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#i need to go outside more
gay-robot-boyfriends · 2 months
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I FINISHED BUILDING X! VILE IS UPSET! X IS AMUSED!
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Vile: "What the hell is going on here? Why the fuck are you so big?!" X: *shrug* :)
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Vile: "Rookie, put me the fuck down right fucking now, or I'll torch your face off!" X: "But you're such a cute baby girl now. Awww, are you blushing?" Vile: "SHUT UP!!"
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themsource · 4 months
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When the sky still mesmerizes you no matter how many times you've seen it...
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Trauma and Stands in JJBA
So this has been swirling around my head for a bit, and because I just lost my job today I figured it would be good to take my mind off of it by indulging in a bit of analytical escapism instead. 
It’s stated several times throughout Jojo that Stands are a manifestation of a person’s most innate self, their “soul” if you will. Some Stands can be a manifestation of positive aspects of a person’s soul, such as Tusk Act IV being a representation of Johnny Joestar’s resilience or Crazy Diamond being a representation of Josuke’s protective nature. It can be a great character analysis to just break down the aspects of a stand and how it relates to each character of Jojo. But that’s gonna be a super long essay that I don’t have the energy to write. 
What I want to talk about is how Stands can be a representation of things like trauma and negative coping mechanisms associated with it. Specifically, part 5 characters that are good examples of this. There could obviously be others from different parts, but these are the ones that I’ve been thinking about. 
The most obvious one would be Fugo. His stand has a lot of meaning to it. I think a lot of people tend to look at his character at only a surface level. Even if you want to discount the anime’s expansion on his backstory, it’s super clear that this kid has experienced serious trauma. Children don’t just become angry without reason. Fugo’s anger is a direct result of trauma, and we can see that with Purple Haze. It’s a Stand built to push people away, to lash out at friend or foe, or even Fugo himself. It’s a representation of Fugo’s desire to isolate himself as a way to cope, which is a common trait among people with CPTSD (article here: https://medium.com/invisible-illness/the-reasons-people-with-complex-ptsd-self-isolate-846266b52a6d). That anger, and by extension Purple Haze, are walls and armor Fugo built.
Another obvious example would be Abbacchio. While his Stand is useful in the events of Vento Aureo, Moody Blues’ ability is a clear representation of symptoms of rumination in PTSD (article here: https://sites.tufts.edu/emotiononthebrain/2014/11/18/hooked-on-a-feeling-intrusive-and-ruminative-symptoms-in-ptsd/). It’s ability is to play back the events of the past, much like how a person with PTSD will replay the memories of a traumatic event in their minds. Obviously the trauma of losing his partner as a cop would make this make sense. Personally, this makes me feel like Abbacchio is one of the most tragic characters in part 5 at least. What would his stand look like if he hadn’t experienced what he had? Not to mention his meeting with Bruno heavily implies engaging in substance abuse. 
Less obvious, but still interesting would be Bruno’s stand. There’s an issue with children of divorce having to deal with “split loyalty.” Even if the divorce his parents had was amicable, and even if Bruno decided to stay with his father, he had to essentially split himself apart to stay loyal to both parents. I honestly highly doubt his mother was just cool with him staying with his father, either. But you could chalk that up to extrapolation. So how does this relate to his Stand? Well, remember the fight with Pesci? When Bruno had to divide his actual physical heart in half to survive? That was not just a fight, that was a demonstration of his childhood. 
This post is so long, I need to go to bed. And find a new job. I hope this made sense to someone. 
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blueribbonbaby · 7 months
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10000 posts!
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xenetala · 15 days
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What is life? 🤣 This is only with 2 play-throughs... I'm not even done with the second one either...
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bad-kendi · 2 years
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some stuff
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riversideeeblr · 2 years
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most pathetic notification ever
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discoknack · 4 months
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What did I do today...
I looked at a bunch of screenies of the game and tried to compare their quality. I'm doing some sort of tournament thing with different settings.
Umm I placed leaf blobs on the background wall. And flower blobs. I'll need more leaf blobs and flower blobs on the fence. And then some plants in the planters. And then I will go over them in more detail.
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snakespeare · 5 months
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Had dream that Toby fox and will wood collabbed on a song about how bad the Tumblr mods are?????
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bitterpngs · 6 months
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maybe planting something would heal me
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Drawing grass > touching grass
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(Click on the image for better resolution :) )
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amu-says-hav-says · 9 months
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I can’t believe I went through all of Season 2 assuming Nina was the stand-in for Crowley when you actually pay attention it’s so CLEAR that she’s Aziraphale. I was tricked by her spiky, sarcastic, cynical outer shell and lulled into a false sense of security by Maggie’s bubbly optimism and wholesome goodness, because on the surface they reflect the ineffable husbands perfectly, in their personalities, their aesthetics, even many of their actions and morals. but not, and this is the real key, when it comes to their “relationship”. but those first impressions really had me damn fooled. 
I missed the blatantness of Nina’s “we’re just friends. actually we’re not friends. we barely know each other.” the same thing Aziraphale said in season 1.  the way he still struggles to quantify their friendship when Nina asks. Nina’s sarcasm when Crowley asks about rain and awnings because it worked for him (we all know it LMAO). hell, that whole convo the girls have in the rain is so AziraCrow (“I know. I’m not your type” “...You have no idea” hits so much harder the second time, help meeeee.) “Lindsay” maybe being symbolic of Heaven and Aziraphale’s toxic relationship with them and their abuse? (the handwritten text messages in red pen make me think of angry notes on paperwork, anyone else?) because Crowley has never actually cared about what Hell thinks of him, just not getting into trouble (or him or Aziraphale getting hurt). Maggie is always chasing Nina. NINA NEVER GOES IN THE RECORD STORE. Just like Crowley always goes to the bookstore, to Aziraphale, Zira NEVER WENT TO THE FLAT (apart from The Swap but that doesn’t count imo). Crowley has always chased Zira, not the other way around. Always there to rescue him, always going to him for company, always relying on their shared connection, always US. OUR SIDE. All through season one, he comes to Zira every time to work together, never trying to work alongside Hell in any way that isn’t to save their skins or Earth, while Zira hides things from Crowley because he STILL thinks Heaven is ultimately good and will do the right thing if he can just show them. fix it from the inside. 
Maggie working up the courage to finally say something, to put herself out there, while Nina is utterly oblivious and then when she does realise Maggie has feelings, becoming standoffish, putting up that barrier, fighting it, denying it, ITS SO CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE IN THAT ORDER. the way I was fooled into thinking Nina’s trust issues are Crowley because he does have trust issues ofc he does BUT Crowley has ALWAYS TRUSTED AZIRAPHALE. has always relied on him. has always been hurt when Aziraphale doesn’t immediately reciprocate the way he expects (the holy water request, the bandstand, the “off in the stars” etc). he’s always the one putting himself forward. Aziraphale has always been the one to second guess everything, to fight their connection, their similarities, their friendship. the girls really made me think it was going to be okay when they sat Crowley down, even as my inner sirens were going haywire about Metatron interfering, they were telling Crowley he just needs to open up and it’ll all work out BUT HE’S ALREADY AT THAT POINT. he may not say it, and by gosh is that part of their damn problem, but he’s always SHOWN IT. he’s not Nina who needs time to heal and recover from her broken trust, he’s always been Maggie believing it doesn’t matter, they’ll end up together in the end anyway AND I WALKED RIGHT INTO THE TRAP THAT THIS MEANT THEY WERE GOING TO BE OKAYYYYYYYYYYY
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felayslay · 1 year
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when im on my deathbed people will ask me what i remember and it will only be my tumblr mutuals usernames
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araneapeixes · 1 month
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in the bathroom at the gay clubbbb
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asthevermincrawls · 2 years
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why are you going to reblog a post at all if you're just going to rant in the tags about how the post is stupid and unecessary and just generally take it in bad faith
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sp0o0kylights · 8 months
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Part One / Part Two
A03
It ain’t much.” Wayne started, half-curious if the sight of his trailer would be the thing to offend Steve’s (so far lacking) born-rich sensibilities. 
Of course turning to look at the kid proved he was in his own head about this more than Steve was, because Steve had his eyes closed and looked two seconds away from puking. 
Right. 
Pain management. 
“I’ll get your stuff.” Wayne said as he guided the truck to its usual parking spot. 
Steve’s quiet ‘okay’ had him hustling a little bit, and the fact he had to gently guide the kid’s hand off his bag handle told him it was the right choice. 
The nailbat could wait in the car for the moment he figured, as he led Harrington in. He’d get it sorted once he’d fished out the pain pills and gotten Steve settled a bit. 
"Eds--he's my nephew that I told you about--has the bedroom, so you and I get to share out here." Wayne explained as he loaded Steve up on Tylenol and put a bag of frozen peas in his hand, not bothering to give a tour of the trailer. 
It was pretty damn clear which door led to the bathroom and which didn’t, given Ed’s door was wide open. 
Steve peeked at the absolute chaos strewn about beyond the doorframe but didn’t say nothing of it. 
Didn’t, in fact, even look too long, instead sitting at the table as directed. 
Seemed to sink a little into it, leaning an elbow on the cheap wood to help keep his head up. 
"The couch is a pull out, but I'll warn you the bar across the middle is nasty. I usually sleep on the cot over there," Wayne nodded to where it was rolled neatly against the opposite wall, "but given the state of you, I'll let ya have your pick." 
Steve blinked (or winked, not like Wayne could tell since the peas were pressed against half of his face) finally seeming to perk up a bit. "I can't take your bed." 
"I'm not going to fight you for it, I'm just offering." Wayne responded, now focused on trying to locate the bandages in his ancient medical kit. 
The one on Steve's hand was falling apart, and he didn't like the look of the injury he could see under it. 
Yeah, Wayne was absolutely going to need to make a run to the store. 
“Lemme see.” He asked as he finally got what he wanted. 
It seemed to take Harrington a minute to process what Wayne wanted, but he finally held out his injured hand, watching as Wayne unwrapped the bandages.
"I'll take the couch." Steve said stubbornly, but Wayne was past it, too busy frowning at the kid's hand. 
It took him a moment, once he'd gotten it all off, to properly realize what he was seeing--that the mottled bruising on Steve's wrist was separate from the cut across his palm.
In fact, it looked a hell of a lot like…
Wayne paused, then pretended to fuss with the dirty bandages for a moment while his eyes sought out Steve's other wrist.
Sure enough, matching bruises.
Someone had tied the kid up--and it hadn’t been the feds, because these bruises were partially healed. 
Wayne had initially thought of Steve as having been tortured in the same way roving bands of neighborhood kids tortured their peers. The kind of hurt that came when it was an unfair fight; four on one and wielding knives, so you had to take what you were given and pray you didn't get stabbed. 
He was not thinking actual, honest to God torture. 
Yet here the evidence was, plain as day.
'What the hell went down in that mall.' 
Someone as young as Steve shouldn't have been caught up in it, and it made a deep part of Wayne ache for the poor kid across from him.  
All this shit, and his parents still couldn't be bothered to come home.Just left him on his own, as if it was another Tuesday. 
Did they even know? Wayne wondered as he got to work. Had Steve, or Hopper, or anyone tried to call them about the mallfire? Let them know their son got hurt?
Jim said he hadn’t bothered to reach out regarding the spooks, but that had been a week or so later past the fire. 
Wayne couldn’t even imagine it. 
Getting a call that Eddie been involved in such a thing would have him off the couch in an instant, and the image that played on the news, the ones all the reporters talked over of a gurney being wheeled out of Starcourt’s on fire front doors…
He’d have been a wreck until he had his kid in his sights. 
‘Nothing you can do for that,’ Wayne figured silently, ‘but you can help him now.’
Wayne wasn't exactly an expert when it came to wound care, but like many people who just couldn't afford to go to a doctor he'd gotten by.
Learned a lot of home remedies. Figured out pretty quick when something needed to be seen by an expert and when you could hold off.
Made friends with some of the local nurses on the night shift down at the Red Barn, well enough that a few well baked treats and dishes could sometimes be traded for looking over a potentially broken arm or two. 
It had come in handy plenty, given Ed’s ability to attract trouble, but thankfully he’d never managed to hurt himself like this. 
He’d never even gotten caught in a bad fight. 
A black eye or two sure, but the kid had adapted his “scary” act not too long after Wayne had gotten him, and it seemed to work as intended. It was half the reason Wayne never said anything about it (and hell, even let Eddie take his ancient leather motorcycle jacket.) .
All of that was to say that he could tell Harrington's hand needed cleaning before it could be rebandaged, but didn't appear to need stitches. 
Course pouring alcohol all over an injury like this wasn't exactly going to be fun, and he told Steve as such.
"I know." Steve replied, with a grimace. The kid’s injuries seemed to be getting to him, and Wayne anticipated he was going to drop here the second Wayne was done looking him over. 
He hoped Harrington could get in a few hours--particularly before Eddie came home. 
Wayne gently wiped it clean, noting how well Steve sat given the amount of pain he had to be in.
Tylenol, even given the more than recommended amount he'd given Steve, just wasn't going to cut it. 
Not in general, and definitely not for this. 
What could help was likely something Eds had, which was yet another conversation Wayne wasn't looking forward to having.
Particularly given that Eds had sworn off selling hard drugs after his last encounter with Hopper, and Wayne knew damn well that had only lasted until the damn kid caught sight of an overdue bill. 
Too smart for his own good, Eddie was.
"I can give you something to bite down on, if you like." Wayne said to Steve, getting the alcohol and bandages ready to go. 
He got a tight smile in response. "So long as you don't use a needle, I'm good." 
And Wayne figured it was just teenager talk--a young man who didn't really know how bad this was going to be, and prepared himself to hold Steve's arm down accordingly so they wouldn't have to do it twice.
"Four." Wayne counted down. "Three. Two."
He poured on two.
Better that than Steve clenching up in anticipation.
Steve hissed, arm jerking, but stilled it under his own power as Wayne began dabbing his hand with some of the medkit’s wipes. 
He felt his eyebrow raise as Harrington froze himself in place, breathing in a way that felt practiced. 
This, Wayne decided, was not Steve's first rodeo. 
"Almost done." He promised softly as he finished wrapping the wound back up, this time in the pattern he'd been shown long ago. 
"Thanks." Steve said, blinking rapidly. 
The kid's eyes were wet, but he didn't let a tear fall, and that perked Wayne's attention more than anything. 
Some men felt they weren't allowed to cry--and pushed the same ideals on their sons. 
It wouldn't surprise him any if Richard Harrington was one of them. 
"I know you got hit more than just your hands and face kid." Wayne said, after letting Steve have a moment to recover. "You bleeding under that shirt?"
"Not bleeding." Steve murmured, looking more and more like he was struggling to stay upright now that the worst part was over. "I think my hand got the worst of it."
"Do I want to know what happened there?" Wayne asked, keeping his voice calm and non judgemental. 
Like they were back to talking sports.
"I fell back into a broken window.” Steve responded, and now that Wayne had seen the kid lie, it was easy to see when he was telling the truth. 
"Ouch." Wayne said flatly. Which made that hint of a smile flash across Steve's face. 
"I'll cut you a deal. I taped last weekend's game, but haven't had time to watch it yet. I figure you might not have had a chance neither." He sat back, nailing Harrington with a no-nonsense stare. "You let me take a look at what they did to your chest n' back there, and I'll put it on."
Steve just looked at him a little miserably, a beaten dog still hesitant to wag its tail. "I don't think there's anything you can do for it, it's really mostly bruised. Nothing feels broken though."
"You know what broken ribs feel like?" Wayne questioned partially out of curiosity but mostly to make sure.
Teenage boys loved to think themselves immortal after all.
Or at least his did.
"Cracked, but yeah." Steve admitted. "Couldn't finish out the year on the basketball team because of it."
He said it like it didn't hurt, but Wayne knew better.
Boy like Steve? 
He'd bet big bills something like basketball was all the kid really had, in terms of positive relationships.
(Except apparently, whatever had made Hopper decide to look after him.)
"I mostly just wanna make sure nothing looks like it's broken or bleeding internally son." Wayne said, then tried to cinch it with some good old guilt tripping. "I'd hate to have to tell Hopper that after all he went through to keep you safe, you up and died on my couch." 
"Hey, it might save him some future gray hairs." Steve responded but he looked a little more open to the idea, at least. 
It took a bit more coaxing, but Wayne finally got the kid to take his shirt off. 
The damage had him whistling out of instinct.
A fucking artist had gone to town on his torso, with bruised of all shades parading around to his left side. 
Thankfully most of it didn't hold that deep, dark tone that indicated any kind of bleeding, his back had scratches and road rash, and his shoulder had one long, thin line that looked a hell of a lot like Steve had narrowly avoided getting cut with a knife. 
"You got lucky, kid." Wayne told him.
Steve let out a shaky breath. "I know." 
He hesitated, then opened his mouth, a question clear on his face. 
Which of course, was the exact moment Eddie chose to walk through the door. 
"Hey old man, I--Harrington!?" 
"Munson?" Steve said, looking just as confused. "What are you doing here?"
"I live here?" Eddie had frozen in their little entryway, so close the door nearly whacked him on the ass as it slammed closed. 
Privately, Wayne cursed his nephew's awful timing.
"What are you doing here?" Eddie challenged back, and it was only years of Wayne knowin’ the kid to see he was struggling to decide how he wanted to react. 
“Uh…” Steve said, trailing off and looking pointedly at Wayne. 
Eddie saw this just as he registered all of Steve’s injuries. “Shit Wayne, did you hit him with your car?” 
“Don’t try to be funny, boy.” Wayne warned. There wasn’t much bite there, and Eddie, far too used to him, didn’t take it seriously.
Eddie was glued to the spot, eyes narrowing, “... Did Harrington hit the car with his fuckin’ face? Jesus christ.” 
Wayne could tell he was struggling to pull one of his usual little bits, eyes too wide and voice too high. 
He rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Eddie.”
“We can take him out back and shoot him, put the poor bastard out of his misery.” Eddie continued, like a runaway train. 
All gas, no breaks. 
It was a joke but a poor one, and it made Steve straighten out of his sideways slant. 
‘Dammit.’  Wayne thought with a sigh. 
He needed to stop this now, before the two of them went for each other's throats. 
“Since you already know each other I won’t bother with introductions.” Wayne cut in, before Eddie could blow up like a tea kettle--or cause Harrington to do the same. “Steve’s gonna be staying with us for a while.”
That of course, got the reaction Wayne had been hoping to avoid. 
Eddie stood stunned for a second, mouth gaping like a fish. 
“Why!?” He finally landed on, seeming both at a loss for words, and equally trying not to have a proper meltdown in front of Steve. 
Certainly wasn’t for Wayne’s benefit. 
"I'm…" Steve glanced at Wayne a second time, "...on vacation?"
 It took everything Wayne had in him not to run a hand down his face. 
He was going to give Harrington a pass, on account of the head trauma.
"You’re vacationing here.”Eddie’s tone was flat, but seething, like a lit fuse. “In my living room?” 
“...Yeah?” He finished poorly tone up-ticking at the end like it was a question. “It’s a--college thing. Supposed to help my applications.” 
This time, Wayne did run a hand down his face this time. 
God save him from idiot teenagers. 
Hands clenched tight, Eddie took an aborted glance to the right before shaking his head hard and scoffing. At least it let Wayne know exactly what his kid was thinking. 
To Eddie’s right was the counter where Wayne kept the bills. 
Before he realized just how badly Ed’s daddy had messed him up about such things, Wayne hadn’t bothered to hide the bills that were past due. Turns out the kid noticed such things, and worry over money had been the leading factor in more than one of Eddie’s run-ins with Hop.
Clearly, he thought it was the cause of Wayne entertaining this bullshit. 
Offense was written in every rigid line of his body, and Wayne knew betrayal wasn’t gonna be far behind. 
“What the hell Wayne!” Eddie spat, taking a singular step forward, the accent he tried so hard to hide growing thicker the madder he got. “We’re not a damn experiment--why would you agree to that!?” 
He had seconds to salvage this, before Ed’s ran and did something dumb. 
“‘Steve’s here cause I owe Hopper a favor.” Wayne answered honestly, standing to put himself between the two. “He reminded me of all the times he’s been good to you, and then he called it in. Now,” 
He cut Eddie off before his rant could pick up steam and bowl them all over. “I need you both to listen to me. Steve, I need Eddie to know the basics in order to keep you safe. I’ll only tell him what he needs to hear to understand why that is.” 
Steve stared at him for a moment, catching Wayne’s eye as the elder man positioned himself so he could see both boys at once.
“Okay.” Steve said, dropping the hesitant tone for something serious. 
Eddie said nothing, crossing his arms tightly over his chest and gripping the edges of his jacket hard enough to leave creases. 
Judging that as good enough, Wayne continued. “He’s not here on vacation, Ed’s. Hopper has asked us to house Steve for a bit due to an ongoing situation. It’s a dangerous one, and it’s important you do not tell anyone that Steve is here.”
Eddie’s mouth did the thing it did when he desperately wanted to say something, but Wayne held up a finger in the universal “wait.” position. 
“Let me finish.” He warned, and though he caught a hell of a glare for it, Eddie remained silent. 
“Right now I need you to trust me, son.” He said softly, and prayed that alone was enough for now. “I don’t do things without a good reason behind it. I know you know that. Let me get Steve settled, and I’ll come talk to you.” 
He could go in depth a little more, outside of Harrington’s eyesight. There Eddie would be inclined to drop the parts of his personality he put on blast as a defense mechanism, and ideally, Steve could get the sleep he so desperately needed. 
“It’ll be tight, but we’ll all get through this so long as you two keep your heads. “You both got plenty of problems right now on your own, you don’t need to add to it. You understand?”  
Eddie’s eyes narrowed dramatically as he sucked in a deep breath. 
“Fine.” He snarled, letting air hiss through his clenched teeth. “As long as King Dick here can keep himself out of my shit.”
Steve didn’t rise to the bait--or perhaps, was simply too tired to want to do anything but exit the conversation. 
‘Yes Sir.” He said instead, and Wayne didn’t bother correcting him that time. Simply clocked the title as a nervous tick of Steve’s and let himself feel that brief pang of sorrow that he’d caused the kid to backslide a bit trust wise.
No use for it, though.
Not if he wanted peace in his home. 
“Good.” Wayne said. 
Eddie stormed past, beeling towards his room. 
The door closed with an angry slam, the sound echoing throughout the trailer. 
Steve reacted like a puppet with its strings cut, letting out his own breath and going right back to slumping sideways. 
“Come on kid.” Wayne said quietly. “I think it’s beyond time you got to lay down. Let’s get you a shirt and some blankets.”
Steve didn’t say a word, just managed to get himself up and over to the couch, fumbling for his bag. 
“Oh.” He said after a moment, pulling a green sweater from the duffel and blinking dully at it. “Shit--I mean, shoot.” He shot a guilty look to Wayne, like Eddie hadn’t just sworn up a storm in front of them both. 
“What’s the matter?” Wayne just asked. 
“It’s nothing, I just-- grabbed the wrong bag.” Steve told him earnestly. It was clear the day had taken a hard toll on him, because he was blinking rapidly, fighting away sleep. 
A bad sign, given the energy Eddie had just come in with. 
It should be taking him longer to feel safe to drop off, and that he was doin’ so anyway was a bad testament to the state of him. 
“You need a different one?”
Steve shook his head. “No this is just my grab bag for the Upsi-errrm.” He hummed, before falling silent for a minute. 
Wayne let him fish for words at his leisure. 
“These are just clothes that I couldn’t get stains out of, kept them as backups.” Steve managed, before beginning the long process of pulling a shirt on. 
Wayne almost offered to help, except he knew he’d likely be rejected. It was too soon, the trust between them not there yet. 
He almost let the clothing comment go, figured it as  just one of those things the brain did when it was injured and run down. The sweater Steve was struggling with was expensive and soft, and Wayne didn’t even see a stain until the poor kid finally finished getting it on. 
He nearly froze, for the second time that day, when he did.
On one sleeve, smeared like Steve had wiped his face with it, was a bloodstain. 
This one was old, and clearly attempts had been made to get it out. 
‘Aw kid.’ He thought, staring at Steve as the kid managed to swing himself up on the couch, looking seconds away from dropping off. ‘What the hell has life done to you.’
It didn’t take long before sleep took him, but Wayne watched over him for a bit longer anyway, working up to what the hell he was going to tell his kid. 
Eddie might very well not forgive him for this, but Wayne had a shot now to head things off before they got worse. 
He just had to find the right words. 
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