#i don't want to let anyone uncomfortable

[guardian-angle22]

Felt like putting together a little themed fic rec list! Here are some coda/missing moment fics for 3.07 Red vs. Blue. If I've missed any, let me know and I can add them to the list!

SOFTBALL FOCUSED:

◆ Win or Lose by @heartstringsduet (Words: 8.3K; Rating: E; d/s elements)

What if the softball game ended with nothing but TK receiving his rightful reward for winning? What if Carlos ever so slightly tweaked his plans?

◆ in your corner by @heartstringsduet (Words: 7.1K; Rating: M; d/s elements; part 5 of a series)

Win or lose, Carlos promises to reward TK after the softball game tonight. But all it takes is a single moment to unravel what they’ve built together.

◆ it's hotter than hell where i'm at by @petalwritesx (Words: 1.3K; Rating: M)

“If I would’ve known a softball uniform did this to you,” T.K. says, breathless between kisses, “I would’ve bought one a long time ago.” OR: Before their little award ceremony, Carlos and T.K. have some alone time.

◆ Sex Drive by @welcometololaland (Words: 3.8K; Rating: E)

Carlos has a thing for TK playing softball and TK has a thing for reflective surfaces, apparently. OR A season 3, episode 7 missing scene.

◆ "You love this, don't you?" by @irispurpurea (Words: 403; Rating: T)

Fictober 2022 Day 28. Prompt: “You love this, don’t you?” Missing scene from Red vs. Blue

◆ Gold name and number by @goodways (Words: 3.6K; Rating: E)

“I’m just saying Carlos, it was a simple ‘talk shit, get hit scenario’, the law has no place getting involved,” TK spoke with a tone like he was explaining simple first grade math. “First of all, that’s not true and second of all… no, no I think that’s it.” * Carlos has some feelings about TK in his softball outfit.

◆ Take Me Out to the Ball Game by @chicgeekgirl89 (Words: 1.5K; Rating: T)

He’s seen his boyfriend’s ass in a lot of outfits; his uniform, jeans, slacks, but nothing, nothing tops this. His boyfriend is hot. He’s so fucking hot. Carlos isn’t sure he’s ever seen anything hotter in his entire life.  A follow up fic for 3x07 "Red vs. Blue" in which T.K. wears a new kind of uniform and Carlos likes it. A lot.

◆ your hand under my jacket by @kiras-sunshine (Words: 5.8K; Rating: T)

"You know, I’m grateful you came to watch,” TK hums as he steps into their loft through the door, and immediately turns around to give him one of those wide and brilliant grins, and pokes the peak of Carlos’ cap upwards, “even though it looked like you were trying to be as incognito as possible.

END OF EPISODE FOCUSED (TW: discussions of grief/death/dying):

◆ i can't just bring them back, but darling i can hold your hand by @morganaspendragonss (Words: 2K; Rating: T)

It’s been hours, and TK hasn’t said a word. He hasn’t screamed, or cried, or done anything that Carlos has come to expect from someone who just found out a loved one passed away. He’s just curled up in a ball on the bed, staring blankly at the wall, and that’s where he’s been ever since he walked away from the party like a ghost. * a 3.07 coda/3.08 spec fic

◆ underneath by @kiras-sunshine (Words: 4.2K; Rating: T)

Grief is a powerful thing, and it affects everyone differently, creating unique pain and ache for everyone, and it is always a process, and TK has had his grief only for mere hours. It is still new, growing and invading space in him.

◆ not a victory march by @reyesstrand (Words: 2.8K; Rating: T)

Carlos approaches, still under the assumption that everything is fine because it's supposed to be, and TK feels his eyes start to burn when Carlos asks him to tell his mom he says hi.  Because that's something he's never going to do again.

◆ Surrounded by Love by @bluenet13 (Words: 5.8K; Rating: T)

A look at TK in the days, weeks and months following Gwyn’s passing as he processes his grief with the help of his family and friends. A 3x07 Coda

◆ this weight off your shoulders by @marjansmarwani (Words: 1.9K; Rating: T)

When Andrea Reyes receives a call from her son with terrible news, she makes a promise to a woman she only met once but always felt she knew. A 3x07 Coda

◆ may there be abundant peace by @maxbegone (Words: 2.6K; Rating: N/A)

Carlos sighs. “Baby, I’m so sorry.” “Yeah.” “I’m so sorry.” It warrants no further reply, because at this point Carlos is crying along with him, resting his forehead against his temple and securing his hold even tighter. If he didn’t feel so numb, TK would reciprocate somehow. But this day has been simultaneously a blur and the sharpest image, burned red-hot in his brain. He could relive every single moment in perfect accuracy, he swears. __ An introspective episode coda sometime after the events of 3.07 and 3.08.

◆ No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. by @tkstrrand (4 fic series, Total Words: 13.1K; Rating: G)

TK tries to balance moments of joy with grief/guilt following the months after his mother's passing.

◆ sometimes grief is an open wound - it bleeds and bleeds and bleeds by @morganaspendragonss (Words: 663; Rating: M; TW: Self-harm, Suicidal Thoughts)

His doctor puts him back on his antidepressants and he takes them without complaint, even when sometimes they feel like they’re doing more harm than good. The side effects leave him nauseous for a week, his already unpredictable sleep schedule fucked up beyond repair, but TK dutifully swallows them down every morning, because this means that he’s trying, right? It means that… It means something. It has to.

◆ wrap me up, enfold me by @strandnreyes (Words: 2.3K; Rating: G)

“She’s dead.” Those are the last words he has spoken in at least ten minutes. Now as Carlos sits beside TK on the couch, he isn’t sure what to do. His boyfriend is silent and unmoving, almost hauntingly so, and there’s this vacant look in his eyes that makes him look so unlike himself that it jars Carlos.

◆ Before...And After by Mari_Marie (Words: 256; Rating: G)

TK takes a shuddering breath. He doesn’t remember much about last night, except that he was catatonic after the call, then dissolved an hour later into a sobbing, hyperventilating mess. The only reason he didn’t shake apart was because Carlos had held him.

◆ wrapped in a cloak of misery by @pendragonsandbuckleys (Words: 1.1K; Rating: G)

The phone clattered to the ground only seconds before TK’s knees buckled from underneath him. - a 3.07 coda.

◆ silent answers by @blueink3 (Words: 577; Rating: T)

It’s Paul who notices first because of course he does. “She’s dead.” Who clocks the fact that something has gone horrifyingly, catastrophically wrong. “She’s dead.” “Carlos?” Not ‘hey, man’ or ‘you good?’ Not the casual, easy tone Carlos has come to appreciate ever since that night at the club. It’s diffused more than one high pressure situation, but this -  Nothing can fix this. A coda to 3x07.

#911 lone star #tarlos #911 lone star fic recs #fic recs #fic rec list #ive been meaning to make some themed rec lists for awhile now #i started with this theme simply because I had a good idea for the gif header lmaooo #btw if any author doesn't like to be tagged in things like this for any reason PLEASE let me know #no explanation necessary #I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable

[tearlessrain]

god I wish I could look up ftm stuff without being hit by an absolute deluge of detrans/pregnancy shit in the tags. I viscerally hate both of those things to the point that I mostly just don't go looking anymore because it isn't worth it. would it be so damn hard to not put those things under the regular ftm tag.

I don't blame the people with those kinks for having them mind you, it just feels really inconsiderate to be throwing your "teehee I'm a confused girl" fantasy shit directly into the faces of anyone who searches ftm tags and might already be really fucking tired of hearing that from people who are completely serious.

#considering how much work it is in real life just to get people to stop treating me like Nonbinary Plus™ it's just. must we #why is everyone's first reaction to trans men apparently to find absolutely any excuse to not refer to them as men #I mean I know why it's because we let the terfs con everyone into their whole 'the only correct opinion about men is to hate them' tripe #but still it's annoying and disheartening like no wonder I've got perpetual imposter syndrome #even my fuckin mom after I came out was like 'oh yes you know I've always seen you as more gender neutral' #WELL THAT SUCKS FOR YOU BECAUSE I'M NOT #I HAVE A GENDER. NOT THE GENDER ANYONE APPARENTLY WANTS ME TO HAVE BUT I HAVE IT NONETHELESS #DON'T REALLY CARE ANYMORE THAT IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE NOT BEING ABLE TO SHIT ON MEN AROUND ME #the really annoying thing is that the whole 'trans fetishization' thing (WHEN IT'S CONSENSUAL) can be hot just. #not in the way these people are doing it

[torchickentacos]

#vent post #ok to rb without screenshotting the tags but idk why you'd do that anyways #I'm once again wishing every fellow adult living with their parents a very 'I'm sorry o7' #mom's getting on my case about 'not wanting to be part of the family' #but if dinners are always silent and uncomfortable with all of us not talking then I think it's normal for me to leave the table #when I'm done eating. it's not 'not wanting to be part of the family' it's just not wanting to be somewhere awkward as hell lmfao #like oh okay sorry let me sit here for another fifteen minutes silently bc y'all ignore every conversation I try to start. jesus christ. #goddddddddddddddddddd fuck the housing market lmao #I love my family but I'd like them a hell of a lot more if I didn't live here #a little distance does wonders #anywaysssss sending love to everyone else who is perpetually stuck at home. esp oldest siblings and ill folk 🤝 #we'll get out eventually #no more silent dinners and people who find your optimism and attempts to lighten the mood to be juvenile #stay miserable and pragmatic and 'realist'. no joy or whimsy. fucking whatever. I'm not sinking down to cynicism. #what's the opposite of being the moody black sheep of the family lmao. I'm the only one who seems to enjoy being unserious #ok. vent over but fr anyone else stuck at home when they don't want to be: i love you and we'll figure it out in time. things WILL work out #delete later???

[seaweedstarshine]

You know that time in the comics when the Doctor is so depressed, he shuts off the lights, turns on an interrogation spotlight, locks himself in the console room, and argues with a bunch of judgmental shadow-figures resembling his past incarnations?

And all the TARDIS' lights go out and her interior becomes a maze to keep his companions out of the console room, all from her psychic connection with the Doctor (“moodbleed”)?

And his companions are left wandering in circles for two days as the air goes “stale,” not knowing where he is but thinking the worst, while he hallucinates in a dark room?

...because I'm thinking again about the times this definitely happened when he was with the Ponds.

#when they find him- Rory (one good nurse™) asks neutral questions to check on his emotional state while respecting his space #Amy knows when he's locked himself alone long enough to call River (fortunately Amy talks to her daughter often) #River can calm the tardis and go directly to the Doctor. she sits with him and nods when he rants. she tells him hes loved. #eleventh doctor #11th doctor #doctor who #words by seaweed #(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag #honestly same. I don't want anyone looking at me when im in that way because eyes are very uncomfortable lasers slicing my thoughts #so river doesn't look at him. she looks away and lets him look at her so he knows she's not looking at him. she also does active listening #the shadow-figures in this comic are beyond psychosis coded #emphasis: it isnt presented like some conference of past selves here (which the doctor can't just do anyway- see Power of the Doctor). #and the shadow figures dont have personalities anyway. the way theyre drawn is VERY psychosis coded (as is 11 this whole Si Spurrier run) #this is from Eleventh Doctor Year 2 Issue 3 (set between A Christmas Carol and The Impossible Astronaut) if anyone's wondering #note that he put on his comfort fez I love him #alice obiefune #poor Alice got drove up the wall from wandering in the dark for two days… I think Amy and Rory get to get used to it if they're together #eventually they work out a plan to calm the tardis enough to show them the comfy spot in the bunkbeds to wait and give him space #he joins them in their bunkbed for platonic snuggles. all in the same bunk. Rory doesnt mind. they make sure the doctor knows hes loved <3 #I think- having been percieved as psychotic growing up- Amy would be conscious about making sure the doctor knows she still adores him #I really want this fic to exist

[alexcutecolly]

Favor(e)ite Safe-Nomming Scenarios #1

Featuring Prey A & Prey B as tinies, and Pred as a giant/big monster creature.

Warning: a more cruel/sadistic pred in the alternative endings.

Pred has swallowed Prey A and is now keeping them inside their belly against their will. So Prey B comes up with a plan to rescue A without Pred noticing.

As Pred takes a nap, Prey B manages to carefully crawl inside their mouth and descend into their esophagus thanks to a rope securely tied outside of Pred's maw. When B lands in their stomach they reunite with Prey A and gtfo, climbing all the way up to the throat without waking up Pred.

Alternative Ending 1:

Pred awakes either while B is going down their throat or as they reach their stomach; as soon as they catch up on what's happening, they decide to wait for A and B to start climbing up, grinning mischievously.

When the Preys reach the end of the mouth on their way out, Pred cuts the rope extra-dramatically with their teeth and gulps them both down again satisfactorily, only to then go back to sleep. Their lips can be seen curl into a smile before they pass out.

Alternative Ending 2:

Pred wakes up unbeknownst to Prey A and B like in the previous ending, but this time the tinies think it's safer to travel back to the top one at the time. B lets A go first in case something goes wrong. "And it will".

Pred pretends to be asleep, eyelids closed and breathing purposely slowed down as A exits the maw and now waits for B. But their turn never comes, because Pred's big eyes open and they sever the rope with the most effortless tug.

Their voice resonates in the air, accompanied by a smug smirk of theirs as they stare at A.

"What now, then?"

#this is one of my fave g/t vore scenarios of all time #so i thought “why not write something about it?” ❤️ #i love all endings btw because they're all equally unique and can take on their own different paths depending on how the rescue mission goe #also even tho it've written this pred ad cruel/a bit sadistic no actual harm is caused to Prey A and B #if you feel like some tags/extra warnings need to be added pls let me know btw!! #i really don't want to make anyone uncomfortable #favor(e)ite safe-nomming scenarios series #safe vore #g/t vore #cruel pred #sadistic pred #v.ore #v0re #non-fatal vore #does this count as writing? #my writing #monster pred

[snixx]

good GOD can we stop gendering everything. I swear some of y'all just took the futch scale and decided to run with it as gender roles 2.0 (yassified edition)

#like use whatever labels you want for yourself and your communities idc! i love femmes i love butches im happy for you #my issue as always comes when yall start imposing those labels on anyone and everyone unsolicited #and ESPECIALLY when you tear apart other people for not being femme/butch enough #me personally i dislike both those labels because i know i will never be enough for them even if i try #plus i dont see the correlation between how a certain article of clothing or way of wearing my hair makes me more masculine or feminine #for ME that is. like if a skirt/kurti makes you feel more femme thats great. but that doesn't mean it has to universally be feminine #and telling me im femme because i like skirts is just reinforcing a universal gender to a piece of clothing #me personally i can't wear pants cause they're uncomfortable #anyway tangent aside. those “this is the most butch woman twitter can handle” posts were funny at first #but then they devolved into “HAHA twitter thinks girl with long hair is butch they don't know what a real butch is” #which is so annoying. what makes you butch. who gets to decide that #there is a problem when characters who express their butchness a certain way canonically get miscasted with traditionally femme stuff #and i get that butchphobia is very real #but also when that's not the case just let people express themselves man. you don't have to be dragging everyone all the time #girlblogging.pdf

[14dayswithyou]

So with Ren and his sister being used to trap their mother, what did Taylor really think of his kids? Did he care for them or were they just a means to an end to him?

✦゜ANSWERED: He never really acknowledged them in the first place. He treated his children as though they were never there, and only showed concern when it came to Ichika, his wife. He left her to do all of the work, and only stepped in when it involved taking them out of the house.

On multiple occasions, Taylor would drop them off at school and wouldn't even bother to pick them up afterwards. He'd drive them to the supermarket with a grocery list and wait in the car while looking at the home security feed on his phone. He would even drive them to the beach and tell them not to come home wet or covered in sand unless they wanted to sleep outside.

Taylor can see how much the children mean to his wife though, which is probably the only reason why he hasn't gotten rid of them yet. He also treats Ren the worst given his male inferiority complex, and the lengths he goes to to dismiss his son's identity is honestly heartbreaking.

He was also the one who told Ren that it'd be better for everyone else's sake if he just pretended to be someone he's not.

#all my homies hate taylor #literally the worst #also why is my queue not posting??? hello????? tumblr my love talk to me #💌 — answered. #💖 — about ren. #🗑️ — about taylor. #to be tagged later #cw child neglect #i really don't know how else to tag this so please let me know!! >.< #even if you have to do it on anon at @cutiesigh!! i don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable or triggered by this!

[dennisboobs]

ok at the point now where looking at an image of dennis makes me want to smash my head through a wall

#ada speaks #idk how ppl exist in this fandom who don't feel bad for him tbh #which is the last thing den wants bc being perceived as weak and pitiable is devastating to him but #chasing this mfer down to give him a hug #he is so. fucked up. he has been fucked up by every adult in his life. #i think the fandom perceives him as this spoiled rich kid who had it better than most of the gang but the reality is #he was failed just like the rest of them and it's almost worse because he doesn't – and almost CAN'T – recognize this #letting the protective ego-boosting and boasting drop leads to him having to confront SO much baggage and i don't think he is mentally able #i think he DOES know deep down that everything is a lie and he has been hurt because we see that self awareness in ptsdee and tends bar #but his relationship with everyone in the gang is so strained that i don't think he would be able to have a moment like charlie did in s15 #even in tends bar there's a moment where they all recognize something is going on with him but immediately place him at the center #because he's the problem with him. anything done to him is his fault. it's not only something he reinforces. the gang does too #this must be because *dennis* has no feelings and he hates valentines day because everyone else is unlike him which makes *him* mad #the entire gang has an issue placing blame on themselves but to not even be able to conceive of dennis being hurt by them is. telling #because he's inhuman to them. it's how he's propped himself up and yet simultaneously hopes that they will see through that act #the way he reworks things in his mind so that everything is a consequence of his grand plan #means that he is always at fault regardless of whether he brushes the blame off #so he is not a *victim* of anyone else. because this was all under his control. he wasn't raped because he was initiating it. #klinsky was His Conquest. he was fourteen and she was in her fifties but he forced himself on her so that makes it His Fault. #it was a two way road. he's fourteen. and he 'entered' her. he's fourteen. but she was uncomfortable with his advances. but he was fourteen #cw csa mention

[phoenixcatch7]

Cap marvel headcanons I Will integrate into a fic one day but also have Zero basis in canon to my knowledge (this ended up being LONG):

The living lightning is an ancient force akin to the speed force, and the 'true' guardian of magic, being possibly the first 'magical creature' ever created.

The rock of eternity only recently became based on earth, in the past several thousand years, with the planet's deities acting as mountains in the rain cycle - funnels to safely channel the magic back into the Champion. It's a fully symbiotic relationship that benefits the planet and its people immensely.

This means previously the rock has been based on alien planets. Previous champions are ancient aliens, many from species that no longer exist, either because the species died out or evolved into something unrecognisable.

The champion of magic may have inspired the oua (?), the creators and high council of the green lanterns. Ooh maybe an oua was selected as champion, which is how they learned of it!

The living lightning, when not in a mortal vessel, rests in the heart of the Rock in a large brazier, with a smoke lid of white edged with gold in a familiar pattern. It is tradition, or perhaps instinct, for a Champion to light the brazier whenever they visit the Rock. It will be lit for as long as the visit lasts, and be extinguished the next time they come.

Should it choose to take form, the living lightning resembles a washed out combination of each of its previous Champions. Its form is solid and clear, strong and made for battle, but distinctly uncanny. It doesn't leave its brazier, nor speak.

The 'ideal form' of a hero varies all the time, doesn't it? Especially if you're a kid still growing and learning about yourself and the world. Headcanon cap ever so subtly changes features sometimes. Gradually. Height and build changes sometimes. One of the league members has noticed but they really can't prove it to themselves and it's driving them crazy. Billy has no idea.

On that topic, the 'ideal form' also includes the clothes, right? The red costume? If Billy transforms with the intent of doing something outside his normal hero things (ie, attending a celebration), the outfit has every reason and ability to change to reflect that! Everyone expecting cap to show up in his normal gear and ready to throw a formal suit at him to wiggle on over his costume and he shows up in a red and gold set with a little one shoulder cape like 'yeah I have no idea either'.

Cap marvel Is An Adult. Billy isn't, but cap is in every single way that someone could count. This is probably canon but in some fics I think the jl forgets lol. It's still the same soul, just, with an adult filter instead of a kid one. However that filter manifests.

Not sure this is canon too, but the idea of the mind/soul/whatever of cap manifesting as this great impossible mass. A storm, or a tiger, or a barrier of lightning. This giant, untouchable, dormant mass of power and implied Danger™. Again, Billy has no idea. J'onn is eying warily from a very safe distance.

His wiki practically waxes poetic about his abilities and skills in strategy, mathematics, nigh precognition from ability to spot and manipulate patterns. Captain marvel is unbeatable at chess. Batman has lost to him. Billy cannot do fractions and it drives him up the WALL.

The champion, and ONLY the champion, can share his powers. If shazam wants a second champion he has to give a new set wholesale or convince the champion to share. Similarly, those patroned by the champion cannot transform unless the champion is also transformed. Because otherwise that would be too easy for Billy lol.

Every time Billy asks, tawky gives a different canon origin story. Billy has no idea which is true.

Billy's parents died accidentally freeing Adam on their expedition. Probably crushed by rubble :(. The wizard is the only one who knows and really isn't inclined to share, and Adam either hasn't connected the dots or never really noticed they were there.

Cap and Billy love each other, regardless of whatever version their whole thing is. They're the only reason the other remembers self care and that kind of self love, even if he's not sure he deserves it, makes a world of difference with how they portray themselves to the world.

Cap doesn't need to breathe to speak but he never remembers that and has repeatedly choked in water and space. Superman empathises but tries not to find it funny after the third time it happens.

Billy has showed the wizard memes.

The wizard internally refers to Billy as the 'sassy, lost child'. He has a pointy hat like any good wizard but refuses to wear one since Billy keeps asking him to, pretty please.

Cap once won an arm wrestle with superman by pretending to lick his hand. He didn't. Billy would have.

Cap marvel CANONICALLY bites but after the first time he regulates his jaw strength. Thankfully it was Black Adam so no one lost a hand. He had him in a headlock so who's fault was it really.

Ebenezer doesn't have a strong opinion on cap marvel either way. Billy thinks that's almost worse.

The living lightning isn't lightning. It was around before lightning. It is living, however. It is that 'living' that forms the main consciousness of the Champion form, in this case Marvel. Its not sentient or sapient itself, that's the vessel, but it is the building blocks of it.

In dc (again no idea if this has any basis in canon) magic is the fifth state of matter, above plasma. Yes this interferes incredibly with quantum physics and theoretical science. No the magic users don't know how it works either. No they will not help you they have their own research (into the exact same thing) to do.

If the Rock is obliterated cap marvel will die (along with pretty much everything else but irrelevant). However, if he manages to save the brazier, he will continue on. Magic as a whole deal won't be very happy and aeons of magical knowledge and history and artifacts will be lost, but cap will live and can rebuild from the ashes. The brazier is Heavy but enough super strength can move it if you don't mind bringing a chunk of floor. And the rock is so weakened it's literally falling apart but those are the right circumstances anyway so.

#We should be able to put multiple read mores in posts #I had more headcanons than I thought #If anyone has anything proving/disproving any of these PLEASE let me know :D #I'm still pretty new here and I don't know a lot of the canon material #Wish we could get post checks from others without having to @ them I'm not RUDE #but fr if anyone wants to whip out their reading glasses and comically large Well Actually book of references please do #dc comics #captain marvel #dc captain marvel #billy batson #shazam #headcanon #long post #I REPEAT LONG POST #also blanket permission for anyone to use these if they give you Ideas #I really want to write a fic where the jl (mainly superbat) help cap with saving the Rock and fail #But at the last second he swaps to desperately trying to rescue the brazier but his powers failing and he can't move it he's in tears #And superman has to haul it out while someone else carries an inconsolable cap #And when they get outside to safety they're like 'so what's the deal with this over literally everything else in there' and poor Billy just #Has had possibly the worst day of his life his powers fading just tries to scrabble into the brazier (he needs help and its uncomfortable #for everyone involved) and curls up like goodNIGHT and pulls his cape over his shoulders which turns to stone and he dissolves #To sleep and recharge and now the jl is stuck with the source of all magic which is big and heavy and has their unconscious teammate in. #And also it can't leave earth so no watchtower to put it! Very angst hurt comfort identity reveal methinks. HEA ofc #So.... Yeah

[irbcallmefynn]

I think it's kinda funny how my brain handles love.

The way I act with my close friends is genuine. It's what comes to mind immediately. Sometimes I worry I'm coming off too flirty and romantic but then I stop myself and think, "this is your immediate way of acting. This is accurate" and it helps.

I do genuinely want to cuddle with my friends. I would kiss them on the cheek or forehead. I would hug them whenever they need. That's how I am. So I want everyone I consider a close friend (basically if we're mutuals we're friends. If we're mutuals and interact a lot we're close friends) to know that I genuinely. Genuinely. Love you. I wouldn't say we're dating, or even in any sort of romantic relationship (but you're more than welcome too if you'd like!), but that's basically the vibe.

Man, love is weird. You can't just say "platonic" or "romantic", it's nuanced. You can mix and match! I like the romantic expressions of affection, but I can't go much further than that. So I don't! And I think that's neat.

#bedposting #love #love is weird #so yeah if we're close friends i love you and my actions are genuine and natural #i am not exaggerating my emotions for you or anyone. that's just how i feel! #i think the best way to describe this would be “platonic-romantic” or “flirtatious friends” or something #kinda long post #oh and i should say if you're uncomfortable with me acting like this towards you PLEASE let me know and I'll stop! #i don't want to make my friends uncomfortable >~<

[dredshirtroberts]

it is not slacking off to write or create it is not slacking off to do things that are fun i am not slacking off or procrastinating right now i'm allowed to do things i enjoy doing for fun including playing games and writing and such

#if i say it enough i will remember it's true #can you guess which aspect of capitalism i'm struggling with today? #it does not help my bones are somehow WORSE than yesterday even after all of the rest i took so that's Super Fun:tm: #so i've got that on in the back of my head #ugh #i... am putting off calling my grandma - i meant to do it last week but i got too in my head about it #and uno reversed myself into forgetting to do it at all until the Worst Times Possible #(generally around Normal Fuckin Meal Times) #i want to call to wish her a belated mother's day and check in re: grandpa but also... #also i don't want to have to do a phone call i don't want to talk to them about anything at all #they stress me out to talk to and it makes me super uncomfortable to be on the phone in general let alone with a Heavy Topic over our heads #like.... i'm comfortable with where i'm at acceptance-wise with Grandpa's whole situation #and i know i am late for a better relationship with the pair of them in general #like i'm not going to repair a relationship that wasn't built to collapse down to this point this is as far as it got built up to #i'm not building more relationship between me and someone who i know is passing soon when they didn't take the opportunity either #like they had just as much chance as me to improve our relationship after i became an adult and they chose to use my mother as #an intermediary which has stunted their connection to me and that's not my fault #i admittedly did not reach out but i was not taught i could safely do that to anyone #because my parents badmouth literally any person they know for one reason or another #i regularly fuck up in conversations with my grandparents because i'll say somethign that is a holdover from my understanding of them #through my parents and it's like. kind of really insulting! and i've been doing it my whole life and i know as soon as i get their reaction #and i can't recover because i don't actually know them at all #so i can't be like ''oh my god i know that's inaccurate i have no idea why i said that'' because i *don't* know until after i've done it #every goddamn time it happened the last time i got a call from them too #like... my bio fam/family of origin is just not good at keeping in touch and i know i'm a product of that #and i know theoretically how to adjust for it but it does require work on the other end of the line too #and unfortunately i know my bio family too well and know they won't do their part #i grew up in the group project everyone hates #and i'm on my way to deciding they can show up to the presentation day without me #i've started a new family project over here with blackjack and hookers

[miamicommune]

big vent abt sex n attraction in the tags sorry

#think being terrified of people thinking i was into them as a teenager and later being used for sex has had disastrous effects on my brain #like. i am terrified of crossing any boundary at all on that front. and im terrified anyone interested is just using me in some way #and there's no way for me to confront that without just. putting myself in situations that make me rly uncomfortable. #idk. the idea of accidentally overstepping in such a way that makes someone uncomfortable makes me want to die. #but im just. idk. i don't like to assert my own boundaries. and people have always taken advantage of that. #everytime someone's as careful with me as i am with them i just. don't know what to do. makes me want to cry. makes me want to live. #but that's terrifying too. i know all too well that i get FPs and they're frequently those people #and the positive and negative effects that has on me are crazy. #sorry if ur reading this i think the weird cocktail of stimulants im on rn has just. rly let me access all this and finally word it. #this has all just been bubbling away in me for like. 11ish years.

[synthshenanigans]

there’s one on here currently and they’re bringing back up old controversy (jashshipping)

Yeaa I saw that. They also seem to post a bunch of CJ related things, so I might make the daily photos one since there isn't one for just CJ screenshots/photos

#im gonna be a fait bit busy today so I cant make it rn #also wont be making it tomorrow as there's another strike happening then [ill make a post on that later too btw] #but i want there to be an account just of stuff from the vids or of the ones he posts on twitter #as for the shipping thing #i wish ppl wouldn't be so rude with things sometimes man #my stance is basically the same as CJs. interpret it however you'd like just don't show it to ppl who are uncomfortable with it #also don't harass or be a dick to people who do or don't ship it #im glad it died down since then at least & that there's not a bunch of hate going around #this fandom is simultaneously really nice to be in & also really draining sometimes #tho it definitely isn't the worse. ive been in a lot of ones that are a LOT worse than here. big & small #place is actually quite nice mostly. despite some things that deserve needing to be called out [like some of the ableism toward Heart] #I think things would be a lot better if people just let others do their own thing. as long as its not like. fuckin illegal or offense #or against CJs boundaries. just let others vibe out in there own corner #ain't that what we all said when TH purists complain about CJs covers? No ones forcing you to consume the content. is all good #just stay where you're comfortable! if anyone's forcing you to look at their stuff then they're the issue. and that goes both ways #again just listen to what the guy said. don't show it to people that don't like it. don't harass people who do it don't like it. an like #just be groovy #sorry for the rant this has just been on my mind for months now #im generally very neutral on things but i hate everyone just yellin at each other when there doesn't need to be yelling in the first place #again this place is hell of a lot better than other spaces ive been in #its a main reason this is the first fandom I've actively participated a shit ton in #im actually using discord & talking [a bit] to other ppl for once lol #idk man i like it here. Just don't make a reason for people not to like it here #again apologies for the rant op. this has just been on my mind for some time & i really don't want shit being blown up again #also apologize if anythins spelled wrong or sounds like nonsense #shitty keyboard + dyslexia + not being able to edit tags can make dumb results lol #moss rants #[atlas asks]

[rambunctioustoons]

pov taking a look at my mood tracker app 💖💖:

-i want to lay on the ground.

-i want to lay on the ground.

-i want to lay on the ground.

-I feel great right now!!!!!

-i want to lay on the ground.

-i want to lay on the ground.

-i want to dig a hole and lay on the ground

#ramblings #vent #vent cw #negative #im making a silly joke but i don't want anyone to be uncomfortable! genuinely #i dont like making self deprecating jokes. or suicide jokes @ myself so. when i dont Feel Good i just long to lay on the floor/ground lmao #when will it be my turn to dig a crevice in the earth with my two hands and stay there for awhile #this is about pmdd and dysthymia but hey if you relate hey hi im sorry lets lay on the ground together for awhile

[scuffle-with-spirals]

I remember when I borrowed Battle Royale from the library. It was one of the original translations I believe (with Shuya and Noriko on the front) and like, amidst all the absolute tomfuckery happening all around in that book, one thing young me found unironically funny was just. The way the book would bring Kazuo into a scene.

Spoilers for Battle Royale aiosdfmmiodfmiosdfmiosdfio

Big infodump under cut!!

OKAY SO

Sparing most of the details about the Program and all that, each of the 42 students who get released onto the abandoned island to fight to the death are each assigned a random weapon in their backpack, alongside some other necessities. It’s an insane coin toss on what you get here. You could get a little lucky and get something long-ranged — a gun, an automatic crossbow, etc... Maybe something on the blunter side like a bat or hammer. Or, you could be unlucky like one of the boys did and get something like a fork. It’s incredibly hit or miss.

So, for those not playing “the game” and have a good weapon, they’re at least somewhat reassured that if push comes to shove, as much as some really don’t want to, they’ll have something to defend themselves with.

But the thing is: for those who are playing, who are “with the Program”, so to speak, if the odds are in their favor, the others are uh. Kinda FUCKED

SO.

There are many, many aggressors in the novel who want to play the game. There are two big, famous ones as well, that many people who‘ve either read the book or watched the movie know: Mitsuko Souma, and Kazuo Kiriyama.

So my memory is fuzzy on the events of the book. I’m trying to finally give it a second read with the Remastered version; it’s been a few years and I’m still on it LMAO, and I’m sorry to say I’ve unfortunately not watched the movie yet. Currently, I’m only now finally finishing the manga, so it seems that, based on my fresh knowledge from that specific adaptation (which changes some things from the original novel), Mitsuko, while her assigned weapon is a sickle, does change her formula by snatching others weapons. There are many panels of her capping someone’s skull in and it’s infuriating to read for like, all of it, lmao.

But Kazuo? Nonono. No. He doesn’t get any farming tools as his weapon. Y’all, this dude is playing. And he was assigned a FUCKING MACHINE GUN

AND LISTEN

KAZUO DOESN’T FUCKING WAIT. IT IS ON SIGHT WITH HIM

sOooOoOo many characters die because Kazuo just happens to walk in through stage left and start blastin’. He’s a fascinating character to me because, while you have some people trying to convince others they’re not playing or to put their weapons down, while others go “ayo that’s stupid as shit kill or be killed dumb dumb” or Mitsuko pulling her expert gaslight gatekeep girlboss tricks, Kazuo’s just silent, blunt, and lethal. And once anyone who doesn’t get their ass obliterated before they can notice realizes this, they’re visibly terrified whenever he shows up again, letting anyone else nearby know that this dude’s out for blood even if that other person was also playing the game themselves.

So uh! About the novel!

In some, but not all cases probably, for some reason, the translator decides to announce Kazuo’s sudden entrance into a confrontation with the phrase:

“It was Kazuo Kiriyama.”

And like, at first, this made my heart stop. Especially when a character I liked was in the scene, I was like, “Ah shit, here we go, oh fuck.”

But then it just kept happening

This is literally just an example and probably matches nothing of what happens in any adaptation but just to show you how it looked, here’s a mockup of how this shit would play out:

Hiroki’s eyes darted to the nearby treetops, tensed by the rustling trees. In the glint of the moon, he assumed the worst, and tried to pinpoint any figures stationed in the branches. His eyes squinted. Please, let it be anything else. The wind, or perhaps fleeting birds, unfamiliar with the cruelty of bloodshed.

But it was Kazuo Kiriyama, and with a fucking ka-klinK he made sure his airpods were blastin that doom music as he ratatatatatata-

THIS SAME EXACT WORDING GOT USED SO MANY TIMES TO THE POINT WHERE I JUST GAVE A SLIGHT CHUCKLE WHEN I SAW IT LIKE

MAYBE IT’S JUST MY HUMOR

MAYBE I’M REMEMBERING IT WRONG?!?!?? HLEL

In the remastered versions there’s NOT ANY “it was kazuo kiriyama” moments yet, which on one end, is kinda upsetting because this is probably the easiest way to access the novel and I just want to know this wasn’t another terrible case of my memory so I can show it to people and laugh or something, but also, I mean, I get why they chose to change it up lmao. It’s. yeah.

I tried to make this an inside joke with some friends a few years ago but nobody else had read Battle Royale so i kinda gave up instantly lmao. But one friend DID suddenly hit me with a fast one referencing it one time and I just immediately lost it on SPOT she was so cool for that lmsfiofmsdfiomiosdffmiod you know who you are

PLEASE if anyone also remembers or even possibly owns the version of the novel I’m referring to, can you please let me know if this was actually a thing that happened? Like, a lot, or even at all? :0c I’m really curious, ;v;

Thank you so so much for reading this long ass post SDFIOMFSDFMIO!! And if anyone else wants me to talk about BR for any reason — whether it be because they just want to here my thoughts on things, on certain adaptations, or would just want to hear my retelling of events without actually reading the source material (SO VALID), PLEASEE LET me know. I’ll probably do this anyway but I mean!! Finding like-minded people who’re interested in anything is neat!!

#battle royale #battle royale kazuo kiriyama #kazuo kiriyama #tw murder #tw guns #gun mention #rambles: blorb'd edition #PLEAAASE let me know if i'm leaving out any tw or cw tags!!! #I really don't want to make anyone upset or uncomfortable #especially with media like this!!!!

[bee-in-a-box]

Into the Marcus-Verse >:)

design credits:

Scene Marcus by @disneyxdeeznuts

AU Marcus by @transmarcus

Runaway AU Marcus by @nonymous06

#formal apology to tumblr user disneyxdeeznuts because I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to do that shirt design #so i just did >/////< eddy #im so sorry king #lab rats #marcus davenport #side note if anyone wants to be removed from this post let me know i don't want to make anyone uncomfortable or anything