#i said wouldnt this (being a more concerning thing) make you more sympathetic and she said no it just makes me more annoyed and this is the | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shadowfiredemonwolf · 1 year

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makorra were compatible with each other (korrasami has no real compatibility without korra being ooc

the notion that makorra breaking up in b2 means they could never work is idiotic ( neither of them would have worked with anyone they broke up due to mutual flaws that led to them breaking up flaws which they overcame by book 4 ( its korra and asami who couldnt work out without korra bieng ooc in the last 2 minutes

makorra is more comparable to kataang ( and mako showed that he could support korra the way she needed it asami didnt

I have seen people try to go well mako told raiko he did the right thing the notion that he should have just went along with korras plans when the only issue was that he didnt speak up sooner ( which is his problem he holds things in too much till they get to the breaking point he should have confronted korra much sooner) you can be sympathetic to korras issue and acknowledge that korra was in the wrong trying to take another countrys military away

(mako sees korra the person asami only sees the avatar)

makorra is far more comparable to kataang then zutara ( mako has the same position in krew he supports korra like katara supported aang , etc and is the talented bender) katara and mako both had some jerk moments and their flaws acknowledged and treated as such i feel korrasami was only popular because of desire for lgbt rep and the irrational hate for mako so they shipped it to spite and punish mako for daring to have flaws which had led to asami getting hurt when mako didnt do anything that required punishment

his flaws and mistakes were acknowledged as such bryke already handling his flaws and issues the way they needed to be people over reacted due to asami getting hurt

sorry but korrasami is more comparable to zutara the popular same sex ship that was popular despite not having a basis in canon

they had to twist the most minor moments to claim evidence along with piling up headcanons to try and claim a moment its evidence

the claim that korra chose asami to help her in b3 finale when that has no basis

and korra only smiled with her father and air babies and bolin when she was in that state

or claiming korra and asami sent each other letters for years when there was only one letter sent

and it doesnt mean korra is closer to asami ( korra sent one letter to vent and put a sense of closeness ( saying that korra sent the letter to someone she isnt concerned about makes way more sense)

while mako talked about korra the person asami in remembrances went youre the avatar we need you which was a failure tenzin needed to comein and bring up korra the person and how she grew as a person

while mako supported korra the way she needed to be supported in the episode where they went to confront zaheer ( while asami did nothing ) which adds to the list of many reasons korrasami was a last minute retcon. censors wouldnt have prevented them from interacting or bonding or showing a close relationship in anyway

ikkinthekitsune . tumblr . com/post/111124581145/you-said-that-korras-dialogue-implied-she-sent

Anonymous asked: you said that korra’s dialogue implied she sent asami only 1 letter could you make a post that shows the dialogue/script for it so I can see that

It’s not directly stated, but I think reading between the lines of the letter itself and Korra’s explanation of it makes it seem unlikely that she sent more than one:

“Dear Asami, I’m sorry I haven’t written to you sooner, but every time I’ve tried, I never know what to say. The past two years have been the hardest of my life. Even though I can get around fine now, I still can’t go into the Avatar State. I keep having visions of Zaheer and what happened that day. Katara thinks a lot of this is in my head, so I’ve been meditating a lot, but sometimes I worry I’ll never fully recover. Please don’t tell Mako and Bolin I wrote to you and not them. I don’t want to hurt their feelings, but it’s easier to tell you about this stuff. I don’t think they’d understand.”

The thing to note here is that Korra feels guilty about not writing to Mako and Bolin and says she doesn’t want to hurt their feelings, but seems to feel the need to tell someone about her fears. Considering the circumstances, continuing to write to Asami in spite of that guilt doesn’t make much sense.

She doesn’t really offer any room for a back-and-forth discussion in her letter, in any case — she’s treating it as a confessional rather than as an opportunity to talk. It seems more like she’s trying to explain why she hasn’t been able to respond than opening a conversation.

The other part of it is this:

“I wrote to Asami while I was away. I asked her not to tell you. I’m sorry.”

I feel like, if Korra wanted to keep up a continuous conversation with Asami, the request not to tell Mako and Bolin about it would have been phrased differently (“Please don’t tell Mako and Bolin I’m writing to you and not them” rather than “I wrote”) as would the explanation (“I sent letters to Asami while I was away”).

Instead, “wrote” is in the past tense in both cases, instead of something less ambiguously repetitive, and the second one mirrors the first, which is clearly only talking about the present letter.

It’s also important to remember that there isn’t much time for her to keep up a conversation even if she wanted to do so — she went off the grid within a few months of the letter, and international mail isn’t exactly instant.

“What irks me is that it’s obvious makorra was the planned ending. there is too much build up to deny it. it’s like bryke paved a road for that ending and swerved at the last second to end with korrasami. I don’t see representation. I see sloppy writing and pandering.fantastic-nonsense answered:Honestly, based on the way the narrative seemed to be heading, I was fully expecing Korra to remain single with the possibility of rekindling the Makorra relationship (as mature adults who have retained their love for each other but have grown, are more levelheaded, and are able to deal with conflicting responsibilites) in the future. But I will agree: a grand total of six interactions post-“Long Live the Queen,” only one of which is truly non-ambiguously romantic (the finale scene), does not proper relationship build-up make. “

shippers try to claim they couldnt show more because of censors but censorship but as fantastic-nonsense put it

“Censorship explains why we couldn’t get a kiss and an “I love you” in the finale or blatant romantic scenes, not the utter lack of Korra-Asami interaction as a whole. They had six (to six and a half) minutes of interaction in the last season, spread out over six interactions/conversations. They’ve had nearly no on-screen interaction since “Long Live the Queen,” actually. They had the 5 second “I can come to the South Pole” convo in “Korra Alone” (which Korra refused), the single letter, their interactions in “Reunions,” and then the tea scene in “Remembrances.” After that, they don’t speak again until the last two minutes of the finale. The episode after “Remembrances” is the Korra-Mako field trip to the Spirit Wilds and Zaheer’s prison and the culmination of Korra’s recovery arc. Where was Asami? She had two lines in the whole episode, and they were both to Varrick.”

the difference is that bryke broke the narrative to force korrasami in at the last minute

and zutara got actual moments and interactions which would say that they are close to one another

( to be frank toph x katara makes more sense then korrasami

korrasami being the only same sex ship in lok doesnt mean you are homophobic or dont care about the lgbt community if you dont ship it or say it shouldnt have happened good writing is more important then representation

good writing and not having a forced ship where you throw away narrative and two characters make no sense to be with each other is more important then filling a quota or publicity stunt. its more important then the genders involved ina ship

if they wanted to have a show with a same sex ship then make another show with a same sex ship canon with actual buildup etc

like say given that they are making another avatar series they could have not done korrasami and waited for the next avatar series to have a avatar in a same sex ship which would have actual buildup

anyone who trys to go there are tons of shows with a het ship being canon are the people who ship something based on the genders involved not the people criticizing korrasami if they try to go but there are tons of shows with het ships being canon as if its relevant to legend of korra they have no place to complain about queerbaiting or say a het ship is forced.

people arent mad that a het ship didnt become canon they are mad because korrasami was a forced last minute retcon there not being canon it being a same sex ship is irrelevant

people would have shipped makorra even if asami was a guy ( or if korra was a guy korrasami where korra was a guy would be generi pairing mc with a bland love interest with no screentime)

the idea that because there are tons of shows with the het ship becoming canon instead of the same sex ship becoming canon means we should okay korrasami since there arent any canon same sex ships in lok besides that or its the first etc is idiotic whats the most important is the characters themselves the writing ofthe story whether or not there is buildup whether the characters makes sense etc

a character or ship whose gay deserves criticism or love or support based on its own merits

there are plenty of lgbt people who say korrasami is forced

a same sex ship is just as viable to criticsim as a het ship thats equality

labelling anyone a homophobe/het lenses for saying otherwise makes a joke of the term

ikkinthekitsune . tumblr . com/post/108144330446/why-do-you-think-bryke-chose-mako-as-the-one-to#notes

Anonymous asked: Why do you think Bryke chose Mako as the one to accompany Korra to Zaheer's prison - which was arguably the most climatic scene in tying up her Book 4 character arc - instead of somebody else? For such an emotion heavy point in the story I feel that they had to have made some conscious thought on who would accompany her. It could have been Asami, or even Bolin. Do you believe that they saw something that Mako offered more to her arc than the others did? I'd love to hear your opinion!

Because Korra’s relationship with Mako is the only one she had that offered her the sort of support that she needed in that situation.

None of Korra’s other friends or mentors has as much trust and faith in Korra as Mako does. Asami’s support is a bit too insistent and she worries a bit too much for her to have done what Mako did and stepped back when Korra asked. Bolin is… Bolin. He’s good at cheering people up, but he’s not the one to rely on when humor isn’t called for. Even Tenzin couldn’t have taken Mako’s role, because he’d let Korra’s long recovery get to him.

Mako, in contrast, was able to let go when Korra needed him to do so. Korra needed to confront Zaheer on her own, and she needed to do so without having to talk her moral support down from coming in with her. Mako was the only one who could fill that role.

Anonymous asked: About Korra's letter to Asami and whether or not it's about Asami meaning more to Korra than anyone else: when I lost someone I cared about years ago, one of the first people I told about it was somebody who was a good friend but not one of my closest ones. This person had also lost someone and dealt with it strongly, especially for someone her age, and I knew she would understand without getting too gushy about it. It wasn't about who I "cared about more" and it definitely wasn't romantic!

Thank you for sharing your own experiences.

It makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it? If you’re dealing with something difficult and uncomfortable, talking to someone who understands (or seems likely to understand) the specific situation does a lot more good than talking to whoever you feel closest to and hoping they’ll respond in a way that actually helps.

Just because you’re closer to/romantically interested in someone doesn’t mean they’re going to be the one with all the answers. As such, the idea that going to one particular friend for answers about something very difficult implies closeness or romantic interest just… doesn’t really comport with reality. =/

ikkinthekitsune . tumblr . com/post/117466809661/about-korras-letter-to-asami-and-whether-or-not#notes

#legend of korra #the legend of korra #makorra #katara #anti korrasami #asami sato

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randomsevans · 4 years

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LATE LIES

Part 2

Steve Rogers x reader

Summary:you have recently decoved that your finance captain america is cheating on you. But there again you could be wrong. But what will happen when your not wrong ?. And your not the only one who has cort on to steve shaddy activitys .

AN : my grammar and spelling isn't the best so bare that in mind .

@nomadevans82

Breakfast was quickly over. No word . No affection. Shown by the man who was ment to love you, the man you are ment to marry , the man you suspect is cheating on you. But maybe your wrong , maybe your brain is just over thinking. This is captain america we are speaking about, man who said your his world , his love , he wouldnt do anything to hurt you , especially in such a way . Would he ?

He wouldnt or so you thought/knew.

'God why cant I think straight ' you mind was racing around and around , question after question , excuse after excuse for him .

Maybe your just overreacting, I mean my spy training doesn't mean I have to be right every time . Nobody else has notice his behalf? Right .but you have and you know him better then anyone . Or so you should. But your not the only one whose notice a change . Nat did , she look like she was about to skin him alive with her butter knife at the breakfast.

You mind racing , your fist rapidly punching the bag , never stop . The training room had blurred form your vision along with everyone in it . You can feel you blood boiling , tight knots in your stomach as you think about steve with sharon . Your temper going just above busting point . You didnt notice you went breathing. You didnt notice your eyes glowing, you didnt notice the punching bag flying off , with a swerling yellow sting glow around it . You just stare at it , forgetting all the people . Nobody would notice anyway , it's not unusual for this to happen , but what is , is the power running through your veins . The very thing , nobody knows, the thing you hide , the thing you run away from , thing you dont want people to know about you , hell you dont even know what it is exactly. You spend all you time hiding it . The minority of the time you cant feel it running though , you normally have hold over it . But when your emotions get to extreme (more like things you dont experience often ) such as a need to cry, or your anger , anxiety. It slips out and your cant control it. And it doesn't help you are feeling all these right now.

You final brought back form your blurred vision with a hand on your shoulder. If it was anyone else you'd push them off , but not this person. Youd no them any way . Ever since it first comforted you when you just a child, in place no child should be , in a situation no child should be , expecting things no child should ever .

You slowing turn your face toward him . Bucky .or james as you knew him as a child . Hes your comfort , the closest thing you got to w father in the red room . This you keep a secret form everyone else , no one apart from nat knows that you were in the red room with her and as she was training and falling in love with james . He acted as a father to , never letting you get near the same amount punishment as the other girls. So when you found he was still alive , when you found he was becoming sane minded again you couldn't be happy. You weirdly felt safe the world again . After you were told just after he managed for you to escape that the red room had killed him .

You have alot of secrets such as people dont know about the fact that the red room trained you , Bucky trained you , or the fact that you two have a father and daughter relationship . Nobody knows not even Steve, to everyone else sheild trained you, you were a good field agent and was giving the opportunity to become an averager under the request of Nat .But at least two people know them nat and buck , they raised you basically, they know you , they know your history. But theres one secret that nat doesn't even know, only james . And that's about your mutation. James found out about it the same time you did .

You were 11 years old , training with james in a dark cold room . The constenced shouting in russian and girls crying was getting to your head missing punishing and kicks , you head was fuzzy, everything was become to quick , to fast . You couldn't handle it , although you go thought it every day . You final get a burst of energy and it shoots thought your veins and bones , the bright yellow light swerling around, pushing James into the wall . He knew what it was , he had heard of mutation before and what happens when the red room find a girl who has one , they either dont last very long or are put into different facilities. He protected you , help you hide it . Still does today .

So when you turned around , you saw the panic on his face, he knew what had happend , he was the only person in the room that saw as always. And he knew something was wrong because you knew let it get the better of . He automatically pulled you into a hug hiding your face from the rest of the world in his chest . It would be so easy to cry , so easy. If you wernt so anger you were shacking .

"Your okay " "your safe " "I got you " " you can calm down " he constantly whispers until you did as you were told and calmed down . You glance up till you met his glaze . His eyes was swerling with fear and empathy for you . "Now you gonna tell me what's got you all worked up ?"he asked pulling the hair out of your face . You just shake you head negatively, he nodded in return , knowing you was going to answer him anytime soon .

"I might have an idea " nats voice stalled you . 'Did she see ?' You become anxious again you dont want anyone to know about you mutions .

"You've go quite the rage and strength, and rightfully to " at this you know she must think you just punched the bag down .

"What do you mean ? What happend ? Do u know what's wrong? NAT tell me ! " buck quietly shouted concerned, pulling away form you , facing nat with his armes crossed .

"Calm down papa wolf , I dont think nows the time , let's calm her down and get a drink in her first , I know she needs it " she glanced at you sympathetically, she knows about sharon and Steve.

"What ! Nat Its 11am the mo...." bucky was cut off by the annocument above.

"Party tonight people. Main floor see you there tonight. Peace out , Iron man ! " Tony said though the speakers .

"Great !" You said walking out of the training room , towards your room , knowing you'll stay there u till the party.

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Hours had passed and you haven't seen anyone all day , steve didnt come to check up on you like he normal did , you asked friday what he was doing every hour and your were denied access.

You and Nat hadn't spoke about what was playing on your mind , you just spent your day with a few early drinks and tv . It got to the time where it was time to get ready .you sat in that's room with a dress she picked out for you lying on her bed . You sat at the mirror finishing your simple make up nothing to extreme hust enough to add to your natural beauty.

You heard the bathroom door open , you turned to see that Nat was almost ready

"Come on kid , I know parties ain't really our thing but at least they'll be vodka "she joked .

"Thank god " you rolled your eyes and got up picking up your dress and heading towards the bathroom. You were just about to close the door when Nat sighed

"Y/n you .... I..... do you see what i see " she ask clearly neverous .

"About ?" You tried to act clueless but you knew what she was about to say

"About steve "

"..... " you stay silent for a while " can we not.. not right now .. we both could be wronge his the man I'm marrying, the man I love .... i dont want to think about it .... I... we might be wronge "

She scoffed at the thought but she nodded her head . And in you went into the bathroom to finish getting ready .

When you emerged out of the bathroom in your dark blue silk dress that hugged and was lose in all the right placed . With your hair curled and pinned half up and half down .

"Oh my .... you look gorgeous " Nat said with wide eyes . You felt it too as much as you ddint want to go to this party you felt great in this dress almost forgetting everything

"You look stunning as always " Nat just shrugged it off and grab your hand while heading our her door .

When you got into the hallway you and nat both stopped in your tracks.

"There you are ... iv been looking for you ... Tony and his parties eh " Steve laugh making you laugh too . This man put you into a trance everytime you saw him , he was in a dark blue shirt similar to your dress (not on purpose) . He looked as good as ever , you sighed with the biggest smile thinking this man is going to be your for ever soon . But then the voice started to creep back into your head ,instantly your small dropped to a frown

Steve took a step closer to you and kissed you on the check you let out a breath that you didnt know you was holding all day ,

'See everything normal we were just over reacting '

He smiled down at you "you look good " he said but he didnt even look at you the way be usual would , he didnt say what he usal would , it would be more then just good ...

"Good ? She looks stunning " Nat blurted out , you could tell she was staring at him like he was the target .

He just wrapped an arm losly around you , not tight like he normal would, he once said it was to keep you by his side and let everyone know your his . But not now . You felt so stuiped being in his arms .

"Let's go shall we "

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You had been at the party for not that long Steve was by your side laughing and joking with everyone around the group . Nat , Bucky and Tony all laughing and joking

Everyone would feel fine if it wasnt for Steve's eyes keep wondering off

You sighed , chucking down your drunk , thinking your the only one that noticed but you forget that you were next to the best assassins you have ever know .

"Hi everyone "

"Oh hi sharon " Tony said

Your eyes snapped to her stunned , everyone eyes fell on her as you all stood at the bar in a circle she had managed to get her way inbetween Tony and steve

" you look stunning " steve said looking her up and down with a smirk , your heart dropped

"You get good and she gets stunning!"

"Thank you " sharon whisper trying not to star at steve but failing as there both keep sharing glances at each other, as a blush creeped on her check .

The music was the only thing filling the silence for a while as Tony sipped on his drink clueless . With steve and Sharom basically eye fucking each other while unknowly to you two very very anger killing mansions were ready to be Roger's down . You just stood there tears threating to make an appearance.

"I'm... I'm just going to pop to the.. " you couldn't finish your sentence already making your way down the hall .

Nobody looked at you are asked if you were okay .

You made your way blindly down corridors in all different directions you didnt know where you ended up, all you knew was you were far way you didnt hear the music and you were safe alone . You let out a quiet sob that lead to a few tears escaping your tear duck as you fought them off . Ignoring the stinging feeling with the tight chest and pit in your stomach .

Some one pulled you into there arms you you could see was a few red strains of hair

"Sshhhhh "

"I dont know why I'm like this.... I might be wronge " you choked out

Nat just gave you a look like 'when are we ever wronge "

"Come lets go back " was all she said you nodded .

She rubbed your back as you made your way through the corridors . Before you turned a corner you heard a quiet bang followed by laughter and giggles . You and Nat quietly laught and slowly made your way to the corner.

You stopped dead in your tracks with nat behind you . You were barely visible as you were still hidden around the corner .you quickly took a step back , pushing Nat backwards , she looked confused but you both listen carefully.

All you could hear was short breaths with giggles and growls

"Stop that "you heard a high pitched giggle

"Hell no ! I wanted to get my hands on you all night "

"You would be able to if you didnt have her ..."

"Soon " The deep voice cut her off "soon I'll be all your okay "

Your heart drop you could help the tears roll down your cheek. As you saw and hear Steve with sharon , it hit you hard , it all become reality and you couldn't take it . Nat griped you tightly clearly trying to calm her anger .

There voice went away and nat looked around the corner

"There gone ..I'm going to kill him " she snapped

You sobs became louder and louder your whole body was shaking

"Why ? Why ? Why ? He said he loved me , said I was his world , I'm meant to be his wife soon why ? What did he mean by soon ? Was he going to leave you?

Your body was shaking as nat stepped back , unknowly to you everything around you was shaking to . You vision blur and lost all connection to world around you and your heart was literally tearing into piece making the unwanted power over come you .

"Uh no nooo no " was all you hear and Bucky ran his way towards you

"Calm down it okay " bucky slowly came near you as the shaking stopped. He quickly wrapped you in his arms

"Calm down !"

There was silence that felt like forever Nat with her anger towards Roger's and shocked by you . While Bucky was staying calm for you

"You going to tell me ? " he asked slowly.

You shook your head no

There both sighed

"Fine I will!" Nat snapped

"No .. no please dont" you begged.

"What ? What is it ? "Bucky asked getting impatient

"No .. don't say it...its not real until you say it " you hiccup on everyone word

"Please " you begged one last time

"Just tell me god damn it "

"Roger's is cheating with carter "nat barked over youf sobs

"What !"

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #steve rogers au #steve rodgers imagine #steve rodgers x reader #steve rogers #steve x reader

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planetjisungie · 4 years

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misconceptions- l.jn

characters; gryffindor! jeno, slytherin! reader ft, gryffindor! mark

an; im making mark debut in every house, its what that man deserves 😔✋🏻 also marks kinda a bitch in this but like we still love him. this is part 2 of the nct dream hogwarts series

jeno sat in the grand hall, watching you walk in alone. your hair was so silky, and you looked so delicate and soft. but that, apparently, was the complete opposite of who you were.

"bro i heard she like, hexed a bunch of first years and made them look stupid in the hallway. poor kids" mark uttered. the topic of conversation was conveniently you, and jeno was slightly confused about where this was all coming from. "and it’s definitely true?" he asked, turning to his blonde friend. mark shrugged. "its y/n, so i wouldnt put it past her. last year she got into a fist fight with kang miyoung"

mark was always gossiping, he knew all the rumours in the school, if you wanted to find anything out all you had to do was ask mark. he knew everything and it was sometimes scary. but it wasnt always true, like the time he spread the rumour that choi san had cheated on his girlfriend when it actually had turned out to be his sister. that was an awkward one. turning back to you, jeno tuned out the sound of mark droning on and on about the things you had apparently done. he watched you sit down away from the other slytherins, grab some pasta onto your plate before silently eating. he watched you drink your cup of water slowly, before going back to eating your food. he also saw how the other slytherins would glare at you, or point at you while laughing. something didnt add up. why would slytherins, known causing petty issues, mock someone who supposedly did just that? it really didnt make sense to him.

so the next day, jeno had heard crying down the hallways. being a gryffindor, he ran towards the sound, wand in hand in case anyone was in danger. what he wasn’t prepared to see, however, was a first year on the ground, holding his ankle while crying in pain. but that in itself wasnt shocking, what was, was you sat next to him, a gentle smile on your face while your wand had a green glow to it, seeingly calming the boy down. he had then noticed that you were using a pretty advanced healing spell, which was odd for a slytherin to know in the first place, especially someone like you. in fear of being caught staring, jeno just swiftly turned around, brows furrowed from the thoughts in his brain.

the next time jeno had seen you, he was playing hide and seek with the gryffindor boys in the forest. he was hiding behind a fallen tree, when he noticed a familiar head of hair, and the black and green robe flowing around you. getting up, he silently walked closer towards you, trying to see what you were doing. seeing a creature next to you, he squinted his eyes. you were knelt next to a unicorn, a large gash on its right side, your wand with the same green glow as when you were healing the first year. you seemed to be at peace here, just helping out. not noticing the small smile on his face, jeno turned and walked away before again, you could notice him.

the third time he had seen you, was not as pleasant as the last two. you were sat on the floor of an empty hallway, a white cat in your lap as silent tears fell down your face. jeno felt his heart break for you, he could practically feel the emotional pain radiating off of you. deciding to actually talk to you, jeno made his presence known, walking closer before sliding down the opposite wall to face you. looking up, your eyes widened noticing the infamous gryffindor heartthrob, the crush of all the younger girls. clearing your throat, you wiped your eyes of the tears, pulling your cat, mr snuggles (the return of mr snuggles) closer to you unknowingly. jeno flashed you a small smile, which you returned. clearing his throat, he moved his gaze from the oddly adorable sight of you cuddled up to a cat to the cold wooden floor. "im jeno" he introduced, causing you to scoff lightly. "im y/n, but you probably already know that" you said softly. surprised to actually hear your voice, it wasnt at all what jeno was expecting, causing his head to whip towards yours. he was expecting an arrogant, cold, high pitched bitchy voice, but was met with a quiet, gentle and melodic voice. by now he was almost certain that you had definitely been misunderstood.

"uh- okay wow i wasn’t expecting-" jenos rambling was cut off with your soft laughter, watching your head lean against the wall slightly and your eyes close, shoulders moving up and down in response to the sound coming from your chest. "i know i know, you were expecting me to be some cold, brutal and violent bitch, right?" you said, a smile now on your face which was a nice contrast to your earlier face of sadness and utter despair. "i mean kind of i guess" jeno shrugged and chuckled awkwardly. you let out a sigh before extending your legs from the crossed position, letting them stretch in front of you. "its fine, everyone just blindly believes any rumours that are spread. youre not at fault, the slytherins are" jeno looked up in confusion after you said this, evidently showing on his face, adding onto that the noise he lets out which couldnt be described other than ‘a jeno noise’. noticing his obvious inquiry, you layed back and closed your eyes.

"i dont exactly fit in with the slytherins. my focus has always been to help others, to share what i have to those who dont. the slytherins obviously didnt like that, and i quickly became a misfit, so they started spreading awful rumours about me. no one usually bothers to check if they’re true or not, so that resulted in me not having any friends" you sigh after explaining practically the whole reason of your mental torture at hogwarts to the gryffindor across from you. jeno once again felt his heart break, and a small pout formed on his lips. "how comes you were put in slytherin then?" he asked. you groaned and opened your eyes. "stupid slytherin parents. i didnt get sorted, they work for the ministry so i was basically forced into slytherin to carry on shitty family tradition bullshit" you snorted, head lolling onto your right shoulder. jenos eyebrows raised. so you were basically not a slytherin yet put in slytherin and people practically bullied you for it. sounds pretty tough to him. "and you couldnt speak to dumbledore about it? im sure hed do something" he said, now genuinely concerned about you. shrugging, you reopened your eyes. "i dont realy care anymore, let the people think what they want"

after that day, jeno watched you a lot more closely. he would see how your nose scrunched up when you saw something you didnt like, or when your tongue poked out when you were focused. he sat across the room from you in potions, so when slughorn announced that you two were going to be partners for the Amortentia potion, he couldnt exactly say he was disappointed. despite the obviously sympathetic looks from people around him, he smiled as you pulled the chair next to him, sitting down carefully.

the lesson began, and you and jeno quickly started working on making the potion, working together efficiently and getting it done to the T whilst also having a little bit of fun. leaning towards the pot, jeno moved at the same time as you to smell what was supposed to be the scent of your crush. immediately catching a strong whiff of jenos apparently overpowering cologne, you leaned back, coughing and covering your nose. "jeno, stop wearing so much cologne" you choked out, trying to inhale fresh air. meanwhile, jeno smelt the scent of lavender and cotton, turning to you in disgust, not at the smell itself but the pure strength of it. "unlike you, i dont douse my clothes in lavender essential oil, jesus christ woman" he lifted his hand whilst staring into the pinkish liquid. "i dont think we did this right" you said, before slughorn came up to you with a delighted look on his face. "oh well done, this is perfect!"

that day lead to a lot of confusion between you and jeno. opting not to ask him about it seeing as he never questioned you, you just sat in silence out on the grass, staring up at the stars. you had snuck out of the castle to sit on the land around it, seeking some sort of relaxation. what you hadn’t expected, was for the black haired boy to somehow find you, sitting down quietly on the grass next to you. "so..." he started, before sighing and looking down. he knew he liked you, how could he not? the way you were completely different to how you were said to be, how you didnt blame others but the slytherins for being mean towards you, and just how kind you were in general. whilst most people would veer away from you, he was the complete opposite, finding himself attracted to you like a magnet. smiling slightly, you turned to face him. just like him, you had found it hard not to fall for him. in the times where people would doubt you, or just be plain rude, he actually came and spoke to you. jeno was the first one who cared about you, and not just the rumours that drifted around, he talked to you when no one else would.

that night, you two had a whole sobbing session, confessing to eachother and apologising for things you didnt even need to apologise for. needless to say, when you walked into the hall hand in hand the next morning, with grins that hurt your cheeks, it definitely put people in a daze.

#nct hogwarts au #nct #nct dream #jeno #lee jeno #mark #mark lee #hogwarts #slytherin #gryffindor #jeno angsty fluff

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thoughtfulpaperback · 4 years

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Charmed 2x12 Review SPOILERS!!!!!!

Okay let's do this. Sorry I skipped one but times are hectic. For entertainment I give it an 8/10. Same format. Dislikes, likes and highlights

Dislikes

1. Macy Kneeling to Abby.

Let's just get this one out the way. I can see where they might have been going with this.

They maybe are trying to move away from the ambiguous route with abby (trying to make her sympathetic with her whole patriarchy thing and her dead mom) I mean she is progressively becoming more predatory with Harry so with that in mind, this was possibly one of the "abby is really a bad person not a feminist as she is only out for her own gain and not the empowerment of all women". And I can get that maybe they were also trying to show "look Macy is willing to do the most degrading thing possible just for the chance at rebuilding that power of three/charmed bond with her sisters for the protection of the magical community".

But listen.....

We all know Abigael isnt a star feminist. We already know (although we dont exactly know) that she has some sort of plan up her sleeve to be weary of.

There has been too much attempted ambiguity and the main characters letting her get away with terrible things that the message isnt coming across.

Plus Maybe yes showing Macy being willing to do something that really probably hurt all of us (epecially those of us who are minorities) to watch, may have been to drive home the differences between her and Macy and play up Macy's love for her sisters

But like we know Macy and Abby arent similar (as much as you writers tried to play that up at first). And you know just adding more sister bonding moment and just the fact that Macy was willing to go to abby after all the previous stuff was enough to show she was desperate? Maybe just add more sister bonding moments so we can see how dedicated they are to each other?

Maybe? Just saying.

If the writers are finally going to commit to Abby being a full on villian then I guess the seen was worth cementing that she is horrible (sort of).

Here's my question though as I consider whether the scene was worth it. Who is this show for and what is it trying to show? I mean if it is for minorities and women then i can see how showing these historical and current issues (conflict of power and consideration among women where race is concerned) then I guess showing it and having that controversy makes sense. But like we live it.

As minorities we already know. I know I struggle between wanting my experience shown and also wanting to watch something where for once the minority characters arent subjected to that experience. Charmed did better at addressing controversy and women's issues in season 1. I dont care if it was "obvious" or "heavy handed" because when it is not you basically get the kneeling scene where you dont know what the point was, if it was necessary, and are left feeling hurt or bitter about it.

2. Hacy Kiss.

Listen Brenda/on, this is on my like and dislike list. I will mention what I dislike about it.

The first thing is that it was a fantasy. I mean yes I like that we get full on confirmation that Macy has romantic feelings for Harry and not just considering that she might have them, but I honestly hate the fact that they would tease us like that. Especially when Macy is at a low moment. Which I will get into.

They are kinda ruining Macy for me. Listen, at this point they havent given us enough insight into Macys feelings or thoughts to understand why she isnt pursuing Harry. We can speculate and infer based on previous seasons and some of what the writers or showrunners say on twitter, but this season itself hasnt done much in showing Macy's thought process and so it falls flat. It isnt her reluctance to let people in or not wanting to get involved with someone after Galvin since she does pursue Julian and gets serious relatively quickly. She, at least now we it is confirmed, has those feelings for Harry, but is still choosing to be with someone else inspite of those feelings. I hate that. Harry is obviously tempted by abby and is being naive with her, but he isnt pursuing her and has blocked her advances (except the kiss) so far which may change who knows, but the point is if Macy was just casually dating and enjoying Julian's company I would be like okay, still hate that she would lead someone on when she has feeling for someone else, but if its casual there is less of a chance of the other person being hurt.

I cant get behind Julian x Macy, not because of Julian (who so far is perfect and probably going to be a villian or some how connected to the villians because it is a common trope) but because of Macy. Julian x Macy isnt Healthy because Macy knows she has feelings for someone else. She is using him. That isnt to say she doesnt genuinely like or care about him, but at the end of the day she is using him. Which is crappy because Julian so far seems like a great guy and doesnt deserve being the "distraction". I mentioned this all the time but my least favorite love triangles are the ones where one person is using the other.

Healthy would be Macy and Julian being friends while she works through her feelings and then decides who she wants to be with. Not being with someone while having feelings for someone else.

Macy was shown in season 1 to be rational and could be rational to the point of compartmentalizing and coming off as cold. So maybe that is where they are drawing from, but again little effort has been made on the part of the writers to show what's going on in her brain other than that fantasy kiss. And again I am still like....okay so what does that mean in the long run you butts!!!

3. Helen's suicude

I am so iffy about how shows portray people completing suicide. Like on one hand I get that them showing her exercising free will, but suicide portrayed as a positive rather than a tragedy is just....ugh for me. I still am not sure how I feel overall about it.

Lore wise I hate that they use it to explain why Harry and jimmy couldnt kill each other, because in an interview rupert claimed Harry was immortal now because of the elder thing and the show said it in that first episode. So like are both true? So if harry tries to stab himself like Helen will he just end up back in the coffin and alive since she is immortal?

I mean we are 12 episodes in and have about 10 to go so we really should be working towards a cohesive lore and storyline not adding confusing or not well explained layers. The world building they did in the first half was a lot better which makes me wonder what they heck is going on in the writing room.

Likes

1. Parkerita

Let me explain. While I fancy Jordan x Maggie together. I'd prefer that be a slow burn and steady friendship first. Parker seems to be Maggie's first love. It makes sense that she is still grieving and holding on. While I kind of wanted to be done with Parkerita in fairness to all the season 1 romances that where tossed out, I like the nod to Phole. I felt the OG Phole relationship was not healthy, but I liked the tradgedy of it. I think if new Charmed wants to wrestle with that and do it better (although my faith in the writers is low right now) then I wouldnt be against it. I love a good tradgedy and I sat through Phole so I'll sit through this one.

2.Hacy kiss

I love that the writers finally did something to show us what is going on in Macys brain. I need more (not necessarily Harry fantasies but I wont complain if we get more of those). I do hope a real Hacy kiss is a bit different because one one hand the fact Macy wanted to kiss harry when she was feeling down says something to me about how she feels about him and that she still trusts him (but it could, If I wanted to be cynical, just be more evidence that Macy skews towards using people when she is repressing or feeling down although she didnt actually kiss him, if she had I think I would have not liked it in that particular moment given it would have felt more like using him that expressing feelings)

Highlights

1. Abby really thinks no means maybe 😒 . . .

2. Mel is a lesbian magnet and I'd be fine with her just casually dating while all this other crap is going on as long as she is happy

2. Helen

3. These horror movie vibes though!!

#the cw charmed #charmed reboot #charmed cw #charmed #charmed 2018 #charmed 2018 spoilers #charmed spoilers #hacy #macy x harry #harry x macy #harry greenwood #macy vaughn #mel vera #maggie vera

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missjackil · 5 years

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My 14x10 Opinion

Nihilism 14x10

After that long stupid hiatus, I needed this episode!! Right away Ill tell you I enjoyed it thoroughly. Very few complaints and those are minor ones. Lets get them out of the way shall we?

The voice overs are TERRIBLE! Vamps and Werewolves never had huge teeth before so no need for them now, especially since the actors obviously cant talk with them in their mouth, so go back to smaller ones please! Cas’s was bad too, because he must have had his face stuffed with cotton to make it look swollen.

I love the tie ins and flash backs to old episodes, but the explaining them is annoying. Cas didnt need to tell Sam that Pamala was blinded by his true form, Sam didnt need to remind Cas that Pamala is dead either. Sure its been 10 years so it doesnt hurt to remind viewers, but a brief flashback is enough. I know the writer may feel the need to recap everything bring brought back from the past just in case, but just lessen them is all, or make them relevant, like Cas telling someone who doesnt know how Pamala was blinded would have worked better.

The episode could have used more Sam, but Ill say that for every episode so... thats just a gimme. His parts were great so Im not gonna whine about it. Now lets move on with the show!

I think the beginning was great at Rocky’s bar! I loved the squirrel holding the beer bottle, and the moose head. (Rocky and Bullwinkle) we get a shout out to Crowley and a sublte broment in the first 10 seconds :) Pamala looks fantastic!! She had to be coming up on 40 when we saw her 10 yrs ago, so whatever shes doing, shes doing it right! I do like to see old characters come back in dreams and such, more than them literally coming back to life for the most part. Some characters Im glad came back, some not so much, and maybe a few I hope will still come back.

I loved the shout out to FBBC, and I saw a bunch of you whine about it, hating on it and saying its tacky... I dont know why so many of you hate J2 have businesses outside of the show, it means theyre trying to be smart with their money and have things they can pass down to their kids. I am SURE not a single one of you complained about the shout outs to Jared and Jensens TV/movie projects in the early seasons, so you all just look unnecessarily bitter now :P

Moving forward, the scene in the office with Michael was a bit chaotic but its ok, a mood was being set. I loved that Sam thought to call Jessica the Reaper, and I also think its cool only he and Michael could see her. I didnt know that was the case. So he got Violet instead, and it was funny that she said they need to have shifts now because they mess things up a LOT. I always found it endearing that my big bad heros save the world and break the world in the process. Its the whole “one step forward 2 steps back” trope, and I think it keeps them sympathetic, humble, and human.

I loved “Put Michael in the trunk of the Impala” “Garth is in the trunk” “Its a big trunk” LOL Im glad they remembered Garth is in the trunk, and that was a fun exchange. Lets ffwd to the meat. I knew there would be a time when Michael would expose whats it Dean’s head. What he thinks about the others and though I know he wasnt telling the whole truth, I believe they all started with an ounce of truth. He told Jack that Dean doesnt love, him, he doesnt hate him, he just really doesnt care. Hes not Sam or Cas, he’s a burden he never asked for. Im sure Dean actually does care about Jack, but its probably true that deep inside he feels like a burden.

Michael really told Cas huh? The only reason Dean keeps him around is because he “raised him from perdition..... or whatever” (great Cas impression btw hehe) and though I know Dean cares about Cas, Ive always felt like he and Sam kept taking him back because he rescued both of them from Hell.

Now we have Sam, and this is most important. I know Dean wasnt happy when Sam left hunting, but hes always felt like Sam would eventually leave him anyway. That right there, proves who he actually loves in this whole little family. He can live without Cas or Jack, even if he would be sad without them, but he just cant fathom being without Sam. I also believe that deep inside Dean just wants to die. I feel this is true for both Sam and Dean, thats why they’ll martyr themselves so easily, because both of them just want this all to be over.

Now, I totally love when Sam and Cas were sifting through Deans memories that Sam was smart enough to figure Mike would keep him content so he wouldnt fight back, and, that when they listened to his good memories, most of what I could hear were good moments with Sam, and also Sam knew right away which one wasnt a memory. No one knows Dean better than Sam :) So Sam pushes Mike into the walk-in fridge and Dean locks him in. Go Team SWDW!! But the story isnt over. Billie shows up and tells Dean all the books have changed and now they all say that Michael breaks through and uses Dean to burn down the universe..... all but one (dun dun dunnnnnn) So Im betting the only other option is either a) Dean has to kill himself or b) Sam has to kill him. Either works for the scenario, but the scenes from next week looks kinda like Dean is gonna try to kill himself. Need I say this hug that he gives Sam, that makes Sam concerned enough to tell mom about it, has my little wincest feels all tingly! It looks like a stealthy, from behind hug Sam isnt expecting, and ALMOST looks like Dean may kiss his head? (OH MY CHUCK ID DIE!!) I can imagine that Dean feels bad about what Mike said about everyone, and also if he plans to kill himself, he might want to tell Sam he loves him. (maybe even vocally?? ) in any sense, it looks wonderfully different!

All in all I really liked this episode, it was suspenseful and kept me interested. Some interesting revelations and twists, I think they did 1000 times better than last seasons return,

On a scale of Bloodlines to Who We Are Im gonna give this one a strong 8. A little more Sam would have pushed it to a 9 :) So looking fwd to next week!

#14x10 spoilers #my opinion #nihilism spoilers

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thetruthisnow-blog1 · 6 years

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Tickling fake and real

Fake but real Warning: deep This is a long post / story and probably a serious one in a way, however I'll try to keep it as entertaining as possible. I just want to see what people think of this and these places are probably going to be the only response I will get from people who at least halfway understand me. I am a male in my 20s and I have had this fetish as far back as I can remember. To be honest with you it completely dominates my fantasies, its the only thing I've ever been aroused by. I've always had an obsession with tickling before it was even possible for me to find it sexual, I remember there was one cartoon that I used to play over and over again because it had a tickle scene in it, and that was one of my earliest memories, so obviously somthing in my mind was always attached to it. I am not ashamed of this fetish in fact I feel somewhat bad for people who don't have it because they don't know what they're missing IMO. However it has its dark side. When I was young and even in a way kind of now, I dispised the feeling of being a lee. Don't get me wrong it still arouses me tbh somtimes even more than lering but it can be extremely unpleasant at the same time and even as involuntary as the laugh response itself. Even though this may make me sound pathetic, it hurt me somehow internally, in my mind when this happened to me when I was young. (I have been mugged in my life to the point I had to go to the hospital , I have been through hard withdrawals, sure I'm not the biggest victim in the world but the point I'm trying to make is that I'm not a complete pussy either) I've been through my share of pain but that particular feeling stuck with me. Either way eventually I discovered tickle porn and not long after that I figured out how to masturbate. It was the best feeling in my life. It was literally like the gates of heaven opening. The first video I remember was just of a random woman loling while her feet were tickled. I remember it felt so good I did it again straight away. That day I changed internally it was like a lot of bad feelings just went away. Not all bad feelings but a lot of them. I only ever had one relationship andonly had one nights with two other females. All of that happened in the space of one year and it wasn't until years after I'd already discovered tickle videos. I tickled a few times during my relationship (she did to me as well) it didn't bother me though cos she was ticklish / acted as if she was if i tickled back and that made me feel ok. At the time though I didn't really fully understand women like I think I do today, and I've not been with a female since I I figured them out. Not because I dont like them, but because my life has become far to busy ATM to be dealing with men or women that I dont have to deal with. But my whole life I still had this feeling that there was something about women that didn't make sense. I had somthing of an inner feeling of paranoia and fear directed at women. I always had this feeling from an early age that the ticklish reaction from women was fake. The idea was not somthing I liked the thought of, my dream of being in a relationship had been being with a Lee. The idea of a woman faking or not being ticklish made me feel insecure because that means that she doesnt share my weaknesses and therefore wouldn't understand me. This depressed me at an early age when I thought these things because it made it seem like there is nothing to aim for in life, which is a pretty cynical view. It is just such a weird feeling and as far as I'm concerned its true. When I was in college I learned about eye movements and lying. You can tell if someone is lying by their eye movements. I decided to put this to the test with that question hoping that I could shake the feeling but it turns out that women really are faking being ticklish. Whenever I saw a female answer the question "are you ticklish?" if she answered yes her eyes would go in the lying direction and the truth direction if she said no. I think I noticed it by accident at first but I kept digging deeper until I was checking videos online of females answering that question. The eye movement always match up, too many times for it to be a coincidence. So after a long time it all starts making more and less sense at the same time. In a way this knowledge confirmed my fears but at the same time it evaporated them. It's like a huge weight off your shoulders to figure out the thing that your brain has been subconsciously saying your entire life but your conscious brain doesn't want to believe it at least not without proof. Then like I said I got proof. The truth is in the eyes and I found it. As much as this launched a string of depression in my life when I realised it, it ended eventually, and now even though women are not allperfect and a lot of them can do bad things as can a lot of men, I have to at least say that some of them I have developed a sense of empathy for and even respect, which some of them deserve in my opinion, because the fact that they're willing to laugh is in my opinion a sign that they've devolped respect or at least empathy for men. There is a difference between men and women when it comes to this fetish because women are by default of nature the natural dominants when it comes to this activity, however some of them have proven they have empathy and risen above it. Even though they cannot feel the mans pain when it comes to this, some of them still laugh, meaning that every time I have ever watched a mf or ff video, every time that a woman has lold at my touch in the past, it has been of her own will. Even if they do it for self gain a lot of the time e.g. money (in videos) it's still nice to know in my opinion that some of them are decent enough to actually be willing to be submissive and pretend to be ticklish even though they're not (I still respect / empathize with them and appreciate them if they do it for money, its fair exchange and they deserve money for laughing while being tickled on video, it still requires effort for them to take time out of their day to do it). I can't imagine how empty my life would have been if I'd never had the good times with tickle porn. I'd be a far more miserable person today if it wasn't for porn. At the same time I feel that women need to take value in the fact that this activity is somthing that requires exra sympathy for men, and personally I think i could tolerate being a Lee as long as I also get to ler when it's my turn even though I know its fake, it still feels good in my mind. In a way it makes it better , because it's like telling reality to go fuck itself. My fantasy was to be with a woman that shares my ticklishness, god has made women not ticklish, but some women still let me live out my fantasy by playing Lee / loling by choice and giving me the feeling of being a ler. In one way, when you get this knowledge you realize that no women are lees, but at the same time you realize that all women are lees, if you get what I'm saying, any of them can be a Lee if they want to be, they can consciously decide to be a lee. To the women out there that act in these videos, I am extremely greatful for these in ways I cannot possibly explain. I dont even think all men are ticklish, or at least some of them are barely ticklish, but I know from what I've figured out using science and even just the feeling in my head, that women are not ticklish without deliberarley laughing on a whole. This may seem depressing at first but the more you think about it the more you realize how much a female Lee is a person that doesn't really get credit for how cool she is. If it wasn't for these women, I'd have never seen a woman be ticklish in my entire life, but because of porn I've seen it no end of times. But not just because of porn , also because of the surprising good nature of what appears to be a lot of women. At the same time I feel its somewhat unfair that tickling isn't really addressed as potentially abusive a lot of the time and also it seems weird to me that why has a scientist not figured this out yet? This is Somthing that is unique to men with and its not even common knowledge that its only men that go through it. Even though I'm extremely greatful for all of the women lees (and when I say Lee I dont mean a woman that neccisarily acts ticklish all of the time, even if its just one time it still counts) I think that women still need to be sympathetic to some degree with men when it comes to tickling because they really dont know how bad it can be. If you're going to tickle a man I dont think its much to ask just to laugh if he tickles you back. It doesn't even matter if he knows you're laughing deliberately, if anything he'll just appreciate you more. Personally I think I'm done with relationships even though my experiences with women in the past have mostly not been negative, I'm just happy with porn and women dont throw themselves at me anyway and I CBA to out of my way to try to impress them. When it comes to the fake thing, yes women's ticklish reaction is fake, but that is what makes women so awesome, cos if it wasn't for them I wouldnt have all the good memories and experiences I've had of being a ler or watching porn with women tickling each other (f/f is always the best IMO) I dont know how many men or even women are aware of this I just find it strange that its not common knowledge? If you are a female reading this that is a lee, my message to you as a man is I really appreciate that there are women out their like you, but please take some sympathy in the fact that some men can find being tickled unpleasant and unless youve experienced being truly ticklish, then you really have no idea how bad it can be. if you lol if he tickles you back if you've already tickled him I think that stops most or all of the bad feelings at least for me. Anyone else had any similar experiences? I hope this helps anyone that is cofused about reality like I used to be. Peace.

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macchiahoe · 6 years

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uhhhh

So I guess before I start on my rant I’m just gonna give y’all some reading questions to think about (and seriously let me know how you feel because idk how to interpret this situation) and those are 1) am i being emotionally manipulative in this context?? 2)....any other concerns you have or want to point out. Ok. So with those questions in mind, I’m going to explain my day today. For any of you guys reading, I would assume that you’ve probably read my previous personal posts, but if you have not, I’ll give a brief background. Broke up with my ex in January. She’s already moved on in less than a month. For this topic specifically, we both are involved in GSA (since she’s a lesbian, and im a queer trans man). I’ve been wanting to get involved in GSA again, since I wasn’t really interested when I was dating my ex, and I also need something to occupy my time now, and I need socialization because talking to people online and through text can only do so much. However, my ex, also wants to get involved in GSA again as well. Which is absolutely fine!! Her partner is also involved in GSA, so that gives her a motive to go as much as she can. However, I feel unbearably anxious when I see my ex and her partner, so I don’t really want to go to GSA if I know that I’ll see them there. And I don’t want to make them feel as if they can’t go there but heres where “the twist” comes in I’ve talked to my ex before about creating a compromise. I mentioned to her that I want to also be involved in this club, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable with her there. I brought up that in general, I think it would be in our best interests if we could both go to the club and not have to see each other, which is why I proposed the idea of us alternating which weeks we go. It sucks, because both of us want to go as much as we can, but I just want to feel safe whenever I go there and not feel as if I’m going to throw up just because I see my ex. Alternatively, my ex and her partner have a lot of negative feelings about me, and they should be able to enjoy their time there, and I’ve tried to express this to my ex. This comes into the conversation that I’ve had today with my ex. I really wanted to go to the meeting last night, because it was discourse night and I love hearing that good ol tea. I didn’t go however, because I told my ex that I wouldn’t, and I respected the compromise that I thought we had agreed upon. So I went to the gym instead, and did something else productive with my time. Early today I sent her a message hoping that she had a good time, and if it was alright if I went to the next meeting. She said that yes, it was ok if I went, and then didn’t respond for a while. I mentioned that perhaps her and her partner can do something exciting since it’s valentines day, and since i thought we had agreed on the compromise, that would mean that they werent going. However, she said that their plans were for the day were to go to that meeting. I was taken aback, because I thought we had already established our compromise and that would mean that I could not feel anxious about going next week. Thiissss is where things went south fast. I brought up the fact that we had made a compromise and my ex said that we had only thought about it. Perhaps we had. But I brought up the fact that we couldn’t even manage to walk past each other or have a kind textual conversation, so what would happen if we were in the same physical space as each other? I asked her if we could just keep the compromise we talked about because I want to be a part of this club and not feel anxious (anymore than I have to bc social anxiety) while im there. And because of this, she felt like I was trying to disconnect her from her friends already in that room and the club in general. She mentioned how we wouldn’t even have to talk to each other, which I would do if she was there anyways, but she kept dismissing the main fact that I dont want her there because I feel extremely anxious and we’re both not ready to see each other anymore than we can help it....so why not help it??? I mentioned that I felt like she kept on dismissing my feelings about the problem. I said that perhaps I was being lowkey manipulative and she said, “if you know you are then why don’t you stop doing it?” and I wasn’t intentionally trying to be rude by trying to prioritize my feelings in this relationship for once but i guess i had! I mentioned that one of the ways for me to move on was to actually get involved in other things such as clubs, and it would mean a lot to me if i could go to this club, even if every other week. I raised the question if she would actually want to see me at this club, since she was deadset on going whenever she wanted. She said that she would be fine with it, since she has emotional support, and then asked for my feelings. I gave my feelings since she asked for them, and said that I would much rather not see her, because I don’t have any emotional support and I don’t have anyone there to rely on if things go south for me, whereas she can turn to her partner, or her close friends there. She didn’t respond to those remarks for a long time. I guess making her realize that she has way more support than me made her feel like i was being manipulative when i was really just asking her to try to consider how i felt? because my ex has been my main source of support for two years and i really really really really dont want to talk to her more than i have to but i can’t turn to other people unless i actually can make friends, and i can only personally do that in an environment that im comfortable, this my given case, one that happens to be ex free. I told her that I apologize for being defensive, coming across as nonempathetic, and trying to isolate her from this space. I acknowledged her feelings of anger, tiredness, bitterness, her lack of sympathy, and a bunch of other things I could tell she was feeling. I simply asked if she could acknowledge my feelings as well, because despite trying to explain my stance repeatedly, she continually turned me down, and made rude remarks about me. My ex said that she was trying to be sympathetic, but she doesn’t know how to make the overall situation better. I again, brought up the idea of the compromise that we had discussed so. many. times. before. I asked if she had another potential solution, since she had been so distasteful towards it. She said that she didn’t know how we could both be involved in the same club, if we couldn’t be there at the same time and I just...brought up the compromise because while we will both be involved less often, which sucks for both of us, because i know we would all prefer to go weekly, it allows for us not to have to worry about each other in the space and to just be comfortable for that week. I tried giving advice that they could do alternative events on their off nights, such as spending their time together doing something else (like a date night or something), or spend time with their other friends to try to distract them from the fact that they’re missing out on something, by filling their time with something else. My ex said that she already decided that she and her partner wouldnt go next week, so she was annoyed that I kept pressing the issue. I apologized and mentioned that I was sincerely just trying to give some advice. I feel like the way I worded a lot of my phrases was lowkey manipulative, but my ex didn’t take a lot of what i was saying into account as well so...?? Was I being irrational for trying to create some kind of compromise between us? I mean....it’s a compromise, its not what either of us ideally want, but it’s what is fair for both of us. Did I emotionally force my ex (and potentially her partner) out of a space she should feel safe in? I feel like I was just trying to be rational and explain my feelings and motives, but my ex wasn’t being cooperative throughout the process, and continually dismissed my feelings. SIGH

#long post #like really long #personal #relationships

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