#homeboy out here knowing that half of what he says is stupid but he believes it anyway and has a lot of issues from his parents | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bb-tings · 4 years

Text

unspoken magic - drew starkey

magic - gabrielle aplin

(10/10 reccomend ALL HER MUSIC)

so i found this song on spotify while i was looking for a song to write a cute fluffy drew fic to and it gave me such drew vibes bc homeboy doesn’t know how to use any form of social media lol...also the rant is literally me. like my thoughts and actions and beliefs. some of yall 13 year olds really don’t know the meaning of BOUNDARIES.

...anyways enjoy,

-BRI

if you want to join or get taken off the taglist just let me know in my messages or in the comments 😊

taglist: @ampanonyg @ims0golden @jjsmentalpolaroids @stargazingstarkey @letsgofullkook @jjmbanks @maybanksbaby @1-800-jjslut @simpforstarkey @jellyfishbeansontoast

Remember when we snuck out of your birthday, didn't even say goodbye, 'Cause even there in a room full of faces, all I saw was you and I

Everyone was having a blast dancing around, drinking, laughing. It was Drew’s birthday after all. The cast had decided to rent out a club and invite family and friends, including everyone who worked on set, the workers have become more like family than colleagues. There was so much chaos going on and while Y/n was so proud of the cast and herself for pulling the event off for her boyfriend, she couldn’t help but feel a little antisocial. She was a social butterfly, but everyone knew that after days of being the life of the party and extroverted, she needed time alone and started to shut down, wanting to be alone. Y/n was so excited for the party but when it came time for her to get dressed up and drunk with her friends, she found herself sitting alone on a couch booth while sipping wine, not really seeing the fun in getting wasted and stupid drunk.

Y/n watched as Drew and Rudy drunkenly danced back to back, screaming out the words to OMG by Usher, she laughed as he made eye contact with the young girl and pointed to her, wiggling his finger for her to join him. She held her glass up and tried giving him a believable smile, but the older boy knew better, so he made his way over to her.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Drew slid his way next to his girlfriend and used the towel on the table to wipe the sweat off of his face. “Did somebody upset you?”

“Nothing bubba, I’m fine.”

Y/n looked up from her short-lived attempt at avoiding Drew’s eyes to him already looking at her. She watched as his hand moved toward her hair as he pushed a fallen piece behind her ear. He looked around her face and finally met her eyes, not believing her. “I’m fine, Drew. I promise.”

Drew sat back away from her as he let out a loud sigh. “Why do you do that? Why do you lie to my face and tell me that you’re ok like I’m going to buy it? Why can’t you just tell me the truth?”

“Drew, I really don’t wanna do this right now,” the young girl pleaded. “It’s your birthday, can’t we just have a good time and not worry about me right now?” To that Drew looked at his other half like she had grown another half.

“Ok, first of all, this,” He moved his finger quickly in the small space between them. “This Is not a fight. This is me being upset because my girlfriend won’t let me worry about her. I guess she doesn’t know how relationships work.” Drew teased the girl with a small smile on his face. “And second, we both know that I can’t have a good time if you’re sitting over here all sad and mopey.”

It's all the words you never say, the way I catch you watchin' me, I know that you love me, i know you can feel the magic, we don't need to talk about

After a little back and forth, the young boy had finally gotten the girl to spill the truth about needing some alone time and was now trying to sneak them out of his own birthday party. As the pair rode home, Y/n couldn’t help but look at Drew as he stared ahead. She watched as his changing blue eyes flickered between the path in front of him and the many cars behind him, also driving in the early hours of the morning.

Though there were many signs, lights, and flashes that caught her mind’s attention, basically begging her eyes to look, she couldn’t help but only see Drew. This was her favorite kind of Drew. When he is totally unbothered. He was doing something so simple, something that he had been doing since he turned 15, now 27 it only seems right that he should be used to it. However, Y/n couldn’t help to notice how he put all his effort into it, eyes never once leaving the road, she liked to believe that it was his way of self consciously protecting her. And even though she thought she was going unnoticed, the young girl wasn’t the only one admiring from not so far. Drew was watching her too but through his peripheral. He loved that she was enchanted by everything he did. He liked knowing that he wasn’t the only one completely and hopelessly in love.

No, we don't feel the need for colorful displays, 'cause it's not the kind of game we play, and why should we show the world how we feel, when it's not about them anyway

Everyone was over at Madelyn’s apartment chilling and hanging out with one another. The blonde was stationed on the floor in between the couch and the coffee table, with a live Instagram leaning on a few books. Y/n was sitting directly behind the girl, turned to the side with her legs pulled up to her chest. She had let Maddie use her phone, the 22-year-old being too lazy to walk to her room and get hers, so now she was just watching as Madelyn socialized with the fans.

“Ow, shit.”

Y/n turned her head to see Drew sitting on the edge of the couch next to her holding his foot with a worried stare. The younger girl let out a small snort. “Did you hit your toe bub?”

Drew let out a whiny noise and Maddie proceeded to also let out a laugh, then reusing one of her famous lines, “Never heard anyone whine like that before.” Y/n gently pushed the girl’s shoulder, teasingly telling her to leave the big baby alone. She then returned her vision to the raging comment section. Her once big smile quickly fading to a frown.

I think its a PR stunt bc they don’t even act like a couple

Drew deserves someone who actually loves him...LIKE ME!

gUys she called him bUb! THATS SO CUTE (emoji)

Nah thats def apr stunt, more obvious than shawn and camila

I don’t eleven think i’ve seen them hold hands

Madelyn and Y/n simultaneously rolled their eyes, the blonde looking up at her best friend gave her a look that spoke “you gonna tell em or me.”

Y/n slid down from the couch and joined her friend on the floor, getting right in front of the camera. She looked up at her loving boyfriend who was on his phone also looking at the comments on the live. He glanced down towards Y/n and gave her a small smile, telling her to go for it. It wasn’t the first time they had seen comments like this and he knew it wouldn’t be the last but he also knew that she had been dying to rant about it.

“Alright, I’m gonna go ahead and say this one thing, and then I’m probably going to take some time off this app.” The young actress slowly took a deep breath and then began her rant. “ Alright, first of all, my relationship with ANYONE, is between me and that person. Just because I have friends, boyfriends or family, does not mean that I have to post them on this account. I understand that it’s hard to believe that 2 people can be happy and healthy unless they showcase it to the rest of the world, but it is in fact very possible. So for everyone who is questioning, my relationship,” the girl then grabbed Drew’s hand, pulling him down to her side of the couch until he was laying on his side behind her head. “This is Drew. My boyfriend. It’s not a publicity stunt, it’s not to get the show more popular, it’s real. Outer Banks is already the number one show on Netflix, so I don’t really think there would be a point to put 2 people in a fake relationship. And another thing, I don’t even have a fucking publicist, so I don’t really know where that came from.”

The young girl turned her head to meet Drew’s blue eyes, he looked at her with such satisfaction and amazement. He was proud of his younger girlfriend. For years Drew thought that he would never find someone who was anti-social media like him. He thought that he was just going to have to bare his relationships getting exploited all over the world. Drew was happy that he never had to worry about that with Y/n.

“I completely understand why it’s confusing and how you can question our relationship. But that doesn’t mean you can drag our relationship, and me particularly, down. You have no right to say the things you do about me, just because you think that the small, tiny, look into our lives means that I don’t love and care about Drew. Like, no offense, but that’s fucking insane. I’m tired of getting private messages about my weight, my clothes, my hair, my AGE. Don’t even get me started on the age difference. Half of the fan accounts on this app are run by 13-year-olds saying very inappropriate things about a 27-year-old grown-ass man. Like yall understand that’s illegal right. Like, get it through your head that those are fantasies and no matter HOW MANY TIMES you drag ME down, they will NEVER come true. My age isn’t anyone’s business, I’m over 18 so get over it.” Y/n then let out a loud sigh. “I need a damn drink.”

To this Drew laughed and kissed her on the cheek, while the other cast members started to whoop and holler while applauding the young girl’s words. They too were proud other, they knew of the struggles that she went through and they knew that most of the time she kept those feelings balled up. Madelyn then grabbed the phone and said her goodbyes to the live, then ending it.

The blonde then wrapped her arms around her best friend. “I’m so proud of you, babe. That was so badass.” Madison saw the interaction from across the room and ran over to join them, adding herself to the hug.

“It was great, sissy. You really told them who’s boss.” That last comment made Y/n laugh out loud. She was so happy to have a supporting friend and cast group that made her feel loved. She couldn’t have asked for better friends.

“It was pretty hot too,” Drew smirked and pulled the young girl away from the group hug and grabbed her face, and gave her a long passionate kiss, something he rarely did in front of others. “I’m proud of you bubba.”

She couldn’t have asked for better friends.

Or a better boyfriend.

Don't need to see it to believe it, no need to wake me up, 'cause I'm not dreamin'

The couple was laying in their bed just enjoying each other’s presence. Limbs all spread around but managing to stay intertwined. Sunlight was seeping into the white-painted room, brightening everything up, including the pair’s mood. Drew was leaning against the headboard very lazily, running his hands through Y/n’s hair, who was sitting in his lap, thighs down beside his knees, with her head on his chest. Drew had woken up early and tried to get the younger girl out of bed, but she refused to do so. So he decided that he would just deal with it and let her drift back off to sleep, but with a twist.

It humored the young actor that people thought they weren’t a cuddly and touchy couple. They were absolutely a touchy couple, they just didn’t enjoy being touchy in front of others, some people not being into that and they didn’t want to make anyone feel awkward. It was more a Drew thing. He was the one who suggested they not have a lot of PDA, and while Y/n was all for PDA, she would do anything for Drew to make him happy. At the beginning of their relationship, Y/n was insecure about Drew’s real feelings because he didn’t show much love through touch, but she eventually mentioned it to him. Ever since then he always made it a point to show more affection the second they were alone. Hints their situation now.

Drew watched as Y/n started to stir in her sleep. She started to whine and Drew felt her chest start to move a little faster. She was having another nightmare.

“Shhh, shhh. You’re ok, it’s ok,” the young man started to rub her back and hold her a little tighter. He wanted the nightmare to stop but he didn’t want to ruin her sleep. “It’s just a dream. You’re ok, bubba.” Drew closed his eyes and gave a small smile when he felt her calm down, turn her head the other direction and hold onto him a little tighter. Despite what the young girl believed, Drew loved the affection that she gave him. Being the oldest of 3 kids, the boy felt like he had to grow up fast and while he knew his parents loved them all equally, he got less of the affection. He had to grow up and become a little man, help his mom prepare dinner, he and logan had to help take care of Brooke and Mackayla. He just thought that he wasn’t a fan to touch, but when it came to Y/n’s touch he couldn’t get enough of it.

Drew closed his eyes and relaxed his body, trying to drift off to sleep himself. He knew he wasn’t dreaming yet, but he never wanted to leave this dream state with her. Getting to love someone like her, was something Drew never even dreamed of but now he was thankful for that. Because no dream could have lived up to the life that he gets to live with the girl that he loves.

#drewstarkey #drew starkey imagine #outer banks imagine #outer banks fluff #outerbanks cast #obxstuff #obx requests #please send requests #i take requests #in my ask box #this song was writen for drew #change my mind #i'll wait

129 notes · View notes

morrisondauthor · 5 years

Text

“A Righteous Burden”

The date July 22, 2009 is a date that I will never forget. It was a cloudy Wednesday afternoon and while I wasn’t necessarily looking forward to Pastor Ballard’s Bible study, I was excited about choir rehearsal because our choir director Mr. Hankinson had agreed to play a song that I composed myself. I’d been trying to get him to use one of my compositions since I began writing music. I wasn’t much of a gospel lyricist so Mr. Hankinson wrote words for the music, and they were amazing. I couldn’t wait to sing the song with the choir for the first time and I really couldn’t wait to sing it for the church that following Sunday. However, it wasn’t my music that made July 22, 2009 memorable. It turned out to be the day I experienced a miracle.

“You’re not gonna change my mind,” Kareem said to me while putting on his Jordans. “I’m done with school, Ant.”

“Why now?” I asked while looking at myself in the mirror to make sure my tie was on right. “Baby, why would you drop out of school right before our senior year?”

“Because it’s pointless. I’m not goin’ to college or doin’ anything important so I don’t see why I should waste my time.”

“So, being at school with me is a waste of your time?”

“That ain’t what I meant and you know it. Anthony, I’m just done with that shit. I’m done with it. I’m a grown ass man. Fuck…I mean, forget school. I got other stuff I need to be worried about.”

Kareem Taylor had been my boyfriend for a little over a year but we’d known each other since elementary school. He was my best friend up until sixth grade, which was when he began picking on me and hanging out with the bad boys at school. I later figured out he picked on me because he liked me and even though I liked him, too, neither of us built up the nerve to do anything about it until the end of our tenth-grade year. I wrote him a letter basically telling him that I wanted us to be boyfriends. He came to my house after school that day and gave me my first kiss. And just like that, we were together.

“You mean like running the streets with Taz and your other wannabe gangster friends?” I asked him. “Is that the other stuff, Kareem?” When he looked away from me and shook his head, I reminded him, “None of your homeboys had your back when you got arrested last October. I had to beg my mama to bail you out.”

Me (Anthony Tibbs)

“You’re just gonna keep hittin’ me with that, huh?”

“Yes, I am!”

“Why are you yellin’ at me? I didn’t raise my voice at you so why are you doin’ it to me?”

“Because I’m tired of you making the wrong decisions! It’s like I don’t even matter to you sometimes.”

“Okay, you’re trippin’. When have I ever treated you like you don’t matter? You’re the one yellin’ at me and shit. We were just all cuddled up and kissin’ a lil’ while ago and now you’re sweatin’ me. Is this because we keep our thing on the low or somethin’?”

“That has nothing to do with what I’m upset about. I’m upset because you would rather drop out of school and play wannabe gangster than finish your education and rise above that mess. After what happened to Ahmad…”

“I’m not tryin’ to have this conversation right now.” He picked his cell phone up from my nightstand and put it in his pocket.

I stood in my doorway to block him and said, “Kareem, if you love me then you’ll sit down and listen to what I have to say.”

He stared at me for a while without saying anything and then let out a loud exhale before sitting down on my bed and saying, “I love you so I guess I don’t have a choice.”

Kareem Taylor

I sat down beside him and continued, “After Ahmad’s death, I feel like I lost a part of you. We could be watching TV together or eating or cuddling and sometimes it feels like I’m only with half of you. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose a sibling because I’m an only child and I don’t want to make you upset, but I wish you would talk to me about what you’re feeling.”

Kareem’s older brother Ahmad was murdered after he tried to stop some gang members from killing his best friend. The incident happened just two blocks away from my house and I was the person who broke the news to Kareem that night. We’d only been in our relationship for about a month when it happened. It was the first time I’d ever seen Kareem cry and I felt his pain the moment he felt it. I was there for him and I did my best to help him get through it but I knew my best wasn’t good enough. Ahmad took care of Kareem because their mother had a drug addiction and wasn’t home consistently. I always felt that Kareem lost himself when he lost his brother and it broke my heart.

“What do you want me to say?” he asked me after a lengthy silence. “I miss my brother every second that goes by. I don’t like bringin’ him up because I don’t wanna bring you down.”

“It won’t bring me down, Kareem.” I grabbed his hand before asking, “Do you ever cry when you’re not with me?”

He got a little choked up as he answered, “Sometimes. The worst moments are when I hear his voice in my head and I’ll forget for just a moment that he’s gone. I cried so much that I threw up the last time that happened.”

Tears began to build in my eyes as I squeezed on his hand and told him, “I’m so sorry, baby.”

“It’s like I understand that he’s gone forever but I still expect him to come home for some reason. I feel like he’s still out there.” A tear forced its way down the left side of his face as he continued, “It wasn’t his time. I can’t see it any other way. He stayed out of trouble. He went to school and got his license to be a barber. You can’t convince me that it was his time to go.”

I managed to keep myself together as I put my arm around him and told him, “I pray for Ahmad every time I think about him. And I pray for you, baby.”

“I know you believe in that but…it doesn’t do anything for me. It won’t bring him back. I’m not sayin’ that to put down your beliefs. It’s how I feel.”

“I know. But baby, you have to understand that life goes on. That’s why I pray for Ahmad.”

He looked at me and said, “I don’t know what you mean.”

“When we die, I believe our existence lives on in everything we ever saw, experienced, touched and loved. Your brother may not be here physically but he does still exist because you knew him your whole life and you’re here. You’re a direct witness to his existence and so am I. His friends knew him and they’re here. All of the people who knew him through the barbershop are still here. He has crossed over and I pray for him because it’s my way of letting him know I witnessed him while he was here physically and that I continue to witness his existence through you. Baby, I pray that he is at peace.”

“I appreciate that but I don’t see it that way. The way I see it is three Lafayette Street niggas killed my brother and his best friend over some bullshit and today is the beginning.”

“The beginning of what?”

He wiped his eyes and replied, “Don’t even worry about it.”

“Kareem, I know you’re not thinking about joining a gang, are you? Your brother wouldn’t want that. He was against violence and drug dealing!”

“I ain’t him and I never will be.”

“You can’t do this.”

“I don’t have much of a choice. Nobody wants to speak up and tell the cops who did it. You said all those people who got their haircuts from my brother witnessed him, right? Well, I bet some of them know who killed him and they ain’t sayin’ shit.”

“Kareem…”

“No, Anthony. I’m doin’ this. Taz is already in OBF and so are a lot of the other niggas we’ve been hangin’ around. After I get jumped in today, I’ll be OBF, too.”

“And what about us? Huh? Do you think I’m gonna be with you if you’re out robbing and killing people?”

More tears filled his eyes and rolled down his face as he asked me calmly, “You’re gonna dump me?”

“If you let those boys jump you and you call yourself a member of that gang, yes, I will be done with you.”

“You just said you pray for me.”

“I do and I always will but I don’t have to be with you to pray for your soul. I mean it, Kareem. I love you but I will not tolerate you being in a gang. Now, I am going to church for Bible study and choir rehearsal. First Lady Mary Louise Ballard will be serving dinner at seven-thirty. If you love me and you want to be with me, you’ll be at the church tonight for that dinner. If you’re not there…then I guess this will be last time I ever talk to you.”

He continued to stare at me for a while and after wiping his tears away, he stood up and tried to hug me but I wouldn’t hug him. He quickly kissed two of his fingers and gently put them to my lips and then left my bedroom. I waited until I heard the front door to my house open and close before I allowed myself to cry. It took me a little while to pull myself back together but I did pull myself back together and I made it to Bible study on time. However, my mood was ruined by the time choir rehearsal began. All I could think about was Kareem. I just knew Mr. Hankinson was going to notice how off I was.

“Anthony Tibbs,” he called out as he stopped playing the piano. “Are you purposely singing flat? Because if so, I’m going to need you to not do that.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” I said.

“This is your music, young man. You better sing to it the right way.” He looked at his watch and then told us, “It’s time for a break.”

I stepped down from the choir platform and made my way over to him and asked quietly, “Can I ask you something personal, Mr. Hankinson?”

“You know you can, child. You’re the only person who can talk to me about personal stuff.”

“When you and Mr. Leverett have arguments, how do you work it out?”

His eyes widened and a smile formed on his face as he asked me, “You and that boy had an argument? Aw, that’s so cute.”

“It’s anything but cute.”

“Child, all you can do is pray and hope that the Lord will pave a way. A lot of the hypocritical folk that attend this church will tell you that you shouldn’t have a boyfriend in the first place.” He laughed a little but got serious and asked me, “What did you argue about?”

“He wants to do something very stupid and dangerous and I told him if he does it then we’re over. I shouldn’t have told him that, huh?”

“No, you did the right thing. Anthony, you are young. You still have a year of high school left. You’re smart and you can sing your behind off. I’m not gonna tell you that you’re too young to be in love because that would be bad advice. But I can tell you that if he’s the one then he’ll realize he’s the one and he won’t do that stupid and dangerous thing you argued with him about.” He gave me a look and then asked, “Have you and him been…you know…active?”

I blushed and told him, “We have and we’re safe.”

“Good. Because I did not want to have to give you the talk after we leave here.”

“So, you’re not going to lecture me anyway?”

“Nope. As long as you respect yourself and he respects you, then I’m good. Just make sure you pray to the Lord for forgiveness.”

“Wow, I would’ve thought you’d be the last person to say something like that.”

“Not because you’re gay, child. Ask for forgiveness for having premarital sex. Don’t think just because it’s not legalized yet for our kind that it’s not a sin. Besides, it’s gonna be legal everywhere soon enough if Obama gets a second term.”

I laughed and said, “Thank you, Mr. Hankinson.”

“Mmm hmm, child. Now go ahead and work on that voice so we can get this rehearsal together.”

“Yes, sir.”

I loved that I could talk to Mr. Hankinson about being gay. Just like many other black churches in America, most attendees ignored the fact that their church had a gay choir director. Besides my mama and my grandma, Mr. Hankinson was the only person who knew about my relationship with Kareem. I learned a lot from him and his partner, Mr. Leverett. I was never ashamed of being gay but I was a little worried about how Christians viewed homosexuality until I had discussions with Mr. Hankinson and Mr. Leverett. They helped me understand the importance of following the actual teachings of Jesus and that no man’s word or judgment would ever overpower the word and judgment of God.

While I was still worried about Kareem, I let what Mr. Hankinson said to me that day comfort me. I sang my song with the choir and then we rehearsed a few more songs before calling it a night and heading to the church’s reception hall to eat dinner. I made my plate and while pouring some sweet tea into one of the cups filled with ice on the table, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and when I saw it was a text message from Kareem, I took a moment to take in a deep breath and then exhaled. I opened the text and when I saw he wanted me to come outside, I ran out of there as fast as I could. And there he was standing at the bottom of the church steps. Judging by the fact that he didn’t have any bruises and was wearing the same clothes he’d had on at my house, I knew he hadn’t joined the gang.

“I met up with Taz,” he said as he looked up the steps at me. “I started walkin’ with him towards the spot and…I saw this boy and his little brother over in the park. The little brother had scraped his knee and the big brother gave him a hug to keep him from cryin’. He didn’t tell him to toughen up and he didn’t yell at him. He gave him a hug. I swear it was like I was lookin’ at me and Ahmad. I just…” He got choked up but managed to continue, “I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t do it, baby.”

“See, I told you, baby,” I said as I descended the steps. “Ahmad is still with you. He always will be.” I made it to him down on the sidewalk and hugged him. After a while, I pulled back and told him, “I love you, Kareem.”

“I love you, too. Thank you, baby. I thought about everything you said to me earlier and you’re right. I can’t let my brother down because he never let me down. He wanted me to do somethin’ with my life like he was tryin’ to do, so I gotta do better. But baby, there’s somethin’ I still need to know.”

“What is it?”

He got choked up again as tears filled his eyes. He cleared his throat and then asked, “Are you gonna be here for me when I need you?”

“Kareem, no matter what happens between us, I will always be here for you. I promise.” I hugged him again. After I wiped his tears away, I asked him, “Are you hungry?”

He smiled and replied, “I’m very hungry.”

“Well, let’s go inside so we can fix that. The First Lady cooked some chicken and rice and gravy…” I began walking back up the steps and he followed me.

Looking back, that day truly was the turning point in our relationship. We were already close but we became closer that day. When that summer ended, we started our final year of high school. I talked him into talking to one of the counselors at the local free clinic and she was able to help him better deal with the trauma of losing his only brother to violence. He attended my church every Sunday and even sometimes on Bible study Wednesday. The more time we spent together each day, the more people caught on that we were more than friends. He lost a lot of his friends but he gained more by befriending the many people I was connected to. We graduated and moved down to Atlanta where I attended Georgia State University and he attended Atlanta Technical College while also working part-time in construction.

It’s been ten years since that day and he and I have been married since 2015. We have a small but beautiful home in a decent Decatur neighborhood and even though I’m still paying on my student loan debt, we’re doing great financially. I’m an accountant for several small businesses, including Kareem’s growing construction business. He currently has twenty-five employees—twelve who are ex-convicts who needed employment—working for him. We have plans to one day buy a bigger house and adopt a kid or two but for now, we’re still enjoying each other like we did when we were teens.

I wake up every morning thanking God for blessing me with the love of my life. And every day, no matter how hectic that day may be, I say a prayer for my husband and for his brother. Ahmad didn’t get to see how his love saved his little brother, but I let him know through my prayers that it wasn’t his burden anymore to look out for Kareem. He could rest easy knowing that the time he did spend on this earth was just enough for him to do what he was put here to do: take care of his baby brother and show him the power of unconditional love.

[Disclaimer]: Pictures used do not reflect the sexuality or personality of people in the pictures. They only serve as visual examples of the characters.

#D.A. Morrison #short story #drama #love #highschool #teens #religion #faith #belief #witness #death #grief #black lgbt #lgbt fiction #fiction

989 notes · View notes

globgor-of-mewnie · 5 years

Text

Since When Has Our Relationship Ever Been Easy?

At last. After three and a half years, it’s time to crack my knuckles and write fanfiction again. I’m honestly very shocked by the lack of fanfiction revolving around Eclipsa’s family. Globgor doesn’t even have a character filter on fanfiction.net! Like, WHAT?!

Very well. Then I shall take matters into my hands.

I’ll warn you now, this story isn’t going to be very plot-heavy. Oh, there’s an overall plot, but it’s more about living out the daily lives of Globgor and Eclipsa up until the point of their imprisonment. I’m going to use all the tiny glimpses of info given to us about their past and do what I can to create an accurate timeline for them. Each chapter will be divided based on their current ages. If I get a new filler idea for some point in their lives, I’ll create bonus chapters to add on. Okay, I think I covered everything, so read on and enjoy!

Oh, and in case anyone is wondering, this story will be canon for my muse Globgor, as I’m writing what I honestly believed plausible for his character!

Prologue CH1

Prologue

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away lived a beautiful princess. She was young, only seven, but very intelligent for her age. She was the kind of girl who always asked ‘why’ and would gladly face any danger just to feed her curiosity. She was a bit selfish, but not in a mean way. It wasn’t that she didn’t care about other people. She just found her own feelings to be important too and often felt like she was the only one who thought so too. It wasn’t fair that she was always so lonely and bored staying in the Butterfly Castle all day! Why did everyone have to fight all the time? It would be much more fun if everyone just played together instead. This princess’ name was Eclipsa.

Now, far away from Butterfly Castle lived a young monster, only eight. He was a boy of no origin. That is, no one knew where he came from Not even him. He just showed up one day, a hungry toddler digging in the trash. When it became apparent that the monster child was a Size-Shifter, a rare and deadly breed of monster, the locals took turns taking care of the child. Eventually the boy performed odd jobs in order to earn himself some food and a place to sleep. Times were rough for monsters. No one was too young to offer a helping hand. Not that this bothered him. He liked making himself useful. This monster child’s name was Globgor.

Eclipsa and Globgor. Two children who came from races that despised each other. Although they currently didn’t know each other, the day would come when they would fall madly in love with each other. They’d give up everything to be with one another and become the most infamous villains in all of Mewni. Their actions would cause them to be loathed and feared for many centuries to come.

This is their story, and it’s time to tell it.

~~~

“Yo, this brochure is the bomb!”

“There’s only one act though…”

“Yeah, but it’s only the best act of the kingdom!”

“Yeah, show some respect, man! Oh wait, ssh! Here we go!”

The boy quieted down as their leader stepped out from behind the makeshift curtains that had been put on display for them. It was their homeboy, Prince Jushtin. He carried his usual air of confidence as he held a microphone up to his mouth.

“Yo, yo, how ya’ll doing tonight? You doing good?”

“Yeah!”

“You bet!”

“Eh, could’ve used some snacks….”

The other Boy-Prince Cru looked at old man Whizzbag with disdain. Pea-Pea had to nudge him in order to help him get realize how stupid and thoughtless he was being. The man was hip, but he was always spouting utter nonsense.

Jushtin didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he did a little turn and gestured with grandeur towards the curtains. “Yeah, yeah, I thought so! So allow me to be the one to introduce you to the one, the only, the princess Eclipsa!”

The Cru burst into applause as a small child with curly head of dark green hair stepped out onto the makeshift stage. She giggled as she showed off the large hat, long boa, and sequins blouse and skirt. She walked just like her uncle instructed her, holding her arms out so she didn’t trip.

“Eclipsa is wearing a fabulous outfit put together by her favorite uncle!” Jushtin walked alongside his niece as he continued his narration. “Now, this isn’t a look that can work with just any young lady! No, for most it would be trying too hard. However, due to the princess’ pale skin and uniquely colored hair, the extravagance helps bring out her facial features, most notably those precious spades on her cheeks!”

“Ooooooooh!” The cru leaned forward, watching in awe of the seven-year-old’s modeling skills.

Jushtin snapped his fingers and waved his hips side to side. “That’s right, Clippy! Strut your stuff! Bring your style to life! Unce, unce, unce, unce!”

“You’re so beautiful, princess!” Sazmo sounded breathless as he held out a hand to the little model. When she gave him a high-five, he grabbed he fell back and let his bros catch him. “She touched me! I got the angel’s touch! I’m never washing this hand again!”

Eclipsa continued to giggle and blush at all the attention she was getting. She was about to turn around to get dressed in her next outfit when she looked down and noticed something was amiss. “Oh no! Uncle Jushtin! I got it wrong! My shirt is on backwards!”

Jushtin took a quick glance at her before smirking at his friends. “You heard the little lady, boys! Backwards shirts are the new in! Follow the lead if you want to stay up with the times!”

Eclipsa watched in amazement before bursting into a fit of laughter as all the boys proceeded to turn their shirts backwards.

The group went silent as the doors to the castle suddenly burst open. In walked several members of the Mewman army being lead by an irate Solaria. A growl could be heard before she even had a chance to throw down her helmet. She swore and shook her head, even as several members of the castle staff appeared before her.

“Mommy’s home!” Eclipsa quickly ran in the direction of her mother, followed closely by her uncle.

“Your majesty, did you manage to disband the monster soldiers from our outpost?” someone pleaded while trying to stay out of the queen’s way.

“Of course we did! But at what cost? We lost too many of our men!” Solaria ran a hand over her face as she continued to move forward, seemingly unaware of the small girl running at her heels.

“Mommy! Mommy, Uncle Jushtin and I are having a fashion show! Come and see!”

“We need to be find a way to lower their numbers before they reach the battlefield!” Solaria reached for some documents passed on to her by one of the court members. She gave it a read over while she continued. “Where do these beasts keep coming from? I swear, they’re breeding just to spite us!”

Eclipsa wasn’t discouraged. “Mommy! Mommy, come see!”

“How do they keep finding our outposts? Is someone giving them intel? Oh wait, it’s those Avarians, isn’t it? They’ve been flying around and spying on us! I knew we should have stationed the Ponyheads on air patrol! But no! They’re just too good for that!”

“Mommy, look at what I’m wearing! Come see! Come-“ Eclipsa stopped her insistent pleading once Jushtin placed a jeweled hand on her shoulder. He smiled at her in an apologetic way.

“Clippy, I think your mom is busy right now.” he whispered. He started to guide her back over to his Cru. “Let’s continue the show and maybe she can meet up with us later, m’kay?”

Eclipsa’s smiled faded. She looked at the floor dejectedly. She wouldn’t cry. She knew her mother had the most important job in all of Mewni, but she was getting busier every day. She never got to see her anymore. Of course she was grateful to have her Uncle Jushtin to play with, but she missed the days she had the majority of her mother’s time.

She wished the monsters would just leave them alone. They always kept her mom so busy. And so angry.

“Your majesty, should we call up a meeting with the High Commission so you can share what you saw?”

“I will in a couple of hours.” Solaria finally stopped her tirade in order to turn around and look at her retreating family with a smile. “In case you didn’t hear, I’ve received a personal invitation to a fashion show.”

Eclipsa instantly spun around with a happy gasp. She charged forward and leapt into her mother’s outstretched arms. The queen chuckled at her daughter’s delight before looking up at her brother.

“Why’s your shirt on backwards?”

Jushtin simply clicked his tongue and gave her a piteous look. “You haven’t heard that the backwards shirt is what’s in right now? You make me sad, little sister. You make me sad.”

~~~

Far from the Butterfly Castle stood a tavern filled with a variety of different monsters. Its popularity helped make it into a large, but still rather beat-up looking place. The latter was due to the fact that this is where monster army came to either boast of their victories or rage at their losses. Whatever the case was, the patrons always hung on their every word. Those who fought for monster kind were considered heroes, even if they didn’t always come home with good news.

Today had turned out to be one of those days.

“I swear, the next time I see that pompous queen, I’m going to scratch out those annoying cheek marks of hers!”

“Oh, then why didn’t you do that today, Rex?”

“What? Are you saying it was my fault?”

“You always do this! Everytime you come home empty, you brag about-“

“You act as if you did much better!”

“Guys, guys, we did manage to take out a lot of her soldiers-“

“Oh, putting a happy face on things? Yeah! Tell that to the families going to sleep hungry tonight!”

“Oh enough already!” an Slime Man soldier sighed while pouring himself a drink. He turned to the other residents with an apologetic smile. “I’m truly sorry to all of you. This whining isn’t what you want to hear. You all deserve to hear our words of grandeur and promise. Take hope. What I take from this battle is that we posed as a threat to the wicked queen. We struck fear into her heart! I can feel it!”

“Slime, stop talking. Please. They don’t want to be coddled. They want the facts!” A Frog Man grumbled. He looked down at his empty tankard and snarled. “Where the heck is the brat? OIE! GLOBGOR!!”

An eight-year-old boy with scraggly light pink hair and a green tunic jumped nearby. He had been so enraptured by the story of the soldiers that he had forgotten he was supposed to be working. He quickly grabbed the pitcher and refilled the Frog Man’s drink. “Sorry about that! Won’t happen again!”

“Hey, can we get some goat-pig over here? We’re starving!” a Septarian called.

Globgor took a pencil from behind his pointy ear and jotted down in a little notepad. “Of course! Right away!”

“And while you’re at it, my armor needs to be washed,” another monster said, tossing said object over to the boy.

“Yeah, mine too!”

“Same here!”

“Actually a wash sounds pretty great!”

Pretty soon, a pile of chest plates were poured on top of the young monster. Somehow a small hand managed to pop out of the top and give a thumbs-up. “I’m on it! I’ll get these right back to all of you!” his muffled voice called.

Globgor was met with a piteous chuckle as he finally managed to pull himself out of the heavy armor. He was met with the amused eyes of Gooblah, the only other Size-Shifter in Mewni. He was a much darker red than Globgor was, donned many battle scars, and had a long wisp of white hair as well as a beard. At the moment, he was sitting at a table, trying not to laugh at plight of his only brethren.

“Aw, what’s so funny?” Globgor didn’t enjoy being laughed at. It meant that the person doing it didn’t take him seriously. He attempted to save face by striding over to the bar to fetch his cleaning gear by keeping his nose up in the air.

“Those boys could use you as a personal hanky, and you would thank them for it,” old man Gooblah chuckled.

“And why shouldn’t I? They’re out there fighting for our lives against the evil Mewmans! The least I can do is offer my services to them when they get back!” Globgor kneeled down and began scrubbing the blood and grime off the armor.

“It’s admirable that you respect them, but that doesn’t mean they need to treat you so rudely.”

“They’re just blowing off steam. Plus they want to toughen me up! Everyone’s expecting me to join when I get older!”

“Right. Because we’re Size-Shifters. A rare and deadly breed of monsters.” A sullen look appeared on the monster’s face as he stared into his drink. He didn’t seem to hold the title with much pride.

Globgor looked at him. “I hear you used to say that with vigor. Why are you such a coward now?”

Gooblah smirked. “It’s cowardly to not want to fight anymore? To find it all pointless?”

“You’re letting everyone down. We were unstoppable when you were going around eating Mewmans. These men wouldn’t be disappointed right now if you would just kill the queen!”

“You weren’t even born yet, how would you know?” the older man sighed as he looked over at the young, loud soldiers. “I’m sorry I’m the only other Size-Shifter and yet such a disappointment. I know you want a big, scary monster to look up to. I just…..I had an epiphany, you know? This war, what we’re carrying on with….there’s no winning it. Not with how we’re doing it. We hit them, they hit back harder, and then we hit harder, and eventually we all just wind up setting ourselves on fire.”

Globgor finally stood up. “It won’t have to be that way once we dominate the Mewmans and make them our slaves!”

A frown appeared on the other’s face. “But now what would that make us? I thought we were fighting for fair treatment. That doesn’t sound very fair.”

“The Mewmans will never treat us fairly! It’s bad enough that you won’t fight, but now why are you taking their side?”

“I’m not. I just want there to be peace. I’ve seen too many of my friends die from everyone’s stubbornness and pride. There has to be another way. Somehow.” Gooblah turned back to his drink, seeming to prefer seeing his own reflection rather than the incredulous look on the younger boy’s face. “Anyhow…..have you found a bed for tonight?”

Globgor grumbled and looked away. “No. Today’s work was for food. You think if I harvest your crops tomorrow, you could let me sleep in your house tonight?”

Gooblah chuckled and gave a small smile. “Sounds like a deal.” He still didn’t look up from his drink.

Before Globgor could speak to him further, he got another call from the soldiers, one of them complaining that his chair was uneven. He gave his elder a grateful nod before heading off to tend to the needs of the customers.

Gooblah watched the boy, a somber look on his face. Globgor….he really was a good kid. But growing up alone in the middle of a war was filling his heart with anger and hatred. He didn’t want to bring peace to Mewni. He wanted to see Mewmans either die or serve monsters. If he was this ruthless as child, what would he become once he reached adulthood? Any semblance of love would be removed, leaving only a bloodthirsty tyrant. Stump help the Mewmans when the boy learned how to increase in size.

It didn’t look like things would be getting better in the future. And for that, his old heart truly went out to his fellow Size-Shifter. If times were different, maybe Globgor would’ve grown up to be a noble, valiant monster. But with the way things were now, he had no doubt though that the boy would grow up to become an unintentional villain.

#Prologue #Mun writes #fanfiction #Globgor #Eclipsa #svtfoe jushtin #Boy Prince Cru #Queen Solaria #SWHOREBE

43 notes · View notes

talkingismylifewrites · 5 years

Note

That’s so funny, because I just re-read all the ot4 stuff today!! Does the public ever catch wind of their relationship, how does it affect them? Do the kids face any backlash at school? Btw, I love GOOD DAD Roger Taylor

okay so, ot4 is actually kinda...chill about it?

because they’re like if it happens, it happens if the world finds out GREAT

but here’s the thing: people are stupid

they get a lot of questions like, are roger and veronica having an affair??? is john sneaking around behind roger’s back with dominique? are they their beards????

but no one puts two and two together to get four (literally)

like the kids only change their name to deacon-taylor when they each turn 18 and as far as the british press believe they are like, just a wholesome family raising their children together

like two families who live together and raise their kids together because that’s easier for when their husbands are on tour

and then someone in the queen fan club comes up with this Really Detailed theory that john and roger are actually just gay and ronnie and dom are their beards

but that gets disproved bc of the timing of robbie’s conception

but then one of the tabloids sort of picks it up

and the once That is in the public eye is sort of. never leaves? they get a lot of questions but they’re like haha no ron and dom are not our beards

and then by the time the 6th kid is changing their name

there’s all sorts of theories flying about

but not... the Correct one

and freddie’s always joking in the press about how he never thought being a gay frontman would leave him as the Boring one

and then it’s like.... 2000 and someone FINALLY catches an image of ronnie and roger Hardcore Making Out in a holiday villa (fuckin long range lenses jesus christ)

[but also like...you know they’re all just glad that they didn’t see more because that make out??? was just the appetizer to the main course if you’re picking up what i’m putting down]

and so THEN there’s a huge thing about john being cuckolded

and it ends with pretty much their house being staked out by paparazzi

and them just. going about life

and it’s somehow So Crazy to people that it takes. weeks for someone to finally say “hey what if. they’re all together?”

and like robbies on his way out after Sunday Family Dinner

and one of the paps is like ARE THEY IN A FOUR WAY RELATIONSHIP

and robbie is like... oh thank fuck. it’s taken you almost THIRTY YEARS

Because John and roger and Ronnie and Dom were like we will never admit it but we will confirm it but only if asked

And then once the kids are older they’re like look if you’re asked...go for it

like at this point it’s just a sad sad state of affairs for british journalism that no one has picked it up yet

And so the kids have been WAITING for their chance

And they’ve all though of what they’d say and how they’d say it

The other’s are salty they didn’t get to be the once to confirm it

Robbies like eh perks of being the oldest

all the kids are salty but robbies like IVE SUFFERED THE LONGEST

Robbie’s like

Do you :) remember :) how it :) was back when :) mom and dad and papa and mama :) where first :) starting out:)

I didn’t :) think so :)

anyways so it gets confirmed and there’s tons of backlash and uproar like WTF YOU’RE ALL TOGETHER??

and they get asked like, which are yours, roger??

roger: all of them

but which ones genetically are yours?

john: we think half?? not sure. we’ve never checked. also, like, we were both present...everytime...that a baby was being made....if you catch my drift

women all around the world are incredibly envious of both dominique and veronica

basically they just fend off the same stupid questions and then come home and make sweeet sweet filthy dirty sex to their wives and each other

and in the morning, they look out over their brood of children and they remind each other that they would go through hell if it meant getting to have this all over again

because they are GOOD PARENTS and they LOVE THEIR CHILDREN SO MUCH

there is some bullying? only in the sense that like, most kids pick up their biases from their parents and there’s a systematic need to mock or hate something that is ‘different’

but the kids are pretty good at handling it

and once ot4 catches wind, they shut that shit down HARD

it’s 100% in the best interested of everyone involved that ot4 do NOT go to the parent/teacher conference to handle why snot-nosed timmy from down the street was calling the-twins-that-are-not-twins bastards

so they send miami

which is arguably more effect because homeboy:

a) loves all of those little nuggets with all his heart, okay? he has single handedly wrangled british law into making them the most secure and legit children in the WORLD okay?? they are not bastards. they have FOUR legal parents

b) nothing gives him more joy than fighting with people

and finally, c) he knows that if ot4 went in he’d have to defend them in a criminal court because no one would walk out of that room unscathed

so he goes in and he very calmly and carefully explains to the school and to snot nosed timmy’s parents what will happen if the harassment continues

and when he’s done, he comes home, throws the recording of the whole meeting at ot4′s heads, reminds them not to commit any felonies, and leaves

(but not before accepting an invitation to dinner next friday night. he’s bringing cheesecake and wine)

#ot4 #john/veronica/roger/dominique #caro writes

9 notes · View notes

episodes-ff · 5 years

Text

9. Hard

Jackie

Texting away with Quentin, I just couldn’t help but smile and think about how lucky I am to have him. We’ve been going on a solid two and a half months in this relationship and he is just a breath of fresh air. He’s charming, sweet, mature, and so caring when it comes to me. He’s always uplifting and inspiring me, and I’m falling hard for him. He’s already met my family and I have met his as well, but we haven’t gone far in the intimacy department and we have not exchanged any ‘I love yous’. He’s just perfect. Of course, Anthony has not stopped bothering me since that day at school and he keeps trying to get me to be his friend, but I’m so good on that. Once he found out about bae, the harassment got worse and he’s been a total ass, further pushing me away from him.

Chilling in the living room with Lita and Kevin, I frowned at them being all boo’d up as I third wheeled with Bosco Jr. “I know BJ, I’m annoyed too.” “Ok, sis, what’s wrong?” “I miss my baby and you two being all cuddled up isn’t helping.” “I mean, you got your own room...” Kevin said causing Kolita to gasp and hit his chest. “Damn, girl!” “Don’t listen to him, he’s dumb. Why don’t you call and invite him over?” “He’s packing right now. He’s going to Chicago to interview about a possible internship.” “Awww. Well, call him anyway. You two could spend time together; it’ll be like a going away present.” Thinking on her words, I nodded before going to call him.

Not even five minutes later, he was knocking at the door and I was more than excited to see my boo. “Hey, beautiful.” “Hey, baby.” I cheesed kissing him sweetly as he scooped me up. Walking to the living room, I watched Kevin get all hard in the face as Li got up to say hi. “Baby, you know my twin, Kolita and her boyfriend, Kevin.” “Nice to see you.” “Sup.” Kevin said rudely denying him as he tried to shake his hand. “Ummm, ok. So what movie you wanna watch?” “I haven’t picked one yet, will you help me?” “Of course, beautiful. Lead the way.” He smiled kissing me before we headed upstairs to my room.

Jumping for the fifth time tonight, I hid my eyes while bae just sat and laughed quietly. “That’s not funny.” I pouted. “You are so cute, you know that?” Quentin smirked wrapping his arm around me as I held onto him. Giggling, I snuggled closer to him as we ate snacks and watched scary movies in my room. “Are you excited for your trip tomorrow?” “Yea, I am a little nervous though.” “Why is that, baby?” “This is a huge opportunity, bae. I could be interning for Barack Obama this summer. It’s my dream job.” “Quentin you’re intelligent, passionate, kind... you’re perfect for this job, baby. You’re everything.” Smiling, he touched my chin before kissing me for probably the millionth time since he’d been here. Ugh his lips are everything.

Deepening the kiss, it quickly turned into a makeout session as he sat me on his lap and rubbed my booty. “Mmmm, bae wait.” “I’m sorry. I’m moving too fast aren’t I?” “No, I just wanna make sure that we’re you know... Protected.” Leaning over to my night stand, I grabbed a condom and held it up for him. Smirking, he grabbed my hands and kissed up the side of my neck as I stifled my moans. “Are you sure?” “Yes, baby.” I whimpered as he sucked harder on my spots moving down to my shoulder.

Kolita

Watching the movie, I noticed Kevin texting away on his phone. “Who are you texting?” “Don’t worry bout it.” “Don’t worry about it? Kevin, who the fu-” “Hold up real quick. Hello? Yea, he here, I’m over at her place right now. You tryna slide? Bet. See you in 5. Aight, bye.” “Kevin, who the fuck was that?” “Anthony.” “Why would you call him over here for and exactly what are you two bout to handle?” I pressed folding my arms. “He finna slide through and we gone handle this Quentin dude.” “No! Anthony can just back the fuck up and let Jackie be happy.” “Man, fuck all that shit you talking bout.” “Woooow, I really can’t fucking believe you right now. What is your issue?” “Fuck you mean, what’s my issue? I’m looking out for my nigga! Not about to let no square ass dude come in here and take what’s his.” “Your fucking homeboy is the one that hurt my sister to begin with, fuck that nigga! Quentin is a wonderful guy for Jackie!” “So is Anthony!” “Why the fuck are you even so worried about who my sister is seeing?! You don’t ever have this attitude when dudes is hitting on me.” “Because you not stupid.” “Oh really?” “Really!” “Bet, you can leave. We’re done.” “Lita, you don’t mea-“ “Go! We’re done! Bye.” Grabbing his shit, I got up to let him out the house, and opened the door to see Anthony standing there. “Where he at, bruh?” He spat with venom in his tone. “Upstairs. Her room.” “Bet.” Pushing me out the way, I almost fell but quickly recovered before chasing after him to Jackie’s room. I swear I can’t stand niggas!

Tyler

She really thought she was just gone be done with a nigga and I was just supposed to sit back and allow that shit?! Jacqueline Ellis is mine and will always be mine! Fuck what anybody else thinking! I tried to let Anthony handle it and get our girl back, but he was fucking up on his job, so I gotta step in and resolve the issue.

Running into her room, I saw her straddling him under her covers as he was getting ready to take off her bra. Seeing red, I ran up and pushed Jackie off of him before yanking him out of the bed and onto the floor. “So you really thought you was finna give my pussy away?! To this nigga, no less!” I roared at her as I sent blow for blow for his face and torso. He was putting up a good fight, but I was getting the best of him. “Pussy ass nigga! That’s mine right there! Mine!!!” “Anthony stop! Get off of him!!!!” She screamed running over to try and break it up. Still sending hard hits, I got carried away and accidentally punched Jackie in the eye as she got in between us.

Landing on the floor, she whimpered as my heart stopped and I ran over to her. “Jackie. Baby, I’m so sorry! Shit, I’m such a fuck up! I’m stupid!!! Please forgive me, baby.” I cried trying to hold her when she punched me, knocking me back. “Get the fuck out of my house! I don’t ever wanna see you again!!! EVER!!!!” “No. No no no no, you don’t mean that. Tell me you don’t mean it!” I hollered as she got up to check on him. Holding his beaten up body in her arms, I could do nothing but get up and walk out of the house as I lost all hope in getting the one person I loved. Fuck, I lost her... for good this time.

#episodes-ff #fanfiction #Saiyr Cerai #Emaza Dilan #Damiun Moore #Crowned #Trilogy

1 note · View note

issajuju-bug · 6 years

Text

Fuckboi Troubles Two

-I literally stayed up all night to write this so a bitch is tired,but don’t worry the story not over yet.

The whole ride to the apartment was tense as fuck. I can't believe I got in his damn car, ain't no way in hell am I forgiving him. Hell, I had to fight a bitch today. I don't give a damn how good the dick is, you not about to treat me like a side piece. So why the hell am I in his car right now looking like a dumbass?

"I can't believe you just did that stupid ass shit (y/n). Then you brought yo ratchet ass cousin, wit ha loudmouth ass." Erik says pulling up to our apartment. I get out and make sure I slam the door hard as shit. "Don't be slamming my door like that."

"Shut the fuck up talkin to me. I ain't trying to hear shit you saying, I hope yo dirty ass caught fleas. And don't fix yo damn mouth to say shit about my cousin." By now we've made it to the elevator. He hits our floor number and I move to the opposite side.

I look down at my phone when it vibrates to see Nicki has texted me. 'I just pulled up, Y'all in the apartment yet?' 'Yea we stepping out now, you can go ahead and come up.' "Why is my shit outside?" "Nigga did you not understand that I'm through wit yo ass. You can take that shit to Keke's mama house."

I step into the apartment about to close the door but he pushes it open. "Erik I'm not about to do this wit you just go, you obviously don't want me. So get yo ass from around here." Could this nigga not understand what I was saying like damn.

"I ain't trying to hear all that yo ass must forgot that I pay rent for this bitch!" "And my name on the lease bitch so try again." After I said that Erik got chest to chest with me. "You got one more time to call me a bitch, so you better watch that shit." I step back and look his ass up and down. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

By now Nic is walking into the apartment and steps beside me. "Nigga I hope for yo sake you ain't threatening this one right here. Cause these hands bisexual asf and so are the bullets in my gun, so what you wanna do?" Nicki says pushing me back to step in front of Erik. "So what you gone shoot me now Nic?" I ain't saying you bout to get shot, but I can't honestly promise you not. You know I don't play no games with my cousin."

Erik backs up like he is about to leave but instead he looks at me. "I wanna hear (y/n) say she's done with me." I coulda swore I just told this nigga to get ghost, see that's that shit I be talking about. "Bye nigga." Instead of leaving like I told him this nigga starts laughing like it's something funny. "You really mad that I fucked that girl huh?" "You got damn skippy, how the fuck was I supposed to act Erik?

What you expected me to just be cool wit that shit?"

I moved past Nic to push him, I couldn't believe I was hearing this shit who the fuck did he take me for? I couldn't believe I actually loved this nigga. "You know what I hate you Erik; I hate that I ever gave yo stupid ass the time of day. I hate yo stupid ass I swear." "Yea whatever (y/n) you saying that shit now, but what about later?"

I laugh throwing my head back, "Oh you don't have to worry about later Erik because I got plenty of niggas lined up." Erik looks at me like I'm stupid and says, "The fuck you mean you got plenty lined up?" When he says that Nicki decides to make herself known again. "Nigga you honestly thought that you were the only person checking for my cousin, hell half of em are yo homeboys. Nicki says laughing way too hard for Erik's liking because he snaps.

"Man miss me wit that bullshit, you expect me to believe that them niggas dumb enough to try to (Y/n) while I'm fuckin her.....hell naw." Nicki picks up the water she left and sips it like it's tea. "I mean you don't have to believe me even if I got the messages to prove it."

"Didn't Rodney ask to eat yo pussy like it's his last supper (Y/n)?" Look at Nic ass being petty; she about to get Rodney's ass beat. "Yea he did but it's not a big deal, the thing that took me off guard was when he sent a video of his dick. When I say I was shook, girl I did not know Rodney was packing like that." I could tell Erik was getting mad but I didn't have any fucks to give.

"I swear my dude is working with three legs, I don't know how that nigga walks around with that shit. At this point, Erik is big mad he walking back and forth just mumbling. "You know what you go ahead and fuck that nigga, and when he turns yo ass out I don't wanna hear shit about it.

"Nigga I will pop this pussy for whoever I want to cause you and me are through. I promise you don't have to worry about getting a text from me." I was so ready to be done with Erik and his bullshit. "Can you just leave already I don't have time for this shit."

Erik grabs his stuff like he's about to leave but instead, he just walks down the hallway to one of the spare rooms. " I told you I'm not leaving, we got three whole rooms you can keep our old room." I know this nigga lying first, he cheats now he wanna be on some roommate shit. What's next he gone wanna braid my hair while we talk about all the people we've been fucking lately?

I look at Nic and she looking confused asf, I mean this nigga deflee said he was gone bounce if I told him to. I walk down the hallway to the spare room, "Erik you can't stay here I told yo ass yo go to Keke's momma house." "And I told yo hard of hearing ass that since I pay rent I ain't going nowhere." I look at Nicki so she could help, but this bitch on the phone talking to some nigga.

"Yea you can go ahead and slide through and make sure you bring something to drink and smoke. And it better not be Henny either." She looks at me and Erik with a big ass grin on her face. "You don't have to leave Erik I mean as long as you don't care about Rodney sliding through?"

This bitch must want a fight to break out, why the hell would she invite Rodney's ass. "Hell naw that nigga ain't coming up in here with that shit." "Erik you not my damn daddy I can do whatever the fuck I want." He looked at me smirking, "Oh so now I'm not yo daddy, ok then that nigga better not come here.

He walks into the room and closes the door. "Come on bitch we gotta get you dressed for Rodney," Nic says dragging me to my room. I was not ready for what was about to go down. Nic had decided that we should drink a little before Rodney came just so I could loosen up.

By the time Rodney came through I was gone. I never drunk a lot because of me being a bit of a lightweight. Erik usually stopped me when he noticed I was having a bit too much. I ended up answering the door.

”Heyyyy Rodney what's up, what took you so long to get here, ” I say pulling him into the apartment. He's looking around like he's trying to find somebody. ”Oh, you (y/n) I just didn't know if Nicki was being serious or not.”

I pull him to the couch while Nic is messing with my speaker. She turns Drowning on, at this point, I'm not really paying attention. I look Rodney up and down. He was a fine piece of dark chocolate that had pretty white teeth. He had a low cut with waves so deep it could make you sick, but no matter how fine he was or how drunk I was, he wasn't Erik.

Ask me if I'm gone let that stop me from getting this pussy popped. Nic is at the table rolling up. I look back at Rodney to see him looking at me mad hard. ”So you and ole dude broke up?” He asks scooting closer to me. Now Rod’s ass is supposed to be Erik boy, but shidd I see that don't mean shit. But that ain't none of my business as long as he takes my mind off of Erik ain't shit ass I could care less.

”Yea me and ole boy done I'm surprised you didn't know.” Nicki comes back with the blunt and hands it to me so I can light it. Now I'm not about to sit here and say I smoke on the daily but I know a lil.

I don't know how long it took us to smoke all the weed, but I feel like I smoked the most. Nicki is laying on the floor just eating some chips while I'm laid all over Rodney. I mean my ass is pressing into this nigga’s dick. I was about to say something but Rock by Plies came on and Nic decided to cut it up loud as shit. ”

SHE IS MY ROCK BUST AT THE OP HOLD DOWN THE SPOT, BEAST WITH THE BOX. SHAWTY BE WET, DOPE IN THE POT. BEAT DOWN THE BLOCK, THE BEST THING I GOT. SHE IS MY ROCK, OCK, OCK, OCK, OCK, OCK, OCK.SHE IS MY ROCK, OCK, OCK, OCK, OCK, OCK, OCK!

When I say that shit was loud I mean I could feel the vibrations on the table. Nic made Rodney and me get up to do the damn dance with her, that was all. Next thing I know Rodney grinding his damn dick all on my ass. I mean he wasn't trying to hide it at all, he was holding my hips to make sure I didn't move.

I don't know if it was the weed or the alcohol, but my ass was just going along for the ride. In fact, we were all into it so much that we didn't notice Erik coming into the living room to tell Nic and me to turn down the music. Everything after that seemed to move in slow motion.

Erik looked at Rodney first, then where his hands were; he looked at how close we were last. He went from mad to pissed tf off. ”Nigga if you don't take yo goddamn hands off my girl, I'm gone break them shits.” I tried to move just in case Erik jumped over the couch to get to Rod, but this nigga’s grip was hard as hell.

”Last time I checked Y'all broke up so I can do whatever the fuck I want. I look at Nicki and she moving my table against the wall. ” I don't give no fucks while I'm staying here paying rent she my girl.” If this nigga mention paying the rent one more damn time I'm gone hit his ass.

Rod finally lets me go so he can step closer to Erik. ”Well if she was all on me like that then you must not be doing something right.” Nic and I move the couch forward just in case these niggas get to tussling. ” I don't even see why you coming at me like this E, I thought we were boys?”

Erik steps closer to Rod, ” Nigga we weren't shit especially since you trying to fuck (Y/n).” Lord, I swear these niggas gone make me get a white boy. You know what they say ’Once you go white your credit get right.’ I don't know what Rod ass said cause I started ignoring they asses, but the next thing I know Erik then hit this nigga. Why when a nigga gets hit his first reaction is to grab the nigga that hit him.

Now Rodney wasn't weak by no means, he used to be a linebacker on the varsity football team. So it can be dangerous if he gets a good grip on you. When he grabbed Erik he took him to the ground and these niggas just had to break my side table. Erik was trying to get up but like I said Rodney was more on the wrestling side than actually throwing hands.

”Well, there goes any high I had; do you wanna break that up, ” Nic asks me looking at the fight. I really didn't want to get involved in that because of the fact that we could get hurt, but if we didn't these niggas were going to break everything. ”Aye, Y'all can take this shit outside.

Nic and I are trying to pull Rodney off Erik but this bastard is strong as fuck. With us trying to pull him off, Erik pushes him which results in Rod falling back with me and Nicki falling too. Nicki’s not hurt and for a sec, I think I'm ok too until I feel this really sharp pain in my lower back.

I ignore it and get back up to help Nic cause now Erik is hitting Rodney. ”I'm gon tase both Y'all asses I swear.” It's a little easier to get Erik off of Rod, but that doesn't mean they stopped fighting. Rod is up in a sec trying to get back at Erik.

Nic steps in front of him while I push Erik back some. ”Rodney I'm sorry but can you leave, I'll call you later.” “Man nawl fuck you bitch and that nigga.” What the fuck did I do I’m just trying to break up this damn fight. “Call her a bitch again and watch I rock yo shit.” “And I’m wit Erik for once, bitch you than lost yo everlasting mind talking to my cousin like that.”

I mean I can see why Rodney is mad, Erik did fuck his face up. He snatches away from Nicki to go to the door. ”That's why yo dick little you peanut head ass nigga.” Yea we lied about him having a big dick, we just wanted Erik to be mad.

Rodney slams the door when he leaves, but all I care about is all the shit they broke. I try to sit down on the couch but it hurts every time I bend. ”Whats wrong with you did he hit you, ” Erik asks walking over to me. ”No, but when I fell I think I hit my tailbone.”

Nicki goes to get something cold while I try to walk to my room. I couldn't even make it out of the living room before Erik picks me up, which hurts like hell because I'm bending. ”No Erik put me down this hurts I can walk myself.” He takes me to our my room and lays me on my stomach.

Nicki comes with some ice in a small Ziploc bag Erik grabs it from her and puts it on my lower back. ”I'm going to the other room, you gone be ok or...?” Nicki trails off looking at me. ”Yea I'll be ok thanks Nic.

”Its ok Erik you don't have to hold it I'll do it, ” I say trying to reach my hand back but he just hits it. ”It's my fault you're hurt so this the least I can do.” I feel like he wasn't just talking about his fight with Rodney, but him cheating too. ”I don't wanna talk about it anymore E.”

”Well I want to talk about it (Y/n), I was stupid to cheat on you. Then I got mad when you wanted to move on.” I turn my head away from him to look at the headboard since my eyes were starting to water. I was so ready to push him away but was that really what I wanted.

Erik was my first real love but that doesn't mean I can just let him cheat on me. My mom uses to tell me that cheating wasn't a dealbreaker for her and my dad. She said because of it only happening once and my dad begging for forgiveness, but could I trust Erik not to cheat again.

”You don't have to worry about me anymore, I'll be gone in the morning,” Erik said getting ready to leave. I turn to grab him, ”We can try again, slower this time.” I said while my tears were finally starting to fall. Yea I'm stupid but love often makes people like that.

”Lay back down baby before you hurt yourself again.” ”If I lay down are you going to leave?” I ask looking at him. He shakes his head as he wipes my tears away. He pulls the covers over me and gets up to cut the light off. He comes back to lay down beside me being careful not to hurt me.

”How about we finish talking about this tomorrow?” Erik asks looking at me or at least I think he's looking, it's too dark to tell. ”Can I ask you something E?” He laughs which makes his chest jump. ” You just did, ” he says pulling me closer. ”You know what I meant smartass.”

”I did I just love to mess with you.” I take a deep breath thinking if I really wanted to know the answer to this question. Another thing my mom said that if you didn't want the answer don't ask the question.

”What made you cheat on me?” I ask poking his chest. ”You had pissed me off, I don't even remember what we argued about that day. When I left I went to the club to just drink, but I saw ole girl there and she was pushing on me had as hell. So I said fuck it, we didn't fuck that night she just sucked my dick.”

I let all that sink in, I kinda wondered did he forget her name. ”But like I said we’ll talk about that tomorrow, now go to sleep and don't think about it.” We get comfortable and I close my eyes thinking about what was going to happen tomorrow morning.

#erik killmonger imagine #erik killmonger x reader #woc!reader #poc!reader #black panther imagine

115 notes · View notes

lilacsolanum · 6 years

Note

am I correct that you once mentioned being able to talk forever about the breakdown of Animorphs team dynamics at the end of the war? please... if so... i'd love to hear your thoughts...

YES, YOU ARE VERY CORRECT. HERE WE GO.

Cassie and Ax are the only ones whose books straight up lay down the law on this. The Sacrifice has Ax straight up talking shit about, like, everyone but Marco. Marco he’s cool with, because Marco’s clear headed and not worried about getting his hands dirty. Marco’s like “Man, drop a nuclear bomb if you GOTTA, like I don’t LOVE the idea but what’s an intergalactic war without a ‘lil nuke here and there? Makes it EXCITING.” But he starts getting disenfranchised with Jake - “I wished now not for Jake, but for an Andalite commander. An experienced soldier. Someone who better understood when to fight and when to watch.” He is OVER how Rachel is terrifyingly violent and should have been removed from fighting a while ago (the scene where Ax chooses to forgive and free a Yeerk-moprhed-bird who is just trying to become a nothlit — only for Rachel to thoughtlessly murder the Yeerk on a rampage — is one of the most chilling moments in Animorphs. I gasped and had the set the book down when I first read it, and I first read it as an adult.) While He even straight up calls Tobias out on getting trapped in morph on purpose - “He stayed in red-tailed hawk morph for longer than two hours. I suspect he did it on purpose. It was his way of escaping the complexities of human life. Although he exchanged them for a new set of complexities.” When he finds out Cassie gave away the morphing technology, he says “I could not stop looking at Cassie. I was not exactly sure what I was feeling. But I was sure it was very close to hatred.” Later he says “Perhaps the real menace lay at the other end of the continuum - represented by Cassie. Humans who were softer. Kinder. Well-meaning. And, ironically, infinitely more dangerous.” He eventually does forgive Cassie and start to understand her choice, but it takes him a MOMENT. Ax is TIRED in this book. The Sacrifice is just Ax talking shit about everyone, it’s amazing. “My hatred for Cassie began to extend to them all. They were fools. They would never prevail. They were too soft. Too sentimental. Too childish. Too stupid and ignorant.” - Aximili in The Sacrifice, pouring out some tea.

Ax ends up in this really sad place at the end of the war where he’s resigned to dying on Earth, to dying with his human friends, and he sees honor in that but he does not want it. Ax is easily the least developed characters in the series, especially once he’s given to the ghostwriters. He’s either The Funny Alien Bro or he’s the writer’s voice of political commentary. VERY RARELY is he treated with respect. Because of this inconsistency, it’s hard to say what Ax does immediately after the war. Does he just peace out to Andalite immediately? Does he take time to decide what he truly wants? Does he decide he truly wants to stay on Earth with humans but goes back to Andalite out of duty? Does he reach out to Tobias? Does he quietly accept Tobias’s decision to isolate himself and feel secretly relieved that he no longer has to care for this neurotic bird? Does he feel guilty about being secretly relieved? Does he not care he’s relieved? There are a ton of ways to interpret Ax and view his post war decisions. The only thing we know from The Sacrifice is that he’s pretty fucking DONE.

Cassie talks a ton of shit, too. (”The truth was, and it hurt me to admit it, Jake just wasn’t Jake anymore.” - The Ultimate. “Rachel’s voice, on the other hand, was firm and unhesitating. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m thinking it’s time to explode a big ‘ole bomb.” “And you couldn’t be happier,” Cassie said bitterly to Rachel. “Could you?”” - The Sacrifice.) Cassie always has sweetly-snide things to say about everyone in her narration (homegurl is always like “Marco is funny, but only to cover up his own fear.” “Yeah Tobias DEFINITELY trapped himself in morph.” “Rachel is a mess.” Cassie is a southern church lady and a master at shade and I love her.)

Cassie and Ax are basically just. Done with everyone. Cassie has already realized all her friends are way too war-touched to ever be healthy, and knows, on some level, that she’ll retain enough stability be able to elevate herself past the PTSD. In her last book, she makes this sad, desperate last chance grab at retaining what was left of Jake’s humanity. After that, we don’t see many people really connecting with Cassie and honestly, it’s not because she gave away the morphing cube. It’s because the Animorphs agree to blow up the Yeerk pool. I think that is a defining point for Cassie, the equivalent of Jake losing his parents. Her fate is sealed when she is forced to participate in destroying the Pool. She doesn’t like herself and she doesn’t like these people. She completely gives up on Jake and knows they have no future, which you see plainly in her reaction to Jake’s proposal (I don’t know what I expected her answer to be, but I didn’t expect her to start crying. And not tears of joy, either. “I would like that … eventually,” she said. “ But. But what?” She sighed. “But, Jake, what are you going to be? What are you going to do?” “Guess I thought I’d go to college,” I said. “And study what, Jake? Me, I’ll go to college, I’ll become a doctor. never forget what’s happened, I’ll never even try, but I’ll be able to slip back into a normal life. But you, Jake?” ) She is straight up aggressive toward Rachel in The Ultimate (”“Why do you have to be so horrible?” Cassie exploded. “You are, you know. And you get worse every day. Your own mother can’t even stand you.””) Cassie is maybe not consciously aware that she is the only one who will truly survive the war, but she knows SOMETHING, and she starts to distances herself and gives up on her friends at the end of the war. It’s another one of Cassie’s bright clear lines.

Marco doesn’t really comment on things falling apart, but I also don’t think Marco approaches exactly HOW falling apart things have become in the same honest way Cassie and Ax do. Listen: homeboy has abandoment issues. Which I guess is extrapolation, as I can’t really think of any example where he’s directly like “Everyone Leaves Me Eventually Fuck ‘Em And Their Little Dog Too”, but the text DOES tell us 1. Marco’s mom died when he was 11, which is a very big thing to happen to a very tiny child; 2. His dad mentally checked out immediately after and 3. After the war, Marco awkwardly tries to keep the band together. He admits to spying on Jake in his free time in The Beginning, AND I MEAN. “Marco lived half a mile from me, in a house about seven times bigger than mine. We’d started hanging out again. And after awhile he’d given up arranging dates for me with whatever starlet happened to be willing.” (Jake, The Beginning). Some of that is Jake giving back to Marco, but one can ONLY ASSUME from Marco’s weird spying that Marco pulled every drop of Jake’s friendship out by sheer force of will. He also apparently invites Cassie AND HER BOYFRIEND to his Hollywood parties (I spoke to Cassie every couple of months. She was seeing some guy … actually, a good guy. I had met him at one of Marco’s parties.) and is in general all up in her shit. He does this crazy detailed run down of every step Cassie has made post-war in Chapter 10 of The Beginning. Like bro why do you even know Wal-mart tried to get Cassie to sign a deal with them? Because you’re not as cool as you think, and you miss the fuck out of the Animorphs. His defining character trait is also “Cares about no one unless he adopts you as as family, in which case he will walk right into hell and personally bitch slap satan to ensure your safety.” I honestly don’t think it OCCURS to him that they won’t all be friends after the war. He comments a bit on people falling apart, but I swear he thinks they’re all going to fall apart together. Marco is arguably in a better position when the war ends than when it started. He brings his mother back from the dead, his dad is functioning, he is rich and famous, everything is great (save for the inevitable trauma of his parents and the existence of Nora and the fact he deliberately put her in harm and all the other terrible realizations we’ve all had about that family). But I can’t help but feel that his abandonment issues are part of what lead him to The Rachel. He sacrifices a pretty bomb life to go on a suicide mission without question, because Marco doesn’t have much family, and he adopted the Animorphs as a family, and now the only way to get that family back for even a moment is to go on The Rachel.

Basically, at the end of the war, Marco is something close to happy and hopeful. The last book he narrates is a fucking romp with tanks and ducks and bondage jokes (”” ICONIC). He’s focused on his parents, and he’s not really seeing the looming aftermath of war.

Tobias is sort of in the same situation. He’s dealing with a lot. He’s got a Loren now, and he’s awkwardly morphing human for her. He has been disenfranchised with Jake ever since Jake manipulated him into volunteering himself for torture. He’s kicking it with Marco and Ax and they have this sort of unofficial club going on, but he never mentions particularly connecting with Marco on the same level he does Rachel or Ax or even Cassie. Which, don’t get me wrong, I am 100% a huge believer in Team Finesse as disgruntled roommates who care for each other deep down, but it’s ultimately not enough of a connection to keep him around after Rachel’s death. That’s the thing with Tobias. He was always sort of detached from everyone but Rachel and Ax, and Ax was somewhat circumstantial. We all love the shorms, shorms are real, but there’s definitely a reading where the two of them bonded because they had to. I also definitely think Tobias never truly believed in Ax’s love for him. That’s the thing with Tobias, he can joke and he can bond and he has a nice time with the other Animorphs but he doesn’t believe in a universe where they hang out without the Yeerks, ya feel? He can go on a tank joy ride with Marco, but underneath it he’s thinking “This hilarious class clown wouldn’t give me the time of day if it wasn’t for Elfangor.” He can listen to Ax call him shorm, but ultimately he’s going to feel “Ax is only here because he has no other option, we wouldn’t be friends otherwise.” That’s why as soon as Rachel dies, Tobias is out. When Cassie says, “He doesn’t hate you, Jake. He never did. His heart was broken, that’s all. And you know, Tobias never had anyone. No one before Rachel. No mother, really, no father he could ever know. Rachel was the first and only person who ever loved Tobias.” (The Beginning), I think she’s speaking from Tobias’s POV, because she knows of all people that Tobias was loved and loved fiercely by many. It’s just that when Rachel said it, he actually believed her. (This is a line I’ve been sitting on for a minute and will use in a fic, so anyone who reads it again later, act surprised okay?)

And Jake and Rachel have isolating incidents that are pretty clear on the page. Rachel’s descent into extreme violence addiction isn’t super well done, but these ARE children’s books. As dark as these books are, there’s something so incredibly disturbing about watching a child find joy in a shower of blood that it’s not really well touched upon. All we know is that she’s out of control, to the point where when confronted by an armed but currently peaceful group of soldiers, she ignores orders from Ax and attempts to ram through the human shield by physically stomping on her mother’s foot and forcing the gas pedal. No one wants to hang out with Rachel by this point, not even her family, not even Cassie. Well, we can assume Tobias is still kicking it with her, but we never get a scene of them together which is a SHAME. And Jake is, you know. I’ve rambled enough, but anyone who has read the series knows that Jake withdraws from his friends when he loses his parents in The Diversion. Marco and Tobias are too preoccupied to help, Cassie tries to the point where she hands their only leverage over to the enemy but eventually gives up on EVERYONE, and Ax is too exhausted to care. I don’t think it would have mattered much if Jake had gotten a ton of support though. He’d given up by then.

ANYWAY you asked for my feelings on the kids drifting away from each other and I gave you 2K because I am extra.

#animorphs #animorphs meta #long post #i'm so sorry #i'm not sorry #I'm full demi lovato in this moment #pretty-rage-machine

325 notes · View notes

lubbuthedigitalnomad · 3 years

Link

I hope you are happy and healthy. We are winding down the 13th lunar month here in the Boudha Stupa neighborhood of Kathmandu, Nepal. The year of the Male Metal Mouse/Iron Rat 2147 is about to end. On February 12, the Tibetan new year of the Female Metal Ox 2148 begins. In honor of the occasion (and for a little lighten-up from the heavier, more esoteric writing of the past few weeks) the next few weeks will be nothing but fun. This week’s excerpt is from the Fearless Puppy On American Road book. It is a small part of the chapter about my season and a half playing a biker on the TV show OZ. I hope it is as fun for you as it was for me.

FEARLESS PUPPY WEBSITE BLOG

FEARLESS PUPPY ON AMERICAN ROAD/AMAZON PAGE

REINCARNATION THROUGH COMMON SENSE/AMAZON PAGE

FEARLESS WEBSITE

Angels From Hell In The Land Of OZ

Welcome to a TV set like no other — Oswald State Penitentiary.

The first day on location scared the shit out of me. I would have had a more comfortable entrance into show biz had they cast me as lunch in a lion’s cage. OZ was shot on the entire sixth floor of a building that took up a full city block on Manhattan’s lower west side. A month’s rent for the space could likely feed a small nation. The whole floor was dressed up like a prison. Real cells with bars had been built into the walls. There was a common room, dining hall, infirmary, chaplain’s and warden’s offices, institutional kitchen, basketball court/exercise yard, and much more.

Also present were three hundred of the spookiest looking people ever assembled in one place. Over two hundred of them wore prison uniforms. Thirty or so wore prison guard uniforms. A narrator, warden, chaplain, the featured stars, and a few nurses rounded out the cast. The narrator, warden, chaplain, and nurses were professional actors with years of experience. So were most of the main characters that had speaking roles. Very few other folks were. Most were people who, like myself, just answered a classified advertisement. If we walked into the agency possessing “the look” that the agents thought would fill the position, we got hired. Our look earned us pretty much the same job as the painted background scenery. We had to go where the director told us to go and be silent.

The agents were very good at their job. The majority of these extras had a lot of personal history that fit in with their look, and with the show. Many of the men that played gay prisoners kissed each other even when the cameras were off. A lot of the extras who played felons, gang members, junkies, and assorted criminal types were currently, or had been — felons, gang members, junkies, and assorted criminal types in real life.

The casting department put me with the biker group. It was a select position. Unlike the gang bangers, skinhead racists, and other assorted cliques (not to mention the main general-prisoner population group), there were only about a half dozen bikers. This meant that every time a scene was to be shot that slated the biker group in it, we’d each get more individual face-in-the-camera time than the members of larger groups would. More exposure could mean that someone from the film industry might spot you, like your look, and give you a chance at some real acting.

The possibility of making the big time never impressed me much. Having fun was most important. But during the first day, my main concern was getting over the heebie-jeebies. It didn’t take too long for me to get relaxed, thanks to my association with the biker crew. Most of that had to do with Tattoo Mike. Tattoo Mike had earned his name for obvious reasons. The biggest (and only the biggest!) of the Muslim characters would joke with him, “Glad you came in today, Mike. I needed something to read.”

Finely crafted wording and designs covered nearly the entire body of this biker/actor. He had a tattooed necklace of skulls that summed up his body’s art museum. His long, dark beard finished in two braided strands resembling inverted horns. You didn’t have to meet Mike in a dark alley to be scared of him.

Looks can be accurate and deceiving at the same time.

Any so-called sane person who had been conditioned by a lifetime of media imagery would have run like hell from this man. I sat down next to him. It was the best move I made during my short show biz career.

Don’t get me wrong here. You surely would not want to see this person pissed off! That would be ugly. But on the set, Mike was a gentleman’s gentleman. He was soft-spoken, generous, and helpful to all. He had the air of a man with nothing left to prove to himself or anyone else. Mike knew that in any situation where intimidation was required, it was already accomplished. All he had to do was be present. But on set, he made every effort to counteract the fear that his presence might cause in others.

Introductions and conversation came easily. A few minutes in, I confessed about my nervous condition. “To tell you the truth, Mike, the set almost scared the shit out of me as much as the cast. At first, walking in and seeing the cells with bars, and then the guards — I mean the actors in guard’s uniforms! See, that’s the thing! The whole place is so real looking that it’s spooky.”

“Yeah, I know,” he winked.

I’m sure he did.

“C’mon,” he continued. “I’ll give you the tour.” We walked through various cell blocks, guard towers, weight rooms, etc. “The more you look around, the more real it seems, eh?”

I nodded in silence. The production crew were masters of their craft. The place truly was way too real to be comfortable in.

While walking back to the holding room, we passed through the kitchen section. Filming was in progress. Mike made the sshhh! sign with a finger to his lips. An absolutely chiseled brick house of a man who looked very familiar was screaming at a fellow actor and the camera. “I run the fucking kitchen. Nobody eats in this damn place unless I say so!”

My eyes bugged out as I whispered, “Holy shit!” Mike gave me a “what’s up?” look. We walked over to where we could talk without disturbing the shoot. “Mike! Is that Sylvester Stallone? He’s on this show?”

“Ha!” Mike laughed. “Well, that’s an easy mistake to make, man. There is a resemblance there. No, that’s not Stallone. That man there is a lot more dangerous than Stallone. He plays the head of the Mafia population in this make believe joint. In real life, he’s a Golden Gloves boxing champion and has two or three black belts in different forms of martial arts. He had to kick a famous karate-movie star’s ass on the street one night. Chuck didn’t want to do it, but the guy just kept pushing him. If possible, Chuck walks away from stupid people. A guy like him doesn’t want to fight people unless it’s in a ring. Street combat is too dangerous for opponents. The competition can get hurt very badly in that situation. He’s also my chief.”

This surprised me. “Your chief? Neither of you looks Native American.”

Mike laughed through his reply. “Not that kind of chief, Ten. Chuck is my road chief, and the president of the New York City chapter of the Hell’s Angels.”

“Well, if he’s your chief that means that you…”

Mike confirmed his status with a nod and a wink. “I’m a real one! Hey, it’s not just me. Many of the players on this set have had a lot more experience living their parts than acting them.”

Just then, “Mother,” the two-hundred-and-fifty-pound head of Oswald State Penitentiary’s gay pain-and-abuse faction sauntered through. “Hey Mikie, who’s the fresh meat? Y’know Mikie, I’d really like to run my tongue around the bottom of your balls for half an hour or so.”

Tattoo Mike gave that nasty Mother a stare that could have frozen a raging forest fire. Mother slithered off cautiously.

Mike introduced me to Ron the Muslim, Terry the Homeboy, and Hector, along with several of his Hispanic Knife-Fighters. Through them I met much of the rest of the crew. Once I got to know these folks, most weren’t scary at all.

Others were even scarier than they had originally appeared.

About the Author

Doug “Ten” Rose may be the biggest smartass as well as one of the most entertaining survivors of the hitchhiking adventurers that used to cover America’s highways. He is the author of the books Fearless Puppy on American Road and Reincarnation Through Common Sense, has survived heroin addiction and death, and is a graduate of over a hundred thousand miles of travel without ever driving a car, owning a phone, or having a bank account.

Ten Rose and his work are a vibrant part of the present and future as well as an essential remnant of a vanishing breed.

Follow him on Facebook, Doug Ten Rose

Travel Adventure Books can be an excellent gift to your friends and family, buy from Amazon.com

#traveladventurebooks #keepreading

The books Fearless Puppy On American Road and Reincarnation Through Common Sense by this same author are also available through Amazon or the Fearless Puppy website, where there are sample chapters from those books. Entertaining TV/radio interviews with and newspaper articles about the author are also available there. There is no charge for anything but the complete books! All author profits from book sales will be donated to help sponsor an increase in the number of wisdom professionals on Earth, beginning with but certainly not limited to Buddhist monks and nuns.

If you missed the Introduction to the new book that will be titled Temple Dog Soldier, or would like to see several chapters of it that are available for free online, go to the Puppy website Blog section. This is a book in progress. You will be reading it as it is being created! Just like you, I don’t know what the next chapter is going to be about until it is written. As the Intro will tell you, this is a totally true story — and probably the only book ever written by and about a corpse journeying completely around the world!

#adventure books #travel adventure books #travel adventure book #fearless puppy on american road #Reincarnation Through Common Sense #amazon kindle #kindle books #buddhism #buddhism books

0 notes

filmfanatic82 · 6 years

Text

The Long Game - Chapter 15: Touching the Void

AO3 Link (HERE)

Chapter 15: Touching the Void

“Kiiiimmmiiieeee!”

Kim can’t help but smile as she climbs up into the zord cavern and spots Zack sitting on top of his black mastodon zord. “Hey.”

Zack clumsily hops down, careful not to spill the half-empty bottle of tequila in his hand and matches her smile with his signature goofy grin. “You convince Crazy Girl to stay?”

“Sorta.”

Zack raises an eyebrow. “Sorta?”

Kim takes a seat against a large boulder and lets out a light sigh. “It’s complicated.”

“When is it not with you two?”

“Touché.”

Zack lowers himself down next to Kim and takes a swig of tequila. A moment of silence passes between the two of them, then--

“I get it.”

“Get what?”

“What you did. I get it. Still pretty fucked you that you didn’t give us a heads up, but I get it.” Zack offers Kim the bottle, but she turns him down with a light shake of her head.

“Thanks,” Kim responds trying to keep her composure. She’s already emotionally and mentally drained from the last hour and half of re-hashing the past with Jason. “Jason and I already got into your stash in the morphing grid.”

“Niiiice.” Zack takes another swig. “Did he finally pull his head outta his ass?”

“More or less.”

“Good. Knew my homeboy would come around.” Zack finishes the last of the bottle and then launches it over the edge of the ledge with a sudden burst of alcohol fueled energy. “Tiny will come around too. She just needs some time to be all broody and shit.”

Kim lets a sarcastic chuckle slip out at these words. “Yeah. Good thing we’ve got tons and tons of time.”

“She loves you.”

Kim raises an eyebrow in Zack’s direction.

“Fine. Don’t believe me. But she does. Never stopped. Not for a single moment. I mean sure she dated other girls and swore up and down for years that she was over you. But I know Tiny better than anyone else in the entire world. That girl will always love you. No matter how much you fuck up or break her heart.”

“Maybe she shouldn’t,” Kim quietly replies as she stares out into the dark abyss of the cavern.

“That’s just stupid, Kimmie.”

“Is it? All I’ve done is hurt her.”

Zack takes a moment, allowing them to sit in the silence and then—

“Did Trini ever tell you what went down after my mom died?”

“No.”

“I developed this like epic death wish and spent years being nothing but an absolute prick to Trini,” Zack responds with a heavy exhale of air. “I was dead set on pushing her away. Cause it was easier… Cleaner. But every time I fucked up, there she was. Ready to kick my ass and chew me out in both Spanish and English. And finally, one day I woke up and realized that this what unconditional love looks like. When someone is willing to be there no matter what. Regardless of how much of an ass you are.”

Kim runs her hands through her hair as she lets Zack’s words settle down upon her. “I love her too.”

Zack just nods in response and then, in a slightly unorthodox move, extends his arm, wrapping it around Kim’s shoulder. Kim leans into him and lets out a sigh of utter exhaustion as she rests her head against his shoulder.

“Kimmie?”

“Yeah?”

“Just how much money do you really have?”

A smile slowly crawls across Kim’s face. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Like are we talkin’ millions as in ‘buy a private jet’ millions?”

“Not answering that.”

“C’mon. Please? Just a hint.”

Kim shakes her head, unable to hold back the laughter. “Not happenin’ Zack.”

“Fiiine,” Zack replies with a bit of an overly dramatic pout. “You know I’m gonna find out one way or another.”

“Yeah. I know.”

A comforting silence creeps back in again between the two of them, as they sit there looking out onto the cavern, just existing with one another.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Trini?” Kim whispers from the doorway of the medical bay, almost as if she doesn’t want the small sleeping latina to actually hear her.

Trini lays curled up on one of the spare cots in the far corner of the room, seemingly dead to the world. She doesn’t even stir at the sound of Kim’s voice.

Kim lingers for a moment or two in the doorway just watching Trini sleep, too afraid to even take a single step within the actual room itself.

Then, she notices it.

There, bunched up within Trini’s hands, in the yellow beanie that Kim had bought for her just a few days ago at Target. Her fingers dig deep into the soft yellow fabric as if clinging to a lifeline.

A small conflicted smile spreads across Kim’s face as she takes in the sight. Every single ounce of her very being craves simply just to lay down beside Trini, wrap her arms around her, and never let go. To live there in that moment, forgetting all that has occurred and all that is to come.

But Kim knows better.

She’s already caused Trini more than a lifetime’s worth of heartache. No use doing any more damage, regardless of Kim’s own selfish wishes and desires.

Kim lets out a long exhale of air and then quietly moves into the medical bay, paying extra caution not to make any sound whatsoever. As she approaches Trini, she digs into her back pocket of her jeans and pulls out a slight crumpled envelope.

The letter had been Zack’s idea. One born out of a lengthy conversation between the two of them covering a vast array of topics including Kim’s love/ hate relationship with the game of blackjack and how exactly they were going to defeat the First once and for all. The latter topic had been the hardest to discuss. Although Kim tired to keep it strictly to the facts, it was simply impossible to prevent her emotions from creeping in.

And Zack had been no better. Thanks to the bottle of tequila already coursing through his system, the boy was nothing more than a emotional mess by the time Kim finished walking him through the plan. Up until that point, she has never really seen him cry. Maybe a few stray tears here and there, but never had Kim witnessed Zack letting down his goofy facade and bearing his true, raw emotions.

After some comforting words and an extra lengthy hug or two, Zack had proposed that Kim write Trini a letter instead of telling Trini first hand.

Kim looks down at the envelop and lets out a long, hard sigh. She knows deep down that this is the coward’s way out. Slip a letter under Trini’s pillow and be already gone by the time the girl wakes.

But what other choice is there?

Talking to Jason and Zack had be heart wrenching enough. Kim can’t even imagine how she would handle telling Trini. Or even if she could actually go through with it at all.

No. Kim’s already done enough permanent damage.

Without another moment’s hesitation, Kim quietly approaches Trini and gently tucks the letter underneath the small latina’s arm. She lets her fingers linger for an extra second or two, ever so gently ghosting over Trini’s flawless features, as if committing every inch to memory.

Then, Kim reaches into her shirt, unclasps the sabertooth necklace, and with one final squeeze, carefully places it down on the cot, right next to the letter.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“But there’s gotta be something, right?” Jason rubs the back of his neck in an attempt to release some of his pent up nerves.

Billy glances up from the control panel screen and takes note of Jason’s agitated state. “I’m afraid not. I’ve been studying these texts for years now and there’s nothing. Not even an obscure reference. Everything I’ve read aligns perfectly with what Zordon and Kim have said will happen. But, that being said, no one has ever done this before so maybe there will be some sort of anomaly that we haven’t accounted for.”

“Yeah. Maybe…” Jason trails off, still battling with his ever growing fear and anxiety.

Billy reaches back and gently takes hold of Jason’s hand, giving it a loving squeeze. This simple act, instantly stops Jason in his tracks as a wave of calmness washes over him. He wraps his arms around Billy, encompassing his husband in a deep hug and rests his head on Billy’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to lose her again,” Jason whispers softly into the air between them, voice ever so slightly quivering.

Billy leans back and plants a tender kiss on Jason’s lips. “We’re not going to.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Billy shrugs. “Not sure really. Guess I just have faith that we’ll figure something out… We always do.”

“Knew I’d find you guys here,” Kim says as she makes her way into the morphing grid.

Billy and Jason instantly untangle from each other at the sound of Kim’s voice and each greet her with sympathetic smile.

“Where you’ve been?” Jason asks, making room for Kim to join the two of them.

“Taking care of some business.”

“Zack?”

Kim nods. “Yeah. I bought him up to speed.”

“And Trini?” Billy stops messing around with the control panel, giving Kim his full attention.

“I wrote her a letter. It explains the basics. At least enough to keep her safe.”

“A letter?” Jason raises an eyebrow in Kim’s direction.

“I know,” Kim sighs running her hands through her hair. “Not ideal, but I just…”

Kim trails off unable to finish her sentence. She can’t.

“We’ll fill her in on the rest when she wakes up,” Jason responds with a look of understanding.

“Thanks.”

“You leaving soon?” Billy asks.

“Yeah probably. No need to prolong the inevitable, right?”

Upon these words, Jason reach out and places his hand on Kim’s shoulder, trying to provide what comfort he can. “You don’t have to go alone. One of us can go with you.”

“Too risky. Besides, it’s not like you won’t be there. You know the plan. Just wait for the signal. It’s rigged that as soon as I enter the realm, Alpha 5 will be alerted.”

“The alert is really just a precautionary, backup measure. As Kim crosses into the realm, we should more or less feel it occur. Or at least have some internal sense that something is off,” Billy chimes in.

“Ranger connection?”

Kim gives Jason a nod in confirmation. “And then all you guys need to do fend off those faceless freaks from the Zeo Crystal until we know it’s worked.”

“What about the First? Or whatever form it’s gonna take this time,” Jason asks.

“It’ll be too busy with me,” Kim quietly responds devoid of any emotion whatsoever. She can’t let herself go there. Not yet.

“Kim, you don’t have to--” Jason starts in, voice laced with bubbling emotions.

“Don’t. Okay?” Kim stops him, placing her hand on top of his on her shoulder. “We both know I do.”

Tears start to whelm up in Jason’s eyes as he trying to produce a smile. “We’ll be there by your side. Through it all.”

“Counting on it,” Kim matches his smile and then pulls him in for a much needed hug. The two linger for a moment or two, neither one wanting to let go of the other. “Promise me you’ll stay away this time? No matter what happens?”

“I promise.”

“And Trini…”

“I’ll keep her away too,” Jason responds in a reassuring voice.

“Good. She’s kinda the one thing that anchors me and I don’t I’ll be able to cross over if--”

“Sublatis ancoris...” Billy suddenly pipes up as his face lights up with undiluted excitement. “That’s it.”

Without another word of explanation, Billy turns his attention back to the control panel and starts typing away at a feverish pace.

“B…” Kim exchanges a look of concern with Jason.

“Baby. What’s going--”

“Sublatis ancoris. It’s Latin for anchor,” Billy responds back, not taking his eyes off of the control panel.

“Okay. But what does that have to do with--”

“Kim said Trini’s her anchor,” Billy pauses for a moment, flipping back around to face Kim. “She grounds you, right? Whenever you’re having an episode?”

“Yeah,” Kim replies with a nod.

“Right. Okay, so in the creation scrolls, there are multiple references to a sublatis ancoris. At first, I just thought is was maybe some abstract object or something. Like an ancient relic because there was never a full description of what exactly it was. But now it makes sense. It’s needs to be something that the host has a strong personal connection to. The sublatis ancoris isn’t an object. It’s a person.”

“Still not fully following. So you’re saying--”

“Trini. Trini’s the anomaly we’ve been looking for… Or at least I think she is. I’m going to need to do some more research.”

With that, Billy goes back to typing on the control panel, getting instantaneously lost within his own thoughts.

Kim takes a moment as Billy’s revelation fully sinks in. An unfamiliar feeling floods her body. A feel Kim’s hasn’t felt in well over almost a decade now.

Hope.

“How much time do you need to figure it out?” Jason asks breaking the silence between the three of them.

“Not sure. Maybe thirty minutes? An hour at most?”

“Think you can hold on for that long?” Jason looks towards Kim with a newfound sense of purpose.

Kim runs her hands through her hair and lets out a long exhale of breath. “No clue. But I’m sure as hell am gonna try.”

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Kim takes her time walking from the quarry into town. Not that she really has much of it to spare, but yet still, she can’t bring herself to move any faster than a brisk walk.

As Kim moves one familiar place to another, she takes the time to fully appreciate her surrounding. Etching every inch to her memory as if this might be the last time she ever step foot in these places ever again.

Yes, thanks to sheer genius that is Billy, there’s a chance that it might not be the case. But still, in all honesty, that’s all it is…

A chance.

In the meantime, Kim’s destiny awaits.

As Kim rounds the corner, turning onto main street, she starts to notice the sheer stillness of everything. No cars. No people. Not even the ambient sounds of nature.

Absolutely nothing.

And it’s beyond unnerving.

A pronounced chill runs straight down Kim’s spine, causing her to shove her hands into her pockets, wrapping her leather jacket around her body. She slows down her pace, eyes darting around, as her heartbeat starts to spike.

There’s still nothing… And yet, Kim is absolutely certain she isn’t alone.

Kim stops short, only 200 yards away from the deserted Krispy Kreme, and nervously runs her hands through her hair. She knows she needs to go further. Through those doors and into the proverbial belly of the beast. But for some reason, she can’t seem to will her feet to move.

So Kim stands there for a moment or two, simply staring down her destiny.

Then--

“KIMBERLY ANN HART!”

The singular voice slices through the silence, instantly pulling Kim out of the depths of her thoughts. She knows that voice. It’s the one, solitary voice that she’s be craving to hear, ever since she left the safety of the ship.

It’s Trini’s voice.

Kim slowly turns around to find the small latina racing towards her at a breakneck speed with clearly visible trails of tears streaming down her face.

“T? What are you--”

But before Kim can finish her sentence, Trini lips savagely attack, swallowing the rest of her words. Kim’s hands automatically snake their way into Trini’s short, sleek locks, pulling her closer, as years upon years worth of unspoken emotions pour out between the two of them.

It’s the type of kiss that Kim’s been desperately dreaming of ever since she left Angel Grove.

It’s pure and utter forgiveness.

After what feels like a lifetime, Trini pulls back and suddenly--

SLAP.

Kim’s hand moves up to the side of her face as she lets out a light laugh in surprise. “Are you ever gonna stop slapping me?”

“Are you ever gonna stop being an idiot?” Trini fires back giving Kim a slight two handed shove in the chest and then wraps Kim up in a hug. She leans her head on Kim’s shoulder, taking the moment to relish the closeness of their bodies.

“Trini, I’m--”

“Did you mean it?” Trini cuts Kim off as she pulls out the letter from her back pocket of her jeans.

“Every word.”

Tears whelm up in Trini’s eyes upon these words as a nerve laced smile spreads across her lips. “I love you too, Princess.”

Kim can’t help but lean in and capture Trini’s lips again as she feels matching tears start to pool in the corners of her own eyes. She heart swells to sizes that she never thought would ever being achieve again in her lifetime.

And for just a moment, Kim forgets it all. Where they are… Who they’re preparing for… And, of course, what’s to come…

All that exists is Trini, there within her arms, freely giving her the one and one thing only she never thought she’d have again.

Love.

But the moment passes. And Kim, once again, is brought back to the harsh reality of their situation.

Kim gently migrates her lips upwards, peppering Trini’s jawline with a series of light loving kisses, ending when she reaches the smaller latina’s ear lobe. She replaces her lips with her fingers, tucking back a loose strand of Trini’s hair and then matches Trini’s smile. “Did the boys fill you in? Do you--”

Trini lifts a finger to Kim’s lips, instantaneously hushing the raven haired girl. She reaches into her jean pocket, produces the sabertooth necklace, and starts to unclasp it. “Turn around.”

Kim does as she’s told, pushing her hair aside so Trini has clear access. She feels Trini’s fingers dance against the back of her neck as the familiar weight of the necklace once again settles on her chest.

“You’ve got this, Princess.” Trini finishes clasping the necklace and then lays her hand against the sabertooth tiger pendant. “I’ll be right there with you. Okay?”

Trini gives Kim one more gently kiss on the lips. But this kiss isn’t a goodbye kiss. No. It’s a promise. A promise that Trini means every word that she just uttered.

That this time around, Kim won’t be alone.

Kim nods, unable to fully find her words. She swallows down her bubbling emotions, and then with a newfound sense of determination, heads straight for the Krispy Kreme.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

The instant Kim steps foot into the Krispy Kreme, she feels it start. The all too familiar sense of rage and anger. It courses through her veins, quickly overpowering all her thoughts.

But unlike every time before, Kim doesn’t fight it. Instead, she simply stands there, waiting for it to fully overtake it.

A moment or two passes, and then--

Green.

Kim finds herself once again standing on the shoreline, overlooking the vast sea of emerald nothingness. It calls to her, like an itch begging to be scratched.

Kim takes one more sobering breath and then with her hand wrapped firmly around the sabertooth pendant, she finally gives into the urge and steps into the void.

#trimberly #trini x kimberly #trini #cranscott #billy cranston #jason scott #kimberly hart #power rangers #power ranger 2017 #fanfic #ao3

28 notes · View notes

coloringmysensescherryred · 6 years

Text

2017

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? I went to Japan, graduated college, started teaching English in South Korea, and dated a Korean guy - a year full of traveling and adventures!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Last year I had two resolutions - eat better so I didn’t feel like I was gonna shit myself so often, and to stop looking for love and let it find me. TBH I followed them both - shoutout to Korea for helping me with them! Korea’s food is just much better on my internal pipes in terms of health, and the boyfriend thing kinda just happened. I’m more proud of myself for ending it when I wasn’t happy but I wasn’t forcing any sort of relationship, it happened organically; so I’m pleased that I stuck to my guns.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope! Most of my friends aren’t even married yet! (Not that you can’t have a baby without being married but ya know.)

4. Did anyone close to you die? No, thank god.

5. What countries did you visit? Japan and Korea!

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? I would like to have more confidence to straight-up tell people when they are doing things that make me mad or irritate me or that I don’t like. That is my new years resolution this year.

7. What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? March 23rd - the day I got my email saying I got into Fulbright! and June 7th - the day I left for Korea for a full year.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Fucking picking up my entire life and moving to Korea on my own. Like I have so many friends here in my program, but I was basically coming alone because I knew that I would be separate from them when we went to our placements after six weeks.

9. What was your biggest failure? I don’t know, I felt like I succeeded in all the ways that mattered? I guess my biggest “failure” was confessing my feelings to my crush and him having to let me down because he had just gotten out of a serious relationship and wasn’t ready (altho I think he did like me tbh). So all things considered, that is a pretty good track record for an important year.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nope!

11. What was the best thing you bought? Netflix?? I had had it for like six months before Korea buutttt it has been a fucking lifesaver for me abroad. It’s a way to hear English from native mouths when I live in a homestay and don’t get to speak English with native speakers that often. It’s also great to do on traveling (like on trains and buses). Bless up to a great monthly investment.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? BURG, aka @officialff7remake. Homeboy was there for me when I was freaking out about MP or thesis or boys and just to pal around and drink with. The tightest of homies and I can’t thank him enough. <3

13. Whose behavior made you appalled? I guess my Korean ex, Huijae? He literally had never dated ANYONE before me, Korean or otherwise, and he while he meant well, he had no emotional intelligence and really did things that bugged me and patronized me and was trying to be manipulative? and I didn’t need that shit? So I got out of that relationship after holding back my own feelings for too long and I’m so much happier and I don’t really talk to him anymore (he has texted a few times after we broke up to ask if he could come visit my host family because he “missed them” *eye roll* but i haven’t let him and he goes off to military service in like two weeks so I think i’m in the clear).

14. Where did most of your money go? FOOD. I literally just buy food in Korea. Oh, and train tickets to go to Seoul or wherever.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? IT by Stephen King. I was fucking so hyped about it and luckily its release date in Korea was the same as in America so I saw it the night it came out! Also, obvi Fulbright and teaching in Korea. :)

16. What song will always remind you of 2017? 빨간맛 by Red Velvet and DNA by BTS! Two songs that I have heard OVER AND OVER in korea and I still love them.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? I’m a. happier (or about the same - I was done with first sem and my thesis and had gone to Japan so I was probs p happy back then too), b. thinner! (I have lost like 10 or 12 lbs in Korea - wasn’t trying to but the food is just less fattening I think, and I walk more and go to an aerobics class like 3 or 4 times a week!), and c. richer! I’m not rich rich by any means but I have more money from fulbright than I was making as a waitress. :)

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Idk - I did really what I wanted second sem of school, like hanging with MP and drinking and having spontaneous fun, and saw all the people I wanted to before I left for Korea, but I guess I wish I had done more solo trips in Korea? I want to do more before second sem starts too, and I want to visit my friends in their respective cities more because I didn’t get to do that so much in the fall because of my stupid fucking ex always coming to my town and taking up every literal weekend. I wish I was joking about that but it was bad.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Spend less time napping! I like naps but then I feel like i miss out on things, as well as have trouble falling asleep at decent times on school nights. Also, I wish I had spent less time being miserable about my relationship and ended it earlier. I gotta put myself the fuck first this year.

20. How did you spend Christmas? I spent an early Christmas on the 23rd with 6 Fulbright friends in Gwangju, and ended up getting drunk and dancing at the airbnb with all the other tenants for the night! It was really fun. I then spent actual Christmas eve and day at a hotel with my host fam and close family friends, just seeing the ocean (in the freezing cold) and eating seafood stew. I was glad to be with them but I missed home SO fucking much during that time. I did Skype my fam on Christmas eve morning so I saw them a little!

21. Did you fall in love in 2017? I don't know if I can call it love, but I had a serious crush that was more than just infatuation with a guy in my last sem of college. I didn’t know what I wanted because I was leaving America and he was still a sophomore but I just knew that I could see us together, and it didn’t work out but I still have hope for the future. And with my Korean ex, it wasn’t love at all but I did like him so there’s that?

22. What was your favorite TV program? In terms of things that I watched in 2017 that I really liked? Breaking Bad, Dark, Stranger Things season 2, and Rupaul’s Drag Race!

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? My ex? Yeah, it’s petty, but whenever I talk about him or see his picture I get mad. I guess that only half counts on this bc I didn’t know him this time last year? But I don’t hate anyone else.

24. What was the best book you read? It by Stephen King. That thing is a fucking masterpiece.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Sam Smith, biiiiitch. His newest album is all amazing and I slept on him for too long! Like I knew he was good but this new album is amazing.

26. What did you want and get? I wanted Fulbright and I got it!

27. What did you want and not get? I wanted to be with aforementioned crush but it was bad timing. Win some, lose some, live & learn.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? I CAN’T CHOOSE

29. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Going through second sem of senior year knowing I had a job after graduation?

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? it has changed a little since coming to Korea in order to try and not stand out so much? I have switched to more solid color tops rather than lots of prints, and I dress more demurely? Like less cleavage showing because that’s how koreans do (not that I am against it, but I’m just tryna fit in).

31. What kept you sane? Sydney, my best friend in the entire world. (This was my answer from last year and the year before that and the year before that AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT but it still holds true) also everyone in the sv discord chat still AND natalie of course of course

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? All the drag queens from Drag Race but especially Trixie & Katya? Ummm also BTS but what is new. ;)

33. What political issue stirred you the most? everything trump and his administration do and the net neutrality repeal. :(

34. Who did you miss? I miss my dogs and my mom and my sister and Brian and Cannon and grammy and my MP friends. <3 Being in Korea away from them has been really hard sometimes. 35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. If you really want something, strive for it. Keep your expectations low, but believe in yourself and what you are capable of shining through and getting you what you really want. <3

36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. “don’t you get lost in nostalgia, no” - Lost in Nostalgia, The Maine

“take me with you / cause even on your own, you are not alone” - Portugal, Walk the Moon

#personal #quiz #survey #2017 #me

1 note · View note

runawaykanine-blog · 7 years

Text

The Beginning (pt. 2)

~ thread with @gruntadminloch, continued from here ~

~~~

Guzma, however, did laugh. A deep chuckle that sent shivers down young Rodens spine. He cleared his throat and continued, answering Lochs question the best he could. “I-I’ve heard many stories of your gang from all over Alola, sir. I was here on a mission to investigate criminal activity with my unit, but once I heard enough I began to admire you and your team. I heard that you fight to abolish unfair laws and traditions on these islands, you help young Alolans who never got a chance in life, among other things, and…” He took another deep breath. “While I wasn’t born into poverty or gang violence, I do know what it’s like to live every day feeling like I deserve better, and–” Roden was cut off by a fist colliding with his back, winding him, and the female grunt roaring at him viciously. “THE FUCK D'YOU KNOW ‘BOUT ANY OF THIS, HOMEBOY?! YOU A HALF BREED AND A RAT. BETCHA BEEN EATIN’ OUT A SILVER DISH YA WHOLE LIFE WHILE WE BEEN STRUGGLIN’ TO FIND SCRAPS!!” Eventually her male counterpart stepped in to restrain her and calm her down, not because he was concerned for the boy, but because he’d spotted how Guzma was glaring at her so disapprovingly. After a moment Roden got to his feet again, rubbing the places he’d been punched. Guzma looked him up and down, before gesturing silently for him to continue. Roden breathed slowly. “The truth is, sir…never in my life have I wanted to be in the army. My father, a haole and a military man, forced me to begin training when I was very small, distanced me from my sickly mother…eventually sent me away to Kanto against my will. I trained for two years in that hell. I saw things I can never unsee, I was abused and treated like garbage, that I wasn’t worth a damn and my skills were disposable at best.” Guzma listened, tapping one foot on the ground slowly. “I came back just last week on this mission, only to find out my mother had died of her illness. She was the last person I had on this earth who cared about me, and now she’s gone, and I never got to say goodbye.” …at some point during his speech, he’d become more flustered, growing angry at himself but never letting the tears flow. He still stood perfectly straight, barely moving a muscle. “I blame my father, and I will never forgive him. He taught me ever since I was young, that sentiments make me weak, and that without people to lose, life will be easier for me, but now that I have nobody left…I believe the opposite is true. I believe that we’re stronger in numbers; I’ve seen it, I’ve seen what a pack of mediocre wolves can do in the field versus one skilled wolf. A pack is the only way to survive. A strong pack comes out on top and gets what it wants. I know a strong pack when I see one, sir. From what I’ve seen and heard, you’d die for each other. I want so desperately to be a part of it. I’ll do anything to prove my loyalty to you, sir. Anything.”

… Guzma took a good few minutes to think long and hard about what he’d heard. He cast a few glances at Loch, as if looking for a second opinion on the matter, until finally, he sighed through his nose and spoke. “Well, kid, ya should write a damn novel.” It was sarcastic, but in a less degrading tone than before. “…ugh, I’m gonna regret this but…from now on, you’ll be known as Grunt R.” The two grunts gawked, jaws dropping simultaneously. Roden’s eyes lit up. “BUT.” All three flinched. “…until you’ve proven yaself t'me, you’ll be under strict supervision, y'understand? Can’t have ya runnin’ off or doin’ no stupid shit. Obviously you ain’t used to life on the street. We’ll have t'get ya accustomed to that if you wanna be a true member of Skull.” Guzmas eyes drifted up to his guard. “Loch. I want you t'keep an eye on 'im. Teach 'im the rules an’ make sure he knows what we do an’ how we do it.” The flabbergasted grunts tried to interject, stuttering and arguing. “B-but Boss, he’s a rat!! Ya can’t jus’ let someone like him loose in here, he’ll cause an uproar, c'mon Bo–” “SHUT UP.” Guzmas voice echoed through the walls. “This kid, whether ya like it or not, is with us now, so shut up, or get out.” His gaze was like thunder, and the grunts whimpered as they both left the room. Roden, despite trying to look disciplined, was grinning. “Sir, you have no idea how much this means to me, how much of an honour–” Guzma stopped him by holding up a hand. “First rule of adressin’ the Boss; don’t, unless asked.” Roden bit his tongue, before nodding and saluting. “Yes, sir.” Guzma rubbed the bridge of his nose, sighing. “So, Loch, take R to get fitted for a uniform, an’ show 'im to the sleepin’ quarters.” Roden turned to Loch, eyes still wide with happiness.

#🐾 ᴏɴ ɢᴜᴀʀᴅ ᴅᴜᴛʏ 🐾 ~ ic #man mobile really stepped up its game with formatting #im impressed for once

10 notes · View notes

maybenexttimeff · 7 years

Text

12 part 2.

We are sitting on the bed side by side, Iv'e got so much rules on my mind to state in front of him. "Rule number 8, you need to spend your time more with me than with your homeboys" he looks tired so I scaring him to death "CHRIS" he open his eyes wide "Wouhhh" he is so funny looking at, kissing him next to his lips "baby are you listening to me?" he is nodding with his eyes half shot "Mmm" I love my rules "Rule number 9, you won't have girls with you in your videos, if you want a character I'm the address to come to" I know he is half asleep but I'm giving him all this stupid overprotective rules so he know how I feel when he is so protective over me, don't get me wrong I love that about him but sometimes he doing to much. "baby I think that's just too much" looking at him and acting surprised "and that's only the beginning of my rules" he clearing his throat "Forget about my rules baby, my only rule is just love me, be loyal and faithful to me that's all I need from you, stay just like you are" look at my baby telling me what I want to hear so he can go to sleep "but yet no guys in your life expect me" laying my head on his chest "baby, as long as I got you I don't need guys" his hand rubbing my back "good" . I love him so much and sometimes it feels like he is doing everything good but me just awful at everything when it comes to a relationship.

my favorite thing is to lay my head over Chris's chest, just to hear his heart beat, to feel surrounded by him, his hand on my back. The best feeling in the whole world, his chest is moving slowly up and down, he is breathing slowly and I can tell he is calm and relaxed. I feel like we are a couple of years, we are together all the time, and if we are not together so we make sure to talk on the phone for hours. I never believed in true love, never thought about having my own family, a husband and kids, when I was with Shai it always felt like a far dream, to have my own family. and now I can see my future with Chris. we have been through so much yet. with Shai it felt like there's no time, it was like god is laughing at me and saying to me 'fuck you'. every time we kissed I felt disgusted and now I'm addictive to Chris's kisses and to his touch. before Chris I couldn't think about Shai or a male touching me. look at the fate. I'm here, with my man in the bed, even when I never thought it would happen it did, I'm not a virgin anymore and it was the best experience of my life with my biggest love. we are not together even a half year but I love him in a way that I thought was possible. I love everything about him, even the things I don't like, I love. ugh look at me feeling some type of way about my man. I thank god for him every minute of my life. I know that I talked with him about what happened to me with Shai and yes it really helped me to let it out but still. sometimes I feel scared when Chris touching me, when we fight I'm scared of him, I'm scared that he'll turned out like Shai and beat me, I don't know what to think, I play like everything is okey and cool but I'm sick of people thinking that I'm their property, touching me when I don't feel like it, and when Chris does it, it catch me unprepared but I'm trying my best to show him that everything is just fine. Chris suggested me to go to a psychologist, and I don't feel like it but I think I'll try it, so I called to a woman and she suppose to come today to Chris's house.

before I felt it I knocked out, like every time that I woke up I'm pulling my hand over Chris's place but this time he isn't in bed, I sat down so quick and got panicked, looking around the room and seeing Chris sitting on his couch in this room looking at me "babe I'm here don't worry about it" he said that while getting closer to me, he is now sitting on the edge of the bed facing me "you good shorty?" nodding my head feeling his hand over my cheek, my eyes closed. just to feel his touch clamming me. breathing out all the worry that I had. I don't know what I'll do without him, I think I'll die. "what's time is it anyway?" opening my eyes and seeing Chris is smiling "it's late, at first I wanted to wake you up but then you looked so peaceful so I didn't" giving him slight smile "thank you Papi" whispering to him. "you looked at me sleeping?" he nodded his head "I sat there just for eight minutes but if you asking me I could sat there and look at you all day. you are so perfect baby" bringing his palm to my lips and kissing him. looking at his eyes for a little while and he got good eyes, I feel in heaven just to look at his eyes "I love you" I told him and he barely could hear me "what is it?" he suppresses his smile "I said that I love you baby" I said it without confidence, his thumb rubbing my bottom lip and his full attention is looking at my lips "I love you too my lover, every time that you telling me this my heart skip a beat" kissing his thumb "you are the one who deserve my love" before I knew I felt him grabbing my face with his hands and feeling his lips on mine, it feels so good.

Dr. Weiss is here, I told her everything that has happened to me, about Shai and all my issues in life and I needed to listen to Chris, he is a bi-polar that's for sure, first he is telling me 'you don't need to throw your money on some stranger and tell him about your private life, you have me' and next he is telling me 'you should talk with someone professional, he can help you' so at first I really talked to him and thank god for my man he really helped me but than I thought what a professional person would suggest me. so I called Dr. Weiss to meet her, I came with an open mind. as far as I told her my issue she gave me her full attention, and to be honest all her professional suggestions are annoying me. I hate all this, this idea is dumb and we just 10 minutes into this meeting. I wanted Chris to be with me at the room but she said it's better if now, so I can feel 100% comfortable to talk about everything and to be honest she is right. Chris talked with her and told her what's going on with me, he told her what he see from his side and she adopted his information. "Okey Robyn, you are not the first and not the last woman who has been through something like this, every woman has her story, you got harsh one that's for sure, I listened to every thing you said and wrote it down" crossing my legs, my right leg over the other, she got me nervous. "listen to what I'm telling you, yes he used to beat you up, but just because he was wrong not you. stop blaming yourself. stop thinking less of yourself, you are an amazing woman, he didn't done that because it was you, he is sick and he'll do it to every other woman. you was just the victim. from what Chris told me and from what you telling me I think you got something called 'Dissociative Identity Disorder - DID'." I think I lost her "let me explain, it means that you are Repressing all what you have been through, you feel insecure about everything and everyone. you feel like you can trust nobody. I don't know about you but this sign sometimes bound interference in memory, you feel hard to express what you going or has gone througt" damn, she is good. all what she is saying is scaring the hell out of my soul because that's really what I'm going through, I feel like I can trust no one, I don't know to express my feelings, and all what she said is just me. she is good tho "there's some sort of difference things that can help you through this, one, I need you to stay the hell away from this person who did this to you, make sure you are safe. And I think you've got Chris so that's a good thing, keep Chris close by. he is a very positive thing in your process to heal your soul." I think I've got tears in my eyes, the only place that I feel safe is with Chris, he is all what I need. my guardian angel. "two, if you want we can see each other more or even if you feel comfortable to talk with Chris about it, let everything out, you need to settle your mind. to be sure you remember everything" nodding my head and wiping my cheek "three, it's difficult level, if you think about marriage or having kids one day you need to be sure that your guy you are doing this with he is the right person. and for having sex, after you have going through something big like this it's a big deal so take all the time you need, every person dealing with things differently, so just keep yourself comfortable and safe" nodding my head, thanking Dr. Weiss and sitting in Chris's office alone to think about everything she said, yes most of the things she said she was right, but Yes I know that I'm ready for Chris in anyway possible, he suffers a lot from me, no matter what's going on with me he is always there for me. understanding and welcoming me. he is my big love and I think I made him suffer with this no sex. I feel like I can handle my man, to feel him inside me, I want it. now.

Me and Chris laying in his leaving room watching TV, my leg over his leg and my head over his chest. my hand sliding down his body and rest on his dick, he is full dressed and so am I "what you doing?" Chris asking like he afraid to touch me, he protects me so much, even from himself. "I want you" Chris is numb I can tell "I'm yours from the first day we met" licking my lips "I want you like really want you, for now to make out" Chris's hand pulling my face up so I can look at him "are you sure?" nodding my head, damn if he only knew how sure I am, I want to make out so I'll knew after if I'm really ready for his dick. now he is laying next to me on his stomach, half of him on top of me, his hand slipped down to my pants, he got his hand inside my pants, his thumb is against my clit, He teases me, and he slips his finger into me with painfully slow pleasure. "we supposed just to make out" I'm moaning, Chris stoped and isn't moving, his finger is still inside of me "and I thought that is what we were doing, or not?" his breath is hard "no. no sex for now" moaning, the feeling of his finger inside me gave me so much pleasure "What?" I think he is mad "no sex..." , "no sex ugh?" he pulls his finger out of me and out of my pants "take", he traveling with his finger on my lips, and I'm testing myself. he push his finger into my mouth slowly just like he did when he slipped his finger inside me. he's is getting on top of me, placing himself between my legs, and here we are laying on this big sofa when all I feel is his bulge against my sensitive pussy. He squeezed into me and rubbed against me. "that is what you want?" he whispering and moving his waist against my pussy. "yes" I'm granted. his hand under my shirt, and before I know I'm shirtless. his hand on my nipple and his teeth rubbing my jaw line. "Do you know how much you makes me horny,Reina?" His voice is hoarse and his waist moves up against me. I'm opening my mouth to say something but I failed. I'm moaning loudly, he traps my lips, biting my bottom lip and drown with his Tongue inside my mouth. as he kiss me my hand traveling up his shoulders and the other hand on his hair, he is moaning and looking at me "ughhhh" , "you love when I touch you?" I'm asking quietly. he stop rubbing against me, looking at me like he didn't understand what I'm asking him "of course, I love so much when you touch me, Robyn. your touching is like a feast for a man who is starving" I think I'm going to die for loving him so much. he kneels between my legs in front of me to take his shirt off, he is now so close to me "touch me" omg my man. I'm pulling my hand to his chest and touching his chest' hair, he is following me and breathing hard, I'm leaning toward him and kissing his chest, my hands moving to his shoulders, feeling his hard line of his muscles. "I want you" he whispers, that's a green light for me. my fingers moving to his hair , pulling his head aback so I can kiss his lips . he is moaning and sitting. ripping my pants off me and at the same time pulling his pants down with his boxer too. "The penetration stage" he whispers and filling me with lightning speed. "Ughhhh" I'm moaning and he froze up inside me , holding my face with his two hands "I love you mi Reina" he whispers and slowly, very carefully make love to me until I'm falling apart, screaming his name and wrapped around him, don't want to let him go. I love him

#chris brown #chrisbrown #Chrianna #chrianna ff #chroyalty #chrianna story #chriannaff #Robyn Fenty #royalty brown #maybe next time #maybenexttime #ff #teambreezy #team breezy #rihanna #navy #Rihanna Navy

33 notes · View notes

blackrosesfanfic · 7 years

Text

Chapter 126

Cammie

Trey had to go meet and greet with his fans. He wanted me to go but I wanted to rest. Everyone left me alone in Trey's dressing room. Chris said that Trey doesn't have anyone in here but Rollie. Am I the only one finds that strange? Trey and Rollie chilling on his tour. Who would have put that together?

"Cammie?"

"Hmm?" I say sitting up.

MiMi comes over to the couch. "I'm about to leave you, Baby Daddy. You good?"

I frown. "No, I'm not good. Why are you leaving me?"

"My boobs hurt." she says grabbing them.

"You fake."

She sits on the edge of the couch. "Don't be like that."

I lay back. "Bye."

"I'll be back. You won't miss me."

"I will cause Trey is going to be on stage." I pout.

"Half of the time. Sevyn here. I'll send her in here, k?"

I roll my eyes. "I said bye."

She hugs me then leaves out of the room. I wanted to give her a hard time cause she was the reason I was late earlier. Now she is leaving. I didn't even have to wait for her. Little bitch. I close my eyes. No more than 5 seconds later I hear someone come into the room.

"Oh excuse me. Wrong room."

I open my eyes. It's a lady closing the door. She had on a hooker dress with a bad wig on her head. I hope that's a damn wig. I would be ashamed for her of it's her hair. I stare at the door. She hadn't closed it all the way.

"Who is that in your room?" the lady says.

"What?" Trey says.

The lady sounded betrayed. "That's fucking disrespectful."

Trey walks into the room looking stressed. I won't say anything about that girl. Trey smiles at me as if he didn't know I were here. He takes his shirt off.

"I got so much shit to tell you about." he says coming to the couch. "I showed a few of the fans the baby. They want to see Lane."

"Take him on stage."

Trey's face lights up. "I didn't think about that. I'll have to go find him."

I smile. "He is with his buddy Drake. I didn't know he liked Drake so much."

"More than he likes Chris." Trey says hovering over me. "I miss you. I still miss you cause I know you leaving. When are you leaving?"

"In the morning. I had to drive. I mean, I didn't drive. But I wasn't cleared for flying."

He kisses my lips. "Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me what the doctor said. Your face is telling me you lying. I can call the doctor myself and ask for an update. They will tell me."

I sigh. "I saw a high risk doctor. They want to induce my labor."

Trey stands up. "For what?"

"Because the baby was facing the wrong direction and they believe that if I wait to go into labor I might deliver at the house and/or a breech baby."

"What's that?"

"When the butt comes first. Laura has been massaging my stomach everyday to make sure the baby turns and stay that way."

Trey is pissed. "Why would you keep this from me?"

"Cause I didn't want you to stop me from coming."

"I don't care about not seeing you if that means a healthy baby."

I get sad suddenly. "Yeah but I wanted to see you. I hate being home all the time in the damn bed with babysitters. It's depressing."

"I'm glad to see you, Baby." Trey says kissing me. "I'm sorry. I know you restless. But 5 more weeks. When are they planning on inducing your labor?"

"That's the thing. It's either the day after you come home or the day before."

Trey blows. "Well, then I'll come home early. A day early."

"Don't cancel anything. They haven't set a date."

"Damn." Trey says sitting down. "We cutting close with this shit. As long as I'm there."

I kiss his shoulder. "You will be there. Don't worry."

He turns his head. "I miss you so much at night."

"That's encouraging."

"No." he starts laughing. "You sleeping next to me. I dream of waking up to your face."

"Awh." I say kissing his shoulder.

He rubs my stomach. "We are going to be just fine."

I look at my stomach. "The doctor suggested I take this trip."

"Good." he says kissing my stomach.

"Tremaine, I ordered about 10 books the other day and I read 5 of them."

He turns his head to me with his eyebrows raised. "You read?"

I laugh. "Oh no, I'm sorry never do I do such a thing."

"Lane let's you read?"

"Yeah. I read the books to him. Sometimes he will bring his own and read it."

Trey chuckles. "He reads?"

"He think he knows how to read. He has a good imagination. He can tell me what his book is about."

"I don't deserve you." Trey says repositioning himself on the couch.

"Yeah, you need a woman that will abuse your son and cheat on you with your homeboys and their friends."

He nods. "One that is stank and dumb."

"I mean I can stop washing, cut my hair, and pop some pills."

"You do that. All of it."

I reach into my bag and get his gift for today. "I got you something."

He sits back on the couch after taking the box. "What is this?"

"A tracker."

"Like a... I'm not wearing a damn tracker."

I put my foot in his face. "Why the hell not?"

He grabs my foot then opens my legs. He comes in my face. I smile at him. It's not a real tracker. It was only meant to be a joke. He took it how I thought he would. I reach into my bag taking out the necklace that I did intend on giving him. I put it around his neck. He looks down at it then starts kissing me. His watch goes off. He sighs.

"What's that for?"

"I have 10 minutes until I go on stage but I want to find Lane."

I kiss him. "Lane is not going to talk in front of those people."

"They only want to see him."

"Maybe if you make them be quiet and turn the lights down. He will be nice."

He stands up. "Can you find Sam and tell him?"

"No, I'll find Lane and bring him to the stage."

"Okay."

Chris

Sevyn rolls her eyes. She told me that she is leaving with Cammie. It's some fucking bullshit as reason she leaving. Bitch don't know how to act and Sevyn tired of it. I tried to talk her into staying. That didn't work in my favor. Yelling and making demands don't do shit when a woman made up her mind. I try again anyway.

"Sevyn."

"Don't come over here talking about the same shit."

I turn around looking at Lane. He has a mic hitting it on the floor. I stop him from banging it on the ground. He gives me a threatening look. I jump at him. He thinks that he 6 foot tall. Little bad ass. He draws the mic back about to hit me.

"Look there go Drake." I say really fast.

"Way." he says turning around.

I take the mic. "He right there."

Lane walks over to him. "Hey, Friend."

"Hey, Lane." Drake smiles.

Lane cuts his eyes at me. "No, Chris."

"Shut up." I say sitting down.

"Dra, go Nicki house?"

Drake scrunches up his face. "Who is Nicki?"

"Nicki Naj." Lane says.

"What do you know about Nicki Minaj little nigga?" I laugh.

"Why are you going to Nicki's house, Lane?" Drake asks smiling.

Lane's bad ass had an answer. "With Trey Songz."

Drake laughs. "Oh you going to the concert with Nicki Minaj and Trey Songz."

"Yeah." Lane nods.

"Call Nicki." I tell Drake.

He does it. "Hello, Beautiful."

"Hi, Aubrey. I can't really talk."

"What you answer the phone for then?" I ask getting closer to the phone.

She snickers. "It was a reflex. Didn't think about it. Is that Chris?"

I take the phone from Drake and give it to Lane. "Lane is on the phone. Lane talk to Nicki."

"No, no." Lane says giving it back.

"He was talking about you Nicki." Drake says. "Lane, where you and Trey Songz going?"

Lane finds the candy on the table. "I eat. I eat, okay."

"Lane?"

"Hmm?" he says looking guilty.

Drake repeats his question. "You going to the concert?"

"I go Nicki house."

"Nicki? Who is Nicki?"

Lane gives me some candy. "Nicki Naj.

She giggles. "Oh lord."

"Dra, you go Nicki house?" Lane asks again.

"With who?" Drake shrugs.

Lane falls for the trick again. "With Trey Songz. I not go to Chris house."

I laugh. "He calls the concert a house."

"Hey, Lane, I found you." Cammie says walking in.

"Is that my cute ass? Hey, Love." Nicki says.

Cammie comes over. "Hey, why do you got my son talking about you?"

"Girl, that little nigga never talks to me. He is mean. He told them just now that he wasn't gonna talk to me. Little devil."

"Lane, say hey to Nicki." Cammie says pulling him to the phone.

Lane puts candy in Cammie's hand. "Hello, Nicki."

"Hello, Lane."

"Bye, Nicki." Lane says really fast as he hangs the phone up. "No talk to Nicki."

I stand up. "Cammie tell your girl not to leave."

She rolls her eyes at me. "She needs space Chris."

"Man, you are just like her."

"That's why you with her right?" She says grabbing Lane's hand. "Come on, Baby. Your daddy is looking for you."

"You a bitch sometimes, Cammie."

She turns her head towards me. She looks at Lane then pull him out of the room. I glance over at Drake. Yo, that wasn't supposed to come out like that.

"That was mature."

"Shut up, bitch." I snap.

He smiles a little then walks out of the room. I wasn't calling Cammie a bitch. But I shouldn't have said that in front of her son. Damn, Chris. I fucked up my chances of having someone to back me up. I'm sure Sevyn would leave faster now. I go into my dressing room and sit next to Sevyn. She hasn't talked to Cammie which is good.

"Can we do something tonight? Before you leave?"

"I'm not going to be gone forever. Don't try to act interested in me now that I'm going to Cammie's."

I rub my face. "I'm sorry."

She sits up fast then turns to me. "For what?"

"I don't know. Doing other stuff."

"You don't even listen. I explained it to you."

I'm stuck. Did she really? "I'm trying to make you stay."

"Don't apologize for shit you don't understand."

"Tell me again."

"No, because you making me mad."

I put my hand on her thigh. "Let's make a pact to not argue..."

"I'm not cause of you don't some stupid shit I'm telling you how I feel. You got me thinking if you can be trusted to be alone. Why is it so important that I stay. Why do we have to do something tonight?"

"I don't think that much." I say standing up.

She sits back. "I'm not dealing with this shit from you."

"What?"

"Just get out of my face."

I turn around halway to the door then go back to the couch. I jump on it. She screams then hits me. I fall on top of her then start kissing her stomach. I kiss her chin then her lips. I'm trying to be better. All of this is not me being better. I'm mad because she wants to spend time with her friend. I'm jealous. I heard her reason for going back with Cammie. Teyana has to go do something and MiMi talks about how Cammie is really bored and sad not being able to leave the house. I heard all of that. I didn't want to listen before. I no longer want to play the game of making her feel guilty.

"I'll stop acting stupid about you going to Cammie's. Can you tell me when you will be back?"

"No, cause I have trust issues. I'll surprise you."

I kiss her cheek. "Fine, I'm trying to make this last forever. I told you they last year."

"I'm listening."

"I have to go apologize to Cammie."

"Hold up. What did you do?"

I shrug. "I said something."

Sevyn gives me a look as I walk towards the door. I rather her find out from Cammie and not me. Maybe Cammie won't tell her and I'll get away with it. I'm going to be in shit if she tells Buggiz or Rollie. They take stuff too serious when it comes to Cammie. Hell everybody does. Cammie and Lane are sitting in the hall. As I walk up Cammie whispers something to Buggiz. Why she do that? He steps between us putting his hand up then ushering me around her.

"Damn, I can't talk to your ass?" I snap enraged.

"Don't make a scene." Buggiz says like he doesn't know me.

I knock his hand out the way then go about my business. Fuck Cammie.

8 notes · View notes

gossipgirl2019-blog · 6 years

Text

Jerrika Karlae Decided To Rap And It's Working: "U Ain't Slime Enough" Rapper Talks Music, Relationships & More

New Post has been published on http://gr8gossip.xyz/jerrika-karlae-decided-to-rap-and-its-working-u-aint-slime-enough-rapper-talks-music-relationships-more/

Jerrika Karlae Decided To Rap And It's Working: "U Ain't Slime Enough" Rapper Talks Music, Relationships & More

“THESE BITCHES AIN’T SLIME ENOUGH!” became a defining moment and lyric from Young Thug‘s inaugural compilation album, Slime Language. Reading it now, you should instantly recall Jerrika Karlae’s slightly coarse, sing-song-yell of the lyric, relayed with so much passion you know she absolutely meant it. When you sing along, you likely mean it too. That’s the thing about mostly everything Jerrika Karlae does: it’s passionate, purposeful, and genuine. I gather this much from our phone conversation last week, which occurs a day before her birthday. The next day, Thug would wish her a happy birthday, and while it could have resulted in something materialistic (new clothes, jewelry, plane, whatever the case), he wrote to her: “Keep goin up up and over, I’m with u when u ain’t with yo-self kid!! I hope u become RICHER,SEXIER, SMARTER then everybody in the world.”

The fact that he wished for her to become her best self– aka richer, smarter and sexier– truly says some thing of their relationship. They’re grown.

Their relationship has been fodder for gossip blogs and Instagrammers ever since Thug himself started making waves online. After one particularly public and drama-filled break-up stint last year (and if you need me to re-hash exactly what happened, you, clearly, are -not- slime enough), the two eventually let bygones be bygones, preferring to grow and mature as a couple. Jerrika knows that they are stronger when they are together, streamlining their vision and working on their goals as a team.

One of the new goals for the YSL lovebirds is the fact that Jerrika Karlae, going by Karlae for musical purposes, is going to be a rap artist. She dipped her toe into the pool with the verse and hook on “U Ain’t Slime Enough,” but there is plenty more on the way, and it all sounds very exciting. She’s just as excited about it too– she can’t help but gush when discussing her upcoming music, which includes a very strategically-planned (I recommend reading on) collab with Rich the Kid, “Rich Bitch” and her personal favorite called “Irregular.”

The thing is, when your boyfriend is Thugger Thugger, there will be extremely high expectations for your music. The minute Karlae shared a photo of herself in the booth I set my very own expectation (sorry, not sorry Jerrika): that the music was going to be fire as fuck (!).

The thing is, too, that Karlae is all too aware of these expectations, which is why she’s taking her time. We’ve yet to receive another release from the artist since her lone appearance on Slime Season, although she has a bunch of music locked and loaded (features and producers are all friends of the YSL family– if you know, you know). While she had plans to drop a project on her recent birthday, she’s delaying it until Halloween to make sure it’s perfect.

Karlae has a vibrant, magnetic energy, even just speaking on the phone– she sounds happy, genuine, enthralled throughout our conversation. She sounds confident, too. She knows she’s stepping into unfamiliar territory when it comes to rap. She knows it’s more than just “unfamiliar” territory, in fact, it’s safeguarded, it’s cautious– because she knows people will say, “why is Thug’s girlfriend “all of a sudden” deciding to rap?”

That’s the thing. She did just decide to rap. And that’s completely okay.

—-

HotNewHipHop: Hey Karlae, this is Rose from HotNewHipHop.

Karlae: Hiiii, how’re you?

Good. What are you up to today? What’s a typical day for Karlae?

I’m justIn Atlanta, I’m usually running errands either for Thug or myself. But now that I’m an artist, my days consist of waking up, running my errands in a quick time frame and then hitting the studio usually about 8:00 everyday. Or some days I’ll go a little earlier but now, music is becoming my life so most of my days I’ll either sit at home and write stuff or I’ll go to the studio. When I’m in California, I’m usually in meetings or just different endorsements, Pretty Little Thing, Fashion Nova, all of that good stuff.

Do you and Thug live together in Atlanta?

Right now, we have a house together but we both don’t stay there. We just have a ton of furniture in here. We both have two separate condos. So, it’s both a yes and a no.

Do you guys plan on using that house when you’re officially married?

Yeah, well our family will go there. I keep some of my junk there. It’s like a storage house. We honestly have no plans for what we’re going to do as far as marriage. We’ve actually been looking for a new home. For now, we kind of keep our separate bachelorette and bachelor pads.

That’s cool. Do you find that helps with the relationship, like ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ kind of thing?

I do actually because, before we lived together, we were so young in our relationship that we went through a ton of shit and we were just growing and learning one another, but it’s like now I can appreciate the times when I’m alone or I’m away from him because I know he’s going to end up missing me if we don’t see eye to eye or we’re fed up with another. I think it’s just better for reasons like that. So, I do enjoy it because we can keep our own distance and have our own time. And he has a lot of friends. The main thing is that his homeboys are always at his fucking house. So, I love having a break from the boys, the man cave.

So, you’re not one of the girlfriends that follows him throughout the tour, like goes on the road with him.

No. So, the beginning of our relationship, me and Thug have been together for four and a half years, so the first song the world ever heard from him, me and him were together and that was a time when we were really going hard. I literally went state to state with him. You would never see Thug without Jerrika, so I feel like it changed within the last year and a half, two years and it wasn’t for a reason in particular, I got caught up doing Karlae Swimwear and then just the simplest things like keeping up with my posts or Pretty Little Thing and they give me a good check so I dedicated my time to myself.

Exactly. You have your own business.

Right. So, it wasn’t convenient for me to be following him everywhere.

Do you try to meet up with him on tour though, when he’s in random cities?

Yes. So, this is like the first tour that he’s done that I haven’t been on. I plan on going to a few dates but with me doing the music thing and my own marketing, I’m trying to figure out how it’s going to mesh because I just want to be fully ready when I hit the stage. I don’t want to give the people too much. I want to keep the anticipation building up. So, I think I’m probably going to do one date with him. But I am going to go visit him. He comes home on his off days too, so we see each other.

There’s definitely a lot of anticipation for your music. It’s been slowly building, even when you first tweeted you were in the studio, I know myself personally, I was like ‘Oh my god. I can’t wait to see what you put out.’ And then the first song was fire.

Thank you so much.

Andit’s so crazy because your debut, was “U Ain’t Slime Enough.” It became a catchphrase very quickly, it became something people say on Instagram, like a caption. It’s so caption-worthy.

I can’t believe it, because like literally when it dropped, I was so nervous. Just because I’m such a perfectionist, I’m a Virgo, so I was so pressed and I was actually telling Adryanauna [her co-manager], they not gonna like it. She was like, ‘Bitch are you serious, this is flames.’ I just feel like I’m warmed up, I’m ready now.

What was it like hearing your voice on that hook for the first time?

When I first started recording, I have a heavier voice than the average woman who has like an airy super feminine sound, so I was like man, I sound like a dude. And everybody was like your voice is so fire like you have a different sound.

It has a little bit of a raspiness to it, which is cool. You can’t confuse your voice for anyone’s voice. Your voice is unique.

Thank you. I appreciate that. So, I was so hard on myself at first and then at the end of it, I did my verse first and at the end, I was like it needs something else because I wanted Thug and Duke to get on it. I’m like Thug never did a song with me and I wanted him to like it, I wanted to be on some gang gang shit. I was like, let me go back in the booth, I took two shots of Hennessy and I just came out and was like [starts singing], “these bitches ain’t slime enough” and everybody was like, ‘Holy shit.’ So, after that, I’m like okay I know what my formula is, Hennessy, yelling and just being free. So, when I first heard my voice, I actually liked it. But I didn’t like it, until the “Slime Enough” part.

“U Ain’t Slime Enough” obviously ties in with everything Thug is about, but you weren’t going in the booth like: ‘I’m going to make a Slime record like this is just going to be for Thug.’

No, no, I did. That’s what I did. I was trying to do anything to be hip. I was like, what can I do to make Thug like it. Because if you listen to the verse, it’s kind of girly, so I wanted to make it so where it was for everybody.

Yeah. Everyone can fuck with it. So, that was the first song that you and Thug actually collaborated on?

Yeah. That’s the very first song we ever did. Actually no, I’m lying, three years ago, Me, Dolly and Dora did a song and put Thug on it. So, it’s like on his hard drive from forever ago, but it was so funny because he actually was helping me, I was saying some stupid shit. Like I said in my PAPER interview, they had been doing music way before me, so it really was like, ‘Rikka get on the track’ and I did it and I never got in the booth ever again.

That was like the first time, so now you kind of rekindled it?

Yeah and we were just joking. It was all fun and games.

Does that song have a title?

I don’t even know.

Yeah Dory and Dolly are dope too.

Yeah. They are. They’re definitely doing their thing.

So, you met Young Thug through your mom who was managing Young Scooter at the time. Did you already have Karlae Swimwear out?

Yeah. So, I met Thug, my mom was doing work for Scooter, I met him in the studio, I had actually just started Karlae Swimwear. I met him two months after I launched. I did it with a minimal budget. I didn’t have much to work with.

Did you have a following on Instagram already?

Yeah. I did. I had a following from weave and girls loved my makeup and stuff.

What year was this around?

This was around 2014. It was April.

So, around the time in your life when you met Thug, you were just focused on launching Karlae Swimwear?

Yeah. That was my main thing that I was doing was Karlae Swimwear. I was also doing work with KRS back then. They were paying me really good. That was how I made my living and then my mom invested in Karlae Swimwear. Her and Scooter helped too. He’s like a brother to me. So, I launched it, I didn’t make that much money but it was enough to live day to day and recycle my money back into the business and as time went by, me and Thug kinda built on our relationship and he started helping me. So, toward the end of the summer, my now, bestfriend, she’s a stylist now, Cece Monaco, she came on as a designer and she linked me with a manufacturer, so I had more of a budget to work with because I had Thug’s help and all of that good stuff, but my line was established way before Thug.

Did you go to school at all for that?

Yeah. So, I went to school for a year and I lived in Miami and I went to the International Art Institute there. I went for fashion merchandising and I dropped out and I came here and got an internship with Tresa Sanders. She was working and doing PR for BET at the time. Then I just kind of quit that, because I was trying to find myself. I didn’t know if I wanted to do fashion PR. I had wanted at, one time, to be a buyer. I didn’t know what I wanted to do so I came here, and it’s crazy because I met Thug the summer when I finished school. I really couldn’t find myself. I didn’t know what I wanted to do but I come from a family of entrepreneurs, my father’s side of the family is in the mortuary business. They own a number of funeral homes. It took me a minute to find myself so when I met him, things came in to fruition with Karlae Swim.

So like I said, the music is what we’re most excited for. It all started because of Thug’s infidelity?

So basically, that is not true. In my PAPER interview, I was saying that, they actually misquoted this. When Thug started changing his tone of his music, I was explaining to her [the journalist] that it was hard for me to deal with it and it taught me so much when I started doing music because it was like, Okay bro, I got a song where I’m like: ‘I cannot pay your nigga to leave me alone. If you wanna know how I do it, just ask me. P-game cold. Promise I’m not just rapping.’ And, for example, people would say, ‘You sleeping with somebody man. You cheating on Thug.’ But I took it with a grain of salt because I had to do the same thing with his music and him talking about his infidelity in front of the world. So, at first it would make me mad but when I started doing music, I understood why it was okay because it makes the music better. So they took it as, she started doing music because he was cheating but no, his infidelities did however motivate certain songs. I have songs where I went in the booth and literally shed tears not because I’m in a sad place but because…

It’s therapeutic.

Right, and I want people to listen and feel me expressing myself.

That’s crazy, when you started your music, you and Thug were already back together?

So, yeah I started doing music when we were actually on a break. I did a remix to “Relationships.” It was a hot song for the summer and that was the song that actually did…‘oh, you’re in a relationship with all these bitches. That’s what you saying?’ And he was like, ‘Karlae it’s just music, you trippin, you trippin.’ And I was like, ‘I’m going to start doing music,’ and he was just like, ‘Okay, whatever.’ I don’t think he took me serious. And I was like, ‘Jeff, can you send me the beat,’ the instrumental for “Relationships,” which is pretty fucking big because no one has the official instrumental, and he sent it to me and I recorded over it and the song was pretty good. This is so funny, I was going to drop it on his birthday, August 15th, last year, it was just like a joke, it was just for me to express myself the way he did initially, and somebody recorded it from me being on [Instagram] Live and they put it on YouTube and it got good feedback. People were hitting me like, ‘this shit dope’, ‘it hard,’ and so I’m like, maybe I need to do another song. And that’s how my journey of music kind of started.

That’s so crazy how, at first, you didn’t like the lyrical content, but then when you started making music, you realized that sometimes people just talk shit on records because it sounds good.

Right. And I wanted to be different people too so, sometimes I’ll rap about shit that has nothing to do with my life but I enjoy rapping about being a freak because maybe I want to feel spontaneous tonight. It’s different vibes and I think that, what I was trying to say was, this experience taught me that. It made it okay. So now I don’t complain because he’s like, Karlae it’s just about giving the people an imagination basically.

So, what’s the song called “I Fuck U”, when you were mad at Thug, are you actually going to release that song?

Yeah. So, the crazy thing is, “Fuck U” is not even about Thug. That’s the crazy part. They [PAPER Magazine] misquoted. “Fuck U” song is about every guy, in my past who, might say like damn I slept with her or I used to date her, I was her third boyfriend. This is for those type of niggas. Just men from my past who were shitty. I made the song because I wanted other women to feel the same way. We never have a song where we’re expressing our truth and the thing is, most women who get scrutinized in the industry, like for example, Amber Rose, she messed with this guy, she messed with this guy, but that was her choice. She didn’t do it because somebody tricked her out of her time, so I made the song with that thought because my cousin was in the studio and she was like, you know what I’m thinking about, niggas always thinking (excuse my language) they fucking us and tricking us, but really we choose to give you them the pussy and nigga I put it on you and behind closed doors, you really be feening for me. So, when she said that I was like, Woah, that need to be a song, like a girl power anthem. So, when I said it, I did talk about certain things in my life, like for example I said in one part, ‘Grip game good, I can’t put no cap on it, ya’ll doing well, make em rap about it.’ Now that’s real life. I’m saying, I’m saying I got good cootie cat and I’m making him rap about it. They took it as, she talking about Thug and I’m like honestly, I’m talking about every nigga I’ve known that ain’t shit. You thought you fucked me, but really I fucked you.

Okay. So is Young Thug going to be put on blast at all in your music?

I would say it’s going to be a good blast. I would never do anything crazy. It’s going to be the truth. Another quote I said in my song was, ‘I had a rich nigga who couldn’t shake those bitches. He played around and now he see the difference.’ Some people might take that as shade, I take that as real life. I had a rich ass boyfriend, he had a problem with these industry bitches, he couldn’t shake them and now, you know what, he shook them off and now he sees she’s much different than the other ones. So, it’s going to be real life shade.

I saw you just previewed a song with Young Thug but before that, you previewed a song with Rich the Kid called “Rich Bitch.”

Yeah. So my mom co-manages Thug. She had the idea. I was on a plane ride to LA and Rich The Kid was on the plane and I overheard him being nosy, talking about his Richard Mille. So, I’m like I know a Richard Mille is an expensive ass watch, Thug has one, so I’m like, I know how I’m going to get him to love the song, I’m going to talk about what he loves. His rich lifestyle. That’s how I came up with the hook. And my mom walked up to him and she was like, ‘my daughter is getting into music, she’s Thug girl, you and him are cool, I think you should fuck with her. You can come in and listen to her music, see if you vibe with it but we would be honored to have you on a song’ and he was like, ‘cool.’ He did it. I was so shocked because not a lot of artists who are established in the game will tell you they’ll work with someone they’ve never even heard a song. My mom called him back and was like, ‘we have a session tonight, do you think you can make it?’ He was like, ‘Yeah I’ll stop by for a second.’ So, I was like, let me just do the hook before he gets here. So I’m like, what does he like? [starts singing] “If he ain’t got a Richard Mille, then he ain’t balling,” I started flowing with it and he came in and laid his verse and left back out. Like a thief in the night.

That’s a good tactic though, ‘I’m going to rap about his watch that he really likes.’ So, when Rich The Kid got on the song, “Slime Enough” wasn’t even out, there was no proof that you couldn’t do anything at the time.

Right. I didn’t even realize that before you said that.

He just trusted that you were dope. What song are you most excited for people to hear?

My favorite song, I can’t wait for people to hear this song I got called “Irregular.” I just love it so much because it’s all me. It’s me expressing myself and how I feel about myself and not even just me, every woman in general should feel like they’re irregular. You don’t have to be rich, you don’t have to be flashy. You could just feel like you ain’t gonna tolerate shit that the average person might. You might feel like you irregular because you do your job different from everybody else. So, I just love it because every time I listen to it, it really touches me. It’s this other record I have called “Heart in A Hole.” I really love it because I just feel like it’s different. It’s completely R&B trap type of vibe. I just can’t wait for people to hear it. It’s something different. And then, just be expressing myself on the regular. I just addressed so many things that people would say about me. Of course that’s always dope.

When are you planning to release a project?

I’m planning to release October 31st, Halloween. The push back was because my visuals wouldn’t be ready in time and I didn’t want to rush, and I realized that I would be under delivering had I dropped it tomorrow, my birthday [September 18, Jerrika’s original plan]. I have this interlude called “Going Hard,” and I just talk about haters, industry shit, fake people, fake friends, relationships and I was going to release that too for my birthday but I’m not going to release my EP until Halloween cause it’s a scary fucking day. I feel like my visuals that I’m doing around that time is based around Halloween.

Does the EP have a title?

Yeah, so I’m thinking about…I don’t have a title yet so I don’t want to say it and then be wrong.

Would you want to sign with Young Thug’s imprint or would you prefer to go somewhere else?

Thug told me himself that he wanted the best for me and he told me that, he knows with the relationship being so personal…he never wants to tear us apart, basically. The thing is, I’m so YSL. My imprint is YSL, I’m coming in the game, whether I sign with whoever, as YSL. Thug is executive producing my EP, so he still has his feet all the way in, but I’m not signed to YSL.

What do you see in your future with Thug and with the music. I wanted to know if you wanted to have a family with Thug, do you guys plan on having kids?

I definitely do want to have a family but right now, I’m really focusing on my music and me and him building a stronger bond and learning right now. I want to just observe. We’ve cut out so much of our arguments and just ups and downs, because we’re like, look, if it’s not about our careers about us and it’s not about us being a power team together, whether we have a relationship or not, me and Jeff are always going to be a team. I owe so much to him, my first break was on Slime Language. He didn’t have to do that. So, I’m always going to feel like it’s me and him no matter what, whether we work out as a relationship, marriage, baby daddy, baby mama or not. But I do want to have children but for now, I think in the next year and a half or so, I just want to drop two of my projects.

So if there’s one thing you can be known for. If it’s one thing, whether it’s the music or swimwear, if you had to choose one.

I want to be known for, when they look back, the girl who set an example. People will take you for a joke, like, ‘oh you’re a man-made machine and you have the best writers around you,’ I’m not that. I want people to know that you can really wake up and have a passion and exceed at doing it. I been hearing, ‘You wanted to wake up and be a rapper,’ she just woke up and wanted to be a rapper, all these girls wanna rap. So what? You can wake up and develop a talent as long as you’re willing to work at it. So that’s what I want to be remembered as. Karlae really woke up and wanted to do music and she did it exceptionally well. I want to be known too, as a positive force for young women because I feel like a lot of us battle with, mentally, we’re in this cage and the world doesn’t know it because we’re put up against society and Instagram, and the looks of things, and my music, it talks about that. I want that to be my message too. I’m a real bitch, I’m not an opportunist, I want realness to come from me and literally just this girl who didn’t do it off of luck. I did it off of practice and investing into my craft.

That’s dope. Thank you so much. Thank you for your time. I’m looking forward to all the music.

I appreciate you guys. When I do some more stuff and I have some releases, I would love to invite the brand out to get it covered.

0 notes

britishdelirium · 7 years

Audio

This rap is lyrically one of the best things ever written. Sit back, listen and read these lyrics.

[Verse 1: Akala] Yes, I grew up on the dole in a single parent family Been through a little bit of tragedy Yes I was around drugs and violence before the day that I started secondary And that’s part of it not half of it, get the picture, the rest ain’t necessary Growing up, got a little caught up, but that ain’t even half of my life Also given the knowledge of self That is all we actually need to survive If you saw me aged 9, reading Malcolm just fine Teachers still treated me stupid Students that couldn’t speak English, they put me in groups with And the irony is some of the first man to give me schooling You would call gangsters but I already explained, we know what the truth is They used to say ‘Don’t be like me’ Yeah I got a name and dough on the street Night time comes, I can’t sleep And that’s the part that rappers don’t speak We don’t hit the road cos we are thugs Don’t come out the womb, wanting to sell drugs If we got the right guidance and love Would we fight people just like us? How could I knock the hustle to get by? How do you think I ate as a child? Judge no one, done many things wrong I just don’t boast about it songs But listen to my older bars I was just as confused as you probably are But you grow and you learn, travel and fuck up One too many man you know get cut up One too many man that could’ve been doctors End up spending their whole life boxed up You learn, if you study Its all set out just to make them money No cover, it’s all about getting poor people to fight with one another So its logical that us killing our brothers, dissing our mothers Is right in line with the dominant philosophy of our time But time is a cycle, not a line Comes back around you regain your mind You be ready for the energy I channel in my rhymes Remedy the pedigree, the jeopardy of mine When the world’s this f***ed up, lethargy’s a crime We can all fight with our brothers over crumbs Far harder to fight the one who makes guns We can all talk sh** and get two dollars Far harder to be the one who seeks knowledge If we understood economics We’d know money’s nothin’ Think nothing of it Money is a means to get wealth, not the wealth itself Don’t get confused, I’m far from broke All that you see me do I own But I won’t hang what I make around my neck I know from where that the diamonds came But I do quite literally own a library That definitely costs more than your chain And businesses, and properties Far from starvin’, I eat quite properly And I don’t care, just said it for the kids Who need to know that you’re not broke to listen Don’t know an asset from a liability They’ve never been shown or told the difference So they don’t change situations Richest man in Britain is Asian That’s significant, not coincidence Asian people build businesses Not by flossin/going out shoppin’ Giving out their culture for everyone’s profit Who run’s Bollywood? Indian people Who owns our shit? So we shake our arse and dance As if racism just upped and vanished But has it? No its right on course You’re beaten so bad, you’re trained to ignore Let me not just make sweeping statements Gimme a second, I’ll explain it For small amounts of drug possession there’s more black people in jail in America than there is for rape and armed robbery and murder all put together You can say they’re just locking up thugs Imagine if they locked up every middle class kid that had ever held drugs Oh that’s right, that’d be your kids! Bigger than that what is going on with this Prison in America’s a private business They get paid 50k per year per inmate by the State, just wait… Also legally are allowed to use their prison inmates as slaves Cheap slave labour, big corporations They come out of jail, can’t get a job So when we celebrate going to jail We are LITERALLY CELEBRATING ENSLAVEMENT Add to that, that the hood that you’re livin’ Engineered social condition that breeds crime by design Where do you think you get your nine? You can say that they’re just black But I like to deal with facts In the 1920s you would’ve found in America Black towns Prospering centres of economics and education to make you proud But some people couldn’t bear that the former slaves would not just lie down So the KKK and other hate groups burnt those towns to the ground Killin hundreds If it ain’t understood You think you were always livin’ in the hood? Shit it’s only been sixty years Since they hung blacks and burned em’ And that was so cool They were your pastors’ picnic baskets Even gave kids the day off school To go see a lynching, have a picnic It’s fun to watch the little monkeys die Then people act a little dysfunctional You wanna pretend that you don’t know why If your colour means you can be killed And you’re powerless to get justice about it Is it difficult to figure out how you would then end up feelin’ about it? And that ain’t excuses Just dealing with the roots of abuses that make a reality Where a generation of young men speak of ourselves as dirt casually That’s America This Britain Some things are similar Some different In this country the first enslaved were the working class What’s changed? Worst jobs, worst conditions Worst taxed, look where you’re livin’ You go to the pub, Friday night You will fight with a guy, don’t know what for But won’t fight with a guy, suit and a tie Who sends your kids to die in a war They don’t send the kids of the rich or politicians It’s your kids, the poor British That they send to go die in a foreign land For these wars you don’t understand Yeah they say that you’re British And that lovely patriotism they feed ya But in reality you have more in common with immigrants Than with your leaders I know, both side of my family Black and white are fed ghetto mentality Reality in this system Poor people are dirt regardless of shade But with that said Let’s not pretend that everything is the same When our grandparents came here to Britain If you had a criminal record you couldn’t get in Yet that ain’t protect them from all the stupid, stupid abuses they would be livin’ Kicked in the teeth, stabbed in the street Many times fired bombed our houses Put faeces through our letter box And of course the cops did so much about it(!) Daily, up to the 80s People spittin’ into my pram cos’ I was a coon baby But of course that has had no effect on why today we are crazy And none of this was for any good reason They were just dark and breathing To ease the guilt now for all of this treatment Constant stereotypes are needed So if I celebrate how big that my dick is, bricks that I’m flippin’ Clips that I’m stickin’, chicks that I’m hittin’, I’m playing my position But if I teach a kid to be a mathematician, messin’ with the schism How they gonna fill a prison when materialism is nothing but a religion? What do you think we got now in Britain? Just like America, private prisons Prisons for profit! That mean when your kids go jail people make money off it So keep environments that breed crime Build more jails at the same time Market badness to the kids in the rhymes As long as rich kids ain’t dying its fine! Get em’ to the point where some are so lost They actually believe that if they don’t celebrate killin’ themselves off That it’s because they’re soft Was Malcolm soft? Was Marley soft? Tell me was Marcus Garvey soft? Well? Was Mohammed Ali soft? Nah, Nah I think not! But they want us to think that the road is cool Being on road is all we can do We don’t control the wholesale productions Who benefits from us movin’ the food? Or thinking there’s no way out of road life But Malcolm X used to hustle out on the roadside When Marcus Garvey organised more than 6million people With no Facebook or Twitter Why is this something you cannot equal? Shiiiiit! One of my homeboys did a ten straight in the box in yard Now what’s he doing? Passin’ his doctorate Don’t tell me that it’s too hard! Who trained you to believe that you’re inferior? Sungbo Eredo in Nigeria are the remains of an ancient moat Dug 1000 years ago 20 metres wide, 70 down Round the remains of an ancient town That’s 400 square miles around 400 square miles around Please, please don’t believe me It was a documentary on BBC! But we ain’t studyin’ history Too busy watching MTV And MTV said wear platinum Now everybody wanna go and wear platinum And MTV said pop magnums Now everybody wanna go and pop magnums If MTV said drink prune juice You would start hearing that in tunes soon ‘Hey! Today I wore my Cartier Is it now more important what I got to say?’ Oh and I drive a Mercedes by the way So everybody listen to what I got to say Huh, does that make you all happy? Ahh but shit my head’s still nappy Think for myself, still some mad at me But on the mic ain’t not one bad as me All of this here’s good for the rhymes Put us in the same place at the same time And it’s clear to everybody that I’m out of my mind Some of these guys are runnin’ out of their rhymes Clear to everybody that has got ears I’m the guy that they just might fear They wanna get near but they can’t have a peer Ah dear I’m hard liquor you’re just like beer Front on the kid for another five years Come to my shows and some cry tears It mean that much to em’, it’s a movement! I don’t speak for myself but a unit Black, white, man, woman, anyone that respects truth we put in Dudes are like no dinner with just puddin’ Yeah you’re sweet but no substance puddin’ You could never ever be with a level on Our songs get out played out there in Lebanon We speak for the people properly Not for the old fat guys in offices And the girls love him, it ain’t fair He can’t even be bothered to comb his hair Anyway that’s enough kissin’ my own arse Back to the more important task of being so shower I got half the hood screaming “KNOWLEDGE IS POWER” And I ain’t saying that will change rap But I do know this for a fact Right now there’s a yout’ on your block With his hand on his cock and his face screwed up Swear he don’t care, don’t give a fuck That he won’t let nobody call his bluff But the words go in Open up your chakra Because once that’s happened there’s no going back Once you start to see what is really happening Who the enemy you should be attackin’ is So READ, READ, READ! Stuck on the block, READ, READ! Sittin’ in the box, READ, READ! Don’t let them say what you can achieve Cos when people are enslaved One of the first things they do is stop them reading Cos’ it is well understood that intelligent people will take their freedom Cos’ if we knew our power we would understand that we can’t be held down If we knew our power, we would not elevate not one of these clowns If we knew our power, we wouldn’t get arrogant when we get two pennies If we knew our power, we would see what everybody sees, that we’re rich already! But never mind MCs go run for your mummy I’m hungry, I run for my tummy That’s enough, back to worshipping money I’m off, back to the study!

#akala #fire in the booth part 1

0 notes