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faggot-greg-house · 3 months

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house is autistic i will accept no criticism

i have so many thoughts about house and autism. this might be the most unhinged post on my tumblr yet but here we go so house had the illusion of normalcy forced on him from a young age. i dont think thats like, full canon, but house talks about how his father abused him on more than one occassion and talked about how he was never satisfied or happy with house no matter what. so i truly dont think its a far reach to say that he would not have tolerated a "weird child." the thing that i think, though, is that all of his actions are a response to the fact that he's not particularly great at masking. he's afraid if he lets people close to him he won't be able to hide the fact that he's "weird" (aka bad). he intentionally pushes people away with his weird creepy comments and being an asshole and that's both him masking (if he's aggressively mean all the time no one will bother to look further) and a way of coping with the fact that he cant mask. the more he pushes people away the less likely it is that they'll see that he cares about things and that he's not "normal" like he's always been told. i also think that as the show went on, he got less and less concerned about masking. he constantly stims, he hyperfocuses and burns out, he panics about change, he treats his fellows a lot more like family. once he got to a point in his life where his "weirdness" is not something he can be ruined for (he's tenured and he has people who will fight for him) he found himself a lot more able to be aggressively autistic, even if he struggles with it due to trauma.

a huge Autism Moment in the show for me is when foreman quits and house fires chase. house has been afraid his whole life of showing who he actually is, as mentioned. his fellows, though, are his People, they knew all of his shit and they never ran awayy from it. they didnt question who he was and what he knew, only his methods, and they were willing to fight back against him (something he's shown he loves). but then foreman quits because he "doesnt want to be like house" and this is house's worst nightmare. this is exactly why he had normalcy beaten into him, because being weird only makes it that people will run away once they know you. he dared to let people see a bit of who he actually is and how he thinks and acts and foreman essentially said "i cant stand to be like you." on top of that fear, his team became Different. he doesnt know if chase or cameron thought the same things as foreman, if they were also judging him or hating him for being autistic. it sent him into fucking panic mode because how is he supposed to trust them when he doesnt know if they agree with foreman!!!!! and even if he could, the team is Different and its for a reason he cant control and he cant just go back to normal. his method of interviewing his new fellows also shows this - how is he supposed to be able to tell if someone will be okay with who he is and if they'll work well together based off a short intervew where he's almost certainly masking the whole time???? anyway. to end this absolutely unhinged post ive put together an inconclusive list of autistic traits and actions from house, and i want to say that so much of this is him being written off as an antisocial eccentric genius and, while he is an ass that cant be debated, it clearly runs deeper than that!!!!

he doesnt understand how ppl feel (he repeatedly talks about how small talk is like a guessing game for him and he doesnt know what to say)

he doesnt like to be touched (for a lot of the show people just do Not touch him, wilson excluded)

he stims constantly and he needs Sensations

he's blunt, rude, somewhat monotone, etc

he has a hard time making friends

he has a hard time saying what he feels (he'd rather joke or be mean than analyse his emotions)

he has a routine that he Sticks To (even thgh its not exactly the same because of patients etc, he goes to work late, he talks to the same people, he sits in his same office. he's shown coming to work sick at one point and he doesnt rly go on vacation. plus when cuddy took his bloodstained carpet it was such a fundamental change to his life that he couldnt deal)

he notices Everything (yes ik this is a sherlock holmes thing but consider sherlock holmes - also autistic)

he has a method and train of thought that works for him and he is unwilling to break from it (he's shown at least once stopping the fellows from writing on his whiteboard, and after he loses the og three he continues trying to hold ddx's because its how he Thinks)

#hate crimes md #house md #gregory house #james wilson #child abuse #wrote all of this first in a discord channel so if it looks absolutely unhinged that's why #also im autistic and if you disagree with me thats ableist #autistic greg house #my thoughts

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eirian · 3 months

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yall ready for a gender journey post..

so yall could probably guess i grew up a cis girl. i didnt start questioning my gender until high school after i broke up with my first boyfriend which kind of freed me up to explore my identity as my own person for the first time. around age like 16 was when i first started identifying as trans, and at the time that meant a binary trans guy

after a couple years of getting comfortable exploring my gender i decided hey maybe im actually not a binary trans guy but instead nonbinary. still transmasc and guy leaning but not quite all the way anymore. this became a trend for the next loooong while, getting closer to the androgynous part of the spectrum as time went on

then in recent years (maybe about 5 years ago ish) i started to lean more towards femininity. this is significant for me because growing up i was always opposed to it--i hated wearing dresses, i hated putting on makeup, anything "girly" appalled me and i didnt know why. i ended up thinking its because i WASNT a girl, and thats why i was so uncomfortable with everything to do with being a girl. i rejected it so hard because it just wasnt me.

after living with eden for a while i got even more comfortable exploring the feminine part of myself. i started wearing dresses and skirts and actually ENJOYED it; i started painting my nails and wearing earrings again; i even grew my hair out to my shoulderblades (yeah thats where its at now LOL). ive even started using she/her alongside they/them. and im actually enjoying these things??? it feels like after all these years im finally able to reclaim them because i feel like im finally able to be comfortable with my gender--how my gender feels to ME, not to everyone else.

that was the problem when i was growing up--i was trapped in everyone else's perception of my gender and what it "should" be. i was trapped into a box that was made by everyone else's idea of what i SHOULD look like, what i SHOULD wear, what i SHOULD act like, etc. and it took me until age 26 to fully realize that my gender is what i want it to be, not what everyone else wants.

i dont have to be a guy to want facial hair and a flat chest and a low voice. loving pink and dresses and cute things and makeup and jewelry doesnt inherently mean im a girl. pronouns, features, clothes, even names dont inherently mean youre one gender or another. your gender is defined by you and only you and nobody should be able to put you into a box and define your gender for you.

..having said all this, im starting to explore my gender further, and im slowly coming to the POSSIBLE conclusion that i might come back around to being cis (albeit gnc). nothing would really change about me except the label tbh. if i do end up coming to that conclusion i will be very bummed about leaving the trans community, but i wont feel any less attached to it, as ive spent literally half my life as part of it. i understand what its like to be trans and to love myself as my most authentic self, and thats why im considering this possiblity!

identifying as a lesbian kind of pushed me in this direction as well--i cant remember the last time i felt truly comfortable and happy with a label regarding my orientation.. like ya damn. maybe i am a girl who likes girls LOL. it just feels right and natural for me personally??? its crazy. i love women. if youre a woman i love you no matter the flavor. i love my wife more than all of you though sorry <3

but god please dont take this as me being like "oh trans people just need to get comfortable with their gender and theyll realize theyre cis" that is a bullshit take and i am not saying that. this is strictly my own experience and journey! i am 100% not speaking for every trans person and you shouldnt either.

but ya. dan cis era???? we'll see. no official statement just yet but i just wanted to let yall know where im at in my ~gender journey~. until i confirm anything please still view me as a nonbinary girlthing! <3

#i have to reiterate i am KEEPING the name dan saiyan. and my facial hair and deep voice #like i said. these things do not mean anything irt my gender. they are just part of me #if i say im a cis woman and i have facial hair and the name dan then thats what cis looks like for me <3 #i honestly feel free as hell. im defining my gender for myself now and its the most powerful feeling in the world

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lizaluvsthis · 3 months

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SMG4: CEO OF RIZZ

To where you needed an alternative title, "Boopkins needs some Rizz"

Person: Hey L- *gets crushed by a piano*

HGG OKAY.... SO... first off I just WOKE up. And our usual spot again is that the coffee shop keeps appearing in the episodes.

(Cough- Brewing Romance is still on the line so when you keep seeing the coffee shop getting shown by the episodes, you'll be darned to not stop thinking about Brewing Romance...)

Three and kaizo are shown, which made it very clear that some of us headcanon three as an uncle and kaizo as the nephew XD

So boopkins has a date with this famous girl and three helps boopkins get his rizz in order to achieve his restaurant getting popular.

No... NO... NOOOOOOOO PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS JUST A COINCIDENCE... PLEASE DEAR GOD- I JUST REDREW THIS MORDETWI MEME... IS THIS A F-CKING MESSAGE?

TELL ME THIS IS A COINCIDENCEEEEE *shakes the person who put it there on purpose*

I noticed the igloo...

... LUKE- LUKEEEEEEE????????????

HOW THE HELL DID I PREDICT THIS JUST BY DRAWING THREE WEARING THE CASINO OUTFIT-

There is just no way... @shygirl4991 SHAY... SHAYYYYYYY?????? THEY KNOW.... THEY'VE SEEN...

Thus... the western hat worn by four still remains there...

I somehow found this one very interesting, I mean- I wouldnt be a shock if it's miku already. Since somehow it's boopkins, and the girl he'd been the one to date are something from fictional stuffs. I never guessed miku but I guessed that it was some anime related.

Then we get- to see this...its a side to side comparisson of how four and three act alot like this when they needed something.

Here comes the begging strategy... so if you put two and two together, they ended up giving them what they wanted with the same "fine" to make that person shut up.

This also leads to how three is never that much aware that his actions in public is drawn attention that he is less destructful and is in his soft side.

Like how he did the same in SMG4 during that time before they both got stuck on an elevator? Three gave him a chance to stop his whining ass. Like he didn't even argue or straight up complained to the blue man, he just basically gave him what he wanted.

This portrays the same thing Miku does as she goes back and returns to the date she has with boopkins.

It'd be a shock if I were to say I weren't that much very cultured on anime stuff but Umaru used to be my favorite childhood show.

Its funny that miku has interests on being a fan of other animes since again- miku is a vocaloid character who sings songs out on public.

When boopkins gave out his moral lesson about "just you being you" and "you dont have to change who you are even tho you're not that much of a gigachad" or sh-t

Because we have three- WHO IS DEFINITELY DONE WITH HIS CRAP- I wouldn't be suprised to this honestly- we already know how SMG3 reacts when boopkins is there, and even with those comments about how he has beef with him about "boopkins bein a loser, he really thinks he's part of the crew"

We pretty much understand how Three isn't a much fan on fiction anime stuff or is even a weeb. Just by looks of Boopkins, he's the one who shows as an openly hearted and a very generous, loyal, kindest creature to have.

But three thinks it's a sh-t because no one else is perfect and that this doesnt matter too much at all to him since EVERYONE is broken enough already.

Which defines him as the emo person in question:

"What the hell is the meaning of life, when you know nothing ever changes shit with where we all still suffered?"

Three is just so desparate enough to run his business and would literally want its popularity get expanded for newcomers to try and welcome themselves from the cafe, mostly enough he'd do anything and EVERYTHING with this power.

That calls out for another hyperfixation.

I never have much to say in this but I somehow found the episode a bit on the neutral side between good or bad-

The episode is... well.... i dunno- interesting, but somehow with attempts on making boopkins "uncharacterize" himself to be a rizzler is weird, but this definitely shows why boopkins doesnt have that kind of rizz SMG3 has.

... *suddenly remembers SMG4 singing that gyatt to rizzler song*

AH-AHEHE-M UHH...

A-anyway- again- my point stands out that Three definitely haz rizz, and Four definitely is lying to the fact that he says he 'doesnt' during the elevator episode.

I'd think about wanting to put Three on a rizz attempt on four still XD (people are gonna go crazy on this)

#lizaluv #smg4 #smg3 #smg4 smg3 #lizafixates #fishy boopkins #smg4 boopkins #miku #miku hatsune #hatsune miku #slight smg34 #smg34

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thereareeyesinsidethetrees · 8 months

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consider: undefeatable as a ford song

because id like to give him a song that isnt depression and anguish and self-loathing. and also i think it would be a great song for him going up against the residents of the nightmare realm

heres every single lyric for your consideration:

'im hanging on to the other side' - other side can be interpreted to mean a lot of things, but i personally like to think that this is ford thinking about his home dimension and using it as motivation to go through with his plan (+ hanging onto that photo the entire time hes in the multiverse)

'i wont give up til the end of me' - kill bill or be killed himself in the process

'welcome to the mind of a different kind, where weve been growing slowly' - ford's dreamscape has changed a lot + hes found a method to keep bill locked out of it (bill can access his dreams, but it seems like not much more than that). a different kind than bill once knew, and fords been growing his defenses over time

'think im on eleven but im on a nine, guess you dont really know me' - the all-knowing god doesnt really know ford all that well actually. also ford should be allowed to taunt bill as much as he wants

'running from the past is a losing game- it never brings you glory' - hes not hiding from bill, he is actively hunting him down (this can also work as a weirdmaggedon/sea grunk era ford line)

'been down this road before, already know this story' - hes already been manipulated by bill once, hes not gonna let it happen again, no matter what the triangle says

'push yourself!' and 'its time to face your fear' and 'and you can throw me to the wolves, cause i am undefeatable' - ford has been through a lot, he is absolutely terrified, but hes determined to do whatever it takes to take bill down regardless

'cause when your time has come and gone, ill be the one to carry on' - weirdmaggedon

'im what you get when the stars collide- now, face it, youre just an enemy' - stars colliding is very ford. if you ask me. and also ford hitting bill with 'youre just an enemy'. not even 'my enemy' just an enemy

'youre crossing the line' - bill aiming to get at ford's dimension, trying to use ford for it, and then promising an entire dimension (doubt hed have actually been able to fulfill that promise) for his capture so ford is never left alone during the entire over half his life spent in the portal. crossing the line is underselling it a bit, i think

'now weve run out of time. ill take what is mine' - ford getting through all the other folks in the nightmare realm and finally being able to actually take bill out (until he isnt actually. bad timing)

'and when the story ends, it becomes a part of me' - trauma, most likely. finally being able to take a second to try and process said trauma once bill is dead, maybe

'ill give it what it takes. ill find another way' - again, ford is not taking no for an answer here. he is going to kill bill by any means necessary

'i used to never know, but now its crystal clear' - past ford hitting a roadblock and turning to bill for help, seeing him as a helpful entity vs current ford understanding the answer he was looking for and seeing bill for what he truly is

'this feelings just a ghost' - the fear he feels is very real, but not a solid force. he can push past it, and he has methods for doing so

(all the rest of the lyrics are simply repeating other ones)

#yes that is in fact the song from sonic frontiers #can you blame me? shit slaps #anyway #gravity falls #ford pines #do not tag as ship

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mariacallous · 6 months

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Ugh this probably says more abt me and my circles than anything else but like. Its legitimately mood-alteringly disappointing rn trying to talk to or deal w other people. It doesnt matter what issue we're talking abt - democracy at home or abroad, international conflicts, climate change, poverty, capitalism - all anyone wants to do is agree abt how shit it all is and then like hope or root for the end of the world somehow and then like wow look how smart and "real" we're being it cant go on like this etc etc like SHUT UPPPPPP!!!!!! People would really rather just HOPE for things to get immeasurably worse bc they dont want to do the work to think abt solutions or even the fact that there ARE things within our power to improve is somehow idk annoying to hear abt?? I guess??? Every time i try to point it out they act like im naiive or childish somehow, they dismiss me showing up to abortion protests as doing nothing AND when i canvass for county level protections as nothing???? If i bring up water catchment systems as a solution to water insecurity in our area (arizona....lol) "itll never work" "zoning boards would never do anything" its like. I feel so stunted like im TIRED of listening to people give up like this, and i hate being dismissed for pointing out real solutions!!! Actually getting 50 people excited about city elections IS more impactful than posting through it!!!!!!!!!!! Idk how IM the dumb one here it feels lonely and isolating rn tbh anyway thank U for being one of the ppl i consistently follow who doesnt just give into sensationalism and exhausting knee-jerk reactions etc

I mean, on one level they’re right - these things WON’T happen, at least not if anyone doesn’t do anything. So it becomes a self-fulfilling masturbatory prophecy.

It’s also easier to ignore all the examples of when people showing up does work - when the right candidates get elected and now the right policies and laws can be passed. The right people speak up at the right meetings and the organization makes different, better choices.

The problem is that life isn’t a movie where we can move through a montage of the scenes and work to get to those moments. You have to live and work, and also recognize that success is not guaranteed. Sometimes the other side is better organized, better funded, better positioned. But you keep fighting and working. You look at what’s not helping or benefiting and make changes. You identify the new allies to complement the ones already there. Reach out to the inactive and under approached.

There is so much we can individually do that adds up on a larger scale.

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pompadourpink · 8 months

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Hi mom! I need some advice ! I trust your opinion , im so sorry that this will be a long one ! Im starting my freshmen year at college this fall, after a prep year. I want to open an instagram account , i like taking pictures and i want to keep up with my friends from prep year. The thing is i am a socially anxious person. And when i was in middle school i was made fun of because i had so little followers ( like 25 smthing) and i got sad and closed my account. I was 12 when that happened, i was also being bullied in many other ways. So i am afraid now that people will mock me for not having many followers and they will think im unsociable or uncool or something like that. The thing is i also think instagram is a fake place, but many school clubs announce things there and in college you just want to fit in. Also i was the nerd all my school life, i got no attention from boys whatsoever. I got really insecure, all the people that saw me this year tell me that i have changed so much, now i get compliments about my looks but i still feel unconfident. When it comes to interacting with boys all my friends tell me im too unapproachable. Maybe an ig account will help that? honestly idk. and i know that im overthinking this issue but that’s me unfortunately 😭

part 1

part 2

actually i hate ig flirting? like what does liking a story even mean i hate that kind of stuff. But appearently my generation dont know how to make a move in real life because all the relationships i know of starts online. I cant complain because i could have made a move? but i didnt because im anxious and sometimes insecure because of all the bullying i got in middle school. They made fun of me in unimaginably cruel ways , it still has affects on me years later. I am so desperate for male attention, like i was wearing a tshirt that was slightly wide in the collar and a classmate checked me out , i got really happy! How silly is that! Because i was told that thet were disgusted to even look at me before and they dont consider me as a woman !

Now i go to the best college in the country, i changed a lot physically ( that doesnt matter, i could stay ugly and they had no right) and they are still horrible human beings. Sorry to burden you with all these stuff, it took another turn .

Since i got shit treatment for being ugly earlier in my life, i guess i need validation, posting pretty pictures and being hit on by boys and it sounds silly to me but it is like that.

What do you think about this issue? I know that it’s a bit all over the place , sorry about that! Lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

Hello dear,

There is a lot to unpack here so Dr Talks too much is back in office.

Of course, you should get IG if you feel like it. You were 12 a long time ago, those people are probably not in your life anymore (and if they are, they should get fired, no one will arrest you for not talking to people). I also have a ridiculous number of followers and I don't even think about it (at least they actually care when I post), that is not what we are here for, numbers mean nothing and anyone who tries to tell you anything different doesn't deserve a place in your life.

You are at an age where this type of desire makes sense. If you want a collage of the things you love to make yourself feel happy and discover yourself, do it. And yes, if people find your account and like it, you could make some friends. And if they don't and mock you, you know who to avoid.

The rant about loneliness is worrying me greatly. If I could go back and talk to my 18-year-old self, I would tell her to drop the boy-obsessed attitude. The truth is that being desperate is a bad look, but also a very obvious one. You can get groomed easily because what you want is flagrant and any guy at least a little bit charming will drive you insane by just maintaining eye contact and smiling. And if a man can be super lazy and still get you, he will do exactly that and play with you until he's bored and dumps you without a care in the world. That is not a compliment. There are too many stories of women who put men first and got fucked over for people your age to try it and think it will go differently. Make yourself the main character of your life instead of forcing yourself to live in the shadow of people who don't even seem to like you.

Now, some homework:

Watch this. Excellent advice from a 20-year-old lady making the best out of loneliness instead of letting it destroy her.

youtube

And this. What happens when girls are boy-obsessed. If you have time, watch the show. The entire world agrees that Carrie is the worst character of the series because she's a shit friend, doesn't learn from her mistakes, and can't be trusted.

youtube

And finally, worry about yourself. There are billions of men on Earth and many will find you attractive. You have a long life ahead of you. A nice body is not enough to keep a guy and even models get cheated on. Don't date someone because he liked your cleavage. Having low confidence is a curse because it turns you into a people pleaser, and that just makes you a liar and an easy victim. People can't know you if there's no one to know. A great personality is what makes people stick. Listen to yourself, try fun things, find a therapist, and get a couple of hobbies. Get yourself some girlfriends and do things with them, strengthen your circle, make yourself a person worthy of being befriended or dated, and one day someone will say oh, there's that guy I used to know in high school, I think you would really like him. Don't force it. Don't chase. Only accept someone who is truly happy to be around you, or sentence yourself to have to heal from relationships forever.

Love,

Mum

#ask #malks

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crunchybees · 2 months

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a journal entry from a distant past

what are my goals? i feel myself in this state of transformation. can i truly live with no life goals? do i have to be working towards something all the time… that sounds exhausting. right now im chilling. getting high. living in the present. that sounds good to me. i think im discounting myself. ive been learning more about tarot and astrology. i want to be immersed in those. i want to learn about what we cant see. i am waiting for the right opportunity for me, but how will i know that opportunity is right if i have no goal in mind? well, first off, i do have a goal in mind - comfortability. secondly, im literally just playing devils advocate with myself. im gonna use my fucking intuition to understand if a decision is right for me or not. fucking duh. what am i talking about. i guess i had to write this out to feel better. why am i worried about having no goals? i guess i had the thought that if i had no goals in life, then my life is pointless. is that true? i dont know. it was just a thought… let me try to philophosize this real quick. if someone has no goals in life… maybe theyre just there to observe. observe the happenings of the world. how can certain lives be pointless and others significant? exactly. every life has the same amount of significance. were all here for a reason. well. i guess we are here to do different things, accomplish different tasks. but are those tasks on a ranking of importance? i want to think not. i dont think i think that. haha. im unsure. okay i just thought a little bit and im pretty sure there is no ranking, that we are of equal importance. yes. unless the universe is unfair or something… and i feel like the only unfair thing is humans. like were fucked up fr. oof this candle has been burning for too long and i have a headache now. well. this process is going to be long and drawn out. i look forward to see how i come out of it. i wonder if this is a collective happening throughout the world, or if its because of my age, or my birthchart, or if its just me. hm. i have to shit ill b back.

is it time to indulge? time to reflect and confront? or time to learn? the answer… do what you feel like doing. if you have any feeling like you dont feel like doing something… dont do it. yeah. simple as that. sometimes i forget, and thats understandable. your mindset is changing. change is not linear. its okay. i love you. i love me. do what you feel like doing. my two options are jack off, or read. mmm i feel like jacking off lol. thats what i mean though… is there a point where indulgence gets to be too much? and then i think, why are you worrying about that? just enjoy your life. stop worrying about whether something is good or bad, because youre thinking too much. using your head too much. not using your body enough. listen to your body more than your mind. when you start to thinking about whether youre getting too indulgent, youre limiting yourself, and your overthinking about things that do. not. matter. it doesnt matter. you do what you feel you should do. not what you think. your thoughts are influenced by your environment. your body is your body. bitch if yo coochie tingling play with it. if you feel like getting high then get high. if u feel like watching tv or doing nothing, then do that. dont feel bad. what the fuck. thats what other people have conditioned you to think. why would you feel bad about doing stuff that makes you feel good. stop that. i love you. who am i talking to? i feel like theres another person in my mind. ive always felt like that… always have conversations with myself. i think thats a good thing. always the devils advocate, seeing different perspectives within myself. i wonder where it comes from. is it me talking to myself? is it just me replacing the person who i would want to tell me these things? maybe. maybe. sun in my twelfth house.. i keep thinking that has something to do with it. sense of self is hidden. maybe me conversing with myself is that sense of self coming out of its hiding spot. im discovering myself, instead of just being a product of my environment. its me. its just me. its just been hidden. yes. hello. we are going to be friends. is it mental illness or a spiritual awakening lol. that was a joke. a meme i saw earlier. well. what a realization. i am curious to see this sense of self more in the future. hm. taking notes on the computer is so much easier because i type much faster than i write, however i am concerned about the digital aspect. im getting a hard drive soon. bye now.

#journal #spiritual journey #astrology #human design

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zooone · 5 months

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hello!! I've just found your blog here and I've been really wanting to try and write for wilbur like you do!! though I'm new to writing, could you give me some tips on when you're new to writing? :DD

hi!!!! im so sorry it took me so long to answer this i was trying to gather up as many tips as i could ^_^ im sooo honored that youre asking for my help it makes me so happy!! here's a ton that ive learned just based off my experience, im no like professional and this is all just tips ive accumulated to my style over time

–one, and i think this is the most crucial in a fanfic setting, but CAPTIVATE YOUR READERS!!!

when i write, i try to replicate books as best as i can (more on that later), but this is the one thing that a book author could get away with that a fanfic writer cant.

because your piece is only something that people will find through scrolling and its (more than likely) not a fully fledged book, people are more inclined to click off if you dont IMMEDIATELY captivate them.

i often see people begin a fic with a couple paragraphs of context (and again this is absolutely no hate to anyone who does this, its just what ive found to work best) which can be interesting if done right, but chances are that readers wont enjoy it if you hand everything to them on a silver platter. they stay engaged when you keep them guessing or predicting.

and i get thats difficult to do with just a tiny little blurb!! but when i write- no matter if its 100 words or 10k words, i ALWAYS start off with dialogue. quotation marks are the first thing that people are drawn to and i find it catches people's attention more when there's immediate action.

the exception i have is with the gr!wilbur fic; i tried to set the scene a little bit without giving too much information, and then i started it with one of my favorite starters:

"he stomped away from her on the rooftop as she followed after him."

i remember researching "how to start a book" cuz i was so unmotivated with a blank space, and then i found a video that talked about a book (i cant find the video nor the book) that began with an intro along the lines of this.

it seems so simple but it does so much. it introduces the main characters (gr!wilbur and angel), shows the setting (rooftop), and sets up a conflict that can keep readers engaged (why is he stomping away from her? why is she following?)

it was such an actually life changing thing to find and its just so creative.

–two, make sure that youre making it clear whos talking!!

this is a bit more difficult if youre someone like me who doesnt like the you/your or even the i pronouns in fics (idk it just seems too personal to me, i like to think of the reader as a character in itself), but it is still equally as important to establish whose speaking in the text.

THIS ALSO INCLUDES MAKING A NEW PARAGRAPH FOR NEW PIECES OF DIALOGUE!!!!!

look at the difference between;

"hey- i didn't expect a hello from you, but a thank you would at least be nice!" she yelled as he speed-walked away with his grumpy walk and stone shoulders. "i'm talking to you!"

"and i'm not," he grumbled, fiddling to put his hood back onto his head as a way of closing himself off.

"just-" she flapped her wings, trying to be alongside him. "just have some gummy worms, please?"

and

"hey- i didn't expect a hello from you, but a thank you would at least be nice!" she yelled as he speed-walked away with his grumpy walk and stone shoulders. "i'm talking to you!" "and i'm not," he grumbled, fiddling to put his hood back onto his head as a way of closing himself off. "just-" she flapped her wings, trying to be alongside him. "just have some gummy worms, please?"

its the same words and the same text and the same dialogue but the second is just SO compressed and confusing to read "especially if you have a character talk like this" "and then another piece of dialogue with nothing in between"

another thing i like to do to establish this is have alternating dialogue. this was difficult to do since gr wilbur isnt exactly the talkative type, but i wouldnt make angel speak in one paragraph, and then the next speak again. if that makes sense.

like this;

"i want you to have them right now," she enunciated her words, crossing her arms and trying to copy his expression. she was fighting her usual bright smile under her pursed lips. "in front of me."

"you look like you haven't been taking care of yourself," as she spoke through a pout, he could feel his face warming up, like tiny little punching bags beneath his skin. "i wanna make sure you're eating."

its reallyyyy obvious that when there's a conversation, its two people speaking. and from just a reader's standpoint, i began to read the second pragraph as if it was wilbur speaking. which of course didn't make sense.

so even if character 2 (wilbur in this case) doesnt speak, i try to add either a description (what are they doing? even if character 2 isnt responding, how are they reacting to character 1? whats their body language? facial language?) or a small tinyyyy bit of dialogue.

–three, sometimes less is more!!!

a lot of the times when i try to paint a picture, i end up over explaining things and the meaning of the words get lost when i use too many of them.

you could have the most profound description thatll make readers wanna tug their hearts out, but if its too overused then it kinda loses its meaning. its like the dynamics of a song in the sense that the loud parts are only loud because there are super soft parts.

heres an example i have from one of my older fics;

"Your teeth bit on the inside of your cheek as you sat down, more closer to the stage this time. Your knee rose and fell quickly as your leg bounced with nerve."

it may not seem like a lot, but chances are that people already understood the fact that the reader was nervous, so showing that she bit her lip AND was bouncing her leg was just counterintuitive.

there are so many more examples of me doing this in the past but umm i dont wanna unearth those anymore

dont get me wrong; you should still add descriptors, but just dont overdo it. and sometimes i see people who have the opposite, in the sense that they dont have enough descriptors and its equally as confusing. so find a happy medium!!

example of not enough;

"hi wilbur!" she spoke.

"hi, angel," he responded.

"how are you?" she smiled with a giggle.

he sighed happily at her laughter. "i'm good."

im so guilty of this honestly and im so rusty cuz a huge factor of it is practice!!!

–four, this kind of links to the last one, but Little Details.

this might just be a personal preference, but i love little details When theyre done right!!

one of my favorite people who does this is the infamous writer . u know her . u love her. @harbingerofheartbreak my very good friend

i first noticed this in her fic, "archangel," soot;

"i know he's a prick. do you think i want him to teleport to me everytime i have a fucking mental breakdown?" you slammed the sponge down and turned to him, pointing a soapy finger.

reading the words "soapy finger" like actually changed my life in a way i didnt know was possible. just the adding of small details that arent just "she shrugged" or "he sighed", but instead adding to the setting and scene and adding special little details Without Overdoing It!!!

it just . ugh . i dont know if its just a writer noticing these small things, but i find it really cool how it adds so much and makes you really feel like the author put work into making those tiny little things.

also another huge personal preference but i really love alliteration and play on words type stuff. i will always sneak in a little alliteration just to keep my work interesting with a certain flow to it. also (if your reader is anyone like me), putting a little alliteration adds emphasis and attention to certain things.

its really really nice, but the accumulation of all these little details takes SO much attention and so much practice, so dont be frustrated if its difficult to think of on your first couple tries!!

–five, dialogue!!

i spoke about trying to replicate books as best as i can, and dialogue is one of the most important things in that sense. i often see fics who show expression through dialogue, and i used to do it too, but it just looks generally unprofessional (imo!!)

for example;

"WILBUR!!" she screamed. "WILBUR GIVE IT BACK!!!- I'LL KILL YOUUU!!"

wilbur laughed. "i-i dont... know what y-you're talking about..-! haha..."

"wilbur!" she yelped, suffocated through her laughter. her lungs betrayed her as she playfully slapped him. "wilbur give it back- ill kill you!"

wilbur frantically looked around, his hands behind his back and his eyes wandering. "i dont- i dont know what youre talking about." he spoke, in a sing-song tone.

kinda an exaggeration but ive seen so many fics write dialogue like the first one and idk if its another personal preference, but it just doesnt seem really professional. and usually when you put all the emotion into dialogue like that, it takes away from the emotion you could incorporate into a character's actions or body language or even their thoughts.

i try to avoid writing dialogue in all caps or with too much punctuation or stuttering, because again, less is more. but also dont do too little;

“see wilbur it wasn’t so difficult was it?” she giggled, and the noise stabbed wilbur a thousand times in the stomach.

“actually it was,” he bit the inside of his cheek, rocking back and forth on his heels with nervousness. “my bed is a literal stone i wish it were made out of feathers."

“see, wilbur? it wasn’t so difficult, was it?” she giggled, and the noise stabbed wilbur a thousand times in the stomach.

“actually, it was,” he bit the inside of his cheek, rocking back and forth on his heels with nervousness. “my bed is a literal stone. i wish it were made out of feathers."

it may seem minuscule, but things like this can ruin the flow of your work. what keeps me engaged as a reader is the plot or the writing style or the characters, not the fact that i have to slow down to remind myself whos talking or where they were supposed to pause when they spoke. that kinda stuff just unmotivates me to read it, if that makes sense.

–six, FORESHADOWING AND CONNECTING

one of the most powerful things ever is foreshadowing and as above so below has a TON of it. idk if i can share examples cuz a lot of it is foreshadowing for the sequel, but i like to picture foreshadowing as a sort of inside joke. its special cuz it feels like a little secret between you and the author that only you know. it also shows that you have a coherent plan and youre not just writing on the fly. its professional and its personal.

another huge thing is connecting. wrap the story up the same way you began it or make small nods to it as you go.

in the beginning;

she had a lot of questions about wilbur.

not the type of, "what's your favorite color?" or "what's your favorite band?" questions. more like, "on a scale of one to ten, how much does being a murderer really affect your mood?"

all of these questions would go unanswered. including "what's your favorite band?" no matter what, she just could not crack the code of wilbur soot.

to say he was intricate would be an understatement, and her ongoing curiosity would surely be the death of her.

unless he had something to do about it.

at a turning point;

“so, what’s your favorite color?” she asked in a light tone, licking at her ice cream.

a wave of dismay washed over his face. he couldn’t think. “t-teal?”

“really? i wouldn’t have guessed that,” she swung her legs beneath the bench, clearly unbothered by wilbur’s confusion. “you don’t really dress like a teal-lover. do you think the moon is real?"

what?

"no, bad question. hmm. what’s your favorite band?”

his heart fell into the pit of his stomach, thorns poking at his sides creating a terrible sting on his abdomen. he opened his mouth to speak- maybe cry and release his feelings; but nothing came up. not even an answer to her stupid question. it was nauseating.

she began talking about the sort of music she liked, but none of it struck his brain. he felt sick. he wanted to scream and sob and punch something. but he sat still like he was posing for a renaissance painting.

at the end;

she still had a lot of questions for wilbur.

not the type of, "what's your favorite color?" or "what's your favorite band?" questions. more like, "wilbur? hello? please help- this hurts- are you still there?"

and she was starting to lose hope in the fact that those questions might be answered.

one things for sure; her curiosity will be the death of her.

unless he's got the courage to do something about it

even just the slight nod to the beginning gives your readers a reminder of everything, and drawing back to your beginning is like wrapping everythint up with a nice little bow ^_^

–seven, characterization and descriptors

this could also connect to one of the previous tips, but Stop Describing Characters So Much when theyre introduced!!

if you're introducing a character, dont give an entire paragraph to describing their height, eye color, hair color, clothes, etc. its boring and doesn't engage people and it messes up the flow.

dont get me wrong, you can mention those things in quick passing so that your reader isnt confused (ie "his brown hair stood up, still clinging to the static electricity from his hat." or "her white dress went along with the patterns of the wind") but having just one big long paragraph like;

"wilbur was tall. very tall compared to everyone else. he had brown eyes and bushy eyebrows that carried his emotions. he wore a gray hood that sometimes covered his face. he wore a bag that slung across his torso. his brown hair was usually uncombed and messy. he had bags under his eyes."

its just generallt not interesting enough!! tell me about his body language; whats his posture look like? does he hold his head up high with confidence? is he slouched over in careless sadness?

AND ALWAYSSSS OVEREXAGGERATE INTRODUCTIONS I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGHHH

pick a signature trait for your character and make it THE most noticeable thing when theyre first introduced.

angel is naive and optimistic? shes gonna sound stuck up and unrealistic to such an extent that its almost annoying.

wilbur is grumpy? the first thing hes gonna do is be super duper mean and hurt everyones feelings

quackitys a jokester? first thing he does is tell wilbur to literally take his shirt off

there's such a power in establishing a character into a certain category and playing with that. think about their characterization; is this category gonna change? will it change positively or negatively? will it change quickly? what makes it change? why? theres SO much to he said about character arcs in itself.

another huge thing about characterization is just being realistic. it doesnt really apply to au fics like gr!wilbur, but if youre writing a blurb about wilbur at a concert- im so sorry but there is barely a chance that hes gonna go up to one of his Fans and instantly fall in love with them.

and everyone has a preference of course!! if thats your kind of jam, go ahead im not judging. but as a personal preference, i don't really enjoy it when the characters dont seem realistic or wilbur's dialogue is definitely not something that he would say.

but again, at the end of the day, everyone has their preferences and by all means tweak your writing to YOUR standards!! write whatever makes you happy!! dont let some writer named zone let you dictate how to write and what you should or shouldnt write. it should all be with your own preference (and also respecting other peoples boundaries ofc)

one of the biggest mistakes ive made as a writer was robotically writing, or in other words only writing so that i could Produce something and get a couple notes on tumblr and thats it. doing that is what made me fall out of love and with writing.

aasb was the first fic i finished on my own accord, and of course i had friends like flore and carrie to push me on to continue, but i wrote it because it was an idea i loved. not because i wanted to post it for the people of tumblr. thats one of the beautiful things that flore taught me, whether it was unintentional or not, but its helped me so much.

and a ton of these tips takes Time and Practice as everything unfortunately does. ive certainly improved my writing game since like 4 years ago from both reading and writing to pick up certain little traits that ive loved from other peoples works and incorporated it into my own style.

i think the person whose had the most influence on my writing is. in fact. florence harbingerofheartbreak. and im not even saying that cuz shes my friend im genuinely so amazed by her work and her stuff is severely underrated

and also this is only a fragment of tips, there are a plethora of actual professionals that could give out their tips but again at the end of the day its all what You Do.

and by all means id loooove to read any of your works (not just this anon, any of your guys' works) so please please please dont be afraid to send em to me!! i hope these tips help ^_^

#asks #writing tips

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i-bring-crack · 1 year

Text

Shadow Soldier Esil!

Okay an AU where Esil dramatically(accidentally) dies during the final boss fight, Sung is sad for a bit, doesn't know if he should bring back the body to his parents since he did promise her safety ah, and this might lead to a war with the last clan when—

[You can extract this Demon's Shadow]

"Huh?!" He couldn't before and now he can?

But she seemed nice... should he do it?

Well, he did technically cause her death(kinda) so he does. The darkness encapsulates her body, a new shade of paleness appears on her skin, and dark red irises are now replaced within the glowing blue of his shadows, and a flicker of light white light.

It seems she cant speak like she used to, whe Esil notices this too, she covers her mouth quickly. Then starts writting on the sand with a scale from one of the destroyed demons.

{You have revived me?}

Jin Woo nods. "I had made a promise to your father to keep you safe, yet i failed. Im sorry."

Her new memories have been recovered, as well as those that have been replicated in the dungeon. However, no matter how much she hold the scalp of the demon in place, or triesto write with her fingers, her mind blanks. She looked to her side, there is that marshal she has seen before, The Blood Red Commander.

She understands it all now, and begins to write anew, a different thought in her mind.

{You have freed me from death, God of Death, and for that, my life is yours to wield as you please.}

"Really?"

[??? level 5

Rank: Knight]

"Esil...ah, just Esil, will that be alright?"

The shadow drops a sigh, her attitude still not changed towards Jin Woo despite being under the influence of the system. With a slow nod and a small frown she nods back.

Her name is now Esil.

"Good. Esil, we have to leave quickly so I dont know if we will be able to let you meet your father for the last time--"

The shadow is oddly touched by the sudden attitude, she raises a hand up and writes down that there is no need, all of the words that needed to be said have been said, besides, that demon on the other floors, as well as everyone else except her, is somewhere else, dead or not, these beings are memories she doesnt wish to go back to.

---

Despte being a small and weak shadow compared to all others like Iron or Igris, Esil does her best to help around, with a quick speed she can easily defeat more oponents than before, and now that she isnt so scared of death like she was in the past, Esil can use the full extent of her abilities.

For the most part she would be training in the shadow domain with Igris, also a swordsman like her, or be hunting down demons left and right with Iron and the rest of the beasts.

"Esil, I want you to guard Jin Ah." Jin Woo guesses that she might be the most fit out of all his shadows, since she seems to pose for a less threatning type unlike the golems and huge knights at her disposal, but after Jeju and all the level up to Elite knight in such a short amount of time, he has confidence in Esil to be at least the power of an S rank, meaning Jin Ah would be powerful enough for even A rank beasts to not be a threat to her well being.

Which leads Esil and Jin Ah to a weird meeting when Esil accidentally is found using the bathroom to style her hair. (She thought Jin Ah was sleeping but... oh boy, humans have to go pee at night huh.)

"So you are one of my oppai's summons?" Jin Ah asks whille they are both on the sofa, with the little sister styling her hair in whatever way the girl likes to do. Esil shyly nods, praying to no one that Jin Woo doesnt kill her because she was found out, ah! but its been ages since she has taken care of herself or even looked at herself! She really just wanted to at least braid her hair! My liege dont kill m for this!!

"Cool! Can you talk?"

Esil shakes her head.

"What about writting?"

Cue Esil learning Korean in a few months. Beru also teaching her some phrases of modesty and being proud he knows Korean and Japanese. Esil also learns some Japanese along the way while talking to Beru, both getting along surprisingly well inside the domain because they like watching Korean Dramas.

Jin Ah, and Song Yi, also likes to play dress up with the Demon princess, often coming back from a shopping spree and trying out new things on her.

"Jin Ah, don't go buying so much stuff now that your brother is an S rank."

"Aww. But mom! Look at her she is so pretty! And besides, we have so much money now, I promise we are just going to rent clothes from now on, and there not even a lot, so pleaseee~~~"

Esil also helps around in the house, since the mom bearly got out of the hospital after sleeping for years, so her body must have been dense and not willing to do a lot of work.

Park is thankful for such a good princess that she is, even if her knowledge is albeit, a bit lacking in the caring for someone department. So Park has to be there to teach her how to use certain utensils, clean the house and other kinds of stuff. Sometimes she burns out a few things and leaves the house in a messier state than before, which prompt Jin Ah to also help her clean when she isn't in school or doing her homework.

But at the end, she is getting better at it.

(Sidenote: Esil works as a maid at night-time, following every step mother park lay out to her, and then when Jin Ah has to go to school she slips back into her shadow and learns a lot more than Jin Ah is taking notes on. She loves History and Math, which is a blessing to Jin Ah because she is a wreck in those two subjects.

Esil becomes some sort of tutor to Jin Ah, while also studying everything else alongside her. She even uses what she learned in school to advance her knowledge and technique over the world they are in.)

Phew! This is one of the first times she has ever worked so hard! And just look at the cleaned spots, all the laundry done and the breakfast prepared for breakfast, dinner and lunch before they even wake up!

"Hah! I'm such a good house maid! Take that Beru! He said I would be able to clean even a bug from my Liege's house because of my "princess attitude" but look at me now! I have overcome my fears yet again!"

"Esil??"

The demon stubles back, her body falling right on the bucket full of dirty mop water which lands back on the floor.

Noooo, it took three times to clean it so spotlessly!!

Of course there isn't any time to cry about it when Jin Woo suddenly hold her up and looks at her very very confused.

"You can talk?!?"

Esil shows him the phone, one that has text to speech app put on it. Though she was just writing it out, didn't really mean to press it play right now.

Jin Woo isn't mad. Just slightly annoyed no one told him why Jin Ah suddenly had a shopping habit and why his mother never once looked so tired from doing all the housework.

After cleaning up the mess, he did want to thank the demon, though he sure how, so he simply patted her head and thanked her for all the hard work.

Which seemed to be a little too much since the princess started crying and rapidly thanking out her phone saying that it was not a problem at all, she shouldn't be thanked, she was doing the bare minimum, Yada Yada, Sung stopped her from typing out more and getting on her knees.

"You did well, Esil"

The other two shadows that where inside Jin Ah's shadow were made to stand by at the classroom were the Liege's sister stood, meanwhile Esil started to fight the other magic beasts like she was out for blood. Which, considering just how much time she had gotten to learn about the people in the school, all the friends Jin Ah had and all the other innocent kids that at one point where just like her, never meant to be suddenly killed because of a meaningless war.

She was, she was coming out for blood.

The first floor, some of them died, the second and third where almost spotless. At least Jin Ah never got to experience it up close. Yet one to two always escaped from her grasp. The golems decided to gang up on her at another moment. She was sending out all of her alarms to inform the King that Jin Ah was in danger, but he didn't come.

Fear trembled out of every bone in her body when the wounds would start healing at a slower pace. Esil didn't know what it could possibly mean. Still she did what she could to at least stop them from harming the other students. And when one of her arms had been cut off, Esil chose to run.

Unsurprisingly, the magic beasts chased her down.

Good. That's what she wanted in the first place.

As Esil ran around the halls, she commemded one of the two shadow soldiers to grab the rest of the kids and guide them to Jin Ah's classroom.

Once all the survivors lay inside that classroom, then she would be fine to...

Her arm slowly started growing back, she was elighted to see it so. Her King was close now, then Jin Ah would be safe and she wouldn't need to worry—

SLASH!

"So you are the demoness that has been killing my soldiers and annoyed me from taking over the world."

Her phone cracked, she couldn't say anything, and her body was slowly being shaken up by a sudden wave of mana.

Mana that didn't come from the dungeon boss. It came from the person behind him.

"You did well, Esil, now go."

The dungeon boss moved his head around. Quickly, as Esil's body was regenerating, she retreated back to the classroom, not wanting to face the absolute bloodshed that was to come.

----

"My Liege forgive me! I'm really sorry! Due to my failure to keep my promises my Liege has once again been hurt! I have committed a great sin I know I have and you may punish me as you please but forgive me My Lord for my incompetence!"

"Esil—"

She hugged his leg.

"Pleaseee I'm sorrryyyy I really tried. Don't send me back to sleep pleaseeeeee!!"

"Esil, Esil listen to me I know you did your best, and I'm not going to send you away so calm down."

It was his first time seeing a shadow tear up. "Really?"

"Yes. I'm just going to leave Beru in their care now, you can move back to fight in Beru's place instead. I know you are strong, but you need to become stronger if you want to keep protecting Jin Ah and my mother. So until you reach a higher grade, you will be doing raids with me."

"...ok." She nodded. "Will I still be able to see them?" She scribbles out in her notebook and Jin Woo has to admit he is a bit jealous of how beautiful her hand writing is compared to his. Is because of her past? *shrug*

"Yes, when I come back from the raids you can join Jin Ah in her studies—Ah! Why are you crying again?!"

----

Other fun shenanigans:

• Jin Woo and Esil bake together. Esil ends up burning hers which makes Jin Woo laugh.

• Igris treats Esil like a little Swordsman Junior.

•At first Beru is intolerable to Esil, but they get somewhat along when they watch K historial dramas and often comment on how obvious it is that character will die or that character will end up marrying the protagonist. Or how that one is totally the villain!

•Jin Woo buys Esil a text to speech machine that has been inveted since the experimentation with machines and mana. It can use her thoughts and translate them into the sound that appears in the tiny microphone that Esil wears as a necklace. One time a magic beast tried to catch it. Jin Woo saw her massacrating a body in such a messy way for the first time.

•Jin Ah created an Instagram account for her. There Esil cosplays as random elf girls from ranging topics from Games to Anime to just popular media in general. They can only do this on the weekends though but Esil has such a huge Fanbase starting from her first post.

• She also gets dressed up in her shadow armor. The one from the first chapters when Jin woo meets her, with the helmet and all. That's mostly what she wears on her raids.

•She treats Jin Hoo with a lot of care too, often buying out more food to make a lunch for him too.

• Esil likes to keep trinkets of some beasts she killed. She also hands Jin Ah a pearl necklace whose origin was better not to discuss.

• Esil was thought to be Jin Woo's girlfriend at one point since one of the Instagram posts showed a picture of Jin Woo and Jin Ah framed in the back (It was when Jin Ah made a selfie with her brother, Miss Park wanted to frame it.) And it blew up so much that even some S rank hunters saw them. Ohohoho.

•Jin Woo hugged her and apologized to her when he first had the flashback to the War between The Monarch of White Flames and Beast Monarch against Ashborn.

She was one of the few whose bodies had not been incinerated (by Baran, he didn't want his soldiers to be turned into the soldiers of Ashborn.) And therefore The shadow Monarch could extract her.

She didn't leave the shadow domain, but she wasn't a slacker either. Just as strong as the rest of them, but not by much, she simply handled some organized duties of the King and killed as many as she needed. So it was hard for Ashborn to know whenever Esil wanted to stay or leave. Her small and fragile attitude was also why Igris cared for her when they met again. Since the poor girl had lost of all her family, but due to the effects of being a Shadow, she couldn't even hate the killer, so she was in a bit of a depression.

Of course it all slowly began to change when she was transported to the Demon realm. She had a choice, to be killed by Ashborn's succesor or to join him until the end.

And meeting this new succesor who looked so weak human-wise and yet so strong as he could summon Igris with him... She choose to stay, thinking that she could have a chance at life again without the need to feel sad that she wasn't joining the side of the person who murdered her family. But rather someone new, a new King of Death. A new Shadow Monarch.

She wasn't following Ashborn out of survival. She was was following Sung Jin Woo out of her own free will.

And the promise to be protected by him only made her resolvement stronger.

Of course she had to get out of the castle, so in an attempt to save Jin Woo on the 100th floor, she chose to attack Baran, her progenitor and ancestor, causing her to end her life.

Maybe this time, she can save a world from the same world that has brought hers to extinction.

#esil #Esil #Esil radiru #sung jinwoo #sung jin woo #Sung Jin Woo x Esil Radiru #best waifu now!#canon divergent au #fanfic #we need more Esil in our lives #Beru and Esil watching K dramas omg #Jin ah twich streams their conversations.#Sung Jin Ah #yoo jin ho #song yi #fuck i forgot the name om Jin Woos mother #OMG the monarch fight will be crazy if Esil reaches a stronger level and has to see Jin Woo die but cant do SHIT #I am imagining Commander Level Esil by the midle of the 27 years war with the monarchs #she finally is able to speak #and blabers on about how cool Jin Woo is or about how sad she is she might never be able to see those Korean manwhas in this timelkne #timeline #ahgakwbs #Esil also helping Igris evade the fire breath from Antares #the apprentice has become the master!#But Jin Woo was faster so she could only drag Igris out of the fire and not Jin Woo who was protecting Igris #Bellion spoiling Esil #Esil Beru and Bellion making Jin Woo the demon castle but Jin Woo cant get mad at Esil since she tried her best #solo leveling au #solo leveling manwha

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hikari-ni-naritai · 7 months

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hello. So. It's the historically ace questioning person who asked if I could ask.

A bit of background I suppose, but hopefully not too much...don't want to. tell you our entire life story. yeah. Our. Um

So I'm the main headmate. Of our system. I wasn't always. About a year and change ago I became sorta extent because one of my other headmates was wishing she was asexual (on top of just being super depressed and shit). Just kind of figuring, gosh, being attracted to and trying to date people. I want to. But it's a pain in the ass. Anyway then here I show up. I'm asexual. Or so I think. I go about thinking this while my headmates do all the sexual things sort of. Fast forward a year and then we meet a really nice trans girl. I make a point to all my headmates, do not fucking flirt with this woman. However, my cunt of a headmate flirts with this woman. My headmates have sex with her. And then I have sex with her. And now I'm like. Wait. I'm not asexual

(She's our girlfriend now. I love her) Case closed probably! Except then our one asexual friend is saying we could be asexual still. And then also she says something super curious. That like, to her, her asexuality, is like. Like sex doesn't do anything for her personally, not on its own, but what really actually turns her on is not sex, but making other people happy (with sex). And y'know just. She generally kinda frames it in a different way, sort of. Like our past ace friends would say. "no sex is gross and bad do not do it with anyone" but I guess she sorta frames it more like in the way someone might frame going drinking with friends? Like the average bar-goer might not be obsessed with the alcohol for its own sake but they do it for the social experience? I guess she talks about it like that. Gosh, did I just figure out how to understand this better?

So anyway I guess we're just stuck in this confuzzley overly normative brainstate of asexual = never horny ever/allosexual = horny ever at all and I'm like. Hm. I would like to know more about the spectrum I guess. am I on the spectrum? do I call myself that? does it matter? I don't know! I guess I wonder sometimes! and ALSO and I know you have nothing to say about this probably but we feel less plural lately and I wonder if maybe we're less plural because I'm more comfortable with my sexuality and don't need to fob it off on my headmates? Or I was the original to begin with and I made my headmates to... y'know, pretend to not be me? Or. maybe I'm not like this! Is sending this ask a sign of discomfort or just like. Uncertainty if I should be uncomfortable or even care...

did I just answer all my own questions oh my fucking god

Anyway YOU DO NOT KNOW WHO I AM! I KNOW NOTHING! except for that i may or may not be some flavor or degree of asexual. I also do not expect you to solve this problem for me and understand that you're only but one person who may or may not have thoughts about this and it's okay if you don't! okay. bye

wow you just helped me understand people who drink socially. thanks!

anyway like, the thing about asexuality is that its a pretty wide spectrum! there's people who are fully sex-repulsed, theres people who have sex every day, and theres people everywhere in between. and i dont think any of us ever have like a Really Super Simple relationship with our sexuality. but i DO know that being ace doesnt preclude you from having romantic feelings for the girl you were talking about! that would be aromantic. which is something i understand less despite being on the spectrum of that too.

but like, the key thing of asexuality is that you just dont experience sexual attraction on the same level as most people. like if i walk down a busy street full of attractive people, the number of people i would look at and say 'damn i would like to have sex with her' would be zero. and by and large i am repulsed by the idea of sex, and have almost no libido to speak of. and this is fine with me, i dont really want to change that. i like this about me.

but that doesnt mean im not open to the idea of sex in certain situations! im in a weird place between the two types of people youve described. sex is neither Bad nor Casual. the best word to describe it would be Sacred, But Not How Christians Talk About It. it's something only desirable in specific situations, and not thought about outside of them. and the situations for me are, boringly, a very committed relationship, and, more interestingly, casually in the case of playing out a very specific kink. but im not actively seeking out either of these situations. im unlikely to fall in love so theres no chance of a romantic relationship, and it takes a certain rare kind of person for the other situation. and the idea of getting laid isnt really enough of a draw to actually make efforts towards either thing.

so like, even though im not wholly opposed to sex, im still pretty firmly and solidly ace. yknow? and its very possible that thats where you are! maybe youd feel more comfortable with a demisexual label, where youre only interested in sex with people youre close with? but also a lot of the demisexual people ive met have a level of base horny that i lack, so even though im open to sex with someone close to me, i feel more comfortable with the ace label.

really its just something you'll have to figure out on your own. i dont know if ive cleared anything up or just made it worse, but you are always welcome to come back with more questions!

ps dick move on your headmate's part tell them emily said that

pps youre right i have no comments on how plural you are or arent, i dont know enough about how that works, but i wish you luck in figuring it out and you should always go with what makes you most comfortable! <3

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mugmegan · 9 months

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I just went and watched the miraculous movie because I am the simple art nerd that I am and cant resist pretty looking movies no matter what they are about and frankly... it isnt as bad as anyone says.

I saw people say pacing was a problem but I dont think it was that noticable of a thing. There were some really fast cuts here and there but it wasnt a consistent thing throughout the movie. You can comfortably enjoy the pacing for the most of it in my opinion. Plus, there were a lot of other scenes that let the moment breathe and had a good direction to them. I enjoyed the moments where the camera just focused on things and let them move.

Other than that this was a pretty feel good/simple movie that doesnt aspire to be anything of a masterpiece so dont expect it to change your life or whatever (and review it like you would some pixar movie, dont even bother to talk about character development, plot progression, themes etc. it doesnt matter) and I think it isnt hard to have a good time with it if you like cheesy animated movies. I certainly found a lot of things to enjoy about it.

Like yes. It was pretty as hell. Wow. There are some scenes where the animation gets especially SUPER pretty more than it already is. And they save it for good occasions. If I could spend an hour praising this movie and 50 minutes of it would be talking about lightning and textures probably. Also the animation was cartoony strecthy which is so fun.

Also also the magical stuff was nice. The kwamis were quirky little creatures and the jewels had their little tricks and stuff. It must have been fun to animate them.

The movie overall had a really fun cartoony, whimsical feel to it which is something the mlb franchise just has I guess. I really like that about it. And the jokes were nice.

My only real complaint would be that it throws around A LOT OF "motivational" phrases that dont actually mean anything and expects them to stick (they dont).

my Not Real but personal complaint is that I hate Cat Noir.

I am The Number One Cat Noir Hater on this site. This is now a Cat Noir hate account.

Dont debate me on this. This is personal. I hold the right to be petty.

That is all.

#mlb movie #ml movie #miraculous ladybug awakening #miraculous ladybug movie #mlb #miraculous ladybug #careless whishper plays twice #I didnt actually know the name of that song so when I saw people talking about it I thought it was just some well known love song #didnt expect the number one most obvious meme music to play watching this movie wtf wtf #its a good thing I didnt see this in theathers I wouldve cackled #my god #also marinette is my daughter and anything she does is precious #and kristina vee is a goddess and I dont know why they didnt let her sing #even though the person who sang the songs WAS good I loved her voice

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youalreadyhavefullresults · 2 years

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It doesnt work. I've done things wrong, and then I've done things "right", I've gone meta and realized my own power and lived in the knowing and not put in any effort and was 100% sure of things happening to the point I literally starting forgetting that it wasn't in the 3d yet, and it still didn't happen. I know what you're gonna say. It's my self concept. No, it's not. I believe in myself, I think I'm capable, I think I'm worthy, I dont obsess over techniques or affirming cuz I'm powerful. You're gonna tell me to persist. In what? How long should you persist before you realize it's not happening? Days? Months? Years? How much glaring evidence in the 3d do you need before you say yeah this isn't happening. You're gonna tell me to stop having negative thoughts. Well, I'm supposed to be god, right? If I'm God then my negative thoughts shouldn't manifest anyways.... right? Right? You're gonna say I did this thing wrong, or that thing wrong, or I didn't live in the end well enough, Well guess what? I did, I just naturally assumed I was going to get in my dream college to the point I started mentally putting aside clothes to pack and started checking the weather there. You're gonna say, well if you've been doing everything right then you wouldn't be sending this ask right here. I didn't acknowledge things not going my way and continued to be positive for 2 years. 2 whole years. And dont you dare say I should keep doing that when people manifest changing their whole life overnight. Everything that loa blogs talk about, I've done it. I've done it all. And I still failed. I've failed in manifesting things before, and those times I knew where I went wrong. But this time was different, I did every single thing right, and still I have to look at the list of selected people NOT having my name on it. I've been at this for years now, and this is my last straw. If the law works for you, congrats, you're lucky. I dont really have a set reason for sending this, but I had to let it out some where, but dont you dare come at me telling me to pErSIst, cuz god knows I've persisted enough.

ok look, as someone who’s also been in the loa community for like 2 years now, i get it. It’s totally frustrating when you keep doing whatever people say and then it doesn’t work. But let’s just break down your rant here, shall we? You claim that you’re doing everything right, and that you have been persisting, but really, have you?

I believe in myself, I think I'm capable, I think I'm worthy, I dont obsess over techniques or affirming cuz I'm powerful

Ok, then answer this. If you are so powerful and have a perfect self-concept, then why are you here lol? If you had a perfect self concept, then you wouldn’t feel the urge to make this long rant about not getting your desires?

How long should you persist before you realize it's not happening? Days? Months? Years?

Ok anon, just before I say anything, what’s your thoughts on manifesting? Do you think it happens instantly, or do you think there’s a time lag? Based on this, you seem to think you have to persist for a really long time before you see any results. If you’re feeling frustrated that your results aren’t here yet and that they’re taking so long, why not just affirm that they come instantly? It seems like you need to work on your own assumptions about manifesting itself before thinking about your desires.

How much glaring evidence in the 3d do you need before you say yeah this isn't happening.

Hon, that’s the thing. You’re not supposed to be looking for evidence in the 3d. You’re not supposed to be acknowledging the old story either. The 4d, your desires, is the only thing that should matter. Ofc there’s going to be “glaring evidence” in the 3d if you keep internalizing the fact that your desire isn’t here.

If I'm God then my negative thoughts shouldn't manifest anyways.... right?

I mean, yes. But you being god is not the reason why it doesn’t manifest. Everything in life happens because you assume it. So if you build up that assumption, then it won’t happen. But until then, I suggest you make sure that you aren’t entertaining any of the thoughts in your head. They’re pretty much harmless until you start giving them attention.

And dont you dare say I should keep doing that when people manifest changing their whole life overnight.

People do that because they have the assumption that they manifest over night. Take the 3dolc x roe challenge that’s been trending recently. If you go through the success stories, you’ll see that everyone was mainly affirming that they receive their desires within 3 days or less, and therefore, they received it pretty quickly. You’ll be able to do the same if you set some sort of assumption that you manifest quickly.

I dont really have a set reason for sending this, but I had to let it out some where, but dont you dare come at me telling me to pErSIst, cuz god knows I've persisted enough.

My advice for you anon? I really think you should take a break for a bit. You seem like you’re obsessed with getting into your dream college, and while I completely understand you, you need to step back for a bit. You’re not going to get anywhere if you keep coming at it thinking you’re going to fail. I’m not telling you to persist, I just think you should take a break from loa, and then come back and work on the assumptions you currently hold about it.

I was in the same boat a few months ago. I was an anxious senior who was so stressed about college apps that I did absolutely everything I could think of to make it happen, from listening to subliminals to affirming for hours. But it was so difficult when that seemed to be the only thing that everyone talked about. I eventually got through it tho, and now I’m going to a great college that I’m proud to be in. I wish you the best of luck anon, because I know if I can do it, then you can do it too.

-cinna

#ask #law of assumption #mine #self concept #loa #manifesting #motivation #manifestation

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nextstopparis · 2 years

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What about some merlin questions are you up for that?

I'd like to know what your favorite episode or story arc is and also if you could write a canon compliant alternate universe fic that would come true which episode or moment would that be?

OHHHHHHH OKAY omg idk if this will be long but. if it is im sorry

my favourite episode has changed over time. it used to be the eye of the phoenix episode (bc of gwaine, ofc, but also bc competent/smart arthur is nice to see every now and again etc), but i think now its 2.08 (which im sure no one saw coming😫) however special shoutout to 1.09, 2.12, 3.07, and 5.13 bc 🫶🫶🫶🫶 (i also want to give SOME props to the troll eps because while they do make me uncomfortable and i think theyre ehhh… i also think some of the best writing for arthurs characterization came from them so. sigh. you win some u lose some i guess)

my answer for everything else sort of branches off from 2.08 being my favourite. i love the history between nimueh and uther and ygraine and i looovveeeee all the complications and twists and implications that come with arthur being born of magic. that the thing uther has raised him to hate and fight and whatever is directly responsible for his birth and so very inherent to him as a person—not just bc of his destiny but because its literally responsible for his existence. like we always talk about how big of a hypocrite uther obviously is but i dont think ive ever seen anyone talk about how deeply fucked up it is that uther has such a deep rooted hatred for the thing that—sure, may have killed his wife (though thats his own fault) but also—made the birth of his SON possible. and then made his son hate it and fear it as well. (and just the fact that it never quite stuck, anyway.)

i really like the story arc of 2.08 and how arthur proves himself noble and worthy to morgause just by virtue of being himself and sticking to his ideals. i love the interaction he has with ygraine (and the fact that it could be ygraine or it could be not ygraine or it could be mostly ygraine but not fully). i love that the first thing he says to her is sorry. i love love love getting a glimpse into how arthur thinks of his mom and the relationship he has with her and her ghost and so on. just everything about that interaction (from the hug to the reveal to the sudden loss to the lighting to the fact tHAT HE LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE HER to her saying she loves him shes proud of him uthers betrayal doesnt matter she wouldve given her life willingly anyway) is so so so good to me.

i also like the confrontation with uther. i cant tell you which one i like more because the idea of arthur having such vulnerable and significant interactions with BOTH his parents maybe a day apart is overwhelming even for me but. theyre both excellent in different ways. i love how cold he is at first when confronting uther and i love how he figures uthers hypocrisy out in 2 seconds flat and i love how he progressively loses the cold control and becomes so betrayed and angry and HURT and sksbsksnksjsks just. 2.08 is honestly one of the best episodes ever. i could go on about arthur in the scene with uther but like i dont even know how to articulate it. “you speak of honour and nobility. you’re nothing but a hypocrite and a liar.” really just speaks for itself. (ALSO THE FIGHT SCENE WHERE HES LITERALLY FOCUSED AND ASSESSING HIS FATHER LIKE AN ENEMY AND UTHER FUCKING AIMS TO TAKE HIS HEAD OFF EVEN THOUGH THAT MOVE IS NOT NECESSARY IN ORDER TO PROTECT HIMSELF? LIKE HE LITERALLY GOES FOR A KILL AIM AT HIS OWN SON TWICE DESPITE SAYING I DONT WANT TO FIGHT YOU AND IM UNARMED AND BLAH BLAH BLAH) (like this episode is great for arthur and thats the main reason why i like it so much, but its also a very telling episode for uthers character. LIKE HE HAS A CHANCE TO COME CLEAN AND JUST FUCKING LIES ANYWAY AND ACTS LIKE THE VICTIM OHHHHHHH IM sorry im getting angry. love the ep but the anger i feel because of how they chose to end it will keep me rolling in my grave).

that being said, if i COULD write a canon compliant fic (i mean u can find two here) i would change the ending to that episode. i dont care if merlins there and just doesnt lie or if merlin somehow is absent, all i would change is that arthur would not be lied to again. i would make it so that he knows the truth. thats it. i dont care if he kills uther (to be honest i dont think he wouldve anyway but maybe thats just me) i dont care about literally anything else id just. id let him have the truth he’s entitled to. and id let him have that memory of his mother.

#ok it got a bit long im sorry😞#bbc merlin #2.08 #ask

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