#i hurt so bad

[chrissy-kaos]

I’m not well.. 😭

#not okay #not even close #pain #i hurt so bad #im hurtin #I wish I was born different #i hate life #I don’t want to be here anymore #I have no reason to #sad girl #sad girls club #help #I’m drowning #trans #transgender #trans pride #transisbeautiful #mtf #transgirl #girlslikeus #mtf hrt #maletofemale #transformation #girls like us #transexual #trans women #trans woman #trans community #trans people #trans positivity

[cripple-council]

mother: stay up until midnight so you can drive me home after a party

me: ok

mother, at 11:20pm: nvm i got a ride

me: ???

#bruh #i’ve stayed up for no reason now #i hurt so bad #dino talks

[p0is0n-is-th3-cur3]

ugh I hate the cold

#I hurt so bad #The cold sucks #Cold is bad

[unrealcorvus]

my heart is a crime scene that has been put to the torch.

#small town life means you cannot avoid the person who broke your heart #heartbreak #you broke my heart #heart ache #i hurt so bad

[worstlovesong]

“I’m gonna go to bed”

Both my ovaries: would you like some debilitating cyst pain in this exact moment?

#BOTH OF THEM??? #FUCK OFF BRO #I hurt so bad #I don’t ever get a fucking break from this shit I’m going to scream #cj.txt #cj’s chronic illness

[sleaterkinnie]

no more hip arthritis all i want in the whole world is to sit in a hot tub 

#I HURT SO BAD

[soapyghost]

So did my soap cosplay on Friday- y’all the photoshoot looks so good oh my god. But- don’t wear tactical gear for long periods of time if you’re not used to it. (Not pictured my bruised ribs and hips)

#soapy thoughts #I hurt so bad #how did this happen #im in spain without the s #im bruised everywhere

[movedlololololol]

RATE MY FIT (BACK BRACE NOT PICTURED)

#I HURT SO BAD

[chrissy-kaos]

Done..

#Spotify #transgender #trans #trans pride #transisbeautiful #transgirl #mtf #mtf hrt #girlslikeus #maletofemale #transformation #actually trans #mtf trans #this is what trans looks like #trans fem #trans feminine #im fucking dying #i hurt so bad #trans community #trans goddess #trans is beautiful #trans is sexy #trans model #trans positivity #mtf positivity #mtf pride #trans women #trans woman #trans women are beautiful #trans love

[pyropansy]

I want a heart shaped lollipop so badly.

#i hurrrrt #i hurt so bad #i want to cry i want to cry i want to cry #i might have dislocated a rib

[btchs-brkn-hrts]

i've always tried to control things

in the end thats what controls me

- NF

#why do i do this to myself #i miss you #sad quotes #poem #lyrics #NF #poetry #i hate you #i hurt so bad #why do i even bother

[jadedghoul]

I stubbed my toe on the huge thing of water bottles. Today I will commit acts of terrorism in this state

#i hurt so bad

[kirbyddd]

i need help

#i hurt so bad

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[sunfoxfic]

We were so close to smoking not being cool anymore. We were so close. Then they flavored it mango and now it's taboo to criticize it anymore. People don't ask if they're allowed to vape indoors, they aren't considerate of people who may have health problems that are triggered by the chemicals or if it just bothers them, people don't care that they're supporting an industry built on corruption and greed, they can't see it draining their pockets and much less their health. We were so close to smoking not being cool anymore.

#i hate hate HATE nicotine after watching my parents smoke when i grew up #its gross and bad for your money and bad for your health #and i get it. theres SO MANY socioeconomic factors that make it a complicated issue. #you CANT blame smokers. #but it feels like people are just accepting the institution for what it is bc now it tastes good #bitch just chew gum jfc #it doesn't matter if its an industry issue. we have seen in the past that making it “uncool” hurts the industry #make nicotine uncool again PLEASE #grumbles

[where-nothing-is-tagged]

I've been trying to crack my back all weekend and i finally did it and it was not enough i need more

#i hurt so bad