#i like to think Cat was just a little bit bemused by it all

[smeg-and-the-red]

I think it's a little bit funny to imagine that Cat was secretly baffled by how hard Lister and Rimmer worked at staying occupied and entertained at all times in the early series

#Cat is generally so easygoing compared to the other two #in the early series he napped and he made his outfits and he explored the ship at his leisure #and that was fine for him #the other two on the other hand were constantly looking for ways to fill the time #(eg Lister blowing bubbles with gum and measuring the diameters and Rimmer painting the corridors even though the difference is negligible) #i like to think Cat was just a little bit bemused by it all #red dwarf

[inoreuct]

i mean- if youre willing to write the angstier version 🥺🥺

https://www.tumblr.com/inoreuct/738704605780885504/thinking-about-zoro-being-the-crews-main

more than willing 🤭 enjoy!!

everything kind of hurts when nami comes to.

she honestly can’t tell if she’s opened her eyes or not; it’s all pitch black, and her eyelids feel gummy. the lashes of her left eye are crusted together with what’s probably the same thing making her forehead stiff, so that’s most likely blood. lovely.

the back of her skull bumps against something hard and cold with damp as she cranes her neck around, trying to get her bearings, and she can bend her wrists just enough to confirm that those are chains wrapped around them above her head. it's still too dark to see but she can smell salty air, mildew and rust, hear the vague murmur of the ocean; her body feels sore and stiff all over but she can't have been hanging here long. her shoulders haven't started hurting the way she knows they can.

something moves within the shadows ahead, and nami deliberately keeps her breathing even as footsteps get closer to her. the person reaches the wall to her left and pries something away— a plank, she realises, as moonlight starts spilling through the barred window and the face of her visitor is thrown into sharp relief.

the man is pale, slim to the point of being gaunt with a greasy, grimy quality about him; she presses her teeth together as he slinks forward and clasps his hands behind his back and cocks his head.

“cat-burglar nami,” he begins, beady eyes blinking. "tell us your plans."

her eyebrows go up in a flash, lips pinching in bemusement. getting right to business, are we? "we don't have any," she laughs, and chokes when a fist sinks into her gut.

she admits that she hadn’t expected that as she sputters, coughing as her lungs burn. people usually work up to it; a little bit more forceful questioning and a couple of threats against, say, anything and everything she’s ever loved, and then she’d figure they’d start punching. this man, or whoever he represents— they’re desperate.

and he just proves her right, god, men are so predictable. "what do you mean, you don't have any?" he spits, jagged nails digging in as he grabs her chin forcefully.

nami chuckles again, weak huffs that make her chest heave. her shoulders are starting to ache. “we see someone that needs help and we help them. we don't plan anything."

another swing, straight to her solar plexus. "where's your crew?"

"you don’t… interrogate people often, do you?” she wheezes, and holds her breath as his fist draws back again. the pain bites and then blooms across her cheek, blood-hot and thrumming like an infection, and she works her tongue between tooth and soft flesh, the pocket around her lower gums as she bares a grin and turns her head.

"where is your crew."

this time, when nami's laugh flutters from her mouth, blood goes with it. "here." she takes great pleasure at the fear that singes the edges of the man's face before he tries to blank it again. it’s not very effective. "they're here."

"impossible," he sneers. "we're on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere."

it’s false fucking bravado and it fills her with a sick sense of glee as she smirks at him through sweat-sticky lashes. "impossible's what we're best at, if you haven't noticed." she has no doubt that her nakama have already tracked her down. it’s a matter of time before luffy takes the roof off this place or sanji kicks the door down with a flaming leg.

the third possibility, well— this guy better hope it’s not zoro that comes for her.

she watches as the man digs into his pocket, his breathing harsh. “fine.” the brass knuckles he slips over his fingers gleam in the low light, a pretty polished bronze, and nami’s mouth goes dry. “you don’t wanna tell me? fine.”

all she knows for a while after that is pain. hell, she’d never even been beaten this badly under arlong’s thumb, and aside from the occasional swat to the wrist her mother hadn’t hit her either. this, though— it’s slam after slam of metal into her gut with a hand pinning her shoulder to the wall. her entire body shuts down for a moment when the hard edges jab into her liver, and she chokes back a scream when she feels her ribs snap seconds after she hears them break.

the air feels too thick when he finally pulls back, damp with her own breath, her body hot all over and shivery with pain. this isn’t an interrogation— this is someone taking out their frustrations, and it’s confusing because she doesn’t even know one, who this guy is and two, what they did to warrant such a violent retribution because, and she reiterates, she has no idea who the fuck this guy is. if it turns out that he’s just a nobody who got too ballsy she is going to be relieved but so, so mad.

her entire body’s starting to feel like one big bruise. the joints of her arms burn as she tries to lift herself up, to take some weight off her shoulders, but a cold chill settles in the pit of her stomach when she sees the glint of metal. something else, as if the knuckles weren’t enough— silver this time, sharp and liquid, and she is gonna throw luffy in the godsdamned ocean for taking his own sweet fucking time because where the hell are they.

her new personal annoyance breathes a huff of a laugh as he slowly drags the knife down the front of her blouse (and thank god she’d decided to wear one today), grazing over the shiny buttons until there's a soft snck and the dull sound of the very last one clattering to the floor. "still not talking?”

…okay, that's it. time to get out of here. "fuck you," she says loudly, turning her face towards the window so her voice carries even as she keeps her eyes on the leering bastard in front of her. hello? she wants to yell, the voice in her head steeped in annoyance and fringed in just the tiniest bit of anxiety. i needed backup in here ten minutes ago? ring ring? anyone there?

she can see the looks on her crewmates’ faces. luffy would have that big sheepish grin on, one hand pressed to the top of his hat on his head as she reams him out for their tardiness before he blames it on zoro, the swordsman looking off to the side with a hand on his hilts, in a stubborn sulk.

the knife digs into her cheekbone, grimy fingers squishing her face, and nami grins as she chokes out the first name that comes to mind, under her breath and half-mouthed. "zoro."

he's here, she's sure. her crew is already here and he’ll hear her, he always does. she can feel it in her bones, in the blood that's dripping from her chin, because zoro's never let any of them down. he’s one of the first people who had understood the weight of guilt and unwanted responsibility crushed onto her shoulders, even through her betrayal, and he’d fought for her freedom without hesitation. he won't let anything happen to her. luffy wouldn't, sanji wouldn't, usopp wouldn't— they're gonna get her out of here and then she’s gonna see these bastards burned to the fucking ground.

nami’s a pretty thing, she knows. all short skirts and slender hands and freckled skin but she packs a punch, and she can take one too. she’s held out this long and she can do longer if need be.

she isn’t afraid to ask for help anymore, either— not since then, that faraway time when she’d pushed metal through the only physical evidence of her ties to the man who she’d nursed so much hatred for, hatred that she’d turned into strength.

the man pushes her face away and the tip of the knife nicks across her skin, a shallow slice down to the right side of her upper lip and then the knife is moving, a bright flash of silver, and her voice breaks when it stabs right into her shoulder.

it fucking burns. the tip wedges between the joint, slowly snapping cartilage as the man twists it with a cackle, and she seethes through her teeth. luffy had taught her that strength was asking for help. that admitting that you need someone to save you, if only in that moment, is the bravest thing anyone could do. zoro had taught her to wield it like a weapon, to withstand the strongest of the storms of her own creation—

and she grins, now, as the blade cuts through her flesh and blood drips into her mouth, eyes wild. “zoro!”

the knife drives deeper into her shoulder, white-hot. "cry all you want. they won't get here in time."

that pain is a reminder that she is alive.

her core tenses as she kicks off the wall and drives her boot into the man's gut, heel slamming into his spleen— it winds him enough that he doubles over gasping and nami smiles painfully wide, a wild, vindictive thing. "fuck. you."

“you’re gonna regret that, bitch,” he hisses, and he’s shaking, trembling as he drags himself upright and nami knows that by the gods, he’s only human and she’ll kick him again. she’ll kick him as many times as it takes. sanji would be so proud.

she huffs a laugh, mean and low and raw as she presses her cheek against her bicep and lets her head tip down. she’ll rest, just for a little while before she gets back to fighting and clawing like a bat out of hell. something flickers at the edges of her vision, warm orange bleeding into the peripheral even through her lowered lashes and a soft, whispering crackle that carries on the breeze, smelling of ash— fire. a resounding boom shakes the walls and the man’s head snaps to the window, to say something or maybe to yell—

nami doesn’t get the chance to find out before a blade cleaves him clean in two.

the vertical halves of his body stay frozen for a split second before they slide apart and crumple into a mess of pink and ivory, slick red on the rough-hewn floor. wado gleams wickedly in the moonlight as zoro flicks the gore off her blade, shining silver streaked with the same blood that drips from the swordsman’s face.

“witch,” he grits out, eyes blazing beneath his bandana as he pushes a seething breath through his teeth, and there’s clear worry in the way he uses the side of his hand to push her sweaty bangs off her face and tilt her head up. it reminds her of her mother checking her forehead for fever, and she almost laughs. “you good?”

nami’s eyes burn as she stares at him tiredly. “no. i’m not fucking good,” she deadpans. “get me down.”

sparks shower down above her head as zoro cuts through the chain stringing her up, and her stomach swoops when she drops before an arm catches her around the waist. she cries out as it hits her ribs directly and zoro swears, his sword clattering— and then nami's world tilts as she's leaned carefully against the wall and zoro's face swims into view.

"hands out."

"what took so long?" she snaps weakly, trying to catch her breath. her hair bunches against the wet, grimy stone, and now that there's nothing to worry about she almost gags.

"they weren't completely stupid. took a while to find you," zoro grits, voice tight, before his face softens. "now put your hands out."

it's a struggle to lift them but she manages, albeit with her arms lopsided. the iron shackles around her wrists and rusted and heavy, tight enough that the skin of her wrists is itching, and her arms ache something fierce as zoro slices through the short chain connecting them and then eases his blade through the scarce gap between metal and skin to pop them open one by one.

she hears a cannon boom again. franky, probably— the walls shake and all of a sudden she’s aware of the raw relief coursing through her system, so much that it hurts, like blood rushing back to a limb. she’s lightheaded with it. or perhaps that’s… something else, she ponders faintly, as a knee buckles underneath her and zoro hauls her up before she can fall.

"just hang on, witch, i've got you,” she hears him murmur, squinting at him in the orange light as she’s lifted horizontal, an arm below her back and one beneath her knees.

her own arm flops uselessly, blood soaking her sleeve and collecting in the crease of her elbow. nami reaches up to find purchase and digs her manicured nails into the swordsman’s trapezium. "zoro."

a pause in movement as he looks down. "hm?"

she pulls herself up enough (or pulls him down enough, she can’t tell) to look him in the eye and says, low and dangerous, "i can't do it myself right now, so— give them hell, but don’t kill them. make an example of them. make them a warning.” the last word is spoken quiet enough that she can barely hear it herself, and zoro’s eyes are deadly serious. “death’s a privilege i don’t want them having just yet."

she can tell that the idea doesn't sit well with him; he bristles like an angry cat and his nostrils flare, but she knows he understands when he jerks a nod at her all the same as they step through the busted door and past piles of bodies, all the way out until they’re graced by the last smears of yolk-orange sun across the sky.

somewhere, luffy laughs.

nami shifts and as far as she can see, her crew is going fucking ham. she watches usopp shoot a man point-blank in the face with something that explodes in a shower of red dust and sends him twitching to the ground. another guy goes flying as jinbei quite literally throws him, and a whole row of goons get slammed into a crumbling wall as her captain swings his arm.

“cook!” zoro roars over her head, and it’s barely a second before sanji’s cutting a path towards them, kicking enemies out of the way left, right and centre before he stops right in front of nami.

his mouth parts in a silent question even as his eyes grow stormy blue with anger, face darkening when his gaze locks with zoro’s, and neither of them need to say anything. sanji just nods, solemn, before zoro carefully hands her off and makes sure she’s settled. wado sings as he pulls her out of her scabbard, and he’s relatively out of sight with a spray of coppery red.

nami swallows, suddenly very aware of her dry throat as her temple thumps down on his shoulder, and she gets the sudden ridiculous urge to apologise for her half-dried blood dirtying his suit.

“none of that,” he hushes, and fuck, she must be more out of it than she realised if she’s speaking out loud. sanji chuckles tightly. “you're alright, my dear. we've got you now."

she cranes her neck slightly to check her immediate field of vision, counting off mentally. "where’s everyone else?"

"taking care of things." an elegant hand appears and curls around her broken ribs, making sure they don't jostle as robin walks calmly into view. her beautiful face is serene. “they hurt one of ours. nobody except our crew is walking out of this place.”

nami blinks at her, limbs leaden, eyes narrowing with an irritated sigh as she cradles her injured shoulder against her body. “somebody better get my fucking clima-tact.”

she passes out.

*

the world is a soft blur when nami wakes, like she’s seeing things through dandelion fluff. or pain meds. probably pain meds. she knows she’s in chopper’s infirmary; the smell of antiseptic is painfully sterile, and she is glad of it. she vaguely remembers being carried in, sanji’s voice pitched low, someone sponging the blood from her skin as chopper’s hooves carefully prodded her torso.

the mattress dimples under her fingers and she jerks a little at the sound of slippers pattering towards her, cutting off abruptly with a yelp and a few hissed words. luffy’s hat is lopsided, gleaming in the afternoon sun.

she slips back into unconsciousness with a smile on her face.

*

the next time she comes too, she’s still in the infirmary. she doesn’t open her eyes just yet— soft breathing fills her ears, slightly raspy, a soothing rumble like the earth itself is shifting. she knows it’s zoro. it couldn’t be anyone else.

sure enough, the swordsman is asleep next to her pallet, squished into a chair that’s slightly too small with his arms crossed and his chin dipped to his chest.

nami coughs loudly, immediately regretting it as her chest and shoulder flares with pain, and then deciding that it’s worth it when zoro nearly tumbles out of his seat.

they stare at each other for a while. nami raises an eyebrow after three seconds of zoro being wide-eyed and open-mouthed. “how long was i out?”

the swordsman recovers himself with a swallow and a hand scrubbed through his hair. “not long. it’s the second morning after.”

she hums. “who were they?”

“a bunch of idiots who got lucky. we just jumped in and beat the shit outta them like usual.”

a muscle twitches in her forehead because god, they really were just idiots with balls too big for their pants. “and where are they?”

“marooned on that island, s’far as anyone’s concerned. luffy and franky turned their ship to splinters.” the grin that tugs at the corner of his mouth is a feral, satisfied thing. “ain’t no way they’re going anywhere anyway, even if they still had a boat. probably can’t even get their sorry asses off the sand. we didn’t kill them—” he says before she can get a word in edgewise, and nami closes her mouth, “but they’re closer to death than life, that’s for damn sure.”

a second’s pause, before she deems the answer satisfactory. “the others?”

“resting. or on watch.”

and it sounds to her for once like there’s nobody rootling around in the kitchens. “awfully quiet, no?”

zoro huffs a laugh, knowing what she means immediately. “the cook told luff to keep it down.”

both her brows go up at that. their captain is not one usually inclined to keep it down. “surprised he listened.”

“he does what he wants.” zoro shrugs, like it’s the simplest thing in the world. “and he wants you to get better, so he listened.”

maybe it really is the simplest thing in the world. luffy is simultaneously layers upon layers and one thin sheet. he is so much and yet still so simple in the way that he cares. nami takes stock for the first time, vision widening to encompass the rest of the room. it’s early morning, early enough that the top of the sky is still dyed dark, pale blue and pink streaking the rest. her body aches all over, concentrated in her shoulder and ribs, bandages looped in layers beneath the soft, loose shirt that she’s pretty sure is sanji’s. there are dark circles smudged under zoro’s eyes and his hair is loose. her clima-tact sits on the table nearby, as does—

luffy’s hat glows in the early dawn, individual strands lighting up like spun gold. it’s old and battered and worn thin. it makes nami’s heart feel warm.

“sorry."

she blinks, turning back to zoro to find him with his head bowed, hands clenched tightly in his lap. “…hey."

"i'm sorry," he says again, taking a deep breath that shifts his massive shoulders as he sits back. "we should've gotten there sooner. they shouldn't have been able to get to you at all—"

"hey." nami pushes a palm against the mattress to sit up before the pain makes her decide against it, grimacing. "don't be stupid. you got there before anything happened."

zoro's eyes are blazing when he finally looks up. "that's bullshit. the fact that they got you at all is—” he bites off his words, chest rising with a measured inhale that she suspects doesn’t help much. “and something happened, witch. a lot happened. you're bruised half to hell. they broke your ribs. your shoulder—"

"will be fine," she stresses, rolling onto her uninjured side to face him.

“your face.”

“superficial.” nami reaches up to press her fingers over the bandage on her cheek, feeling the silhouette of stitches beneath. unbothered by the way zoro’s seething. “our doctor’s one of the best. at worse, now luffy and i match.”

“you’re missing the point,” zoro grits, fists and teeth clenched so hard they both creak. “this wasn’t supposed to happen. nothing like this. not with me around.”

she knows her physical injuries aren’t all he’s talking about. knows he’d noticed the missing button on her shirt. knows that it’s guilt that’s eating him up inside, staining his undereyes the same purple as her bruises and putting that haunted look on his face.

nami sighs. zoro's a dumbass on a good day and he's got the emotional awareness of a brick wall, but of course he has to get this of all things.

she says it sarcastically in her head, but the thought makes her want to curl up and cry. the way he’s staring at her, wide-eyed and waiting for her judgement, makes something in her ache so fondly that she sniffs before she looks down.

he looks his age, for once. not a child anymore but also barely a man. too young to have so much weight on his shoulders, but aren’t they all? the words would be easy to say. it’s not your fault. don’t beat yourself up over it.

but mercy towards himself a language in which zoro is still not yet fluent, so for now she’ll defer to a more familiar tongue. "i'm fine. promise,” she mutters, looking down like she doesn’t mean it with everything she has. like she wouldn’t say anything to make him feel just a little better. “but you keep up with this attitude and i'll add to you debt."

he sputters, weak but still incredulous. "i just saved you, you witch."

"so?" she swallows her heart as she arches a brow. "you didn't do it fast enough. what's your point?"

"you're a tyrant," he breathes, rolling his eyes and huffing a loud breath as he looks away.

nami smirks. "a tyrant who budgets for your liquor with our beri, might i remind you. now go get your cook to make me a snack."

"he's not my cook!" zoro hisses, half in shock, getting up on reflex like a startled animal to yank the door open and storm out.

nami can’t help it— she laughs as tears spill hot down her cheeks, and she swipes them away so her bandage stays dry. it feels so good to be able to banter like this again. she hears her crew now, their voices rising and falling as zoro breaks the news, the cheers going up against the still morning air; it warms her through like fire on a brisk winter’s day. the gauze wound around her torso restricts her movement, but nami eases herself back down into the pillows with a sigh and let the noise of her nakama wash over her.

it soothes the ache. they always do.

(zoro returns within ten minutes with a slice of tangerine cheesecake and a mug of rich, creamy chocolate. sanji's drawn a spiky, frowning mossball on the top with milk foam, and she giggles when she looks up and zoro's making the exact same expression.)

(later, before the sun is even properly up in the sky, her crew curls around her in the tiny room she’s temporarily calling her own. they sit on every available surface and take up every available space, in the infirmary, in her heart; luffy’s cross-legged at the foot of the bed, beaming at her with a mouth full of chocolate biscuit. robin’s hands lift her hair off the nape of her neck. franky’s knitting some sort of sweater with yarn that’s coincidentally her favourite colour, and jinbei’s voice is deep and calming as he chats quietly with brook.

zoro stands, a silent sentinel by the door, arms crossed and brow lowered, and when she catches his eye his face softens.

“you gonna stand there all day?” she asks, brow arching in expectation, and she scoots over to make space for him to squeeze in next to sanji by her hip. their lack of squabbling does not escape her notice, but she’s not about to look a gift horse in the mouth— she’ll enjoy her peace and save it for another day.

and there will be another day. she’s planning on sailing with this crew for a long, long time.)

(even later, after everybody else has filed out of the room, zoro remains by her hip. his face is shadowed and unreadable.

“they should have died for what they did to you,” he says, low and soft. not tightly, no, not when she’d already told him it wasn’t what she wanted— not a protest. just a statement.

“you already bisected the one who did it first-hand,” she hums with her thumb shoved halfway through the middle of a tangerine, oil misting into the air, pith gathered beneath her nails as she pries it apart. “isn’t that enough?”

zoro doesn’t look up as he shakes his head, hands clasped in his lap, and nami feels something in her chest soften because zoro, for every good thing he is, has never been one to address how much he cares, and this— this allowance, however indirect, for her— it means a lot. it means everything.

his head snaps up with a frown as the piece of rind she throws smacks him square between the brows, staring down at the slice of fruit she offers him next like it’s something alien.

he shoves it in his mouth anyway, and she bites back a laugh.

they don’t say much more. they don’t need to.)

#well. this wasn’t as zoro-centric as it was supposed to be #more a zoro nami dynamic study. with a sprinkle of romance dawn trio #whatever it’s still delicious DINNER IS SERVED *rings bell to summon yall* #one piece #cat burglar nami #one piece nami #roronoa zoro #one piece zoro #strawhat pirates #romance dawn trio #zosan #because there’s always zosan… #also i find it hilarious how nami’s just kind of pissed off. woman’s barely stressed bcs she knows she’ll be fine she’s just MAD #ino writes

[kieran-granola]

Material Boy

(This one is available on AO3)

When he’s not busy being a vigilante, Tim likes to think that he’s a pretty simple guy. He has normal, civilian friends. He's awkward when he talks to people he wants to bang. He likes skateboarding and playing Warlocks & Warriors. He dropped out of high school.

He also, like many kids of his generation, grew up collecting superhero merchandise and memorabilia.

And yes, maybe he never got out of the habit of collecting super-trinkets even after joining the vigilante game — a fact he keeps between himself and God, he can only imagine how much shit Steph and the others would give him if they knew — but it's not like he steals stuff from the heroes he knows. He just... buys things. A lot of things.

Which brings him to his current problem: the amount of merchandise created depends a lot on a hero's popularity. This means that Superman has insane amounts of merch. Wonder Woman and Batman too, to a lesser extent. In Gotham, Robin does pretty well for kids' stuff, and Nightwing has inspired more than one, uh, adult line of toys.

…But Red Hood? As tacky as brands can get with their products, they know better than to create merch of mass murdering rogues and villains, and unfortunately people aren't sure whether Red Hood qualifies a good guy. This means that Tim's haul is Very Poor when it comes to Hood. Which is an issue on account of Tim's massive crush on Jason.

How is a man supposed to pine in dignity when he can't even find a decent body pillow to warm his lonely bed? How?!

Tim obviously has to fix this problem. He has to rehabilitate Red Hood and ensure a steady supply of bling for his display cases. And shelves. And furniture. And possibly wardrobe, he's not picky.

He has to.

Which is why he ends up raving about Red Hood, his crime-fighting exploits, and his charity work on social media. He uses all of his covers' accounts and even creates a few more, enthusing people and posting praise until, finally, his amateur PR campaign snowballs.

He knows his job is done when his hashtags start trending outside of the Gotham metro area, and the first Red Hood plushie comes out of Build-A-Bear.

___________________________

Jason is bemused when he first gets wind of his rising popularity. Sure, it's nice to be appreciated and the genuine testimonials from Gothamites warm the cockles of his dead, dead heart, but where did the hype come from? And why are people trying to ask him for autographs? He's a crime lord! He's dangerous and scary, and people should definitely not feel comfortable enough to ask him for selfies!

…Oh fuck, is that it? Is someone trying to sabotage his reputation?

Disturbed, Jason reaches out to Oracle for some help with finding the person behind this heinous plan. He's not entirely sure why Babs laughs for five minutes straight after hearing his question, but she eventually tells him that the original accounts extolling his virtues belong to Red Robin's covers.

Shrugging to himself, he suits up and heads to Tim's nest. He busts in, ready to deliver the wrath of the Hood on Tim for making him look like a hero when he's a Very Mean, Very Dangerous Badass… only to find Tim eating Froot Loops out of some violently lime liquid, while wearing what looks like chibi Red Hood pajamas, complete with little cat ears over the stylized helmet.

Suffice to say, that display takes the wind out of Jason's sails. He holsters his weapons back and takes off his helmet so Tim can properly appreciate how appalled he is before speaking.

"Okay, what the fuck, Timbo?"

Tim blinks. "You wanna be a bit more specific there?"

"I wouldn't even know where to start. Just. What the fuck."

"Well, I'm having dinner?" Tim tries, shoving a spoonful of cereal in his mouth.

"Froot Loops in, what is that, cucumber juice? That's dinner?" Jason stares harder.

Tim swallows his spoonful thickly. "It's Mountain Dew, actually."

"Okay but that's worse. You get how that's worse, right?"

"Did you seriously come here to talk about my meal plans?"

"I came here to ask why you decided to ruin my street cred, and to kick your ass—" Jason winces as Tim eats another mouthful, "—but apparently you're doing a great job at hurting yourself on your own."

Tim gives him a blank look. "I ruined your street cred? How?"

"You told people I'm a hero," Jason says accusingly.

"Ah, I see what the problem is. Look, Jason, this might come as a shock to you and I understand if you need to take a minute to process this very new piece of information but… you are a hero, dumbass."

Jason seriously considers throwing his helmet at Tim but, with the state Tim is in, he's pretty sure it would feel like pouring water on a drowning man.

"I'm not the kind of hero they make jammies of! I mean, what the fuck are you even wearing?"

Tim pulls on his shirt to show off the design, perking up. "These? They're Red Catting Hood limited edition PJs. They're cute, right?"

You're cute, Jason mutters under his breath, before taking a few menacing steps forward. "They're ridiculous. I'm not a cat. And I'm definitely not cute."

"We're going to have to agree to disagree there."

Jason stares at him. "You think I'm cute?"

"No, I think you're a cat," Tim deadpans, still eating his disgusting mixture.

"I… I tried to kill you, remember?!"

"Yeah, you did. And now I have little cartoon kitties of you on my jim-jams. Life's full of curveballs, isn't it?"

Jason is pretty sure he's having a minor breakdown in Tim's kitchen. He opens and closes his mouth silently several times, confusion robbing him of his words. Tim watches him for a couple of minutes, then he stands up and shuffles closer to pat him on the back.

Jason lets out a very unmanly squeak of horror when he spots matching Red Catting Hood slippers on Tim's feet.

Tim shushes him. "Hey, it's okay, dude. I understand that you don't know how to deal with people expressing positive emotions in your direction after getting the Bruce special growing up, but it's gonna be fine. Just breathe. You'll get used to it."

Jason stares at Tim with wide eyes. Then he gently takes him by the shoulders.

"Timmers. Tim. You crazy little birdie. Telling me I'm cute, talking about emotions... Are you okay? Is this a cry for help? Talk to me."

"You ask me that now?" Tim gives him a judgmental look. "I can't believe that's where you draw the line. I mean, where's your 'Be my Robin' enthusiasm?"

"It drowned in your bowl of Mountain Dew next to the Froot Loops. No, but seriously. If I'm your last resort, then you can tell me what's wrong. No need for tacky PJs, I'll listen."

Tim's eyes narrow. "Okay, then listen to this. First of all, my PJs aren't tacky. Second, I like you, dumbass, and yeah, I think you're cute. And third, I hyped you up on social media because I wanted Red Hood merch for my collection."

Jason takes a second to let that confession wash over him. He regrets removing his helmet. He's blushing, he knows he's blushing. In fact he must have been a redhead in another life, because he must be reminiscent of a tomato at this point, and oh no. He's a grown-ass man, why is he blushing like a nerd for this incredibly sleep-deprived, adorable maniac?

"You have a collection?" he squeaks.

"Uh, yeah. I started it when I was 4." Tim raises his eyebrows. "But nevermind that, are you seriously going to leave me hanging? I just told you I like you, man."

"I don't know what to say," Jason chokes out. "This... You're—I'm not good for you."

"Sorry but the entire internet would disagree. You're a hero, remember? And I can take care of myself, thank you very much. I don't need to be patronized."

Jason gestures at Tim's dinner. "That is demonstrably false."

Tim pouts. "Well. If you were my boyfriend, you could make sure I eat properly."

"Is that what you want? To be my b—" Jason's voice breaks. He swallows before trying again. "To be my boyfriend?"

"I mean, yeah?" Tim shrugs. "That's not why I hyped you up, I'm not kidding about the merch thing. But. Yeah. That would be… Good. Nice."

"Oh."

"Is that something you'd like too?"

Jason licks his lips. "Yeah, I—I think so. Yeah. There's just one thing though..."

Hope sparkles in Tim's eyes. "What?"

"It's just... I can't let people think you like me more than I like you."

"What does that mean?"

"It means—" Jason tugs on the fabric of Tim's PJs, "—that for every Red Hood item you own, you have to get me some matching Red Robin merch."

Tim grins a wide, bright, genuine smile that almost offsets the deep purple bruising under his tired eyes. "It's a deal."

___________________________

(They show up to the Manor together two months later to announce their relationship. They walk in hand-in-hand, Jason wearing a Red Robin hoodie, Tim in a Red Hood henley. Damian doesn't even have to pretend to gag at the sight.)

#jaytim #jason todd #tim drake #if you're wondering why Tim didn't just commission some artist for Red Hood merch #well that's because he can't flex online about owning limited editions if there's no market other than him #kieran writes

[eiirisworkshop]

The Measure of a Tit

A Sailor Moon ficlet Available to read on Ao3 here.

~

It was nice to get all the senshi together for a vacation—at least, once the usual “we can't go anywhere without having to save the world” had been dealt with. That whole mess was days ago now, though, and they were enjoying the chance to unwind a little. This evening, Chibiusa and Hoturo and the cats had passed out a while ago, all cuddled up in a heap on a bed in one of their hotel rooms, and the rest had wound up sprawled on in a loose circle across the sofa and floor in the font room of Michiru and Haruka's suite, eating increasingly cold pizza, bickering and giggling their way through a wandering array of subjects.

“It wasn't my fault!” Usagi insisted while Rei hummed doubtfully.

“Here's the thing, here's the thing though,” Makoto said, leaning forward on one elbow and pointing at Haruka. “I swear—and there is no way to say this that isn't a little weird but—I swear you have different amounts of tit at different times.”

For an impressive fraction of a second, both Haruka and Michiru kept their expressions schooled, then they caught each other's gaze and burst out laughing. Haruka slid sideways down the TV stand she was leaning against to rest her forehead on Michiru's shoulder while she collected herself enough to answer.

“I do though!” Haruka said, sitting up and tossing a hand in the air. “Okay, look. I'm not wearing anything under this.” She stood, deftly undoing one more button on her shirt as she did to show a significant amount of sideboob.

“Oh jeez,” Usagi mumbled, half shielding her eyes with her fingers.

Haruka continued over Usagi, “So this is my tits in their natural state, but—”

She halfway hopped over Ami to retreat into the next room. To the sound of a zipper and a fair amount of rustling, the other senshi exchanged bemused looks while Michiru grinned knowingly. Then Haruka returned, doing up her buttons to show only a tasteful amount of cleavage and looking markedly bustier. “This is me in a padded bra.”

“You did not pack any,” Michiru half-accused.

“No, of course, not—this is yours,” Haruka dismissed breezily. “And it's a good thing I'm only planning on wearing it for a minute; the band is too tight. But the point is,” she preened a little, turning side to side, and grabbed at her own chest, “extra volume, extra bounce. But!”

She ducked to the next room again, reaching up the back of her shirt to unhook the bra before she was even through the door. This time, when she returned, it was with her buttons done most of the way up and her chest looking distinctly flat. “I never said I was a boy,” she said with a bit of a shrug, dropping easily into a more masculine speech pattern. “Then again, I didn't have to.”

Minako took a breath and made several false starts at forming a question, then settled on, “How?”

“It's called a chest binder,” Michiru answered, draping an arm around her partner's shoulders as Haruka sat back down.

“So, like a sports bra, but more?” Makoto ventured.

“Pretty much, yeah,” Haruka said. “Though, not actually recommend for wearing during exercise.”

“Most of the bras you own are sports bras, though,” Michiru noted.

“Yeah. Bunch of sports bras, couple binders, that green one I should really just let die because the elastic has given up, the nice one, and that blue one you got me with the matching shorts, which is padded to hell and back.”

Michiru giggled, Usagi hid in her hands, Makoto nodded impressedly, Ami looked thoughtful, and Minako and Rei both pretended they weren't blushing.

“Anyway,” Haruka said, undoing a couple buttons to show just a little of what looked like a tanktop underneath the shirt, “the moral of the story is, yes, you are not imagining things, how much tit I have varies wildly depending on what I'm wearing. I don't usually bother with a binder under a blazer, because the jacket is structured enough that a sports bra is plenty, but I think the day we met at the arcade may have been one of the few times I did wear a binder with my uniform, so Usagi—it really wasn't your fault.”

“Thank you! Eep!” Usagi scrambled to catch the pizza box she had knocked off the table with her gesture of vindication.

“I was under the impression,” Ami began softly, “that binders were usually worn by transgender men and drag artists.”

“Most often, sure,” Haruka agreed, “but really they're for anybody who wants their tits out of the way for a while. And,” Haruka smirked, continuing in a more feminine register, “I never said I was a girl, did I?”

Usagi frowned around a bite of pizza from the rescued pizza box. “I thought you were a lesbian?”

Haruka laughed. “That one I definitely am!”

#eiiri made this #fanfiction #sailor moon #haruka x michiru #haruka tenoh

[foxingpeculiar]

Alright, per Tumblr’s decision, I started Lies of P.

It’s interesting. I had to get used to the combat, which is a little chunkier than Bloodborne, at least at first. And it’s the first Soulslike I’ve played with the Xbox controller, so that took a little adjustment as well. But, once it stopped throwing tutorial UI windows at me in the middle of combat, I started getting the hang of it.

I played the demo, so the Parade Master wasn’t too challenging since I knew what I was in for. I think I got him in 3. The Mad Donkey took 2 tries, but once I figured out how easily he can be backstabbed, it was over. The crawling electric police fella I got in one with the help of a specter. Then I got to King’s Flame Fuoco or whatever and had to stop for a while.

THIS fucking guy. Like holy shit, what a spike/skill check that is. I pissed through my Star Fragments like it was nothing, so now it’s just me and him. The first phase is manageable. I can mostly read his move set and while there’s a couple that give me trouble—I get caught in the backspin in the middle of one of his 3-part combos a lot and his Fury move hammer slam is a matter of luck based on my position when he starts the animation—but it’s manageable. That fucking second phase though. The ass fire gigantic AOE thing is bad enough, but then stacking the range attacks on that is just batshit. And it becomes a matter of endurance, cos he’s tanky as fuck. I can see the path to victory, I just haven’t been able to execute yet. But ima get ‘im.

The regular enemies aren’t bad—some of the heavies can be a little troublesome, especially that robot miniboss in the factory, but nothing I can’t handle. I need to work more guarding into my playstyle though—I’m relying mostly on dodging at this point, and it’s doing me well so far, but I have a feeling it’s not gonna work for everything.

I’ve been rocking mostly the balance weapon, sometimes bringing out the heavy sword. And boosting Vitality, Vigor, and Motility mostly. Got a couple of cool looking fire weapons in the factory, and after a couple of upgrades, the fire axe is doing me pretty well so I’m gonna rock that for a bit and see how it goes.

The level design is mostly pretty good—it feels like a labyrinth while still guiding you forward in a pretty linear direction, with a couple of interesting diversions. I helped the weeping woman (by lying to her about her baby) and met the Riddler fellow, at least via the telephone, and am curious what other things like that the game is going to throw at me.

Story-wise I’m bemused but intrigued. It sounds like the Alchemists did something to the Ergo that made the puppets go all Westworld on everybody, but I don’t have a full enough picture of what’s going down in Krat yet. That Fox/Cat stalker duo was pretty cool though, looking forward to running into them again.

Further updates as events warrant.

#personal #video games #lies of p #gameblogging

[holytrohmanempire]

Oh! Oh! I volunteer! What's your all time favorite vampire media and do you have links?

Thank you anon I'm so delighted you took the bait!

It is with deep bemusement and slight dismay that I inform you and the world at large that the best vampire story I have ever read is called "temperance" and reader, "temperance" is an NSYNC fanfiction.

Yeah you read that right this is a fanfiction about the men in the boyband nsync (and the backstreet boys, and elvis' manager? for some reason?????) and it's 64,000 words long with two short sequels and listen. I don't want this to be the best piece of vampire media ever any more than you do. But my god, it is. The vampire rules are well thought out. The world is built richly but without Dune-style infodumps - you just learn to understand what the universe is like so organically as the story progresses. The romance is sweet, the debate regarding the souls of vampires is explored thoughtfully. The prose is beautiful and it's easy to sink your teeth into. It's equal parts beautiful and horrifying, the way vampire media should be, but the beauty is of a southern gothic cottagecore nature and the horror is feral and toothsome, as opposed to the genteel nature of most vampire stories. I genuinely believe you don't have to give a shit about NSYNC to enjoy it, either. Cannot sing its praises enough - link to the first story is here: http://www.nopseud.org/nsa/fic/temperance.html

My second fave piece of vampire media is the Carmilla webseries. Picture it: the year is 2014 and you have come to terms with being a bit of a lesbian and someone takes The sapphic vampire story of all time and turns it into a college au romcom (ft some gorgeous leads, by the way.) Laura only drinks from a tardis mug. Carmilla eats cereal with blood in it. Black cat/golden retriever dynamics. It made my cry. The theme song ("Love Will Have Its Sacrifices") is baller and I've put it on every playlist for THWTH I've ever made. I have, to be fair, only finished season one, but god, I fucking love Carmilla: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uPd3g5wi1A

My third fave piece of vampire media is a little more traditional and it is the book "The Coldest Girl in Coldtown" by Holly Black. Holly Black as in author of grimdark fae novels for teenagers, yes. "The Coldest Girl in Coldtown" is excellent and on my list because it is, in spite of being written for teens, probably the sexiest piece of vampire fiction I have ever read. Gavriel is such a hot lead and we finally get an author unafraid to make the blood drinking sexy as well as gory and alarming. 10/10 would recommend this book to literally anyone, and it has shockingly good trans rep for being released in like 2013: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-coldest-girl-in-coldtown-holly-black/110465?ean=9780316213097

Lastly, I think the Fright Night remake from 2011 is amazing. Like, look. I know it's not "good" as in well-written or anything, but like. It's funny, it's sexy, they play into the ridiculousness. I fully believe Fright Night walked so that Renfield could run. It's star studded for literally no reason. The CGI is terrible. The vampires are ridiculous. The soundtrack to this one is also way better than it had any right to be. It comes in fourth because it is kind of sexist and I think we should have had more characters fully soaked in blood a la Evil Dead Rise, but c'est la vie. Please please please note that I do mean the 2011 remake the one from the 80s was, like, fine, but the 2011 one was camp: https://letterboxd.com/film/fright-night-2011/

#vampire recs #i have more but these are top tier #long post #ask #fright night 2011 #carmilla #the coldest girl in coldtown #i feel like it would be chaotic to tag nsync #nsync

[onelastfic]

Mei & Loki Kids Interactions

Fenrir, the formidable giant wolf of Norse legend, prowled through Avalon's enchanted forests. Unsurprisingly, he ran into another frequent visitor of the forest, the young Avalon princess and her companion. Though his feelings for the latter were less than stellar.

"Raindrop, darling, do remind your oversized canine friend to keep his distance. I have no desire to engage in a game of chase today." Mei called out, her tone dripping with irritation as she eyed Fenrir with a mixture of distrust and disdain.

Rain chuckled, shaking her head. "Fenrir's just curious about people coming into his part of the forest, Mei Mei. He won't hurt you."

“Uh-huh…” Mei crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing. "Curiosity killed the cat, Raindrop. And in this case, I'd rather not be the cat."

Sensing Mei's unease, Fenrir gave a low growl, his eyes fixed on her. Mei responded with a haughty glare, the tension between them palpable.

"Also, Fenrir, could you please stop leaving your shedded fur all over the place? It's like walking in a wolf's den rather than a forest and all this fur is so... last millennium. Smells that old too." Mei complained, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

Fenrir merely huffed and trotted away, leaving Mei to grumble about canine nuisances under her breath. Rain watched the exchange with a bemused smile.

"You know, Mei, he's not that bad once you get to know him," Rain said, trying to ease the tension.

Mei scoffed, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "I'd rather not. I prefer my company less... furry and more refined."

Rain laughed, shaking her head. "Suit yourself. But if you ever need a giant wolf to scare off your enemies, you know where to find him. Though it helps if you bring him some meat first."

Mei rolled her eyes. "I'll keep that in mind. But for now, I'll stick to scaring off my enemies with my own skills. Thank you very much."

——

Mei said, eyeing Hel with a critical gaze. "You know, darling, a little makeup could work wonders for you. I could give you a makeover that would make you the envy of the underworld. "

Hel merely raised an eyebrow. "I'll pass. I prefer my aesthetic just as it is, thank you."

Undeterred, Mei persisted, her enthusiasm undimmed. "Come on, Hel. A touch of color here, a bit of contouring there, the perfect shade of lipstick paired with the right accessories—think of the possibilities! I could transform your look from half-dead chic to a drop dead gorgeous underworld queen."

Hel chuckled dryly. "I appreciate the offer, little one, but I'm quite comfortable with my look. Besides, I have other matters to attend to than makeup experiments."

“Your loss, darling, but a little touch-up wouldn't hurt. Imagine the statement you could make with the right ensemble.” Mei shrugged. "If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me."

Hel nodded politely, already accustomed to Rain’s friend’s flair for the dramatic and relentless pursuit of aesthetic perfection.

——

On a sunny day at Avalon's beach, Rain Butterfly lounged atop Jormungandr's giant snake head, soaking in the warmth of the sun. Mei lounged on a lavish beach chair, soaking in the sun's golden rays while idly flipping through a fashion magazine.

Dawn's urgent voice shattered the peace as he arrived, calling out to Rain, "Rain, we need to talk! You can't keep hanging out with this cold-blooded monster. It brings nothing but misery wherever it goes and is incapable of any kind of human emotions or empathy."

Rain, leaping to Jormungandr's defense, protested, "No, Dawn! Jormungandr is nice. He's just misunderstood."

"Who said I was talking about Jormungandr? I'm referring to Mei." Dawn clarified, pointing to the girl in the pink floral one piece.

Mei, unamused by Dawn's attempt at humor, scoffed. "Oh, wow, Dawn. Did you use all two of your brain cells to come up with that lame joke? And FYI, constantly comparing me to a snake is just gonna make it more justified when I strangle you."

——

Rain beamed with excitement as she watched over little baby Phebe, who sat in her lap with an unamused blank expression. Rain looked at her best friend, eager for Mei to join in the baby fun.

“Mei Mei, come on! Just give Phebe a cuddle.” Rain said.

“No.” Mei stated firmly, arms crossed and expression deadpan.

“But she's so cute! Just one little hold?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Look at her little toes! Don’t you just want to tickle these piggies?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“C’mon, don’t tell me you don’t just want to pinch her chubby cheeks or hold these wittle arms?! Tài kě'àile!”

“Non. Nay. Nein. Jué bù. I do not and I will not.” Mei remarked, unmoved by Rain's enthusiasm. “I've told you before, Raindrop. I don't do babies. Not holding her, not cuddling her, not playing with her, definitely not helping change her nasty diapers, nothing. I'll leave all the baby duties to you. I'm sure you'll make an excellent sitter.”

Dusk, with a teasing grin, chimed in, "What’s wrong, Mei? You scared that holding Phebe might awaken some dormant maternal instincts that you tried to squash long ago?"

Dawn laughed loudly. "Hah! This is Mei, you’re talking about, bro. She doesn't have a maternal bone in her body. Pretty sure she was born without that stuff."

"Pretty sure you were born without a brain, you blonde buffoon. Not all girls swoon over babies. Some of us have better things to do than have babies on the brain." Mei retorted.

“Not a big fan of kids, eh?” DJ asked, smirking that someone else seemed to share his mindset.

“Am I a fan of loud, sticky, drooling, snotty nosed little gremlins that drain ambition and wreck women’s bodies?” Mei grumbled, face scrunching up in disgust at the thought of ever having kids before glancing at Phebe. The baby stared at her intently, expression cool as ice but gaze seemed irritated, which didn’t help decrease Mei’s mistrust. “Besides, this kid seems really, really off. She rarely cries and stares at us like she knows what we’re saying. Like are we sure she isn’t some reincarnated god or something that came back as a baby?”

“If she is, probably not going to do you any favors saying stuff like that.” Dawn remarked. Not believing anything Mei was insinuating but he’d never pass up the opportunity to mess with her. “Might want to sleep with one eye open, from now on, Mei. Ain’t that right, Phebe?”

Phebe glanced at Mei, eyes narrowing. “Goo…”

—————

Loki kids belong to @thepaladincosplays

Rain and DJ belong to @laylaylamode

Dusk and Dawn belong to @kururu418

#callyieverse #tales of mewni #oc #future au #next gen #nextgen #mei #rain #dusk #dawn #dj #hel #phebe #fenrir #jormundgandr

[beetlebugdash]

Miraculous awakening thoughts and live reaction! (Major spoilers!)

- holy crap we made it to a movie

- I'm so excited

- Remember back in season 2 (I think) that a live action movie was coming

- Good times

- Anyways this

- Netflix presents tears

- No magic

- JUMPS SCARE

- we've been known thanks for explaining

- Dark butterflies and angry? Wanna see the counterpart

- LADYBUG AND CAT NOIR

- stronger than death?

- THE CLASSIC MOVIE MUSIC

- PARIS!!??!)

- classic movie intro is classic

- PHOTOGRAPHER AND NEWSPERSON

- CROSSWINDS

- the road????

- Marionette wears a watch?

- I love her dad

- UNICORNBCAKES

- 10/10 diversity

- Daddy??? Ok Chloe

- Listen to my chest???? Idk what u mean

- YOU JUST GOTTA BELIEVE!!!!

- Christina that isn't your singing voice

- CHRISTINA HAS A GOOD VOICE

- love the painter's design

- It dosent sound like her

- DOG

- THE TEA SCENE FORM THE PV

- Lotta unique background character designs

- WHERE DID U GET THE BIKE

- iconic locations beauty

- THE SKETCHBOOK!

- ALSO ANIMATION IS GORGEOUS

- other friends???

- I wanna know

- Gabriel designs, you'll soon hate him

- Polka dot dress before ladybug

- Ooo sparkles

- ITS A FLOATING SKETCHBOOK

- fireworks ooooooo

- "Here's some perfume”

- YOU SPIN ME ROUND

- NATALIE And Gabriel

- TODD VOICE YAY

- Love that persons hair

- I thought Gabriel is never in public?¿

- Chloe's voice sounds odd?

- BWAHAHAHHAHA

- oh it's Gabriel agreste sweater

- A+ to alya

- "EAT BREAD WITH BUTTER"

- FINALLY GLASSES FLARE

- MEANT TO BE?

- recorder

- GYMNASTICS AU COME TRUE

- TRANSITION TO EMILIE

- ugh she looks so pretty

- Odd

- LUKA AND JULEKA

- Rude ugh

- Oh i hate Chloe

- AHAHAHA

- At least we know school layout kinda

- Little bit of luck? Yea here allergies

- Alegies or dust WE NEED TO KNOW

- IT THE SEASON 1 FINALE ALL OVER AGAIN

- CAT BOOK

- theyre trying to make everyone fall for Adrien

- ukulele music?

- NINO YEAAAA

- oooo amusement park

- Depressing Adrien

- Natalie I love

- I HATE GABRIEL

- i smell a sad song

- LONG HAIRED GABRIEL IS REAL????

- long entry hallways

- Wow Gabriel has very pretty nails

- HE HAS A WATCH TOO?

- EMILIE LORE?

- oh she was a performer omg

- HAPPY BIRTHDAY?????

- ooooooooooo

- nooroo????

- WOAH

- master fu knows whazzup

- This movie is going really fast an lots of jumps

- Oh plagg and tikki fight????

- Marinella????

- HIT BY A CAR?

- SCREAMING EXCHANGE

- GASP

- 10/10 BREAKS

- uh crazy man bye

- MASTER FU WHAT THE

- creepy hall? Sure!

- Poor Chloe

- Sabrina is a wingman OOO

- random window opening? Sure!

- CAT

- MIRACULOUS

- failed proposal?

- oh no first akuma attack

- WOA CREEPY

- well evil spirits

- Oooo a ladybug

- ooooooo

- “Who saves a life saves the world”

- IT'S LIKE THE ORIGINAL ANIMATION

- TIKKI!

- “GIRLS CAN WEAR PANTS” YES

- can you say kwami

- Tiny genie sure

- “I WET THE BED”

- REDEMPTION FOR THE CHRISTMAS EPISODE CAUSE TIKKI ONLY HAD 1 LINE

- THE THEME SONG? ¿

- "I'll hide in a tree"

- RAPPING TIKKI?

- BWAHAHAHA

- CONTINUITY!

- Aw marinette has doubts

- "Im out of patience"

- that poor security guard

- WHERE IS QUASIMODO WHEN U NEED HIM

- "first a song now a yoyo what's next a tea set???"

- CRASH

- oh hi cat noir

- bonjour

- "Do I know u?"

- A WATERMELON

- CAT NOURS SIDEKICK LOL

- omg cat noir will always me my fav

- CAT PUNS!!?!

- oh no cat noir

- RUUUUUUNNNNNNN

- "Not on the first date!"

- Omg I love him

- "Is that a watermelon"

- CANONBALL!

- SHERO

- wet haired cat noir

- 👍

- BON APPETITEEEEEE

- little Adrien lol

- cat noir outta breath lol

- 2-0 gargoyle

- GO FETCH PUPPY

- KITTY

- MIRACULOUS POWER

- "Thank goodness marinette is at home" lol

- oH NO NOT THE TAIL

- WO

- zag news LOL

- DON'T BE BEMUSED IT'S JUST THE NEWS

- THE MUSIC AHAHGAHAHAHHA

- oh no loose akuma

- master FU

- Miraculous: tales of watermelon and insane

- coooooooool

- Hawkwho?

- THE WINK

- TOGETHER!

- failure is not your enemy, fears are

- New cat singing voice

- I like this voice (no offence Bryce)

- oh I love this song

- Bounce from the clouds

- HEARTS CLOUD

- and moon cloud

- Oh it's a swan cloud

- Transitions are horrid

- rosemary?

- SHOSHOCHEF

- stinks

- PLAGG

- ewwwww

- THE BURN

- Natalie hears PLAGG LOL

- And cat puns!

- Hey he has picture in his room!

- PTFAFS

- "she knows her stuff" *proceeds to screem*

- PUSS IN BOOTS

- mic drop marinette out

- can't get rid of it lol

- haHaHA

- poop

- ugh fear

- NATALIE HAS A HOME OTHER THAN THE AGEESTE MANSION

- nooroo ily

- “I have nothing to loose” ADRIEN??

- HAWKMOTH SONG

- BEST SONG

- BEAUTY ANIMATION

- Shakespeare hawkmoth

- SO EVIL

- IS THIS KEITH?????

- THEY HAVE KEITH SINGING BUT NOT CHRISTINE UGH

- THE MIME

- HAWKMOTH HAWKMOTH HAWKMOTH

- THE TOPHAT

- HIGH NOTE WOOO

- Butt kicking girl superhero WOO

- how did u get some of those

- stealing money????????

- BOOM

- Dr love nino

- Roses means desperate

- I LOVE HIS APRON

- oh I love marinettes dad

- Dr love more like Dr not

- why did u look at her sketches

- man duck Gabriel

- THE WHILHEM SCREEM

- oh no poor nino

- POOR SABRINA

- 0.0

- oooo chaos

- Ironically I just saw a magician today

- I think?

- LEMME RIDE THE HORSES

- anxiety ridden Marinette

- ITS THE SONG!

- eh it’s ok I guess?

- Animation still looks cool

- Tikki scare is scary

- TIKKI SPOTS ON

- TRANSFORMATION IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PUBLIC

- creepy baby balloon

- what is with ladybug and cats voices

- STRONGER TOGETHER

- boo you Chloe

- LONG YIME NO SPEAK

- THE GARBAGE

- POOR NINO

- nino confession goes out the window

- POOR CAT

- At least their adding sounds to the bell like come on it is annoying

- WHY ISNT THAT FAMILY RUNNING?

- POP

- HAWKMOTH FACE

- BYE BYE LITTLE BUTTERFLIES

- PARTNERS

- OH THE SONG

- CROSSOINT MAN

- BUBBLER!

- MIRACULOUS!

- GYMNASTICS!

- THE CARS

- ICE CREAM PATROL!!!!!

- ITS THE LOVE SONG

- whoops

- I LOVE LADYNOIR

- this is the ladynoir I’ve been missing from the show

- THE OFFICIAL ART!

- ADULTS ARE HAVING A CONVERSATION!

- glow=danger?

- broken heart

- UGH YOU FOOL

- love song love song love song love song

- “I wouldn’t get close to anyone after my mom died” “I got close to you” AAAAAAAAH

- WHERE DID THESE TEARS COME FROM?¿

- oh i love them

- NO DONT GO

- OW

- JUST AN EMPTY HEART

- PLAGG

- ADRIEN STANDING UP TO HIS DAD!

- Follow your heart AND THEIR THE SAME PERSON!

- ow

- SCREW YOU CHLOE

- aw

- She wears a tank top?

- “I dreamed of calling Paris home” uh you live in Paris?????

- Where did they get the ladybug and cat noir shots?

- IM NOT CRYING YOU ARE!

- ITS A CHILDRENS MOVIE WHY AM I CRYING

- YO HAWKMOTH

- creepy eepy

- JEREMY ZAG!

- yOOooOooo

- wow this got dark quick

- CAT NOOOOOOOO

- dude look outside

- selfie it truly is gen z

- GO PLAGG

- LADYBUG NO

- FINALLY

- no don’t do this now

- stronger together????

- oh no

- Another fall for the Eiffel Tower yet this feels different

- CAT

- LADYBUG GO SAVE HIM

- oh no oh no oh no

- OH NO

- THE MIRACULOUS

- OH NO

- YEAAAAAA CAT

- ow

- flashback

- OH NO HIS MASK

- MARICHAT FOR DA WIN

- FINALLY

- O MY GOD

- MY LITTLE BOY

- FLASHBACK

- LITTLE ADRIEN

- THE MIRACULOUS BOOK

- love over death

- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- Marinette watching like 🧍‍♀️

- oooooo pretty music

- master fu where did u come from

- ITS THE CREEPY GUY!

- LADYBUG LADYBUG (and cat noir maybe)

- ok that’s different

- ITS LIKE THE FANTASMIC SCENE

- aaaawwww it’s nearly over

- THE BALL

- VOLKSWAGEN

- Sabrina’s just like “meh”

- REVEAL?

- SNOW HEART IN TREE

- YEAAAA

- IS HE CRYING

- HES SO HAPPY

- MUSIC KNOWS HOW BIG IT IS

- KISS KISS

- THEY DID THAT FOR THE FANS

- post credit sequal?

- SEQUAL??????

- AND THE PRE MOVIE SCENES

- Overall: harsh transitions, hate ladybugs voice, and a bit rushed, and I despised the ending was anticlimactic with ladybug, but overall for a miraculous movie was alright it has amazing animation

- They somehow made it cater for both the old and longtime fans and young and newbie fans good job (for the most part)

- I don’t have a rating since it’s a stand alone movie so I’m just gonna go cry in the corner until season 6 or more ladynoir

#caps tw #wow this is a long post lol #But enjoy anyways #beetlesmemes #miraculous spoilers #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #miraculous awakening #miraculous fandom #miraculous chat noir #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #ml spoilers #miraculous awakening spoilers #ml

[yanban-san]

GENUINELY LOVE THE MENTAL IMAGE OF DARLING GOING INTO THE TUNNELS, PRACTICALLY RIPPING OFF THEIR UNIFORM (like that one meme of the dude ripping off his pants, you know the one) AND BEING LIKE "SOMEBODY BUTPREFERABLYABIGSCARYMONSTER(S?) COME FUCK THISSSSS-" CICADA STYLE HRHJREKMSGD-- hopefully emmets tucked all the joltiks to bed or some shit before they bust in koolaid man style to lovingly fuck darlings brains out but Yknow. something something closing the door so the hypothetical cat can't get in and interrupt adjacent or however it goes, because the universe cock blocking them despite/possibly IN SPITE of all their in general powers is really funny, if only for The Bit™ - feather anon

Alternate to Ingo just holding back his brother the last time-

You just kept going on and on and on about how much you (didn't) want to be fucked silly by some hot monsters in the Subway-

“Man, it sure would suck if some beautiful, handsome, monstrous creature emerged from the darkness and just decided to ravish poor little me- I’m all alone down here, no one’s looking for me, and I’m so weak I’d never be able to defend myself! Man, that would really suck, wouldn’t it?”

Yea, you thought- It would suck almost as much as I wanna suck some monster di-

And all of a sudden you had the wind knocked out of you- as you were suddenly engulfed in a flurry of brilliant. White. Feathers.

It was so soft- Too soft, Impossibly soft, you found yourself thinking- And two arms pinned you down and you felt more... things caressing the edges of your skin, working their way under your shirt and belt- what felt like hands and- claws and silky, silky fur and feathers-

“Are you sure that would be so bad?” It asked you, the voice sounded whiny- Like you’d hurt it’s feelings somehow-

You coughed, your eyes gradually coming back into focus- Holy Fuck. A Monster! A real, actual monster! And a really pretty one at that- It looked so strangely angelic, so oddly divine- And it wore a pretty white mask over it’s face, with several eye-slots it looked like- When it spoke, the mouth moved- wearing the most eager smile you ever saw. That’s weird, you thought- It almost reminded you of Station Master Emmet-

And suddenly, out of seemingly nowhere- A fuckton of Joltiks descended.

It was dad! Their Divine Protector, God-Guardian of the Spiders! Guy with the batteries! Fluffy! The big fluffy bird man they loved! He was here! They needed to pay their respects and show him how much they appreciate him!

And Emmet can’t stop the poor little things! They just keep coming and they don’t stop coming, and he doesn’t want to hurt them! They’re his beloved pokemon! They trust and adore him! But got damn he wants to fuck you-

You think perhaps the Joltiks are trying to defend you? But no- they swarm you as well! Joltiks are everywhere. You smell like the bird guy! The bird guy seems to like you! The Joltiks must show you that they love you as well!

You can’t help but giggle at the sensation of like. a thousand Joltiks crawling all over your skin. But you try to get up- And the shambling monstrous creature in front of you apologizes awkwardly, and- more Joltiks. And Galvantulas now too! Are swarming the tunnel. Wonderful.

Ingo is watching in mild bemusement; he knows he’ll be swarmed by the spiders as well if he steps out, but he sees you practically swimming in the little spiders, desperately avoiding stepping on any of them and cautiously trying to move- to some surface- not being occupied- by the little guys.

This isn’t good- you could be electrocuted! So Ingo snaps his fingers and-

You’re back in the Gear Station lobby.

God fucking dammit, you swear to yourself-

No. You met the monster and it was totally down to fuck. You’re gonna fuck that monster, and nothing but Divine Intervention is going to stop you.

Wait-

> because the universe cock blocking them despite/possibly IN SPITE of all their in general powers is really funny, if only for The Bit™ - 

The universe is cock blocking them? Of course it is, Feather Anon! After all, Arceus told them they weren’t allowed in it’s creation, and yet- Arceus looks down over Unova after a massive magical anomaly causes a Subway System to manifest in the region, not to mention Dialga getting bullied by eldritch entities-

And sees the two assholes he specifically said were not allowed in his creation. Running around like they own the damn place.

Arceus doesn’t want to intervene itself, so why not annoy the shit out of them back? They aren’t trying to destroy the universe- Nor are they rewriting time and space, so why not just mess with them? After all, Arceus- It’s the Avatar of the Divine Force that created this realm- It can cockblock whoever the fuck it wants to. :)

#Feather Anon #Seth.anon #Seth.asks #Seth.Emmet #Seth.Ingo #Demon AU #Monster AU #Demon Submas #Monster Submas

[aintitfierce]

just quietly sharing some parts of what i've written of the fic rewrite so far

“Grandmother made her requirements too difficult!” Vanya cries. “Not even the most Lovely Vanya can achieve them, and so they are too much. They are then to must be adjusted, and it must be at once for the Pretty Vanya has spent a good time on them already.”

“They’re not called impossible for nothing, dear,” the witch croons. "I have no mind to change them, not even a little bit."

Vanya makes a shrill noise rather like an angry cat in response, much to Grandmother’s private amusement. Finally, here, he pulls himself up, releases the grip he’d long held of her apron and instead tosses those balled fists down by his sides.

"Then Pretty Vanya has so shamefully misjudged the grandmother witch!" He begins with heated despair. "She is not very dear at all! She is actually very quite cruel!! She will let poor Virtuous Sirree remain in the rest of her days a cursed one..!"

"The curse isn't real, little baby," Grandmother is quick to remind him, reaching out for him, cupping his fluffy face in one of her hands and using the other to smooth down errant hairs. "That was your addition."

An addition which admittedly still puzzles her, but she's in no hurry to solve the mystery. She looks upon it in the same distantly curious, bemused way one might regard an eccentric relative, which she supposes is fitting enough.

To have his fabrication so blatantly and casually thrown back in his face seems to sit poorly with Vanya, as might be expected. Grandmother is not convinced it’s impossible that he’d forgotten he was talking to the one person in Oostal who would know without a doubt that this so-called curse was only fiction.

He doesn’t yet move to tug away from her, staring up at her with an utterly incensed look which reminds her the little Vanya Creature would prove to be a dangerous grudge-holding adversary to anyone else. It’s too bad for him, she thinks, that he has chosen her as his opponent.

“Then Pretty Vanya shall do your impossible tasks,” he snaps, so forcefully that his little teeth clack together. Her fingers which had previously been combing through the plush fur atop his head briefly twitch away. “He will show you they are not so impossible..!”

“I look forward to it,” she replies graciously, and here she removes her claws of her own volition.

Vanya leaves in a huff, but she can not help but to notice that he still very gently closes the ramshackle door to her abode, ever so careful not to damage it.

The Pretty Vanya Creature is a funny little thing.

#i like that this has a Huge spoiler for the original fic but #given the fact i'm probably never going to finish it. well. lies down #typewriter ghost

[thewholecrew]

@deathvisited said: “  not everyone is just going to become another scar. some people will stay, if you let them.  ” / Dealers choice to Seb in modern post Grant fall apart.

this had started to become a bit of a pattern recently, for sebastian and his boys, and kassy and alec to have sessions together. though rykard was still rather shy when it came to kassy, alec would say the overall end result was that everyone was happy and well satisfied. well, perhaps almost everyone.

with rykard, caleb and kassy sound asleep in the massive bed it was just him and sebastian who were left awake. well, alec had been the first to fall asleep but had recovered by the time the others had exhausted themselves. laying between kassy and sebastian, he was pretending to sleep and only peeked over at the larger man as he slipped from the bed as he usually would.

alec didn't know much about sebastians past but he could pick out heartbreak on someone from a mile away and it had been quite clear that it was one of the reasons as to why sebastian had.. reacted in the way he did. why, to some extent, he had been so avoidant with kassy and so harsh with him. alec understood the pain of heartbreak but he had never closed himself off from love because of it, he couldn't. so he had never experienced such a painful feeling for as long as it appeared sebastian was.

he had also picked up a few things during more private times he'd been used by the man, he had heard the beginning of a name stifled once or twice. alec had never spoked about it, had usually forgotten about it after it all and only in moments like this had he remembered. like the small pieces slowly fitting together. he'd spoken with caleb before too, about how they both wished their dom/mes would open up to them more. it was clear how much caleb loved sebastian. how rykard was beginning to feel the same, and it saddened him that the ghost of whoever was haunting sebastian was in the way of something that could potentially blossom into something beautiful.

quietly alec slipped from the bed, his legs a little wobbly at first before he followed after sebastian. his heart raced in his chest, feeling a little breathless because what was he thinking? though sebastian had eased up on him recently, had grown more friendly towards him, alec knew it was not an invite for him to voice his opinion on the mans love life. yet he was still walking closer to where sebastian was leaned with a glass of something. shouldn't you be in bed little one? sebastians deep voice called even with his back to alec he knew he was there and the boy jumped in surprise, practically gulping.

slowly, he drew closer, "i'm not tired," he told him quietly, "and... thought i could get everyone some water..?" he added, cheeks flushing as the man finally turned a bit towards him. he felt like a mouse caught by a big hungry cat, frozen in his cold, bemused gaze, clearly not buying his excuse. this time he really did gulp, "i... wanted to check on you," he finally said, an honest answer, even if the first one wasn't wrong either.

when he was given a non-commital scoff at that and the heavy gaze was lifted, alec drew closer, watching as sebastian took another sip from his glass. he was quiet when he finally stood beside sebastian, his delicate hands linking together in front of him as he leaned back against the counter too. he wore another one of the mans oversized shirts yet not hiding as many markings as it had before -- well not as many from him, more from kassy this time.

he felt as though his heart was going to beat out of his chest as he tried to think of the words he wished to form, the comment caught clinging to his tongue. he didn't wish to cross a boundary and so he practically squirmed beside the man, picking at his shirt as his lips pursed and brows furrowed. eventually sebastian sighed, spit it out, he ordered and the consent to do so had a breath whooshing from alec.

big blue eyes rose to look up at sebastian, shining softly, sincerely before he quickly averted them and braced himself for a repremand. "i... i just want to say that... that not everyone is just going to become another scar." he nervously glanced up at the man again before away, hands fidgeting together as he continued, "some people will stay, if you let them." he hoped it was clear that he meant caleb and rykard but his face felt hot, even if he moved closer to the taller man. "i'm sorry... for whatever happed to make you feel as if that isn't possible..." he didn't wish to put any of the dynamics in this home at risk and so he hoped he hadn't angered sebastian with his thoughts. and in a quick spur of the moment, he turned towards him, arms wrapping around him in a quick hug.

it was brief but as tight as he could make it, before he retreated. "i'm going to get some water now, uhm... i'm sure... everyone would be really happy if you were to join them tonight.." he backed away, offering a shy smile before he busied himself with his task.

#deathvisited #verse: modern. #alec cross: answered ask. #:')))

[sansxfuckyou]

Not Many Chances

Summary: Kyle really doesn't know what to expect from Kenny after he arrives in the middle of a snow storm, although, Kenny being armed with high quality chocolates from god knows where was not on his list of possibilities

Warnings: Swearing, nausea, check Ao3 port for full tags

Authors Note: It has been under a month since I started watching South Park, yet here I am, writing K2 already cause they're my favs. @bree-sae you're the south park mutual, by rights I simply must subject you to it. Anyways! If ya'll enjoyed maybe consider dropping a reblog or checking out the Ao3 port and leaving a comment.

An obnoxiously loud knock alerted Kyle from where he sat in the living room. He reluctantly pulled himself off of the couch and made his way to the door. He tugged on his hat after a brief glance outside to find the snow was still in the torrential phase of the storm. He tugged the zipper of his jacket up before tugging open the door, shock washed over him at the sight.

Kenny, outside, in a snow storm, with his hood down. He's visibly shivering and just about every inch of his face is red with the chills biting at him. He gives a weak, "Hi," before Kyle ushers him in and slams the door shut. A small amount of snow had coated the doormat in what must've been record time.

"Dude what the fuck were you doing out there?!" Kyle exclaimed. The worry he exhibited didn't seep into his voice as much as his expression and the way he held himself.

Kenny shrugged. He kicked off his boots, "Delivery," He pulled off his backpack and tossed it over to the couch. It landed a couple inches short.

"Why did you have your hood down?" Kyle asked, trying to force his tone even as he brought hands to rest at Kennys face. His skin was cold, impossibly so (he was glad his face was already red), "You could get frostbite man."

"I know," Kenny said, "Don't care," He pulled off his parka and hung it up at the door.

Kyle took a deep breath, "I care, and you should to- Kenny I don't know what makes you think you're invincible but I'd hate to see you die."

Kenny has to refrain from scoffing at the notions of dying. He's done it hundreds, if not thousands of times. What's one more death on the pile?

"I'll go make some tea," Kyle said, turning to head to the kitchen.

"I'm fine," Kenny said.

"You're fucking freezing, you have enough snow in your hair to build a sled hill," Kyle said, to accentuate his point he plucked a clump of snow from Kennys hair. Then he grabbed another, and another, damp hair tangled just a bit, "I'm making tea."

"You don't have too," Kenny said, raising Kyles hand from his hair. He holds on for a little bit too long, as though he was memorizing each curve with gloved hands. He didn't move his hand against Kyles until he was letting go, "You'd just be wasting it."

"Idiot," was all Kyle could produce in protest to Kennys statement, "I'm making you tea and you're having some whether you like it or not."

"Can't make me drink it," Kenny countered with, smirking a cat like smirk.

"Watch me," Kyle snarled out, pressing a finger to Kennys chest as he spoke.

The McCormicks heart rate doubled in a second, and only for a moment. But he certainly felt tingly all over at the tone and the motion accompanying it. He swallowed thickly as he tried to find the words trapped in his throat. Nothing came out and he wished so desperately he had his parka on to fully shield his sense of self.

Kyle took a step back, "What type do you want?"

Kenny shrugged, "Sleepy Time...?" It sounded more like a question than an answer.

"I'll see if we have any," Kyle said, as calmly as he could manage before taking a turn to the kitchen leaving Kenny stunned in the front hall.

He shook the snow from his hair to the best of his ability, trying to get as much of it on the mat as he could. Jeez his hair was wet, and cold, so were his fingers. He gives a bemused hum as he makes his way to the couch, dropping down and crossing one leg over the other as he waits impatiently. He reaches over the edge and grabs at his backpack, reaching in and yanking out a small box.

He spent so long scrounging for cash to buy some of the actually good stuff, not the cheap No Name stuff. He barely got a chance to even have the cheap stuff with the cash his family managed to come by going towards real food. But on the random chance he found a twenty dollar bill lying around he always bought something frivolous with it. The last time he actually spent the coins and cash he found around South Park was months ago, he only decided to save up and buy the good stuff after getting an impossibly small taste of high quality anything. He doesn't even remember what it was, all that he remembers is the absolute richness of the flavor rolling around his mouth.

His nails threaten to tear open the tape on the small box of chocolates, only twelve. He's never had the brand personally, but every cashier said it was the best, although he did get some weird looks for asking if its kosher. He had to ask well over three people to find out the answer, it was yes- if it wasn't he had no clue what else to do. He pressed in on the tape just a little bit more, Kyle wouldn't notice one missing chocolate, would he?

"We're out of sleepy time tea!"

Kyles exclamation snaps Kenny from his thoughts in instant and he's beyond glad that it did. He almost messed up his gift, almost indulged, he doesn't deserve that shit. He's too poor to have such a treat, Kyle on the other hand? He isn't, he's probably had the brand a hundred times over and this stupid little gift is nothing. He isn't even out, it'd just be seen as a friendly gesture if it was seen as anything at all. This dogshit ass tier attempt at courting Kyle of all people, this garbage idea of getting chocolates with money he hadn't even earned himself.

"I think we have some raspberry stuff!"

This time his voice barely dragged Kenny out of his stupor, he did catch the footsteps and stuff the box behind his back. Kyle leaned on the backrest of the couch, one arm crossed over the other. He rested his head on his arms and gave a warm smile that made Kenny feel all oozy and gooey inside.

"So," Kyle begins, voice somewhat a purr. He rolled the letters even though they aren't rollable letters, "What's the delivery that you mentioned?"

"It doesn't matter," Kenny managed to get out defensively.

Kyle vaulted himself over the back of the couch, he placed a hand on either side of Kennys hips. He simply reveled in the slightest twitch of Kennys expression, "Really? Cause if it doesn't matter then I doubt you'd make it a point to trek through a snow storm."

Kenny gave a drawn out groan of annoyance before holding out the small box of Lindor chocolates. Kyle took them from his hands, "I got you some chocolate."

"Dude, this shit is like, expensive," Kyle said as he rotated the box in his hand, even shaking it to make sure it actually had chocolates. He didn't even want to open it, he knew they were safe to eat, but he still held hesitance. He inched back and sat up, knees bent underneath him.

"I know," Kenny said, pushing himself a little bit more upright, "I've been saving up for a bit."

"You're sure that I can have them?" Kyle asked, he was still reeling over the fact that Kenny managed enough cash to buy brand name chocolate. Let alone this brand, expensive, tasty, there wasn't even a fifty percent off sticker on it.

And he's offering it to Kyle.

"I bought them for you," Kenny answered with, "Like, if the cashiers were lying about them being kosher we can trash them or whatever, I totally get that."

"No they got deemed kosher a while back," Kyle said, tugging his thumb nail along the tape and tearing it open, "I'm just shocked you'd get them for me."

Kenny paused, carefully stepping over his next words. Kyle was already out, everyone already knew he was queer (even Cartman). But Kenny? Kenny was still in the comfort of a metaphorical closet, "I don't usually have enough to give gifts, I had some extra cash, thought I might do something nice."

Kyle gives a hum as he pops open the box and unwraps a chocolate, "Thanks man."

"Your welcome," Kenny answered with reflexively.

He stared when Kyle ate the chocolate, it looked so fucking good, like, he'd never been so entranced over such a small morsel. But this one little chocolate had him under the worlds stupidest spell, or maybe it was Kyle. One of the two, the fluid motions as he unwrapped a second chocolate and popped it into his mouth- Kenny could practically smell the sweetness. Was his mouth watering? Maybe just a bit, who could blame him with how much the packaging amped up the quality. And how pleased Kyle looked indulging in just a few chocolates, he looked absolutely fucking euphoric.

Then he glanced over to Kenny who quickly stared to the floor instead.

"Were you staring?" Kyle asked gently, a teasing lilt to his tone.

Kenny didn't respond for a moment, "A bit, looks tasty."

"Have you ever had chocolate?" Kyle asked.

Kenny scoffed, "Obviously, who hasn't? I've just never had much name brand stuff."

"Do you want one?" Kyle offered.

Kenny nodded, then shook his head, "I shouldn't, they're yours, I'm like, I'm too poor for shit that good."

Kyle pushed the box over to Kenny who pushed it back, "Dude, if you want one have one," He edged a little bit closer to Kenny.

"I don't deserve it man, don't even wanna touch it," Kenny said as he backed further into the armrest, it jutted into the small of his back.

Kyle fell back and Kenny couldn't help but study his expression as the red head carefully thought over his plan of actions. He was supposed to stay silent when Kyle was thinking. He'd break his focus. He'd ruin his mood. He did not care.

"I just, it's your chocolate man- expensive chocolate. Too expensive for someone like me-" Kenny further explained.

"Kenny, shut up," Kyle snapped, not even glancing to face Kenny, and Kenny did exactly as told.

He watched with rapt attention as Kyle grabbed another chocolate and unwrapped it, tugging each end taut and scrapping the plastic cover. He didn't eat it, instead he turned to face Kenny once more, chocolate held between two fingers.

"Open wide," Kyle instructed, the bluntness of his words shocked Kenny more than anything.

"What?" Was all he could manage.

"Open. Wide. Trust me," Kyle said, the chocolate was starting to melt in his grip.

Kenny opened his mouth just a bit, "I will bite."

"Good," Came Kyles answer, spilling so fluidly it was as though he wasn't even thinking.

Kenny froze up entirely, even more so when a finger slipped past his lips and propped open his jaw just a bit more. He didn't dare move, even when one of the expensive and high quality chocolates he bought for Kyle was placed on his tongue. All he could do was focus on the soft flavor, Kyle leaned back and as much as Kenny had intended for those chocolates to be for Kyle he wouldn't dare spit it out. He'd been taught not to waste food, especially not fancy and pricey food, instead he closed his mouth and chewed.

He's pretty sure this is what sex feels like.

The flavor bursts across his tongue and oh god it's amazing, pure euphoria shoots through every nerve of his body as he chews. That delectable cocoa flavor coating every centimeter of his mouth and yeah, yeah it hurt a bit when it hit a cavity. But it was worth it, it was so worth it. He could sit and eat these all day long, he's shaking in his spot a little bit because he's never tried it before and he gets it. He gets why people pay big money for small amounts of good food instead of bulk, he didn't really understand it until right now.

Is he tearing up? Fuck he does not care if he's tearing up and that he's flapping his hands a little bit. He swallows thickly and the sweetness lingers on his tongue as he runs it along his teeth and the inside of his cheek. He finally opens his eyes and sees that Kyle is simply staring at him with a saccharine and sly smirk, it suits him. Kenny is too caught in the euphoria of the velvety flavor coating the insides of his mouth to think straight.

His tongue flicks out to lap at his lips for the desperate attempt at getting more of that chocolatey flavor. The words that come out do not look good with his action, "You look really fucking good Kyle, when you grin like that."

Kyles expression flat-lines in a second, red shooting to his face as he goes through the words he just heard.

Kenny doesn't even realize what he's said until it's to late to take it back. His eyes widen just a bit as his words sink in, "I didn't mean to say that."

"I, you, can you repeat that?" Kyle asked, trying to voice his words loud enough for Kenny to hear no matter how much he wanted to whisper.

"You look, you look hot when you grin," Kenny said despite the words coming up in a tangle of thorny roses being torn from his psyche. He fucked up, he fucked up big time, he just outed himself to Kyle completely by accident. And he did so by saying he looks hot- Kenny really wishes he could actually die of embarrassment right now, it would be far from the stupidest of deaths.

"Dude," Kyle began with, "That's sorta gay."

"You're one to talk, you're out of the closet and you kissed Cartman under the mistletoe," Kenny spat back with defensively.

"It was one time," Kyle said as he rolled his eyes, "I wish I hadn't."

"I wish I hadn't seen it happen," Kenny answered with.

"But even before I was out you never said I looked good, is this a new discovery? Or something else?" Kyle teased as he picked up another chocolate, the accusation had Kenny absolutely paralyzed.

Oh god. He was fucked. He had two, no, three choices. Number one: run. Number two: come clean. Number three: run. He could just push open the doors of the closet fully, or try and play it off as bro stuff.

"I mean, I just thought you'd already know," Kenny said, forcing down the small crack in his voice, "You're always good looking, and Stan too, Craig and Tweek as well- but that's just, what bros say."

Kyle quirked a brow, "Oh really?"

"Really," Kenny said, speaking far too fast for it to be true.

His eyes latched onto the chocolate in Kyles hand, shiny red wrapper still in tact and plastic crinkling as Kyle undid it. Slowly, his motions tantalizing as he unwrapped the small morsel of rich and delectable chocolate. He dropped the wrapper with little care to his motions, that sly grin on his face that had Kenny so helplessly paralyzed.

"Want another chocolate?" Kyle asked.

Kenny nodded, "I've already had my share though."

"We could share one," Kyle offered.

"Too small to split it," Kenny said, he was lying, he just didn't want to eat more then welcome.

"I know a couple good ways we could split it, if you trust me to just do it," Kyle said, switching the hand he held the chocolate in, "You trust me with yourself don't you?"

A raw sense of intimacy laces the string of words but Kenny completely ignores it as he nods, "Totally man."

"Cool," Kyle said before promptly taking a bite of the chocolate, then another. He just let it melt in his mouth as Kenny stared in shock.

"I thought I was getting some of that," Kenny said as Kyle edged closer.

"You are," Kyle answered with and Kenny could smell the sweetness of the chocolate on his breath, it was intoxicating.

Kenny gave a small sound as Kyle placed a hand on either side of him, pressing his knees at Kennys hips. He's short circuiting and he can't produce a single word, none of them are coming to mind at that. All he's doing is staring up helplessly at Kyle like a deer in headlights.

"Do you trust me?" Kyle asked once more, voice soft and smooth, a rich honey sweetness on his tone.

And Kenny couldn't help but nod, he'd do anything if Kyle spoke to him like that. So sweetly, so perfectly, he smelt like chocolate, where his arms brushed against Kenny it was molten lava. He pressed his knees a little bit harder against Kennys hips and it felt like electricity, sparks running through him. Kennys pretty sure nothing could top this, right here. The almost glazed over look in Kyles eyes, the pressure at hips- his heart is beating so fast he wouldn't be shocked if it burst from his chest.

And then Kyle kissed him, he barely took note of how fast the gap closed. He can't even react, he isn't even sure how he's supposed to react at that. All he does is freeze, he doesn't move until that rich chocolatey flavor graces the tip of his tongue. Somehow a timidness lingers on his motions, every little thing he's cautious about even though he could just end up dying and Kyle would forget the entire encounter.

He doesn't want that though, for once in his cursed life he wants to make it through the day. He brings his hands to rest at the small of Kyles back, sliding his fingers briefly under the hem of his shirt. He can't keep his open and he's pretty sure it's because he's scared that if he does it's gonna be someone else. He doesn't want it to be someone else, he really doesn't, especially with that delectable cocoa coating every square inch of his mouth every time Kyle pushes a bit further into the moment. He whimpers when Kyle pulls back, and it's only for a second that he let's his eyes flutter open and he swears the sight alone is enough to kill him. But it doesn't, his heart keeps beating with that liquid mercury heat washing over every nerve in his body at the sight of Kyles saccharine smirk.

"So," Kyle begins softly, "Hows the chocolate?"

Kenny still can't speak even though his mouth is hanging open in slight shock.

Kyles gives a light laugh, a perfect, angelic laugh, "C'mon man, where's your words?"

"I," Kenny barely manages to croak out, "Chocolate was fucking good."

"Want some more?" Kyle taunted, already reaching for another chocolate. His smirk betrayed how serious he was about sharing another one.

Kenny shook his head, "I'll pass."

"Okay," Kyle said, dropping the chocolate and pushing off Kennys hands before sitting up and falling back on the couch. He reached for the TV remote, "Wanna watch some TV?"

"I'm good, I gotta go feed Cartmans cat," Kenny managed to get out stiffly, the euphoria finally wearing down leaving him in terror. He fucked up, he completely and utterly fucked up, word gets out and he is ruined. Forever. He'll be absolutely ruined forever.

"You good man?" Kyle asked gently, giving Kenny the most empathetic look he could manage. He was still riding the high of kissing his best friend and maybe long time crush.

Kenny nodded as he stood up, his knees felt weak, "Yeah, perfectly fine," His stomach was turning impossibly fast and he can already feel that twisting sensation at the pit, "Would you rather I hurl in your toilet or on the lawn?"

Kyle was on his feet in a second and helping the McCormick over to the stairs and up them. He looked sea sick, like he's on a boat for the first time in his life and really disagreeing with the way they work. He's clutching his stomach as he makes his way to drop down on the floor, back pressed against the side of the bathtub. He tilts his head back to stare up at the fluorescent light, knees hitched and brought to his chest.

Kyle sits down beside him, staring at the floor in shame, how could he dare be so bold? What an idiot! Thinking that Kenny could possibly be into him, he's ramrod straight and Kyle decided that going for a kiss would be worth it. Using really good chocolate as bait at that, while ingenious, maybe a little bit cruel to use against Kenny. He hesitantly places a hand on his friends back and rubs circles on it.

"Sorry," Kyle got out quietly, "I should not have done that."

"It's fine," Kenny managed to get out, "Really, it's fine."

"Dude, I fucking baited you with chocolate to try and get a kiss," Kyle said, sounding exasperated but only with himself, "That is not fine."

"My fault that I went for it," Kenny said, he gave a full body shudder as another wave of nausea hit him.

"You're not even queer man," Kyle said, he gave a heavy sigh, "And now you're here, on the verge of throwing up because I kissed you."

Kenny pursed his lips before speaking, "I am queer, I just, didn't want anyone to know yet," He barely speaks loud enough for Kenny to hear.

Kyle paused, "Oh, yeah I guess you would've pushed me off if you weren't."

"Yeah man," Kenny said, giving a weak laugh as he spoke, "We aren't, we aren't going to tell anyone about that, right?" Fear laced his voice and the notions alone made him feel even worse.

"Of course not," Kyle said and Kenny visibly relaxed, every muscle of his body dropping tensions just a bit.

"Thanks," Kenny got out quietly, he tapped his feet against the floor, "Could you do it again?"

"Do what man?" Kyle asked.

"Kiss, could we like, do it again?" Kenny asked, nervousness seeped into his voice and he hated it. He could talk about sex in the most graphic detail known to mankind without stuttering even once or getting flustered in the slightest. But asking for a kiss? That's what kills his charisma.

Kyle gives a hum, "Maybe after you figure out if you're gonna vomit, unlike some people I find regurgitated chocolate to be nasty."

Kenny gives a laugh, "Fucking nasty."

"Super nasty," Kyle countered with, grin on his face.

"The nastiest of them all," Kenny answered without fail.

#sp k2 #south park k2 #kyle x kenny #kenny x kyle #south park #kenny mccormick #kyle broflovski

[sohannabarberaesque]

Postcards from Snagglepuss (Minnesota State Fair edition)

Of frappe brain freezes and home baking at its finest

You probably know, beyond a doubt, that some of the best exhibits at any fair are those of homemakers submitting their best examples of baking and preserving of all sorts. As well as, in their own way, those of the 4-H generation trying their best in these areas among others.

Which brings to mind something amusing in the wake of a brain freeze (transient, mind you) caused by one of those mocha-type frappes they serve at the Minnesota Farmers Union Building at the Minnesota State Fair. So for the uninitiated, a frappe of this sort is iced coffee and chocolate whipped up into a sort of a cross between a 7-Eleven Slurpee and those F'Real shakes. Rather delectable, though at times, they can deliver brain freezes on a par with ice cream, gelato, frozen custard even ... otherwise known as the "ice cream headache!"

It was just Huckleberry Hound and yours truly cooling off with these Farmers Union Frappes when the inevitable frappe headache, you might say, came along ... which came to the bemused attention of what we like to call "the Laydeez of Hanna-Barbera." Think of them as our answer to the Disney Princesses, but with a little more sass, a little bit of 'tude, you might say--to wit:

Penelope Pitstop, more or less than the "den mother" of these Laydeez;

Daphne Blake and Velma Dinkley from the Scooby-Doo troupe;

Kitty Jo from the Cattanooga Cats;

April Stewart from The Funky Phantom;

Tina from Goober and the Ghost Chasers;

Debbie from Speed Buggy;

Representing the Clue Club, Pepper and Dottie;

Out of Jabberjaw's band, The Neptunes, Shelley and Bubbles;

The Teen Angels "themselves," viz., Brenda, Dee-Dee and Taffy;

Cindy Mae from The Buford Files;

Wendy and Rita out of The Galloping Ghost; and

Dinky Dog's co-handlers, sisters Sandy and Monica.

(For such who ask, Kitty Jo, though she be feline in nature, was given a special consideration being among these Laydeez, whose backgrounds, admittedly, came from "meddling-kids-and-dog" type scenarios.)

At any rate, these Laydeez couldn't help but be fond of sipping on coffee or frappes, depending on preference, and couldn't help but be bemused, as I said, at our having frappe-induced headaches. Which, thankfully, passed. To be followed by no less than Penelope Pitstop "herself," whose charm seemed to be on a par with Peter Potamus, leading our crew into the Creative Activities Building and, in particular, the section given over to home baking, canning and preserving.

The takeaway from all this, I have to admit, as it was explained by the Clue Club's Pepper at one point, was "one of realising that we gals really don't need to go through the ordeal of having to constantly diet, diet, diet 'just to stay looks-conscious.' Especially when it comes to the cookies, cakes, pies and sweet rolls."

And even then, for their part, Sandy and Monica couldn't help but be surprised that there was competition for home-baked dog biscuits, though, as Monica casually explained it to us, "it might make you wonder just how many of the largest size dog biscuits available you'd have to feed a dog the size of Dinky just to keep him satisfied--not to mention some water as well just to wash them down!"

"Let alone Goober when he's not pulling off that disappearing stunt!" Tina wryly added, alluding there to Goober's response to the presence of ghostly presences on missions with her crew, bound to give her compadres Ted and Gilly fits at times.

But at least once, fairgoers couldn't help but discern how utterly identical in dress Daphne and Kitty Joe were, with the inevitable selfie requests. (Though, as it should be noted, Daphne prefers stiletto-heel pumps and Kitty Jo go-go boots.)

Close by, a modest little sales area for chintzy kitchen gadgets as much as gourmand-type specialities ... and as if the Southern-style soup mixes weren't enticing enough for those Laydeez (enough so as to cause a run on several varieties, many such wanting to seriously stock up), lefse--a Norwegian potato flatbread, know--also attracted the Laydeez' curiosity. Hopefully, we may expect to hear in due time how the lefse came out among the Laydeez of Hanna-Barbera.

(Oh, and we--that's Huckleberry Hound and yours truly--made sure to pick up some of that enticing soup mix as well. Especially for some autumnal-type afternoon at Crazy Claws' place dictating especially hearty-type soups. And let's not forget the lefse.)

*************

@warnerbrosentertainment @desthpicable-thuccotash-blog @theweekenddigest @indigo-corvus @stuffaboutminnesota @archive-archives @themineralyoucrave @thylordshipofbutts @princessgalaxy505 @thebigdingle @screamingtoosoftly @warnerbros-blog1 @a-gang-of-silly-bananas @jellystone-enjoyer @groovybribri @warnerbrosent-blog

#hanna barbera #fanfic #motorhome life #road trip experience #postcards from snagglepuss #minnesota state fair #huckleberry hound and snagglepuss #frappe #brain freeze #frappe headache #laydeez of hanna-barbera #creative activities #baking competition #home baking #hannabarberaforever

[mintibunny]

And Now We Say Good-Night

Inspired by a Discord conversation. Featuring @driftward's character, Zoissette; Y'shtola; Thancred; and Minti Chocolate. Sprouts beware, spoilers for Endwalker are over there!

"I don't know what to tell you, other than that she's been lying on the fainting couch for hours, not really moving."

Minti Chocolate, one of Gage Acquisitions' newer viera employees, nervously shifted her feet in front of the two guests. She wasn't accustomed to talking to the Warrior of Light's entourage, much less former members of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. Riff-raff off the street looking for a fight? Easy. She was a seasoned adventurer; taking out the local goons was like blowing her nose. However, neither adventuring school, nor her boss, could prepare her for a visit from two of Eorzea's greatest heroes. Two thought crossed her mind, staring at their black, wizened staff and shining gunblade: I'd be dead before I hit the ground. And: the cat's smaller than I imagined. Best not to say those things aloud.

"It would be fair not to make any assumptions yet, Miss Chocolate," said Thancred Waters, handsome hyur of Ul'dah who traded breaking hearts for gunblades. He turned to his shorter companion. "Though it is rather odd that she hasn't awoken yet. When would you say she arrived at the free company house?"

"Nine bells in the morning, two days ago," replied Minti, confidently. "She ate, changed out of her armor, and excused herself to the common area downstairs. She was snoring for a little bit, but now she's gone quiet and hasn't gotten up at all."

"I see," said Y'shtola Rhul, noted miqo'te black mage and one of the Warrior of Light's closest confidants. "You'll permit me to attend her?"

Minti nodded. "Of course. If you'll come down the stairs to the common room? Mind the floor - the lizard is redecorating." She rolled her eyes. "Again." She rolled her eyes.

"The lizard?" asked Thancred as he descended the stairs.

"One of our company members. They're the resident decorator. They have an eye for perfection, which means that they're going to gut the floor and replace it with marble, or whispering stone, or that odd block Zoissette got from the Palace of the Dead. I could *swear* I've seen faces in it."

Thancred gave Y'shtola a bemused look before turning back to the viera. "Sounds like they're quite the character."

"They are!" Minti gestured over to the fainting couch, where an dark-haired elezen in a nightgown was sleeping peacefully. At least, they appeared to be peaceful. "And there's the princess herself. If you need anything, just call upstairs, someone will hear you. Probably."

With that, Minti went back up to the stairs and outside to the stables, where a naughty brown chocobo was doing their best to avoid a bath.

Y'shtola knelt down next to her friend and, with a gentle motion, brushed back stands of hair that'd fallen in front of their face. "These days have been rather hard on you, haven't they?" she said softly. "Our journey to the Thirteenth. Zero. The fiends. It's never easy being Her champion."

As far as the mage could tell, Zoissette's aether appeared as it should, changed though it had been since their first meeting. Nothing missing. No emptiness like that during the Final Days. "Your friends are worried about you, though. And, we need to go back to Radz-at-Han to discuss our findings with Nidhana. So don't think you can keep sleeping like Raha once did. You have work to do. We all do."

Before Y'shtola could get back up, Thancred was next to her with a blanket and hot stone. "I thought the 'princess' might appreciate a little extra comfort before she awakes. Tired herself out, has she?"

Y'shtola nodded. "Sleeping like a babe, our warrior of light. She'll wake soon, if she knows that we're waiting for her." She paused to drape the blanket over Zoissette, give a peck on the cheek, and a pat on the back. "Shall we go upstairs and sit? I'd like to see more of The Lizard's handiwork."

"If it'll help," said Thancred. "I could use some broadening of my Ul'dahn architectural knowledge."

"I didn't know you were such an appreciator."

"Neither did I. First time for everything, I suppose."

#comfy cozy warrior of light #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy oc #warrior of light #i don't know how to write the scions

[banannabethchase]

Baldabeth is the best AU ever! If you ever want to write more, I would read that shit so fast.

idfhgjdfghjknfdb thank you I'm so glad you enjoy it <3

~

Annabeth chokes on her complimentary Styrofoam cup of water. "Excuse me?"

"Your wife," the teacher, well meaning and smiling, says. "I would love to meet her." She adjusts in her seat, and Annabeth watches her smile wobble a little bit, lose some of its surety. "I mean, I like to make as much of the connection with all of the parents as possible."

Annabeth considers this for a moment. She brings up Piper a lot, sure. But she's brought up Percy too, right? He's on the emergency contact list. He's the one home with Ali most of the time, after all, with his weird evening schedule at the fire station. "Husband," she says carefully. "My husband, Percy."

She watches as the teacher goes from a bemused contentment to a horrified shock. "I - I am so sorry to presume. I just -" She sputters. She begins to look from Ali to Annabeth, then her gaze flickers up to Annabeth's hair. And, suddenly, Annabeth gets it.

"Oh!" she says. "Oh, no, you're good. I just - yeah, I hate taking care of mine, it's less manageable than hers, and it tangles so bad." She finds herself running her fingers through Ali's meticulously cared for curls, the ones she's moisturized and gently carded through, the locks she's found joy and solace in managing, unlike her own. Dark and coiled, smooth and perfect. Ali bumps her head up into Annabeth's hand like a cat.

The teacher relaxes. Annabeth knows that expression. It's one she wears often when interacting with people she doesn't understand all that well, when they wait for her to explain what she means instead of assuming the worst. "I should have asked," the teacher says with a laugh, and it's only then that Annabeth realizes she's got no idea what Ali's teacher's name is. "My wife and I do that a lot."

Annabeth relaxes even more. She feels safe with vulnerable people. Maybe because her experiences with gods and their assuredness have failed her every time. "Don't worry. It's really hard to offend me."

Ali distracts them both by getting up and walking over to a space in the room, grabbing a white file and, staggering under the weight of it, drops it in front of Annabeth.

"Mama," she says, pushing it toward Annabeth, "this is my bucket. I got all my journal stuff in here."

The teacher nods, pulling out a green notebook. "Thank you for reminding us of our plan, Ali," she says, "let's talk about how hard you work in reading and how quickly you pick things up in math!"

Ali beams. "Okay, Ms. Bryan!"

Ah, Annabeth thinks, watching in amiable silence as Ms. Bryant and Ali share Ali's math and language arts successes, her ability to finally blend and decode CVC words despite years of dyslexia getting in her way showcased by her teacher, and settles, finally, as Ali is praised for the progress instead of disparaged for it, Ms. Bryan is her name.

#Baldabeth #Yes some of this is based on my teaching experience #No I will not tell you which parts #Annabeth Chase #percabeth #otp: i fight the world for your heart #PJO #HoO #in which Sara writes

[adultswim2021]

Frisky Dingo #25: “Differences are Put Slightly Aside” | March 24, 2008 - 12:15AM | S02E12

The Frisky Dingo finale is finally here. Please note: I never did watch those Xtacles pilots, so I have no idea if they continued the story at all, or if they were their own thing or what, but this is the final episode of the Adult Swim television series “Frisky Dingo”. Did you like it? 

In this episode? I’m glad you asked. Val, the Decepticles, Simon, Killface, and Xander are all roughly where we left them in the last episode, outside the hotel where Wendell has taken off with the Annihilatrix key and coupling, riding the freshly born ant monster baby like a horsey. The baby grows rapidly throughout the episode, until it’s basically a Godzilla-sized monster. 

Eventually Killface and Xander form an uneasy alliance to intercept Wendell, taking off in the Killface-mobile (a sensible blue hatchback). In the car we get some goofy conversations about a ringtone called cat party, a ringtone called DOG party, falling deserts, and celebrity prankster Richard Kind. In the car we find out that Killface didn’t realize that Xander was Awesome X, and he’s only slightly bemused by that fact. 

There’s also a tossed-off line about the oceans drying up, which I genuinely didn’t understand either the first time I watched this nor this last time. I literally googled it and got to a transcript of the episode generated by the DVD subtitle track. It’s a joke about Xander hearing “the C is gone” and thinking it means “the sea is gone”. Didn’t get it until seeing it spelled out for me. Like, I remember vaguely thinking that was somehow a plot device of the show, was that Earth no longer had an ocean in the Frisky Dingo universe. 

The C has been broken off the side of Crewes Enterprises and is being used to steer Cody II. Wendell eventually ditches his robot pants figuring out that he’s being tracked. This leads to an uncomfortable joke about him rubbing his cock and balls against the moist, soft skin of the monster baby’s fontanelle.

I yearn for this time period for one reason: I feel like the entire world is neurotically politicizing every tasteless (or tasteful, for that matter) joke there is in some bid to be the most correct, and everyone accuses each other of being a bad actor. It’s very hard to just say you don’t or do like a joke that swings for the fences in this way without coming off disingenuous. I remember thinking Wendell rubbing his pud on a baby was moronic and base at the time. I still do, but I remembered it going on much longer than it actually did. It’s basically just a scene. Anyway, this scene proves that everyone in the entertainment industry loves molesting monster babies.

I’m leaving out plenty! There are entire subplots I didn’t talk about at all! Detours, too! So sue me! But: I forgot how this episode/series ended: an alien spacecraft shows up and destroys the monster. When it lands it’s revealed to belong to the same species of alien that Killface belongs to. His mother is on board, and she demands to know why he hasn’t destroyed Earth yet. “Funny story” he says, sheepishly. END. 

I guess it’s kinda nice that this series is a bit of a recursive loop. Presumably he’s about to tell her the funny story, starting with S01E01 of Sealab 2021, continuing on through the finale “Legacy of Laughter”, and then interrupting that show’s theme song to bring us S01E01 of Frisky Dingo. You can never stop watching these bad shows, even if you try. I mean, I’m finding that to be true for myself, anyway.

Ultimately, I do think Frisky Dingo grew on me and the quality did go up. Having not seen The Xtacles, I feel a little bit at a loss as far as writing some definitive closing sentence about the show. I don’t know if this IS the proper ending, or if this is basically it, or if they somehow referenced a “true ending” on Archer or some shit. I might have welcomed a third proper season, but as it stands I’m glad to have this show mostly under my belt. Onto Xtacles, I guess. Eventually.

EPHEMERA CORNER:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters “and Television” (March 30, 2008 - 11:30PM)

On March 30th, 2008, Adult Swim aired a special treat: Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters “and Television”. This was a legit screening of the movie on TV. The last time they claimed that they’d show us the movie on TV was the previous year when it hadn’t reached theaters yet. They did show it, but shortly after it started they shrunk it down into a little box in the corner which played over their normal programming. This airing was auspiciously NOT on April Fools, but close to it, and I wonder if they did that to throw us off their scent.

April Fools 2008 was a pretty substantial stunt this year, and I’ll be doing full write-ups for most of those premieres. There are a couple I’m opting to not cover in depth because they were shown in an incomplete state, so I’ll hold off on covering them until they air in full. Okay?

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #frisky dingo