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honeyypotato · 2 years

Note

Hi Me again🙂 So I would like Y/n to be a female, and yes I want cute and fluffiness to be added

Hello friend!

Thank you for getting back to me about this, I just wanted to make sure I was writing it the way u wanted :)

I hope you like it! 💕

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Melting

Reiner x Bertholdt x fem!reader

Word count: 2,348

Tags: fluff, poly relationship, pre-established relationship

Warnings: none :)

AN:

The image of Reiner walking aimlessly around the grocery store with a ginormous box of freezes is sending me akjhsfkljsdhf

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It was the third day of the predicted heat wave, and you weren’t sure you’d be able to bear it for much longer. It didn’t matter how cold you cranked the air conditioning in the apartment you shared with Bertholdt and Reiner, it still felt like it was at least a hundred degrees inside.

It wasn’t helping that Reiner was very vocal about his discomfort, and the man was practically drenched in sweat. You’d feel bad for him if he didn’t continue to try and hug both you and Bert, constantly, as you all were splayed out in various spots around the main living space of your apartment.

“Reinerrrr, get off me!”

He’d just come back from sticking his face in one of the box fans you’d set up around the living room, and managed to flop down on top of where you were splayed out across the couch.

“Aww, then where am I supposed to lay down? Bert’s taken up the whole countertop, and the chair’s too fuzzy and warm,” he mumbles into the crook of your neck as he gestures to the armchair, covered in a mildly fuzzy fabric.

“You can go in the corner.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s cooler. Only ninety degrees.”

Bertholdt throws a grape at you from his spot on the granite countertop, which hits you in the face. He’s capitalizing on the bag of fruit that Reiner had left out at lunch. The counter was arguably the coldest spot in the apartment, but he’d been hogging it since he came back from work.

“Bert!” You yelp.

Reiner had shuffled over to the corner of the living room. “Hey, uh, I don’t feel a difference over here. Are you sure it’s cooler?”

A grape hits him in the face as well. “Hey!”

“Dummy, she was making a joke. A very bad one.” Bert glares over at you as you burst out laughing, and Reiner groans as the realization hits him. “C’mon, I need to go grocery shopping. We ran out of tomato sauce, and I was gonna make pasta for dinner.”

You shriek when Reiner practically tackles you in retaliation. “Do we have to go with you?” He asks over your laughter.

“Well…the store is air conditioned. And maybe they’ll let you stick your head in one of the freezers if you promise not to sweat all over the food,” Bert reasons. You prepare yourself to defend him, remembering he doesn’t really like going shopping by himself.

But Reiner just shrugs, mumbling “Eh, sounds fair.” Without warning, he scoops you off the couch, throwing you onto his shoulder. “Let’s go, you.”

Wiggling your bare feet in front of his face, you whine, “Rei! I have to put shoes on, or else they won’t let me in the store!”

At your protests, he puts you down, but the prospect of sticking his head in a freezer has him swiftly grabbing his keys and braving the outdoor heat to start his car. As you slip your shoes on, you look up at Bert, who reaches for one of his baseball hats before squeezing you to him by the waist for a heartbeat.

“Ugh, at least you’re less sweaty than Reiner, the poor guy probably feels awful.” You murmur as he leans down to kiss the top of your head.

“Thank you for coming with me, you know I hate shopping alone.”

You reach up to press a hand to his cheek with a soft smile. “Hey, anytime.”

A moment later, you’re climbing in Reiner’s car, which still hasn’t cooled off completely. After some lighthearted bickering, Bertholdt climbs into the passenger seat. You have an agreement to lessen the severity of passenger seat envy between you three: whoever is in the passenger seat on the way to a place has to sit in the back seat on the way home. Sure, it hasn’t stopped all arguments about car seating arrangements, but Reiner threatened to make you both sit in the back after a particularly bad disagreement. Since he usually drives, you and Bert agreed to a truce.

Despite this, you shove your face into the space between the two front seats, closing your eyes and letting the cold air from the vents hit your face.

“Ahem.”

You blink your eyes open to Reiner staring at you, one eyebrow raised.

“Whaat?”

“You know the rules.” He murmurs, pressing his forehead against yours. By the “rules”, he means everyone has to be seated properly, with their seatbelt on, before the car moves anywhere. He’s oddly particular about that, but you don’t blame him for wanting to be safe. He loves you both, he doesn’t want to see either of you hurt.

“Mmm,” was all of the response he got from you. But, he also got your hand pressing into his cheek, pulling him in for a kiss. He sinks into your mouth for a moment before you pull away, sliding back into your seat and clicking the belt in place.

Reiner exchanges a soft glance with Bert before shifting the car into gear; your affection wasn’t something that either of them could get enough of.

The drive to the store was arguably less agonizing, since the car’s air conditioning was efficient, and you almost didn’t want to make the walk into the store. You didn’t regret a thing the minute you were inside though, the cool air of the grocery store hitting your face and melting all of your thoughts about the weather.

Reiner nearly falls to the floor when the cold air hits him, ever the dramatic guy. “Oh man, that is good.”

Laughing at his reaction, you pat him on the shoulder, and Bert ruffles his hair before grabbing a shopping cart. The two of you stand there for a moment, Bert off to the side checking his list to refresh his mind, until you noticed the other people entering the store were shooting looks at you and Reiner; you were standing in the middle of the entrance.

Bert raises an eyebrow at the two of you, and Reiner runs a hand through his hair sheepishly before announcing “Well, I’m gonna go stick my head in one of the freezers,” and marches off in the direction of the frozen food aisle.

You smile at Bert before slipping your hand in his for a moment, leaning against his arm and peering at his shopping list. “Alright Bert, let’s do this.”

He smiles down at you as you pull off of him, and the two of you begin to make your way through the aisles, grabbing everything on his list and then a couple things that weren’t, a product of food shopping while hungry.

After a short while, you and Bert stand in front of the last aisle of the store idly. You’d completely lost Reiner, despite your efforts to walk through the entire store twice. You were just bringing your phone up to your ear for the third time when the blond walks up to you, struggling with the largest box of freezes you’ve ever seen.

“R-Reiner? What are you doing? We’ve looked everywhere for you!” Bert’s face twists with concern as the man sets the box on the ground in front of the two of you.

Reiner grins at you both. “Whaat? They’re ice pops!” His expression falters. “ …Oh, that’s my phone ringing, isn’t it?” His eyes fall on you, still holding the phone up to your ear for dramatic effect, as he reaches for the phone in his pocket.

“You mean…popsicles?” Bert teases, giggling.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, they’re freezes.” You look at both of the men incredulously, and Reiner laughs, rolling his eyes.

“Well, whatever they are, they’re yummy, and cold.”

“They’re popsicles,” Bert whispers.

You smirk at him. “Freezes.”

Bert scoffs in response, but doesn’t continue, so you resolve that you won that debate. “There’s five hundred of them in that box, Rei. We can’t fit all of them in the freezer.”

“Bert, I’ll bet you a hundred bucks that he’ll eat them all before dinner. I say, as long as he can carry it back to the car, we can get them.”

“Y/n, this is not the first time we’ve been through this, I am not placing bets on Reiner’s actions again.”

As he talks, Reiner walks up to Bert, wrapping his arms around the man’s torso, and giving him his best attempt at puppy eyes.

“That’s because I always win.” You grin at Bert, who’s trying very hard to not be persuaded by just how sad Reiner looks.

You move close to Reiner and press your hands to his cheeks, intensifying his expression. “Awww, Bert, c’mon, you’re gonna make Reiner upset, just look at the poor guy.”

Bertholdt wraps his arms around his partners in defeat. “Alright, alright, you win. C’mon, let’s get home before our only option for dinner becomes…freezes.”

“Yes!” You and Reiner cheer, and he somehow manages to pick up the box of freezes.

The three of you manage to make it home with only mild looks of concern from the cashier, and without dropping the very large box. But not even thirty minutes later, you all stood in front of your completely packed freezer, having only unloaded half of the box of freezes.

Bert walks up behind Reiner, resting his chin on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Reiner, I told you, it’s not gonna fit.”

“Hmm, we didn’t eat enough on the way home, then.” You grumble playfully.

“Wait! I have an idea.” Reiner wraps an arm around Bert, giving him a small squeeze before hurrying off to his room.

Before you and Bertholdt can exchange confused glances for too long, he’s back with the cooler you bring on beach trips.

“We’ll just put all the ice packs we’ve got in here, and then the rest of the freezes will stay cold!” He beams.

“That sounds like a solid plan to me.” You shrug, looking up at Bert for any sign of disapproval from him, but you don’t find any.

“Alright, whatever works, but I’m gonna start on dinner.” He wraps an arm around Reiner, pulling him closer to plant a kiss on his cheek. “Try and save the freezes for afterwards,” he murmurs. Reiner tilts his face towards him in response with a soft smile, lips pressing into his, before turning back to loading the cooler with more freezes.

“Hey, Reiner, we should put the cooler in the living room, so we can just sit on the couch and eat the ones in here first.” You look up at your boyfriend, who grins.

“Aw, hell yeah, that’s a great idea!” He begins dragging the cooler into the other room as you fold the box the freezes came in, putting it in the recycling bin.

“Hey Bert, need any help with dinner, or should I make sure Reiner doesn’t eat all the freezes?” You murmur to him, raising an eyebrow as he slowly takes a bite of one of them that he’d grabbed out of the freezer.

“I’m all good here, but why don’t you set up to watch a movie or something where we’re not moving around and sweating so much, we can start it during dinner if you’d like.”

You nod, “I like that idea, I’ll get Reiner to help.”

Pacing over to the living room, you find Reiner moving around couch cushions and pillows.

“Reiner, what are you doing?”

“Making a blanket fort to hide from the heat, have you seen those things where you stick the fan under the sheets on a bed and the air makes a little tent?”

“Um, I think so?”

“Yeah, we’re gonna do it but bigger.” He tosses a pillow at you, a little fast, and it hits you in the face before you sputter and catch it.

“Ack—hey!” You readjust after receiving a pillow to the face. “Okay, tell me your plan.”

Twenty minutes and fifteen and a half freezes later, you and Reiner had draped an extra set of bedsheets over the major furniture in your living room, covering the floor with blankets and pillows. You’d informed Reiner of Bert’s plan to watch a movie, so you made sure the sheets weren’t obscuring your vision of the TV. By the time Bert walked in with dinner, you were sprawled across Reiner’s chest, the two of you laying on the floor of the living room on a pile of pillows. You were in the direct line of three different fans, the cool air blowing wisps of your hair every which way.

“Are you guys okay? Dinner’s done.”

Reiner raises his head to smile at him. “Yeah, we’re chilling.”

You punch him lightly for the joke, and he laughs as Bert rolls his eyes. Hunger gets the better of you, so you climb off Reiner, and finally the three of you squeeze together under the blanket fort as you settle down to watch the movie.

About halfway through the movie, you doze off, curled in between Bertholdt and Reiner. Your head rests against Reiner’s chest, his arm around your shoulders as you all lean against the base of the couch, while one of your legs is hooked over Bert’s. Reiner’s hand that’s around your shoulders finds its way into Bert’s hair, and before Bert dozes off Reiner nudges him to lay down, managing to only wake you halfway as he pulls you further onto his chest. The three of you curl against each other, sinking into the pillows and blankets littering the floor of your living room.

It’s cool enough in the room now that the warmth of each other is welcome. Bert’s hand finds its way just under the hem of Reiner’s shirt as he drapes his arm across both of you. Just before he falls asleep, Reiner manages to press a goodnight kiss to both yours and Bert’s foreheads, something that had become a habit since you’d first started dating. You knew you’d wake up to another day of unbearable summer heat, but for now you’d all enjoy the comfort of the people you love.

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#ahsjklfh the bad jokes just had to go in I'm sorry #the opportunity was right there #honey writes #reiner x bertholdt x y/n #reiner braun #attack on titan #reiner x y/n #shingeki no kyojin #aot #reiner braun x reader #bertholdt hoover #bertholdt fluff #aot bertholdt #bertholdt x you #fluff #aot fanfiction #reiner x you #bertholdt x y/n

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inkykeiji · 3 years

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hello, bby💞💞 i absolutely ADORE everything u write, ur insanely talented!! I wanted to ask, you’ve mentioned several pieces of art, precisely songs and films, that have inspired ur work; could u give us some music and movie recommendations that have similar vibe to some of ur fics??? Thank u in advance, I hope u have an incredible day/evening, lysm💓💞💖

THIS QUESTION OOOOOOOH YES ANON YES okay okay first of all, thank you so much!!!! i appreciate that a lot <333 YES i love film so much hehehe <3 my music recommendations are pretty much the same as they always are. the films i’m recommending here; i’m not exactly sure if they have a similar vibe to my fics as i’ve found it difficult to find many films that fit that criteria, but here’s a nice huge list of films that have influenced my main series’, and how!!

beware!! very long post under the cut hehehe AND POTENTIAL SPOILERS FOR BMB IF YOU KNOW THE FILMS HEHEHEHEHE

𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬

the godfather, part 1 + part 2

AAAAAAAAH okay, literally one of my favourite films of all time, the godfather (+ the godfather pt 2) is a fucking masterpiece. tomura’s close relationship with his father was both inspired by bnha itself as well as michael corleone’s relationship with his father, vito. michael is the golden child even though he’s the youngest, and i love love love how cold and ruthless he can be!!! he’s also super smart.

goodfellas

listen. if henry hill from goodfellas and michael corleone from the godfather had a baby, it would be tomura. he’s slightly more henry than he is michael, but his characterization pulls from both of these characters!! henry is fun, he’s reckless, he’s young, he feels like a god and he loves cocaine. henry also becomes very paranoid, a path with tomura is currently speeding down (albeit much more intensely, with legitimate mental health issues, but you get it). i also love the subtle ‘mafia princess’ trope goodfellas has going on with henry’s wife, karen (that scene where she says she’s going shopping and asks him for money, and he takes out that massive wad of cash?????? brilliant, one of my faves hehehe). henry also has some difficulty dealing with his emotions!!

narcos season 1 + 2

k, i can’t say too much about how this incredible show inspired bmb; i kind of feel like listing it is already giving away too much hehehe BUT i love the pure POWER pablo exudes, and i love his relationship with his wife and how family oriented he is.

scarface (both the original 1932 version and the 1983 version)

WOOOOOOOOOO OKAY. for the 1983 film: cocaine my friends. cocaine and violence and toxic relationships!!!!!!! i kind of love elvira hancock more than anything else; she’s so glamorous and fun and just aaaaah she’s definitely not as ‘baby’ or ‘good girl’ as bmb!reader is, but her sheer class and cute dresses and just how SPOILED she is reminds me a lot of bmb! for both 1932 + 1983: tony’s relationship with his sister, gina (which tbh borders on incest). gina’s another one of those ‘mafia princess’ types, and tony is extremely overprotective of her and spoils her like mad, too. she’s also fits that ‘good girl’ archetype a lot more!!

reservoir dogs

purely the violence. the violence the violence the violence, the crude and crass way the men talk to each other, and the fact that they’re like a lil organized crime group put together by a boss. i am IN LOVE (IN LOVEEEEEEEE) with mr blonde (aka vic vega <333). mr blonde’s extreme sadism reminds me quite a bit of both dabi and tomura, and he’s even referenced in the lil torture piece i wrote!! also, you literally cannot tell me that vic wouldn’t spoil the absolute HELL out of his good lil princess if he had one <3

(not a film, but!!!!!) hamlet

break my bones is very very very loosely based on hamlet (which is my favourite story of all time. literally. i love hamlet so much i can’t even put it into words); with tomura as hamlet, dabi as a mixture of horatio and laertes, and reader as ophelia. hamlet, my precious baby, is a spoiled fucking brat, who loved his father and was loved by his father. he’s also very intelligent, but falls prey to his indecisiveness and his inability to make decisions, in addition to the rapid decay of his mental health. that’s all i’ll say hehehe

baby driver

the relationship between baby + debora reminds me of the relationship between dabi and reader a lot <333 i also just love the aesthetic of this film, and the undercurrents of organized crime!!

the shining

just a teeny tiny bit; i cannot say anything about this or i think it’ll give something away!!!!!

burning

trios!!!!! trios!!!!!!!!!!!!and the relationship dynamic between jong-su, hae-mi and ben??????? absolutely incredible and reminds me quite a bit of the dynamic between tomura, dabi + reader!!

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐀𝐔 (𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐞) + 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐲𝐚-𝐧𝐢𝐢

i’m grouping these two together, because a lot of their influences overlap in terms of dabi + reader’s relationship!!! (i’m pretty sure we can all agree that touya-nii is so fucking Daddy, too <3)

true romance

i fucking love this movie, so so so much. i’d go as far to say that clarence and alabama’s relationship has without a doubt inspired or influenced every single romantic relationship i’ve written in at least some way, shape, or form. i LOVE them. i love their co-dependency on each other, i love their whole ‘it’s you and me against the world’ vibe, and i love how far they’re willing to go for each other. also, again, organized crime (no surprise), and alabama is just the cutest fucking thing i swear to god. that scene of her + virgil in the hotel room will forever be one of my absolute FAVOURITE scenes in cinematic history. i would die for this woman i love her more than anything. she’s so cute yet so strong, so brave, so IN LOVE, and aaaah that is just one of my favourite characteristics ever ever ever. i love women who are soft and strong at the same time, even if that strength isn’t physical.

sid and nancy

hello to one of the most famous toxic relationships ever!!! honestly, i don’t think i have to explain this one much LMAO. obviously my readers aren’t as hardcore as nancy and almost always fall into the ‘innocent good girl’ category, but their RELATIONSHIP itself reminds me quite a bit of the relationship between touya-nii and his princess <3

bonnie and clyde (1967)

ahahaha yet again, another very toxic, very co-dependent type of love. like clarence and alabama, i love how these two are literally willing to die for each other—they’d go straight to the ends of the earth for one another, no questions asked. this type of love is extremely unhealthy, obviously, but it’s something i am extremely fascinated with and love exploring in my work! also, that whole ‘fuck the world let’s commit crimes together’????? very tag you’re it dabi x reader!!!

pulp fiction

more specifically, the relationship between mia and vincent. the sexual tension there is fucking crazy, and i love how mia is yet again one of those ‘mafia princess’ types. really, this film applies to bmb as well, but i’m putting it here because the way vincent gets so so SO soft for mia reminds me of the way touya-nii and dabi in these two series in particular get soft for their readers. also, to a lesser extent, the relationship between butch and fabienne. i know a lot of people don’t like fabienne and get annoyed with her, but i think she’s just the cutest thing and i heavily relate to her and her babie/crybaby nature <3 and of course, the relationship between pumpkin and honeybunny (for tag you’re it especially!) <33

breathless (a bout de souffle)

there’s just something about michel that reminds me of touya-nii SO much. i think it’s a combination of his attitude as well as his petty life of crime, and the way patricia hides him in her apartment...i don’t know, it’s difficult for me to put into words, but i love him a lot <3

𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤

the joker + harley quinn: i feel like this is so obvious LMAO but i’m obsessed with the idea of that all consuming voracious love that borders on serious obsession. extremely possessive socio/psychopath and his dumb lil baby????? yes <3 (**i also wanna make a note to say that harley isn’t dumb AT ALL, but J will often insult her in such a way, and sometimes the men who write her portray her as such as well >.> but harley is one of my favourite female characters ever. i LOVE how girly and fun she is while still being extremely strong and (sometimes, depending on the version) independent. she isn’t without flaws, and i love how her mr j is basically her kryptonite <3)

speaking of batman, bruce wayne: what can i say, i just love spoiled rich men who have serious issues dealing with their emotions and walk the line of good and evil <33333

anakin skywalker/darth vader: listen, anakin was seriously slighted by those prequel films. but underneath all of that bad writing, at his core, anakin is a fantastic character. he is SO strongly governed by his emotions and is extremely selfish, and his love for his wife and family is ultimately what leads him down the path to the dark side <3 his emotionally charged motivations remind me a lot of CANON dabi!!!

thelma and louise: i just love their relationship, like, a lot hehehe. their relationship and the ending of this film reminds me a lot of my snowman & me; just yet again that whole ‘it’s you and me or it’s death’ type thing.

the darjeeling limited: it should be obvious at this point that i love trios, and i love complex characters and the relationships that come along with them. the relationship between the whitman brothers, the dysfunctional family, the truama and sadness...i love it all. this film is absolutely beautiful and really doesn’t connect much to my work other than the character dynamics, but i love it so dearly.

mad men: again, those misogynistic toxic relationships and the dependency betty has on don for the first few seasons!! also my god, the aesthetic, i am obsessed.

twin peaks: this hasn’t shown up too much in the work i’ve posted on my blog just yet, but i’m head over heels in love with the dreamy unsettling feeling that saturates this entire series, as well as the drugs and crime. also dale is my baby, protect him with everything <3

blade runner (both films): for city aesthetic

suckerpunch: an absolutely awful film but also one of my guilty pleasures, purely because i love babydoll so so so so so much <33 again, more for aesthetic than story.

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂

honestly, my music recommendations are exactly the same as they are in this post right here. lana del rey, lil peep, chase atlantic + the neighbourhood are the four that i’d say influence my work the most tho, and have the most similar vibe to my stuff!! also, nicole dollanganger is an incredible artist and lyricist, and i’ve been told more than once that my work and her work are quite similar (which i agree!!!). her stuff is hauntingly beautiful, but i have a lot of difficulty listening to it because it hits a little too close to home and makes me cry literally every single time. so please be wary of that, i’m giving a general trigger warning for her because she can get quite dark. but her work is absolutely fantastic, i highly recommend as long as you feel that you can handle it!!! <33

AAAAAH I KNOW I’M MISSING LIKE A MILLION THINGS I SWEAR but these are the films (and tv shows) + artists that readily come to mind!! thank you again for your question anon, i love stuff like this so much and i love discussing films and art hehehe <33

#THIS POST IS FUCKING *MASSIVE*#U HAVE BEEN WARNED LMAO #i could just go on forever about film i love it so much #so so so much #i know i'm missing so many that have had an impact on me i can feel it #but yeah!!!#really the biggest trigger warnings here are for toxic relationships and drugs #so proceed with caution please!!#i hope you're having a fantastic wednesday anon bb <333 #please stay safe out there and drink enough water!!! ily!!!#clari gets mail #clari RAMBLES #my goodness #inky.bb

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mejomonster · 3 years

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Writing Tag Game

Thank u @s1utspeare for the tag, this looks fun -3-)/

my ao3 is softcorevulcan (just like my art tumblr)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

40. So many old spirk and POI and Angel ones tbh.

2. What is your total AO3 word count?

572,029 (like half of that is what makes monsters stop devouring and what will they find when i am ripped apart)

3. Top five fics by kudos

just a ribbon - 586

Vulcan Make Outs and Awkward Admissions - 369

Can A Person Be A Home? - 247

where they belong - 223

and that’s in pieces too - 205

4. Do you respond to comments, and why?

;-; <3 yes when I can. I love comments and I want to respond to them all, but sometimes I don’t get to them for months and then I’m like ‘may I still respond? I took so long ;-;’ I love that people read something and had feelings and want to thank them for reading.

5. What’s the fic you have written with the angstiest ending?

Perhaps Maybe Not Anywhere? I don’t consider it angsty but as a standalone it basically is. It’s a story about if Kirk and Spock in aos timeline got together pre-movie, then obviously didn’t work out because they aren’t ready in their character growth yet, and so they split. But I mean I wrote it to fit with movie canon so you can interpret it as they still grow together through the movies and end up together a la spirk in any universe. It’s just in that particular fic quite rough ToT. It’s also more of a character study, so it’s more resolution for character’s inner worlds than their relationships.

fuck I forgot! Or ‘seen this coming’ which is Gongsun Qian from Men With Sword reflecting on his own death, that’s hella angsty. Or ‘i love you’ which is set in Theory of Love and is Khai’s pov before he shapes up, so its in line with canon angst of that point in the story (but again according to canon things improve and they get together later post-my-story so??). Or ‘in another version’ which is quite sad as its Lan Xichen grieving, but in a way I wrote a much happier sequel ‘over the moon’ (I also wrote a happier sequel to the angst-ridden jiang cheng fic) so I don’t think they’re contenders. I try to make it so if I write something sad its only as sad as canon? And usually has an implied happier ending later or else I’ll probably write a sequel later.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Maybe Exit_Success because its a happy ending post-canon story for POI where everyone lives? Which I personally find consoling lol ToT.

just a ribbon is fairly happy ending, maybe that’s part of why it’s the most kudos lol? over the moon i find incredibly hopeful - reincarnated, everyone’s happier and optimistic and just nice and good things are on the horizon. What the Cat Wants is literally just a fic about pingxie cuddling so of course its very happy throughout happy. what makes monsters stop devouring also ends super happy with everyone dead being brought back to life (and i mean everyone like side characters come back babes) and the main pairs in love and happy, optimistic and ready to be brave to handle the challenges left. i try to end a lot of my fics optimistic at least? i hate ending sad so i only do it in rare cases when canon also ends sad and its only a character study...

i’d probably recommend just a ribbon, over the moon, and What the Cat Wants as my fluffiest fics throughout though.

7. Do you write crossovers, if so what’s the craziest one you have done?

When I was younger I think I wrote Death Note/Kingdom Hearts and Kingdom Hearts/X-men Evolution but tbh you could crossover KH with pretty much anything and it would only be as weird as canon.

I want to eventually write a dmbj/guardian and two silent reading/guardian crossovers (set one in the past, one in present) but who knows when I will get time for those little ideas.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

got hate on vulcan make outs and awkward admissions for too many curse words oh man. i recognize i put a lot in that one but also i don’t know why they didn’t click off the instant they saw the word fuck if they knew they didn’t like cursing? instead they read it all, told me it was awful trash that shouldn’t exist unless i took all the cursing out then it would be great. that fic is so old my dude i was not gonna rewrite it so yeah ;-;

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

like half my fics ToT idk very tender smut because i cannot write pwp without actual plot, and gratuitous mushiness and cuddling apparently. like... wmmsd is 270k of glorified plot (which admittedly is important) but wow did i take a while to get to the smut. and wwtfwiara the longest spirk fic i wrote was originally supposed to be entirely pwp but the plot escalated and i’m fairly sure a lot of people ultimately ended up reading for the intense plot (despite there being smut every single chapter lol ToT since that was the initial goal for the fic)

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i’m aware thankfully

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone once asked to translate ‘in another version’ into russian, which i said yes to and to link me cause i’d love to check it out, but i’m not sure if they ever actually had the time to since they never responded after that.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

maybe way back on ffnet when I wrote so much kh. so much. just kh and death note everywhere. actually if we go back to death note fandom i’m sure like 1/2 were angsty but i cannot remember them. also one day i should... maybe post all the 100 drabbles i wrote way back in the day on tumblr, just so they’re backed up somewhere.

13. All time favorite ship!

Weilan, they are everything I want in a ship, in a story, I’m spoiled. ;-; <3 (ye zun’s my favorite character which puts me in a weird place though so shoutout to the rarepair kunlun/ye zun that i wrote 270k for and idk if anyone else has but i WILL read it)

Probably in no particular order though: weilan, xena/gabrielle, spirk, pingxie, luo wenzhou/fei du

then harold finch/john reese, root/shaw, garashir.

I watched the shows happy to see them, I will probably read a fic for any of those pairs above. Special mentions to: moshang, faith/buffy, illyria/wesley, angel/wesley, gunn/wesley, jin guangyao/lan xichen, iron triangle, a ning/pangzi all of which I’d also read a fic for if i see one.

i know if and when i read can ci pin, it may consume my attention as a sci fi ship written by priest, and overwhelm me to get added to spirk and weilan on that list, which is why i still have not read it ToT

14.What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you will?

‘What will they find when I am ripped apart?’

I love that fic very dearly and wrote it over a period of years, but I know its probably never getting finished. It still has plot I haven’t worked out, and I only get inspiration for that specific fic when I’m feeling down in a very particular way and in a writing mood. So I suspect if I do finish it will be in 5 or more years ;-; I wish I could get in the zone to finish it though.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Being able to depict emotions, make people feel what the characters are feeling. Maybe also to be able to get people to sink into a scene like its a movie being watched. those are the kinds of things I’ve heard people mention before? also the way i lay out sentences and paragraphs, i try to use length of sentences and paragraphs, stops and pauses, to control the flow of the reader’s attention and i think to a degree it works out well.

i think a strength for me is doing character studies, just in general hopefully depicting where characters are internally well.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

not planning ahead if i dare to start multi-chaptered fic. usually nowadays i avoid that by thankfully making either standalone stories with sequels or refusing to show anyone fics unless i personally already plotted it all out and wrote it already ToT. but i do miss posting wips, because this way a lot of fics never see daylight lol

also just being motivated? i go for months without being able to write, then get a burst of energy and can but i have to basically write the entire fic at that point. So it’s hard to pace out longer things I’d like to write.

maybe writing specifically - getting to the point, sometimes. at some point i got really interested in the kind of writing that lingers in scenes and sinks into them so you can savor them? and i really enjoyed it so i learned to do it, but now its definitely a detriment to me trying to Finish writing things. Whereas I know years ago I used to be much better at very short concise only-needed-words-chosen fics. I’ve very much lost that, sometimes to a point it affects my writing negatively I think.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

if its needed? i think i have added vulcan words to a few fics the same way the star trek novels do, and in my own writing for my oc universes that have some languages made for them so i suppose that would be like lord of the rings maybe.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Maybe? X-men Evolution? I remember I literally wrote them just reacting to a movie, as you do way back on ffnet days lol. I think it was my first fanfic, and I do appreciate it for getting me into writing more (and also more into character concept art), as did kh.

19. Fave fic you have written?

this is so hard ToT i love a lot? and have a special fondness for a ton of the dmbj and the untamed ones.

a tie between ‘of a kind’ and ‘what makes monsters stop devouring.’

I love both dearly for very different reasons. of a kind is t’pring/uhura and a rare newer fic i’ve written where i managed to get back to my old concise writing style, and it flows so lovely i Love how i wrote it and how it reads. i love rereading it.

wmmsd is my guardian post canon fix-it fic and its the longest thing i’ve both ever written and completed. it proved to me i could finish chaptered fic over a time period, finish writing a long story with a complex plot, and its a great example of my favorite version of my usual writing style nowadays. it’s also weilan and ye zun centric and so being my favorite ship, and having my favorite characters, means i reread.

Bonus: what are your rare pairs?

I added this, so if anyone wants to cut this question out if you’re tagged please feel free -3-)/

A Ning/Pangzi OK THEY’RE GREAT, Time Raiders and TLT2 and all of Pangzi’s projecting are to blame for this ship taking off and never leaving my mind since!

Illyria/Wesley not intensely rare, but rare Enough there’s barely any fics when I love Illyria and just want to read more about herrrrr

Wells/Bellamy that was most of my old the 100 fanfic i miss wells and was bitter yeah

Willow/Buffy again not incredibly rare but I’m a sap for best friends to lovers.

Uhura/T’Pring also not incredibly rare but one of my favorite fics i ever wrote is about them and i am always thinking about them and i ;-; i WILL read ;-;

Panzi/San Shu I’m not gonna write it (probably) because i hate san shu the little demon But Panzi made me believe they’re life partners cause of tlt3 so the angst level of not knowing if you’re in love with the real San Shu or the fake? Or that now you’re with the fake, do you even know?? Fucking Wild. so wild so Intense to even contemplate wow

Kunlun/Ye Zun I have good reasons and u have to read wmmsd to know them ToT im kidding, more like i contemplated it and that sure was a wild concept that Worked. i WILL read this if anyone else has ever wrote it

Zhao Yunlan/Ye Zun if they’re actually in love. because its bizarre and i WANT to know what au the writer wrote for this to make sense? how did they change canon, where is shen wei because he’d have to be gone for this to happen? what Happened??? i will read this if i see it probably

Nie Huaisang/Jiang Cheng i convinced myself to ship it when i wrote a jc character study and it just? happened?? and i was like WOW this works and now i am on board

THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME @s1utspeare IT WAS SO FUN <3 <3 <3 i’m tagging anyone who would like to do this and: @humanlighthouse @jockvillagersonly @keyhsahla @pissmeoffanddie @eirenical @elletromil @staidwaters

#tag game #writing tag game #writing #i love reading these so i am excited to see other ppl doing this o3o)/

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illneverrecover · 3 years

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Jackie, I hope you are doing well!💖I hope its ok to send this kind of ask, I get a good big sister vibe from u and as a writer myself I just need some advice. How do u deal with not getting a lot of notes or comments on your stuff? Like I feel like I work so hard and it takes me days to write something but then I post and it barely gets 10 likes. I have friends who hype me and I appreciate them but it still stings, u know? Just wondering if you've dealt with this and if so how do you let it go?

Hi bb! First of all, I'm glad I give off big sister vibes! I'm always here to help and encourage other writers and creators, so never feel shy about sending me anything (and I mean anything - feel free to send random memes, Tae pictures that made you yell, whatever. I'm always down to chat!) Second of all, I have dealt with this before, and let me be the first to say that I know it sucks.

I would say this is probably most writers' experience, especially on Dumblr. Despite the fact that this site is super popular for fandoms, it's not very cooperative for creators to use it. The system as it's set up means that in order for things to be seen widespread, they need to be reblogged and/or tagged to reach a higher audience. Unfortunately, most people don't take the time to do that. It's painfully easy to just throw a like onto a post and keep on keeping on, and the tagging system is constantly not working like it should, things not showing up, etc.

I know it's frustrating. It sucks to work so hard on something and put your time and energy into it and feel like no one is interested. We write, make graphics, edit gifs, etc as a way to creatively express ourselves, and then we share it with the world in hopes it brings someone else a little piece of joy. Let me be the first to tell you that it's very brave of you to share your creativity with anyone, and I think it'll probably always sting a bit when it feels like it's not getting the welcome that you had hoped for.

The things that helped me with this may not help you, but just in case it does I'm happy to share!

1. I write for myself - me, myself, and I. Do I like what I wrote? Does it feel like a genuine piece that I want to share? Does it represent me and my storytelling in an authentic way? Then I'm happy! Bottom line, I'm the main reason I do any of this, so as long as I'm enjoying myself I'll keep doing it. 2. I also write for my friends. As long as my friends loved or enjoyed what I created, then I'm content. Like your friends, mine are always here to hype me up and give me love and encouragement, and it really means the world to me. They also have good taste so I know if they tell me they like something - they're being genuine. Writing something that makes them blush or flusters them or has them yelling my DMs always makes me feel accomplished, even if no one else leaves a comment. 3. Cross-posting to other platforms sometimes brings traction to a story that hasn't gotten a lot of notes on Tumblr. I cross post some of my stuff to AO3 (not everything, mostly because I'm lazy) - but there are other authors here who also cross-post to other sites like Wattpad. This may be something to consider as there are a lot of people who love fanfic who don't know or use Tumblr. 4. Joining writing networks. There are TONS of them out there, and they all function differently and can offer different things for a writer. I mostly join them so I can participate in projects (having deadlines really helps me focus and actually get shit done, lol) and to meet other writers and have some people to go to for writing advice, tips, beta reading, etc - but there are some with very large platforms that will boost your work and could help get your writing seen. 5. Try not to take it personally. I know it's hard and it makes you feel very vulnerable, but there could be a multitude of reasons something doesn't get a lot of notes. It's not a secret to see that certain genres, AUs, pairings, members, etc get more notes than others - and this has been the case for me as well. My smut fics almost always do well, whereas my other stories that don't have smut tend to get less notes. Some people look for very specific things when they want to read something, but it shouldn't dictate what we write. If the story you want to tell is important to you, then it should still be shared. 6. Ask for feedback with trusted friends/mentors. I know there is always room to improve and grow, and I personally want to know if there is an area in my writing where I am falling short or that I could do better with. I reach out to people that I know who have my best interest in mind and I trust them to give me accurate feedback. This may or may not make a difference in how well a fic does, but I think this step is important, especially so that #1 above stays true. I'm no expert by any means, but that basically sums up how I approach my writing in general when it comes to things like this. Please don't let any lack of interaction or notes diminish your passion and desire to write and share stories. At the end of the day, we all need more creativity and storytelling in the world, and just because your fic doesn't get 3k notes overnight doesn't mean it isn't worth sharing. Your words matter. No one has ever written a fic in the exact way you would, and your vision and interpretation is just as important as anyone else.

#sorry this is so long you should know by now that i will just talk forever #but i really hope this answers your question and helps even just a little bit #if you ever need a sounding board or feedback i'd be more than happy to help just DM me!#sending you lots of love #about writing #asks #sweet cherub anon #jackie.txt

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kxrn7knxck · 4 years

Text

top 5 mlm series (/ movies) and 5 honorable mentions

Tagged by my bestest buddy on this whole entire hellsite @doctorbeam

I took it upon myself to try and pick my favourites of the lesser known series that i’ve watched, which is how some of them ended up being movies by accident. Whoops. Anyways, in no particular order, my list is as follows-

1. Advance bravely

It’s been a hot minute since I watched this series so tbh I may have forgotten some of it but I do remember really enjoying this as I was watching it. Theres a lot of pining and sweet moments and it felt like there was a very genuine connection between Xia Yao and Yuan Zong. Because of chinese censorship, there isn’t any kisses or anything in this series, but it’s still very worth the watch imo

2. Gray Rainbow

I have made it no secret that I love this series to bits and it would have been on my list regardless of whether or not I was aiming to focus on lesser known shows. This series covers a lot of very series subject matter in very respectful and realistic ways and it’s 100% worth the watch, regardless of the reputation the ending gets. Yes, it is sad, but it’s also beautiful

3. Long Time No See

Of the series on this list, I would argue this is the most well loved among them. A good mlm korean drama with a sweet couple and a happy ending is very hard to come by and LTNS ticks all those boxes. I enjoy the plot, I enjoy the side characters, I enjoy the main couple, of course I have to include this on my list.

4. Seven Days

A very very sweet pair of movies that have almost 0 angst. As I said in my review, I absolutely love that the issue/ conflict in these movies isn’t based around homophobia (internal or external) but rather around the unique circumstances of the one week time restraint on their relationship. Some of the most peaceful and easy to watch movies I’ve seen for a while, and I can claim they’re allowed on this list because theres two of them. That makes them a series and I didn’t break the rules, ok?

5. Takumi Kun

Another very cute set of movies with minimal drama and just some good boyos. I think the way they handled Takumi’s “people-phobia” (see: trauma) was good, as well as the overall dynamic between Gii and Takumi being generally pretty healthy. I also need to do a rewatch of these too, damn. Anywho they count because there’s 5 movies. Come on, thats a series

Honorable Mentions-

2gether- this is pretty popular and still airing which means it didn’t fit my qualifications to be on the main list but I’ve been really enjoying it so far and am patiently awaiting the next episode. I enjoy the dynamic between Sarawat and Tine a lot and I really hope they’re not gonna get fucked up before the series ends

Until We Meet Again- very sweet story about a love strong enough it can survive anything, even death. I think In and Korn were a lovely couple to watch and I wish the world had been kinder to both of them. Pharm and Dean were also very sweet and I’m glad they got to live happily even after what In and Korn went through. As I said in my review, I liked how much of a soap opera it felt at times. This series had a story to tell and I really appreciate that

He’s Coming To Me- Might as well put this right after UWMA because I love it for a similar reason. This series set out trying to tell a story. That might sound kinda stupid but a lot of series are driven primarily by cute moments and the plot feels like kind of an afterthought (which is fine) but this (and uwma) was clearly written with the plot at the forefront of everything and I appreciate that. Also has a really nice coming out scene and sweet couple

History3 Trapped- A lot of people really love this series and it’s not hard to see why. The main couple is very interesting to watch, and despite all odds they ended up having a very healthy relationship where they are both head over heels for one another. Pair that with an engaging plot and cute side characters and bam! You got yourself a damn good series

Why R U- Another currently airing series that is pretty popular. If it weren’t for the absolutely angelic @doctorbeam, I almost certainly wouldn’t have watched this just because the side characters.. get a little uhh on my nerves. However, both the main couples are very sweet and I am very glad I was supplied with an edited version to help prevent me from going insane while watching. The plot is uhh a bit odd at times but yeah, the couples are really carrying it for me

I don’t really have many friends on this site so I won’t tag anyone but if you wanna do this, feel free to say I tagged you!

#//t #//g #affection #Advance Bravely #gray rainbow #long time no see #Seven Days #takumi kun #wont tag the others because i am lazy

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galaxy-starheart · 4 years

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I am off anon. I showing my face for the world to see. I am the epitome of bravery. ndkwheosheifhndkaurisggrid. I am dramatic as hell. 1) HOW COULD YOH MY BOY RORY NRKQJEJS THE BABY NOOOOOOOOO😭😭😭😭😭😭 2) water seems to really fit Delta, he seems like a very go with the flow kinda girl😌 i?????? Love???? Them????? I???? Adore??? You???? Je???? T'adore???? Ily tooooooooooo 💓❤💗💖💘💞💗❤💖❤💕💘💖💘💞💗💕❤💕💘💖💘💗💞❤💕💘💕💘💖Also 25 26 27 and 28 4 your 3 kids :pleading: :pleading:

Im so proud of u!!!! Ur so brave (and also valid!!)!! Hdksjsjdhsjd

1) i am EVIL and a BASTARD and there is no cure

2) Delta is just vibing, yeah!! :3

ilysm!!!!! 💗💕💓💗💖💗💓💕💗💖💘💖💗💗💓

25. What is their biggest flaw?

Delta: His biggest flaw is honestly being Too Reckless. His optimism sometimes carries him a bit too far and he finds himself in sticky situations it can be difficult to get out of (like, one time, he didn't plan sufficiently for a trip to a foreign country and ended up stranded there for a while without enough money to get back). Also, he tends to walk right into dangerous situations. Having been exploring old abandoned (supposedly haunted) houses and buildings since his childhood, he's prone to wandering into places he really shouldn't be (for health reasons, trespassing reasons, etc) just because of pure curiosity, figuring it'll turn out fine because it always has before and he's gotten out of dangerous situations before.

Sammy: His biggest flaw is probably his bad habit of latching onto people and ideas and dreams and imagining them in a very specific way, therefore either blinding himself to their true nature, being hurt by the reality that he overlooked or ignored, and/or setting himself up for failure. He's a bit of a perfectionist, but in the way that he Expects things to be perfect and ends up devastated when they arent.

Rory: His biggest flaw is the way he puts up walls and bottles up emotions rather than actually trying to work through his trauma and heal. It's his biggest obstacle in progressing as a character because he doesn't want to let himself feel, doesn't want to let himself progress because he's been locking all his emotions up for so long.

26. Are they aware of their flaws?

Delta: to some degree, yes, she is aware of her flaws. She knows she needs to be more careful, get better at planning ahead for things, actually make sure she has backup plans and all of that. When she catches herself being super impulsive she tries to rein it in a little, but sometimes it completely slips her mind unless she's reminded by her friends.

Sammy: Honestly he's a little bit willfully ignorant. He knows that he keeps getting hurt because he keeps holding people and things and ideas in high regard when they really shouldn't be, but he wants those things to be perfect so he keeps hoping that something eventually will be.

Rory: No, he isn't aware of his flaws, not really. He knows he has flaws, is fairly confident he has a LOT of them, but he misidentifies them and simplifies them a lot to the point that his actual biggest flaw goes completely overlooked. He's so intent on thinking hes a Bad Person that he doesnt look for the root of why he thinks that.

27. What is their biggest strength?

Delta: Delta's biggest strength is definitely the ability to pick up new skills and abilities with minimal training. These things take practice and developing the skills take time, but she's much quicker at getting started than many other people might be. It helps a lot in the sticky situations she gets herself into, because even when it looks like there arent many options she's usually able to figure something out thanks to her plethora of skills (if underdeveloped). Jack of all trades master of none, but better than a master of one.

Sammy: His biggest strength is probably his emotional vulnerability. Where some people (lookin at u rory) might box their feelings away in an attempt to cope with things, Sammy actively does his best to reach out for help when he needs it and express the emotions that need expressing. Sometimes it's hard to talk to people, but even then he doesn't try to hide his emotions away because he knows it's a bad idea and if no one knows hes hurting no one will be able to be there to help.

Rory: Honestly I just came up with all of these on the spot and I think Rory's is the hardest because he's I think a bit more complex than the others since he's existed the longest. @alcordraws (im sorry for tagging u so much kat) says that stubbornness might be a strength along with a weakness for him and I think theyre definitely right, but I think maybe Rory's biggest strength is his resilience? He's been through a lot and he's been so scared for most of his life (both for himself and those around him) and, though he's not great at coping, he still pushes on.

28. Are they aware of their strengths?

Delta: Yes, he is aware of his strengths, and honestly I think that makes it even harder for him to overcome his weaknesses.

Sammy: He's definitely aware of his strengths, but I don't think he would consider the same thing to be his greatest strength. I'm not even sure he'd consider that he has a greatest strength.

Rory: Once again, he isn't aware. This time, though, it's because he straight up rejects the idea that he has any strengths. He figures it out later in his story, but in the main portion,, no idea.

#thank u for the ask!!#ilysm!!!!

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marmolady · 4 years

Text

Pride

Book/Series: Endless Summer

Main Pairings: Diego x Varyyn, Estela x MC

Summary: (Endless Ending– set after my longer fic, ‘Broken Chains’, if you’ve not read it, assume a happy ending). Surrounded by a barrier of friends, Varyyn joins Diego as they march in their very first Pride parade.

Word Count: 1588

Tagging: @saivilo, @edgydepressedchoicesthot, @sceptilemasterr, @greengroove

Reviews and reblogs are hugely appreciated!

Cloaked in a dark hood, at odds with the popping attire of near everyone around him, Varyyn was wide-eyed with fascination as he stepped out of the Northbridge train station, Diego at his side. The streets were awash with colour, hues that were draped over countless flags, banners, even the skin of revelers.

Diego grasped his husband’s hand tightly. He was awash with emotion; anxiety at having Varyyn surrounded by so many people, but more than that, a feeling of belonging that he’d craved for as long as he could remember.

“This is it, Varyyn,” he uttered hoarsely. “Happy Pride!”

“I am always proud to be with you, my love.”

Taylor was grinning like an idiot-- for her, too, this was a first, as it was for Estela with whom her fingers were entwined. “We’ve got this, Diego, the rest of us should be enough of a barrier to stop anyone from looking at you two too closely.”

Giving his best friend a warm smile, Diego nodded. That he’d been touched to have ten friends putting themselves out there to give him the kind of Pride experience he’d wistfully imagined was an understatement. They had his back. “Yeah, we got this.”

He looked around. Friends surrounded him on all sides, dressed in their colours or else proudly wearing ‘ally’ pins. To think he’d felt so alone before--

“Hey!” Craig exclaimed, “If anyone gets to close to our V-Dog, I can pull off a killer diversion. I’ve been practising my moves for weeks…”

“It’s been fucking torture to watch,” Zahra said. “But, yeah, your dancing will scare anyone off, I’ll give you that.”

As they marched on with the parade, the smile on Estela’s face just grew broader. She’d never had a chance to do anything like this in San Trobida, and probably she’d have steered clear of all the fuss anyway. Since returning from La Huerta, her sexuality, the identity that came with it, meant a whole lot more. On La Huerta, no one gave a damn, and she hadn’t bothered herself with labels. Today,though, her wrist was adorned with a pink, yellow and blue bracelet.

“I didn’t know you identified as pansexual?” Quinn queried warmly. When they’d discussed these things previously, Estela had always been vague-- which had always been accepted without hesitation; but it seemed something had changed.

Estela nodded. “I didn’t think I wanted a label, but then I thought… words have power. They can make you visible. I like who I am, how I love; a lot of people where I’m from struggle with that because for so long they had to hide. Visibility is important.”

“That’s my wife! Fighting the good fight and making the world less shit, one PDA at a time.” Taylor jumped to give Estela an enormous smooch, delighting in the happy squirm she caused.

“So, uh,” Estela tried to continue, whilst her love continued to pepper her face and neck with kisses, “basically, I just… find some people attractive. And I don’t think it would have mattered if Taylor was a guy or a girl or both or neither. She’s my person. It was a weird feeling, like something deep inside me knew.”

“Aw, ‘Stel!” Taylor gushed. “As for me? Basically, I’m gay as the day is long. Useless Lesbian: Alien Edition.”

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock,” Zahra scoffed. “You’re a walking fucking stereotype. If there were U-Hauls on La Huerta, maybe you wouldn’t have even needed to get hitched after what… how many weeks? Three? Four?”

Diego was quick to swoop to his friend’s defence. “Hey! La Huerta rules apply! Way too much wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff to untangle.”

Quinn smiled warmly. It wasn’t the first time she’d been to one of these events, nor even the third or fourth, but to be surrounded by the friends who’d become her family made for a very different experience. She was not alone, dodging pitying whispers while she tried to embrace a side of herself that was so much more than ‘the dying girl’. And now, she had Michelle.

“Life can be over so fast; if you care for someone, there’s no shame in putting yourself out there and showing it.” She gave Michelle’s hand a squeeze, and they exchanged an affectionate glance. “Being trapped at the end of the world can do a lot to put things in perspective. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m living without regrets. Who I am is who I am; and that includes the pieces I wished I could hide from.”

Grace looked to her friend with admiration. “That’s very brave, Quinn. Sometimes accepting yourself can be the hardest thing.” Especially when the people you love can’t look at the true you and do the same. “Honestly, you’ve helped me a lot.”

Walking beside Diego, Varyyn was beginning to see why they called it ‘Pride’; he could feel it emanating from his husband, creating a warmth that had nothing to do with the sun beating down. And the smile on Diego’s face? Varyyn was sure he’d not ever seen anything quite so beautiful. Though careful not to peer to far out from his hood, he took the time to look over each of the different coloured flags and ask about each one. A young woman jogged past, wearing a cape of black, grey, white and purple-- the same design that was plastered across Raj’s shirt.

“Raj,” he queried, “ I believe Diego told me about your colours. It is for… ‘ace’? For no romantic partners?”

“You got it! Basically, I get all the love I need from my bros. I never really felt like anything was missing, you know?”

“I understand. It’s not something my people have a word for, though I know several friends who have always felt the way you do,” he said, thoughtfully. “So much of this we don’t have words for; we just… be. I appreciate your sharing with me. And I am very grateful to be one of your bros.”

The whole experience was vastly different to anything that could exist among the Vaanti. Sexuality and gender was of so little consequence; there had never been much weight put on words and labels, there were no expectations that it be necessary. By the generally agreed upon human terms, Varyyn supposed he might call himself ‘pansexual’ as Estela did. The rainbow flag, though, was his favourite. In it he saw the jubilation of making it through a storm to something beautiful. Appropriate it was, that it meant so much to Diego, as he stepped out unafraid and loved. Varyyn looked at Diego, his husband, the love of his life; surrounded by a wall of friends, laughing on Taylor’s shoulder. He was truly radiant.

Varyyn put a hand on Raj’s shoulder. “Could I ask a great favour of you?”

“A personal favour for the elyyshar of the Vaanti? I think I can swing that….”

Taylor was chuckling as she ruffled her best friend’s hair. “So, how is it? Everything you dreamed of-- if you’d even dreamed you’d have the Knights’ bi legend Sean Gayle as part of your pride posse?”

“Pretty sure Past Diego would think you’d hit your head too hard if you’d tried to tell him this was coming. I mean, the time travel, the monsters, my best friend being some sort of knockoff ET, are unbelievable enough, but these kind of squad goals…? I…” Suddenly, he found himself choking up. If it was a life-altering adventure, he’d got it. What was left at the end of it was something that could never be truly grasped by outsiders, some bond, sacred even, that had helped him find his own strength. As he struggled to come to grips with the tatters that remained of his family life, it was that strength that would keep him afloat, and that bond that would see his heart start to heal. “I… didn’t think this feeling was possible for me.”

And Taylor hugged him tight. “You’d better get used to it, because you’re stuck with us. You deserve this. Just for being you… and also for being the world’s best wingman. The best thing that ever happened to me happened because you helped me believe in taking a leap. Diego Soto, I will never not owe you one,” she laughed.”So, for my next trick, I will pass you off to someone who wants his arms around you even more than I do. You’re welcome.

With a wink, Taylor spun Diego into Varyyn’s waiting arms, which draped an enormous rainbow flag around the two of them.

“My love,” Varyyn crooned, “you bring my world more beauty than I believed possible. You showed me hope and light in my darkest hour. Diego, you are my rainbow.”

Cloaked in a fluttering of multicoloured fabric, they kissed, long and tender; the pounding of music and marching, the chants of ‘Variego!’ fading far into the background, beyond their own private euphoric celebration.

Varyyn came away slowly, his expression warm as he stared into a look of fierce affection. How could he ever have dreamed what had been held in store for him, when this lion-hearted storyteller was beyond anything Vaanu had yet shown him. A whispered ‘I love you’ from his beloved Diego set his heart, once again, all aflutter, dancing like the rainbow flag around their heads. “And I love you.”He quirked an eyebrow. “Best Pride ever?”

Diego gave a short laugh and pecked a kiss to his love’s gentle lips. “Best Pride ever.”

#happy pride y'all #endless summer #variego #diego X varyyn #playchoices #mlm #wlw #estela x mc #estela montoya #diego soto #varyyn #raj bhandarkar

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dopescotlandwarrior · 4 years

Text

The Dancer-Chapter Three

A special thanks to @statell for all the help

Previous chapters on AO3

Chapter Three

The day after Hogmanay, the world looked completely new and different to Jamie. It always did because of his mother telling him about the new year, fresh beginnings and a casting off of mistakes and baggage from the year before. Gather yer blessins to take into the new year and forget the rest, she would say.

Jamie spent time hiking the hills where ever the snow would allow. He needed to be alone in the uncomplicated outdoors so his twisted mind could unravel, set goals for the new year, and dream about a lovely future. His mother’s voice was heard again telling him to have a picture in his mind of where he wanted to be in a year. “Make a braw picture in your in mind so yer feet will know which way to go, Jamie boy.”

By this time next year… Hmm Reunite with his childhood friends and celebrate Hogmanay together. He would see the finished barn he promised Jenny he would build for her, three years ago. Hiking and climbing once a week to build his strength and overall health. He would pay it forward in Edinburgh, he and Claire, with reading programs, book clubs and free classes for computers and creative writing.

He would have to open another store this year but this time he would find a way to pull any local bookseller into his project rather than leave them to mourn.

He would keep his workweek to forty hours, well fifty at most, when the new project was underway.

Jamie was smiling as he saw Lallybroch in the distance. He felt better and he had a plan. Throughout his hike and planning the coming year, the veiled girl beckoned him. Get outa my head temptress, ye mean nothin to me, he thought.

Claire had danced at many celebrations during the holidays and it was time to treat herself with some new clothes. She would not feel buyer’s remorse because the bank account would hardly notice the loss of Benjamins. Still, she called in reinforcement to prevent her from bolting at the first price tag.

“Geillis, I am walking into Epitome right now and if you don’t hurry, I promise to buy every beige garment I see.”

“Impossible Claire because I’m already here with a full dressin room waiitin for ye. Look up for Christ’s sake before ye crash into the makeup counter.”

When Claire looked up, there was Geillis pointing to a dressing room. Claire was surprised by all the color in the garments and she balked saying she wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing any of it.

Geillis held a beautiful royal blue sweater out for her. “Ye wear leggings underneath and boots that fit yer calf or ankle boots with a heel for date night. Jesus Claire, dinna roll eyes at me, ye need to consider going out with a man when one of them asks ye.”

“They only ask when I dance, and the shock of seeing the real me will have them running for the hills I’m afraid.”

“So we lessen the chasm between ye and the other ye and it starts with color and beautiful clothes. Dinna forget I’m with ye enough to know ye made a small fortune over the holiday. I think Omar is jealous, God knows I am. What about this one?”

For the rest of the afternoon, the girls ran from one shop to another as Claire’s back seat filled with her brave purchases. Sweaters, leggings, scarfs, boots, tops, jeans, a tailored coat and soft comfortable dresses for curling up on a couch or chair for a book club meeting. Claire was feeling braver and laughing more, until Geillis put the fear of God into her heart by stopping at a salon. It was the best in Edinburgh, so she marched inside to make Claire an appointment.

The man behind the counter was model gorgeous with jet black hair and crystal blue eyes. His wide mouth was adorned with a trimmed mustache that made his white teeth sparkle. Geillis started at the top of his perfect head and devoured bite-size pieces hoping he was tall and hung like a horse.

Claire raced in after Geillis to stop her and witnessed her friend morph into a purring, circling, huntress. His name was Joseph and he had a cancellation and could take Claire right now. Claire rapidly shook her head no, but Geillis forgot how to hear as she pulled her reluctant friend to follow Joseph. He led the ladies into his own private room and barely heard a word from Claire before he started cutting. Claire looked from Geillis to the stylist and figured neither one would be communicating with her now, so she closed her mouth and her eyes. She could hear some lady in the main salon complaining bitterly that she had been on Joseph’s waiting list for a year and this was just not fair!

Claire hated her hair since she was old enough to have an opinion. It was frizzy-curly that she tamed with loads of hairpins and detangler. It was like a curse on her feminity because she never could style it, wear it down or in a ponytail. On her rare trips to the bedroom for sex she would emerge looking quite like Einstein with a red face. He could shave it off for all she cared. It was why she loved wearing wigs so much.

Joseph was wrapping Claire’s hair in large plastic rods, allowing Geillis to flirt and toss her hair like some crazy person. Claire peaked up at the two of them and noticed Joseph was caught in her web, like a hooked fish that Claire hoped knew how to cut hair. The eyes closed and her mind practiced her new routines until she felt Joseph take her hand.

The amount of hair on the floor was staggering and Claire’s hand instantly reached for her head but only touched the plastic rods. She was seated and then laid back with her neck locked into a U shaped cut out in the ceramic sink. It was like a torture device sculpted for maximum pain that was quickly getting worse. She looked up and saw both faces above her, but they were talking to each other and didn’t seem to notice her. It can’t get any worse she thought until freezing water gushed out of a hand-held sprayer that soaked her face dripping into her sweater.

The big rods were removed, one more soaking and a towel dropped on her face as Geillis pulled Joseph into a corner to play with his hair. Claire held the towel to her dripping hair and sat down in the stylist’s chair that was unfortunately turned away from the mirror. Claire twisted her head trying to see what had become of her hair until she was jolted back by Joseph man-handling the towel and squeezing the water out of her hair. Claire glared at Geillis.

Next, a loud blow dryer was following chunks of her hair wound around a brush as Joseph’s expert hands pulled and twisted sections of hair while staring at Geillis. It wasn’t intolerable. The warm air was chasing away the cold from her wet sweater. A rather large razor edge was pulled down taught sections of hair around her face and her large eyes watched it twist and turn an inch from her skin. The blow dryer once again and then the cape was pulled off her with flourish. Claire felt the chair drop slowly as Joseph turned her toward the mirror.

Claire stared at her reflection with wide eyes that looked bigger and her lips looked more prominent. She pulled herself out of the chair and leaned toward the mirror where she looked at her features an inch from the glass. Her eyes gorged on her amazing hair for five minutes. Where did all this bouncy, straight hair come from, she wondered. Her bangs were cut very long and angled to sweep across her face covering one eye. Holy fucking Christmas, she thought, this was a mad miracle and she was desperate to find out how to style it like this.

“Joseph! I lov…” They were kissing and Joseph held her coat out to her. Guess that’s my cue to leave, she thought. Good thing Geillis had her own car. Claire tossed a folded hundred-dollar bill on the front desk and told the person it was for Joseph. Paid in full or just the first installment, Claire didn’t give a rip. For now, anyway, the cursed hair looked as good as the bouncing bobs that shined on the magazine covers. She raced home to stare at herself and try everything on, twice.

Toppled boxes and bags were strewn across Claire’s studio floor. She had pulled her makeup organizer out and was sitting on the floor in full light an inch from the mirror. Every ten minutes or so she ran to the bathroom to wash her face and start over. The laptop glowed next to her and she typed Eva Mendes into Google and looked closely at her favorite eyes in Hollywood. She was determined to learn, and scrubbed her face three more times, blinking back stinging tears to answer her ringing cell phone.

“Claire, my dahling, a pipe ruptured in the kitchen and the restaurant is closed until next week. Three days they tell me so go visit relatives and rest, aibnatu.” Claire smiled at the Arabic daughter reference and jumped back in front of the mirror. She carefully plucked at her eyebrows using Eva Mendes as a reference again. She went painstakingly slow to avoid a catastrophic patch pulled out by accident. An hour later she moved her eyeballs from one brow to the other, happy with the arc.

Claire was nervous about wearing her new clothes and hair in public. She still felt like she was playing dress-up and did not want to embarrass herself. Geillis was still not answering her cell and Claire was getting bored. She pulled her new coat on and looked at all sides in the mirror. What’s the worse that can happen? Somebody points at my ridiculous clothes behind my back? No biggie. She reached for her purse and left.

Jamie would be long gone at this hour, so she decided to check out the bookstore in his absence and take a look at the side rooms used for kid stories and adult book club meetings. It was a perfect place to find her confidence. Brightly lit, she would know if people were laughing at her. She parked and exhaled a billowing cloud of steam in the twenty-degree interior of her car.

There were two large carousel doors in the front of the store and stepping into one she looked up at a man on the other side of the glass pushing his way outside and staring at her. Claire looked at the floor convinced the man had dropped something. Looking up she realized she missed her opportunity to exit into the store and had to go around again. I am sure no one saw that she decided.

The store was gigantic, and Claire felt her heart race as she read the section names placed high on the shelves to lead people to what they sought. Claire knew where Jamie’s office was from the one time she was here and made sure it was dark before venturing in. She was free to explore the store unnoticed and felt a rush of excitement to see as much as possible.

Jamie pretended to eat as he pushed the peas and carrots around his plate making small talk with Jenny and his best friend Ian. He was lost in his daydreams of spinning veils and exotic eyes, hoping Jenny would not ask him about it. Strangely, Jenny and Ian were getting on like two peas in a pod and hardly noticed him. Once supper was cleaned up, he slipped away and headed for the restaurant and the dancer who would not leave his head.

The closer he got the faster he drove until he looked up at a dark building and empty parking lot. He circled around and read the note about the closure due to plumbing. Christ, he would surely implode waiting until next week to see her. He rolled out of the parking lot heading for the bookstore. Dropping in on the night manager and his staff could pay dividends in future months. Maybe the night wasn’t a total bomb after all.

Once inside the store Jamie kept close to the shelves where he could observe the staff, happy and helpful, going from music to video games and back to books, assisting customers. It made him content to see such productive employees looking for people to help. He continued to stroll through the store, watching for problems, or lazy staff running out the clock. He watched his newest hire helping a petite brunette in the classics section. She moved away and Jamie continued his lazy spying as he walked through the store. He smiled thinking he should get back to Ian before Jenny chewed his ears off with her continuous conversation. He walked along the row of rooms and offices noticing the brunette sitting inside a room with comfortable couches and chairs. The walls were glass so he could watch her as he walked. He felt something vaguely familiar about her but realized her glorious ass and legs would have been cataloged in his head, like every other pretty girl in Edinburgh.

Jamie leaned against the door to open it enough to speak to her.

“Excuse me, lass. This room is dedicated to the book clubs. There are couches scattered throughout the store if ye like to read a bit.”

“Book clubs, that sounds interesting. Who leads the club if I might ask?”

“Claire Beauchamp is in charge of our community programs.”

“Is she any good?”

“Oh yea, quite good.”

Jamie was trying to back out of a conversation he never wanted in the first place. When long legs were uncurled from under the woman, he was momentarily halted so he could watch skin tight jeans and boots. He could be running down the street with his hair on fire, but he would stop to watch gorgeous legs swing out of a car. Being temporarily diverted by the anatomy of the opposite sex was part of being a man he always thought.

“I am very close to Claire Beauchamp actually.”

The woman passed through the door under Jamie’s arm and then turned to look at him in the light of the store. Jamie stared at her momentarily confused.

“It’s me, Mister Fraser, Claire Beauchamp,” she said smiling. “I didn’t have to work tonight and got bored, so I came by to see the rest of the store. I hope you don’t mind.”

“What have ye done to yerself?”

“Oh, I…I…” Claire’s hand reached up and touched her shoulder-length hair and looked nervously for an escape.”

Oh my God lass, he thought, I meant that in a good way. Ye have eyes, he thought, surely ye can see what’s right in front of your face.

He slowed himself down and looked at her like he was appraising a beautiful work of art for sale.

“Ye know Sassenach, I’ve seen my share of makeovers, but none like this. He circled around her showing his appreciation. Claire’s cheeks blushed at his scrutiny, her confidence soared and she giggled at his exaggerated gawking.”

“It was nice to see you, Mister Fraser, I have to get home, goodnight.”

“Ah, two things Sassenach, how do I contact ye? For the community programs, I mean.”

Claire pulled the phone from his hand and punched in her number hearing the muffled ring in her purse. She looked up at him, “and the other thing?”

Jamie was still staring at her trying to see all the changes. “Wednesday.”

“Wednesday?”

“Aye, C’mon, I’ll walk ye to yer car.”

They walked together to the other side of the store. Jamie waved at a few people but otherwise looked at Claire. There was something unsettling about the changes in her. It was making him feel weird, happy, confused and sad all at the same time. Aside from her momentary anxiety when he said something stupid, she was like a new woman and reminded him of someone, but who?

Jamie failed to rally his senses before she dropped into her car. He turned to walk back to the store and looked when she called his name.

“What is happening on Wednesday?”

“Ye, here, and a bunch of wee ones, aye?”

“I will see you then Mister Fraser.”

A fortuitous meeting he thought, looking at her number on his phone. I’ll get the reading programs up and running before I leave for Glasgow.

Jamie did not spend much time at a new store. Once it was opened and running smoothly, he was off to build another one.

A new store was a complex project that easily lost money from delays, inept contractors, expensive labor, and a million other factors. Jamie had commercial construction experience and hired on, nine years ago, as an assistant project manager. The job took him to cities all over Europe and America. He was home for holidays and vacations, otherwise, he was gone.

Halfway through his first year as assistant project manager, he received a formal invitation to a meeting of the full board the following month. The next day he received a phone call from the secretary of one of the members and later a large envelope was hand-delivered to him with plane tickets and a cashier’s check for one thousand dollars.

Jamie walked off the plane after landing in Germany and felt a small hand attached to an arm that linked through his. A pretty woman in business attire pulled him into a limo and handed him an apple martini while giving instructions to the driver in German. The woman sat close beside him and peeled off her jacket as Jamie gorged himself on her jutting chest and fat red lips. She dragged him through men’s clothing stores where a lucky few could afford to shop until his interview suit was complete.

The woman watched him get in and out of his clothes at least a dozen times during the afternoon and when it was clear they were done she looked at her watch and then pushed him into a seat in the dressing room while pulling her blouse off. She was completely naked bouncing on Jamie’s lap and all he could do is hang on. His twenty years on earth had not prepared him for this thrilling experience, nor had the many dropped panties delivered him to the promised land quite like she did.

One month later, haircut and manicured hands, wearing a tailored suit and shiny shoes, Jamie met the members of the board for the first time. They had vetted Jamie so thoroughly they knew his test results in Chemistry from his sophomore year in high school. Millions of dollars would be gambled on his ability in the next ten years and the board gave him no quarter as they questioned his course of action in one impossible scenario after another.

After three hours they all broke for lunch and vaporized except for one man. Clearly the youngest of the board members, he poured the world’s best whisky into a cut crystal glass and handed it to Jamie.

“You are doing remarkably well Mister Fraser. You can relax because you’re already hired. Now comes the negotiation for salary and benefits. I cannot be seen coaching you so listen carefully, “tell them you want ten years as project manager followed by first right of refusal for every position that opens in the next grade up, forever. It will guarantee a life of promotions until you get dizzy from a fear of heights.” He poured Jamie another shot of the whisky he would remember for the rest of his life.

“Good luck friend.” In seconds, Jamie was alone feeling his bravery assert itself. What the hell, he thought, friend or foe, he had a good feeling about the man. Jamie drained his glass and when the board reconvened, he gambled his career on the advice of a total stranger.

Steal gray eyes regarded Jamie under thick white eyebrows. Thin lips pressed together in a straight line across his deeply lined face. You could hear a pin drop in that room and Jamie wondered if the members could hear his ramming heart. He remembered his boss working seventy or more hours per week, missing the birth and growth of his kids, saying he had to make money while the opportunity lasted. Complaining his six-figure income would end after ten years and he would settle into managing whatever store they gave him, at a lower salary, for the rest of his career.

When they offered the same package to Jamie, he stood at the end of the conference table with all eyes waiting for him to pledge his extraordinary life to corporate slave labor. He dropped his head for a minute of quiet before he threw the dice.

“My mother taught me to always know where I want to be, so my feet know which way to go.” He looked up at the man on the other end of the table. “I have a braw picture of my life before my dyin day,” he gave them a half-smile, “and I willna get there with yer offer. I’m sorry gentlemen, I respectfully decline.”

Jamie sat down, shaking from his feet to the crown of his head, silently invoking the love of his parents and the power of Lallybroch to carry him through the rest of the meeting.

The white eyebrows asked Jamie to step out just as the door opened and the sexy secretary found his eyes, smiling her intent. She led him to a hallway and pushed him into a couch, then turned her attention to a flask and a shot glass pulled out of her briefcase. Jamie was so tired. He stared at the shot glass anticipating the lovely feeling it would bring. The woman handed it to him and told him to toss it back. He did.

The phone in the woman’s purse vibrated and she stood, bending over to press her tongue into Jamie’s mouth as she kissed him.

“Good luck” she whispered into his ear and disappeared around the corner seconds before the conference room door opened.

Eight board members filed past Jamie, smiling and shaking his hand. White eyebrows was the last in line and told Jamie to expect an offer in the next two days. It would be hand-delivered and it would rock his world.

He was feeling better, almost like superman as he walked to the exit of the building. Hearing his name, he turned around as the young board member caught up to him.

“Last bit of advice Jamie. In eleven years you will wonder what gift to send me as thanks for how I helped you today.” He pressed the bottle of whiskey into his hand. “I want a case of this.” He smiled with his perfect teeth, “It’s my favorite.”

Jamie watched Claire drive out of the parking lot and returned to the store. Jumping stairs two at a time to his office he left the lights off and drifted to sleep on his couch. Sometime in the dead of night, when unanswered questions are brought to the light, Jamie dreamed.

The dancer was twirling across the room straight toward him. He watched her like a statue, made of concrete and powerless to move. She stopped spinning six inches from him. She spoke rapid Arabic and he could only watch her mouth until she said “Jamie.”

His eyes snapped to her eyes. She spoke to him! Finally! She was pointing to something and his eyes followed the line she pointed to. He saw, in the distance, the room in his store where he found Claire. She sat on the floor with wee ones sitting all around her as she read to them.

The dancer was pointing furiously at Claire, ”love her,” said in her broken English.

Jamie looked back to the dancer. There was love in his eyes, he could feel it. “I love you, I must be with you.”

The dancer took Jamie’s hand and led him across the floor approaching the dressing room. Before she entered the room, she turned around and Jamie saw she was sobbing and then she looked at Claire.

“Please.” Said through her tears. Jamie felt his mind snap having her so close to him. He looked around at the empty restaurant. They were alone and he would have his way with her.

“Jesus!” Jamie yelled in his sleep and his eyes flew open. “Ah diah!” His office was pitch black and the store was empty. He felt the huge erection that pulsed between his legs, his balls were pulled up tight to his body and stung like they were being poked by a live wire. He was literally seconds from ejaculation. All he had to do is close his eyes and see her kneel in front of him and his pain would turn to pleasure. Jamie was panting and conflicted, crazy angry at letting himself go back to her, even in his head.

“Leave me alone ye cunt!” He was seething mad just wanting a way out of this nightmare. “I dinna bide with rape but if it would rid yer presence in my head, I would break yer bones with my brutality.”

Jamie grabbed his coat and ran for his car feeling completely out of control. The speedometer pushed into the criminal zone as he sped through Edinburgh. Where is a cop when ye need one, he wondered? He had to be punished for thinking he could harm another person, especially a woman. A night in jail would be helpful, jar him back to reality before his well-constructed life crumbled around him. He raked a hand through his hair then gripped the steering wheel, hating the shaking that vibrated his fingers like he was as weak as a bairn.

Jenny couldn’t see him this way, just in case she was awake, so he drove the back roads until his tank was almost empty.

Being unsuccessful at getting arrested and nearly running his gas tank dry, Jamie turned into the Lallybroch driveway and sat in the quiet of his truck. Dawn was breaking across the fields and he saw himself running through the corn stalks as a lad with a single concern to get home before he was late for supper. He desperately wished he could go back in time, before his mistakes, and try again to be the man his parents raised.

He took a deep breath and walked to the front door noticing Ian’s car was still where he left it. Jamie wondered if he was sacked out on the couch and felt the sting of guilt for leaving like he did. Setting the alarm for two hours he dropped into bed. Sleep came quickly as she wrapped her cadaverous long fingers around his defenseless brain.

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dechagnys · 4 years

Text

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK ( depends on who u ask lol )

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. ( again depends on who u ask )

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK

Were they relevant to the main story? YES / NO

Were they relevant to the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO / IDK

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL

How strictly do you follow canon?

hm. I follow canon to the point until I don’t. in terms of phantom there are a lot of different interpretations and versions you can pull inspo from and I tend to mix between the leroux novel and the alw musical , and just kind of take the bits that I like and go from there. the two are pretty different in terms of how raoul is characterised so I’m not totally faithful to either one of them , however I don’t think I disregard some of the negative traits in either characterisation either ??? I try to reflect them in a less fuckboy way.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals

raoul loves so hard. he is just a smart , brave man who loves and respects those who deserve love and respect. he’s shy and kind and fiercely loyal and is generally considered to not be worth one’s time because he does not put himself on display. he’s a thoroughly unique twist on a classic victorian hero archetype , by which I mean instead of being the bold , aggressive , rough-tough-no-emotion type , he is a man who is very much in touch with his own feelings and his own emotional health. he is still a strong leader when it is required but is generally more a lover than an aggressor.

Now the OPPOSITE. List everything why your muse might not be so interesting (even if you don’t agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?)

okay. so , the phandom has generally been getting better , especially recently after the livestreams of both RAH and LND , but raoul is still very much of background consideration in terms of fanmade content. generally , the r/c dynamic is considered less appealing than the e/c dynamic which is understandable because beauty and the beast narratives are pretty sexy , but it tends to be at the expense of raoul’s character. this also applies to most phantom adaptations which take great pains to develop the e/c dynamic and give raoul barely , if any , character in general. ( ie. most of the phantom adaptations don’t even give the raoul character the name raoul ) this , however unintentional , has given raoul the general reputation of being a , to use an academic expression , soyboy cuck. which he is , at face value , but lack of character development means he’s really not anything more than that. this leads people to assume he’s a wonderbread boy with zero character which leads to the general aforementioned shelfing. I won’t claim that raoul is the most interesting character in the story because he’s of course not , the phantom is objectively WAY COOLER than he is but that doesn’t mean raoul’s not interesting. anyways raoul de chagny is my oc

What inspired you to rp your muse?

I’ve mentioned this on a previous ask meme but I love me a good soft boy. a man who is pretty much completely driven by his love for his SO to the point that it’s at the heart of all his motivations. really just a total simp. a boy who doesn’t like being yelled at but also would let his SO yell at him like a dog. a tall man with a short gf. a man who would let his gf peg him anyways I’m really into the dynamic and raoul is that to a T. I’ve always really liked him as a character , after being exposed to phantom through the 04 movie I was just really drawn to raoul and more exposure to this character arcchetype developed my interest in him.

What keeps your inspiration going?

- memes - salt - love for my wee baby boy

Some more personal questions for the mun. Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO. ( not as much as I really should since I appear to have a lot to say about him )

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. :(

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO. / SOMETIMES .

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO.

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

yes , to a point ?? I’m pretty firm in my general characterisation of raoul and I haven’t had any complaints so far , but if it turns out I’m actually being problematic about something then by all means I’m open to that criticism and would change it. I don’t think anyone really cares enough about my muse to give a fuck tho lmao

Do you like questions which help you explore your character?

it’ll take me 84 years to respond but hell yeah.

If someone disagrees with a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?

yes.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

honestly I think I’d be upset at first since I really love my portrayal of raoul but I would understand , because of the varied interpretations of his character it’s natural people would read him in different ways.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?

it’s fine lol , I think at this point I’m used to raoul being cucked in the fandom although that sentiment is generally going away , ALW really played himself when he streamed LND and all the comments were talking about how stupid the changes to raoul‘s character were. if it’s specifically my characterisation , I mean I wouldn’t be thrilled but I’d understand. if you really don’t like me then pls softblock me and don’t vague about me ????

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?

that’s a little but of an overreaction but I guess not ??? I tend not to make a lot myself but I am pretty stupid and I type too fast for my own good so it’s bound to happen. however I suggest people not make a habit of calling out other people’s grammatical errors because you cannot assume english is everyone’s first language and if you call someone bad at english whose native language is not english ??? you’re a douche.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

oh god I hope so. I mean. my zodiac is cancer and I’m the most cancer-y cancer ever. if any one of you says one mean thing to me I will start crying , I mean it.

tagged by: @wldbirds tagging: @fantomoir @wandersung @corpsemade @wshdreamer @marblecarved @dubovoye @intoxicatiing @aleximedicus @partiallystcrs

#ooc / YOUR HAND AT THE LEVEL OF YOUR EYES !! *#/ * this was fun !! reminded me of how much of a simp raoul is for christine #/ * and how much of a simp I am for raoul

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lookbluesoup · 5 years

Text

OC Interview Meme

Tagged by @tarberrymentats and @wastelandwandererstuff B)

SORRY IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO GET TO THIS GUYS spring break kept me busy xD But I AM BACK NOW AND READY TO ANSWER THESE TAGS THANK U ALL <33 It’s been a blast getting to read about everyone’s Fallout characters ;w; I’m trying to get braver about leaving comments/reblogs but in the meantime just know I SEE YOUR AWESOME CHARACTERS and I APPRECIATE THEM.

This was actually a challenge answering from Nate’s POV xD There’s stuff that I KNOW ABOUT HIM AND WANT TO SHARE but he wouldn’t volunteer or he wouldn’t view the same way so… take it for what it is! And feel free to ask questions! ;w;

It is long. Long long long. Not sorry. 16, 19, 28, and 33 are my favorites c;

1. What is your name?

Oh. Wow. We’re starting this interview off with some tough ones, hunh? Uhh… hm. My name. My name… Let me think. (overly dramatic pause) Nathaniel Christian Ronan? Yeah. That sounds right.

2. Do you know why are you named that?

I was told my name means “God has given,” because my parents didn’t actually think they’d be able to have a second kid. That and Pops was an army chaplain - wanted me to have a name reflecting the faith. He was very literal in his approach. Ronan is an Irish surname, which seemed a lot more important 200 years ago than it does today. It means… uh, oh, shoot, I used to know… Don’t worry, it’ll come to me.

3. Are you single or taken?

(chuckles) Sorry folks, my roving days are over. Got a nosy reporter waiting for me back in Diamond City... whatever time I’ve got left I’m giving it to her.

4. Have any abilities or powers?

Powers? What, like, superpowers? That’d be awesome but, hah, no. Though I’ve been told my ability to talk myself out of trouble is uncanny. My martinis were legendary, and still would be if I find the ingredients for them in this apocalyptic wasteland. Friends say I’ve got a good ear for music… Oh, and ventriloquism. That’s always fun.

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

I know you are but what am I?

6. What’s your eye color?

Blue, like my grandmother. (blinks dramatically several times for emphasis)

7. How about your hair color?

Coal back. (runs a hand through it almost nervously) And holding up better than the rest of me, considering the complete lack of well-deserved grey hair.

8. Have any family members?

I have a son, Shaun. Piper gave me roots, and Nat’s pretty much my little sister, too, at this point. The Railroad’s been more family to me than most of my own blood ever was.

9. Oh? How about pets?

Legs Washington, an orphaned radstag I brought to the Castle. He’s a bit of a mascot for the men, follows Shaun everywhere. Yeah, it’s adorable.

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like?

You guess? Look, after this interview, I’m taking you to the Castle to meet them yourself. Your life will be changed. There’s plenty to dislike about the Commonwealth, enough to go mad over. It’s not exactly the charming old homestead of days gone by. But we’re making it better one day at a time.

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

Hah! “Duck and Cover” is a big one. Got me suspended from Railroad HQ once, though. I still say that was Deacon’s fault. I like long walks through the woods, playing baseball with Shaun, and a General’s work is never done but it does bring fulfillment. I like all those activities infinitely better when Piper’s around. Is that mushy? God, that sounds mushy. (smiles shamelessly)

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?

Yeah. Some deserved it… some I’m still trying to make up for.

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

(stops smiling) Yeah. I have. You want a kill count? Six-word soundbites about all the blood and screams and the way men look when they realize they’re about to die? It’s not a fun fact. It’s not fun. Next question.

14. Name your worst habits?

I’m afraid that information’s classified. I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you. OH! LITTLE SEAL. That’s what Ronan means! Yeah, you know, like, selkie babies.

15. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

Aha… seriously? I’m Pipersexual, end of story. Unless you count the undying affection between my best mate Deacon, and me, which I’ve been told occasionally inspires jealousy. Honestly, I never gave putting a name to my romantic inclinations much thought. It’s always been women, but maybe I just never met the right man.

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?

Piper, for sure. She’s - the way she sees the world? It gives me hope. She’s brave, brave enough to fight for what she believes in. No matter how bad it gets she always finds a light to hold onto, somehow, and keep going. And she’s genuine. I didn’t know what courage really was until I met her. Scribbles’ friendship is… a hell of a lot more than I deserve. I wouldn’t be the same without it. And, God, she’s funny. Sweet, and - a-ha, hm… we’d be here all day if I tried to list all the reasons why I love her.

I also have immense respect for Nick Valentine. He’s a good guy. Without ‘im, I might still be chasing my tail out in the woods somewhere. Or worse. Nick was a friend to me when I needed it most, put everything on the line to help me find my son - didn’t even hesitate. I’ll never be able to repay him for that.

17. What kind of animal are you?

One of a kind. (winks)

18. Do you go to school?

The Commonwealth has a way of schooling everyone, doesn’t it? I’m a bit too old for arithmetic and hall passes, but I never stop learning, if that’s what you mean.

19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?

I’-ve… been down that road before. (breaks eye contact abruptly) Times were uncertain enough when Shaun was born. Now? Scribbles and I roll the dice every day of our lives. Asking her to marry me – starting over – was the scariest thing I’ve ever done. A baby would be, uh, a really big change. (smiles briefly, uncertain) Maybe if – no, I don’t know. Piper’s never shown any desire for something like that. If she did – even if she did... (sighs) I – look. Let’s just move on, okay?

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

Oh yeah, I have an ensemble of groupies that follow me around the wasteland with a pack brahmin and an eyebot.They pitch my tent for me and cook all my meals. I pay for services with my autograph instead of caps. (rolls eyes, but keeps a smile)

21. What are you most afraid of?

Losing someone I love. I know we don’t get any guarantees out here in the wasteland, but… loss never gets any easier. It makes it hard to open up, y’know? I spent a long time keeping folks who cared about me at arm’s length, and some days it’s still a challenge.

22. What do you usually wear?

What you see is what you get! Derbys, slacks, a shirt as white as I can get it in these conditions, and a black vest, because that never goes out of style. My favorite hat is - take a look at this. It’s a bicorne. Has anyone worn that since the French Revolution? It’s great. I love it. Piper doesn’t.

23. What’s one food that tempts you?

You know what I miss? Chocolate. I’d kill for chocolate. … kidding.

24. Am I annoying to you?

Hah! I married a journalist. This is just another Tuesday.

25. Well, it’s still not over!

Look, if I’m not back by seven…

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?

I mean… it’s not like anyone’s ‘wealth’ compares to what it was like before the war. I’m not living off charred molerat, but I certainly won’t be moving into the Upper Stands anytime soon. Most of what I have, I made myself.

27. How many friends do you have?

More than I deserve. Piper and Deacon are probably my two best friends though. Nick, Preston, and Kent oughta be mentioned, too.

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

You mean those damn perfectly preserved slices stuck in the Port-A-Diners? God, I’ve tried everything. I spent an entire afternoon trying to break in. What is the glass even made of? I couldn’t put a scratch on it. You have to just keep pushing the button. Over and over. I’m convinced it’s all some Vault-Tec conspiracy. There is no pie. The pie is a lie. Piper says she managed it once, but I don’t believe her.

29. Favorite drink?

Nuka cherry! No question.

30. What’s your favorite place?

There’s a spot up at the top of Diamond City. I mean the top top, even higher than the Stands. Clear night with a full moon? You can see for miles. Can’t be beat.

31. Are you interested in anyone?

You’ve - been listening, right? Aha, was I unclear about being madly in love?

32. That was a stupid question…

You’d be surprised how often it gets asked. (chuckles)

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

Lake. Definitely. I’m marginally less likely to get eaten there. That being said, I was up in Maine once, went out to pick lure weed. You know, those radioactive yellow flowers that grow in muddy ponds? Bad idea.Terrible idea. Maine is a terrible place and I will not be building a summer home there e-ver.

34. What’s your type?

Kickass reporters with the brightest hazel eyes you’ve ever seen, hair like Aphrodite, and a smile to make you melt.

35. Any fetishes?

Look, you’re very nice. Really. And I appreciate the interest, but ah, this isn’t any of your business. Only one person gets to ask me about those and - you aren’t her.

36. Camping or outdoors?

Camping? Oh man, those were the days. An RV trip would be the bomb. It’s not much of an option these days. But I’m used to sleeping rough, and I gotta admit, it has its charm.

#anyone who hasn't done this is tagged #nate ronan #meme #tag #oc interview #screenshot #pipan #piper x sole #fallout #fallout 4

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nedmallory · 6 years

Text

Series: If You Want Love (ao3 link)

Chapter 1: Monsters

Wods: 4,588

AN: This story takes place prior to the events of Veil of Secrets, under the assumption that Grant Emerson is Kate O’Malley’s stalker. I’ve had writer’s block for the last year so I am more than willing to accept betas! Also, huge thank you to @mariamatsuo for talking me through my plot gaps in this chapter

Grant playlist: Spotify Apple Music

Tagging: @kingliamthirst @alanakusumastan @secretnerdharmony @maxwells-nut

Grant Emerson was the best lawyer in the district. Coming from a family of attorneys, it only made sense that he’d have to be. All he wanted growing up was to follow in his father’s footsteps. Every day he was making his father proud, even if Grant was merely a criminal defense attorney. Samuel’s only wish was that his son would have taken up corporate law instead. It was the most profitable field, after all. Criminal law was where Grant thrived, though, so he couldn’t stay upset at that. As long as Grant was happy, that should be all that mattered. Perhaps if he knew the road that path lead them, Samuel would have put more pressure on his son to work by his side at Emerson, Emerson, & Stone.

Grant was taking the long way home, admiring all the scenery Birchport had to offer. He hadn’t seen much of it since his family picked up and left town in the middle of his freshman year of high school. He and his sister had only just moved back seven months prior. The sun was just beginning to set as he waited for the dreadfully long red light to turn green. His phone beeped, signaling a new text message. Reaching into the cupholder next to the steering wheel, he picked up his phone. Another message came through, lighting the screen briefly and allowing Grant to get a glimpse of his girlfriend smiling as she posed with a tall glass of white wine. He chuckled. He hadn’t even returned home and Kate was already drinking without him. He unlocked his phone to view the previous message.

“Glass of scotch with your name on it when you get home!” Another came through. “Hurry home or I’m gonna finish your glass for you.”

Grant was about to respond when an unsaved number popped up onto his screen.

“Hey, B!” He grinned. “What—” “Grant!” The voice on the other end of the line screamed into his ear. “Grant, help!” “Bri, what’s wrong?” Grant felt a slight breeze hit his face as he gripped the steering wheel so tight his fingers should’ve hurt. Too distracted by the fear in her voice, he didn’t feel a thing. “What happened?” “He’s going to kill me!” She yelled. “I need you.” “I’m coming!” Ignoring the traffic light, which still hadn’t changed colors, Grant stomped on the gas and made a U-turn. He was desperate to get to her house before it was too late. “Bria, just hide. I’m on my way.” “Grant,” she was whispering now. Between her uneven breathing and quiet sniffling, Grant could tell Bria was crying. “I’m scared. Please, hurry.” A loud banging sound could be heard and then Bria screamed again. Buildings and cars blurred away as he sped to her rescue. Suddenly, the line went dead. Grant’s heart sank in his chest. Bria couldn’t die, she just couldn’t. Not like this.

Sooner than he thought, he arrived to Bria’s brick home. Without even remembering to remove his keys from the ignition, Grant hopped out of his red convertible with the engine still running. As fast as his feet would carry him, he made his way to the front door. I was left ajar. Though his heart was suddenly pounding so hard he felt like it would jump straight out of his chest, he was relieved that at least he didn’t have to worry about breaking the door down. Mind racing, he didn’t know whether he should try to be stealthy or just barge in there.

“You don’t have time for this.” Grant muttered to himself, pushing the white door wide open and roaming through the dark room. “Get your shit together.”

The house was silent aside from his shoes clicking against the hardwood floor. There was no sign of life anywhere. The entire main floor was a mess. In the kitchen, broken plates were scattered across the floor. Following the trail of broken glass, Grant found himself in the living room where a large lamp had fallen over in the struggle. The lightbulb was still in tact, the light shining toward the staircase. He followed it. That had to be a sign, right? Taking a deep breath, Grant tried to mentally prepare himself for what he might find upstairs. A blood trail with no body? Bria’s lifeless body? No, he couldn’t let his mind go there. Shaking away all bad thoughts from his head, he reminded himself to just keep walking. If he could just make his feet go faster, Bria would be okay.

“Miss Holliday?” An unfamiliar male voice called out. “I know you’re in there. We need to talk!”

Tracking the man’s voice to a room Grant was shocked he’d never noticed before, he squeezed his hands into the tightest fists he could form. It was the only thing that could keep them from shaking once he confronted the intruder. Grant’s loud footsteps stopped behind the stranger.

“What the—” The man turned around, chuckling only when he recognizes Grant’s face. He had slightly tanned skin, black hair slicked back, a goatee, and wore a grey suit with a black shirt. While his taste in clothing read as impeccably clean, his vibe was dangerous. Just being this close to him made Grant quiver with fear. “Ah, yes. The errand boy. Go home. This doesn’t concern you.”

Errand boy? Grant cleared his throat. That wasn’t what he should be concerned with. He should stay on task. As much as Grant wished he could obey the man and leave, he couldn’t in good conscience do so if Bria would still be at risk.

“Who the hell are you?” Grant crossed his arms, trying to look as intimidating as possible. In reality, however, he had no idea what intimidating another man was supposed to look like. It was never something he’d ever cared to do before this moment. He was starting to wish he’d thought to ask for backup instead of entering a dangerous situation with no contingency plan in place. Of course, he couldn’t do that, or his secret would be discovered. The man’s silence was tugging at Grant’s nerves. Why did he have to make it so hard? And if he was just going to keep ignoring the question, Grant would just have to settle for referring to him as something so plain and unoriginal as Goatee. “I won’t ask you again, Goatee.”

The man’s eyes roamed along Grant’s body, from his furrowed eyebrows to his unflinching gaze to the tightly folded arms to the way Grant was constantly shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He doubled over, deep laughter rumbling out of him.

“Oh, man!” He clutched his stomach as he returned his posture upright. “You almost had me going for a moment there!” Grant was about to take a step forward until Bria spoke. “Grant?” Her voice was soft, almost inaudible through the closed door. “Is that you?” “Yeah, it’s me!” He released a sigh of relief. Grant had been terrified that when he finally got to Bria she would be dead. But now that he knew the truth all he wanted was to get the bastard standing before him away from her. “Thank God you’re safe!” “Safe? Is that why you’re here?” The man laughed again. “You don’t even know what you’re doing, do you?”

Grant wanted to open his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t convince himself to do so.

“Alright, boy, have at it.” Goatee spread his arms out wide as Bria opened the heavy door just a crack. The room was pitch black. How could she even see in there all that time? He could barely even make out her face. Grant didn’t move. “DO IT! NOW!” Grant had rushed all this way for this very moment. He needed to protect Bria, defend her when she was too weak to defend herself. How could he though? His eyes darted to Bria, who had been watching desperately for some kind of indication to how this exchange would pan out.

“No, wait.” Grant closed his eyes, hoping Bria wouldn’t kill him later for backing out. When he opened them again, Goatee seemed troubled. Grant took that as an opening to try to sway him even though panic took over every inch of him just gazing into Goatee’s cold eyes. “Nobody has to get hurt here. Just leave.”

“I respect you coming here to protect your girlfriend.” Goatee nodded. His eyes more intense than their default state. “It was brave of you.”

“Th-thank you.” Grant cleared his throat. He was relieved there wouldn’t be any confrontation after all. “I’m pleased we’re able to work this out.” Goatee’s grin was unnerving. Grant had never been this close to someone whose smile could reach their murderous eyes. “Not quite.” Grant froze. “A wise king once said he was only brave when he had to be.” He began to peel off his crisp suit jacket. “I’m afraid you didn’t have to be. You should’ve walked away when you had the chance, boy.” “Don’t do this!” Grant, backing away pleaded for his life. It shouldn’t end like this. Looking around for a weapon was pointless. Just blank walls and an unfilled hallway. “We can talk this out!” “The time for talking never existed.” He inched closer to Grant, rolling up his long sleeves. “Only one of us makes it out of here alive. I think we both know that’s going to be me.” “No…” Grant searched for Bria’s face. She was now standing outside of the room. Her hand covered her mouth. What was she thinking? She shouldn’t be there. If he turned around Goatee would see her! It wasn’t safe. Grant needed to provide a distraction so that Bria could get away. She’d be dead otherwise.

Panicking, Grant’s hand did all the thinking for him. His fist collided with the man’s strong jaw. They were both shocked that Grant had it in him. His eyes caught a glimpse of Bria in the background. Was she really smiling at a time like this? No, she couldn’t be. For every step that Goatee took toward Grant, Grant took two steps back.

“I thought you were finally getting it.” Goatee sighed, disappointed that Grant was so weak. It took all the fun out of the fight. “Man up and fight me, boy!”

Finally, Grant’s back hit the railing of the staircase. There was still no sign of a potential weapon for Grant to use and there was nowhere left to go without leaving Bria alone with her attacker. Goatee grabbed Grant by the collar, lifting him up into the air. His feet dangled loosely just 5 inches above the ground. Goatee began to whisper in Grant’s ear.

“It would be so easy to throw you over the edge right now and watch you go splat.” He sneered at Grant. He was clearly still disgusted that the person Bria handpicked to end his life wouldn’t fight back. “But you don’t even know what, or who, you’re fighting for. The least I can do before I kill you is make sure you die knowing the truth. At least then, it won’t be in vain.” Just like that he released Grant from his grip. A huge part of Grant thought for sure Goatee was playing some sinister joke on him. Part of him was also so foolish to believe the claims of a killer. Grant didn’t know which part of himself to believe. Surely he couldn’t trust this man, so he did what he assumed any reasonable person would do in his situation. Grant punched him in the stomach, making Goatee clutch it.

“Son of a bitch,” he laughed genuinely this time. “That one actually hurt me!”

Oddly enough, that one reaction gave Grant a sense of pride he knew he shouldn’t have. One that he knew wouldn’t have the chance to last. One way or another, this was the day that Grant Emerson would die. Nothing in his life would ever remain the same as it had always been. He tried to punch Goatee again, but he caught Grant’s fist before it could crash into him again. He’d already afforded Grant as many freebie shots as he cared to give him.

Before Grant could even think of blinking, Goatee was already delivering blow after blow careful enough to avoid Grant’s face. He felt that sparing his punching bag’s face was the very least he could do. Grant’s arms crossed against his chest forming an x. He had no idea what it would actually do, but he’d hoped it would take some of the pain away. It didn’t. The two men floated across the room as Grant attempted to flee his opponent’s deadly jabs. His entire body ached and all he wanted was to escape. This was it for him. This would be Grant’s demise. There would be no walking away from this house.

Ready to accept defeat, Grant closed his eyes. He mentally said his goodbyes to everything he cared about. Goodbye to his beautiful blue Camaro convertible. Goodbye to the ongoing golf tournament he was currently beating all his friends in. Goodbye to his family and his friends. Goodbye to that damn puppy he’d just adopted, who just couldn’t seem to stop relieving herself inside Grant’s shoes. Goodbye to Kate. Wait, no. Not Kate. He couldn’t bare to leave Kate alone. Not like this. They’d just moved in together a couple months prior. She couldn’t find out he’d been cheating on her, especially not by the rumors of his death’s circumstances flying around Birchport. How would Kate ever survive that kind of humiliation? Grant would never do anything to hurt Kate! At least that was what he’d always told himself each time he’d betrayed her trust.

As Grant’s eyes shot open he pushed his assailant away with all the force he could summon. He needed to continue to fight. Not just for himself or for Bria, but for Kate. She needed him. Goatee fell backward, losing his normal sense of balance. He tripped over his own feet until they sent him tumbling down the 20 foot long staircase.

“Timber.” He said calmly and nodded. He didn’t panic or shout for help steadying himself. When you’re in the crime business, you have to be prepared to die at any moment. Death was never something he’d feared. Though death by stairs would be a tough blow to his reputation, Goatee welcomed it. His body hit the stair landing. Grant half expected to hear some pained shuffling at the bottom of the stairs, but it never came. Why wasn’t he making a sound? Grant sucked a breath in and peeked down the stairs. The man’s body was motionless. No sign of life. “No!” Grant whisper-shouted to himself. “He’s not dead. He’s not dead. He can’t be dead. I can’t be a killer!” He watched for a change that just wouldn’t come.

“Please get up, please! Don’t be…” Grant blinked back a series of tears threatening to spill from his eyes as he yelled down to the first floor. Was he really pleading life for the man who was going to kill him? “Don’t do this to me, you selfish asshole! You wanted me to fight back, now get up!” Nothing.

Grant felt his only remaining option was to check Goatee’s pulse. He could swear he heard his own heart hammering in his chest while he descended the stairs.

“Breathe,” he coached himself. Otherwise he might just forget and pass out right on top of the unconscious man just a few feet away. “In, two, three, four. Out—” “Is he…” Bria cried out with shaky breaths. “Is he dead?” “…two, three, four.” Grant couldn’t focus on more than one thing at a time. He shook her voice out of his head and just focused on his breathing. “In, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four.” “Grant?” she trembled but still he did not respond. “Grant, answer me dammit!” Nothing was taking Grant’s mind off of the task at hand, which was making it out of this in one piece. Quite frankly, he didn’t need Bria’s whining at that moment. If he could keep crying to the bare minimum, so could she. He was the one doing all the fighting, after all, and he wouldn’t have been there if not for Bria’s panicked phone call.

Finally he reached the bottom of the stairs. Grant crouched down next to Goatee. Grant reached two fingers out felt his neck for a pulse. Nothing. “Oh God!” Grant’s voice echoed against the walls. He jumped back perching himself up on one of the steps. The tears he’d been holding back ran down his cheeks. “Nope,” Goatee slowly opened his eyes and turned his head toward Grant. “I’m no god, but I am still kickin’ so you can stop being dramatic now.”

Terror coursed through Grant’s body again. Suddenly looking into the hollow that Goatee must have considered his soul, Grant finally realized that this man wasn’t afraid to die. Not because he had a death wish, but because he was simply unkillable. Grant remembered Goatee’s words from earlier and saw the truth in them. Grant really wasn’t going to survive the night in one piece. Death at Goatee’s hands was inevitable. Nothing and no one could stop it. Grant disappeared as fast as he could back up the stairs and down the familiar path to Bria’s bedroom. She also fled, but her path was back into her panic room. Goatee didn’t care about hurting her though. He couldn’t. He took off, as quickly as he could, after Grant.

“Hey kid?” Goatee called out to Grant and dragged his hand along the wall. He let his tiny fingernails tap against each door he passed. He was already halfway to the bedroom. “I really am sorry that I have to kill you. As hard as it is to believe, I actually like you. You’re a fun kill. I’ve never had ‘rich golden boy’ before.”

Grant searched the bedroom frantically for any kind of weapon he could use to take Goatee down a notch. He stumbled his way into the adjoined bathroom, nearly crashing his head into the door frame. Grant rummaged through the drawers and cabinets to find something hard or potentially hazardous. Unfortunately, there truly was nothing. Didn’t most women at least have a curling iron in their bathrooms? The only one being taken down a notch was Grant. He might have already been defeated, but he couldn’t give up hope that he might find a weapon.

“Oh, Graaant!” Goatee warned him that he was on the way. He sounded as if he was waiting just outside the bedroom. Goatee might’ve been a killer, but at least he was a generous murderer by allowing his opponent the opportunity to find a weapon to defend himself. Grant hurried back into the bedroom and decided to check Bria’s desk one last time.

“Ooh,” Goatee’s voice was clearer than ever as he stood behind Grant, who’d blatantly jumped out of his own skin. “Too late.”

Grant turned to face him, but realized this man was superior to him in every way. He was at least five inches taller than Grant was, he had far more toned muscle as Grant could see the outline of his muscles through his dress shirt, and clearly he was stronger. If Grant was smart, and he definitely was, he sure as hell wasn’t going to underestimate Goatee.

“Y-you said you like me.” Grant’s hands felt around the items on the desk behind his back. “You don’t have to kill me. You could just let me go. Bria too.” “You’ve seen my face.” Goatee shook his head. “You could easily point me out to any of our enemies if they found you. It would just create a blood bath for the boss and for Stone Haven. Birchport’s only a town away and I’d have to come back to kill you anyway for opening your damn mouth and causing all this trouble.”

“I won’t talk!” Grant finally felt something that wasn’t paper thin. A mirror? Really? Would that actually leave enough of an impact on him? A shot glass? No, not big enough. Goatee would just catch his hand before getting hit. Moving his hand further left, it landed on a tall glass bottle. Yes, that was the one. That was his weapon. “I swear on my girlfriend’s life, I won’t!” The words tasted like vinegar coming out of his mouth. Why would he say that?

“Which one?” Goatee smirked. Grant was shocked that this total stranger knew his secret. “Oh, please. Of course we know!” We? Who was we? “In due time.” Goatee took another step forward. They were now just inches from touching. “You’re not dying right this second. I recall promising you information.”

It was a trap. Grant had to react! He smashed the bottle over Goatee’s head. He fell down clutching his head while Grant ran away. He headed for the stairs, crashing into the walls every time he made a sharp turn. It was slowing him down tremendously. He’d nearly made it back to the kitchen when he felt himself being tackled down to the ground. The collision sent his arms and hands scraping along the broken glass on the floor.

“You just had to go and do something stupid like run!” Goatee yelled and slammed his fist into Grant’s chest. “Stay. Still.” His hair had come out of place. He had to brush it out of his face as he closed his eyes and calmed his nerves. He was pinning Grant down by the throat.

“Now, I—”Just as he was opening his eyes again and about to remove his hand from Grant’s throat, Grant stabbed him in the heart with a thick shard from a shattered plate. Both their blood drizzled down Grant’s hand. He stared at it in horror. He might’ve just killed a man. There’d be no coming back from there.

They were still face to face as Goatee’s mouth fell open. Even through the pain, he was trying to tell Grant the truth he’d promised him. “Hhhh—” Goatee blinked slowly. “Hun… ter… Holliday…” Hunter Holliday? The crime lord? For the life of him, Grant couldn’t figure out why Goatee was telling him about Stone Haven’s most dangerous criminal. “Bria… Birchport police…” The more he spoke, the more his chest ached from the glass shard sticking inside of him. He eased himself down on top of Grant and rolled off of him so that he would lie on his back. The strain of keeping himself propped up was no longer there, but for the first time in his adult life Goatee knew what death must feel like. It was almost unbearable, but after all the bad he’s done outside of Birchport, he felt this was precisely what he deserved. “Daughter.”

“What?” Grant shook him. “You’re not making any sense!” “Holliday… daughter… Bria…” Goatee’s eyes slowly began to close. “No!” Grant shook him again. “Stay with me! I need to know!” “Tired.” Goatee’s head fell limp as he slipped out of consciousness.

“Grant Emerson…” A man’s voice called out to him from the shadows. That voice… He knew the voice but he couldn’t place it. The man stepped into the light. His head was bald and he wore a police uniform. “Well done.” “Tommy Walsh, you bastard.” Grant threw himself onto his feet, fuming at the Chief. “What the hell are you doing here?” “I always knew you were a thug.” Walsh smiled, pleased with himself. “It was just a matter of time.” “What, did you set this up?” Grant approached the good for nothing human garbage dumpster. “Just to nail me?” “Oh, no!” Walsh snickered. “That was all Miss Holliday. She wants the spot Mr. Cantarella, here, holds in her daddy’s inner circle. He signs my paycheck, so who am I to say no? Which reminds me. You’re under arrest. Murder. First degree.”

Walsh stepped closer to Grant.

“What?!” He couldn’t get arrested! All he did was protect his secret girlfriend. This wasn’t fair! Grant yanked a wooden picture frame off the wall and threw it at Walsh. It hit him in the left eye. “This wasn’t premeditated!” “Ouch! What the hell’s wrong with you, Emerson? Do you really want to add assault of a police officer with a deadly weapon to the list of charges?” Walsh grimaced, removing his handcuffs from his belt. His face hurt like hell, but he’d always dreamed of arresting an Emerson. His wish was finally coming true. “And I’m pretty sure I can manufacture evidence to make it look like you had a vendetta. Don’t. Push me. You’re done in this town.”

As Walsh slapped the cuffs onto Grant’s wrists, Bria bounced down the stairs and rounded the corner. She smiled at the scene. Grant’s heart dropped at the sight. He’d hoped Chief Walsh was lying. “Babe, aren’t you excited? You’re in bed with us now.” Bria ran up to them and planted a soft kiss on Grant’s lips. “Officially.”

Just then, Grant woke up. His empty eyes flashed open and stared up at what used to be a blank ceiling. Now, he had a picture of Kate O’Malley staring him in the face. Every night and every day, he had the same memory replaying in his dreams. Kate, Bria, the man with the Goatee, Walsh. It was all real. In fact, it had happened three years ago. Having this dream every time he shut his eyes used to make him scream and sweat bullets when he woke. Now, he feels nothing. No more guilt or shame. No more wondering what if. No more anticipating when Bria would come back to haunt him. So far she’s been quiet.

The only reason Grant wasn’t doing major time in prison was because his father swooped in and bribed Walsh to keep the arrest under the radar. At least, that was the case until Samuel Emerson died mysteriously just months later. Nobody knew what truly happened, but Grant’s mother blamed him. As did Scarlett, but she would never admit it to him. Whenever Scarlett needed him on her side, he was with no questions asked. Now it was her chance to repay the favor.

Kate left him two years ago, but Grant? He intends to get her back. He’ll stop at nothing to reclaim what he’s lost. Tonight was Kate’s birthday and it was about time he finally made an appearance in her life again. Grant reached across his bedside table for the note and ring he found on his pillow when she moved out of his mansion and out of his life.

“Grant, I’ve rewritten this note a million times over, but there’s just no easy way to say this. I’ve tried to find the words but nothing I say, or how or when I say it, seems to work. So here it is. I need to let you go. You’re going through something, and whatever it is has been eating you up inside. It’s been killing me to not be able to help you, or even know what happened to you. You have to know I love you, but I love me too. Grant… I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to keep living with a ghost. This is no way for either of us to live. Maybe someday we can find our way back to each other. -Kate.”

#choicesgallery #my fic #im terrified so pls dont be rude #not even tagging as anything #long post #this chapter is grant centric #kate will be present ch 2 which is why i wanted to post them at the same time #but im stuck trying to figure out what i want to happen so #thisll have to do #okay i literally cant stall anymore here we go #i need validation hit me maybe #iywl #if you want love

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bottomdiluc · 6 years

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You are so right abt kl revolving around l0nce and that's why i got sick of it. As a keith stan i demand the boy to be more than just a trophy thank u very much :/

to be honest, i am still somewhat into k/l, but only as them in a future setting where they’ve matured (mostly on lance’s side) and keith has learned to trust people and overcome his own his own issues, as well as has allowed himself to trust people outside of shiro. so, because of that, in the beginning, i did venture to the k/l side and at first, i was surprised cause almost all the content i ran into was lance-centric–his pov, his struggles, his needs, and as a keith fan, i spent a long time trying to pick through content to find that one rare bit of keith content. i learned that kl is shipped overwhelmingly by lance fans or have a lance bias and it hasn’t really changed. most keith fans i’ve run into are either sk shippers, ka///llura shippers, multishippers, even ke///tor, but not many have turned out to be heavily into k/l.

k/l tends to heavily borrow the s/k elements in canon, like really fucking heavily. i’ve read a lot of fic that i ended up turning away from cause it read too much like s/k, or rather, it read too much like shiro with lance’s head pasted onto his body. all that dedication and openness and friendly interaction was directed toward lance, albeit a bit watered down, but it was there, reading like it was shiro. k/l in fanon, at it’s most, hardly resembles its canon counterpart. in fact, it couldn’t be anymore different. i guess a lot of people were writing it as though they were in a future setting and had gotten over their own reservations, but it still heavily reeked of the s/k dynamic.

i hardly ever mention k/l as a ship i somewhat have an interest in because of how it is framed, the tomfoolery of the fandom, and because i can’t truly dive into it because the content created for it tends to be:

most content is about lance or centers on him. like a huge amount, seeing as most k/l are lance fans or have lance biases

keith is often made to resemble so little of himself or his flaws dramatically increased or written from lance’s pov in order to make him palatable for k/l

lance is often treated as the golden boy who does no wrong or he’s got shiro’s or allura’s problems grafted onto him in varying levels of extremism

k/l altean/galra aus are something i intensely despise because it often removes keith’s biracial identity (hello, interracial person here to tell you that is fucking awful and i hate it so much but it’s so popular that i literally can’t escape it) and treats it as interchangeable, as well as removing lance’s own cuban heritage, and it just feels like a male version of ka///llura. edit: actually, i despise all fics that take away keith’s biracial identity and i hope you step on a lego every day for the rest of your life.

keith and shiro are somehow siblings all the time, and you can tell how much the author doesn’t like how close keith and shiro are in canon by how hard they push shiro and keith to be strictly platonic (those who have put in past or implied s/k are so strong and brave) and use that to water down their relationship, as well as pretty much every other possible main contender for keith’s attention is made to be related to him (mmmm remember when thace/keith was a bit of a Thing but people were tryna act like thace could be keith’s father/uncle/adopted parent, etc? me, too, it was so funny. as well as axca/keith were long lost siblings as if vld doesn’t have a particular art style they use and sometimes recycles their character design for others? mmmmmm) and they constantly try to emphasize it

needing other characters as villains, twisting them into something they’re not, and it’s usually focused on lance being affected the most: see lotor is just a damn fool ass bastard for really no reason, shiro is a villain, lance’s family is homophobic for whatever reason, etc

langst. fucking hate that shit, i will skip any and every fic that has that tag in it or somewhere in the description, i won’t even entertain clicking on it except lamenting the loss of potential for that ugly tag

fake bisexual lance and not really gay but lance sexual keith. honestly, y’all are trying to turn the straightest character on the show bi and the one of the characters in the show that shows one of the least interests in anything. it’s blatantly obvious

i’m only really in it for the possibility of them in the future being better to each other, seeing how they progress in the future cause them in current canon? would fall apart so fast and so hard and more than likely will have bitter resentment between them. however, as much as i try to hold onto it, i can eel my interest dwindling with every reveal of canon and the fandom’s idiotic behavior on and off the internet, as well as antis having made k/l the ship they are going to make sure the fandom can’t touch with their harassment and bullying. i just don’t even talk about k/l much anymore or even really try to give it any space on my blog.

#askbox for ts #anonymous #vld for ts #long post for ts #Anonymous

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sladedick · 6 years

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I fucking love this concept (literally every fucking thing on your account). Like yess yess. I really want to get more into it on my fandom second blog (althought sladin is favourited on my tags) but ik I have alot of underage followers...

ok first of all i am SO glad i got you into sladin bc!! it’s such a great dynamic and v underappreciated ! but also... OH NO! (i feel your pain i really do)

you could do sladin on main (side in this case ig) which is! brave!! the problem with underage followers is not that they’re going to be exposed to really bad content per se - so long as you tag your ships and nsfw it’s easy to avoid stuff, and it’s perfectly reasonable to put stuff on your blog you enjoy (that’s what blogs are for)!! unfortunately they’re more likely to yell at you for being a “bad shipper” and you’ll be vulnerable to harassment. also you may lose followers......

you COULD make a sideblog just for “bad”/nsfw ships, which is what I did. it’s not so bad actually we could be like the stark.er fandom which is a bunch of sideblogs sending each other horny anons abt their ship.....

honestly if you don’t feel comfortable doin it on your main you should TOTALLY make a sideblog because even if you don’t have a lot of followers shouting into the void and reblogging content alone can make you really happy.

THERES NO GOOD ANSWER anon but i hope to see u enjoying more content soon :)

#i LOVE knowing ive shown people the LIGHT!!!#trash pile queries #i feel your pain i remember trying to be nasty on main when i first started shipping slad.e and tar.a......#Anonymous #asks

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swearronchanel · 7 years

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6.08, my last commentary™ R I P to me

I wanted to post this right away but my phone died and I broke my charger so I had to handle that but now I’m finally able to. I’m literally dead, I STILL can not process how amazing it was. So I’ll just get on with it post my earlier thoughts

¡¡TODAY IS THE DAY AHH!! IM FREAKING LATE KILL ME

BUT HOW ARE WE ALREADY HERE? IM NOT READY FOR THIS SERIES TO END BUT I NEED TO SEE SHELGAH *SAFELY* GIVE BIRTH TO A HEALTHY BABY. ANYWAY IM LITERALLY GOING TO DIE AFTER THIS EPISODE SO ENJOY THE FINAL THOUGHTS OF MY LIFE, LETS GET IT ..

MY HEART IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE ITS BEATING SO FAST

TBH I MIGHT SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

SCREW THESE CREDITS BUT I NEED THEM BC IM NOT READY OMG

IM SCREAMING

aw baby! & hey val

Does this mean Delia had No letters from pats this whole time??

MY BBY SHELAGH OMG HER BELLY

SHE CANT REACH HER SHOE OMG SO PRECIOUS THOUGH

Sister MJ I love u 😭😂

Family planning clinic!

YES VAL! they’re women not criminals !!

YES TRIXIE THANKS BBY FOR SPEAKING UP

aww poor Barbara

“..There are tales of missionaries served for luncheon in those climes” LMAO OMG SISTER MJ THATS NOT WHAT SHE NEEDS TO HEAR RIGHT NOW

It’s so sweet that Babs really wants her dad, I feel. My grandfather officiated my parents’ and brother’s wedding, I hope he does mine. If someone wants to marry me one day ofc lol 😂😭

SHELAGH IS ACTUALLY YELLING .. WHY DO I LOVE IT?

All the shit she’s been through/delt with and pregnancy sets her off huh..

BUT TRIXE AND SHEALGH INTERACTING YESS NOT THE WAY I WANTED BUT ILL TAKE IT FOR NOW

AWW MY BBY CRYING SOMEONE HUG HER 😭😭💕💕

MY BBY TRIXIE IS SMIRKING AT MY OTHER BBY LOL STOP 😭😭💔

“Hot and bothered” 😭😂 Violet having hot flashes. That’s not funny but i giggled I’m sorry immature of me

I can’t imagine being around when the pill was just coming out(or antibiotics even) like that must have been so wild ? you really would think they were magic *remember Vanessa Redgrave saying that in series 2?*

my mom is a nurse at a gyn/fertility office and she informed me of so much at a young age lol maybe that’s why I’m so curious idk?

lol I remember being like 13 and my friends didn’t know there was more than just the pill when it came to birth control and I really felt I was an expert😂 but *a judge’s voice* irrelevance moving on.

Needing your husbands permisson for a bank account? *sucks teeth* Vete ya!

Aw my bby shelagh 💔💔😭

“And I’ll warrant you’ve never felt more scared” I AM! AND THIS ISNT EVEN MY FICTIONAL PREGNANCY

“Oh lass“😭 PHYLLIS COMFORTING HER OMG I AM CRYING ALREADY, I NEVER KNEW I WANTED THIS

"Phyllis you’ve been a real friend” IM NOT OKAY OMG, THEY’VE COME SO FAR I CRY

OMG SHELAGH BEING SO CUTE WTF OMGGG 💖

PROTECT MY BBY & HER BABY AT ALL COSTS 💕💕

THE NONNATUNs CHEERING SO PURE 😭

“What if something goes wrong?” stop tempting fate Patrick !!

“I’ve made up my mind” MY BBY I CANT DEAL .. once upon a time she couldn’t speak up and was so timid 😭 my bby has grown

Her lipstick is a nice color, wait what’s this lady’s name?

The nurses all together makes me so happy omg why is this so adorable, even Phyllis is there !! SO PURE💕

Lol poor Fred tries his best !

Damn secondment to st Cuthberts, I guess Trixie couldn’t even be considered for to be Shelagh’s midwife

SHELAGH IN THE CARDIGAN >>

OF COURSE SHE CHOSE SISTER JULIENNE WE WOULDN’T HAVE ACCEPTED IT ANY OTHER WAY

“‘MY DEAR” BRB DROWNING IN TEARS

but omg was Phyllis disappointed 😭 no don’t be hurt that’s her basically her mother! (sister j and Phyllis would’ve been a good tag team though)

this montage just reminds me brb #irresponsibleme

Future Hereward’s take a note from the Turners, find out about each other sooner rather than later

LOL TOM’S AWKWARD FACE BC BABS IS GETTING CONTRACEPTION

it’s Wilma! her name is Wilma, noted.

Lol what does she sell? Is the company like Avon ? 😂I’m confused but also screaming too much internally

poor Babs is so nervous and feeling awkward 😂

Her face while on the bed😂 I feel

LMAO BABS TAKING OUT THE DIAPHRAGM & DROPPING IT HA

BUT WAIT THAT WAS THE TURNERS BATHROOM WTF ??

Patrick putting on or tying Shelagh’s shoes my fucking heart is melting

She doesn’t want him there .. for now?

“..We’re a team” 😭😭💕💕 marriage goals

“The minute I look at you I’ll give you everything you ask for” BRB I AM INDEED GOING TO SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

I CAN NOT DEAL

Phyllis exercising 😭😂

“I have chosen one of my friends” OMG MY HEART

PHYLLIS BE MY BRIDESMAID !??

why does she only have one though? is it more like a maid of honor?

HERES COME MORE TEARS

THE SPANISH AYE DIOS MI CORAZON

Aw good for Wilma being happy with her job! Does everyone call the sofa the settee?

There’s that babycham! Still was never sure if it was alcoholic or nah? sparkling cider maybe?

OMG I HAVE A BOTTLE IN MY BAG THAT I BROUGHT FROM FLORIDA

new drinking came, shots every time the show makes you cry lol jk i’d be on the floor 20 mins in

that sports car aye

My bby looking good 😍😍

she knows what it’s like to be hurt Christopher😭

You’re not supposed to take 3 at a time Wilma, I’ve been scolded enough

Okay so Babs just fell asleep and that’s all?? Preview made it seem more dramatic

Now is Val going to listen and not touch anything? lol probably

Violet always rocking blue eyeshadow haha

Is that a silicone faja?? that looks hella uncomfortable

TRIXIE’S FACE OF DISGUST HAHA

OMG THE FAM HELPING OUT WITH FUNDS MY HEART

I WANT TO BE APART OF THE NONNATUS FAMILY!

PHYLLIS AND BABS DRESS SHOPPING I LOVE THIS

“.. she’ll have me to reckon with” TE QUERIO MUCHO PHYLLIS

I NEED A PHYLLIS IN MY LIFE

SHE HAS A FAV DRESS OMG I LOVE HER

HER FACE OMG I NEED THAT SCREENSHOTTED

SHELAGH MY BBY😭😭

Their new bedroom is so 60s I love it

She still didn’t read the pamphlet !! I love her omg, such pure intentions

OMG SISTER J REMINISCING, AH FINALLY SOME ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT SHE WAS A NUN, I AM SOBBING BYEE IM DYING. MY HEART RATE IS SLOWING DOWN

POOR DEELS AW OMG she doesn’t deserve this, she barely has screen time don’t hurt her

Shealgh’s got another nightgown! 1962/2017 is apparently the year of nighties #thebrinylonforthewinthough

I love pink waffers 😭😂

SHIT WHAT’S WRONG WITH WILMA IM SCARED, IS IT A HEART ATTACK?? BLOOD CLOT??

poor vi!! aww she misses reggie too!

AW FRED HUG HER

and he’s fanning her omg so pure

SHEALGH’S GOING IN TO LABOR ?? AHHHHH OMGG IM NOT READY

but also she has a housecoat how cute

SISTER J SAID “HIS SPINE” OMG HOW DOES SHE KNOW ALREADY

“I knew it” bless u bby😭😭 she is a GEM. WHY IS SHE SO LOVABLE?

omg Wilma don’t die, Trixie can u save her 😭

shit not looking good, maybe this was the death they meant

shelagh throwing up yikes

“She’s smiling and waving” yea we know that smiling and waving😂😂 but omg doesn’t this remind anyone of when you’ve been partying too hard but you’re trying to convince your friends that you’re not ready to tap out yet😂😭

if not nevermind I’ll feel trashy lmaoo

PASS THAT GAS AND AIR SISTER J

AW BBY YOU ARE BRAVE!!!!!!!

IM CRYING BUT RUNNING OUT OF TEARS

HOW TF DOES LAURA LOOK GORGEOUS ALL SWEATY AND IN TEARS WHILE PRETENDING TO BE IN LABOR?? & i’m still a creature?

Poor Patrick! He must be going as crazy as I am!

I DONT HAVE ASTHMA BUT I NEED AN INHALER BC I CANT BREATHE IM SO ANXIOUS OMG

IM NOT A SMOKER BUT I FEEL LIKE I NEED A CIGG BC IM ABOUT TO LOSE IT

Trixie is doing Wilma’s makeup omg I can’t take this 😭💔💔

“I can’t believe I used to dream of this” OMG SHELAGH & SISTER J

“Every woman alive is the sum of all she ever did, and felt, and was.” ..“and how do you know that?” ..“ i wasn’t aware that I did until just now”

¡¡¡IM A W R E C K!!! l o v e that

SHE IS SINGING DORIS DAY’s SECRET LOVE AND I AM F*CKING DEAD GOODBYE

PATRICK SINGING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR SOMEONE SEND H E L P IM DYING I BET IT’S “THEIR SONG” & YOU ARE ALL CORDIALLY INVITED TO MY FUNERAL IMMEDIATELY AFTER THIS EPISODE

I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT

“We can’t just be like any other couple.. because we’re us”

MY HEART WTF I SWEAR IT IS ABOUT TO BURST BUT IT’S NOT BEATING

IM DEAD INSIDE AND MY BODY WILL FOLLOW WHEN THIS IS OVER

Get in there Patrick!

“The children are here” .. to say goodnight omg no😢

OMG PATRICK HOLDING HER I AM FUCKING SCREAMING

“YOU CLEVER GIRL” OMGG WHO CALLED IT

I CANT SEE WHATS HAPPENING TOO MANY TEARS IN MY EYES

IT’S A BOY I KNEW IT WELL I HAD A FEELING !

BABYTURNERLAND 2.0!!!! QUE LINDO DIOS TE BENDIGA 💖👼🏼

WHAT IS HIS NAME???

THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE OF MY LIFE WOW I CANT PROCESS IT ALL

“May the lord bless you and keep you” OMGGG, JESUS HEIDI WTF ARE YOU DOING TO ME ??!! I’ve never been so invested in a show or fictional characters’ lives like this 😭😭

I NEVER THOUGHT WE’D SEE THIS DAY AND IM HAVING SO MANY FEELS, I BARELY HAVE ANY THOUGHTS I AM S h o o k, I AM NOTHING IN THIS WORLD. JUST USELESS TRASH FOR CTM

WELL, ALMOST 19 YEARS OF LIVING WAS GOOD ENOUGH RIGHT?

HONESTLY JUST PUT ME IN THE GARBAGE BC I HAVE NOTHING OF SUBSTANCE TO SAY IM JUST GUSHING AND DYING

BUT SERIOUSLY LAURA MAIN IS I N C R E D I B L E AND DESERVES EVERY AWARD SO PLEASE GET IT TOGETHER @ THE EMMYS, THE SAGS, THE GOLDEN GLOBES & ALL OTHER AWARDS OF ALL PRESTIGE!! STOP PLAYING GAMES & GIVE LAURA + CTM THE RECOGNITION IT DESERVES !! & no excuses it happened for downton!

NO WILMA IS DEAD NO

The pill is so great and useful and miraculous in a way but I’m glad they showed some of its issues but DID THEY REALLY HAVE TO KILL THE FIRST WOMEN THEY GAVE IT TO? I’m still here tho, I’m rolling

NO TOM DONT SAY THaT WTF? TRIXIE IS OVER U AND U ARE OVER HER don’t ruin the moment

why did I think bab’s dad was the rev Applebee Thornton 😭😂😂😂?? where’s Jane lol

My bby trixie serving looks as always 😍😍

Aw his daughter is cute

CHRISTOPHER LOOKS GOOD TOO UGH😍

What are knickerbocker glories?

lol Boots! lowkey want to go there to satisfy my 15 year old self who liked to watch British youtubers affordable makeup videos (tbh I still do when I’m bored)

REGGIE! OMG HE CALLED VI MUM I DIE

OH YEA THE WEDDING OMG LOL I DONT FORGOT FOR A SEC

IM STILL SCREAMING, MY FREAKING BBY JUST HAD A MIRACLE BABY !!!!! I LEGIT RAN OUT OF TEARS WHAT DO I DO

LOOK HOW FAR WE HAVE COME MY GOD

THE GIRLS SINGING “HAPPY WEDDING DAY” TO BABS OMG THAT WAS GREAT, I NEED FRIENDS LIKE THAT

I NEED TO WATCH THIS AGAIN AND IT DIDNT FINISH YET

LMAO TOM AND FRED HUNGOVER, relatable AF😂😭

SO IS TOM’S SURPRISE IS MONEY? Or is he going to buy her something!?

Barbara’s cape reminds me of Phoebe’s from FRIENDS

The stain glass !! love it

PHYLLIS LOOKS SO ADORABLE OMG HER BOUCLE SUIT AW

WHY A HEADBAND ON YOUR WEDDING DAY BABs? BUT good for them lol 😭 I don’t care enough at the moment but let them be happy they’re so great for each other !

HE GOT A FUCKING CAROUSEL OMG

damn. Nice one Tom. I’m a little jealous, someone needs to love me like that.😭

“At times, the present seems most perfect when it seeds lie in the past. And others, life is rendered flawless when we look towards future, glimpsing from within one golden moment all the joys the days to come might hold” 💕😢😭

THE TURNERS, NOW A FAMILY OF 5 OMGGGGGGG 😭😭

THE NUNS SO PURE ❣️ lol obviously

“We can not stand still because the world keeps turning. Every year must give way to the next and it’s stories must be folded, tucked away like children’s clothes outgrown, cherished and never quite forgotten”

VANNESSA ALWAYS SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS UGH

Aw Angela with Tim!

My BBY SHELAGH IN HER BLUE OUTFIT WITH UNNAMED BABY TURNER ID CRY IF I COULD

“1962 was a year of great change at Nonnatus House, but there’s always change, everywhere, there are always new faces, new tears to shed, new joys to invest in , yet the circle of love is not broken, it expands.” YOU GOT THAT RIGHT🙏🏼👏🏼🙌🏻😭😭😢😢💖💖

I NEED THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL LIKE TOMORROW PLEASE

lol Val screaming it’s snowing 😭 same

PATSY!!!

SHE AND DELIA KISSED OMG

GOOD FOR THEM 😭

ALSO GOOD FOR ME bc I was tired of the same complaints that BBC broke them apart and Patsy was “sent away” nah man Emerald was busy!

“Love bares all things, love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things and love never ends”

THIS WAS INCREDIBLE WOW IM A MESS

IF I DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE COMMISSONED FOR 3 MORE SERIES I’D THINK THIS WAS THE END??

BUT UGH NOW WE MUST WAIT

ANYWAY I SEE THE LIGHT FOLKS

IDK IF THIS IS HELL OR HEAVEN BUT I AM DEAD, I SEE THE EARTH BEHIND ME

TBH ITS PROB HELL

Someone throw me in the damn ground already!!

In loving memory of Gabby Nuñez (1998-2017) taken far too soon because of the emotional toll brought by call the midwife, she didn’t choose to get so emotionally invested it just happened. She is grateful for her time on earth, you may leave comments, flowers or send money. Thank you for putting up with her nonsense and foolishness *now someone give my eulogy & someone else may come up and sing a hymn to conclude*

#call the midwife #I am certified TRASH FOR THIS SHOW #IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL #MY GRINCH HEART GREW BEFORE IT DIED #lets get it 1962 #MY BBY HAD A BABY #ILL NEVER BE OVER IT #masterpost #my commentaries™

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recentanimenews · 6 years

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Crunchyroll Favorites 2017: Video Games

What a wild year it's been for gaming. Nintendo has thrown down the gauntlet with the Switch and its unbelievable roster of exclusives but they're far from the only company mixing things up and putting out some astounding exclusives. Following Part One about our favorite anime and manga, Part Two will cover our favorite video games from the plethora of hit releases in 2017!

PETER FOBIAN (@PeterFobian)

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: The obvious choice (get used to seeing it on this list). Breath of the Wild probably impressed me more than any other game this year, taking Zelda and the open world platform to new heights in the most clever, brave way imaginable. This game lets you do whatever you want, giving you access to an immense number of tools to drive you to solve problems in ways the designers probably never thought of. Or, at least, you might believe they hadn’t if the world wasn’t brimming with small interactions we’re still discovering to this day. Even the story is a clever take on the usual defeating Ganon formula. I felt Nintendo was slipping during the Wii U days but they easily dominated this years releases.

NieR: Automata: Or, at least, I say that, but now I’m gonna talk about a bunch of PS4 titles. NieR was quite the narrative journey and did some immensely cool things with its story you could only see in a video game, replaying the same events from different perspectives then building upon them into brand new arcs. The game had its aesthetic sense on lock, complete with one of the best soundtracks I’ve ever heard. The glimmer of hope residing at the end of such an oppressively sad world was a tremendous conclusion. I just wish there had been more. There are elements in the game where I feel Yoko Taro teasing DLC content that he knew would never come. That asshole.

Horizon Zero Dawn: Another open-world game that was willing to invest in its setting. The world of HZD is awesome, aesthetically, functionally, and narratively. It also feels complete. Rather than the usual fetch quests you can expect in this sort of title, every mission has its own story and serves to expand your understanding of the various cultures of the world. The main plot is a wonderful dive into the history that brought this world about featuring a partnership of convenience between two characters whose arguments I could listen to for hours. The relationship between Aloy and Sylens is fantastic. The gameplay is fantastic. The world is fantastic.

Nioh: This game got a lot of flak out of the gate for being a Souls-like but it’s risen to that challenge and done some great things all its own with a deeper combat system featuring a variety of stances, combos, tools and unlockable techniques. The aesthetic is also spot on and, while it doesn’t have the same cinematic approach, delivers a cool environment with enemies just as frustratingly hard. If I have one complaint, it’s that the game went for a more numbers-heavy approach featuring RNG drops and complex crafting system that kept me in menus while I’d rather be exploring. All-in-all the game felt great to play and never felt like it was slowing down. You could even collect pokemon!

ECHO: I feel like I’ve been waiting for the release announcement for this game for an eternity since I first played a demo at PAX two years ago. This game touches on all my favorite aesthetic hallmarks, taking place in a nightmarish superstructure that is equal parts Giger and Blame!, alternating between immaculate palaces and criss crossing walkways over a dark abyss. The story is a particularly satisfying space opera and includes a unique gameplay mechanic controlling the enemy AI that feeds right into the horror of the setting. It’s a horrifically beautiful achievement and a MUST. PLAY.

Persona 5: My first experience with the Persona series has been memorable and I definitely now understand the obsessive following these games have earned. P5 has a crazy awesome sense of style and a great cast of characters with individual stories that build up to some seriously anime cathartic moments. Pretty much every characters unmasking was a memorable highlight and synced up nicely with the games through line of defying oppressive authority. I wish they’d gone a bit further, done a few things better, and loosed up a but on what players can do in the game. All the same I’ll be right there with everyone else in 2117 when Persona 6 comes out.

Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice: I love this game not only for what it is but what it represents. Long time fan of Ninja Theory and this game makes me a diehard. Hellblade's aim to release an “independent AAA game” is just what the industry needs right now with franchises and studios falling victim to microtransaction based monetization and getting gutted by major publishers. I hope to see a ton more of these in the year to come. The game itself was well-worth the price tag, a fascinating descent into hell that had a few clever tricks and an interesting representation of auditory hallucination that added to the atmosphere. More of this, more Ninja Theory.

Guilty Gear Xrd 2: Everyone has their fighting game and mine is Guilty Gear. The franchise went through a notable low point releasing Guilty Gear Xrd without Baiken, but thankfully ArkSys recovered and is back with part 2 and the good content. They’ve tightened some of the bolts from the previous releases along with character specific changes. I’m loving the new kits on all my main. ArkSys’s 3D/2D style continues to set the visual standard for 2D fighters. The only thing I’m not crazy about is Millia’s hat. If they add ABA then this will truly be the perfect game.

Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus: Although I’d never played Wolfenstein before this year, I was understandably attracted to the marketing efforts of Bethesda to promote this title. I was wholly unprepared for the over-the-top narrative experience it provided, coming closer to Saints Row levels of ludicrous plot twists and characterization without compromising it’s blood-in-the-dirt aesthetic. The writing walks a razor's edge between horrific and hilarious while fearlessly drawing similarities between the Wolfenstein world and modern day America. It’s wild that Blazkowicz feels so real, even melancholic, with everything that surrounds him.

Uncharted 4: The Lost Legacy DLC: Lost Legacy solved what was incontrovertibly the biggest problem with Uncharted 4. No Chloe. It pulled one better by bringing back the best new character from the main title, Nadine in an unexpected partnership that worked better than I could have imagined. Rather than a fun side mission, Naughty Dog spent a lot of time using past events to build a compelling narrative around both characters and their unlikely partnership with all the same cinematic highlights as the main title. It wasn’t quite the unforgettable experience as Uncharted 4, but it was quality DLC that barely exists in a industry chopping up IPs to sell them in pieces.

RENE KAYSER (@kayserlein)

Persona 5: There are three titles that I carry as the triumvirate of “Games that changed me in who I am”. One of these three is Persona 4 which helped me get through the worst part of my youth. And while never got tired of Atlus’ spin-offs of that title like some people did, I certainly was hyped for the new entry in the series. It didn’t quite hit the mark for me that 3 and 4 did but it gave me an absolutely fantastic 99 hours of thievery and intrigue. I just wish they’d given us more Social Events to hang out with the entire group …

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NieR: Automata: It’s quite something to not only get one but two sequels to life-changing games in a single year (Number Three in my triumvirate is Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII which introduced me to Japanese games in general). The original Nier broadened the horizon of what you can do with videogame storytelling for young 16-year-old me and while Automata didn’t hit me that hard, it still managed to let me reflect a lot on my actions as a gamer (I still feel bad for getting *that* trophy). I just hope that Square remasters the first game one day so I can reunite with its characters once more.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: No franchise in the world means as much to me as Zelda. I went through every single entry (not counting the CDI ones - I’m no maniac!) and know almost every dungeon by heart. BOTW has recaptured that old magic of (re-)conquering an entire kingdom and sucked a whopping 120 hours out of me before I knew it. It may have certain weaknesses (mainly in the story department) but that doesn’t take away from the utter magnificence Nintendo has gifted us with. I only wish they’d tell us something definite about its timeline placement (My money’s on the Convergence theory).

Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony: Kazutaka Kodaka is a goddamn genius. He, Kotaro Uchikoshi and Ryukishi07 are probably some of my favorite writers ever and in the newest entry of his murdery series, he once again presents us with this unique mix of comedy and horror only he can concoct. Its second and third case slow the game down a bit but the final two will turn anyone’s brain upside down and put it through the blender in a way you’ll never forgot. To write anything more, would delve into spoilers but if you haven’t gotten into this franchise until now, you’re definitely missing out!

Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus: I have a long-standing love for fictional (!) nazis. Part of it is certainly due to the gruesome part of German history which lets you easily villainize them without any need for characterization but also a remaining excitement of of the forbidden (all nazi content is stripped out in the German version of the franchise, so I have to resort to imports). Shooting nazis itself would be fun enough but Machine Games’ reboot trilogy somehow still gives it one of the best and most moving video game narratives in years which leaves me yearning for its final chapter. The cherry on top of the already delicious cake is the German dialogue which was voiced by fantastic German actors (who were sadly replaced by less fitting ones in the local version) which enhances the atmosphere tremendously by not copping out with using American actors with a funny accent and no actual dialogue like every other game with nazis. Even if you’re not into shooters, you should give the Wolfenstein reboot a try - it might really surprise you with its story.

Super Mario Odyssey: Here I go thinking that Nintendo just put out something that they can hardly match again for at least half a decade … and they do it within the same year! BOTW was already great but Mario Odyssey cemented 2017 as the year Nintendo returned to form. Not since Mario 64 did it bring me this much fun to play as our favorite plumber (though he did quit that job) and I find it highly possible that his newest game might even go down in history as being superior to his first 3D outing.

The Nintendo Switch and basically everything on it: This list of mine already carries two Switch games on it - but I could easily put down everything else on the system. While its portability might seem like a gimmick to outsiders, it opens up every system you play on it incredibly. Even if you’re mostly at home and work from there (like me), the comfort to pick it up and play another 30 minutes in bed before you’re sleeping adds so much to the experience that I can hardly put it into words. Skyrim, Doom, Xenoblade, Stardew Valley, Splatoon 2, Resident Evil - the list goes on and on and each week I’m overwhelmed by new announcements of both indie games I’ve been meaning to check out for a long time but also ports of bigger titles on this hardware. Not since my PS One have I been so in love with a system itself and with how things are going, the Switch might easily become my favorite gaming console ever created.

KARA DENNISON (@rubycosmos)

Resident Evil VII: This game messed me up something fierce -- in all the best ways, of course. I can understand why opinion is divided in some cases, but it’s so atmospheric and so entrenched in its own lore that it’s just fascinating to get lost in. And I love a game that blurs the line between gameplay and cutscenes to the point that you’re not even sure what’s under your control anymore. That’s some good horror.

Doki Doki Literature Club: The first release from indie studio Team Salvato, an OEL dating sim with a poetry-driven storyline. And -- funny story -- it just magically appeared in my Steam gifts. I still don’t know who sent it to me. But whoever it was, I owe them big thanks because it was just the kind of VN I love. The art is absolutely gorgeous, and it’s got a great story you’ll want to explore multiple times. High points of the game: hanging out with Sayori, a long weekend with Yuri, and finally getting some time alone with club president Monika!

Fate/Grand Order (US release): Of course this was going to make my list: I can build an army of nothing but different female King Arthurs. The story is entertaining for history and folklore buffs, and it’s also a great (read: inescapable) entry point to the Fate franchise.

NICK CREAMER (@b0bduh)

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: From the first moments I started playing Breath of the Wild, I realized this game signaled the end of one era and the beginning of another. Through its gorgeous world, incredibly rewarding base gameplay, and infinite secrets to discover, Breath of the Wild redefines what we can expect from open world games, solving the issue of vast yet unsatisfying worlds in one definitive strike. I can only hope that future games steal as much as they can from Breath of the Wild’s bountiful innovations.

Nioh: Nioh’s appeal is pretty simple: place the satisfying, skill-intensive combat of a Dark Souls-style game in the circular loot-grind context of a Diablo-like, speed everything up by about thirty percent, and let it fly. The end result is likely the most successful riff yet on the Souls/Bloodborne subgenre, a game that can happily stand beside its spiritual inspiration.

Nier: Automata: Automata is undoubtedly the messiest game on this list, containing a vast number of minor gameplay failings and larger issues of overarching pacing and structure. And yet, no other game I played this year can match Automata’s narrative ambitions, or its soaring dramatic heights. Automata brings you to your lowest possible point in order to drive home that even at the end of everything, hope survives. Technical issues aside, a message told this creatively and well deserves all the accolades it can get.

Persona 5: Persona 5 was also messy in a variety of ways, like its occasionally unsatisfying dungeons, and especially its frustratingly conditional perspective on society’s “outsiders.” But from its endlessly endearing cast to its utterly best-in-class art design, Persona 5 also offers a vast array of astonishing strengths. I’ll still be thinking fondly of my time with the Phantom Thieves for a long time to come.

Resident Evil VII: Sometimes saving a franchise means going back to the drawing board. So it was with Resident Evil VII, which ditched all the bloated excess of the franchise’s recent entries in order to zero in on the fundamentals of horror: intimacy, isolation, implication, and, uh, insects. Lots of gross insects. Vast segments of Resident Evil VII play out as a horror experience so tightly composed that it really feels like you’re trapped in a beloved horror movie. It’s like twelve straight hours of opening a door that you really, really, really don’t want to open.

THOMAS ZOTH (@ABCBTom)

NieR: Automata: Nier: Automata isn’t my favorite Yoko Taro game, but it’s the one that has established him as a creative voice and given him the tools and funding to keep delivering punishing Drakengard games for me, so I am beyond thrilled by its reception. Taro is truly a gaming auteur who enjoys playing with the expectations about what videogames must do and must be, frustrating and infuriating players with his obtuse cruelty and making them love him for it. Once you’ve finished Automata, play Drakengard 3 and the original Nier as well.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2: Xenoblade sneaks in just under the line, and I haven’t made it very far, but both Xenoblade and Xenoblade X were my favorite games of their respective years, so it’s safe to say I will love this one all the way through. Not as big a fan of this game’s more kawaii artstyle, but the story is still willing to go unexpected places and allow you to explore gigantic, overwhelming worlds. Plus, the game’s awful map system is getting a patch so I have no real complaints. Xenoblade is my favorite modern RPG series and one that’s not to be missed.

Super Mario Odyssey: A game that feels like the direct sequel to Mario 64, allowing for the feeling of exploration Sunshine and Galaxy lost. I love the possession mechanic, I love the bizarre uncanny valley situations where Mario interacts with humans, and I love New Donk City’s Festival. I’ve cooled on Mario platformers a lot in recent years but this reminded me why I spent so much time collecting 120 stars in Mario 64.

Persona 5: I know all of the problems with Persona 5, gameplay-wise, narrative-wise, and character-wise, and I agree with all of it. The game is massively flawed, and could have been so much better. AND YET… AND YET the fundamentals of Persona 5 are so strong that even with this burden it’s still one of my favorite games of the year. The gang of misfits that made up the Phantom Thieves are my family and the music is divine. I hope the game spawns all of the 100 spinoff cash-ins that Persona 4 did, because I will probably get them all.

The Legeond of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: I hate open world games, because they always present a procedurally generated landscape of vacant mountains and palette swapped ninjas. You are free to go anywhere, but there is nothing to do. Until Breath of the Wild, that is, which has a marvelous curated world made with the help of the wizards at Monolith Soft. The game has three problems. When it rains, you can’t climb. Running depletes stamina, making it hard to fast travel. There are horses, but riding a horse is pointless, because you have to leave it behind to go exploring. That’s it: Everything else is perfect. Play it.

JOSEPH LUSTER (@Moldilox)

Super Mario Odyssey: Odyssey is the ultimate fulfillment of the promise Super Mario 64 made over 20 years ago. As much as I loved the Galaxy games, Nintendo went even further on Switch, providing the ideal playground for Mario and his absurdly athletic abilities. Taking control of enemies is always a pleasure, and I still haven’t uncovered half of what’s hidden within Odyssey’s jam-packed worlds.

NieR: Automata: Yoko Taro is a genius, and NieR: Automata deserves all the success and acclaim it has received since launch. There may be moments where some things don’t click just right—including the fairly repetitive combat and some dull locales—but the whole is so delightful that it’s tough to really care about those faults. The immense soundtrack is icing on this introspective, humanity-questioning cake.

Resident Evil VII: The latest entry in Capcom’s storied franchise is a return to form in many ways. Despite the perspective switch and an ever-so-slightly more grounded setup, things get buckwild pretty fast. Throw in classically stupid objectives like finding three dog heads to open an old rural house’s door and you have exactly what I want from survival horror.

Nioh: Team Ninja is back! Nioh gave me the first good taste of their sweet, sweet take on action games since Ninja Gaiden II, all with a heaping helping of FromSoftware inspiration on top. Nioh is much more complex than it appears on its surface, so even the most dedicated of players should have their hands full unraveling the various systems and making them work in each increasingly challenging scenario.

Horizon Zero Dawn: Guerrilla Games’ PS4 hit is hands-down the most gorgeous game I played all year. While the main story is worth pursuing, the thrill of the hunt is at the core of Horizon Zero Dawn. It’s always exciting, and occasionally frustrating, to run into a mechanical beast you have no hope of toppling… only to emerge triumphant! Those moments never get old, and the variety of locations makes this one the poster child for Photo Mode.

ISAAC AKERS (@iblessall)

Atelier Firis: The Alchemist and the Mysterious Journey: My pick for game of the year isn’t one of the big JRPG titles, but the second in a trio of understated games from Gust commemorating the Atelier series’ 20th anniversary. I was inspired to pick up the game thanks to a beautiful article written by a friend of mind, and I was delighted to find one of the most expansive, relaxing, engaging, and rewarding game worlds I’ve ever experienced. Firis isn’t the flashiest game of the year, but the way it allows you to just sink into its comfortable rhythms astounded me.

NieR: Automata: I’ve got my reservations about Automata as a story, but one thing I can give it uninhibited praise for is its ability to create vivid experiential pockets within its world. Automata is not just rich in its colorful conceptualization of its world, but also in ideas, and the blend of themes, incredible music, beautiful locals, and its tendency to bat for the emotional stands resulted in some moments that stand out as truly stunning amongst my gaming experiences of the year. The ability to create those moments, whether they last a few seconds or a few minutes, ought not to be overlooked amongst Automata’s other strengths and flaws.

Uta Macross: To balance out my unusual engagement with actual console games, I must of course return to the place I spend most of my gaming time: mobage (which I found out this year is pronounced “mo-ba-ge” and not “mob-age”). A Macross rhythm game has been a wish near to my heart for years, and with the 35th anniversary providing a clear justification for it, it finally happened. At last, I can tap my phone screen to the rhythm of “Ikenai Borderline,” “POWER TO THE DREAM,” and “Universal Bunny.” It actually wound up being a little less exciting than expected since I already listen to Macross music constantly, but a long-standing wish fulfilled is nothing to sneeze at.

Tokyo 7th Sisters: On the other side of the spectrum is a mobile game I’ve been playing for longer than I can remember – Tokyo 7th Sisters. Although I played quite a bit during the year (it was my game of choice in my hotel room during long work trips), the most rewarding part of being a fan of the game came with a wholesale update of the whole thing, from the actual rhythm game to the way gacha points are handled. All those changes have gotten me back into the game in a big way, and excited for what mobage BS the game will give me in 2018.

CALLUM MAY (@CanipaShow)

Persona 5: In 2014, I bought a custom t-shirt based on the original teaser trailer of Persona 5. It had 4 chairs on it with balls and chain attached to the legs and one white chair in the middle. It was a bit of cool symbolism for the game’s eventual themes and I was so impatient that I didn’t want to wait for the official merchandise, I wanted to make my own. When the game was released in 2017, that t-shirt had faded beyond recognition and is now just a red t-shirt with a white chair on it. Everything I love about Persona 5 has probably already been written above, but despite how many times the game was delayed and despite how much that shirt faded, it still became my favourite game ever.

Danganronpa V3: Never have I wanted a game creator to kick me in the shins more than Kazutaka Kodaka. He wouldn’t do it upon prompt, instead he’d kick me down at the most ironic and heartbreaking of times. He never does anything in halves. It’s always better, crazier and more dramatic than ever. I often promise to myself that I will pace things out, that I will try to balance work and playing through the trials of Danganronpa. But in the end, I always end up engrossed in an ever expanding spiral of mystery that delights, confuses and surprises me, sometimes even up to the early hours of the morning.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2: I’ve steadily been warming to the Xenoblade Chronicles combat and world design over the past two entries, but Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is the first time I’ve felt like I really need to see this through to the end. With a large, but manageable diverse world set atop titans wading through a sea of clouds, Xenoblade Chronicles 2 exists and strives with its own set of distinctive rules. The sea is made of clouds, the cloud level rises and dips because the Titans are always moving and if you’re a main character, your outfit is ridiculous. All very important rules that Xenoblade Chronicles 2 sticks to. Existing as a more streamlined version of previous iterations, Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is a brilliant adventure that succeeds more than it fails at keeping you on track.

NATASHA H (@illegenes)

NieR: Automata: What to say about a game where already so much has been said? Nier: Gestalt was one of my favorite games of all time, so I had big expectations for the sequel, and it easily surpassed them. Haunting, nihilistic, melancholic, and searingly human, Nier: Automata encompasses so much of what I love in a good post-apocalyptic story about androids and robots. And yet it’s so much more than that, constantly evolving on nearly every structural level possible and delivering an emotionally exhausting but satisfying game about empathy, violence, and what it means to be human. Aided by a stunning soundtrack, beautiful visuals, and fantastic voice acting, this game will hold a special place in my heart for years to come.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: I’ve always liked Zelda games, but BOTW surpassed all of my expectations for what the game could be like. Rarely has a game felt like it was tailored for me while also respecting me. The amount of things there are to explore, to experiment with, and to interact with are beyond me, and yet, 70 hours in, I feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface. The game invites curiosity in ways I’ve never seen, and I’ve got plans that may take up months, if not even years, of gameplay. There is something so delicately beautiful in Breath of the Wild - a world worth exploring and saving, and I can assuredly say that it’s my favorite game of the year (if not many years) alongside NieR: Automata.

Final Fantasy XV: I wasn’t sure what to expect of a game that’s been in developmental hell for almost a decade - at one point I was fairly convinced it was never going to happen. But happen it did, and while Final Fantasy XV is filled with flaws, technical and story-wise, it also has some of the most emotionally intense highs I’ve seen in a Final Fantasy game. Square Enix easily sold me on these four boys and their friendship, and I shed many tears along the way of their tumultuous and strange journey. They’re good boys, Brent.

Cuphead: I have only two things to say about Cuphead. One: The animation is sublime. Two: It is absolutely infuriating(ly addictive).

SAM WOLFE (@_Samtaro)

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: I know that just about everyone else contributing to this article is going to write about this game, and rightly so; The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild was spellbinding. After being delayed from 2015, to 2016, to “when it’s ready”, Breath of the Wild had a lot to live up to and yet still surpassed almost everyone’s expectations. Nintendo took a very big risk in deviating from their standard Zelda formula to give players a game that trusts them to be competent. In the first few weeks of release, I kept hearing the same thing from my colleagues playing the game “this one is really hard”, “the combat is like a puzzle,” “it’s so difficult!” Breath of the Wild doesn’t pull any punches, it expects players to meet it at its level. It allows you to get lost, it allows you to make mistakes, it allows you to wander around Hyrule for hours doing whatever you want, yet still somehow results in you having made progress.

Breath of the Wild’s bleak setting is also fresh to the Zelda series. You, Link, the hero of whatever timeline this game takes place in, have woken up one hundred years too late; the party’s over, and the bad guys won. While the NPCs you encounter still have the same Zelda charm you’d come to expect, they’re all a little fatigued. Almost no one believes you are the hero you say you are, and nobody expects things to get any better. It’s a cynical world that only you have the power to fill with hope again.

More than anything else though, Breath of the Wild rewards players for how much time they spend in the world. I think the simplicity of the final scene is brilliant, calling out players who may have sprinted towards the ending. I won’t spoil it, but I will say that when you get to the final cutscene, it’s short, it’s simple, and if you’ve spent enough time in Hyrule to remember why you started this crazy quest in the first place, it’s satisfying.

Hearthstone: Kobolds and Catacombs: Hearthstone dropped three big expansions this year, but none were as impactful and fun as Kobolds and Catacombs. A love letter to Dungeons & Dragons, Kobolds and Catacombs introduced the Dungeon Run, a solo experience where players get to build a deck out of the coolest cards the game has to offer as they progress through the kobold empire. In addition to a slew of new cards, this new way to play was made available for free, meaning you can download the game and start playing with some of the most exciting cards the Hearthstone team has ever created, all without spending a dime. Thank you, little kobold, I will take that candle.

Sonic Mania: Sonic the Hedgehog 3 is one of my favorite video games. Period. The bullies who say there are no good Sonic games have simply forgotten the glory days, and who can blame them? Sonic hasn’t been doing what he does best in several years. Sonic Team themselves even forgot, throwing a bone to fans of the original games, effectively saying “if you think our Sonic games are no good, why don’t you do it?”

So they did. And it blew everyone away.

Sonic Mania is a love letter to Sonic’s Genesis era. Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles returned in spectacular fashion, reminding everyone of a simple truth: it’s fun to go fast. With exceptional level design and music you’ll bop your head to, Sonic Mania succeeds where almost every Sonic game in recent memory fails: it’s fast, it’s fun, and it keeps you coming back for more. I’m not sure if a Sonic Mania 2 is in our future, but if it takes us another 13 years to get there, I’ll still lace up my running shoes when the time comes.

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That's it for Part Two of our three-part series! Be sure to check out Part One and stay tuned for PART THREE: EVERYTHING ELSE! If you're still in the mood for past CR Favorites, check out the previous years' features here:

Crunchyroll Favorites 2016 Part One Part Two Part Three

Crunchyroll Favorites 2015 Part One Part Two Part Three

Crunchyroll Favorites 2014 Part One Part Two Part Three

Crunchyroll Favorites 2013 Part One Part Two Part Three

Crunchyroll Favorites 2012 Part One Part Two Part Three

Crunchyroll News' Best of 2011 Part One Part Two

What were your favorite video games of 2017? Comment below and share with us! Remember, this is a FAVORITES list, not a BEST OF list, so there's no wrong answers!

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Peter Fobian is an Associate Features Editor for Crunchyroll, author of Monthly Mangaka Spotlight, writer for Anime Academy, and contributor at Anime Feminist. You can follow him on Twitter @PeterFobian.

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