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thisisnotthenerd · 6 months

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ok, i know i put a poll up and that relationship tracking won the poll for what came next on the stats series.

but consider this: relationship tracking takes so goddamn long. i had already started it by the time that i put the poll up, and as of now i'm still not done. granted the list is comprehensive: romantic, platonic, familial, and adversarial relationships, separated by pc-npc and pc-pc. for every season.

anyway, i started tracking character ages in the meantime while i build up the motivation to finish the relationship tracking.

without further ado:

d20 character ages

some of these are listed in the wiki. some of these are based on vibes and more vague indications from the seasons in question. all of them have some element of my commentary. if there isn't an age given i will explain why. it's in the seating chart because that compacts the format into an understandable block and not an infinitely long list.

to be clear, some of these are confirmed with actual numbers, but some aren't, and i'm listing them as unknown and offering my opinion in place of a confirmed number.

fantasy high freshman year: i am convinced that the ages the cast give are vibes based. as someone who did not fit the normal age range of high school, i can tell you that in the US, freshmen are typically 14-15, sophomores 15-16, juniors 16-17, and seniors 17-18. that's not to say that someone can't fall out of those ranges. i did. anyway:

fig faeth: ~15. this is a rough estimate--she'd be born just after fall cutoff for her year to start at 15.

gorgug thistlespring: 14-15. he was confirmed 14 at the start of the season, and presumably turns 15 at some point during the year.

adaine abernant: 14-15. this is based on the fact that she turns 16 before the events of sophomore year

fabian seacaster: 16. a bit older than your average freshman, but i knew people who were 16 freshman year, so it's not that weird.

kristen applebees: 15-16. again a bit older than your average freshman, but younger than fabian.

riz gukgak: 14. this was confirmed in episode 13 iirc. riz is the youngest of the party

escape from the bloodkeep: this party has some major age differences that are very unclear. no real confirmed ages.

maggie: unknown. she and zaul'nazh had been in a relationship for ~100 years, so she's probably got a good couple of centuries under her belt

leiland: unknown. similar deal to maggie--he spent centuries serving zaul'nazh. how many? who knows

efink murderdeath: unknown. she's a tolkienesque high elf. if we go full lotr comparison to arwen, she's over 2000 by the time she marries percival.

sokhbarr: unknown. again, we don't really get confirmation of an age for him--he's just kind of an ageless bog-lord.

lilith: old as time. she ate the stars. definitely the oldest of the party.

markus st. vincent: unknown. human, so he has a human lifespan. i'd pin him in his 30s. given that his closest comparison is probably faramir, who's 35 at the start of the war of the ring, i think 30s tracks.

the unsleeping city: here we have a mix of confirmed ages and some straight up vibes.

ricky matsui: late 20s early 30s. more specifically around 26-31. this is vibes-based. i based this on his career progression.

sofia lee: early-mid 30s. another vibes-based one. again based on career progression. she feels a little older than ricky and pete, but not by much. married to dale for 5 years, so if they got married when she was in her late 20s, this tracks.

kingston brown: 55. thank god a confirmed number.

misty moore: ~400. at least that's how long she's been on earth. this actually comes from tucii. i'd put her misty form in late 70s early 80s, and her rowan form in her mid 20s.

kugrash: ~60, based on his 30 years as a rat druid.

pete conlan: younger than 31. this is based on a reference ally makes in tucii to big business (1988), so i aged him back three years. i would guess mid-late 20s during tuc; he mentions not having seen his dad in 6 years. assuming pete fully transitioned during college/around college age, it would make sense for him to be around 25-28 during the first unsleeping city.

tiny heist: some of these characters just straight up don't age, so they don't really count when evaluating age.

rick diggins: unknown. he's a clicko man. he cannot age except in spirit.

boomer coleoptera: unknown. vaguely middle-aged, though that might just be clint mcelroy's general dad energy

agnes: elderly. no confirmed number, though she's old enough to have a grandma schtick, a reputation, and a terminal illness prognosis of 2 months

ti-83: a teen. and that's all we know. probably younger than bean.

bean: late teens early 20s. a vague range, but at least it's something.

car-go jones: another ageless toy. at least a decade in human years, if we estimate that max got him at a similar age that he gives him to dylan.

a crown of candy: finally some goddamn numbers.

liam wilhelmina: 17-18. he starts at 17 and turns 18 in ep 15 iirc.

theobald gumbar: ~50. this tracks for him assisting lazuli and being amethar's friend during the war

jet rocks: 18. and she never lived past 18.

saccharina frostwhip: 23-24. this tracks for her being born around the ravening war, before the rocks sisters were killed.

ruby rocks: 18. and she keeps living.

amethar rocks: 48. reasonable. he'd have been in his mid 20s during the ravening war.

lapin cadbury: old man. yes that is the actual entry. i'd say he's probably 10-15 years older than amethar to really be considered old.

cumulous rocks: late 30s early 40s. tracks for being created by lazuli while theo was starting his knighthood under her.

fantasy high sophomore year: i'm halfway convinced that the intrepid heroes just don't know how old high schoolers are. granted, they may be going for general teen, i.e. 13+1d6, so the more batshit stuff they do comes across as a little more normal. it's like having actors in their 20s play teens. except they're actually dnd characters. and they're in their 30s.

fig faeth: 16-17. another rough estimate for fig.

gorgug thistlespring: 17. a little funky, since he was 14 at the start of fhfy. the principle of 13+1d6 comes across here

adaine abernant: 16. her age range for the year is 15-16, which is normal for a high school sophomore.

fabian seacaster: 18. definitely stretching it a bit. the listed current age is 18-19, which i'm assuming is using boy's night as reference.

kristen applebees: 16-17, which tracks with her progression from freshman year

riz gukgak: 16. confirmed in ep 14 iirc. since he was 14 in feb of freshman year, and assuming spring break is ~april, he has a spring birthday.

pirates of leviathan: there's a pretty clear split of age groups in this season--the first to introduce adults in spyre.

sunny biscotto: 18. her first adventure as an independent person, even though it was technically her running away from home.

barbarella sarsaparilla gainglynn: 22. it tracks; she grew up isolated on leviathan and isn't super far into her career, though she has a pretty strong base

cheese stormcrank: 16. the youngest of the party, even though he's his family breadwinner. the left table is the young people in this party.

myrtle: 30. aabria calls her a 'dirty thirty'. so that may not be exact.

jack brakkow: late 50s equivalent. granted he's a ratkin, and middle age starts at 25 for them, with old landing at 40. so he may actually be younger, probably closer to myrtle's age if not a little older.

marcid the typhoon: unknown. he's never given a specific age. given that he's known myrtle for a long time, and at some point was nearly drowned in a shipwreck, i'm going to put him in his 30s as well.

the unsleeping city chapter ii: again, a mix of confirmed ages and vibes.

ricky matsui: early 30s. 29-34. this is just three years aged up from the first unsleeping city.

sofia lee: mid 30s. another age-up from

kingston brown: 58. thank god a confirmed number.

iga lisowski: 45. it feels like she kind of plays up the old lady schtick for her job, bc 45 isn't that old.

rowan berry: ~400. at least that's how long she's been on earth. rowan form in her mid 20s.

cody walsh: 26. this is a 26 year old hot topic manager with 12 swords and extreme mediocrity. truly a character designed to cause chaos.

pete conlan: younger than 34. again based on the reference ally makes in tucii to big business (1988). i'd put him at around 28-31. definitely around cody's age, a little older, but not much.

mice & murder: they are animals using variant human stats, so they're using human ages.

gangie green: 55. he definitely acts younger in certain circumstances.

buckster $ boyd: unknown. probably younger than gangie--late 40s perhaps? we know he's a gemini.

daisy d'umpstaire: almost 60. she's past her prime and wondering if she really wants to do this for the rest of her life

ian prescott: unknown. definitely middle aged, probably around buckster's age.

lars vandenchomp: 18, supposedly in dog years. also a cancer. i don't know how, given that they served in the schnauzer war and supposedly have a business degree.

sylvester cross: 55. another person past his prime, and wondering what's he's doing with the rest of his life.

misfits & magic: the first school season to actually have consistent ages, assuming they're entering as sixth years who were in their junior year in the us.

whitney jammer: 16. born around 2005.

k | dream: 17. born around 2004

sam black: 16. another 2005 baby

evan kelmp: 17. born around 2003. this tracks for him not having formal education-- a little old for the grade.

the seven: the first spyre school season to have the ages be consistent. the ladies know teenagerhood well.

the fact they lost a year or so in the palimpsests makes placing their grades a little fuzzier: we know sam, ostentatia, and zelda get taken during the school year. penny goes missing just before the start of the year, and antiope, katja, and danielle get taken beforehand.

antiope jones: 18. she lost a year in the palimpsest, so she's technically a super senior, making her a junior during fhfy.

katja cleaver: 18. another technical super senior, who was a junior during fhfy.

penny luckstone: 18. again, she lost her junior year during fhfy.

danielle barkstock: 16-17. i'd say 17, because that makes her a sophomore during fhfy--she'd have repeated the year to be a junior during the seven.

ostentatia wallace: 16-17. leaning toward 17 again, but younger than danielle. we don't get full confirmation of how old she is/what grade she's in during fhfy, but given the fact that she's established enough to host a party at her house during fhfy, i'd say she's a sophomore, and that's the year she repeats.

sam nightingale: 18. i'd say close to 19, because she's definitely in penelope's age group if not grade, and i'm pretty sure i recall penelope being a senior during fhfy. she may have been young for her grade initially, but came out on the other end after fhfy.

zelda donovan: 16-17. leaning towards 16 for zelda; she's a freshman with the bad kids during fhfy, and is the last maiden to be captured, at some point during the second semester. she could conceivably retake classes over the summer and catch up in order to be a sophomore the same year as the bad kids.

shriek week: this is a college season, so they're college aged. i don't have that much to say--we know exactly how old they are.

terry talbo: 22

megan mirror: 23

tuti iv: 21

seven: 22

a starstruck odyssey: there's a mix here--some vagueness, some numbers. in-universe their ages would be counted differently anyway, since they work off of 6-month cycles and not 12-month years.

gunnie miggles-rashbax: mid 30s. he's got two PhDs and a master's as well as a cyborg body and years of trying to pay off debt.

riva: unknown. it's reasonable to assume that they're on the younger side, given that they are on their galavant. i'd assume around early-mid 20s for their species.

norman takamori: unknown. based on the art and his general timeline, i'd say ~40s. maybe 50s.

skip | valdrinor: unknown. he's a cerebroslug who was presumably raised somewhere, tried to escape, ended up in space and then in a crate of powdered egg substitute.

margaret encino: 24. a savant who began working at 18. truly a girlboss on a quarter life crisis.

sundry sidney: n/a. she's an android--aging doesn't really apply to her. i think it's only been a year or so since the line was shut down, since it's been revamped as the warfare whitneys.

big barry syx: 38. this also carries over to barry nyne. we know barry bohunk created the barry battalion before anarchera 200 (current=220), but they were born as 25 year old beautiful big boys. in short, barry's age is a little questionable.

coffin run: another age split season, since half of the party is immortal.

aleksandr astrovsky: 41. young to be florina's zayde. also 15 sons? especially when he and marina had not been in contact for ~7 years? insane.

squing: old as time. younger than dracula, but only just. just a squishy headed vampire who eats letters.

wetzel: 26. has not even lived a majority of his lifetime and already wants to be a vampire.

may wong: 24. granted that's because she was turned at 24 so as to be eternally young and hot, so she's a bit older than that probably.

a court of fey and flowers: they are archfey that don't die. blooms are centuries apart. assume these age ranges are going to be like the bloodkeep ranges.

andhera: unknown. younger than most of the fae--he's the current heir to the unseelie, but has had many siblings who died previously in pursuit of the throne. most of the others knew them when they were younger; hob unhorsing him on the field of battle is only one example. so definitely like just of age for this prince.

k.p. hob: unknown. definitely older than andhera and likely binx, he's in the prime of his military career. getting closer to middle age, but still a relatively eligible bachelor, given that the goblin court sought to make a marriage alliance with lady sylmenar.

chirp featherfowl: unknown. i'd put her at the archfey equivalent of late 20s early 30s just based on vibes. she's still getting down at the bloom but has a 4 year old at home on the material plane.

squak airavis: unknown. i'd say slightly younger than chirp, but they've been cousins for so long that the difference is irrelevant. late 20s, getting down and breaking hearts at the bloom. considering marriage but shopping around.

delloso de la rue: unknown. rue is a little tricky--they were brought to the court of wonder as a child and presumably aged normally to that point, but they've been an archfey ever since. closer to hob's age than the lords of the wing.

binx choppley: unknown. the crisis of the court of craft happened relatively recently in fey terms and she was an adult by that point, though not truly the leader at the time. i'd say she's older than andhera, younger than the lords of the wing.

neverafter: some weird age splits in this party; kids, adults, inexplicable trickster spirits.

rosamund du prix: 18. technically 118, but that doesn't really matter.

timothy goose: unknown. he's old enough to have greying hair and an adult son--late 40s-early 50s maybe?

pinocchio: 12. this is based on both him and ylfa being 21 during the epilogue, so i'm assuming they're the same/a similar age.

puss in boots/pib: unknown. we meet him when he's on the older side for a cat, but also he's an eternally reincarnating trickster spirit, so that doesn't really matter.

gerard of greenleigh: 32. the other adult in the party, even though he doesn't have everything figured out.

ylfa snorgelsson: 12. this is confirmed in story, and she and pinocchio are the same age.

the ravening war: this season is a little weird because of the time skip and the fact that some ages are unconfirmed.

delissandro katzon: starts at 19, 21 after the first timeskip, 26 after the second. a young man.

raphaniel charlock: unknown. i'd say he starts in his late 60s and ends the season in his mid-70s. old enough to be deteriorating and have specific signs of age, but still spry enough to pull off a cunning action dash.

karna solara: 14 to start, 16 post-timeskip 1, 21 post-timeskip 2. rotting from a young age.

colin provolone: unknown. i'd place him in his late 20s to start, mid 30s by the end, based on his art and the start of cheese pattern baldness.

amangeaux epiceé du peche: unknown. mid 20s to start, early 30s by the end. she and her husband had been trying for heirs for a while--assuming she married young, she's not past her prime, but not having a kid in her position would be a little sus. also the fact that she must have had a relatively healthy uncomplicated pregnancy points to her still being pretty young to start.

dungeons & drag queens: a lot of variance here as well. mostly vibes-based.

troyánn: 242. she's got a combination of elf and immortal mermaid queen--this is reasonable.

princess foehammer: unknown. probably in her 20-30s.

gertrude: unknown. explicitly immortal--the only sign of age is her hair. she's been around for a while.

twyla: unknown. she's another fairy of unknown age.

mentopolis: some of these characters have stated ages. they are also concepts in a brain.

conrad schintz: 10. his growth has been stunted for years.

anastasia tension: 24. an up and coming journalist running form her rich family? say no more.

hunch curio: unknown. he's a concept in a brain. on vibes? 40s.

imelda pulse: unknown. i'd say she's probably around anastasia's age, given that they demonstrably grew up together.

dan fucks: unknown. another concept in a brain. 20-30s on the vibes alone.

the fix: unknown. concept in a brain. old enough to be a father and a contract killer is all i'll say.

burrow's end: this follows stoat aging--some of these are confirmed, some are guesses.

tula: 1-2 years old, leaning towards 2. old enough to have kids of a reasonable age, if the 1 year mark is adulthood (male stoats achieve sexual maturity at 10-11 months)

jaysohn: somewhere between 6 and 8 months old. growing up fast.

viola: 1-2 years old, same litter as tula. i looked up stoat reproduction against recommendation.

thorn vale: 1-2 years old. in the vague adult range with tula and viola.

ava: 4 years old. potentially could live for 15 more winters. unbelievable.

lila: somewhere between 6 and 8 months old. same litter as jaysohn, but is the elder of the two of them.

and that's all for this time! despite being this long, this is still going to be shorter than the relationship tracking. as always the spreadsheet is available for perusal.

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laufire · 5 days

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This is redhoodinternaldialectical from the "main" blog, returning fire with the character ask game :3

For Jason: 23. Fav picture of this character 24. What character from another fandom reminds you of them? 26. Freebie question! What do you think his complicated opinions about Heathclif would be? (Saw ur tags about that hehehe)

I might come back with other characters, but just Jason for now cause it's WAY passed my bedtime

Fav picture of this character

there are so many options... (see: my header of his hamlet moment). but I'm going to go with this one, from batman annual #25.

I fucking love a character climbing out of his own grave. and that lightning bolt is so frankenstein of him <3

What character from another fandom reminds you of them?

my mind is wired to draw parallels and comparisons, and I happen to be rewatching a tv show (the 100, one of those "it could be so good if it was good" things xD) where sometimes it seems that all my favourite characters have some jason-coded moments and traits lol.

BUT. among all of them, we definitely need to talk about john murphy!!! he's my #1 in that show (with some strong competition), because I love his journey. he really started being... well, what dc regularly tries to convince us robin!jason was: a mean, angry teen, product of his society, who lashed out at people once he could, because he had been wronged himself. this show gave him far more grace about it (even during his messy revenge quest lol), and in season 2 they landed on a really potent love story with him and another character, emori (another outcast in her own society, this time because she was born with a mutation, that survived by stealing from others) that ended up catapulting him to Romantic Hero status in a way s1!murphy couldn't have dreamed of lmao. it was great.

even his backstory (which he's given in the first episode of s2) is. very jason añdslkfjasf. two important things about this gifset is a) the girl here, raven (another favourite), has a similar backstory (alcoholic mother who failed to take care of her, raven would've starved if not for the kindness of her neightbour & childhood sweetheart). she's taunting murphy because a few episodes before murphy shot her in the spine (he didn't intend to hurt her but it wasn't exactly an accident. part of his messy revenge quest against a -barely- adult who failed him lol). she hates him, and yet she clearly can't help but empathise </3. a few episodes later she tries to get him killed to save her ex <3. in a few seasons they'll become best friends <3. as far as I'm concerned she's memori's third <333

a few other things in favour of "jason-coded murphy" are this post, or the fact that at one point murphy had to use sex to survive in a way I personally headcanon jason doing (I've actually drawn some comparisons between that plot and nightwing/tarantula but only stylistic ones; plot-wise it's a very different situation where he displays an attitude closer to what I imagine jason doing).

What do you think his complicated opinions about Heathclif would be?

alñsdkfjasdf I can't believe I'm going to talk more about other characters than about jason but here we are lol.

anyway first of all, unlike many people in this fandom, jason is a smart cookie capable of differentiating fact from fiction, who could recognise heathcliff did some really fucked shit against undeserving people and still appreciate the hell out of him as the fascinating character he is. tyvm. that said, he's also someone who gets very personal about literature xD

one thing about heathcliff is that he does what some people argue jason is doing when he "targets" tim or mia (or damian, but that's bftc and fandom has more or less accepted that it's a mess, and also damian isn't white :))). aka, he's (a grown man!!) viciously, hatefully going after innocent children for the sins of their fathers!! for shame. sorry but that's not even true in bftc or hush (the situations there were very messy and the writers desperately needed medical consultants to make them make any sense, get off his dick xD), but definitely not true for titans tower or seeing red. jason was NOT trying to kill these teens (a few years younger than him at most), he's never wanted them death, and he's never even aimed to caused grievious, irreparable damage. again, get off his dick :P

but it's interesting to me thinking about jason reading the book for the very first time during the lost days era, in particular. he would empathise with heathcliff's desire for revenge, but I don't think he'd ~relate as strongly to him as some people think. yes, there is mistreatment in their youths and the revenge plot (after heathcliff does whateve he does in his own lost days period lol); there's even possible racial ambiguity in common, if we take into account the shiva thing. and he'd half-mindedly draw some links between bruce and earnshaw senior and, if he's feeling ungenerous lol, between dick and hindley, but nothing particularly strong, imo.

but I can see even this faint link being enough to have him pondering his own lines, what he's willing to do once he returns and what he isn't. and it's a fact that jason crossed some of his own purported lines, because he was too in his head about bruce or because they were convenient at the moment or because of all other reasons. and I picture him rereading the book years down the road, and grappling with that fact. wondering if heathcliff had drawn his own lines beforehand or gone all in from the beginning, wondering if he had any regrets.

otherwise, he would appreciate heathcliff as the force he is in the narrative, while being utterly disgusted by some of his actions. at the same time he'd be really wary of the unreliable narration (I imagine him thinking nelly gives all the lintons too much grace, even if he obviously would think heathcliff's actions towards isabella and cathy are undefensible). I also believe he's ready to fist-fight anyone that supported the "monstrous" readings of heathcliff as something inhuman, as some supernatural force of nature. heathcliff, to him, is utterly human.

ALSO. jason is definitely that bitch who reads the FUCKING UNHINGED SHIT (x, x, x, x, x) catherine and heathcliff say about each other and be like. why can't that be me 😭. he's fucking unwell.

(and feel free to ask me about any other character you want! or any extra questions about jason lol)

#replies #redhoodinternaldialectical #thank you sm i had a lot of fun with this one lol #talking to the void #my thoughts #dc #dc thoughts #t100 thoughts #wuthering heights thoughts #jason todd #john murphy #everything i love is the same #heathcliff #dc comics

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whimsicallyenchantedrose · 16 days

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Season 3 Rewatch Drabbles: 3x20 Kansas

Summary: A series of 100-500 word drabbles to accompany my rewatch of season 3 of Once Upon a Time. There will be a drabble–either a deleted scene, a “fix it” fic or a character musing for each episode of the season. Focus will be on Emma, Henry, the Charmings and Killian–with an emphasis on Captain Swan’s epic love story.

Word Count: 770

Other Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Hook! Hook! Hook! Wake up! Killian!” Emma shouted, shaking him, hearing the blinding panic in her voice.

Nothing happened. He lay there, senseless and immobile. Not breathing. She caressed his face, leaning down close. “Killian, come back to me!”

Still nothing. Emma knew this was what Zelena wanted. She’d manipulated them into the exact place she wanted them. Emma could either let him die or give him mouth to mouth–giving up her magic.

It wasn’t even a question. She couldn’t lose him. She couldn’t.

She’d been trying so hard, so damned hard ever since drinking the memory potion Hook had given her, to deny….well, a lot of things, but in particular the pull, the unbreakable emotional tether she had to Killian. The thought that he had burrowed his way into her heart, that he’d begun to matter to her frankly terrified her.

Oh, she could admit she liked him. She could admit he’d been her friend and confidant ever since Neverland. She could admit they would have been far worse off in this fight without him around. And as for his looks, well, she wasn’t blind. Obviously he was hot as hell.

What she hadn’t been able to admit, even to herself, is that it went deeper. That she was beginning to care for him in a way she hadn’t cared for anyone, at least since Neal.

And so she’d told herself over and over again that she wasn’t going to let him all the way in. She wasn’t going to give him the power to break her heart. When all was said and done, she could walk away back to New York without a backward glance. Leaving him behind would be no big deal.

And yet he continued to push and push and push. It wasn’t so much that he was pestering her to be with him. He wasn’t. He had always, always let her set the pace of their “relationship” or whatever it was.

It was that he got to the heart of the matter. Pushing her to move past her denial. Pushing her to move past her fear. Pushing her to accept that things had changed and that she couldn’t take Henry away from his family again, at least not without doing damage to both him and them.

And so she’d been snarky–nearly to the point of being cruel–as they’d trudged through the woods to Zelena’s house.

“You’ve taken care of the boy quite well here,” he’d said, “You can talk about danger all you like, but it isn’t that. So tell me, what is it? Why are you so scared of staying? I think it’s because you can see a future here. A happy one.”

As usual, he’d hit the nail on the head. Back in New York before she’d taken the memory potion, he’d told her he knew her better than she knew herself, and once again, he’d proven the truth of that statement.

The fear had risen up and made her respond in a mocking, cutting tone. One meant to dismiss. One meant to convey that he was nothing to her.

One that was a lie from beginning to end.

“Let me guess, with you?”

For a split second, she’d seen the pain in his eyes at that, and she’d had the urge to apologize, but then, as usual, all hell had broken loose. Zelena and Gold had shown up, and well, it all led to this moment right now.

The moment she had to admit, at least to herself, exactly what he meant to her.

“Son of a bitch,” she muttered before leaning down and letting her lips touch his.

There was an instantaneous wave. She felt her magic lifting from her, like the removal of a cozy coat in the middle of winter. It left her cold, vulnerable.

But there was something more, some kind of energy surge. The deep, dark honest part of her that her conscious mind viciously kept under lock and key wondered if that had been it, proof that they’d shared a True Love’s Kiss.

And really, truth be told, what happened between them had been more like a kiss than mouth to mouth rescusitation.

She’d sat back, looked at him, waiting, her fear mounting as the moments passed by, each one feeling like an hour.

And then he’d coughed, water spewing from his mouth, and the relief that flooded her was stronger than any she’d felt.

He turned horrified blue eyes up at her. “Swan, what did you do?” he asked.What I had to, she thought. Nothing, absolutely nothing, would be worth letting you die.

NEXT CHAPTER->

#season 3 rewatch drabbles #cs fanfiction #3x20 kansas #a moment of truth #before the denial comes back at the end of the episode

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oswlld · 3 months

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oswlld's monthly wrap up: january

note: i am trying something a bit different this year, so bear with me as i figure out how i want to format this. i wanted to spend more time sharing what i consume, beyond what i rb, and put my thoughts in one place. these posts are okay to rb

The Fifth Season, N.K. Jemisin [started 11/03, finished 01/23] This was originally a dnf from 2023 that i decided to pick up again. My entry point into her work was The City We Became and fell in love with her voice. With Fifth Season, however, I felt like I loved parts of the story but didn’t fall in love with the sum of the whole. I will go more into why in the tags because it will touch on spoilers (mildly!) I still gave it 4⭐️ in storygraph. — The Moth Presents: All These Wonders, Catherine Burns [started 01/05, finished 01/31] I bought this collection from Half Price so long ago, I’ve forgotten what drew me in. Probably because of the Neil Gaiman foreword. I had not heard of The Moth so I went into this blind. Some of the stories made me wish I heard it live and feel the story breathe and beat with the audience. 4.25⭐️ in storygraph.

Flavorful Origins, Netflix [started: 09/28, finished 01/04] I watched s1/s2 in 2023 at various pts of the fall/winter. Finally wrapped up s3 in January and caught up. Unsure if its a complete series or ongoing, but I do hope to return to the series in the future if they do upload more seasons. This series reminds me of the YT channel Liziqi, where they take one ingredient and unravel the techniques and related dishes by region. A great palate cleanser amongst all the other shows I typically gravitate towards. — Last Twilight, GMMTV on YT [started 11/10, finished 01/26] The only show I watched in real time, as it premiered week by week. If I solely focus on the January episodes, for the sake of this post, I can’t say I was happy with the way the final act was handled. If I look back on the whole of it, it’s still really special to me. In fact, there are episodes that still stand as the very best in television, THE BEST. Still licking the wounds inflicted by the finale, though. — Moving, Hulu [started 01/08, finished 01/30] This lured me in by process of dash osmosis, which is the very best brand of entry pt. I am O B S E S S E D with this show, I am singing its praises! It soothed the scars left by the show Heroes. Amongst all the action sequences, espionage, and high school drama is this huge heart beating loud and strong. Lee Mihyun, the way I love youuuuu, the character you are 🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼 Guys, she saved January for me.

Chevalier, Hulu [watched on 01/14] The short runtime (well, short for the current landscape of cinema) did give me pause. I think some of the emotional beats could have been deepened if given 20 more min of his involvement in the rebellion. I think I wanted the betrayal to really cut me to the bone, but it felt like a papercut. — BlacKkKlansman [watched on 1/31] At this point, I would follow John David Washington’s career to the very end. I love his natural charisma. I want to see him go thru alllll the situations and wish this movie gave him a lot more room to breathe. Laura Harrier took me by surprise, portraying the BSU president Patrice. The story came to a very mild end and felt very tame, but the suspense held its own.

Stick Season (We’ll All Be Here Forever), Noah Kahan [first time listening] I originally learned about him when I was in my Lizzy McAlpine hyperfixation last year and heard she was a feature in one of his songs. And then I discovered a duet Noah did with Hozier and knew I had to spend time this month to sit down and really digest his album. WHOA MAN, this is one of those formative moments when music perfectly aligns with my current state of being. Take that as you will. Current top 5: Come Over, Strawberry Wine, Northern Attitude, Halloween, Your Needs My Needs — Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812 [relistening] what else is there to say, this is a mandatory yearly listen when it becomes below 0 outside. When I saw this show live, it was a January date as well so this relisten really got me spiralling. These two albums got me Feeling 🧍🏻‍♀️ on my walks.

Minecraft [game, on Switch] I got this game as a christmas gift and was where I spend most of my waking hours outside of work. I enjoyed watch MC streams on twitch and knew I would enjoy playing on my own. I get it now, I am soooooo late to this game. I think and dream Minecraft. My mountain house and harbor builds? Immaculate. They basic, but immaculate. Now I’m in my fishing era, esp when I have Stick Season playing in the background (nothing else mattered when the sun was rising and the song The View Between Villages played in the bg, it was a religious experience). — Lethal Company [game, on Twitch/YT] My entire month has been hopping from one stream to another, lobby after lobby. This game is so fun to watch and witness how all the mods evolved as time went on. I don’t think I myself would play the game myself, as I am a bit of a scaredy cat, but watching my fav groups play has been a highlight.

#oswlld 2024 wrap up #mine: edits #the fifth season #the moth presents #flavorful origins #last twilight #last twilight the series #moving kdrama #chevalier #blackkklansman #noah kahan #natasha pierre and the great comet of 1812 #lethal company #minecraft #MILD SPOILERS REGARDING FIFTH SEASON:#last warning mmmmmmmmmm ok cont #one of my main draws in any media is a good ensemble cast of characters #so i really loved how the world was being told from what i had assumed was 3 pov's #when the name reveal dropped my heart was shattered #what i had thought was a people i grew to love it was a PERSON #i know it something i shouldnt nitpick on but still #what do you guys think of this monthly wrap up thing?#i rarely put my thoughts into writing so it's actually been cathartic and kinda scary to share this with you #feb and mar will be so packed as I will be catch up with some award season nominations

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johnnyraine · 3 months

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Legend of the Galactic Heroes (1988) - Review - 7/10

Spoilers!!!

Season 1 (1-26): 6/10

I don't recall much, but I do remember that I was addicted to this season.

Season 2 (27-54): 8/10

The first three episodes are boring but once the politicians in the FPA show their corruption/incompetence again, I start liking it.

As this series continues, I find myself being more pissed yet understanding of Yang Wenli's refusal to start a military dictatorship of his own. I also understand that in a META sense that would be boring, what with Reinhard von Lohengramm already striving for power in the Galactic Empire.

I am happy that Yang and Greenhill got married, I very much appreciate a successful relationship in this show.

Season 3 (55-86): 6/10

Three seasons in and I have noticed that the first few episodes of the last two seasons are boring, before being good again. Julian's history episodes are some of the boring ones, but sometimes I like the historical knowledge given.

I actually slammed my godsdamn desk. I fucking called bullshit when Yang got a black and white portrait, I called bullshit when Julian called out to him. Why? Because the narrator dodn't show up.

Then he did. And he announced Yang'd death, 83 episodes in.

I'm actually crying as I write this.

This season is only pretty good. It had rocky moments of boredom, but also exhilarating highs.

Season 4 (87-110): 7/10

I unironically started caring again only at episode 89 with the whole, Reinhard & Mariendorf romance plot. I am happy that they have finally gotten married, and with an heir on the way!

I really just want someone to have a happy ending. Reuntal's fucking dead and I really think everyone's got the Earch Cult on their mind, but more on the backburner despite the riots, manipulations, and assassination of Wang Yenli that they did.

I get it, but still.

Reinhard is just fucked as a person. Every time he wants to fight, he almost immediately becomes bedridden with a fever.

I am glad with the Terraism people to be dead and gone. As far as we've been told at the end anyway.

Damn shame for Reinhard to go out, but yeah. Both geniuses are gone and the story ends.

I am teary-eyed to have finished the show and it it was a wonderful and beautiful ending.

#legend of the galactic heroes #anime review #show review

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entertaining-two · 3 months

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Percy Jackson & the Olympians final review

Pros:

So I just want to say props to everyone who made this because I think they did great with what they had. I also wanna preface this important point, I think a lot of the people digging into this show critically are not understanding that just because we grew up with the books when we were kids doesn’t mean this show is “meant” for us. I’m 26, did a lot of the plot points, fights, and problems seem kinda simple? Yes. But I also think given the amount of time in episodes they got to cram everything in, along with the fact that it is still directly geared towards an audience of like 8-14 year olds, if I were a kid I would’ve thought this shit was so fun. I wouldn’t have cared that the Ares Percy fight was a little quick, I would’ve just been excited he made it out. Idk I just don’t think that it was bad enough to say that the whole show was bad.

I really think the actors did a great job, all three of them really brought some life to the characters in ways we didn’t see in the movies. The actors playing the Gods I also really felt like they suited their parts equally.

I thought art direction, and shooting did great. The cabins and the camp looked so sick. Their trueness to the aesthetics described in the book captured the way it felt when I read it. Also this like cross country journey I felt like was also done well.

I have to also really praise the last like 2 episodes. I think those were their best. The last episode specifically. If I didn’t know Luke was the one to turn then I would have been so caught of guard. The kid playing Luke did a great job of not just being the “evil” guy but instead he’s a kid who’s been manipulated and you see that manipulation clearly in how he try’s to convince Percy.

Cons:

Timing they definitely deserve and need probably a full hour or closer to one. You can tell how pressed they are to fit things in and so I think giving them that extra time would help solve that issue.

I think bumping up the way they do sword action in general will be cool. They got us with the Luke fight in the end that one was great. So I think upping that as they all become better fighters will add a lot to things.

Finally I think building up a little more tension with different camera work would be nice. Things sometimes felt a little simple but that’s a small technicality.

So yeah overall I really enjoyed it. Again I think it is really geared towards the audience age matching the kids, which makes sense. I think viewing it as a full adult I can enjoy it ad my kid self and know it’s not necessarily paced for me.

But man was it fun to see these characters come to life in a way that feels more authentic to the original story. I so so badly hope they get green kit for the next season and 5 seasons more!!! As well as they better keep this energy and or bring it up even more honestly. I loved it and I’m obsessed.

#percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #percy jackson series #disney #disney plus #I swear Disney if you cancel this show I’ll scream

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whovianwatchingstartrek · 7 months

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A Whovian Watches Star Trek for the First Time: Part 051 - The Laser Ball of Doom

Star Trek: Enterprise - Season 2 Episode 26 - The Expanse

Another Season Finale! I'm curious to see what this one has to offer, the over-arching plot has been a lot less present this season than it was in Season 1, so I really don't know what's gonna happen here.

So the episode opens with a weird sphere thing showing up at earth then just carving a huge line into the planet. What this thing? Why a line? Why did it just vanish after drawing a single line? I guess we'll find out later.

The episode also opens with a follow on from last episode, with the Klingons discussing how Archer escaped them, and the Captain has gathered the whole crew together. Apparently the laser ball killed 7 million people, and Enterprise is being called home, at full Warp 5 speed. Trip, is understandably worried about his family. The Laser Ball had a pilot, but the species is unknown. Just as Archer is dealing with situation, he gets kidnapped by the Suliban. AND HE GETS TO MEET SHADOWY VILLAIN GUY!

Obviously Evil Shadowy villain guy says the laser ball was sent by a race called the Xindi, who have apparently been told humans will wipe them out in 400 years time, and are preparing an even bigger laser ball. Archer just trusts obviously evil shadowy villain guy on this for some reason, then is taken back to enterprise. But uh oh, then the Klingons show up.

A lot just keeps happening in this episode, and it really doesn't give you time to think about everything that keeps happening before moving on. Possibly intentional, but it's still jarring.

Apparently, the co-ordinates Archer was given are in a region of space called "The Delphic Expanse", a region of space where strange shit happens. So, Enterprise is being given some weapons upgrades. Soval seems desperate to stop Enterprise from going to the Delphic Expanse for some reason, first attempting to get a psychiatric analyst to declaring Archer unfit, then showing Archer and Admiral Forrest a video of a distress call from a Vulcan Ship the expanse. The video of the distress call is brilliantly shot, and on it's own would be a brilliant little piece of horror. But I'm not trusting them, the Vulcans have lied to us before, and I imagine they're hiding something there.

We also find out the Laser Ball carved right through trip's home town and killed his Sister. It's weird seeing Trip so Angry. Understandable, but still weird

Critical to T'Pol's character arc, Vulcan Command are recalling her to Vulcan, and she finally decides to disobey them, staying on Enterprise against their orders. Even fighting Archer to stay on board. Love to see it.

The Final fight between the Enterprise and the Klingon ship during the final stretch into the expanse was also great.

But the episode is clearly an allegory for 9/11 and the 2003 Iraq War. Not inherently a bad thing to Allegory, but if this is the direction season 3 is going to go in, I am worried about how little time passed between the event and the episode's production. Doctor Who also did a 9/11 Allegory, but that was in 2005, with a few more years of hindsight. When Doctor Who did it, it was a pretty good commentary on how much of a farce the Invasion of Iraq was, and more of a criticism of the response to 9/11. This episode was aired in May 2003 and very much doesn't have that hindsight, so I am worried it's going to play things a lot more straight, but I will remain cautiously optimistic.

I am really excited to see how the series plays with the Delphic expanse. A region of space where the normal laws of physics don't apply is super interesting, and I want to see what creative situations they can put the cast in with it. Onwards to Season 3

#whovian watching star trek #star trek #star trek enterprise #star trek ent #star trek: enterprise #enterprise #ent

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radroller · 1 year

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I finished Ginga…and Ginga S!

I wanted to look at both of these series as a package deal, partially because that’s what they are, but also because i find how they both serve as testing grounds for the New Generation Ultraman seasons in various ways.

Ginga has turned out to be one of my favorite Ultras for how unique it is. It trades the usual Tokyo skyline for a rustic environment. There’s no defense force, most villains of the week are humans that have been manipulated, and the story focuses on a group of friends reuniting at their run down school out in the sticks. It’s such an intimate little setup i can’t resist, even if it was likely a byproduct of the main thing the show is infamous for. Ginga had a low budget and you really start to feel it after a bit, and at first i was a little nervous about this. Im definitely not picky about that sort of thing but i was afraid that might color my judgment given how used i was to the standards set by 2010s Ultra seasons. And i can safely say that if you are at all apprehensive about Ginga for this reason, don’t be. The combination of the show’s amazing cast and superb direction really made the most of what they were able to do. And i wouldnt want it any other way. It may not have various tropes and iconography you associate with Ultraman, but even so it gets to the heart of what the series is all about, humans overcoming their selfishness and despair to reach their full potential and rise up and build a brighter future. Also Taro is there and you will love hi.

I assume Ginga was a success because by the time Ginga S came out it was clear Tsupro was much more willing to give them money to work with. All new sets, props, a defense force with various vehicles (part of a deal with Nissan i believe), the BEST city miniatures the series had ever seen, it’s all the stuff Ginga dreamed of having even if it didnt exactly need them. You could say S is a sort of victory lap for Ginga (no pun intended) and that’s kinda what i see it as. Because despite all of this i don’t quite like it as much as OG Ginga. It’s a perfectly solid Ultraman series, it’s just that Ginga gave me something I didn’t really know i needed. But that still makes it an 8/10 as opposed to Ginga’s 9/10, it’s not that huge of a difference and if you enjoyed Ginga you should definitely check out Ginga S to see all that it has going for it. Hikaru’s back, and while all of his friends from the first series reappear in some capacity, S gives us a whole slew of new characters to enjoy. This is the strongest thing about the show i feel, as new deuteragonist Ultraman Victory aka Sho, the UPG staff, and villainous android One Zero make for a fun circle of folks with fun dynamics. To say nothing of the fun one-off characters we get, this shit had me upset over fucking Gan Q. I think the only objective flaw with Ginga S to me is that most of the new villains aren’t all that interesting. This is remedied somewhat by a couple of things but i don’t wanna get into the details. The other thing, and this more of a personal issue, is how regrettably short it is. It’s paced perfectly for being a shorter season but i was left wanting more of all these characters and stuff! Which is funny because it’s actually longer than original Ginga. It’s like the bigger budget made me want it to stick around more while Ginga’s more modest resources kept them from overextending themselves. After that though Ultra would opt for 26 episode seasons, which i think is a perfect length. Again though this is just a personal thought, watch Ginga S and enjoy yourself!

I hope you enjoy Ginga and Ginga S as much as i have. I honestly thing Ginga is a good intro to Ultra, though some may disagree, and Orb remains my own go-to recc so take that as you will. But regardless i absolutely enjoyed my time with it and was pleasantly surprised by just how much i liked the whole thing.

#stephen watches ginga s #stephen watches ginga #ultraman ginga s #ultraman ginga

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bacchicly · 1 year

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Every Body Needs A Hobby

PART 3: NOT BOUND BY WHERE WE SHOW UP TO WORK: A RE-IMAGINING OF SEASON 15 GARVEZ

Also on Tumblr PART 1 | PART 2

On AO3 : Part 1 | Part 2 | This one!

CM EPISODE: N/A - Between Season 14 & 15

Content: Graphic Garvez Sex; Erotic Baked Goods; Extremely silly prose with a lot of references to food/baking/cooking; A recipe for gimmick icing that I haven’t tried (yet). WAY TOO MANY WORDS.

Dedicated to: My husband who listened when I read him bits and bites of the prose that you are hopefully about to enjoy for MONTHS and didn’t divorce me (or ban me from our kitchen).

Word Count: Approx. 12,000 – aka you may want to make sure you’re hydrated and pack a lunch before you begin - I can’t believe this is so long!

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1 Set up a workspace near your stove with sugar for sweetness, flour for body, tonic water for glow. Don’t forget some colour and flavour!

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Across the street from Penel- NO!

Be professional.

GARCIA’S apartment building, Luke sits in his car - trying to decide what to do next.

He had tried casually sending Penelope a lighthearted slightly jokey (grovelling) text the day after the wedding - no response.

Then, after 26 hours (and 42 seconds… but who was counting?), he debated sending an email to explain but instead had bullied himself into calling.

The phone had gone directly to voicemail

She had never called back.

He’s not totally surprised by her behaviour - after all, he had been the one to have something that resembled a mini freakout when she invited him to come back to her place after the wedding. He remembers uncomfortably how he had made some inarticulate excuse about needing to go home to Roxy (who was at the sitters and so was totally fine).

Now, he feels like it’s getting down to crunch time - either he tracks PenerGarcia down so that they can have some sort of conversation and figure out together “what’s next” - or he plays the waiting game until presumably they return to work and what happens happens.

DAMN IT.

His stomach knots at the prospect as he curses himself for the billionth time for not accepting her invitation to 'come up'… but it all felt so unreal after being given such incredible head in the damn hot air balloon… and she had said it was just two tipsy single people hooking up at a wedding… “no commitment” she had said…

…but she had also said there would be a “later”...

CURSES.

Luke bangs his head against the steering wheel. What a mess. He just wants to talk. Make sure there are no weird feelings. That everything will be cool at work. Nothing more. Just talk.

Liar. You just want to talk like the Cookie Monster prefers broccoli to chocolate chips.

Fuck it. He’ll bite the bullet and head up to her place and knock.

What’s the worst that can happen?

Gritting his teeth, Luke opens his truck and grabs the bottle of locally brewed gin and the fancy tonic water he picked up at the farmer’s today - at least he’s bringing a peace offering…

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2 If it’s not too much to ask, you’ll also need a saucepan, measuring cups and spoons, a whisk, a small rubber spatula, several small jars and paint brushes…

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Penelope Grace Garcia is absolutely furious. Or maybe it's nervous? Or embarrassed? Or worried? Or maybe happy and excited? Or just really horny? Or - No. Definitely furious. Angry. Mad. Enraged. Outraged. Irate. Cross. Indignant. Apoplectic.

Dare she think it? That she is…

at your boiling point?

STUPID SMIRKING BRAIN - SHUT UP!

oh fiddle-dee-dee such a tempest in a teapot

over a little bit of… of…

of crumpet…

…well maybe not a little bit…

SHUT UP! HOW COULD I HAVE LET THIS HAPPEN?

how couldn't you?

SHUT! UP! BRAIN! CAN'T YOU SEE I AM BAKING DELECTABLE UNIQUE GOODIES?

…you've done little else for days!

Just call him back…

…..at least text him…

The poor man does not deserve to be burned this way…

and the team may have this week off - but unless you QUIT…

YOU are going to be seeing HIM at work on Monday!

Do you really want-

I SAID SHUT UP BRAIN! I HAVE NO TIME FOR PHONE CALLS OR YOUR… YOUR… TASTELESS PAP…THIS…THIS… FABULOUS ICING IS NOT GOING TO MAKE ITSELF!

Oh Penny-my-love…

….where did my brilliant brave modern multi-tasking “takes what she wants and has no regrets” woman get to?

I. AM. WHISKING!

To be frank, Penelope Grace Garcia knows her brain is right. She has been hiding behind a flurry of confectioner's sugar ever since she woke up - alone - the day after Rossi's wedding and the incredibly mindblowing ridiculously unbelievably wonderful sexIsodes (two!) starring one Super Special Sexy Agent Luke Alvez.

The day after the wedding, Matt and Kristy and the kids had invited her in to join them for dinner when she dropped by unexpectedly with a tin of puppy shaped cupcakes - but, of course, she couldn't stay… she had more baking to do…more edible joy to whip up …more not calling… not texting… not thinking… not remembering… not hoping…

Next, she surprised Reid with a cake which had been sculpted into a three dimensional model of the oxytocin molecule…with uplifting quotes from his favourite authors, theorists, and Doctor Who… carefully penned with edible markers…afterall it was her duty to cheer him up since he had been looking extra tense lately…even for him.

(Oxytocin may be called the love hormone and flow freely during sex…but that was NOT why it had popped into her mind to use that particular molecule to show some love to her super genius best friend…it could be a friendly hormone too!)

Then there were the diamond chocolatines for Emily.

(Penelope is pretty sure..hopes.. they didn't look as much like miniature yearning yonis to her boss as they had to her feverish imagination as she pulled the chocolatey delights from the oven.)

.. and a dozen deliciously mouthwateringly beautiful loaves of homemade cinnamon swirl bread to J.J.'s.

(which Penelope is CONFIDENT would have looked nothing like erect penises to normal individuals…they were just loaves of bread! It was just her stupid-should-really-just-shut-up brain that would look at them and race back to a certain dishy coworker's glorious…um…)

So what if her cookie tins are bursting with intricately decorated - um - definitely naughty cookies that she has no idea what to do with! Maybe Tara would think they were funny?

(Although maybe that was a bad idea…after all Tara is both a trained profiler and psychologist…and there was no way these cookies are…y'know….just cookies.)

Penelope refuses to even think about what possessed her to whip up the double batch of organic dog biscuits a few hours ago.

And now…now…NOW…she is experimenting with one of a few bod- ICING - recipes she had found online last night…to decorate the last few naked - no! - UNDECORATED cookies left to tackle.

DON’T THINK. JUST WHISK!

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3. In the saucepan, mix together 2 tablespoons sugar and 1/3 cup flour.

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Luke, congratulating himself on slipping into the building behind a pizza delivery guy and finding his way to Penelope’s door, reminds himself firmly that he is an ex-Army Ranger - one of the FBI’s finest - a ready-for-anything kind of fellow and he is not afraid of fall out due to a little casual sex with a coworker.

HA!

Finally, after a couple false starts he swallows hard and lifts his knuckles against her door and…

Tap. Tappy-tap-tap. Tap. Tap!

Good lord it’s like he’s in a 1940s rom com. TAP. TAPPY-TAP-TAP. TAP. TAP??? What is this a club house? Secret knock central? ToonTown?!?!?! Ridiculous.

He hears a rustle and that voice that has made him laugh (ok yes more than just laugh - grin beam giggle jibber groan - no!). Just laugh. …more times than he can count… calling from beyond the door.

"Be there in a Jif! I am going to open the door and just scoot back to the stove because apparently this edible pa-uh-goo-i-mean icing needs to be stirred pretty much constantly...I didn't know you were coming by tod–"

The door swings open and she clearly didn't check the peephole 'cus her face falls like cake made with overmixed batter when she sees who it is.

"YOU are NOT Dr. Super Genius Spencer Reid. How dare you trick me into opening the door with his special secret knock!"

She's done it again. His face cracks into a grin like an egg - but not just any egg - one destined to be served as chocolate chip pancakes in bed.

She's being ridiculous - as usual - and the apron she's wearing…?

She looks like an irate bonbon and it takes practically all of his will power not to drop the breakables and leaping-tackle-kiss her to the carpet to unwrap/devour her DELECTABLE self.

Talk. He is here to talk. Just talk. But teasing is talking right?

"Chica - I've got news for you," he wraps his knuckles on the doorframe: tap tappy-tap-tap tap tap, "Shave and a haircut:Two Bits is nobody's super secret knock."

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4. Slowly add 2 cups of tonic water – there will be a bit of bubbling because the tonic water is carbonated.

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Penelope flushes to the shade of Lowny's hotlips (Luke's favourite candy), throws her hands up, splutters something that sounds suspiciously like "Of course! Toons can never resist the old shave and haircut bit", and stomps back to her stove concoction.

"C'mon Newbie, you've finally cornered me - but I have glo-uh something on the stove - so you can talk while I whisk - although I really don't need to hear the old-"

"Penel-"

Luke follows her into the kitchen.

"-it was a mistake and can never happen again and let's stay just good-"

"Pen-"

He puts down the bottles on the floor since every inch of counter space is covered in used mixing bowls or cooling baked goods or ingredients.

"-friends. I get it. It was an amazingly wonderful-"

"Penny?!"

Luke stares at a rack of cooling cookies that he is pretty sure depict couples (some mlw, some wlw, some mlm) in various sexual positions - if they are doing what he thinks they are doing - their little cookie selves are clearly enjoying their trysts.

"-but one time thing AND we said no commitment AND we work-"

"Penny?"

Her name is softer this time. Wondering.

The cookies seem to be hand shaped - not the result of some purchased set of erotic cookie cutters. Hand shaped. By Penelope Garcia.

"-together. There's nothing - nada - zero - you need to explain. So let's just skip it all ok-eek!"

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5. Heat the saucepan and mix the ingredients together.

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Luke, who clearly is not going to get a word in edgewise, presses himself against her back - nuzzling her neck - breathing her in - cinnamon and vanilla - arms sliding around her - slipping under her frilly pink leopard print apron - relishing the feeling of his palms filled with handfuls of her body again.

If only she was naked.

Penelope moans low.

If only he was naked.

He can't help it - he licks up her neck like he did the ice cream treat he enjoyed on the last case - and then, as with the ice cream, he half bites half suckles her earlobe.

Then his voice - thick like honey - murmurs, "Penelope - did you ever consider that I might have a different dish in mind than the one you were just cooking up in your brain? That maybe…maybe…I could never be satisfied with just one taste of you?"

Penelope - who has been simmering on the edge of boiling for days - can hardly stand it. She wants to…needs to…turn in his arms - lick his stubbly cheek - devour his mouth with wide wet open mouthed ravenous kisses - knead the hard muscles in his shoulders - his upper arms - down his back.

But ..but…

"I. HAVE. TO. WHISK!"

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6.Stir continually - approximately 12 to 15 Minutes.

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"How long?" The question is wrapped in chocolate and whipped cream and ends with his hands swirling up over her body to hold her breasts - squeezing gently as if to test for ripeness.

Penelope's eyes flit up to her kitchen clock like she's sending up a prayer.

"Ten to twelve minutes? I have to whisk until it's ah thick." Penelope whines the last words - although to Luke's ears it is like a sip of dry white wine - refreshingly intoxicatingly tart - and he wants to drain the glass and pour another.

"Well I don't know about you - but I've waited for days…what's a few more minutes? You whisk - I'll find something to keep me busy."

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7. Make sure it does not boil!

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She's still whisking - but the frantic action which paired her pre-emptive monologue and made her bracelets bounce - has slowed and - oh fuck - the motion is rocking her back against him.

Luke's cock rises higher - warm and firm - like baking bread - rising against the toothsome curve of her ass.

(Now admittedly, his cock has been semi-hard since laying eyes on her - ok since sitting in the car thinking about coming up to see her - ok since he woke the morning after Rossi's wedding …with only a few moments here and there of sweet relief after 'pulling his own taffy' so to speak…but still this this is so so so much better.)

Ten to twelve minutes? Despite his earlier words Luke wonders if he's going to make it. Something about this woman gives him the appetites of a much much younger man - oh fuck - especially when she grinds back against him like that.

And - oh fuck - whimpers like that…

Oh fuck, indeed. He's definitely not going to make it… well, not without 'frosting his shorts', at least.

His eyes fall back onto the cooling erotic cookies and, in particular, a busty confection giving a little sugar to her partner while standing - her cookie head thrown back in ecstasy as his cookie cock takes her from behind.

"Penelope? Y'know what?"

"What?"

Her voice is distracted.

Airy.

Bubbling with something he thinks is want.

It sounds the way he feels.

Ten to twelve minutes is hardly a blink of an eye when it comes to 'Foreplay à la Luke Alvez''…BUT by anyone's standards…it’s more than enough time for a ‘Three Michelin Starred’ Quickie...

He makes a decision…and his cock throbs in anticipation.

“Penelope? What would you say to a little Afternoon Delight? You whisk and I'll serve up a little vertical refreshment… an appetiser now and then if you have the appetite…the full course meal could come - cum and cum and cum and cum - LATER."

As each 'cum' roles off his tongue - Luke pulses into her - tugs one or the other of the gumdrops that are her nipples through her apron and shirt - nuzzles closer - and the echoes of "LATER" crystalize the molten emotions running through Penelope's body into golden threads of desire.

Luke picks up the cookie that has inspired him and holds it up for her to see. He senses her swallowing hard.

"What do you say, Penny? Wanna bite?"

He presses the cookie to her closed lips.

Penelope is starving - ravenous for his touch - for the feel of him filling her again. But…but…

Oh! What can it hurt? A last meal, so to speak, before going back to reality?

She opens her mouth and takes a bite of the offered cookie.

The cookie is perfect - even if she does say so herself - sweet and chewy with just enough snap.

Luke watches the profile of this woman - this woman to whom he is unbelievably attracted - watches as she slowly chews and then swallows - her beautiful lips curling into an indulgent smile.

Penelope, still whisking, turns her head for a kiss. Lips taste lips.

Finally.

Luke pulls her even closer and heat floods their bodies. Penelope reaches up and back with her free hand - threading her fingers into his hair - cupping the back of his head - pulling him deeper into the kiss. Their tongues taste and tangle.

The kiss is both a feast in itself and…yet… mere crumbs compared to that which they are now both are sure is on the menu.

As Penelope's hunger for Luke's touch grows - the voice in her head suggests that maybe - just maybe - she could abandon the culinary experiment that she is currently whisking. Just turn off the stove and turn on Luke instead… while another part of her thinks that perhaps she should finish whipping up the confection but switch its purpose from a frosting for cookie people to a frosting for the gorgeous man who has invaded her kitchen.

The argument is so fierce that she speaks her dilemma:

"Maybe I don't need to finish this? I could turn the stove off? We could…?"

What they could do sifts between them - glazed eyes fixed on each other… then…almost as if against his own will…Luke swallows and scrapes out:

"What is it? Just icing?"

And even as he says it - Luke knows that Penelope would never make 'just icing'. Nothing touched by Penelope is ever not infused with her special brand of muchness - he can practically feel her touch transforming him into something more special - more worthy - more free and blessed and (dare he say it?) sprinkled and sparkly?

"It's supposed to be an edible paint that glows in the dark - to decorate the…"

The pause brims with shimmering scrumptious possibilities.

"...cookies."

"You-" Luke half chokes on what he's saying - licks his lips and clears his throat and then in a savoury whisper: "Penelope. Please. Don't. Stop. Whisking."

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8 To test, stop stirring and lift the whisk so you can see exactly how freely the mixture is flowing.

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His far hand runs down her arm until his fingers touch hers - engulfs her hand that is poised - frozen - holding the whisk. At his touching reminder - Penelope answers with renewed stirring and so, he kisses her.

Hard. Brief. A resolution. A promise.

Then, looking into her eyes, with the tambour of his words cast iron wrapped in caramel, Luke places an order:

"You pay attention to the stove, Penelope. I'll pay attention to you. Do not burn yourself or me or the icing. Oh, and Penelope? If you stop stirring? I stop."

And with that Luke steps away - and under Penelope's ravenous gaze - he pulls first his shirt over his head - then toes off his shoes - then, to the sound of a Penelope gasp, shucks off pants and underwear and socks - until he stands before as golden and naked as any of her cookies. Beautiful.

Penelope can't help it; she laughs in joy and smiles oh so so wide. He is so mouthwateringly gorgeous and he is being so silly and incongruously stern and all over generous. And it just makes her SMILE.

And now he is doing a little dance and stepping back towards her - grinning his fool head off because her smile makes him stupidly ridiculously happy and she is too far away - so… step step… and he pulls her back in his arms - her back presses to his chest as he hugs her - snuggling in close - half chiding himself for so easily dropping the commanding persona he had adopted earlier sex play - but she is too luscious today for anything fierce - he is too happy and she looks and smells and feels too wonderful for anything but goofy joyous rambunctious sugary fun…so he will draw her out - tease her - tickle her - and the more fierce serious passion that was a moment ago?

Later. Oh yes. Later. But now? Oh yes. Now! Now.

And with that thought, Luke pulls her even closer, her clothing a sea of sensations against his nude flesh. He grinds against her - a recipe for a moan if ever there was one - and then swings around her - a bit like she’s the pole and he’s the dancer - sliding down until he is knelt in front of her - between her and the stove.

Luke runs his hands down her legs and then back up under the robin egg blue skirt that peekaboos out from under her pink print apron. He keeps expecting his fingers to brush up against the edges of her panties but it never happens; instead, his fingers tangle in her tight curls. He lets out a hum at the deliciousness of it. Luke lifts skirt and apron over his head and dives into the delectable darkness - pressing cheek, then nose, then open mouth against her curls - into the fold between plump thigh and belly - breathing her in - tasting her - his hands cup the naked rounds of her ass - drawing her closer - kissing closer and closer to the nub of nerves until the flat of his tongue is pressed against her clit - and then - oh and then? Luke starts to round his tongue to match the rhythm of the whisk scraping round the bottom of the pot - the metal on metal ting-zzipppp-ting-zippp the perfect accompaniment to his lavish licks and curling flat tongue pressing her flesh in bodacious arcs. Penelope can’t help but pant.

“L-Luke. Oh! Oh! Oh my! Oh!”

As his touch and her want combine - Penelope falters with the stirring and as her hand pauses with the whisk mid-circle - so does his tongue. His tongue holds hard and steady against her clit - it’s intense but not enough - but he holds her still with hands on her thighs so she can’t thrust against his mouth to gain the friction she wants - needs. Oh no. Penelope half-wails half-moans and gives the icing a little stir in frustration and Luke - dear sweet Luke - matches the motion with his tongue and the light goes on somewhere in her sex soaked brain - and she whisks again - a long slow sweep around the pot - and again he matches her movement exactly - then again presses hard and still against her when she pauses. She has complete control - he is nothing but a delighted sous chef - the power of the moment thrums through Penelope as she begins again to…whisk...and he begins to… oh my… indeed.

Penelope draws the inside of her lower lip between her teeth - sharp and comforting - as the play of his tongue and the headiness of controlling the moment transforms her body into a swelling pressure cooker of arousal - when Luke starts to embellish his licks and sucks with hearty growls and robust nuzzling - Penelope’s head spins like sugar. Luke delights in the half swallowed cries bursting from her mouth somewhere over his head as he fills her order - matching her now almost frantic whisking with his circling lashings - giving her an extra sharp lick with pointed tongue whenever the metal of the utensil clinks against the side of the pot - making her body jerk against his strong grasp on the back of her thighs - his hold essential to her staying vertical since Penelope’s legs are jelly.

Her gooey centre churns in exaltation and her free hand is heavy on Luke’s shoulder - steadying her further but also adding spice - her perfectly manicured fingers kneading deep with each wave of sensation.

Faces flush. Penelope’s breasts strain and heave under her apron. Her hips thrust involuntarily but rhythmically as Luke begins to suck her clit instead of lick - still matching the pace of her frantic stirring… hh hhh hhh hhh hhh hh hh hhh… higher and higher… tight fast…tighter…faster…round …and round ...and round…and round and clink and ahhhh and oh oh oh! and…

"I-O-!"

Something works free inside of Penelope and her mouth opens wider with a “Luke!? Luuuuuuuuke!” and then her mouth is slack open - then stretches in an almost O - throat taught and her chin lifted - but then he sees her swallow and knows she is not quite quite done - no not quite - but oh close…so close… and the jolt of it takes all the energy out of her stirring and the whisk stutters through the icing as her hand goes slack like her lips… and Luke?

He is as good as his word - his mouth goes into slow mo as the stirring stills. Oh, he stays pressed at the jointure of her thighs but they just hang together - open wide against each other…Penelope catching her breath…Luke breathing deep through his nose… sensing exactly how close to ready she is…

Then…with a shuddering breath… Penelope starts to stir again - a slow broad sweep of her whisk through the sticky confection… and Luke - bless him - senses her movement - and twins it - but now instead of a licking lapping tongue - or a dizzying sucking - his whole mouth is flush with her quim and he rolls his neck - letting his mouth drag and press round in a wide round swooping circle - round and round - round and round - round and round - and Penelope while soused by the sensations - stays steady and slow - minute over minute over minute - round and round and round and round - their breaths matching - in and out - and round and round and round - her sense of him thickening along with the icing - and the languorous intoxicating build suffusing her body with heavy creamy pleasure previously unimagined - they are drunk on each other - mesmerised by their own rhythms and the sugary fumes of the baking.

Luke’s knees tingle from kneeling - his cheeks wet and stinging - his hands full of sweet Penelope - but he never ever falters - just keeps on matching her rhythm - breathing in her tangy musky pleasure - resisting the urge to gobble her up and instead savouring every moment - round and round and round and round and..he is sozzled,,,befuddled..bemused…how did this happen… how could it not?

How oh how did he let it take this long…. oh yes…oh yes - and now, she is speeding up just a touch - her hand and breathing taking a heavier turn.. the whisk pushed hard and scrapping against the bottom of the pot with each jabbing stir.. so Luke pushes his tongue down - licking a hard line down over her clit and then pushes up and rigid - up into her welcoming cunt - high and hard and with each hard scraping turn of her whisk - tongue fucks her - deep plump thrusts - hands gliding up from her thighs to the rounds of her ass - pulling her tighter against him - up and in - up and in - up and in - not fast but hard and deep - stroking out until she is empty and only the tip of his tongue flirts with her opening - and then another deep sheathing - Penelope realises just in time that there is no turning back this time - and she stretches to flip off the burner - the whisk falling to the side of the pot - but Luke knows better than to stop now - two hands on his shoulders now - as she keens into the otherwise silent kitchen - and she rides his tongue - in and out - in and out - as she is whipped into hard peaks - higher and higher - his fingers dig into the ripe flesh of her ass - ten red circles decorating her flesh - and Penelope is shaking - baking - rocking - rolling - quivering and then begging - please - now - more! More! MORE! PLEASE SIR COULD I HAVE SOME MORE?!?!

And Luke is THERE! SECOND THIRD AND FOURTH HELPINGS OF WHAT SHE WANTS ARE HEAPED UPON HER…and then? OH AND THEN???? SHE IS THERE! And Goddess Almighty!?! And oh? my? oh! my! and then? oh yum and damn and yum and fuck and oh…oh…OH…OH….and YESSSSSSSSS! OH YESSS! OH LUKE LUKE LUKE LUKE L..uke..luke..l. oh my luke..oh. my.. oh. my… oh.. oh.. m-m-my. oh my luke.. until all is richness and flavour and zest and… and… and… mm-mmm-mmmmmmmmmmm-nnnnn-nn-OHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Penelope shatters like toffee brittle - crumbles like buttery pie crust - boils over into oblivion until finally… finally…finally all is silence and stillness.

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9 When ready it will be a very light gold, with no bubbles left, and perfectly thick.

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A tendril of hair clings to Penelope’s moist cheek as she slumps against the naked man who kneels at her feet. Polka dots of frosting seem to cloud her vision - sweet syrupy pleasure ropes through her body - she is done.

Luke carefully unwraps his mouth from between her thighs - then, making sure to lend Penelope his steadiness, he rises as smoothly as his tingling legs and insistent cock allows - part holding this gorgeous woman up - part climbing her hand over hand - until he stands before her. Penelope’s unfocused gaze is cotton candy soft but roves over his face - his cheeks and chin and lips are glazed in her juices - a dimple pops on her cheek as her lips curl in pillowy satisfaction.

Luke can’t look away - can’t move - as Penelope closes the distance between them to lick a bead of moisture from his upper lip. It tastes of sweat and herself but she has but a blink to savour it because suddenly Luke pulls her tight against him - his hard proud cock tangled in the swinging fabric of her apron - pushing against her belly - and he is kissing her like he is a starving man and she is a full-course meal - Penelope is snapped like a ginger biscuit into the here and now and she too is suddenly starving again - hands and mouths ravenously gobble up every sensation - rubbing - roving - wildly over the other - neither feeling like they will never be able to get enough.

Luke’s need is even stronger than hers though - he has yet to be satisfied and his insides are molten with an urge to take - to plunge - to pillage - to feast - his lips are at her nape - suckling deep and urgently - then at her ear - rasping: “Pen - I - now?” and her gasped reply is just what he is seeking “Condom?”

Luke’s brain soaks in the memory of slipping a condom 'overly optimistically' into his pants pocket that morning. “One second.” He dives for his pants and triumphantly removes the shiny foil package - ripping it open with his teeth - stupidly flattered by Penelope’s bemused face as she braces herself against the stove at the sudden loss of his body and the apparent requirement that she stare dumbly at his beautiful body as he rolls the rubber onto his rampantly exquisite cock with deft fingers.

Her pink tongue flicks out and licks her lips at the sight and then, like an embodiment of one of her sexy cookies, she turns back to the stove - bracing her hands on the edge of the cooktop - leaning forward - her breasts swaying heavily down under her shirt and apron - wiggling her butt in invitation - spicy smile turned towards him.

Luke swallows hard - his throat rippling - stepping forward - tossing up her skirt - hands moulding the globes of her ass and then pulling her hips to him - so she tilts just so - opening to him. He runs the tip of his cock up the seam between her cheeks - the condom has some sort of ice cold cooling action - so the line he traces buzzes against her skin.

Moments ago Penelope would have told you she was completely satisfied that there was nothing else she needed…possibly ever…but now? Now her body clamours its impatience - she wants to feel his cock sliding inside her. Have they really only done this once before? It seems so right. So essential. What is he waiting for? Now! Now!

The thoughts turn to words and she pleads with him “Now Luke. Please. Please. I need you inside me right now.”

Luke looks down at where he is about to make their bodies one - hardly believing that he is going to take her for the second time without undressing her! Who has he become? But every fibre of his body is pointed towards the heart of her - urging him to skewer her - broach her most private place - quench their mutual thirsts with thrust after thrust after thrust…he may not have it in him to deny her request but he makes himself hang back for a heartbeat - two - three - savouring the moment - her spread before him - the feel of her hips under his fingers - the sensory symphony offered by the surrounding baked goods - the taste of her salty sweat and husky juices which still coat his tongue - the sight of her robins egg blue skirt bunched across the small of her back - crowned with the pink loose bow of her apron - the frustrated whistle of her breath hugging the word “Please”...

It takes all of his control to enter her slowly. Penelope is a wet molten silk embrace - loose from the loving of his tongue but tooth-achingly enveloping sweet as his cock pushes into her body. All of him centres on where his body is now encased by hers and oh he is all throb and want and desperation. Again and again - teeth-grittingly slowly he pulls out - now it is his cock instead of his tongue which flirts with her opening - and then inchmeal pushes steadily back in - his bare toes curling against the linoleum.

Penelope tries to buck against him - speed things up - but Luke is stronger and holds her in place. The tang of her frustrated bliss perfumes the air as he ruthlessly relentlessly drives her higher and higher…the iron will of ‘If you stop stirring - I stop Luke’ is back in control.. although heaven only knows how long it can hold on.

Each thrust is a lucious test of his will - until his fancy manners are suddenly pushed to their limit and all he can do is hold on as his body demands that he gorge himself with the feel of her perfect body - his thrusts become almost drunken - dazed - driven with a need that rips him into ragged chunks - chews him up - consumes every nerve - every inch - burns through him and drives him in and out of her faster and faster. Hotter. Wetter. A slapping perfect fit. Faster and faster. Tighter and higher.

Penelope can do nothing more than hang on as he pummels her into the shape of another perfect orgasm. The heat from the now cooling burner can hardly compete with the combustion of feeling and emotion broiling deep within her - stark against his ice sheathed cock - spiralling her higher and higher. She sucks in air - her cheeks hollowing - her lips folded tight - then pursing - then stretching wide as she is pounded and pounded and pounded from behind.

Oh fuck!

Penelope needs to - must - cry out. Swear. Hollar. But instead she silently screams - her lips and cheeks stretching wider and tighter - because oh goddess he is making these grunts and little shouts and moans that are just sending her - somehow filling her - stuffing her - even more then his glorious cock could ever on its own - and she refuses to miss a single morsel of what this man is giving her. She can hear his sounds change as he gets closer and closer to cumming - getting almost shrill - urgent like a kettle screaming for release - instinctively she milks his cock with her cunt muscles - clenching him closer - sharply augmenting the bliss of the almost imperceptible rests which punctuate Luke's now feverishly erratic strokes.

A ripe fresh sound is plucked from somewhere near Luke's heart as he slams one last final time into Penelope's body - cum overflows from boiling balls - pumping out in stream after shuddering stream deep inside his lover's body. He is no longer simple Luke Alvez but a tingling shouting embodiment of sweet decadent all-encompassing release. Ever balls deep inside, he sprawls onto her back, and it is this unchecked weight of him - the hot cold of his sweaty chest soaking the back of her shirt - that ignites Penelope's orgasm. Unlike her first, which was an outward explosion that sapped her and would have toppled her if not for Luke… this one, while just as powerful, folds inward like a pressure cooker doing it's magic as she holds strong and supports them both through the wracking shared stew of rapture and the semi-sweet aftershocks.

Finally, Luke settles. His spent dick slips messily from her body - but still he is draped across her - his fingers loosening their grip on her hips - his arms wrapping around her in a hug - one arm around her belly - the other across her chest hand resting over her heart- his cheek pressed high on the flat of her shoulder blade.

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10 Let it cool a little.

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They stay like that for a very very long time.

Eventually, as one, they untangle and Penelope pulls a square of paper towel (100% recycled) from the roll and passes it to Luke who uses it to wrap up the spent condom.Then...with silent agreement go hand in hand - a glazed duo - to her bedroom.

Something about crossing the threshold into her cozy lair of a bedroom awakens Luke to…something.

What is this? He had just come here to talk and…

Luke drops her hand - pauses in the doorway - neither in nor out.

“Penel-”

Now it is Penelope who is snapped out of the delicious daze - and she just comes at him - talking a mile a minute.

“Luke Alvez you just shush! I thought I told you...I get it… no commitment… one time thing…well - two time thing - maybe three depending on how one counts - but we do not have to talk about it! And frankly - since we’re already in the midst of time number two…or three…I see absolutely no reason to- we’re coworkers…plus you’re on rebound and that just breaks so many rules…and…so let’s just enjoy what today has cooked up…unless you don’t want anymore? Is that what you were about to say? That you’ve had sufficient? That the appetiser was enough? Have I assumed more than I should? I just thought you still would want - but was going to make some boring hero-complex speech to make sure I wasn’t about to catch feelings or something crass like that. You don’t have to worry. I mean I’m sappy but we all know I’m a total commitment-phobe so I don’t think you need to worry about me becoming all clingy or embarrassing or anything… I mean the sex is fantastic and I’d like to continue - it’s such a delicious use of our last day off - but if you want to go… no hard feelings ok?”

Penelope smiles then and blithely presses a kiss to his cheek looking so earnestly up at him that he could throttle something. What is it about women like Penelope believing that most men would rather eat dirt than have them fall in love with them?

Luke’s stares blankly as his brain scrambles.

He was actually about to say something like “Penelope - I am so happy this is finally happening - I think I have been in love with you since about 4 seconds after Rossi introduced us. I know we said ‘no commitment’ but maybe we should rethink this? Maybe we should just go for it. Have our cake and eat it too?” but Penelope’s mini rant meltdown whatever it was speech has swallowed that impulse.

Or at least to say it out loud.

He might have been not totally sure when he opened his mouth a moment ago of his feelings - but having her preemptively shut down his declaration of love has made it crystal clear to him exactly how he feels and what he wants: Penelope.

He wants to live with and love Penelope Garcia for the rest of his life and he wants her to want it too - which apparently she does not.

Yet.

One thing he does know though - is she is not lying when she describes herself as a commitment-phobe - just fighting to be her friend has been a huge battle… getting her to admit to herself… to him.. that she might love him? Convince her that she can truly completely trust him - love him? That is going to be a war. But suddenly - it’s one he knows he is going to win - or die trying. But softly softly.

Luke takes both of her hands in his and looks seriously down into her worried earnest face. He lets himself smile just a pinch - a twinkle - feeling like this might be the most strategic encounter of his life. This. This is when he proves that thing he told her in the elevator all those years ago: Luke Alvez, behavioural analyst. That's what I do.

“Penelope - I… all I was going to say was that I didn’t have any other condoms and ask if you did - because I really really really am excited about the main course and don’t even get me started about how much I am looking forward to dessert. But if I need to step out and get-”

“Oh. No. I.. yeah.. I uh sure do. And stop smirking Mr. Punky Newbster! I totally didn't pick up the brand new fancy mixed pack I’m about to pull out of my nightstand for any reason having to do with you - so you can save your knowing smirks."

Damn it. She's making him laugh again.

Luke holds up his hands as if warding off the idea as preposterous even if his grin betrays him. “Never!”

“Oh you…you..you…Newbie!” Her words are paired with a Perfectly Penelope Huff, Spin on Her Heels, and Stomp OffTM but he can hear the pure joy percolating under the act. She’s back with him and her back is to him. He reaches out and grabs one of the ties of her apron - laughing a bit at how her skirt is still bunched up at the back - not as high as it was in the kitchen but the curve of her ass peekaboos at him from under the uneven hem - a luscious reminder that HE HAS YET TO SEE HIS NEWLY ACKNOWLEDGED LOVE OF HIS LIFE FULLY UNDRESSED! So, with a new resolve to at least make love to her whole body - even if he is not yet allowed to make love to her whole self… Luke tugs the captured tie.

Penelope - of course - has double knotted the apron. So instead of untying the bow - his tug pulls her back to him - and for the umpteenth time in this particular interlude she finds herself pulled into a backwards hug - her butt snug against his groin - her back plastered against his chest. His words spooned directly from his mouth into her ear.

“Lots of time for getting those fancy condoms you got for some unspecified reason having nothing to do with yours truly… but you know what really needs to be done a la minute? Getting your toothsome body out of all this extra clothing… I’m getting lonely over here.”

Penelope turns in his arms and slides her palms up his chest until they drape around his neck - she sways just like when they were dancing at Rossi’s wedding - dimpling up at him. “Oh don’t you mean jealous? After all - I've been treated to the full monty - but you’ve never gotten even close to unwrapping the goods.”

“Exactly. I’m absolutely green over here. Just call me Mr Broccoli,” Luke dips his mouth then and catches her lips in a kiss.

“Mmm. You don’t taste like broccoli.”

“No? What do I taste like?”

Penelope kisses him again as if on a quest to detect exactly what flavour notes can be found on his lips. A little tasting kiss. Then another. Then another. Then another. A nip. A lick. A kiss on the corner. Then another more centred. Testing. Tasting. And then a deep swigging kiss that Luke can’t help but be swallowed up by.

Finally she breaks the kiss - smiling up into his eyes. “You taste like midnight in a hot air balloon - and sneaking away from the party - and sugar cookies - and dumb jokes - and body rush. Exquisite.”

And then she kisses him again - roving and hungry - until he pushes them apart with shaky hands because his heart is starting to pound and his cock awaken - urging him to take her again - sooner than later without anymore preamble or play - but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t see her naked before losing his head again….damned if he doesn’t paint her body with that warm sugary concoction they left on the stove.

“I think you said something about wanting to take these clothes off me? But maybe that could wait? No time like the present for a little snack break?” Her smile is warm honeyed milk as she sinks to her knees at his feet - clearly intending to take her turn bestowing pleasure with her mouth. His cock jumps at her suggestion and with a self-satisfied smile she presses one of those little tasting kisses to his cock.

Even though he is very tempted to just give in - see what Penelope is thinking of serving up - Luke is conscious of how much time he squandered - how much more he wants to do before this strange erotic illusion ends - so instead - with a salty grin down at her - he steps away and says “I have an even better idea! Wait here!”

Now it is Luke who turns on his heel. Leaving Penelope shaking her head and holding her cheeks which are now spread by a disbelieving but truly pleased smile - he heads back to the kitchen…

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11 Divide up into jars, add colour…and maybe just a little flavour to taste.

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Beside the stove is a printed recipe - he picks it up and reads… then as carefully as he can with shaking hands - he pours some of still warm icing into one the three glass jars Penelope had clearly left out for this purpose - adding a few drops of red and blue food colouring since purple is definitely a Penelope approved hue - and then, on a whim, adds a splash of the fancy gin he brought - mixing it with a paint brush. He brushes a taste onto his tongue… not bad… not bad at all…

With his prize, Luke practically skips back to the bedroom. He carefully sets the little pot of the edible paint on her vanity and then turns to Penelope with his best snooty Maitre D impression offers a dignified hand to the still kneeling Penelope.

“Now you, my dear, I am terribly sorry, but I have to inform you that you are extremely overdressed for this evening. May I help, Mademoiselle, remove the offending items?"

Penelope places her hand in his and demurely lets him help her up to her feet - a study in coy haughtiness.

"Monsieur? Yes, you may proceed. Provided, of course, that you take all the appropriate liberties."

Luke, never dropping the act, moves efficiently around his grand lady. Tugging the apron bow loose, pressing a clandestine kiss to her cheek, then formally easing the neck loop over her head - careful not to tug any strands of blue or blond hair - folding the garment carefully then placing it on a side chair. Next, quick practical fingers unhook her skirt and then guide it to the ground so that he can guide her - foot by kissed foot - to step out of it so that he can whisk it away to fold in quarters and place on top of the apron - returning lickitysplit to stand in front of her so that he can raise his embarrassingly trembling hands to the top flower shaped button if her blouse.

Luke, his eyes fixed on the fabric pulled tight across her heaving chest, seems to freeze. His tongue darts out to lick his upper lip as if to catch a dollop of cream. He is actually salivating from the mere thought of finally seeing her breasts in real life instead of just on the imaginary loop that sometimes (every night) runs through his mind as he falls asleep.

Penelope, enjoying the moment as much as Luke seems to be, doesn't mean to rush him - but she can't hide the delicious shiver of anticipation which runs from the point where his fingertips have come to rest on her chest out - out in a starburst - racing towards each extremity. The raspberry ripple of sensation is not missed by Luke and suddenly aware that Penelope is in danger of melting into some sort of soupy puddle at his feet if he doesn't keep things moving.

"Mademoiselle, permits Monsieur? Provided he pays the appropriate attention to the task?"

Her pupils are so large that her eyes appear to be little blue Pôts au Chocolat. Now it is Penelope who licks her lip - who's fingers tremble.

"Oui."

The word is a kiss - the chocolate kind - wrapped in sparkly red foil - so Luke gives her a swift kiss on the lips and then begins to unbutton in a no nonsense classy way that would make any high-end restaurateur proud - he's eyes never wavering from her face - he pushes the blouse off her shoulders and down her arms then with the flourish of a clean white cloth over a table for two she is finally free of all clothing.

He's about to repeat his journey to the chair but then his gaze dips from her eyes and the shirt falls from his fingers. He's not sure what he expected - honestly his imaginings while repetitive were somewhat non specific - only the slopes of her breasts detailed (since they were the only parts revealed by Penelope's daring-for-the-fbi decolletage) - no he doesn’t know what he expected, but it wasn't these delicate pink-yet-blue-undertoned nipples - less like garrish cherries atop a corporate bakery cupcake and more like sugared violets crowning some decadent spherical patisserie maybe a rose mousse cake over a lemon sponge, decorated with delicate ribbons of a cassis champagne compote finished with a dusting of confectioners sugar.

"Penelope."

His voice is filled with wonder. His hands cup her breasts reverently. He lifts first one then the other to his lips for a humble kiss to be pressed near but not quite touching her nipple. Next - as Penelope holds her breath and her hands rise to cover his - Luke buries his face in the sweet hollow between her breasts - Penelope gasps as another kiss is pressed to her skin and then again as his mouth adores its way down to the sensitive skin of her belly. He pulls back when his mouth finds her scar and traces it with gentle fingers.

"I'm sorry it's so ugly."

"It's not."

Luke drenches her worry with kisses pressed to the line which celebrates one of her most important victories over evil then remembers the icing and breaks away to collect the little glass pot and brush.

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12 Turn on an ultraviolet black light and the quinine will fluoresce.

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"You say this is supposed to glow in the dark?"

"Fluoresces. Flip the switch on the cord over there…then turn off the light there. We'll see if it worked."

Only slightly regretting cutting short feasting with his eyes on her naked body, Luke promises himself that it will not be the last time and does as Penelope says. The room is plunged into purplish darkness studded by a galaxy of plum, strawberry, and rhubarb coloured miniature twinkle lights. Sure enough - the translucent jar of icing in Luke's hand glows a bright true lavender - outshining anything else in the room - well except maybe their teeth. Luke - making a mental note to smile with his lips closed - doesn't waste a moment wondering why Penelope has a blacklit twinkling bedroom.

Of course she does.

Instead, he crosses to her silhouette and asks. "So, what shall I paint on you, Madame?"

"Nothing! My concoction - so I claim the right of conquest! I am going to decorate you, my hunk of nouveau cuisine!"

Penelope grabs his hand and drags him towards the bed. "Lie down! On your back. The other way might make for a smoother canvas but you’ll be able to see the final results better if I paint your chest. You may be a bit of a philistine when it comes to appreciation of the more abstract arts but I think you will be able to appreciate my handy work this time."

Again Luke seems obedient to her appetites but then rebels at the last moment and takes the brush from her.

"You can have these back in a second Madame Impatienta - but I have waited a long time to see these beauties and if I can't see them properly I want to at least know exactly where they are." And with that Luke deftly cups her blue shadowed breast, finds the tip of her left nipple with a stroke of his thumb, and then paints a flower outline around the sensitive nub.

The paint is warm and the brush is soft and pliable against her skin - part tickle part caress. Delish. Penelope makes sure to stay still as he outlines the second flower - even though the sensation of the warm icing dancing onto her skin makes her want to arch like a cat - but when he refills his brush then strokes a new thick line from between her breasts down to her navel - it is too much so she distracts him with a full on kiss then wrestles the brush from him.

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13 Have some fun decorating with your glowing, edible paint!

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“My turn! Lie down! Here - hold this - I’m going to turn you into a masterpiece- well more of a masterpiece - although this may be a case of gilding the lily - “

Luke starts to laugh - bubbling beneath her - so to shut him (and herself) up, Penelope thrusts the glass jar of icing into his hand and then, for good measure, straddles his hips to keep him in check - careful where she puts her weight but not being shy about trapping him between her spread thighs. She can’t have her canvas wandering off now can she?

“Stop laughing - stay still - uggh - just because you look like- Stop! You’ll ruin my painting!”

This time Luke gets a hold of himself and follows instructions. Not sure what to paint - Penelope loads up her brush and then just starts to doodle with it across his chest - something will come to her, surely? A long warm curve over one peck, then a straighter path towards a tasty spot just below his navel, then mirroring back up…

Luke is leaning back, but suddenly he gets an inkling of just what Penelope may be tracing onto his skin. He tries to sit up - crane his neck to confirm with sight what his nerve endings are claiming to be true…

…oh shit! It's the chocolatines all over again - her subconscious is clearly in need of some R&R to avoid such delusions...Not a heart Penelope! What are you? A sophomore? Quick…transform it! Hide it!

Without lifting her brush Penelope, pushes Luke back with her free hand and admonishes him to "Not peek". She feels a flash of relief when he doesn’t fight her and instead, forgetting his earlier private resolution to smile lips shut - lies back with the biggest most teeth-glowing-est grin ever - tucking his hands behind his head as he relaxes back - his skin in the blue-black in the gloam - lifting his pecs towards her ... like he’s serving up his body on a platter for her pleasure

Is he thinking about how she asked him to grab his pecs for her in the air balloon?

How he did…?

She is.

Penelope draws a sharp breath and then blows it out long and slow - finding herself tracing the heart with the stream of air.

Ridiculous.

Penelope makes herself shake off this last vestiges of this foolishness she has allowed herself; then, resolutely begins to embellish the accidental heart, turning it into a variation of one of her go to doodles - two dragons nose to nose - tail to tail - wings spread - usually she makes sure the heart they form is extra evident - but this time the goal is to obfuscate her slip into sentimentality with fierce fiery entwining breath and legs and talons and scales… so many scales and…does she dare?

Yes. Yes, she does.

Time stretches for both of them as Luke enjoys the novel feeling of being delicately iced and Penelope gets absorbed into the endeavour - getting transfixed by first curves of his pectoral muscles - then how sweetly her brush glides over the ridges of his clavicle perfect guides for the sweeping horns she gives her dragons. The tails wind together with each other over the planes of his lower stomach… she keeps expecting him to react as if tickled…but it never happens…instead he is still…relaxed…well almost…as she works Penelope feels his cock swell beneath her - sometimes jumping - jerking against her…but still she paints…her breasts penduluming over him in glowing wobbly arcs - or bouncing high - making the flowers around her nipples seem to bloom when she sits up to observe her handy work and stretch out the sore spots from holding herself in the perfect position to finish the talons or shade the web of a wing.

Purple glowing icing is not the most exact medium but somehow the picture comes together so much more precisely than she would have thought was possible. She is able to use an almost dry brush to create depth (Luke particularly enjoys the peculiar feathery feeling from this part of the process) and then when heavy almost garish lines are needed, Penelope loads up her brush with the sugary luminous goo and slathers it wetly across her living canvas - pleased when Luke seems to grind his teeth and humm into the sensation. He positively vibrates when she sets the brush aside and instead uses the tip of a perfectly manicured nail to sketch in the finer details of the faces or the clawed wings.

Finally, the masterpiece is done to Penelope's satisfaction. Luke's chest is a writhing mass of intricate glowing lines. Much to Penelope’s relief, the heart is no longer in evidence,in its place is a starkly erotic image of two dragons clearly mating on the wing; the beasts encircled in flames of their own making. It is like the best tattoos - accentuating and working with the shape of his body.

"So? Are you done, Chica? May I see?"

Penelope can hardly wait to trace the image with her tongue until he begs her to ride him - but he should see what she's done first. It's only fair.

"I think that seems like the logical next step."

Penelope lifts herself off of Luke, careful not to smudge anything.

Truly today has been even more surreal than the wedding and the hot-air balloon ride.

With that thought, she takes his hand and leads him to stand before the full length mirror on a stand in the corner. It is a heavy dark wooden carved piece that she fell in love with, once upon a time, antiquing with Emily on a rare day off. Luke peers at their reflection in the grand old piece - struck dumb by the sheer raw brilliance that has been wrought in icing on his skin.

Good lord. Fucking dragons. Or rather dragons fucking. In mid-air. Ablaze. The arcing erection of the one dragon leaps across the space between the two wild creatures emblazoned on his chest - plunging into the centre of the other who arches in terrible welcome. The whole sticky tableau seethes with vibrant clashing movement - he takes a breath and - fires above - the rise of his chest somehow causes the male dragon to deepen his thrust and Luke swears he can almost hear the female's bellow of satisfaction. Luke has never seen the like.

It is hot.

Hell.

He is hot.

Luke has never been vain. Oh he knows his body is appealing to others - women and men alike have said as much - and he has always been confident in his body's abilities whether on the battle field or in the bedroom - but this feeling of being resplendent is new.

It is the first time his own reflection has turned him on.

In Iraq, Luke had been friends with a soldier who Reid always vaguely reminds him of. The guy had been smart as a whip and was assigned to their unit as an intelligence officer. He and Luke had developed what the other soldiers considered an unlikely friendship - since Luke was a tough as nails dog guy from the Bronx and the other a weedy guy from Santa Fe who couldn't bluff when they played poker but could speak 8 languages and made their computers sing - but it worked. The guy had a soft spot for Greek myth and lent Luke a copy of his collection of plays by Euripedes. It had been a slow period where they had been stationed on base waiting for orders; so Luke, with time to kill, had read them and had become strangely obsessed, in particular, with The Bacchae. The tragedy of the daughter of the king killing her own son because she believed him to be a lion left him hollow… but there was something magnificent about Dionysus and the seductive power he imagined would need to suffuse the performance. Now, with his hair sticking out wild in all directions and his cock high and proudly jutting up towards the ferocious mythical mating - painstakingly painted on his chest - it is as though he is the embodiment of that louche son of Zeus and this flower painted maiden beside him must be one of his devoted - soon to be frenzied - followers.

He traces the bulging dragon penis which vaults across his skin above his navel.

"Penelope. I didn't know you could paint like this. I thought you were more into y'know abstract than figurative. This…this…reminds me of those Chinese erotic prints…Shunga I think they are called?"

"You know about Shunga? No, don't answer that. It's just a hobby. Painting I mean - not - uh so much the other," Penelope blushes invisibly in the near dark, "This isn't that good…I mean not much more than a doodle really - in highschool I used to do the flyers for the DND campaigns run by a local comic book shop. So I got good at dragons. Not much call for dragons at the BAU; we see enough evil without adding mythical dangers."

Maybe it is some sort of Dionysian omniscience - but Luke knows this is the opening he needs to make sure whatever this is continues so that he will have the time to properly convince Penelope that there is and should be something more than a past fling between them.

"They say everybody needs a hobby, you know,"

Luke casually but carefully runs his finger down the spine of the female dragon and then lifts his icing laden finger not to her mouth but to his; thrumming when Penelope watches their reflection agape.

"Yes. I've heard that."

"We're friends, right Penelope? We agreed that at Rossi's wedding? Good friends?"

"Yeah…"

"Well good friends do things together - common hobbies, right? Like I know you and Spencer to sci-fi conventions together and Emily and you follow the same t.v. shows. But we don't have a thing yet…do we?"

"No…?"

Penelope stills. Luke is pretty sure she is holding her breath. He lets the moment rest - lets the juices of the idea suffuse her brain - then…

"What if this," Luke turns away from the mirror towards Penelope and traces the still sticky flower around her nipple with one finger and then, as Penelope watches in the mirror, lifts his finger to her lips for her to taste the icing. Amazingly it is her first taste of the gin and tonic paint and she is surprised by the dance of flavours in her mouth when she suckles his finger, "what if this was our thing?"

"This?" Penelope nervously licks her lips.

"I've never had sex quite like this with anyone else - you Penelope Garcia have a flair all your own - and I have to admit I am intrigued. We could explore the adventurous erotic together…as friends of course…a hobby between friends."

"Like a ‘friends with benefits' thing?"

Luke cringes. He has never liked the implication of that phrase. It seems too transitory - too using - too much an arrangement - but he supposes that is what he's proposing…but…

"If you like. But…I think I am going to think of it as two very good friends exploring a mutual interest…"

Penelope starts to shake her head no and Luke's stomach drops - he instinctively drops the hand that had been resting on her upper arm - leans away. Cold air seems to rush between them.

"..or not!? I didn't.."

Penelope can't bear the sudden coolness. She turns to him with a 500 hundred kilowatt smile and instantly the chill is dispersed.

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14 Enjoy your special glowing treat!

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"Luke Alvez. I… I… I think this idea of yours may just be brilliant. We can work out the parameters later…but I think we are well on our way to what is going to be a beautiful friendship… shall we keep on with our exploration of our mutual interest? I think we should find out what happens when the sweet treats we've decorated get plated…don't you think?"

"Yes, please."

"Race you back to bed?"

It is a race indeed - a squealing - laughing - grabbing - bounding - tickling race which ends with them throwing themselves backward across the bed. Lying side by side at first but then Luke sits up so he can lean over his bodacious adventurous talented lover and kiss her. He might just be addicted to kissing this woman - so scrumptious - and a shudder of relief wracks him when their tongues start to tangle. Feeling like a complete novice - he can’t help but reach up and squeeze a ripe breast as the kiss deepens and he finds himself literally panting into her mouth - his other hand cups her cheek just as Penelope breaks away - just for breath though - she’s not going far and they breathe each other’s breath - their teeth lines of moonshine - is is him that mock bites her first or her that mock nips him? Who knows! But the toothy duel is an intense no contact bout - part battle royale part royal romp. And then they are kissing again and forgetting to be careful of the art - their chests smash and rub together as they exuberantly roll back and forth - not sure whether they are fighting to be the one on top and in control or the one deliciously smothered by the weight of their lover. Once, when Penelope is the one astride…

“Wait! I wanted to lick it off you! And we’ve smeared it!”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t lick it, Chicca. Go nuts!”

So down she dives licking the smudged image line by line until Luke can’t stand it any longer and flips her again and now it is he licking icing off the rounds of her breasts - laving her nipples - making her squeak and then groan as his tongue does magical things - eventually he has stuffed almost all of one breast into his mouth - while his other breast kneads the other so it doesn’t get jealous and Penelope reaches her limit this time shouting the instructions: “Condom! Luke now! Bedside - please!”

Refusing to give up any of the succulent mouthful he has captured - Luke reaches blindly as she thrashes beneath him - his hand falling on the box she had taken out and left on her nightstand while he had fetched the body paint - he grabs and then transfers it to her hand - sucking deeper - hoping she gets the idea that it’s up to her now.

Penelope - never the dullest knife in the drawer - understands right away and tears the carton open even as she squeals into his ministrations. As she pulls a package off the strip, Luke shifts and licks down the now-blended stripe he painted between her breasts until he can nuzzle into the soft blanc-mange-like perfection of her tummy. He lowers himself with kiss after kiss - now kneeling on the floor between her knees bent over the side of the bed - and now he can't help but lean in and press some inaudible loving words and secret promises disguised as kisses into the scar which gleams a pale yellow against her blue skin.

"Ready!"

Looking up, Luke admires Penelope as she triumphantly, if delicately, brandishing a glowing disk of latex between thumb and forefinger. He breaks into yet another literally brilliant toothy eager grin, and with a dip to, first, press one last kiss to her stomach and, second, catch the back of her thigh with one hand so that as he stands he can lift her leg, tipping her back flat onto the mattress as he pushes to standing - slowly - powerfully - smoothly - his strong hand sliding up over the back of her knee - up her calf - his tongue following his hand - licking a precise line up the back of her leg like he's tracing the seam of an old-fashioned stocking as he stands - then rests her leg on his shoulder then scoops up her other leg so that her foot lies flat on the bed her knee angled first toward the ceiling and then yawing wide - opening herself up to him - wide and wet. His groin answers the sight with a heavy wanting greedy ache.

Luke leans forward into her raised leg - reaching out to take the condom - their fingertips kissing in the exchange - the move stretches her hamstring deliciously.

As she waits and watches Luke roll the condom on - the luminous sheath transforming that which was a purple-blue shadow turn into an otherworldly glowing rod, Penelope's cheeks - breasts - belly - yoni feel like they have been whipped into some decadently layered confection: her skin a spicy-sweet tingle - a cinnamon-sugar glaze drizzled over a layer of orange cream - spooned soft and tangy but somehow vulnerably thick over a dense kirsch-torte longing pulse for this man’s body to join with hers - all set upon a butter and cookie crust made of something delicate and new that she refuses to examine too closely lest she collapse into a mess of sentiment.

Luke - her ankle still high over his shoulder - his hand warm on her foot - kneels on the edge of the bed - close enough that he strokes his cock over her open quim - firm circles echoing his earlier tongue play and then as Penelope lifts towards him - opens for him - he gives up on the athletics - gently easing her leg down - then…no other word can be used… sexy be damned… snuggles down into her…easing her cock into her slow and warm as he hugs the rest of his wanting tender body into her - her arms come around him in comfort and her legs tug him closer as they wrap him up - snug warm hot.

Luke catches his weight on his hand which have come to rest palm down to the mattress just under her shoulder blades - but Penelope will have nothing of this misplaced chivalry and pulls him closer tighter - burritoing him with her embrace - his palms flip and he gives her his weight with a wrapping hug - his cock pushing as deep as he can get an holding resting in her hot pulsing delicious heat - and she catches him in the cradle of her thighs - her breasts - her arms - and they undulate and pulse together - the icing still on their skin melding and melting into an abstract of all that is erotic - all that is life - and something of the beginnings of what many would call love.

The movements they share and indulge in are the petit-fours of erotic sensation - a chocolate box of unspoken hopes and dreams made physical. They start to kiss - matching the rhythm set by the joining of their nether regions - a powdered-sugared pulsation. A feast of micro-pleasure upon micro-pleasure upon micro-pleasure rippling through their bodies. They start to turn over and back with their thrusts - a twisting of cinnamon churros - peaches and cream corn hotly rolled in butter - sauced and tossed and sizzling.

Their cries are matching - each one a pop of a cork - then his and hers champagne flutes crossing and clinking - sharp - bright sounds punching up the taste and feel of their sex - getting higher and clearer as they get closer and closer.

It is a rare thing this joining - their bodies are but mediums - to convince the other of how well done they are. A sigh, a gasp, a shudder of delight as cock and cunny mix and mate. Shaken not stirred.

Suddenly Luke is there - fizzing over - her name on his lips - a choked back "I love you" caught in his throat but his bubble - his unexpected squeak and then dark smoking grunt of release is the last ounce needed to make Penelope fall with him over the edge. They rise above themselves like a top chef's soufflé - snap - crackle - cum into each other - into themselves - melding - chemically transforming - baked but so so raw - singed and charred but in a way that adds flavour and depth. Penelope clings and wraps and does not let him pull apart from her. She wants him inside her until the last and so heavy and entangled for the first time just like this - they rest - cool down.

Finally, finally this feast is done and it is time to tidy up and reminisce and indulge perhaps in one last night cap…but all the while they will dimple and peek at one another - confident that both are replete for now - they they have had a 'delicate sufficiency'... but not unhappy for they know the time to break their fast again will come soon.

It is so nice to have a friend.

And…every …body… needs a hobby…

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Source for original recipe I adapted for the sake of kitschy writing (and no I have not tested it and have no idea if it’s actually body safe - although you’ll note our heroes kept it out of sensitive areas just to be on the safer side): https://www.instructables.com/Glowing-Edible-Paint/

Master List | List of One Shots & Happy Versions | Micro-Garvez

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#criminal minds #garvez #penelope garcia #luke alvez #garvez smut

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championofnyx · 2 years

Text

Misperception of Issues and Lack of Treatment Part 3: The Exceptions That Make the Rule

In season three, episode 21, we see Gar and Vic talking about Vic’s new found controle over his post-metron cleanse technological implants and mentioned that he and Megan have been talking about the stages of grieve, personally about the life he once thought he would live and the body he had lost, and were he was in this journey, implying ongoing conversation throughout this process. In season four we see him fully accepting his new situation, a new member of the justice league, and having matured enough to actively help his friends in their own journeys to self acceptance, both as a supporter and as an advice giver.

While Vic’s treatment was delicately integrated through dialogue, we got to see more of Gar’s throughout season four. Coming to terms with the death of several loved ones, including his mother, the doom patrol, Wally, and Conner assisted through therapy, medication, a support animal, and his friends capping off a season long downward spirit further into a depressive episode. Vic and Gar received a level of support that was either nonexistent or short lived in the cases of Mary and Brion, so why were their needs properly addressed?

On average ~50% of patients that suffer from various mental illnesses feel involved in their treatment decisions, including a diagnosis. ~55% feel they were given time to express their needs and ask about treatment, and ~20% believe that they didn’t receive the treatment needed. These statistics are pulled from sample ages of 5-32, the age group of both characters, Kalder being the older at 26 and the youngest being Cass or Tara (I think) at 16 with its current audience being pulled from around this age group, accounting for five years older and younger.

Positive reputation of addressing and managing mental illness: therapy, actively engaging with your road to healing, medication when needed are all shown, both in the case of Gar and Vic, but it would be accurate to portray mental health struggles as something that is always addressed, diagnosed, and treated properly. It’s important to show that there are gaps within our real world health system reflected in the media, and even more for us, the audience, to understand that the actions of these characters made in moments of vulnerability and instability can be explained, if not always excused.

This being said, why were Vic and Gar’s struggles noticed by others? There wasn’t a change in behavior that implied self-healing. With Mary, she stopped forming into Sergeant Marvel, Brion tempered his anger, allowing those around them to believe that the issue had been properly addressed and didn’t require further involvement. Vic wasn’t adjusting, he continued self-isolation even after a change in environment (moving to the hub) and Gar’s downward spiral never gave a momentary glimpse that it was taking an upward trajectory. In simpler terms, they were constantly fighting their problems, which made them easier to recognize, much as it is in the real world. Going through phases of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ mental health can be viewed as dramatized or not something deserving of proper treatment because it’s not ‘as bad as others have it’ while those who show consistent, and after downward trending, mental states are viewed as ‘deserving’ of treatment. Of course, this is not every case, but there is a strong correlation between the display of symptoms and treatment.

Young Justice is attempting to accurately describe mental illness in hopes that members of its audience who have experienced similar struggles are able to relate, as well as hopefully give others the courage to seek help if it’s not being provided to them. But it would be inaccurate to display everyone’s journey to recovery as a linear progress that was helped and supported by everyone around them. So instead of showing one happy ending narrative of mental illness that is only achievable in preferable circumstances, the writers have instead decided to provide several.

All this to be said, the fallen heroes previously mentioned fell not because of some inherent moral corruption, but rather as a result of manipulation that could have only occurred due to a lack of treatment and support. If you feel a connection or sympathy to them, you are not an inherently bad human because neither of them are inherently bad humans. Their stories were written to be compelling to audiences, as all characters should be, so don’t feel wrong for being compelled.

#Young Justice #Young Justice outsiders #young justice phantoms #mary bromfield #brion markov #garfield logan #victor stone

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selfieignite · 2 years

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I am almost done watching and I cannot tell you how much I loved every second of it. The dynamic is so perfect. It’s such a bummer this got cancelled ): truly a waste of potential. Im thankful to you showing up on my dash regardless. Would you happen to know why it got cut short? I have an inkling it might have to do with racism

Yay! It makes me happy that people are discovering Selfie and watching it for the first time :) Yes, it was really disappointing that the show couldn’t continue and the cast deserved better. I have a list why it was canceled. Sorry this is long lol. I also recommend checking out the Selfie Wikipedia about the cancellation!

Possible reasons why Selfie (2014) got canceled:

1) The title: Selfie. Some people really hated the name even though it’s still used in everyday life. And it was around the same time when the song #Selfie by The Chainsmokers was released. I don’t think the general public liked being reminded of vanity, so they ended up judging the show pretty quickly. Even a news interviewer said when he heard the title, he wouldn’t watch a show called that. If it had a different name or alluded to My Fair Lady/Pygmalion, maybe it might have had a better chance? Also, “selfie” is hard to search for online, so having a more unique name would have been a plus.

2) Weak pilot and trailer. There was a lot of criticism from critics and the audience for the first episode and trailer. Things like the vomit scene, how social media was portrayed, and Eliza's narcissistic behavior were considered off-putting.

3) Bad time slot and no strong lead-in show. It was on the same time as big TV shows like The Voice and NCIS, which aired on different networks. Also, it didn’t have a strong lead-in show to retain the previous audience. Manhattan Love Story aired right before it, but that was also canceled a few weeks earlier. If something popular like Modern Family aired before Selfie, more people would have stuck around to watch the series.

4) Not enough (good) marketing? Some people speculated that there wasn’t enough promotion. I’ve seen posters about it, but that didn’t really tell you what the show was about.

And the combination of the first four reasons led to the following:

5) Low ratings. Unfortunately, not enough people were tuning in after the first episode and ratings kept dropping. It was canceled after the 7th episode and that was when the episodes became progressively better, but by then it was too late. It aired on the ABC network and the ABC President at the time, Paul Lee, said it was a "very good show,” but decisions had to be made due to losing money from advertisers. While money is an issue, I personally don't think he was a big fan. It's because he favored other shows by getting them another season like Galavant, Agent Carter, and American Crime even though their ratings were declining. Selfie didn’t even get to finish its first season. It was originally supposed to be around 26 episodes.

6) Other networks didn’t pick up the show and/or Warner Brothers didn’t bother to shop the show to other networks. A lot of fans at the time launched a fan campaign to reach out to Hulu (where the rest of the remaining episodes aired), Netflix, etc. to pick up the show, but no avail. Warner Brothers produced the show, but they probably didn’t push for the show as hard as they could have either. AND Selfie is still not officially streaming anymore either (except in Australia) because of the WB.

7) Racism. That might have been part of it, but it’s hard to tell how much especially with behind the scenes and the several reasons above would overshadow it. But racism definitely played a part during the casting process since the production wanted a white Englishman to play Henry in the first place and was reluctant to cast John Cho. Out of the main cast, he was also the last person to be announced. Times are slowly changing, but we could always have more romantic Asian male leads on American TV.

8) It wasn’t given enough time and was on the wrong network. This also ties in with 5) low ratings, but ABC didn’t give it a chance to grow a larger audience especially when the episodes were improving. I don’t think ABC was the right network for this show. If it came out now on streaming or maybe a few years after Guardians of the Galaxy and Jumanji (where Karen Gillan played Nebula and Ruby Roundhouse), it might have done better. The kicker is that some of the critics changed their minds about the show right when it was canceled. They definitely contributed to Selfie’s demise with the early bad reviews.

That’s all I can think of for now. Overall, the show was poorly managed. Great cast and writing if people could see past the first episode.

Thanks for reading this far! lol

#selfie abc #selfie tv show #ask #john cho #karen gillan #selfie cancellation #save selfie #selfie 2014 #henry higgs #eliza dooley #paper drop #gif #abc selfie #abcselfie #selfieabc #my edit

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whimsicallyenchantedrose · 2 days

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Season 3 Rewatch Drabbles: 3x22 There's No Place Like Home (Part 4)

Word Count: 528

Tagging a few people who may be interested (Let me know if you want to be added or taken off the list): @sailormew4 @annaamell @flslp87 @emmateo26 @bethacaciakay

@ultraluckycatnd @effulgent-mind @ilovemesomekillianjones @brooke-to-broch

@missgymgirl @galadriel26 @the-lady-of-misthaven @charmingturkeysandwich

@jennjenn615 @laschatzi @kimmy46 @snowbellewells @iamanneenigma

@daxx04 @nickillian @gillie @britishguyslover @ginnyjinxedandhanshotritafirst

@kmomof4 @linda8084 @golfgirld @captain-swan-coffee @searchingwardrobes

@hollyethecurious @laughswaytoomuch @allyourdarlingswans @winterbaby89 @facesiousbutton82

@therooksshiningknight @lfh1226-linda @tiganasummertree @jrob64 @anmylica

@booksteaandtoomuchtv @i-will-sing-no-requiem @bluewildcatfanatic @laianely

Other Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Notes: I knew there was no way I could stick to just one drabble an episode for the CS movie, so I didn't even try. There will be 2 drabbles for 3x21 and 4 for 3x22. They are all written, so the plan is to post one per day until they're all posted.

Note 2: You didn't think I could write a series of season 3 drabbles without one about the CS kiss outside of Granny's did you?

She was kissing him, really kissing him. Killian’s heart swelled, somehow, paradoxically both soaring and settling. She was kissing him.

He’d never planned to tell her about the deal he’d had to make to get back to her. He wanted her more than anything in the world, but the last thing he’d wanted was for her to come to him out of a sense of obligation, of owing him for what he’d given up.

He missed his ship, aye, but if it was a choice between the Jolly and Emma, it was no contest. He’d have given up anything to get back to her.

The kiss went on and on. It was far gentler and less passionate than the one they’d shared in Neverland, but it was real. It was not borne merely of lust but of feelings acknowledged without words. She’d leaned into him not to blow off steam, not in answer to a challenge, not as a thank you.

She’d leaned in to him because she cared for him. She’d let down her walls and accepted her family and now she’d accepted her feelings for him. He could feel it in the way her lips and tongue moved against his.

It was overwhelming, the feelings inside so real they nearly brought tears to his eyes.

Later, when he had a chance to reflect on all of it, the elation would come, the joy that would make him want to shout his love to the rooftops, but for now, nothing existed but her and the fact that she was kissing him.

She pulled back for a moment and looked up at him with an almost tentative smile, and the openness in her eyes, the trust, the–dare he say it–love he saw shining back at him through them would have brought him to his knees had he been standing.

He returned her gentle smile before leaning in to close the distance between them once more. He’d always let her set the pace of this relationship, let her make the first moves. He’d been hesitant to step forward toward her–not only because he knew he needed to be patient and allow her to lower her walls in her own time, but also because he needed to protect his own heart. If he moved too quickly and scared her away….

But now, something had changed. She’d given herself to him–not yet in the carnal sense, of course, but in the emotional sense. With her kiss, she’d told him she wanted this relationship too; that she was done running, and he could have no more stopped himself from going in for that second kiss than he could have stopped himself from breathing.

She was intoxicating, and it was a high from which he hoped to never come down. Cupping her head with his hand, letting the silky strands flow through his fingers, he let the kiss go on and on.

No doubt there would be difficulties, set backs, new villains to defeat, but for now, for right now, he felt as though his life was nothing short of perfect, and he’d remain with her in this moment forever if he could.

#season 3 rewatch drabbles #captain swan fanfiction #3x22 fanfiction #my fanfiction #Best. Kiss. Ever.

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cogentranting · 4 months

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It's interesting to me that the CW is kind of thought of as the channel for teen shows (and it does have quite a few popular teen shows) but through the 2010s most of its big shows WEREN'T teen shows. Because the big 2010s shows on the CW were Supernatural, the Arrowverse (which is 4+ shows), and the Originals-- none of which are teen shows.

Supernatural begins with the brothers being 22 and 26 and ends with them in their late 30s/early 40s. There's one prominent character who's a teenager but she's only in 6 or 7 episodes (out of 327). Arrow begins with Oliver at 27 and mostly features adult characters (Thea is a teenager at the beginning but is like the 8th billed character and pretty quickly moves past any teenage themed plots). The Flash has no teen characters. Neither does Supergirl. Or Legends of Tomorrow. Superman and Lois does have teenage main characters but it's primarily about parenthood. I didn't watch the Originals but to my knowledge I don't think they treat the characters as teenagers. Even the later seasons of Vampire Diaries they did a time jump to be a couple years past college and treated the characters as adults.

So by the late 2010s most of the channel's most popular shows were not teen shows and most of those never were.

BUT as those shows started to wrap up the channel kept trying to spinoff shows from them and those generally speaking skewed much younger. From Supernatural they tried to spinoff Wayward Sisters. By all rights, Wayward Sisters should probably have focused on Jody (who is on 19 episodes of SPN, starting way back in season 5) and Donna. Two adult women, both very popular characters. And then would have incorporated the girls they took under their wing. and maybe that's what it would have been, but the backdoor pilot made it look like it was more focused on Claire, who was around 19 or 20, and her love interest Kaia, with Jody and Donna in secondary role. So spinning off a show about two men around age 40, with a show about two girls in their late teens/early twenties. Vampire Diaries and Originals reset with Legacies which brought it back down to high school. Which makes a certain amount of sense given that that's where the series started, except that if you were 15 when TVD started airing, you were 26 when Legacies started. But Legacies did fairly well (unlike Wayward Sisters which never got off the ground) so I guess it worked. Arrow tried to spinoff Green Arrow and the Canaries which technically had three adult leads but did focus (at least in the backdoor pilot) primarily on Mia who was in her early twenties. More significant are the other two Arrowverse shows that were the CW's last two attempts at that universe: Gotham Knights, and the Diggle show. Gotham Knights was about a group of teenagers in Gotham. It lasted one season and got cancelled and I never heard anything much about it. And the proposed Diggle show would have been about Diggle training a bunch of young superheroes. This one is I think maybe the oddest attempt since Diggle was a very popular character who people wanted to see more of... so their idea for a show about this character in his 40s/50s that everyone loved was to make a teen superhero show.

It's just a weird pattern of the CW taking their successful shows about adult characters and trying to push all the shows younger in a way that doesn't feel very natural and was largely unsuccessful (the exception being legacies. but then again TVD was a teen show to begin with anyway).

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bugtransport · 1 year

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Kamen Rider V3 Finished: January 14, 2023

warning: this is over 3700 words and has pictures so buckle up. you cannot and will not get me to proofread this any more than i already have

Kamen Rider V3 is the show of all time. In case you didn’t know I’ve just decided that I’m going to watch all Showa Kamen Rider in order because when I started watching Kamen Rider I made some kind of joke like “oh, wouldn’t it be funny if I just went back and started from the very beginning?” except I have also never made a joke in my life so had to then proceed to do that and then by the time I finished KR 1971 I was so violently in love with Hongo and entirely charmed by the cheesy 70s kids tv of it all that I just had to keep going. That’s where I’m at mentally. That’s what was in my mind going into the show. A lot happened and a lot changed through the run so I think honestly we’ve gotta be true to the series and talk about it in 3 sections.

PART 1: V3 is invincible! This is the part where all the time we spent with 1971 Rider pays off.

Pictured: a guy about to get his shit rocked

God, what a way to start off. Bringing back the two guys from the previous season and then blowing them up with a nuke in the 2nd episode. It was so special and so charming to have them build the new protagonist themselves? I spent a good 2 months running through 1971 and I was really sad at the thought of having to say goodbye to the boys… but I didn’t have to because they lived on through V3. They also lived on somewhere else. They were fine post-nuke. Good for them!

I had no idea what this show was going to be like going into it. 1971 was so episodic that when they introduced the whole two monsters, two episodes, 26 secrets over the course of 52 episodes hook I was like oh hell yeah, it’s gonna be like the last one but even cooler. They ended up only sticking with that format for the first part but you know what? I liked what I saw while it was happening. I genuinely wouldn’t have been mad if they had just kept going with it. I’m glad they didn’t, but it was a cute little premise. I liked thinking about what special features Hongo and Hayato thought fit to put in him and what could have possibly prompted them to come up with them – because they had to have thought about this before borging Kazami, right? There’s no way they came up with that all on the fly. Not necessarily that they were planning on changing someone else (Hayato may have thought about it in passing, Hongo would be so staunchly opposed that imagining it would probably send him doomspiraling again) but… they could have been planning on making upgrades to themselves. They’re already borged. They’ve gotten themselves into situations before where they did get out of it, but they could have come out of it thinking “wow, this would have been a lot easier if I could, for instance, overclock my body, even at the expense of not being able to transform for 3 hours following,” and then gone and given that power to Kazami when they had the opportunity to. It’s an incredibly sweet concept; it’s like hearing the meaning behind the names parents give their kids, the good traits that they want to pass down to them. It gets me right in the heart. I love thinking about it. I love that V3 is so cute and squishy. I love imagining that Hayato was the one to take the lead on that (he’s a photographer, he’s artistic) while Hongo handled all the more technical stuff. He has both the powers and the dreams of Kamen Riders 1 and 2. It makes me mushy… I had such a good time with ‘71 Rider.

Pictured: proper surgical procedures

Pictured: two guys who had no idea how the shit that ended up working out either

For as cute as V3 is both as a suit and as a concept Kazami is fucking nuts from the get go. He got borged, popped right up off the operating table, pinned a guy to the wall by his throat, and basically went “yeah, I have no idea how strong I am right now, wanna find out together?” He almost let a dude drown. The guy convinced Tachibana to beat him up with a wrecking ball for training purposes. He’s just unhinged in a really fun way especially coming straight off of Hongo, who has maybe the world’s worst case of anxiety. Kazami has really none of that and despite having his family killed in front of him he’s shockingly… well adjusted? Maybe he’s just stuck in the first stage of grief. We’ll touch on this later.

Pictured: your weird uncle who's just down for anything

This section of the show was pure fun. High adrenaline explosions and fights and new abilities and goofy monsters and explosions and Kazami hanging off the side of his motorcycle speeding through the streets while being shot at and uh did I mention explosions? It’s so fucking good. ‘71 Rider was them trying to figure out how to do this show (which was relentlessly charming – I loved seeing them try new things and new effects and get into the groove with the pacing and characterizations and feel of everything going on and by the end of the show you can tell that everyone working on it felt much more confident than they did in the beginning) and the time that they spent getting into that groove made carrying on in a similar fashion pretty seamless. The jank is charming. Tachibana whips as usual. Shigeru was cute; all the kids were, they’re kids and they all seemed to be having a blast being in Kamen Rider. It warms my heart every time I see them. Junko was… there. They did try and introduce what I think was supposed to be a Taki-type character in the Interpol guy (whose name I can’t even remember, sorry king, you were such a non-player in this show) but Kazami is just such a force of nature that he mainly ended up seeming scared and confused and really ended up just in the background kinda standing there awkwardly when anything was going on.

Pictured: world's worst first dates

That’s I think the biggest difference between 1971 and V3 here: because Hongo and Hayato had each other and Taki all as sort of equals and balancers in 1971, when you did get your monster-of-the-week type character building they have each other to bounce off of (i.e. Taki trying to lick poison and Hongo stopping him, the scene when Hongo and Hayato are splitting up after a Double Riders episode on the boat and they both have internal monologues about where they’re at emotionally being borgs) but Kazami doesn’t have anyone to bounce off of and contrast him. He does pretty much everything alone. All the decisions he makes, no matter how off the fucking wall, are his sole responsibility. This begins to compound as time goes on and leads us to…

PART 2: DSM-5 speedrun This is the part where things start to sink in.

Hongo and Hayato come back for a couple episodes! This rules. This is so fun. We get some Double Rider action (I’ve missed this so much; Kazami rules but it’s so fun to see people fighting side by side as equals and it not just being like, Tachibana clubbing a few goons on the nog while Kazami wrecks a monster) and the two boys get to see how Kazami’s doing in action to both check up on him and their handiwork. Kazami seems really happy to have them back fighting with him! Hongo looks phenomenal as usual. Hayato has heels on which is very important to note, thank you. We get a little game of psychic marco polo when Hayato and Hongo get kidnapped and it’s up to Hayato to come find them and rescue them, just like in the last episode of 1971 Rider. It’s so fun. They kick Destron ass together and they laugh and Hongo gets to reconnect with Tachibana and the new rider kids a little. Then they leave, as we always knew they would. And Kazami is left alone again.

Pictured: they are fucking standing

Hongo and Hayato reappearing and leaving again also marks where the cracks in Kazami really start to show.

I mean yeah alright he’s always been a little nuts but at one point I stopped around two thirds of the way through one of the episodes with Hongo and Hayato in them and decided to catalog everything that Kazami had done so far that day. He:

Got exploded in a car crash

Impersonated a man

Got exploded in a car crash again

Transformed upside down

Somehow called his bike down into the Destron surgery chamber

Decided to do donuts in said surgery chamber, terrorizing all the scientists in there (side note: do you think that a certain scientist was in there too?)

This is now a normal day for Kazami. I love this interpretation of why the shift happened but personally I like to think of the tipping point as being when Kazami realized that he was having way more fun fighting alongside two people who were like him now that he was acclimated to being a cyborg – much different than the fighting he did at the start of the series with Hongo and Hayato where he was basically a newborn and just learning the ropes – and so, when they left again, he felt their absence much more acutely than he did the first time, and maybe because the wound has been opened again when he’s not bowled-over-busy figuring out his new borg life, he at this point actually starts grieving his family. Like I mentioned before: Tachibana is maybe the closest thing Kazami has through the series to having someone to fight with, and he’s just some fucking guy. Which is nuts! Kamen Rider is at its peak when it’s about two boys. I stand by that. When we have two boys they can share the trauma of what’s going on around them and support each other. When we only have one boy, that boy has to carry the weight of the whole world alone. Tachibana can try all he can but at the end of the day he’s still just a guy. He can only try and understand all these tortured boys he takes under his wing from the outside.

Pictured: he's trying his best to understand kids these days

Pretty much every single episode post Hongo Hayato return involves at least one kid with no family. Kazami obviously begins to see himself in them - this becomes so heavy handed by the end of the series that he sees a parentless kid playing a harmonica, takes the harmonica from the kid, plays a song of his own, and reminisces about playing the same song for his sister back when she was alive. It’s in no way subtle. That’s not at all a bad thing! If you’re complaining about something being a bit too heavy handed in what is after all a kids show I don’t really know what to tell you. Also, what can I say, I’m a documented slut for repetition as a narrative device. I think it whips. I love time loops. I love callbacks to things earlier in the series. I don’t know if half this shit is intentional but I’m having fun with it. With how hard they hit the Dead Family Connection between Kazami and these kids I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt and say yeah? Sure, why not. For this example specifically I think it really serves to show just how often this is now on Kazami’s mind. It’s something he can’t really get away from in the same way he was at the beginning of the series. I think that’s also why I didn’t at all mind the episodes that were kinda early-Hongo 1971 rehashes before the Riderman eps… Kazami wanted to be borged in the beginning and didn’t really have issues regarding his new life until around this point. It was in my opinion a nice little way to bring his newfound borg issues into play. I personally just like the early Hongo episodes too so I’m biased, and aware of that fact.

Pictured: the world's most emotional harmonica solo

Back to Kazami though: if you want a really good example of how he’s coping, here’s a video of him kidnapping a Destron goon and threatening to torture them for information. He’s really not doing well. He’s beginning to get a little black and white in his ways of thinking while the narrative is trying to bring in some gray areas by bringing in a couple one-off characters who start to shed a little light on Destron’s recruitment tactics and why, theoretically, someone might join up with them, which is something I thought really interesting and something that I wanted to see more of after the Ambassador Hell waffling in 1971 Rider. I’m glad that we did get to see that! Kazami again gets to have his shit rocked a little when someone that he thought he knew gets sucked into working for Destron. I honestly don’t think that Tachibana is any help here at all, the man comes across as kind of old school and again, pretty black and white thinking. But actually wait… I mentioned Riderman earlier, right? I think to further think about Kazami and what’s going on with him we gotta take this fucking post to…

PART 3: Riderman… what, do you ride men or something? This is the part where I talk about the ending of the show.

Pictured: two boys, twice

Kamen Rider is a show that works best when it’s about two boys. Yuki Joji is a Destron scientist (incorrectly) accused of being a traitor which leads to him losing his arm in a vat of acid and getting rescued by several other Destron scientists who end up attaching a borg arm to Yuki to save him, which turns him into Riderman. Now. This on its own is a departure from how Kamen Rider has treated Shocker/Destron scientists that you’re supposed to be sympathetic to in the past. Before we’ve really only gotten the whole “oh yeah, these dudes were kidnapped and forced to borg people against their will” song and dance which, sure, that’s fine, I think there’s a lot more to unpack about the morality of science than we care to get into in this show (thinking about you, guy in 1971 Rider who made a ray that just turned people into skeletons (??) like why the hell were you doing that. How were you planning on spinning that as being a good and moral thing to do in the first place. How on earth were you at all surprised when Shocker was like “oh actually we could totally use that for evil.”) but you know I’ll take this for what it is. Now you’re coming out of the gate swinging with a guy being saved by people who are clearly more loyal to him than they are to Destron but – all of them still work for Destron, that’s not a question. They all seem to see this as some kind of weird mistake, but not indicative of the organization as a whole. They still believe in the mission that they’re doing there. While Yuki is out for revenge on the people directly responsible for taking his arm and forcing him to get borged, he’s still openly fine with Destron. He doesn’t want to work with Kamen Rider. Kazami, who has gotten through the whole series pretty much through sheer hardheadedness alone, is finally matched with someone just as willful as he is, and oh my fucking god does he enjoy this.

Pictured: yeah you're one to talk

Yuki is stuck in the middle of a bunch of stuff. He’s neither really allied with Destron nor with Kamen Rider. He’s neither fully cyborg nor fully human. His little helmet – it only half covers his face. He’s helping his enemy to save kids. He’s getting pulled in every single direction all at once. Kazami, maybe thinking about all the stuff he’s heard about Hongo and Hayato and their time fighting together (because he has to have heard this, right, he’s got to know their stories) is relentless in pursuing him (“I thought you were different from other Destron members!”). And it works – Yuki realizes that Destron is evil and that Kamen Rider is in fact his (actual quote) angelic savior but it doesn’t even stop there, because he throws himself in front of V3 at one point (sort of similar to Kazami throwing himself in front of Hongo and Hayato in the first ep, come to think of it) to take a blow for the Destron leader because it’s at this point it’s revealed that he was raised and essentially groomed into their organization and while he’s trying his best to unlearn all the stuff he was raised believing, it’s still hard and that tears him apart internally even more because at this point he has joined V3 and is helping him and has renounced Destron but even if you are starting to unlearn things that you have seen firsthand proof of being incorrect… what about those guys that saved him from the acid vat. What about small little happy moments he might have had growing up that kept him going this long even when he was apparently suicidal (yes that is in the show) that weren’t directly Destron things but involved people around him there. What about the accomplishments he made while working for them. These are all tied up in something horrific and the recontextualization of all of these memories that he’s had over the years has got to be incredibly rough to go through. It’s rough to go through on a smaller scale! It is insane to look at the fact that this arc started on episode 43 of a 52 episode show. The burn is instant; the boys go up like a pack of matches, they are from the start so intertwined, such challenges to each other physically and mentally that it doesn’t seem rushed because of course they would be drawn to each other this way.

Pictured: what, do you ride men or someth

I feel like sometimes characters who take this role can be written in a way that comes across as a little too angsty and I don’t always connect with that but I don’t get that from Yuki. All of his reactions really come across as understandable for being in the situation that he’s in. He’s been hurt by something that he trusted and after stepping back from that learned some really terrible things about them. Of course he’s gonna be conflicted. He’s a stuffy little nerd. I really, really like the way they played him. I’m not going to bring my personal experiences in here, but believe me when I say: I get it! And I’m so incredibly impossibly proud of him for changing.

Pictured: things are starting to add up

They go even harder into the Destron/borg issues now – we have episode 49 where literally everything that could possibly happen happens: Kazami gets hacked and loses the ability to control his borg strength, there’s a girl who gets tricked into working for Destron without realizing that they’re bad, Yuki has to take the two of them and break back into his old Destron lab stomping grounds to be able to fix Kazami up… it’s nuts! How fucking fun is this?! Boys with so many issues but like, they have each other, you know? I’m breaking through the walls. I’m tearing them down. I’m renovating. Yuki’s all in now, that I think was maybe one of the most loyal things he could have possibly done for Kazami. Revisiting this place that brought you so much pain and using your skills to fix someone up and do good for them.

For as much as I’ve been talking up until now I don’t really know how to talk about the last two episodes. Kazami and Yuki get split up and have to infiltrate a Destron base separately because they’re on a pretty strict time limit and can’t really waste time meeting back up with each other. Yuki overhears a conversation where the Destron leader calls him a coward – after everything that he’s done, and he decides to go take control of the rocket that’s about to blast off and fly into Tokyo and detonate it elsewhere with himself inside it. In the second to last episode.

Pictured: a guy about to get his shit rocked

Now. Remember when I told you about how I love how repetition is used as a narrative device? Kazami’s story is bookended with people blowing themselves up to both save humanity and also to help him out. To contrast Hongo and Hayato though, Yuki’s… mostly human. I think Kazami makes a fair enough assumption at this point. Same one as you or I would probably make if our boyfriend blew up in front of us. This shit hits nuts for me. What a weird way to wrap back around and bring this thing full circle, giving us a man who has now once more lost someone who was very, very important to him, really one of the very few people who he has who can understand certain things about him, who was willing to give his life to help Kazami accomplish what was originally meant to be revenge for the family he lost at the start. This isn’t a happy ending to the show, this isn’t Taki flying back to the US with an emotional goodbye at the airport, this is Kazami just up and leaving and riding off into the distance. Not checking in with Tachibana or anyone, just going. You can’t really fault him. After everything that’s happened I’d need a moment of quiet and a little bit of time to think too.

From the beginning Kazami was warned about becoming a cyborg and wanted to do it anyway and got himself into a situation where he had to become one. Honestly I’m inclined to believe that he did expect being borged to be the end result of essentially sacrificing himself or at least for Hongo to be more sympathetic to his desire after he helped them out of that jam they found themselves in, but who’s to say… regardless, it’s a really fun show about a compounding tragedy and loss and challenging your views and a guy working through one hell of a lot.

Pictured: say the gender line, king

YEAH FUCK YEAH I RECOMMEND THIS ONE but maybe watch 1971 rider first i think you’ll get more out of it that way lol

BONUS CAPS FOR EVERYONE WHO MADE IT THIS FAR:

incredible special effects

they're doing it standing up

you know exactly what i'm getting at with these two

this one's just real good

>:|

okay that's all for real. BYE

#jumpscare warning for me writing with proper capitalization #official bugtransport 2023 media recap #i will not be reading any replies to this post thank you i'm ignoring it #get at me directly if you want to talk about it #rider roundup #kamen rider v3

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