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#i can't overthink what i can't see on my tiny screen!!!!
fisheito · 6 months
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Do you... do you... draw professionally. Because you're just so good and you are inspiring me to keep trying! Manifest those mental images!! Learn to draw yakumo getting railed, and other Normal reasons to revitalize one's previous interest in drawing
u think i could draw professionally??! 😲🥺🥺 i am so flatter..... i think ur draws are so scrorchy (very enjoyable] so if i can help u have inspire 😭😭😭😭😭
omfg if u learn to draw yakumo getting railed i'll probably explode/implode/evaporate/change states of matter in a sudden, violent way
bc. i cannot do it. fun fact: when i read y'all's collab fic of dante's sex ed i felt the urge to draw 3 specific panels for it. but as i put the stylus to the screen, i realised that SEVERAL ppl would have to be naked for the drawings to be storycally accurate. so even tho they were comedy panels, my hand... it betrayed me. it was like trying to draw porn but i blink and suddenly everyone's in 14 levels of victorian extra-garment. F...H?OISTED BY MY OWN UNHORNY
so yes. pls. i would love to see more of your contributions. the very special contributions that only u can make 😂
#asks#to answer ur question for realsi#during times when i am actually employed#i would be animating rigs. which means very little drawing#my job would be clicking and keyboarding more than anything#the hours are long and my brain is so overheated#by the end of the work day i don't want to do anything artistic or even watch shows#so i never have the time for actual drawing. i miss it...#therefore. despite going into art as a profession. i don't rly do much art while employed 😢#i joke that my periods of greatest artistic growth were during my fandom hyperfixations#bc those were the times when i would explore styles#try new stuff and experiment with media and really work hard to make pieces look a certain way#whereas art school was more formulaic and apathetic (oh nooo i don't get to draw gay fanart for my assignments? what's the point)#nowadays? i've chilled out on the Great Experimental Growth phase#and try to draw stupid little things that don't take up too much brainpower#otherwise i get real in my head about my weaknesses#bc of course your peers in the anim program are going to KICK BUTT in several fields that you may not excel in#this is partially why i started drawing on my phone#bc it forces me to work with a small canvas. thus fewer details#i can't overthink what i can't see on my tiny screen!!!!#anyway. this period of unemployment has actually helped me draw personal art again. it's nice to rediscover your hobby AS A HOBBY#here's hoping u get something out of ur up-n-coming drawings too......
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Rigor Mortis (part 4)
College roommate!Miguel O'Hara x reader
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(AO3 Mirror) (Wattpad) Series Masterlist, Main Masterlist,
Part 3, Part 5
summary: You get your laptop fixed... eventually.
warnings: smut!! (finally lmfao) masturbation, mutual masturbation, tiny bit of voyeurism, recreational drug use, dry humping, etc 18+ Minors DNI
a/n: caught up to where the og oneshot ends so i wanted to switch it up!!
Thank you to my beta readers, @tianyhi and @urgonnaneedabiggership (they also write Miguel fics, I highly recommend! my favourite is this series), I couldn't have done it without you guys <3
Join my taglists here
wc: 6.8k (still in shock i wrote all this lmfao, i'm strictly a <4k words kinda gal)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
lips black and blue and gold.
You're frustrated. Bouncing off the walls, head spinning; and it's for a couple of reasons. 
First off: you haven't managed to find a laptop. Money you've worked damn hard for, and you can't really afford a new one. With moving around, you've burnt through quite a bit of your emergency fund. Enough to convince yourself you'll be just fine with a pen and paper in class, and the Google docs on your phone when desperate. It might actually force you to go to the library instead of half assing assignments the night before, you think. 
And there's your lab book, which you were smart enough to back up on your computer, but guess what? That's fucked; probably taken apart and sold for scraps by Miguel's mysterious friend , who you've conveniently never even heard of and–
"Just ask for an extension." He says, feet up on the sofa. Oddly enough, you've been doing that more often; spending time together. He's not holed up in his room as much, and spends time studying on the dining table, or pretending not to watch the soaps you've got on TV. 
"You're overthinking it. Explain the situation, chula, and it'll be fine." He doesn't even look up, just throws the statement in your direction like the lazy pass of a ball. 
You scoff, because he's right, and go back to overthinking. You think you can copy out the ruined half of your labbook by hand, and if you beg your OChem teacher for an extra credit project then–
"If I let you use my laptop, will you stop doing that?" 
"Doing what?" You frown as he walks over, and reaches to gently pull your hands apart. He turns your palms over, pointing at the raw edges of your fingernails. 
" That. " Mindlessly, you'd been picking at your fingernails, without even noticing. Looking up at him, he rolls his eyes. 
"...is that a yes?" You nod, hesitant, and catch the hint of a smile as he pads off to his room. 
When he returns, open laptop in hand, he thrusts it into your arms - and sits himself back onto the sofa. This time, he splays out facing you, avocado socks resting on your knee. You fight the urge to push him off, a small price to pay in return for his moment of kindness. He's been doing that more often now, slightly more touchy and maybe even… comfortable around you. Eyes flickering up towards him, you catch his. His brows knead together, and you return your attention to the screen just as quickly. 
You're going through the motions, more or less, logging into your college's portal and drafting up quick emails to send to your lecturers. But it's when you open up a new tab, that you see something at the top of the screen and pause. Mouse hovering over an incognito tab, hidden in a nest of referencing websites and scientific journals; it's there. Bold letters, in all caps: WOMAN POUNDED BY BIG BEEFY–
You shouldn't. You really, really shouldn't. Once again, you look up at Miguel, and he couldn't care less; tapping away at his phone, only stopping to look at the TV. Nevertheless, you shift to hide the laptop screen from him. But you're not going to look, or anything. You know better than to take a look at your roommates porn habits, the stuff he drools over whilst he fucks his fist; a big, dextrous palm wrapped around his shaft. 
You've done it. Clicked on the tab and nothing's exploded, as of yet. You turn down the brightness, with some shame, as if to make the paused video less explicit. But the image stays, a woman folded under the weight of the man above – in the middle of bullying his fat cock into her pussy. It's amateur; hot and sweaty and sticky, with only the woman fully visible. You suppose your curiosity's been sated, but you can't help but think…
…the woman. She looks like you. 
Tilting your head, you can't help but see the resemblance. Not the exact same of course - but her hair is similar, body type, skin tone, eyes. It's not close enough to be weird, you guess, but it's enough that that thought stays - burrows into you like an earthworm into an apple. Scrolling down, you see other videos, with the same woman, other women that look like you - the telltale red bar of watched videos. Evidence, but not really, and it makes you heat up. Your mouth goes dry, and you look over to him: only able to concentrate on the hand he's got spread out at his belly, the brown flesh peeking out - and how it looks just like the one on the base of the woman's stomach in the video. 
"...everything ok?" He's looking at you, suddenly; and you attempt to click over to your original tab, discreetly. 
He doesn't seem to notice, padding over to your side and leaning into your shoulder. 
"Yeah, no, I just…" All you can manage is a nervous smile. "The screen froze, so…"
"Oh." He gives the track pad a swipe. "Seems fine to m–" 
He freezes up slightly, and you watch as his eyes flick up the screen. The laptop is eased out of your hands, and he gives a few quick clicks. By the time it's back in your lap, the offending tab is gone. Imperceptible, his jaw shifts. 
"...Should be okay now."
You hum, a little amused at the display. He's seemingly unfazed, his little slip up notwithstanding, and leans back to lie up against you. Obnoxious, he splays onto the sofa cushions, his weight practically smothering you as you fight to push him off. You think he likes it – it's the only possible explanation – and gets off from watching you squirm. He seems desperate for a reaction, a child pushing boundaries and pressing buttons to see what exactly makes you tick. 
And that's the second thing: it works . He's  more touchy, and just as insufferable – jumping at any excuse to be near you, it seems. Miguel has a tendency to hover, follow you around the apartment as you talk aimlessly, and you do the same. You sit by against the doorway to the kitchen whilst he makes dinner; he floats around the door to your room when you try to study. In fact, you've spoken to your roommate more in the past week than you have in the past month; about anything and everything. Sometimes, he actually tells you where he goes during the day; off to lectures of his own, another tutoring session or his basically-an-unpaid-job of an internship. In your words, it seems like with the shit they make him do at Alchemex, he may as well be a full employee: with way fewer perks and a distinct paycut. It's almost as if they're paying for my degree, he says with an eye roll, practically hanging off your door frame. 
He does that a lot, now: arms drawn upwards to lean from the oak trim. Especially during lazy mornings in - he'll hang on the frame, and move to tug at your heel, waking you up despite fervent protest. Ultimately, it's a kindness and you don't know how to tell him how much you appreciate it; as he wakes you up on time to get to the library in good stead. You're still waiting on that laptop, debating whether or not to bite the bullet; but for now Miguel obliges, letting you borrow his now and then. 
He's not nice, you think his tongue is much too sharp for that; but he is kind, giving you some grace you're not too sure you deserve. It's more than what you've been given in a relationship of 4 years, and you don't know how to feel about it. 
Well, you do. Your talk on the living room floor not so long ago flipped a switch and all of a sudden you're paying attention to your roommate; really, really looking at him. He is very, very pretty; with a tendency for lingering touches disguised as something else. And you're out of practice: horny, frustrated, stressed. With the way he touches you; a hand on your back to greet you, a squeeze of your shoulder to tease, bare legs across yours on the sofa; it's a lethal combo. 
And here you are, headphones on, prepping to take a dildo. Incredibly self-indulgent, but you need it . You don't quite have the emotional stability for a one night stand (you think if someone touches you just right, you'll fall in love), but this dry spell has taken its toll. 
It wasn't just after the break up, either. Mismatched libidos had felt like a steady death knoll. Realistically, you knew Jaime was always too tired after a placement, but it didn't make you feel wanted. You just want to be desirable and fucked within an inch of your life – was that too much to ask? 
As a result, your toy drawer had grown: vibrators and dildos, clit-suckers and g-spot strokers; crude once said aloud, but all in search of something. With the stress of school and Miguel, Schrodinger's slut ; it's a wonder you haven't cracked it open earlier. 
You're on the floor, its purple base suctioned to the hardwood and towels to cushion your knees. Lower half completely exposed, it's an art , porn on your phone to complete the visage. The screen is smaller than that of the laptop you're used to, only providing some stimulation. And so, as you sink down on its silicone length, you can't help but think back to the sofa - and the videos squirrelled away on an incognito tab. Miguel, hunched over and fisting his cock to someone that looks like you; maybe even thinking of you – although the jury's still out, on that one. 
But you keep it close to your chest, rub your clit to the thought of it: you're his type, and maybe he'd fuck into you like the man on your screen. Broad, gorgeous shoulders and you wonder how pretty he'd look with scratches littered down his back, or hickeys sucked into skin: lips plump and messy and swollen. 
"Oh, fuck," You say it under your breath, knowing that whilst Miguel is out of the house, it still feels odd to put your lips around the pleasure that thinking of him gives. 
You speed up, the slap of thighs ringing out into your bedroom. The dildo is around 6 inches, sizeable; but you can't help but wonder how it compares to Miguel's. He might even be bigger; thicker, most definitely; and you bet his cock is just as pretty as he is. Oh fuck, and he'd tease; press into your hole just to snatch it away at the last second, rubbing persistent circles at your clit. You hear his voice in your head, the low grunts and groans you've memorised from all those nights he's spent with other girls. 
"Miguel,"  You're moaning shamelessly now. "...f-fuck, please–" 
There must be something electric in the way he fucks: with the litany of girls in and out of his bedroom, what keeps them coming back? He must talk them through it, whispering filth with his plush lips against their ear, and you wonder what he'd say to you. God , you'd give anything to hear it him say, just once, how beautiful he thinks you are; for him to wrap his hand around your neck and pull you close. You want him to fuck you; hard and deep and desperate. 
With that, your pace quickens and you gush around the toy. A spasm of limbs, and you're clamping down on the silicone – an orgasm that leaves you breathless and heaving. You convince yourself it's the taboo of it: fucking yourself to the thought of your roommate, after listening to his grunts and groans for the past couple weeks. He started it … thin walls, and all that. 
You ignore the want that lays stubborn at the pit of your stomach, riding through stuttering spasms as your orgasm winds down. You're touch starved, that's all, and Miguel's the closest warm body to latch onto. Nothing more, nothing less. Groaning, you shift, picking up your hips to gear up for another round. Just once more, so you know for sure. 
Thin walls. The sound leaks into your roommate's bedroom. But with your headphones on, you can't hear the sounds that echo back: Miguel O'Hara, back home early, with an ear pressed to the wall and desperately pumping his cock. 
~~~
"I'm not completely convinced, to be honest." You're in Miguel's car, tongue sticking out as you fiddle around with the dials. 
His gaze flicks over, and bats your paws off the dashboard. Flopping into your seat, you watch as he turns up the AC and switches the radio, as if reading your mind. 
"You really think I'd go through all this trouble?" He scoffs. "Bundle your ass out of the house and drive all the way here to…. do what exactly?" 
"Assert dominance in our shared ecosystem." You say it with finality, and he scrunches up his face in confusion. 
"...what does that even mean?" 
"Like in that nature doc you were watching the other day." 
"Well, the point was that spiders aren't hierarchical in the traditional sense. They form colonies that are… quasi-social, if anything, and–" He pauses. "Wait. You were paying attention?" 
You shrug. "I thought it was interesting." 
"Seriously?" 
"...no, not really."
You laugh as he pulls over to park, in a space next to what looks like an apartment complex. It looks way nicer than your place, with sandy brick and hedges that look well kept. Your laughter peters off. Miguel looks decidedly not amused. 
He opens the car door and clambers out as you scramble for the seatbelt. To your surprise, he opens the door for you; stretching out a hand for stability as you get out. When you both walk over to the intercom, your palm burns with his touch, and flexes with the memory of it. It's becoming a problem, his hands. You push down the beginnings of a hazy daydream. He presses a panel, waiting for the buzz. 
"Lyla? Could you let us up?" 
He waves demurely to the camera, and the receiver clicks. A cheery voice rings back. 
"...Us? Who's us, Miggy? Did you finally find a girl that puts up with your shit?" Her voice is singsong, teasing. With a smile, you watch as Miguel bristles, speaking into the slick panel. 
"My roommate, Jesus, Ly–" He says the next bit a little rushed, turning away slightly as if you still can't hear her loud and clear. "I thought we went through this, you can't keep trying to embarassmeeverytimeI–" 
She talks over him towards the end, rapid-fire banter that you can barely make out. 
"You never come and visit, except when it's 2am and you need to break into–" 
"Once! It was one time! Déjate, ya está bueno ya–" 
[Let it go, that's enough now–] 
"Let it go? No, no, absolutely not… what is it that you always say? It's the principle –" 
"Can you just fucking open the–" 
"What's the magic word?" 
He sighs, mouthing an apology to you. "Lyla–" 
"Magic. Word."
He mumbles. "Please." 
"Please what?" 
"Please could you open the fucking door."
There's a pause, and rustling over the intercom. The door buzzes open. 
In the elevator up, you keep quiet, trying your hardest not to burst out laughing. Miguel is visibly brooding; arms crossed and brow furrowed. 
"Don't." He says, with a pout you almost think is cute. Almost. 
"I'm trying really, really hard not to." You put your hands up, as if to surrender. "... Miggy."
"Fuck off." And then, a little softer. 
"...I told you I have friends."
~~~
You leave it at that until you're in Lyla'a apartment, when she opens and ushers you in. She looks exactly the way she sounds: pretty, mousy features, with her hair in short, choppy layers. She's bundled up into a plush white robe; heart-shaped sunglasses sliding down the tip of her nose. 
Miguel breezes past her, towards the murmuring voices you can just about make out in the front room. 
"Lovely to see you too, Miguel." It's under her breath, but when she turns towards you there's a twinkle in her eye. 
You introduce yourself, and she pulls you into a tight hug. 
"I know," She says. It's ominous, but her voice is light and airy. When you separate, she flashes a wide smile. "Lyla. It's nice to put a face to a name."
"Uhh, sorry. What?" She ushers you further into her apartment as you speak, confused. 
"Oh, Miggy talks about you all the time. Complaining , mostly, but in that way he gets when he's trying really, really hard to pretend he doesn't care. Like, he texted me yesterday and–" 
"Thaaat's enough." You feel hands on your shoulders, and all of a sudden, Miguel is steering you away from her grip. You stumble into her living room, so bright and airy your eyes have to adjust to the light that floods in. Looking around, her apartment is gorgeous; a spacious open plan, floor-to-ceiling windows with a prime view, and lush furniture. Everything about it screams expensive – especially in comparison to your paltry place. Maybe the shock is visible on your face, but you're in awe. She can't be much older than Miguel, right? She looks about the same age, mid-twenties, not too far-removed from college… and it isn't quite adding up. 
"How can she afford this? That's what you're thinking." There's a voice on the sofa that makes you blink. A young man with messy brown hair, a set jaw and 5 o'clock shadow calls out to you in between mouthfuls of pizza. "Lyla's… mmhgh… suuper fuckin' rich… mmfgh… that's how." 
It's then that you notice there are other people here, sprawled out on the sofa set; boxes of takeout on the side tables next to them. Of course Lyla's rich: only 20-somethings with money to spare have matching sofas. 
She's like Beetlejuice, or the Candyman, and pops up next to you when her name's said. 
"I work in tech! With a cute little job on Wall Street, and a part-time one white hat hacking." She clarifies. " Ethical hacking." 
She giggles like she's told a joke somewhere, and you nod – still not quite understanding. 
"...and some side gigs that aren't as ethical." A blond haired man next to Mouthful-Of-Pizza pipes up. "When are you going to introduce us, Miguel?" 
He's grumbling in the kitchen area, digging through the shelves for something. He returns with a bag of chips and dip in a container, flopping onto the zebra print throw pillows. Distracted, he waves a hand around the group noncommittally. 
"Uhh, Peter, Ben, Lyla." He gestures to you, saying your name, and then to himself; tearing open the bag at the same time. "-and Miguel. All done"
"My turn for questions, now," Miguel says, pointing at Lyla, looking at the boys to his side. "Is she…?"
"...super high? Most definitely." Lyla giggles at Ben's words, for good measure. 
"...right. Peter Parker, nice to meet you." He throws a thumb to the back of the sofa, where you notice a little mop of red curls peeking out. "And this is my little Mayday."
Peals of laughter erupt from behind him, and you notice grubby hands with a death grip to the cushion rest. Miguel leaps up, rushing to her side to help her up its back. 
"Ayyy dios mio." He scoops her up carefully, "Buenas, Arañita." 
Mayday is on his lap now, a little toddler of about 1 or 2, snaking herself around to hug Miguel's chest. She is certifiably the cutest thing you've ever seen: gap-toothed and giggly, with a smatter of freckles like someone's flicked a paintbrush across her nose. And with the way Miguel melts, you can die happy, knowing that you've seen the impossible: Miguel O'Hara, cooing and fussing over the little girl. 
"Arañita?" You ask, to no one in particular. 
"Itsy-bitsy spider." . ..is the sing-song, choral response from everyone but Miguel. They're mimicking his tone of voice, and he raises his head from May, looking around. 
"I don't sound- " 
"You do, dude." Peter sighs, tickling the little red head on the tummy; smiling as she collapses into bright laughter. "I don't have a nickname, and I've known you waaay longer than she has."
Miguel covers her tiny little ears, and says, "Eres un pendejo, Parker . "
[you're a dipshit, Parker] 
The scraggly man sticks his tongue out in response, and May pulls at his hair for good measure. He yelps, and Miguel passes her over to her Dad. The scene is funny, for sure, but you feel it's warmth more than anything. God, you can tell they've loved and laughed with each other for years; the kind of friendship you'd kill to have. 
"We just need whatever's left of her laptop, Lyla," He's blunt, batting away long forgotten chips and dip. "...and then we'll get going. Wish I could stay longer, Arañita, but I've got some work to finish off."
May makes grabby hands at him, and you melt. Who knows how Miguel can stay strong in the face of her big, round eyes. 
He gets up to stand next to you, arms crossed. The height difference is stark: his tall, solid frame towering over everyone else. It seems like an intimidation tactic, but you know him just well enough to tell: he's trying not to be swayed by puppy eyes and promises of food. 
"You just got here, Miggy." Lyla sighs. "We're going over prep for Jess', and we'll be two minutes, I swear."
"Oh?" His eyebrows light up. "I knew it! You were being evasive on the group chat, and Pete wasn't returning my calls…"
Huffing, he clasps his hand around yours, ready to storm out. "This is an ambush. A goddamn setup!" 
"Wait, Miguel, I need my-" 
"I'll pick it up later for you, okay?" It's said like an aside, so soft only you can hear it. With his hand around yours, it certainly feels more intimate than it should. And it seems like he realises a little too late, dropping your hand as your faces are mere inches away. 
"Um, we should… we should go." 
You look past him to the faces blinking at you guys, on the sofa. A pause, and then you're gulping down stubborn feelings to ask a question. 
"Jess' ? Is there a party, or something?" 
Lyla nods. "Yeah, and Miguel's meant to be picking up cake."
The man in question pinches his nose. "I can pick up the cake just fine. It's the whole… going to a party bit I'm not too keen on."
"Come onnn, you know Jess would love it."
"She'd love to blackmail me with some dumb shit I did drunk, that's for sure."
"It's her birthday, hardass ." Peter whispers that last bit, covering little May's ears like before. "She can have a little blackmail, as a treat."
"You're gonna say no to a surprise party ?" Ben echoes, shaking his head dramatically. 
"A surprise birthday?" You light up. "Miguel, you have to go."
His stony demeanor cracks, for a moment. You latch onto it, hellbent on wearing him down. He's always got his laptop out doing work, or cracking open a little notebook to prep a lab. When he's not at home, he's at that internship, or tutoring, or planning a tutoring session. Work, work, work; and you'll be dammed if you let him rot away in a little cage of his own machinations. 
"Come on, Miggy." You watch him bristle, prying at that little crack in the surface. This has to be done with finesse: present a challenge, and watch him scramble to prove you wrong. "You're telling me a couple of hours at a party's too much for you? That's it? " 
"That's not–" 
"S'what it sounds like to me." You shrug, a little smile on your face. The aim is to look as smug as possible; and it seems to be working. 
His jaw shifts, annoyed. Lyla catches on, giving you a crazed smile. 
"Even your roommate's gonna come." She says, an arm linked in yours. 
"I am?" She gives you a little dig, and you're spluttering. "Y-Yeah, I am!" 
You can see him fight with his own ego; but it's a one-sided affair. 
"Fine. " He strains. "Two hours, max. And then I'm gone."
Lyla gives you a squeeze, and then wraps you both up in a hug he desperately tries to fight off. Ben slots around you guys, and Peter's last to join, with Mayday squealing on his shoulders. 
Eventually, you get what's left of your laptop: a little thumb drive with as much as Lyla could save. You'd thanked her profusely, of course; trying to slither out of her vice grip of a hug, as best you could. She's absolutely batshit, the good kind; cryptic, and strange, but with a lot of heart. She makes you wonder, and they all do; just how did they become friends with Miguel? How do they fit? 
The man himself seems a little different, as if reinvigorated by being around friends. In fact, you catch him smiling to himself on the drive home. It's sweet; to see a different side of him around people he's clearly comfortable with. If only for a little while, he sheds the heavy weight he seems to carry around. 
Around the house, you notice he seems lighter – humming to himself whilst cooking dinner. That very day, you watch the little sway of hips as he stirs a pot; headphones in, singing under his breath. He can't sing for shit, of course, and he'd kill you if you ever uttered a word; but it's a sight you commit to memory, not knowing when next he'll be in such a good mood. 
There's still the question of a new laptop in the air, but you feel more settled by the events of the day. You're a little less fucked school-wise, you've got a party to look forward to, and potentially a drunk Miguel to make fun of. He goes to bed early; and you can hear the quiet drone of a podcast from the other side of the wall. He drifts off to the sweet, dulcet tones of Top Ten Genetic Precursors for Early Onset Dementia; one of his favourites, you've determined. 
All is well, for now. A tentative truce, and maybe, just maybe: you're finally friends with your roommate. 
~~~
There's something about dramatic irony that seems to smack you across the face, every time. 
You've come to somewhat of a understanding with your prickly roommate, and the stream of women in his bed seem to slow down, for a bit. He's hot, he's a whore; but he's sweet, with an eye for detail. He can read you with a scary amount of accuracy. Antsy and hungry from a long day? He leaves you scratching your head at his clairvoyance when you come home, chucking you a hot water bottle and a warm meal. You go to bed with a full belly, cramps abated. 
He's still a prick, of course. Sarcastic comments, and a massive grump – but you've learnt to deal with that. Just a couple of days after a seemingly settled week; what you can't wrap your head around is the pounding music from next door, at fuck-off-o'clock . He shouldn't be awake, let alone interrupting your late night study session. 
You're pissed, leaping from your desk to pound at his door. You're thudding towards his room, ready to deliver a well-deserved verbal lashing, and the door just… swings open. Empty; there's a window ajar and music pumping from speakers. Bachata and cheesy 90s R&B; which sounds suspiciously like his sex playlist. 
Yes, he has a sex playlist. And it really has no business to sound as good as it does. 
Nevertheless, you're resolute. If he's managed to sneak someone, at this hour, you decide he's going to get more than a stern talking to. 
There's clattering in the kitchen, and you whip around; half-expecting the giggle of another girl. When you walk in, it's just Miguel, rummaging through cupboards: a half-naked thief in the night. 
"Miguel?" 
He pops his head up from a cabinet, with a half-eaten piece of bread in his mouth. Caught red-handed, you suppose; and he gives you a little smile. 
"S'everyfin' – mmmfggh –" He scarfs the rest of it down. "Everything okay?" 
You squint. "No. Not really."
He chuckles, a slight rasp at the edges of his voice. Dickhead – what exactly is so funny? 
"You can't have your music so fucking loud, not when I'm studying. It's the middle of the night and–" 
Dressed in nothing but a pair of gray sweats, he's busying himself with a sandwich on the counter; clattering around noisily like he doesn't have full control of his limbs. Which is…. weird, admittedly. You'd trust Miguel to slice a grape with a machete – his dexterity is usually unmatched. Not that you'd made a habit of staring at his hands, or anything. 
"Are you even listening to me?" 
He nods, attempting to keep a straight face, but the faux solemnity does nothing to hide that droop of eyelids and slump of his shoulders. You get closer, pushing him to face you properly. 
"Oh, fuck," His eyes are a little red, hair messy and windswept. "Are you… high? " 
Miguel O'Hara? High? You'd never thought you'd live to see the day, honestly. His eyes go wide, dropping his sandwich dramatically. And then he's got a big hand at your shoulder, pulling you closer with a finger pressed to his lips. 
"Shhh! You can't-" Now, he gets close, whispering your name like he's saying something he shouldn't. "You can't tell anyone."
With the way he says your name it makes you light-headed. It's slow and careful, as if he's testing the way it feels spilling from his lips. And maybe, with the way he smiles, it feels good; tastes sweet wrapped around his tongue. 
"I won't." You breathe, and then you're both giggling.
There's something about the way he looks at you, peering under heavy lashes; basically eye-fucking you in the space of your tiny kitchen. You feel bare in a little t-shirt and sleep shorts; suddenly exposed. 
"You should…" He starts, cocking his head ever so slightly. "Join me, chula. "
It's soft; sinful, even; said as he coaxes you between his body and the kitchen counter. 
You don't trust your voice enough to answer, legs already shaky, so you nod. Slight, at first; and then with a little more gusto as the idea of him and you on his sheets – intimate, alone – creeps in. He stretches out a hand, and you take it; led to his bedroom like a scene you've seen before. All those girls before you; led to the dragon's lair like damsels in a fairytale. Except in this one, you suppose, you're not waiting for a knight in shining armour to save you. 
He sits you down on the bed, passing you a freshly rolled blunt. Passing it to your lips , more specifically; hand on your chin as he brings the lighter up to its end. Even prettier up close, all you can do is watch the press of plump lips, and pink tongue sticking out as he concentrates. As he leans in, there's a hand on your bare thigh. You inhale, deeply, and he hums with content.
"Good girl," He purrs, prying it from your lips to take a slow drag. 
"You're a bad influence." You murmur, watching as his eyes flutter shut. 
"You need to relax," He leans back, arm drawn lazily upwards. "This is helping."
"That's not–" Oh. You feel it now, a steady haze rolling over limbs. 
Miguel quirks up an eyebrow, amused. 
You repeat, slowly, "You're a bad influence ."
"Does it feel good?" You pause, trying to ignore his low tone; and the steady blaze that it ignites within you. Dragging your eyes to meet his, you see it: want, lust, something heavy that swirls behind them. 
You nod, itching for another pull. As if psychic, he gestures for you to come closer; and your lips almost slot against his. He exhales, and you inhale; in the closest thing you've come to a kiss in months. It makes you ache for just a little more contact, for those pretty hands to slot between your thighs and–
"Is this all I need to do for some quiet around here?" He asks, lilting. If only he'd stop talking; interrupting your fantasy with that stupid grin of his. 
You're shaking your head, laughing at the sheer gall . 
"You're fucking someone new every week, O'Hara. Loud. Who was it the other day? Cathy, Kayla –" 
"Sita, actually." He has a strange expression on his face. "And we didn't fuck. Just going over lecture notes."
"Sorry . Must have gotten mixed up with the half-dozen other girls in and out of here. Our apartment's not a brothel , Miggy."
He rolls his eyes, handing you the remnants of the blunt. 
"...s'not my fault there isn't anyone fucking you right."
You scoff. "How would you know?" 
"Thin walls. " It's cryptic. What the fuck does that mean?
You take a careful drag, and hand the blunt back – trying your hardest not to strangle him. It must show on your face as you tussle with the thought, because Miguel is staring; unabashedly, unashamedly. When you notice, it throws you off. 
"... what?" Ready to defend yourself, you huff. 
He shrugs. His expression is soft, reminding you of that night, not long ago. 
"You look like a painting."
You practically short circuit. You've been complimented before, of course. Hot, by men trying to get into your pants. Pretty, sometimes. Beautiful, the other times. Whether it's been sincere, you don't know – but you're smart enough to not overthink it. It's hard enough to live a life, as it is; and you'd rather not be bogged down by what others think, how you look whilst doing it. And yet, you feel your body betray you; a steady bloom of heat at your heart, like you've been stabbed. So deep, it spreads like blood on the front of a blouse. Like a painting, he says. And you like the way he says it; how it sounds spilling from his lips. 
Its implication sits heavy. Like a painting : hand-crafted, silken, soft –
He blinks, the crack of a smile on his face. And it ends in a fit of giggling, if you can even call it that. 
"Stop fucking with me." You grumble, and he thinks the way your face scrunches up with disdain is cute. There's probably an implication there he should unpack in therapy – how he likes it when you shout and put him in his place – but he's much too high to care. 
"M'not-" He quiets down, flattens his face into something resembling sobriety and gravitas. He gets a little closer, so close you can feel the heat of his body and flutter of lashes. With wide, dilated pupils, he stills - and it really doesn't help that he looks so pretty. 
"Can't stop thinking about you, hermosa." His voice is low, slurred with the weight of the blunt he's taken careful drags of. Every word makes you feel hazy, drawn in by his lips. " Fuck, all the time."
"Hear your laugh in my dreams, sometimes." He circles your bare thigh carefully, without breaking eye contact. With a thumb on your chin, he brings you closer, and closer still. Gently, you close your eyes, expecting the press of his lips against yours… 
…instead, you get a puff of smoke for your troubles. Reeling, you push him away. He collapses on the bed in a laughing fit. 
"... now I'm fucking with you." Rumbling laughter, and you've got the wherewithal to be embarrassed – hand still resting on his bare chest. 
A little cruelly, you push down, giving him an elbow to the ribs for good measure and he splutters with surprise – laughing all the same. 
"Asshole." You slur, and he grabs your arm to pull you onto the covers with him. You paw at him wildly, wrestling amongst the table of sheets. It's not a fair fight, not really; the wide expanse of his bare chest feels solid, and he's probably got more muscle in his pinky toe than you do in your whole body. Miguel is strong , but plays along regardless, pinning you to the bed with his hands around your wrists - but lets you turn him over just as quick. You're both laughing, the blunt long forgotten but its haze blurring the lines. You straddle his middle, hips flush against his and he keens; head back and cheeks flushed.
"Fuck," It's quiet, said as he writhes below you and you try to pin his hands above his head. Maybe it's the weed, but he lets you: eyes low, breath steady. And you stay like that, for a moment; bodies laid against one another. 
You don't know who starts it: the slow roll of hips, the swell of his cock bucking up against your heat. Regardless, you welcome it, letting the heat build up with the pressure at your clit. Your hips sway and all Miguel can do is watch. 
Lips parted, head back; and you set a steady rhythm that washes over you both.
Humping against one another, you get more desperate and drag your hands to his chest for purchase. Underneath you, Miguel practically purrs – one hand on your waist and the other clutching yours at his chest. 
"So, so pretty…" He sighs into it, wide palm pawing at your ass, shamelessly grabbing handfuls. By now, he's rock hard; and you feel him throb through the thin material of his sweats. 
"Fuck, I can't–" You moan, ragged, the roll of your hips gaining speed. 
Miguel coos, bringing a hand to your chin to pull you closer to the crook of his neck. 
"Too fast, hermosa. S-Slow it down for me." He grips your waist, forcing the pace to slow. Your hips stutter against his, delicious pressure making you cry out. And, God, you're close; pleasure building up at your gut. 
"Ohhh, fuck. Just like that, just like–" It's soft, whispered between the press of bodies like a prayer: reverent, intimate, a slew of garbled English and Spanish into the shell of your ear that goes straight to your pussy. 
"A-Ahi, ahi–"
[t-there, there–] 
Plush lips brush against your cheek, and you try so hard to not float away - with only his words to keep you tethered.  
"... no pares lo que sea que estes haciendo–ohh-fuck–" 
[don't stop what you're doing, oh fuck–] 
The coil at the base of your stomach snaps, and you arch into his touch as he does the same. Miguel spills into his sweats, heaving with the effort. He can feel the clench of your pussy above, and he chases it in the aftermath; craning his neck to finally get a kiss. Limbs heavy, you still manage to swerve so his kisses land at your jaw. He's grateful for the contact anyway it comes and sucks careful hickies into the skin: at your neck, your collarbone, and anywhere else he can reach. 
You sink into it, curl up on his chest like a housecat; his hands wandering the gentle slope of your back under your shirt. 
Limbs heavy, you pry yourself from his hands ever so slightly. He strains to follow you up, snapping back into the sheets like an elastic band. Still, he kneads at your flesh - bare thighs spilling from your shorts. 
" Miguel," You whisper, hand travelling past his neck to cradle his jaw. "Need more…"
You punctuate that last word with a roll of your hips. Wanton, conflicted; he groans . 
"It's late, chula. " He says it slowly, hesitant – like he can't believe the words are coming out of his mouth. He's still high, lost in the whispy remnants of that blunt. You've never known weed to make someone more responsible, and you flop to his side, a little childishly. 
Miguel makes sure to keep a hand wrapped around your waist, dragging his other knuckles up your exposed tummy so that it rides up to the swell of your tits. 
"And you've got that 9am."
You cover your face with the span of your hands, grumbling. From between the gaps in your fingers, you repeat, 
" ...and I've got that 9am ."
He traces lazy circles in your flesh. Maybe it's the blunt, or the afterglow of an orgasm; but you make him laugh, a gentle ache replacing the creak and shudder of gears. 
"Idiot." He says, kissing it into your skin. And he burns from the touch, fleeting; like the warm flame from paper lanterns, or the flicker of a lighter against cool night air. 
_
_
_
Miguel taglist (1): @d1lf-loverrr, @afro-hispwriter @ilovemiguelohara @weedxgirlx420 @ladydovahkiin180 @aaliyuh3 @sweetanimebakery @vvitcxen @rosecoloredlenses708 @daikondal @magikmina @impettywhenyouare @alonelygirlsuicidenote @plushyplants @javi0ca @rheeves @starrfruit @nikirikii @marsbars09 @foxglove-grove @mimooyi @crosshairclown @dead-by-light @kynamitedessert @naarra @wanderlustingcastaway @sagejin @cookielovesbook-akie @tangerineloverrr @gobblegluckgluckgod @wolfiepirate @jxxey3 @ebrysteria @elliemm @manchuria @youngghostpeachslime @weasleybuns
@ilovemuppets @vauriz @bonbyon @aimno256 @ancientbeing10 @tvije @venus1224idkpleaze @neteyamsbulletwound @chickenjefferson-blog @maki-z @jasjasthings @aiyaaayei @hyp-oh-critical @tea-earl-grey-thot @sunset-euphoria @moonsio @akiras-key@szaplsdropthealbum@levanneisdumb @naiya-patel17 @Serostapesweat @strawberrymiguel @yumeeesss @errorundyne-exe @spear-bitch @redsoleily @marsissoswag @slezhara @ye4gerzz @adlct515 @nanam1 @indigocookie @cincocosas-blog @starguiders @path0logicalpeoplepleaser@funkyfishy@whoreloll@eugeab@tarjapearce@maddielikesmoths@egotaestical
1K notes · View notes
heartfullofleeches · 1 year
Text
A People Eater's Worse Nightmare
Yandere Parasite/Shapeshifter + G.N Reader blurb
Summary: They love you. What the fuck's wrong with them.
Warnings: Mentions of cannibalism
A nice big house. Large group of friends.
Yeah- this life was great.
Framed pictures of loved ones on the wall, freezer stocked full of meat. Beer cans on the coffee table and blood stains in the carpet. Such accomities made this place fitting to be their perfect home.
Shame they couldn't stick around.
[Hey, Dude! Last night was killer. You on for Sunday?]
The homeowner shoots a dismissive reply, sinking deeper into the revels of their catch present in the murky waters they reside. It was far too easy this time. A homebody with loose ties to numerous people turned the life of the party and friend group after a trip out of town. "Taking a new approach on life." And all that other horseshit that left people none the wiser to the horrors committed behind locked doors.
It was paradise, but too much of a good thing was bad for anyone's health. Getting to caught up in prey's daily life could make one sloppy. How people managed to miss those tiny spots of macroon in the rug or the smell that lingered was beyond them, but maybe that's just how primitive those claimed to be the top of the chain were. They needed to move ship, and fast.
A new message pops up on the screen, from a number simply marked with a heart.
[I had a really nice time with you last night. I hope we can meet up again soon.]
There it was. The other issue with being human. With how many lives they have under their belt, they've done this song and dance many times before. They've been married and divorced. Slept with numerous people in one night, and had committed friend with benefits deals. They could've made excuses for it all, but there was a side of them that longed for connect. An amalgamation of the feelings the one before them held and their own urges. There was many partners before this one and there would be plenty after.
So why can't they hit send?
[Hey, Y/n. Some stuff came up with my folks so I'll be out of town for a while. I'll hit you up when I get back.
A passage excuse. One that could potentially throw off their temporary mate if they were the type to overthink. For some reason, that got under their skin. Freaky. Maybe it's because they never managed to get them in the sack - or call them by their real name.
It's cool - By morning those feelings will be gone and they'll move onto the next. Just one more night and the homeowner would go back from social outcast turned devil worshipper - to a beast a little closer to home.
As their head sinks under the water, the homeowner just can't get that smile out of their head.
-
The parasite groans as it pull itself out of the bathtub. Hangovers were a bitch no matter what breed you were. It drags its heavy body off the floor and picks up the homeowner's phone. There's a missed message on screen. Their body suddenly feels lighter
[Hi. I saw you read my message, and I'm not trying to push things, but I wanted to invite you to breakfast if you were free.]
[Sure thing, Sweetheart. Just send me the locale]
The parasite hums to itself and it walks in front of the mirror, thinking about what to wear for its date with its partner. They open the cabinet to grab that perfume you said was nice on your second date-
What. What the fuck?
Ink slams the door shut; whiplash cracking the mirror. They stare at the exposed muscle structure of their skin, narrow eyes large as tennis balls. They - were themselves again, but they still as they did masquerading as that whiny little bitch. Their heart smiled in tune seeing that message, and their guts bubbled in anticipation for being beside the one to make them feel this way. They feel sick.
"What did you do to me. What did you do-"
Ink scrolls through the texts you've sent and photos you've taken together. You had to've done something. Poisoned them with some fucked up chemical. Snuck a part of yourself in their food to make them crave you so god damn bad.
Their search leaves them with nothing but a swollen heart and rage filled mind. They punch the mirror. Angry at the world, they still want nothing more than to see your disgustingly pretty face again.
"Fuck."
615 notes · View notes
thiserichann · 3 years
Text
cookies and cream - lee jeno
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reader x jeno
genre: smut, strangers to fuck buddies, humor if you squint hard enough
word count: 4k-ish
warnings: recklessness (she met with a stranger online, don’t do it kids) excessive lying, 18+ scenes that includes: oral (f receiving) face riding, soft dom!jeno?
This is merely a work of fiction and is not meant to hurt the image of Jeno and NCT. Again, don’t be as reckless as OP. This was just a fantasy of mine that I’ve been dying to get out of my system.
Holy fuck.
That's the only word that you've managed to utter when you decided to check your messages that morning.
You got bored in the middle of the class and decided to sneak a peek on your phone to pass the time. The class is recorded anyways so you can always just go back to the parts of the lessons that you've missed.
But holy fuck.
You never expected to see THAT so early in the morning.
"Miss Y/N?"
You snapped back to reality and stopped malfunctioning for a second when somebody called your name. Everyone including your professor remained quiet and all eyes are on you.
"Oh. Sir what’s the question again?"
You answered nervously as you tried to review your notes and backtrack on what he is discussing a few moments ago.
"I see that you're distracted in the middle of my class again. Mind sharing what you're occupied with?"
"Uhm. I was watching KPOP fancams, sir."
"Fancams won't get you into law school, Miss Y/N. Phones off please."
You tucked your phone back to your pocket and never picked it up again since. The professor started blabbering again but no information is being retained on your head. It stayed that way at your other classes.
You wished you were looking at some KPOP fancams earlier. You’ve watched fancams at class before and got away with it unscathed.
Oh no. It was a goddamn dick pic.
A good one, too.
It was from a guy that you met in a kink site a few days ago. You created the account out of boredom and expected nothing to come out from it. It’s all the flirting and sexting without all the unnecessary commitment
It only took you a few minutes to set up an account. For some privacy, you made a random birthdate and a random nickname, because like hell would you share your real information to these people. You also picked a racy picture of a lady that looked a bit like you and passed it off as your own.
Within minutes, your inbox is flooded with messages. Most of them, however, are from men who are old enough to be your father.
Well, you were bored, so you entertained everyone and then went on back to your boring, vanilla life. A few political history and theory books later, you went back to see which ones messaged you on the site.
And that's where you've met him.
The most gorgeous piece of meat alive.
He seems like a nice guy. He introduced himself as LJ and your age aren’t that far off from each other. LJ is the only one who actually engaged in conversation besides "want to fuck?" or "are you horny?"
As soon as you started messaging back and forth, you scrolled on his profile to see what he looks like. The only thing is, his profile looked a whole lot like those high fashion male underwear photoshoots.
It was an array topless pictures (presumably his, you just can’t be bothered to check if it is actually his). It featured his sculpted abs and biceps, cropped up all the way to his full lips. Despite not seeing his whole face, you knew very well that he’s a hunk. To say you were intrigued is an understatement.
Since then, you've been talking back and forth through Snapchat (your secret one because you're not stupid) and sent him actual pictures of yourself, completely omitting the face. You took one from your bed, your bathtub, and probably every part of your house that you felt is sexy enough to be included on the pics.
You can't tell him if it's him or the repressed sexual urges finally manifesting itself after more than a year of not getting laid, but every text to and from him made your heart race. It was something that you looked forward to every hour everyday.
Hours went by that you totally forgot leaving him on read. You climbed up to your bed to rest your back to the headboard and opened your unread messages.
You: Hey svlr. School stuff.
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  He opened the chat and started typing right away.
  LJ: Oh good. I thought I did something wrong to upset you.
You: Not at all. I loved the pic by the way. It literally knocked my socks off.
LJ: Just the socks?
You: You can take the rest of it off yourself ;)
You scoffed. The flirty banter has always been there ever since you started talking but nothing really came out of it.
LJ: If only I could :(
You: I know. Covid’s a bitch.
You set your phone aside for a second to go to the bathroom. On your way, you picked up some snacks at the fridge and sat back down to your bed, only to find your phone blowing up.
LJ: If you're down maybe we could meet
LJ: It's totally fine if you don't want to
LJ: I just made it weird, didn't I?
LJ: I'm so sorry I brought it up in the first place
LJ: I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable
LJ: Hello?
LJ: I'm really sorry
You: Chill. I'm right here
You: I just went to the bathroom
LJ: Oh
You: I'd be lying if I said I don't want to meet you as well
You: Well... I wouldn't write off the idea
You: But with the Covid
LJ: Thoughts?
You: I don't think it's a great idea
The screen says Seen right at the bottom but it took him a couple more minutes before finally replying.
LJ: I understand
LJ: But in case you change your mind, I'll leave the time and place up to you
LJ: I’ll take care of the rest
LJ: Deal?
You: I'll sleep on it.
You: Speaking of sleep, I gotta go. Morning class.
LJ: Okay. I guess this is good night then
You didn't, in fact, talk to him the day after.
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You'd be lying if you said that you didn't want to see him and his abs in real life. But as someone who overthinks a lot, you just can't shake off the risk.
You: Good night. Talk to you tomorrow.
What if he's not really the guy in the pics? Or he’s psycho in real life? What if he's infected the virus?
You sighed.
Why must some global pandemic ruin your sex life?
You waited until the end of the day before you finally replied to LJ. The last thing that he texted was a brief good morning from earlier in the day and nothing else. He’s actually a pretty sweet guy, totally not worth ghosting, and you actually liked talking to him as a friend that you can share your sentiments with.
With your guilt finally eating you up, you took a break from your assigned readings and sat back at your bed to rest for the day. Your fingers hovered over the keyboard for a minute, thinking of something to say to him. It took you a few tries before finally hitting the send button.
You: So, I thought about it
LJ: And?
You: I need to know I can trust you
LJ: Okay. How?
You: I don’t know. Send me a proof that you’re real. Get tested?
You: Is that fine with you?
Within a split second, he sent his reply.
He actually did it.
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You couldn’t believe it but he actually did it.
LJ: Consider it done.
He got tested for physical, including the virus test, and passed with flying colors. He even sent you a vid of him inside a medical clinic.
He just sent the uncensored results this morning where you can clearly see his real name.
Lee Jeno.
LJ.
Seems legit.
Well, the uncreative nickname shouldn’t matter now because the results meant only one thing.
You’re gonna have to push through with your promise.
You got ready around noon that day. You can’t remember the last time that you actually got ready to meet someone that’s not a delivery guy or a relative passing on something to your family.
As someone who overthinks a lot, you actually got everything covered. You picked a place near a restaurant to eat. The police station is just a few blocks away just in case something happens, and right in front of a library…
“Where’re are you off to?”
You raised your backpack to show to your mother.
“I’m off to the library. I needed to get these renewed. Maybe pick up a novel or two.”
She looks at you from head to toe, eyeing that incredibly loose hoodie, faded denim jeans, some worn out sneakers that looked like it’s supposed to be thrown away years ago and a medical mask that covers about ¾ of your bare face. It’s just your usual attire whenever you go out for errands.
She just nodded and went back to watching her favorite soap opera.
“It’s nice that you’re out of your room for once. Take some cookies from the kitchen so you’ll have something to eat in case you get hungry.”
… as an alibi to get away from your strict parents.
As soon as you left the door and made sure that you’re out of sight, you found the nearest public toilet and grabbed a whole other outfit from your backpack. The hoodie is replaced by a white, ruffled see-through blouse and you ditched the jeans for a tight skirt that’s at least four inches above your knees. You tousled your hair a little bit and put on some powder and tiny hint of lipstick before putting your facemask back on again.
It’s been a while since you’ve done an elaborate scheme like this. Your skills got a little bit rusty, but they always work.
Sometimes you wonder if you’re really meant to be lawyer or a criminal instead.
You stepped out of the toilet and blended right back into society.
Now all you have to do is find wherever the hell LJ is.
Jeno sat anxiously as he waited for you right inside the café. He’s on his fourth cup of coffee but it didn’t do anything to calm his nerves down (geez I wonder why).
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You: I’m almost at the café.
He’s been staring at his phone the whole time. Once he received your message, which is a pic of you in the bathroom after the outfit change, he almost choked on his drink.
This message sent him on a panic as he turned his camera on to see how he looked. He did some minor adjustments to his hair and he wiped off his eyeglasses clean with the sleeves of his hoodie (which did nothing for him by the way) and then casually sat down and played it off cool like he hasn’t been waiting for you for over an hour.
On your perspective, you walked inside the café and looked around for LJ. Fortunately, there was only guy inside the café, twiddling with his phone on his hands and as he kept on peeking through the glass windows as if he’s looking for someone.
From afar, he actually looked really cute. His appearance, a shy, nerdy dude with glasses, looked way off from the fuckboy image that you expected him to have in reference to the messages that you’ve been getting from him.
It’s always the quiet ones that are kinky. You should know, you are one.
You walked over to his table and tapped his shoulders to get his attention.
He froze for a moment before he finally managed to turn around and face you.
“You’re actually here.”
“I know. I’m just as surprised as you are.”
tap tap tap tap
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The room is so quiet that the only thing you can hear is the sound of your heels tapping against the tiled floor. You can say that that is one of your observable annoying habits tapping your foot on the floor when you're a nervous wreck.
Sighing in retaliation, you removed your hoodie, fanning yourself as you tried to relax and get comfy on the hotel couch (which should be comfortable enough since you paid a shit ton of money on that room), switching the TV on to get your mind off of things. The lackluster array of shitty sitcoms didn’t distract you at all, but it instead reminded you of the reasons why you’re in that room in the first place.
Having nothing to do to pass the time, you paced back and forth in the room, finally sitting down once you realized that it looks way worse than you just tapping your foot. You folded your arms right across your chest, looking at the watch from time to time but the hands of the clock seem to be moving slower the more you stare at it.
Quarantine started almost a year ago and it's been very hard for you. Sexually. It's been almost a year since you've been touched by a man and you’re more than ready to jump on anyone’s dick at any this point,
Too bad that that dick is taking his sweet time in the bathroom.
tap tap tap tap
Your foot found its rhythm once again, only this time, you’re not nervous anymore. Your patience is wearing thin.
As if summoned by the constant tapping, the guy comes out of the bathroom, just casually drying himself while wearing nothing but the towel dangerously hanging on his waist and a boyish smile on his lips.
No biggie.
"Hey."
Suddenly, you’re not tapping anymore.
Head empty, just thoughts of a hot guy patting down a towel all over his toned body.
“I hope I didn’t make you wait for too long.”
He spoke, tossing aside the towel on his hands on the sofa, finally giving you a full view of him and all his glory.
You must admit, you’re skeptical at first. The guy that’s been sending you faceless thirst traps just days ago, telling you how he’d fuck you senseless looked a lot different from the guy who entered the hotel room just a moment ago.
He came in wearing those black oversized hoodies that did a great job in hiding his best features. His hair was a bit long for your taste, covering half of his face while the face mask hid the other.
But this man right here in front you, he’s Adonis.
You unconsciously bit your lower lip, earning a chuckle from the guy.
“I’m guessing that you’d like to start now?”
You nodded, the tension and awkwardness rendering you unable to speak.
He smiles as he takes the remote from you, turning off the television because the main show is about to start.
You started to tense up again, eyes wide as you realized that he’s now right beside you, wrapping his arms around you as soon as he sat down. He leans over, soft lips coming into contact with your exposed neck and shoulders, landing small pecks all over.
You sat there breathless as he slowly ran his fingers to the side of your thighs, tracing circles at it while giving small, reassuring kisses on your neck and shoulders. It’s as if he’s asking you for your consent, waiting for you to open up to him before he makes a move.
He got his answer when you turned around to face him, running your fingers into his cheeks before cupping his face, your lips finally touching his. He moved in the same pace as earlier, slow and calculating. You got a bit impatient once again, biting his lower lips gently to let him know that he can do more.
He grabbed you by the waist and successfully placed you on top of him. The kiss got even more sloppy as you ran your hands through nape, then into his soft locks. His hands travelled once again, finger running through legs again, stopping as soon as he reached the hem of your skirt, flipping it up to reveal the thin lace material that barely covered your core. You took that as initiative to remove the towel on his waist and grinded against his growing member, the friction and heat enough to earn a groan out of him.
He held your waist once again, firmly this time, halting your movement completely.
You broke away from the kiss, staring him in the eyes to read his face.
“Something wrong?”
“Hold tight.”
You were about to ask about what hold tight mean, but your arms cling unto him involuntarily as he lifts the both of you out of the sofa.
Jeno laid you gently in the bed, making sure not to break eye contact as he does so. He looked like he's about to eat you alive, which is enough to send flush to your cheeks.
“I would’ve loved to bend you over that sofa, but I think it’s just proper that our first time will be on the bed.”
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"God. You're beautiful."
He then ran his fingers towards the thin fabric of your blouse, feeling every part of your torso like he's memorizing every detail of it. His hands then travelled in your chest, squeezing the swell of your breasts on each hand, fingers shaking as he does so. It felt like an artist admiring his delicate work of art.
He situated himself between your legs, taking a moment to admire you first before doing anything else.
He started to run his hand on your cleavage and stopped on the uppermost button of your blouse, taking his time to remove all of them and placing a kisses at the exposed skin. After all of the buttons are taken care of, you lifted your body up and slid off the fabric. Your black lacy bra finally made its appearance. You took the liberty of taking that off too, as slow and as you possibly can.
 Jeno just stared at your body in awe, breathing heavily as his eyes scanned your naked glory.
 "Gorgeous."
He said under this breath before leaning down to claim your lips once again. You're turned on by how much attention he's giving your body now. You're usually loud in bed but his gestures are making you bashful. You've never felt this beautiful before.
You can feel his hands trembling as it travels all over your body, his kisses getting even more needy. There was moans of satisfaction every time he would lick your lips. Jeno was kissing you like you were oxygen and he needed to breath.
His hands travelled south, running across your thigh and your now aching core. You're about to remove your skirt and underwear but he stopped your hands midway.
"Keep it."
He took your hands away from your skirt and placed them just above your head.
"Just sit there and relax baby. Let me treat you."
You did just like he told you and gave him full control of your body.
"Good girl."
His lips brushed your ears, whispering sweet nothings about how beautiful you are under him. His kisses then went down to your neck, using his tongue and teeth, marking everything he can get his mouth on with his saliva. Meanwhile, his hands finally touched you down there, massaging your still clothed wetness.
His middle and index finger felt your slit, moving it in swift motion in search for your clit.
"Oh my god. That's it."
You gasped as his fingers finally hit the right spot, tossing your head back as his fingers made circles at your bundle or nerves.
You opened your legs more, leaning on your arms on your back, head tossed back and eyes closed as you feel your impending orgasm.
He dipped his hand inside your underwear and collected some of your essence with his fingers. The mental picture of him licking his fingers deliciously is enough to get you off for weeks.
It didn't take long before he took your panties off and his ducked his head down. He opened your legs once again and licked one long stripe on your core, making sure to taste all of you. You sat there and watch as he hungrily takes all of you in his mouth, acting like your pussy is a full course meal and he's been starving for years.
Within moments, you've become a moaning, toe curled mess. You ran your fingers to his blonde hair, guiding him on how to move his tongue and fingers on you. At one point, he bit some of your sensitive skin, making you scream a string of curses under your breath.
"Stop stop stop."
You grab a fistful of his hair and he paused from what he was doing. You pushed him gently away from you, leaving him staring at you confusedly. The confusion didn't last long when you flipped your current position, you're now on top.
"Can I ride your face?"
At this point, you're bold and horny enough to use your words and ask him. He just nodded, sliding himself from underneath you and went back to eating you like a champ. You grabbed his hands and placed them across your chest, squeezing your breasts to send him a message. He was quick to pick up and followed suit, pinching your nipples right in between fingers while your ride his face to orgasm.
"Shit. I'm coming..."
  You writhed from above him as you come undone. Your body felt cold all over. Your eyes are ringing, feeling dizzy as you almost passed out while you bucked your hips a few more times to milk your release.
You didn’t have time to recover when you heard your phone ringing from outside. Your legs felt a little shaky and you almost tumbled and hit your head in the wall if Jeno didn’t help you get up. You  sat down on the floor, butt-ass naked as you frantically searched for your phone from under all of your stuff before you finally pressed the answer button.
“Yes mom?”
“Where have you been? Your father’s been looking for you at the library. He’s picking you up on your way home.”
You buried your head on the couch to shake off the buzzing feeling on your head. You placed a pillow on your body while you searched for your discarded clothes all over the hotel room.
“Oh yeah. I went to the café and got something to eat. Tell Dad I’ll meet him outside the library.”
“Okay sweetie. Can you pick up some groceries on your way back? I’ll text you the list.”
“Yeah mom. Bye.”
You breathe a sigh of relief as you started putting on the outfit that you wore when you left home.
“Where are you going?”
Jeno reluctantly got dressed as well, his shy demeanor came back as soon as he wore his glasses and fixed his hair.
“I got to go, Jeno. I’m sorry that I’m leaving in such a bad time…”
You went over to him and placed a sweet kiss on his lips.
“I promise to make it up to you next time, okay? I’d love to meet you again.”
You grabbed a paper bag from your backpack and handed it to him, waving as you bolted out the door.
After fixing his things, he sat down for a moment and took a quick peek inside the package that you left him.
It was a ziplock bag of full of cookies and a whole other treat.
You left him your two-piece lace lingerie.
To be continued.
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jjmaybanksbaby · 3 years
Text
Where It Leads (Rafe Cameron)
Summer IV
Part 07: Crashing Down
series masterlist | previous part
summary: A jarring family emergency forces you to consider the future of your relationship with Rafe Cameron.
a/n: I'm a little bit emotional about this series ending because I've had so much fun writing it! Enjoy the last part and, as always, please come share your reactions with me in my inbox. Okay, that's all from me!
word count: 2.1k words
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Rafe Cameron knew how to text. He was somehow witty, charming, and hilarious all in less characters than a single tweet. Texting with most boys was like talking to a brick wall: single-syllable answers, unironic uses of punctuation, asking “What are you wearing?” before even listening to how your day went. Though, to be fair, Rafe had asked that same question a few times, which always earned him a sarcastic answer in return. Well, except for that one time.
You’d been forced to spill the beans about your dreamy summer romance to Alice and Kensie after one of Rafe’s funnier texts almost made you pee yourself laughing at the lunch table.
“Oh, so he’s a stud muffin,” Alice announced, peering over Kenzie’s shoulder at the photo on your phone.
“Please god don’t call anyone a stud muffin ever again Al,” Kenzie replied.
“What? The 80s are like making a comeback.”
“Yeah, not that,” you countered and Alice huffed.
“He’s totally hot though,” Kenzie said, handing the phone back to you. “And I kinda hate you for not telling us about him.”
You looked down at the picture. Rafe was kissing your check while you grinned up at the camera, the golden hour lighting made the whole thing look rather enchanting. It was your favorite picture of you and him.
“Oh shit,” Kenzie said causing you to look up from the phone. “You’re like in love in love with him.”
“What? No,” you protested. Yes, your brain corrected.
Kenzie glanced over at Alice for backup.
“Besides, I wasn’t hiding him. I just didn’t know if there was anything there to...tell,” you finished.
“I wish I had a handsome summer fling with spectacular cheekbones,” Alice sighed.
“Don’t let your boyfriend hear you saying that.” Kenzie chucked a fry off her tray at Alice who dodged it expertly.
“Oh, please. Matty knows I would dump his ass for someone who looks like a young Chuck Bass any day of the week. Gimme your phone. I wanna see the photos again y/n.”
“I seriously don’t know how you and Matthew have been together for two years,” Kenzie replied.
“Are you kidding? They’re practically made for each other,” you added.
“The phone, please,” Alice interjected. “I wanna thirst over your mans while my boyfriend is sucking up to his English teacher so she doesn’t fail him. Of course, I told him he needed to actually read Wuthering Heights and not just sparknotes it. But did he listen? No. I picked a real winner y’all,” she finished, taking the phone from your outstretched hands. “You sure Rafe doesn’t have any brothers? Not even like a half-step brother?”
So yeah, going great. Against the odds of three thousand miles, the whole thing was somehow working. Long-distance friends with benefits? Check. Well, except for those moments when that nagging feeling in your stomach came back and you’d start overthinking everything. His texts would sit, unread in your phone for days or even a whole week, slowly sinking to the bottom of your messages.
Then came the call from the Kildare Country Hospital in the early hours of a foggy April morning. You should have gone to sleep hours ago but were still up, desperately trying to cram Maria’s lines into your brain while also texting Rafe. The Sound of Music opened in three weeks and your director had already chewed you out twice for not being off-book, something about being an upperclassman and the lead, and what kind of an example were you setting for the rest of the program. Big speeches were kind of your director's thing, you learned to just ride them out.
Around 1 a.m. your phone ran with an incoming FaceTime call from Rafe. You pressed the green acccept button, a smile spread across your face as Rafe’s own filled the screen.
“Hey Broadway Star.”
“Hi Rafe.” The dim lighting of his bedroom made his feature especially striking. “What are you still doing up?”
“Can’t sleep. Plus you’re up too so. How’s the memorizing going?”
“Shitty,” you replied, closing your binder with a sigh. “I’m too tired to do anymore of it tonight anyway.”
“You know, I was thinking I could come to Oregon for your opening night?”
“Really?” The possibility of Rafe sitting in the audience made your heart race.
“Yeah, why not? I’ll ask Ward if I can borrow the plane that weekend and I bet Sarah’ll want to come too. I wanna see my girl kill it. I miss you.”
“I miss you too, Rafe. You know my friends think you’re hot.”
“Oh, do they?” Rafe replied, rolling over onto his back in his bed.
“Don’t let it get to your head, Cameron.”
The home phone ran but you ignored it, much more invested in your conversation with Rafe. The second time the hospital left a message. Your Nonna’s heart had given out. The prognosis wasn’t good. She had barely any time left.
Your heart dropped as the words echoed over the speaker of the answering machine.
“Rafe,” you said, cutting him off momentarily. “I gotta go. I’ll call you back later. I gotta-” you ended the call before Rafe even had the chance to respond. You dropped your phone on the kitchen table, dashing up the stairs to your parents’ bedroom. Your father was booking a flight for your mother back to the Outer Banks minutes later.
The end had come so quickly, so unexpectedly. It was almost like that made it harder. There'd been just enough time for your mom and uncle to get to the Outer Banks, sitting on each side of your Nonna as her final breaths passed through her lungs. Now, everyone was there to say goodbye one last time. Uncle Austin and his fiancé. Your mom and dad. Both your siblings. The entire population of Figure Eight.
☼☼☼
Rain drizzled down from the dark, gray clouds looming overhead. It was as if Mother Nature was mourning your Nonna too, hiding the sunshine away.
Three baby ducks followed their mama into the man-made pond at the edge of the cemetery. You watched their tiny feet kick up small waves disturbing the peaceful water and the tears silently slipped down your face.
The cars were waiting to take you back to your Nonna's house for the wake. The same house with the for-sale sign now stuck in the front yard. The for-sale sign with Rose's patronizing grin that you were starting to really hate. Your dad had handled that. Listing the house. He'd handled most of the funeral arrangement's actually because your mother had been too sunken into her grief to make any decision. Sending out the invitations, picking out your Nonna's casket, choosing the flowers. Your mother clung to him during the entire funeral, weeping into his shoulder.
“Y/n?” Rafe's voice called out from behind you and you turned to see him walked toward you. He’d stood at the back of the church with his family during the funeral. You had longed for him to be sitting in the first pew next to you, to have had his hand to hold onto to ground you, but it hardly would have been appropriate. Your Nonna would have sooner risen from the dead than have had a Cameron front row at her funeral.
As soon as he was close enough, Rafe reached for you, pulling your body tight into him. Your head landed on his chest and the sobs came moments later. God, he always smelled the same. He just let you cry, holding you close, smoothing his hand over your hair.
“I know you’re selling your grandma’s house but I was thinking you could stay with me for the summer," he said as your tears began to slow. It was hard to imagine that you wouldn't return to the Outer Banks once school let out. It was the first week of May already and you could feel the tourist-attracting town waking up. But selling the house just made more sense. Your older sister was already living her life in New York, a real adult life. Next summer, you'd be moving out too, headed to college. The house would sit empty for eight months out of the year, your family couldn't keep it and your uncle certainly didn’t want it. Selling it just had to happen.
You stepped back, slipping out of his embrace. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Rafe.”
“Why not?”
“Cause we’re like Romeo and Juliet.”
“I copied Cleo’s notes for that unit," he joked, trying to lighten to damp mood. “Plus I was never a fan of Leo DiCaprio so I didn’t finish the movie either.”
“It means we’re not supposed to be together, you and me. And whenever we try, the universe rips us apart. We hurt each other.”
Rafe shifted awkwardly on his feet, clearly wanting to reach for you again but stopping himself from doing it. “But I can't lose you.”
You reached your hand out, brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. “Oh Rafe, don’t you get it? You never really had me.” You stood up onto your tiptoes to kiss him just like you had the first time three years ago. Rafe barely parted his lips, kissing you back gently. Your hand cupped his face, your thump stroking over his cheek. It was a goodbye. Both of you knew it. It was an ending and this was your closure. You pulled away, your hand falling away from his face.
You couldn’t bring yourself to say the actual words. Your eyes fell to the ground. You needed to walk away now. You side-stepped Rafe but he grabbed your waist, turning you back around to face him.
“So that’s it? You’re not even gonna try to fight for us?”
“What even is there to fight for, Rafe? I’ve been fighting for us for the past four years. If we were supposed to be together that car wouldn’t have crashed into ours, I wouldn’t have fallen for Evan when I did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation at my Nonna’s funeral. What? Are we supposed to do long distance for all of college? I hardly know who I am right now. I have no idea who I’ll be in the next four years. Our future selves might not even like each other. I’m not gonna wait around for you Rafe and I would never ask you to do that for me.” You twirled the small, star charm between your fingers, a nervous habit you'd developed over the past year. His eyes dropped down to your neck momentarily and his adam's apple visibly bobbing as he swallowed his next weeks.
“You were it for me, you know. I tried to give a fuck about anyone else but I couldn’t get your gorgeous, stupid face out of my mind. I only wanted you.” Rafe paused gauging your reaction “I was falling in love with you.”
Your eyes wandered over his stoic expression. “The feeling was mutual, Rafe Cameron.”
He dropped your wrist but you both stood, not moving or saying anything. “Do you wanna walk me back to the car?”
“Yeah.” He reached for your hand, interlocking your fingers. Your other hand held onto his bicep so you walked together through the graveyard back to the parking lot.
The moment felt precious and delicate, like the fragile china your Nonna used to collect. You wondered what would happen to all that china.
Rafe placed a chaste kiss on your lips before opening the door of the car.
“I’ll miss you,” you said, the words hanging in the air meaning so much.
“Me too,” Rafe agreed.
You wanted one more kiss, one more passionate declaration of how much this all had meant but that would make leaving Rafe so much more impossible.
You climbed into the car, dropping Rafe’s hand in the process.
“See you around Cameron.” You knew it wouldn’t happen but it felt better than a goodbye.
He smiled back. “Maybe so.”
Perhaps Rafe was right and you’d both end up at a small liberal arts college in California taking the same second-year Econ class with a professor who always smelled like weed. Perhaps the stars would align and two of you would realize the universe wasn’t trying to keep you apart. It was just waiting for the right moment to show you that the love you had for each other was the soulmates, forever and ever kind of love. Perhaps you would get married and Sarah would be your maid of honor, of course. You’d buy back your Nonna’s house to raise your troubling-making kids in. Perhaps, you would find your way back and wake up each day and choose each other again and again.
Or perhaps, he'd always be your right-person-wrong-time. And, in the end, the passing days will steal away your memories of the blue-eyed boy from the Outer Banks.
taglist! @oreoenthusiast13
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penisman420-69 · 3 years
Note
A gentle glow from the computer screen washes over the dark desk, colors flickering in rapid motion. The monitor whirs in self defense of the growing heat. The ceiling fan lays mockingly silent in the stifling air. Reclined in his seat, Dream's head is tilted back to watch the wooden slats for the slightest tremor.
Betrayal.
Beads of sweat collect near his hairline. He tugs absently on the sticky plastic of his headphones, where they rest around his neck. The small light on the exterior blinks green.
"Dream?" He hears George say faintly.
"Wait, did he leave?" Sapnap asks.
"It says he's on the call, still." George's voice slowly grows closer. Dream begins to detach his eyes from the fan. "Dream?"
The concern in his voice makes Dream sit up. He pushes his headphones back on and wipes his face. "Yes, yes, hello, sorry. I zoned out for a sec." He blinks to register what's on his screen, seeing green grass blocks and Sapnap's avatar crouching in front of him. "Shoot, did you end the stream?" He quickly tabs out just in time to see George laugh.
"No, but I'm about to. Couldn't end it without you saying bye," George says. The small considerate act is enough to bloom a warmth in Dream's chest.
He smiles. "Oh, alright. Bye stream!"
"Bye!" Sapnap yells.
George waves to the camera. "Bye you guys, thank you so much. Also, pray for Dream's air conditioning."
"And my broken fan," Dream adds.
"Bye bye," George repeats, then disappears from Dream's view. This stream has ended. A familiar feeling creeps into Dream's chest whenever that message appears post-stream; disappointment clouded with confusion. Today, it is accompanied by trickles of regret.
He frowns. "Sorry I spent so much of your stream complaining about the weather," he says, clicking back to the server. Sapnap has placed an oak sign before him that reads: wee waa dream can't take the heat. He rolls his eyes and breaks it.
"It's fine, really. I just feel bad for you," George says. His avatar bounds over and starts placing doors on the ground. "Any idea when it'll be fixed?"
"Soon, I hope," Dream answers with a huff, opening and closing the doors to appease George. "I don't think I can take much more of this." They'd been playing for the past three hours, meaning Dream had been accumulating enough sweat in his boxers to stick to his chair for much longer than any man should. Physical comfort was a key component for him to stay mellow, and not much could distract him from itchy tags and blistering heat. Not much, that is, besides gaming. "Seeing you was nice, though, something about your cheerful face distracts me from my agony," he confesses, words leaving his mouth before he can attempt to filter. He cringes. What was that?
"Oh my god, shut up," George says. He sounds embarrassed.
Sapnap coos. "Maybe I should stream with my camera on too."
Dream laughs, running away from the two of them to ease his sudden spike in nervousness. "That would keep my attention."
"Oh yeah, are my streams not interesting enough for you Dream?" George says, flying after him.
"What?" Dream says, feeling a pang of guilt. "What makes you think that? I love your streams."
George continues to act offended. "If you loved them you wouldn't zone out randomly."
"I didn't mean to," Dream whines, which only makes the other two laugh. "I just got distracted by my misery, and tried to airbend a breeze in here."
"Yeah right," Sapnap says, "you couldn't have been doing just that for ten minutes."
"Ten minutes?" Dream repeats, bewildered. He didn't feel it had been that long; he was exploring the map and then clicked onto George's stream to see where he was, and of course George was smiling and yelling, but somehow so full of energy and spirit, and the hot air started to seep into Dream's soul—
"You were AFK for a while," George says, "we were still talking to you though and thought you'd muted yourself or something. Chat thought it was embarrassing."
"Oh," Dream says.
"Hold on, did you mean to mute yourself?" Sapnap asks, laughing as his own words leave his mouth. "Lil too excited watching George?"
Both Dream and George explode in disgusted yells. Good lord, Sapnap.
"Sapnap!" George sends a series of hits raining down onto his avatar. "You are so inappropriate off-stream."
"You're gross," Dream says with a laugh, but it's feeble and half-hearted. His pulse is rapidly drumming inside his skull. He is not lost to the strange dilemma of why he faded from their call for so long to stare at his George-less ceiling. Why did George have anything to do with it? Envy, perhaps, of his friend's ability to be wearing a hoodie in the middle of summer. He brushes it off. "It's true, though. George's face does get me excited."
George groans, making Sapnap and Dream laugh. "Now you're just trying to make me uncomfortable."
"Flustered, you mean," Dream inputs quickly.
"Okay, no, I'm sick of you two," George says, immediately exiting their server. "Consider this a rage quit."
GeorgeNotFound has left the game. Dream sends a :( into the chat.
"Noo, Georgie," Sapnap pleads.
"You did a great job today," Dream says, wholeheartedly. "I'm going to re-watch what I missed of it later." George laughs.
"I seriously have to go. I'll talk to you soon," he says, a small sound emitting from Discord signifying he's left the call.
The feeling returns to Dream's chest—it's akin to the cold rush that follows when he removes his hands from a steaming coffee mug. Some nights after their friends have logged off for good, he'll do anything to avoid giving in and going to bed. Twitter, mini-games, coding, creating playlists. His favorite nights, though, are when George wakes up early enough to keep him company. Their conversations radiate with the warmth of both the Florida night and the English sunrise.
So whenever George jokingly becomes angry with him, Dream can't dispel the tiny tremor of worry that maybe he's gone too far. He doesn't like to mull over the thought of them really fighting; it would terrify him like nothing else. He knows George will call again tomorrow, and that he isn't nearly as upset as he lets on. Yet he still finds himself carefully watching the dot next to George's name switch from green to a pale grey.
"I think I'm gonna hop off too," Dream says to Sapnap.
"Alright, seeya."
After disconnecting, he swivels around in his chair to face his bed. The dark comforter has been kicked to the floor, sheets askew. The window above his bed is shut tight to keep out the humid air and insects, but he can see the soft orange streetlights in the distance.
He sighs and wishes for rain.
He remembers running barefoot on his neighborhood streets as a child when storms would roll in from the sea, splashing in gravelly puddles and letting the cool raindrops dampen his hair. That space was always euphoric—a brief temperance from the smoldering air, green palm trees swaying in the wind, the hint of thunder and lightning—but it feels so far from him now. Especially in this dreadful weather.
He turns off his computer and begrudgingly gets in bed. He's nearly grown accustomed to the dark when his phone vibrates, the notification lighting up the room. He squints.
A text from George.
I feel like this song is a good way for me to get back at you, it reads. Dream clicks on the link, opening his Spotify to a new 'Glass Animals' song.
"Heat Waves," he responds, smiling. Very funny.
He'll listen to that in the morning. As he sets his phone back on the nightstand, Dream finds himself warmed by the gesture, even though it was an insult on his behalf. George is a thoughtful guy. Nothing wrong with appreciating that. Not that Dream finds it unnerving that interacting with George has a direct correlation with his general contentment and moods; in fact, it isn't worth the overthinking.
Settled by his own logic, he allows his body to focus on sleep. He slips in and out of shadows, occasionally tossing and turning in irritation at the cotton sheets. The fabric clings to his dampened skin up to the moment he sluggishly kicks it away. Something clatters to the floor, but Dream rolls onto his side.
Eventually, the night cools enough for him to sink deeper, and deeper, until he turns his head from his soft, warm pillow to a cold pile of sand.
Confused, he grasps at the foundation beneath him only for the rocky grains to slip through his fingers.
He sits up rapidly, glancing at the beach now surrounding him. Although the image is narrow, he can tell there is a murky-purple lagoon lapping a few feet before him. The moon ripples across its ominous surface. The night is quiet; a taunting breeze brushing the back of his neck and bringing chills down his spine.
He looks down at his hands, seeing his bright sleeves pushed halfway up his forearms. Bright green.
A sinking feeling begins to rot in his stomach as the familiarity sets in. He's been here before. He shifts his head cautiously, realizing where the shadows at the edge of his vision are coming from, and raises a hand to gently graze the ceramic covering his face. He doesn't need a mirror to know what the mask looks like.
He pulls up his hood, tensing as he anticipates the next subject he'll recognize. At any moment, behind his right shoulder, a voice will call from the edge of the trees that'll say—
"Dream?"
He freezes. That's—that's not right, it isn't supposed to be—
"George?" He asks quietly, turning around with caution. George stands a few feet behind him, goggles perched atop his head and an axe in his hand. He's looking around their location, dazed. The starry sky reflects itself on his lenses.
He walks across the sand towards Dream slowly. "Where...are we?"
"Um." Dream considers curling in on himself, but can't help fighting the comfort of honesty. "My head, I guess." He knows from experience that this place values integrity more than anything. Facing it head on, so to speak. He just doesn't know why he'd let George in here—it isn't safe.
"It's pretty," George says, sitting on the sand next to him.
Dream's heart aches faintly at his remark. Once, he'd thought it was pretty, too. He can't find the words to tell George that after so many years of frantically slipping on the sand, coughing up lung-fulls of the dark water, and running from the woods—it has become a thing of nightmares.
He stares at George. Can he feel the memories here?
"So this is..." George gestures around with his axe vaguely. "Florida?"
Dream cracks a smile. "Yeah, you finally made it," he teases softly. George's grin is bright enough to make him look away. "It's a lagoon I used to come to as a kid."
"You make it sound like that was lifetimes ago."
Something foreign and lost weighs on the tension in Dream's features, forgotten behind the ceramic. "Maybe," he says, "I've had multiple lives here."
George says nothing. He lifts a moon-soaked hand to point at the water. "Do you see those?"
Dream turns his head, and small glowing blobs appear near the shore. Their light blue color is stark against the darkness as they float idly.
"They're moon jellies," Dream says in disbelief. He's never seen them here before. The curling darkness steals all hint of life besides him, his beating heart, and occasional whispers in the wind.
George hums in approval. Dream looks at him again, grateful for the mask covering his own features. Pale moonlight makes George's skin glow a soft porcelain, pink lips pressed together in a delicate brush stroke.
The word bubbles up from deep in Dream's chest, winding into his bloodstream and landing gracefully in his head.
Beautiful.
He wants to back away from it, to shove it deep down. But for once, it feels safe here, safe to admit it to himself without needing an air of humor to skate by on. Here, it isn't a joke.
"Why are we here?" George asks in a murmur, gaze lifting to face Dream. The word here hangs with a heavy lilt, as if he'd meant to say, what brought me? Who pulled me?
Was it you?
In his large brown eyes Dream can see the faded reflection of his sloppy black and white smile.
"I know why I'm here," Dream says carefully, "but I don't know why you are." A brief rustling of leaves and twigs behind them causes him to tense again. "It's dangerous here, George. We should go."
"Why? Don't you want to stay in this memory?"
Dream ignores the comment, and lightly wraps an arm around his shoulders to help him up. George doesn't try to stand. He keeps them rooted to the white shore with a confused frown.
"Nothing is going to hurt us when I'm here," he says.
Dream feels his face grow hot. "Knock it off. This is serious."
George looks at him earnestly. "I'm being serious."
Now that his arm is draped protectively over George's small frame, Dream becomes extremely aware of how close they are. He can sense George's body heat, watch his chest rise and fall, see the goosebumps on his neck. Dream's heart begins to pound. For how long has he wanted to meet him? To hear his voice in person? The fear inside him slowly begins to ebb away into fondness.
The moon jellies rapidly multiply until the lagoon is dappled blue, and gleaming.
George grins. "I told you it's pretty."
"Because of you," Dream says warmly. Even though George rolls his eyes, he means it. They laugh lightly at each other, glowing water and gentle sparks blooming as the moment passes.
George's gaze lingers on Dream for a few heartbeats, before letting go of his axe. He raises his hand to reach for the ceramic mask.
Dream freezes as his eyes follow the motion. His hood falls when George runs his fingers gently through his wavy hair—he can't remember the last time he let someone do this. It feels intimate. It feels terrifying. His eyes shut when George finds the metal clasp on the back of his head, he exhales when he feels the weight of the mask drop from his face.
The breeze is cold on his cheeks. He can smell the nearby saltwater. He opens his eyes, and sees twice as many stars as usual.
"How did you do that? I've never..." He looks at George, who is smiling softly.
"I know honesty is important to you," George says. His hand moves to gently touch Dream's cheekbone.
Dream reaches and delicately takes George's hand in his, slender knuckles and fingers sliding together with timid grace. He feels alive. He leans closer, studying George's eyes until he slips down, further, to his soft lips. His breath is trembling.
"And what if I kissed you right now?" He murmurs, heart racing. "How honest would that be?"
George's eyes grow wide. "I—well, Dream—you—" he stammers, giving Dream exactly what he needs to let go.
Their movements happen nearly all at once—the inclining of George's jaw, the slide of Dream's hand into his hair, the connection of their lips. The kiss is raw with emotion, and gentle. Hot embers rise from Dream's chest to heat his face. The soft presence of George's mouth against his own is surreal, as their senses collectively slip away into the dreamland. His hand rises to softly cup George's jaw. He pulls his face closer, breath hot, heart stuttering. Nervous energy quickly ebbs into a strong hearth of longing, as he kisses George again, and again, and again. George emits a soft noise that makes Dream melt. He can feel George's hands in his hair, then on his neck, then on his chest.
Dream pulls away to capture brief puffs of air. His chest rises and falls rapidly, as he looks at George's flushed cheeks and mouth kissed red. Because of him. A low feeling stirs in the space just below his ribcage, the first flickering of a dangerously hot flame. All of it, all of George, just for him.
Dream parts his lips to say something, anything—and promptly wakes up.
I have heatwaves saved on my computer it doesn't phase me anymore I've read this several times you can't hurt me with this
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rikuphobic · 3 years
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A gentle glow from the computer screen washes over the dark desk, colors flickering in rapid motion. The monitor whirs in self defense of the growing heat. The ceiling fan lays mockingly silent in the stifling air. Reclined in his seat, Dream's head is tilted back to watch the wooden slats for the slightest tremor.
Betrayal.
Beads of sweat collect near his hairline. He tugs absently on the sticky plastic of his headphones, where they rest around his neck. The small light on the exterior blinks green.
"Dream?" He hears George say faintly.
"Wait, did he leave?" Sapnap asks.
"It says he's on the call, still." George's voice slowly grows closer. Dream begins to detach his eyes from the fan. "Dream?"
The concern in his voice makes Dream sit up. He pushes his headphones back on and wipes his face. "Yes, yes, hello, sorry. I zoned out for a sec." He blinks to register what's on his screen, seeing green grass blocks and Sapnap's avatar crouching in front of him. "Shoot, did you end the stream?" He quickly tabs out just in time to see George laugh.
"No, but I'm about to. Couldn't end it without you saying bye," George says. The small considerate act is enough to bloom a warmth in Dream's chest.
He smiles. "Oh, alright. Bye stream!"
"Bye!" Sapnap yells.
George waves to the camera. "Bye you guys, thank you so much. Also, pray for Dream's air conditioning."
"And my broken fan," Dream adds.
"Bye bye," George repeats, then disappears from Dream's view. This stream has ended. A familiar feeling creeps into Dream's chest whenever that message appears post-stream; disappointment clouded with confusion. Today, it is accompanied by trickles of regret.
He frowns. "Sorry I spent so much of your stream complaining about the weather," he says, clicking back to the server. Sapnap has placed an oak sign before him that reads: wee waa dream can't take the heat. He rolls his eyes and breaks it.
"It's fine, really. I just feel bad for you," George says. His avatar bounds over and starts placing doors on the ground. "Any idea when it'll be fixed?"
"Soon, I hope," Dream answers with a huff, opening and closing the doors to appease George. "I don't think I can take much more of this." They'd been playing for the past three hours, meaning Dream had been accumulating enough sweat in his boxers to stick to his chair for much longer than any man should. Physical comfort was a key component for him to stay mellow, and not much could distract him from itchy tags and blistering heat. Not much, that is, besides gaming. "Seeing you was nice, though, something about your cheerful face distracts me from my agony," he confesses, words leaving his mouth before he can attempt to filter. He cringes. What was that?
"Oh my god, shut up," George says. He sounds embarrassed.
Sapnap coos. "Maybe I should stream with my camera on too."
Dream laughs, running away from the two of them to ease his sudden spike in nervousness. "That would keep my attention."
"Oh yeah, are my streams not interesting enough for you Dream?" George says, flying after him.
"What?" Dream says, feeling a pang of guilt. "What makes you think that? I love your streams."
George continues to act offended. "If you loved them you wouldn't zone out randomly."
"I didn't mean to," Dream whines, which only makes the other two laugh. "I just got distracted by my misery, and tried to airbend a breeze in here."
"Yeah right," Sapnap says, "you couldn't have been doing just that for ten minutes."
"Ten minutes?" Dream repeats, bewildered. He didn't feel it had been that long; he was exploring the map and then clicked onto George's stream to see where he was, and of course George was smiling and yelling, but somehow so full of energy and spirit, and the hot air started to seep into Dream's soul—
"You were AFK for a while," George says, "we were still talking to you though and thought you'd muted yourself or something. Chat thought it was embarrassing."
"Oh," Dream says.
"Hold on, did you mean to mute yourself?" Sapnap asks, laughing as his own words leave his mouth. "Lil too excited watching George?"
Both Dream and George explode in disgusted yells. Good lord, Sapnap.
"Sapnap!" George sends a series of hits raining down onto his avatar. "You are so inappropriate off-stream."
"You're gross," Dream says with a laugh, but it's feeble and half-hearted. His pulse is rapidly drumming inside his skull. He is not lost to the strange dilemma of why he faded from their call for so long to stare at his George-less ceiling. Why did George have anything to do with it? Envy, perhaps, of his friend's ability to be wearing a hoodie in the middle of summer. He brushes it off. "It's true, though. George's face does get me excited."
George groans, making Sapnap and Dream laugh. "Now you're just trying to make me uncomfortable."
"Flustered, you mean," Dream inputs quickly.
"Okay, no, I'm sick of you two," George says, immediately exiting their server. "Consider this a rage quit."
GeorgeNotFound has left the game. Dream sends a :( into the chat.
"Noo, Georgie," Sapnap pleads.
"You did a great job today," Dream says, wholeheartedly. "I'm going to re-watch what I missed of it later." George laughs.
"I seriously have to go. I'll talk to you soon," he says, a small sound emitting from Discord signifying he's left the call.
The feeling returns to Dream's chest—it's akin to the cold rush that follows when he removes his hands from a steaming coffee mug. Some nights after their friends have logged off for good, he'll do anything to avoid giving in and going to bed. Twitter, mini-games, coding, creating playlists. His favorite nights, though, are when George wakes up early enough to keep him company. Their conversations radiate with the warmth of both the Florida night and the English sunrise.
So whenever George jokingly becomes angry with him, Dream can't dispel the tiny tremor of worry that maybe he's gone too far. He doesn't like to mull over the thought of them really fighting; it would terrify him like nothing else. He knows George will call again tomorrow, and that he isn't nearly as upset as he lets on. Yet he still finds himself carefully watching the dot next to George's name switch from green to a pale grey.
"I think I'm gonna hop off too," Dream says to Sapnap.
"Alright, seeya."
After disconnecting, he swivels around in his chair to face his bed. The dark comforter has been kicked to the floor, sheets askew. The window above his bed is shut tight to keep out the humid air and insects, but he can see the soft orange streetlights in the distance.
He sighs and wishes for rain.
He remembers running barefoot on his neighborhood streets as a child when storms would roll in from the sea, splashing in gravelly puddles and letting the cool raindrops dampen his hair. That space was always euphoric—a brief temperance from the smoldering air, green palm trees swaying in the wind, the hint of thunder and lightning—but it feels so far from him now. Especially in this dreadful weather.
He turns off his computer and begrudgingly gets in bed. He's nearly grown accustomed to the dark when his phone vibrates, the notification lighting up the room. He squints.
A text from George.
I feel like this song is a good way for me to get back at you, it reads. Dream clicks on the link, opening his Spotify to a new 'Glass Animals' song.
"Heat Waves," he responds, smiling. Very funny.
He'll listen to that in the morning. As he sets his phone back on the nightstand, Dream finds himself warmed by the gesture, even though it was an insult on his behalf. George is a thoughtful guy. Nothing wrong with appreciating that. Not that Dream finds it unnerving that interacting with George has a direct correlation with his general contentment and moods; in fact, it isn't worth the overthinking.
Settled by his own logic, he allows his body to focus on sleep. He slips in and out of shadows, occasionally tossing and turning in irritation at the cotton sheets. The fabric clings to his dampened skin up to the moment he sluggishly kicks it away. Something clatters to the floor, but Dream rolls onto his side.
Eventually, the night cools enough for him to sink deeper, and deeper, until he turns his head from his soft, warm pillow to a cold pile of sand.
Confused, he grasps at the foundation beneath him only for the rocky grains to slip through his fingers.
He sits up rapidly, glancing at the beach now surrounding him. Although the image is narrow, he can tell there is a murky-purple lagoon lapping a few feet before him. The moon ripples across its ominous surface. The night is quiet; a taunting breeze brushing the back of his neck and bringing chills down his spine.
He looks down at his hands, seeing his bright sleeves pushed halfway up his forearms. Bright green.
A sinking feeling begins to rot in his stomach as the familiarity sets in. He's been here before. He shifts his head cautiously, realizing where the shadows at the edge of his vision are coming from, and raises a hand to gently graze the ceramic covering his face. He doesn't need a mirror to know what the mask looks like.
He pulls up his hood, tensing as he anticipates the next subject he'll recognize. At any moment, behind his right shoulder, a voice will call from the edge of the trees that'll say—
"Dream?"
He freezes. That's—that's not right, it isn't supposed to be—
"George?" He asks quietly, turning around with caution. George stands a few feet behind him, goggles perched atop his head and an axe in his hand. He's looking around their location, dazed. The starry sky reflects itself on his lenses.
He walks across the sand towards Dream slowly. "Where...are we?"
"Um." Dream considers curling in on himself, but can't help fighting the comfort of honesty. "My head, I guess." He knows from experience that this place values integrity more than anything. Facing it head on, so to speak. He just doesn't know why he'd let George in here—it isn't safe.
"It's pretty," George says, sitting on the sand next to him.
Dream's heart aches faintly at his remark. Once, he'd thought it was pretty, too. He can't find the words to tell George that after so many years of frantically slipping on the sand, coughing up lung-fulls of the dark water, and running from the woods—it has become a thing of nightmares.
He stares at George. Can he feel the memories here?
"So this is..." George gestures around with his axe vaguely. "Florida?"
Dream cracks a smile. "Yeah, you finally made it," he teases softly. George's grin is bright enough to make him look away. "It's a lagoon I used to come to as a kid."
"You make it sound like that was lifetimes ago."
Something foreign and lost weighs on the tension in Dream's features, forgotten behind the ceramic. "Maybe," he says, "I've had multiple lives here."
George says nothing. He lifts a moon-soaked hand to point at the water. "Do you see those?"
Dream turns his head, and small glowing blobs appear near the shore. Their light blue color is stark against the darkness as they float idly.
"They're moon jellies," Dream says in disbelief. He's never seen them here before. The curling darkness steals all hint of life besides him, his beating heart, and occasional whispers in the wind.
George hums in approval. Dream looks at him again, grateful for the mask covering his own features. Pale moonlight makes George's skin glow a soft porcelain, pink lips pressed together in a delicate brush stroke.
The word bubbles up from deep in Dream's chest, winding into his bloodstream and landing gracefully in his head.
Beautiful.
He wants to back away from it, to shove it deep down. But for once, it feels safe here, safe to admit it to himself without needing an air of humor to skate by on. Here, it isn't a joke.
"Why are we here?" George asks in a murmur, gaze lifting to face Dream. The word here hangs with a heavy lilt, as if he'd meant to say, what brought me? Who pulled me?
Was it you?
In his large brown eyes Dream can see the faded reflection of his sloppy black and white smile.
"I know why I'm here," Dream says carefully, "but I don't know why you are." A brief rustling of leaves and twigs behind them causes him to tense again. "It's dangerous here, George. We should go."
"Why? Don't you want to stay in this memory?"
Dream ignores the comment, and lightly wraps an arm around his shoulders to help him up. George doesn't try to stand. He keeps them rooted to the white shore with a confused frown.
"Nothing is going to hurt us when I'm here," he says.
Dream feels his face grow hot. "Knock it off. This is serious."
George looks at him earnestly. "I'm being serious."
Now that his arm is draped protectively over George's small frame, Dream becomes extremely aware of how close they are. He can sense George's body heat, watch his chest rise and fall, see the goosebumps on his neck. Dream's heart begins to pound. For how long has he wanted to meet him? To hear his voice in person? The fear inside him slowly begins to ebb away into fondness.
The moon jellies rapidly multiply until the lagoon is dappled blue, and gleaming.
George grins. "I told you it's pretty."
"Because of you," Dream says warmly. Even though George rolls his eyes, he means it. They laugh lightly at each other, glowing water and gentle sparks blooming as the moment passes.
George's gaze lingers on Dream for a few heartbeats, before letting go of his axe. He raises his hand to reach for the ceramic mask.
Dream freezes as his eyes follow the motion. His hood falls when George runs his fingers gently through his wavy hair—he can't remember the last time he let someone do this. It feels intimate. It feels terrifying. His eyes shut when George finds the metal clasp on the back of his head, he exhales when he feels the weight of the mask drop from his face.
The breeze is cold on his cheeks. He can smell the nearby saltwater. He opens his eyes, and sees twice as many stars as usual.
"How did you do that? I've never..." He looks at George, who is smiling softly.
"I know honesty is important to you," George says. His hand moves to gently touch Dream's cheekbone.
Dream reaches and delicately takes George's hand in his, slender knuckles and fingers sliding together with timid grace. He feels alive. He leans closer, studying George's eyes until he slips down, further, to his soft lips. His breath is trembling.
"And what if I kissed you right now?" He murmurs, heart racing. "How honest would that be?"
George's eyes grow wide. "I—well, Dream—you—" he stammers, giving Dream exactly what he needs to let go.
Their movements happen nearly all at once—the inclining of George's jaw, the slide of Dream's hand into his hair, the connection of their lips. The kiss is raw with emotion, and gentle. Hot embers rise from Dream's chest to heat his face. The soft presence of George's mouth against his own is surreal, as their senses collectively slip away into the dreamland. His hand rises to softly cup George's jaw. He pulls his face closer, breath hot, heart stuttering. Nervous energy quickly ebbs into a strong hearth of longing, as he kisses George again, and again, and again. George emits a soft noise that makes Dream melt. He can feel George's hands in his hair, then on his neck, then on his chest.
Dream pulls away to capture brief puffs of air. His chest rises and falls rapidly, as he looks at George's flushed cheeks and mouth kissed red. Because of him. A low feeling stirs in the space just below his ribcage, the first flickering of a dangerously hot flame. All of it, all of George, just for him.
Dream parts his lips to say something, anything—and promptly wakes up.
oop there’s the entire first chapter of heatwaves
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heresathreebee · 4 years
Text
Garrote part 10
[Starz Power Diego Jimenez x Jazmine Mann (Black!OC)]
Word count: 3.1k words
Warning(s): Mature | Gun phobia, stalking. Diego and Healy get POVs in this one while Jazmine gets some R&R with the help from her mother. This is a plot only chapter, sorry. Previous Masterlist Next
Author’s Note: No beta reader and I’m far too exhausted to edit properly. After this story, I’m gonna adjust exactly how I format my fics. My million other fic ideas plus my debate over participating in NANOWRIMO this year have been keeping me from working on this too much, I figured it was time to put this up since the last chapter was posted in September... 
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The rest of the day went by with a subtle ease. The temperature was just perfect for a coat and Diego seemed to have nowhere to be. Bordering on the miraculous, it was the man himself who asked her if she wanted to go out and have fun. Feeling caught off guard, Jazmine elected to throw caution to the wind and suggest something other than a fancy nightclub to hang out in. And when Diego heard the name, his jaw dropped. 
Two-Bit’s Retro Arcade. 
He did not ask why (though he did scoff, but more so in amusement than derision). Julio was elated to hear the address (apparently he’d been before), and Miguel looked crestfallen to have to stay at the penthouse. The journey from ritzy apartment to 25 cent arcade felt like being washed in time, stepping backwards into her past with a piece that didn't belong in that memory. 
The place was decently busy, there seemed to be no parties bigger than five. A collection of young kids took up the classics section, rotating between Dig Dug, Pac Man, and Tapper Light. The young man who played pinball every day was there. She didn't know his name but she knew his three letter handle because he had the highest score on every pinball machine in the arcade. The rest were small and easygoing groups, buying beers and gathering around prize winning claw games or Dance Dance Revolution. 
"Do they have air hockey?," Diego asked over her shoulder. He was dressed down per her request, in a simple hoodie and jeans. She kept glancing at him, feeling drawn to the simplicity of liking a simple man. 
"Over here." She had no intention of hiding how familiar she was with this place. Diego gave Julio a nod and the man dissolved into the background but was never out of sight. Suddenly, Jazmine became very aware that there were now at least two guns in this public space. Air hockey was... occupied. "Looks like a college tournament. Come on, we're not going to be able to play for like a week." 
She grabbed his arm to guide him away, but the man didn't budge. He stared those college boys down, looking for a fight. If he started something… 
"Diego. Diego! Please… it's just a game, I know a better one we won't have to share." 
At last he acquiesced and followed behind, never more than a foot away. She didn't realize she was holding her breath and wondered if those guys noticed his staring… they probably thought it was normal though. 
Jazmine brought Diego to the darkest corner of the arcade where nobody was or needed to pass by. If she stopped dead in her tracks, Diego would have tripped over her immediately for how close he was, but now that he had her exclusive attention, she didn't mind. She gestured to her favorite game and smiled. 
"Welcome to Marvel Vs Capcom: Clash of Superheroes," she announced. "Nobody plays this version because there's a huge glitch that sometimes makes one character untouchable." 
"OK." Diego wore a sly grin. No doubt he intended to find the cheat character and win all matches, but Jazmine knew all of this game's little secrets. 
Unsurprisingly, Diego's first pick was Wolverine. Jazmine refrained from rolling her eyes and let him work through the board of player characters, picking her own at random and sometimes picking the one she knew would fair better against his character to make it an even game. She watched his brow grow tighter and tighter as he couldn't find the broken character. He even switched up strategies– picking the characters that looked the least strong and working up from there (the opposite of his earlier choices). At last, he picked Chun-Li, having not noticed Jazmine picked it three times already, and he glanced at her face once more to see if she reacted, but the woman gave nothing away. Not until he looked towards the screen did she crack a smile. 
The way the smugness drained off of Diego's face made her smile broaden. He looked at the controls as if they were to blame, then to Jazmine and back to the screen where Chun Li had walked off of the edge of the screen. Annoyed, he leaned over the controls menacingly and waited for an explanation from the Cheshire cat grin on his partner's face. 
It took her awhile to answer him– she was trying really hard to fight the bubbling laughter in her belly. "Yeah, that um… that's what I was talking about. If you play the same character four times, the game breaks. You can't be hit but you also can't hit and you need to hold down the joystick to keep from walking off the edge of the screen… if you let them get away, well… you have to unplug the whole system." 
Diego looked pissed. He stared her down for so long she gulped but eventually, he freed her from his penetrative gaze. His hand slipped under her jacket and found a home at the base of her spine, and suddenly she was being whisked away towards the bathrooms. 
"Where are we–" 
Diego wasted not a breath and pushed her into the women's bathroom (unsurprisingly closet sized), before crowding her space to step inside and lock the door behind. Her heart began to pound against her chest as he turned and fixed her with a commanding glare. He moved as sly as a big cat, forcing her to find purchase against the tiny wood counter with the sink and leaning over her with his lips pressed to her nose. 
He said something softly in Spanish that she didn't understand, but it sounded sultry and it sent a pleasant shiver down her back. She thought he was going to kiss her, but then there was something hard and heavy he pressed into her hand. 
A gun. 
Her eyes bulged– glancing quickly between him and the shiny dark metal of the killing contraption– and shook her head minutely. 
"Take it," he said. She just kept shaking her head, hiding her hands beneath her arms and feeling dizzy, on the verge of passing out. He growled. "I wasn't asking." 
If he wasn't pressed against her, she would be rocking for comfort. Jazmine did not like guns. Her eyes misted over as she whispered, "why?" 
"They've been following us since we left." He slid the wretched mechanism up along her arm and let it rest just below her collarbone. "Haagen's men probably. They're getting bolder– probably by their master's orders." He tilted his head as if he was speaking of something completely mundane as he said, "did you really think those air hockey guys were college students? It's a Thursday." 
Jazmine didn't mean to whimper, but she managed to keep her tears at bay long enough to touch a finger to the gun, not quite taking it, but letting him know she would. She let him show her the safety and slipped it into the back of her pants, careful not to hurt her and demonstrating an awareness of her southpaw. He was almost hugging her when he finally stepped back (as far as the little toilet would allow). When his heel clinked against the porcelain, he turned to make sure he hadn't stepped in a mess, and Jazmine bolted. 
~
"Hello?" 
There was no one else's voice she wanted to hear more than that of Lashawn Mann. Jazmine felt guilt well up alongside the anxiety that had been threatening to consume her for weeks. 
"Mama?" Her voice sounded so small in her own ears. "Can I come over and see you?" 
"Of course, baby. You can come see me right now: I'm at your place." 
Jazmine caught a cab from Essex street home, and though Diego possessed an acute lack of awareness for personal space or feelings, he did leave her alone for a while. No SUVs with fake licenses trailed her home, no voicemails and no texts came through. She put it in airplane mode to make sure things stayed that way. She had a thought to drop Healy's hearing aid down a drain but put it in her pocket instead. 
Lashawn was waiting with Hercules. The tiny bit of annoyance Jazmine usually felt about getting slobbered on washed away the instant she saw her furry grey friend. The woman plopped her butt onto the ground and let the dog run amok in excitement to see her again. 
"Mom…" Hercules settled down in her lap and weighed her to the earth like an anchor for a ship at sea. "If something happens to me, will you take care of her?" 
"What do you mean 'if something happens to you'? Child, I ain't heard from you in two months and you come back with that?" Lashawn sat down on the floor despite her bad knees and leaned on her daughter's shoulder. "Baby, what's going on with you?" 
~
Estupido. She shouldn't have run away like that. 
Diego was overthinking in the backseat while Julio sat in perfect silence. The driver would have preferred the radio on, but his boss demanded the proper atmosphere to brood in. Taking what little he knew of the woman, Jazmine was probably going to retreat to her apartment since he lived in the only other place she was safe. Whatever– she would return in her own time. Unless her own time hindered their operation. 
We can't lose this opportunity. We are so close to Porsche and revenge. Hurry up, cariño. Make our next move. 
Diego was stuck deep inside his head even as he stood with his sister hours later in yet another huge warehouse with examples to be made of. Alicia wiped the blade of her knife onto her bodyguard's sleeve, then turned the blade over to her brother. 
"Finish the last one, will you?" 
Diego hummed, distracted by the conversation at the edge of the half circle. He did not like what he heard. He dug the blade straight into the crying man's heart, then cut his throat just for good measure. The blood on his hands was drying before he was able to speak again. He and Alicia were sat in her limo across from each other. She tactfully ignored his piercing gaze, while he worried the stickiness between his fingers mindlessly. 
"What's this I hear about you staying in New York?" 
Alicia glanced coolly up from inspecting her nails. "What do you mean? Someone needs to run the business." 
"That's what that idiot and your little fuck toy Dre are for. They deal with shit here while we get Porsche back, and then we go home. Together." 
"No," she shrugged. "Dre can't be trusted, Diego. I'm staying, you're going back to Mexico. We can split parent: the girl comes to live with me for a while and then with you. Every month or so…?" 
Diego's hands ball into fists and his teeth hurt from the pressure of keeping his jaw closed. Fucking puta, he thought as the car slowed to a stop. Exiting the car, the man pulled himself up to his full height and reveled in the brief moment of fear that registered on her face. 
"I'm not your errand boy, hermana. I don't do things because you think it's convenient. And I won't be sent away like an annoying pest so you can trounce about in luxury while I'm stuck doing peasant work. Am I the only one worried about that little fucking girl?" 
Through the marble stonework of her mask, he saw the cracks in her armor. "We can talk about this later, Diego." 
"Do you even want her back?," he sneered. 
"Stop it!" 
Alicia pushed him out of her way and disappeared quickly, her entourage scurrying to follow her. Diego looked to his men to find them with their eyes cast down as if they were witness to something they should never see. He stormed away with his head full of rage and more questions than answers. 
~
Meanwhile in a stuffy police office space, Healy was getting chewed out. His superiors figured him out, and now he was sat in interrogation with a furious pair of agents awaiting an explanation and disciplinary action. 
"You took it too far, Healy," his boss said. "I mean, you have really outdone yourself this time." 
"Yes sir." 
"Fucking A, right!" Agent Brasa slammed her hand on the table. No doubt she was chewing a huge wad of nicotine gum and gunning for his immediate firing. "This was our case, Healy, ours. Mine and Holbrooke, not yours!" 
Holbrooke remained ever brooding, silently leaning against the wall and watching the scene unfold. Though they made remained neutrally poised, he could tell by the pinch in their brow they were just as angry as Brasa. Healy had given up trying to talk to Brasa, and instead appealed to Holbrooke this time. 
"You two have every right to be angry with me–" 
"Oh do I??" Brasa cut in, "I didn't realize I needed your permission to be pissed off!" 
"-- but I did it because I had an 'in.' I saw an opportunity that only I could have seized, and–" 
"Are you really going to let him get away with this, Stahlworth?" Brasa looked accusingly at their boss, who merely scratched at his neck and closed his eyes as if keeping them open pained him greatly. 
"Brasa. Holbrooke. Out. I'll handle this the way I see fit– and don't argue with me, Marie, or I'll put you on suspension." 
The two stormed out into the hall, and finally Healy was able to breathe. As soon as he had been confronted by Stahlworth, he had come clean– setting up a covert op without agency permission and using a civilian to distract the perp while he slipped a mole into the organization and collected information. Brasa and Holbrooke had done amazing work– they discovered Haagen was the head, profiled the victims, and knew many of the locations of the exchanges– but they couldn't get any further to seizure warrants or when the exchanges were taking place. 
Healy looked pleadingly at Stahlworth. "They didn't have the resources to cover all those locations with proper 24 hour surveillance, Jack. Haagen is always one step ahead of them– of us– anyways because someone in this very organization is on his payroll. I don't need the glory, I don't want the case to myself– I just want this fucker behind bars. If you have to suspend me, I understand, if you have to fire me, I get it– but please don't throw out my evidence. People's lives are on the line, and Brasa and Holbrooke need this info–" 
"Who's your informant?" Healy snapped his mouth shut as the dreaded words left Stahlworth to hang menacingly in the air. "Healy? Who. Is your. Informant? Who are you working with? Give me a clearer picture of what you've been up to, and maybe I'll ask the DA to go easy on your ass." 
Healy gritted his teeth and dug his heels in. "I can't tell you any of that. A mole for a mole, I can't afford to trust that the eyes and ears in this very room are sound. Now if you want to pass this case back over to the agents it belongs to, I just have a few conditions concerning the safety of–" 
"Is this about Meghan?," Stahlworth asked. 
Healy's voice died in his throat. A lump formed and he had to swallow it down before it consumed him completely. Standing from his chair, Healy buttoned his coat and came face to face with his boss. 
"This is about the kids I can still save. Sir."
~
After LaShawn helped Jazmine pack her belongings, the daughter decided to take Hercules to the park for some fresh air. Her mother had made it clear she wanted Jazmine to move back in with her since she'd lost her job, but what she didn't know was that before Healy and Haagen, Jazmine was two months behind on rent, and she should have lost the lease to her apartment weeks ago. As it stood now, the landlord hadn’t bothered her once– so someone was paying her bills. Exactly who would remain a mystery as Diego, Healy, and Haagen possessed the means and the interest in keeping her in New York City, so she tried not to think too hard about it. 
Jazmine picked a spot in the grass and let Herc off the leash. She threw a beat up tennis ball with a little cheap plastic arm and watched her happy grey pupper zip around picnickers and other dog walkers, always stopping to be petted by every little girl and boy who squealed happily to see her. The woman was jumpy and constantly on edge, but for some reason she barely flinched when Diego sat down next to her. 
"I'll be honest, I'm glad you're here," she said without looking his way. 
He took the plastic arm and threw the next ball watching Hercules trot over hill and dale for this throw. "Did Healy tell you about Porsche?" 
Jazmine turned to see the dark bags under Diego's eyes. "He said something about a missing baby… is that what you mean?" 
The man leaned into her shoulder. "Yes." 
"I'm sorry, Diego." 
"I want my baby back, Jazmine. I want to watch her grow up happy and healthy and loved." He turns to look at her with an expression of maturity she didn't think he was capable of. "That's why I need you. We need you. You're probably scared, but you can't be more scared than that little girl is right now." 
It felt like a punch to the gut. Part of her was annoyed by his dismissal of her fear, but for the most part she understood. It wasn't hard to figure out what happened to older girls and boys in Haagen's ring, but what the fuck was he doing with babies? The thought twisted her stomach until her head ached from nausea. 
Diego continued, scratching at his eye to cover the build up of tears that threatened to spill out. "Healy said he found evidence of sales for kids under 13 that looked more like adoption papers than anything. Requirements for private education and a separate bedroom, things like that. He said he has a stack with no names but six of them are around her age with the name of the adoptive parents on it. It's a start." 
"It's a very good start." Jazmine placed her hand on Diego's back and let him curl into her side with a sigh. "It means she's still alive, that's fantastic... do you think Haagen noticed the papers were missing? He probably has so many…" 
Diego shrugged noncommittally and dragged her down to lay in the grass with Hercules. As he did, she felt the gun in her pants dig into her back, tightening that fist clenched around her heart. She was safe for now, in this moment. But would she ever be again?
@mental-bycatch @nicke0115 @1zashreena1 @girlpornparadise @kid-from-new-zealand​
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somebodyelsse · 3 years
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If I lift up my head I just realize that I'm fighting with a ghost, I don't even know their names, I'm struggling everyday with someone that it's no one, not one or two, not a few. I'm fighting daily with something that I can't really tell what it is, an obsession, insecurity, toxicity, a phantom that leads me to madness, to overthink things too much, like I'm not enough, less important, I'm not that great, not that cool, not that relevant or necessary. I'm not the first person that you think about in the morning or the last one, I'm not the one you want to keep your secrets, your feelings or your thoughts, how can I be less than a screen, than some random strangers? How could I ever be more than them? No matter how hard I try, nothing could replace them, nothing could ever make you think than they're less than perfect, the greatest, the coolest, the most relevant because if I look up I see you trying to avoid messages, trying not to answer but you go away, making excuses so you could answer, if I look up I see them in the middle, I see me feeling tiny, doing my best to be whatever they are, as if I was competing, running for deserving more, I see me wanting not to be a ghost anymore.
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kyunsies · 3 years
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Hello hello Mädch!!
Dw once a week sounds awesome, what ever fits with you and makes you feel comfortable and happy! I'm going to see if I can make my reply a tiny bit shorter as well so that it's easier for you. Tell me more about your rotations! How did they go? Did they go well? I really hope they did.
When you get this you're probably working really hard for your first exam. I am sure that you will do super well and I'm sending all the positive luck and vibes and energy that I could possibly possibly send to you!! Make sure you take care of yourself and eat and hydrate too <3 <3 I'm a Scorpio! Oh my goodness me, I can't believe that you are a Sagittarius! Two of my best friends are Sagittariuses as well, I just seem to get on super super well with Sagittariuses haha :D so our friendship was clearly meant to be. . I used to be a lot more uptight about achieving things and worrying about every little thing, but I have taken the whole 'things will happen' attitude because I realised it was giving me way too much anxiety otherwise? I don't know, if not I find I end up overthinking. But we are starsign neighbours! Are you an early Sagittarius or Sagittarius? Is that the right term? I'm not sure... Like, a November Sagittarius or a December Sagittarius?
Thank you very much for the recommendation, I love what you suggested. My coworker and me actually work on different sides of the Atlantic, so I think I might ask for us to have just a nice sit down phone call? Just something that is more chill and less business like to be able to just connect more? I'm so sorry you've had to deal with the same though. Must be even harder in hospital where, I don't know, I always have the idea that everyone working in hospitals I lovely and generous and kind because they work with people, but I'm sure it's not like that in real life and people clash like in any other workplace...
Oh my goodness me, thank you so much for telling me more about post up care and all your assurances. I'm not going to lie, I feel so much more comforted. I think I might have to go under anaesthetic for the operation, but some one told me the other day that one out of 600,000 people that go under general anaesthetic die? Which I know is theoretically a very small amount of people, but it still freaked me out a little bit? You must get this all the time though, and you're just like, it's okay, chill out, it's totally fine! You're too patient <3 <3
Laundry at 8 am! You are so so proactive. Omg :D I'm still sitting in bed sending emails, I can't imagine doing laundry. Thank you for being so nice, I've been questioning my leadership a lot these past few days, I'm not gonna lie. I'm sure everyone has doubts at some point, but I always just worry about doing the best for everyone. But I hold you in very high esteem, so it's very kind and sweet that you don't see me as a swan that is desperately trying to paddle ha ha ha ha XD I feel like a swan in that way. If you could be a bird, what bird would you be?
I get what you mean about just handling pressure! I think it's good you have these high expectations for yourself, it means that you always do well no matter what do you do. But I hope that you don't feel like you have to live up to other peoples expectations, or that you don't we need to compare yourself to them. But I get with you completely. I saw the same when it comes to expectations but I hope that your mate at the end of the day you have all the confidence in your power too! And confidence and who you are I will always change and grow on shift, you know?
Like, when I first started uni I feel like I knew what confidence was and I thought it meant all this bravado that I saw from people around me that I thought were more successful, but I really learnt that wasn't the case and then in my line of work I thought it meant being on screens all the time or on social media all the time and having lots of followers, but I had to learn that that really wasn't the way too. I know that sounds so dumb and obvious, but I always find I need to experience things to really disprove them, like an experiment kind of thing? Oh my gosh, this is long but basically what I mean is that being who you want to be is the most important thing and I am rooting for your ascension! Oh my gosh, that sounds like some strange ritual thing XD you know what I mean haha...
Good to hear that my assumptions about East versus West Coast but right! What you were saying about midwest people is so interesting though - it's nice that people see you as nice though, that's at least it's nice and sweet stereotype? I agree with you, I wouldn't want to bring up my kids in California - I had no idea they had the stuck up stereotype! I would've thought that was more New York City! The celery juice does nothing for you had me rolling oh my gosh, I have no idea good drink celery juice in the first place… That sounds so gross? Tbf all my friends that have moved to LA for work always eventually say that it's a horrible place to live, and that they wouldn't want to stay there permanently. Do you like your hometown? Is it a nice place?
I am still living for this bluebell perfume! I am really excited to get a new Joe Malone at some point. I was going to ask your coffee by it last week, but I'm biding my time? There are some nice basil and citrus ones too I'm considering? The perfumes are just so beautiful! It had been ages since I've been into a shop, you know when you walk into somewhere and then scents and stuff just remind you of memories? It was like that - scent hug haha XD
OMG OK WE VIBING I would be down to being engaged right now, but like, if it felt super right? My mum has been the same as your mum when it comes to relationships, so I never felt the need to have to have a partner, but it is that comfort of having your person right? Yes! I wish this soon for both of us too! In a healthy, good positive manifestation kind of way <3 <3 but you will always have me of course as well!
Thank you so much for sharing these photos with me. I so so love the floral vibe that you have going, it's so so pretty. It's kind of like a mini mystical fairy land? Especially with all the wooden furniture. You have a good eye for interior decorating!! How much of the furniture is yours? It looks cold out your window. Is it cold there? You have the sunniest smile! I'm glad you and your family are doing well and yes yes yes, do keep updating me with how your clinicals are going, I hope you feel like you're slowly on the way to achieving your dreams as you do them! Also, I feel like I keep sharing my weird stories, so it is nice to hear your stories always, as you can share anything with me no matter what it is!
Take care, good luck for Tuesday, and I hope everything goes exactly as you wish this week! Thinking of you always, rooting for you!
Love you lots and lots - 💥
hello angel !!!!! again, thank yo always for being patient :( i told myself that i would answer this ask throughout the week, but honestly just didn't have a good week mentally so i just wanted to wait until a good time to answer :/ but hopefully you'll be able to see this soon bub, thank you for ur patience <3
also i don’t want u to feel like u have to shorten your asks okay?? ;_____; i didn’t mean for it to come off that way if i did last week bub, i’m sorry!!! i love hearing from you and i appreciate the long asks bc ultimately that means u care about our time spent together and that means a lot to me :( so make them as long as you wish !!!!! so first and foremost, my exam! it went well :) i got an 88% and i know that’s obviously not my best, but getting a good grade on the first exam of the year is always a good feeling, right? so i was happy!! i have another exam this upcoming Wednesday, which im really nervous for LMAO i started studying for it yesterday :’) and OH GOD u are a scorpio huh??? i don’t have a lot of female scorpio’s in my life, however my older cousin is and she’s quite,,,,,,,,,well, let’s just say my whole life i’ve wanted to be like her but she kinda looks down on me? idk, i just felt like i put her up on a pedestal my whole life and she didn’t really give me the same type of feeling (which is fine lol) we don’t talk much anymore ;_____; but you are the polar opposite from her??????? since i compare all scorpios to my cousin i’m scared of all of them HHH but i’m glad u have totally demolished my fear of scorpios :’) u are an absolute sweetheart <3 and you have a lot of sag friends it seems !!!! :D that’s so awesome to hear, and now i’m one of them ??? gosh <3 and !!!! i’m a early sag!! my birthday is december 4th !!! but the weird thing is, i was born 2 month premature, so idk if i really am a sag ya know? i basically took my destined starsign and said “f u” i’m popping out early LSDKJF so it’s all so confusing isn’t it??
also about the coworker, were u able to set up something with them? have any of the conflicts been able to resolve at work? i know it was kind of a silly suggestion, but its just sometimes the work setting either makes ppl thrive or brings the worst out of them you know? my aunt works in management at a really big pharmaceutical company here in the states, and i can tell you she is another kind of stressed when she’s in the work setting, but she’s one of the sweetest ppl you’ll ever meet outside of work !!!! i think the stressful part of communication comes out of the equation when u talk with them outside work :’) i hope all goes well hun !!!! as for the hospital setting OH GOD lol no, we are not all sweet and generous unfortunately :’) esp with the older  nurses, not all o them but a lot have this superiority complex against new grads, and now that theres a nursing shortage due to covid new grad nurses are coming into these hospitals with huge sign on bonuses that the older nurses don’t have. i can see there being an increased hostility in the nursing field soon ;_____; and don’t even get my started on physicians’ assistants ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, they hate nurses ;______; 
and oh my gosh babe pls don’t worry about the statistics about the anesthesia okay ??? you are a young and healthy individual, key word YOUNG !!! we worry about elderly patients going under anesthesia but pls bub, they’ll take care of you in there, these ppl have been doing this for such a long time it’s second nature to them okay? the nurses will tell u how to take care of everything after it’s all done, your dr will be there for you, everything will be great <3 
it’s currently 935am right now and my stuff is in the dryer LOL the reason why i do my laundry so early here is bc in my dorm there are only 3 washers and 2 dryers so i want to just get my stuff done early before someone hogs the machines for the entire day (which it happens!) lol but otherwise i probably wouldn’t start until like 10am or so :’) also LSKDFJ i feel like if i were a bird i’d be a freaking hummingbird with a heart rate of 0394823094 beats per minute all the damn time,,,,,,,,,, and ;_____; ah love that makes me really sad that u doubt yourself :( like i said before i think managing ppl and being in the leadership role is so stressful, but the fact that you just want everyone to be taken care of and flourishing, i already know you care about ur work a lot and that just validates that you are wonderful at what you do! you put things into perspective for everyone, for the GOOD of everyone and i think this is a great quality <3 the more you care, i think the more you’ll find ways to dig yourself out of these hard times bc of the fact u care so deeply, does that make sense? 
and about dealing with pressure !!!!yeah ,,,,, like i think you and i are similar in the fact that we just deal with it right ?? like given we have a lot of things to worry about, yeah it’s really stressful and overwhelming but like, it HAS to be done right? like so many students will complain about the workload they have (i do too lol) but like, what are u going to do about it you know? you can’t NOT do it,,,,,you just have to plow thru it ,,,,,,, and like i know my previous roommate would cry about stuff like that but it’s just like we can’t really do anything about stress besides go thru it there’s no going around it, ya know? lol but also WAIT I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY like having to experience “hardships???” to like, fully get the beef of them ,,,, idk how to say it but i know exactly what you mean !!!! MY ASCENSION SLDKFS D PLS ......you’re making me sound like an angel hhhh if u feel that way about me THANK YOU <3 hehe 
LOL but yeah me comparing the east and the west coast again was a very large generalization as well but bc i’ve lived here all my life it’s a bit true :’) New York i would say is definitely like, work hard hard hard and when u see ppl walking around going to work in this big city 24/7 it motivates you to work harder, and i’m not saying like stalk brokers or anything !!!!! new york the ppl work extremely hard (restaurant businesses, the police department, small mom and pop shops) everyone is working so hard , it’s something i adore about the east coast PLUS the architecture is super quaint ,,,,,, it’s called new england style and everything is brick and old and just so lovely <3 and not to say everyone from the west are mean or anything LOL like i said a lot of states out west are actually ranches and farms but its just like California and washington state/oregon where you have more lively city stuff :’) i just hate LA with the biggest passion lol but the rest of cali is beautiful and chill, it’s just LA life seems so artificial :’)
THE BLUEBELL PERFUME is still one of the small things that makes me happy to put on everyday , it’s so lovely and i don't know why i was so drawn to it ;_____; i smelled everything and i thought i would love the basil +citrus ones but alas, bluebell won my heart and i think it’ll be my signature perfume now lol i never want to part with it :( i really suggest getting it if you feel like it’s the one :(((( and SKLDFJ yeah !!!!!!! WOULD LOVE TO BE ENGAGED !!!!!!!!! i just want the comfort of knowing someone loves me besides my friends and family LDKFJ like ,,,,,,,,, i’ve never had a love interest in my entire life HELL i’ve never even kissed anyone before and i just like , want to experience all of my firsts with someone :( i sound like a child but i’m nearly 23 and haven’t even freaking kissed anyone how lame is that <3 nsfw but honestly some days i’m just like ya know what i’m just gonna go on a dating app and beg for someone to take my virginity LKSJFLSFJ but then i’m like NO NO that’s not how u want it to go you want to have someone take care of you and you want to feel comfortable and have fun doing all of these things so i think my safest bet is to just ,,,,,,, hopefully find a bf first <3 ITS A WHOLE THING HUN but basically yes we both need to manifest engagement when we’re ready <3 lol 
LASTLY thank you so much for liking my room hun !!!!! it’s nothing special and it’s a shoebox for a room but it’s okay :’) all of the things are mind besides the desk and the bed frame !!!! so the mattress and duvets are mine, that black dresser thingy by my bed is mine (i get all my stuff from ikea lol) !!!!! as for my clinical rotations, they’ve been okay !!!!! it’s been nice doing home health actually not bc of the patents per se LMAO but all of my nurses have been so sweet <3 on friday our last patient was from Puerto Rico and we were not told this so we had to try and communicate with them with a translator on the phone but he was only available for a short amount of time so we had to figure out the rest ;_____; they were so sweet but my spanish skills are next to none other than a few words so it was difficult lol but we got thru okay :) also on thrusday we saw an elderly women who had just gotten back from the hospital the day before but she was like, gasping for breaths i felt so terrible :( while i was getting her vital signs (blood pressure, temp, pulse ox) her pulse ox (the thing we put on your finger) read in the low 70s which is so terrible (should be 92% or higher) (basically this reading shows us how many hemoglobin molecules are on a red blood cell, so how oxygenated you are) and obviously she wasn’t so good bc she had COPD and was having such a hard time breathing so i told my results to my nurse and she told me to listen to her lung sounds and i heard crackles (telltale signs of fluid buildup in the lungs) and we had to admit her to the hospital again :( i felt so bad bc she had just been released but we didn’t want her suffering at home anymore :( but other than that everything else has been fine so far hun :’) 
i again thank you much for being super patient with me and i hope to hear from you soon this week okay? love you to the moon and back a million times <3 
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