#i have also never had an infection so i cannot help you with that one unfortunately </3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

l0ngschl0ngking · 1 year

Text

Not the person I once knew

Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: past lovers reunite after many years…and then what?

warnings: SMUT (vaginal fingering, oral-m!receiving, protected p in v -i know, shocker-, biting, choking, overstimulation al liiil’ possesive!Joel -just a smudge-), ANGST, mentions of death and shootings, thoughts and mentions of suicide, cursing, Joel and reader being two idiots that cannot express how they feel and…fluff because I can’t help myself

word count: 10k ( yeah the zero is supposed to be there)

A/N: I am too jumping on the Joel Miller train. This fic actually has plot and it’s not just a straight up porn which is shocking :D. Also I am actually crazy - I have a week off from school and that’s why I write that much. I can’t stop - literally.

Your feet were aching – you've had to walk at least 20 or so kilometers by now – and the cold was biting your skin most unpleasantly – finding a good winter coat or any kind of winter clothes was not easy in this fucking Outbreak. You started to feel thirsty and tired and all you wanted to do was lie down and fall asleep – maybe death by cold wasn't the worst fate you could've endured.

Your mind quickly flashing to your group – you've killed most of them, the snarling of them still ringing in your ears, the smell of gunpowder lingering in your nose. You've done what you had to do – one of your guys got infected and infected almost all of the other ones – the ones that survived either left to fend for themselves which you thought was the stupidest thing ever or killed themselves – fucking cowards. Their blood stuck to you like a second skin – the smell of iron making you uneasy when you started to think about it. Maybe you should've killed yourself too. What was the point in surviving now, anyways? You didn't have a group anymore and you had no supplies anymore. Sure, you could eat the snow for water intake and try to hunt something – but you felt too exhausted for that. Your knees buckling – you fall into the cold snow – you hear something then. Voices, the sound of horses neighing and a…dog? Were you starting to hallucinate? You weren't though – the sounds getting louder and clearer – you quickly scramble to your feet and grab your pistol but you pale when you see how many of them are there – all of them looking more sure of themselves on their horses and with their guns raised on you. The dog barks at you, snapping and growling and you've never thought that you might die getting robbed and then mauled by a dog – though they did not look like raiders. Their clothes look clean and kind of new – compared to your worn and torn-off jacket at least.

Someone says something but you don't hear them – your gaze focused on the dog, your pistol pointing at the handler. You've always been a dog lover – before the Outbreak at least – but this didn't look like he wanted to be friends with you.

“Hey, I said drop your fucking gun or I'll shoot your head clean off!” One of them says – repeating himself – and you gulp dryly doing what he says – you were a fighter but also you weren't stupid. There were too many of them and even if you had good aim you wouldn't be able to shoot your way out of this. The guy who addressed you squints his eyes when you lower the gun to your feet – he gestures for you to kick it further and you reluctantly do so.

“Listen here, cowboy,” you sass when you see the cowboy hat on his head, “I was just passing by – my group is dead, they got infected and-” at your words everyone grips their guns a little tighter – the person holding the dog loosening the leash a little in his hands. “Whoa, whoa, I am not infected, I swear.” You sound desperate and you are – you probably should have blown your fucking head of yourself when you still had the chance.

“We will see about that.” One of them gruffs – you guess it's the one closest to you, the one on your right – and you have the urge to break his nose. Yeah, if you were in their position you wouldn't trust someone either but you are not – and you feel pretty fucking terrified – even after years of survival. “Release Buckley!” The first one – the one with that stupid cowboy hat – says and then you see the big ball of fur running towards you. Closing your eyes you pray that he can't smell any jerky on you – you know so he could nibble on your fingers a little and get a taste of you. The pain of teeth digging into you as you expected doesn't come and so you open one of your eyes – you see that the dog's tail is wagging and a grin slowly makes its way on your face. You slowly bend one of your knees - you are not getting any younger and pain shoots through your leg – but you ignore it and start petting Buckley. He's not that bad when he doesn't look like he wants to eat you alive.

A high-pitched whistle cuts through the air and then he is gone – heeling opposite to the person who previously handled him. They don't say anything more and start to slowly turn their horses on their heels when an idea comes to your mind – they look well-fed and clean, and you feel hungry enough that you would eat practically anything. The exhaustion creeps back up at you after the adrenaline wears off and you shout a quick “hey” - their heads turning in question. You offer them a little smile, kicking your feet into the snow and putting your gun back.

“You guys have a place for one more hungry stomach? I just want something to eat – maybe a few hours of sleep and then I'll be out of your hair. Pinky promise.” you grin and show off your pinky finger – you've always had a way of trying to make the situation lighter than it really was and now that you know they don't pose any tŕeal threat – for now at least – you get your hopes up. All of them share a quick look before the one with that stupid cowboy hat – who wears something like that in the middle of the winter – nods and your grin spreads wider. You grab one of the hands that reach towards you to pull you on a horse – and when you are finally on its back, you stroke its muscular thigh lightly. Maybe this day was not so bad after all.

When you arrive at Jackson it is almost noon. You raise both brows when you see the wooden heavy gait in front of you– the people patrolling their stations curiously looking back at you. When you asked them if you could come with them you didn't expect a whole fucking community of people in a small town with electricity and other necessities – your eyes wandering to the various small buildings that look like shops more so than something where you could take shelter. When you asked them if you could come with them you expected a flimsy building without windows in which you would hardly make a fire. You aren't surprised anymore why they acted so tough – families lived here, old couples and people of various ages. A small flicker of hope goes straight to your heart – maybe you could stay here – you were tired of fighting to live another day. And this looked like a great fucking place.

The guy that was riding with you dismounts the horse – helping you do the same and you pet the animal – thanking it quietly. People don't really look at you – at least not so openly as the ones that were taking patrol – they are doing their own things – some of them just crossing the street, others helping to build a new building – you wonder what that is going to be for – a group of kids runs right in front of you squeaking. They play and your heart aches – it's the first time you've seen kids be so carefree since the outbreak happened – it looked like their childhood was not ripped from them. One of the kids – a young girl no older than 6 – looks almost like Sarah – curly wild hair, big eyes and the cutest dimples you've seen adorn her face – and you feel a pang of hurt in your heart. Reaching for your necklace you squeeze the ring that is on it tightly in your palm – Joel and Sarah would love it here.

The man you've called cowboy asks you something and you turn to look at him – he's quite handsome but he is a lot younger than you for sure – he has this boyish innocence still written all over his face when you pin him with your stare. “Sorry, what did you say?”

“I will accompany you to the canteen. Tommy is already waiting there, a few men that were with us already informed him about your arrival.” He sounds formal. Too formal – as if his words were learned. Like a little boy scout you think. Images of Tommy Miller through your mind and you grin fondly at the memory of him – you could never imagine him being a leader of a community like this.

“Lead the way, cowboy.” You don't miss the way that the boy's ears gain a darker shade of red and so do his cheeks.

When he leads you to the canteen – you can't believe that they have a real freakin canteen here – you look around because you can't take it all in at once. Jackson looks like an old town from some kind of cowboy movie – maybe that's why the boy wears the stupid hat. A few people on the way politely greet you and you greet them back. When you arrive at the canteen the bo points to the man that has his back turned back on you and before you can thank him – has gone. The lights adorning the room are a nice touch – it looks old school here – old wooden chairs, and tables with plaid cloth scattered across the room, and you can see an old Coca-Cola freezer from the corner of your eye. Your steps are much lighter – even though you are still hungry and tired you're at least not cold anymore, the temperature here is not as cold as outside. The man that cowboy pointed at talks to someone – an older lady with a high-pitched voice with pretty blue eyes – and you wait before they end their conversation, standing to the side. The lady whispers something to him – you can see her lips moving but don't hear anything – and then the man turns and looks at you. If you have something in your hands right now you would for sure drop it.

Tommy fucking Miller was standing a few steps away from you. He looked older – of course – and his hair was a lot longer than you'd last seen him, the mustache he was sporting suited him. You saw the way he scrunched his brows together – as if trying to categorize you to one of his people – and then you saw the realization cross his eyes. His hands drop to his sides and when you whisper a hushed “Tommy ?” he was right in front of you – hugging you close to his body. The hug was desperate and you felt the tears you held back falling from your eyes – the palms of his hands soothingly caressing your back. After a few minutes or was it seconds he pulls away from you and you have so many questions but none of it comes out of your mouth – the lump in your throat not allowing you to. If he was here – alive and breathing – did it mean Sarah and Joel were here too? Or…No, you couldn't think that way. You had buried the memories of Millers a long time ago – but now, seeing Tommy here? He gave you hope.

“Wow-uh, I’d thought I’d never see you again, Doc.” The small nickname of endearment falling from his lips makes you sob and he softly grabs your elbow so you two could sit at the nearest table – a young woman quickly rushes to your side when Tommy gestures with his hand for her to come and he whispers something in her ear – just now you can see the few people scattered around staring at you curiously.

“Tommy-I-is-is Joel here too? And Sarah.” You grab the ring on your necklace tighter – you've been dreaming of this moment for too long – and he looks at your hand noticing the shiny thing attached to the chain on your neck. The engagement ring Joel proposed with.

“I-uh- I'll tell you everything but you need to eat first, Doc, alright?” You don't feel hungry anymore but you nod – noticing the look in Tommy's eyes makes you uneasy – but he offers you a smile and you offer one right back reaching for his hand – squeezing his hand in yours.

You sit and listen to Tommy talk – you aren't sure if minutes pass or hours – but your eyes nurn from all the crying and you feel your stomach drop with your heart multiple times during Tommy's story telling how he – they – come up here. How Joel was desperate to contact you – you were in Houston on a quick trip with your friends at the time, to look for the wedding dress – seems stupid when you think about it right now. How they killed Sarah – your sweet little Sarah, you thought of her as your own, you've lived with her for almost three years and that girl adored you and you adored her right back – you cannot imagine the pain Joel felt when she was killed right in his arms. Tommy tells you about Joel's suicide attempt too – how he didn't see any purpose in life when both his daughter and fiance were not around anymore, he didn't know if you were still alive. He tells you about his wife, how he got here – how he joined Fireflies for a while and you have the urge to punch him when he says that – you have a distaste for that motherfuckers. He tells you about Ellie – not much though – but enough to figure out Joel cares about that girl a whole lot. And most importantly he announces to you that both of them are here and you almost jump out of your chair to go and find him – but Tommy quickly grabs your elbow and stops you. He tells you about how Joel changed a lot – but so have you. When you tell him that he just shakes his head – you don't understand.

“Doc, I don't know how he will react seeing you after 20 years. He is not the person you once knew. I think you should sleep on it first.”

You want to protest but the sound of the door opening and the rushed call of “Tommy!” stops you. You look at who interrupted you and it's a girl close to Sarah's age. She has short brown hair tightened up in a ponytail and a pair of brown eyes. She has a scar across her brow and when she stops next to Tommy and mutters a quick fuck – you know it's Ellie. Joel's Ellie.

“I heard there's someone new in town and I was super curious – Joel told me to wait for him but then he started playing on his stupid guitar and-” he still plays on a guitar. That pulls a little smile on your face. The girl seems like she didn't even notice you and Tommy wants to open his mouth when Ellie seems finally acknowledges your presence.”Fuck, it's you. You're the new person.” Tommy scolds Ellie when she curses but you just grin at her attitude and seemingly “I want to know and also do know everything ” mindset.

“It's okay, Tommy. God knows I curse a lot too. Hi, Ellie.” She seems confused about how you know her name and you've missed talking to kids – God you have missed your job so much, after all, that's how you and Joel met. Sarah broke her leg and when the nurse told him you could finally see them he was more nervous than a mouse being chased by a cat. He was so worried about Sarah that he didn't even notice you ogled him after you were all done with Sarah – but of course, she did. She was a sweet kind and when they left she muttered to her father he should definitely ask you on a date – he just shook his head and told her not to be silly – you were too pretty for him. Turned out you lived close by and from their visit you've started seeing both Sarah and Joel a lot more outside your work. It was you who finally got the courage to ask the hot single dad out – you will never forget how he gaped at you seemingly not trusting his own voice to answer so Sarah quickly jabbed him in the ribs and said that: “he would very much like that” - he was talking her ear off about you even unknowingly so.

“Okay, how the fuck do you know my name and who are you because it seems you and Tommy are big buddies here. Just so you know he has a wife.” She says matter of factly and you think you like this kid a lot – you can see why Joel does too.

Tommy clears his throat. “Ellie, this is Doc.” He says and he doesn't even notices the fact he called you your nickname – you see the way Ellie's brows scrunch up in confusion. “She's a long lost…family.”

“What, are you like their sister? If so you for sure received all the pretty genes – though Joel never said anything about ever having a sister.” She's a lot more talkative than you thought she would be and you think it might be because she finally has a place that she can call home and not worry about stranger danger – at least not that much.

You chuckle. “No I am…” you look at Tommy to see if you can say who you are – though you don't know if Joel still thinks of you as his fiánce – after all, it's been 20 years. He just nods. “ I am Joel's fiánce” You can hear her gasp and say “holy shit!?” - most of the people in the canteen turn their heads to throw her a nasty look. Well, that much at being discreet

“You are Joel's dead fiánce? You don't seem that dead to me.” She mutters that last sentence as she starts inspecting your face and scrunches her nose at you. “You smell.” She states matter of factly and Tommy scolds her once again but you just shrug your shoulders at him.

“It's true, Tommy. No harm in being honest.” If Ellie knows about you it meant she must know about Sarah too and it also must mean Joel talked about you to her. That fact makes your heart build a little faster. Maybe…maybe he still cares about you – logically you know he does, he was a very loyal man back in the days too – but still, it makes your cheeks heat up.

“Joel will lose his mind! You have to see him like right now!” she sounds enthusiastic and you are too – seeing Joel after 20 years? You've been dreaming of this moment for so long…Tommy interrupts your little fantasy – clapping his hands he throws a look at Ellie and smiles at you.

“I think it's for the best if you showered first, Doc As Ellie said you don't smell so fresh and maybe a reunion with your husband would be a lot happier if you don't make his whole house stink, eh?” You regularly nod and when Tommy says you can shower at his Ellie says she will come with you – she asks you a lot of questions about yourself – where you grew up, what did you do before Outbreak, where did the nickname Doc come from – she says you are super cool when you answer her you were pediatrician before everything went to shit. She asks how you and Joel met and you answer her truthfully – you've never liked lying. Tommy just walks next to you and listens – you look at him from the corner of your eyes and see he is thinking – he always has this look on his face – his brows are scrunched and his lips are set in a thin line. Joel has that look too when he thinks about something or concentrates – it was your favorite quirk of his.

The walk is quick and you meet Mariah – she's sweet – she offers you clean clothes and when she closes the door behind you so you can take a shower – you exhale loudly. Knowing that Joel is here and that you will see him made your stomach twist in anticipation. Ellie hangs back downstairs with Mariah and Tommy and you can hear their hushed voices – you are pretty sure that they are talking about you. You want to quickly hop in the shower but when you do it's like heaven on earth – the first spray of hot water hits your sore muscles and you feel yourself start to relax. You haven't had a hot shower since the beginning of the outbreak and you missed it so badly. You try to scrub all of the grime and blood from your skin and hair but it seems like mission impossible and you stay in the shower for far longer than the 10 minutes you said. When you step out of the shower you look at yourself in the mirror – at your face and the bags under your eyes, at your body scattered with scars and the thought of Joel not liking what he will see quickly flashes through your mind but you push it away just as quickly as it came – this was a different world. You wrap the fluffy towel around yourself and sigh in bliss. The clothes Mariah gave you fit you and maybe it's that much of your style – but they are clean and smell like they were just pulled fresh out of the washing machine. When you come down quickly the banter stops between the three of them and you can hear Ellie say that “great, you finally don't look like shit”. She grabs you by the arm and leaves the house – dragging you through the streets of Jackson. She walks quickly for someone so small and you try to keep up with her – the new winter coat you wear is flowing behind you with the speed you are walking.

When you arrive at the house Joel and Ellie live you try to catch your breath muttering that you are not as young as you used to be – Ellie just rolls her eyes and steps on the porch which creaks under her footsteps. You like the house – at least from the outside – you imagined something like that when you planned to move with Sarah and Joel after you two marry.

“So, we are here. Take off your boots when you come in – Joel hates cleaning up the snow I leave behind when I come in and walk in boots through the house.” You nod but then she is pushing you in and you throw her a scared look.

“You are not coming with me?” You hiss and she just shakes her head as if it was the stupidest thing she has ever heard.

“No. Enjoy your time together. I don't want to hear you two fucking.” And then she shuts the doors behind you with a force you didn't even know a little kid could possess. Right after she do you hear a gruffed “Ellie I told you to wait for me we talked about -” he stops mid-sentence and you feel like all of the air in your lungs leaves your body when comes into the view, He looks older – but somehow more handsome then you've last seen him. The grey in his hair suits him, and the patches in his beard are now more prominent than they were before. He looks good – more than good. You don't know what to do or say. The two of you just keep staring at each other – he looks you up and down and you see his breath becoming quicker. You're the first one to break the silence.

“Hi, Joel. Long time no see.” You laugh quietly and the tears in your eyes leave your vision blurred. You're the one who moves first too and you hug him tightly – he changed over the years, he's softer and he doesn't smell like he did back in the days – but there's something about his presence that feels entirely like Joel and you grab onto his plaid shirt – squeezing it in your fists. You don't want to pull away – you never want to leave him again but when you feel him not responding to the hug you slowly pull away and look into his eyes. He's scanning your face and now you see tears in his eyes as well. The weight of his calloused hands is more than welcome and you close your eyes when you feel his thumbs slowly stroke your cheeks. The small escapes your throat and you nod when he quietly – oh, so quietly murmurs - “you are alive.”. You stay like that for a while – both of you don't dare to move in case this was all just a dream. You want to hug him again – to feel him against you but when you try to pull him closer to you he unexpectedly quickly pulls you away. You look at him confused and he wipes his tears away – he doesn't know how to act around you. It's been too long. He buried the memories of you and never wanted them to resurface. The knowledge that you are alive and here right in front of him hits him like a fright train. It scares the fucking shit out of him.

He clears his throat and avoids your gaze when he asks you if you want to sit – you agree hastily - you didn't take off your boots like Ellie said and you contemplate for a flash of a second that maybe you should - when you see the change in his stance and attitude. He's trying to distance himself from you and you don't understand why – wasn't he glad you were here?

You look around the living room. It's spacey and you hate that small painting of deer above the fireplace. You quickly scan the bookshelf and figure most of the books are Ellies. When you sit on the worn-off couch you expect that Joel will sit next to you – but he moves across the room and keeps standing. You are confused and you don't understand – you never expected your reunion to go this way. It stays quiet and you break the silence once again – he never was much of a talker anyway- you and Sarah kept the house full of laughter and it was never quiet thanks to both of you – and he never thought he would miss it that much.

“I met Ellie. She actually dragged me here.” You chuckle but he doesn't respond – this was such a bad idea. He tears your heart apart with his stoic stance and silence and doesn't even know it. But he can't bring himself to speak or move – he worries if he does you will disappear.

“Okay, I guess I will go.” He wants to tell you to stay here with him. But alas nothing comes out of his mouth – though when he sees the ring on your neck he gasps and you throw him a questioning look.

“You-you kept it after all these years.” You are confused but when you see where his gaze is trained you look at your engagement ring and smile. “Yeah, I-uh, I've never stopped thinking about you or Sarah you know.” He sharply inhales, he wants to tell you so much. “And every time I look at it I hear her annoyed voice scolding you on how you proposed.” You snort and he grins softly remembering your light laughter and Sarah's huffing on how un-romantic he was.

“Babe just another five minutes, please.” You grumble and feel him smile against your skin – his patchy beard scratching your neck. His hands squeeze your hips and your breath hitches when you feel his tongue flatten against your pulse point. He hums against your skin and nips at your skin – you try to push him away but he just grins wider and hovers above you.

“You know you said that six times now come on, want to take you somewhere nice. Promise I will make it worth it.” He wiggles his eyebrows and you giggle at his antics – he was the one who slept in most of the time – but on days like this – where you feel exhausted from the previous night's session of amazing sex – you feel like you could sleep till afternoon. You slowly kiss the bald spot on his beard and one of your hands sneaks to the band of boxers – he grabs your hand quickly and shakes his head at you.

“Na-ah, won't work on me this time, sweetheart. You can't seduce me.” You just hum and kiss the spot between his shoulder blade and neck – gently scraping your hand through his already tousled hair. His eyes flutter close for a moment and it's now your turn to grin against his skin. You know you won.

“Mmm, I don't know but you left your girlfriend pretty unsatisfied last night.” You try to push the smile off your face when he quickly opens his eyes at your words – you know he never backs down from a challenge.

“Oh?” You hum and finally cup his semi-hard cock in your hand. He grunts and you smile, biting your lip when he slowly puts his fingers inside your panties. “So wet for me already baby, was three orgasms last night not enough for you, mhm?” He asks when he pushes two fingers inside of you and you gasp – arching your back and he squeezes one of your breasts – his now hard cock strains against his boxers.

“How do you know I-oh fuck. Didn't fake it?” you grit out when his fingers brush against the spongy spot inside of you – his thumb drawing circles on your clit leisurely. His eyes darken at your question and he hooks the two of his fingers inside of you – it feels too good and all you can do is just moan in pure bliss.

“Oh, believe me, sweetheart, I know. This sweet pussy grips me like a vice when you cum. Guess I need to remind you.” The other hand that was squeezing your tit now goes higher and he strokes your jaw – you grant his access to your mouth and he growls when you bite on his lower lip and your go to the back of your head when he speeds his hand – his tongue sliding into your mouth and when he pulls away you kiss the underside of his jaw.

“Guess you do.” he mumbles something alongside “such a smart mouth” before his hands grab you around your throat and put small pressure on it – you shudder and he just hums when he feels you close. “Gonna cum for me, won't you?” You just nod and when you finally do cum – you bite his shoulder, your nails scraping across his back. He pulls his fingers out of you and sticks them in your mouth – you hum around them and push him so he is the one laying on his back.

“I have to return the favor.” You throw him a cheeky look and he just mutters an “oh god” when you pull him out of his boxers – the tip already red and sensitive, leaking precum out of it. "Guess I will have my breakfast early."

An hour later Sarah is already up and grins at you. You bid her a good morning – you try to look presentable – you've already brushed your teeth, changed and you smile at her when you see that she made pancakes.

“Sooo, do you like the ring?” she asks and you stop pouring coffee into Joel's mug. He throws Sarah a quick look of “don't say another word, please” but she ignores him. “You know, the one dad proposed with?” your go slack-jawed and look at Joel who quickly scrambles to his feet from the chair and pulls you to him.

“What is she talking about, Joel? You ask and he uncertainly smiles and bends one knee – you see the little black velvet box and when he opens it you gasp – the ring inside of it is beautiful – simple and elegant and tears well up in your eyes.

“Oh my god, dad. You said you would propose before the sunset.” Joel shrugs his shoulders and keeps his gaze trained on you.

“That was the plan but were… preoccupied.” He grins at the last word and Sarah mutters a quick “gross” but starts looking for that old stupid camera to make wvideo of the proposal– hoping you would say yes. She thought of you almost like a mother and when Joel told her he wanted to marry you she squealed in delight.

“So whad’ya say, sweetheart? Will you marry me? Even though I am proposing in our kitchen and with my pajamas on.” You nod and he lets out a breath of relief – when he stands up you kiss him passionately.

“You won't get rid of me now that easily, Texas.” You whisper against his lips as he wipes your tears away.

“And I wouldn't have it any other way.” You couldn't wait for the new chapter of your life with Joel and Sarah by your side

Joel stays quiet for a long time after your confession and he almost misses you leaving – but he registers the door shutting softly. He falls onto the floor – putting his hand on his heart which seems like it will fall out of his chest any moment- his breath is quick and he can't seem to calm himself down. His ears are ringing and he registers the flow of tears after they fall on his cheeks and into his mouth – the salty flavor of them sits heavy in his mouth – and he wishes he could be man enough and run after you. But he doesn't – he stays sitting up on his living room floor the face of you haunting his mind alongside with the old memories

Tommy was right. Your fiánce was not the person you once knew. Joel seems to be avoiding you because you've been in Jackson for a week now and didn't see him at all. Not that you minded after seeing his enthusiasm – or rather lack of – at seeing you. You try to not think about it that much and throughout the day you occupy yourself – at night you cry a lot – Mariah always comes to your room and shushes you to sleep or if you are talkative that night she lets you talk. It's like having a girls' night but more…depressing. The people in Jackson are nice and you try to help everywhere you can. Whether it be with kids or at the canteen. Helping with sheep or horses – you often go and visit Buckley – he soothes your ongoing nerves. Joel will have to come out of hiding one day. And you are not ready for that. On the other side Ellie seems to hang with you a lot – the day after your meeting with Joel she almost tackled you to the ground when she forcefully asked what did you do to Joel – you have to give it to her, that girl got spirit and an undying loyal heart like the man she is living with. After trying to explain it to her –it was very hard because she thinks Joel can do no wrong really – and you are not saying he did, she gave in pretty easily and started hanging out with you.

You are staying at Tommy for a while – at least before you decide if you will leave which is very unlikely or they will try to find you another accommodation. She comes there every afternoon and brings her science books – you found an anatomical book in the library one day and kept it with you – and you try and teach her the various Latin words or show her where is what on her body – three days ago you two drew a life-sized human and marked bones on it and such. You've met other people too and learned that the shy cowboy's name was Henry – he asked you out and you admired him for his braveness but you told him you are probably closer to his mother's age than to be his girlfriend.

Tommy went and tried talking to Joel too but you both know how stubborn he can be and when you asked him how did it go he just shook his head low and offered you a sad smile. Today you wanted to help an old lady, Mrs.Grempinks - or something like that – with knitting. Her hands were shaking the past few days and she felt sad – you offered her help and she accepted – she doesn't need to know you do not know how to knit at all. At least it will maybe make her feel better that she is not the only one in the room with poor knitting skills. On the way to her, you come across Ellie and she lets out a relieved sigh when she spots you.

“Here you are I've been looking everywhere for you.” she empathizes the word everywhere and starts dragging you with her – where you aren't sure.

“Hey, Ellie. Slow down. Ellie!” you shriek when you figure out where exactly she is dragging you – to her – Joel's- house and you burrow your heels into the snow-covered ground.

“Joel isn't home and I want to show you something really cool – I've been working on it for the past couple of days after you borrowed me your anatomy book.” You want to protest and you turn around in the direction of Mrs. Grempkin's house but you don't have the heart to tell Ellie that you don't have time and Joel is not home and you would leave soon enough anyways – she will just show you her little project and then it's gonna be as if you never even put your foot in the house again. When she pulls you inside she again quickly closes the door behind you and dread overcomes you – oh no she didn't – she shows you the two keys in her hand and you know the other one is Joels. She locked you out.

“I am sorry but both of you are miserable and you have to talk it out!” There is nothing to talk about with Joel – he doesn't need your presence near him, it's been clear and you mouth a quiet “please, Ellie, don't do this” while you jumble with the handle. It's no use and you sigh thumping your forehead against the door. You quietly take your boots off this time and start looking around the house – looking for Joel to tell him what just happened.

You find him in his workshop – it's nice and you stay in the doorway while looking around. You see the various little wooden figures and you find it cute that he found something he can get lost in. The various guitars on the wall peak your interest – you've always loved when he played and his back is still turned on you while he focuses on his woodwork – you enter the room slowly and when you touch one of his guitars a low “hi” echoes throughout the room. His back is turned still but his hands stopped moving and he is sitting still.

“Didn't know you could hear me.” You say and he chuckles lowly.

“I'd be dead by now if I didn't hear someone sneaking up on me.” He says and you hum acknowledgment – when he finally turns to look at you your breath hitched because he is so effortlessly handsome it hurts. You cross your arms around your chest.

“I wasn't sneaking up on you.”

“Sure you weren't.” He throws you a grin and it's different than the last time you talked – or didn't really – to him. He is more relaxed and he actually looks like he doesn't mind seeing you in his house. It's quiet for a while but not that uncomfortable silence that suffocates. You look at one another and you take him all in – his aquiline nose and his full lower lip, his brown eyes and you look at the dip of his neck – licking your lips. It's suddenly too hot in here with the way his gaze burns into you.

“I am sorry.” He offers and you don't understand what for – or you do – you just want him to expand that sentence because you felt like a fool the last time you were here. “I am sorry for the way I reacted but I never thought I'd see you again and when you just appeared in my house I was overwhelmed with emotions I didn't know I could still feel. After Sarah died I-” He chokes and you are in front of him in a blink of a second – cupping his cheeks and he closes his eyes bathing in your gentle touch which he doesn't deserve - or at least he thinks so

“You don't have to tell me anything. Tommy told me and I-I am sorry what happened to Sarah. And everything you've been through, Joel.” You say and he opens his eyes and shakes his head – none of what happened was your fault and you shouldn't be sorry. He was glad you weren't with him when all of it went to shit because you'd probably be here by now. It's easy to be this intimate with him and you bask in the way he lets you touch – you expect him to pull away like last time – but he doesn't. Instead, he brings his lips closer to yours and searches for your gaze which drops when he licks his lower lip.

“I want to kiss you, sweetheart,” he murmurs and your lips are almost – almost touching when he says so. His forehead is pressed up against yours and your hands that were previously holding his face now move behind his neck – your nails scratch the spot behind his ear gently and he closes his eyes – whether in pure bliss or to hold himself back you don't know – though if its the latter you don't want that. “Need to kiss you,” he adds. You just nod your head in agreement – you wanted nothing more than to kiss him the last time you saw him.

“What are you waiting on then, Texas?” You tease and you feel him smile into the kiss – it's just a gentle press of lips – as if he was testing the waters. One of his hands grabs your hip – squeezing it – and the other moves behind your head and pushes you closer – he needs you closer. The wet press of his lips is more urgent now and his tongue licks your lower lip. You grant him access into your mouth and then the kiss becomes more urgent, more passionate, more desperate – Joel was always a good kisser and you always enjoyed just making out with him late at night to some bad movie that was on the TV. The hand on your hip moves lower and he cups your ass – you moan into his mouth and he hums, the other hand now stroking the hinge of your jaw. Your hands scratch his scalp and he almost but purrs – pulling away from you he plants butterfly kisses across your face.

“Bedroom?” The question seems silly – you need him and if you'd be any younger you'd jump his bones right here on the floor. But you are not so you nod and he pecks your lips quickly before he grabs your hand – squeezing your fingers in his – and leads you to his bedroom. When you enter it he closes the door more forcefully than needed and before you have time to look around he is pushing you onto the bed – your back hits the mattress and he grins – he hasn't seen this sight in over 20 years and he is enjoying every second of it. You sit up and pull him by the collar of his shirt. He is quick with it – his mouth on yours again and his hands start exploring your body – they go from your thighs up to your tummy and then higher – he squeezes your tits – you moan and his hands move higher cupping your cheeks tenderly. He pulls away and moves your hair out of your face.

“Need you so badly.” He pants – and you feel just the same. You feel him start undressing you but you want to make this last as long as possible. You push him away and he seems confused before you are pushing him on his back – your sit on his lap and you feel how hard he is under his jeans – you test the waters and grind down on him – your hands on his chest and he really wants to keep his eyes open but the feel of you on him makes him feel like he's fuckin teenager again that will bust his load into his pants any second. “Fuck, gonna make me cum before the real fun even begins and I am not young as I used to be. If that happens I will have to eat you out at least three times.” You grin and bend down to kiss his neck – your tongue leaving hot trails in its wake. He sits up with you and his hands fly to your lower back to support you. He surges forward – his tongue exploring your mouth, mapping your teeth with it and when you feel his hands trying to take your shirt off – you tug him by the hair roughly – his hips bucking up to meet yours as he moans your name brokenly.

“Slow down, baby. Want to appreciate you.” You push his chest so he will be laying again – he wants to protest but you put one of your fingers to his lips. The look he gives you is downright sinful before he is sucking it into his mouth – his teeth nipping it and you can't look away from his advances. His tongue peaks out and you feel the way he swirls it around your digit just like used to when he ate you out. You moan brokenly and put another one there and he bites into them softly. The small butterfly kisses you leave on his scar from his suicide attempt makes him drop your fingers from his mouth as he groans loudly – he feels so fucking appreciated and loved at this moment that it makes his head dizzy. “Need to see you, baby. Sit up.” He does and you unbutton his shirt slowly one by one while he kisses your jaw and your neck – sucking at it once in a while his tongue flattens out against your pulse point where he leaves a mark.

“Fuck, want you to take your shirt off too.” You don't have time to comply before he is pulling it over your head and you are not wearing any bra – the one Mariah gave you did not fit you – and he immediately reaches for them. He pinches one of your nipples while he sucks on your other one and you throw your head back – it always felt this good with him. Sex with him was easy and he was a generous lover. The only man that had ever made you cum. When pulls away he frowns when he sees the deep red scar close to your heart.

“Someone stabbed me but as you can see I am alive and well. Don't worry about it, We all have our own scars.” Your thumb slides across the one next to his temple and he nods – he is angry at himself though. Maybe if he was with you it wouldn't happen. Maybe if he'd try to look for you harder. Maybe…”Hey, Joel. You still with me?” You stroke his bicep and he nods before you peck him gently. “Strip out of these, will you? Want to suck your dick.” You pat his jeans-clad thigh and his jaw rocks forward. You sit on the bed and he makes quick work of his jeans and his boxer – his cock is bobbing with need and you open your mouth awaiting.

The first lick sends him into overdrive and he grips your hair and tries telling you to take him deeper – just a little bit deeper. You drool and the spit starts to cover his balls – it's messy and the sounds he makes sound like straight up from porn. His head is thrown back and he gets lost in the feel of you – your mouth – and he can't believe you are here with him. He feels his balls pull up tighter and he pulls it out quickly before he is bending down to kiss you – he doesn't register the surprised sound you make when he pushes his tongue almost all the way back down your throat.

You taste like him because you are his, his, his and the growing need he has for you makes him almost rip your new pants before he is working his fingers inside of you – the familiar wetness and tightness make him feel like he is 30 again – and you cry out. He drills into you and snarls when your nails dig into his forearm, his nose bumps against yours and he wants to kiss you but he concentrates on making you cum because he wants to be inside of you. To mark you as his. His to kiss and hiss to make you cum and his to love and his, his, his. He searches for that spot and his other hand sneaks onto your inner thigh – when he finds it – he can hear it from the high-pitched moan that you let out. He smacks you onto your inner thigh and you jump forward and try to get away from him. It's too much – his fingers, his groans and talks and his tongue that find its way into your mouth. He's too much and he can feel you are almost there – almost. He grabs your throat and his eyes watch your Adam's apple bob – his thumb putting slight pressure on it. The squelching sounds of your pussy make him double his efforts and he can feel you getting closer and closer with every pass of his fingers through your walls – your pleas echoing through the room. He knows you need more and he grins menacingly when he sees how your pussy glistens with your juices and soak his hand.

“Fuck, sweetheart look at you. Soaking me. You want to cum?” He knows you do and he is downright cruel when he slows down and you sob because you want to cum – you nod and he is not happy with that – swatting you against your inner thigh once again before repeating that question.

“Yes, yes, Joel! I want to cum, please make me cum!” You feel on a verge of tears and he kisses you softly before he continues his previous efforts – his thumb now circling your clit and it's the additional stimulation you needed. He curses when he feels you squeeing him and he works you through it – your vision goes white and all you can think about is Joel and how good he is – before you come back down and he is still working his way inside of you and suddenly its too much – you try to push him away but the hand on your thigh just grips you harder – the blunt nails of his digging into your thigh.

“Please, Joel, Too much, it's too much!” You cry out but it's like he can't hear you and he bites your lower lip, his fingers never stopping and you can feel him pulling another orgasm out of you – you can feel him grin against your mouth and murmuring “that's it, such a good girl for me, sweetheart” before you are cuming again. Your legs shake and the moans you let out die down when he puts his coated fingers of your cum in your mouth. Your eyes roll to the back of your head – he is kissing you and then telling you to “share with him” and it's so fucking nasty – a string of saliva connecting you both before he is wiping his mouth. You are sedated and when he reaches for something in his bedside table you don't really care. The sound of foil tearing makes you open your eyes and you see how he pulls the condom on his dick before he is crawling to you.

“Come on, sweetheart. You gonna ride me.” He says and you don't feel like you have that much of a choice – he is pulling you on top of him and before you know it he notches the head of his dick between your folds. You grab the base of him and slowly sink down on him – you forgot how fucking thick and big he was and you need a moment before you start moving. Your muscles are sore and your throat is dried up from all the moaning and screaming but when you look down to see Joel's blissed-out expression – you start to move slowly. He lets you ride him at your own pace – you are the one in control now and he's here only for the right. He strokes his thumbs o your sides and then opens his eyes he feels like he will come right there and then. Your tits bounce with every pass of his cock against your walls and the way your head is thrown back and your throat on full display – his fingers twitch as he has the urge to bring you by your throat and kiss you.

The leisurely pace only lasts for a while before you can feel another orgasm build inside of you – the hair on the base of his cock scratch your clit deliciously. You dig your nails into his shoulders – one of your hands grabbing his jaw when you kiss him – he lets you and his hands move from your hips to your ass – squeezing the flash in his palms. You moan when you feel one of his hands sneak toward your clit but you push him away – breaking from the kiss.

“I am the one that is now in control, Texas.” The smirk you give him makes his cock twitch and he nods – his Adam's apple bobbing when he gulps and you til his chin up as you sink your teeth gently into it. He holds onto you tighter – your pace unfaltering and he wants to cum – needs to – but not before you. His heels dig into the mattress and you pull back to stop moving as your hips start to sway in a figure of eight. It does nothing for him and he whines – whines – in protest. You tell him to “shut up” because you are so so fucking close and that's when he grits his teeth together – his patience runs thin. His hands grab the chain with his ring on it – the only thing you are wearing – and he pulls you towards him by it. The look you throw him is absolutely wrecked and when you are close to his mouth – you need to kiss him, want to taste him – he pulls his head away from you to put the ring between his teeth. That alone almost makes you cum and you can't look away from him – even when he grabs you by the flash of your ass – and start sinking you down on him. You are completely mesmerized by the ring in his mouth and before you know it you are cuming – he slaps your ass when you do and you jolt forward – the ring falling from his mouth when he tangles his tongue with yours.

He fucks you through it and he sits up – his heels planting into the mattress so he can chase his own orgasm – he puts the ring into your mouth now and if he could he would take a picture of you like this – his ring between your teeth while he fucks you silly and your gorgeous body putty in his hands. His balls slap against the meat of your thighs and he puts his forehead on your chest – you can feel the small droplets of his sweat roll down his forehead. He pants and you know he is close – his pace now frantic as he kisses your chest. His lips make their way to your throat and every pass of his cock makes your walls twitch. You feel every vein of his and the head of him pushes against your g-spot. You start meeting his thrusts – pulling him closer to your neck as the only thing he can now do is groan and whine. He can feel your quick pulse and the way your fingers tangle in his locks as you tug him by it – you are overstimulated but he doesn't want this to stop. Never wants this to stop.

“Come on, baby. Want you to cum in me,” You whine and he shakes his head – he doesn’t want to, he doesn't, he doesn't…and then he is cumming as he empties his seed into the condom. He thrusts up at you a few times as he pushes himself through the afer shocks – you can feel him twitch in you before his body goes limp and you fall on him. He strokes your shoulder blades and you listen to his slowing heartbeat – your fingers drawing little hearts on his chest. He slowly pulls out of you and grips the condom by the base of it to tie it off and he throws it into the trash can next to his bed. He pulls you closer to him and you hum – slowly drifting off to sleep exhausted and worn out.

“Love you, Joel.” You say against his neck when you kiss him there and his heart swells up at your confession. He unclasps the chain from your neck and pulls the ring on your finger as he admires it.

“Love you too, baby.” You almost don't hear him when he whispers it against your lips – but you don't need him to say it – after all Joel is a man of actions and not words. And you are perfectly fine with that.

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ughgoaway · 10 months

Text

I need you like a heartbeat

content warnings: mentions of sex... that's kinda it the rest is just very soppy lovey-dovey stuff!! word count- 1.9k

a/n: hi!! so I kinda lied about doing under 1000 words but once I got going I couldn't stop lol. I did write this quick so if it's really bad don't tell me (please do I cannot cope not knowing). This was inspired by this request for some fluffy aftercare, thanks for the request!! this is my first time writing fluff so be gentle with me... I'm not good at being in love (haven't done it irl yet) so we'll see how it goes. also would just like to reiterate I am English but I did use braid instead of plait because I have beef with the spelling of plait, I think it's stupid so refuse to type it. also, I was gonna include a full skincare scene but alas I don't do any so had no idea what to write... anyway here you go!!

Thump. Thump. Thump. All you can hear is your heartbeat in your head, the repetitive rhythm being the only thing keeping you grounded. Without it, you fear you would just float away. You fear your weightlessness would simply cause you to disappear from the earth as you know it.

Soon a pair of hands come up to wipe your tear-stained face, you instinctively lean into the touch despite not quite remembering who it is. “Baby? Darling, you with me?”

Matty.

The calloused hands delicately wiping your face belong to your boyfriend and his touch makes the fog in your mind begin to lift. As it always does when you're around him. 2 years in and still you've never met someone you feel so clear around. That may seem unusual to some people, they all say “isn't the love of your life meant to make you a bit hazy? Make your head swirl and your mind go blank?” But no, not to you. You've never felt anything but clear around him, just so completely yourself it almost hurts. There was never any fogginess in your mind, there was nothing but a clear choice. Him. It was as if there was a spotlight on him wherever you were, he was in plain sight. The first thing you saw no matter what.

Slowly your eyes blink open and you're met with the sight of your very naked boyfriend hovering over you giving you a warm smile, “there's my sweet girl” he says staring adoringly at you. The smile was quickly mirrored by you followed by a small giggle. Despite having seen him naked 1000 times, suddenly this time was very funny.

“What are you giggling at, hmm?” Matty says, despite lightly giggling himself, he always found your laughter so contagious. Your joy always lit up every room you were in. The pure happiness that surrounded you was so contagious it couldn't help but rub off on him. So for the first time in his 34 years of life, Matty would describe himself as giddy, not just from your giddiness infecting him but from just you in general. The love he felt for you made him feel 15 again like he was crushing on a girl way out of his league. Becoming slowly obsessed with seeing her around school. But with you, that feeling never went away, that slight obsession was ever permanent. And he loved it. He was nothing but absolutely, unbelievably obsessed with you. And he told you as such, over and over again.

“You’re naked” you manage to splutter out in your fit of giggles, Matty felt his heart flutter at the sight of you. Naked also, tears of dark mascara staining your cheeks and dozens of hickeys and bites blooming on your body but also giggling with no care in the world.

“Hate to be the one to tell you this sweetheart, but you're naked too. Don't tell me you forgot about my amazing lovemaking skills so quickly” Matty says, acting offended at your forgetfulness.

“One,” you begin, acting mock serious at the man on top of you “Never call it lovemaking again or it will start happening substantially less” Matty laughs at you and begins pressing small kisses over the expanse of your face. “Two” you try and list off your second point but soon get lost in another fit of giggles at the myriad of kisses being littered over your face.

“I'll never get my second point out if you keep kissing me” you manage to stutter out, trying to speak but being accosted with pecks.

“Fine, fine, sorry baby- go on,” Matty says leaning back slightly and looking back at you fondly, loving how you can go from moaning his name and crying from pleasure to giggling at your naked boyfriend.

“Thank you,” you fake clear your throat to assure your boyfriend this was a serious matter, “Two- I could never forget, I just suddenly found it funny you were naked.” You finish your statement and look up at your boyfriend.

His hair was sweaty and sticking up in 50 directions, a pink flush decorated his cheeks and his pupils were blown so wide if you didn't know better, you'd think he had black iris’. He’d never looked more beautiful to you. Well, aside from the 50 other times you had assured yourself he never looked more beautiful.

You attempt to sit up to return the onslaught of kisses but you hiss as you're soon reminded of what you were just doing. Everything hurts, in the best way, of course, your arms feel like jelly and you can faintly feel his cum leaking out of you.

As quickly as you try to sit up you are ushered back down by Matty, “No, no don't get up sweetheart. I’m going to go get a warm cloth from the bathroom and clean you up a little yeah?”

You nod lightly, closing your eyes and resting on the silk pillowcases behind you. You are almost lulled back to sleep at the noises of your boyfriend moving around the room but a hiss soon left your mouth as Matty begins wiping you delicately.

The various marks on your thigh burn as Matty wipes your wetness off them, he apologises over and over. Only getting more insistent as he begins to wipe at your core. He starts at the top, lightly patting your clit and hushing your whimpers, hating he was hurting you.

But soon the feeling of him cleaning stopped, you looked down only to catch your boyfriend staring longingly at the sight of his cum leaving you. For the third time tonight, giggles leave you as you stare at the blank expression on his face

“Oops sorry darling, got a bit distracted there but I'm back to business now I swear” Matty assures you before cautiously swiping at your hole and cleaning up the mess he made. The cloth was tossed aside as Matty worked his way back up your body to your face, smiling at your blissed-out look.

“You feel well enough to walk yet baby? We really need to get that makeup off and do your skincare. You’d kill me if I let you go one night without rubbing some oil or serum on your face.”

You smile and nod at your boyfriend, preparing to walk only to be scooped up in his arms and carried into the bathroom. The cold tile of the vanity soon hit your bum causing another hiss to leave your bitten lips, red and puffy from the nights events.

“What was the point in being able to walk if you were just gonna carry me huh handsome?” you say staring at your boyfriend while he grabs the makeup wipes and begins wiping your tear-stained cheeks.

“Always gotta give you the princess treatment baby, just wanted to make sure if you had to walk you could. But I would never make my girl walk all the way to the bathroom! What kinda boyfriend would I be huh” he says jokingly. He's so intensely focused on finding your numerous skincare products he doesn't notice the massive smile that takes over your face.

Matty has about 20 bottles in his hands, each one causing the confused frown on his face to grow. You stifle your laugh at his clear confusion and grab the various products from him and place them by the sink next to you.

“Don't worry about all that tonight baby, just some moisturiser I think. I'm too knackered for much else” You notice Matty let out a relieved breath at your shortened routine, not quite sure what he would do if you wanted to do the full thing.

He grabs the small tub nestled between the mess of products on the counter and begins rubbing it in small circles on your cheeks and forehead. You almost catch your eyes closing at the feeling of him massaging your face but force yourself to keep them open to look longingly at your boyfriend's very focused face, tongue out and all.

“You wanna have a bath darling or should I just braid your hair and we call it a night?” Matty says, still rubbing your face despite all the moisturiser being applied. He just loved touching you, anyway he could. Not necessarily sexually, as much as he enjoyed that. But just loving small touches, a kiss on the cheek when he walked past, a hand on the small of your back when you stood together, even just your pinky fingers linked together as you spoke around a dinner table. Little affectionate touches kept Matty going and he wasn't about to pass up an opportunity to touch your very pretty face.

“Just some braids would be amazing, thank you my love” You smile at your doting boyfriend as he nods and grabs the hairbrush, slowly bruising out the multitude of knots caused by him, he's sure.

His nimble fingers pass your hair between them, slowly braiding your now neatly brushed hair. Matty grabs a hair tie and secures both of your braids at the end. Finishing with a flourish and a kiss on your nose that made your face scrunch up in that adorable way he loved.

Silently Matty picks you up again, smiling at the roll of your eyes and a bashful grin that you give him whilst in his arms. He places you on the edge of your bed before going to the chest of drawers behind him to fetch you both some clothes.

You hold in your giggles at your boyfriend's bare bum, assuming he wouldn't love another fit of laughter at his nakedness.

He soon returns with 2 pairs of black calvins and your favourite one of his shirts, the peach Panasonic shirt he once wore all the time. But mysteriously he stopped, about 2 years ago.

The first night you'd slept together Matty lent you that shirt, he remembers watching you sleep so soundly that morning in the shirt he adored. He vowed there and then to never wear it again, not wanting to sully it with any other memory than the memory of you.

He slipped the shirt over your shoulders and the calvins up your legs, giving your bum a cheeky pat when you lifted your hips to get them on. He followed you up the mattress and settled on the pillows, facing you and staring fondly into your eyes.

Each time your eyes met you treated it like a staring contest, never wanting to be the first to look away. The pure adoration in the other's eyes always kept you looking, staring, not ever wanting to leave that moment.

Matty broke first this time, a small celebration happened in your mind as he pulled the duvet over the two of you. He swung his arm over your shoulder as you settled on his chest. He leant down to give you a gentle kiss on the crown of your head with a large smile on his face.

“I love you, sweetheart,” he said, a smile evident in his voice.

Yours was slightly muffled by your head pressed into his chest but you returned his comment, “I love you too baby, thank you for making me feel good”

“Always” is the last thing Matty said, or the last thing you remember hearing before sleep took over you in the arms of the man you were sure was your soulmate.

#matty healy #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy x reader #matty healy fluff #matty healy fic #request!!#omg my first request... love that #i wrote this in like an hour i apologise if its shit

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muffinsin · 5 months

Note

I like that hurt/comfort 👀 anon, but how about there being hurt with no comfort; the sisters s/o ends up dying in that Lycan attack, what would the sisters do/feel?

-rambunctious Anon

Very interesting ask!👀 (also I believe I’ve got another request of yours- a bit older by now- regarding dom Cassandra breeding somewhere in my drafts XD).

(Comfort/ alive s/o vers. HERE)

Masterlist 1

Masterlist 2

Let’s get into it! ;)

Bela

When she rushes towards the main hall and finds your body limp on the floor, her golden eyes widen immediately

It takes her no time to clear the area of the lycans, and immediately she swarms to you

Holding your limp body in her arms, she checks for a heartbeat, a pulse, yet finds none

She can’t believe it

She feels nothing at all. She can’t cope with it. She won’t even look at you. She can’t.

Golden eyes turn almost hazy when she drops you to the floor and keeps hunting

When her sisters dare approach her about this once the castle is cleared, having found your body, she ignores them

She can’t cope with it. She won’t

She’s stuck in an antagonizing feeling of numbness

She should’ve been there. Should’ve been faster. Should’ve saved you

She knows well what happened, but can’t allow herself to think about it or feel it just yet

This goes on for days, until her bubble bursts. She misses you. She can’t pretend it didn’t happen anymore, either, like you didn’t exist. No matter how hard she tries

She finds your grave, a custom one just for you, at night

Bela cries. She can’t stop now that she feels it

She cries and cries, feels anger and pain, sadness and hurt

When morning comes, she is still sobbing on her knees

She regrets not holding you close. She regrets not being there when you’re buried. She regrets not being good enough to save you

She won’t ever forgive herself for this

Foolishly, she believes she can fix this

The cadou has helped her, and so it will help you!

She’s eager, digging through dirt with bare hands and resisting the urge to gag as she pulls you from your grave

Cassandra is made to infect you along with the usual maidens. She does this, for her sister

Unsurprisingly, it has no effect. The cadou cannot revive, Bela should know this

She demands Cassandra to retry

She demands Mother to give her an explanation

At last, all she can do is cry yet again

She feels alone, lost, helpless without you. A part of her wishes she had never fallen in love with you. She misses you so much

Despite not reaching out for help, the only time she feels stable is when her mother is with her. She becomes exceptionally clingy,

Bela also overworks herself. She tries to keep busy, yet at night she cries herself into exhaustion

At last, she is moved into her mother’s chambers. She can only rest with protective arms wrapped around her, assuring her it was not her fault

Bela also adapts something of a quite severe separation anxiety towards her family members

What if she loses them too?

She feels sick without any of them near

Daniela enjoys the company as she reads, even strokes Bela’s hair upon noticing her distress whenever she comes to find her. The blonde always takes a few minutes to assure herself Daniela is alright, checking her youngest sister for wounds and such. Daniela lets her

Cassandra teaches Bela how she rules things in the dungeon. She shows to be more mature, as if pushed into the role of the responsible one for the time being

Bela is thankful for this, silently. She couldn’t take handling her sisters on top of everything

Cassandra doesn’t mind the constant check ups, although at times throws her sister out of her room when she just wants time to herself and Bela keeps checking on her

Although she is unhappy about being checked for injuries over and over again as if she couldn’t take care of herself, she allows her older sister to do so. She knows it brings Bela comfort

Alcina takes to working with Bela dozed off in a corner of her room, or rested against her thigh. She occasionally pats her hair and praises her for retrieving papers for her. Bela won’t admit it out loud, although it’s not needed: her mother knows in this time her eldest craves company and safety

Still, she likes to push herself. She trains harder than ever. She prays you see her. She wants to show you she is strong. That you can come back to her and she will not fail to save you again

Cassandra

Cassandra is rendered speechless when she hears you’ve passed

She thought she did everything right

She saved you. She tended to your wounds as best as she could to stop the bleeding

All you needed to do was hang on a little longer

She was going to save you. It was going to be okay!!

By the time she finally makes it to medical equipment, she can’t find a pulse any longer

She presses her head to your unmoving chest, eyes wide and desperate

She doesn’t say a word when she can’t find one

She can’t move for several minutes

She has no idea how to cope with this- you’re gone? It can’t be!

Sadness doesn’t hit her at first- anger does. An emotion she is well accustomed to

She screams, loud and raw everybody in the castle hears it and shakes from it

She screams, and angry tears stream down her bloody cheeks. She feels them at the corner of her lips, tastes their salty taste in her mouth

Nails dig into your lifeless body as she screams at you to wake up. She’s desperate to hear your voice

You won’t awaken, and you won’t talk

The room is trashed soon enough, furniture cut and thrown, sheets and curtains sliced. Garments and fabrics on the floor, vases broken

Any maiden unlucky enough to enter is sliced to bits, even her sisters are not safe from the middle daughters rage

Bela gets away with a cut across her right eyebrow, Daniela with a sliced open left arm when they attempt to calm their sister down

However, there is no calming Cassandra. She is loose now and cannot catch herself

She’s always been in the eye of the hurricane as long as she’s had you. Your absence has her feel the bitingly cold air swirling around her, lifting and dragging her away

After hours and hours, anger subsides. Sadness fills her. Dread

She cries against your chest. She begs you to awaken. You don’t shift

Depression and regret hits her hard

She should have been faster. Why hasn’t she found you faster?!

Why was she not strong enough to save you?! What did it help her to be the fiercest huntress if she could not slay the intruding lycans before they sunk their filthy claws in you?!

Cassandra, in her anger and frustration, doesn’t realise how hard she digs her own nails in her arm. Blood spills and wets the dark sleeve of her dress

It’s grounding, the pain, and soon she finds herself desperately clawing at herself to calm down, creating wounds all over that sting with every move

She considers opening a window just to feel and focus on something but the pain and your scent

Finding her in this state prompts her mother to attempt to drag her from you

Cassandra refuses; fights to stay at your side. Alcina does not fault her when she feels sharp claws dug into her side. Instead, the mother of three sets her down and tends to her self-inflicted wounds silently

Cassandra will not abandon you again. Had she only been with you when the lycans attacked…

This goes on for many days. She will not leave your side, even to feast or hunt. Her frame grows thinner, her body weaker. Her dress no longer clings to her, but hangs loosely at her shoulders

She doesn’t sleep, and merely eats when her sisters and mother bring her a meal. The blood makes her feel sick. All she can smell is yours. She is familiar with the taste of her vomit when she drinks blood and she can’t help but imagine it’s yours

At last after days and when your body turns black and smells, she departs from your side, coming to her senses

She allows a tombstone, but doesnt have the strength to stay at your funeral

Instead, she watches from her window, dressed in your favorite clothing, holding the pillow your head should have rested on each night

She opts for spending a lot of nights in her sisters’s rooms. She can’t deal with the memory of you, not yet

Daniela

She couldn’t save you?

Daniela blinks. What silly words spurred from her mother’s lips?

She crosses to your lifeless body. Attempts to shake you awake. It’s futile

Daniela twitches for a moment. She’s completely silent as she studies you

You’re dead. No. Yes. No.

She can’t deal with this. She won’t. She can’t

She handles it the only way she can, delusions convincing her it was all okay. She would break, if it wasn’t for them

“Wake up, sleepyhead!”

She giggles as she shakes you, grabbing you and dragging you from the bed you rest on

She doesn’t mind how sleepy you are, she will be sure to cuddle you a lot!

Alcina forbids her other daughters from saying a thing, at first

This grows increasingly more difficult when Daniela’s delusions grow. She takes you with her wherever she goes. Breakfast, the library, lunch, baths, on hunts.

She is inseparable from you even as you begin to rot. Daniela doesn’t mind. She still loves you

Her family grows concerned for her

You sleep in her bed every day, her head rested on your unmoving chest. She always drags your heavy arm around her. You’re just cuddling her, as you always have!

She reads to you, and laughs with you. Laughs at the jokes you “tell”

When Bela attempts to gently push her, she nearly flips

You’re alive! The lycans didn’t get you!, she insists crying

Daniela changes you and scolds you sometimes as your body begins to reek. She still is close to you. She won’t let anybody take you from her

For a while, her delusions keep her from breaking. Days pass, weeks. A month

Daniela’s scream is heard throughout the castle. Two pairs of arms wrap around her as she hyperventilates, golden eyes watering at your decomposing skin

She shakes and cries for hours. Why can’t she help you?!

At this, she can’t help herself no matter how hard she attempts to keep the delusion up

Memories of you and your death flood her mind. Daniela cries and screams, her throat sore and cheeks completely soaked in her own, sweaty tears as she is held tightly by her sisters. They had dreaded the day their precious younger sister woke up from her dream

It takes another week for Daniela to come to terms with what happened, to accept the realness of it

Within this week, it’s up to her family to keep her alive. She can’t eat or drink, bathe or even sleep lest she passes out from her own exhaustion

When she does sleep, night terrors plague her mind. Your body, mangled, broken. You have been taken from her

The smell of your rotting corpse makes her sick

She is never alone, always surrounded by a sister or her mother. Daniela has taken to being extremely clingy with her after a short time of blaming her for not saving you in time

When a funeral is held, Daniela can’t speak. She cries, and must be dragged inside as the temperature drops. She refuses to move from her window

Her sisters surround her at all times

#cassandra dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #bela dimitrescu #rambunctious anon #resident evil village

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mlmxreader · 6 months

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Can't Let You Go | David Hesh Walker x gn!reader

『••✎••』

↳ ❝ Pssst.... what if, hear me out here... I know "I think he's come back for his noon feeding" is from Jaws but!!! It's Y/N feeding people to their beloved that got turned into a zombie because they just CANNOT let go. Beloved in question is Hesh.

Optional but would be very funny if Logan helped capture victims because "It's not too different from hunting deer." and he also can't let Hesh go. The brother in law helps out.

Also optional, but would be interesting if Hesh could somewhat remember things even un-dead. Like Y/N tells him "I love you." and he'll sign it back because muscle memory or some shit. Establish a bit of motive for the whole "Letting my dead boyfriend murder and eat you." thing. - @tokillamockingbird427 ❞

: ̗̀➛ You're the only to blame for what happens to him, yet even still, between you and Logan, nobody can be quite sure who is less willing to part ways with him even though they know they should.

: ̗̀➛ swearing, smoking, graphic depictions of corpses, fatal injuries described in detail, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, murder, gun violence

•───────────────★•♛•★──────────────•

You blamed yourself for it, more than anything, knowing that the others had done everything that they could whilst you were over with a different task force doing some training; it was your fault that he had gotten that way. Your fault that he turned into a monster.

You should have known that the people they were after would have used the gas; infecting Hesh when he was alone in the control room.

You should have protected him, and look what you had done; he was far from the Hesh you had fallen in love with.

His beautiful, smooth skin was now covered in dried blood, the white cloth he had tried to use to protect himself was melted into his skin and had torn open to expose his fleshless jaw. Hanging on by tendons, dribbles of blood staining the once white fabric.

His skin was grey, pale and thick like a dying scab. Claw marks on his head where he had tried to fight the infection. His right eye was completely gone, melted from his skull and exposing the deep and empty socket; you could see right through to the back of his skull.

Bits of bubbled flesh stuck to his lower eyelid. A hole in the side of his neck where he had tried to kill himself in desperation, blistered flesh around the entry point. His hands were cracked and blistered, skin hanging off in thick scabs constantly, all up to his shoulders.

He could hardly speak, the words sounding more like an imitation of human speech; he sounded human in voice, but the words were just wrong. You had done this. It had all been your fault.

You and Logan knew you couldn’t let him go out on his own, knew that he couldn’t be given up to the US military; you also both knew that you needed Hesh, you needed him around. A life without Hesh… you didn’t want to imagine it, and neither did Logan.

Logan had never been without his big brother, and you had been Hesh’s significant other for so long that you just couldn’t stomach the thought of being without him anymore.

Together, you and Logan took Hesh to a cabin in the woods that you had been left in an inheritance; you put up six foot tall fences made of thick wood with a doggy door that only opened if Riley’s microchip was scanned, and ensured that the rest of the property was littered with barbed wire and traps to make absolutely sure that no one would ever find Hesh.

No cellular phones. No internet. No computers. Never anything that could ever be tracked to the location, not even burner phones.

Nobody else was ever allowed to know; Logan told Elias and Keegan that he was going to see some friends for a while whenever he came to visit Hesh, and you had no one to talk to anyway so you didn’t really need to worry about anyone finding out.

You moved into the cabin, Logan could only ever visit when he could manage to get away. It worked well enough, though, nobody in, nobody out except you and Logan.

If he ever felt like he was being followed, he would immediately drive past the cabin and head down to the local hotel; sign in under his own name, and remain there until it was time for him to go back to Elias’s house.

Never risk anything.

You were both adamant about that.

But every day, even though it always came back the same, you would always check Hesh’s state over and you would always try and clean up some of the wounds; he would sit there patiently, watching you with such softness in his eyes that it was almost hard to believe that he wasn’t fully human anymore.

No heartbeat. No respiratory rate. No reaction to being tapped on the knees or elbows. He didn’t bleed when he got paper cuts from thorns he picked up. He didn’t feel anything when he bumped into objects around the cabin. Never even flinched.

He didn’t sleep. He didn’t produce any bodily fluids like sweat, drool or mucus. He was a rotted corpse, through and through, but he didn’t seem to be rotting even more; like the gas had caused him to decompose up to a certain point and then let him be.

You almost wondered if they did it in hopes of creating soldiers, but you didn’t really care.

Hesh was still mostly himself; still pressed himself to your back when he saw you cooking, still nuzzled into you at night while you slept, still smiled and grinned when he saw you singing and dancing as you put the washing away.

He was still free to roam during the day, though, having access to everything within the six foot tall fence at least; it spanned quite a large area, but you still worried.

You checked every day to make sure that every panel was secure so that he wouldn’t get out and get caught by someone who wouldn’t understand.

Didn’t change the fact that he was always so fucking cold to the touch, though. His fingers always felt like ice, and his lips never failed to make you shiver; it took a while to get used to it when he peppered kisses along your neck like he used to when he came home from deployment.

But like every other being on the planet, Hesh still needed to feed; he still needed to eat, and you and Logan knew what you had to do; you knew that Logan was a skilled hunter, but you still felt bad about asking even though you knew he would agree - you still felt bad about asking him to do such a thing, knowing how much it would hurt you both.

But you had to keep Hesh going, you couldn’t let him fade away, you couldn’t let him leave - neither of you were ready for that, you needed him.

It started out small.

Logan would go hunting in the woods when tourism was slower and there were less people around to notice him going after whatever game there was; he would hunker down, wait for one to become separated from the herd to get lost, and then take the shot when it wasn’t looking.

He made sure to never use his car, and to always be within walking distance; leaving the prey on the small table you had made for Hesh. He would wash his hands of the blood he had spilled, watching Hesh bite chunks from the large carcass, tearing it apart with grunts and growls.

But it was only deer, that was all; it was only ones that ever became separated from the herd, and it was only ones that wouldn’t really be noticed.

“We can’t keep this up,” Logan whispered. “Someone’s gonna find out - I know it’s only… deer. But still.”

You frowned, knowing that he was right. “We need to find a new herd, that’s all… there’s an unmarked, inconspicuous trailer… it’s big enough for a deer or two… and you can attach it to the car. Just say you’re using it to help someone move.”

“And the blood?” Logan asked with a raised brow.

“I’ve got some buck fur,” you admitted. “And antler velvet, a few hooves leftover from old taxidermy - covers it up nicely.”

Logan nodded, pursing his lips as he looked over at Hesh, who was reaching into his chest; the flesh separated easily, a gaping hole of pale grey flesh hanging open like putty, when he heard a crack, Logan growled softly.

“Hesh! No!”

Hesh looked at Riley, then back at Logan, pouting. “Fetch?”

“No!” Logan commanded, huffing loudly. “Not with your own ribs!”

You whirled around, looking at what Hesh had done and sighing heavily. “Oh, baby… come here, let’s get that sorted.”

Hesh looked at you sadly as you examined the open hole. “Bad?”

You shook your head, looking up at him as you sighed and dared to gently kiss his scarred forehead. “You’re not bad, Hesh… you’re okay. You just made a little mistake ‘s all.”

He nodded slowly, sighing. “Miss. Be. Warm.”

Your breath hitched a little as you swallowed thickly. “I know… I know…”

He outstretched his arm, a loud peeling sound coming from the insides of his elbows where the flesh was full of sharp scaps; taking a step forward, he tilted his head down slightly.

Even in death, that fucker still knew how to use the puppy dog eyes with only just one eye, and you couldn’t fucking resist; wrapping your arms around him and letting him snuggle into you as you held him.

It seemed like he couldn’t get enough, trying to keep you as close as he possibly could and trying to get his hands under your clothes; yet he couldn’t feel the warmth against his hands, and he couldn’t tell if his own were getting colder or warmer.

He just knew that he missed the feeling of being warm, and that he missed being able to actually feel you; the sensation of sweating at night because you were snuggled into one another and he was overheating beneath the thick duvet.

You missed the feeling of his warm hands on your body, almost scared to touch him thanks to the ice; it made you feel like a part of you was missing, a chopped off limb. A removed organ. You sighed, your eyes thick with tears as you sniffled, letting him go and gently kissing his cold, cracked lips.

“Logan?”

“Yeah?”

“Do me a favour,” you told him, turning away from Hesh.

Logan shrugged. “Sure.”

“Let me borrow your rifle,” you said, voice shaking. “I need to go hunting.”

Logan silently pointed over to where he had left it, and watched as you and Riley left the fenced off area, leaving him alone with his brother. He looked at him, studying his brother's features. He knew that it was still Hesh; when he looked into that sad, singular eye, he could still see his brother trapped within it.

Yet his cheeks were completely gone, the flesh sloughed off long ago during the gas attack, leaving the sides of his jaws hanging on by tendons and strings from the stained cloth. His hands were blistered and bloodied, no longer the calloused hands of his elder brother who used to ruffle his hair when he was upset.

His arms were covered in thick, long scabs just like the scratches across his hairline. His chest was agape, the skin slapping against itself dryly when it caught the slight wind. Of course Logan knew that it was still his brother, it just didn't look like him anymore.

He swallowed thickly, pulling out a packet of cigarettes from his back pocket and offering one to him; Hesh took it, and put it in his mouth as Logan lit it. The smoke drifting into the hole in his skull where his eye used to be; up close, Logan could see the tunnel all the way to the back of Hesh's skull.

He could see the grey mass of lumpy muscle that should have been pumping and thumping, that should have been light pink and squishy. That should have been a brain. He watched as Hesh took a long drag, but never blew out the smoke again, and he frowned.

In every sense, it was Hesh, Logan knew that, but it was… he was wrong. He was Hesh, but he was wrong. But he was still Hesh, and Logan wasn’t ready to be without him - even if it meant having the wrong one.

He sniffled, daring to look at his brother’s remaining eye as he nodded slowly.

“Dad misses you, y’know,” he said, his voice shaking. “I wish I could bring him here, but… it’d hurt him… but he still talks about you all the time like you’re… still here.”

Hesh nodded. “Still here.”

“You were my big brother,” Logan started, tears in his eyes and his voice falling apart with every syllable that left his mouth.

He wished he could have had more time, he wished he could have even though he knew that he would never.

Still, he cleared his throat, and he dared to continue despite his voice giving out, “you protected me, you taught me how to do all the shit Dad wouldn’t - how to smoke, how to drink, how to misbehave, how to sneak into pubs without ID… and I’m lost without you. I was never… I never wanted to… to be alive without you, man. You were always meant to be there for me, you promised.”

Hesh frowned. “Still here… still brother.”

“I know,” Logan whispered, taking a shaky drag from his cigarette. “But you’re not… you’re not you… you’re not… you’re not alive anymore, and I… I can’t let you go because I can’t picture a life without my big brother.”

“Love,” Hesh growled out, his hands signing the words. Muscle memory. “Love you.”

A sob left Logan as he whimpered and did his best to steady himself. “I love you, too.”

Riley was crouched in the bush next to you, sniffing the air as you steadied Logan’s rifle, hunkered down, you used leaves to pad the gun so that it was even more silenced, and with the commotion from all the lorries nearby, nobody would ever hear a thing.

You had your eyes on the prey, and so did the dog beside you, ready to pounce if you needed him to; you watched as your prey took a few steps forward, right into your sites, and then you pulled the trigger.

It reached up to grab its neck, suddenly slumping to the side and twitching violently; you pulled the trigger again, and this time, an orange spray rained through the woods, and you could easily see that part of the head was missing.

It was done.

Riley ran over, sniffing it and making sure that it was dead before he sat down, waiting for you to come collect your prize; you sighed, grabbing the ankle and trying to ignore the bits of metal slapping your hand as you dragged it.

Riley was the first to go back, while you followed behind shortly after. The dog was happy, but as you hauled your prize onto the slaughter table, you couldn’t help but to feel slightly empty.

Usually, hunting helped you to clear your mind, but… not this time.

Logan came over, Hesh following behind him, and he looked at what you had managed to get. “Good eating.”

You nodded, removing a boot and tossing it aside with a pile of others. Logan helped you to remove the coat, hat, scarf, gloves, shirt, trousers and underwear in total silence. “Check the coat for a wallet, same with the trousers.”

Logan nodded curtly, heading over to the clothing pile that was steadily starting to pile up against the fence. “On it.”

Hesh stood on the other side of the table, watching as you grabbed a knife. He brought his hands up, and smiled, daring to slowly sign four words: “you are my sunshine.”

You looked at him, and sniffled as you nodded. “My only sunshine.”

“You make happy,” Hesh told you, then pointed at the grey skies. “Even when.”

You couldn’t believe that he still remembered that song, the one you used to sing in the car together when he picked you up for date nights; the one that he was going to sing at your wedding. You wanted to sob, but nodded slowly as you swallowed thickly, watching him head over to his little food table.

You whistled at Logan, and pointed over. “I think he’s come back for his noon feeding.”

Logan nodded, daring to come over and aid you with chopping up the limbs and removing flesh from bone. “Is it wrong I still love him?”

You shook your head, daring to meet his gaze even though your own was teary. “No, because I still do, too… I know… I know he’s not our Hesh, but…”

“But you can’t imagine a life without him,” Logan whispered, picking up a pile of goopy, dripping flesh as he cleared his throat. “Nor me.”

You continued to grab what meat you could while Logan put what was done on Hesh’s table.

Immediately, he gathered up as much as he could in his hands, blood dripping from between his grey fingertips and staining his skin harshly.

He bit into it, a loud squelch echoing all around as he started to rip it apart; Logan could see the bits of flesh moving in his mouth through the holes in his cheeks, and was almost sick at the sight.

Still, he went back and picked up some more meat from your table before giving it to Hesh.

“We need to burn all of this,” you told him, nodding at the piles of clothes and mouldy bones. “Or at least bury it.”

Logan nodded in agreement. “You got a shovel?”

“Back room in the cabin,” you told him, clearing your throat. “Logan?”

He hummed as he looked back at you.

“You’re the best brother-in-law I could ask for,” you told him sincerely. “Thank you.”

Hesh got up as Logan walked away, dragging himself over to where you were and planting his hands on the table as he glared at you, tilting his head to the side. “Love… love you… my… sunshine.”

He looked pleased with himself, and you just couldn’t help it, grinning as you nodded eagerly. “I love you, too, baby… go eat, you need it. We’ll have more for you tomorrow, alright?”

Hesh nodded, extending his hand and showing you what he had in it, gesturing for you to take some. “Eat.”

You looked at the boneless fingers, and you smiled. “Maybe in a minute, I gotta get all this cleaned up.”

Hesh left them on the table, nudging them your way. “Eat. Love.”

You sighed, licking your lips. “In a minute, I promise.”

He frowned, but reluctantly slunk back to his table; you weren’t really sure what to do, whether to engage in what could only be described as polite cannibalism, or to wait until Hesh was too busy to notice you throw them away.

But you supposed, you deserved such a torment; it was all your fault that Hesh had become what he did, and you knew that you could not change that even if you did your best.

You knew that you deserved such torment for letting him die, for not being able to save the man you loved so much.

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justcommander · 6 months

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Well, I did get asked to write a little more about my little Father and Children AU.

Some little facts about this unusual trio? Of course, under the cut!

This is long. I'm gonna warn you, this is a whole lot of rambling.

This trio won't stay a trio for long, once Lisa and Father Garcia will reach John. Michael won't be happy to see one of the two. But will eventually accept his presence.

So, we started with Michael, a little more about him. The boy is not doing too well, but is also getting better now under John's care. His hair started to grow back but won't ever be as fluffy and soft as they were before: now they're coarse and grey. If they get grabbed and pulled, they fall right off in thick tufts. His nose is completely gone and he his right leg is permanently wounded, making John's knee look perfect in comparison. So he walks with the help of a crutch. He already got cataract, because of the infection in his eyes. Those sunglasses are a gift from the priest and he refuses to take them off even for sleeping.

Why wasn't he brought to a hospital? Well, John is terrified by those places and can't be the one to bring him there, risking to have police taking him back in for being a suspect for kidnapping and harming a kid that they've been looking for.

But why won't he go back to his parents exactly? They should be still alive. And they are. However, there is a number of motives why he won't do it. He's afraid to return to them now he loos like this, they've never been very caring towards him, and yet he also doesn't want to put them in danger now he got involved in something so much bigger than him. He thinks John is truly the only one who can fight demons and he loves him a lot. To him he's more of a father, than a Father.

How did he convince John that he does not have parents to return to? Easy: He lied about his name. He claimed to be called Michael Garcia. Unfortunately for him Father Garcia manages to contact John and this leads to a lot of misunderstandings. And confusion.

He speaks Spanish, yes. Though uses mostly English because John doesn't understand it. Only when he gets agitated or feels strong emotions of any kind, he slips. Or when Amy starts speaking Latin, he begins to speak Spanish to her. And John loses his mind when they do that.

Amy now!

Amy was saved by John just a little too late, but not that late. When he found her, her face had already been carved out but no offering was made. John made good use of that "one bullet" by shooting at Gary, and stopping him before he could continue with the ritual. Yes he shot Gary. Without knowing what he had just done. He took Amy away from him and wrapped up her face in bandages. He narrowly got away with his life and Amy safe in his arms.

What does this mean for her? It means she cannot be exorcised fully, even if he tries, because her body is dead. There is a portal to hell in her face, but without the sacrifice it required, nothing can truly come out. What kept Amy alive was the awareness of having John there for her, caring so much. The Second Death had never happened. The death of the soul was prevented because she never stopped fighting, when he arrived. Despite the pain and everything she lost. He was still there. The UNSPEAKABLE is inside her, but his control is weak. So weak, that she takes over without him even realizing, when he thinks to be the one in control in certain situations.

This means she can use those supernatural powers, stealing them from him. But the longer she does it, the more she risks to lose herself. Every night, she is afraid he could take over while she's asleep too , that's why she does not want to take off that straightjacket and specifically asks to be restrained. John can't bring himself to do it, he's afraid of that thing. So Michael does this instead.

Basically they both Love John so much. He gave them a reason to live, he put his life in danger to save them so they will fight for him even if they're frightened by the cultists and by Gary. They're just kids after all. But their Father also became their father, for both of them. They might be scared, but they won't let anyone take him away. In those moments when John's life really is at risk, that's when neither of them would hesitate and jump at those cultists's throats.

Anyway, they are very hard to handle, and they know it. When john faints on the chair after three sleepless nights, they try to put him on the couch and cover him with a blanket. They try to cook, they try to tidy the place. A little apology, for realizing they've exhausted him to this point.

And I wrote way too much. I warned you. This was a ramble. Ops? Maybe I'll write more in the future, when I'll learn to write more by writing less. Gosh, I talk too much.

#the commander talks #the commander talks too much #so sorry #faith the unholy trinity #father and children au #tw: straightjacket #tw: body horror #no actual visual of that #it's only mentioned but you know how it is.

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kcrossvine-art · 1 year

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Hey folks n blokes! A few days ago ya might've been one of the people who helpfully responded to my question asking which LotR recipe we should cook next, and you all had great ideas. Including a golum salmonella sushi platter. There were a few that twinkled directly into my eyes, but only one fish gets fried at a time! Thanks @vensre for the suggestion!

Today from Lord of the Rings, we will be making Bilbo Baggin's Seed Cakes

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to a Seed Cake?” YOU MIGHT ASKIf you're an amer*can like me, you might have never heard of a seed cake outside of the context of bird feeders.

Salted butter

Fine sugar

Whole milk

Eggs

Almond flour

Vanilla extract

Brown sugar

Caraway/fennel seeds

Ground anise seed

Ground nutmeg

The real key ingredient here is the caraway seeds. The factor that ties all recipes together. Important note, anise seeds and anise stars are 2 separate things!

AND, “what does a Seed Cake taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKTastes like what an old bookstore smells like.

Smells like warm licorice

But without the chemical-y aftertaste

Take a shortbread and make it denser and with less airpockets. Thats your texture.

A little bit like gingerbread but nuttier, earthier

Very rich

Beautiful crumbly brown outside, soft teddybear-brown inside

Pairs well with a glass of milk hahaha

"A wonderful blend of sweet and savoury, seed cakes make a perfect after-supper morsel."-LotR Online. Mentioned both in the books and the MMO, being served after dinner ties into their real-life origins! Before caraway seeds in cakes became popular in the victorian era, they were often candied and served as dessert because caraway seeds help with after-meal indigestion.

. used an herb grinder for the anise seeds . used light brown sugar where brown sugar called for . used blanched almond flour . if i made this again, would probably use higher quantity of nutmeg or add cinammon

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From entering the kitchen, to having this in my stomach, it took roughly 2 hours? Ish? Definitely make sure to let your 2 sticks of butter and 3 eggs sit out a bit beforehand so they reach room temp, it helps them whip together the warmer they are.

The most difficult part of this recipe was finding the seeds. Everything except the caraway/fennel and anise seed i already had, and maybe its a recent thing but since when did grocery stores start charging such an obscene amount for a regular bottle of spices? Is it not enough to have everything else infected by price-gouging, now we'll be scraping pennies for our little flavor heavens? Bleh.

The seed cake is a new experience for me also, and many pardons if some sacred seed cake rule has been broken today. It tasted fantastic! The licorice was a strong flavor I've never experienced in this form before, it suits itself well. If you're baking for children or have a sweeter palette, the bitterness may be a bit much, but just have them dunk it in milk honestly. It did feel like there was some 'empty space' on my palette while eating- if that makes any sense? It couldve been layered with another flavor but i still can't put my finger on what that missing flavor could be.

Definitely be careful to put the eggs into the butter/sugar a little bit at a time. I got impatient the first-go, and the eggs incorporated less, and it led to a greasier cake. People seem to say that storing these and eating them the next day makes them taste better, i cannot attest as i ate both within the same day of making them.

This recipe has earned itself a glimmering 7/10, for making my kitchen smell nice but also making me use a standmixer if i want my arms to stay attached (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.)

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

220g salted butter

225g fine sugar

16g of milk

3 eggs

175g almond flour

2 drops vanilla extract

Pinch of brown sugar

1tbsp caraway seeds

1 1/2tbsp ground anise seed

1/2tsp ground nutmeg

Method:

Pre-heat the oven to 320F. Soften the butter and let eggs come to room temperature.

Cream the butter by itself for around 5 minutes with a standmixer on med., until light in color. Add sugar and continue until the mixture is pale and fluffy.

In a seperate bowl beat the eggs until 'frothy'.

Stir a small amount at a time of the eggs iinto the butter and sugar mixture, making sure each portion incorporates as you go.

Add the caraway, ground anise seed, ground nutmeg, and vanilla extract.

Gently fold in the almond flour. Careful not to overmix.

Add a tablespoon of milk, or until the batter keeps its form but drips off an upside down spoon.

Pour into a greased 9-inch round cake pan, if not available muffin/cupcake pans should also work.

Sprinkle a bit of brown sugar on top.

Bake for 40-50 minutes. Cool for 10 before serving.

#lotr #cake recipe #the hobbit #bilbo baggins

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joyflameball · 5 months

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I can't explain why Charlie gives me such an intense feeling of grief but I just. Imagine that your best friend/maybe crush slowly starts drawing away from you, becoming snippier with you, and one day you haven't heard from him in a while so you visit his house and discover he's been toying with actual magic, real magic. And he's losing control of it. He's been scribbling on the wall of a room you knew nothing of, writing your name. And you're scared and confused and you ask him to please, please just explain to you what's going on after your next show, you can have a getaway together. And then at his last show, the magic you feared before even knowing it was real, the magic you know nothing of, the magic you cannot comprehend, turns against him and drags both you and him into an unknown land.

And you are fused to the magic now. You can still barely understand it. If anything, you understand less now that you've come here. To this incomprehensible prison of a world. But you understand one thing- there is something in your mind. Like a virus, infecting you, and you can barely hold it back from completely erasing you, erasing the part of you that wants to help, that still cares about the man who dragged you here. The man now trapped here as well. You can't help but feel bitter- you are bound to the night, to something overtaking you, consuming you, and he is bound to a throne, one that gives him power over the world. You're trapped in shadows, where you can only exist in the night. He's trapped on a throne, where he can control the world. But... he's still trapped. Unable to leave his throne, trapped forever. You know you could free him, but you won't. He doesn't deserve that after what he did to you. What he turned you into.

And some unknown amount of time passes, time feels so ephemeral here. And one of the many people he's ensnared in this trap frees him, and takes his place- king of the world, bound to the board. But this survivor, this new king of the world, he's not like the one who trapped you. He's a bit of a fool, a bit in over his head, but he's got a good heart, he's resisted the pull of the throne (for now), and he's honestly kinda a sweetheart. So you let him go. But the virus in your mind can't be held back, and it gives you all his power and leaves him as he was- a little human with nothing. You let him go, but the power the throne had- it's so much, it's everything, and the virus inside you is fighting you, fighting to completely destroy you, destroy your humanity, destroy your mind, turning you into a beast that only wants destruction and death, and you can't let it do that. You cannot let the last good part of you be destroyed.

So you become it. In a way. You retain your mind, your memory, everything that made you who you are. But you are also powerful. Cunning. Calculated. You take your place as queen of this world, and a queen needs her subjects. So you too trap people in this including... your sister. Your sister, who was always a bit bossy, overprotective, who's been searching for you since that damned day. You trapped her here. You dragged your big sister into this world, and you can't take her out of it. She's different, she's changed so much. And she loves you so deeply, she mentions you so often, but the things she mentions feel... muted. Distant. Things you remember you were like. Things you are not. She barely knows you anymore, and you don't know her. The you that your sister is looking for is gone, morphed with the virus in your head into one being, one wise and cunning and cruel. That little doll is gone, shattered, and now you're made of something stronger. Your sister searches for her, and will not ever find her

And you love her still. You loved, and you were loved, and now you're the monster they all fear. The queen of this world, the threat keeping them going. You retained your humanity, but you can never be human. Never again. You can never be the sister she loves, the sister she's looking for, ever again. Like god I look at the quotes about her and feel so much immense, unending grief Klei created such a fucking tragic character in every way and it just hurts to think about

#cassie rambles #don't starve #dst charlie #check the notes #dst

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myechoecho · 6 months

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Moon in the Day, ep 7

On the one hand, I thought it was a bit harsh of Yeong Hwa to tell Do Ha to get over it and he's a stalker despite the dreams she's had. From her perspective, it's very creepy to think there's been someone watching you your whole life and seemingly knows every single detail.

Do Ha understands some of her resistance, I think. When she talks about her trauma for her entire life she really doesn't think of his trauma or asks why. That that is in large part because Do Ha is deliberately leaving out massive chunks of the story. He tells her he needs to know how he died - he knows the how, what he needs is the why. Despite her protests she does believe him. And no matter what she says, he has never really confused her for Ri Ta. She may be her reincarnation but she has always been Yeong Hwa for him.

this pond reminds me of the one from their past.

This episode we also see a turning point for Ri Ta, and later for Yeong Hwa.

In the past, Do Ha fights his father's men to protect Ri Ta and then takes an arrow for her. He wakes to find his father, and demands to know where Ri Ta is. When his father says he killed her, Do Ha is done. Ri Ta was the only sliver of happiness that he had. He had been trapped for years by his adoptive father he no longer cares if his father's men kill him.

But it's all been some twisted test since Ri Ta is alive. His father tells him to kill her but Do Ha cannot. And because he can't, he is now even more chained to his father. I think this display goes a gets Ri Ta to change how she sees Do Ha, even more than she had already started.

Do HA suggests that they both live, and survive. She looks surprised when he says it's better to stay close to him so she can kill him.

When Do Ha's father sends him out to battle, even though he is still badly injured, she insists that he will come back alive. She waits for him. He's so surprised to see her then when he comes back. No one has ever waited for him before. Do Ha is even more stunned when she tries to help him. He pushes her away.

Do Ha passes out and Ri Ta is genuinely worried for him when she finds. Do Ha's father is consistent with his awfulness:

I dunno, maybe don't send your already badly injured son into battle where his wound could get worse or infected?? Even the other soldier guy said it was no big deal for them to handle and you still told Do Ha to go. And what more does he have to do for you? Why do you hate him so??

Ri Ta tends to him and there is a big shift in her thinking, though she is still conflicted. Her sympathy for him is stronger than her resentment. She cannot bear to see him chained like a dog to his father because of her. She feels guilty. If she kills him, he will be freed of his ties and she of her resentment even though it will be at the cost of her life. But she cannot do it.

I LOVED the scene between them after he wakes up. He asks her why she didn't kill him and she says could not. He tries to give her an out, to say that he has not found life valuable yet but she refuses to take it. They are in this together now. They both recognize how incredibly messed up their relationship is. They know it but they are now tied to each other because of how they feel so they going to try to make the best of it.

Interesting too - both Ri Ta and Do Ha are the only ones to have told the other to survive.

The dreams this episode seem to make Yeong Hwa have more sympathy for Do Ha. So much that she wonders what would have happened to them if they met in a different time in place. Do Ha is surprised by that. Yeong Hwa has decided to keep having dreams (though i don't think she has a choice) but now she's going to make an effort. She wants to know how the story ends. Yeong Hwa also seems to need to find out for herself, because she really has not asked Do Ha for details.

As for Joon Oh's brother, I hope he questions WHY the old CEO knows so much about Joon Oh being weird.

#moon in the day #kdrama

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enbyleighlines · 2 months

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Ugh I am so uncomfortable right now

I have a sinus infection and I haven’t been sleeping well the past couple of nights, so I’m tired, but no matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to fall asleep

But I’m also too tired to do anything else, so I’m just stuck in this state of absolute boredom

So I just binged a bunch of anime today

Finished Dungeon Meshi and loved it. Absolute banger of a show. And so many attractive character designs. Laios? Kabru?? Daya??? The other female dwarf???? That evil elf twink????? The female orc??????

All it needs is a super femme, super bitchy queen bee type character, and it will have satisfied ALL of my types

Also Falin and Marcille are so yuri coded, love that friends to lovers schoolgirl energy

I also watched the first episode of that omegaverse anime. It was p good. I was confused why they decided to make alpha/omega relationships the taboo one, since typically that is the most common one. Because they wanted the characters to face adversity without directly including homophobia, I suppose?

Then why not make them an alpha/alpha or omega/omega pair?? That’s something I haven’t seen before, and it would better align with the whole metaphorical homophobia thing!

I mean, I know why they didn’t, but idk. It would have been more interesting in my opinion.

Additionally, I had a hard time focusing on the anime due to the way they portrayed the child, Hikari. They said he was 1 going on 2, so as someone who works with that age group, I couldn’t help but notice every time Hikari wasn’t acting his age.

I won’t bore anyone with details, but basically, his gross motor movement is pretty behind for a boy who is almost 2. Meanwhile, his cognitive and emotional development is quite advanced for that age group. His ability to speak in nearly full sentences is not entirely out of the realm of possibility (I’ve taught 1 year olds with advanced vocabularies before) but his ability to still access his vocabulary during moments of emotional distress is less convincing.

I wish it was that easy to communicate with toddlers in the midst of an emotional meltdown. It would make teaching so much easier.

However, I did think it was a cute touch that after being compared to a star, Hikari spent the rest of the day pointing out every star he saw and calling it his own name. And I appreciate that they didn’t bother showing us the 20 more times he did the same exact thing the following two weeks.

Toddlers will 100% become obsessed with a tiny detail they overhear, and talk about it almost exclusively for weeks afterwards.

So be careful about what you say around toddlers. You never know what they will internalize and repeat like a broken record for the next 14 days straight.

Anyway, that’s basically my day in a nutshell.

I’m tired of watching anime, so if anyone wants to ramble about something to me to keep me entertained while I ride out this sinus infection, please do so.

You could tell me about one of your ocs, or the last anime you watched, or gush to me about your otp, whatever suits your fancy.

Also, please do contact me if you have thoughts on which cuties from Dungeon Meshi should kiss. So far the only ones I’m shipping are Marcille and Falin, so I am open to learning more about the popular ships of the fandom.

#dungeon meshi #tadaima okaeri

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stinkysam · 1 year

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Eddie Munson - 1985

Warning : none

Genre : fluff

Synopsis : Knowing reader wants to be a tattoo artist, Eddie offers you his skin as training canvas but you refuse, not trusting your skills. You finally caves in at the idea of matching tattoos. If Eddie gets a shitty one, so will you.

Reader : male (he/him)

A/N : end is rushed. Don't wanna rewrite it. Maybe a part 2. Maybe not. Will see.

The afternoon was warm and calm, P.E having exhausted most of the students for the rest of the day. So in this peaceful afternoon you had joined Eddie at his trailer and soon you found yourself sitting on his floor with Eddie on the side of his bed in front of you, his knee at eye level.

He stays silent as he watches you shave his leg meticulously, your head bopping out of beat to the music playing as you were too focused to be in sync.

You clean it up and take your pen as you quickly begin to draw on the shaved square of skin, ignoring your friend's intense staring, only pulling away after several long minutes. You’re not finished but Eddie gets up and walks to the mirror.

"Nice”

“Would be nicer if you’d let me finish, Munson.”

“I’m telling you, it’s gonna be sick” he says as he regains his place to let you continue.

With one hand you held his leg in place while you drew with the other one. You’ve never tattooed on a live canvas before, not even yourself, too indecisive to dare try. You couldn’t help but think this was a bad idea, but at least, in support of his ugly tattoo you’ll get one as well.

Once you’re done you allow him to go look in the mirror while you prepare your ‘workplace’ and remind him to not touch his skin. You give him a quick glance to judge his reaction in case he asks for modifications but he stays silent, admiring the soon to be tattoo from every angle.

"Already love this baby"

“Yeah I saw you flirt with the mirror.”

“Aw, don't be jealous now, darling,” he says, making you chuckle before continuing

“do you need me in the same position or do we have to change ?”

“Same position s’good.”

And with that Eddie sat back on his bed. As it crinkled under him he realized you had placed cling wrap and paper towels on most parts of the bed and floor, also covering the hanging bedsheet. He didn’t know if you simply didn’t want to leave any ink stain or if you were slightly becoming a clean freak. Maybe a bit of both.

“I won’t get it infected, relax.” he said.

But you ignore him, scrubbing your hands thoughtfully with soap before putting on some gloves. Good, now he’s stressing as well. Though it all washes away once he hears the buzzing of the tattoo gun, he’s beaming with excitement, ready as ever with a smile on his face.

“No second thoughts ?”

“You wish.”

Despite being familiar with that kind of pain, Eddie still grimaces from time to time but he says nothing about it. At this point it is more of an uncomfortable sting-like feeling than hammering pain. It’s only after an hour and a half that you pull away.

“Done ! Go check yourself in the mirror, do not touch it.”

“Oooh god ! It’s fucking metal, dude !"

You laugh at his reaction, silently sighing in relief at his pleased expression. It was not perfect, some lines were wobbly and it definitely will need to be touched up but you were still proud of your work. It was not so bad for a first time.

“I- Love- It. Now though,” he says as he abruptly turns around “it’s your turn, mister, and you cannot escape it.”

“I would never.”

You still clean up his skin and place cling wrap around his leg while reminding him how to take care of it. You know he knows but he lets you do. It reassures you and it helps you prepare for when you’ll really face someone you don’t know, when you’ll have actual customers. He kind of envies you. You already have it sorted out, you know what your dream job is and you have everything to make it happen, you won’t even need to leave Hawkins —although it’s heavily advised—. It’s also your last year while he’ll have to repeat his, again.

Eddie watches you replace all the cling wrap and paper towels on his bed by new ones. You’re clearly determined on doing it correctly. Once you’re done you also change the needle and ink and instruct him how to clean his hands correctly. Then you shave and clean your arm yourself for him to draw on.

You wait patiently while Eddie cautiously begins to draw on your arm, near the shoulder, he tries to not be shaky but he feels like the more he tries to contain his body the less it works. After a few minutes he lets you check in the mirror as he turns the small TV on. It’s wobbly and messy but it perfectly fits the style you want.

Eddie is careful while using the tattoo gun, holding it the way you showed him and how he saw his previous tattoo artists hold it. It's not his first time but he doesn't want to mess up your tattoo. And you're also stressing him out, watching over him and laughing when he sticks his tongue out in focus.

In the end, Eddie was almost a natural. Or maybe it was because it was not as painful as you thought.

“Careful, you’re gonna put saliva on my arm”

“Shut up, you’re stressing me, looking over my hand like a fucking hawk.”

“You did the same, dude”

When he finally stepped away you looked at it in the mirror. It looked funny and a bit different than planned. But you loved it.

Maybe matching tattoos wasn't so much of a bad idea.

#male reader #m!reader #stranger things #stranger things x male reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x male reader

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sweetmuffynsblog · 2 years

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What?

This is the EPILOGUE part! To be honest, i don't want to write thd EPILOGUE but then i decided that you deserve it! So enjoy!

You accompanied your father to attend his duty as The King. Now that he grows old and exposed to the infection caused by the Swords on the Iron Throne which makes him cannot walk properly, you are the real power behind the King.

Being the Heir, you ensure your people's life comes first than anything else, you give them proper jobs, give them home, criminal rates in the King's Landing and all of the Westeros are so low, you give the men the lands to plant the seeds for agriculture and always ensured that the payement for them are not conveted by their superior, you got that help from Ser Harwin Strong, the commander of the City Watch himself always making sure that the common folks get the pays as what they deserved. Common folks adore you, you are the constant name in their lips everytime they pray to their Gods. Much more than your father nor your great-grandfather's.

Your father passed away peacefully, in his bedside, he was accompanied by both of his eldest grandsons, your sons, Aemon and Baelon, both named after two of the supposedly Kings, your sons grow up to be the most unalike yet so alike children ever, Aemon, the firstborn is a cunning and politically ambitious but so kind, he is very fit to be a ruler just like you, meanwhile, Baelon is very much like his namesake, brave, and hot tempered like his father, but exceptionally kind. Since your labor that traumatized your husband, he vows to never let you fall pregnant again, yet, Alyssa and Visenya Targaryen were born three and five years into your marriage, much to your pleasure and Daemon's freaking out.

You are crowned in fourth day of the fourth moon in 129 AC, a day and a month after the late King passed, the members of the councils want you to be crowned as soon as possible but you tell them to wait, because grieving is more important, you and your sister were already went passed this when your mother had died but they never give you a time to properly grieving her, resulting a very bad choices in both of your sides.

You are also very thankful that Aegon doesn't turn out horrible like what you saw in the fire, and your sister Rhaenyra is very sweet, a mother to three beautiful children with white hair and purple eyes, perfect combination of Velaryon and Targaryen, you somehow find it hilarious that Laenor and Rhaenyra are be able to manage for having three children together despite their same likeness towards 'Dicks'. But you are happy nonethless.

Alicent is distressed, you can see by one look in her face, you face her with a questioning look, "what's bothering you, Dowager Queen?"

"it's Aegon, Your Grace," she says, you look at her,

"what happened to him?"

"i want him to marry! Preferably to Helaena but he doesn't seem to keen to the idea?"

"Aegon is a Prince, he can do whatever he wants." you say, shrugging your shoulder, while sitting and pour a wine for her, "and for Helaena, Aemon and Daeron, are same. Especially Helaena, you should ask her opinion first before make her marrying Aegon. It is great if they love each other but what if not? They are siblings, and it will not good if they resent each other while in marriage."

Alicent looks at you with a wide eyes, "but, isn't it women's duty to marry whoever their parents want them to marry?" Alicent asks make you let out a chuckle, she sits infront of yoy and you look at the younger woman, yes, she's younger than you by a few years but still your stepmother,

"you, me and Rhaenyra were the example for a forcing marriage by our parents, and you know how it ended. Sometimes the marriage is bearable and we can find a love in it but many times it ended horrible. Especially for us, women. I guess you can understand right? I don't want any other Targaryen Women facing the same thing as us did, and one day i can chance that women can choice anyone they want. And Helaena will be the first. She is a good girl and will be a good wife and mother one day, ask her, if she has eye for anyone, and if she doesn't, then we wait couple more years, it's not like we will get poor just because we keep our daughters. And she is the daughter of the King and the Sister of the Queen, i don't think those sheeps paraded themselves as noble lords can tamed the Dragon in her." you grinned, while Alicent lets out a defeated sigh, she knows very well that your reasoning is very logical,

"well, Helaena's maid told me that she and Rhaenyra's boy are close."

"Nyra's? Which one? Jace or Luce?"

"The second." and you let out a good laugh,

"you and Rhaenyra will be In Laws..." you tease her while she lets out a huff, makes you laugh harder, "well, i know that both of you have a slightly problem at each other, but honestly, you should call it truce because maybe both your children will end up together." you bring the cup towards you and play with it, "besides, first love never die, yes?"

Alicent gives you unbelief look, while you sip your wine and enjoying her reactions,

"how?'

"i know a lot of things, i just happen to not show it." you smirk at her, she huffs again and massage her temple,

"damn you."

"i am always damn great, thank you so much."

***

Daemon finds you in a small council meetings, he is a Master of Law, while Corlys as Master of Ship, Lyonel Strong still a Hand, and his son, Larys is a Master of Whispers, and Princess Rhaenys Targaryen is the Mistress of Coins, you chance Grand Maester Mellos's position and give it fo Grand Maester Gerald and you don't want to chance your Queensguard and insisted that Ser Harrold Westerling becomes your commander, many has adviced you to chance it to Ser Criston Cole but you still hold a grudge against him when he killed your bestfriend, Ser Joffrey Lonmouth. He smiles and giving you a kiss in your temple, while Corlys and others snickered. He knows everyone already used to both of you doing display of affection,

"let's begin this meeting, shall we?"

***

"I'm hungry." you tell Daemon as soon as both of you step outside of the council meeting, he smiles at you and kiss your nose, both of you walk hand in hand to the King's solar or in this case, Queen's solar. Daemon open the door and both of you are smiling when you are attacked by hugs and kisses,

"muña! Kepa!" mother. Father. You welcome the hugs and kisses then laugh filled the air, "how is the meeting?" you look at the little girl who ask, barely a ten years old but really love the knowledge.

"the meeting went smooth, thankfully, that's why we can come here and eat with you." you tell her, Alyssa, your first daughter let out a snort which make you laugh harder, while Visenya, your youngest daughter places herself in her father's lap, your older sons sit in their chair but not before giving you both big kiss on the cheek. You and Daemon always making sure to show affections and making all of them feel loved without leaving the other. That's why your children are very adored by common folks because they are not cold like others.

"is Ser Criston whines again?" Visenya asks make you laugh, Aemon shoot his sister looks but he couldn't hide the amuse smile in his lips,

"when is he never whine?" Daemon retord and everyone laugh, it's always like this, while everyone jokes around and talking shit about Lords and Ladies of The Court that the children find annoying, it happens to Ser Cole's time.

Tok tok...

"enter." your maid, Alina or now Lady Alina or Melissandre enters, "what happened, Ali?"

"a letter from Harrenhall, Your Graces." she gives you a letter with Strong insignia, then bows to you, you open the letter and instantly your mood chances, you swallowed the lump in your throat and pass the letter to your husband, after he reads it, you look at each other and let out a sigh.

"are Lord and Lady Velaryon aware of this?" you ask her, Alina nods,

"yes." you sigh again and wipe your tears,

"what happened?" Baelon asks, you give him a forced smile,

"your aunt, Laena was passed away due to the childbirth."

Laena was married to Harwin Strong and both were lived in Harrenhall, she already gave birth to a twin girls before, Baela and Rhaena, and was pregnant again despite Maester's warning, you thought she was going to be ok since you always make sure to send the best ingredients to make a tonics for her. You look at your children,

"i am going to accompany the guards to bring Laena's body back." you tell them, Daemon nods, you look at Alina and she goes to your chamber and prepares your riding dress, the Targaryen colours. After you changed, you hug your children and kisses their forehead before plant a kiss to your husband's lips, "see you, my loves."

You and your family walk out from the chamber, to find the Velaryons already awaited for you. There's unshed tears in their eyes and Rhaenys immediately engulfs you into hug, you hug her back,

"we will bring her body back, and her children into Red Keep. Here, she will have a funeral procession fits of a Princess." you tell everyone, "she is a blood of the Dragons."

***

You mount your dragon, Vanarr, while Rhaenys mounts her Meleys, Laenor mounts his Seasmoke and Rhaenyra her Syrax. While the Royal Guards stand outside and begins their ride to Harrenhall, with horses, the ride will be long, up to weeks, but with Dragons, you arrived just exact three hours later. The courtyard filled with a Lords and Ladies in Riverlands, everyone gives you bows and curtsy when you get off your dragon and let him fly. Everyone parted for the Royal Family that come to bring their member back, that's what happened to Princess Daella Targaryen when she passed away after given birth to your mother, her nephews, nieces and brothers came and fetch her body and bring along her child. You see Harwin Strong stands with his daughters, arms in both their shoulders, he gives you bows while the girls attempted to curtsy,

"no. Don't, my sweetlings." Your heart break at their sight and bring them to hug, Baela hugs you with both of her hands but refused to crying, while her younger twin clutches her dragon egg tightly and crying in your arms, "it's ok. Yeah? We will go to King's Landing, sure?"

You let go of the girls, as they embrace their grandmother, you walk to Ser Harwin, "my deepest condolences, Ser." you say while he only nods, "i will take Laena's body with me to King's Landing. And she will have the funeral procession of the Old Valyria."

"but, Your Grace-" you know he wants his Lady wife to has a funeral in the way Faith of the Seven has but you can't let it happen, no matter what, Laena was a blood of old Valyria, a Dragon's daughter, she deserved the Valyrian procession.

"she was a daughter of the Targaryen Princess. She was a blood of the Dragon, it's her rights."

***

A funeral of Laena going smoothly, you command your dragon and she light a fire to hers and her son's body. The two girls are still grieving, You have to step in and give them love they deserve. They look up on you in everything and Alyssa and Visenya treated them like their sisters.

Your children grow up well, now it's the time for them to choose a marriage partner, Your first born son wished to marry Daenaera Velaryon, despite you really wished him to considered either Baela or Rhaena but he told you that he loves both of them as he loves Alyssa and Visenya. Thus, you and your husband agreed that he will marry Daenaera, the proposal comes from Dorne, they want a peace alliagance, they proposed to marry their Princess to your second born son, Baelon and one of your daughter to them, which you agreed after considered your children's opinion, Dorne then bend the kness to you. Alyssa is the one who marry into house Nymeros Martell of Dorne, While your brother Aegon takes a Lady of the House Celtigar, an old Targaryen Loyalist of Old Blood Valyria, you allow him, it's not everyday your brother really wants something, your other brother, Aemond asks your permission to marry Visenya which you grant him because you see Visenya also smitten with her uncle, while your youngest brother Daeron opted to become a Maester in Oldtown, you want to refused but he insisted, that's why you grant him. Baela was supposed to wed Jacaerys Velaryon but she refused and wed her other cousin, Alyn Velaryon instead, while your nephew takes a Tyrell girl to be his wife, Lucerys wed Helaena as they both wished while Joffrey opted the Knight time and you offered him a position in the Queensguard, which he happily agreed. Rhaena married Ser Corwyn Cobray of the Vale, they both love each other so you let him.

Your reign is very peaceful, people call you "The God's Gift", "The Realm's Pleasure" and the "Blessed Queen". From your reign, the law changes, every firstborn child no matter wether it's male or female, he or she will inherited the Throne and no one will challenge them as long as they are not Maegor the Cruel reborn. You stop the long decades war of the Faith, and bring Dorne into the Seven Kingdoms, there's a lot of Dragons that hatches, the House Targaryen is powerful than ever. The common folks's life are better than ever, King's Landing get rid of it foul smell, criminal rate is low.

You decided to abdicate in the favor of your son and heir after he's in age, then you and your husband mount your dragons then begin your travelling, both of you release the Queen and her consort's attribute in you and become a normal Dragon Rider, you go to Pentos, and to Yi Ti, Qarth even Old Valyria, you travel as far as to the Lands of the Always Winter, becomes the second Targaryen Queen after Alyssane Targaryen to do so, you go to Essos, to the Free Cities and even Dothraki's region, the Great Grass Sea, and even to the Ulthos and Mussovy, before both of you decided to stay in Pentos and guard them against the Triarchy.

You and Daemon enjoying your stay, you miss your children, sometimes Visenya will fly to you with her dragon, but you know they will manage it. Then the legend about the two of you begins, The Sell Sword and his Lady wife who ride two magnificent Dragons, they don't know if you are noble or just a Valyrian Bastards, they only know Daemon and Y/N Of Pentos, the Dragon Riders.

End! Aaaa screaming😭❤ thank you! Btw my boy Laenor here is a Bi and his sons are true born sons, ok!

#rhaenyra icons #daemon targaryen #queen rhaenyra #rhaenyra targaryen #the house of the dragon #daemon x rhaenyra #daemon x reader #daemon au #daemon prince #aemond targaryen #house targaryen #princess rhaenys targaryen #targaryensource

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some-pers0n · 1 year

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i watched emesis blue, very good, please ramble about it to me

You watched it??? That's so cool!! I'm so glad I was able to infect you and harass you into watching it by reblogging every single thing even tangentially related to it.

So, for the rambling part. Yeah. I'll probably just say first and foremost that Emesis Blue is probably my favourite thing to come out of this fandom. I can barely even begin to describe my love for this movie. It's something I wish goes down not just in TF2 history, but fandom in general as an example of how great fan content can be. It takes the mercs and throws them into a situation that I can only describe as 'nightmarish'.

That's another thing too. I remember once seeing a person describe the movie as a nightmare. I can't honestly think of a better description. It radiates this nonstop uneasiness and dread. No joke, the entire time I watched it I had this constant feeling of pressure in my chest. Even just thinking about Emesis Blue or the scenes in it brings it back. It's harder to breathe and I'm more alert.

I'm a horror enjoyer. I love horror. I've consumed a lot of horror.

Never has a piece of media created a feeling like that for me. The only thing that comes close is 'The Descent', which uses a similar tactic of darkness and constant dread.

But, if I go on more, I'll dip into spoiler territory. I cannot say it enough that watching this movie blind is the best experience. So, yeah. If by some means you haven't watched Emesis Blue, please do it. I know it's a horror movie and not a lot of people are into those, but I can't stress just how good it is. Please. It's free. You can watch it right now on YouYube.

Also, quick note. I was rewatching the movie while writing this and found your comment. Epic. My thoughts exactly as well.

So, let's start with me admitting something: I have not a single idea as to what's happening. I need a hour long story breakdown of this movie.

But, I can try to piece things together. In order to lay the groundwork. I could be wrong about several things, but this is how I think it goes.

Helix Technologies created the respawn machine. Jules Archibald sold it to both Redmond and Blutarch to play both sides of the war. However, the respawn machine is pretty bad and has the tendency to breakdown and cause the person it resurrects to come out...well, broken.

Scout (Jeremy) was one of these victims. The Medic (Fritz Ludwig) helps him out and around, even prescribing him these pills called 'Valium' (spoiler: they're actually the evil bad pills made by a sister company of Helix Technologies).

Medic is...not doing so hot, might I add. Because of some event, he's been prescribing himself the Valium. Though, he's haunted by hallucinations and whatnot. There's a theory that Medic was the one who killed Scout's mother, linking how the movie on the TV, 'M', is about a German murderer and how the director of the film's first name is 'Frtiz'.

Being honest? I thought from the start that Medic being the killer was a possibility, but refused to believe it if only because I thought it was obvious. M = Medic was my train of thought.

Anywho, something happens to Scout and Medic tosses himself into danger to try and save him.

Meanwhile, Soldier (Jane Doe) and Spy are on a mission to find Archibald since he's been kidnapped. Actually, the ploy was to have Archibald be faked kidnapped so that he wouldn't suffer the consequences from how the respawn machine is terrible, but we don't know that yet. They investigate the crime scene of Scout's mother and are led to Medic's office, where they eventually learn they need to go to the Conaghers.

Blah blah blah, the movie happens. Medic is having a bad time. Soldier meets up with the RED Demo (Cyclops as he's called here) and Spy has a funny little run-in with a Pyro and gets horribly burned in the process of escaping them. They all eventually meet up again after suffering through unprecedented amounts of horrific shit and play a nice round of Russian Roulette. Medic dies. Oh and also Archibald is dead because Spy figured out the ruse behind his plan.

They host a funeral for Archibald and Soldier is about to kill himself and the others with a grenade before Medic pops out and shoots Spy. He then goes on a wacky little killing spree and hops into an ambulance before then falling asleep at the wheel and crashing it, dying in the process.

What a silly story. I love it to bits.

Now with that out of the way, I wanna talk about some stuff that stands out to me.

Soldier's character is probably one of the best versions of him I've seen. He keeps that same 'Soldier TF2' charm to him, but he's brave. He's loyal. He stands by his friends in this hellish situation, never backing down or giving up. I also adore the flashback scene of him. The atmosphere of the war and trenches–

CAN I TALK ABOUT THE ATMOSPHERE TOO?? My GOD it's pristine!! The cinematography and the lighting and everything about it oozes with dread and fear. There are only a couple jumpscares in the movie, but by god I find the constant terror to be far more compelling. It's suffocating with how well its done.

The emotions and expressions too. One scene that's always been in my mind is the elevator scene. We see Medic cycle through his emotions. He's sobbing because Scout is dead and now he's stuck here. Then after being offered a cigarette, he perks up and starts laughing. It's haunting. I remember the chill that ran down my spine the first time I watched that scene. And minutes later with Medic pointing the gun to his head, about to kill himself, before putting it down and lashing out at his reflection.

Medic and his character in Emesis Blue is like my good ol' Medic TF2 blorbo, but in an opposite direction. Emesis Blue Medic is a husk of a man, his very soul and sanity being ripped from him a long while ago. He's not doing so well. I adore every single scene with him. You can see all of his fears and and emotions so clearly.

Have I also mentioned this is animated in SFM? Yeah, THAT nightmare of an animation software? I can't even begin to comprehend the amount of bugs and glitches Fortress Films had to endure. How many times entire scenes were corrupted and they had to restart. Just even knowing how much care and work the team put into this movie makes me respect it so much more. This is truly a work of passion and love for the game and its community, delivering something that's beyond words.

The sound design is another aspect I don't see really talked about. It's really good. Take the scene in Scout's home for example, with the TV playing and the droning from the phone. It's haunting.

It's just an incredible movie. It's why I think psychological horror is the best form of horror. It relies less on big scary monsters with sharp claws and axes being the main source of fear. Rather, it focuses on when those monsters will show up. It grips you with dread and refuses to let go. It never gives you that relief that comes with a jumpscare. The startling, yet comforting release never happens.

Emesis Blue also succeeds in a way that none of the characters make dumb choices. They do everything right, yet they still fail in the end. I feel that makes it more terrifying. When you do everything correctly, but it doesn't work out. It makes the situation all the more helpless. All of this mistakes happen at their own hubris, like with Spy trying to take a break by smoking a cigarette and ends up nearly burning to death.

I also love how it doesn't answer a lot of questions. Leaving the audience with a mystery and the ability to theorize on stuff is lovely. What is the masked figure? Why are there seemingly elements of time distortion? How much is a hallucination and how much of it is real? All those sort of things.

But, yeah. I love Emesis Blue. I love it a lot. It's not just a TF2 animation. It's a genuine horror movie. I've seen multi-million dollar Hollywood movies that pale in comparison to this. It shows that talent and storytelling can come from anywhere and could be simply amazing. The fact that I can watch this on YouTube for free feels off. I feel like I should be paying Fortress Films or giving them something for their work.

But, I guess praise and a couple fanfics is good enough. Very rarely does a work move me enough to actually make fanworks. I get ideas, but never write them down.

So, those are my bigger thoughts on it. I'll just list a couple more.

-I refuse to believe that Scout's name isn't a reference to Jerma985. His name on the report is 'Jeremy. E', like Jeremy Elbertson

-When I was first watching through it, my stupid god-forsaken Science Party-obsessed brain thought: "Ooh! Medic and Engie are together! :D" when Medic came into the Conaghers. Then then they started fighting it turned into: "Oh no, they're going to kill each other D:"

-The scene of Soldier trying to get through the countless corpses of himself feels like something out of a cosmic horror and I love it

-I think this movie made me understand Freedom Fries more

-Cyclops's death ruined me RIP my buddy

-That weird Scout monster thing was terrifying

-I am obsessed with Stalingrad and the other resurrected mercs. They're so cool

-Emesis Blue is a great example as to why 2Fort is a horrific map

-That scene of Medic with gouged-out eyes and chipped teeth smiling and staring at the camera makes my blood run cold every single time. I cannot overstate just how much I love that scene

-They gave Demo a pistol finally I'm so happy <3

-I am a massive sucker for Pyro headcanons where they're justed a fucked up and inhuman monster and Emesis Blue scratched that itch. Following up on that, I love how Pyro's face is the same as that one Half-Life 2 zombie model. You know the one. The one that's of a genuine real burn corpse? Good times

-When Spy got burned, I genuinely thought that he would eventually become the Pyro through some weird time distortion shenanigans. I still believe in that theory too, honestly

-I actually really like how it uses the TF2 characters since you're already familiar with them and my intense love for them makes me care about them a thousand times more

-People who complain about the movie tossing in references have no idea what fun or thematic parallels are

-Medic spitting out his teeth in the end could either be a reference to Scout's nightmare at the beginning or to how Medic's teeth are literally falling out in real time. Maybe both. It could be both

-What in gods name is in that briefcase I need to know

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #emesis blue #I am incredibly normal about this movie #Emesis Blue ruined my life 10/10 would watch every day for the rest of my existence #sp-rambles

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