#i cant say i love you

[cthonicdemon]

Hello, I forgot this place existed (again) I'm done with poetry class, but poetry will never be done with me it seems.

When everything and everyone has left and gone away

Will you still regret the words you could have but didn't say?

Three small words change the world or tear it all apart

Simply because it opens a door or breaks a weakened heart

#my writing #writers on tumblr #my poerty #poetry #poets on tumblr #wrote this on a whim #love poem #love poetry #i love you #i cant say i love you

[perfectlyripeclementine]

calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.

#nonbinary love #nblnb yearning #nb4nb #nblnb #wholesomeposting #yearning hours #ive been thinking about how some languages dont have a possessive tense #so you dont say “i have a thing” but rather “a thing is by me” #and like im not usually one for psycho linguistics and like critical thoughts etc etc etc #but i really like the framework of responsibility/commitment rather than ownership #i think about this mostly in terms of ecology #and relation to land #but i also love it as it applies to language shared between lovers #like i LOVE calling them mine or for them to call me theirs #but i'm also nonmonog and that was kinda weird to square for a while #and it clicked one time when i was talking about my neighborhood and i was like well #when i say my neighborhood or my city it's understood i'm not taking it away from anybody else #its understood i just mean the city where i live #so why cant we apply the same to lovers? #mine in the way i want to show up for you again and again #ok #done now

[yuzuuu4]

doctor's orders

#and if i say i lost it when i saw that #guy who tells you to solve your own problem goes tell me if you cant go on to his coworker #and they were coworkers....................... #haikaveh coded mfs i love them #ratiorine #dr ratio #veritas ratio #aventurine #hsr aventurine #honkai star rail #hsr

[juniemunie]

Happy Errorink Day y'all

I did a redraw on the very art that started off my brainrot on these two for nearly a decade,,, wowie

-...-...-...-

Ink!Sans by @comyet

Error!Sans @loverofpiggies

-...-...-...-

and because i couldn't resist-

#junie art post #errorink #error x ink #ink x error #error sans #ink sans #utmv #these two. these TWO. #so much words i can saytheir stories. their parallels. their impact to the fandom. their meta connection to us. #but honestly ppl have said it better than me #imma just say. i love them a lot. #i love their growth #look at how far theyve come #cant wait to see how far they and their creators can go #im rooting for you all and ur endeavors #love love love #errink #error sans x ink sans

[tubbytarchia]

I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional

#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian #joel smallishbeans #smallishbeans fanart #trafficblr #Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this #and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please #Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have #Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him) #But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but) #And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol #I love them so #oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying #but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy #Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea #tubby art

[yrsonpurpose]

Please stay gorgeous and strong and unbelievable. I miss you I miss you I miss you I love you. I’m calling you as soon as I send this, but I know you like to have these things written down. A ✿ / ❀

#rwrb #rwrbedit #red white and royal blue #alex x henry #firstprince #userninz #userveronika #chrissiewatts #usernuria #usersteen #userclara #usermegsb #usermaloune #mine* #been wanting to make a full one of these since the movie came out so now... the full (incomplete) list!! #something about this email thread just makes me want to stand in a dark room and scream #the realisation alex has about henry offering alex an out and that it actually Was a big deal to him to say that #if no ones loving me like this then keep it i dont want it #'i know you like to have these things written down' and then it gets leaked 😔😔😔 #alex saying that he cant match henry for prose but coming up with this list anyway #bc henry doesnt need all of the fancy words in the same way he just needs alex. and HIS words. and how he expresses his love in his own way #mhmm.

[wasyago]

so, would you?

nothing important under the cut, you don't need to look haha

#inspired by the random youtube short i saw about how these types of questions are not really about logic but about emotion and reassurance #doesn't matter if the question doesn't make sense. you say 'yes' because you love them no matter what. not because its a worm or a bug or #or anything. its a way of saying 'i will love you when you've changed and when you're different. because it's still *you*.' #idk something about it just felt so gentle and genuine. like a pure display of affection through a silly question... #and of course fnc was the first thing i thought about because i got brainworms #jrwi fish and chips #jrwi riptide #jrwi chip #gillion tidestrider #my art #sketch #also im back from a vacation! and i feel so awful i got sick the first day home and im sitting here at 6am drawing fishes and chips #the dialog feels a little ooc but i cant figure out if it really is or if its because my head hurts and i cant think #tbh it doesn't really matter.......... but it matters to me augh #ALSO yes the under the cut bit is about episode 109. i dont know if its clear or not

[lucabyte]

Not all who wander are lost. Some who wander, however, are extremely, extremely lost.

#note: this is a kitchen in a house of change. they are still on the road w the party #not to say i think that maybe chillin out in one location with some loved ones and planned visits from their friends would fix siffrin #but i am saying that they do seem to hoard random items at every given oppertunity. which is an interesting habit #isat #isat fanart #in stars and time #in stars and time fanart #isat spoilers #sifloop #isat siffrin #isat loop #sloops #lucabyteart #but yeah no i dont actually know that siffrin would wwwant to be . travelling literally forever. given the. well. um #that one QnA answer especially. the immediate deflective joking when asked how long they'd been a traveller. mm. #it's not like they chose this life is the thing. and we know they have a habit of forcing themselves to 'stick to the script' #i really do think they'd be better for some stability. its not like you cant have a house and also go on fun travel holidays also #(if you want my real opinion. why not just move to bambouche to help raise bonnie. but. that's fanfic territory at that point)

[arundolyn]

"Oh, this? Don't be ridiculous! It's not a marriage certificate! Look closely, okay? Throw away all your hangups, and simply do what you feel. Aren't you just dying to sign it? Won't it feel good? 3... 2... 1... sign!"

#elphelt valentine #guilty gear #guilty gear strive #poses #respects #crow.gif #guilty gif #this is probably all for now im kinda going through it rn im tired #but i love her so very much #fun fact of the two(?) lines for her silly little scoot respect. the wedding one she scoots way longer. like half the screen #i put it here bc its funnier to me #normally its like... a third of the distance for the other ones #its a concert poster on the gif bc i think player 2 was i no i cant be fucked to change it #why does she say that line like shes a magician also girl you sound like youre about to start doing card tricks

[sp0o0kylights]

I saw a video today that said, “It’s very uncomfortable as an adult when your friend starts to date somebody who sucks, and you’re all looking at each other going ‘Guys, if this is the person who makes them happy…I think collectively as a unit we can agree that we would rather see them sad. So what's the plan?’” 

And immediately went: modern Steddie AU were Steve dates his high school friend Tommy and everyone is tearing their hair out over how awful he’s being treated. 

Ft. the Party, led by Dustin, hounding Eddie “I could get a man in a SECOND, I just CHOOSE not to date” Munson for help

However:

Eddie is mostly thinking the entire thing is a joke (King Steve and Tommy Hagan? Gay? Together?? Nice try Henderson.) until he runs into Robin. She laments that yeah, they’re bi, but more importantly, Tommy is fucking awful and Steve refuses to see it. 

2. Eddie, maybe, kind of, still has a crush on Steve ("Stop laughing Gareth, everyone has--had! Had a crush on him!") and the guy was never THAT bad in high school---but Tommy Hagan definitely was and a little revenge would be fun.

and finally;

3. Instead of going with the kids' well intentioned but very misguided “Let’s get Eddie to Steal Steve” plan, Eddie meets up with the Robin/Nancy/Jonathan/Argyle/Chrissy dream team to figure out how to prove to Steve that Tommy is horrible. 

Bonus: Robin and Nancy come up with a full proof multi step plan that involves Eddie pissing off Tommy in ways that look completely innocent. The hope is that Steve will see how controlling and unreasonable Tommy is, and break it off.

This hurts no one and just highlights to Steve Tommy's behavior.

Of course, Eddie goes off the rails immediately upon meeting Steve.

Instead of following The Plan, he, with the kids permission and help, gets Tommy to get blow up about THEM.

This is far more successful.

Bonus x2: A large amount of shenanigan's with the kids vs Tommy are involved. As is a scene were Steve breaks down and admits he knows Tommy is terrible, but Tommy puts up with him and Steve "knows how he is."

Eddie goes home, prints out a picture of Tommy and throws cheap ren fair daggers at it for at least three solid hours while he tries to think up ways to prove to Steve Harrington that his parents are wrong, hes very lovable actually.

In fact Eddie would very much like a shot at trying it out, thanks!

(It is also, inevitably, successful.)

#steddie #modern meet cute #SOMEONE TAKE IT FROM ME I CANT HAVE ANOTHER WIP #also I personally am very picky about fake dating tropes or “stealing” tropes #cause you cant steal a person #but also #the trope is naturally exploitative and thats hard to do right #not to say I havent seen people do it WELL cause I have #just that its a hard one for me personally #anyway #Eddie munson #steve harrington #tommy hagan #stranger things #Eddie is a gremlin whose been on all of two dates and had three hookups but hes never telling the children that #angsty #so desperate for love Ill take any scraps I can get Steve Harrington #is a personal favorite of mine #and not in that whiny way #I mean in a realistic way #homeboy out here knowing that half of what he says is stupid but he believes it anyway and has a lot of issues from his parents #so you have to DRAG this shit out of him #or if youre Robin you dont HAVE too but Steves excellent at dodging #excuse making #and generally making everyone think hes making sane decisions #he is not #eddie clocks this instantly lol

[worlddissolvingintoslime]

like looking in a mirror

#🖍 #wanted 2 illustrate this dialogue very badly cause it made me emotional lol #in stars and time #isat #isat spoilers #<- i suppose #sorry for the longass post but it looks better layed out like this than squished into a grid even if the pages dont rly flow together #could be happier with bits and pieces of this? but it got me out of the worst creative slump of my life #theres about 2859043257 mistakes in this that i just noticed and cant be bothered to go fix ok just dont look too hard #anywasy thank you loop i love you #its wurple cause its a good color and keeping it grayscale would be BORING sorry not actually im just an avid bright color user #yayyy MJY ART #edit i can say wink with the caption too cause i finally played through twohats ok I OFFICIALLY GET IT NOW!!!!!!!!!

[cowboythewizard726]

big fan of the gorgeous beautiful man covered in blood and sweat

#FUCK i NEED to EAT THIS GUY #laios laios laios... #laios touden #laios dungeon meshi #laios dunmeshi #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon spoilers #GET IN MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW #woah #doo you think he la #laiosssss.....save me laios.... save mee....... #ough bnuguhjh #oh my GOD #hes actually; really beautiful #but i aint gay dont dont go around saying im gay alright #hey babe love when ur experiencing the horrors btw its a great look on you #nned to like sink my teeth into the top of his head or his whole cheek and thrash my head back in forth #im not gay #next post may be him being whimper dog man thing hes so buddy #or when he looks determined or when he looks like a cutie pie #me when the character has a range of emotions and expressions #just wow hes so versatile #but hes so pretty like genuinely i love his face #good face of his right there cant wait to sink my teeth into it #laios #laiosss.

[moeblob]

So does he, Gallagher.

#honkai star rail #hsr blade #gallagher #i based this off of how many times i used funny soda man to help be a healer with his poppin soda pop in SU #and then blade constantly just being blade as usual #its normally him saying unnecessary to my actual healer but #i kept forgetting gallagher heals and i kept healing when i didnt even need to so TECHNICALLY yeah it was unnecessary #but the amount of times blade was the recipient...... #i cant use like most of my newer units in story bc i cant ascend or i run out of leveling mats so i just #get them and toss them into simulated universe for funsies cause i can match their levels better #so thats where i tossed gallagher and he is genuinely fun to play as ? like i love his punches and kicks to start the battle #funny soda man is funny (to me) and im really behind in plot still #but last time i tried to play it on my laptop and got a kickass cutscene my laptop lagged and i couldnt even see it RIP to me #so now that its like ... me trying to play it on desktop ? #i mostly get on desktop for comms and if i do much else i feel like im slacking off even if i would take a break anyway #one day i can play more story plot stuff and actually meet the funny guys #also in case you know me for Not Having Boys in HSR i need to point out #i did pull Gallagher however same 10 pull got a 4 star girl copy for someone i never use and she is at e4 now cool #and i didnt even think of the irony as i started this i just like drawing blade and i wanted to draw gallagher #so when i already had the dialogue planned and am drawing i was like OH WAIT haha im funnier than i thought #(no i am not but we can pretend)

[stil-lindigo]

family resemblance.

--

prints

wolf's story (left)

ash's story (right)

#love and war #who says murder cant be a productive mother daughter bonding activity #just kidding #they dont have that sort of relationship #(for any newcomers - wolf is one of ash's mothers. in a sort of conceptual way. theyre not actually genetically related.) #ive missed doing rendered illustrations #comics are my true love but i cant lie. the shading process is therapeutic #also #ash ends up taller being than both her mothers when she grows up #important information #once again thank you for indulging my oc brainrot #i appreciate it #oc art #hearteaters #stillindigo art

[nerdyqueerr]

The Amazing Devil truly knocked it out of the park with Fair in terms of love songs i mean its got everything. Domesticity, deep adoration, confessions of love when youre sure no one else can hear, a that's what she said joke, yogurt, genuinely dont think there's a more romantic song on the face of the earth

#its everything 2 me you dont understand #the 'him' in that song.... hes so me #need to have a word with joey batey and madeleine hyland abt this one fr #god. the thats what she says joke almost reduces me to tears sometimes. #how unreasonably in love i am with everything you do!!!! #i cant even pick more lines from the verses to quote like its all so. waugh. #they werent lying that devil sure can amazing #their constant ability to marry small ridiculpus mundane things with profound metaphorical epic things really shines in Fair. idk #every time i see a bad taylor swift lyric in the next few days ill just listen to some tad to cleanse my soul #my shit #the amazing devil

[formosusiniquis]

When Mike Wheeler, red faced and still faintly tear stained, asks him how he knew he liked both Steve doesn’t know how to tell him it was his sister.

Before Nancy Wheeler it had only been boys. Before Nancy Wheeler Steve had been sure he was gay and knew well enough to keep it to himself; dating around enough to earn himself a protective reputation. Before Nancy Wheeler there’d been Marcus Summers, from the baseball team, during freshman year. Steve had gone to every game, and had been forced to make up excuses about schoolwork and his other commitments when asked why he hadn’t tried out for himself. Before Nancy Wheeler there’d been Tommy Hagan. The summer between seventh and eighth grade had been very kind to Tommy, he was sunkissed and boy next door sweet, Steve had wanted to hold his hand and count the freckles across the bridge of his nose. 

Before Nancy Wheeler there’d been his first love, a boy who only visited one summer, the year Steve turned ten. His name had changed every time they hung out but he’d favored E’s. Eli, Emmett, Elliott, Eric, Excalibur, Excelsior, and once for about an hour Wayne. His hair brushed his chin in pretty brown curls and his big brown eyes were always bright with excitement. He always got storm off mad when any of the other boys they’d played with that summer said he was acting like a girl, E would run off to the woods and Steve would always follow. E always came up with the best games anyway, he didn’t like playing soccer or HORSE or anything else with rules that couldn’t be bent; he preferred imagination games where they were knights or wizards. He didn’t laugh when Steve said he always liked playing house, but never wanted to be the dad because why would he want to be someone who never wanted to spend any time with his kids. E who, while insisting on being called Samwise all day, was his first kiss.

Cause he knows what Mike wants to hear. He’s seen the way Mike and Will have danced around each other since the last portal closed. He’s heard the things Mike has said to and about Will. He’s heard all about the week that Will was in the Upside Down. He’s heard all about the summer of ‘85. He’s heard all about the final off again that seems to officially mark the end of Mike and El romantically. He knows that Mike wants him to say that he’d never even thought about boys before he met Eddie. That there’s just something special about Eddie that makes him want to give up his lady killing ways. That Eddie was different. That it was okay that he was having these scary new thoughts, maybe Will was just an exception.

And Steve doesn’t know how to have that conversation. When he realized he liked both it was a relief, that maybe he could have something normal and wouldn't have to spend his life lying or hiding. 

But Eddie was different. Eddie was special. Eddie was probably it for Steve which is scary in a different way that he’s not ready to touch yet -- not when it’s only been three months.

There’s never been another girl since Nancy Wheeler, not really

There will never be another boy after Eddie Munson.

So he tries to help, as best he can. It’s easier with Eddie there, not quite dozing against his shoulder -- the kid’s emergencies always seem to come so late at night these days. “When I was ten, there was a boy whose name kept changing who decided prince charming should get to kiss his faithful knight. And when I was sixteen, your sister-”

Mike’s goodwill diminishes quickly as his sister gets introduced to the conversation.

“Stevie,” Eddie says. It’s not an admonishment for bringing up Nancy. It’s awestruck and watery. “You remember that?”

“Of course I remember the first boy I ever loved," that word catches up with him a second later. Remember. 

Cause there's Eddie with his riot of brown curls and his Bambi eyes. Eddie, who has explained why soft feminine words chafe against his skin leaving him itchy and anxious. Eddie, who has an Uncle in Hawkins. Eddie who moved to town the summer before he entered high school with a buzzed head and his mother's last name. Eddie who finally settled into an E he liked best.

"Wheeler, here's a tip from me to you," Eddie says, his advice is always better received than Steve's anyway, "if you have to ask you probably already know."

"Straight people don't really spend much time wondering if they aren't really straight," Steve agrees.

They don't rush Mike out the door, a crisis is a crisis and even in the wake of new discoveries Mike deserves to be heard out. Deserves a chance to cry and rage and feel those emotions someplace safe from his Reaganite father -- just as much as Will deserves to have someone who knows what they want come to him, deserves better than experimentation.

They cross the bridge from late into early by the time Mike sets off. The sun is creeping up over the horizon and Mike looks solid, certain; the dawn hints at the man he is growing up to be. Though every instinct of Steve's begs him to drive the kid home, Eddie's soft hand lingering at his hip holds him fast. They wave instead, encouraging Mike to go home and to bed before he does anything; knowing his front bike tire is already pointed toward the Byers-Hopper place.

"The first boy you ever loved, huh, Stevie?" Eddie teases before the door has even managed to click shut.

"And the last, I'm hoping, if I play my cards right."

"You were always pretty good at that. You were the only person that summer who called me by my name, except Wayne."

"It was your name." He knows that's too simple. Knows how hard Eddie has had it, continues to have it. But that summer it had been that simple, Eddie trying on names like shirts each one fitting until they didn't. "For what it's worth, I like Eddie a lot more than Excalibur."

"Oh fuck off, I was going through a fantasy knight phase. Which I know you remember."

"Right a phase, and how much longer is this fantasy 'phase' going to last?"

They're the kind of tired that makes you feel drunk, when Eddie tackles Steve and sends them both to the floor and to giggles. Eddie might not have been his bi awakening, but Steve is pretty fine with him being his everything else.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #trans eddie munson #implied byler #steddie fic #my fic #i do worry that sometimes i come across as a nancy hater #which i cant emphasize enough is not the case #nancy is a complicated character and i love her and she and steve are not good for each other #also eddie trying on wayne because wayne was the first adult he told that he wasnt a girl and who handled it well #wayne at the breakfast table like okay then what is your name if its not [redacted] and eddie does not have an answer yet #so wayne says well just tell me when you get up what youre going by #so he decides while playing that day that its wayne #and that lasts exactly as long as it takes for steve to call him that before hes like nope thats weird #eddie is short for edmund but also short for eddie the head #eddie contains multitudes