#i just started crying again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

catastrxblues · 4 months

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good morning it is now 4 am and i have just finished watching atonement good night

#atonement #next tags are just going to be personal rants ignore that #i couldn’t sleep at all so i tried reading s&b and then fanfics and then the bell jar but it just didn’t hit #so then i tried writing but i just kept crying so i thought i’d watch a romance movie because yes #should’ve gone for four weddings and a funeral or pride and prejudice because what the hell is this #i didn’t know anything about this movie i just remember having it on my watchlist and saw ONE clip so i picked that help #and yes i ended up crying and the tears are still here but i’m also starting to think that that’s not entirely because of the movie at all #i stripped my bed off its sheets because the bright color annoyed me and it was already peeling off anyway and i was too lazy to put it rig #and when i pulled back from the screen after the movie finished and just look at how bare my bed is and how i’m in the middle of them #i just started crying again #and my legs are aching and i hate myself and i think i want to take a shower but maybe i’ll wait later on #i don’t think i’ll sleep at all honestly i’m not sleepy anymore #besides i’m thinking of going outside today just at the park i don’t know doing something #i always sleep really really late lately because my parents are out of country right now and no one is keeping me checked and i apparently #still can’t take care of myself. cried about that too it was something. why am the eldest daughter i’m so not fit for it #and then i always wake up at like 9 am and it’s already too late by then that i just never do anything productive #and it’s like i’ve been living in a simulation and i’m kinda going crazy and insane but it’s okay because today is going to be better #i hope because i’m not getting any sleep and i can finally go outside at 7 in the morning instead when it’s already way too hot #damn this is supposed to be one of the best years of my life??????? fuck off #also i can hear the azan subuh from the mosque by the neighborhood and i miss praying honestly #it’s so funny because i was happy to get my period because that meant i wouldn’t have to wake up so very early on in the morning #but i miss it now #hopefully my period will end soon #nadirants

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months

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I want you whipped into shape!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #better drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #yu ziyuan #wang lingjiao #wen zhuliu #'When I say jump - say “how high'”? You know you're doing it right when you start to cry!“#Of course I can't resist the Legally blonde reference. This is the Elle Woods is canon in PD-MDZS blog #I love this scene so much. There are a lot of things to say about it and I would go over the limit if I indulged.#Suffice it to say the main takeaway *here* is that I think YZY is milfboss of the millennia.#I intended for this to be posted on international women's day but my ambition led me to keep trying to make it better.#And by better I mean I spent several days (re)drawing this one and that is **not** what poorly-drawn-mdzs is supposed to be about.#I will be making the next few comics worse to compensate <3 At the very least I will honour my time and tag it as 'better drawn'#('my time' spent hunched over my desk while I chant 'this concept is *not* above my skill level!' over and over again)#Funny story about PD!Wen Zhuliu; he was supposed to show up sooner but I kept accidently cutting the comics he would have been in.#So I like to think he just went on a long coffee run. 'Go get me an (insert coffee chain) pink drink' said Wen Chao.#'He never said from which location' said Wen Zhuliu as he proceeded to walk 100km to the farthest cafe he could find.

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clowningaroundmars · 1 month

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page full o' hobies 🎸

top pose inspired by @spectra-bear

process pics under da cut ↓

#mine #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #hobie brown #spider punk #well YEEHAW im finally finished with this #after 3 trips to the craft and dollar store to buy stuff i needed #this page is FINALLY done good lord #its been... 3 weeks? since i 1st started this?#needless to say im sick of looking at this thing #im simultaneously kinda scared to post this bc im not 100% happy with it #but at the same time im like… so ready to just post this thang and be DONE with it #never lookin at this again jfc im sick of it #i love hobie dont get me wrong and i love drawing his face #but geeze louise #me doodling this while crying: hobie hates consistency hobie hates consistency hobie hates consistency hobie hATES CONSISTENCY 😭😭😭#thats my excuse for not really uhhh getting his face down 100%#also god yeah i didnt get his skin nearly as dark as i wanted cuz uhhhh #ya boi was workin with shitty dollar store crayons #im ngl i kinda.... miss my alcohol markers :/ but whatever ig i did what i could lol

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the-holy-ghosted · 7 months

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congrats 2 henry peglar for being the only bitch confirmed as to be Fucking That Old Man

#the heron giveth #the terror #alright here come the funny tags #bridglar #briglar #people spell it both ways i think. ill do both hujst to be safe #henry peglar #john bridgens #uh um um. uh #peglar x bridgens #THIS FEELS WEIRD. TO TYPE #bridgens x peglar #alright im done good GRIEF #this isnt even that extreme compared to the shit people are putting on ao3 about these two. god.#anyways hi ive watched this show maybe 7 or 8 times? only just recently have i gotten hooked on them #the scripts make me go nuts too. ''they were lovers in their pasts'' shut the fuck up dont say that to me ill start crying #this is the most risque thing i have ever posted on here #getting out of the fandom game for a while rewired my brain i have to get weird again. and boy do they make me feel weird !#i have a number of terror mutuals who r gonna go nuts over this. fuck yes a little bowl of seeds for me style #this looks blurry posting it hopefully tumblr doesnt crunch the shit out of the quality anyways im done typing goodbye

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pastebunny · 7 months

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edyn my beloved

#if I think about her too hard I start crying she makes me insane #also CRAYONS AND HIGHLIGHERS STRIKE AGAIN‼️‼️‼️#jrwi #jrwi riptide #just roll with it #jrwi fanart #edyn tidestrider #dnd #dungeons & dragons #pastedraw.png

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baby-xemnas · 7 months

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NURSE BEPO CHAN NURSE BEPO CHAN

#bepo one piece #one piece #MY BEARLOVED #LOOK AT HIS CONCENTRATED LITTLE FACE #THANKS TOEI VERY NICE #i love that manga has just bepo clinging while anime was like no no hes treating him its not gay #hehehehehehehheeheehehhe #ehheHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE #both both is good im very glad #because it means bepo did the rest of his bandages too :)#penshachi know better to not stand between bepo and law #or bepo will start crying again #he needs this #law being so patient #aaaa #one piece anime spoilers #op anime spoilers

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teaboot · 8 months

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Can I ask about the « there is a lobster somewhere »? What happened??

Some teenage boys were seen removing a lobster from a tank. Then seen walking around with it. Then walking around without the lobster. Then leaving the property without the lobster

Possibilities included:

Put lobster back (not seen)

Put lobster in backpack (not seen)

Put lobster somewhere 'funny' (possible)

Sad lobster skittering around under a shelf somewhere

I was able to find the lobster in a different tank in the seafood department, and upon the owner's deliberation over whether the lobster was still safe for consumption or if it was now inedible and as such to be 'disposed of', offered to purchase it, if only to spare a living critter the potential indignity of being thrown into a trash compactor, alive OR dead, after all the trouble of being removed from the ocean in the first place.

I don't know what my plan was. I didn't have an aquarium and was not prepared for an immortal pet OR lobstercide, and like. Releasing it into the ocean didn't seem environmentally sound, either.

In the end, it was determined that it was likely still fit for human consumption and moved to a quarantine tank.

Not sure how I feel about that. I grew admittedly a bit too attached a bit too fast

#I actually started crying when they said they might have to toss it #You can't just put a CREATURE in the GARBAGE #AND IT DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING WRONG #I can handle death for consumption but for no reason???#Okay I'm crying again #Fuck

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saetoru · 7 months

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something about the idea of gojo dying hurts more than like…any other character death / potential character death i’ve ever encountered because there’s always so much hope centered around him. like everyone’s always just been assured that he’s the strongest that you’re just like. well. this was supposed to be the one that definitely made it out :,)

#i can’t sleep i got all sad again and #started crying bc like #just when is there a single moment for him to just #have his moment 🥲#he’s always losing when it counts #gege u fucking abysmal individual #i literally cannot fathom hating ur own character this much #jjk leaks #jjk 236

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milimeters-morales · 9 months

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top ten reasons to live: this !!!!!

#BIG BROTHER/SISTER OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD MOMENT ‼️‼️‼️#once i have enough space in my mind to redraw this it’s OVER for you #literally sobbing crying he may not be good with like baby babies but toddler babies? so older brother…. it’s almost as if… he’s gonna be-#(taken out back and shot like a horse)#please this is so adorable i’m gonna DIE. bro how did pavitr not fall in ANY sort of love here is beyond me bruh.#unless…. (the aro flag starts becoming more visible over a low quality jpeg of pavitr)#but no seriously i would hand my life over. my soul.#miles is just such a sweet and caring guy like omg. he’s literally LOVE ITSELF.#miles morales #spiderman #spider man #across the spiderverse #across the spider verse #atsv #spiderman atsv #m&m posts #reblogs on again

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sweetingtea · 9 months

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My first day of college is tomorrow and I am a stressed up baby :’)

So, to ease my troubles (and hopefully yours! If y’all have any…), I present to you:

✨Ambrosius admiring his loved one every chance he can fucking get✨

Like, okay dude, we get it, you’re down bad 🙄

My man, Ambrosius, physically and visually can not keep himself away from Ballister.

It makes me want to 🫠🫠🫠🫠

When will it be my turn for someone to look at me like I’m the answer to every mystery in the universe???

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the-crimson · 2 months

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I’m finally coming down from the high of bbh’s stream and it’s got me thinking about fatherhood and cycles.

Bbh’s Father (god) disowned him and cast him from home for some unknown sin. His love was conditional on obedience and submission with the cruelest of punishments for those who didn’t fit the mold.

For thousands of years bbh has been alone in his yearning for Home. He embraces himself, the qualities that his Father shunned, because what else can he do? He tried to please his Father and it wasn’t enough, it was never enough. I can’t help but wonder if embracing the qualities his Father hated was both a form of self actualization and self harm - pushing himself further and further from home just by choosing himself.

Then from nowhere the most unexpected thing occurred. Bbh himself became a father. A small little egg with a top hat rolled into his life and everything changed. He gave that little egg everything, anything they could ask. He didn’t always understand Dapper’s quirks, her need to capture every animal they stumbled across, her vast knowledge of machines and industry, but bbh always supported him and gave him anything he needed to explore his hobbies.

Bbh’s love for Dapper - and the rest of the kids - is unconditional. There is nothing the kids could do that would ever cause bbh to turn his back on them. Do you ever think he lays awake at night wondering how his Father could have cast him aside? Do you ever think he considered the lengths he’d go to for his children and wondered why his own Father never did the same? Do you think he wondered if his Father would scold him for the free rein he gave Dapper? Do you think in the first days he had Dapper that he vowed while watching his baby sleep that things would be different? That he wouldn’t be like his Father? Or do you think the realization came slower over time? He would never put them thought what his Father put him through - bbh would never abandon them like He did. He loved his kids so much it literally killed him.

Then, after all of this, after bbh had built a life for himself, found a family for himself, his Father opens the doors for him to come home. The cruelest thing He could possibly do. “My happiness… you’ve cut it in half” cried out in a broken voice. Again, bbh’s Father showed him how He loves: through control. You can come home but only on my terms. Only if you cut out a part of yourself - the part of yourself that gives you purpose. The part of yourself that ties you to something other than me. And thus bbh is faced with the choice: continue the cycle of abandonment or break it and return to his kids to be the father he never had.

He chooses his kids.

He will never be his Father.

He will always choose his kids.

#qsmp #badboyhalo #crimson speaks #bbh got me emotional in the club #he had no right pulling the dapper run to the entrance #but that’s for another essay #I need more time to process that or I’ll just start crying again

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midnightkolrath · 3 months

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Dante and Vergil using each other's weapons in DMC3 and DMC4 is a really good showcase on how often the twins trained together and practically know each other's weapons and fighting styles.

Like...I think about this often. Its both touching and tragic that they know each other well in that respect but not so much these days in others due to being out of touch with each other for so long.

Dante even mimics Vergil when he pulls out Yamato in 4 and its like...damn. Makes me think about how much Dante loved bugging Vergil to spar as kids.

Like....not just because Dante loved to fight with his big brother, but because he looked up to him in a way. Despite the differences they've had, there's always been that respect as siblings. Vergil loved fighting him too, despite the annoyances.

Its just a fact he keeps smothered deep down, but the climax of VoV has him fully embrace it. Makes the ending of them sparring together in 5 all the more wholesome, imo.

Well....as wholesome as you can get with those two, LMAO.

#devil may cry #leo's dmc analysis #this started out as me just wanting to make GIFs of that scene from 3 #but here I am again lmao

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uncanny-tranny · 6 months

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I went to a local yarn store for the first time, and while I was there, somebody was talking about getting a beginner's knitting kit, and she inquired about when lessons were, and when she was told that they'd be happy to sit down with her and teach her, she was so delighted. She talked about how excited she was and how much she wanted to learn to knit, and it just... it made me fall in love with humanity. It was this pure, unadulterated happiness coming from somebody and it was so genuine and kind, and I couldn't help but smile.

I guess all of this is to say... every moment, there are tiny little joys like this all over the world, and it makes this life worth living. I hope you witness and feel joy this simple, this pure.

#positivity #and she was older too! it made me really happy because it just reminds me that there is no such thing as 'too old'#you will never be too old to learn something - to feel that level of happiness and excitement #if i think about this too hard i'm going to start crying #and the yarn store has this really hip name and all the patrons there were older women and i thought that was cute and funny #i felt so odd being the only young person there though but i know that's just my own insecurity and not how they'd feel #i find older people absolutely LOVE when young people share their interests. i think old people get... used to feeling out of touch...#...and almost... neglected in a way by younger adults. it's hard to describe but i sense some loneliness in some old people y'know?#and when i share their interests... maybe it's like they feel young again - seen by somebody else?#that's my assumption anyway. but i like being around old people - they can absolutely be kind and gentle and i appreciate it

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lupismaris · 1 year

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It is something devastating and truly divine to walk through a gallery of christian art only to be faced with the first trans masc body I've ever seen on the wall of an art museum