#i don't want conflict. i don't want to impose. we have ALL struggled over the years and i don't want to add to it in any way

[digisurvive]

The case of the mysterious woman

So, my friend got digisurvive for their birthday and was diligently texting me about it. When he met the mysterious woman, he remarked "lol this is arukenimon again, isn't it?" (We watched Ghost Game together, but she hasn't actually watched 02 LMAO).

At any rate, this got me thinking the scenario brings out very fun points of interest for Shuuji, Kaito and Aoi, regardless whether we, genre-savy digimon fans, can buy it.

We get our first taste of Shuuji's risk aversion in this part when he quickly shoots down the idea of going out to explore, backed by Aoi. In true Takuma fashion, we push the decision for later, much to Saki and Minoru's disappointment. From Minoru's side, who has the tendency to act impulsively and plan poorly ("Let's go out and look for the Professor asap, we can look for food on the way"), it's not surprising he'd take this stance. Despite his fear being getting the spotlight in his arc, it's not like he lacks an adventurous spirit or dislikes entertaining bizarre ideas; it's more about how inconsistent he is to act based on integrity because of falling into his avoidance coping and priotizing his own comfort or giving in to his emotions.

From Saki is more interesting, I think, given she was chased around by Fangmon alongside Shuuji and finds the possibility of violent confrontation distateful, not to mention she's fairly conflict adverse too. Still, she emphasizes the idea of at least trying something in part 5, and, with her cultivated optimism, expects for the best. This very strongly plays into why her and Minoru trust Arukenimon so easily. Lots of wishful thinking and wanting to believe the best can happen. I think one could have a lot of fun playing into how eager she is to jump into the apparent easy solution. The disillusionment certainly starts to set for her past part five lol

Shuuji's stance is, as said earlier, risk adverse. He doesn't wanna take any chances and he immediately jumps into the possibility of getting them all killed. At this point, he still hopes a search party will find them and hasn't yet been shown that won't be the case, so he's not being entirely irrational here. However, the fact remains that it's a defined pattern for him to reject taking any risks and freezing and failing to respond to the situations before him. The other thing that is also a pattern is how easily he caves in to external pressure. He doesn't have much trust in his own judgment, and his own personality and upbringing make him suceptible to that sort of external pressure— so once the majority outnumber him, he takes on the responsibility of spearhearding the exploration lol This carries over to the way he fails with Arukenimon. He's suspicious of her but eventually caves in to what his juniors want to do, even though it's so ill-advised. Given the Cherubimon evo scene underlines the need for him to embrace his "selfishness" and trust his own judgment, it's pretty great how even early conflicts show us how badly he struggles to actually put his foot down and stand by his discernment. On the flipsode, this trait of his isn't always negative, not imposing on the group can lead to some necessary outcomes, but the fact is that these early "agreements" stem from being outnumbered and not having any real alternative than to follow the group, so they usually bring out his shortcomings more often than not.

In the case of Aoi, I think it's interesting that she initially backs Shuuji up, only to change her mind when she hears about the radio tower. In part two, she wasn't opposed to looking for the Professor and co, but she disagreed about going out unprepared, wanting the group to find food first. As she puts it in part four when scolding Shuuji after his argument with Kaito, they can't get by without ever venturing outside. So, she's not as risk adverse as him but tends to prefer caution and less plans when they don't have a clear goal. She rejects the idea at first, but once she hears about the radio tower and reasons the benefits it'll have (being able to communicate with the world), she sees the risk as warranted. Arguably, she agrees with Shuuji and Kaito about the Mysterious Woman because of pragmatic reasons but completely fails to rouse the group under this directive. While being a pushover often seems more of a her problem, this scenario brings out really well how her inaction or inability to assert herself can have negative outcomes for them as a whole.

With regards Kaito, this scenario is a great reintroduction to his character. The initial reason he gives for not trusting Arukenimon can boil down to just instict (Everything we have met this far is a monster, what makes you think she isn't), even in the face of the partnermon not being able to confirm his suspicions. Beyond that, he's so riled up by Arukenimon, he comes off as too irrational and violent (Shuuji and Minoru straight have to hold him back from fist fighting her, which is just hilarious). I think this makes him easy to dismiss by Minoru and Saki, even though his case is actually pretty credible once he actually explains it LOL The fact Dracmon straight up says "We'll go through this, and if we're wrong, we'll say sorry afterwards" makes it doubly funny. Despite being right and having pretty solid reasoning, he sure makes himself look pretty badly lol

#digimon survive #saki #aoi #shuuji #minoru #kaito

[rosie-rosem]

like you want me to - jungwon

tlit21c masterlist - here

———————————————————————-

❥ pairing: jungwon x reader

❥ genre: one sided love??, slight angst, slight fluff.

❥ summary: don’t want to string you along, i can’t love you like you want me to.

__________________________________________

WC: 610

A/N: hi, I wanted to put out another one just because. this one might be a bit different than you would expect but I hope you will still enjoy it! :]

------------------------------

You sighed as you peered out the window of your cozy little apartment, watching as Jungwon stood patiently outside. Your heart ached, knowing he had come to see you, but you couldn't find the courage to face him. You had been avoiding him for days, afraid of what your true feelings might reveal.

You knew Jungwon had feelings for you, and it wasn't as if you didn't feel something for him too. But you had always been guarded, afraid of letting someone in too close. you couldn't bear the thought of hurting him in the long run, so you chose to push him away.

Jungwon's warm smile haunted your thoughts as you recalled all the times you had spent together. He was practically perfect, and you felt unworthy of the love he offered you. You had tried to picture a future with him, but your doubts kept creeping in.

"You're everything I ever could've dreamed about," you whispered to yourself, "but I don't deserve it."

As the days passed, you found yourself feeling more conflicted than ever. You longed to be with Jungwon, to hold him close, and let yourself love him freely. But fear and uncertainty held you back, leaving you torn between your emotions and your self-imposed limitations.

One evening, she mustered up the courage to call him, knowing she couldn't avoid him forever. Jungwon picked up on the first ring, and his voice was gentle, filled with concern and affection.

"Y/N, is everything alright? I've been worried about you."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you tried to choke back your emotions. "I'm sorry, Jungwon. I'm so sorry for pushing you away like this. I can't call you mine or baby like you want me to, and it hurts me to know that I can't give you all of me."

Jungwon's voice softened even further, "Y/N, you don't need to apologize. I know you're struggling with this, and I don't want to force you into anything you're not ready for. But I can't deny how I feel about you. I'll wait for you, for as long as it takes."

You felt a mix of relief and guilt wash over you. Jungwon's understanding was both comforting and heartbreaking. You knew he deserved someone who could reciprocate his love fully, but you couldn't bear the thought of losing him from your life.

As the weeks went by, You and Jungwon continued to spend time together, your connection only growing stronger. You found yourself falling for him more every day, but your doubts still lingered.

One evening, as you sat together under a starry sky, Jungwon took your hand in his and looked into your eyes with unwavering sincerity.

"I want you to know that I'm willing to wait, Y/N. I believe in us, and I believe in you. We can take things at your pace, and I'll always be here, no matter what happens."

His words touched your heart deeply, and you finally realized that you couldn't let your fears dictate your happiness. Love was worth taking a chance on, even if it meant risking getting hurt.

With tears in your eyes, you leaned in and kissed Jungwon softly, the weight of your worries lifting with every passing moment. you both knew the journey ahead wouldn't be easy, but together you would face it, hand in hand.

so, your love story began. You had finally found the courage to let yourself love Jungwon like he deserved, and in return, he gave you the love and understanding you had always craved.

your love blossomed like a flower, slowly but surely. In the end, you had learned that sometimes, you have to try it out to find the love that was meant to be.

———————————————————————-

© rosie-rosem

#jungwon #kpop #tilt21c #enhypen #enha #fanfic #jake #jay #sunghoon #heeseung #niki #sunoo #enha x reader #enhypen x reader #jungwon x reader #yang jungwon #lyn lapid tilt21c #rosie rosem #like you want me to

[wartakes]

Geopolitics: The Reason Why Your Tummy Hurts (OLD ESSAY)

This essay was originally posted on September 27th, 2022.

This is one of those essays where I see a string of posts or a line of behavior emerging on the internet and I feel compelled to push back on it. In this case, its how people don't understand the situation some countries and groups find themselves trapped in when they have to turn to less than desirable partners for help (especially if the US and the West aren't willing to step up).

(Full essay below the cut).

I feel like every time I rejoin you all with one of these essays I have to go “boy, a lot of history sure happened in the last month” and this time it’s no exception. I’m going to spare you the line-item state of the world summary, however, and I’m gonna try and get straight to the point in this piece because I really think the main point of this month’s essay is an important one that I want to really want to cram into people’s brains and make it stick there.

The Russian invasion of Ukraine has had a number of repercussions there will be more as it continues on. One that I’ve noticed online in particular – though exclusively – is the treatment of war and struggle as being almost like some kind of team sport. This in itself is not new by any means, but I believe that the monumental nature and scale of the Russian invasion and the manner in which it caught so many off guard has amplified this tendency. The result is that you get a number of people boiling down armed conflict and the geopolitics surrounding it into essentially “yay my team and anyone that supports it and boo the other team and anyone that supports it.”

Now before you take that the wrong way, this is by no means an attempt on my part to “both sides” the Ukraine conflict. I have maintained since 2014 that Russia is an aggressor trying to impose its imperialistic will on Ukraine and that belief has only been reinforced by the events of the past seven months as Russia’s war of aggression in Ukraine has slogged on. The point I’m trying to make is, by taking a “sportsball” (God help me) approach to wars like the one in Ukraine and everything else that becomes connected to it, those with that mindset begin to dumb down, disregard, or downright ignore nuance to the point that it starts to become actually harmful as it spreads to events that are removed by several orders of magnitude. It’s also worth noting that this attitude is something that’s not exclusive to any particular political ideology and that I’ve noticed it coming from all comers interacting with the War in Ukraine and other conflicts.

Said harmful effects became obvious in the past few weeks as new events unfolded outside of the scope of the War in Ukraine, but with the shadow of that conflict hanging over it and the “go team” simplified mindset having a direct impact on how it has been (incorrectly) perceived by many who have become more focused on international relations following the start of the Russian invasion. My goals for this essay are to A.) try and explain how all of this (i.e. geopolitics) is – unfortunately – more complicated than it looks and that can’t be helped; but I also want to B.) try and explain how you can wrap your head around what sometimes feels like conflicting and contradictory stances on geopolitics in a world increasingly filled with more and more crises and conflicts. At the end of the day, if you follow a consistent moral compass when it comes to armed aggression and your sense of internationalism and solidarity, you’ll find that navigating this crazy world isn’t as hard as a lot of people would lead you to believe (often to their own self-interested or sinister ends). So, without further ado, let’s get right into things.

The Tangled Web of Geopolitics

Life is inherently complicated. We, as human beings, have a natural desire to try and simplify it in order to make it both easier to understand and to manage – even if sometimes there are aspects of life that are difficult (if not impossible) to simplify. Geopolitics takes that to an extreme. Geopolitics are complicated, messy, sometimes contradictory, and always frustrating. So, it’s no mistake that the casual observer (and sometimes even the more experienced practitioner) will try and boil geopolitics down to simple, black and white terms, in order to try and make sense of it. While this desire to make geopolitics into a simple binary is understandable, it almost always ends up going too far and leads to flawed and often hurtful approaches to the rest of the world.

An excellent example of this are the latest clashes between Armenia and Azerbaijan – occurring very much in the shadow of the ongoing Russian war against Ukraine. If you’ve read my essays before or followed me on Twitter (or follow Joe Kassabian on Twitter), you’re probably no stranger to the long-time struggle between Armenia and Azerbaijan – particularly over the contested majority-Armenian region of Nagorno-Karabakh or Artsakh. However, recently Azerbaijan broadened the conflict with a large-scale series of strikes against Armenia proper, attacking across their internationally recognized border with only the flimsiest of pretenses. While at the time of writing this essay things have calmed down some, the situation remains tense – with some countries advising their citizens to now evacuate certain parts of Armenia due to fears of further Azeri invasion.

Now, whatever you think about the Artsakh issue (my stance is that it is Armenian but that’s a completely different essay), we should all be able to agree that countries should not attack one another’s internationally recognized territory proper – especially not without actual provocation or under false pretenses (which Azerbaijan’s pretenses almost certainly are). Yet, I’ve seen quite a lot of sentiment on social media that somehow Armenia has done something to “deserve” this attack or that its somehow their “just desserts” and that they deserve no sympathy or assistance.

The very flawed and twisted justification for this attitude is that Armenia is a member of the Collective Security Treaty Organization, a military alliance led (and dominated) by Russia, formed following the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1992. Since Armenia is therefore a military treaty ally of Russia, a number of supporters of Ukraine (which I also support against unjustified Russian military aggression and imperialism) seem to believe that Armenia deserves whatever it gets as its attacked by Azerbaijan. There’s also a rather rosy attitude towards Azerbaijan by Ukrainians and Ukraine boosters, as Azerbaijan has politically supported Ukraine since the Russian invasion, sent humanitarian aid, and also has expressed a willingness to step up its oil and gas exports to Europe in order to counteract potential energy warfare by Russia this winter as the War in Ukraine drags on.

There are many problems with this logic (or lack thereof). For one, it fails to interrogate the actual relationship between Armenia and Russia beyond its more surface levels, refusing to ask why Armenia is even in an alliance with Russia to begin with. Armenia is small (both population and territory wise), landlocked country that is flanked by two states (Azerbaijan and Turkey) with much larger populations and resources – one of which has already attempted to wipe out its people before, with the other essentially now daring the world to stop them from doing it again. Armenia lacks the energy resources of Azerbaijan, which has facilitated strong relationships with countries eager to buy those resources – in addition to its strong partnership with Turkey over shared Turkic culture. From the moment it gained independence following the dissolution of the Soviet Union, Armenia needed a security guarantor if it was to avoid another genocide. Russia was the closest and most able and willing to act compared to other states, essentially falling into the role of Armenia’s security guarantor by default and then proceeding to hold a trapped Armenia hostage in the ensuing economic, political, and security relationship.

Essentially, Russia has remained Armenia’s primary security partner all these years basically out of both inertia and a failure by the United States and other countries in the West to do anything to change the situation – even after Armenia’s peaceful democratic revolution in 2018. Russia has also increasingly failed in its role as a security guarantor for Armenia. Russia and the CSTO’s failure to act decisively in the face of the most recent Azeri aggression (this time against Armenia’s internationally recognized territory) has sparked widespread anger and frustration with Russia by Armenians. Some Armenians have even called for Armenia to leave the CSTO and the situation has led to outreach by the Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives – Nancy Pelosi – as the CSTO appears to fragment while Russia’s war in Ukraine falters. While Armenia has been Russia’s ally on paper, it is not and has never been a universally happy and loving relationship and is one that Armenia took out of necessity and lack of options to survive.

Those making overly simplified comments about the Armenia-Azerbaijan situation also seem to ignore that, however cozy Azerbaijan has been with the West or supportive (notionally) of Ukraine, it has retained close political and economic ties with Russia – which in the typical Russian fashion has been trying to play both sides of a frozen conflict (one that is increasingly warming up). Azerbaijan isn’t acting on any profound political or moral grounds, it is simply trying to play all sides in support of its national interests – among which are removing the Armenian state and Armenian people off the face of the Earth (if you don’t believe me, take a look at what 99.9% of Azeri accounts on Twitter have to say about Armenia). Azerbaijan is taking advantage of the war in Ukraine in order to distract from what it wants to accomplish in Armenia, and unfortunately its propaganda war has been far too effective for my tastes thus far (though this time around more people seem to be taking a stand against its more naked aggression and I hope this trend continues – especially if it attacks Armenia further).

Aside from personal interest, I wanted to bring up Armenia and Azerbaijan in particular because this conflict serves as such a solid and recent illustrative example of what I’m trying to communicate. That none of these events happens in a vacuum or without a complex web of sometimes contradictory connections. This isn’t new, either. It’s always been the case, even in situations that have been historically characterized as being almost entirely binary in nature.

Let’s take the Cold War, as another example. We think about the Cold War almost exclusively as a geopolitical struggle between East and West, Communism and Anti-Communism, with two monolithic blocs led by almighty superpowers acting in perfect lockstep with one another. It makes for good propaganda, but it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Both East and West had many fissures and countries within both blocs often acted against one another out of self-interest or opposing principles and ideology – both via proxy and sometimes directly. In the East, the most famous example of this is probably the Sino-Soviet split, which led to the Soviet Union and China engaging in direct border clashes in 1969 and becoming enemies for the next two decades. Another prominent example is the Suez Crisis, where both Britain and France – in league with Israel – attempted one last great imperialist adventure to retake the recently nationalized Suez Canal from Egypt and potentially even remove the charismatic anti-imperialist President Gamal Abdel Nasser from power (against the express wishes and without the direct knowledge of their allied superpower, the United States).

The Cold War, despite our binary view of the competition, was riddled with cases like those just mentioned where supposed allies and partners crossed one another (if you really want to make your  head hurt, take a look at the Wikipedia article for the Nigerian Civil War and then take a look at who was supporting both sides). Despite our innate desire to boil down geopolitics to a simple black and white, good versus evil struggle, that is almost never the case. The reality, as we’ve seen in the examples I’ve brought up, is far more convoluted than we’d like it to be.

How to Hold Two Opinions at the Same Time – A Primer

By now I’ve driven into your heads that geopolitics are not straightforward or black and white. Yeah, good, ok. So now what are you actually supposed to do with this information as you go about your lives? I’m glad you asked.

The point I’m trying to make by smashing you over the head with the proverbial mallet here, is that I want people to understand that sometimes states and their peoples are going to have to make decisions in order to survive that may not necessarily sit well with you ideologically, politically, or otherwise. To be clear, I’m not talking about excusing horrific acts of mass wanton violence like genocide or ethnic cleansing or other war crimes and crimes against humanity. Those are unacceptable no matter who is committing them or what reason they ostensibly have. I’m talking about actions like forging economic ties with, buying arms or seeking military support from, and generally associating with countries, groups, organizations, and so on that you may not be a fan of (for perfectly justified reasons in many cases).

Obviously, there’s no one-sized fits all approach to evaluating these actions and figuring out how you should feel about them or respond to them. There is no one universal “line” that once crossed a country or a people should suddenly no longer be worthy of support in its struggles against outside aggression (nor do I really think there should be a universal line except for specific cases like those acts I mentioned in the previous paragraph). But we have to understand when we see countries doing things that make you want to – for lack of a better term, God help me for saying this – “cancel” them, we also have to put said actions in their proper context (something I’m big on in international relations and security studies in general). We have to understand that, while in some cases countries may be performing certain acts purely out of self-interest and preserving or furthering their national power, in many cases countries and groups are doing them for one main reason: survival. Often, they just have no other options to turn to.

This is a frustrating thing to deal with because it means we have to take positions that, while they are not essentially contradictory, they feel so or appear so. I support Ukraine’s fight against the unjustified invasion and aggression by Russia, while also supporting Armenia’s similar fight against aggression by Azerbaijan and Turkey. What this means is I end up supporting countries that – if you connect the dots – appear to be aligned against one another. Ukraine being aligned with the West and Azerbaijan against Russia, while Armenia is (on paper) allied with Russia against Turkey and Azerbaijan (which I will again remind you both have very close relationships with Russia still despite all this), makes you think that therefore you should also be opposed to Armenia as well as Russia and that you should support Azerbaijan for supporting Ukraine. It all comes back to our innate human desire to make all this simple and cut and dry, black and white.

These types of positions may seem contradictory, but really when you get to the heart of the matter they are not. Said heart of that matter is we should always be opposed to unprovoked and unjustified armed aggression by one state or party against another, full stop. At the end of the day, Russia invaded Ukraine in a war of imperialistic aggression that was entirely a choice on their part (one they are paying for dearly now), that they were led to following their own mistakes they made via their heavy-handed response to the Euromaidan Revolution of 2013-2014. Likewise, while in past struggles with Azerbaijan, Armenia has certainly undertaken acts that were horrific and uncalled for and should be acknowledged as such, that in no way justifies the ongoing aggression that Azerbaijan continues has shown against Armenia and Armenians now for decades. As I shared earlier, Azerbaijan continues to engage in ethnic cleansing and cultural genocide in Artsakh – a historically Armenian majority region – and now seems set on taking those acts to Armenia proper with its most recent attacks on internationally recognized Armenian territory. In both Ukraine’s case and Armenia’s case, even though their relationships tie them to their enemies, it is still ethically, morally, and ideologically correct to support both of them in their struggles as they are both still fighting fundamentally the same struggle despite the geopolitical bullshit that encumbers them as they fight to survive.

As leftists – and just as people – we should take a fundamental stand against armed aggression in all cases, while also supporting those who are victims of aggression in their right to self-defense. This was one of the earliest points I made in writing my essays and one I endeavor to return to often, discussing how being anti-war does not mean that you can’t or shouldn’t defend yourself against armed aggression with force in kind. Being anti-war just means that you don’t start none – that doesn’t mean there won’t be none, if someone else decides to attack you (put another way: “fuck around and find out.”) Once again, this is not a contradictory stance to take. In fact, it is the only acceptable stance to take if you are to stay true to leftist internationalist principles of solidarity and resistance against fascism and imperialism worldwide. We cannot pick and choose the struggles we support based purely on the most superficial of aesthetics or we are betraying the principles we claim to uphold and take to heart. This doesn’t mean that we have to rush to a state’s aid directly in the case of every single war – especially in a case where you have one shitty regime attacking another shitty regime. However, we should still on principle be opposed to armed aggression in the interest of stopping the suffering of innocents caught in the crossfire, and we should then be prepared to assist like minded peoples and governments that share the values we hold as democratic socialists when they request our help and assistance.

I’ve seen plenty of cases of this on the Left, which is one of the main reasons I started writing these essays to begin with. It is most commonly observed in the tankie tendency to support authoritarian leftist regimes regardless of their many failings and crimes, as well as in the more general campist tendency to support any regime – regardless of ideology – that stands in opposition to the United States and the West simply because of said fact and nothing else. The fact is, for us on the Left, it is no less complicated, and we are not immune to geopolitics. As Democratic Confederalists in Rojava attempt to preserve their revolution, they’ve been compelled to balance between the United States and the West on one side and Russia and the Ba’athist Syrian regime of Bashar al-Assad on the other in order to defend themselves against aggression by Turkey and its proxy forces in Syria. They do so because they are doing what they need to in order for both their people and their revolution to survive, while remembering the hard learned lesson of what happens when you depend on one guarantor of your security only to be betrayed time and time again by multiple parties and left to defend yourself with little resources on hand. This is the world we live in, and it involves striking a balance between our ideological beliefs and the cold hard facts of reality. Its never easy, and ideally always a temporary act, but still one that always seems to drag on longer than anyone wants it to and can gnaw at the soul and the conscience along the way if you truly hold your beliefs dear.

Stop and Think

In a better world (not necessarily a perfect one, but a better one), this would all actually be simpler. Perhaps then we actually would have an international united front of ideologically like-minded countries and peoples assisting one another in defending against the arrayed forces of authoritarianism, fascism, imperialism, and a like; enabling its members to not have to make deals with the devil in order to survive and ensure they have a future. In a better world, the struggle of actual good versus evil – though still maybe not as clear cut as we’d all like it to be – would at least be more defined and less fuzzy and easier to get a handle on for the average person who doesn’t have an advanced degree in international relations.

But, as I’ve spent the past multiple paragraphs explaining, that is not the case. I hope someday we can get closer to that kind of world, but as with everything else I aspire to in these essays, it’s going to take many years and a great deal of blood, sweat, and tears to achieve. In the meantime, in the interest of those who engaged in ongoing battles for survival, there are certain things we are going to have to tolerate and make allowances for.

Does this mean that we should not care at all about taking strong moral positions? That since black and white issues are so rare that everything should be treated as “gray” and that ethics and morality, and ideological positions don’t matter? That we should all become ultra-realists that Kissinger would applaud? Of course not. The main overarching point I’m trying to make (and have made on other related issues in these essays before) is that all of this is far more complicated than you think. That’s not an excuse to not care, it should be an excuse to care more and an impetus for you to want to figure out how you feel and have to think about events more deeply and your own reactions to and interactions with them more deeply. It means you have to engage your brain when you see a new Tweet on world events and not immediately decide the entirety of your position right then and there in 280 characters based on whatever thoughts are floating in your head at the time. I know this is a tall order at a time when a new historical event is occurring every five minutes, but it really is essential if we are to have fewer in the future.

Ok, I’m fading fast here due to having stuffed myself with this sausage stew I made earlier, so I’m afraid I have no eloquent conclusion here other than “think” and “don’t be a fucking jackass.” Oh, and try to take a moment to breathe now and then in between major historical events or you will go insane – guaranteed. That’s all I got for now. Until next time, stay safe and look after yourselves and your loved ones, and I’ll be back with another lecture next month.

#essay #War Takes #War Takes Essay #leftism #leftist #socialism #democratic socialism #international relations #IR #national security #national defense #international security #foreign policy #foreign affairs #war #geopolitics #armenia #azerbaijian #syria #kurds #kurdistan #rojava #internationalism #military intervention #Ukraine #Russia

[funkymbtifiction]

Have you read this article by Joseph Simone from the enneagrammer site? He's presumably talking about his, i don't know, secondary or tertiary 6-fix, but what are your thoughts on the topic?

It pretty accurate in terms of how 6w7 behaves, yes. The one thing I would add as a 6w7 is ambivalence toward closeness/relationships. I struggle a great deal with wanting friends/support systems, but also not wanting them to impose on me too much. People who latch onto you and immediately want to know everything about you feel smothering to me and I try to distance myself. This results in a back and forth push-pull of "I think I might want to get to know you, but I'm not totally sure if that's what I want" form of attachment, disconnect, attachment, disconnect, that can be super irritating to the person on the receiving end. I will stay attached to people I don't like that much to avoid conflict (and being alone), but without giving them all of myself -- "let's be friends, but at a distance." The only way people break through this long, 6ish evaluation is to prove in some way that I can trust them -- then I feel okay with attaching completely and being a loyal and true friend. Most people, though, get held at a distance, given ambivilant answers, and there's a sense of me not being fully present to them in a detached, thinkery way.

I've also noticed that 6s ask a ton of questions, myself included. Half the time, I don't react the way others want me to, I just frown and ask clarifying questions to try and discern if this thing they are saying is even true. I don't want to overreact or even react if it isn't true. I can stay unemotional and ask about the facts -- how did this happen, what did they say, why did they say that, etc. Trying to figure it out, and think my way through it, and assign a reason to everything. That is what sticks out to me the most with 6 and even 5 -- we have to understand everything and make sense of it somehow, we can't just accept that "this person is unstable" or "they are just a jerk." WHY are they a jerk? Why did they say that about me? How did I give them that impression? Basically, rather than feeling things, or allowing myself to fully feel them, I over-think about them.

I am also consciously aware, every minute of every day, of drowning in my own over-thinking and uncertainty, now that I know I am doing it. I catch myself wanting to re-think things that are no longer relevant or important, because they are dead and gone. I catch myself making a decision and then second-guessing it. I catch myself when I am tired feeling anxious and like something bad is going to happen. I catch myself wondering what I should have said when.... It's like my brain is an engine on full throttle from the second I wake up until when I go to sleep at night, and it's primary command is THINK! THINK! THINK! It's a bit exhausting, to be honest.

#question #enneagram #enneagram 6

[jamieroxxartist]

It's about the Stupidest thing ever! This Culture War & Talk of Civil War…

You know the last time we had a civil war, the issue was a bunch of folks wanting to OWN and Exploit other people. That was incredibly idiotic and pretty bad. However, now folks are 'Hold my Beer': Because this time up it really boils down (potentially) to Aunt Karen and Uncle Chad being squeamish over someone's preferred pronouns; What church someone goes to; What neighborhood someone can buy a house in; What happens in someone else's bedroom; Who is going to pick the Vegetables (that no one else wants to pick) and body autonomy.

"In political science, a culture war is a type of cultural conflict between different social groups who struggle to politically impose their own ideology (beliefs, virtues, practices) upon their society.

In political usage, the term culture war is a metaphor for "hot-button" politics about values and ideologies, realized with intentionally adversarial social narratives meant to provoke political polarization among the mainstream of society over economic matters of public policy and of consumption. As practical politics, a culture war is about social policy wedge issues that are based on abstract arguments about values, morality, and lifestyle meant to provoke political cleavage in a multicultural society"

All of this is happening at the same time that 99% of the population is walking around with a computer in their pocket that gives them access to all of human history and experience.

I have never seen such an asinine thing! I don't know if this whole thing is just Stupid as much as it is Lazy! Them and Their is the hill where these folks are making their stand?

(image by: © Sarah Mazzetti https://sarahmazzetti.com )

[kaesileigh]

The harder lessons...

I am learning that:

I am not for everyone. Not everyone is for me. Energy alignment is vital. So often I project my desires of who and how I want someone to be FOR me and notice myself changing for them--changing to be who I think they want/are attracted to. No, stop this. I feel the betrayal to myself from these experiences deep in my soul. It's uncomfortable at best, excruciating at worst. A constant hustle. Sacrificing true connection to fill loneliness/to keep from feeling loneliness.

I am learning my patterns when I am stressed. When things are not going smoothly (aka not seemingly in alignment). When I am not honest with myself or others about my expectations. When I minimize things that I feel "shouldn't" be a big deal, while holding onto them on an energetic level...indicating that I am not regularly checking in with my body. I attend to my mental body, but even that has been stuck in a rut of habit and unconscious ruminating...or as Michael Pollan (How to Change your Mind) described as the [fuck! I forget the name for it]...the part of the brain that takes over on auto-pilot when conscious thought relaxes...but that's not productive. I strive to get out of "problem solving" mode -- to stop seeing myself as a "problem to be fixed". And get out of this constant unconscious cycle of self deprecation. "For the sake of humility" is really this false humility that's really self-imposed limitations that I was socialized into from a very early age. I aim to be more conscious when I fall into these mental patterns.

I am learning that it would be nice to develop regular rituals of self check-ins. Love letters to myself will help. Daily. Daily affirmations. Power pose. Gratitude practice. All the tools are there. Discipline. Making the CHOICE to change my neural pathways to a more fluid, open, creative, self-loving, loving in general flow.

I am learning that vulnerability expressed is brave.

That a messy house is not indicative of a failure as a human. (What an absurd concept)! Neither is getting into a financial hole. Or getting appointments confused. Or handling a conflict in a less than an ideal way. Or not checking off every box you have for that day...therin, we learn the meaning of grace. Of perfectly imperfect. Of good enough. Of divinely human. Of "welcome to the club". So many people talk the talk--glorify failure as opportunities to grow and make you stronger, etc...yet continue to craft this perfectly curated depiction of their lives on social medias...perhaps we need to curate more depictions of real. of flaws as beauty. Of self love through the real struggles.

I am learning that shadow work is not joke. And we don't always get to choose when it shows up...perhaps we can hold it at bay for a time, until it becomes too uncomfortable to ignore...but that darkness does not diminish the light, it defines it. It is our dark integrated with our light that creates the deepest depths and broadest breadths of our being.

I am learning that I must create. As frustrated as I get at the imperfection, therein lies a lesson. All that triggers us is a lesson yet to be mastered. Pay attention. And creativity can be used in the exploratory process. In the alchemizing of pain and discomfort. In the making sense of the chaos. In the beautifying the experience. That's real, raw poetry. Life as a work of art. Written in the living moment. A living, breathing entity not meant to be contained or controlled. Break free from the chains and cages of conformity. Keep writing until if flows. Keep drawing, cutting, moving, humming, meditating, breathing...it'll come. Patience. and movement. You can only plan so much before it begins to hinder rather than foster progress. Sometimes it's necessary to create a framework and then sometimes it's necessary to just act. Just get started. Create some momentum. So important to learn to discern what's right for me in any given moment. How does that happen? Intuitive check ins. Asking my deep wise self...consulting my council and trusting the guidance.

Practice this. Over and over. Learn the language of my deep wise self and my spirit guides. Learn the quickest way to connect with them. I've learned about myself that so often if I just start writing, answers will come. Wisdom will flow...it may take some time and some chaotic ramblings to get there, but ineffidably, nuggets of wisdom emerge.

Beauty.

Thank you for showing up time and again. Returning to the process time and again. Working through the shit. Determination. You are doing better than you usually give yourself credit for. Breath. Recognize small victories. Stop acting according to how you want to be perceived or believe that you will be perceived, trying to mitigate reactions and create a certain outcome. Act in the present moment with only the intention of being present with what is. Honoring what is. Loving what is. Open to love always.

Open to love always.

Loving what is.

The greatest teacher is the present moment; the only moment, in fact that there ever is. Gratitude for the lessons. Gratitude for the ever evolving moment. We get to begin again constantly with each breath. How cool.

[astroandstuff]

Can you tell me about Lilith squaring pluto, venus, mars (6th) and Uranus (12th). And Pluto (10th) opposite venus (4th), pluto (10th) conjunct moon (10th).

Like it's too much but what do they bring out when interpreted together? Sorry if I wrote too many aspects but I just have these aspects and I keep getting more and more curious about them

Thank you <3

Hey there! So since there are a lot of aspects I'll list traits of each one and then give a short summary of what I think at the end I won't go too in depth with it because that would be a lot.

Also because there are so many Liliths in astrology I’m gonna assume you’re talking about Mean Black Moon Lilith (or just black moon Lilith whatever you wanna call it) which tends to be the most popular I feel.

Lilith square Venus:

Dominant energy

Conflict between desires and aesthetics and potentially confusing the two

Potentially moody or have bad mood swings

Might struggle with knowing what they want in or from relationships

Lilith square Mars:

The idea of autonomy is extremely important

Have great ambition and drive

Potential to react in a hostile manner

Can either be very aggressive or struggle with expressing their anger (or both)

This aspect can be like a volcano if people let it overtake them

Might disregard others opinions and emotions because they value their own opinions greatly

To explain what I meant by volcano people with this placement might repress and repress and repress until they finally erupt and burn those closest to them

Lilith square Uranus:

Rebellious

Creative and original

Follow their instincts

Might have an extreme longing for a purpose in life

Communication may not be their strong suit

Lilith square Pluto:

Ambitious

Prioritize individuality

Sense of self can be extremely affected by outside influences

Might have issues with control

Amazing leadership potential

Pluto opposite venus:

Intense relationships (not just romantic)

Might struggle with feelings of jealousy or possessiveness

If not developed can either be extremely manipulative or easily manipulated

Might prioritize appearances over substance

Pluto conjunct moon:

Intense emotions

Dislike for superficial relationships

Emotions may strongly influence your mood (not just your own emotions)

Might be manipulated by people close to you

So no surprise that a lot of these aspects speak of a dislike for authority and limitations and a want for autonomy I mean we're talking about Lilith and Pluto here. So what I’m getting from all of these together is that you really value your creativity and just the ability to have autonomy. You probably don’t like it when people impose their thoughts or opinions on you. You probably want them to just respect your opinions and ideas and not question them or try to change them it might piss you off a lot actually if they do. But be careful to not completely disregard others because sometimes people just want to know where you're coming from and understand you better. Remember just as you don’t want them disregarding your opinions don’t completely shut them down either. You are an intensely passionate and emotional person who may struggle with what they want and because of that may feel like you aren't expressing yourself in the way you want. This may make you feel a bit misunderstood by others.

Also because you mainly put challenging aspects remember these aspects in astrology aren't inherently bad they're called challenging because they're intended to challenge us. They are present in our lives to help us grow and make sure we don't become lazy potatoes so don't be scared of them they may suck, but they can help us better ourselves.

I hope you enjoyed this please let me know if any of this resonated with you and sorry it took me so long to get to it! As always please remember to be kind to yourselves!

- S 🤍

#astrology #astro observations #astrology community #astro notes #astrology placements #natal chart #natal aspects #lilith aspects #lilith #venus #mars #pluto #uranus #moon #lilith square venus #lilith square mars #lilith square uranus #lilith square pluto #pluto opposite venus #pluto conjunct moon #astro blog #astro asks #astrology observations

[notthatiwilleverwriteit]

Read the latest mafia ask and I got some questions too about that hope you dont mind Don't you think that if he tian will be in a relationship with mo in the future someone will try to hurt mo to get to the He family? because of his relationship with he tian.I hope he tian will not get involved with his familys job.He hates that side and what they do as we seen(but he still used his brothers man on she li)and the only reason I see him working for them or with them is to protect mo or his friends

Good evening, dear anon-san!

This is going to be a rather long answer, so  youbetter get comfy...

“Don't you think that if he tian will be in a relationship with mo in the future someone will try to hurt mo to get to the He family? because of his relationship with he tian.“

I very much think that is a realistic possibility. Mo Guan Shan’s connection to He Tian can get him mixed up in dangerous people, for sure. So far, it’s mostly worked the other way around: HT’s connections and the influence of his family name have ended up saving MGS. But it’s most definitely a delicate balance, and I doubt it’s escaped HT either.

The interesting thing about “connection” is that it comes down to “distance”. And I think physical and emotional distance is an essential part of how Tianshan works both now and in the future. From the beginning, when we were just getting to know HT, it was obvious how isolated he was (130):

The person he was in front of his schoolmates was very different from when he was by himself. The distance and isolation were at least partly self-imposed. HT was very careful about letting others get close to himself both physically and emotionally.

The first time he allowed his solitary to be breached was when MGS came over to make him beef stew (ch. 144): 

HT’s face being hidden in that panel has always been an interesting detail to me. What was going on in his head at the moment? Up until that, I doubt no one besides He Cheng (and maybe Qiu) had much visited HT. Certainly, no one at school knew where or how he was living. The other students didn’t really know HT, and he actively posed as a different person in front of them. He was cheerful, cool and friendly. Living in an expensive and yet sparsely furnished apartment by himself certainly wouldn’t have fitted the image they had of HT. I doubt they would have understood the person HT became in that apartment, either. It was a place where he could drop his mask and be honest about his darkness. I think it’s something special that MGS was the first one to see all that even though he probably wasn’t aware of what he was granted to see.

If you compare that panel to when the rest of the gang came over, the atmosphere is quite different (ch. 186):

But I digress.

As Tianshan has kept developing so has the distance been narrowing between HT and MGS. Despite isolating himself and being guarded, HT was also someone who sought comfort and reassurance in physical contact (ch. 225, 260, 291, 295):

Being physically close is very much associated with feeling safe and secure in HT’s case. It’s as if he’s given himself permission to be needy in that sense. And it’s different from clinging to MGS at every turn by hooking an arm around his shoulders and dragging him along. It’s more private and vulnerable than that.

At the moment, HT seems to think that keeping MGS as close as possible is also the best way to keep him safe (ch 244, 265, 296):

As far as HT sees it, threats and enemies are lurking around every corner. She Li is uncomfortably close without HT being able to do much about it. The fact that MGS won’t back down from fights also requires HT to keep a close eye on him. But as long as HT is around, nothing bad can happen to MGS. And even if something happens, HT is right there to protect him. He’s become a blotch of darkness looming right behind MGS where all his enemies can see him.

HT’s protectiveness also has a strong possessive streak which only enhances the importance of distance. The earrings are a good example of that (ch. 282):

The earrings are a tangible proof of their connection. MGS is under HT’s protection. He belongs to HT, and no one is allowed to touch what is his. Especially people like SL who used to hold power over MGS. By wearing the earrings HT gave, SL’s reign is overwritten.

Now, if you compare that distance - or lack of - to how they seem to be connected in the future, the difference is quite obvious (ch. 224, 271, 313):

Based on the little hints the Christmas specials have granted us, the nature of their distance has shifted. They aren’t physically nearly as connected due to HT being in another country. And it seems like when they can see each other the next time is always somewhat uncertain. HT is also putting a new kind of distance between them by not telling MGS when he’s coming to see him (and probably when he’s going to take off again).

Is this distance as safe as what they had in middle school? If HT has gotten involved in his family’s businesses, does he think it’s safer to stay at an earshot from his family and potential enemies? Rather than sticking close to MGS? If he knows what’s going on instead of being in the dark, he can be proactive? 

It’s also possible HT thinks it’s the safest if he keeps MGS separated from his assumed line of work. But the safety that way of thinking grants is of course on the flimsy side. HT showing up like that is a living, breathing connection between them. Is HT perhaps treating MGS as a safe haven of sorts? I doubt his visits to MGS have remained a secret completely, but perhaps he’s trying to keep MGS hidden from his family? At least hoping they don’t know too much about him? The little storage room and narrow bed are for HT to get away from it all, even for a moment. But will HT be able to have his cake and eat it, too?

As an interesting side note, I think there’s a potential parallel between how HT visits MGS in the future and how HC kept the dog alive and goes to see it (ch. 252):

I think MGS in the future will represent similar things to HT as the dog does to HC. Someone, something, or a place where they can let their guard down and show softness, even vulnerability. They have both saved and nurtured something and by being around that something, they can feel better about themselves than in their everyday life. It reminds them that they still have humanity left in them.

“He hates that side and what they do as we seen(but he still used his brothers man on she li)“

That conflict between how HT despises his family and yet utilizes its strength when it suits him surely is interesting and something I’ve always wondered. It almost looks like even he himself is torn despite his seemingly strong resolve. Regardless of everything, they’re still his family. His interactions with his father and brother raise the question of how difficult and painful HT actually finds it trying to separate himself from them. And what compromises he’s willing to make to avoid it.

When HT went to see his father, it seemed like he was still holding at least some hope that they could reach some kind of understanding (ch. 251):

What was he going to ask his father? Did the mind games Mr. He was yet again playing with him (by not showing up), convince HT that getting the answers wouldn’t be necessary? He knew what he wanted to do and what his father happened to think it about didn’t matter.

And yet even if HT dismisses his father, it doesn’t seem like Mr. He took his threats at all seriously (ch. 251):

Mr. He probably realizes HT is conflicted. But rather than trying to force him (which I’m sure he’s tried already), he’s changed tactics. He’s allowed HT to seemingly have his way which is meant to show HT how impossible his goals are. He can set out to save the world all he wants, but the truth is he doesn’t have the resources by himself. And it seems Mr. He has managed to prove his point at least once already. I don’t see why that couldn’t also be the reason why HT is in another country in the future.

The interesting problem about that would be for how many people HT is buying safety by presumably working with his family. What about all the other people suffering at the hands of his father and the likes?

Even a stronger hold than that is probably HT’s complex love-hate relationship with HC (ch. 168, 229, 252, 260, 266):

On the surface, HT is bratty towards HC and HC lets him take out his feelings on himself. But deep down, I think the idea of cutting ties with his brother is much more painful and impossible than HT would admit out loud. HC might have become the kind of person HT hates the most, but I don’t think HT has lost hope in him despite saying so. He probably desperately wants HC to follow him, and it’s that hope that keeps him still hanging on. He doesn’t want to jump off the boat by himself. And in return, HC is probably one of the very few people who hold actual power over HT.

What I’m trying to say is HT is perhaps more hangup on his family than one would think. That’s why he’s kicking and screaming so much. Because losing hope is difficult and it hurts.

In the meantime, he seems to have settled with using his family’s strength for good. I think this panel sums it up pretty well (ch. 267):

HT being backed up by his brother’s strength to fight evils that aren’t his family. It’s probably his relationship with HC that allows this kind of leeway. I doubt Mr. He would have granted HT such favors without demanding something in return. HC, on the other hand, has always understood his brother’s struggle despite not feeling like he can support him directly. So, even if HC can’t allow HT to have his way, he can at least help keep his friends safe. From threats that aren’t the two families, that is.

“the only reason I see him working for them or with them is to protect mo or his friends”

In short, I would say the same. He’s already kind of doing that, though. HT has had to make concessions because as strong as he might be, there are powers against which even he can’t win. At least, not yet. And I kind of like that. The fact the HT isn’t invincible and can’t do whatever he wants makes it more realistic. There are still rules (albeit evil and meant to hurt other people) to which even he has to submit.

But of course, we know that isn’t going to stop HT, merely slow him down a little. Just because he can’t stop HC trying to take JY and keeping tabs on him and his friends, he sure as hell is going to be the stubborn thorn in their flesh (ch. 168, 287):

Your questions, dear anon-san, were weirdly fitting because I have (yet again) been thinking about the future dynamic of Tianshan. I’m planning a Tianshan AU which revolves around the themes of committing bad things, punishing ourselves for our sins, being forgiven and getting absolution only to rinse and repeat the same cycle again. Who judges our sins fairly; ourselves or someone else? Who decides when we have atoned enough? I think some of those questions and themes also fit the canon version of Tianshan and whatever bits and pieces we know about their future. Especially, if HT will be more connected to his family when he’s older and yet be in a relationship with MGS.

Thank you for your questions, dear anon-san!

#19 days #tianshan #He Tian #mo guan shan #He Cheng #mr. he #answered ask

[dailyaudiobible]

05/12/2021 DAB Transcript

1 Samuel 12:1-13:23, John 7:1-30, Psalm 108: 1-13, Proverbs 15:4

Today is the 12th day of May welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it is a joy and a privilege and an honor to be here with you today as we move through the center of a week together. It’s been quite an adventurous week in the Scriptures. We’ve kind of changed eras in the Old Testament. We now have a king in Israel, the very first king to unite the tribes together under one ruler. The prophet and priest and final judge of Israel Samuel has anointed this king and his name is Saul and we’re starting to get glimpses of Saul. He…he is an imposing figure according to the Bible, a very handsome man, taller than anybody else. So, he looks the right part. He looks like a king. He…like he fits the imaging that they're looking for but he kinda has an Achilles' heel that we’re beginning to see, and he’s really, really concerned about what people think. And that's okay, like to be aware, but he's like really trying to find his identity. Like, he’s kind of afraid, kinda timid in that area, which is a difficult characteristic to carry with you if you’re…if you’re a king, like if you…the power of life and death is in your hand and you lead a nation. So, let's dive back in. Let’s continue our journey as we get to know Saul because in getting to know Saul, we also see a mirror and we can see a lot of these different characteristics in our motives and some of the things that we do. And Saul then becomes an example to us, a teacher to us that shows where the pathways go. So, we’re reading from the Voice Translation this week. First Samuel 12 and 13 today.

Commentary:

Okay. So, in the book of first Samuel we’re…we’re nearing the end of…of Samuel's life. And, so, he's brought all the people together to basically…like he's basically putting himself out there saying, “if I have anything against anyone…if anyone has anything against me let’s settle this. Like, let's get all of our accounts in order. I don't want anything between me and anybody else.” And the people absolve him. They say, “you’ve never done anything wrong to us.” And, so, he's clear and he's clean and so we’re kind of seeing a resolution of Samuel's life and ministry kind of moving its way to a conclusion, even as king Saul begins to establish his reign. And, so, they're working together. Samuel's the prophet, Saul’s the king. There's some situations going on with their enemy the Philistines. There’s a battle that's gonna happen and the Israelites are very outnumbered, and Samuel’s supposed to come offer a sacrifice and we…we just read all this. In the end it's king Saul that does the sacrifice and just like that, Samuel arrives, and the kingdom is stripped away from Saul. So, it’s like, it's going to take some time for Saul to lose his grip on the kingdom. And he's gonna basically be losing his grip on his mind in the process. But this is the beginning of the end, even as it just gets going. Saul was afraid of the circumstances. He was outnumbered by an army. He was afraid of his reputation. The people were slinking off away from the battle lines while they waited for Samuel. We already saw Saul hiding in the baggage at his…at his coronation as King. So, we’re really seeing these characteristics emerge. There…there just right there in front of us in the story and we can sort of see why things are beginning to fray for Saul. What we…I mean…we see a number of different kinds of behaviors and situations here but what we’re ultimately talking about is the fear of man. Like, Saul is exhibiting that he fears man more than he fears God and God's instructions to him. And there's plenty right there just in that one concept alone for us to do some examination of our own hearts and lives because what we fear, like what we revere and fear, this creates our motivations, which eventually creates our actions, which eventually creates our life. And, so, as we continue this journey through First Samuel and the story of Saul, let's…let's do the work. Let's consider, let's examine ourselves, let's observe ourselves. How are we being pulled in different directions? What is causing that? What are we afraid of? What is pulling us toward situations where we are compromised because we’re afraid of what people are gonna think or what it's gonna look like?

Prayer:

Holy Spirit, we invite You into that because yes, indeed it is important that we pay attention to the needs of others around us, that we are aware, like that we’re not just self-absorbed and only paying attention to ourselves in complete selfishness. Yes, our impact on others does matter just like their impact on us does matter. But this is deeper than that. This is where our allegiances, this is who we’re going to obey, this is who we fear. And often, and we have to confess, often it's anything but You. Often like what we were talking about from Proverbs yesterday, often we’re not slowing down enough to even pay attention to what we’re fearing or where our allegiances are. We’re just…life is moving so fast; we’re just trying to get everything done and communication is so fast that we are almost only ever reacting when…we don't…it doesn't have to be that way. We can choose another path, which is exactly what You came to show us Jesus, is that there is another path, a narrow one. Help us find it Holy Spirit, we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it’s the website, it’s where you find out what's up, what's happening around here. It's how you stay connected to each other and what's going on around here as we make the journey through the Bible.

If you are using the Daily Audio Bible app that works as well. There is little Drawer icon in the upper left-hand corner and that will get you to places like the Community section. This is where the Prayer Wall lives. It is also how to get connected on different places on social media where we are also connected. And that's a good idea in case we need to put an alert out or something like that. So, check that out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, if this…if this mission to bring the spoken word of God read fresh every day and delivered to the world freely for whoever will listen to it wherever they may be on this planet any time of day or night…ahh…and to build community around that rhythm so that we’re on a journey together and we know that it's not solitary, and we know that we’re not alone. Yeah, that's the mission here. That's the Global Campfire. And if that makes a difference in your life than thank you for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner, or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, which is the little red button up at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello this is Catherine from Maryland calling for a couple of things today. Number one, Walta I join you in praying for the people of Chad for the challenges in Africa with Bocca Huran or other conflicts or other instigations of conflicts and we just pray for peace. We pray for provision, we pray for calm, and for protection, especially for all the Christians there and…and peace across…across faiths. So, I join you in that and then I wanted to say it was great to hear your voice Alexander son of Annette Allison. We have heard of you over the years and have been praying for you. And I…I…I love hearing you I loved hearing your story about the funny Sneezing Jesus Brian story. And…and you…you definitely sound like your mom, you have the…her same laugh. So, anyway, it was wonderful to hear from you. I think you are now out if…if I remember some of the prayers directly. So, we just pray for you too as…in your reentry and…and every day to come...

Hi, I’m calling for Maya, from Palm Springs California. You called in seeking guidance and wisdom concerning your unplanned pregnancy. And hon, I just want to let you know people are praying for you. I heard this on the community prayer for DAB. And yeah, you know, when these kind of things happen it changes your whole life. And, so, you just have to be open to that. So, whether you choose to keep the child and raise the child yourself or whether you put the child up for adoption, having children is a precious and a valuable thing and something to be very, very highly regarded. Maybe the most important thing or highly regarded thing that’ll ever happen in your life. And of course, I would encourage you not to…not to terminate the baby, of course. So, sweetheart, just want…just want to let you know that people are praying for you, that the Lord would give you great wisdom and peace. And you…yeah…you are not alone in this. Alright, God bless you sweetheart.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible family. It’s Mother’s Day. It’s a beautiful day. Thank you, God for giving so many of us the privilege of being a mom and I lift up all the women who want to be a mom and haven’t…haven’t been able yet, like Hannah. I pray that you would bless their wombs. And that you would give them children Father God. And also, all the…the moms that have lost their kids and that are really hurting today and the moms that are dealing with kids that maybe are in a place of struggle, that you would speak to those kids in those places and bringing them out of the darkness into your marvelous light and let it be a blessing to them. Because you’re the one…you’re the one true God and God you’re amazing because you’re like a mom and dad all together, cause wherever we hurt you’re there for us to love us, to be stern like a dad and loving like a mom. And I’m also lifting up all of the people that are dealing with kids on the autism spectrum today, that it may be really hard for you and your kids may not be able to show up the way that you would like but just…I want you to know that they love you and they appreciate you and you are amazing even if they can’t say it. So, I love you all. Blessings to those daughters and sons that are watching over their moms that are not able to care for themselves. God bless you moms, Treasured Possession.

Good morning siblings it's your little sis His Little Cherry in Canada and I'm praying for a Pew…a pew…haha…pew, pew, pew. It's not even the 4th today. Sorry. Let's begin again, shall we? I'm praying for a few people this morning. And first of all I'm grateful to Mike in North Carolina for calling in and just revealing or exposing the elephant in the room, which is in the Old Testament, is it not so cringey when God commands the annihilation of the people in the promised land including men, women, children and animals. I don't have an answer that for that. I don't have any argument that will settle that question. I mean my three-pound brain has trouble with these cosmic issues. But what I do know is that I've decided to trust Daddy's heart. Scripture tells us that God was in Jesus reconciling the world to Himself. So, Jesus is the revelation of God's heart. His motivations from the very beginning has been to give Himself to save us, to sacrifice Himself so that we can have internal life. And that was His motivation every step of the way. So, I don't understand it, but I believe that…that in Gods big brain, much bigger than three pounds He figured it all out. And Jesus died for each one of those people that were killed in the Old Testament as much as He died for me.

Hey y'all this is momma Dee from Indiana calling in. And I'm just listening on this cloudy rainy Mother's Day. I'm just listening to the prayers from this past week, and I was just really touched by Tamika. Lord, I just ask You right now in Jesus’ name, Lord I just lift Tamika up to You. I don't know what has gotten her into the situation. I don't know what has happened, but Lord she's touched my heart and I know that she is somebody that You love so dearly and so desperately Lord. And, so, I just ask You Lord to touch her. I ask You to touch her situation Lord. I ask You Lord Jesus to bring in the funds, to bring in the finances, to bring in the change that is needed in her life. And Father You know exactly what that change looks like. And, so, Lord, I just ask You to do it right now in Jesus’ name. You are a supernatural God, and You can turn everything on a dime. And Father God I'm just believing and You right now in the name of Yehshua Hamashiach to do just that, to touch her in Jesus mighty name. And Lord, I also want to lift up the man who is sitting in the hospital with his wife. I think her name was Jesse and he's just wanting her to…he's believing in supernatural healing and wanting to be able to enjoy their grandchildren some more. And Lord, I ask You to touch her body, her mind in Jesus’ name. Just touch her. I ask You to bring new life. I ask You to bring health and healing to her Father God so that she can enjoy…joy the grandchildren, the grandchildren can enjoy her, and that she can be there to teach those sweet grandchildren Father God about You, to grow up…that they will grow up and love You through her example. Father God, we just love You and we praise You in Jesus’ mighty name. Amen.

[viren-reader-love]

What would you think about doing one where there is a Pentarchy-wide conference of dark mage guild chapters, and the reader is a fellow mage from another country. Viren and Reader don't meet often, but when they do, they predictably end up drinking, arguing vociferously over the details of their methods, and ultimately hooking up. This occasion is no exception.

There you go! I had a lot of fun writing this :D

Hope you like it.

(Ao3 link)

.............................................................................................................................

Devil or angel? I can't make up my mind

Which one you are, I'd like to wake up and find

Devil or angel, dear, whichever you areI miss you, I miss you, I miss you

Devil or angel, please say you'll be mine

Love me or leave me, I'll go out of my mind

Devil or angel, dear, whichever you are

I need you, I need you...

===

The salty air refreshed your lungs. In the distance, hues of green added color to the crystalline blue infinitude of the ocean.

"Land ahoy!" yelled the first mate, watching the horizon from atop of one of the ship's poles.

"Aye!" Replied the captain, turning the hem. You felt the ship move to the right as it approached the island ahead with a new speed. 

Clutching tight to your shoulder bag, carefully not to lose the precious relic that it contained, you tried to control the butterflies in your stomach. You knew Viren would be there and this simple fact made all those memories resurface. 

Every Mage Fair was the same. Excessive drinking, followed by vociferous arguments about your conflicting opinions and different methods to understand dark magic that, somehow, always end up with you and Viren waking up in the same bed.

Well, not somehow. You knew exactly why it happened. No matter how many lies you told yourself during the invariable hangovers that followed, the attraction you felt for Viren was too strong to be labeled as unintentional, or a simple drunk mistake. 

Despite everything, you were starting to get attached.  Why? Was the only question in your head. Why him? 

Romantics will say it is because opposites attract each other and write countless verses of the ardent passion they can ignite. But they forget about the ugly parts that come afterward. At least that was how it had been for you.

The fair would end, Viren would escort you to the pier and you would sail back to Evenere with only a simple goodbye. No last kiss, not even a hug. And the days that followed were even worse. The letters you would exchange were made by cold and impartial words concerning your duties as High Mages, nothing more. 

As the ship approached the bay, you took one deep breath mentally making a promise to yourself. 

This had to end. 

Today was the day things would change.

===

New faces from all corners of the five kingdoms passed by. The smell of spices and delicious food perfumed the gentle summer breeze and everything was a cacophony of colors, laughs, and songs. 

Elaborate stands dotted the hills as far as the eye could see, each signboard announcing something more interesting than the last. Fireball contest, Antiquery Boutiques, Mirrors of Illusions...

Your feet stopped in front of The Blushing Troll - Bar and Inn, where you and Viren would predictably end up after the Pentarchy High Mage reunion. Despite being only the beginning of the afternoon, the bar was crowded and a line was forming on the outside. 

The large door opened and you spotted Agata, the barkeeper, dragging chairs outside to accommodate her costumers. "Hey, y/n!" she waved.

You smiled walking to help her with the heavy chairs.  "Hi, Agata. Nice to see you again."

"Nice to see you too friend. So, rumor has it that Evenere will blow our minds this year," she winked gesturing to your bag. "I'll prepare a big celebration. Want me to save the romantic suite for you and your hot boyfriend. Or you'll stay at the usual room?"

Your cheeks turned scarlet, knowing fully well she was referring to Viren. "For the last time, he is not my boyfriend."

Agata cackled. "Alright cookie. And I ain't a barkeeper," she playfully punched your shoulder. "See you two tonight alright?"

It was no use insisting on this topic. Agata could be as stubborn as Viren sometimes, so instead, you chose to focus on your earlier promise and said goodbye, resuming your walk to the meeting point where the other High Mages were expecting you. 

===

Two guards stood like statues before the imposing construction that marked the entrance of the Pentarchy Meeting Point. 

"Hold. Present yourself," one of them ordered, gesturing for you to stop.

"Lady y/n. High Mage of Evenere," you said, giving the guard your invitation sealed with Evenre's royal symbol.

The guards then stepped aside, giving you free passage to the seemingly endless white steps that lead to the Meeting Point, located atop the tallest hill.

Almost out of breath, you finally arrived. Burgundy flags with the bright red symbol of Dark Magic hanged over the five chairs, binding the kingdoms, so vast and diverse, with one common interest. 

All the other four mages were already in their sits, except for Viren. "Lady y/n," he bowed. "So glad that you are finally here. We are all very anxious to see what big surprise you have for us," he said with his usual charming tone that made your knees go weak. 

"Well, then I won't keep you waiting any longer," you managed to reply with the formality this situation required, despite the memories of your hot nights with Viren flashing before your eyes.

Walking to the center of the room, your gaze was still glued on him as you began your speech. "Fellow mages, today is a historic day. For generations, dark mages across the five kingdoms used the knowledge passed down by our ancestors to improve humanity's ways. We no longer suffer from famine, deadly plagues or fear the threats that come from Xadia. And, as I'm sure you all know, this was only possible due to the struggles of one man: Ziard ."

The mages of Neolandia, Del Bar and Duren hummed in agreement, but Viren listened to you thoughtfully and you smirked, certain his not easily impressed frame would melt away soon. 

"Everything Ziard new about dark magic was written in three journals. Two were found by Lord Viren but the third was destroyed when Ziard was brutally murdered by Sol Regen. Or so we thought," you paused.

Reaching for your shoulder bag you retrieved a leather journal,  worn-out due to the merciless time. "Here, I present you the last journal of Ziard."

Gasps emerged from the other members, but Viren's reaction was priceless. Even if you hated to admit, you adored his enthusiastic face.

He darted up. "May I?" he gestured to the book and you nodded, letting him take it.

"That is remarkable," Viren mused, carefully turning the thin yellow pages. "Imagine all the secrets it contains, all the lives we could help with this! I don't know how you manage to locate it, but congratulations y/n."

His sharp frame softened when he said your name and for a moment, you thought your head was deceiving you with his sudden kindness. Did he-- did he just complimented you?"

However, this moment was short-lived as Viren continued to speak. "It was about time Evenere did something to contribute to this Dark Mages society. Katolis will be forever grateful for your donation."

"What?!" You said offended.

"Of course! Surely you didn't think the journal would stay with you. Once I return to Katolis I'll provide copies for you all."

"How dare you?! I found it, therefore it's staying at Evenere. You can have the copy," you replied, blood starting to boil. 

"The journal belongs to Katolis' archives, with the other two originals," Viren took a step forward.  Not intimidated, already accustomed to this type of argument, you took a step as well.

"Katolis is not the center of the world Viren. It can not concentrate all knowledge about dark magic."

"So we must hide it in the depth of the swamplands?!"

"Fellows, fellows!" the mage from Neolandia caught both of your attention. "There is no reason to start a war over this. I say we vote to decide who keeps the journal. All agree?"

You two nodded, heading back to your seats but never letting your intense glares drop.

"Now, all of those in favor of the journal staying in Evenere, please raise their hand," declared the mage and to your astonishment, only you voted in favor.

===

With large gulps you drained the beer from your large mug, slamming it against the balcony of The Blushing Troll.  

After your glory was snatched from your hands, you had to sit through the rest of the afternoon and watch Viren and the other brag about their discoveries and theories and, of course, Viren had to bring a three-dimensional presentation. Again! 

Mind in a frenzy, fuming, doing your best not to let rage overtake your actions, you powered another drink and turned back for the hundredth time to see Viren, also drinking and enjoying the evening with the other High Mages. 

"Look at him," you said to Agata, "so full of himself. Think he's the greatest mage that ever lived. Bet two silver coins that after a few shots, he's going to start crying and saying he loves them."

You moved to fill your sixth...seventh cup? But Agata stopped you. 

"Alright cookie, that's enough for tonight," she said, taking the mug from your hand.

Ignoring her, you snatched a bottle from a random person, taking another big gulp. "This was supposed to be the year of Evenere. This was supposed to be my moment," your drunk nagging continued, "he already has Zirad's staff and killed the king of the dragons. Why can't he let me be on top for once."

"Huh, interesting," Agata tilted her head, looking at Viren as well, "he always seemed like a bottom to me."

"No, totally. Bottom confirmed. But--" you shook your head, realizing where this conversation was going. "Focus Agata. Ok? Focus. I'm being wronged here."

"Cookie, are you sure the journal is the only reason you are mad?" she asked with a kind, motherly tone. 

Yes, you were mad about the journal. Heavens know how hard it was for you to find it, and letting this relic be part of Evenere's public archive would be good for the local mage community. 

But there was something else, a deeper feeling that intricated like a spider web, trapping you in it. 

You were caught between the duality of strongly hating and desperately wanting to cave in to his charms. Every time your gaze found him your body screamed. It begged for you to kiss him, to have him underneath you right now. To bury your face against the side of his neck and just nuzzle in it. To hear his moan, paint and gasp against your ear as your hips rocked and his hands squeezed you tight... 

Yet, every time your head would also say no, remembering how cold the morning after could be. How he would treat you like a stranger and how every little thing was reason enough for a fight. 

It was like being on fire while still being frozen. 

"I just don't know anymore. I think it's best if I called the night." 

Getting up, you asked for the keys to a room, not caring if they were the usual, or the special suite, or just the keys to the storage room. You just wanted to lay down, close your eyes and wait for this terrible day to end.  

Stumbling down the corridor, spiling your drink everywhere, your weak legs betrayed you. You see the ground coming fast, but only a second before the painful impact, a pair of strong, familiar arms held you.

"For heaven's sake, how many drinks did you have?" Viren's face twisted, probably smelling the intoxicating smell of booze that you weren't sure anymore if it was yours or his.  

Your hands tried to break away from his embrace but, instead, they just staid there, feeling the curve of his muscles.

"Just a--" a hickup cut your words, "just a few. I'm fine."

"I have never seen you this drunk. You are not fine," Viren insisted. You squinted, trying to discern if his face was actually worried, or was your vision that was getting blurry. 

And right when you were about to repeat that you were fine, nausea crawled your throat. Arching, you stained Viren's boots.

"Means nothing," you pointed a weak finger at him while wiping your mouth with the hem of your sleeves. 

Viren huffed. "Alright. Let's get you out of here before you ruin somebody else's boots too." Sliding his arm under your legs, he then carried you bridal style to the Inn of the Blushing Troll. 

===

Sitting on the toilet, face slouched on your palms, you watched Viren take a tiny bottle containing a thick pink fluid from his side pocket.

"Drink it," he ordered. "This potion will stop your nausea."

"I know what a sickness-killer is," you replied snatching it from his hand. The thick fluid descended your throat like honey, immediately extinguishing the bubbling feeling in your stomach.

Viren raised a brow at you. "Feeling better?"

Out of spite, you crossed your arms and looked away. "A little too sweet for my taste. I prefer my version of the potion."

He scoffed. "Unbelievable. I get out of my way to help you and this is how you thank me? You are even more annoying when you are drunk."

"If you despise me so much, why are you doing this??" your tone was deadly serious and a heavy silence fell. 

There was a tremor in your hands as your heart pumped hard against your ribs. Your eyes stared at him, frightened of Viren's response yet eager to hear it. 

But Viren's features were a conflicting mixture of gapes and choked words.  And anger sneaked into your blood like poison as the silence increased. Yanking your hands into his shirt, you brutally pulled him closer.

"Answer me," you growled. Noses almost touching, Viren's hot breath mingled with your fuming. "Answer me!" you repeated.

Viren slumped, burying his lips in yours. His fingers dug into your hair as your mouths moved wildly, kissing each other hungrily. He started to pull you forward, guiding you out of the bathroom.

When your legs hit the bed, you climbed over him.  Lust pulsed throughout your entire being as Viren laid beneath you, staring back with the same need.

"I'm going to rip that answer out of you. I'm going to make you say it." You said before kissing him again. Tongues plunging, sliding deep while hands ran along every inch of your bodies.

Going lower Viren hurriedly helped you unbuckle his purple broach and remove his vest. He started to pull his black shirt up, but you stopped him. Pushing his arms over his head, you let them stuck there, exposing only his chest and face. "Keep them there," you sensually said. 

Leaning, you brushed your mouth against his but denied another kiss, moving to suck and bit the side of the neck.  Your skin shivered as it brushed against his beard.

Viren started to push his hips up, moaning quietly in your ear. You moved to remove his boots, pants, and underwear and your whole body blushed at the sight of his throbbing cock, curled, touching the base of his stomach.

You just... stared at it. 

"Y/n..." Viren said your name in a weak cry. 

"I think I should leave you like this," you said with a devilish smile.

"WHAT?!" It sounded more like a sign of desperation than a question and you simply love it. 

"It's what you deserve anyway..."

"Y/n!" Viren started to hustle, trying to take his shirt off but you quickly stopped him, mounting him again. 

"You're not moving until I hear you say it." You repeated. It was hard to control your urgers to stripe your clothes and just own him, ride him until he came undone.  But you simply had to hear him say it. 

If he loved or hated you, you simply needed to hear it. 

You began to move up and down slowly. Your pants grinding against his erection provided a blissful friction.

"You terrible...ahh!--ssstubborn...aaah--sssexy wonderfull," Viren managed to say between his heavy pantings, "I--I"

Your body increased the seep and an animal sound escaped him. "I need you I want you y/n please!" 

Finally, the words came out of him in a desperate begging. Not being able to hold your desires any longer, you yanked your clothes off. Viren untangled himself from his shirt and adjusted himself on the bed. Grabbing you by the waist, he put you back on top of him, shoving his cock inside you.

A deep moan snaked out of your throat as you felt that gratifying pressure. You laned forward and between sloppy kisses and pantings, both of your hips moved, going deeper, harder. 

“That’s it...come on...so good...," you said, gaze glued on Viren's wobbly, melting face. 

"Y/n yes....I need you...AH!" 

As your bodies attacked each other, stripped from all pride and shame, you reached sheer ecstasy. "I'm yours..."  you whispered, mind in another plane, every nerve like a bolt of lighting as Viren also gasped in his orgasm.  

Resting your foreheads together,  still interlaced, you both relearned how to breathe, letting the hotness of your climax slowly fade. 

===

The morning came. A sharp pain smashed against the walls of your skull like an angry tide, and the rays of sunshine were enough to burn your retinas as you waited in line to bord the ship that would take you back to Evenere.

Even with this cursing hangover, the events of last night played clearly in your mind. Every action, every word. What remained unclear was the truthiness of it all. 

Wich was why you didn't wait for Viren to wake up. You couldn't take him saying everything was another drunk mistake again. It would hurt too much. 

The plank fell with a heavy thud, bridging the pear to the boat. But before you could take another step, you heard Viren's voice calling for you.

"Y/n. Wait!" 

You never thought you would see Viren in such a state. The browns and whites of his hair were tangled in a ridiculous mess of impossible angles, his beard, once neatly in place, was now all fuzzy and puffed. His shirt was wrongly buttoned and the lace of his boots still undone.

"Viren what on earth are you--" 

"Stop," Viren raised his hand. "I need you to just stop and listen without interrupting because if you do I-- I don't think I'll ever regain the courage to say this again."  There was a deep fragility in his gaze and his voice didn't carry the usual confidence. Worried, you let him take you to an isolated corner.

After a deep inhale, Viren continued. "Y/n, what I said last night, about wanting you...it wasn't just the reflection of alcohol. I, really, truly want you.   You understand magic in a way so different from mine. But it is challenging, it is exciting! And when the realization of my feelings for you finally came, I panicked. I was scared to have someone new in my life. Because in these last years, all the people I ever loved seemed to get hurt. My wife, Queen Serai... Harrow. Even my relationship with my son is falling apart!"

Viren closed his eyes, breathing deeply again before holding your hands. "I was scared that if I brought you into my life, I would somehow end up hurting you. So I tried to push you away but it was so, so hard. Every time we met I just wanted to hold you, have you next to me. And it was in this fruitless attempt to protect you that I ended up hurting you even more. It was stupid I know. Can you ever forgive me?"

Your hands moved to gently cup his face. Viren easily leaned forward and your lips met in a kiss. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that a thousand words could never be. Viren's hand rested below your ear, his thumb caressing your cheek as your fingers ran down his spine, pulling him closer until there was no space left. The soothing sound of the ocean mingled with the beating of your heart, strong and passionate. 

Pulling away, you looked up and Viren's frame was renowned.  There was joy, and you could feel the love that played in his subtle smile and soft gaze. 

"Does that mean you will stop criticizing my way to do magic?" Viren asked.

"Only if you promise me you won't bring another three dimensional for the next year's fair. That trick is getting old Viren."

"It's my trade mark."

"No, it's not."

"How about we discuss this at breakfast?" Viren suggested. "Maybe we can plan a presentation together. Perhaps travel in search of another relic for Evenere..."

"Yes. I would love that," you replied.

So hand in hand you two head back the Blushing Troll. Things had finally changed and you knew, for now on, it wouldn't be easy waters, but for Viren, you would continue to sail, both ready and excited for the start of this new chapter in your lives.

#viren x reader #viren-reader-love #lord viren #viren

[markwhitwell]

Mark Whitwell Interview: Don't Be In Conflict With Yoga Society

Wendy Wright

Wendy is a mother-of-two based in Toronto. After initially training in dance, she became a yoga teacher for children and elderly people. She is passionate about learning more about the wisdom of our bodies and baking.

Wendy: Hi Mark, thanks for coming on today.

Mark Whitwell: You're welcome. Good to see you.  

Wendy: I'd like to talk about something I've been struggling with lately. Which is, a sense of conflict with what I see in the yoga world around me. I just see so many strange mash-up of dance and movement and feel good therapies and stretching and then it all gets called yoga, and I've been part of this myself and I don't feel good about it anymore. And more and more there seems to be a lot of stuff out there shaming people for appropriating yoga and such, but meanwhile, people are enjoying these hybrids and get quite defensive. What's your experience here.

Mark Whitwell: Yeah thanks Wendy, I hear you on that. None of its valid. Or at least, it's not yoga it's lots of other things being called yoga and people are getting a little high off that and maybe feel a little bit better. It's the early days of yoga in the West and it's all a big experiment. The young students of Krishnamacharya popularised these very physical harsh male gymnastic practises, and they spread all over the world. And then, on the other hand, you have the practise is spread by Hindu missionaries which demand celibacy and so on. And so either way people haven't really been given a practise that fulfils the promises of yoga. They sense there is something more there waiting for them. And so they start trying to add this and that.

But what is needed to be added is not somatic this and trance dance that, it is the actual principles that the guru of those young men (Iyengar and Pattabhi Jois) Actually taught. I have seen people with decades of experience in those systems add the breath principles that krishnamachari are taught, and they are away. They're playing with a full deck of cards.

Wendy: But people are very attached to doing what they're doing and calling it yoga they don't like to hear that maybe it's not.

Mark Whitwell: Yeah fair enough, and that’s fine. It might have given them a little bit of relief, something positive in their life, some endorphins, like a glass of wine gives relief. We can't begrudge anyone for their sincere explorations. the problem is people start to identify with Wat ever has helped them, and that's when they get stuck because actually, Yoga is about dissolving those identifications so you can stand in your own ground as life itself not as any lesser conceptual categories. What we are talking about here is something more than feel-good gatherings.

Wendy: So what do you do when people righteously insist on their right to define yoga as whatever they feel like it is. For example, they feel good dancing around the room or walking their dog and so they say “that's my yoga.”

Mark Whitwell: Well, what I would say to them is different from what I would say to you. You have to create a relationship with people where they are at and honour their sincere attempts to feel better. That is Life’s intelligence happening. However silly. The goal is not to prove anyone wrong but to make some space for them to actually try what will truly help them. And you can't teach anyone anything until you love them. So what you do is you do your own yoga, your own relationship with life, until you're able to relate with them sympathetically and not react or try to win the argument. Sometimes when people get a little bit of knowledge about Yoga, they can become awful to be around because they start trying to prove to everyone else that what they're doing is superior and it puts everyone else’s back up. So there's no need for that. Everyone is the power of the cosmos and doesn't need to establish imaginary dominance over others in any way. So the main thing is to do your own Yoga. And if that's happening actually, naturally, and non-obsessively, people will notice. You'll find that some people have an organic curiosity about what you're up to. There's no need to get into arguments at dinner parties. I say, “when do you teach? When you are asked to teach.” If someone is not asking you then there's no need to impose on them. There needs to be some receptivity there. But of course, that request might not be a request for yoga it might just be a request for help. And yoga is the help that you have to offer.

Wendy: Do you think that tendency to want to own and define yoga is a western thing?

Mark Whitwell: Absolutely. The western mind wants to define everything, put it in the box, own it. My teacher Desikachar said that “In the West, whilst they don't accept authority, they would like to be the authority.” So yes, we can say that there is a colonial impulse there that takes yoga, changes it out of all recognition, and then angrily fights for its right to do so. That is attracted towards very materialistic, aggressive physical practice, such as what Iyengar taught, and then gets injured, blames “the Indian tradition” rather than its own ambition and habit of struggle, and then says we need physios and anatomy to make it ‘safe.’ The Western saviour complex that thinks it can come along and improve this poor inadequate indigenous thing called yoga, that can’t be very good because brown people made it up. As if they were not thousands upon thousands of years of sublime history there. Think about the sages wandering that great land while Europe went through two world wars… Anandamayi Ma, Sri Aurobindo, the Mother, Ramakrishna and Sarada Devi, Bhagavan Nityananda, Shirdi Sai Baba, Ramana Maharishi… completely extraordinary. But we won’t gain anything from trying to point this out to anyone who is doing it. Because why are they doing that? They’re just trying to feel better in the cultural patterned way they know-how, which is over-stimulation and entertainment, possession and ownership. So what is the underlying need there? Intimacy. Feeling connected. Wanting to feel better. So what we can do is share the tools of the tradition that have been left behind that do actually make people feel better. The tendency to just get into fights about what yoga is, is part of the same cultural mess, the same illusion of separate mind vs separate mind. You are not a separate individual, you are Reality. And your Yoga is your daily participation in this fact. Whether they are informed about Yoga and yoga traditions, or uninformed, people are still troubled by the same thing which is our reaction to experience. And so reacting to the reactions doesn’t help. It just makes more of a mess. You have to step-free and live your life, share the actual tools, create something. Don’t worry about whether you succeed or fail, just keep going. Don’t worry if you’re misunderstood.

Wendy: I feel so pained teaching yoga and being associated with it all, I have thought many times about quitting teaching because it’s all become such a circus.

Mark Whitwell: That's a beautiful honest confession. Thank you for your sincerity and vulnerability. Please don't stop teaching, because these qualities are needed in the world. We need people who aren’t just selling shoddy goods to the public, selling patterns to people who genuinely need help and are coming to you for help. We need people who are willing to share their knowledge of the precise technology of Yoga that Krishnamacharya brought through from the ancient traditions. There are only three qualifications to teach: that you have a good teacher, you practice yourself, and you care about others. And you, Wendy, have all those three. And so you must teach. You know it. You have a treasure and I guarantee that you can’t help yourself but share it. It’s like having some food and there are hungry people around you, you want to share it. And when you see the circus going on, don’t be in reaction to it. It doesn’t define you. What you are doing has nothing to do with all that. Don’t waste your energy on it. Let it motivate you to be even more determined to share things that actually help at a deeper level, not just make people feel good for five minutes and then grind along as usual. Everyone has a heart. At some deep level, everyone wants to step out of the cycles of numbness and stimulation, distraction and repression, excitement and despair. Even if it seems to you like everyone just wants gymnastics and a talk circle, don’t despair. Share what you know to be true and a few good souls will find you. Do not worry about who comes and goes and whatever their karmas are. Don’t take it personally.

Wendy: It seems to me that part of the problem is that people don’t admit just how much they are really suffering. It’s like it’s shameful or something, and there’s just this surface level of smiles and laughter, with all this anger and pain underneath.

Mark Whitwell: Absolutely. That's part of the teacher’s role in the traditions, to see that people think they're at a feast, and really they’re in a kind of desperate hell realm. The glamour has to wear off the illusions. As people relax and start feeling into the real state of the body, as they start regaining their natural sensitivity, they become sober and realise that what looks like an exciting party from the outside is actually a desperate scene of suffering and seeking. No one has to take my word for it, they notice it for themselves. They stop being enamoured of the drunken party. A person starts a yoga practise and starts to feel for themselves how they have been imposed upon by culture. It's a shock. But it becomes further motivation for their practise. To participate in something different then the identity of the limited individual that they have been sold.

So as a teacher you absolutely don't have to try and convince anybody that they are suffering. First of all, you just acknowledge your own suffering. You really honour everything you have been through and every persona that you have been that got you to where you are today, the modern survivor. You thank them all. And you forgive them all for whatever they had to do to survive. And then you just share the breath with people and you share your recognition of them as a valid person, as life, as something that isn't the limited identity they might have bought into of winner or loser or whatever. You make it clear that you are interested in them as a person no matter what they are feeling. Your own practise gives you a capacity of feeling, that you can receive them, no matter what their feeling. You can only receive anyone as deeply as you receive yourself. If they're down you don't try and cheer them up just because you can't handle it. You help them make space for reality. And that helps them make space for Reality capital R, the fact that we are always looked after, nurtured and supported in this life. That life is nurturing. You can tell people this, sure, but the most important thing instead you feel the truth of it and you share the practical means for them to feel the truth of it.

Wendy: Thank you, Mark. I feel like there is potential here to step out of a kind of purity spiral, where I never feel like I’m good enough as a Yoga teacher, never feel like I know enough like I should have more qualifications, read more ancient texts.

Mark Whitwell: Again, thank you for this beautiful vulnerability. There are so many feeling the same thing whom you speak for. It’s just our old patterning from school and culture of not good enough, old identify of being lacking, just a hangover of these old patterns. Some of them might hang around for a while, but you know that you ARE in fact the power of the cosmos, you acknowledge this daily. You make some new grooves in your mind. You don’t get stuck in reaction even to your own patterning. You have those three qualifications that I spoke about earlier and look, I can tell that you really do care about people. You have all kinds of people coming to you, and you really do care about each one. Thank you so much for caring about each person. I know you do. Don’t let these old hangovers hold you back from doing what you can do. Don’t let yourself be intimated by all those climbing up imaginary ladders in imaginary power structures. They get to the top, apparently, and they still feel bad about themselves, they still find themselves looking for power over others. It’s all made up. The teacher is no more than a friend, no less than a friend. Not an authority. Not a knower. Not someone hoarding information and doling it out with the stink of enlightenment, the promise of future realisation. There is no such thing as future realisation.

Wendy: Thank you so much, Mark. I hope other teachers reading this or listening in will feel some relief and inspiration.

Mark Whitwell: Thank you, Wendy. I appreciate your love of the people and desire to get it right for them so much. Thank you.

About:

Mark Whitwell was born in 1949 in Auckland, Aotearoa/ New Zealand. In 1973, he traveled to India and began a life-long study of yoga with Tirumalai Krishnamacharya (1888-1989) and his son, T.K.V. Desikachar (1938–2016). Mark Whitwell’s simple mission is to give people the principles of practice that came through Tirumalai Krishnamacharya to make their Yoga authentic, powerful, and effective. Mark Whitwell is the founder of the Heart of Yoga foundation and the Heart of Yoga Peace Project, an organization dedicated to developing yoga communities in conflict zones around the world. Mark Whitwell lives between New Zealand and Fiji.

#markwhitwell #yoga #heartofyoga #yogalife

[getoffthesoapbox]

hi, i really enjoyed your analysis of vkm 13 ^.^ um... i truly don't mean to start trouble or anything, but i noticed that in the current scanlations that are out, zero's line at the end of the chapter about him wanting yuuki to tell him she was happy with him at the end of his life is translated differently in the chinese scanlation. in the chinese one, it is translated as "and at the end, i'll declare that i was ridiculously happy with you" or something to that effect. 1/2

noticing this discrepancy i looked up the raws and reached out to a friend who speaks japanese to get clarification on this line, and she told me the chinese scanlation translated it right while the english ones are both wrong. so…zero is actually telling yuki that HE’LL be the one to tell her she made him happy, rather than asking HER to tell him. in light of this, how would your interpretation of the chapter/zeki change? thanks so much for your time! 2/2

Why, hello, there, kind friend, thanks for dropping by! I’ve combined both your asks into one, if that’s okay. =)

Your helpful correction here is much appreciated by those of us who aren’t necessarily well-versed in the language, so please don’t feel like you’re imposing! I’m sure translating is tough work, and I’m sure the translators for the groups did the best they could, but sometimes with fan translations you get mistakes and from what I understand Hino’s a bit difficult even for native speakers (hell, even with official translations we’ve gotten mistakes!). ;) Hopefully when AEF gets their scanlation out, it’ll have the correct translation in it (you might want to pop over and check in with them to be sure). 

Anyway, if the Chinese translation’s version of the line is accurate, that does change a few things in my interpretation, but nothing substantial. Here’s what I feel it changes, if you’re interested:

For one, anyone worried about the implications for VKM 4 can now rest their worries, because Zero’s talking about his own wish for his own happiness and his own future, rather than his wish for what he wants Yuuki to do for him.

This correction does change the “tone” of Zero’s line to be less about him unloading his final hope of happiness onto Yuuki and more about him struggling with his own interior conflict: on the one hand, he genuinely wants to be by Yuuki’s side at the end of his life and wants to genuinely say be able to say to her that he was happy, but on the other (as we see in his final lines about her blood which imply he’s no longer satisfied with it) he’s starting to get a wake up call from his own dissatisfaction with their relationship that maybe he might not make it to the end.

The change in interpretation sets us back a bit in terms of whether or not Zero will hit the road soon (it’s still possible by next chapter, but it seems like with this version of the translation we have a situation where he’ll need some time to think through the new revelations he just received about himself from VKM 13′s final scene). So probably what we’ll get instead will be Zero withdrawing more from Yuuki to think (almost a reverse of what Yuuki did to Zero during the 50 year gap in VKM 9) and Yuuki continuing to try to figure out what’s bothering him.

That’s about all I think would change if the line changes. If you have any thoughts yourself, I’d really like to hear them. =) Thanks for reaching out!

#vampire knight #vampire knight memories #zeki criticism #vkm spec #vkm speculation