#i say this but I love how different all of the statements are with the new format

[welcometololaland]

almost uploaded a picture of my bank statement instead of this header! happy days!

thanks for the tags @hippolotamus @kiwiana-writes @happiness-of-the-pursuit @rmd-writes

@nancygillianmvp @terramous @tellmegoodbye @freneticfloetry @beautifulhigh

@orchidscript @myheartalivewrites and @strandnreyes (don't think that was a real tag but i'm taking it anyway to force you to love me).

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

49 (last time it was 46 but i feel like that isn't enough of a difference? disappointed in myself dfhskjh)

2. What's your Ao3 bodycount word count?

1,119,086 which does include some co-writes, but I also have around 200k of unposted WIP in my google docs so i'm counting it (including a fully written fic - someone put their hands around my neck and force me to edit it PLEASE).

3. Which fandoms do you write for?

red white and royal blue, 911 lone star, top gun maverick (flirting with winter's orbit always)

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

the order of these has changed but not the identity:

Speak for Yourself (RWRB) (you know when eminem said he'd never be able to top My Name Is? this is my version of that)

Fifty First Dates (RWRB) (oodie agenda reigns supreme)

The RIng-In (Lone Star) (otherwise, lone star is in danger of being eviscerated from this top 5 lmao)

(Not) A Cinderella Story (RWRB) (NDAs are hot, apparently)

Cursed is a State of Mind (RWRB) (cursed caffeine is the main drawcard let's not lie)

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try my absolute best to. i am currently really behind and i apologise for that (the problem is, i reply to comments before i post anything and i haven't posted anything in ages).

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

serious answer - Contaminated

my answer - oh baby i'm a fool for you because we never find out if they actually watch twilight and that's a damn shame

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

literally everything else - i don't really do open endings or sad endings! in the words of the great philosopher, skepta: "nah, that's not me."

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i used to, but i haven't in ages! thank god for that.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes, although i have to say i've been moving away from pwp lately. i feel my best smut is written into longer fics where the sex serves a plot or characterisation purpose within the frame of the overarching narrative.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

yes, a RWRB/LS but i never finished it. ALTA is a veronica mars inspired tarlos fic which kind of feels like a crossover at times.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge :)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! Phonography (Lone Star) has been translated, as has Baby, Make Your Move (Lone Star) and Warm Whispers (Lone Star). I'm very grateful to the incredible people who have made these translations happen - you are so talented.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

yes, many with @dustratcentral. I also wrote a chapter of a co-written fic with a whole bunch of incredible RWRB authors called never the same twice.

@rmd-writes and I have created (Un)Professional Services and (upcoming) Call Me (By Your Name).

The Rainbow Fish was co-written with @strandnreyes.

I love co-writing so much and I am always open to anyone who wants to give it a go!

14. What's your all time favourite ship?

me + my unposted wips.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

probably the aforementioned crossover which was apparently also my answer last time.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i'm allergic to giving myself compliments but i would say maybe dialogue/banter and worldbuilding.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

keeping things short. also, exposition.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

kinda scared to because i don't speak any other languages and i'm so hesitant to annoy my very talented multi-lingual friends with my annoying questions.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

we don't talk about that.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

probably still Love Game because the experience was just so amazing and i never wanted to stop writing it.

heaps of people have already done this so leaving an open tag and also a couple of suggestions under the cut but apologies if you've already participated or been tagged 7 million times:

@bonheur-cafe @theghostofashton @thebumblecee @indomitable-love @eclectic-sassycoweyes

@tailoredshirt @vineofroses @liminalmemories21 @mikibwrites @birdclowns

@ladytessa74 @basilsunrise @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @rosedavid @sanjuwrites

@alrightbuckaroo @three-drink-amy @marjansmarwani @dumbpeachjuice @doublel27

@lemonlyman-dotcom @blueink3 @ambiguouspenny @clottedcreamfudge @emmalostinwonderland

@sail-not-drift @inexplicablymine @celeritas2997 @cricketnationrise @reyesstrand

@goodways @carlos-in-glasses @heartstringsduet @sunshinestrand @sherryvalli

#20 questions #20 questions for fic writers #911 lone star #rwrb #tarlos #fic games #welcometololaland

[lunacias]

001: first shift

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #samama khalid #gwen bouchard #alice dyer #rusty quill #tmp #magpod #gwendolyn bouchard #wanted to draw something small for each episode but here I am finishing one (1) like. 10 episodes in #my headcanon is that lena is a lot stricter re: dress code but in general #gwen usually dresses in neutrals/grays #sam is New Here so he at least tries for the business casual look of button up #and alice gets away with more loud outfits bc look it's a sweater vest are you saying that's NOT professional *thinking emoji face* #rip statement of [name] statement begins format you will be missed #wait imagine we get a statement in one ep that has that format with no comment #i say this but I love how different all of the statements are with the new format

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm sorry I let down my guard.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #xue yang #xiao xingchen #God DAMN this scene was brutal. Season 2 episode 2 is almost nothing but misery and anguish #Helena by Nickle Creek does not quite fit the comic's vibe but it is absolutely a Xue Yang song so I linked it. #The change from “Helena don't walk away...(gentle)” to “HELENA. DON'T WALK AWAY (threat)” is fantastic. #And “Don't waste your pretty sympathy - I'll always be just fine”. Xue Yang core. #Okay now for the real meat. Disclaimer first: *I really like XY.* I think he's a great character. I think his actions consistently- #come from a place of deep trauma. While his reactions and actions put him in a villainous role he is still human about his hurt #and what I'm about to say is NOT intended to be a statement of causality or villianize a group of misunderstood people. #So with that said...Man oh man does Xue Yang have a lot of BPD traits. More that just 'character who is chronically manipulative'. #The impulsivity and emotional reactions and seeking stability makes him feel like he needs that control. What other choice is there? #The part that really gets me is how he *wants* to be safe and happy. But his past experiences tell him how thats impossible #He's the kind of person who goes 'if you don't like me then you better hate me for something substantial". All (pos) or All (neg) #''Love me entirely or Hate me. But don't you dare leave me or forget about me.'' #Not at all comfortable saying 'BPD coded'. Im not a psychiatrist. Just that he has TRAITS. Feel free to disagree or add your thoughts. #ppl with bpd also are not a monolith and everyone has very different experiences. Xue yang is very complex. People more so.

[youngyoo-apologist]

OG Choi Han they could never make me hate you cause if some random rich boy was yelling at me and telling me my family deserved to die like a day after it happened and all I wanted was to know how I could get help I’d beat him up too

This plus the added fact that the Harris Village people were the first people to take Choi Han in and take care of him after years and years in the dark forest. Like he’s obviously not going to be mentally stable after all that, and he was so young when everything happened to him like I cannot blame him at all. I don’t think I can ever hate OG Choi Han like ever, he’s flawed, he has problems, but I love him dearly. He deserves the world. This kid who had to fight for his life, was taken away from his family, and in the process had to give up parts of his own humanity to survive, and like went to war two years later, they could never make me hate u OG Choi Han…

Like yeah violence is bad I guess but OG Cale had it coming(saying this as an OG Cale fan, I love him, but he was mean as hell when he was younger!)

If I’m honest, I think they were both in the wrong to an extent. Like OG Cale shouldn’t have said all that no matter the circumstances, and OG Choi Han shouldn’t have beaten him up so much. But u say mean shit and you get hit, that is how it will work when you’re talking to the guy who just saw his entire village get murdered like idkkkk man

I understand where OG Cale was coming from, but he had many issues and while he wasn’t an awful person, he was capable of doing bad things because of his own internalized pain and emotions that he never got to properly process because of his emotionally distant childhood and relationship with his father who should have been there for him more when he was younger.

Okay speaking of his childhood, Deruth isn’t the WORST father in the world but there are a lot of things he could have done better. I think a lot of Deruth’s flaws come from his fear of failure and messing up. He’s scared of doing the wrong thing, and so he sticks to doing what he knows and using what he knows best. That’s why he uses his money, that’s why gift giving is his way of showing affection, he knows that it is one thing he cannot mess up.

The problem is that money and gifts is NOT what OG Cale needed. I think what that guy needed the most was a parent who wasn’t afraid to talk to him, to ask him questions. Not to say that Deruth gave up on OG Cale, but I think in a way he gave up on OG Cale by giving up on himself. Deruth didn’t trust himself to have the capabilities to talk to OG Cale, which is why he never did. It’s because that Deruth was scared, and didn’t trust himself, that he could never face OG Cale

If Deruth was able to trust himself a little more, and pull himself together, I don’t think OG Cale would have turned out the way he did. As a kid, he probably thought the only way he could help his family without relying on anyone(no doubt this whole ‘I have to do it myself’ thing came from the fact that he couldn’t rely on his father when his mom died, and instead was acting as a pillar of support for his father when it should have been the other way around) was to sabotage himself, the only heir. If he was shown to be unfit to be heir, then everyone else would have no choice but to direct their hatred towards him instead of his family.

If Deruth had talked to his son at least ONCE when he was a kid, asking him why he was upset or why he did the things he did, I think OG Cale would have told him. Why? Because he’s a kid!! A kid will obviously want to rely on his father, if he just had one sign telling him that he didn’t have to do it alone I’m 90% sure OG Cale would have said something.

Basically, while Deruth isn’t the worst father, he’s not really a great father either. I think he does do his best, but he has issues with communication lol

OG Cale and OG Choi Han are both complex characters and had their own reasons to behave the way they did. The thing is with people is that they’re complicated and have layers, so the situation with them would have layers behind it as well with multiple co-existing truths and stuff

#guys I’m a big fan of Choi Han #and I get sad when people bring up this scene and all the blame is on him #like okay he was wrong but if YOU saw your entire family dead and some random rich boy started yelling abt how their lives were worthless #you’d be mad too no? #like his feelinsg were totally justified cause OG Cale was REALLY mean in that scene #‘their lives are worth less than the bottle in my hand’ OHHHHH OKAY OG CALE THATS ENOUGH THATS ENOUGHHHH #I love OG Cale but u have to admit he wasn’t very nice when he was younger #like the statements ‘he had his reasons’ ‘being trash was an act’ ‘he wasn’t a bad person’ ‘but he did say bad things’ can co exist #yes being trash was an act but he is ALSO capable of saying mean things and things that are wrong #LIKE TELLING THE GUY WHO JUST GOT HIS FAMILY MURDERED THAT THEIR LIVES WERE WORTHLESS #HE WAS NOT INNOCENT FOR THAT #Younger OG Cale is not a black and white character #and neither is older OG Cale but this post isn’t abt him #okay I’m gonna bring up someone who isn’t from TCF #but take Eunyung Baek from no home as an example okay #eunyung did bad things and was a bad person because of his childhood right #the reasons to being a bad person do not take away the bad things he did #but just cause he did bad things and was capable of them did not mean he could not change #I love OG Cale a LOT and I just think that his character has a lot behind it #Older OG Cale is obviously very different from his younger self #years and years of war and tragedy have matured him and like he’s not the same person he was anymore #okay back to Choi Han I love that guy I will defend him with my life #beating up people is wrong yeah but with the circumstances I’d say OG Cale had it coming #like okay it would be different if it was unprovoked but it was very much provoked #I swear I love OG Cale I just think he was very wrong for that #not to say he can’t change or isn’t capable of change he definitely is #idk I guess my point is that OG Cale was wrong but he changed as a person #and OG Choi Han was wrong for beating him up so much but it wasn’t unjustifiable #tcf #lcf

[starlooove]

You guys think Duke and Damian would be insecure about wearing skirts and dresses and ur wrong

#they don’t even see it as a big deal or statement it’s just something they do #Kon also! but this ain’t abt him #not that seeing it as a big deal or statement is bad btw it’s quite the opposite imo #but like I think Duke was a cosplay kid and the transition from wearing dresses for the cosplay to just doing it irl was seamless #and I don’t think Damian has any shame in his femininity in general #Damian appreciates Duke bc even tho he loves the support he gets from his other family members it feels a bit like coddling sometimes #Duke is not afraid to say Damian’s skirt is ugly #it’s not discouraging him dick it’s prompting him to make better choices 🙄🙄🙄 #btw you don’t understand how much Duke and Damian rag on eachothers clothes #like I stand by fashion icon Duke but we all make mistakes and Damian is very happy to point them on #damian will never be angrier that dramatic eye looks fell outta style btw #what is with this soft glam shit?? the POINT is to look different if he wants to look like himself he just won’t wear makeup 🙄 #Duke wants to strangle him

[beldaroot]

blue period: chapter 63 - summer vacation part 9

#blue period #blue period chapter 63 spoilers #bp #since wha's newest chapter wasn't on kmanga i found out bp was and got all caught up and omg.... yamaguchi does it again!!! #this latest arc i was trying to figure out what she wanted to say and this chapter really brought it all together #whenever yatora gets an epiphany it's always gonna be a bombass page loooool #these panels are such simple and obvious statements but i'm just floored by how wonderfully sensei lets characters process grief #ofc yakumo's 'baggage' is going to be huge just like everything he does with his big personality and big canvases #and it's going to be different from momo and hacchan and for yatora who's only seen it from an outside perspective #but that doesn't mean those emotions (even if they are nameless) shouldn't be shown and tapped into if they can help with coping!! #there's honestly so much more i can say but i love how they're all at different stages of grief and trying to navigate and be selfish w it!

[meatmensch]

The people that have abandoned me really need to stop talking to me like they have any right to tell me what to do, or I swear to God, I'm gonna get the FUCKING hammer.

#inspired by my bitch of a mother sending me a text that basically said u need to get ur life together #as i always say! LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE! #this woman's life is a dumpster fire #and she specifically said 'i won't financially support u. i'll always be there for u but that's a conditional statement' #which is INSANE because that don't make no sense AND she has NEVER financially supported me? genuinely why does she think she has any #fucking right...😭😭😭 #meanwhile. my dad. during the shitstorm that has been my family's existence lately. is being way more lax about me getting a job and moving #out than he has been in the past. because some fucks despite being shitheads aren't total assholes #this post is also inspired by my insufferable sister who fucked off to another fucking continent when i was 7 and treats me...well. exactly #how u would expect an upper middle class dumb jock to treat her awesome nerd little brother. and is always telling me i'm making #the wrong fucking decisions and judging me. #these ppl r so funny bc they think this is normal and that i will endure it bc the power of love or what the fuck ever. wrong! i have been #on the brink of cutting off my entire family since i was fourteen. now that i actually have the power to do some cutting off i'll be honest #i feel pretty great #it is all of course a horrible nightmare and i wish things were different etc etc etc. but in the words of supernatural. i was always going #to end up here. #while i am thinking about such things what's my other sister's deal? she has not reached out to me for years. it was like i turned 18 and #she was like ok who cares abt this dude now #which was incredibly bizarre and makes me feel like a stupid idiot who did something wrong but i know i didn't. and she was always the most #supportive of my siblings. i don't know what her problem is #in her defense her life has been weird lately. but 'lately' has lasted long enough that it's just her life now. and whenever i try to be th #one to reach out she basically gives me...nothing. #while i am thinking about such things i will acknowledge the slays. my one totally kickass sister who is the only other one of my siblings #who understands anything. i am rly grateful for her and she has been so good to me for so long especially during the recent shitstorm #she is moving very far away and that has brought up my abandonment issues but i genuinely am so happy for her and her family and she is ver #adamant about me visiting and PAYING for the visit (or at least doing the scamming that pays for the visit so i don't have to pay lol) and #making sure i'll be ok. #it's not all bad! i am going to be ok! there r so many people in my life who love me and love me in a way that makes sense to me and doesn' #make me feel like the world's worst man #personal log

[aq2003]

oh btw i get even more why brennan (like me) clocked sophomore year fabian as fucked up and sad even if some of the other pcs were like "what are you talking about dude" . it's because the basic core theses of fabian and leiland eftbk as characters are actually pretty similar

#AND matt mercer was like 'yes absolutely. my character has so many issues' meanwhile b4 lou could even say anything siobhan/adaine #went 'fabian isnt depressed his life rules.' #which like. 1) deeply incorrect statement. 2) fairly in character for adaine to say. 3) unfortunately this caused #a pretty big shift in tone w regards to how seriously fabian's arc ended up being executed #2.5) i could write a whole other post on how point 2 could be a super interesting thing to explore w adaine #she starts off so aware of there being no love from her parents towards her. so she sees love between a parent and a child #and cant conceptualize their relationship being ultimately harmful. like she learned long ago that there was no point seeking approval from #her parents meanwhile fabian made it his whole entire life's goal to do just that thing. both of them are fucked up in opposite directions. #crunchy concept yet very unexplored. and i'm not expecting this to happen in a potential s3 im just throwing ideas around like basebal #d20 #eftbk #fantasy high #sorry wrote all those tags then forgot to elaborate on how fabian and leiland are similar anyway it's this whole idea of #having this unhealthy dependency on the approval of someone you admire to the ends of the earth despite them being #fully and clearly a toxic influence on you. The whole illusion of inflated self worth howthat all crumbles when you Realize how fragile you #whole entire worldview was. and THEN you have an embarrassing breakdown in front of ur friends #and this is SO terrifying because you have really tried your best to look really cool and put-together in front of them #it's the 'getting knocked down SO hard and having to build yourself up by recognizing the love from your friends #+finding something completely different from the person you hinged your entire being on in order to find your way to the surface' of it all #also galfast/whitclaw are surprisingly similar narrative wise it's so funny to me. th storytelling series of nat 1s against an op enemy </3 #i think it WAS easier to execute leiland's character arc in the way it was bc a) he was played to be so CLEARLY insecure from minute 1 #and b) it is very easy to condemn ripoff sauron and say 'yeah this guy sucked and we're glad that leiland and maggie are free from him' #meanwhile for fabian. a) he has convinced himself that nothing is wrong with him even though there so clearly is #and b) you have to acknowledge that bill loved his son so deeply yet was such a bad influence on him #it's such a bittersweet-bitter complexity and i imagine it would be super hard to pull off esp when bill and fabian's dynamic is #played as fairly comedic most of the time. in this vein of 'this evil guy is so evil but he cares about his son this hard and it's funny' #and also just the fact this kind of bitter complicated parent-child dynamic is very rarely portrayed and pulled off well. #WHY the fuck are these tags so long if you read all this i'm so sorry

[icharchivist]

waking up to see they're discoursing about Ladiva again on the previously-blue-bird site i'm just. benafflecksmoking.jpg.

do we really have to go through that every time a major granblue game release. can't people fucking behave.

#this time from a tr*nsm*d saying that by default of not being dysphoric she's harmful rep #OP says while posting a screenshot of a convo between two trans women that goes #'i'm dysphoric so i know changing body can help do you want my help' #'nah i'm not dysphoric so i don't need it but that's very sweet' #'okay cool! we have different experience but both are alright!' #(paraphrasing) #and they're arguing 'since she doesn't want to change her body it's transphobic' #and it's just. you know it's only ONE of the MANY trans rep we have right #having one trans person not wanting to change her body (specifically because of really deep personal reasons) #isn't a statement about how all the charas in the game do it #GAAAHHHH #Ladiva get behind me no one can harm you i love you so much #ichatalks about gbf #ichasalty

[96percentdone]

I do honestly believe that all communication ever would be vastly improved if everyone on earth internalized and understood that the the whole thing is a series of back and forth interpretation of words with a collectively understood haze of potential meanings wildly dependent on context, speaker, and audience, even for even the most basic of sentences.

Like I can say "I like cats" but the degree of intensity to which i like them is just something you're inferring based on prior context (also interpreted) and how my tone is read. I could be sincere, or totally sarcastic, or maybe cat is slang for something else—miscommunication happens because everything is up for grabs, and communication is not an objective science.

It's a fast-paced guessing game played by all.

#hope.txt #i think a lot of people refuse to accept this notion at all #and i think different group that has accepted this in theory struggles with it in practice #because you'll see posts defended with statements like 'the meaning was totally obvious and readily apparent' kickstarting tedious argument #and if that were true then you wouldnt be having this conversation would you? #maybe its obvious to you #and many like you or closer to you #but thats not the same as objective meaning #this shit is always on my mind because you cant escape it #analysts love arguing objectively #leftist discourse is people with different backgrounds and experiences condemning the other party for not intuiting minutiae no one said #all discourse is that actually conservatives have terrible opinions that should not be treated as valid but the arguments themselves? #its just talking over one another as if the other person should just be on the same page already and is deliberately being obtuse #because 'its obvious isnt it?' #but if it was obvious you wouldnt be arguing with a rando online would you? #like yes obviously there are disingenuous grifters and liars in this world #people can be full of shit and act in bad faith #but it very much bothers me that the default is assuming bad faith when you disagree with something #i hate the assumption that everyone who says something different is a conman or an abuser #i cannot stand how insular and close minded how PRESUMPTIVE all dialogue has become #i am guilty of this myself at times truly but #but it feels like everyone thinks they are a mindreader of others given the divine power to know objective meaning of words #and you are not #you are not at all #no one is #give up on the fantasy of objective meaning it is not real

[the-busy-ghost]

Benefits of audiobooks- I can listen to them while I work, and I am forced to hear and consider every word, rather than read at my usual flying pace, which means I don’t miss things as much and get a deeper and more sustained enjoyment from a really good book

Disadvantages of audiobooks- When there are emotional details they aren’t blunted by the fact that my uncontrolled eye is already skimming the next passages and there are some Emotions that are not appropriate for working hours

#The Woman in White #Because Mrs Clements saying 'I made her first short frocks' broke me #And yet if I'd been reading a physical copy of that passage I'd probably have flown through it without remembering that sentence at all #Also the bit where Hartright says that Anne is buried in a place that Mrs Clements would have chosen for her herself #Was very upsetting #AND to top it all off I've just gone back an dlooked up the passage again and there's a sentence about how #Hartright 'is certain that she was not neglected in her last moments' #WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WALTER #Ok so she had medical attention and all the kindness that strangers could give her #But she died in a strange place confused as to why she was there surrounded by people who only wanted to use her #and the one person in the world who loved her not only didn't know where she was but never heard of her death until Walter told her #At least I suppose when he says that he means it as a comfort to Mrs Clements and that's totally fair and valid but still #Honestly I quite enjoyed the book but Anne Catherick deserved so much better than a single line on a tombstone #Maybe I'm just susceptible to statements about people who died without their loved ones near them for personal reasons #And I know it's a very common occurrence and even in the Victorian era when many people died at home it was common then #But poor Anne deserved better #Anyway also proof that audiobooks count as 'real books' #Because even though I don't always count them towards reading challenges I actually find that I pay more attention #and get a lot more out of fiction books at least than if I'd been reading them in a physical copy #Non-fiction is a different matter but I learnt to race through novels at an early age and just eat them up without much mulling over them #And it's hard to control my eye even when I'm trying to savour a book #So audiobooks actually make me read more carefully and sensibly #Perhaps the main disadvantage is I never know how the names of people and places are spelt #Especially if the narrator has an accent #reading log

[raspberryjellybrains]

I've been thinking a lot lately about Delirium and the way she speaks. She talks around a concept, never hitting it head on but glancing off through a series of metaphors and related concepts that explain things far better than wording them straight might. It's very relatable, and I think that's why I like her; that's how I think.

To me, the world isn't composed of precisely defined concepts but a series of interconnected existences which can all, ultimately, be related to each other. I also experience things in the incredibly specific manner Delirium seems to. I have sensitivities largely untethered from aversions, meaning that while I don't often find things deeply unpleasant or intolerable, I still experience them with an unusual specificity which often defies concise explanation. The best way I can convey certain feelings or experiences is through other feelings, experiences, and concepts to weave together a series of approximations that through their similar and dissimilar traits narrow down to what I'm trying to describe. Delirium does this too, and it's treated as a part of her that's no better or worse than any other. There are those that don't understand and those that do, and those that at least try to are awarded for their efforts because finally and most importantly, she genuinely has something to say. Her speech patterns are deceptively rambling because she takes a long time to say what she means to say, while simultaneously saying exactly it.

Delirium is neurodivergent coded in such a cathartic way because of this. I feel her frustration and joy because I know what it's like to be the person trying to explain something that has no words to assign, asking all of the time if there's a word for what she's feeling as a rhetorical and genuine question so that she can explain something without explaining it and call into question why we feel everything must be precisely laid in the place of as few words as possible. She is incredibly intelligent, but loses track of all of what's happening in a far more obvious way than most because there's just so much to keep track of, which is also very relatable as a neurodivergent person. Without putting labels on the experience, she perfectly captures it. I just... I like Delirium quite a lot, and think she'd be very good at post-modern literature.

#i hope to god this comprehensible #im trying so hard to get this shit in a line exactly becaude of why i like her #theres jusy SO MUCH to say its very hard to keep it straight and many more things to focus on beyond it #i love that delirium is treated by the narrative as an intelligent and wise being that just conveys that in an unconventional way #shes like my mirror metaphor. no mirror can light upon the minutae without shattering and no shattered mirror can see the bigger picture. #shes shattered but knows from when she was whole what the full picture looks like but she gets lost in all of the fragments #which gives her an incredibly unique and valuable perspective #at a surface level it seems as if she's an offensive depiction of mental illness but once you go deeper you realize shes not for the very- #reason she at first seemed to be. she embodies what is looked down upon but its told through side comments and events that theres more to- #her than the seeming irrationality. #she picks up and puts things down as she remembers them but that doesnt mean any one thing is any less valuable than any other #the ephemeral quality of her attentions dont diminish their value. #i have a lot of thoughts about her i just. am very fond. #and the way she and dream truly demonstrate the dichotomy of mental illness and neurodivergence makes me froth at the mouth. #he knows what shes saying most of the time and knows where shes at whether he admits it to himself or not because shes just externalizing- #what exists solely internally for him. hes better at masking and that is their difference which makes Such a statement oh my god when you- #think about how each are treated and understood. #it took me like. two weeks to organize these thoughts btw. they float in little brain clouds <3 #i need to watch everything everywhere all at once #anyway #delirium of the endless #the sandman meta #the sandman #raspberry rambles

[buysomecheese]

Having thoughts about the concepts of common sense, learned behaviors, and cultural norms; how different cultures, I’m sure, have varied definitions of each, and how even within any culture the definitions can be different based on generation, socio-economic status, and minority group (gender/sex, sexuality, race, ethnicity, neurotype, etc.)

A few articles (like the fun almost Buzzfeed type ones) gave examples of ‘common sense’ such as ‘‘don’t touch a hot stove’’ or “don’t walk in front of a car”- which are all technically learned behaviors. ‘Common sense’ feels like something that should be innate but a lot of the examples aren’t. Yes, keeping oneself out of danger is innate and a natural-instinct, but we’re not born knowing the specifics of that in this modern world. We don’t automatically know that getting hit by a car is fatal, or the way heat works and can be painful.

A lot of the other ‘common sense’ examples had to do with like “dressing formal at a job interview” and “knowing when to go to a doctor”, which are definitely very culturally-based. Even within different local communities, I’ve heard people in more rural places won’t go to the doctor until a limb is falling off or something, simply because it’s not convenient or worth it otherwise. Hell, it might be ‘common sense’ for someone who’s been verbally abused to understand love in contexts of insults, and that could be paralleled by so many other hyper-specific situations surrounding the way that a child grew up!

So if all ‘common sense’ is a learned behavior, and is so dependent on the backgrounds and experiences and teachers one has had in their life, why is it such a widely used concept? Clearly there’s no way to generalize it on a grand scale, not enough for it to be accurate or valid, just in a way that’s easy for people who would be inconvenienced by the questioning of their mindset.

And why would it be assumed that the only way to amass ‘common sense’ is through worldly experiences? Why would it be assumed that reading something from someone else’s perspective, even from a fictional standpoint, would not help broaden your own perspective? I was a constant reader in my childhood and that is where I learned/solidified a good portion of my empathy and morals. Honestly, I wish I would’ve read more varied books to expose myself to more perspectives, because I tend to stick with YA realistic fiction or fantasy, and there are a lot of overused tropes and plot lines in those genres.

But in comparing myself to someone who’s lived, say, 40 some years longer than I have but has read a fraction of the books, who surrounds herself with the same types of people over and over again when I actively seek out situations where I’ll be interacting with new demographics, who just accepts ‘social norms’ as the way they were when she was my age as opposed to trying to understand the way things are now, I would say I could be considered on the same level of ‘common sense’. I don’t care that your “IQ” is higher, in general that is a bullshit arbitrary system that just gives a sense of elitism to some, I know how to debate points and research as well as you. I know how to ask and talk to other people almost as well as you. I may not know as much about how the bank works but if I decided to, I could learn the whole history and create my own understanding that would make much more sense to anyone who asks me to explain instead of the “that’s just how it is” gospel you spew.

#you've cracked the code. all of this is a mommy issues rant disguised as philosophical wonderings #I was trying to discuss something related and she was refuting everything I said #turns out we were referencing different definitions. but she wouldn't listen to my definition (the one widely recognized by. everyone I know #) #but kept insisting that knowing how to make a bank statement for instance is 'common sense' best friend. no it is not. #that is not common sense. that *is* a life skill and something I need to learn but that's the thing. it is learned/ #*. #I don't care HOW neurotypical you are. there's no way that comes 'naturally' to you. honestly if it came incredibly naturally like you- #-needed no teaching on the subject matter to write it yourself I'm willing to bet that YOU are Very neurodivergent because. c'mon now. #anyways #long post #vent #I would just love it if she'd actually #listen to what I say sometimes and give it some thought instead of automatically writing it off based on my age and autism. #and then insisting she doesn't think I'm dumb when she just said that in twice as many words. #whatever anyways she's narrow-minded #she's just a bit silly and old

[myownprivatcidaho]

~

#personal #ok putting this in the tags cuz its just all over thw place but. few things abt my brother and stranger things #for starters im re/watching it with my brother this summer cause he LOVES it and doesnt rlly have access to online streaming #even though i think the show sucks shit now its. honestly sth i really appreciate because hes autistic and that show is HUGE to him #like he really really cares ab it #and this all isnt. like universal statements on what the show means to all autistic ppl i just Need to talk ab what it means to him #hes only seen s1 so far but its like. it makes me wanna CRY i didnt even think ab it until he started talking a lot ab it after he saw it #cause like. a story about a girl whos different and grew up closed off from others and feels separated from others and is bullied for it #but shes not a joke in the story shes POWERFUL and finds people who LOVE her. #so sth he does is he assigns people irl to characters in movies and shows he likes. so ever since seeing s1 hes said hes like el #and theres a person who puts a lot of effort into being gentle with him & making him feel loved and accepted & he says that person is mike #its like!!!! yeah being pessimistic ab the show onlineis easy #but idk how to explain how Huge it is to watch him grow up feeling set apart and crying because he feels like nobody wants to be his friend #and just to see him LOVE this show and LOVE watching el onscreen being celebrated for who she is as a person. like thats Huge for him #and its huge to SEE secondhand like jesus man #but yeah i just needed to put that somewhere. i love him very much #but yeag we're gonna start watching soon. this moderately shifts topical directions #but basically ive been thinking ab it a lot because the new season is out and i want to watch it w him before i leave #but im SO worried ab showing him s4 if this is bad im gonna feel SO bad ab showing it to him #and theres sth about what that says ab how the shows gone thats SO pathetic im yelling. #anyways. thats not a jab on my brother im just saying i hope the duffers DONT fuck this up cause goddamn #but yeag

[sttoru]

.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. it’s late at night and you try to cuddle with sukuna. keyword; try.

wc. 1.2k

tags. true form!sukuna x female reader. fluff, angst (+comfort). heian era. size difference (readers referred to as small). sukuna’s a bit mean, but he also has a soft spot for you. miscommunication ? it gets solved. reader gets called ‘woman, doll’.

“what are you trying to do?” sukuna sighs. you’re up to something again, he figures. his red eyes follow your body as it crawls up to him on the bed.

you’re both tired after a long day of fulfilling some duties here and there around the estate. all you need is a big beefy man wrapping his arms around you to keep you warm and safe.

the perfect man for that is sukuna. those four arms of his wrapped around your small body feel like heaven.

“it’s called cuddling,” you retort. the sarcastic tone you used triggers a deep sigh from the sorcerer. sukuna holds back the urge to say something sarcastic as well.

he doesn’t utter a single word once you snuggle up to his chest. you’ve taught him how to cuddle during the first time you asked him to hold you. sukuna was awkward with showing any type of affection back then.

. . he still very much is.

“hug, please,” you remind him. the cold-hearted man scoffs, though listens to your polite request. all four of his arms imprison you against his chest, your small body nearly disappearing behind his limbs.

that’s what you like most about those cuddles you share together; how you fit so perfectly in his strong arms. it’s much more comforting than you thought it would be.

a pair of hands rests on your waist, the other pair on your hips. sukuna glances down at you and immediately notices that smile on your lips. even after all this time, he still cannot fathom why you’re so carefree around a monster like him.

and that inability to understand you and your love for him is accompanied by an urge to push you away.

“you got your hug, now get up,” sukuna interrupts the silence. his voice is cold and devoid of emotion—he uses that voice when he talks to other people. not with you, “i have better things to attend to.”

thus, it hurts. when he talks to you like that. like you’re not the person he secretly cherishes most. though, you remind yourself of sukuna’s own words. the ones you heard him say a while ago.

‘love is meaningless’, he said. you remember. and yet you kept hoping that he’d change his mind about that statement. you hoped and eventually saw exactly that: your presence and your affectionate gestures mellowed his heart of steel.

but all that effort seems to go down the drain every time sukuna pushes you away.

you know it’s because he’s unfamiliar with the feelings of love. he may not say it nor show it, but you know that sukuna’s afraid of hurting you. so, he creates a gap between you two every now and then.

you know and yet you’re patient.

“oh, ‘kay,” you nod in understanding. you pull away from his embrace and get up from the bed. your bottom lip trembles.

sukuna is not gullible. he’s anything but oblivious. especially if it’s about how you feel and act. he notices every single change in your mood; whether you mask it or not.

you walk to the sliding doors—ready to open them and step out into the hallway. your eyes are a bit watery, but you quickly blink the tears away and take a deep breath in. you reach for the door.

“come back here, woman.”

sukuna’s booming voice makes you stop. you glance at his form over your shoulder. he’s leaning against the headboard of the bed, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed.

is he. . . upset?

“why? you said you had better things to attend to.” you answer with a shrug. you try your best to not make it seem like his earlier words had effected you. you turn your head towards the word with a huff, “go on, then.”

sukuna narrows his eyes. he sucks at communicating what he actually desires—what he actually wants. right now that want is for you to stay. even though that completely contradicts his previous words.

the sorcerer doesn’t know what to do. when you’re with him, he pushes you away out of guilt. when you’re away, he wants you back with him.

love is complicated.

“you. . .” sukuna grunts in frustration. all those feelings for you inside of his heart are playing with his rational thoughts. he doesn’t like seeing you upset. he wants the usual you back, “tsk. fine then.”

silence, followed by the creaking of the bed frame. seems like sukuna’s getting up to do whatever ‘business’ he needed to attend. at least, that’s what you thought.

you slide the door open and set a foot outside of the chambers. before the other could follow, you’re suddenly lifted up in the air by a strong pair of hands. your vision turns upside down as your body is effortlessly hoisted onto a shoulder.

“woah!” you gasp and feel the blood go to your head. your eyes are fixed on the back of your lover. you kick your legs in protest, but only get a smack to your ass in response. you whine at that, “put me down!”

“watch it, doll,” sukuna hisses at your fierce demand, a warning to fix your tone. he puts you back down on the soft mattress. he’s surprisingly gentle when he settles you in place—not throwing you on the bed or anything similar, “should’ve listened when i told you the first time.”

your eyes meet sukuna’s and you notice how much they’ve softened. that alone makes the lump in your throat disappear. your love for him isn’t one sided—you’ve always kept that in the back of your mind—yet your thoughts made you overlook the little things he does for you.

his actions speak louder than his words. that’s the kind of man he is.

sukuna’s trying to open up more, though that process is slow. you’re fine with that.

especially when there’s that faint pout on his lips as he stares at you. his eyebrows are still furrowed, his crimson eyes sharp yet warm.

“oh, you want me back in bed this bad?” you tease once you get the opportunity. the man in front of you clicks his tongue and grabs your cheeks with one hand, turning your head up to face him.

sukuna’s eyes are focused on yours. the eye contact is intimidating, but you’re hypnotised. you physically can’t look away. he leans in and bites your lip with his sharp canines, “shut up.”

that raspy whisper alone confirms your assumption. you giggle at his attempt of refuting your point. you’re used to all those intimidating words and actions he pulls to get you to stop your teasing.

those empty threats—it’s becoming rather cute with how hard he tries to deny everything. he fails nearly every time, however.

“come,” sukuna lays back against the pillows after placing a quick and sloppy kiss against your lips. he pulls your body against his and presses your head against his chest, right where his heart is beating, “continue with your.. ‘cuddling’ thing.”

he put your ear right above his heart, because he remembers listening to his heartbeat calms you down. you told him that a while back. sukuna doesn’t understand why you like it, but his fingers massage your scalp either way.

that’s also something that brings you comfort.

you’re surprised by how much he knows about you, but appreciate it anyway. he remembers both the big and small things about you. ‘that’s how he probably shows his love,’ you conclude silently.

#sttoru writes. #jjk x reader #sukuna x reader #jjk fluff #sukuna x you #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #sukuna x y/n #sukuna fluff

[hunterarden]

I guess I gotta start blocking more Witcher book fans who have some takes that I really like! Because so many book (and probably game) fans especially have a frankly unfounded disdain for the show and its viewers, and while they mock the tv series because of “what it gets wrong,” they almost always get a LOT wrong about the *books* and are bafflingly wrong about the show. Many probably don’t watch it anyway, which doesn’t stop them from accusing it of things it simply doesn’t do.

And you can almost never convince them otherwise because, unlike the Netflix writers, they apparently have no interest in interacting with Witcher related “text.” Just their own headcanons and ideas about the stories, fans, the way politics and psychology work, whatever. This wouldn’t be so glaring if they didn’t get things so INCREDIBLY wrong, draw the most ungenerous conclusions about the tv series, and then clog up fandom spaces with their unfair judgements lol. (Other fans and media almost always get the benefit of the doubt, even when criticized, and the show even gets blamed for things the books and various games do that the show DOESN’T do. Eh?!)

*those who haven’t already blocked me

#twn #the witcher #fandom #again TRYING to get in fewer fights lol #I just can’t deal with all these people who make sweeping statements #and assertions about things that the writers or other fans get wrong #who give examples that don’t seem to support their point or didn’t seem to happen #and then can’t back up anything they’re saying when questioned slightly #and basically say it’s their opinion #I mean plenty of these people are very nice but #I don’t know at all how to have a convo if the words were looking at mean something different to you lol #like I can’t understand you if this is all made up in your head but stated as fact #and unfortunately I can’t just say yes I completely agree love it no matter what lol