I think this fic will be? I need to set a max number of chapters for myself, otherwise the story will just keep growing and I’ll keep adding stuff and in the end it’ll read like I just came up with more and more stuff simply so I wouldn’t have to end the story, rather than telling the story I wanted to tell in the beginning.

Anyway, I start creating pages for the chapters and fill in the few things I already know. At this point I often also involve my beta and discuss the fic idea with her. Everything from that conversation goes into the ‘brainstorm’ section and I’ll work on the questions and suggestions that arose during the conversation. Then, I’ll start focusing on filling up the chapters with general outlines. That can be anything from “scene 1 Sam telling Jack (Sam pov); scene 2 introspection about changes (Jack pov)” to a paragraphed summary or even a scene completely written out. Sometimes it’s just “some shippy stuff here”, to let me know that at one point I need to lighten it up or bring them closer together. I go over all the chapter pages that way, but don’t necessarily fill them all out. I also make one page with a chapter overview, which is usually the numbered chapters with one or two lines about the content so I can see in one quick glance which things need working on.

More thinking on the fic idea, sometimes even when sleeping and brainstorming with the beta usually follows, which in turn results in adding more details. The chapter pages get more specifics or maybe a “don’t forget to mention [character]” or “now [# weeks] pregnant, mention that/include symptoms”. Also, depending on the story idea, I might need to do research. That can be canon/fanon stuff, but also scientific stuff, maybe a different language, create background information for original/rarely used canonical characters, timeline, locations, RL world events, and so on. That also gets included in the notebook and, at some point, added to the relevant chapter.

Once my outlining is done and I feel comfortable to start writing, I tend to just create a master document and start writing. Now, that’s not to say my whole outline is complete or that it’s something I must strictly adhere to. Additions and changes are made all the time, sometimes I’ll get stuck or realize a scene doesn’t work the way I envisioned it or the beta tells me something is missing. So, I go back to the notes and work on it. Then I go back to the fic and write, write, write.

Oh and I usually ask the beta to go over a chapter once I’ve finished writing it (or, if I’m stuck in a scene, I’ll ask her to look at it right away) and then I’ll go over the feedback, make changes, possibly discuss some of the things she mentioned, do some more editing and then I’ll go to the next chapter and write some more.

14. How do you deal with self-doubts?15. How do you deal with writer’s block?16. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?

Hmm. I’m not sure? I do know that when I’m stuck I tend to make a fruit salad or get snacks out in the hopes of it resulting in the required brainpower to keep going.

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?19. How do you keep yourself motivated?20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

The Favourites21. Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?22. Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?23. Favourite author

I don’t think I really have a favorite author... I don’t like non-fiction, I always read fiction and often thrillers. Some of the books I always order and often reread are ones by Jilliane Hoffman and Ingrid Black.

As for fic, see my favorites/bookmarks on my profile on FFnet/AO3.

24. Favourite genre to write and read25. Favourite part of writing

Ooh, difficult to choose. I really love doing the research and plotting, but I think the best part of writing is ending up with the story you imagined before you even ‘put pen to to paper’. Also, managing to convey the emotions through the writing - like when a reader comments with how they also teared up, they had to stop reading a few times to catch their breath/get a grip on their emotions or were just overwhelmed by it all. That’s pretty neat.

26. Favourite writing program27. Favourite line/scene28. Favourite side character29. Favourite villain30. Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

I have quite a few fic ideas I haven’t started writing yet. Not sure I can choose one. But one that I’ve had for a long time, like ~6 years, and even started writing on (but then discarded that because it wasn’t a good opening) is for Woman In Blue. It’s a first-person fic, a style I actually kinda hate and would probably back-button right away if I saw one of my favorite authors use in a new fic... anyway, it’s Mark Carter in first person, writing about Sam (and to a smaller extent, Jack) and all the things he learned about her life after her death - she and Jack died in a blaze of glory, defending Earth against a Replicator attack that also prompted Disclosure.

The Dark31. Least favourite part of writing32. Most difficult character to write33. Have you ever killed a main character?34. What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

There are so many scenes I’ve struggled with, most recently in Unmade Plans (chapter 8 specifically, that one really was a fight and I’ve rewritten it probably a dozen times) but the hardest was probably the Sam/Klorel scene in Only the Stubborn Survive. Those of you who’ve read the fic will know which scene I mean.

35. What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

The Fun36. Last sentence you wrote37. First sentence or your current WIP38. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

I’m not quite sure. A lot of them start out as weird ideas! The end result as you see them are soooo different. Maybe Consequences of Being Touched, because there were quite a few risque scenes in there?

39. Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had40. Share some backstory for one of your characters

The Rest of It41. Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?42. How do you feel about love triangles?43. What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

It depends on the situation and the outline. I’ve thrown outlines out of the window at times because something else turned out to work much better once you actually reach that point in your story, but I’ve also rewritten a scene a dozen times before I got it exactly the way I wanted it in the outline.

44. How much research do you do?45. How much world building do you do?46. Do you reread your own stories?47. Best way to procrastinate48. What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?49. Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?50. [Other question—ask me anything]

Well, those were fun but also tricky! Guess I shouldn’t have skimmed the list before rb’ing, haha. No just kidding, I loved answering them. Thanks!

#writer's ask game #writing #fanfiction #me #rl #thank you for playing #london88blog

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antiiva · 6 years

Text

tagged by @aizawashoutah, @shitabukenjirou, and @foxyena !! thank u guys so much~

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

hajime = haji, iwaizumi = iwa, haji + iwa = hajiiwa~ i love my mans but not many people understand my username

(the rest will go under the cut!)

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

huh, well

FMK technically has the most hits and kudos (something i am a little disgruntled about, seeing as it was not a fic i worked very hard on), only fools has the most comments, kaminari is a schemer has the most bookmarks, and of fountains and flowers has the most subscriptions so idk what to tell you. i wish ofaf had more recognition bcos i’ve worked hard on it rip

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

it’s kuroo!! and i just chose it bc i Love him and it was an icon i made that i sorta liked so

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

yes and i love them all!! seeing names that consistently pop up in my kudos/comments section really warms my heart <33 i’ve made good friends that way tbh

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

uhh there are many that i like to go back and read, mainly by my fav authors that i’m subscribed to

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

bookmarked: 53 subscribed: honestly, i... don’t really subscribe to works? i’m subscribed to 8 authors tho

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

oooh, probably... medieval aus or domestic magic aus? and slice of life

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

Subscriptions: 80 (rip, i didn’t know if u meant user subs or work subs so i combined and it’s still a tiny number) Bookmarked: 203

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

umm... i don’t think so?

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

finishing current projects before taking on new ones, avoiding burnout, the usual

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

well i’ll go based on haikyuu since those works take up the majority-- iwaoi is set firmly in first place based on number of works followed by bokuroo, both of which are fairly popular so i’d say that i lean more toward the bigger ships but i also have works for kurooiwa, iwaaka, tengoshi, etc

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

22! that number fluctuates a ton because i’m very impulsive and if a fic doesn’t receive the recognition i feel it deserves/i no longer like it/etc i take it down

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

that i have yet to publish? too many.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i normally keep them in my head, unless i think they’ll turn into something bigger and then i’ll jot them down!

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

not yeeet~ @frenchibi have plans to tho. i have tried to co-author in the past but it mever worked out

16. How did you discover AO3?

when i graduated from using wattpad,, fun fact, there is so much smut on there that i legitimately thought ao3 was just used to write porn. i was both horrified and confused

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

lol

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

no...? this question assumes that i would be Popular (honestly do fanfic writers even have “fandom names” for their readers?? im)

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

not really, no. i stated writing fanfics when i was really young on my own, unprompted, and i’ve met other authors through that medium that have helped me?

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

interact with other writers! i know it seems daunting, but leave comments, go to spaces where you will find other writers, participate in events-- there are few feelings more satisfying than seeing familiar names pop up, either in your notifications or in a group you’re in. most of the time, they’re all very kind and you won’t regret letting them into your life!

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

i plot out almost always, though this sort of bites me in the ass. it bores me when i’m writing to already “know” what’s going to happen and that’s why i lose steam. it’s weird

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

sort of. i write a lot of angst and i’ve gotten quite a few “fuck you author” comments-- most of the time they’re paired with “for making me feel these feelings” or “for writing something so sad” or some shit but i don’t appreciate that bc, like, fuck you too? i’m sorry that you felt the need to cuss me out?? i tag pretty liberally and if you felt that you couldn’t handle the topic i was writing about then you shouldn’t have clicked

unless it’s, like-- a friend or regular going “fffuCK YOU AHHH” which HAS happened and makes me snicker lmao

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

huh. i’m trying to become more proficient in the Big Three (smut, angst, and fluff) and thus far i’ve got one of three down p good. but specific scenes i have trouble writing would have to be scenes in which i have zero experience and pretty much have to improvise-- it helps me grow as a writer, ig, but it’s just frustrating

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

the rest of the writers’ inktober prompts

a fic wars piece with @frenchibi

a post breakup iwaoi

of fountains and flowers final chapter

a handful of voltron fics, 4 of them sheith

alien!iwaizumi

maaaany half-abandoned drafts

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

YES AND IT IS TERRIBLE SOMEONE STOP ME

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

nah. motivation is fickle and i don’t want to make writing a chore. writer’s inktober was hard enough (it’s december and i am still not done :,)

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

considering i started on wattpad, yes lmao. i’d like to think that i have since i’ve been on ao3 but hahjajhjkh

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

i reeeeally liked writing a bit of magic is key and three’s a crowd because they were both humorous domestic magic aus~ but i’ve liked most things i’ve written tbh. also, obviously, of fountains and flowers.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

that i’ve posted? i honestly don’t know. maybe you can be so stupid sometimes because i was just starting to write iwaoi and i now hate the way i portrayed them, not to mention that this dumb little fic has more kudos than my recent stuff and i just *clenches fist* don’t think it deserves that

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

not sure. maybe i’ll have ofaf finished by then hahah,, but really i don’t know. writing is a tool but fanfic writing is just a hobby

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

i’m pretty good at writing emotionally charged situations. also dialogue, i find banter or long back-and-forth conversations fairly easy

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

transitions, justification of characters’ actions. the hardest thing writing-related would be fighting through envy and feelings of inadequacy but i experience the former plenty anyway rip

33. Why do you write?

i write because i enjoy it-- i love creating my own worlds, interacting with other writers, living vicariously through my characters

well, that was fun! i’ll tag @frenchibi, @astersandstuffs, @minyardxva, @josai

#i would tag more but i am Lazy #and i have a billion tags to catch up on #tagged #thank u three btw!

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ricekrispyjoints · 6 years

Text

author about me

Tagged by @frenchibi !!!

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

no it’s not about weed my dad used to call me ricekrispies because of how easily i can crack a lot of my joints. he said i “snap crackle and pop”. so that’s me !

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

my absolute fave iwaoi piece that i’ve written, Learning to Walk (So that We Can Run) i’m so proud of it and so glad that it’s gotten so much love

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

it’s a manga cap of oikawa going “so fun~” bc i love my son xD

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

i’ve had a few people who will like, go through and read all my stuff in one go? and tbh i don’t get a lot of comments so really my favorite is everyone who decides to actually comment xD

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

There’s like. so many. i have literally over a hundred haikyuu fics bookmarked alone.

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

according to ao3 i have 12 pages of subscriptions xD some of those have been abandoned i fear but i refuse to unsubscribe in case they return from the dead! bookmarks i have..... idk probably about 200 across all fandoms? the majority of that is haikyuu, but my yoi collection is growing.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

i’m not really sure... lately i’ve been working on a lot of trans hc’s, but of my published stuff idk if there’s really a pattern

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

116 user subs, 1936 bookmarks

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

at this point i’ve already crossed into writing smut, which was like fear #1 xD

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

I just want to get more stuff written and published! i have so many more ideas than what i’ve actually put out there because I tend to bite off more than i can chew with some AUs...

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

i feel like i write majority iwaoi but of my published stuff it’s only 5/14 haikyuu fics?? xD my drafts folder, on the other hand.... i have a couple “rarepair” ships that i’ve written for (kurodai, hanamatsu) but i think the majority is popular ships

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

19 (but i orphaned a bunch of old johnlock fics lolll): 14 haikyuu, 3 snk, 2 yoi

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

uhhh 122 for fanfic, 84 original

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

usually write them down, but sometimes i like to leave them in my head while i kind of play with different ideas, before it becomes a solid story

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

not yet, but @frenchibi and i are gonna do something together !!

16. How did you discover AO3?

probably through tumblr? bc i was living my life on ff.net until suddently ao3 was like. everywhere xD

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

lmao no not at all xD

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

pfft no

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

i don’t really remember? i’ve been writing (non-fandom) since i was a kid, but i don’t know what got me started. childhood is kinda hazy for me D: now, my friends have been a huge inspiration to keep me going, helped beta things for me, bounce ideas around... that kind of thing :)

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

start small. i mean yes, there are people who are successful at like “this is my first fic ever! it’s an 80k wip!!” but i highly recommend starting with shorter stuff. get a feel for world building, character development (esp if it’s original writing!), and oh my gosh endings ?? the worst.

also just write what you love. if you want to hc everyone in the entire show as a bunch of trans gay people, then do it. who cares if that’s “unrealistic”. who cares! if it makes you happy, do it.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

depends. for short one shots, it’s usually like “oh what if this happened!” and then i just write it all out. for longer things or multi-chapters, i like to outline where i’m going, major plot points, etc. for my longest fic to date (152k) i had a separate like 20k document of backstory, character info, etc.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

happily, no. i’ve had a couple of comments with like, suggestions or polite criticism, but never of the work in general and always really kind and well-meaning.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

smut continues to be a challenge, tho i like to think i’m getting better at it? and angst. i love to read it, but i don’t think i’m so good at writing it.

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

currently editing my nanowrimo project, rising, which i have now posted chapter 1 of!

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

i have so many pans in the fire it’s crazy but i do prioritize one particular story at a time

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

honestly no. during nanowrimo i did, but i’m in grad school and unfortunately personal writing has taken a back seat to that

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

oh my gosh yes yes yes. a million times. i started when i was like. a child. i have read some of my old stuff and Y I K E S. cringey.

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

definitely my knee surgery recovery fic, but followed closely by an original piece i wrote about my mental illness.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

um anything i wrote for the bbc sherlock fandom i orphaned many moons ago. xD

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

i want to get back into a little of my original stuff again, but hopefully continue writing fanfic.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

sometimes when you just get into the flow of it and it feels like no time has passed but you’ve written like 4k in one go xD

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

endings. i don’t know how to finish a story. two of my nanowrimo projects (original fiction) just. are sitting on my comp. unfinished. it hurts :(

33. Why do you write?

because i think language is amazing and i like bending it to what i want to express

thank you so much for tagging me, this was fun and a great way to procrastinate my homework

i don’t really know a lot of authors?? so if you are an author and want to do this, i am officially tagging you :D

#my writing #tag games #about me

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queen-of-deans-booty · 7 years

Text

Pilot- Part 2

Pairing: Eventual Dean x Reader

Word Count: 3,655

Warnings: Typical Supernatural violence, angst (a lot), language, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Please, if you want to be tagged for this series, let me know and I’ll add you! If you want to be tagged for my other fics, I’ll add you! I want to hear what you guys think about this.

Part One

It’s been one hell of a ride getting to Jericho but you finally made it. You were getting sore from sitting in the backseat. But now that Sam was back, you had to resort to the back seat. It wasn’t that she wasn’t comfortable but being up there, with Dean was the best.

You were at a gas station and while Dean was getting whatever he wanted from inside, you were waiting outside with Sam.

“I’m glad you decided to come with us.” You popped your head from the backseat, leaning it on the front one.

“I missed you.” Sam smiled a bit.

“I missed you too, Sammy. Remember when Dean was always out with your dad and it was just me and you? We would watch movies all the time and tell each other secrets. I miss those days.” You sighed, remembering on what was.

“Yeah, well, the past is the past and I’m changed. I don’t want to be a hunter anymore, Y/N. It may work for you and Dean but not for me. I found love and I don’t plan on letting it go.” You stared at him and were about to say something when Dean appeared.

“You guys want breakfast?” You and Sam both looked back to see Dean carrying junk food.

“No, I’m good.” You and Sam said at the exact same time.

“Are you still using credit card scams to buy your way through America?” Sam joked as he looked through the box of cassette tapes Dean had.

“Come on, Sam, you know the Hunter life doesn’t exactly bring in money. You’re lucky you got out of the life. There are times where I’ve found myself wishing I had.” You sighed softly.

“So, why don’t you? I know you’ve always said that you wanted to be a writer.” Sam turned to look at you as he closed the passenger’s side door.

“It’s hard to leave when you know what’s out there. When there are people getting killed and you know why it’s happening. If I see people getting hurt and I know there is something I could do to stop it, I go for it. That’s why I haven’t left.” You saw Dean finishing up with the pump and made his way back to the driver’s seat.

“Right, well that’s good for you that you like this gig,” Sam grabbed a box from Dean’s glove department and looked through the many cassette tapes. “Dude, you have got to update your collection.”

“Why?” Dean didn’t see a problem with what he owned.

“One, they are cassette tapes and two, you have got stuff in here that are the greatest hits of mullet rock.”

“Hey,” you said, reaching over and grabbing a tape that looked appealing. “You know the rules; tell me you haven’t forgotten them already.” You giggled and handed the tape to Dean who popped it into his car.

“Yeah, Sammy, driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole.” You giggled and leaned back in the seat as Dean started the car. Immediately, AC/DC began to play.

“You know, Sammy is a chubby twelve-year-old. It’s just Sam.” You didn’t know why Sam hated the name Sammy. You loved it.

“Sorry Sammy, the music is too loud.” Dean pointed to his ear and shook his head, showing Sam he couldn’t hear as he turned up the music. You loved and missed this when it was just you three on a hunt when John was too busy to join you. You wished for this to never end but unfortunately, your dreams were short lived. Soon after, you were passing a sign that stated ‘JERICHO 7’.

“We know dad’s not dead.” Sam said after he made a few phone calls to God knows who.

“I’m telling you boys; I don’t think he’s dead. If a demon killed him and this demon knew you two were alive, they’d let you know about it,” You shook your head and looked out of the car’s window and frowned. You were passing by a bridge but police were frantically looking around, trying to figure something out. They were looking at an abandoned car which was similar to the case you were working on.

“Hey, check it out. Probably another death.” You didn’t like that someone died but you were excited you could finally use the fake ID badges you made for you and Dean. You were very handy with a computer and you were the one who always made the badges.

“Come on, Dean, bring out the IDs.” You grinned as Dean parked on the other side of the road.

“You know it, sweetheart.” He grinned and looked over at Sam before opening the glove compartment. He rifled through official looking badges before handing you one and grabbing one himself. Sam stared at him the entire time and you scoffed.

“You think they would just tell civilians about this? No, if we want information, we got to look the part.” You got out of the car and grinned.

“Dude, you can get in a lot of trouble for this!” Sam said quietly but got out of the car. He followed you and his brother to where the police officers were. You heard them talking but didn’t make out what it was.

“Didn’t this kind of thing happen last month?” Dean suddenly said when he was close enough. The officers who were near you looked up and frowned.

“And you are?” The officer in lead, Officer Swick, asked, eyeing you suspiciously. You lifted the badge that Dean gave you and quickly put it away before they could find anything wrong with it.

“Federal Marshals.” You smiled sweetly and walked around the car to see if there was anything you could spot that the officers would pass over.

“Really? A little young, in my opinion.” Swick said.

“Am I correct? You had the same thing happen last month?” Dean said, choosing to ignore the sheriff’s statement.

“Yeah, we did and others before that. They all happened on this road. Most recently, a young man named Troy was killed on the bridge. We’re trying to find out what’s been going on.” You looked next to you and watched another officer, Officer Baddle, talk.

“You knew the guy?” Sam spoke up. You knew he was uncomfortable with this and was surprised he was talking.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” Swick shrugged. You nodded and looked inside the car to see if anything looked suspicious. You couldn’t take your EMF out right now with Baddle looking at you like you were a piece of meat.

“Do you mind?” You looked at Baddle and he blushed, walking away from you. You rolled your eyes and took out the EMF secretly and fired it up, watching as it went nuts. You knew something ghostly was happening here. While you were looking at the car, Sam and Dean were sweet talking the officers.

“Alright, thank you for your time.” You looked up when you heard your name being called. You nodded, putting away the EMF and walking next to the Winchesters. When you three were out of range, Dean smacked Sam across the head.

“Ow!! What was that for?” Sam rubbed the spot that was sore. You smirked and saw Dean give his brother a look but you stopped short when you saw two FBI agents and another officer looking at you.

“Boys, stop it.” You whispered, nudging them so that they would look. You and Dean were new to this whole ‘dressing up like other officials’ and you didn’t want to screw it up. The brothers stopped bickering and you three walking in silence back to the car. You looked behind you to see the FBI agents gone but the officer staring you down. You didn’t like that at all.

You got inside of the car and before you could overthink the Officer, Dean started the black beauty and sped down the road.

“That was close, why do you guys argue all the time?” You looked at them.

“You wouldn’t understand because you don’t have any siblings.” Sam said.

“Wow, thanks Sam, it’s not like I counted you as a brother or anything.” You shook your head and looked out the window. It took you a while but you got into town. Dean pulled into a parking lot that belonged to a diner.

“So who are we looking for?” Sam asked.

“A woman named Amy. Troy’s girlfriend.” You said. You read all about Troy and who he was associated with. It always helped to know who was who and what you were getting into before you did anything else. You got out and immediately saw a woman, hopefully Amy, putting up posters around with the guy that went missing.

“Hey, I’ll talk to her.” You looked at the boys, passing Sam’s window as you walked to the woman.

“Wait,” Sam grabbed your arm to keep you from going. “I’m sorry about what I said. You do have brothers; us.” You smiled softly and nodded, walking to the woman.

“Are you Amy?” You asked softly.

“Yeah, why?” She turned to look at you. It looked like she hadn’t slept in a couple of days and you felt so bad for her. This reminded you of the time when your mom died but you’d rather not live that again.

“Hi my name is Y/N and those are my brothers, Sam and Dean,” You pointed to the men in the beautiful car. “We were friends with Troy in high school and I heard he went missing.”

“Really? I met him in Sophomore year and I’ve never seen you or them around him.” Amy bit her lip.

“Yeah, our dad was on business and we had to go with him. We left right after Freshman year. But Troy was a dear friend. May we ask you a couple of questions?” You looked a little hopeful, hoping she would say yes.

“Sure, let me get my friend and we will meet you inside the diner.” She walked off and you walked to Sam and Dean.

“We are all set. She says that she will meet us inside the diner.” You grinned when both boys exited the car.

“I don’t know how you do it but you have a way with words.” Dean commented.

“That’s because I think with my head and not my dick.” You joked with him. Dean was a great actor and can lie really easily but sometimes, he can come off as a bitch. You walked inside the diner and saw that Amy and her friend were already sitting at a booth.

“Keep it in your pants, Winchester.” You whispered to him and grinned.

“Hey, I have self-control.” Dean rolled his eyes and made his way to the booth. You three took your seats and you smiled at Amy.

“This is Sam and Dean,” You pointed to them respectively. “Why don’t you tell us what happened?”

“Troy was driving and I was on the phone with him. Because he didn’t want anything to happen to him, he told me he would call me back… but he never did.” Amy sighed. Her friend put a hand to her shoulder comforting.

“Nothing else you can remember?” The girls shook their heads and you sighed, looking over at Dean for help.

“Okay, here’s what’s up. The way Troy disappeared, something’s not right. So, if you heard anything, now’s the time to speak.” Dean lifted his hands in a suggestive way. Amy looked at her friend with a worried look and you frowned.

“Amy, if you’ve heard anything, please tell us. We want to find him just like you do. It’s only fair.” You tried to reason.

“Well, because there are so many disappearances, people talk.”

“What do they talk about?” Both Sam and Dean say. You looked at them weirdly but shook it off. Brothers, man. They can do almost anything on cue. When you were growing up with them, Sam was always the one to copy Dean because Dean was his role model.

“It’s more of a legend than anything else. It’s about this girl who was supposedly murdered on Centennial way before our time. We think she’s still out there and that she hitchhikes. Whoever picks her up, they disappear forever.” Amy’s friend said.

“You think Troy picked her up?” You spoke their thoughts.

“We hope not.” Amy said sadly. You nodded and got up from the booth.

“Thank you both for your time. We will do everything we can to help look for Troy.” You looked at the boys and nodded, walking out of the diner with them fresh on your tail.

“I’ve been to this town before so I know where to look up this kind of information.” The library was only a short walk so you led them to the tall building. You found that rarely anyone is in a library which made you frown.

“I can’t believe no one spends their time in a library anymore. This place is awesome!” You were always fascinated with books. In fact, the way you coped with your mom’s death was reading. It always took you to another world and for a short amount of time, you were escaped only to come back to the harsh reality. You always read to Sam when you could and he seemed to like it. Dean, on the other hand did not.

“Right? It’s preposterous.” Sam chuckled.

“Nerds.” Dean half joked. He found a computer and sat down in front of it, you on his right and Sam on his left. You watched as Dean searched up a few titles but nothing was coming up.

“Let me try,” Sam reached for the mouse but Dean was quick to slap it away.

“I got it.” Sam huffed and pushed Dean’s chair out of the way, you moving just in time to miss him.

“You boys…” You shook your head and giggled, watching as the two brothers fought.

“You are such a control freak.” Dean scooted closer to his brother and shot you a quick glance.

“So, angry spirits are born from violent deaths, right?” Sam asked.

“Maybe it’s not murder then.” You pointed it out to Sam. He grinned but didn’t say anything as he typed what you thought into the search bar. One article came up and you knew that this was the one to be looking at. You scanned the article quickly, frowning at what you read.

“So Constance kills herself because she finds her two children in the bathtub after she leaves them alone? Man, I couldn’t imagine losing my children, if I had any.” You quickly added when you saw the looks the boys gave you.

“Yeah,” Dean sighed and looked at the pictures that were provided. “Wait, does that bridge look familiar to you?” You, Dean, and Sam gave knowing looks to each other. Looks like it’s back to the bridge.

“So this is where Constance took the swan dive.” Dean chuckled as he walked along the bridge, looking at the water below.

“You think Dad’s been here?” Sam asked.

“Probably, I mean, he’s looked at this case and we’re looking out for him.” You shrugged, looking over the bridge.

“So now what?” Sam sighed, watching his brother walk off.

“Now we keep digging until we find something. This might take a while.” Dean added.

“Okay, look, I know I should have mentioned this before but I have to be back by Monday morning. I have an interview.” You looked at Sam. Why was he mentioning this now and not before?

“And you didn’t think to mention this to me before?” Dean turned around to look at his brother.

“Dean, I’m sorry but this is a really big deal. This makes or breaks my future.” Sam sighed.

“So after this, after we find dad, you want to leave? Marry Jess? Does she even know what you’ve been up to your whole life?” Dean crossed his arms.

“No she doesn’t and she never will.” Sam walked closer to his brother. You sighed, running a hand down your face. You hate when these boys fought. It was usually over something petty and it always got messy.

“Oh yeah, healthy. You can pretend all you want but you can’t hide from the truth forever.” Dean started walking away again.

“Oh yeah, and what’s that?” Sam followed. You didn’t want to listen to this but you had no choice. When they were in a fight, some of the time, it resulted in your having a panic attack. You got them after your mom died and it only happened when there was fighting going on or someone throwing things if they were mad. It didn’t happen often, but sometimes it does. You just hoped this wasn’t one of those times.

“You were meant to be a hunter.” Dean simply stated.

“No!” Sam ran in front of his brother, stopping him. “I won’t ever be like you. This will not be my life.”

“You have a responsibility to,” Dean was cut off by his brother.

“To who, Dean? Dad? Mom? If it wasn’t for pictures, I wouldn’t know what she looked like. Mom is gone and killing this thing that killed her won’t bring her back.” You gasped softly at what Sam said. You knew Dean would be pissed. His mother was a very sensitive topic to him and he hated talking about her. Dean pushed Sam up against the bridge and glared at him.

“Don’t ever speak about her like that.” Dean said after a moment of two of silence.

“Hey! Stop it!” You marched over to them and pulled them apart but they wouldn’t stop looking at each other. “You are brothers for God sake and I won’t let you ruin what you two have. Fine, Sam, if you want to be back by Monday, then we will get you back and Dean and I can handle this by ourselves. But you two are here now so don’t waste whatever time you have left together bickering because I won’t allow it.” You looked between both brothers but something in white caught your eye.

“Shit…” You muttered.

“What is it?” Dean looked at you. You reached up and placed your hands on Dean and Sam’s jaws, turning them so they would look at what you were looking at.

“That’s her.” Sam said. With one look, Constance jumped off the bridge. Your eyes widened and you and the boys race to the other side, looking at the water but nothing or no one was there.

“Where did she go?” You asked. You didn’t have time to think because the sound of Dean’s car roaring to life and the headlights shone in your face.

“Who’s driving your car?” Sam asked. Dean didn’t answer but he pulled out his keys, dangling them, never looking away from his car.

“Oh shit,” You said as the car started to race at the three of you. “Run!!!” You yelled at the boys. You three turned around, trying to out run the car but it was no use. If no one moved, you three would be dead in seconds. You effectively moved out of the way but the car didn’t seem to care about you. It only wanted men. You watched in horror as Sam and Dean jumped off the railing and into the water below.

“No!!!!” You yelled out, noticing the car stopped. You ran to the edge and peered down, not seeing either man. “Sam! Dean!” You cried out. You couldn’t lose them too. You heard a grunt come from below and you saw Sam was hanging onto something on the bridge that kept him from falling.

“Dean!!” You looked down and saw a figure move in the mud and you knew that was Dean. Before Sam had the chance to say anything, you ran to the entrance of the bridge and down the muddy hill, not caring if you got dirty. You needed to know if Dean was okay.

“Are you okay?” You heard Sam call from above.

“I’m super,” He said a little strained. You rushed to him and fell on your knees, immediately checking to see if he had any injuries. “Sweetheart, I’m fine.” He coughed a bit, sitting up. You let out a breath of relief and wiped some of the mud away from his face.

“Thank God,” You smiled and he stared at you with something in his eyes that you couldn’t place. “Let’s get you up.” You helped him up and helped him back up the hill to where Sam was, right next to the car. Dean frowned and looked over his car to make sure Constance didn’t ruin it.

“Is your car fine?” Sam asked when Dean was done.

“Yeah it looks fine now. Constance was a BITCH!” He yelled into the night. You let out a breathy laugh and held onto Dean’s hand, leaning into him. He didn’t seem to mind at all and looked down at you with a smile. If Sam noticed this exchange, he didn’t say a word about it.

“So where do we go from here?” Sam asked, leaning against the car. With his free hand, Dean raised it up like he didn’t know, letting it slam on his thigh. “You smell like a toilet.” You giggled, agreeing with Sam. The smell didn’t bother you because you were here with Dean and that was all that mattered.

“Let’s go to a motel, we need showers.” You let go of Dean and opened the back seat, sliding in. You saw the hesitation from Dean and you rolled your eyes. “We will give her a clean. Okay? Stop being a big baby and get in.” Dean huffed at your choice of words and got in anyways, rolling down all the windows before speeding away from the bridge and to the nearest motel.

Part Three

Masterlist // Series Rewrite Masterlist

Series Rewrite tags:

@helllonearth

Forever tags:

@new-dawn-fad3s @maddieburcham1

Dean tags:

@akshi8278

Other tags:

@jensen-jarpad @jpadjackles @notnaturalanahi @mysteriouslyme81 @deathtonormalcy56 @27bmm

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esselley · 7 years

Note

Have you ever received a hate comment? If yes, and you don't mind me asking, what was it about? I wonder how other writers cope with negative comments.

I’ve never received a hateful comment on my work directly – knowing how the internet is, I count myself pretty fortunate in that regard (knock on wood).

The most negative experience I’ve had was during my time spent writing for a budding, tiny fandom, during which I started out writing one pairing, but then wrote some stories for a couple other pairings (kinda rarepairs) later on.

After I wrote a couple of those fics, a friend found one of those confessional blogs… Fandom Secrets or whatever, and the tag for our fandom had just been spammed with “confessions” about my writing. It was like a guilt/intimidation train, with me in the headlights. How I’d abandoned the fandom, how my new fics weren’t any good, how I should get back to writing the original pairing because no one cared about the new stuff… so I wrote my pièce de résistance for that main pairing, posted pics of each “confession” on my blog and roasted them for not having the guts to say their shit to my face, and then left the fandom entirely. Shady, manipulative assholes make me lose my chill real fast.

That being said, hate comments can go right in the garbage for myself and anyone else who receives them, because in a majority of cases, nothing usually warrants the hate – there are just worthless people out there who want to make other people feel worthless, too, and it’s a fucking waste of everyone’s time.

Popular or unknown, writer or artist, small or big fandom, having people deposit hateful words on something you created for nothing but your own happiness, because you love it, is flat out shit. You are the person making something of your own creation. They are the person who got mad enough over some OOC-ness (or whatever) to type “this sux go die” on someone’s efforts to create and improve. Again: FUCK THAT NOISE! Those people are losers and probably smell like sweaty socks 24/7. Put them out of your sparkly, inventive mind.

I also want to distinguish between the different types of “non-positive” comment, because there’s a big difference between hateful and negative. I thought about this, and think maybe I would separate it into 4 categories:

Con-Crit (commentary meant to educate and encourage improvement)

Criticism (commentary discussing positives and negatives in a work)

Negative (commentary that focuses mainly on flaws/things the reader disliked; usually more personal than analytical)

Hate (unconstructive bashing)

Con-crit is usually the most acceptable option, with hate being the least (like, just don’t! do it!) but I want to say off the bat that unless a fanfic writer has asked for con-crit/criticism, or discussion about what readers didn’t like – IMO, none of the negative types above are necessary to leave on a work. This doesn’t apply to published work, because those are authors with publicists, editors, and most of all, experience in putting their work out under the public eye. They also get paid to do so.

Fic writers and fan artists have no one checking their work but themselves, and are uncompensated save for (sometimes) getting positive feedback. A lot of us have no experience in publishing or exhibiting professionally. So unless someone is looking for critique, it is okay to just… skip telling someone that you thought they could be better. Chances are, they’re already worried about it. They most likely know that – and they’re trying to get better already. People aren’t submitting their work to Tumblr or AO3 or DeviantArt to be critiqued, they’re just posting to contribute to a fandom, to make friends, because they see other people doing so. Because it’s community, and it’s fun.

If you really feel like you want to let a writer or artist know about something, don’t just drop the comment and leave – ask if they would mind talking about their work and some points of improvement, so they aren’t blindsided. Message them somewhere private, instead of posting about their shortcomings in a public comment/reply. Especially for newer/less well known writers or artists. It takes some people a lot of courage to post something publicly. The need to create and share can help overcome those anxieties somewhat. But seeing a notification or comment pop up when you don’t receive a whole lot of feedback, only to find out it’s someone telling you “Hey, here are some things I think you need to work on,” can be really discouraging.

And some of the fics people like to point and laugh at, or leave mean comments on because of things that do not hurt or inconvenience the reader in any way (other then maybe having to hit the back button) are the exact kind of fics I proudly posted on FF.net when I was 10 or 11. If someone had slammed me with a bunch of hate back then, maybe it would have tanked my confidence enough to cause me to stop writing – for a short period of time, or to this day.

Who the hell knows? Who knows what other nameless fic writers out there could have improved, but didn’t, because of some stupid anon telling them their very first fic sucked?

So if someone is enough of a fuckface to try that shit with you, my friends, you’ve got two roads: delete the comment, or slice and dice their sorry ass into next week – I support you in both efforts (just know that the first option is usually better, unless you like to FIGHT, in which case, go for the second). But just know that, while there is no real way to avoid those kinds of comments getting under your skin, you are better than the one who left it.

You don’t owe them the dignity of a response, but you do keep writing, because while they are using their keyboard to shout into the void, you are using yours to further your creativity and art, and that will not be lost.

#writing advice #i think #writing advice: community #rambling discussion about polite commenting/critiquing under the cut #literaryalexis #esselle replies #negativity

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narkik · 7 years

Text

title: operate

summary: stitches & souls & girls bleeding in love. meeting in urgent care will make for a good story somewhere down the line. [namikai]

warnings: brief, vague mentions of violence &/or injuries

a/n: surprise @lanternjawedstudmuffin -- i’m your @khsecretsanta this year! messaging you guys has been super cool this past month, and i’m very honored to be able to write for two authors who are clearly loved by the kh fandom. you both seem like awesome, talented people (side note: i read “introspective” & “break the chain” and really enjoyed both fics!). i hope this is to your liking, and merry christmas to you both! ❤

she’s pretty in split lips and silence, blonder than roxas and certainly more beautiful. kairi thinks she’ll never find someone so ethereal ever again, not even if she combed through the entire earth.

“i’m naminé,” says the injured girl, with nothing but softness in her smile. axel brought her into urgent care because her boyfriend bit her mouth away – marluxia’s love is sharp, naminé explains, before kairi applies disinfectant where his teeth broke her skin. marluxia’s twenty-seven, older more knowledgeable than she, so he kisses harder, that’s all. when kairi asks how old she is, naminé replies, “nineteen,” and kairi kind of wants to call the police.

“i hate that boyfriend of hers,” axel drawls in private, when naminé leaves for the restroom. “marluxia’s a real piece of work, y’know? acts all nice around everyone else, and yet naminé knocks on my door at eleven-forty-fucking-five at night, saying she doesn’t want to make a scene. so i told her i knew someone at the twenty-four hour urgent care downtown. but roxas was just about ready to kick his ass.” axel talks offhandedly, arms folded and green eyes distant, but kairi can hear his concern beneath the annoyance. they'd met through roxas a long time ago, and have been friends ever since; kairi can tell that the blonde girl with the bloody lips means more to axel than just a next-door neighbor.

once naminé’s done, axel volunteers to take her home, and goes to bring his car around. kairi has seven minutes left on her shift, but in that moment she is willing to abandon her post and drive this girl safely back to her campus dorm. after all, kairi’s technically only an intern, not yet a full-time nurse, and still a student at that. what did she have to lose? besides, it wasn’t like this was the emergency room.

“hey!” swiftly, kairi takes the lead, stopping axel mid-walk on the way down the hall. “i’ll do it.” when he waves a dismissive hand and tells her it’s fine, kairi tacks on “i’m a girl,” then watches his expression flood with understanding. not-so-discreetly, he glances behind them, where naminé is speaking to the front desk about medical coverage and co-pay. her gaze is cast downward, puffy lips pulled into a frown, even as she signs the last of the paperwork.

“you do it,” axel agrees, dropping his car keys back in his pocket. kairi grins, triumphant, before bidding naminé in her direction and informing the girl that there’d been a change in plans.

as expected, naminé’s quiet the entire drive home. kairi imagines that it hurts to talk with a cut running down the middle of one’s mouth.

“your boyfriend won’t be coming back around tonight, will he?” she tries to keep her tone casual, light, but there’s a hint of a warning between her words. “you’ll be safe, right?”

thankfully, naminé nods. “xion -- my rommate -- should be home in an hour. she doesn’t like marluxia.” a sigh. “she’ll like him even less now.” kairi doesn’t comment aloud, but she thinks that she likes xion already.

“i go here, too.” kairi changes the subject while driving into the campus residency’s parking lot. “but i commute. my apartment is about a half-hour away.”

naminé blinks, then offers a tiny smile. “really?”

“yeah. i’m getting my bachelor’s in nursing. you?”

“art major.” she doesn’t elaborate. kairi doesn’t push it.

a second or two later, naminé taps on the window and points to a nearby building. “right here is fine. you can just drop me off at the curb.” obediently, kairi pulls up, parking against the scarlet-spray painted sidewalk where she technically isn’t supposed to stop. naminé climbs out of the passenger seat, turning to poke her face back inside as soon as she's standing.

“thank you so much for the ride back. i really appreciate it.”

“you don’t want me to walk you up to your apartment?” disappointment tarnishes kairi’s voice. “it wouldn’t be any trouble.”

naminé shakes her blonde head. “it’s okay, don’t worry. i’d rather not make a big deal out of it. you get what i mean, right?”

actually, kairi doesn’t get what she means, but nods anyway, albeit a bit reluctantly.

after another round of thank you’s and good night’s, naminé shuts the car door and walks off. the stars are out tonight -- bright jewels sewn into a dark october evening -- and they glimmer around naminé’s form like a halo.

before she can think better of it, kairi rolls down the window and yells, “hey!”

instantly, naminé looks back, wide-eyed and pausing mid-step. kairi’s heart beats once, twice, before she blurts, “you know, you deserve better!”

with that, kairi rolls up the window and revs away, worrying about whether or not she’d said the right thing.

the next time naminé shows up to urgent care, she’s uninjured, and comes bearing a bouquet of flowers. it’s tuesday morning; kairi is in early today, because she doesn’t have class until the afternoon. when the receptionist – a pretty woman named aqua, who sported a brilliantly-blue bob to match – calls kairi out to the front desk, seeing naminé was the last thing she’d expected.

the roses are in full bloom and the color of crushed velvet. naminé says that dark pink roses mean ‘thankfulness’ in flower language – apparently, marluxia’s a botanist, so he knew about little things like that. suddenly kairi thinks that the arrangement loses some of its luster.

“anyways, sorry to bother you at work.” ruby stains naminé’s pearl-pale cheeks. the color almost matches the red-wine shade of kairi’s hair. her mouth -- which had been blood-dabbled not too long ago -- is scabbed over and the color of rust. “i didn’t have your number, or anything – ”

before kairi can fumble for a business card, or a pen, or simply babble out a string of numbers, the doctor on call – ‘vexen, ph.d’ his name tag reads – pushes into the waiting-room and snaps if kairi would please be so kind as to hurry it up. out of the corner of her gaze, kairi notices that aqua’s elegant mouth has twisted into a scowl.

embarrassment splinters naminé’s expression, darkening that ruby blush into garnet shame. all kairi can do is watch, stricken, as naminé stutters apologies the entire way out the door, feeling something like longing unspool in the pit of her stomach.

a week later, kairi meets naminé in the urgent care facility for the third time – though in this instance, blessedly, naminé is not the one in need of care.

“what were you thinking?” roxas is clearly upset, dirty-blond hair a mess, as he watches kairi tend the angry-looking burns on axel’s hands. axel starts to roll his eyes, but then kairi presses medicine against something that makes him wince and hiss out a curse.

“i wasn’t,” he finally grumbles, eyeing the roll of bandages beside him, “it was stupid of me.”

“fire is not just something you play with, axel.” roxas grimaces, not quite crying, but close enough. “you’re so stupid sometimes, did you know that?!”

this time, axel does manage to roll his eyes with infuriatingly axel-like precision – “yeah, yeah, love you, too.” – to which roxas makes kind of a choked noise that might have been a laugh under better circumstances. despite herself, kairi smiles.

“good thing your boyfriend was around to drive you here, axel,” she makes conversation while looping gauze around his palms, between his fingers, “otherwise you would’ve had to turn the steering wheel with your feet.”

axel gives a humorless snort, but roxas immediately perks up. “actually, naminé drove us here. remember her? blonde girl with the asshat boyfriend? she’s still here, too. she wasn’t in the waiting room when we came in because she had to find a place to park the car.”

at the sound of naminé’s name, kairi jerks her head up, wide-eyed. vaguely, she hears axel snicker, but excuses his transgression on the grounds of temporary insanity via the wounds he sustained from sticking his hands into a fire-pit.

“naminé’s here?”

smirking, axel jerks his spiky scarlet mane in the direction of the waiting room. “she said she’d be sitting out there until we were done. say...isn’t it time for your break? why don’t you pop out and say hi? i think i’ll stay here and rest my poor little hands for a bit.” a dramatic sigh. “i doubt i’ll be able to do much for a while, now. i ought to take a sick leave.”

“you’ll be fine,” kairi huffs, exasperated by axel’s theatrics, even as her feet march themselves neatly out the door.

she’s sitting pretty in scabs and silence, hands folded across her lap and legs crossed on one of the navy-cushioned chairs dispersed across the waiting room. kairi thinks she’ll never find someone so ethereal ever again, not even if she combed through the entire earth.

“naminé,” her name spills like stars off the tongue, and tastes just as sweet. “it’s...so nice to see you again!” remembering exactly where they were and why naminé was there in the first place, kairi flushes, then scrambles to save herself. nice going, kai.

much to her relief, naminé giggles; it’s a cute, tinkling laugh, full of dreams and charm. “it’s all right, i know what you mean. don’t worry.”

glancing around, kairi notes that the waiting room is empty, save for naminé and herself. she’s also fairly certain that aqua’s only pretending to be engrossed in typing something on her computer; for a second, kairi manages to catch her eye, and aqua gives her a knowing wink.

“how are the guys doing?”

“well, axel’s still a smart-ass, so he’s gonna be okay. roxas may or may not strangle axel when they get home, but aside from that, i think he’s okay too.”

another flash of pearly teeth. “i’m glad to hear that. both of them are great, really. i couldn’t have asked for better neighbors – this was the least i could do.”

quiet presses against them, muffled and slightly awkward. kairi isn’t quite sure where to go from here, but --

“i broke up with marluxia,” naminé blurts. at first, her face colors, seemingly embarrassed by the outburst; then suddenly she’s grinning, split lips and all. “so, i was wondering if you wanted to...go get coffee sometime? maybe? with me?”

and kairi laughs and smiles and thinks, there is a god after all.

it’s their third official date, and when naminé gets into the passenger seat, she asks if kairi notices anything different tonight.

“hold up, it’s kinda dark outside.” kairi clicks on the overhead light, illuminating the interior of her car a buttery-yellow before squinting at her date. “well, you look very pretty, but that’s nothing new.”

naminé giggles. “no, silly! my lip’s all healed up now. no scab or anything.” she scoots closer, pointing with an index finger. “see?”

instinctively, kairi leans over the armrest, genuinely curious. naminé is right -- there is no trace of lumpy skin or dry blood anywhere beneath the silky-pink gloss she wore on their nights out.

“it didn’t even scar or anything!” kairi observes, sounding more excited than she’d intended to. privately, she’s thrilled to see the last reminder of that biting-botanist-boyfriend gone forever, leaving naminé healed and healthy and happy -- which is exactly what naminé deserved all along.

“yeah, i know.” naminé lowers her finger. “you did a great job, nurse kairi.”

abruptly, kairi becomes very aware of just how close they are to one another. “i-i guess. i didn’t do anything...not really...”

all naminé manages is a tiny noise of disagreement before kairi’s lips are on hers, smudging away the satin-sheen gloss and hands tangled in soft hair.

sometime later in the evening (as naminé buries terrified squeaks into kairi’s shoulder during the horror movie special at the dollar theatre downtown) kairi can’t help but be impressed with the both of them. to keep meeting in a place full of hypodermic needles and sterile-white walls was hardly romantic for anyone; yet somehow, she and naminé had made do.

a/n: thank you guys so much for your patience! again, i apologize for being late, and it was very gracious of you to put up with the delay because of my illness. i hope the story was to your liking! happy holidays & best of luck in the new year! ❤

#khsecretsanta #kh secret santa #namikai #kingdom hearts #kairi #naminé #my fanfics #sigh.. i hope this is okay... T____T i tried v hard to keep w/in what you guys liked hehe #anyways. HAPPY HOLIDAYS STUD & MUFFIN !!!!

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