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#i don't even know what i wantttt
angeltism · 7 months
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this doesn't feel fair
#➳ valentin vents#so much i could say. not that there's a point in saying anything. but also not that that's ever stopped me.#i knew it'd end. i knew i wouldn't be able to handle staying friends. but it still feels unfair.#i keep cycling through ''i am literally so chill i am vibing'' - ''ok i'm kinda sad but thats ok'' n ''throbbing chest pain why why why''#i don't know what i want. i can't think of a solution to feeling this way. all i can do is wait but i want to feel better now.#there was no way to fix things as there was nothing to be fixed.#but it still hurts. i'm still jealous. that's all i'm good at being.#i'm sad but i don't know why i'm sad. if i stop and really think i should only be a little sad.#i want to be angry but there's nobody to reasonably be angry at. nobody's done anything wrong.#i can only imagine how i'm the only one feeling this way lmao#maybe that's another of my ''source my anxiety told me'' thoughts but#i also just can't imagine why someone would actually be upset no longer having me in their life?#especially when there's other beings. there's someone else. there always has been.#i don't even know what i wantttt#i don't want to date again. bad idea. i'm too scared. i need to recover. i should focus on myself.#but i don't want to be alone. it's terrible.#i don't regret anything. i think. it's not like with my abuser where i regret each and every thing.#it was a good thing. if nothing else i know more about my needs. i know how to have courage to bring up issues.#i know when it's time to stop trying and to let go. i guess.#idk oh my god this is a fucking novel#again heyy could be worse. if uu think this is annoying ya'll should've seen me while i was w my abuser JDJFKJDNJD#i'd literally vent like every day abt him. which honestly fair he gave me a lot of trust issues. but rip to everybun who knew me in 2022 fr#* ok i have realized it's like. the exact same so far bc i've kept venting abt this LMFAOOO but uhh.#the venting back then was MUCH more colorfully worded and often. and less somber more ''i fucking hate c's guts i want that [insults] DEAD'#and like every 30 minutes. at least ya'll r getting pauses between my annoying ass posts HJDHJFH
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c4tb0y0 · 2 years
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Incorrect Pjo/HoO quotes I made myself;
(yes there is one spoiler please do be careful I have put a warning there)
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Nico: Such a swaggie day today
Everyone:
Will: Something went wrong didn't it..
Nico: Yep
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Leo: Sorry I can't come over my tomagotchi is sick and I need to look after it so it don't just leave me like everyone else :)
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Percy: I fear for the day Nico somehow revives William Shakespeare like.. Thou does not wans't that
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Annabeth: I am surrounded by idiots
Percy: That was quoted from Lion King
Grover: When I was younger I had an irrational fear of Scar
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Leo: I hate Winston Churchill he is a moody rat
Annabeth: He literally won the war
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Percy: I am losing the plot
Annabeth: You never had the plot to begin with
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Will: Day 274 in the heat, I think I am hallucinating for a split second I saw thanatos
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Nico: Someone asked what my music taste is so I said I like bands like My chemical romance, they whispered "are you emo?" like it's a disease
Nico: I generally did not know what to say after that
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!! Spoilers for HoO if you have not read it yet!!
Piper: The world is horrible I never knew how rough it could be till now..
Leo: Umm is everything alright with Piper
Annabeth: I just told her, her boyfriend technically was not her boyfriend and he doesn't even know her lol
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Percy singing: Alllll I wantttt is blue fooood
Sally singing back: Herreeeeeee is your blueee fooood
Annabeth walking into the kitchen: What in the musical is this-
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Percy: :(
Jason: What's wrong with Percy?
Annabeth: He just found out that Killer whales aren't really killer and they just have a bad rep
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Piper: Talk to me like that again and I will do an wwe smackdown on you
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Dionysius on his third energy drink: Is it good or bad that I am seeing demigods flying?
Chiron: For the love- please I beg you stop drinking those
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Nico: It may seem hot, but the underworld is hotter
Jason: STOP TALKING ABOUT THE UNDERWORLD, I CAN'T NOT IN THIS WEATHER
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Clarisse wearing sunglasses: Alright guys we gotta get the flag and not die trying
Travis Stoll: I wasn't listening to anything you were saying but you look drippy
Clarisse: Listen! We have to-
Connor Stoll: D R I P P Y
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lurkingteapot · 8 months
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Love in Translation รักไม่รู้ภาษา Ep 3+4
My watch notes for your pleasure (?)
Ep 3
ahaahah of course Yang and Tammy know each other. Possibly biblically.
I'm not gonna even attempt to transcribe all of these, but what I got was Yang: 别让别人知道我们认识 Tammy: 为什么 Yang: 我们现在和陌生人没什么区别啊 让后我们的过去也没哪么记得会回忆吧
they don't hate each other, at least. I think.
I respect Tammy's hustle
I really love the Phawjai/not-called-dtua-lek-but-fuck-if-I-can-remember-his-real-name side ship. They're cute.
oh man, Phumjai is NOT paying attention
I LOVE THIS SHOW for calling out gtranslate.
for real though the hàa hàa hàa was such a whiplash from wǔ wǔ wǔ
… and now this door sign again, nooooo
their 无耻 sounds SO MUCH like 无去 to me >_>
Yang is so protective of Phumjai and it's not all about the shop anymore.
gotta give it to Phumjai, at least he's not the super jealous type, I guess
Ep 4
oooof Yang, are you speaking from experience here?
PRACTICE DATE <3 <3 <3 This trope done well is just so good.
oh, that pandan bread looks incredible
hotpot!!! oh this is going to be a hard episode to watch on an empty stomach
吃什么不重要 重要的是跟谁一起吃 -> 阳阳啊,你说的对
I love how this show goes into cultural differences between Thailand and China a bit every now and then – teaching moment for everyone
oh goodness, Yang is so gone
oh no, the temple scene, oh NO
Phumjai is so oblivious, goodness. the way Yang looks at him!!
khanom khrok!! I wantttt. these are fancy though
oh god they're CUTE
oh NO not the duck pendant!! and I think Phumjai actually finally started to notice something there, even if he repressed it pretty much immediately
oh Yang, daring, daring. granted he probably counts on Phumjai not to get it? but still.
oh man this scene under the tree is taking me OUT
Phumjai trusts him so muchhhh and he's not about to break that the frequent check-ins
also asdfasdfasdf Phumjai isn't! budging!
I wish I knew more about the author's stories, that couple that just interrupted them felt like a cameo
oh Yang, oh bb
omg omg this disguise I CANNOT, I wonder whether that's a reference to something
aaah conversations about going public <3 <3 <3
oh Phumjai you adorable oblivious child
so you're saying the entire practice date was more fun than your actual date, aren't you
it's no fun when you're mostly a prop, isn't it
oh Phumjai, you're nearly there. so close.
HERE WE GO!
what a half-time ending
I adore this show and really recommend it so far. Ep 1 was the weakest to me, tbh, but it's gaining every episode. It's on youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s27LxcQeg_0
And for my fellow Thai learning folks: I just realised it has Thai subtitles, too!
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icharchivist · 3 years
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might end up blocking Banri’s tag, if people tagged the posts they made about him i mean.
#listen yeah he's been annoying and all and i get why people joke about him so much but it's tiring me#i really like Banri. I really do. He has a stellar character development imo and some of my fav scenes#so seeing the same 3 talking points turning around and around with the 'lol we like bullying banri here' tires me in the end#it's all in good fun and i'm not going to stop anyone and all but i'm really tired to see those posts all the time lmao#that does remind me why i mostly kept quiet for over a year while obsessing over a3#(tbh tumblr used to be empty on that - when i got into it the tags were not active much. now there's a bit more but maann)#i was better off not knowing what people thought about all of the a3 charas that's all i mean#it's azu day i don't want to get worked up about Banri#(idk if my post is clear but i want to block the tag bc people are just being mean and i like banri too much to just bear it all the time)#and i'm tired bc then i argue with myself for hours and i don't wantttt toooo#it's azu's day it's fuyu day i don't want to be worked up about it esp since ppl have reasons and all#but i just wish there was a way for me to Not See those posts lmao#i don't get where people get the energy to post this much about charas they don't like#there is only One (1) a3 chara i'm lurkwarm about (and even there i do like him it's just. bottom of the list)#and i did a joke about it ONLY ONCE and never mentioned it ever again#anyway *claps cheeks* Fuyu time#(god i'm glad fuyu isn't that popular i saw One (1) post dissing Tasuku once and i lost it for a full day)#ichatalks about a3#ichasalty#(i mean it's not like i'm safe and all since chkg is my fav and i refuse to dig his tag bc everytime i find stuff tha tupset me bc of that)#(but Banri has the most 'jokes' about how people dislike him)#(and guh i'm okay with taking it lightheartedly but i am too moody lately to just not let the negative feeling sink in)
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talkfantasytome · 3 years
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Would you be open to writing a Gwynriel piece? I'd love to see your interpretation of them!
Helloooo! I'm going to be honest, I'm not entirely sure if this is just a question out of curiosity, or a request for a drabble or something. 😂
So, to answer the question, YES! Absolutely. They're probs a top 5 SJM world ship for me (maybe top 3?) and, to be honest, in my little side Gwynriel convo in 'Don't Forget Your Orgasm', I shocked myself in the banter I wrote - in a good way. Something about them seemed to inspire me, and I hope it'll do the same in a full Gwynriel fic.
Sadly, I often find myself struggling for the inspiration/motivation to start or fully create Gwynriel pieces. But I do wantttt to do more with them. And I do hope to have at least one or two stories in the Velaris State Chronicles be focused on them.
I would love more info on what interpretation you mean - just, in general? Canon compliant? Modern AU? etc. Or if you have a prompt in mind? Just lmk - since I do struggle, I'm all for hearing extra ideas.
That being said, in case this was just a request, here's a small drabble (a true drabble 👀) of Az coming to pick Gwyn up for that date mentioned in 'Don't Forget Your Orgasm'. Az POV, it's a bit short, but it does capture (I believe) what I think they'd be like even in canon compliant once there's healing on both sides.
P.S. Other nonnies - I see you, I love you, I WILL answer you. But it's now past 10 and I'm not the fastest writer. Not the slowest, but not the fastest. lol But if you're in my ask box currently, you will get an answer and/or a piece for the prompt sent - most likely tomorrow when I'm supposed to be working. I've seen you, and I'm all for it. XD
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Azriel pulled up to Gwyn's apartment complex, breathing deeply
He couldn't believe what had happened today. Gwyn was a spitfire, to be sure, and she'd definitely not shied away from some flirtatious banter on their first date - but that? That he wasn't expecting.
If he were being honest, he hadn't been expecting the words that came out of his own mouth. In fact, he'd kicked himself internally for that stupid comment on finding her new tattoo…until she replied and he felt himself go hard right then and there.
Thankfully, her two friends - both terrifying in their own right - weren't paying attention to that. One just didn't seem interested in what happened below his belt, and the other was far too interested in what was happening beneath his brother's. Based on the little he saw, he had a feeling Cassian would be having a good night.
After a minute of just sitting in his two-door Jeep Wrangler, Az finally turned the car off and got out of it, heading toward the door.
He buzzed Gwyn's number and was greeted by a quick "Hi! Come on up!" and then a ringing sound to let him know the door was unlocked.
He spent the entire journey to the third floor schooling his features to not look surprised.
None of it mattered when Gwyn opened the door, bathrobe still on, portable curling iron in her hair, still looking like the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.
Yeah, he was done for.
"Hi hi! So sorry!" Gwyn sighed, opening the door wider so he could come in. "Emerie and I were about to leave the tattoo parlor, but then Nesta decided to go back into it, and we just ended up talking for way longer than expected. Oh, and for the record, your friend Cassian definitely got lucky."
Azriel couldn't help but laugh as Gwyn just rambled on.
"I had a feeling he would," he sighed, taking in the apartment.
It was cute. Decorated mostly with an ocean décor - lots of shades of blue and green, and a few 3D pieces of art featuring colorful fish. It fit.
"Make yourself at home," she said as she started back toward the bathroom. "I know it doesn't look it, but I'm almost ready!"
"Take all the time you want," he offered, smiling more to himself than anything. "I'm not going anywhere."
Gwyn popped her head back out into the open threshold of her bathroom. "Why would you?" She smirked and winked before her head vanished again.
"Great question," he breathed to himself, leaning back into the couch.
It didn't matter that they'd only had one date so far. There was nothing that could make him leave, could make him miss out on time with Gwyn.
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lxveclxb · 7 years
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Aight here we go my crush is the biggest dork I know. He's so unapologetic about who he is and i absolutely admire that. Everything he does puts a smile to my face. He uses every excuse he can to hug me and I'm all for it. I can talk to him about anything and I don't have to worry about him judging me. I warned him about how much of a mess I am but he said my mental illnesses can't stop his feelings for me and I honestly don't know what I did to deserve him...
this! is! so! cute! I’m! so! incredibly! happy! for! you! ahhhhhhhhhh!! he sounds like a catch and you deserve to feel appreciated and loved and I hope you continue to feel this way anon! lmk how it goes and what happens if u wantttt, I’m always here to listen if u need. I’m also sending you the good vibes rn even tho it looks like u might not need ‘em
tell me about ur crush ! x
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