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#i know you tagged me ages ago so i won't tag anyone

crackinthecup · 5 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @elevenelvenswords - thank you so much, friend <3 (and apologies for taking forever to get round to this!)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

49 in total.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

456,188 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly Silmarillion. I have dabbled in Star Wars and Dark Souls too, plus a D.Gray-man fic I wrote for a friend purely based on what she told me about the characters as I've never read the manga or watched the anime.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

My top one is Yield to the Moment, which is completely fair enough as it's a beast of a fic and by far the longest multi-chapter I've ever written. The next two are Strange New World and A bond once called fealty, part of my Swords series looking at Melkor and Mairon post-Dagor Dagorath. Then we've got The Metal Cage which is pure PWP (chastity play/CBT) and I am very glad people are having fun with it. And fifth is A quiet sort of introspection, a Melkor-centric character study also set in the Swords 'verse.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yep! I think it's only fair to reply to people if they've taken the time to share their thoughts about something I've written. Plus it can turn into a really fun thinking space to play around with ideas about characters!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ohhh I have to think about this one. I don't know if I tend to write particularly angsty endings? Maybe High and Higher? Which is a Fallen Banners ficlet set in Gondolin after Maeglin's return from Angband where he feels like he doesn't quite fit into his life anymore.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Yield to the Moment, probably! The wedding felt like a happy culmination of all the work they'd been putting into themselves and each other.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

It's happened a few times, yeah. But generally people seem to take a "ship and let ship" stance to fandom.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Quite a lot of smut haha. Honestly I'd describe my particular brand of smut as a thinly veiled excuse for a psychological study of the characters.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Haven't written any crossovers yet.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, thankfully.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A couple, yeah, back in 2015-ish when I first started writing for the Silm fandom. Sadly I took down all those old fics at a time when my mental health wasn't amazing (wish I hadn't), and I'm not sure if the translations still exist anywhere.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

YTTM started out as a co-written project.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Will have to go with Angbang here. They just seem to speak to a deep deep part of my psyche.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I've got a very rough WIP about Mairon bonding with Tar-Míriel in Númenor that I don't feel super engaged with anymore.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Characterisation, I hope! I've always been drawn to writing as a way to explore what makes characters tick, why they do the things they do. I also really enjoy coming up with fun ways to describe things.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Everything can always be improved, I suppose! At the moment I think I'm mindful that I find it difficult sometimes to end fics in ways that feel punchy or memorable.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Totally on board with it when used thoughtfully as a plot device or a way to add depth to characters.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Oh goodness, I think it was Harry Potter back when I was 13 or 14. Those fics will not be seeing the light of day haha.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Hmm I don't actually like reading my own stuff very much. It's a bit of a struggle to switch off the perfectionism. That said, YTTM has a special place in my heart. It took a lot of time, a lot of thought, and sometimes a lot of effort, and while I'm not 100% happy with it, I am glad that I got it over the finish line and that I had a chance to tell a story I really wanted to tell.

#meme things #crackinthecup's writing #thank you so much again for the tag :3 #i know you tagged me ages ago so i won't tag anyone #but if this meme takes anyone's fancy please do go ahead and do it

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phantomrose96 · 1 year

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I've mentioned this thing in tags before but I've decided fuck it, it should be its own post.

I've seen this sentiment lumped into Eat the Rich posts which goes like "if you're worth more than $1 million I think you should die" and I think tumblr users need to know this is not the Eat the Rich statement they think it is.

Someone being worth $1 million doesn't mean what you think it means.

A 71-year-old widow who bought a single-family 2,000 sqft home in Somerville Massachusetts with her husband 40 years ago to raise their family in, who now lives in this home all alone because her children are grown and her husband is dead, is--without a shadow of a doubt--worth more than $1 million. Maybe even $1.5 or $2 million. And it's because of her home equity, because that's what single family homes go for these days in that area.

The 71-year-old widow may be living pension check to pension check, because her millionaire status can only be dipped into if she's removed from her home and sells it. And if it's the home she's loved for 40 years, where she simply wants to live out the rest of her time peacefully in, I wouldn't put her to the guillotine for that.

Maybe that comes off as an extreme example, like that's just an outlier of the "we hate millionaires" agenda. But I don't think it truly is. I'll scale back and tell you the median U.S. home price right now is about $430,000. And that's just median. Half of them are more expensive than that.

The statement "I think people should be able to afford to buy and own the homes they live in" is, I would desperately hope, not a radical statement to anyone on Tumblr. I think that's a pretty well-received idea. So someone who's done that, who's bought their home and worked many years to pay off the mortgage and now owns it fully, is worth close to half a million dollars on average. Many of them more than that, as many areas rapidly gentrify and drive up housing worth.

Statement 2: "I think people deserve to have a retirement fund which would comfortably support them through end of life." Too radical for anyone? I hope not. And I won't pretend to be an expert on how much retirement money is ideal. I'm sure it varies with cost of living in places. But considering this is money which, ideally, should support someone for the remaining 10-20 years of life (money which may be necessary to cover the absolutely crippling medical costs of end-of-life treatment) I'd bet it's well into the many hundreds of thousands. Even if someone was simply living off $30k/year of take home money and just making that work, then 15 years of retirement, costing $30k/year, plus maybe $50k+ of end-of-life medical costs... That's at least $500k.

Which is all to say, if you show me someone approaching retirement age who's "worth" $1 million dollars, my hope would be that their house is paid off and their retirement fund is comfortable. I'd be happy for them. I would want this for them.

Even that may not be true, though. Someone "worth" $1 million maybe owns a paid-off house which has rapidly appreciated to being worth $900k, and their $100k in retirement is something they're trying to stretch through end of life. Maybe someone worth $1 million owns a house which has ballooned to $1.1 million, and they're in fact $100k in debt.

And the fact that SO many Americans will never even meet this bar is significantly more appalling to me than the existence of people worth more than $1 million. "I own my home and can retire comfortably" is a bar we want every American to meet. I want more millionaires who are millionaires because they meet these criteria.

If Nana Somerville's house burns down tomorrow, she'll have lost everything. If a billionaire were to similarly lose $1 million of worth, he would not feel it. That's a fickle day at the stock market. That's Tuesday. That's the rich which desperately needs to be eaten.

#chrissy speaks #awaiting the callout 'phantomrose defends millionaires'

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prettyboykatsuki · 1 year

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WON'T YOU LEND ME YOUR FAITH? | R. ITOSHI

❁ tags ; fem!reader (reader dresses femininely + is referred to as a girl / with she/her pronouns), reader is shorter than rin , strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, getting together, rin is soo teenage boy (and makes some annoying teen-boy comments), slow-burn, making out is as suggestive as this gets, stereotypical shoujo romance, usage of honorifics, coming of age

❁ wc ; 21.4k (insane. most insane thing ive ever seen)

❁ a/n ; i'm genuinely appalled by the length of this fic. how did that happen. what in the world. this fic is truly just. every single shoujou manga trope crammed into one okay. my silly little self indulgent romance !!!!

also this fic is sfw + takes place in their third of hs so im not gonna say mdni that's silly. however if you're a minor please do not follow me i post heinous dark content and this fic is a fluke in the timeline dskffjkfd

❁ synopsis ; the love story of a sensitive, stoic soccer player and an eccentric wannabe journalist

or that time you confess to itoshi rin, knowing he'll reject you, and asking to befriend him in spite of it.

“I like you,”

A breeze of wind passes.

“What?”

You confess to Itoshi Rin at the start of the Spring semester. On the school rooftop with your head down. Bent at a near ninety degrees as you hold out what looks like a love letter.

For a minute, he can’t do anything more than stare. He’s received countless confessions in highschool. Half of which he rejected immediately, not even stopping to hear the full extent of their feelings. Why would he? The lukewarm ideas of first love had never been of interest. Even before his fight with Sae, Rin was always focused on his goals.

After his second year of high school was spent in Bluelock, Rin has only returned for his third. He promised his parents he’d graduate properly, and Bluelock was off-season until Ego could fully prepare for the next stages.

And a lot has changed since then. But some parts of him, namely his feelings towards the idea of conventional relationships, haven't changed at all.

It’s only been a little less than three weeks since school had started, and by now he’s received more confessions than he can really remember. All of which he’s rejected coldly, and blankly, because Itoshi Rin has never been in the business of coddling anyone. Most of those girls he’s never even met. Knows nothing about them because they’re first or second years he’d never even spoken to.

Rin, however, does know you. You’ve been in his class in all 3 years of his highschool, and he’s seen you around more than once. You’re in the newspaper club, which he remembers because you covered their winning match back when Rin was a first year. He wouldn’t call you friends, but you’ve spoken to each other enough that he can remember your name with a little effort.

He also remembers you being sort of annoying. You’re one of those loud and earnest types that he can’t stand.

A year ago, Rin would’ve denied knowing you at all. But now that things with Sae have cleared up just a little - he’s not inclined to take his anger out on you. He knows you. Not well, but enough.

And if his reputation precedes him at all, then you know Rin too. You know that he’s never once gone out with a single girl in his 3 years of highschool and that most of the guys in all three grades consider him an arrogant jerk. You know that he mostly plays soccer alone during breaks and that he only really hangs out with one person.

Which means you must know that he doesn’t harbor any feelings for you. And that he’s going to reject your confession without thinking twice about it.

In the first place, he was just curious if you were stupid enough to do it. If you really called him up here for a roof-top confession. The fact that you were is what’s stifling him. Your words are familiar. He’s heard them so many times. But it’s baffling. It’s ridiculous.

You lift your head to face him. You’re still smiling, though there’s something more there that he can’t understand. He doesn’t do well with people like you begin with. He finds himself backing away when you jog up closer towards him.

He’s taller than you, he notices. You pick your head up to look at him and smile, toothy and at ease. You hold the letter up again and shove it towards him, though you don’t seem like you’re expecting him to take it. He stares at you.

“I like you,” You repeat, smooth and bubbly. He frowns.

“I don’t like you.”

He has expectations for this part. Normally he receives a saddened look like a dog whose tail he stepped on or a fit of crying (sometimes genuine, sometimes with the intent of guilt.) Sometimes he gets an awkward smile trying to seem unbothered by the whole situation.

You don’t falter though. You don’t even flinch at the words, cold as ice and steely. It throws him off.

“I know,” You say back, prying the letter away from him. You turn the other way, walking towards the metal grates and for a minute Rin wonders if you’re going to do something drastic. You don’t though, instead sticking your the paper in the air “That’s why I have a proposal,”

He stares, absolutely dumbfounded. You turn again towards him.

“I want to get to know you. And keep confessing to you,” You say first, and Rin immediately goes to reject you until you put your hands up “And I want you to keep rejecting me.”

He’s baffled. Really.

“What?”

“So I can gradually lose my feelings for you. Nothing that different on your end, honestly..”

It sounds annoying. It really does. If it were anyone else, under any other circumstance he would scoff and tell them to deal with their own shitty feelings alone just like everyone else. But there’s no hidden intention there. Rin’s always been good at sniffing that out. Your words are pure as can be.

Frustratingly simple and twice as sincere, no matter how confusing the whole thing is.

“Why should I?”

“We can be friends,” You reply like it’s the best deal he could ask for. “Isn’t that enough? Not like you really have any right now.”

He scoffs bitterly albeit he can’t counter you.

“Friendship is lukewarm. I don’t care about any of that stuff,”

“Lukewarm? Really? Then..think of it like I’ll be your shield. You hate when people socialize with you right? I’ll help you deal with it.”

That doesn’t sound too bad actually. On top of that, he’s kind of curious what your deal is. He rolls his eyes at you, turning to face the other way.

“Do whatever you want. It’s not like it matters.”

His response makes you beam. He hears you shout from the otherside of the yard, followed by the sound of your footsteps noisily thudding against the concrete as you try to catch up with him. He walks faster than you just to spite you for earlier, but he hears your last words through a huff of breath.

“Jeez, you’re fast. I’ll see you at lunch, be prepared!”

Somehow, he feels like he’s crossed paths with something he shouldn’t’ve.

You keep up with your end of the deal with Rin to the best of your ability.

The upsides of your arrangement is that the usual annoyances Rin has to deal with have decreased significantly in the time you’ve been hanging around him. You’re very good at using your speech to sway conversations one way or the other without upsetting the other party.

Normally, Rin’s rejections for different things leave a bitter taste in the air. He’s never been good at mincing his words for anyone and while it doesn’t affect him - the strange stares and whispers he gets are a little annoying to deal with. People always take his disinterest personally. Rin has always hated that. He was probably a little gentler about the denial before but still.

While other people are too stupid to pay it any mind, you’re clever at turning the tides your way. You always manage to completely divert their questions without making them feel uncomfortable. Rin has tried, many times, to actually break down how you’re doing it. He doesn’t think he’d ever be able to replicate it, no matter how much he studies you.

He’s reluctant to admit it, but really, your presence has significantly lowered the number of obstacles in his daily life and made him overall, less irritable.

Instead of many annoying things, there’s only you. Which is tolerable in comparison.

You also expect him to uphold his end of the deal. For the most part, this has just meant you inserting yourself into his usual activities. It started out small enough, mostly just you sitting with him during lunch. It draws too much attention to eat in the classroom so you both fuck off to the roof.

(You often joke about how romantic it is, reminiscing on your rejected first love with as much melodrama as you can muster.

Rin never laughs about it to your face, but he admits it’s funny. Your stupidity is mildly amusing, at least )

There, you eat lunch together. Rin learns you make yourself colorful bentos from time to time- though some days are much less elaborate than others. You like to unwind that way, your designated and nightly me-time. You work part-time, and you take care of your neighbors kids by helping them every morning and night.

Rin doesn’t ask you for more, not willing to deliberately show interest.

But you notice his curiosity for better or for worse and explain that she, the woman next door, used to make you dinner back when your parents were too busy. You have an older brother who's nearly twelve years your senior so you were alone for most of your childhood. She had children late, but they feel like your little siblings. So you help them in the mornings and in the evenings when you have time.

Rin learns you, funnily enough, have a sense of obligation towards other people that he can’t fully comprehend. He forgot there were people like that. In an environment like Bluelock that is so dead set on fostering ego, it’s easy to forget something so simple.

You haven’t confessed to him again since that time. Not like he’s expecting it, but given your personality he wonders why. He thought it’d be more of a daily occurence, something like a bit you did. But you never do. Even when at times, it’s so heavy in the atmosphere even he can tell you want too.

Admittedly, Rin wonders a lot more about you than he cares to. He wonders why you spend so much time with him when you have plenty of other friends who seem to cherish you. He wonders why you care so much about the dying club you're in. He wonders if this, in some strange way, stems from some kind of obligation.

He wonders, sometimes, what about him you could even like. It’s probably something stupid. You’d probably think long and hard before going on to say that you like him because he’s handsome or cool. Something shallow and meaningless.

He tells himself that when he starts thinking about it again.

Rin gets roped into cleaning the classroom with you.

He’s used to being paired with other people. But he’s never had to do with you before, even in the years prior. Or maybe he did. He doesn’t recall much of his first year.

Still, now that it’s already mid-May, Rin has never been on cleaning duty with you. He’s conscious of the sound of your name these days. It’s not something he’s happy about.

It’s a simple affair. Just 15 or 20 minutes. Nothing to talk about. Not really.

But, today you’re alone with him. Alone in an empty classroom with light pouring through the windows and reflecting off of the wooden desks. You’re busying yourself with wiping down the chalkboard, humming quietly. Rin has the broom and dust pan, slowly working himself towards the front of the room.

It’s mostly quiet. Just your humming. The soft thud of a dust pan, a gentle brush of the bristle.

Rin feels a crick in his neck, half-way done with the task at hand. He stares at you, off in the front. In your own little world as you fix everything up diligently without turning your head to look up at him even once.

The nape of your neck is visible from the way you’re standing. There’s a chain there. Do you wear a necklace under your uniform? He can see the slope of your shoulders. The light reflects on you.

It stops him dead in his tracks. All he can hear is the quiet. The soft humming of your voice. The thud of the dust pan, the woosh of an eraser. The gentle bristle of a broom. The sound of his own heartbeat, a little louder than it was a minute ago.

He shakes his head. He goes back to sweeping.

“Why do you look like that?”

You look depressed. For Rin, this expression on you is unusual. You do look sad sometimes. Somber, occasionally but the look you have on your face right now is down right harrowing. You’re staring blankly out into the open, sitting in the usual spot the two of you have lunch at. But you’ve hardly touched your food and your favorite juicebox (a lunchtime staple) doesn’t have a straw in it yet.

It’s freaking him out, quite frankly. He stares at you, waving a hand in front of your face until you click back into reality. You jump in your skin at the sight of him before taking a deep breath once you’ve realized who’s in front of you.

“Oh. It’s just you. Sorry,” You say, immediately going for your juice. See? “What did you say?”

He sighs, sitting down next to you with his own lunch. Nothing special, something his mom likes to pack when he’s at home - though he doesn’t often take it. He opens up his own tin, taking chopsticks out attached from the top.

“I asked why you looked like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like someone just died.”

You look at him morbidly, clasping your hands and leaning forward with your elbows on your knees.

“My midterm grades,” You say solemnly, voice wavering ever so slightly “They’re detestable. A shame to my bloodline.”

Rin looks at you plainly.

“Aren’t you an idiot to begin with?”

“Hey! I’ll have you know I’m average. Super average. But I scored even lower than usual and I’m concerned. I need to do well on the next one and on my entrance exams.”

Oh, right. Rin forgot since he has no plans to take any.

“Do you know what you want to do for college?” He asks, mostly out of obligation.

“I want to study journalism.” There’s a wispiness to your way of speaking. It gives the air a sentimental feel. “There’s a private university with a good program I want to get into but they’re kind of tough. So I have to focus and do well,”

“What subject are you struggling with?”

You deflate all over again.

“Chemistry and Classical Japanese,”

Rin does well in both subjects. He thinks it over, and decides he can consider this payback. That’s all it is. He’s never liked owing people for favors and while you say this much is enough - Rin can rest assured about your little deal if he’s actually been of use to you in return. He remains impassive as he takes a sip of water.

“Do you want me to help you study?”

You turn to him immediately, suddenly full of life. He doesn’t like the gleam in your eyes, an immediate regret settling in as he stares at you, eyes full of disdain. You don’t hesitate grabbing his hand, putting it to your forehead and bowing deeply as you face him. You’re like a fly that keeps buzzing around him.

“Are you serious? Really? Forreal? Do you mean it?”

“If you keep being a dipshit I’m going to take it back,”

You pull away, hands folded in your lap, going stone faced.

“I would be very grateful,” You say, hands clasped in front of your face. He rolls his eyes.

“Don’t get the wrong idea,” He says bluntly, staring out into space “I just don’t want to owe you any favors.”

This you laugh at, leaning back on the wall behind you - with your legs stretched out.

“Don’t worry,” You reply, self-assured. “Somehow, you asking me to study with you so innocently really cements it in that you don’t have a shred of affection for me.”

Something in him stirs. He ignores it.

“Never in a million years.”

You laugh light-heartedly.

“You’re so cold to me, Itoshi-kun.”

“You still call me that.” He grimaces. You stare at him confused.

“How else would I call you?”

“When you use my last name it reminds me of my brother,”

“...Are you implying I should use your first name?”

Oh. Shit. That is what he sort of said, isn’t it?

“No,” He denies, somehow unable to come up with anything worthwhile “Don’t address me at all.”

“Eh? But that’s impossible? I can try but,”

Only an idiot like you would think to actually try. He shakes his head. It’s no good after all.

“Shut up,” He decides, because there’s not anything else he can think to say “We can study at the library.”

You’re quick to reject the proposal.

“We have to pick somewhere else. Like a cafe or something,” You say, not looking at him. You have your phone pulled up now, looking for places nearby. He’s lost again.

“What? Why? Isn’t it easier if it’s at school?”

You glance over at him wide-eyed, before suddenly smiling. It’s a knowing smile, almost like you feel sorry for him. He wants to ask why you look like that. It’s weirdly guarded and he hates that from you. He stares at you, trying to will you to explain yourself. You’re good at reading his thoughts, frustratingly enough, so he’s not accustomed to asking.

Which means your lack of answer is deliberate, and even with the pressure he’s putting on you, you don’t budge.

“Trust me on this one,” You voice light and airy. “It’s better if we find somewhere away from school, too. There’s still some time to look, so no rush.”

He lets it go because he doesn’t have any other choice. Lunch passes and you talk like everything's normal.

The question lingers in the back of his mind.

Rin spends most of his time between classes watching soccer. If he has some free time on his day off, he’ll look for a new movie to watch. There’s a new foreign film coming out from a director who he really likes and he’s just finished watching the trailer.

Thirsty, with nothing to do - he stands to his feet and briefly surveys the classroom. He wants a drink and there’s a vending machine down the hallway with a sports drink that tastes like..something.

His airpods are close to being dead so there’s no music as he makes his way. He’s not a fan of being forced to listen to the chatter of the general populace so it’s not that hard to ignore.

It catches his attention when he hears your name in passing before turning the corner of the hall. It stops him dead in his tracks, something tense left in the syllables after . He doesn’t know why he stopped, not exactly. He figured it’d be annoying if his presence caused a ruckus.

He’s used to people talking about you, though they usually describe you as a busybody. The Senpai who’s everywhere. A hand in every jar, or something like that. But there’s a tone to that, mild amusement - never malice, that Rin is more than accustomed to.

This is not that, he notices. He leans on the wall and listens. A group of girls. Some of the voices he recognizes. They’re from the third year classroom down the hall.

“It’s like, I don’t know,” Eto-san, he thinks. She’s come up to him before, more times than he can really count on one hand. Rin knows the type. Kind but not really. To the point it’s hard for anyone to call her out on it. “It’s weird how much she hangs around him. She’s not a bad girl or anything,”

The addition makes Rin’s eye twitch. Yeah. He’s very familiar with this type. He keeps listening. Another voice, but he has no idea who this one is.

“Really? But Senpai is pretty kind to me,”

“Mm, I guess so. I just wonder if it makes Itoshi-kun uncomfortable, you know? With pushy people like that, it doesn’t matter how blunt you are. I just worry about him a bit.”

If it wasn’t so annoying to listen in, Rin would laugh. He’s never understood girls. Especially not highschool ones. He doesn’t pay attention to that kind of social hierarchical shit to begin with, only forced to acknowledge it because other people do. None of it matters to him.

He does think back to what you said a week ago, about finding a place away from school to study. It clicks. You probably know they talk about you like this. Or you could surmise this outcome. Rin should expect that level of awareness from you. Sincere. Always attuned to everyone. Of course this is something you know but he doesn’t.

Why didn’t you tell him? That’s annoying. It’s nothing he couldn’t deal with knowing. He would’ve got it if you explained it earlier.

“Oh wow, you really care about him Eto-san,”

There’s a soft chuckle that makes Rin annoyed. Is he supposed to feel grateful? They’ve barely spoken to each other.

“It’s not like that. It must be hard since he missed second year, that’s all.”

With that, Rin decides to turn the corner.

He’s a little pleased at the reaction. How everyone goes into complete silence when he arrives. He spares her a glance as he moves towards the vending machines, clicking in the buttons. A generic sports drink comes tumbling out of the bottom, and Rin grabs it with deliberate slowness - drawing out the unease.

Eto-san gives him a blank stare before suddenly looking cheerful. She seems a little panicked, quickly trying to make conversation with him. The words don’t reach his ears as he stares down at her expressionlessly.

“Are you done?” He says, ice-cold. She stutters at that. Rin suppresses a smile.

“Oh, uhm, yeah. Sorry, were you busy?”

“Yeah,” He says back, completely apathetic.

He doesn’t plan on saying anymore in the first place. The little victories count.

It does feel like some kind of magic when he hears your voice from the other end of the hallway. You’re practically shouting it, and following is the sound of the hall monitors telling you off for running as you barrel toward him full speed. He can hear the thud of your sneakers all the way till they skid to a stop.

You’re out of breath, bent over your knees and messy as you put a hand up. Most times, he would be embarrassed. He’d even tell you off for being such an idiot. Right now, he finds the corners of his lips upturned as he stares at you from where you stand.

“Oh, hey guys. Sorry, I had some business with this guy. Oh, Fujita-chan, your hair is cute today! I like how it looks up on you,” You say, to the girl who was calling you kind just a minute ago “I hope he wasn’t too cruel to you. He’s actually afraid of women, it’s a generational curse. Every night he turns into a frog and—”

You shuffle in front him, arms stretched out like a shield. He sticks his leg out and kicks your shin. You yelp in pain.

“What the hell are you talking about? Shut up.”

“Ow, you strong bastard. You’re a soccer player, please be more conscious of your kicks. What if you shattered my shin? I know you’re loaded but it’s the principle of the thing, you know—”

“Stop talking or I’ll kick you a second time.”

You go silent immediately.

“Forgive me, Itoshi-sama. I’ve strayed from the path of righteousness. Alas, the people need you.” You say, turning around.

“Speak clearly.”

“Homeroom teacher wanted to double check with you about after graduation plans and told me to go get you.”

“Why you?”

“I was already walking around for the newspaper club.”

He nods, not needing any more explanation.

“H-hey, aren’t you acting too friendly with him?”

So she decided to speak. This makes you falter, just a little, and Rin detests the look of self-satisfaction on her face. He speaks this time. It’s not like he can’t fight any of his own battles.

“It’s fine,” He says, not bothering to think about it. He looks at you, as you stare back at him where he stands, wide-eyed. Idiot. “I don’t mind.”

You grin at him. Big and rounded and stupid, with all of your teeth like you’re giddy. If the hallway monitor wasn’t up your ass, he figures you’d be skipping about now. You usher him into the hall, back where he came from, waving them off.

“Be seeing you guys, then! Bye!”

And you’re off. It’s quiet until you’re both completely out of ear-shot. Before he can go any further you stand in front of him, hands behind your back with a dumb look on your face. He already knows what you’re going to say.

“Hey. I really like you a lot. Just now… my heart was fluttering. I thought I was hallucinating,”

“You’re a moron,”

“Ahhh, what should I do? I’m all hot under the collar. Is this what it’s like being a maiden in love? It’s great.”

“How can you say that knowing I’ve already rejected you?”

“It’s because you’ve rejected me, I can say that.”

And Rin doesn't really get it. He’s not sure he ever will.

But you seem happy enough. He decides against prying.

Somehow, you’ve ended up at Rin’s house.

He doesn’t know how it happened. Really.

He mentioned to his mother off-handedly that he needed to help someone study. He should’ve lied about it then, but coming off of running drills makes him pretty stupid. He uses most of his brain power when he trains. So in an altered state of mind due to dehydration, hunger and general exhaustion - he answered honestly instead of lying.

You’re helping someone study? Yes, they’re from my class.

Is it a boy or a girl? A girl. We’re friends.

You can’t study at the library? She doesn’t want to, so we’re trying to find somewhere else.

Why not invite her here, if her parents are okay with it? Her parent’s don’t really pay enough attention to be bothered.

Wait, what is he saying?

Rin doesn’t know how it happened. Really. Really. He tried pretty hard to reject his mothers advances about the situation but he’s never been one to upset her. The whole thing with Sae really tore her up so they both had a silent agreement to try and get along at home. And since Rin is still living at home for now, he tries harder to listen to her. Even so, he wasn’t planning on yielding for this one.

Rin is not immune to his mothers guilt. A long lecture about how her only sons never cared about anything but soccer and how she’s worried she’s never going to have grandchildren later, he finally gave in and gave you a call at his dinner table.

He was hoping you would come through and reject the offer. Say something stupid about how that’s dangerous territory for a young girl in love and let his mom down gently. He forgot about your whole thing about responsibility and being a nice girl who gets along well with adults.

And now, the door is ringing and Rin knows he’s going to open it to you. He mostly blames himself for not thinking ahead.

Rin opens the door on a Saturday afternoon and the first thing he thinks is that you’re not wearing your uniform.

You look…different. It’s weird. Your hair is styled in an unusual way, tied with something like ribbon. You’re wearing something flowy and loose but the neck is a little rounder than usual. There’s a necklace there, a heart-pendant with a chain. You have in...earrings.

Rin thinks vaguely that you look…something. He doesn’t know. But in his vision you’re like a troublesome and amorphous blob that yammers on about nothing. And right now you look…not like that.

“You’re dressed up.” Are the first words to come out of his mouth. You blink at him owlishly.

“Oh. Yeah. I wanted to make a good impression on your mom so I tried not to look sloppy.” You say sheepishly. He leans against the doorframe.

“She doesn’t care about stuff like that.”

“Well I do, okay? Now, can I come in?”

“The white slippers are for you.”

He steps aside and lets you in. You have perfect manners. He probably should’ve expected that. You take your shoes off neatly and place them on the rack the same way, slipping your feet into the slippers provided. Rin just watches, eyes tracing the curve of your neck.

“Where’s your mom?” You ask.

“In the kitchen making dinner. You’re staying for dinner right?”

You blink at him, surprised.

“I mean it’s not like I can’t.”

“She’d be upset if you didn’t.” He says noncommittally before walking you down to the kitchen.

His mother is right where he expects. He stands in the corner as you shuffle in watching on. She turns around to look at you, wiping her hands on her apron.

“Oh, my, you must be Rin’s friend? Such a lovely girl. Welcome! Welcome.”

To this, you bow your head as deep as it can go. The air around you feels serious. Rin scoffs internally. There’s a strange feeling in his chest that he can’t describe, seeing you bowing in front of his mom. An itch he can’t reach, locked tight around his ribs.

You give his mother your name first and she smiles like she’s absolutely delighted just hearing it.

“Thank you for having me. I brought some fruit with me as a gift, I hope that’s alright.”

His mom shoots him a look that Rin deflects by turning away, opening the plastic bag you’ve handed to her.

“Oh my! Aren’t these expensive fruits? Please thank your parents for me!”

“Oh no, don’t worry about that. I work part-time, so I paid for them myself. It was the least I could do. I’m grateful for the tutoring.”

You tense up, realizing that might’ve been an awkward thing to say. It isn’t. Even if it was, Rin’s mother has always been soft-hearted. His dad tells him they’re a lot alike but Rin doesn’t see it. Whatever it may be, Rin’s mom is too doting and too sociable to let you feel bad. Right now she seems emotional, an expression between empathy and pride. She reaches for you like it’s the most natural thing in the world, patting your head gently.

“How diligent. Thank you, then, for the fruit.”

Rin can’t see your face but it’s easy to picture.

“Of course. And pardon the intrusion! And uhm, thank you for having me for dinner.”

Clumsy. Rin thinks you’re clumsy. A flickering light. His mom laughs brightly and tells you not to worry. She leans in closer like she’s whispering but Rin can hear her loud and clear.

“Rin can be very brash but he’s a good boy, so thank you for being kind to him.”

He feels embarrassed. Even readies himself to intervene.

“He is very kind to me.”

Wait. What?

His mom smiles even brighter, and mouths something like ‘take care of her’ when you’re not looking. He wants to stop it before it starts. You’re not dating. You’re hardly even friends, you’re just here to study. Rin almost wants to shout it, but he’s stuck. Before he can do any of that, you’re turning around and smiling like you haven’t said anything strange.

What do you mean he’s kind to you? When his whole thing is rejecting you mercilessly? Being cruel?

What kind of person would ever describe him as kind?

He can’t find the words he wants to say, so he takes you to his room in silence.

You both make it to Rin’s room in one piece.

You’ve been studying now for about an hour. Given your personality, Rin was expecting more of a fuss. He thought you’d make some comment about being in a boys room and then fight off the actual studying like the plague.

Much to his surprise, you started studying with him right away. Rin tries his best to tutor you, though he does make fun of you in the process. But you’re a try-hard all the same, stopping only to ask questions and get clarification occasionally.

You’ve been focused that whole time, miraculously enough. Rin studies too, but only a bit, after deciding to study some recent matches instead.

( Every now and again, he’ll glance at you. Just to see if you’re stuck or still working. Each time, he gets caught up on the fact you’re not in your uniform and has to tear his eyes away. )

After a bout of silence, you yawn out loud, quietly shutting your workbook.

“I’ve finished all my practice problems for today,” You announce, before deciding to lay down on his floor “I’m beat.”

“I thought you were gonna give up before you started.” Rin admits. You frown at him.

“I was serious about needing tutoring. Thanks for all your help.”

“I already told you it’s fine. Is there anything else? Finals are next week.”

You shake your head.

“Mm, I don’t think so. One of the guys from the newspaper club helped me with math so I’ll be okay.”

…Huh?

“From the newspaper club?”

“Huh? Yeah. Murata-senpai. We’re in the same year. He’s a few months older so he insists on making me call him Senpai.”

“And he helped you with math?”

“Yeah. He was a delinquent like, all of first year but he really cleaned up his act. He’s actually really gentle.”

Rin frowns at that.

“Do people usually describe delinquents as gentle?”

You make a noise of indignance from where you’re laid on his floor.

“Hey. Murata-senpai is really nice, okay? And he is gentle, so I won’t tolerate your usual judginess.”

Rin rolls his eyes.

“How’d you even meet him?”

“Uh…I wanted to write a column about him, basically. He was helping in the garden last year and I kinda…stalked him. It sounds worse than it is. I just wanted to know what made him change.”

“So stalking people is pretty typical for you.”

You sit up and gape at him. Rin suppresses a laugh.

“Anyways. I eventually flagged him down for an interview. Apparently, he had a real scare with his granny getting sick and decided he needed to cut the shit. He’s a good guy. He joined the newspaper club after the interview,”

“After the interview…?”

You nod, leaning forward with your elbows on the table in front of you.

“Uh-huh. Said he was interested because of my passion or something. He’s been really nice to me ever since and helps me with all of the ideas I have.” You soften as you talk about it. Rin feels an ugly emotion in his chest “I’m worried about what will happen to the club after graduation, but Senpai is always encouraging me to make the most out of the time we still have. So I’m really thankful for him. That’s why you have to be nice.”

Rin is super annoyed. He doesn’t know why he’s so annoyed but he is. How do you not realize this guy likes you? He doesn’t know why he’s opening his mouth to tell you what’s so obvious. It’s not like it really matters. Rin doesn’t like you in the first place, so if he informs you that your beloved Murata-senpai has feelings for you - it’s no big deal.

In fact it might be better for everyone if you realize. He’s just frustrated by how clueless you can be sometimes.

“He’s interested in you,” Rin says, against his better judgment. It feels like the words are welling up in his throat “Your senpai or whatever.”

You blink at him stupidly. He wonders if you’re wearing mascara.

“Huh? I doubt that somehow. Senpai is kind to me but I think he sees me like a little sister.”

He scoffs at you.

“You would think that. Most guys aren’t just nice to girls they don’t like.”

“Not everyone is like you, yanno.” You say back without thinking twice. That’s not the point this time, he wants to say. And he’s right for this one. Anyone else with half of a brain would realize. You’re just… you. Which means you’re absolutely unaware of things pertaining to you. It’s the only reason he can think you’d deny something so obvious.

The only reason you could come to the house of a boy you liked just to study.

“Shut up. I’m saying this because you’re too much of a dumbass to put it together on your own. The guy definitely likes you.”

“I didn’t know you were a love guru,” You say sarcastically, sticking your tongue out at him. Childish. Annoying “It doesn’t matter if he does.”

“Why wouldn’t it matter?”

You give him an incredulous look.

“Unfortunately my heart is captured by an aloof sportsman.”

He doesn’t know why he feels relieved when you say that. He feels his heart all the way in his throat like he’s going to throw it up, even though his expression remains impassive.

“You already know I don’t like you, though. It’s a good opportunity, isn’t it? Don’t a lot of people move on that way.”

You shake your head.

“I’m not that sort of wishy-washy woman.” You reply, huffing your chest up and trying to ease the tension. You stop to shake your head, a small smile on your face. “You wouldn’t get it even if I explained.”

“It’s annoying when you do that,” Rin voices, not bothering to cut it any other way “You did that with the girls at school too. I’m never gonna get it if you don’t bother explaining it to me.”

You soften at this, then whisper.

“...Why do you care?” But it’s not said with any malice. It’s not said sadly either. Just curious. He freezes, but doesn’t let it show. He wants to ask himself the same question.

“I don’t. It’s just,” And he scoffs, not looking at your face “It’s a pain.”

You hum, not expecting more of an answer.

“I want to treasure my own feelings towards you,” You say, and something in Rin feels like it’s being set on fire. “It’s not just about having a boyfriend. If it was, then I’d consider Senpai's feelings.”

“...So it’s about me, specifically?”

“Yeah,” You say without offering any more explanation than that “It is. I like you.”

The words but why, linger in the air. You seem to be feeling merciful, as you lean back on your palms and stare up at his ceiling. You wear your heart outside of your body, more often than not. And he thinks that part of you is so hard to get used to.

“You’re really awkward. And aloof. And you don’t have any friends.”

“Is this some kind of revenge or…?”

“But. You’re also sensitive. The more I know you, the more I think you’re kind and well-meaning. You uh, remind me of a cat.”

He blinks.

“A cat?”

“A cat. Sometimes they want their own space. And sometimes they knock your water off your desk for fun. Plus they only really care about people in their own circle,”

“Again, is this—”

“Let me finish, jeez. They’re solitary creatures. But like when they accept you, they get comfortable. An’ nice . And they look out for you in their own way. To me you’re a lot like that.”

You give him a smile so warm it makes his back hot. So loud and so vibrant like it burst out of him at any minute.

“I’ve uh, always been interested in you. I watched you play in Bluelock too. I kept thinking to myself, there’s something about you. I want to know more, even if it’s just a little. Stuff like that.” You talk so quietly yet it’s all Rin can hear. All Rin can see in his vision is you. All Rin can think about is you. “I’ve always been interested in other peoples stories. So I thought, what a waste it would be, to throw away that feeling because of something like love or like. I thought, ‘What's your story, Itoshi Rin?’”

Rin doesn’t know what to say so he chooses to say nothing.

“When I confessed, I knew you would never like me. Because that’s just the sort of person everyone says you are. Still, what a waste, right? You miss all the shots you don’t take or whatever. So, I wanted to get to know you. I guess.”

“I don’t get it. I get what you’re like but it still doesn’t make any sense. There’s nothing special to know, is there?”

“Feeling that is special, don’t you think? That’s a special reason to me.”

He doesn’t follow. You laugh lightly.

“If I never became interested in Murata-senpai’s story, I would’ve never been his friend. If I gave up on trying to know you, just because you didn’t return to my one-sided feelings, then I would’ve never gotten to know you either. Don’t you think that’s a waste?”

Rin doesn’t know. He’s never really cared about it. He’s rejected so many confessions and never once thought enough about any of them in any depth. That part of you is foreign. He can chalk it up to a difference in character. He can’t understand wanting to know someone just because.

(Or maybe he can. He just hasn’t until now. Until this very moment, suspended in time. Where he wants to know what things make you the way you are.)

Some small, dark part of him wants to ask why. Over and over until his throat feels raw - long enough to understand it. Even as he grips onto that desire so tight, with such bruising force, the words sit in his mouth. They taste like iron. They taste like a bitten tongue. If you’ve watched him all this time, then you know. Being chosen. He’s never been confident in that. Rin wants to ask, why him?

What’s so special? Enough to keep talking to him? Enough to do any of this? Is getting to know people is always this difficult, he wonders. Does it always feel uncomfortable to be in proximity with someone?

In the end, he can’t bring himself to ask. He can’t even bear to examine it in himself, the sense of dread washing over him like sickness. He’s nauseous. And this time, there’s a residue of tension he’s finding increasingly difficult to ignore.

You come through again. He wonders if you can read his mind just like you do with all the nobodies at school.

“Rin-kun,” You say, your voice like the summer heat. “Getting to know you makes me feel like my feelings aren’t a waste. I’m happy getting to know you. I want to treasure that.”

What happens when you run out of things to know? The question is too heavy. He settles on a different one. He wants to understand it more. Just to put himself at ease.

“Isn’t being in the same room with someone who rejected you uncomfortable?”

“Maybe. But there’s a clear line for me and you, so it’s cool. In like, ten years, maybe someone will interview me about you. As your classmate and stuff. And I’ll go - ‘He’s actually a really nice guy. I actually had a crush on him.’ If I can say that, without being regretful, then that’ll be enough for me.”

“That’ll be enough for you? Really?”

“Really.”

“You’re so weird.” He says, unsure of what else he could possibly say. You giggle, and lay back down on his floor.

“I knew you’d say that.”

Summer comes.

It doesn’t occur to Rin how often he sees you in school until it all comes to a halt. He has your number, and you text him often - about unimportant and trivial shit that you think of. In that way, it doesn’t even really feel like you’ve separated.

But the sudden absence of your chattering in his life makes everything feel especially quiet. Summer is a boring time for Rin. It’s mostly the same. Practicing and playing and studying. On the few occasions he’s been out, it’s because some of the other Bluelock members are gathering and refuse to let him know even a breath of peace.

He’s seen Sae now, though they never really talk about anything. Sort of just look at each other and exchange enough words that their mom doesn’t cry before going back to their room. Sae will be gone before school starts back up again, so Rin isn’t all that worried about it.

It occurs to Rin for the first time that this summer will be the last of his highschool days. He’s never been sentimental about stuff like that - so he figures you’re to blame for these sudden thoughts.

Your summer has been a lot busier than his. He should probably expect this from you by now, but your surprisingly youthful social life always shocks him. You’ve been working part-time as usual. In that time though, you’ve also been to the beach and been on an overnight trip to Osaka with your newspaper club.

(Rin wasn’t happy to hear about this. He was relieved to know it was with a teacher and that you roomed with a girl. But still, not exactly his favorite of anecdotes for the summer.)

You’ve invited Rin more than once to come hang out with you, but he’s basically always declined. The group setting is troublesome, but being alone with you feels even worse somehow. It wouldn’t be a date, obviously, but it would be something. Something deliberate.

Rin doesn’t know if he can come see you in good faith for such a reason.

It’s another day spent doing his usual. Being technical, it’s a rest day, which means he’s only allowed to stretch. He has done his basics. Studied, messed around with his ball, responded to a barrage of texts from Bachira and Isagi. He played games for a while, checking out a new horror game before deciding it’d be best not to get too sucked in so he has something to play next time.

After all that, during a mid-August day while Rin sits on his couch and watches T.V., he receives a facetime call from you for the very first time. At first, he just lets it ring. But when it keeps ringing - he figures your persistence is going to continue unless he replies.

He looks around. No one's home, so he doesn’t need to go to his room. He swipes, and the call connects. The screen shows him, propped up against something with a full shot of your room. You’re turned away from the camera. Rin just stares.

“Oh, shit - did you actually pick up?”

“Should I hang up.”

“No! No, I just wasn’t expecting you. Don’t hang up. I need a guy's opinion.”

“What? What for?”

“I got in a fight with my brother about a dress I bought,” You say, exasperated, and Rin is surprised because you hardly see him. “I know he’s probably looking out for me but I don’t think we talk enough for him to be telling me how to dress.”

“He’s older than you, right? Maybe you should listen to him.”

“You’re the last person I want to hear that from. Either way, I’m not a kid. I’m already 18 and I’m going to college. It’s a cute dress! I feel like it’s fine.”

“So..why’d you call me again?”

“I’m gonna try it on and show you. Murata-senpai is busy.”

“You shouldn’t do that to a guy who likes you.” Rin deadpans. You laugh.

“Shut up. I really need an opinion. I wanted to wear it to go out today so if it’s actually too provocative then I have to change my outfit.”

“Where are you even going?”

“My friend needs to get a concealer, so probably the mall or something. After that I’ll go buy some stationary.”

“Alone? What about your friend?”

“She’s gonna go see her boyfriend.”

“Why can’t you just go with them? Or ask them to go with you”

“And third wheel? I’m good. I just need some stationary and then I’ll be home. Easy peasy. Anyway, what’s with the interrogation?”

“It’s not interrogation.” He insists. You’re offscreen so Rin can’t see you, but he can hear the sound of a zipper echo in the speakers. He’s also sure you’re rolling your eyes.

When you come on camera, the dress of the hour is on display. Rin’s first thought is to tell you to take it off. It is too provocative to him. The front is fine as is, but it’s nearly backless and it’s cut too high on your thighs. He’s never seen so much of your skin. Maybe that’s a given, since he didn’t go to the beach with you either.

You give him a quick spin, before patting the front down. You say something, but the words don’t register. It feels like his brain is full of cotton or something.

“So? Too much? I mean it’s backless but like. I don’t know, it’s kind of loose? And the sleeves are long. Neckline isn’t that bad, either.”

Rin just says what he thinks “You shouldn’t go out alone wearing it.”

You frown at him.

“That’s not helpful, Rin-kun.”

“It’s…fine. What time does your friend have to go?”

“Probably right after we’re done.”

He sighs.

“Tell her to go with her boyfriend early. I’ll come with you to get your stationary.”

“Wait, what? Did I hear that right? You’re coming to get me? After I’ve been hounding you to hang out? What’s with the change of heart?”

“I don’t have anything to do since it’s a rest day. You need stuff and I don’t think you should be out alone. Don’t read into it.”

“Kinda hard not too but I’m not gonna complain. Are you coming right now?”

“Yeah. Send me your address.”

Rin has no idea what impulse has brought him here.

That’s not entirely true. What brought him to your apartment towards the end of summer is impulse. He acted on nothing but impulse.

Rin, for better or for worse, finds that you’re clueless about yourself. The fact you were going to call Murata-senpai is already bothering him enough. That, along with the fact you wore the dress and didn’t think it was too short is troubling. It’s not that Rin wants to tell you what not to wear. He doesn’t have the right but you did ask.

Anyway, it’s a lot less agitating if you’re being accompanied while wearing it. Going alone in something like that, even if it’s the middle of summer, would be stupid.

Rin doesn’t make it a habit of worrying about the outfits of girls he doesn’t know. He does know you though. He thinks you’d be really annoying if something happened and you got upset about it. So, all he’s doing is preventing that outcome. It’s nothing more than that.

He knocks on your door as he shakes the thoughts out of his head, and he’s greeted by a man in his late twenties. It dawns on Rin that this is your brother. He really didn’t think this through.

Your brother is an imposing person. He’s a head taller than Rin with a gruff voice and a scar on his cheek. Rin stares at him blankly.

“Who are you?”

“Itoshi Rin. I’m here for—”

“Nii-san, tell Rin-kun to come inside and sit! I’m not done getting ready.”

Your brother glares at him.

“Who’s he? Your boyfriend? Is that why—”

You come stumbling out of your room, half-dressed and Rin immediately averts his eyes. This is the most uncomfortable experience of his life.

“He’s not my boyfriend. He already rejected me, so we’re just friends. Stop fussing and let him in, it’s hot out.”

“He rejected you?”

Rin should just leave.

“I already knew he was going to. Now move,”

Rin doesn’t enjoy being involved in your sibling quarrel. Suddenly, he feels a twinge of regret about some old Bluelock memories. He understands it now more than ever, gaining a little empathy.

Your brother moves out of the way. You’re standing in the hall, with a single stocking on and powder on your face he’s pretty sure is meant to be brushed. You grin at him.

“Sorry! I won’t be long, promise. You got here faster than I thought you would.”

Rin can feel a pair of eyes in the back of his skull.

“Uh. Yeah. I took the bus so it was quick.”

“It might be uncomfortable here. Do you wanna sit in my room instead? It’s colder but it’s kind of a mess—”

“He can sit here.” Your brother insists. Rin is never leaving his house again. You frown.

“Didn’t I already tell you we’re not dating? He’s not even interested in me, it’s not like anything is gonna happen.”

“It’s the principle of it.” Yeah. Definitely siblings.

“Whatever. If you make him uncomfortable, I’m gonna yell at you. Rin-kun, sorry. Do you need anything? Juice? Water?”

Your hospitality throws him off. You’re different at home.

“Uh. No. I’m okay.”

“Okay, then I’ll hurry and get dressed. Nii-san, please be civil.”

With that, you flounce back up to your room. Your brother is staring hard in Rin’s direction. He’s not intimidated. It’s just… so awkward it’s kind of unbearable for him. What do people usually do in this situation? Rin’s not exactly the sociable type.

“She confessed to you?”

Rin is startled.

“Uh. Yeah. In April.”

“And you’re friends?”

“She asked to be friends.”

Your brother looks distressed.

“I don’t understand that girl at all.”

Rin doesn't either.

“What’s she like in school?”

Rin stares. Oh. He’s that kind of older brother.

“Uh. Busy. She’s in the newspaper club so she’s always doing something. She has a lot of friends and gets along with our class.”

“I see…that’s good. I’m always worried about her. Our family has always been busy and I moved out when I was 18 so… we don’t see much of each other. She doesn’t talk about herself that much either.”

Rin nods absently. What circle of hell is this?

“She probably thinks I’m just being overprotective,” Bullseye “But I just worry she grew up too fast.”

Rin thinks if he were a different kind of guy, now would be the time he gives your older brother an encouraging heart to heart. The script is there. It’s just not how he honestly feels. Rin doesn’t take pleasure in defending you. But it’s hypocritical and a little ridiculous to hear it from him.

Some of it is leftover resentment from Sae. The rest is knowing you.

You did grow up too fast. From what he knows about teenage girls, they’re supposed to be…meaner. More hysterical. More inconsiderate. Less responsible and more in the moment. Messy. All teenagers are, really.

For all the ways you are clumsy and ridiculous, sometimes Rin thinks you’re too off-puttingly mature. It wouldn’t kill you to be more selfish. To be just a little less self-reliant. It’s not normal is it? To be so grateful for things you’re owed. It bothers him. Always has.

Rin knows what the script is. But it bothers him.

“If you know that then you don’t really have any right to intervene,” Rin says bluntly. “Suddenly acting protective and considerate when she grew up on her own is just going to feel stifling. Aren’t you just trying to make yourself feel better?”

He looks surprised by his answer. Hurt too.

“I guess that’s right,”

He frowns.

“If you actually care, just be honest. She’s not the type of person to turn someone away on a grudge.”

Before Rin can feel embarrassed about what he’s said, you come stumbling down the steps all dressed up. Your brother gives you a look.

“Do you need any money?”

You look at him confused then shake your head no.

“Okay. Stay safe and have fun.”

He turns to leave. You watch him go. Rin puts his hands in his pockets like he’s trying to wipe himself of it.

“Weird… anyways. Ready to go?”

“Yeah.”

Your outing goes well.

Outing. Not a date. No matter how many times people mistake you two for being on a date today - it was nothing more than an outing.

You start with stationary for the upcoming term, then you drag Rin to the mall because you need some more clothes. After that, you go into a bookstore to pick up some manga. Rin has fun there because he gets to pick out some new releases and you bond mutually over your tastes. Rin learns both like thrillers. You spend a lot of time together, reading over his shoulder.

It’s not a date. But it wasn’t bad. He’s so used to talking to you that the entire situation doesn’t feel uncomfortable at all. You’re funnier than he’s usually willing to give you credit for. Doing all that, plus train rides, makes it so you’re not home until sundown. You, however, refuse to end the night without having some kind of treat. After a lot of begging Rin to cheat on his meal plan, the two of you get ice-cream and you drag Rin to a local playground. Apparently you bring your neighbors' kids here sometimes.

Now he’s here. Sitting on swings with ice-cream and it is still not a date. Rin has no opinions on the day but you’re practically bursting at the seams with happiness. The dress you’re wearing is hiking up on your thigh from how you’re sitting. He was right to accompany you, by the way. The amount of creeps he’s had to stare down today alone is outright disgusting.

Rin takes a spoonful of ice-cream and lets it melt in his mouth. You let your feet hit the mulch beneath you as you lick the ice-cream carefully - trying desperately not to let it spill on your hand. He watches on in amusement. After you finally get a handle on it, you give him a small look.

“I had fun today,” You say sentimentally. Rin feels his stomach tie in knots “Thank you.”

He frowns.

“Gross. Stop that.”

“Aw, c’mon. You’re so edgy. Just admit you had fun! You had a fantastic and whimsical time.”

He gives you an unimpressed stare.

“Really? Nothing? You’re not feeling the flames of youthful joy in your loins at all?”

“Describing it like that is disgusting.”

“So you admit you know what it is.”

Rin wants to smile. Fuck, he hates you.

“...It wasn’t bad.”

You grin. You’re so annoying.

“Ladies and gents, we got an ‘it wasn’t bad’ from the ever soulless Itoshi Rin!”

Stupid. So stupid.

“It was more tolerable than hanging out with some of my other dipshit friends.”

You clasp a hand over your mouth dramatically.

“Oh…Oh wow… Do you want to try proposing next? The set-up is there. Perfect ambience.”

His face cracks into a begrudging smile.

“You’re insufferable.”

You suddenly go quiet. When Rin looks at you, you’re stunned

“Why’re you being weird?”

“No, sorry, I was just thinking I really like you,” You say, like it’s the easiest and most natural thing in the world “I’ve never seen you smile before. It’s nice.”

“...Your ability to say cringy shit like that so easily is astounding to me.”

“I don’t want to hear this from the guy who unironically uses lukewarm,” You say, biting into your ice-cream cone. Rin blushes. “Besides, nothing wrong with being cringe when you’re in love.”

“Freak.”

You give him a thumbs up.

“One of a kind.”

There’s a beat of silence. It’s comfortable. Rin eats his too, probably a little slower than he has to. Summer feels heavy in the air.

“You weren’t always like..an edgelord, right?”

Rin stares at you, perplexed by how sudden the question is.

“Where’d you hear that from?”

“Your mom after dinner. You already went upstairs. Said you had a nasty fight with your brother.”

He doesn’t say anything, posture stiffening at the mention of Sae.

“It’s not your business.”

“Hey. No need for the attitude. I’m curious as your number one fan.” You say, trying to back off as much as possible. Like he’s some kind of feral cat you’re trying to calm. “Don’t be mad, okay? You don’t have to talk about it.”

You try your best to be soothing and Rin softens

He is angry. Not at you. Not really. The mention of Sae just does that to him. And if anyone else even thought to bring it up - he’d probably tell them to go fuck themselves with nothing but bitter hatred.

With you, there’s not any of that. There’s a lingering sense of hesitance - an internal conflict, but not anger. Rin’s never enjoyed opening his heart to anyone.

Even so, he feels compelled to tell you, so he does.

“My brothers a dick,” Resentment seeps into his words “He came back from overseas and then basically insulted me for a minute straight. We were always meant to play soccer together but he went through something. He changed. We never talked about it,”

“What? He insulted you for no reason? That’s so weird. Did you always have a bad relationship?”

Rin sits with himself quietly.

“I don’t know if we have one now. We were close as kids. At least.”

“And he just… came back and started being an asshole to you? Seriously?”

Rin nods. There’s not much else to the story. Rin’s tried hard not to think about the situation itself. He only uses the feelings that stayed behind to make him better. To give him a reason to play - it’s motivation and nothing more. If he starts to view it too much like what it is, betrayal, he’s afraid everything inside of him will collapse.

“There’s probably more to it than that,” You conclude thoughtfully. Rin thinks the same “But still. You’re his baby brother. Even if he’s going through something…”

Rin scoffs “You sound like you’re worried about him.” It comes out more petulantly than he expects

“Not really. Not as much as I’m worried about you,” You counter, giving him a small smile. Rin feels his heart leap into his throat “I just figure, you know, maybe thinking about it like that would help. You were close right? Your mom said he used to dote on you,”

Rin nods. He feels his chest swell and tighten.

“Then…I bet it sucked. I bet it was hard. Or at least, it must’ve been lonely to go through that,” You say, frown deepening “Such a sudden change would be hard for anyone to deal with, I think. It’s okay if you feel like it’s unfair. His reasons aside.”

You sigh, suddenly, covering your hands with your face.

“What?” Rin asks. You shake your head.

“You poor thing. I wanna hug you to death you know. A good squeeze. I’m trying to refrain.” You say, stomping your feet just slightly. He feels a flush crawl up his neck, turning his head to look away.

“...It’s not like I’m stopping you.”

He doesn’t have the courage to look at you. Not as he says it, or after to steal a glance of what face you're making. Instead, he hears the metal of the chain and feels the warmth of your body. It’s a tight hug. You’re standing and he’s sitting, your arms around his neck, his face directly against your chest. He widens his eyes. He wants to yell at you for being a defenseless idiot, but the feeling of being hugged so tightly washes the words away. You’re soft…and warm. He’s never been hugged by someone who isn’t his mom or brother before, and he can’t remember the last time either thing happened to him. You pat his head.

Do you touch people like this often? So casually? Or is he special because you like him, he wants to ask. He wants to ask but doesn’t want to know the answer, pushing the feeling down as deep as he can make it go. He wraps his arms around you loosely, above your waist trying to be respectful.

But he leans into the warmth. Like it’s something that happens once in a lifetime.

“Hey, Rin.” You say, soft. He can feel the warmth of your breath against his hair.

“Hn.”

“I hope you kick your brother's ass in soccer.”

You sound teary. Weirdly, it makes Rin feel better.

“Yeah.”

School starts up again during September.

The autumn season welcomes warm colors, fallen leaves and the sort of cool weather that puts the summer uniforms back up on the hangers. Rin is listening to music when he spots you waiting for him at the gate, waving your hand at him. He has half a mind to ignore you, you’re so embarrassing.

But before he can pretend not to see, you’re jogging over to him. He has to stand so you don’t end up bumping into him. You walk like you were born backwards, two left feet with such little awareness of your surroundings it stresses Rin out.

He gives you a blank stare as you smile, securing your bag to your shoulder.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” You say warmly. Rin pauses to look at you. You look different somehow. Lately you always do, Rin wonders if you’ve picked up some weird shape-shifting in your time apart “Are you excited for the new semester, hm? Hmm?”

He keeps walking and you fall in step with him. You try but he’s too fast, so he slows just a little. He clicks his teeth, shaking his head, eyes taking in the view of the building in front him.

“Why would I be excited?”

You shrug.

“Because winter break is close? Because there’s fun leaves outside? Because it’s your birthday in 6 days?”

He stops dead in his tracks.

“What the hell? Why do you know that?”

“Your mom told me.” You say, skipping along happily to school like you didn’t just say something insane. His frown deepens.

“You have my moms number? You talk to my mom?”

“She loves me,” You say casually, turning only to look at him and stick your tongue out “And she’s nice. Get over it.”

With this, you rush into the building faster, giggling as you leave. Rin, frustrated, stomps after you.

Your time together at lunch continues into fall. It’s the third day of the term, September 6th and you’re sitting by his side. The two of you eat in casual silence now, falling into a regular routine. There’s something about the whole ordeal that makes Rin feel a little funny.

Friendship, as it stands, is still a lukewarm idea to him. But sprawled out next to you in a comfortable quiet isn’t the worst thing. The weather is cool enough to be nice and the daylight lasts for just the right amount of time to see sunset when he treks back home from practicing shooting into the net.

That kind of sentimental viewing of his surroundings is a bad habit he’s picked up from you. He can’t seem to shake it off. He’s tried at least, but Rin has been stopping to look at everything nowadays. The sun, the trees, the cars passing. Everything passes right by his life, slowly.

Eventually, eventually this whole thing will cease. You’ll never see Rin again and he’ll never see you - and you’ll part your separate ways. Thinking about that feels so stifling. But he figures since that’s the case, there’s probably not any harm in letting the time pass like this. As long as he’s still improving.

Your voice doesn’t catch him off-guard anymore, no matter how loud it is after a long bout of silence. You stuff something into your mouth, a tomato he thinks.

“Rin-kun,” You start, tilting your head to one-side “Are you doing anything for your birthday?”

“No.” He answers immediately because he never does. He hasn’t done much since Sae left home and now that he’s a third year and about to be 18, there’s even less of a desire to pull together a party and celebrate.

“What? Boo. That’s so lame.”

“Don’t be so childish.”

“I’m older than you, you dummy,” You say with such automation that Rin doesn’t even get the chance to process “You’re not even gonna have cake? Nothing?”

“My mom might but I don’t have any plans.”

“Your mom is so nice.”

“Stop.”

You frown at him but don’t say any more. You look like you have something on your mind. Probably something stupid, but Rin can’t help but wonder what’s making your brow crease so intensely.

“What?” He snips. You flick your eyes to him and shake your head.

“I just think it’s a waste,” You say simply, that tone of fondness seeping into it that Rin can’t get used to. “It’s such a big number, you know? A little cake and some show tunes or something would suffice.”

Rin scoffs.

“I don’t care about it. It’s pointless to me. Lukewarm” He says, before noticing your genuine sadness. He sighs a little to himself “Stop looking like a depressed mutt.”

“I’m not a dog.”

“I guess dogs are more well-trained.’

“Hey. Hey, what the hell do you mean by that?”

He ignores you.

“Anyway, stop worrying about it.”

You pout.

“Easier said than done.”.

Rin’s morning routine has been the exact same for two years.

He starts by opening the window, to let fresh air and sunlight come in through the glass. He feels like his room gets stale overnight and it wakes him up to taste the sun in the back of his mouth. He takes a deep breath of it, clearing out his lungs and blinking his eyes open.

After that he stretches. He unfurls a Bluelock brand yoga mat onto his carpeted floor and gets to his usual cycle. It’s integral for an athlete to keep their muscles stretched, functioning like a well-oiled machine. He has it down pat. He starts from the bottom up, stretching his legs and working up to his arms and shoulders. His legs always come first since he’s a striker, always focusing on the mobility of his calves and foot before he stretches out his thigh.

His core, then his chest and arms. When he’s done with all that - he practices yoga for fifteen minutes. Again with mobility but this time full body, like making sure each of his limbs work with each other without any stops. He’ll sit back down after those minutes are up to meditate for another fifteen - clear his mind of absolutely anything stuck in it. It’s the most peace he gets on any given day.

At the end, he sits with his feelings. Carefully, he undoes the wrapped clothed box around his heart and stares at it as it sits in his lap. Beating and raw and melancholy blue - so full of sadness and anger like it could burst at any minute. Revisiting his sadness and rage is a necessity. Sometimes it feels like only sadness. Only monochrome.

(He wonders if a day will come where that part of his routine is changed. If ever, he’ll unwrap his own heart only to see it pink or golden yellow or even a softer shade of red. He wonders if the colors ever change, or if time will fade them.)

All of this happens before he even brushes his teeth. The rest of his morning routine is keeping his room neat. He folds the comforter on his bed, puts any dirty clothes away, and gets dressed. He doesn’t really style his hair - it’s so pin straight after washing he normally just has to brush it to keep it nice.

After that he has breakfast, and checks through his bag. On days he has school he goes to school and comes back to practice. If he’s home alone - he picks one of many other things to do. He tends to practice closer to evening, taking a shower before he goes to sleep.

On the morning of Rin’s 18th birthday, he’s only really acutely aware of the date. His morning starts the exact same as it has everyday for nearly two years. Nothing to make him feel particularly different. When he looks in the mirror, he still sees his brother's face and when he looks at his heart it’s still a steely, melancholy blue.

When he comes down stairs, though - there’s a pair of shoes he doesn’t recognize. And there’s a humming traveling down the hall and always the way up towards him that he knows quite well.

He thinks, for a minute, he might still be dreaming. Why you would be in his house on a Saturday morning makes absolutely no sense otherwise.

He slips his feet into his gray slippers and treks into the living room, only to find you in view of the open kitchen. There’s a balloon attached to flowers and a spread of fruits on the table. Orange juice in a cold glass. You with his moms borrowed apron, humming contentedly as you bend over the stove.

Rin doesn’t know what the feeling is. He doesn’t know if he’s irritated or not. Just that it’s so overwhelming to see you in his kitchen, marching to the beat of your own drum like you always do.

“What the hell are you doing in my house?”

You startle when you hear his voice, whipping around to face him. Dramatically putting a hand on your chest - you shoot him an unfriendly glare.

“Well hello to you too.”

“Answer my question.” He demands. You click your teeth.

“Well, obviously I’m making breakfast. We’re celebrating your birthday.”

“Without telling me.”

You snap your fingers before giving him finger guns “Precisely. Genius deduction, Itoshi-sama.”

“What the fuck. Where are my parents.”

“They’re out on a day-trip! It’s a Saturday. They’ll be back here on Sunday afternoon. Read the note.”

“What were you gonna do if I had last minute plans?”

“You don’t though?” You say like knowing that is so obvious. He knows you asked but still “I guess I’d turn around and make my own breakfast. Give you your gift at school or something.”

“Why are you here?” He asks a little softer this time. With a little more emotion, just a touch. He never expects anyone to make a fuss about his birthday.

Rin doesn’t really ask for much. Certainly wouldn’t ask for this on his own accord. That’s a vain thing to do, right?

It occurs to Rin that this is the kind of birthday you do for someone you like. Someone you love. You’re always confessing your feelings to him. You only say it when you’re sure. It wasn’t like Rin didn’t know you had feelings for him, because the point of it all had been for you to try and get rid of them. Or honor them, or deal with them in whatever way you saw fit. Rin had agreed on a whim to help you with that. Your friendship had started with the very notion that you liked Itoshi Rin and he didn’t like you back. It’s not some secret.

When the light pours in through the windows and hits your back and for the first time - Rin understands what the fuss is about being in love is. He’s sure that this strange, grotesque warmth is the aftermath of being liked. He always thought it’d feel more simple. That he’d remain unmoved in the face of it because he was different.

It’s not like he’s unloved. He’s sure his parents love him. His brother did too. Still does, Rin thinks.

But it’s the first time someone has made their feelings so clear to him. Someone who isn’t supposed to love or like him. And even Rin, chronically apathetic, can’t bring himself to ignore the weight of knowing that. He stares at you, dumbstruck.

You’re still turned to him. There’s a cool tumbler of iced-coffee sitting on the counter that you sip, head tilted to one side.

“Well, I don’t know,” You start, a hand on your hip “It just felt like too much of a waste to do nothing on your birthday. But you’re not the kind of guy who likes big celebrations. So I thought maybe just hanging out would be more your speed.”

Rin swallows. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Bold thing to assume.”

You frown back.

“Well, I was gonna invite Isagi-kun—“

“Isagi? How do you know Isagi?”

“He saw me leaving your house ‘cause he was gonna visit. After we talked he followed me on Instagram. Anyway, I was gonna invite him and Bachira and all four of us could go to a movie,” You explain as you sigh and go back to the stove “But he said you’d probably just want to hang out with me.”

“…And he didn’t say anything else?”

“Well he asked if we were dating so I just told him the truth. Really nice guy, by the way.”

Rin’s going to hound Isagi next time they practice together.

“So. Now you’re here… doing what exactly?”

“Making you breakfast. I’ll make you ochazuke for lunch later. Haven’t decided on dinner, I thought I’d ask when you woke up. Your mom said you liked traditional breakfast but I didn’t think I’d be done by the time you woke up so there’s fruit.”

Sure enough, when Rin walks over to the other side of the table - there’s a half done spread of breakfast on the table. All the dining ware is set up neatly, the table arranged so well he feels guilty for not helping.

“You didn’t have to do all this for me.” Rin tsks, a frown on his expression as he stands next to you. He watches you pour egg into a square pan, slowly evening out the layers.

“I wanted to,” You reply, not thinking twice about it. “I enjoy cooking for people. It’s fun. I normally just do it to feed myself, so it’s nice to share.”

He closes his eyes.

“Thanks.”

He’s afraid to look over at you, the excitement radiating off of you. It makes him uncomfortable that something so simple could make you so happy.

“Can you repeat that?”

“Don’t start.”

“Rin-chan,” You coo, immediately making him so embarrassed he wants to hit you “You’re so docile today.”

“I’m gonna kill you.” He says, hitting your shoulder as light as he can.

“Woah…how romantic. Dying on the day you were born? Jeez. I’m swooning.”

He looks at you blankly.

“Stop being gross. Where did you even get that from?”

“Too many things to count,” You say with a snap. He shakes his head.

“Is there anything I can help with?”

“How diligent. It’s fine! It’s your birthday, right? Sit. Eat some fruit. Pick out what you wanna do. I rented some games and there’s some movies I had in mind too. Make your agenda. “

Rin laughs to himself, lightly.

“Isn’t that supposed to be your job?”

“Don’t be stingy! I’m already making breakfast.”

Rin rolls his eyes.

“Yeah. Whatever.”

You end up back in Rin’s room.

After a healthy discussion about what he would like to do - Rin landed on wanting to do both. He picked out a copy of Resident Evil to play until after lunch and then decided to binge a bunch of movies after.

You even agree to accompany him while he practices. There’s 24 hours in a day and the plans are nothing more than vague suggestions - but deep down, it makes Rin kind of…well whatever. It’s not a bad plan.

Currently, you’re sitting at the foot of Rin’s bed with your hands tight around the controller of his PS4. Rin feels a little bad for you. While you do okay with horror movies, the immersion of horror games seems to frighten you enough that your eyes are glued onto the screen. As such, Rin is trying his best not to startle you as you lean forward every so slightly. The leg of your pants is pushed up just barely. You’re dressed cozy, so it’s funny seeing your head shrink into your hoodie.

“Why the fuck would you set it hardcore if this BOTH of our first times playing,” You whine, turning yourself into the next room carefully on screen “I’m scared.”

“You’re such a wuss,” He scoffs, leaning back from where he’s sitting next to you on his bed. “We’re never gonna make any progress like this.”

You stomp your feet and Rin resists the urge to laugh.

“Shut up, it’s scary.”

He nudges your shoulder with his knee.

“Stop complaining. You got to pick the character and I got to pick the difficulty.”

“I deserve to lust after Leon after the shit I’m getting put through,”

Rin scoffs at your declaration. The irritation is softened when you walk into the backroom faced with a zombie - a short scream leaving your lips as you mash buttons and use your gun to kill it quickly. You manage to dodge as much damage as you can, obviously trying not to waste limited resources. Even so it takes damn near 7 bullets. Despite your cowardice, you’re pretty good at the game.

You loot the room for any possible supplies then leave. You turn the corner of the isle, a zombie filled gas station awaiting you. You manage to save bullets and stun the one closest to you before getting your shit completely rocked - quick to duck out. The first cut scene of the game comes next where you meet the other main character Claire. You gasp like you’ve been running, shoving the controller towards Rin.

“Your turn. Move, I wanna sit on your bed.”

“Why?”

“Cause it’s a weekend and I have a right to be lazy. Shoo. On the floor.”

“You’re getting way too comfortable in my house on my birthday.”

Rin, does, go sit on the floor where you were. Mostly because it’s a better position to play the game in. At least it has minimal back support. The cut scene plays in the background, nothing difficult as the main characters go to the next area - the police station and the technical start of the game. Rin hasn’t played the remake, but he did longingly watch some playthroughs while he was in Bluelock during its release.

He had never mentioned it to you, so he was shocked you knew enough about it to bring it over. He likes survival horror and he was always wanting to play it.

“Me and your mom are best friends so I practically live here anyways. Also shut-up and look.”

He does shut up, too invested in the story to be annoyed. The main characters get separated and Leon ends up in the streets.

For whatever reason, he’s conscious about proximity. Your knee next to his shoulder. You’re close enough to touch him casually and he’s wondering…hoping to know if you’re naive enough to do it without thinking. It feels like a stroke of luck, or maybe a form of mind-reading when you reach for his hair with your fingers. He wonders if you’re doing it on purpose. He thinks he should tell you to stop.

But when you ask “Is this okay?”

He can’t find the strength in himself to do it. He focuses on the scene in front of him, weaving through the cars to shake off a horde of zombies. Rin grabs the controls, immediately turning around to try and stun a group of zombies before turning into the gate so he can head to the station.

His heart is racing and his eyes almost feel cross from how much he’s focusing but it’s not exactly the game. The game isn’t even that scary, as much as it’s gory he thinks.

“I don’t care but,” He says through a breath, trying to sound like he means it and that he’s not so conscious of the way your pinky lingers on his nape “when’d you get so touchy?”

“I like touching you.” You reply, twirling a strand of hair around your fingers “Your hair is so silky and nice. I felt when I gave you a hug that one time and I kept thinking about it.”

Rin wants to say “Do you think about me that much?” but the words don’t come out how he wants.

“Do you touch everyone like this?”

You’re silent for a minute. It takes patience, effort - not to turn his head to see the look on your face. Though he probably knows it. He thinks he just wants affirmation from you.

“...No. Not really. I just like you.”

There’s a beat of silence - a pause designated for his rejection, the promise he made to you so many months ago. He knows what the script is. And he’s said it many times before. Not in a million years, right?

But he can’t bring himself to say it this time, so he doesn’t.

“Yeah. I know.”

___

Before Rin knows it, the day is coming to a close.

The entirety of it you spend together, with you faithfully stuck to him and without Rin feeling entirely suffocated. He isn’t sure why it’s so easy with you. Normally this much socialization would render him exhausted. Irritable at best and angry at worst. But he’s not. In fact even after his entire workout routine, he felt fine listening to you ramble. He didn’t need complete silence, but even when there were lulls and dips - it didn’t feel uncomfortable.

You didn’t get far in Resident Evil 2. Rin decides to cut it short since it’d definitely take a lot longer than all the time you had and there were movies he wanted to watch. When you whine about not being able to finish - he quietly told you to just come over next time and play it with him then.

He waited a year, so he can wait a little longer. Your face lit up idiotically, giddy with delight at the promise of next time. As promised, ochazuke was for lunch and after 30 minutes of digestion - he put it out of his mind as he did his daily drills. You joined him, insisting that you’d be fine doing nothing. Sat on the field with a book the entire time even though it was cold, tossing him his things whenever he took a break - smiling each time he talked to you.

(“You know you don’t actually need to stay with me the entire day.” He reminds you of this as he brings a bottle of water to lips, sweat dripping down the side of his head even in the cool weather. You turn your head up at him.

“When else am I gonna get to stick by your side all day? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

“You’re so good at being annoying it’s impressive,” He says, dropping his water bottle back down “Aren’t you bored?”

“Huh? No way. I have my fun book to keep me company and on top of that I get to see you play in the flesh.”

Oh, yeah. You mentioned watching him when he was in Bluelock. “Well, it’s not like a match. But I’m not gonna keep asking, so whatever.”

“Yes, yes - I understand. Now go, shoo.”)

Even though Rin practiced for his usually long amount of hours, you sat with him diligently - even stopping to cheer him on when you needed a break from reading or studying or whatever else you were doing.

Upon returning, he went to shower and you went to warm up in the kitchen. After he was redressed and clean, he joined you downstairs to order take-out and have dinner.

Finally, it’s after dinner and you’ve banished Rin to his room while you set something up downstairs. He’s mostly scrolling twitter, watching soccer highlights from the accounts he follows. He’s just about comfortable when you finally call him back down, which irritates him enough to click his teeth but not enough to bring it up to you.

After a long day, when Rin finally comes back down stairs, walking down into the hall and back into the living room - he can’t help but be surprised at the change in scenery. All the lights have been turned low, and everything looks different. You’ve taken to decorating a wall of his living room after some rearranging. A white sheet hanging up with something, and a plethora of fairy lights in stripes going down it in a nice pattern.

There’s a banner and it looks hand-made. It spells out happy birthday, rin in neat, thick blue letters on cut-out white shapes, attached along the back wall. On the table in front, there’s some decoration along with nice paper plates and plastic cutlery and a cake in the middle that’s nicer than he’s expecting.

You beam at him as he walks in. And you’re stupid enough to be wearing a birthday hat, giving him jazz hands as he enters.

“Happy birthday!”

On paper, Rin thinks it’s been something of a boring birthday. He did what he normally would do on a day off but you cooked for him twice. He spent most of it with you, even though it was a lot of nothing. A lot of being together like you were roommates or something. Maybe that's why he’s so reluctant to admit that this is making him feel something.

That the silly theatrics feel meaningful. It is thoughtful, isn’t it? Rin doesn’t think anyone in his entire life has done anything this thoughtful for him. Birthdays are birthdays, and they’ve never really been especially meaningful. He didn’t see the point in just celebrating the day of someone's birth. Certainly, he doesn’t think he’d have it in himself to do something like this for another person.

Rin stares at you. Wearing a stupid birthday hat and the most gleeful, idiotic smile he’s ever seen. All of this for a guy who’s rejected you, but you seem to cherish so much anyways. Apathetic and ungraceful as he is and always will be - he’s so overwhelmed he doesn’t know what to do. What a strange, unrecognizable feeling welling up inside of him. And not even one feeling, but so many so tangled with each other - he can’t see anything straight. His eyes aren’t drawn to the candlelight, or the moon, or the cake.

It’s like a sense of tunnel vision. Where all Rin can really look at is you. It’s happened before. How can anyone be like this, he wonders. Are there people born into the world so unselfishly? And if they are, why would he ever cross paths with them? How could someone so easy to love have any business loving him, in the first place?

Rin won’t ever understand you. He accepts that. He’ll never be able to understand this kind of person. Someone who shines even brighter than the sun.

But he’s not so stupid to not understand himself. He’s unable to say the words he’d promised to you all the way in April. Rin doesn’t like to lie.

He would be lying, that is, if you told him just one more time that you liked him. He’d be lying if it told you it’ll never happen. He’d be lying if he said he doesn’t like you. And it’s not just because you like him, because that never mattered to him in the first place.

Some people are made to be adored. Born special and bright like everything should revolve around them. Perhaps that kind of thing is only afforded to people without ego. With heart and character and charisma.

It doesn’t matter. What a stupid thing to realize on his birthday of all days.

“Rin-kun?”

He blinks.

“Where’d you hide all of this?”

You laugh at him, bubbly and delighted.

“I brought it in a tote and kept it in the kitchen. Mostly stuff from my house, and your mom helped with the cake and stuff. It’s nice right? I did a good job, no?”

Ah. He’s fucked.

“It looks okay.”

You frown, huffing and puffing “Just okay? C’mon, don’t be stingy.”

“Doesn’t begging for compliments defeat the purpose of them.”

“Not to me,”

Your frown deepens and Rin is starting to feel the rose colored glasses set in.

“It’s nice. It’s good.”

“So you like it? You’re happy? Delighted, even? Absolutely overjoyed by-”

“Cut it out or I’m going to send you home.”

“No,” You whine, tugging on his sleeves like you’re worried he really will “I want cake.”

“Then let’s cut the cake?”

“We can’t,” You put your arms up in a cross and Rin gives you a look of confusion. “I promised I’d get a good picture of you.”

“What? Promised who?”

“Your parents, mostly. But also, you should post on your Instagram a little more, no? You’re basically a famous player already, you should have the courtesy to feed your fans.”

Before he can do anything to protest, you usher Rin to sit on the other side of the table before you back with his phone. He stares at you but you only look at him expectantly. Still, he unlocks it and hands it to you. He gives you an irritated sigh (though he isn’t really irritated).

“This is stupid.”

“It’s a good thing to capture memories, you dummy. Now smile,” You say, holding up the camera after some angling “Or don’t. The people do love a good scowl.”

That makes him want to smile. He’s awkward in the photos but he does stay still for them, trying his best not to look ridiculous. You take a few, then pause to come up to the table and light the candles in front of him. He hears the camera shutter one more time before you look up at him over the edge.

“Ready to blow out your candles?”

“I guess.”

Before Rin can do anything about it, he listens to you sing happy birthday - poorly with too much enthusiasm. You’re tone deaf and passionate all at the same time - singing each word with a dramatic flair until you’re on the final word. You can’t clap because you’re recording but you do cheer as he burns the candles out. Once it’s over you stop recording, looking down and swiping through the pictures.

“They turned out good. You should post them.”

“...You’re done taking them?”

You tilt your head to one side.

“Yeah?”

“We didn’t get any together.”

Your eyes widen like he said something shocking.

“...You wanna take them together?”

He scoffs.

“We spent the whole day together.”

You flush, suddenly embarrassed and god.

“I just wasn’t expecting you to want that. I mean we’re friends but-”

“Shut up. And come here.”

So you do, phone still in hand as you mess with your appearance.

“Do you want to take it or do you want me to?”

“Oh, uh lemme just-” You go through a bunch of filters and find one before handing it to him, a nervous expression “You take it cause your arm is longer and you’re taller.”

Rin just nods. Takes the phone from you, and lets you pose a little before he takes the photo. He hands it back to you so you can see, and watches your eyes light up as you stare at it. Stupid.

“It came out nice.” You say. You save it onto his phone before handing it back to him. “Send it to me later?”

“Yeah.”

You give him another grin and Rin takes his phone from you, going through the pictures as he opens up Instagram. He guess it wouldn’t hurt to post. You leave his side, saying something about cutting the cake. But he isn’t looking, really.

He drafts a post as he waits for you. He likes the picture you took together best and decides to put it second. He never has any idea on how to caption these which is why he doesn’t want to post it in the first place. He glances at you, then sighs internally.

itoshirin._ posted for the first time in a while. posted 7 mins ago. liked by isagi_yoichi, bachiraaaaa, and others. itoshirin._ ; 09.09.2002. thanks for everything, stupid. isagi_yoichi commented: no way you’re getting a girlfriend before me. life is so unfair and cruel. isagi_yoichi commented: oh happy birthday btw bachiraaaaa commented: RIN-CHAN !!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶ official_itoshisae: happy birthday. itoshirinsnumberonefan: WHO IS THAT?? yo_hiori: happy birthday!

“Rin, I cut the cake!”

He puts his phone on DND before taking a plate of cake from your hand.

The clock strikes two, and you’re still at Rin’s place.

After a long binge of horror movies, you’re both comfortably in each other's space - only inches away, talking about nothing. The movie ended a little over half an hour ago.

He’s still doing just that, listening to you chatter away next to his ear. The room is completely dark minus the soft glow of the T.V. which gives just enough light for Rin to gaze at your face. Your eyes are wide and sparkly, still, even though it seems like the tiredness is getting to you too.

Neither of you wants to stop talking. You’ve started discussing manga - particularly Rin's favorite manga.

“Ciguatera was interesting,” You say, hugging one of his pillows close to your chest. “I wasn’t sure what to expect.”

“I’m shocked you read it. Seriously. I thought you would’ve forgotten the minute after I told you.”

“Well, yeah. You recommended it, so obviously I wanted to at least try,” You say with a breathless laugh, turning over to face him. You’re facing each other, he realizes a second too late “You’re such a boy, by the way. Weekly young magazine? Really.”

“Shut up.” He says, with no real bite to his words “What were you expecting?”

“Dunno. Didn’t think you were interested in romance of all things. Especially cause Ogino’s kind of a loser.”

“There was other stuff in it.” He points out. You chuckle.

“Yeah. Way raunchier and darker than I thought. But it was mostly about romance. So, I was surprised to say the last.”

“What,” Rin starts, partially offended by the implication “Do you think I'm a soulless machine or something?”

“Well no,” You frown, shaking your head as you stare at him “But you’ve rejected every confession you’ve ever gotten, even from some of the prettiest girls in our entire grade. So I didn’t think you had any interest in that kinda thing.”

He scoffs.”You’re stupid.”

“You tell me all the time,” You point your fingers and place them under your chin. “Why did you reject them, by the way? Just trying to focus on soccer?”

He feels flush, explaining. Turning his gaze to the ceiling, he sighs.

“None of those people actually had feelings for me. It wasn’t meaningful in any way.”

“And you want it to be meaningful?”

“There’s no point being in a relationship with someone I don’t like and barely know. And who doesn’t really care to get to know me. I’m busy enough with soccer, and I don’t have time to entertain lukewarm relationships like that.”

“What an unexpectedly sentimental reason. How soft of you Rin-kun.”

“Shut up.”

There’s a pause of thoughtful silence where you hum and lay flat on your back, reaching your hand up towards the ceilings. Rin can’t do much more than look.

“You know. How I said I’ve been watching you since you were in Bluelock?”

“Yeah.”

“Y’know. I always thought you looked really sad back then. I might’ve been reading too much into it but,” You smile, corners of your lips upturned while you giggle “It’s like…weirdly relieving to see you like this.”

“Like what?”

“You’re like…just a boy,” You say wispy and delighted “A normal boy who reads shitty raunchy magazines and thinks about love. It’s comforting somehow. Makes me feel special. I really like you. A little more every day, it feels like.”

Another beat of silence. He thinks you can sense the hesitance of his rejection. There’s such a tangible shift in the atmosphere. If Rin stretches his hand out to touch it, he thinks he’d push through an impossible barrier and keep falling in it forever. He thinks it would swallow him.

He isn’t sure what it is. If it’s an act of bravery, or a sudden uptick in adrenaline, or if the exhaustion of a long day is finally starting to hit. Maybe it’s just these feelings that keep overwhelming him that make his body move. Something outside of his mind, nestled in his ribs, that has him inching closer to you.

He flips until he’s hovering over you. Your eyes widen and you stare at him. He stares back, like he almost can’t believe himself.

“Rin-kun?”

And he freezes. The confidence dissipates as soon as he finds it but now he’s above you, on top of you. You’re messy and flush from the day. Your mascara is smudged and your lipgloss is gone - leaving a faint sheen on your mouth that matches your skin. Your hoodie is rumpled around the shoulders - one of the sleeves pulled to your elbows. Rin really gets a look at you. Cognizant of the fact he spent all day with you. That’s why you look worn and sleepy and so unbelievably cute. So cute it annoys him. Irritates him half to death.

You open your mouth again, only to close it. It almost feels like he can hear your heart. Or maybe it’s his. It’s hard to know the difference.

“Is this a n-new kind of bullying?” You joke, trying to ease the tension. He frowns at you.

“Does it seem like I’m joking?”

Your eyes widen and you turn away. Rin wants to make you look.

“Well no but…” And you squirm a little “what are you doing?”

He doesn’t know, either.

“I don’t know.” He admits, and you laugh a little breathless and the tension is so thick Rin can’t swallow around it “I want to kiss you.” He blurts out. Awkward and uncharismatic and clumsy.

A bout of silence.

“...Am I going insane? Did you just say you want to kiss me?”

“I did.”

More silence.

“Why? Wouldn’t that make me your first kiss?”

“It would.”

“And isn’t that like… reserved for your special someone?”

“It is.”

“Rin-kun,” You breathe out, blinking in disbelief “Do you even know what you’re saying?”

“I do.”

You’re a little more serious this time. You put your hand on his shoulder. He feels like the Earth is gonna fall from under his feet.

“Stop messing with me.”

“I’m not.”

You frown.

“Do you really want to kiss me?”

“Yeah,” He can’t think “I do.”

You reach up for him. You’re more experienced with this kind of thing and it shows as you cup the nape of his neck. He doesn’t finch. He doesn’t look away from you either, as your thumb brushes under his eyes - the both of you so wrapped up in each other nothing matters. Rin would stay in this forever, if someone gave him the option.

“W-we have to talk about this afterwards, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’m serious, Itoshi Rin. Because you can’t just—”

Your palm cups his cheek and he rubs against it instinctively. He sees your eyes widen and you swallow - a frown still etched into your features.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Your voice goes as soft as a whisper.

“You’re so unfair.”

He almost laughs.

“Please kiss me.” He asks, so silently it almost goes unheard but he knows you hear it because your lips press into a thin line before you’re pulling Rin down towards you. Your lips are soft. And warm. And they taste faintly like whip-cream and the slight sour of strawberries and your hands are so gentle. Somehow he feels at ease even though he feels like he’s going to implode on himself from nerves.

Just a little deeper before you pull away and stare at him. Rin looks back, eyes jumping from your lips up to your eyes and back down to your lips. You open your mouth to say something. Mumbling his given name only for him to cut you off with another kiss, a little deeper this time. The way it shuts you up is so cute it almost makes him angry. How it muffles your words, tapers off into a noise of surprise and ends up just back at a kiss.

He’s never felt like this kind of thing was a viable option. Itoshi Rin is an antisocial, angry, and apathetic soccer protege and he has no time in the world for anything lukewarm. He’s rejected every confession he’s ever received in his life and always thought of relationships as something far off and disconnected to him in his entirety.

Perpetually unloveable but maybe not in such an angsty, vulnerable way. Like a law of the universe. A truth, like thinking of him, means to postulate that he is that way. A prerequisite to understanding him.

Rin doesn’t like things that are half-ass. Perhaps, part of the reason he likes you so much is because you’ve proved him wrong in such an utterly defeating way. The fact your very existence is by and large, the antithesis of this truth.

Itoshi Rin is not only loveable, but he is capable of loving. There is evidence of it, right underneath him now - with soft lashes and wet eyes and the brightest smile that could ever exist.

And it’s haunting for more reasons than one. But he likes how unyielding the revelation is. You’re worried he’ll want to avoid it, and he does. But he doesn’t think he could forever, even if he tried.

He’s confident if he made the attempt, you’d come barreling towards him once more. With all the confidence in the world. It makes him want to at least try to face it.

Which is why he’s kissing you a second, third, and fourth time. Which is why he’s looking at you in between, wide blue eyes transfixed on every part of your face. He’s trying to face what daunts him most, not like but love and the difference is more important as the days pass.

You pull away, finally - put a hand on his chest and stare.

“Rin-kun,” You whisper, uncertain of yourself which he hates. “I like you. I really like you.” And again, a little softer “And I want you to like me too,” Like that had been the biggest secret of all. Something you’d never told anyone, even once.

Rin can’t imagine it. Have you been holding in something like this all this time? He only realized a couple hours ago and it already feels like he’s going to rip apart at the seams.

“I do. I do like you.”

“Really? Forreal? Seriously? You’re not pulling my leg? Yanking my chain?”

He knocks his forehead against yours.

“Be quiet. How can you be this stupid in the middle of getting confessed to?”

You pout. Pout at him, all whiny. God.

“It doesn’t feel real to me.”

He laughs humorlessly. “It’s all a dream. You’ll forget it all in the morning.”

“Stop being mean to me.”

He has to be. If he’s not you’re going to see right through him.

“No,” He says instead “Stop being so ridiculous first.”

“An impossible ask to the world's most ridiculous girl.”

He smiles a little.

“That’s a good name for you. I’ll change your contact.”

“Nooo,” You say again, this time pulling him down for a hug. His eyes widened. And he’s unfair? “Be nice to your girlfriend.”

He doesn’t have anything to say to that. It flusters him too, admittedly. Before he can think of a counter, you yawn big and wide. Rin is still on top of you and neither of you have brushed your teeth. He was planning on putting you up in the guest room, but currently you’re clinging to him half-away. And he has no such plans of telling you to move.

“I’m so tired.”

Rin feels like he’s going to pass out, He mumbles.

“You can sleep.”

“Want you to sleep too.”

Rin closes his eyes. He couldn’t refuse even if he wanted to. You’ll have to talk about it in the morning.

“Okay.”

“Rin? Where’s your frie—oh!”

Rin stirs the minute his mom enters the room. It only takes him a minute to regain consciousness and by the time he’s awake - he’s already regretting not locking his door.

He continues to pretend to be asleep. He thinks you still are because you’re comfortably slotted in his arms. Rin is so embarrassed he wants to die. He hears his mom gasp, and then quietly shouts for his father to come to his room.

“What are you—oh.”

Rin is going to have the worst morning of his life whenever they leave. He remains still. He hears the shutter of a camera and grits his teeth all the way in the back of his jaw.

“Oh this will make a great wedding photo.”

His dad laughs a little to himself, ushering his mother out of the room “Don’t get carried away,”

When the door finally clicks, Rin opens his eyes and lets out a breath of relief. Much to his shock, he also feels you stir. His eyes widen when you turn to him, your face painted in utter mortification before you bury it in your hands. He stares at you as you groan, kicking your feet.

“Oh god I��m going to cry. How am I going to face her? Oh my god”

Rin scoffs a little at your dramatics. It calms him down in a strange way “She’s not gonna say anything to you. She’s probably only going to bully me about it.”

“I’ve forsaken you, mother-in-law”

Rin nudges your ribs, blush crawling up his face.

“Shut up.”

Up until three weeks ago, Rin didn’t take issue with the way you interacted at school.

You two have a pretty strict policy about it. Though you’re in the same class and you chat occasionally in the halls - you tend to avoid Rin where you can. Originally, this made sense. For the sake of his comfort and yours, the best choice was sneaking to the roof together to eat where you could remain mostly undisturbed.

As such, Rin has never been particularly consciousness of your presence in the classroom. For starters, you’re always somewhere. A busybody of the highest pedigree and always running errands - even if Rin were to try to talk to you he can only really find you 20 percent of the time. Secondly, unlike Rin, you have a handful of friends surrounding you. Rin has interacted with them very briefly but you (seemingly for his sake) try not to force him out of his comfort zone too much by making you all sit together. The most Rin has gotten from them is a single knowing smirk or glance.

And lastly, before three weeks ago, it would’ve been a big problem if people started getting onto either of you about a relationship that didn’t exist. That would've been all around awkward and uncomfortable and maybe would’ve deterred your future endeavors with other guys.

That was when you and Itoshi Rin were in fact not dating.

Three weeks into your relationship and nothing much has changed, though nowadays you come over to his house on weekends where you can. You’ve even been on one date after his dad (of all people) hounded him about never taking you on a proper one.

You text the same as you did before, and you call Rin a little more often. Usually for the purposes of rambling so much you tucker yourself out and fall asleep.

But at school, Rin only really sees you for the spare minutes of lunch and not much more than that. He’s never really thought about it before. It was never enough of an issue to warrant his intervention.

It’s not like he cares, okay?

But he’s more aware of it, now - frustratingly enough. You really don’t see each other often enough in school and you have many more guy friends than he had ever considered before. Every time he catches you and Murata-senpai trekking down the hall he feels his blood pressure rise.

You and Rin have both decided, though. Despite his posting of you, neither of you have confirmed the relationship. Rin is immune to the prying and you’re good at dodging it altogether. This is the agreement.

It is therefore very irrational of him to be thinking of speaking up at this current moment in time.

Despite your mutual decision to keep things as private as possible, Rin has heard nothing but gossip about the situation for weeks. Outside of the usual, direct kind of prying - there’s whispers and stares and all sorts of other things. Rin doesn’t care about it. He’s used to it, it’s part of the gig and the neo-egoist league made him near immune.

It’s all the things directed at you that make him seethe. Misplaced jealousy and the disappointed remarks of guys in class that make him feel like his blood pressure is rising. The latter is what’s making him most irritated now. How fucking long are these idiots going to talk about this?

“Dude, you had like three years to confess,” Some idiot, who’s name Rin doesn’t know is still yapping “If she’s actually dating Mr.Popular then it’s on you for fucking yourself over.”

The other idiot in question groans, and Rin forces his face to remain impassive as he listens. He tries to stop listening. More than once, actually. But they just keep going.

“I didn’t think he’d actually do it dude. Like there’s no way, right? He rejected every single girl who ever confessed to him. I thought she was safe. And now my highschool love is forever ruined.”

Like he ever stood a chance. How ridiculous.

Another one of the goons speaks up “Dunno. Neither of them have said anything right? You miss all of the shots you don’t take.”

“Are you saying I should just confess to her anyway? She got posted on his Instagram dude.”

A smirk appears on Extra Three’s face “No confirmation means fair game. Stop being pussy and do it.”

“You think I stand a chance against that dude?”

Rin can feel all three pairs' eyes hit him at once.

“Nah. Not a chance. But you could always wait till she’s all heartbroken and comfort her, right? Hook, line, and sinker.”

“I hear when girls are heartbroken they’re like way more likely to let you—”

With that, Rin stands to his feet. He’s seething. It’s ridiculous. It’s stupid. He should definitely just leave to go cool his head but he’s so fucking angry it’s hard to sit still and he has no other way of dealing with his feelings. So he walks towards the table slowly, eyes darkened and just barely holding it in

He knows this is a bad idea. He can feel the whole classroom look at him as he slams his hand down on the desk. But he doesn’t care. He’ll deal with it later.

“You’d be fucking lucky if my girlfriend ever looked your way.”

As soon as Rin says it, there's a thud at the door-way of the classroom. When he looks up you’re there with your eyes widened. Rin just looks back, impassive and immune to the sudden uproar of whispers.

He only clicks his teeth when you grab him by the sleeve of his uniform - cracking a small smile as he hears the faint words “Just give up dude.” as he leaves.

Up on the roof top, you’re shaking Rin by the shoulders - visibly distressed.

“Hey! What the hell was that?”

“What.” He offers, not willing to budge on the situation. In the first place he’s a little irritated by all of it. And he’s a little irritated by how much you’ve been enforcing the no-talking rule. Right now, it really feels like he can’t take it anymore.

You frown deeply, distress only growing as the time passes in uncomfortable silence. Rin doesn’t want to be civil about it. About it and about you and about those idiots.

“We had an agreement!” You say, grabbing him by the front of his shirt, though it’s weak. He stares down at you.

“So what?”

“Rin, we talked about this. Don’t be like this.”

“Like what.”

“Pissy and weird. You’re being weird and I don’t like it. It’s making me sad.”

“How am I being—”

Before Rin can proceed with his sentence, he catches a glimpse of your face in the midst of his tantrum. Sad like a puppy who got its tail stepped on and about ready to cry, he immediately seals his mouth in fear of making it worse.

“Why are you doing that?” He spits.

“Doing what?”

“Being all sad and pathetic. Does it really bother you that much if people know we’re dating?”

“It’s not like that.” You assure.

“Then what is it?” Rin prods, frustrated but not wanting to make things worse “Why is it such a big deal?”

There’s a bout of silence before you sigh.

“Rin, you’re a huge soccer player. The people you’re dating and stuff - it’s a big deal,”

Rin cuts you off.

“That’s what you were worried about? My career?”

“Well, yeah.”

“You’re stupid.”

“Hey! I’m seriously worried about it and then you go and—”

He gives you a frown. He forgets all too often you’re like this. He’s used to your silly and unserious way of talking, so it slips his mind that you’re actually a massively responsible person. You probably have a point about it, thinking of the consequences of your relationship through hell and back. With a detached sense of rationality - Rin can recognize that you’re probably thinking about more things than this. Otherwise it wouldn’t be so touchy of a subject.

Nothing’s changed on paper, but everything will eventually. It’s something to think about, admittedly.

Honestly Rin doesn’t care what strangers think. He’s blunt and unfriendly. Always has been, and will continue to be through the majority of his career he’s absolutely sure. Even outside of Bluelock, he has almost no regard for the opinions of other people and what concerns them. Maybe it’s irresponsible, but Rin isn’t playing soccer for the approval of the populace and nothing will ever change that.

“If I thought that was something I should worry about, we wouldn’t be dating.”

You look up at him.

“You should be worried about it.” You emphasize.

“I’m not. I don’t care what any of those people think.”

“Then why’d you go and say something?”

Rin seethes.

“They deserved it.”

Your hand reaches for his cheek. He pauses and takes a deep breath, staring at you. He leans into your touch instinctively, frustration eased by the sensation. You stare back.

“Okay. We’ll announce it officially later, then.”

“Do we even need to do that? If you tell three people, half of our grade’ll find out anyway.”

“Are you saying my friends gossip?”

He doesn’t reply to that. You pout at him and Rin fights the urge to kiss you. There’s a beat of silence as you give him a hug - the two of you on the same roof you always are. Rin doesn’t mind it, wrapping his arms loosely around your waist.

“You know, it’s gonna get busy for me soon.” You mumble. So this is what else you were worrying about. “And for you. I have my entrance exam and the school is in Tokyo. And you’re gonna go back to Bluelock and—”

“It’ll be fine.”

“I’m worried about it anyways.”

“About what?”

“I’ll see you less. What if you stop liking me randomly and I can’t even hunt you down about it?”

Rin huffs “You’re insane enough to find me,” He drops his chin on your shoulder “Plus you talk to my mom.”

“You’re gonna be so busy.”

“I’ll come see you when I’m not.”

“And you’re going to be surrounded by the human equivalent of siren women someday soon.”

“I don’t care about that.”

“But you might.”

“I haven’t in eighteen years, you moron.”

“I’m gonna miss you all the time.” You say, sniffly and Rin is so struck with a feeling of affection he almost falls “I already miss you all the time.”

He squeezes you a little tighter “It’ll be fine.”

“For you.”

Rin furrows his brow, pulling back to stare at you.

“Not for me,” Because Rin can begrudgingly admit he will miss you worse than this “Just in general. It’ll be fine. You almost made it a year without me.”

“But now I’m with you,” You reply easily, and softly and oh-so in love Rin wants to turn away “And I’m so happy and I want it be like this for a long time,”

“Just a long time? Not something stupid like a blossoming eternity?”

“I thought I’d scare you.”

“You did that in April.” He points out flatly. You hit him lightly but smile anyway.

“It’s a problem how much I like you.”

Rin likes you just as much. You’re probably too much of an idiot to realize and won’t for a long while. He takes a little comfort in, strangely.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll come see you.” He says again, because it’s the only thing he can think to say. He believes in it thoroughly. If Rin were a better, more candidly vulnerable person he thinks now he’d give the loving boyfriend speech. He almost wants to half-assedly try but can’t bring himself to get past the awkwardness. He hugs you tighter because it’s all he’s capable of, and hopes he can will it into you. The sincerity of his words, he wants so badly for them to reach you “Stop worrying so much.”

“Rin-kun,” You start, then pause to look up at him. His breath hitches “Rin. I love you. Really.”

He feels like he’s gonna be sick as he stares at you, eyes widened. You look the same as you always do. Unexpectant, terribly sincere, with your heart on your sleeve. The more Rin knows you, the more he thinks it can’t be easy to be so vulnerable all the time.

So you do it for him, and only him. And Rin is always going to be intolerable. Frustrating and impatient. But he wants to do it for you too, where he can. Rin wants you to know it’ll be fine because the fact that you’re standing here now is nothing short of a miracle. Nothing comes out right.

“Yeah.” He says, but he can’t get the rest of words out. And you laugh, and peek up at him through your lashes.

“And you love me too, don’t you?”

Rin grits his teeth. He wants to say no.

“I guess.”

“And we’re going to be just fine.” You repeat, hugging him tight. Rin hugs you back. He wants to say thank you. He wants to kiss you stupid and make fun of you at the same time. He wants you so much and so often he’s sure he’s lost his fucking mind.

But he agrees with you, at least. He nods. He holds you. He doesn’t like to lie, so he looks at you instead.

“Yeah. It’s gonna be fine.”

EPILOGUE ;

In Rin’s defense, he’s not trying to listen in on the conversions of your underclassmen.

For starters, the club door is cracked up and Rin only has one airpod fully charged. Secondly, it’s not like they’re being quiet. Rin’s pretty sure anyone with decent enough hearing could hear them from down the hall. Given that it’s the newspaper club, he’s sure that the conversation isn’t usually this interesting.

It’s just when he catches wind of your name while you’re nowhere to be found, he finds himself eavesdropping just a little. He leans back into the chair he’s sitting in, face tucked into his black mask and hat pulled neatly over his head.

“Guys, I’ve decided I’m going to confess to Boss no matter what.”

He must mean you. Rin often hears how some of the people in the club affectionately add danchou to the end of your name. Rin scoffs a little at the kids' confidence. It reminds him a little of highschool. Rin really think you’re at more of a risk than he is. Being a celebrity makes him naturally unattainable - more of a fixture than a person.

Everytime someone confesses to you though it’s sincere. From knowing you. And he gets it but it doesn’t keep him from scoffing and turning his nose up.

“It’d be a good idea to give up while you’re ahead.” Says another unnamed voice.

“Yeah Nakao-san. Do you even know who Senpai's boyfriend is?”

“N-no. But it doesn’t matter. Through the powerful of love I’ll—”

Before Rin gets a chance to listen anymore, he hears your voice call out for him. He snaps his head up to look at you. You’re dressed so professionally it’s hard to recognize you like that. Your hair is cut neat and styled professionally and you’re dressed in business casual. He’s relieved he brought shoes for you to change into.

You run up to him anyway, and Rin stands up to make sure you don’t stumble as you throw your arms around his neck. You’re closer in height with your heels on so he doesn’t have to bend down much at all to kiss you. He pulls down his mask quickly.

“Rin-tan, you’re here.” You say with a soft, breathless giggle “I missed youuu.”

“Missed you too,” He says, an arm squeezed around your waist “I have shoes for you in the car,”

You gasp, rubbing your cheek against his affectionately.

“You’re the best in the world. My feet are so sore.”

“Did the interview go well?” Rin asks. You pull away, moving your hair away from your eyes before nodding.

“Uh-huh. The women's rugby team captain is super chill and she interviews great so it went smoothly. I just need to drop the transcript off and then we can leave,” You say holding his hand. He squeezes your palms “Do you want to meet them? You don’t have to but a lot of them ask about you.”

Normally Rin would say no. But he’s feeling a little petty today, after all.

“Sure.”

You beam, your hand in his as you nudge the door open. The room goes silent, a bout of excited cheering following at your return. He’s relieved to see you’re still so well loved, a little reluctant to let go of your hand.

“Senpai, you’re back.”

“Yup, yup. I have the transcript and recording on this USB. Watch it and draft the article up tonight. When I come in tomorrow, we’ll go through editing and get it out by Monday.” You say, hand on hip before remembering his presence. You grab him and Rin follows “Oh, and guys - this is my boyfriend! Rin Itoshi.”

Most of them seem to know. Rin can sense the admiration but it’s respectful. He can tell that everyone is professionals in the field. Rin likes that. He bows politely.

“Nice to meet everyone,”

“Nice to meet you too, Itoshi-san.”

“Danchou…you’re dating Rin Itoshi…the famous soccer player Rin Itoshi?”

You giggle, looping your arm in Rin’s. He laughs internally. It’s the same kid who wanted to confess to you.

“Uh-huh. We’re highschool sweethearts! And today is our very special date night so don’t contact me for any reason until tomorrow morning at least. I’ll see you guys later.”

“Bye, senpai.”

“Have fun on your date.”

With that, you turn the corner and leave the room - immediately beginning to ramble about your day. Rin half-listens. He only pays complete attention when he hears your kouhais talking from down the hall.

“Told you to give up, dude.”

“Rin. Are you paying attention?”

He chuckles to himself.

“Yeah. Sorry.”

❁ a/n ; hello!! me again. first of alll, if you read through this whole fic, thank you so much. second of all i want to discuss a few things about this fic.

im usually pretty keen on localization for my fics where possible because i think it makes for a smoother reader experience - however the usage of honorifics was important to the atmosphere for this one so i'll hope it wasn't too awkward to read.

secondly, im nervous about rins characterization for this one so i hope it was alright. apologies for any errors its 5am and im soo tired.

this fic was mostly meant as an exploration of how i think rin would really benefit from being with someone eccentric and bubbly. the core of their relationship is that reader is an overall emotionally intelligent and honest person and how that has a huge influence on rin so i hope that growth came thru. once again thanks for reading and i hope u enjoyed. rbs and tags always appreciated!

#itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin fluff #bllk x reader #bllk fluff #writing tag #rin x reader #rin fluff #my brother in christ... how did this happen.

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nicoline1998enilocin · 2 months

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Red and Gold

PAIRING || Sugar Daddy!Tony Stark x Sugar Baby!Fem!Reader

WORDCOUNT || 4.1K

SUMMARY || Tony is bringing you along to a charity event, but this time, you decide to surprise him with your outfit. The moment he finds out you're wearing his colors, he has to restrain himself from tearing it off you and having his way with you right then and there.

RATING || Explicit (E)

TAGS || Sugar Daddy AU. Sugar Daddy!Tony Stark. Sugar Baby!Reader. Heaps and heaps of tooth-rotting fluff.

WARNINGS || Unspecified age gap. Use of nicknames (Sugar). Use of Y/N. Mutual pining. Idiots in love. Sexual tension. Explicit sexual content. Feral Tony Stark. Referenced heartbreak.

SMUT || Daddy kink. Dirty talk. Begging. Praise. Degradation. Hair pulling. Oral (F receiving). Beard burn. Spanking. Semi-public sex. Clothed sex. Rough sex. Unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!). Cream pie. Aftercare.

A/N || The idea for this one-shot has been living rent-free in my head, and I am happy to say that with the help of @ccbsrmsf1, this story has finally come to life! This is proofread by the lovely @ccbsrmsf1 as well, for which I'm forever grateful. Thank you for everything you do for me; I love you! 💙

A/N 2.0 || I used writing prompt #2422 from @promptsforthestrugglingauthor while writing this story. From the moment I saw it months ago, I knew I had to use it in a story, and I'm happy to say I finally found the perfect one to incorporate it into! 💙

EVENTS Masterlist || @fandom-free-bingo Book night || "Look At Me." Masterlist || @fandom-free-bingo Book night || Sexual Tension Masterlist || @fandom-free-bingo Wild || Love Confession Masterlist || @mcukinkbingo || Having sex while clothed

Banners: @nicoline1998enilocin || Divider: @rookthornesartistry || Photo: @ccbsrmsf1

Main Masterlist || Tony Stark Masterlist || AU Masterlist

Sugar's POV

It's a beautiful day today, and you're sitting outside the coffee shop on your college campus, a hot cup of coffee and a pastry on the table, along with your laptop. On the screen is the face of someone you haven't seen in almost a month but who you miss more than anyone: Tony Stark.

He's seated in his office, his phone propped up as he eats his lunch while talking to you - a habit you two have subconsciously slipped into a few months ago. Seeing how your lunchtimes overlap most of the time, you spend 30 minutes to an hour keeping each other up to date on everything, and today, the topic of conversation is tonight's charity event you're both attending.

"Why won't you hint at your outfit, Sugar? I've already shown you mine, so it's only fair you show me yours," he tries again with a soft smile, and you feel the butterflies in your stomach go wild as you look at him.

"Because, Tony, it's a surprise. I've told you that before, and I'll tell you again now. I want to surprise you tonight because we haven't seen each other outside of FaceTime in a while. And I may have gotten something special that I'd like to hide from you," you say as you wiggle your brows, and Tony's cheeks flush at your teasing.

"Not fair," Tony pouts before taking another bite of his lunch, making you laugh.

"Life's not always fair, sorry," you respond, sipping your coffee as your eyes slip shut. The liquid warms you from the inside out, spreading a content smile.

"Are you sure you won't be able to drive to the event together, Sugar?" Tony tries one last time, and you shake your head. Between classes until 7, getting ready for the event, and meeting Tony beforehand, there won't be enough time to join him, so you will have to meet him on the red carpet.

"I'm sure, Tony. I wish I could, but unless you want me to wear my casual outfit, I prefer to go home first and meet you on the red carpet instead. But I promise you I'll make it worth your while later tonight," you say with a wink, and Tony almost chokes on his food as he realizes what you're referencing.

Just as he's about to respond, a notification on your screen lets you know it's time to head to your next class. A sad feeling settles in your chest as you say goodbye to Tony, whose face shows a hint of disappointment that you must go.

"I can't wait to see you tonight, Sugar. I'm looking forward to seeing what you have in store for me," he says before you both say your last goodbyes and you head to class.

Luckily, the remaining classes seem to fly by, and once it's finally time to go home, you can feel the butterflies in your stomach go wild at the thought of seeing Tony again in an hour or two. Your dress and accessories have been picked out and laid on your bed in preparation, and your hair has been washed this morning to save time.

The moment you step into your apartment, you're running from one place to another to get ready as quickly as possible while eating some leftover pasta salad you made for dinner last night. Your hair is straightened before being put into a ponytail, a few pieces left out to frame your face, and you opt for a red and gold makeup look to finish your look.

Lastly, it's time for your dress: a deep-red off-shoulder gown that reaches down to the floor and has a split on your right side that reaches mid-thigh to show off your leg. Combined with gold jewelry, high heels, and a matching gold bag, you're ready to go on time.

After one last look in the mirror, you hear a car honking outside - letting you know that the car Tony has sent to pick you up has arrived.

"Good evening, Ms. Y/L/N," Happy says with a nod, and you smile at him as you greet him.

"Good evening, Happy. Thank you for picking me up," you tell him before getting in the back of the large car, careful not to bang your head or trip on anything. The second you're seated, you let out a soft sigh, and your heart hammers against your ribcage, trying to escape as the realization sinks in that you're almost reunited with Tony.

But most of all, you're curious to see his reaction because you're wearing red and gold—his colors.

Tony's POV

It's been a long day already for Tony, filled with long meetings, and it's about to become even longer now that he's at the charity event. Pepper has also been asking him countless questions today, and all he wants now is to see you again; he wants a piece of his sweet, beautiful Sugar. At this point, knowing that he'll be reunited with you soon is the only thing that keeps him from walking out of here with zero fucks to give.

He has already passed countless photographers and is now being interviewed. However, he's sure that his answers are barely usable, now that you have completely taken over his thoughts. His mind is miles away from the moment at hand, after all.

Just when the interviewer is about to ask the next question, Happy pulls up in the car he sent to pick you up, and it's all Tony can focus on now. Time seems to have slowed as the door swings open in slow motion, and each of your legs emerges from the large, black vehicle.

First, he sees your golden shoes complementing your skin tone beautifully, and then he sees the bottom of your red, floor-length gown. His heart is hammering against his chest as he's holding his breath in anticipation of the rest of you—which will be gorgeous, without a shadow of a doubt.

Happy extends his hand, and you grab it to get up carefully. Tony sees the dark red nails that match your dress perfectly, and his mind instantly wanders to how they will feel as they scratch his back later, feeling himself chub up in his bright white pants.

Every last drop of blood officially rushes south as you step out of the car and into the spotlight. After thanking Happy for the ride, you face the red carpet with a bright, wide smile on your lips as you spot Tony, and you wave shyly at him before being led to the giant wall of photographers.

Men and women shout your name left, right, and center while Tony can do nothing else but stare at you in absolute awe. The woman interviewing Tony has given up and moved on to someone else, all while he looks like he's nailed to the floor, his jaw slightly slack at the sight of you.

The dress hugs your curves in the best way possible, and Tony's heart beats faster than ever as he looks at you, enjoying yourself on the red carpet. You have joined him enough times, and you two have been the headlines of many tabloids since your arrangement started, so everyone is well aware of who you are.

When you extend your hand towards Tony, letting him know you also want some photos together, he immediately rushes over to where you're standing. If he weren't already deeply in love with you before this moment, he definitely would be now, though he wouldn't dare to admit it out loud. He doesn't want to ruin your relationship, after all.

As soon as your hand makes contact with his, you both feel a shock of electricity going through your body. Tony lifts it to his mouth, kissing the tender skin of the back of your hand, causing a deep red blush to spread across your cheeks, but you also feel superb as he does it. He never fails to make you feel like a princess.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you did this just for me," he says as he looks at you with pure love. His glasses frame his face in a way that makes him look even more handsome than usual, and they complement his bright white suit.

"I told you I wanted to surprise you, and I believe it worked," you say as you reposition yourself against his side, the leg that was exposed by the slit of your dress is bent slightly while your hand covers his arc reactor under his shirt, which helps to ground you a little bit as well.

"Let's get a move on, Sugar. I can't wait any longer to be buried deep inside your tight, sweet pussy," Tony whispers in your ear before grabbing your hand and pulling you away. His heart beats faster with every step, and his cock is straining hard against his pants. Seeing you has made him horny, and he is going to make sure he will have his relief - preferably by burying his thick, hard cock deep inside the hot, tight, velvet walls he's missed so much.

He needs you badly, and he needs you now.

It doesn't take long for Tony to find an empty closet, and without a care in the world, he opens the door before pulling you inside with him and pushing you against it once it's closed. Tony's lips are on yours instantly, and you welcome his tongue immediately, savoring his taste after almost a month of not seeing each other.

The kiss is messy, and it's a combination of tongue and teeth as his fingers glide over your exposed thigh, the other hand pulling your hips against the straining bulge in his pants.

"God, I missed you so fucking much, Sugar. Missed having that perfect little pussy wrapped around my cock, and your lips sucking my soul out through my cock," he pants while he works your panties down your legs, all while your hands are wrapped around his neck, your forehead pressed against his as your breaths are mingling.

"Missed you too, Daddy," you say before capturing his lips to suppress the moan leaving your lips, but he quickly pulls back after hearing you say that.

"What-" is all he can get out before you move your hands from his neck down to his pants, unbuttoning it quickly before pulling out his achingly hard cock. Your bottom lip is pulled between your teeth as you look at him with a shimmer of mischief in your eyes, a smirk tugging at the corners of your mouth.

"I need you to fuck me, Daddy, please," you beg softly, and it's exactly what he does. Your dress is quickly pushed up and out of the way so he has the access he needs, and he guides his shaft back and forth through your folds, making you gasp each time it nudges your sensitive clit.

"So fucking wet for me already, huh? Nothing but a dirty, desperate little slut for Daddy to fuck whenever he wants. Letting me fuck you in a closet where everyone can walk in at any moment - I'm sure it makes you fucking drip for me," he says through gritted teeth as he lines up his cock, not pushing in just yet, but letting his hand glide back and forth over his length.

"Y-yes, Daddy! 'M your slut," you tell him in a breathy tone as you look through half-lidded eyes at him, mouth slightly slack as you feel him pumping his cock up and down, your nails digging into his shoulders in anticipation of what's to come.

"If you want to be a good slut for Daddy, you will need to keep quiet for me right now, Sugar," he says, and without any other warning, he shoves his cock in with a single thrust, and his lips instantly crash onto yours to swallow the loud moan that was spilling over.

Tony's thick, strong fingers are digging into your thighs as he thrusts in and out of you at a strong, rapid pace that has your eyes rolling back and your pussy fluttering around his cock, the length of it hitting your sweet spot with every thrust.

Your nails are digging harder into Tony's shoulders, and it only spurs him on as he builds both your highs, your orgasms barreling closer at an alarming pace. Suddenly, Tony's mouth is gone from yours, and he carefully grabs your jaw with his right hand, his left one holding you still.

"Look at me, Sugar, look at me when you cum on my cock. Fuck, need you to cum on my cock like the good slut you are for Daddy," he groans, and you nod as soon as your eyes find his intense gaze, the usual dark brown entirely replaced by the black of his pupils.

"Cream my fucking cock, Sugar, and I'll fuck you so full of my cum it'll leak out of you for the rest of the fucking evening, dripping down these delicious thighs of yours before I fuck it right back into this tight, warm pussy when we're in my penthouse," he pants. Still, all you can do is whimper softly as you're trying not to scream as he repeatedly hits your G-spot.

The moment your orgasm washes over you, your nails are digging hard into Tony's shoulders, and his mouth is immediately back on yours as he fucks you through it, your legs trembling heavily in the process. He whispers soft praise as you come down from your high, and it's only when he pulls out that you notice he has cum, too, his seed nestled deep inside you.

"Such a good girl for Daddy; I missed you so much," he whispers as he peppers your face with soft, gentle kisses, and you smile shyly up at him. You always feel extra vulnerable after you've had an orgasm, but he has learned how to handle that, making sure you won't crash after your high.

"M such a lucky man to have you by my side, Sugar," he whispers before placing a kiss on your forehead, followed by one on the tip of your nose, and he finishes with a last peck on your lips when you've found your footing again, and you're steady on your feet.

"Thank you, Tony," you whisper, and he smiles. Just before you two leave the closet, Tony picks up your panties from the floor and tucks them in the pocket of his pants as a little souvenir to remember what you two just did.

Surprisingly, the charity event went by quickly, but you and Tony decided not to stay for the afterparty this time. You two have been eyeing and teasing each other ever since you emerged from the closet, wanting nothing more than to make each other fall apart a couple more times before falling asleep in each other's arms.

Happy has picked both of you up, and there's a comfortable silence in the car as Tony's hand draws abstract figures on your thigh. You look out the window at the New York City skyline. It has always been one of your favorite cities, and when you decided to study here, you couldn't wait to explore it all.

Somewhere along the way, you met Tony, and now you're seated in the back of a large SUV on your way to his penthouse, where you two will undoubtedly spend the entire night pulling orgasm after orgasm out of each other.

The moments between Happy dropping both of you off and the elevator ride to his penthouse are a blur. The only thing you remember is Tony kissing you fiercely in the elevator, hands wandering everywhere until you had to let go, and he would lead you to his large bedroom.

Now, you're standing in front of the large floor-to-ceiling windows. As you look over the Manhattan skyline, Tony stands behind you with his hands on your shoulders. Your heels have already been kicked off, making him considerably taller than you are.

"I can't believe you had the nerve to show up looking like this, Sugar. Wearing my colors was such a bold move, and I can't say anything other than that I'm impressed," Tony tells you as you meet his gaze in the window.

"You must bring it out in me, Tony. Because I know for sure I would never have been able to do something so bold without you by my side," you answer as you take the last step back until your back is against his chest. Your eyes flutter shut as his arms wrap around you, and you hold his forearms as you stand there for a moment, basking in the moment's intimacy.

"As much as I love seeing you in that dress, I know for sure it'll look even better when it's on the floor," he tells you, making you chuckle as you let go of his arms, and he pulls the zipper on your side down. The fabric falls to the floor in one flowy movement, leaving you entirely bare for him.

"Perfect," he whispers, his nose nuzzling your neck while his hands glide down your sides until they land on your hips, where he makes a move to turn you around as he sinks to his knees. His fingers glide over the soft skin on your thighs and calves, before grabbing one of them and hooking them over his shoulder, opening you up beautifully for him.

Your glistening, puffy folds are on display as Tony licks his lips in anticipation, and he groans softly when you let your fingers glide into his hair, pulling softly to get him to the place where you need him most. Without a second thought, he flattens his tongue as he licks a stripe from your entrance to your clit, and you throw your head back as he teases your sensitive nub a bit with the tip of his tongue.

"D-Daddy," you moan as your hips roll against his face, the friction causing a jolt of pleasure to go through your entire body. Tony's hands are holding you up firmly, his fingers pushing into the flesh of your hips to steady you.

With expert precision and the enthusiasm of a puppy, he eats you out like a starved man, and before you know it, you're tugging on his hair from root to tip to pull him closer, his facial hair giving you the best case of beard burn you've ever had as he works you through a mind-bending orgasm.

Every sound coming from your body is almost inhuman as the pleasure takes over your body, and you're trembling in Tony's hold, but you're not scared to let go. You trust him completely to take care of you, and you know he will do everything in his power to ensure you're safe, especially during moments like these.

"Tastes like heaven, Sugar, sweetest pussy I've ever tasted in my life," he rasps as he carefully guides your foot back on the floor before pulling you against his chest and kissing you softly, allowing you to taste yourself and the faint taste of his cum on his tongue. You quickly get lost in him as he touches you, and he makes you feel like you're floating right now.

"'s your turn now, Daddy," you tell him when he pulls away, but he shakes his head with a smile as he stops you. Your brows knit together as your gaze finds his, worry visible in your eyes.

"As much as I would love to have these beautiful, puffy, pink lips wrapped around my cock, I think I'd prefer to stuff you even more with my cum. Now that I've had a taste again, I want to be buried deep inside you, Sugar," he tells you as he cups your cheeks, and you nod in understanding.

"M'kay, but only because you ask so nicely," you tease, making him laugh. You let go of him before walking to the bed, and he lands a slap on your ass as you pass him - making you yelp in surprise.

A few minutes later, he's entirely bare above you, your head on his pillows as you look up at him in anticipation. He has settled between your legs, and his hard cock rests on the crease where your hip meets your thigh.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers, enjoying how your cheeks flush at his praise. A smirk tugs at the corners of his lips as he lets his thumb glide over your cheek and the line of your jaw, before tipping up your chin to capture your lips in another kiss.

You two may not have revealed your feelings for one another yet, but you're also not afraid to show them off when it's just you two right now, basking in the intimacy of your closeness. So vulnerable and yet so strong at the same time.

Tony's fingers ghost over your body and down to his cock, which he fists a couple of times before lining up with your entrance and pushing in. You're still stretched enough from when he fucked you earlier, making it easier for him to slide in, but despite that, he still takes his time with you.

Soft moans tumble from your lips as he slowly thrusts in, taking his sweet time to fill you up completely. His hands are interlaced with yours above your head, and your noses are practically touching each other as he slides in completely, and your back arches into him as he hits your sweet spot.

"That's it, Sugar, you take me so well," he praises you as you wrap your legs around him, allowing him to fuck you even deeper than before. His hips roll into you at a careful, steady pace as he watches your face for any discomfort - but he doesn't find any.

"So good," you whisper before capturing his lips, and it doesn't take long for both of you to be on the edge of yet another release. Your eyes widen as you feel the band inside your belly on the verge of snapping, and with one last command, you're over the edge.

"Cum for me, Sugar, milk Daddy's cock for all it's worth," he grits out as he nuzzles his face in your neck, and with a loud scream of his name, you fall apart around him, your hips rolling in tandem with his as he releases every last drop of his cum inside you.

After riding out both your orgasms, he carefully pulls out before collapsing beside you and pulling you onto his chest, where you both come down from your highs.

"God, that was amazing, Sugar. But I definitely don't want to wait a month again before seeing you," Tony says with a breathy chuckle, and you nod.

"Me neither," you say sleepily as you listen to the soft hum on the arc reactor in his chest. It doesn't take long for Tony to hear your soft snores, and he pulls the comforter over you both. The cleaning up can wait a little bit.

"I'm not sure I know what love is, but I think this might be it, Sugar," Tony admitted to your sleeping form. "And I know you can't hear me right now, but maybe one of these days, I'll be brave enough to say it when you can," he whispers, the reality of his feelings suddenly hitting him hard.

After that, he got you cleaned up after you had a short nap and something to eat. You two shared more cuddles and soft kisses before going to sleep again, and you felt content in his arms as your arm was draped over his chest.

The next morning, you wake up to an empty bed, and you rub your eyes to make sure Tony isn't in there with you. When you've confirmed that he's not there, you sit up, pull the comforter to your chest, and grab your phone to look at the time.

"Good morning, Sugar. I made you breakfast in bed," Tony tells you as he walks in with a tray filled with your favorite fruits, french toast, some yogurt, and two steaming cups of coffee to finish it all off.

"Mornin'," you say as you yawn, the scent of breakfast filling your nose. A smile dances on your lips as you look at everything Tony prepared; your stomach begins to rumble.

"Someone's getting hungry," Tony teases as he sits on the edge of the bed and leans in to kiss your lips softly. You can get used to these mornings, though you shouldn't be getting too comfortable with how things go now. You don't want to get your heart broken again, after all.

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kinzis-writing · 5 months

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Better than Revenge | M.R [5]

With the upcoming holidays, Y/N feels the pressure as she constantly gets letters from her parents and finds it hard to escape the burden of the job the death eaters have given her. It's safe to say, hiding may be her best bet, unless she can distract herself.. just for the holidays though, right?

Pairing(s): Mattheo Riddle x Y/N Nettleby

Warning(s):

v. "i, i loved you in secret."

Chapter Five

I apologize because this chapter is sucky, I had it ready to publish days ago and when I came back to tag everyone half of it was gone so i had to rewrite it and I had no clue where it left off so I just re-wrote it and I honestly hate it, but...

Note: While I will be referencing the movies, it is not going to exactly the same. There is going to be very mild similarities between the them. Umbridge probably won't happen in my little mini series, I probably will not go into detail about the wizard war, and a lot of stuff that probably would not happen will happen.

Word Count: 2.28k

*Not proofread or edited*

*Gif not mine*

“Are you positive you don’t want to come to the burrow with us?” Hermione asked as she packed her last item in the duffle bag. Hogwarts was officially on Winter break and most everyone would be heading home to spend the holidays with their family. Hermione and Harry were going to be spending the holidays with the Weasley’s and even though Y/N had been invited she had been trying to distance herself from her friends.

Y/N shook her head, “Pansy and I planned to stay here.” She lied. She hadn’t talked to Harry or the Weasley’s much since the death eaters meeting. This led Harry to know that something had happened that she did not want to talk about it, so none of them pushed her, knowing she’ll talk when she gets ready.

The Granger girl gave her friend a sad smile, “Mrs. Weasley has a place for you if you change your mind.” She assured, earning a nod from the Nettleby girl. “I know you don’t want to talk about what happened. But, if you need anyone to talk too, We’re here for you.” She added picking up her bag and leaving with her last comment.

After she was sure that the carriages had left Hogwarts, Y/N gathered her things and set off to find Dumbledore. She knew that he would more than likely be in his office, waiting for someone to come and bother him. Maybe even taking care of the whole situation that her family had going on. That still did not stop her from being nervous when she knocked on the door and walked into his office.

“Miss Nettleby, I didn’t expect you to be stopping by.” Albus spoke in his calm and content voice as the girl stepped further into his office with the door closing behind her.

“I have a couple requests, but they may seem odd.” Y/n spoke honestly as she slipped her bag off her shoulder and held it in her grip.

Albus shook his head, the look in his eyes never leaving. “When you get to be my age nothing is odd.”

Y/N carefully laid her bag on the ground before pulling out three stacks of letters, ones that were meant for her eyes only. “I have heard about there being an extra dorm, one that no one wants to use… and I was thinking maybe I can move into it?” Dumbledore gave the girl a slightly surprised look before grabbing the letters that she was handing him. “It’s my understanding that not many people know about it because it’s charmed, and I feel as though it may be a way for me to hide.” She concluded.

Dumbledore moved his gaze down to the letters stacked in front of him, and carefully started opening each one. He had read every letter that had been sent to the girl since returning to Hogwarts after that dreaded weekend. “I see.” He spoke as he noticed the girl taking the letters back and placing them in her bag. If her parents ever found out that she confided in Dumbledore, then it would be over for you. “May I ask why they expect this out of you, but your brother has yet to have an assignment.”

“Well, you see professor, they consider me a disappointment because I was sorted into Gryffindor, and they overheard Sean and I talking about not wanting to become a follower of you know who.” Y/N explained. “I think they have had this planned since they found out about my house and that Harry was here.”

Albus nodded, understanding the girl’s predicament. “I will allow you to use the charmed dormitory, remember that Tom Riddle did not know about the existence of this when he was here. Be sure that those you let in are the ones that you can trust.” He reminded. Knowing that Snape had reported many things to him, including what the girl had wanted to talk about and how a certain Riddle boy had been trying to figure out the plans to help her as well.

“Of course.” Y/N nodded before thanking him and leaving his office to head back towards her now-former dorm.

Y/N sat on the bed in the boy’s dormitory in the Slytherin house. Sean had decided to go to his girlfriend’s family for Christmas, Draco was going home for the holidays because his family always threw a Christmas Party, Enzo had gone home, and Theo was either at home or with his girlfriend.

“What makes you stay at Hogwarts anyway?” Y/N asked as she swung her legs up on the bed and scooted back against the headboard of the Riddle boy’s bed. “You don’t want the inside scoop about what they’re planning.”

Mattheo shook his head, finishing up what he was doing. “I try to stay away as long as I can, but I know the life that I am destined to live.” He shrugged acting as if he didn’t care, but Y/n knew that he cared more than anything.

“You don’t have to pretend with me, Teo.” Y/N promised softly. “We were friends for two years before the whole thing went down.” She added and watched him carefully as he sat down on the edge of his bed.

The boy thought for a moment, how did they end up in this situation? It was easy, he thought she deserved better, and she ended up with Theo before he talked himself into telling her how he felt. “I don’t want to be like my father” He finally spoke up. It was the only way that he could express his worry without physically admitting that he was scared.

Y/N sat up further and scooted herself closer to him, “Why would you be your father? You’re far from it.” she asked, her hand resting on his back as she scooted herself up to be more even with him.

Mattheo shrugged, “My father expects me to be, and my mother will carry out anything that my father says.” He muttered knowing exactly how his family works, within the next year he would be walking around with the dark mark and there was nothing he could do about it.

Y/N thought for a moment. Everyone knew that his father was the way he was because of love potions. Anyone conceived during a love potion was unable to love, one of the bad side-effects of using a love potion on anyone. “You are far from your father.” Y/N started hoping to get his spirits up. “Your father is unable to love and care about people, and I know deep down, whether you show it or not, that you care about people.”

“I care about you.” He muttered as he carefully met Y/N’s gaze.

‘Well,” Y/n started completely startled by his open statement. “I am a person, and I care about you too, Teo.”

Mattheo’s lips quirked upward for a split second before leaning forward a bit. “Why did you go out with Theo?” he asked quietly, not breaking the tension between them.

Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed, confusion about why it mattered. “I don’t see why that matters.” She replied not sure what Mattheo was wanting to hear from her. She had originally dated Theo to forget about Mattheo and to get her parents off her back. That didn’t make it hurt any less when he cheated on her, because at the time she would have told you that she loved him, now she realizes that it wasn’t love. It was far from love.

“Why do you have to make this harder than it has to be.” Mattheo mumbled before leaning in and pressing his lips to hers. Their bodies turned to face each other as he deepened the kiss and Y/N’s hand moved to the back of his neck, her hand in his hair. They kissed until they had to break apart for air. “I’ve been wanting to do that since the moment you walked into the great hall with him.” He whispered carefully, bringing his hand up to her face so she wouldn’t pull away.

Instead of replying, Y/N just molded their lips back together, because if the truth was known, she had been craving Mattheo’s affection for two years.

Waking up on Christmas morning was different than any other holiday morning. Mainly because the snow would line the ground and the pretty decorations would be hung up. This year was different, because Y/N had woken up in Mattheo’s bed. Nothing sexual had happened between them recently, but it was safe to say that the “fake dating” was becoming more real with each day.

“Merry Christmas, love.” Mattheo’s raspy morning voice spoke as he nuzzled his face in the crook of her neck to get her to wake up.

Y/N woke up with a bright smile, the warmth of the boy next to her surrounding her. “Merry Christmas.” She replied, turning over to face Mattheo. Both of their hair was messed up, due to sleep and they had probably slept through breakfast since they had both felt well rested, but neither of them cared.

“You want breakfast?” he asked softly as he pushed some of her hair out of her face. He was shocked at how easy it was to be himself around her. It was something that he had never expected or experienced. True, they were close previously, but he never let himself show much emotion. “I may be able to get a snack until lunch.”

Y/N shrugged, “s’up to you.” She mumbled, closing her eyes again for a split second. Mattheo took that as his chance to casual steal a kiss. It was short and sweet and nothing drastic. Y/N peeled her eyes back open a smile on her face, “You’re getting comfortable kissing me, teo.” She teased, placing her hand on his cheek.

A cheeky grin graced Mattheos, usually emotionless, face. “You’re finally letting me.”

She shook her head at his statement, “I told you when we started this that you could do anything you wanted.” She recalled noticing his eyes narrow at the mention of the plan that started this.

“I wanted it to be real, I’ve always wanted it to be real.” He quietly admitted, feeling shy for even telling the truth about it. It showed how he was scared to tell you how he felt, especially with you having dated his best friend.

“You,” Y/N started as she leaned up a bit to meet his gaze face-to-face. “Are turning into a sap.” She teased and let out a laugh when she noticed Mattheo’s cheeks turn dark pink. “Lucky for you, I love those types.” She finished crashing her lips to his and feeling the similar rush that she had two years ago.

The make-out session had gone on for a bit, until they were interrupted by Mattheo’s stomach. With that the two officially parted and agreed to meet back in Y/N’s new dorm after they had gotten ready, and he had gone to get food since they had missed the first meal of the day. Lunch would be rolling around soon, so their hunger was not a huge issue now. Mattheo had returned to Y/n’s new dorm with her favorite snack and the two had just spent Christmas in the presence of each other.

The winter break had flown by for the duo and soon it was New year’s, and the train and carriages would be returning to Hogwarts the next day. Somewhere between the jokes, conversations, and bookathons, Mattheo had asked Y/N to officially be his girlfriend and not just around his friends. Given, anyone who was left at Hogwarts could tell that something had shifted between them. What little group of students were left often had their eyes focused on the two worse than they usually did. Maybe it was because they were showing more pda, or maybe their relationship looked more real after they had a full two, almost three weeks to bond.

“Why did this break go so fast?” Y/N complained as her head rested on Mattheo’s lap. The couple sat in the Slytherin common room, on the couch that their friend group always occupied. The green hues showing as the flame moved was interesting to Y/N, especially because it was starting to become her favorite color. “I enjoyed the break from Veronica trying to ruin my life.” She muttered, her boyfriend playing with her hair making her more relaxed.

“She can’t ruin your life even if she tried.” Mattheo remarked back as he sat the book in his hands down. “You coming with me out to the lawn?”

Y/N shook her head, knowing that mattheo had hardly smoked since the break. Maybe it was a habit that affected him worse when he was worried or stressed or maybe it had been what she had said during their game of truth or dare. Whatever the reason, she had noticed how Mattheo relaxed more easily when it was just the two of them. It didn’t matter what they did because he was laid back and never seemed like he worried about anything. Sometimes, Y/N wondered if he could feel the dread or the bad vibes like she did. She knew she was feeling them due to what was about to happen, but she didn’t know if it was the letters from her parents or what was brewing and fixing to start. Either way she knew that it was going to be bad.

One thing she knew for sure was that she would protect her friends and everyone she loved at all costs. Regardless of what would happen to her and not caring about what her family will do.

again, I apologize because I hate how this chapter ended and how it went. I promise to try my hardest to make the last few chapters better. With that being said, i will now be saying my drafts on word, even after writing them here to prevent further deleting any part of the story!

Tag List: @yoichiislovie @hedwigprewett12 @justhavingsomefun1 @lafrone @julesandro @prongsprincessworld @bruher @mattiesgirl @kiwi475 @frogtape @blueeweeb @wildlyobserving @harrysnovia @devotedlycrookeddonut @oi-itse @dear-fifi @grandtheoristpeach @dory-98 @jetblackpayne @b4b3tte @xmadigurlx @thecraziestcrayon @whoknowsbut @lovesanimals0000 @cmervns @urrsa @starkeylover @taylors--version @snow-onthebeach-13 @supernatural-lover @ivy-34 @jasmine2105 @yazzy1004 @itsamusical4lifee @rainy-darling @topguncultleader @primscat

I am sorry if it didn't tag you, I tagged the wrong person, or you no longer wish to be tagged. Just let me know and i will fix it!

#mattheo riddle #mattheo x y/n #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo x reader #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle x gryffindor #mattheo riddle x oc #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fandom #harry potter imagines #harry potter series #mattheo riddle better than revenge series #better than revenge series

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byslantedlight · 18 days

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Hello OFMD Tumblr thingie, and all the amazing people who are out there, and especially the ones who've been making all the posts that have made me so happy over the last few months. 💖💖💖 First and most importantly, thank you, thank you, thank you, to anyone who sees this!

This is my first post to Tumblr (probably pretty obvious from my huge lack of Tumblr sophistication! And the length of this post...) If you don't count reblogging things that I wanted to be able to find again. I've braved up to comment thank you to people a couple of times, but that's been it so far. I must admit it all looks a bit scary from this side of the glass, even though I can also see how friendly people mostly are.

But OFMD fandom is big! And you've been here a long time! I loved Series 1 when I watched it, and knew I wanted to watch out for Series 2, but it wasn't until I re-watched it when the Series 2 trailer came out on BBC iPlayer that I fell veeeery in love with it! And by then you were already here, and there was a language and debates about things I'd barely even noticed, and it's mostly me staring with big eyes thinking wow, and sometimes huh? and... well, you know. Plus there's trying to work out Tumblr, which I definitely haven't actually managed to do yet, and possibly never will, so... I decided to just jump in and post summat. Even just rambling, which is a bit of a specialty of mine... I mean - what's the worst that can happen, right? 😬

So... how come now? Well, I can't make art or gorgeous screenshots or gifs. I do write, but I'm still hanging out to get the right voices in my keyboard... I know them when I hear them, but you've gotta get the right rhythm going, and I'm not quite there yet, I don't think. Although really, I should probably just sit down and try (and stop waiting for work to shut up and give me time - I should be a pirate and take it!)

Anyway (told you about the rambling...) what I'm mostly doing apart from rewatching the eps on a constant loop is reading the fic. I'm picking it according to kudos on AO3, and according to recs that I see on Tumblr, and it's occured to me that alot of the stories I'm loving must have been recced looong ago, and that newbies like me totally missed them, and so maybe I could do my own recs, even if they are of older stories, and someone might find them useful. You know, if I work out how anyone else might ever see my posts. 😁 And if people aren't put off by my probably age-revealing use of emojis. (But I am entirely age-appropriate for Ed and Stede, and if I had to look up what zaddy meant too, well, that just means I matched Rhys Darby's expression in the bts, right? 🤨)

So it's not much, but I'd like to contribute even just a tiny bit to OFMD fandom in return for everything it gives me, so... yeah. That's my plan. I'll start in a bit, but this post is probably already too long since it's just rambling. And kind of dull. I should probably have said tl:dr at the top, shouldn't I, but then maybe anyone who actually saw this wouldn't, so... See, I kind of live in hope. 😊

Okay. Tags next, right? ... ack ... why won't it let me create new tags instead of just using ones from the drop down...? Well, those will have to do for now... maybe someone who sees this will have mercy and tell me how? I'll just be over here being a slight failure at Tumblr... And if you've made it this far (how long is an acceptable post over here?! Not this long, I don't think...) - thank you hugely for just that, and may your dreams be OFMD and joyous!

#ofmd #ofmd fanfic

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h-c-u · 1 year

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The Youngest Student

Summary: You're left without a nanny last second, so you decide to take your daughter to class with you.

Pairing: profesor Toto Wolff x PhD fem!reader

W/C: 1.5k

Rating: PG, age gap (reader is in late 20s)

A/N: I was about to write part 6 of No Longer a Secret, but this short blurb kinda... happened. So, I'm sorry to anyone who might be waiting for the next part. I promise it's in the works <3 I know Daisy's age is not specified, but I see her as being... 5-6 months old :) Also - it's inspired by >>this<<

Masterlist | List of tags

You were about to call your nanny, but a text from her came in just as you were grabbing your phone.

"I'm really sorry for letting you know so late, but I won't be able to make it today. On my way to your house, me and I sister got into an accident, and my arm is broken. We're currently in the hospital, but there is no chance I will make it."

After reading the message, you wanted to instantly call Cassie to see how she was doing; you cared much more about her health than her services as a nanny, although during the last four months, she was a godsend. But even before you dialed her number, you realized that she was probably scared and calling her family to let them know what happened, so instead of being one more conversation, you opted out for a short message.

"Don't worry about us. I just hope that you and your sister are ok. Please, let me know if there is anything I could do, and in the meantime - focus on getting better."

After that, you quickly shot a message to the father of your child, but he didn't reply, and if you didn't want to be late for your only lecture of the day, you had to leave soon. For a moment you considered not going and staying at home with your daughter, but she had just been fed and burped, which meant a long nap, most likely even longer than the class itself.

So instead of ditching, you moved her to the carrier, careful not to wake her up, and put a thick blanket over it, so both the light and noises would be muted, and she could continue sleeping without any interruptions.

The drive to your college wasn't long, but you still got into the classroom just as the lecture was about to begin, so there was no time for you to explain the situation in more detail.

- I'm sorry to bring her in... The sitter canceled, and she's just been fed so she should sleep through the whole lecture, but if she wakes up, I'll leave not to cause any disturbance... - you whispered quietly to Professor Wolff, but in the dead silence of the room, your voice still carried. You were older than the rest of this class and there was a wedding band on your finger, so the fact that you had a child wasn't exactly a surprise. What was surprising though, was your usually stoic professor who hated surprises donning a giant smile on his face, when he raised a blanket you put over the carrier just a little, to see your little girl.

- It's ok, don't worry about it. - he replied, still looking at Daisy, completely enamored by her. You let him do that for a moment longer, but eventually, you took the blanket from his hand and put it down. He cleared his throat, realizing that the lecture was supposed to start around five minutes ago.

You quickly went to your usual seat, took out your laptop, and got ready to take notes, only this time with your daughter sleeping soundly in a carrier that you put on the desk next to you.

About halfway through, you heard that your daughter woke up and was getting fussy, but she wasn't in that state when she was a disturbance yet, so you gently took her out of the carrier and laid her on your left arm, while you continued taking notes with your right. And it was working for a while... You weren't sure if it was unfamiliar smells or sounds, but her mood continued to deteriorate, even though she was wearing her favorite frog onesie, with the hood that was currently blocking at least some of the sounds and lights. You tried to lull her back to sleep by gently rocking her on your arm, but that didn't help, and just as you were about to close your laptop and leave, not to disturb other students, you saw Professor Wolff coming closer. You were about to apologize, but he just smiled, winked, and took Daisy in his arms, where she instantly calmed down.

There was a very brief moment when you expected some sort of reaction from the other students, but besides a few hushed comments about how natural Professor Wolff looked with a baby in his arms, there was nothing, and the lecture continued.

Your daughter eventually fell asleep again, calmed down by Toto's deep voice, and when she did, he put a green hood with embroidered eyes deeper over her head. She remained like that till the end of the lecture.

You couldn't help but smile every time you looked at them together, and you had to force yourself to actually pay attention, which proved to be challenging.

But you made it, and when the end of the class was announced, you slowly packed your things, while the other students were leaving the room, a few of the female ones, unusually slowly, their eyes lingering on the professor and your daughter a bit too long, but you couldn't blame them, because you were doing the exact same. Eventually, you were alone and the door to the room automatically closed.

You came closer to the desk he was almost sitting on and put a carrier on the papers that were covering almost the whole surface. Toto leaned down to press a quick kiss on your forehead; after all - you were still in school. And even though the dean was informed about your relationship first - when Toto accepted a job offer here three years ago, and once again - earlier this year, when you came back to the university to finish your Ph.D. after the birth, neither of you wanted to advertise your marriage left and right, and walls here had eyes.

- Cassie was in an accident on her way to us, and she broke her arm... I think we should give her a few weeks off because she seemed more afraid that we won't have anyone to take care of Daisy and disappointing me than she was about her visit to the hospital. - you explained, taking your daughter out of his arms, and putting her back in the carrier.

- Is she all right? - he asked, watching you securing the clasps and putting the blanket over it once again.

- She seemed to be, but I don't know much more... I didn't want to call and intrude, since everything was fresh when she messaged me. I'll check in with her in the evening. - you added, throwing the jacket over your shoulders, and moving your hair from under it. - You have one more lecture, right? - you made sure, and he sighed.

- Yes... In half an hour. Although I doubt it will be as pleasant as this one. - he smiled, pulled you closer by your jacket, and kissed you softly. - Seeing you two honestly made my day. - you put your arms around him, letting yourself drown in his strong arms for a moment, but you didn't close your eyes, because you knew that if you did, you would fall asleep right then and there, standing up. You were good at keeping appearances, but being a new parent, even with such a well-behaved baby as Daisy, was exhausting, so you took every short moment of peace and quiet you could get.

- I should go... - you whispered against his shirt and your words were followed by a loud sigh because you honestly didn't want to leave.

- Or... You could take a nap on the couch in my office, and I can take care of Daisy. - he proposed and you almost started crying from relief; he could always see right through you. Your first instinct was to ask him if he was sure, but the more rational thought, backed up by years of a relationship with him followed, saying that he was.

- Thank you... - he squeezed your body a little harder before letting you go.

- Come on then... - he took the carrier with your sleeping daughter from the desk, fished the keys to his office from the pocket of his jacket, and led you to the small room, not that far from the class he was teaching in. You almost fell onto the soft couch, letting the pillows swallow you whole, but before you fell asleep, you felt Toto putting a soft blanket that smelled like a fabric softener you used at home over your body.

There was a moment when you woke up in a panic after about an hour, but as soon as you heard a familiar low rumble of Toto’s deep voice, carrying through the corridors despite the closed doors, you remembered what happened and went back to sleep.

A/N 2: Please don’t feel obligated/pressured to reblog, because I write mostly for myself. A comment would be appreciated though :) Love, G.

#my writing #Toto Wolff fanfiction #Toto Wolff x reader #🖤

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van-yangyin · 2 months

Text

Following Custom Content I shared the other day, here is EyeTree Head Set that contain a EyeTree head and Eyes of Tree Accessory for all ages. Hope you enjoy this one! 💗

Short brief when this post is published: I'm currently without pc because it's being repaired since it was failing me, so I leave you this publication that I left prepared. Until I have it back, it's possible that I won't be much on my social medias. When I return I'll answer to your lovely asks and replies. @lea-heartscxiv will probably lend me his, but it will only be for occasional times like posting things we've worked on together or new CC if pc takes too long to repair. Thank you for your patience with me ❤

They look at you, they judge you, they discriminate against you. From a planet far away from Sixam, called Lerighett, reside these tree-headed beings with eyes. They're said to be of many varieties and species, though residents of the hidden lands of Heyadee are one of the most frowned upon for being so perceptive and judgmental. If they have more eyes around them, they may be even more judgmental for being able to see beyond your soul. 👁️🌳

Download under keep reading ↓

If you download my CC it means your agree with my T.O.U (English/Español/日本語).

EyeTree Head

General Info:

13 swatches

Base game compatible

Located on Detail Skin, Forehead

all ages

disable for werewolves (don't show good on them)

all LOD's

All Maps (Diffuse, Normal, Specular)

Mesh and texture made from scratch by me

Custom Thumbnails

Compatible with higher and lower game sliders

Known problems: Some parts of the trunk may go deeper into the skin. Since is placed in Skin Details, Forehead, both packages are shown, no matter the gender, but they're written as Male Frame and Female Frame on thumbnail so that they can be easily recognized. Try to use them properly so they don't look bad unless that is the result you want to achieve.

LOD Information: LOD0: 7232 poly | LOD1: 3615 poly | LOD2: 1806 poly | LOD3: 903 poly

IF YOU LIKE MY WORK PLEASE CONSIDER BECOME A PATREON OR TIP ON KO-FI. ANY HELP IS ALWAYS WELCOMED BUT ALWAYS OPTIONAL. YOU CAN ALSO COMMISSION ME HERE OR FROM TUMBLR, IF YOU WANT ME TO DO SOMETHING SPECIFIC FOR YOU. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

※Choose download the one/ones you want the most or only download Merged: "_T-E_Merged" or "_AllMerged" where all the files are together.※

✨DOWNLOAD LINK✨ (Patreon ~ Always free, no adfly) [Same link]

✨DOWNLOAD LINK✨ (SFS ~ Always free, no adfly)

Photo in CAS and in-game photo without shaders:

~⭐️~

Eyes of Tree Accessory

General Info:

1 swatch, since use eye texture

Base game compatible

Located on Detail Skin, Crease

all ages

all LOD's

Mesh made from scratch by me

Custom Thumbnails

LOD Information: LOD0: 2880 poly | LOD1: 1440 poly | LOD2: 720 poly | LOD3: 360 poly

Do you want to know what else I'll be releasing this month and on what day? You can support me on Patreon or Ko-Fi and find out in this posts, here (Patreon) and here (Ko-Fi).

※Choose download the one/ones you want the most or only download Merged: "_T-E_Merged" or "_AllMerged" where all the files are together.※

✨DOWNLOAD LINK✨ (Patreon ~ Always free, no adfly) [Same link]

✨DOWNLOAD LINK✨ (SFS ~ Always free, no adfly)

Photo in CAS:

Compatible with LightHead/EyeHead and without LightHead:

~⭐️~

Btw, do you saw my last CC post? ⬇️

HERE

This CC is made in part in honor of the fucking eyes (the big one and the little ones) of Arc the Lad the Twilight of Spirits, who gave me and Lea a hard time many many years ago to defeat them. They aren't the same, but every time I was doing it I was thinking about them. Has anyone else played this game? I loved it and I love it!

Let me know if you find any problem. 🙏❣️ Also if you use this or any of my CC, feel free to tag me so I can see your sims, it will make me very happy to see it!

👀👉MORE DOWNLOADS

Happy simming! 🍀

💛

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the-kr8tor · 4 months

Note

Hello! Could I please request TTN Hobie and reader go back to Aunt Janet’s shop, when they are together again after reader comes back from LA, to buy some fabric for something that they are sewing? I would love to see her reaction of seeing them both together!

Have a lovely day/night!

🕊️anon

Yippee a TTN request!! Ly thank you! ❤️❤️❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Tags: use of Y/N sparsely, no specific physical description of the reader, talks of babies, TTN! Hobie and Reader. FLUFF

Thread the Needle series Masterlist

TTN oneshot Masterlist

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

The bell jingles as Hobie opens the door for you, strolling inside, practically skipping from all the happiness of being with him again, you wait for him to enter. He loops his arm around your waist almost immediately. The unabashed PDA would make anyone look away, but who cares? You're complete once again.

“What do you need again?” He asks, eyes roaming around, chin resting comfortably on your shoulder.

“If you stopped and actually listened to my chattering then you won't have to ask.” You say teasingly, a smirk playing on your lips.

“If you stopped snogging me while talking then I won't be so distracted, hmm?” Hobie rubs his chin on your shoulder in an effort to tickle you.

“It's not my fault you keep coming on to me.” Giggling, he scrunches up your face with his whole palm over your entire face, wiggling it playfully.

“If you two don't stop being all sweet there'll be ants all over my shop.” A familiar voice pipes up from behind the counter, making you pause and take off Hobie's hand from your face. “‘ello you two. Welcome back, sweetheart.”

“Auntie Janet!” You squeal, feet bouncing to get to her. Hugging her over the counter, you hold her at arm's length, grinning from ear to ear.

You've noticed the new glasses on her, she has aged a bit since you last saw each other but there's still that twinkle in her eyes whenever she smiles.

“Let me get a good look at you!” You awkwardly twirl around at her behest. She smiles widely.

“So?” You ask timidly.

“Good,” Janet nods approvingly. “You've taken care of yourself well? Ate? Went on walks?”

“I did, don't worry.”

“He taking good care of you then?” She gestures towards Hobie who peruses the shelves.

“He is. Too good in fact, he barely lets me out of his sight.” You joke. “I'm guessing he missed me a lot.”

Janet leans closer to you, whispering. “Don't tell him I told you this but he's a regular customer here.”

“He is?” You ask, feigning ignorance. You know of his vigilante activities, and unfortunately those activities usually end up with his suit cut to pieces or mangled up. It's the main reason why you're visiting, and to also visit Janet of course.

Your heart pounds loudly at the thought of Janet figuring out his secret identity.

“That he is, I think he's making his own clothes. That's how much he misses you. You know, do the activities you like so he feels like you're there with him”

You breathe a sigh of relief, not knowing what you would've said to her if she guessed correctly on why he needs so much fabric. With a giddy smile, you like her conclusion better.

“I'll– put that information to good use.” You stutter,

She nods, “use it wisely.” Winking, she straightens out when Hobie plops a roll of scaly green fabric on the counter.

“Oh is this for Terry?” You ask, hand automatically reaching for his jean back pocket.

Janet looks at you confused.

“Yeah, for patching him up.”

“Wait, do you have a kid? How long have you been home, Y/N?” She looks at you like you've betrayed her.

Before you could explain, Hobie takes the opportunity to tease the old woman.

He pats your stomach, “yeah, she had him a month ago and he's growing very fast, we need new clothes for him.”

You stifle a laugh, you'd tell her eventually but you want to see how Hobie's bit goes.

“A baby boy?!” She points at Hobie menacingly. “She gave birth a month ago and you're already letting her walk around?” Janet comes around the counter, cane at the ready. “Not to mention the fact you already knocked her up the minute she came back home!” She points at Hobie with her cane. “What kind of–”

Hobie shields himself with his arms, laughing loudly while Janet chastises him. Their voices echo out in the shop.

You watch Hobie defend himself from an old woman, smiling, your laughs match Hobie's. Maybe you'll tell Janet the truth once she calms down or else you might get the cane too.

#request done #🕊️ anon #hobie brown x reader #spider punk x reader #the kr8tor's creations #hobie brown #atsv fanfiction #atsv x reader #atsv fanfic #hobie brown x fem!reader #hobie brown x you #spider punk x fem!reader #spider punk x you #ttn! hobie and reader #ttn oneshot #hobie fluff #fanfic

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runningfrom2am · 10 months

Text

all i think about is karma

summary: you and rafe take on a mainland bush party where he knows no one, and you know too many people for his liking.

this can be read as a stand-alone but it's technically a part four to getaway car, big reputation, and this is why we can’t have nice things.

pairing: rafe x fem!reader

wc: 2.1k

tags/warnings: jealous!rafe, highschool au, (some) nondescript nudity, cursing, mean kook!reader, underage drinking, (i think that’s it??)

a/n: hey y’all!! sorry i haven’t posted anything in a little while, i’ve been busy but now im back home and on my usual schedule so there shouldn’t be any serious interruptions for a little while. i missed y’all and i hope you like this! this is what won my getaway car poll quite some time ago so im so happy to finally get it out!

"No, Y/N/N, I'll be fine. I don't want to dampen your week, you'll have so much fun!" Bella insists, adjusting where her phone is laying in her lap while she lays in bed, surrounded by tissues and snack wrappers. She came down with the flu at the worst possible time: right before you were meant to go on your spring break trip.

"It won't be the same without you! I should just stay home, I can come over and we can have a movie marathon or something. That'll be just as fun." You reply, watching her through the facetime camera while you sit at your vanity.

"No. Absolutely not. You're going- and you'll get to hangout with Rafe! It's worth it for me to get all the juicy details after." Bella giggles, sniffling and quickly wiping her nose.

You roll your eyes, rubbing your forehead. "Okay, yeah, but nothings gonna happen- you know I swore that off."

"Yeah, whatever. The two of you, alone, drunk and sharing a tent? Whatever you say." Your friend teases you. "It's actually worth it for me to stay home so you can come back with tea."

"Okay, fine," You agree, not admitting that the idea is very tempting. "But I'm not sleeping with him again."

"No! Of course not." Bella laughs, shaking her head. "But if you did, at least be safe this time. We don't need a repeat of what happened last time-"

"Okay! Okay! Bye, Bella I'll call you later!" You quickly cut her off, hanging up the phone.

Several long hours after texting Rafe the update that Bella wasn't going to make it, you found yourself in his truck on the mainland, driving into what seems to be the middle of nowhere for a bush party you caught word of from some friends you met playing soccer on a local team. You were excited to see them, and meet some new people, but you're honestly so glad Rafe still wanted to go. You'd rather not go alone if you didn't have to.

Judging by the large space in front of you full of various groups of kids your age putting tents together or starting fires around makeshift campsites at the edge of the water, you assume you're in the right place and get to work setting up your own tent off near the edge of the lake.

It wasn't long before the sun started to set over the abandoned gravel pit, and you just finish up when you crack open your first drink from the cooler. "So like... are we actually going to talk to anyone or just hide over here and be weird all night?" Rafe asks as you bring the can to your lips.

You roll your eyes a little and nod. "Well, duh. My friends are coming. I don't know what your plans are." Rafe looks around at that, seeing if there's anyone he might be able to talk to, but he was counting on hanging out with you.

"Wow, you're ditching me?" He asks, reaching into the cooler as well and grabbing a beer. "Cold."

You go to reply with a matching, somewhat snarky attitude the two of you almost always share when you recognize the purple jeep that's pulling in. "That's them! Good luck making friends!" You call back, jogging over to where they parked.

Rafe flips you off as you turn your full attention to your friends, sighing a little to himself as he lays eyes on a group of local boys who look enough like his friends that he's comfortable talking to them.

By the time that the area is lit only by the orange glow coming from the several cooking fires and the large bonfire everyone is centered around, you're already stumbling over your feet with a half-drank bottle of some liquor you didn't bring, and you're not even sure where you got it.

Rafe has been trying to keep an eye on you from a distance, but now he's lost you. He's drunk himself, so he's not overly concerned, but he would just at least like to know where you were. He looks around frantically, trying to keep his cool as the boys around him are laughing about something he didn't care to pay attention to. His eyes land on some figures out in the lake, and he squints to see if he can make out the shape of your hair in the dark. He takes a few steps away to get a closer look, hearing you laughing and shouting over the music coming from an on shore speaker. He walks down to the shore with a smug look on his face, polishing off his beer when he looks down and notices piles of clothes on the shore. Are you naked?

"Hey, Y/N!" Rafe shouts, waving to you in an attempt to grab your attention.

"Rafe!" You shout back, smile never fading as you push your wet hair out of your face. With the liquor warming you, the water feels amazing and so soft on your skin. "Come out here! Come join us!"

Rafe sighs as he finds your stuff, relieved to find only your shirt, shorts, and bra. At least you weren't fully naked in front of all these strangers. He strips of everything but his boxers and grabs your bra, wading out into the cool lake water to you and your friends as they cheer and laugh.

"Rafe! Where have you been?" You giggle, throwing your arms over his shoulders once he gets close enough for you to reach.

"I've been around- apparently I should have been babysitting you ladies." He chuckles, trying to hide any frustration in his tone as he avoids looking at your friends who are just as well clothed as you are. "Put this on, at least." He adds, pulling away from you and handing you the article of clothing, crossing his arms to watch you put it on despite his better judgement.

"Hey! Girls! Come on in, we're going to play chandelier!" One of the guys Rafe had the pleasure of talking to for the last couple hours shouts, and quickly everyone makes their way in to shore.

"Y/N, hey, we don't want you to get sick. Come warm up." Rafe turns his head as he gets his shirt back on, watching as one of the other guys, Jesse, is quickly wrapping you in a small blanket and guiding you up to the bonfire with a hand on your lower back. He scowls at the two of you behind your back, following as he urges you up the small hill and towards the large fire pit ahead.

You walk side by side with the boy, until you can feel the warmth of the flames on your skin where you stop and stand to dry off both your skin and what little clothing you have on. You don't know you're shivering until Jesse is tugging on the blanket around your shoulders. "Here, let me help you warm up.." He chuckles, wrapping his arms around you from behind and draping the blanket over both of you.

"Oh, thanks, Jesse." You say, teeth chattering from the soft breeze. You lean back into him, swaying from the alcohol still in your system and he steadies you.

"Anytime, sweetheart." He mumbles, pressing his lips to the back of your head.

You are well aware of his hands wandering, fiddling with the waistband of your underwear as you have your arms crossed tightly over your chest. You pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you gaze across the fire and your eyes land on Rafe, who's staring at you intently.

You smile and wave at him, but he just rolls his eyes in response and looks away. Is he upset with you for ditching him? In hindsight it wasn't very nice, even if that is the kind of relationship you normally have. If it was you you'd be upset- he didn't know anyone, and he was left to fend for himself, granted; he was clearly fine.

"Hey, Ashley?" You find yourself calling over to your other friend, but she doesn't hear you as your eyes well up with tears. Why do you feel so bad right now? Does Rafe being upset with you really bother you that much? You've hardly felt like this before.

"Ashley?" You ask again, but she hardly glances at you as she's got another boy draped over her shoulder- one who is definitely not the girls boyfriend.

"You okay?" Jesse asks, leaning his head over your shoulder to get a better look at you.

"Uhm, yeah, I just have to go to the bathroom and I was hoping she would come with me." You explain, watching Rafe again as he buries himself in conversation with the two girls standing next to him.

"I'll take you." Jesse offers. "Come on, I won't watch. Swear." He says, already guiding you away and tossing the blanket back to his friend.

You glance back at Rafe over your shoulder as Jesse walks you off into the dark. Just as you look forward again to try and watch your step, Jesse's hand is smacking your butt playfully, making you jump. You laugh it off and give him a shove, but he's grabbing your hand and pulling you in the direction of his truck.

The swing of Jesse's arm to where his hand hit your exposed skin drew Rafe's attention again fully, and he furrows his brow as he watches you stumble away. You were sharing a tent with him and you were really about to hook up with that mainland loser? He quickly downs the rest of his beer and storms after you, fists clenched at his sides after discarding the bottle on a nearby pong table.

"Hey!" Rafe shouts, making the two of you turn just as Jesse backs you up against the side of his truck and starts kissing down your neck. You're confused, but not one to turn down an opportunity like this- especially when you never have to see him again. As soon as Jesse turns his head, though, it's snapped back again with the contact of Rafe's fist into his nose.

He groans and quickly brings his hands up to his face, tipping his head back as blood pours from between his fingers. You gasp, reaching out for him but hesitating, not sure what to do.

"You think you can hook up with any girl who accepts a blanket from you when she's cold? She came here with me." Rafe spits, and you feel your features pull into an expression of anger as you quickly step towards him and shove him back. "What?"

"Come on." You mutter, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from the now bleeding boy. "What the fuck was that about?" You ask, storming back to where your shared tent was in the corner. "Do you think you have some stupid claim over me just because you drove me here?"

Rafe rolls his eyes, stopping with you next to the tent as you drop his arm and turn to face him. "He was taking advantage of you!"

You scoff, shaking your head and crossing your arms. "No, Rafe. He wasn't. Did you ever consider that maybe I wanted that?"

"Whatever, Y/N- don't act like you weren't eyeing me up for the whole drive here."

"Oh. My. God." You find yourself laughing suddenly, realizing what this is about. "You were jealous."

"What? No I wasn't." Rafe replies defensively.

You smile at him cockily, tilting your head and waiting for him to spiral on it.

"I wasn't! I tried to help. That's what I get, I guess!" Rafe throws his hands up.

"And here I was thinking you were mad at me for ditching you. Turns out you were just horny." You smirk, knowing you were just pushing his buttons this time for fun.

"Oh, fuck off, Y/N, you're just trying to piss me off now for fun."

"You're not denying it." You shrug, looking back over to the fire for a moment, seeing Jesse sitting there with paper towel pressed to his nose and a few girls surrounding him.

"You're making it difficult not to be when you’re walking around like that.” He replies, smirking as he looks you up and down.

“Don’t be gross, Rafe.” You smile, dropping your arms from they were crossed over your chest.

He takes a step closer at that, delicately placing his hands on your hips. “You love it, Y/N/N, you know you do.”

taglist: @bookishbabyyy @madelynie , @whore-4-drewstarkey , @slut4drudy , @winterrrnight , @totalswag , @sadfury @fullfledgedemo @rafemotherfuckingcameron , @urfaveluvr , @chenslucy , @hxnnah-397 , @s-we-e-t-t-ea , @tahliac11 , @ragingsammie , @ietss, @dee127

#obx fanfic #rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe fic #outer banks #rafe fanfiction #obx #rafe outer banks #rafe x you #rafe x y/n #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron fluff #rafe angst #rafe x reader #rafe imagine #outerbanks rafe #rafe headcanons

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hwanghyunjinenthusiast · 11 months

Text

Ease

AN: Yes, I caved. I was tempted to write about Seonghwa instead, but I realised I haven't written anything for San yet, so here we are. What can I say, I am a weakling for men with children. Shoutout to Troye Sivan for the title.

Synopsis: After a particularly rough day with months of working on your latest book finally coming to an end, your husband reminds you that's he'll always be there for you. In every way he can be.

General tags: Choi San x Fem! Reader, Reader and San are married with a daughter, Writer! Reader, Househusband! San, hurt and comfort elements, fluff and mentions of alcohol and alcohol consumption.

Smut tags: Switchy tendencies from both Reader and San, nipple play (f. and m. receiving), dirty talk, oral sex (f. receiving), fingering (f. receiving), unprotected piv sex, elements of objectification (m. receiving), not a breeding kink but, San gets off (like a lot) cumming inside of Reader and creampie.

Word count: 5738

I will block you if you are a minor and have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.

Your apartment is silent for the most part when you slip in. You can faintly hear San in the kitchen, but there's no signs of your daughter's signature laugh and nonstop rambling filling the space of your home. The quiet reminds of you of a time that seems as though it was a lifetime ago when it was just San and you. The nostalgia causes a smile to rise to your lips as you place your bag down on the couch and journey your way into the kitchen.

Affection bubbles inside of you as San hums a tune you don't recognise while he cooks. You have no idea what he's making but, the scent invades your nostrils and your stomach growls. Not loud enough to alert him but, loud enough that you remember that the last thing you consumed was an iced coffee during lunch with your editor. Your nerves too fried to even think about eating. The meeting why you've come home so late that your daughter isn't even up to welcome you home.

You try your best to ignore the way that twists your stomach.

Perhaps it's the sheer exhaustion of the day, or the guilt, or just that you simply love your husband that prompts you to walk towards him and wrap your arms around his waist. You laugh into his shoulder when he jumps slightly, nearly dropping the pepper in his shock.

"Jesus, you scared me," he huffs, but there's no real bite in his voice. One of his hands reaching down to give your own a squeeze.

"You were too focused on your cooking I guess," you respond, feeling lighter than you have in months.

"In my defence, this is a great pasta," he retorts, and you can hear the grin in his voice. He lowers the heat before turning in your embrace. You don't know if you'll ever grow indifferent to just how stunning your husband. His dimples poking through as he smiles at you and his arms wrap around your waist.

"How'd it go?" He asks, giving you his undivided attention, and you'll never quite understand how you convinced this man to fall in love with you, marry you, and have a child with you.

You groan a little dramatically, resting your head against his shoulder. His chest vibrates with his soft chuckles, but he waits for you to respond nonetheless, "A lot better than I was expecting. Hongjoong said he was impressed with the first draft and he probably won't have to edit much. Which is great news but, fuck me that was one of the most tense meetings of my life."

"Why's that baby?" He asks, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles into your skin.

"I don't think I've poured this much of myself into a book ever, Sannie. God, I'm sure you know that better than anyone. I honestly don't know how I would've reacted if he didn't like it. I think I would've just broken down," you half joke.

He hums, choosing his words carefully before speaking, "I think sometimes it's easy to forget how talented you are because no one reads your work more than you. Even Hongjoong," he says with an uptick of his lips, "You're right that no one knows how much you worked on this draft more than me. Which is why I was confident it'd be received well," he says, leaning his forehead against yours.

"I'm so proud of you. I always will be."

Tears spring to your eyes completely unbidden. You clutch onto him tighter, your body seemingly determined to meld itself as close to his as possible. San, for his part, doesn't seem to mind. Holding you to his solid form just as closely.

"I love you," you whisper into him. Honestly, you don't expect him to hear you so his, "I love you too," and kiss to your forehead catch you off-guard. Fortunately his next frantic mutter of 'shit' helps to diffuse the tension. Before you can ask what's wrong, he turns away from you once more to stir the pasta. Tension leaving his shoulders when it appears to not have burned.

You take that opportunity to lift yourself up onto the counter and observe his broad back once more. "I'm surprised our little energiser bunny isn't here," you start. You know you're home later than usual but, she's typically still up by now.

He laughs at that, the sound filling the kitchen wonderfully and setting butterflies alight in your stomach, "She's come down with a bit of a cold," the news makes you frown, your grip on the counter growing harsher, "It's nothing too bad but, she has been sleeping earlier over the past few days."

God, how could you miss that? Sometimes, it still leaves you stunned that she's already two. How much more of her life are you going to miss?

"Don't do that."

Your eyes fly up to meet the back of San's head. He seems satisfied with the dish, turning off the stove and setting the pot on one of the cool plates.

"I can hear you beating yourself up from here," he says, turning to you, and it takes a tremendous amount of effort not to shy away from the knowing look on his face. "You're a great mother. I know that, and so does she. Just because you didn't catch that she caught a cold like what, three days ago? Doesn't mean anything."

The guilt still remains but, it's significantly less than it was moments ago. You'll never understand how he does that.

"Now come on, I made this kick ass pasta, and I know you're really hungry right now," he says with a smile. "Grab one of your favourite bottles. I think we've earned it."

San was right. His pasta is delicious. Which shouldn't surprise you, but when you take your first forkful, you're still left stunned. You don't remember the last time you drank something that wasn't water, coffee, or an energy drink, so the wine is a welcome change of pace. The liquid warming your blood and your face and helping you feel more relaxed than you have in ages.

San being the main reason you feel so at ease. It really has been longer than you care to think about since the two of you have had the time to just be with one another. No looming thoughts of work or cleaning or nap times. Just the two of you basking in one another's presence.

"I think I'm going to take a bath before bed," you say once the two of you start clearing your plates and glasses, the wine still lingering pleasantly in your system, "Do you want to join me?"

The look he gives you sends lightning down your spine, straight to the apex of your thighs, "Is this your way of coming onto me?" He even has the nerve to shoot you a lopsided grin over one of his stupidly broad shoulders.

"I'm not not coming onto you but, I was just offering, if you want to."

He laughs at that, "Fair enough. I think I'm going to finish cleaning up here. Feel free to go on ahead, you've more than earned it."

"I can help you, if you'd like."

San waves you off, "I've got this. Now shoo. Go soak to your heart's content with all of your fancy soaps and fragrances."

You hesitate momentarily but, San shoots you a look that leaves little room for argument. With that you, you trudge your way down the hall towards your bedroom. However, you pass your daughter's room on the way there and are unable to push down that suddenly visceral urge to see her. So, ever so slightly and as quietly as humanly possible, you take a peak.

San was right, she's out like a light. Her soft inhales and exhales and little snores filling the space of her bedroom while she clutches onto her favourite blanket. You can hear the nasally quality to her breathing, and that makes you frown, but she's resting now, and that's all you can really ask for at the moment. Just as silently, you shut her door once more. The lightness that comes with just seeing her washing over you.

With that, you continue on your way to your bedroom, smiling at your neatly made bed before stripping out of your 'work clothes.' Which feels absurd to say since your typical work attire consisted of a hoodie and sweats but, you did have an array of more official attire specifically for meetings with Hongjoong, new releases and book signings. A quiet laugh leaves you when you remember that San confessed he thinks you look hot in them once. If you didn't feel little better than a log right now, you'd fuck him while wearing them again.

Shaking those memories from your mind, you drop your clothes into the laundry hamper. You yawn a little as you walk towards the bathroom. Honestly, a warm bath before crawling into your sheets and coiling yourself around San sounds like a dream right now. Despite his dramatics, you opt for a much simpler vanilla scented bath bomb to dissolve into your water this time around. Your eyes fluttering shut, and a moan echoing throughout the bathroom when you sink into the water. The warm temperature practically making you melt as you sink lower and lower.

You might just fall asleep right here.

However, the grime of your day is still on your skin, so you grab your washcloth and begin scrubbing it away. Humming a tone you're not quite sure where you heard as you go. You're too engrossed, and your mind is a little too hazy to notice San slip into the bathroom. He simply watches you for a few moments. Taking in the way the droplets of water run down your shoulders and your melodic voice caresses his ears.

"Need any help with that?"

Embarrassment causes your face to prickle with warmth when the water around you splashes at your startled jump. San at least has the decency to stifle his laughter as he walks over to you. Look far too amused for your liking.

"Jesus San, you scared me. Give a woman a warning," you say, melting into his touch when his strong hands ease themselves onto your shoulders.

"I'm sorry, baby," he doesn't sound all that sorry, and the laughter in his voice is yet to dissipate. Any complaints you have die on your tongue when he begins to knead the stiff muscles of your shoulder. Your eyes fluttering shut and soft moans of appreciation filling the bathroom as he works every knot and ache he can get his hands on.

Stupid hot man with his pretty hands that know how to turn you into a puddle.

"I already washed up earlier but, I thought you'd appreciate a massage," he mutters quietly, drinking in the way you dissolve under his hands. All your brain can manage is a hum in appreciation and acknowledgement of his words. He smiles at that at least he knows he's doing a good job.

You're not sure how much time passes before you're blinking your eyes awake. Your fingers have turned pruney, and your upper back feels tender and looser than it has in months. It's past time to get out of the bath, you think.

"Sannie, I think I'm ready to get out now. Thank you for the massage," you mutter, grabbing his hand and kissing his palm before draining the bathtub and stepping out.

"You're welcome," San responds a little dazed and, acting as though he hasn't seen you in the nude thousands of times at this point. It does wonders for your self-esteem, however.

You suppress a laugh as you wrap your towel around your body, and the trance he was in comes to an end.

"Let's go to bed."

You opt for one of San's older, majorly oversized shirts as your choice of sleepwear for the night. It brings you back to the earlier months of your relationship when he first shyly said you could keep it. He still wore it on occasion, so his scent still lingers on it just the way you love.

For all your teasing at his expense in the bathroom, you find yourself with your tongue tied when your eyes land on his bare torso. His bottom half is not much better since he's wearing boxers that cling to his thighs in a way that causes you to swallow. Hard.

If this is his way of attempting to seduce you, it's working. Maybe a little too well.

Magically, your legs remember how to work, and you manage to walk to your bed without tripping over yourself. If San notices your odd behaviour, he doesn't say much, choosing instead wrap you up in his arms as soon as you're within reach.

Your skin burns everywhere he touches. His fingers drawing nonsensical patterns over your thigh that he's strawn over himself. Your arm naturally drapping over his broad chest. You're surrounded by him and, suddenly you wonder why sleep was on your mind in the slightest.

"It was nice getting to spend some one on one time with you," he says, his eyes swallowing you whole when he sets them on you. You'll never understand how he manages to lace the most mundane comments with so much intensity.

"Mmm, I've missed it too," you confess, and it's true. Between the chaotic nature of both of your jobs and a child to raise, you two rarely have nights such as tonight for yourselves. Perhaps it's fondness or a simple want to that drives you to press a delicate kiss to his jaw.

Your insides twist themselves into knots when San's eyes turn heavy, he searches your face for something before speaking, "Are you tired?"

His intent couldn't be more clear if he literally spelled it out for you.

"No."

His hand drifts from your thigh to cup your face. His thumb dragging itself along your bottom lip and the temptation to take it into your mouth is visceral. However, you choose to see what he does instead with baited breath. His eyes follow the trail of his thumb as though it's the most significant sight in the world. You may just lose your mind if he doesn't just kiss you.

Fortunately for you, San doesn't keep you waiting for long. He kisses you slowly, a far cry from the months of hurried, frenzied kisses before either of you have to start your day or your daughter wakes up from one of her naps. Hands snaking between thighs to make sure you're wet and he's hard enough because quickies are the majority of what you've had the time and energy for.

Tonight, however, San kisses you as though you two have all of the time in the world. His thumb tracing your jaw as his tongue licks its way into your mouth. He even has the audacity to laugh when you whimper into him because of the intrusion. His laughter doesn't last, however, a strangled groan leaving him when you lightly nip his bottom lip.

A startled gasp flies from you when he rolls you on your back. His eyes are lidded and dark with barely restrained want as he looks down at you. This time, the way he kisses you is decidedly less tender. He doesn't hesitate to practically shove his tongue down your throat.

His muscular arms cage you in and, it's difficult to tell who moans louder when his half hard cock presses against your bare pussy. "You're not wearing anything?" He mutters against your jaw, sloppily kissing any skin he can as he slowly grinds against you. It's not easy to find your words with how all encompassing he is. Your nails biting into his shoulders. God, when did he get so jacked?

"No," you moan out finally when his teeth trace your pulse point and he brushes your clit, "I'm not." Some kissing and grinding and, you can already feel yourself getting wet. It really has been longer than you care to think about.

"Oh, you wanted this then," he breathes, one of his hands dragging up your body. His hand cups one of your breasts over his shirt, his thumb dragging circles over your nipple that pokes through the fabric, and that prompts your hips to jolt up into him. A drawn out whimper of his name ringing out through your bedroom, "You could've just said so, baby. I'd happily fuck you."

Between his ministrations, words and the petname, your walls clench hard around nothing. "San," is all your brain can supply at the moment. Your back arching when he playfully pinches your nipple between his fingers.

"Poor baby," he coos into your throat between licks and kisses, "Already so worked up. Don't worry, I'll take care of you." You don't have the presence of mind to bite back a whine when he separates himself from you. The amused smirk that spreads on his face twists the knife of arousal deeply embedded in your gut. He doesn't stay away from you for long. His hands impatiently tugging your sleeping shirt over your head and, tossing it somewhere on your bedroom floor.

You rarely feel shy with San. You've never had a reason to but, sometimes, when his face softens and he looks at you like he can't quite believe you're real and naked in front of him like he is now, the urge to cover your face does crop up.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers so quietly that you almost think he didn't mean to verbalise that particular thought. His kisses along your collarbone are featherlight, barely there as he trails his way down to your breasts. Your fingers weave themselves in his hair, and your breathing grows increasingly laboured when he kisses the tops of them. His eyes find yours through the locks of his hair when he licks at your nipple slowly.

Yours nearly flutter shut. Your body instinctively pressing into him to feel more. To feel as much as you possibly can. You tug on his hair harsher than you intend to when he finally envelopes it in his warm, wet mouth. His appreciative groan going straight to your clit. No matter how many times you've been with each other, San is ever the starved man. He sucks and licks and fondled as though he might die if he doesn't have as much of you as he can. For your part, all you can do is squirm and writhe, ever tug adding to the slick smearing your inner thighs.

He leaves your breast with a pop that is louder than strictly necessary. His eyes almost appear black when the search for yours again. The glazed quality to them makes you want to rub your thighs together but, he's firmly slotted between them. He holds your gaze as he kisses down your torso. Your breath hitching when he kisses just above your swollen clit.

"You smell so good," he moans and, you finally noticing him rutting against the mattress. God, if you weren't already beyond worked up. That thought is swiftly knocked out of your when when he does take his first lick of you. It's slow and drawn out. Starting from your dribbling entrance and ending at your clit. You never stood a chance.

Something broken and animalistic bubbles out of San's chest then. His hold on your thighs firm. Keeping you exactly where and how he wants you so you can't squirm away from him. A pitchy keen echoes throughout your bedroom when he fully wraps his lips around your clit. Years of experience making him an expert at pushing you to the the edge of your sanity in a matter of mintures. You're not quite sure what to do with your hands. They're restless. Not sure whether you want to claw at the sheets or play with your breasts but, you eventually settle on familiar territory. Electing to wind them in his dark locks once again.

They tug especially hard when his fingers toy with your weeping entrance. Collecting your arousal in his fingertips and swallowly thrusting into you. You both know that's not nearly enough for you and you whine brokenly, tugging on his hair harder. Prompting a moan from him and the vibrations sending shudders from the top of your spine to your extremities.

"San please," you finally cry out, bucking your hips into his face, "Your fingers. Please, please-"

You nearly choke on your spit when he complies. Pushing two fingers into gradually until he's knuckles deep inside of you. You're beyond wet so the stretch is minimal, but there's still enough of one to prompt some whimpers from you. He distracts with that stupidly skillful mouth of his. Drawing patterns on your clit with his tongue he knows will render you devoid of thought.

Your body jerks harshly when he moves his fingers. The first curls of them inside of you are so, so good. However, when San finds the part of your walls that makes it feel as though your vision goes white for a second, that's when it's truly all over for you. He's ruthless. Rubbing against over and over and over again as his mouth does not relent in the slightest on your poor clit. Licking and sucking with one clear-cut goal in mind. If you somehow had the strength to keep your eyes open, you'd notice his eyes watching you intently. Drinking in every pinch of your brows and the way your pretty mouth is stuck in a permanent O. The ache in his jaw is nothing compared to any of that.

San is rewarded for his unrelenting consistently when your grip in his hair grows even harsher, to the point where it starts to sting but, he couldn't care less because you're cumming on his face and around his fingers. One of his hands shoots up to, unfortunately, cover your mouth because you were getting loud. He doesn't want to risk waking up your daughter, but he continues to lap at you and finger you through your release, albeit less intensely.

"San," you whine weakly against his hand when your consciousness trickles back into your body. Lightly tugging his face away from him. He whines but, otherwise doesn't put up much of a fight. Removing his hand from your mouth, he gradually removing his fingers from your walls and parting from your pussy with one final kiss.

Sometimes, in the private parts of your mind, you wonder if he'd ever let you take a picture of him like this. Eyes completely glassy with your wetness smeared across his nose, lips and chin, and a pretty flush colouring his tan skin. Without much of a second thought, you tug him towards you. The taste of yourself on his lips is a little salty, but it's not unpleasant. Maybe it's a little narcissistic to admit, but it kind of adds fuel to the fire in your core. San kisses you back fiercely as though his jaw hadn't been working for who knows how long. His erection is scorching and heavy against your thigh as he grinds against you shallowly.

Considering how distracted he is, it's easy to roll him onto his back. He blinks up at you in surprise and he just looks so cute you have to kiss him. So you do. Pressing kisses along his jaw as your fingernails drag along his muscular torso. You really don't know when he got this muscular or, how he even had the time to but, you're not complaining.

"You're so beautiful, Sannie," you whisper in his ear. Biting back a giggle when he flushes a deeper shade of pink and squirms underneath you, "Thank you," he mutters, but it's barely loud enough for you to hear. You manage somehow anyway.

The muscles in his abdomen jump when your fingers ghost over them. Now it's your turn to toy with him. Snapping the waistband of his boxers and delighting in the way it makes him grow more and more restless.

"Please touch me," he begs, and when he looks at you with his pretty, brown eyes and the pout he knows you're a weakling against, how could you ever say no?

You shuffle lower and drag his boxers off of him, he lifts his hips to help you along the way and his cock smacks against toned abdomen. Your walls instinctively clench hard at the sight of his cock, glistening with pre-cum that's streaked his stomach, before you even unceremoniously dispose of his boxers.

You straddle him. Leaning down to press a kiss to his lips again which he readily accepts, his hands gripping your hips hard enough that you wouldn't be surprised if his fingerprints were burned into your skin. The moan he let's out against your lips when your wet slit glides along his cock worsens the emptiness you feel but, it's always so enjoyable watching him lose his composure. Your nails dig into his shoulders with ever brush and bump against your clit, your hips picking their pace as you chase your own pleasure.

"Fuck," he groans out gutturally, "Stop teasing please."

"Well, what do you want, baby?" You ask with a faux confused tilt of your head, dragging your teeth along his neck as you continue to cover him in your arousal. You know you're probably going to pay for this later but, you'll have your fun for now.

"Fuck me, please" Well, when he asks so cutely, how could you ever deny him?

You pull away from him and grip him in your hand. He's even hotter in your palm, and his weight makes saliva pool in your mouth, but that can wait for another time. He's already more than slick enough for you so you decide to end both of your respective miseries and slowly sink down onto him.

It's been a week, maybe, since the last time you felt him inside of you, so the stretch this time does take you some adjusting. He's so thick, and even after so long, sometimes you need to take a second. San is patient as ever, even though his cock twitches with ever centimetre you manage to sink down on. That and the way his hold on your grows more desperate are the only indicators of his restraint, but he watches your face and body like a hawk. Making sure it's not too much for you.

You unintentionally claw at his abs when your ass final comes to rest on his firm thighs. Honestly, your body is still reeling from your orgasm and your thighs feel closer to jello, but you want to ride him for as long as you can. You crack your eyes open when the overwhelming sensation of him being sheathed inside of you mostly subsides, and the sight San creates reminds you why you wanted to do this in this first place.

His eyes already look so fucked out, he's barely keeping them open. However, they're open nonetheless, and his gaze is laser focused between your thighs. Utterly enraptured with watching himself completely inside of you. And his face contorts beautifully when you rise up before slowly sinking back down onto him.

His hands drift from your hips to hold onto your thighs when you find your rhythm. You can already feel the fatigue beginning to settle into your thighs with every bounce on his cock but, watching the way his brows pinch in pleasure and his moans caress your ears is enough to motivate you to keep going.

His can't seem to decide where to focus. They alternate between watching your face and the mirade of expressions that flit across it, watching the way your breasts bounce in time with your rhythm on him and watching the way his cock splits you open over and over again. Glistening with your wetness that trickles down him onto the sheets beneath the two of you.

Despite the tiredness creeping up on you, San feels good. Great, even, like he always does. One of the best parts of riding him is that you've mastered angling yourself just right that every brush of his cock sends your nerves alight. You thought maybe it would be too soon but, one of your hands leaves his abs to rub frantic circles into your clit. It's so difficult to focus on maintaining the pace you set, but you try. Despite your mind being hazy and desperate for the chance to cum again. Cum around him this time.

San doesn't complain in the slightest. In fact, based on the whines that hit your eardrums, the way his hands help you continue bouncing on him as best as you can and his cock twitches incessantly, he's happy to watch you and let you use him to cum again.

"Are you going to cum again for me, baby?" He breathes, focusing his attention fully on the apex of your thighs this time around. Shallowly thrusting up into you and taking in the way your fingers frantically rub your clit to bring yourself over the edge. He steadies himself when all you can respond with are nods and whimpers. Your eyes shut tightly as you focus on nothing but, your release.

"You're so fucking hot," he groans, "Using me to get yourself off. Please cum for me, baby. I want to watch you."

His words slam into you like a runaway train, and so does your oragsm. You couldn't maintain your pace on him even if you tried. Your thighs shake violently around him and the shudders spread throughout your entire body, your extremities curling into themselves. You try your best not to dig your nails into his skin too harshly but, your mind isn't all that there with you right now. Your walls clamping down like a vice around him so tightly that he can't thrust into you all that much.

Typically, San would happily let you ride out your climax. Waiting patiently, well as patiently as he can manage, for you to gather some semblance of your bearings. However, a man can only handle so much. He's just as worn thin by your lack of intimacy as you are. He knows it's no one's fault, the responsibilities of being adults and parents have just taken priority but, it hasn't been easy for him either. Feeling and drinking in the sight of you cumming for him drives him to roll you onto your back. Your hazy eyes blink up at him as you attempt to piece together what's happening.

"Do you need a minute?" He asks, well, more like pants, into your ear. He's still slotted firmly inside of and his body practically shakes with how much he's holding himself back from pumping you full of his cum right now. Your higher order functions gradually come back to you, and you wrap your arms around him, pulling him closer to you before responding, "Hm, no. I'm okay."

That's seemingly all San needs because he hooks your legs over his elbows and starts to move. Given how long he's been holding out for, it's no surprise that his thrusts are merciless from the offset. The obscene sounds of skin slapping against skin and his heavy balls smacking your ass and, your intertwined moans ring out through your bedroom once again.

He looks so gorgeous with the way his hair sticks to his sweat forehead and his face is blissed out beyond belief. The slight burn in your thighs from the way he has you folded is worth it both because of how much he's enjoying himself and how deeply it pushes him. You doubt you can cum again so soon but, your weakly spasming walls still milk him for everything he's worth.

Based on the way his breathing increases and his grip on you is well beyond bruising coupled with his increasing moans and his precise thrusts morph into sloppy ones, he's close. The thought forces a whimper from you and your pussy clenches around him harder, "Are you going to cum for me, Sannie?" You moan directly into his ear. Your hands caressing his firm pecs and admiring them momentarily before circling his nipples. If your pussy wasn't being abused by him you'd giggle at the way he jolts, his hips jerking into you with every brush. A keen greeting your ears when you tug on them a little harder.

"I- I'm-" his words, or lack thereof, come out in a jumbled, throaty mess.

"Please? I want it so badly, baby," which isn't untrue, but you know the effect these words have on you like no other, "You're going to cum inside me, right?"

In the mess of words that you're able to register you can make out some mixture of your name, 'fuck', 'please' and 'yes' but, everything else is swallowed by his noises of pleasure as his cock throbs inside of you and ropes of his cum paint your waiting walls white. You don't think you'll ever tire of that feeling. Him pressed so close to and his lips brushing against your skin with every desperate noise that leaves his mouth while he rides out his release.

"San," you wheeze out, "San, baby, as much as I love you my thighs hurt."

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry," he says, unhooking your legs from his arms, and your muscles feel significantly less strained. You know the two of you need to start cleaning up, his cum is already starting to trickle out of you, and you definitely need to pee at some point, but you're far too comfortable and relaxed to find the desire to move a millimetre right now.

"I missed this," he mutters into your shoulder, pressing sporadic kisses to whatever skin he has access to.

"I missed this too," you whisper in response, if you speak any louder part of you is worried this'll be ruined. You pull him a little tighter to you, toying with the ends of his hair.

"If I'm being honest, I'm glad you're finished with your book for many reasons," you can hear the mischievous grin in his voice clear as day, "one of them being that I can now properly fuck my wife."

"You're so ridiculous," you laugh, but you don't disagree with his sentiment.

Reblogs are greatly appreciated.

Do not repost, edit, copy and/or translate my work. I do not give you my permission to do so, nor will you ever receive it.

#choi san smut #san smut #ateez smut

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chaotic-good-hippie · 2 years

Text

Recuérdame

Pairing: Jack Russell (MCU) x FemReader (she/her) | SoulmateAU!

Summary: After losing his soulmate a little over a century ago, Jack has long forgotten about love, unable to move on. One night, in a nightclub, life gives him a second chance.

Warnings: Age gap (I mean, the man is 357 here), if you squint your eyes there are some sexual innuendos at the end, mentions of death, non-descriptive reader (but reader does drink tequila at some point)

Inspire by: "Recuérdame" cover by Natalia Lafourcade ft. Carlos Rivera

Tags: @littlenosoul | @bitchyglitterfox | @lilpunkrock | @kingtwhiddleston

«How terrible it’s to love something death can touch», especially if one is immune to it. Jack knew from the moment their eyes locked with each other's that he was bound to lose her eventually, that someday he’d have to watch her die, and there was nothing he— or anyone else— could do about it. He convinced himself he'll be prepared for it, let her go in peace when the time came. But heavens, did he underestimate how cruel destiny could be.

She started coughing on Monday morning, and by Wednesday night, she was gone. Jack couldn’t understand how it all happened so fast and why life had been so vicious with them both. The doctor, the best money could pay, said it was just the flu and that she’ll recover in days without further problems; yet, Jack could feel her slipping through his fingers with each passing hour. The cough gave place to a burning fever that forced her to bed, and by the next morning, she had trouble breathing as she came in and out of consciousness.

Desperate, he called every doctor, nurse, and healer in town and begged them to save his dear wife's life in exchange for whatever riches they desired. They tried everything their knowledge and skills allowed them to cure her and, at the very least, ameliorate the symptoms, but it was useless. He could see it in their faces, in the way they avoided certain words around him and their worried glances towards her.

Wednesday afternoon, everyone was sent home at her request, leaving them all by themselves in the mansion they had shared for seven blissful years. Enveloped in the darkness of night, the halls and rooms felt cold and devoid of life, the only sign of their presence coming from their bedroom: The faint light of a candle. It stood up by her bedside table, lighting up her wan face as he sat on a chair next to it, his head resting on her abdomen.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice came out as a breathy whisper as her tender fingers scratched behind his ear. “I’m terribly sorry, my love.”

“Don’t be; it’s not your fault.” It took everything in him not to break down into a puddle of tears and a mess of sobs. “You’ve been nothing but good to me.”

"Promise me you'll find another to keep you company." The request caught him off guard, his teary eyes turning to her in disbelief. "You're too pure for this world, my love. I'm afraid to leave you for all those terrors out there to feast upon you."

"Corazón, mi vida..." He took her hands between his to kiss her knuckles, his heart shattering into a million pieces inside his chest. He couldn't believe that even in her last moments, she was worried about him, the utter devotion and love she had for him. "I... I can't. I could never..."

"Jack, please, please." How could he deny her anything when she looked at him with such profound despair? "I want... No, I need you to be happy. I'll always be with you, no matter what; whenever you may be, I'll follow... But you can't be on your own for who knows how long, my love. I don't want you to be alone."

"Alright." He kissed her chapped lips delicately as he nodded. "I promise I won't be alone; you don't have to worry about me no more, amor mío."

"I love you."

"I love you too. You're the most beautiful thing that could ever happen to me."

He couldn't hold it anymore: a sob escaped from his lips as the first tear slid down his cheek. She was quick to dry it, and while he leaned against her palm with closed eyes, she softly stroked his hair.

"There better be a sea of marigolds and tequila on the altar this November, or I'll haunt you for the rest of eternity." She tried joking in hopes of seeing his smile one last time.

«Haunt me then! Be with me always— take any form— drive me mad! Only do not leave in this abyss, where I cannot find you!» Never had he understood Heathcliff's pain as much as he did then. Still, to avoid disturbing her further, he smiled and hugged her waist tighter.

"Whatever you desire, querida."

They remained silent after that, her loving touch and faint breath lulling him into sleep not long after. It was the rays of dawn that filtered through the closed curtains that woke him up hours later, the candle far extinguished. He didn't even need to look; her cold and stiff hands revealed that his greatest fear had come true.

"Vuelve a mi, corazón. Por favor, por favor..." He'd never cried so hard in his entire life, his face pressed against her chest as he repetead as a chant: "Te amo, te amo, te amo..."

Jack buried a part of himself with her, but the truth is, all he wanted was to end his misery and lay with her three feet underground. The first few weeks after the funeral, he found it impossible to get off their shared bed in an aching attempt to hold onto the lingering scent of her in the sheets. But when it vanished, along with all the remains of her presence in the mansion, he sold it and moved as far as he could. As for his promise, he couldn’t keep it; he couldn’t find it in himself to even look at any other, no matter how much time passed. He carried her deep in his chest, in that corner of his heart where he had built her a perpetual altar.

Years, decades, and a whole century passed, but the sorrow never truly disappeared; he just learned to live with it. Still, if one is observant enough and looks at him closely, one would find an ever-present mourning in his eyes.

In the darkness of this club, though— he thinks— you won't even be able to see your own shoes.

Every year since he met him, Ted will drag him and a bunch of other monsters to this particular nightclub in his town for Halloween. It's the only night of the year in which they can easily blend in with the humans without fearing the hunters, and a dark, crowded club is an excellent place to hide in plain sight. Typically, Jack would never set foot in a place like that, but for his friend, he'd withstand all the noise for some hours.

"Why is it that with every year, it gets stinkier in here?" Simon asks as they make their way to a table, the neon lights flashing them occasionally.

She's right; it reeks of alcohol and sweat, but it isn't even that bad. Besides, something sweet and pleasant is hiding among the crowd, luring Jack deeper into the place; it's familiar and welcoming, but he can't identify why.

"What is it, doggie?" Shiklah questions him after noticing his distracted demeanor, his eyes scanning the place. "Too much for an old wolf?"

"No, it's just... Can't any of you smell that? There's a weird scent in here."

"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock." Satana mocks him, making the others laugh.

As they sit and start catching up with each other, Jack finally identifies where he had smelled that aroma before, making his heart stop for a second.

An interesting thing about humans (and monsters, too) is that each one possesses a unique scent, and while their noses cannot identify this, his canine nature allows him to easily make the distinction. This is why he believes to be hallucinating when his brain finally puts a name and face to the aroma currently invading his nostrils. He knows that scent to its core; it's embedded in his skin and memory like a scar, one he had pushed to the back of his mind long ago for survival. It lights something within him, a part of him he believed to have been buried in a faraway land beside the one and only woman he's ever loved.

Jack jumps out of his seat, looking around him in confusion and longing. Whoever smells like that is getting closer, approaching their spot as he circles the table and tries to locate them.

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry," He answers Ted, who asked him if he's alright as the others look at him baffled. "I just need to..."

Distracted and blinded by the darkness, Jack bumped into a woman as he tried to excuse himself away from his friends, something spilling on his shirt.

"Chin! I'm terribly sorry!"

"Oh, no, don’t be; it’s not your fault!" The voice makes him freeze in his tracks, hands trembling. "I didn't see you there; it's too dark in here."

His gaze slowly lifts from the dark floor to the face of the woman in front of him, her face slightly illuminated by neon blue light. Her eyes lock with his, the faintest sign of familiarity in them, and god was he convinced for a moment to have died. Before him, there's a ghost; literally, she's dressed up as one: flowy white dress and dark makeup. Even in the dim, he can recognize all the marks and lines he'd traced so many times with his fingers, the curve of the lips he'd kissed endless times, and the irises he woke up to for seven years in what seems like a lifetime ago.

She looks just as when he first met her, her tone and movements are identical copies of hers, and she scents the exact fucking same. It drives him wild; it makes him hot and needy. He just wants to jump at her and hug her, smell her, kiss her, taste her...

"Lucifer!" Shiklah's voice wakes him from his trance. "You are the walking portrait of..." He steps on her foot to shut her up, earning a yelp from her part. The others turn to check on her, allowing Jack to apologize without feeling their stares on them.

"Damn it, I think I stained your shirt." she points to his chest, where a big wet spot lies: tequila, the smell tells him.

"It's nothing, really; I was distracted as well... Could I offer to buy you another?"

"You know? There are better ways to approach a woman than spilling her drink, pretty boy." His cheeks immediately burn; heavens, did he miss her coquetry.

"It worked, didn't it?" She laughs, a sound that crosses directly to his death-hollow heart and reanimates it from his century-long sleep.

"I usually don't accept drinks from strangers, but I think I could make an exception for you."

"I'm Jack Russell, at your service, señorita." Slowly, he took her hand and kissed the back of it, his gaze fixed on hers. "And you are...?"

She gave him the same name his lips were used to pronounce as a prayer in another life, one his tongue rolled off with such naturalness it seemed tailored to it.

"Not so much of a stranger now, eh? Now, how about that drink?"

"The bar is over there." She pointed to his left. "Want me to lead you, Jack?"

His heart fluttered as she looped her arm with his, guiding him across the floor with a seductive smile on her lips.

#jack russell x reader #jack russell #jack russell x you #marvel #mcu #werewolf by night #gael garcia bernal #soulmate au

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unreliablesnake · 1 year

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I shouldn't love you, yet here we are (Joel Miller x reader) - part 1

Summary: Years after your fruitless “Joel phase”, Tommy shows interest in you, and the playful flirting shifts into your first date. Joel isn't too fond of the idea of you dating his brother.

Note: This is gonna be a series with shorter and longer chapters. There's Tommy x reader stuff, but they won't last. Especially with Joel around. / I take full responsibility for mistakes and typos and stuff. I didn't proofread it. I'm so bad. / If you want to know when I post new stuff, follow @unreliablesnakefics and hit the get notifications button. I don't have a taglist.

Part 2

Warnings: afab!reader (will be relevant in later chapters), dbf!Joel, age gap (reader is around 30, Joel is in his early 40s), no outbreak, I fucked with time and this takes place a few years after the beginning of the game, not the series. (So it's the mid/late-2010s)

Despite moving out to an apartment in downtown Austin a few years ago, you still visited your parents every weekend, sometimes staying over in your room for the night if they invited some people over and you had fun. This was one of those Saturdays when your dad turned on the grill and held a good old barbecue party in his home for a few friends, some you hadn’t seen in months.

The Millers came over too, of course. Joel and Sarah lived a few houses down the street, while Tommy usually tagged along because why not. Your father loved them, especially the older Miller, but you were more interested in his brother with whom you had been flirting with back and forth for months now.

“I swear your dad’s burgers are the best in town,” he said with his mouth full. He wasn’t wrong; your dad was a chef in a very good restaurant so he definitely knew what he was doing. “You sure you’re not hungry? I’ll give you a bite if you want,” he offered.

“He tested a new recipe on me for lunch. I’m full, trust me,” you replied with a laugh as you sat down next to him on the sofa, sitting so close that your thighs brushed.

Tommy didn’t even flinch. It was oh-so-natural for the two of you by now, like you had already been dating for a long time. But it wasn’t the case, for some reason he hadn’t asked you out yet. It hurt your pride, sure, but you assumed he just wasn’t sure if that’s what you wanted. You were giving him the signs to make him understand you were ready, but he just wasn’t picking up on them.

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Joel talking to your dad, and for a moment the both of them turned their attention to you. While your father flashed a smile at you, there was a look on Joel’s face that you couldn’t quite decipher. It was as if he disapproved of what was happening between you and his brother, but at the same time there was something else, something closer to disappointment. Not the kind when you’re disappointed in a certain someone, more like when you’re disappointed in a situation.

If it even made sense, that is.

Taking a deep breath, you tore your gaze away from them and turned to Tommy instead. “What are you doing tomorrow?” you asked, hoping he would finally get the hint.

“We’re taking Sarah to the zoo,” he replied without hesitation.

“Oh,” you said disappointedly.

But then he put down his now empty plate and turned to look at you. “Why?”

“I just thought you should come over. You know, we could order something to eat and watch a movie or something.”

Or something. As in him finally making a move on you and the two of you getting stuck in your bedroom for the rest of the night. That would make you feel good, especially since you hadn’t slept with anyone since this flirting with Tommy began. Whether he was seeing women during this time was a mystery, but you sure as hell didn’t want to complicate things in case he suddenly admitted his feelings for you.

He watched you for a while in silence, the gears in his head clearly turning as he thought about your suggestion. Then he stood up and your heart sank. Was he leaving you behind like this? Did you say something wrong?

But he smiled down at you eventually. “I’ll check with Joel and Sarah if they can manage without me,” he said with a wink.

With a laugh you waved him goodbye and wished him luck, then watched as he caught his brother and niece who were talking to your parents. They were out of earshot, so you had no idea what they were saying, but at one point your mom said something to Tommy that made him put his hand on the back of his neck nervously, and you didn’t miss the way Joel’s jaw tightened all of a sudden as he glanced over at you.

Your mom had noticed the flirting between you and Tommy a month or two ago, and she had been supportive since the beginning. “He’s such a nice guy,” she said happily. So this is why you wouldn’t be surprised–and be totally mortified–if she had suggested it would be a date. That would explain the younger Miller’s reaction, but Joel’s? Not so much.

A few years ago you would have given everything to be noticed by him. He was the gold standard; a nice and hardworking man who was also a dedicated and good father. Your dad had once made a comment that you should date someone like him, not some idiot who was only thinking about partying.

But despite your best efforts to get his attention, Joel always kept his distance. You were hurt a bit, but soon accepted that he just wasn’t interested in you. Hell, as far as you knew from snippets of your parents’ conversations, he hadn’t really been interested in anyone since the divorce.

Years passed and lately Tommy took an interest in you apparently. You didn’t mind the attention, in fact you found it flattering, you just wished he would finally man up and tell you exactly what he wanted from you. Was it just innocent flirting? Or did he have other intentions?

So you waited and kept playing this game with him, hoping he would come around at one point.

“When should I arrive?” Tommy asked with a grin when he returned to you.

The two of you discussed the details, then you left to help your mom with a few things in the kitchen. She was watching you with a wide grin as she rested her hips against the counter. You raised an eyebrow, silently asking what she wanted to tell you.

“I’m so happy for you, sweetheart,” she said, earning a surprised look from you. “The date. Finally!”

“It’s not a date, mom.”

Laughing, she waved her hand and picked up a half-empty bottle of wine. “Well, after I planted the seed with an innocent comment, he sure believes it is,” she explained as she read the label on the bottle. “You’re welcome,” she added as she glanced at you for a moment.

A part of you was mad at her for meddling in your private life, but at the same time another part was happy she made him realize what he wanted. In the end the latter part won and you hugged her tightly while saying thank you over and over again. She laughed at this as she rubbed your back with her hand.

In the rest of the evening you chatted with other guests, happy to meet some people you hadn’t seen since you graduated from college. Your mom’s friend from high school, the one who moved to Seattle a few years back, said you were glowing, and you told her it was because you were truly happy with your life right now.

As the guests began to go home, Tommy and Sarah also lined up to leave, much to your disappointment. But Sarah had to wake up early the next day for some reason, and his uncle offered to take her home and keep her safe until your dad and Joel talked some more in private.

You flashed a sad smile at Tommy, who pulled you into a hug and placed a soft kiss on the crown of your head. “See you tomorrow,” he whispered. “There’s one thing, though, a change in the plan. We’re going to the Six Flags Fiesta Texas in San Antonio with Joel and Sarah, so we’re leaving early in the morning. It’s gonna be fun,” he added with a playful smile.

No, it wouldn’t be fun. You didn’t tell this to him, of course, but this is how you felt. Did you love these places? Sure. Did you wanna go there with him? Of course, that would sound like fun. Would having other two people joining you on your date make it more fun? Absolutely not. You loved them, but you wanted to be alone with him.

“Sounds great,” you lied with a forced smile when you leaned back to look him in the eye.

They left, and as you were heading upstairs to hit the shower and get in bed, you bumped into Joel at the top of the stairs. It seemed like he tensed up when he noticed you, and for some reason you felt like you had done something wrong. Where was the nice Joel you had known so well? The one who would crack a terrible joke to start a conversation?

“Going to bed already?” he asked you, his brown eyes moving to his watch as he spoke. You nodded, deliberately not saying a word. “I’m glad you’re coming with us tomorrow.”

I’m not, you wanted to say. “Sounds like fun,” you lied once again. The corners of his lips curled into a smile as he carefully studied your face, but he remained silent, as if he was waiting for you to say something, to finally break the ice. “Why did you change the plan? When Tommy went to ask you if it would be okay if he came over to my place instead of being with you, the plan was going to the zoo, not to fucking San Antonio.”

Joel took a deep breath as he rubbed his face with his hand almost guiltily. “You two aren’t glued to me and Sarah, and it’s a big park,” he replied, knowing full well what he had done with his suggestion. “I’m sorry if I screwed up your plans, okay?”

“You’re right, it’s a big enough place for the four of us,” you said with a nod. “Good night, Joel.”

But when you wanted to walk past him, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back. “Why him?” he asked quietly with a weird glint in his eyes. “You know what he’s like with women, I’m sure you don’t want things to be awkward once he gets bored of you,” he said with brutal honesty.

This was something you had already considered. Yes, Tommy was known for being a charmer who often looked for new challenges, but maybe you could change him. And even if you couldn’t, you were adults, you were sure you could handle it. “I’ll take the risk,” you replied quietly.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt, sweetheart,” he told you softly.

Feelings from six years ago emerged at his tone and the pet name. That was the first and last time he had talked to you like this, being this warm and nice and caring. That was the day you began to yearn for him, when you decided to try and get him no matter how bad it would be considering his friendship with your dad.

*********

It was after a friend’s birthday party. You were still living at home at the time, and you got home early in the morning, around three or maybe four. You were drunk, and completely forgot that Joel stayed with you for a few days because of some bug situation in their house. Tommy’s place at the time was too small for the three of them, that’s why only Sarah stayed there with her uncle.

You barely made it past the door when you felt like throwing up, so you quickly rushed to the kitchen and let the contents of your stomach end up in the sink. Your high heels were a little too loud, and Joel woke up to the sound, probably hearing you puke as well. Before you knew it, he was leaning against the counter next to you with his arms folded over his chest.

“You okay?”

“Does it look like I’m okay?” you asked, sounding a little ruder than intended. “Sorry, I just feel like shit.”

With a sigh, Joel reached over to pull your hair back when you threw up again. It was embarrassing and you wished you could just crawl into a hole and die. But you were here, and the older Miller was doing his best to help. When you reached for a glass to get some water, he was quick to stop you.

“Only take one sip every once in a while, okay?” he asked as he poured you some water. “You don’t wanna end up vomiting again.”

“Thanks,” you said as you took the glass from him.

“Did you have fun?”

You nodded without hesitation. It was a great party, and you told Joel some fun stories that probably didn’t sound so fun to an outsider. He wasn’t there, he didn’t know your friends, so he probably didn’t even care. But he listened, and it felt good to tell someone about your evening, knowing your parents would rather not hear your party stories.

There was something about the look in Joel’s eyes that you didn’t understand. Despite being drunk as hell, you could have sworn there was longing in there, something you definitely wasn’t expecting to see. But now that you took a good look at him, you noted once again how handsome he looked in the middle of the night.

“Go to bed,” he told you hoarsely before clearing his throat. “Can you get upstairs on your own?” When you nodded, he leaned over to place a soft kiss on your temple, then turned around to go back to sleep on the couch.

You remained there for a minute or two, wondering what this was all about. But then you felt your legs slowly giving in, so you went to your bedroom and slipped under the covers to get a few hours of sleep. Sleep with dreams that were full of Joel fucking Miller.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #tommy miller x reader #tommy miller #the last of us #tlou #joel miller x you

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commander-krios · 2 months

Text

Tagged by @aevallare, thank you my love <3 I did this before, but I can't remember how long ago? lol so I'll just do it again.

Not tagging anyone specific but feel free to use this and tag me in it so I can see your answers!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

228

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

446,245

3) What fandoms do you write for?

BG3, Mass Effect, Andromeda Six, edit: I can't believe I forgot KOTOR

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Better Judgement: Rolan/f!Tav, Mature

The Fall: Krem/f!Lavellan, General

Long Rest: Rolan/f!Tav, General

If It Pleases You: Krem/f!Lavellan, Teen

Nights Like This: Rolan/f!Tav, Teen

5) Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I love comments and try to respond to each one if I have time. I've been slacking lately, but I swear, if you leave one, I will most likely respond to you.

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooof, that would be the fic where I wrote my Amell joining his wife, @caffeinatedrogue's Leda, on her Calling.

The Calling

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

For a more recent fic (since I write quite a few happy fics), I'd say With Devotion And A Little Luck ended quite happily.

8) Do you get hate on fics?

Not directly. Not sure if anyone vagues about me, lol but no one has ever complained to me personally.

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, occasionally. Usually it's M/F smut, but I've done M/M as well.

10) Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't believe so

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

I'm unsure if I have or not

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yup! I'm cowriting a fic with a friend that's an original work, not fanfiction, so it's secret. Also do Round Rugan with my friends over at the Zhent server.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Nooo don't make me pick! I'm going to pick one per fandom, i don't care if it's cheating.

BG3- Rolan/Juniper Mass Effect- Charley/Thane Andromeda Six- Damon/Astrea KOTOR- Revan/Canderous Dragon Age (for the hell of it)- Elissa/Nathaniel

15) What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a FemShepley AU where Shepard gets turned into a husk like creature by the Illusive Man instead of the normal Shepard like ME2 and it's almost like a "Ashley tries like hell to help Shepard remember who she was before" fic. It's heavy, not sure if I'll ever manage to finish it, but I'm obsessed with the idea.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, banter, characterization

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Smut, world building

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I won't do it if I can help it, especially if I'm not fluent in it. If it's a made up language, like Mando'a, I will try to learn enough to get by, but I prefer to not butcher a language I don't know.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

Buffy, I believe, but that was a long time ago. As far as tumblr fic goes, probably Skyrim?

20) Favorite fic you’ve written?

Making me pick a favorite child?

I think I'm obsessed with the writing I did in Astrea/Damon's fic, A Shimmer of Gold. So I'll plug that fic today.

#ao3 stats #things i'm tagged in #my writing #long post

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bidisasterevankinard · 10 months

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Inspiration Saturday 🎙️🎸

For me it's saturday and I need to share what I did for inspiration for enemies to lovers cause I can't wait (I'm actually so so excited about this fic)

+ snippet (Look they can talk like normal people)

it goes after that snippet

At some moment Eddie is so lost in his own bubble consisting of him and the music he plays that when a mug with something that clearly smells like coffee is lowered near him, he just blinks for a few seconds trying to figure out what happened.

While he comes out of a working trance, followed by shock, Buckley just comes back to his notes with another cup, sipping his coffee.

Looking at the cup and then sniffing coffee, Eddie speculates if Buckley could have mixed something to poison him.

“It’s just black coffee. Chim once said you prefer just black. And I’m not an idiot to kill you when there are so many witnesses around,” blonde looks at him while he sips coffee sitting on his chair with his mile-long legs tucked under him, grinning.

“I know Bobby longer than you, and I know we actually would end this song. So like it or not, we need to have a truce at least till the song is released. Consider this coffee my step towards a truce, yours is on you. But it will be easier for both of us if we at least try not to bicker,” on that Buckley turns away from him.

For a second Eddie wants to say that they would need to be here at all if Buckley doesn't get on his nerves and doesn't start fights all the time, but Eddie shuts up, bitterly admitting that Buckley is right, Bobby won't back off until the song is ready and quarrels will only complicate their situation.

He grabs the cup and takes a sip, noting that Buck somehow managed to program that monster Hildy so that even his black coffee is incredible. Taking a few more sips, Eddie ponders his move, watching as Buckley crosses out the more lines that he wrote just five minutes ago.

“Do you eat chocolate with coffee?”

Buckley turns back to him with a raised eyebrow and nods.

Eddie reaches into his bag and takes two chocolate bars he bought when took Chris to school cause he didn’t have time to have breakfast when he overslept his alarm.

“Catch,” Eddie says and throws one bar to blue-eyed who catches it easily.

“Was in some sports team?”

“Football. High school,” Buckley says, opening his bar. “Thanks, this one is my fav.”

“I would suspect you played basketball, but football makes sense too. Why did you stop?”

“Serious leg injury. Three operations,” blonde shrugs like three operations at a young age means nothing, Eddie in his example knows that this is not easy. “My parents didn't let me play anymore, and I didn't want to. Music has always been closer to me. So I just accepted the sign of the universe and devoted myself completely to music.”

Eddie grins.

“Universe seriously? You believe in this bullshit?”

“It’s not bullshit, Diaz. Universe can literally scream at you. And I prefer to listen to it until it is not using big guns like lightning or bullets,” Buckley shows him his tongue at his exasperated head shaking. “What about you? Any sports team?”

“Baseball. Was on the way to becoming a professional actually,” Eddie admits as they apparently share their high school experiences before becoming superstars.

Tagging if they want to share : @honestlydarkprincess @911onabc @ebdaydreamer @alyxmastershipper @transbuck @cowboy-buddie @lover-of-mine @heartshapedvows @bekkachaos @panbuckley @rogerzsteven @the-likesofus @elvensorceress @shortsighted-owl @barbiediaz @buddierights @housewifebuck @thewolvesof1998 @wildlife4life @wikiangela @hippolotamus @transboybuckley @devirnis @heartbeatdiaz @buck-coded @spotsandsocks @monsterrae1 @spaceprincessem @userdisaster @caroandcats @mandzuking17 @useramor @loveyourownsmiilee @translasso and anyone who wants to share

#enemies to lovers au wip #buddie #buddie wip #inspiration saturday #evan buckley #eddie diaz #evan buck buckley #911 #enemies to lovers singers au wip #my writing

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