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lightlycareless · 2 months

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Could you please spare some child au or high school au hc? Please I’m so hungry 😔 /hj

Hello dear anon!!

Well, I've decided to write a lil thing for the child au :> It's the au that I have most neglected, mainly because I don't get any inspiration for it 😭 (idk, just... nothing comes to me, you know?)

BUT I did manage to get this, mainly from my experiences... or maybe that was just me. Either way, I remember taking pictures of just about anything and posting them to my myspace (OOOF) soooo........ enjoy :>

warnings: none, fluff. plus a little something I wanted to explore at the end.

Happy reading!

“—A camera!” Naoya grins as he proudly shows off his newest acquisition, a gift from one of his grandparents; the latest digital model found in the market!

And perhaps something the adults might’ve wanted to wait a bit longer before getting, or at least put up some resistance against Naoya’s never-ending fits when it comes to impressing you…

“What do you think? Nice, right?”

You stare at it for a few seconds, before giving him a big, bright grin and a nod.

“Yes!”

Naoya’s heart flutters—his purpose accomplished.

“I knew you’d be able to recognize excele—exclen—excellency!” he boasts, whether he knew the meaning of that word meant or not, is a mystery for both.

“What are you going to do with it?” you curiously ask. You’ve never had a camera, even though you’ve long expressed your interest for it, (your parents were a bit more… sensible when it came to spoiling you.) Nonetheless, what Naoya’s got was also yours, much to their chagrin.

“Take pictures, of course!”

“But of what?” you pout, frowning.

There’s actually so many things he wishes to do with his new camera, things that he’s partially done already, from taking pictures of the new figures he’s got from his favorite anime to the drawings he’s been slowly working on to impress you…

However, he had a reputation to maintain, and such, he gives you the response he thinks will make him look the coolest, straight from Naoaki’s —his oldest brother— book.

“I don’t know, just, whatever I guess.” He shrugs, copying every mannerism, down to the tone, to impress you.

But to you, he only appeared absent-minded, as if he was foolishly failing to realize the great opportunities having a camera presented!

And thankfully, you’d come to his aid. Unknowingly creating a win-win situation for the two.

“Oh, I know! We can take pictures of us doing cool poses!” you grin. “Like the ones in my brother’s posters!! Or that anime you were watching the other day!!”

“That girl group?” Naoya twists his lips, not very… fond of your idea at first, until the frown on your face rectifies his response. “I mean—If that’s what you want…”

Of course, what he said wasn’t what he felt, for the moment you grabbed his hand with your soft one, tightly holding onto him as you led him towards your room, he was nothing but willing to do what you desired.

He’d silently observe you take out a few of the magazines you managed to sneak out of your brother’s room (Ren’s very aware of it, he just lets you keep them, happy to share his enjoyment for the Spice Girls.) and get ideas of what poses to replicate—down to the smallest details.

Naoya’s commitment had some limits, though.

“I don’t know if I want to do that one…” Naoya murmurs, slightly embarrassed, fearing what he’ll look like before you if he accepts…

“Why not? I even got the clothes!” you encouraged. Kind of. They’re your best attempt at something like that. It’s the thought that counts, though.

But in the end, you let Naoya not take part in the activity, solely because he got an even better job to do—that is, being your own personal photographer.

A camera is something that you’ve always been allured to, especially the instant ones where you can get the picture immediately after, so to hear that your best friend is getting one, and that he’s more than happy to share this adventure with you, is like a dream come true!

So, the two begin to take all kinds of pictures, with just about any pose you could think of, and landscapes to choose from; getting more and more ideas the longer this photoshoot went on.

Eventually, Naoya would also feel comfortable enough to take pictures with you; although truth to be told, he was hoping to get one either way, realizing that by doing this… he’ll have a piece of you to take come.

The thought of keeping your adorableness through pictures is enough to fill his heart with this growing sentiment he has yet to discover as love—or perhaps completely understand, achieving so until much older…

When he isn’t fretting about your increasingly worrisome choices, that is.

“Take a picture when I’m jumping down the edge!!” you’d say. “I’m going to do this cool pose like in Naruto, so be ready!!”

“Y/N, wait!” He cries, camera unprepared, while fearing for your wellbeing. “What if you get hurt?!”

“I’m a ninja! I can’t get hurt!”

The number of scares you’d put him through that day are ones that he’ll never forget, the mere thought of them enough to send shivers through his spine…

But even then, he didn’t complain much. Because he was nothing but happy see you smile and laugh, proof that his decision was the right one, yet again, just to show how well he’s gone to know you—already planning what to get when you eventually grow tired of the camera…

If he doesn’t destroy it first when his brothers eventually discover his embarrassing photos.

“Naoya, come here please!” You’d call from another room, a request that was immediately granted just a few seconds after when he crosses through the doors.

“What is it, my love?” Naoya asks, throughout the years, his determination to please you has never dwindled.

“Look what I found!”

“Oh, its—”

The same camera he got all those years ago, the first one he’s got. A relic of his childhood, in other words.

“The camera, that one! Remember?” you say. Rummaging through the moving boxes has been quite nostalgic as of lately, but you never expected to see something so… ancient, no offense meant. “Wow, can’t believe it’s here…”

“Me neither…” Naoya says, somewhat… nervous.

“Think it still has pictures from back then?”

Naoya immediately turns red.

“No!” he shrieks, making you raise an eyebrow. Did you forget, perhaps? “I mean—It’s old, who knows if the battery or memory are any good.”

“Let’s find out then!” you grin, quickly standing up to look for a compatible charger.

Naoya tries to stop you, kind of; he doesn’t really put that much of a fight whenever he sees you this enthusiastic, although he wishes he could’ve for once, considering how anxious he felt for the impending moment the camera turned on and revealed all those embarrassing pictures he innocently took back then.

To when you giggle graces his ears, amused by his antics…

But when the camera beeps on, he’s received with… well, nothing. Just silence as you diligently flick through the photos, each one received by your intense gaze that makes him wonder if perhaps the camera didn’t work anymore…

Until noticing the fluster in your cheeks, then did Naoya dare to ask what’s wrong.

“Y/N, is… everything ok?”

“Naoya… did you really… keep all these pictures?” you ask, slowly turning around to see him, revealing your burning face.

“I… did.” He silently admits, unsure where this is going, but convinced it wasn’t good. “I… well, you liked them, so I thought I’d keep them, in case you wanted to see them again, of course. I didn’t know you wanted me to… delete them.”

It’s funny to see that even when married, Naoya is just as anxious when it comes to openly expressing his feelings—he’s gotten better at it, of course, the two were now living in the same house together, hoping for a baby…

But maybe it’s the inner child in him, the one that never got to express his feelings back then, didn’t know how. Even though he wanted so, so much.

Which is coincidentally, the same reason that made your breath hitch to your throat, heart skipping a beat when realizing that Naoya, all this time, has…

“—You’ve always cared for me, haven’t you?”

Naoya blinks, caught off guard by the direction this conversation was heading; but even then, he nods, admitting what you confessed.

You knew that already; you wouldn’t have married him if that wasn’t the case.

It’s just that… to be reminded that Naoya always had your wellbeing in mind, probably since the moment he met you… melted your heart.

Truly, you had found your soulmate.

“Enough to even… take these silly pictures of me!” You add, it’s your turn to be embarrassed by all the goofy pictures you made him take; you knew you were nothing but a child back then, actions like these more than expected, but now that you were an adult… you can’t help but wince, covering your cheeks with your hands as you continue to fret. “Oh my god, Naoya—how did you even put up with me back then??! Seriously, look at this one!! It’s all coming to me now—I think I got hurt, didn’t I? Or at least that’s how it felt…”

“I guess I just liked you too much.” He says, a smile on his face.

“I guess you did.” You giggle. “Guess you must’ve had it real bad if you were willing to make silly faces with me! Though you looked far cuter than me, but then again, you were always good-looking.”

“What are you on, love? I don’t think either of us looked good.” he snickers, leaning down and looking at the camera. “Definitely not you on that photo.”

“Hey!” you gasp. “No need to go that low!”

“Or what?” he smirks. “Gonna make me take more pictures of you?”

You gasp. “I’ll take this as blackmail, then!” and then, you stand up, sprinting past the door and away from him, hoping to get a copy of these pictures onto the computer and let your evil scheming commence.

“Huh?! No you’re not!” Naoya says, running right behind you, eventually catching up to you and taking the camera away from your hands.

But you meant no harm, of course, not when the presence of them filled the two with nostalgia, fondly looking back to the moment the two were nothing but kids, yet, unknowingly fated to be with one another.

It’s always meant to be that way; to be happy together, whether in the past, the present, or the future.

One the two have yet to create, now as a family.

Which neither could wait for it to happen.

Naoya and YN growing to be together is the ultimate endgame. I will not discuss otherwise :) also, Naoya might be holding onto those pictures in hopes of showing them off to their future daughter, just to get back at her (Naomi is not thrilled, at all. It's probably the first time she thinks of her parents as weird)

Oh, I hope you enjoyed this little thing 🥺❤️ thank you so much for sending in this ask, the child au is 😭 the fluff I need amongst these times of angst haha.

Anyways, I will try my best to write the Naoya b-day one shot :> In between requests and updates.... you know... eheh.

Thank you so much for your patience, take care, and hope to see you soon ❤️❤️❤️

#ask #naoya zenin #naoya zen'in #naoya x reader #naoya zenin x reader #naoya zenin x you #jjk naoya #naoya zen'in x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk x you #prompt series: jujutsu kaisen

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gamerwoman3d · 7 months

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Welp. It's been fun but I gotta go to horny jail for about the next thousand years or so. Holy fuck.

[Spicy/Explicit AND gifs AND gore under the cut 🔞]

Original video:

[And not to brag but yes I did get a flawless victory over him in that ridiculous Seasonal Tower in Invasions mode. Watch the whole thing if you want to find out how.]

Okay. It is horny hours.

They objectified the fuck outta this man in this fatality and honestly? Kudos.

This hit me in all the kinks at once. No trigger warnings past this point read at your own risk

On screen, the whole thing about Shang Tsung pouring pain-inducing liquid on Sub-Zero's chest reads like hot wax. It reads like overstimulation and forced climax. Omg his hips... the way Shang Tsung watches/monitors him almost gives the viewer permission and encouragement to do the same. It's as if Shang Tsung is telling us "I'm enjoying watching this man writhe and spurt and lose his mind. I'm enjoying it immensely, actually. There's no reason not to do so."

We get so many of Sub-Zero's expressions. That's the more intimate part - the part most often censored in any kind of porn is the man's face, as if it's illegal for them to display any kind of expressions. As if they might accidentally leak proof of an actual emotion, it is too taboo even in the realm of porn to show the guy's face. That's what makes this particular piece of art-violence unique: it's usually a woman cringing in fear and pain and dread at the brink of being devoured by a monster that is simultaneously a vagina dentata and also phallic. [See: Ripley, Aliens.]

So we get to see his face in part pain, part fear, part on the brink of death, all the way through a symbolic climax, until literally he's getting his mind blown. And it's kinda amazing.

As for the other kinks this scene is reminiscent of, I'm personally not a big fan of being tied down but exceptions can be made - I'm into it if he is. There's the dom/sub[-zero hah] element of Shang Tsung having autonomy while Sub-Zero can only watch and pray [he kinda mouths 'oh my god' - right? if you read lips, lmk]. Not into the power imbalance part but Shang Tsung's enjoyment of the situation itself is also kinda arousing.

The final bit is the blood/birth stuff. Skipping the mpreg stuff [Barbara Creed has all this covered in The Monstrous Femme, check it out from a library], the blood stuff is... well its a kink for some. For me there's only one week a month where seeing blood on his nose is acceptable 😝

And yea I'd still sit there if the enthusiasm was mutual. Damn snake beat me to it this time tho.

#mortal kombat #mk1 #mortal kombat 1 #sub zero #bi han #mk sub zero #mk shang tsung #Shang Tsung #bihan #subzero #sub zero mk1 #sub zero bi han #sub-zero #First of all #yikes. Secondly this is every scrap of Barbara Creed's arguments of the Monstrous Feminine rolled into one single fatality #like a loaded objectification burrito. Third #I've never seen all this horror executed on an objectified male form so perfectly #and major kudos to NRS on that one. Yes it's an Alien/Ripley reference throughout and I can write a whole paper on the similarities.#but more importantly hooollyy fuuuu do you see his hips #Symbolically though the spiky snake thing is both phallic [the last shot of it still standing out of his torso makes it even more phallic]#and it is also a vagina dentata symbol. And it sitting on his face like that had some dual meanings. One of which was someone at nrs may #have wanted to tie him down and sit on his face [thanks for your hard work nrs worker] and the other being the trope of “dick on the brain.

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seleniangnosis · 2 years

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𝓒𝓸𝓷𝓿𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓥𝓮𝓷𝓾𝓼💗

Pile 1 Pile 2 Pile 3

In this reading I will be focusing on Venus' energy and how to utilise it in order to make the best out of your life and live in more harmony with yourself and others, with the channeled help of Aphrodite 🌸

This is a collective reading so take the parts that resonate to you and/or applies to your personal experience💗

Feedback is appreciated🥀

Pile 1

Hello pile one and welcome to your reading 🥀

Relationships and interactions with others.

To make the best out of this life area , you should be more open and optimistic when it comes about human interactions.

People might have hurt or abandoned you in the past , but locking your heart away isn't going to help either.

You are encouraged to find the strength to open up little by little to new experiences with people ( I'm talking about all kinds of relationships here) , and find some like minded people you can actually confide in.

Be compassionate to both yourself and others and don't push them away. With time and gentleness, good people will stick around 💗

In order to raise your self esteem, you should relax and focus on balance. Be it a nurturing diet, trying new journal prompts,staring a self care routine.(any type of self care you might find enjoyable)

Try to remain balanced in times of stress and think about your health more often.

Try to create the perfect balance using different methods of self care that appeal to you , instead of following the advice of beauty gurus 💗

In order to make your life more pleasurable, you should develop the ability to communicate your needs to others, in order to feel more understood and satisfied with yourself.

Give others love and you'll receive it back .

Afirm yourself and regain your confidence by expressing your needs and desires.

Additionally, you can also take some time for yourself each week , buy something for yourself, redecorate your room, do some meditation on connecting with mother earth, or anything that is pleasant to your senses.

You should take a bit more responsibility in terms of how you view relationships in your life. Even if you were hurt by some people, not everyone has intentions to hurt you all the time.

Bring some clarity to your thoughts before deciding to make any sort of connection with other people 💗

Pile 2

Hello pile two and welcome to your reading 🥀

Relationships and interactions with others.

To better these connections , be it a romantic one or just a friendship, you need to consider the way you view people I your life. Do you cherish them and form genuine connections, or you make friends or get into relationships just out of being bored or wanting some fun?

You might be stuck in this cycle and missing beneficial opportunities to forming a long lasting relationship or friendship.

Try to see I there are other ways trough which you can enjoy and experience human connections.💗

In order to raise your self esteem you should challenge yourself to be more willing to confront what you don't like about yourself. You might be refusing to " grow up" and this might reflect into the real world as seeking some sort of escapism that manages to give you self confidence for a short period of time, then you're back to feeling shy and/or inadequate.

Some of you could also be a bit childish when dealing and confronting other people, or a bit manipulative. You need to learn how to stand on your own feet and make your way through the world. Others cannot do it for you.

In order to make your life more enjoyable you should learn how to be more self reliant. Instead of waiting for others to point out your achievements or what you are good at, start doing this yourself! Self recognition feels 1000 times better than what you receive from people around you.

Think about how you can spend your time alone, when not seeking approval or slightly meaningless connections with others.

If there are some fears you have about accepting yourself, you can try look for some books or videos on how to get past traumas or self improvement💗

As a general advice, you should be more original in what you do. Get closer to the real you! Overcome doubts and go into a new direction, rather than repeating the same cycles over and over again.

Pile 3

Hello pile three and welcome to your reading 🥀

Relationships and interactions with others.

To better your connections with others , you should be more careful about what type of people you allow to get close to you. It is possible that you might be the type of person who attracts hurt and toxic people, whom you will later try to "fix".

It ain't gonna work... while your intentions are good, they are 'unfixable ' and will only use your as long as you have any use to them.

In order to develop more self esteem you need to give yourself more credit for the way you look. You might be gorgeous, with an amazing style, yet you have this idea I mind that others are and will always be better than you at what they do and how they look.Being a doormat for others won't increase your worth I their eyes.

In order to make your life feel better, you need to ,again, stop comparing yourself to others. Certain things and advancements in life happen at a different peace for everyone. If you haven't accomplished something yet, don't feel inferior, but rather use the time to consolidate your foundation for the future.

The general advice of the reading is to spend more time investing in yourself and your dreams rather than feeling concerned about what you haven't achieved yet. Build your own dreams slowly and invest whatever you can in what brings you happiness and joy!💗

#pac reading #pick a pile reading #pick a card reading #tarot spread #tarot cards #tarot reading #tarotblr #free tarot #daily tarot #tarot community

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pinchinschlimbah · 2 months

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Continuing from my previous post let's talk about the queercoding and themes in Dick Turpin episode 3! So first off, I had previously said I was hoping we'd get to hear more about Honesty's backstory since I was having a hard time identifying what his deal was, and I was delighted to find out this episode that the reason he needed less help finding himself than the other two is because he's got parents who are actively and enthusiastically supportive of his- and I use this phrase very intentionally- alternative lifestyle :)

In direct foil to this, the other main theme of the episode is Wilde's relationship with both himself and his son. Wilde is so caught up in the old fashioned, violent, and oppressive life path he's gone down that he views it as the only path and that anything less is failure. He prides himself in this toxic masculinity, and in the exchange Wilde and Dick have about it, Dick notes that Wilde seems insecure explicitly about not being the "big boss" in charge, and possibly implicitly (unbeknownst to Dick thus far) that Wilde's boss is a woman who has power over him. Just as we saw with Dick and his father in the first episode, Wilde seems to be resentful and embarrassed of his son for not living up to his expectations of what a man should be- he expresses frustration and dismissal towards Christopher for being too soft and not the violent criminal mastermind Wilde wishes his son to be, but also expresses that he feels Christopher is too fragile to be exposed to the world without his father's protection and therefore shouldn't be given the chance to have his own experiences. In response to Wilde explaining that he expects Christoper to follow in his tough guy crime boss footsteps, Dick remarks "what if he wants to be an artist....or a barista...or an artist who works as a barista" which you cannot tell me isn't deliberate queercoding!!

In the later conversation between Dick and Wilde, Dick tries to find common ground between them as they each list their interests and we're shown the divide between staunch seriousness and compassionate enjoyment, toxic masculinity vs joyful flamboyancy. During the eventual moment of vulnerability from Wilde, he admits that he feels like the joyful parts of him have been drained away by the society he exists in, and only the serious and evil parts are left over. Dick, who by his own self-confidence and unabashed authenticity has clearly evaded this same fate despite seemingly experiencing a similarly conservative upbringing, remarks that that's a really bleak way of existing, and encourages Wilde to spend more time with his son and enjoy the world around him. Wilde, to his credit, does actually work toward following this advice! Meanwhile, Christopher (or as Nell calls him, which feels significant to all of this in that so much of Noel's work casually has no regard for traditional perception of gender, "Jennifer") once left to his own devices ends up bonding with the gang and admits that he himself wants to be a highwayman. He becomes particularly attached to Moose, arguably the most queer-coded (and I wouldn't be surprised if it becomes more explicitly stated later in the show given how he's been portrayed so far) character in the show- arriving in London twirling in his dress and being excited about dancing, flamboyant hats, and the theatre. After Christopher gets to spend a day with someone who encourages his flamboyance and sense of joy and fun rather than expecting him to be someone he's not, Christopher seems changed for the better and more sure of himself, and once he's reunited with his father who has been on his own journey of learning this lesson, the episode ends with the indication of them moving forward together towards a more compassionate, accepting, and happier future. Anywayyyy, I love this silly little show so goddamn much already. Stay tuned for probably more in the coming weeks!

Editor’s note: I just realized I forgot to address that Dick’s first choice of disguise was a female character and that the fight club leader reacts to her as a pretty lady but also like….do I even need to point that out? Standard par for the course for a Noel media hahaha

#dick turpin #the completely made up adventures of dick turpin #noel fielding #gay yelling #shouts into void

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tossawary · 10 months

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The Nimona movie is a very fun watch! Sweet and funny. A little different to the graphic novel (finally got around to reading the graphic novel just yesterday, definitely enjoyed it), but a solid overall adaptation of the novel's themes and the lovable, silly, and emotionally-touching characters. Very lively, extremely expressive animation and super fun, vibrantly colored, interestingly shaped and textured world and character design. I would honestly love to see the frames of this movie turned into a graphic novel of their own. I am personally a huge fan of the techno-fantasy / techno-medieval aesthetic. (The similarities between Nimona and the She-Ra reboot are obvious and imo super fun. I enjoy both stories.) Also, yes, one of the main characters is a man explicitly in a romantic relationship with another man, and that was very nice to see.

I have a couple worldbuilding plot hole quibbles (personal nitpicky stuff that didn't detract from my enjoyment) and I also personally think that the pacing of the movie was a little quick in places. There could have been clearer indication of the passage of even more time. It could have lingered more and allowed for even more slower and quieter moments, going a little deeper into things, but (that's what fanfiction is for, ha ha) that opinion might just be because I liked the characters and relationships so much that I wanted even more and even more detail. I intend to read the graphic novel again and then watch the movie again soon to appreciate the details and enjoy them for a second time.

I've seen some people give flashing warnings but can't personally speak as to the details of that, other than to say the flashing seemed pretty average for an animated movie to me (animated movies are not great with flashing, as a rule, now that I'm thinking about it), as opposed to something nonstop like Spiderverse. Something to look into, though, if that's a concern for you.

Story-wise, I would also warn for some pretty explicit themes of othering to the point of suicide ideation and actions that could be considered a suicide attempt. The film also (slight SPOILERS for the first 10 minutes or so) opens with a non-gory murder and someone losing an arm, which is quickly replaced by a robotic prosthetic, and the struggles of that injury and disability are kind of glossed over. There are casual discussions of murder in the movie as humor, but they veered away from the sort of explicit casual murder that happens in the graphic novel.

Apparently giving stuff a double thumbs-up (the "I love it!" option) on Netflix is important to supporting the film (one of the metrics that high-ups will be looking at or something), if you can do that and wish to do that. If you're watching it another way and want to show support, then I'm sure that happy reviews on film sites, posting positively, and generally encouraging friends to watch it are also pretty good ways. I wish the movie had had even a brief theater release near me, but alas, I shall have to content myself with enjoying it on the small screen. I wonder if they managed to create any merch for this movie. I'd love a Nimona t-shirt or something.

#tossawary nimona

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smilestrawbunny · 24 days

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Hey! Just a heads up, I'm sending this to multiple people, since I wanna get as many different viewpoints on this as I can. I hope this doesn't bother you. Also, this is pretty long.

So, I have a question about gamedev, but more on the marketing/presence side.

Most gamedevs I know, even hobbyist ones, keep their accounts relatively professional. Sure, they may shitpost here and there, but it's mostly in relation to their games, the gamedev sphere in general, or very general inoffensive stuff. And, most importantly, I've seldom seen my favorite gamedevs (or any of my favorite internet personalities, for that matter) comment on random videos unrelated to what type of content they usually post.

All of my social media accounts are quite unprofessional. I've also had them for a long time, so there are a few things on my digital footprint that I'd rather people not see. I also, for lack of a better way of explaining, watch and read random shit and like to leave comments on it sometimes.

I feel like, I were to become a gamedev, I wouldn't be able to do that anymore. I'd have to treat my internet presence as its own balancing act, rather than a place for me to express myself unabashedly. I know this is working under the assumption that I would get big and that people would give a damn about me, but there is always the off chance of that happening. Of a random game you make suddenly blowing up because it hit the algorithm just right. So it's better to be prepared. And even if I don't get that big boom in popularity, I still plan to at least make games consistently enough to build a community of their own. Nothing like, huge, but I really enjoy the idea of people enjoying my work and sharing that enjoyment with others. But I don't want that to cross over into my personal life!

I know that's not an impossible feat, but I feel like it kind of destroys the purpose of the internet for me. To me, it's always been a safe space where I could express myself and easily connect with people with similar viewpoints, but I am now coming to odds with this concept as I consider how I want to become a gamedev.

There's also the side note that I don't wanna rebrand. At least not completely. I don't mind cleaning up my accounts or deleting some old ones, but I've grown very attached to being "Quamai". I can't imagine myself having any other online identity, even if there are some cringy moments attached to it.

So, do you have any advice for my situation? How did you personally go about your own online image, and what do you think is the best course of action?

Thank you in advance!

Oh, I am such a funny person to come to about this- I never let being a game dev stop me from interacting with works I like, haha! Maybe that’s just because I’m a smaller creator, though. Just recently I posted death note fan art, I’m currently working up the courage to post about fandom related ocs, and I’m hosting a game jam encouraging fan works that might be considered “cringy.”

The people who like you and your work will still be there regardless. You can count on that as a fact! So why should you stop yourself from having fun?

Life is far too short to be worried about your public image to such a high degree. Like you said, these are already things that you actively do to express yourself and enjoy! So if it gives you any semblance of comfort, I’ll start doing even more “unprofessional” things to help you out there <3 /pos

#ask #I’m not saying like. to do crazy horrible things though online LOL #obviously I just mean that harmless fun is harmless and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed by it!#if you look at any of your favorite creators they probably have fan art up somewhere #embrace what makes you happy! be self indulgent! it’ll attract like-minded people and overall make you happier <3 #ironically I think this was the push I needed to start posting non game related art so thank you!!!

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not-quite-there-myself · 8 months

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"Take My Hand"

Synopsis: It started off with you and him moving through a large crowd. Whether it was your nervousness or just an instinct to stick together, you reach for his hand to hold it. How do they react? Notes: Point form, gender neutral, refers to reader as "Summoner"

Arcturus

With so many people around, you feel yourself tense and reach for Arcturus. He almost doesn't notice your hold on him, thinking it was just someone brushing past his side. When he finds that the tug on his arm is still there, he turns his head and notices you firmly latching onto him. It might take a moment for him to register, but seeing your nervous expression is enough to make your action click.

"Woah! This area isn't usually busy at this time... Is there an event I missed? Ah, Summoner! You're holding onto my- No no, it's okay! You just surprised me! If it helps you, keep holding onto me. That way, we won't lose each other!"

He is the type to not mind holding hands at all! People getting anxious in a crowd is completely normal and he understands your impulse to latch onto someone familiar. After you manage to escape the crowd, he might ask if you two can hold hands again. Yes, mainly to make sure you are comfortable, but he also admits that holding hands is an enjoyable action for him as well. If you let him, he'd have his fingers interlocked with yours the entire way! ...Of course, only if it's alright with you.

"There's no need to worry, Summoner! Whenever you want to hold my hand, just say the word! I'll try my best to be here, and to protect you! Hehe."

Pollux

At first, he is a bit surprised that you reached for him. Instead of you being worried about getting separated from him, Pollux thought you were worried about him being separated from you. He's sometimes teased for being so short that he's easy to lose in a crowd, so when he learns that you wanted to latch onto him for the opposite reason, he felt almost pleasantly surprised.

"Hey hey, Summoner! What's up? Hold your hand? Ugh, you're not teasing me for being short like Alpheratz does, right? You're... you're not? Well in that case, go ahead!"

Pollux is very happy he could be able to give you some comfort while walking; for him, giving you his hand to hold is no problem at all. The feeling of your hand in his is a bit weird to him but not in a bad way. He's just not used to it, that's all. If anything, he may just encourage you to do it more often—that, and he might also make you pinkie swear on it. He won't openly admit it right away, but he enjoys holding you, too, you know? Whenever you get visibly anxious, rest assured that he will be the first to offer his hand regardless of if you're in a crowd or not.

"Of course you can hold my hand! If you ever get nervous again, just come to me! And promise you'll stick close to me, okay?"

Alpheratz

Unlike Pollux—and perhaps even Arcturus, too—Alpheratz is easier to find in a crowd, given the fact that he is a much taller person. Grabbing his hand or latching onto his arm doesn't serve as a problem, but you feared that Alpheratz's initial reaction might spark some awkwardness between the two of you. Fortunately for you, it doesn't look like he minds at all.

"Summoner? What are you grabbing onto me like that for? Scared you'll get lost? Ah... I get it. Alright, well, if you're gonna to hold onto me like that, at least hold onto me properly."

Whether it be for his own comfortability or your own, Alpheratz will adjust your hold on him so that you aren't just tugging at his sleeve. He may adjust your hand's positioning on his arm, or just take your hand and hold it like that. After successfully getting out of the crowd, if you ask him about wanting to hold hands again, he will not reject your proposal... At least, not without a few half-joking conditions.

"You want to do that again? That's fine by me, but only if we aren't around Spica or that little boy. They might get the wrong idea, haha. But seriously, if you really do need to hold my hand for comfort or something, just go ahead. I don't mind, promise."

Spica

When you suddenly reach for his hand, he immediately thinks something is wrong and worries for your safety. Spica will look at you with concern at first, continuing to walk through the crowd with you while being on guard. He'll subtly observe the people around you, and in doing so he might even hold your wrist in return; gently as to not hurt you or make you uncomfortable.

"Summoner, what is it? Are you feeling unwell? You are just... nervous? Mm, I see."

He will likely get the hint and figure out right away that you get a bit anxious in crowds; though, even without a crowd surrounding you, being nervous in general makes you want to latch onto someone for support. Spica is generally understanding, and if you let him know upfront, he will take a mental note to pay extra attention to you if you ever need to take his hand or arm. Also, he might not say it out loud, but he secretly likes having your hand in his, too.

"This crowd is a little dense. It helps if you hold hands with someone, correct? In that case, I can offer mine if you'd like. Do I like it? I... don't mind it. It is for your safety, so I don't see the problem."

Sirius

Sirius is quick to observe, especially when it comes to you. He can tell that crowds aren't your thing, and in general being nervous causes you to naturally want to reach out to someone. If ever given the chance to be the person you reach out to, why should he wait for someone else when he's right there? Whether intentionally or not, Sirius is the target your hand ends up gripping on to... and boy is he smug about it.

"Hm? Summoner's holding me so tightly, my hand might come off. Are you regretting holding my hand? Hahaha... Oh, you have no idea what kind of position you put yourself in. If you're not careful, people will think we might be a couple."

He absolutely enjoys it and will tease you about it. He knows full well that it's mostly for your own comfort, but he also can't help but find the act self indulgent as he finds himself wanting to hold your hand, too. Much to your dismay (or not!), Sirius may find a myriad of excuses to hold your hand despite your anxieties not being present. He might also appear out of nowhere just to make you hold hands with him, but those cases are few and far between.

"Summoner, your hands are so cold~ Here, why don't I take them to warm you up? ...Are you accusing me of wanting to hold your hand? Haha, that is a rather bold assumption, Summoner."

Vega

You reaching for his hand takes him by surprise; his other hand instinctively moves on the handle of his rapier, almost unsheathing it. His hand steadies when there is no obvious signs of a threat, but he still keeps you in his sights, close to him, and keeps his (as well as your own) distance from other people the best he can. He will ask you if you're alright, and if you just tell him that being in the middle of a crowd makes you nervous, he will get the two of you out of there right away.

"Summoner? What is... Why are you holding my hand? Um, no, it's not that I... dislike it. I was just worried, you look nervous. Ah, this crowd is making you uncomfortable? Then please excuse me, Summoner. I will hold your hand for now. Let me take you somewhere else."

When the crowd subsides and your anxiety dissipates, you'll find that Vega may be a little hesitant to let go. He looks away when your interlocked hands loosen, and you could swear that he looked almost disappointed. To his surprise, Vega finds himself missing your hand intertwined with his, even if it was for a short period of time. He'll manage, though. At least, that's what he tells himself. But maybe one day he'll find the courage to ask for your hand, just as you had before.

"You don't have to let go... No, it's not that I want to hold hands, it's just that I... Actually, nevermind. The danger has subsided for now. Summoner, what's that look for? ...I look disappointed-? No, i-it's nothing. Please just forget it."

#nqt writing #arcana twilight #arcana twilight arcturus #arcana twilight pollux #arcana twilight spica #arcana twilight alpheratz #arcana twilight sirius #arcana twilight vega

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pansear-doodles · 1 year

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Your ability to make such great art and great stories so frequently is really impressive :D! Do you have any tips on how to maintain that kind of drive?

Oh boy

my fellow tumblrian followers, its time i give a long tangent of advice when it comes to maintaining a drive

and I mean VERY long so bear with me.

So first off the bat, I'm not the best person when it comes to focus and consistency. You might immediately think otherwise considering what I post as of recent but actually- my Rain World hyperfixation has disturbed most of my scheduled stuff (but I at least maintain some aspect of uniform somewhere such as making sure I have enough sleep and having something to eat, and making sure I attend my college classes).

Aside from that however, there are actually positive factors and outcomes when it comes to this, or well- tangible from the idea of me posting RW content so frequently and everyday.

I'll go over the major ones:

Passion and Motivation I love Rain World so much and I don't even play it, yet I continue to try making fanart, which I enjoy doing. But why do I do it? Why do I continue to draw it? Why do I want to interpret these funky looking characters in my own way and in my own visions? Simple. Because I *want* to. Nobody is subjecting me nor forcing me to draw these characters. Nobody can stop me from drawing these characters because I know whatever the hell I'm doing with them isn't going to harm people. I always have these personalized thoughts of projecting myself into these fictitious worlds... playing with them as if they're barbie dolls... dissecting them for who they really are as a character... wanting to see them be happy or go through experiences I had or emotions that are uncommon in their canon. I *want* to see depressed characters have a fun time and go through the feelings I went through with them, and its not just exclusive to the Rain World fandom- I've been through past fandoms where my favorite characters have depressing lives yet I find enjoyment when I draw them smiling or hanging out with their friends. I generally don't like venting, but the best I can do to occasionally let loose of my thoughts is to translate it through how the characters act. I *want* them to achieve things that I myself easily could not so I can feel a satisfactory warmth for every bit of that I do. (and encourage myself to do the same) Although... I have to iterate that sometimes its not going to be healthy. Like- do I want to be a murderous bloodthirsty war criminal like Artificer? My most favorite slugcat? Of course not. Its always good and justified to differentiate reality from fiction, and if you have that sort of sense you'd be happy if you can express the real thoughts you have through fiction. That's what its created for after all- and its not just to entertain others, but also yourself!

Real life fuel I LOVE music and I am unable to work nor draw without them. It keeps something busy in the background and really sets the mood. But for me personally, I put on music that's appropriate for my situation. It can range from Jazz, Anime OPs, Video Game Music, Rock, etc. If I want to pump out art or feel energetic, I put on energetic music. If I want to think with comprehensive words and not be too distracted, I put on something lyric less and something calm. Music is not the only thing that keeps me going physically. There's food and drinks (the latter I make with most). But did you know... I hate coffee? Yeah that's right. Throw all your tomatoes. I just don't like the bitterness of it. Coffee is a good drink to keep one awake, but since I don't like it- I look for alternatives. Strangely enough, soda drinks both keep me awake and allow me to sleep better. If you have something like that- a strange food quirk or a food in general that will keep you uppity up and motivated, I recommend you consume them (but not excessively- make sure you maintain a balanced diet). And speaking of the such- make sure to keep your body moving. I do take walks and breaks from the computer. It does help with generating ideas (you have no idea how many ideas that pop in and I immediately make them to a reality), so make sure to write them down so you don't forget them!

Listen from experience and heart I didn't just become a subjectively good artist out of the blue. I had to work my way up here for you to see my content as is. Its not my first time making comics and its definitely not my first time interpreting an existing character in my own way. To tell you the truth... I don't usually have my comic projects finished or at least go through all the way. Its hard for me to be consistent and dedicated to one project. So how did I finish Heist? Calling back to the first factor: Its a strong desire for me to tell this story after all. I want to show the Rain World fandom my interesting ideas (well, interesting to *me*). Heist is not perfect of course. Its borderless, uncolored, sketchy, etc. But what mattered to me at the time is my strong desire of telling it anyway (and I'm still doing it right now with both of my Artihunter-centered comics!). I did the best I could. I tried it. Found feedback to use for improvements. Marched forward! There is always a first time for everything and all it takes is a leap of faith, patience and encouragement, self-confidence, and lots and lots of practice. Your desires are stronger than the placed subjective you are underneath of.

Letting inspiration flow you Nothing in this world is purely original. Some concepts are based from other concepts, even ones where we think is the base concept of those concepts. Usually when there is something I REALLY like, I borrow those ideas excitedly. I embrace these thoughts of enjoying those very ideas and translate them in my own special way. I look at this thing and tell myself: "I really like this thing! Maybe I can expand that." The Rain World fandom is, by far throughout my experiences, the MOST inspirational fandom I've ever been on. People come up to me and admit they're inspired from me, even the subtle ones! (I had people tell me that they've never really seen drawings of Artificer's tail being a fuse until I came in with the idea; they might be coincidences and people can think of it independently, but some are straight up admitting, which is very interesting and nice) And in return, I get inspired by them back! Memes and nods and all. I look at someone's drawing of Gourmand wearing a shirt that says "here for cake" and I do it with my own because I find it funny and cute. I look at someone's drawing of how Hunter holds the spears on their back using rot, and I translate that in my own way combining with what I have: hair that holds it as a result from the rot. I look at someone's art of Artificer X Hunter for the first time, found it a bit funny, turned it into a meme, rolled a bit more with it, found it potentially engaging and emotion-driven, then the next thing you know, everyone's screaming over me saying "you did this! now we ship it too! curse you!" and I find that hilarious and very thoughtful and nice. (and now we have a dedicated tag for it LOL) Influence is a very strong word in the internet, especially between artists. No artist can avoid influence, not even outside of the internet. I embrace said influence and let it go through my veins, mixing and matching and concocting them in my own Pansear-styled tastes. It is EXTREMELY fun and I've been doing it for the longest time! Inspiring each other is so cool and I wanna be in the ride of that!

Freedom

Repeat after me: "I am cringe, but I am free"

But Pansear! You may think to yourself: this phrase has a different meaning and or may be senseless whatsoever. To that which I reply: You're talking to someone who thinks a bit outside of the box and enjoys being chaotic. A funny phrase may be funny or overdone, but there is meaning to some. For me at least, I interpret it as "I may be doing stuff I might regret or might be bullied of, but at least I am having fun."

I think everyone agrees that in the end, we are all internet users of our own right, artists and nonartists, we have our own meanings and own ways of enjoying things. Some people might not prefer my ideas or vibe with them, and I can feel the same. There is no shame in being different. I am guilty of constantly comparing myself to other artists. I get envious, admittedly, of how people can draw the scugs prettier than I could. But I always try to translate these feelings of envy and jealousy into a motivational factor- a positive emotion that speaks "If I can try, I will try harder" or "I think these ideas are pretty neat and I am inspired by them actually" or "everyone's visions are different from mine so I shouldn't bother with trying to be the same with everyone else"

Conclusion/TLDR: It helps to be yourself and have fun! Be passionate! Embrace that chaotic and happy energy and remember to go off with confidence. Keep trying and you'll eventually reach things, even if its going to be difficult. I make it sound easy to do, but I definitely know its not as everyones' approach is different, but there's no harm in just doing it.

#ask #art advice

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wyxan · 4 months

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Fanfic Writing New Year's Resolutions

Thank you to @mightymightygnomepriest for tagging me in her resolutions, it was lovely to sit and think about this!

2023 marks the year I really properly started recovering from a serious breakdown in 2020. One of the most precious parts of my recovery has been rebuilding what it means to be me as a full person - what I like and dislike, what sparks joy, what tastes yucky, what I'll tolerate and what will overwhelm me. It's been a year of trying things and being stupendously brave and proud of myself and celebrating everything that I try with enthusiasm. It's also been trying out expressing opinions, and sharing my actual thoughts and feelings with others - something I didn't realize was a) so scary and b) took so much practice.

I think I've been really very lucky by the people that I have bumped into along the way who have, perhaps unknowingly, pulled me along in their slipstream and shared a bit of their joy. I'm trying to practice believing they value and enjoy my comments and input, and showing that I'm grateful without getting super into the weeds.

So, my resolutions are very much on the theme of developing as a person and sharing that person with others:

I'm going to take part in the DC/Marvel Crossover Fanworks Celebration run by @dc-marvel-crossovers at the start of 2024. It has been so nice to rediscover DC and to continue loving Marvel, and to be involved in such an encouraging and enthusiastic community! A whole event designed to celebrate other writers is the definition of "sparks joy". I was really insanely nervous to take part in the advent calendar event but the enjoyment was worth the nerves so I'm throwing myself in the deep end again, this time with armbands on.

I'd like to write a couple of gift fics and give back a little more tangibly to those who have made 2023 so fun. I have some ideas percolating which I think will be fun for the receivers.

I'm going to produce at least 2 pieces of fan art - one for the crossover event, and one which I have had planned for a good few months but have been too scared that it needs to be perfect so it has stayed not done at all. I'm going to post them even if I personally think they are pants - recognizing both that sometimes my own opinion is skewed and that everyone has to start somewhere!

I'm going to continue to comment on the fics that I read and sharing out my favorite lines / themes / descriptions with the writer. I'm not going to make it a chore, it's about sharing joy!

I want to be brave enough to be varied and to write what I want to write, regardless of whether that may be popular. I think I learned this year that sometimes fic writing will mean a) acknowledging that something not getting a lot of hits or feedback can feel hurtful and b) I felt joy and pride while writing it and still do while reading it, so 2024 I will practice how to hold both of those as true at the same time.

Finally, and potentially most importantly, I'm going to try lots of different things, and find what I like and what I don't like to write. I'm going to separate what I like and don't like from what I'm good at or what gets good feedback, and focus instead on how the writing process makes me feel.

Having said that I'm practicing being an actual person in people's lives, I'm not quite at the place where I think people will want me to tag them without massively worrying I will annoy them (baby steps). If anyone else fancies making one of these I would genuinely love to see your thoughts for the new year!

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sailxrmxrs · 2 years

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guess who is back on their au bs. spoiler it's me. time to relive my uni experience vicariously through fictional men in a college au <3 excuse the long post in advance but i have no self control and ofc they all deserve their time to shine hehe. also!! sometime soon i'll be writing n posting solo fics for the infinite blue boys that haven't yet had one so tobias, brooklyn, and alexei enjoyers your time is coming. until then i go hibernate and scream about rings of power to literally anyone that will listen. enjoy the college au softness gamers.

♡ leo ♡

Moving into your new room for the oncoming year of university had been an interesting process. The pinnacle of all the excitement had been the fact that your window aligned perfectly with the window of another apartment. More specifically, another person's bedroom. When you were sitting at your desk, you had the perfect view at the other person's own desk and, when he was sat there, you could see whatever he was doing. At first, it had been the cause of awkward stumbles and unsure movements. Should you acknowledge each other? Wave and try to say hi? Or would it be weird to make it known that you could, in fact, directly see each other at any given point of the day when you were both sat in your rooms. Your neighbour had made that awkward uncertainty feel like a distant glimmer of a memory though. One afternoon when you were tidying your room, you'd caught a glimpse of him in his room, beaming at you with a friendly wave. He looked as though he'd just gotten home, still wearing an outdoor jacket and dark blue hat atop his even darker hair. Even without meeting him it was glaringly obvious that this man was the walking personification of sunshine.

Since then, anytime you saw each other you'd happily wave in greeting. It soon became a comfortable bond, despite never having spoken a word to each other. Eventually, he began to communicate via post-it notes, writing out little messages for you and sticking them to the window. Somewhere along the way, you'd learnt his name was Leo and he was, as appearances suggested, just as much a ray of positivity as you'd first suspected. Sometimes his notes were little anecdotes about a movie he'd watched with his flatmate, or they'd be little messages of encouragement if he saw you were particularly stressed about a class or piece of homework. And you would do the same, offering little snippets of your life in the form of handwritten notes. Leo's presence was a soothing comfort with no pressure to talk when you couldn't; you were simply existing together in your separate bubbles with the knowledge that there was someone there to provide company should you feel as though you needed it. The two of you had also exchanged phone numbers one night when Leo had been concerned you were overworking yourself. He had called you instantly, warm voice gently reprimanding you until you agreed to take a break and get some rest. After that, Leo started texting reminders to eat or take breaks throughout the day. It was a sweet gesture that you soon discovered Leo also needed to hear, his own habits as bad as yours. He, too, seemed to be far better at taking care of others than himself.

"Aren't you supposed to be taking a break?" Leo asked, glaring at you from his own spot at the window.

"Aren't you? Either way I'm almost done and then I will. Stop looking in my window too it's weird." You punctuated your teasing comment with a knowing smile in Leo's direction that he echoed with one of his own. There was a beat of silence, the two of you just looking into one another's eyes before Leo broke that quiet.

"Want to do something fun?"

Your eyes narrowed, expression tinged with mild concern for the mischievous look on Leo's face. "Like what?"

He fidgeted in his chair, fingers playing with a pen as he answered. "Remember as a kid seeing those tin can phones in the cartoons?" He paused, waiting for a response or acknowledgement that you knew what he meant. When you nodded, he continued on, seemingly unconcerned with how ridiculously out-of-nowhere it might sound. "Have you ever tested to see if it works?"

"I think I see where this is going. But no, I haven't tried it."

"Do you want to?" Leo grinned as you rolled your eyes at the sight of the two tin cans he was now waving in the window. Why he wanted to try it out when you could already speak to each through the phone was beyond you, but there was no denying that his excitement was pretty cute. So you went along with it, watching as Leo figured out how to poke a hole to feed the string through. Soon he was opening his window and leaning out so that he could toss the other end over to you. If anyone was walking along the path between the two apartment buildings and happened to glance up, who knew what they'd think of the two college students orchestrating a hesit in the form of childlike communication methods. Once you'd managed to catch your end of the makeshift device, Leo cheerily called a 'goodbye' and hung up, holding his side of the can phone to his mouth. Miraculously when he spoke, you could hear his voice—albeit a little quietly.

"Look at that. Proper scientists we are," Leo commented, looking proud with himself for the success of his little experiment.

"Care to explain what sparked this thought? Seems a little random even for you."

"First of all, rude. And second of all, I had a secret I wanted to tell you and I thought this would be a fun way to do it. And before you ask, yes I did see it in an anime. No I won't tell you which one."

You couldn't help the laugh that spilled from your lips at Leo's flustered rambling. He would sometimes get like this when the two of you talked, particularly about matters of relationships or your friendship with one another. "Fair enough. So what's this secret then?"

"You have to listen close because I'm only going to whisper it once, okay? Don't look at me like that! I'm trying to be sweet and endearing here!"

"And you are succeeding. Now please tell me this secret before I perish from anticipation, Leo."

"You're cute." His whisper was barely audible across the tin can connection, though you knew you'd heard him right when you looked up to see his face was a bright shade of pink. In the time you'd known Leo he had never blushed, at least not this visibly. The can in your hand was quickly forgotten, your hands reflexively placing it down as you stood from your chair. Leo followed suit and, as though reading the other's mind, you were both quickly rushing out of your rooms to meet in the middle. It was in the spot right beneath your windows that you were wrapped up in Leo's embrace, his arms warm as they engulfed you close against his chest. The force of the two of you meeting had his signature hat falling to the floor.

"I didn't say it before but you're cuter, by the way," you uttered, leaning back slightly to admire Leo's impossibly large smile. His hold on you loosened as he leaned down to retrieve his hat, setting it on your head instead of his own and pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose before taking your hands in his.

"You're wrong, but I'll let it slide this time. Come back up to my room? It's got a great view."

♡ milo ♡

The early afternoon sun was warm on your face as you sat alone on a picnic bench with your laptop sat on the table. The library was far too warm this time of year to concentrate on anything and this class presentation needed finishing as soon as possible. And what better place to do so than outdoors in the warm summer sun? Flowers were in full bloom littering the grass around you and far off laughter of college students enjoying the bright weather provided the perfect ambient noise to work to. In the hour you'd been sat there, you'd managed to get a good portion of the presentation typed out and it was looking like you could fully finish soon so long as you didn't suffer from any distractions or interruption. Your phone was on 'do not disturb' and your focus playlist was softly playing in your headphones. In that moment you had finally achieved the perfect mood and environment to focus, something you so often struggled to find any other day.

"Excuse me? Are you busy or could you help me with something real quick?" A voice sounded from behind you, fracturing that picture perfect focus. Of course things could not go exactly according to plan. It was simply the nature of life to find a way to throw an additional difficulty into an already hard to figure out task. Turning around, you were met with a tall figure with long brown hair tied back from his face, though a few stray sections framed his neutral features. He held an expensive looking camera in hand, one that led you to believing with 90% confidence that this man was a photography student.

"Um, sure. I'm working on a presentation right now but I'll help as long as it doesn't take too much time," you offered, feeling too guilty to say no. After all, surely he wouldn't need much from you, right?

"I have to photograph someone for my class and I realise this might sound entirely insane considering we don't know each other, but do you mind if I photograph you? You wouldn't need to do anything too special. To be honest some shots of you working might be good too," he explained, eyes examining your setup and the surrounding area as though he was conjuring the perfect framing for his proposed impromptu photoshoot. He certainly seemed into the idea of having you be his model but the pull of your work was calling out to you. Sure, he said you could keep working while he took his photos but how much would you be able to concentrate while he did so?

"If you don't have the spare time that's fine, you know?"

"No it's fine! I have some time to spare. Promise this won't take too long, though?"

He chuckled, outstretching his pinky finger to you. "Pinky promise. And if I break it I'll personally help you finish your presentation." The offer was too tempting to pass up and you really didn't want to leave him without help, especially since this was for a class project of his own. Your mystery photographer introduced himself as Milo before setting down the small bag of equipment hanging from his arm. He started setting up, instructing you to continue on with your work as though he wasn't even there. It was a task far easier said than done. Despite Milo's quiet demeanour, the knowledge of his presence was just as distracting as any conversation might have been. It wasn't as though being a model for someone's class project was a usual occurrence for you. Once Milo got to work, it became apparent very quickly that he was very good at what he did. Between shots, you took fleeting glances up at him to see him entirely in his element. He would be examining each shot, eyebrows furrowed with concentration as he focused on each individual detail. Then he'd gently adjust the placement of your hand, guiding it with a surprising softness to wherever he needed it to be.

"How you doing over there? Do let me know if this is getting too long or distracting," Milo said, lowering his camera to speak to you. It had been about thirty minutes since he'd first approached you and, surprisingly, his presence hadn't ended up being as distracting as you'd initially thought. Milo wasn't one for unnecessary conversation, only offering quiet instructions to get the framing right for a shot or to check in with you. By now you were almost done with your work—a miraculous turn of events for which you were eternally grateful.

"Doing good! I'm actually about done here so you'll have my full attention soon," you replied, smiling as you finished typing your current sentence.

"Good to hear it. Once you're done, I might get a couple of you over by that tree then I should be all good here too." Milo checked something on his phone, nodding at whatever it was he saw. "Oh, and thanks for doing this, by the way. I get that you probably didn't want to be disturbed while you were working so I appreciate it."

Looking up from the screen, you saw Milo meeting your gaze with a small smile. He didn't seem to be the most physically expressive of people so that small shift in his features was surprisingly sweet to witness. "Of course! I'm glad to have been some kind of help. Although I don't feel like I've done a whole lot considering I've been sat here working for most of it."

Milo chuckled softly, nodding a little as he answered. "Perhaps. But we both got what we wanted so that's the important thing, right?"

Once you finished working on the last slide of the presentation, feeling confident that it was good as it could have been, you began to pack up your things. Milo had paused his own work for the moment, now sat opposite you and watching as you put away the laptop and notes accompanying it. Despite not speaking a word, his eyes on you felt louder than anything he'd said to you all day. He had an intensity about him that others might find intimidating and, if you hadn't just spent half an hour in his company, you might have agreed with.

"Ready?" Milo had directed you for the last couple of photos, again gently guiding your movements so that he could perfectly capture you under the sunlight and shade. It wasn't long before Milo was putting away his equipment, thanking you again for the help. It had been surprisingly fun to model for the afternoon—even if Milo was the one doing all the work in that regard. Still, his company had been nice and, admittedly, you were a little disappointed to be parting ways. Or so you thought.

"You know it's about time for food right now, don't you think?" Milo asked, glancing at the clock on his phone's lockscreen.

"You're probably right. Time for me to head home and figure out what meal I can scrape together with what little remains in my fridge." Your comment was lighthearted, poking fun at your lacking motivation to properly stock up on ingredients and cook for yourself. Cooking wasn't terrible of course, but after a long day of classes the last thing you wanted to do was stand over a hot stove and prepare all kinds of ingredients.

"Or how about I take you out to dinner? As thanks for your help. And, if you'd like, to get to know each other a little better?” Milo smirked at your widened eyes, noting your averted gaze as he continued to speak. “As more than just a photographer and his muse."

♡ rory ♡

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry."

When you got out of bed this morning, having a stranger accidentally spill their iced coffee over you was not a priority on your to-do list. And yet, here you were with a coffee stained shirt and a very embarrassed man apologising profusely for the mishap. The morning has already felt rushed enough, what with your phone alarm betraying you and leading to you getting out of bed half an hour later than planned. You still had some time to get to your lecture, but that once comfortable time frame was no longer quite so comfortable. There was just enough time to quickly grab a coffee and breakfast on the go. And this stranger's coffee had just torn a rather large hole in that plan. He seemed nice enough, but it still didn't help to quell the rising urge to unleash your frustrations in the form of tears right there in the middle of the coffee shop.

"Don't worry about it. Not your fault," you replied, hand clinging onto your phone to keep some semblance of yourself together. It really wouldn't bode well if you started breaking down in front of an already guiltstricken stranger.

"Then at least let me pay for your stuff," he spoke as he eyes landed on the drink already in your hand, purchased right before he'd spilled his. "Or I guess for a future drink."

"Seriously, it's fine. At least I only have the one morning class, right?" At the reminder of your class, you rushed to check your phone to see there were roughly ten minutes before you needed to be one campus. Which was a fifteen minute walk away. Today was certainly not your day.

Seeing your distress, your coffee spilling stranger leaned closer, concern knitting his eyebrows. "Need a lift in to campus? I can get you there in five as long as you're cool with riding on the back of a motorbike. Oh, and take this." He swiftly removed the oversized hoodie that had draped over his frame, holding it out to you. His flame red hair was tousled, stray strands falling over his eyes as he adjusted the plain white t-shirt that had risen slightly with the hoodie's movement. "Go on, it's cool. You can take it for today."

"Are you sure? It's kind of cold out. I'd feel bad."

"And I can just as easily go home and get another to wear. After we've gotten you to your class. The clock is ticking by the way so if you want to get there on time..."

Sighing, you took the hoodie from him, offering him your phone and drink to hold while you put it on. While succeeding in hiding the coffee stain, it was also perfectly warm and cosy. The stranger returned your things to you as he made for the door, holding it open for you to exit first. Right outside was his motorbike, painted black with accents of red that almost perfectly matched the shade of his hair.

"Come here," he directed, helmet in hands as he held it above your head. "Don't give me that look. I don't care if it's five minutes or fifty. You're wearing this helmet. I've already spilled coffee today and I'd like to keep to just the coffee, thanks."

Within minutes you'd sat on the back of a motorbike, arms clinging to the waist of a man you had, quite literally, just met, wearing his hoodie as he drove you onto campus. Surely if anyone you knew saw they'd suspect he was some secret boyfriend you'd been hiding away. With enflamed cheeks, you left your coffee spilling stranger, who you now knew was named Rory, and headed toward your lecture, miraculously on time. Despite being having left him, thoughts of Rory still danced on your mind. The way he'd so gently adjusted the helmet for you; the way he helped store your drink and phone for the ride in the fancy little cup holder on the front of his bike; the way he'd guided your arms around his waist when you loosely held onto the back of his shirt. Just thinking about it was enough to distract you from whatever the professor was talking about in the front of the lecture hall. Your one saving grace was the promise of the lecture slides being posted after it was over. Once the hour was up and you were freed from the suffocating warmth in the room, not made any better with the large hoodie you wore, you made a beeline to leave the university building. Your original plan had been to go and study for an upcoming exam before running some errands but after your catastrophe of a morning, studying could wait. You'd take a nice leisurely stroll into the city to get everything you needed and then head home where you could change out of the coffee shirt and into something comfy.

"Need a ride?" A familiar voice sounded from the side of the road. Rory was stood, leaning against his motorbike with his arms folded and a teasing smirk on his face. He was wearing a new hoodie and he toyed with the helmet in his hands, glancing between it and your surprised expression. "Figured you might want a short ride back home after earlier. And it's only fair of me to offer my services."

"You really didn't have to. Besides, I have some errands I need to run anyway."

"Then we can go together. Consider me your personal chauffeur for the day. Just don't expect this every day, alright?" Rory had closed the distance between you both, sliding the helmet onto your head once more.

"Seems like an awful lot to do for someone you just met. Even if you did spill coffee on them."

Rory grimaced, a hint of pink blooming on his cheeks as he finished securing your helmet. Clearing his throat, he turned to mount the bike and feigned boredom as you remained in place. "Are you coming or what? I don't have all day."

"Oh? And what happened to being my personal chauffeur for the day?"

"Just get on the damn bike. Idiot."

You climbed on the back of the bike, laughing at Rory's attitude. "Have you always been this mean?"

"Only to people who inconvenience me." He set the engine running, the muscles in his stomach twitching when you wrapped your arms around him, your earlier apprehension having disappeared entirely now that Rory's own grumpy attitude was starting to make itself known.

"Funny. I don't remember asking you to do this for me. In fact, you even insisted. If my memory is correct, that is."

Rory scoffed as the bike roared into motion. The rush of cool air made you grateful to have Rory's body shielding you from the brunt of it, though you instinctively burrowed into his shoulder as the wind hit your face. "I will push you off this bike and leave you."

"Oh so you're not denying that you insisted? How cute." It was hard to see Rory's face from your position behind him, but his light skin gave away the rising blush spreading across his face. The sight was sobering, making you suddenly very aware of where you were sat and who you were sat with. Somehow Rory felt like someone you'd known for months, maybe even years. And there was something about the way he teased, that push-and-pull, that had you thinking that maybe this was something more than just a kind gesture from the person who spilled their coffee over you. And, unbeknownst to you, Rory was thinking the exact same thing. He couldn't really explain his thought process. Or that the reason he'd spilled his coffee in the first place was because he took one look at you and suddenly forgot how to breathe. There was no way he could explain any of it, even to himself. But he didn't care if he understood it or not—all he knew was that he was interested and that he was determined to earn your interest too. Though he suspected he might already have it, and he was right.

♡ alexei ♡

Every new semester brought new people, new classes, new schedules. It served as a nice change of pace, though also meant having to adjust to all the new differences right after you'd just gotten accustomed to the previous semester schedule. Still, as you took up a seat in the science lab, there was a faint sense of excitement to see your new lab partner again. His name was Alexei and you'd shared a class with him in the previous semester but had never gotten the chance to speak to him. He tended to keep to himself rather than embedding himself in the wild socialising of college students. That wasn't to say that he was a complete recluse, of course, nor was he rude. He simply wanted to attend class, maintain a good grade, and go home. Despite not having spoken to him, the few occasions you'd glanced his way to find his eyes on yours had your stomach doing somersaults. It was enough to convince you to keep away until you could manage a conversation with him without feeling your heartbeat in your throat from how nervous he made you just with that mildly intense gaze. He always had an inquisitive look about him that felt as though he were analysing every part of you both visible and invisible.

This semester, however, you had been assigned as his lab partner which meant there was no tactical avoiding to be done. You were forced to face him, and your feelings, head on while also ensuring you looked and behaved like a normal human being. The first class had been more of an introduction to the semester plan so neither of you said much to the other outside of a small greeting when you took your seat next to him. But today would be the first chance for you to finally get to know Alexei as more than just 'the mysteriously smart guy in your class'. You hoped he would make for the perfect lab partner; there was truly nothing worse than being forced into working with someone who dumped all the responsibility on you without a care in the world. Though it became steadily apparent that Alexei was not such a partner. From the moment he sat down, textbook on the desk and a fresh notebook for the semester in his hands, Alexei regarded you with that same intense focus. Just as you'd been about to broach the conversation, the professor raised their voice to begin the class.

As the class went on, you scribbled down notes as fast as you fingers would allow, hanging on to every word that your professor spoke, including the frequent group assignments to be worked on alongside lab partners. The mention of partners had you reflexively glancing at Alexei for a split second. Your heart almost skipped a beat seeing a slight flicker of movement in his own eyes. Had he already been looking at you? Had he just looked away to hide it? Or was it simply your hopeful nature looking for a sign that wasn't there? It wouldn't help to dwell on the thought for too long so you continued to note down every matter of importance from the class lecture. The class passed by in the usual fast-paced blue that always manifested at the start of each semester. Bright-eyed students still holding some semblance of sanity before the real struggle kicked in and the collective mood dropped significantly. As you began to pack away your things, a soft voice spoke up from beside you.

"Are you free after this, by any chance?" Alexei's eyes were fixed on yours, that same familiar intensity in the strength of his gaze. This seemed to be normal for him, to regard anyone he spoke to with undivided attention. Once you got used to it, the mannerism was actually rather cute.

"Oh. Uh, yeah I should be. Did you need something?"

Alexei's eyes widened a little, his hands moving a tad frantically as though he might have imposed or overstepped some boundary in expecting help. "No, no. It's nothing important. I was just wondering if you wanted to—if you maybe wanted to go study together? It's totally fine if you can't! Or if you don't want to! It's just that I've not had a lab partner who actually did any work so I got a little excited and—"

"Alexei. Breathe. I'd love to go study with you. I was thinking the same thing actually."

Alexei took a moment to register your acceptance, seemingly expecting a refusal or some half-assed excuse as to why you couldn't go along. His expression soon shifted into a warm smile, his eyes crinkling in the creases as he led the way out. Along the way, Alexei asked, somewhat nervously, if it was okay for the two of you to go to either his apartment or yours to study. He explained how he can't focus in the library with all the noise of students talking and that he needs to be somewhere quiet so he can actually focus. Despite how apprehensive you'd been to speak to Alexei before, it quickly became apparent that he was nowhere near as intimidating as the version of him you'd concocted in your mind. It helped to ease some of the nerves that had fluttered in your stomach earlier that morning during your commute to campus. Since Alexei's apartment was closer, that had been where the two of you ended up. And now you were sat in his room, legs crossed on his bed with all your notes splayed out in front of you, Alexei doing the same. The study session had been going well, though the conversation tended to drift away to questions of 'what other classes are you taking?' or 'oh did you check out that new bar that opened up just off campus?' Things between the two of you just seemed to click. You shared similar interests, studied similar majors, and generally had pretty similar personalities. Alexei was just easy to get along with and not to mention incredibly smart; having him for a lab partner was definitely going to pay off in more than one way.

Hours drifted by and before you knew it, the sun was starting to set. It hadn't been until the sun was low enough to shine directly in your eyes that you realised exactly how long you'd stayed. Grabbing your phone to check the time only exasperated that hurried feeling that maybe you'd overstayed your welcome.

"It's getting kind of late so I should probably get going. Thank you for the studying though! I had a good time, even if we did end up getting a little sidetracked..." You laughed nervously, eyes averted away from Alexei.

"Hm? Oh. I didn't realise it was this late," Alexei murmured, clearly having the same sobering realisation that the two of you had spent so much time together after having officially met earlier that same day. "Thanks for coming over. I had fun." When you finally felt able to look at Alexei again, you were met with a gentle smile as he helped to collect all of your notes together.

"I'll see you in class tomorrow?"

Alexei nodded, the movement stiff as he followed you to the front door of his apartment. He seemed to be contemplating something, though you couldn't tell what. It wasn't until Alexei began to move closer and press the softest of kisses to your cheek that you realised why he was so uncertain. Heat spread throughout your cheeks, the only sensation you could feel aside from that lingering whisper of Alexei's touch.

"See you tomorrow."

♡ brooklyn ♡

A low buzz consumed the university library, white noise that felt far more comfortable than pure silence when sat at a computer trying to finish an assignment due for later that day. You didn't envy the students fuelled by their third energy drink of the day, clearly pushing through after pulling an all-nighter to finish the work they'd thought still had a week left to complete. Thankfully, your own studying was much calmer. You were sat alone at a small two-person table with books you were using as references piled beside the notebook you were scribbling any and all coherent thoughts that could prove useful. There was still ample time so you were not yet in need of your own caffeine induced rush. With headphones in and a study playlist quietly playing, you could leisurely flick through pages and note down key points of analysis for your future self. And, for later on, you had a snack or two stowed away as a little motivation. It was the ideal setup to make sure you actually stayed focused while you were there. That was, it had been an ideal environment until an unexpected guest asked to join you at your table.

"Spare seat for your favourite classmate?" Brooklyn asked, hand already dancing on the back of the chair opposite you. You'd met Brooklyn rather early on during your university studies. He'd been in your first class sitting right next to you and had clearly decided that by now the two of you were friendly enough to talk outside of class—a sentiment that you did not agree with. He wasn't an awful person by any means. It was just that the two of you didn't have a whole lot in common and you found him to be somewhat of a nuisance during classes together. He was the type of student to be so objectively perfect that it was annoying. He always had the exact copy of a text, always knew the assignment schedule, and would happily ask the professor to go into further detail toward the end of a two hour lecture meaning you would get home almost an hour later than you usually did. The professors all loved him, of course. After all how could they not love someone who embodied the definition of a model student. But, for you, he was a physical reminder of all the things you were not. All that you found difficult or tiring came easy to him and it left your ego feeling a little sore with every conversation you had with him. That said, you also couldn't bring yourself to turn him away when the library was as busy as it was.

"Go for it. Not that you're a favourite, mind you."

Brooklyn laughed as he took up the seat across from you, a large book heavily landing on the table. "So quick to correct me I might begin to take offence."

"Well if your conversation is as dire as your taste in literature then I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you."

"You wound me," he proclaimed, one hand on his chest and the other resting on the far-too-big copy of Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy as though it were a precious child of his. Although considering the fact that you'd never seen him without a sizable novel in hand, he probably did regard it with such reverance. You could empathise with his passion for literature, including the classics he always seemed to carry, but where Brooklyn always seemed to be buried nose deep into something philosophical or wickedly gothic, you preferred some of the lighter reads. Tales of romance and adventure were far more interesting and compelling than eight hundred pages of deep evaluations of the human psyche, expecially when it was late evening and you were looking for something easy to digest after a long day of classes.

"If my reading is dire then do enlighten me as to what might improve it."

"What? Trying to impress me, or something?" You quipped, pen now abandoned along with all hopes of being productive for the afternoon.

"So what if I am? Does that bother you?" Brooklyn's face was intense, eyes holding yours captive in a way that you hadn't felt before. No matter how much you might have wanted to, you couldn't look away from the depths of those amber eyes.

"No. I suppose it doesn't," you managed to whisper out. It was a miracle that Brooklyn had been able to hear. Although his eyes did flicker to watch each movement of your lips so he likely made the most of the visual aid.

"Then please, go ahead and indulge me as to your own, evidently superior, taste." Brooklyn leaned back in his chair, one arm folded across his chest and the other held atop it, his long fingers resting on his chin as his forefinger lightly tapped the spot of skin where his upper lip met his cheek. It took a moment to focus again, having to clench your fists as a physical reminder of where you were and what he'd asked of you.

"Well, for starters, would it kill you to reach something a little more adventurous, would it?"

"Hm? Do elaborate."

"You're always carrying around some classic that's about high society or a far-too-detailed account of some painfully boring political scape. Surely even you want to read something with a little magic or romance in it?"

Brooklyn nodded, barely hiding the smirk that tugged at the corner of his lips. "Oh, of course. But I didn't realise you paid so much attention to me to notice. It's rather endearing." He adjusted in his seat, leaning forward with both elbows on the table now. He was so close that if you leaned in you'd be able to see the intricacies of the colours that swirled in his irises. Such an inviting shade that it almost did lure you in—until you remembered exactly where you were, anyway.

"But I can assure you, I have indulged in plenty of romances. Care for me to show you exactly what I've learned?"

♡ tobias ♡

For any student, deadlines and due dates were the causes of insurmountable amounts of stress. Usually it always managed to work itself out but this time around, luck did not seem to be on your side. For most other classes all you needed to do was upload a file and subsequently forget all the stress that had once accompanied it. No, this one assignment required to be handed in to your professor and it just so happened that the moment you stepped out of your home, rain began to pour. It had only been a light shower so you'd decided to just brave the short walk onto campus. After all, the paper was safely stowed away in your bag and safe from the downpour. That was until it got heavier and heavier by the minute. And now, here you were, stood in the shelter of a bus stop as the rain continued to pour. Every few minutes you pulled out your phone to check the time, silently praying the time would miraculously pause until the rain lightened. Fate, however, was not that kind. Instead of granting you the kindness of clear skies, fate handed you a companion to bask in your bad luck with. The person who approached had clearly been in the rain for a while, his blonde hair damp and clinging to his forehead as he finally joined you in your shelter.

"Hi." His greeting was a little breathless, having rushed to get out of the rain. He carried with him a tote bag that he dumped unceremoniously on the ground as he pushed his wet hair back and out of his eyes. Taking a quick glance at the contents that peeked out, you saw a familiar looking essay title.

"On the last minute essay run, too?" You ask, eyeing the paper in his bag.

"Sadly. At least I was before all this rain started." One look beyond the borders of the bus stop was all you needed to know the two of you were going to be stuck here for a while. The sky was a darkened grey, the clouds knitted together so tightly the sun was merely a dull shine beyond them. The rain was hammering against the roof of the bus stop, a sound that you'd usually revel in when you were safely tucked away in your bedroom and without an assignment deadline steadily creeping closer. But if there were to be a silver lining to those rain clouds it was your new companion. He had moved closer, leaning against the back wall of the bus stop with his head tipped back.

"How long before we can brave it, do you think?"

"Hm, the optimist in me says not much longer but the realist says we're stuck here for foreseeable future. My only saving grace is I've got two hours before this assignment needs to be on the professor's desk."

His attention shifted to you, grimacing. "Why do they even need a copy when the internet exists?" The question was rhetorical, a frustrated reprimand of the professor who favoured a more traditional approach for their assignment submissions. On any other day it would be a mere inconvenience, but today it felt like a personal slight against their students.

You companion let out a sigh and stuck out his hand to shake yours in greeting. "The name's Tobias. Since we're going to be here a while." You offered up your own name, accepting his hand with slight bewilderment at his energy. Tobias sprang into conversation, rambling about another class as though the two of you were close friends and not two random strangers stuck together as a result of the bad weather. But you didn't hate it. In fact, you rather loved getting the chance to talk about nothing and everything with him. He had this energy you couldn't quite put a name to that rolled off him in waves, making you feel on the same relaxed wavelength he seemed to be on. It wasn't long before the impending deadline of your assignment was a distant flash of anxiety. With Tobias at your side, telling you about some exciting escapade he'd had last weekend with his roommate, you could momentarily forget that worry. Something about Tobias' demeanour set you at ease, and there was no ignoring the growing concern that you might not see him again once the rain subsided. A part of you ached to stay and linger, despite only having known him a short while.

As if sensing your desire to remain in Tobias' warm presence, the once hammering rain started to lighten. It disappeared as quickly as it had started; one moment everything was a murky, dull grey and the next the clouds were beginning to part so that the sunlight could sparkle in the reflections of puddles on the road. Wistful, you reached for your bag, noticing Tobias doing the same.

"Walk together? Since we're headed to the same place anyway," Tobias spoke, offering a hand for you to take. A silent nod of acceptance and your hand was in his. You'd expected him to let go as soon as you were out of the bus stop's shelter but Tobias's grip was warm in yours, his arm swinging ever so slightly with each step. He was happily chatting away as the both of you reached campus, hands still interlocked. Right until the moment you each needed to enter the professor's office to hand in the assignment, Tobias' hand didn't once leave yours. Neither of you addressed the unusual familiarity that manifested in the constant touch. Mostly because you didn't know how to. And also because you didn't want him to worry that you might dislike his forwardness.

After Tobias exited the professor's office, he offered up his arm in reunion. Upon seeing your confused look, he clarified. "What? Did you think I was about to ditch you after all that? Nah, I wanted to take you out for coffee. If you're free, that is?" Suddenly Tobias' relaxed nature fell away, leaving frantic worry in it's place that perhaps he misread the situation. "Sorry, it's fine if you don't want to—"

"No, no I do! I was just a little surprised, is all."

Tobias grinned as he offered his arm again, smile turning almost smug as you accepted the gesture. "Well you better get used to it, then." He winked, chuckling at the flush spreading over your cheeks. "Because, permission granted, I don't intend on letting you disappear on me."

#infinite blue #infinite blue x reader #infinite blue fanfic #infinite blue rory #infinite blue leo #infinite blue milo #infinite blue alexei #infinite blue brooklyn #infinite blue tobias #no matter where the au and brainrot takes us #it always comes back to the college au #cries why does it hit so good #anyway one day i will write something that isn't au #who knows when that day will be?? certainly not me LMAO #anyway if u know the tin can phone reference in leo's u are incredibly based and we should be friends #mars writes

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