#i think sharing food is a universally good way 2 make friends and it always warms my heart 2 meet ppl who r the same (❁´◡`❁)

[ma1dita]

partners in crime

luke castellan x fem!dionysus!reader [the trouble!verse]

MAIN SERIES MASTERPOST

summary: few things are certain in this life as a demigod, but one thing is for sure— you can’t fight fate when it pulls you and luke castellan together, over and over again. two young people who hate the gods are more like them than they think, for better or worse. annoyances to best friends to lovers

things to know: dionysus!reader's nickname is trouble & most of these can be read as standalones!

here's a playlist (spotify & apple music links now available!)

child of dionysus headcanons!

trouble!verse moodboard 1 & moodboard 2 & college!trouble by the lovely @24kmar

deleted scenes from a different universe (AUs)

play the extended cuts (blurbs from in-between)

character study: luke castellan & trouble

any works, updates, thoughts, musings, etc about this series will be tagged under #trouble!verse !

key: fluff - ☼ angst - ☽ smut - ☆ jo's favorites - ᥫ᭡

[rewind to before] pre-established relationship

trouble always finds me (trouble!reader origin story) 1.7k ☼

The one where he could tell you were trouble from the day he met you. (You're an annoyance, but not an enemy)

entropy ☼

The one where you both blur the lines between annoyance and admiration. (the promise of becoming partners in crime)

buddy system 4.2k ☼

The one where he comes with you to rescue your younger twin brothers, Pollux & Castor. (this is as close to a real quest that Mr. D will give you--might as well take someone you trust!)

somebody's angel 4.4k ☽

The one where you convince him he’s pretty, even with a scar. (songfic - Die Alone - Finneas)

feed the fire 1.2k ☼

The one where his focus is not on spilled food, but on you. (Luke realizes this is more than playful banter)

bedtime stories 2.4k ☼

The one where night shift with him runs late, but you don’t mind at all. (the both of you have feelings you want to admit, but duty calls!)

crazy little thing 3.4k ☼

The one where he uses all his drachmas to make you smile on Valentine's Day. (the Apollo kids are better matchmakers than Aphrodite, sometimes)

anything you want 1.6k ☼

The one where you and him have your first kiss. (You've always loved teaching the story of Orpheus and Eurydice; except when your Orpheus runs away from you)

said he likes crazy 2.1k ☼ ☽

The one where only he can help you with a bad day, even if he's avoided you since your first kiss. (For being a son of Hermes, he has a way of calming your nerves)

[pause and remember us like this] established relationship

play pretend 5.1k ☼

The one where Mr. D catches you two in the act, but you and him aren’t exactly together yet. (Drunk words are sober thoughts. Your dad just wishes Luke told you instead of him)

a wish your heart makes 1.4k ☼ ☽

The one where you share dreams, burn cookies, and it still reminds him of home. (The dryads will probably ban you from the kitchen after this)

chance encounters ☼

The one where you both daydream about different lives. (You think you'd find him anywhere, by soul alone)

to see the chaos through ☽

The one where he remembers he was never a good guy, just yours. (Luke makes the ultimate deal with the devil in order to save you)

not your goddess ☽

The one where you both know the best of days eventually have to come to an end. (songfic - Goddess - Laufey)

don't blame the kids ☼

The one where you both chaperone a trip to Mount Olympus. (the Olympians are bigger gossips than you thought they'd be)

trouble's coming for you 3.7k ☼

The one where Percy meets his two favorite counselors at Camp Half-Blood. (three times Percy is oblivious (and in the way) and the time he realizes you and Luke are in love)

now that we're older 3.5k ☼

The one where he asks if you can stay the night even if all of cabin 11 makes fun of him. (Luke is tired of the routine. He just needs his girl)

if you need to be mean (be mean to me) 1.5k☽

The one where he leaves before you wake up. (songfic - I Don't Smoke - Mitski )

[fast forward until we meet again] post-tlt

lovers, or partners in crime 2.1k ☽

The one where Annabeth and Percy think you’re guilty too. (the last day leading up to Luke's betrayal)

love like a blister: the five stages of loving losing luke 4.7k ☽

The one where you learn to mourn someone even if they’re still alive. (the five stages of grief after facing a loss)

to catch a thief 3.7k ☼ ☽

The one where duty calls at Camp Half-Blood. Again. (Your reunion with Luke isn't quite what you expected.)

solipsism 5.3k ☽

The one where you finally pray to Hestia to keep your home safe, even if he's also trying to destroy it. (the four times Luke uses Backbiter to visit you during college ft. the first time you trust a god to help you)

angel with a broken wing ☼ ☽

The one where he falls from grace and still thinks of you. (the four women Luke Castellan risked it for and how it will end up killing him)

love me dry (LATEST ADD) 4.5k ☼ ☽

The one where he meets you at his mother's house, though both of you didn't expect the other to be there. (a glimpse into May Castellan's idea of a perfect day)

when the curtains close☽

The one where you lose two people in the Labyrinth that day. All strings are cut. (Annabeth and Pollux find out the biggest difference between you and Luke.)

asking for trouble ☽

The one where Luke's final wish is to see you. (He's himself again, and all he wants is to find out if the trouble was worth it all)

as above, so below ☽ ☼

The one where you plead your case with the gods of Olympus. (The one thing the fates didn't expect was how much you'd both be like your fathers; in a way, you and Luke didn't see it coming either)

ask to be added to luke/general taglist 🥹

#made by ma1dita ♥︎ #luke castellan x reader #pjo series #luke castellan x dionysus!reader #pjo imagines #luke castellan x reader fanfic #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson and the olympians #🪽 #trouble!verse #percy series #pjo x reader #jo's navi <3

[endlessthxxghts]

What You Need

no outbreak!neighbor!joel miller x afab!reader || W/C: ≈6.3k

Summary: You come home from a horribly stressful day at University to everything in your family home a complete mess only for you to take care of. Joel helps you and gives you exactly what you need.

Warnings: SUUUPER self indulgent (sorry guys - it makes for a good plot tho, so i’m not all that sorry <3). no use of “y/n”, age gap (22/42), LATINO JOEL MILLER (idc what anyone says, he needs a warning), established relationship, no physical descriptions of reader, pet names (darlin’, sweet girl, pretty girl, princess, etc.), reader “takes care of everyone but who takes care of her” plot, more porn than plot lol, [SMUT 18+ MDNI] daddy kink, sir kink, heavy on the D/s dynamic (reader falls into subspace), cockwarming, unprotected piv (don’t be like these 2 idiots), breeding kink, cum eating, creampie, finger fucking, finger sucking (briefly), choking, hair pulling, brief thoughts about anal, overstimulation/multiple orgasms, hickeys/marking kink, squirting!, toy use, fluffy ending… i think that’s it?? (dear lord pls forgive me, for i have sinned)  if i missed anything, lmk pls!

Quick lil author’s note (see bottom for extended a/n): In all honesty, I wanna dedicate this (nasty) little one shot to @javierpena-inatacvest because if it wasn’t for our interactions as of late plus reading your “It’s Never Too Late” fic, I never would’ve said fuck it and just start writing with the intention of potentially showing it to the world. Thank you for inspiring me. You’re amazing & I literally love u so so much. You deserve phenomenal head all the love in the world for everything you do <3.

MAIN MASTERLIST || ONESHOT COLLECTION

It was a long day at university today, as per usual, but something about today completely drained you. 

You went to bed past midnight last night because you were busy finishing up a paper, only to get up at 7am the next morning to spend the next 13 hours juggling between classes, assignments, and studying in your “free” time. By the time you were ready to head back home, you were on your very last thread, begging to snap. You also completely spaced on nourishing your body today, the only thing running through it being water and coffee — lots of coffee. 

That’s not even the worst part. The worst part is that the minute you entered your family home, the entire house was an absolute mess, your pets weren’t given their food yet, and no dinner was made. And just like every other day since you grew into an acceptable height to reach the kitchen stove, you took care of it. All of it. 

You were so grateful to your family for allowing you to stay at home during your undergraduate years. It makes your in-state tuition even cheaper, and you get the comfort of your own bed. You knew not many people could rely on their parents and family like this, so you don’t want to sound selfish when you think about how you really wish you had your own place right about now. 

It’s been an hour and a half since you've been home, and you’re barely finishing up getting the food for your dogs when your phone dings in your back pocket. 

Didn’t text me when you got home, baby. Everything okay?

It was from Joel. The neighbor directly across from you, and a quickly growing family friend of yours. Your heart both saddens at the fact that you forgot your unspoken ritual, but it swells at the way he can read you. 

It all began at a small family party last year. You were 21 at the time, and for some reason you could not take your eyes off of your neighbor — who was 20 years your senior. It was always just shared glances or you bringing baked goods from your stress-baking endeavors, but at that party, there was a good period of time where your entire family went outside to the bonfire in the backyard to drink until their hearts gave out, leaving you with the dishes and a trashed house to clean. Joel noticed this, how much they relied on you. Whether it was coming over for a beer with your brothers or your father, or to fix an appliance for your older sister, they always walked all over you — when you did absolutely everything for them. So, he took matters into his own hands and went inside to help you clean up. 

You insisted he didn’t need to, but you knew he wouldn’t let up. So, there, you two worked, harmoniously, straightening up your home in half the time it would normally take you by yourself. The second you completed the last task, you reached for the remote and plopped yourself on the couch, half expecting Joel to go back outside with your family. Except, he plopped himself on the couch right next to you with the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen, “What are we watchin’, darlin’?” 

“You know you could’ve stayed outside with everyone else, Miller,” you say as you turn your body to him with an eyebrow quirked up. He matches your expression, “Well, where’s the fun in that?” 

You break into a breathy little giggle, satisfied with his comeback, and you turn on the TV. With your family completely occupied outside, it was easy for either of you to make a move. And although Joel had been planning to for the last few months before this party, you took matters into your own hands and lifted his arm closest to you, tucked yourself into his side and pulled his arm back around your body. He looked down at you, smirking at your boldness while your eyes remained fixed on the movie before you. 

The next few hours of the night were filled with secret caresses and stolen kisses, and you have never felt more loved and appreciated in your life. From then on, you’ve been absolutely smitten with him, and he with you. 

Instead of replying, you dial him instead. Not even a third ring goes by before he answers, “Baby.” 

“Oh my god, hi, baby, I’m so sorry. I completely spaced. The minute I got home, the house was a mess, the dogs weren’t fed yet, dinner wasn’t even cooked, and I-”

“Mi amor,” he says with a deep breath, implicitly telling you to take one, “it’s okay, baby. I don’t wanna hear sorry from you. I’m sorry everythin’ is a mess, baby. Can I help? Need me to come over?”

Your rapid heart rate immediately starts to slow at how calming, ready and willing he is to give you anything you need. Your family would go absolutely insane if Joel just showed up right now with the sole intention of helping you take care of the home and yourself, but you don’t mention that. “No, baby, I promise I’m okay. I just need to relax. I need-” you pause for a moment to take another breath because you feel your body going panicky again. “I need…honestly, I just need you.” 

After the shitty day you’ve had today, having to take control of every single thing, honestly all you really want, and need, right now is for your control to be taken away. You don’t want to think, you don’t want to decide, and you don’t even want to figure out your dinner even though you haven’t eaten all day. 

He pauses for a moment, hearing the slight whine at your last statement. And just like that, Joel is at your rescue. “You need me, huh, babygirl?” 

“Mhm, please.” 

“Cross the street, darlin’, right now,” and he hangs up the phone. 

You bolt out of your seat, and sprint straight to the front door, quickly locking it. You think to say something on the Ring camera, letting your family know you’ll be back, but you know they won’t even think twice at your absence. You already cleaned the house and took care of the animals they begged for but don’t care for — why else would they look for you? 

Just in case they do check the cameras, however, you immediately veer to the left side of your driveway into the blind spots of your front door. 

Within seconds, you’re at his door about to knock, but he’s already opening the door, whispering a soft hi followed by your name, and pulling you into a tight embrace. He pulls you away for a second, assessing your face, assessing your needs. He sees your brows pulled together, eyes glossed over, and a pout beginning to form. You don’t need soft and comforting. You need stern, dominating control. You need nothing but pure bliss, and he’s going to give that to you. But first: 

“Safe words. Repeat em’.” 

“Red for hard stop, yellow if I’m starting to get uncomfortable, and green to keep going.” 

“That’s my girl,” he says and finally pulls you in for that rough, all-consuming kiss you’ve been craving. It’s a battle of teeth and tongue, and obviously he wins. His hands are roughly sliding down to the underside of your asscheeks, tightly pulling you into his hardening bulge. You reach up to wrap your arms around his neck, but pause for a moment because he never gave you permission to. He senses that, and pulls back for just a moment. “Such a good fuckin’ girl for me. Go ‘head, baby, touch me.” 

You immediately bring your arms back up to grab ahold of him but too riled up in how he’s making you feel, you don’t notice the huge grumble your empty tummy makes. He pulls both your wrists back from his neck and puts an insufferable amount of space between you two. 

He says your name, filled with both concern and slight anger. “When was the last time you ate?” 

Silence. 

He lets go of your wrist and grabs your chin between his pointer and thumb, forcing you to meet his eyes. “I’m not askin’ again, baby.”

“Y-yesterday night,” you stumble out. 

“I’m not givin’ you a heavy meal ‘cause that’ll just upset your stomach, but I am fixin’ you somethin’. Go upstairs, change into the clothes on the bed, come back down and position yourself on the ottoman, like I taught ya last week, hm?”

Too enamored by his roughly smooth voice, all you can muster up is a nod. His eyebrow barely shifts, but that’s all a warning you need. “Yes, sir.” 

Padding up into his room, already feeling your insides start to float, you reach the edge of his bed to see a pair of black cheeky boxers, and a thin, fitted black tee. You quickly strip off everything you arrived here in and slip on the garments he gave you. Wasting no time, you head back down in a bee line to the ottoman. 

Like I taught ya last week, hm?

His words echo in your mind as you begin to recall last week’s endeavors. 

You were straddling his lap for a while now, slowly swallowing each other’s moans and making every part of each other’s body ingrained into your memories. Until suddenly he pulls back, eyes dead set with intention. “You trust me, baby?”

“Always, Joel,” you say back with as stern a voice as possible, confused as to why he’d ask such a thing. “Can I teach you somethin’, then, darlin’?”

You pull him into one more kiss before you breathily tell him yes and pull yourself off his lap to stand before him, fully at his disposal. 

He stands up, and without any verbal indications, he’s grabbing onto you and molding your body onto the ottoman in a position that begins to drift you off into subspace. You don’t know if it’s the fact that you're sitting on your knees with your legs tucked under you, or if it’s the slow drag of his hands caressing your inner thighs, pulling them farther apart from each other. Or maybe it’s the way he softly places your hands, palms up, atop of your thighs. Whatever the hell it is, you absolutely fucking love it. 

He feels you melting into every little touch he makes and he notes every little moment you slip further and further into your space. “Doin’ okay, my sweet girl?” he asks, voice dark and sweet. 

All you can pull out of yourself is a pathetic little whine and a head nod. 

“This is position number one. Remember it. We’ll learn more later, but this’ll do just fine for a while, baby.”

And with that, he kisses you ever so softly but with such a dominating, addictive energy that you feel yourself try to push up into him, and immediately he pulls away. 

“Sweet girl, Imma let it slide this time, but you do not move from this position unless given permission. Ya hear?”

You return to your original position and assure him how good you’ll be, “Won’t happen again, daddy, I promise.”

His jaw clenches at the honorific; that’s your number one tell that signifies you’ve completely submitted and fallen into subspace. He had originally planned on giving you what you asked for two days ago — “Please, Joel, I need you to fuck me, hard.” — but seeing you all docile and ready for him just makes him want to absolutely praise you in the most beautiful ways possible. 

So that’s what he did. For hours. An hour of bending you over the ottoman to eat your pussy like a man who had all the time in the world, an hour of fingering orgasm after orgasm out of you while his mouth switched between licking and marking your tits, and a few hours after that just slowly fucking you into his mattress, caressing and loving on every single part of your body he could reach. 

Let’s just say, your family didn’t see you for the rest of that day or the next, and you did not care one fucking bit. 

You shuffle onto the ottoman, your form now perfected after secretly practicing each night to increase your endurance of staying in such a position for however long Joel needed you to. 

You wait for about five more minutes before he comes back with a platter of all of your favorite fruits — strawberries, mangoes, and pineapple — and sits on the cushioned seat right in front of you. He melts at how good you sit for him, immediately disregarding his original plan and wanting you as close to him as possible. 

“My good, beautiful girl,” he says softly, in a way that you’re not sure if it was even meant for you to hear, but you still melt nonetheless. “Come,” he says as he pats his lap while setting the plate off to the table beside him. 

You shoot up like a lightning bolt, too excited at the thought of being able to feel him again, but before you can climb up, he grabs your hips, stopping you for a second. He slides his fingers into the hem of your underwear and slowly slides them completely off of you, setting them neatly on the ottoman behind you. He slowly reaches for his belt, then slides it off, letting it fall somewhere on the ground. You stand completely still, patiently waiting for whatever he’s going to give you, although your pussy is proving anything but patient. 

He undoes the button and zipper of his jeans and signals for you to come up. “Take me out, cariño.”

You climb up on his thighs, not fully straddling him to give yourself some room to tug his jeans and boxers down enough to pull him free. You pull him free with a small moan escaping your lips, wanting to dart your tongue out and lick his angry tip, but he didn’t give his permission for that. So, you begrudgingly let him go, and wait for what comes next. 

“Here’s what’s gonna happen,” he states nonchalantly as if his dick isn’t absolutely begging for you to reach out and grab it. “You’re gonna sit on my cock, keep me nice and warm. Without moving. Only until you’ve eaten all the fruit on this plate will I think about what’s gonna happen next. Got it?”

Your voice trembles, “Y-yes, sir.” 

He nods his head, while bringing his hand up to your mouth, signaling for you to let your drool fall. You scoot closer and lift your hips up while he pumps himself a few times to completely cover himself in your spit. With how much your cunt is dripping, you knew his lewd act was for his benefit and his only. 

The second his tip catches at your entrance, you can’t control the high-pitch whine that falls from your mouth, and he can’t stop himself from gripping your hips with a bruising force in an attempt to keep from mercilessly pounding up into you right here. 

“So f-fucking full,” you breath out as you sink lower and lower, to which he nearly growls with a strained, “So fucking tight.”

You finally bottom out, and you both take a moment to breathe and settle any impulsive thoughts of forgetting the purpose of tonight’s scene. You shift a little to adjust to settle your legs more comfortably at his sides, while he leans over to bring your plate of fruit closer. Both your actions together make you hiss in desperation.

“Color, baby?”

“Green, sir, green,” you promise him.

He smiles, genuine and bright, before his face goes dark and smug again. He picks up a piece of pineapple with his fingers. “Open.”

You lean in and take the sweet fruit from his fingers, making sure to lick any residual of the pineapple’s sweet juices. This goes on until you’ve finished every last piece he cut for you. Towards the last few pieces, your pussy was absolutely drenching his cock with your slick, both your thighs and his soaked. He could feel every pulse and every flutter, and no matter how patient he usually was, something in the air tonight was testing every ounce of his strength. 

He sets the plate aside and licks a mix of fruit juices and your spit clean off his fingers. You watch him, completely entranced by the way his tongue wraps around his thick fingers, and you can’t help but feel such an aching need to throw yourself at him. 

So you do. And to your surprise, he allows it. You pull both his arms to wrap around your middle and you push yourself into him for a searing kiss, whimpering for him to slip you his tongue. He indulges, and you immediately begin grinding your hips down onto his cock. He growls and wraps his arms tighter around you, adding more pressure into your grind, forcing you to break the kiss to regain your breath. “Fuck, baby. Such an impatient little one, aren’t ya?” He rasps out. 

Your hips move faster at his words, trying to will yourself to say something, anything, but you can’t. He notices your effort. “It’s okay, I’ve got you, baby, hm?”

And with that — with the notion that he’ll take care of you with anything you need — you completely fall. “Y- yes,” you moan out, “Da- fuck- daddy’s got me.”

Ah, there she is. Daddy’s girl. His back straightens so he’s towering over you more. He grabs your jaw tightly while you continue to pleasure yourself on his dick, forcing you to hold his stare. “Oh, sweet girl, daddy’s always gonna give ya what ya need. Promise, baby. Now be the good little girl I know you are and cum for me.”

You can feel him meet every movement of your hips, coaxing your high out of you faster than you realize. The wet, squelch your pussy makes every time you suck him in is enough to make him release his load, but he won’t. Not until you’ve came more times than ever before, not until you’re left completely fucked dumb. 

He snakes his hand down to the front, reaching for your clit, using his thumb to make mind-numbing, calculated circles. Your back arches at the sensation, head thrown back, and he brings his other free hand to the back of your neck to pull you closer into him. He ravishes your neck all over, sucking and biting all your weak spots, your pulse points, only to run his tongue over it in soothing motions, getting even more worked up at the marks that’ll form tomorrow. Then, he rips your shirt right in half, letting it fall to the ground. So much for makin’ you change, he thinks. He brings his mouth lower and lower, sucking one of your nipples in between his teeth, throwing you over the edge.

Your vision goes white, your entire body goes rigid, and your pussy uncontrollably flutters around his dick as he peppers your neck and chest with more kisses while you come back down. 

Your body is now soft and pliant, fully ready for whatever more Joel is going to give you. Your head is still high up in the clouds, and it will be for a while, but he always knows how to take care of you. You feel him slowly lift you off his dick and you hear him groan as he looks down. 

“God fucking damn, doll, look at you all over me. Such a fuckin’ mess.”

Your face heats up immediately, “I- I’m sorry, daddy, I-”

He grabs your jaw again and pulls you in for a sloppy kiss, all teeth and tongue. He pulls away bringing your bottom lip with him until he lets go, letting it fall back into place, now wet with his spit. “Don’t fuckin’ apologize for that. You made daddy so proud, baby. So much so that you’re gonna do it again for me,” he says as he squeezes your ass cheek. 

You squeak out a gasp and a breathy please. He stands up and makes his way to his bedroom with you still wrapped around him like a koala. 

Immediately he throws you on the bed, and before you’re able to scramble up towards the pillows, he’s already pushing you up by the thighs and kneeling between your spread legs. 

He releases one thigh for a quick second and holds his hand out, “Pillow, baby.” It takes your blissed mind one moment to register, but as soon as it does, you don’t waste a second, grabbing the pillow next to your head and eagerly handing it to him. He takes the pillow and taps your thigh twice, signaling for you to lift up. He secures the pillow under your hips then brings both his large hands back to the underside of your thighs, pushing your legs up so you’re nearly folded in half, giving him complete access to your dripping heat. 

If there’s one thing about Joel Miller, it’s that he loves to make a fucking mess. You thought your first sensation would be one flat lick up your cunt, but instead you feel warmth. Wet and warm and everywhere, and finally you realize, he let his mouth fill with spit only to absolutely drench you with it. Once he’s satisfied with his mess only then does he dive into you like a man starved. Licking and pushing into your slit while the tip of his nose rubs against your clit has you climaxing in an instant, your back arching and your hips lifting as much as they can with the weight of his hands on your thighs keeping you in place. 

He lets one hand slowly slide off your thigh and up your belly until he reaches one of your tits, switching between grabbing your entire breast and pinching your nipple. He continues to lick at you and circle your clit with his tongue until you’re a complete whining mess from the overstimulation. “Daddy, please,” you moan. 

He lifts his head, eyes as black as ever, “I’ve got you, princess, you can take it.” He reluctantly breaks away from your cunt and kisses his way up your body, taking his time with sloppy, open mouthed kisses near your hip bone and your sternum, knowing those areas drive you crazy the most. He makes sure to bite a little extra hard in some areas on his journey up, knowing you love to admire all the marks and bruises he makes on you. 

He sucks another bruise right underneath your jaw, making you push up into him more, while his hands continue to wander and grasp every part of your body that he can. Finally he reaches your mouth and gives you a sweet, long kiss to your mouth, distracting you enough that you don’t see him reach for the vibrator in the nightstand beside the bed. You feel him slide his hand back down your body, but you still don’t realize the vibrator’s presence until you feel the buzz directly on your clit. 

Out of pure reaction, your hand flies to the nape of his neck and tugs sharply, all while obscenities fall pathetically from your mouth, “Oh- f-fuck, daddy, yes! J-just like that, please, please don’t stop…” The quick-paced, blinding pleasure builds so fast it cuts off your dirty mouth and reduces you down to moans and gasps and whines of daddy, daddy, daddy. 

He slips two fingers into your pussy, sliding in with so much ease with how wet you are from a combination of your cream and his spit, all while he uses his other hand to push the vibrator into your bundle of nerves. 

You don’t know whether it has been one minute or one hour of this, but all you know is that you’ve got sweat lining your forehead, beading down your body, and you absolutely can’t take the buzzing pleasure with the constant come-here motion with his fingers anymore, you have to let go. Although this time, it feels different than the rest of the times Joel has made you cum. This time… this time it feels like- you have to pee? 

Immediately you start to panic and try to break away from his hold, unable to allow yourself to fucking pee all over him. “Daddy, wait! Please stop.. it- it feels different, like I.. I think I’m gonna pee..” you gasp, trying to articulate your thoughts while he continues his torture on your cunt. 

His eyes go wide and it immediately registers for him, “Fuck, baby, don’t worry about that, just let go. Come on, daddy’s got you. You trust me?” 

You hesitate for a moment, but still, you know the answer, “Y-yes, daddy.” 

“Good, my princess. Cum for me, fuckin’ soak me. I told you I wanted another fuckin’ mess,” he demands and fucks you even harder with his fingers and increases the pressure of the vibrator. 

You all but scream, definitely sure the neighbors can hear you, but you don’t give a fuck with the fireworks erupting behind your eyes and all throughout your body. Your body is still convulsing and you’re sure you’ve gone unconscious for a moment, but what brings you back to the Earth is the feeling of a warm, flat tongue licking you all over, cleaning you up. Then another sensation hits you: your bottom half is completely fucking drenched. You muster up all the strength you can to open your eyes and look down to see what’s going on. 

You see your big, broad man licking you up so sweetly, but from his mouth down he is also absolutely soaked, down to the collar of his dark green shirt he was wearing. 

Holy fuck. You fucking squirted. That was new. And with Joel’s reaction to it, you’re definitely sure that’s not gonna be the last time he pulls that out of you. 

He doesn’t realize you’re up again until you’re softly calling his attention back up to you and not your pussy. He makes eye contact with you, and his eyes fucking sparkle. Yeah, there’s no way this was a one time kind of thing. He sits back up on his haunches and strips himself of his shirt. He never pulled his jeans back up from when you used him to get off in the living room, so his dick has been patiently waiting for attention since your last two orgasms. 

He strips himself completely at the bottom half, too, leaving you with a perfect view of his toned chest, softer middle, and bulging arms and shoulders. Your cunt, all used and abused, fucking clenches on nothing at the naked sight of him. Of course, he fucking notices. 

“Oh, my poor baby. She’s just fuckin’ beggin’ to be filled, huh?” His southern drawl always intensifies whenever he gets spurred on like this. And, fuck, if it doesn’t make you fold more than you already do. 

You whine at his words and spread your legs even wider for him to see what’s rightfully his. 

“Just beggin’ to get pumped full of my fuckin’ cum, huh, princess? Is that what she wants? That what my babygirl wants?” 

“Please, daddy! Yes, that’s what I- what I need, daddy… need you ins- fuck- need you inside, daddy,” you ramble out, already fucked stupid but still begging for more. He situates himself on top of you, stopping your begging with a harsh kiss that leaves your already swollen lips throbbing. “Shhh, I’m gonna give you what you need, darlin’,” and he kisses you one more time as he begins to notch his tip at your entrance. 

He hooks his arm underneath your knee, hiking your one leg up higher to open you completely. You feel him start to push in deeper, and neither of you can help the initial gasp of how good it feels to be consumed by one another. He leans down again to kiss you, unable to get enough of your lips on his, and you bring your hand back up to the back of his head, keeping him close to you, feeling the exact same way. 

He completely bottoms out into you then, his breathing labored and you, a whimpering mess. No matter how many times you two have fucked, his sheer size always makes you feel like it’s the first time. He stays still to let you get used to the feeling again. You both lay there for a few minutes, kissing and consuming each other’s breaths and moans while he gives you rhythmic little grinds to stimulate your clit. Your pussy is sobbing at this point, enough wetness has accumulated that he’s able to slide right out until just the tip is in you and he pushes right back in, hard. 

He fucks you hard, maintaining this rhythm for a while, completely consumed by the way you wrap around him so perfectly. What started off as one leg hiked up around him turned into a complete mating press, giving you the maximum sensation of his length and girth pumping in and out of you. He always gets so foul-mouthed whenever you two end up in this position, not that you’d ever complain because you love hearing that rough, sexy Southern drawl utter absolute filth that only your ears will ever get to hear. 

“Fuck, darlin’, it’s like she was fuckin’ made for me. Wrapped around my cock, so fucking tight and warm. I could spend fuckin’ forever here wrapped up in your tight fuckin’ cunt,” he groans. 

“All for you, daddy, always,” you respond, purposefully squeezing your pussy tight in time with your words. That drives him absolutely fucking crazy that he pulls his arm upwards in between your legs that are resting on his torso and brings his hand up to wrap around your throat. “Say it again,” he growls, “tell me who the fuck this pussy belongs to, baby.” He squeezes the sides of your neck tighter, creating an even lighter sensation in your head coupled with the submissive daze you’ve been in since you got here. 

“F-fuck, d-daddy- shit,” you can’t focus on anything but the way he feels wrapped around your neck while balls deep inside of you. 

“Darlin’ girl,” he warns, “don’t make me repeat myself.”

You sob out, willing your body to respond to him, willing your body to obey, “Th- this pussy belongs t- to-“ you take a breath, “to you, daddy, only you. Forever.” 

He releases your throat and pulls your legs down from the mating press, wrapping them around his waist instead. He places one hand at the back of your head and the other on the headboard, then kisses you furiously before breaking away, “God damn f-fuckin’ right, princess. All fuckin’ mine to do whatever I fuckin’ want.” And with that, he’s slamming into you, his hand on the headboard in a (wasted) attempt to save the wall from the constant banging. 

“Touch that pretty little clit, princess,” he breathes out, chasing his own release now with the sole intention of marking you with his seed. One hand still on his neck, the other snakes down to rub your clit in fast, messy circles, your body begging to cum for a fourth time tonight. “Daddy,” you whine out again, the honorific clearly being your only vocabulary for tonight. 

“I know, honey, I know,” he coos, “Cum for me, mama, and I’ll fill you up right fuckin’ now,” he sucks on your bottom lip, “You want that, baby? To be pumped full of me?” He knows your answer, yet he still asks anyway knowing how much his words affect you. 

“Please, God, yes, fill me up… I need your cum so fucking badly, I need to feel you, please,” you beg, only spurring him on more. 

With both of your mouths spilling such dirty words, his lips anywhere they can reach with the combination of you playing with your clit and him pounding into you, your body enters the astral plane yet again for the fourth time tonight. Though, this time, you force your body to come back down, so you can feel his warmth spill into you. 

It only takes but a few more thrusts after you climax for him to follow suit, roaring out as hot, thick ropes of cum spill into you, overflowing and dripping out of your sore cunt. He slowly pulls out, labored breathing, sits back up and just watches. Watches as your pussy clenches to keep him locked inside of you, watches as his load drips down your folds over your tight, little asshole. Another day, he thinks to himself with a smirk. 

He doesn’t even realize what he’s doing until his fingers are engrossed in the thick combination of your releases. You moan out at the sensitivity of your pussy, but Joel doesn’t care. He slips his middle and ring finger in, feeling just how much he filled you up. And before you know it, he’s pumping in and out of you yet again, his eyes completely focused on your glistening sex, hitting that spongy spot inside of you that has you fluttering for another fucking release. 

“Ahh,” you hiss, not knowing whether you want him to stop or keep going. He uses his other hand to rub on your clit. Fuck. Yeah, okay, you want him to keep going. “Shit, daddy, I’m gonna cum again,” you say as you scramble to get ahold of the bedsheets. 

Joel’s gaze breaks away from your cunt to look at you, he smirks like the devil, “Oh, yeah, honey? Gonna give me another one? Come on, baby, I know you have it in you,” he slips a third finger inside. You whine at the stretch. “One more mess, baby, and then I’ll take care of you, I gotcha,” he says for comfort. 

You’re nearing the point where you guys usually begin to transition into aftercare, and he knows. He always knows. But he also knows that today you need a little extra push, so he gives it to you. 

The thrusts of his fingers don’t come to a stop, but they exponentially slow. “Give me a color, mi amor,” he softly encourages. Even with your erratic breathing, you’re able to force out, “Oh my god, daddy, green, green, green, please go faster, just like before, please-” 

He quickly leans forward and stops your blabbering with a chaste kiss and chuckles when he pulls back, “My god, I love you so much, princess.” Then his fingers pick back up to the speed you were so desperately loving before, his and your cum leaking out all over the inside of your thighs. 

“Fuck, daddy, I love you so fucking much, fuck, thank you, thank you,” you cry out. A few more pumps and a few more circles to your clit and you’re cumming for the fifth (and final) time tonight. Joel groans at the way you finish on his fingers, and it’s his mouth that blabbers out this time.

“Shit, baby, yes, soak my fuckin’ fingers, let me feel you, fuck-” He’s so enthralled at the sight before him, he doesn’t hear you pleading for him to stop pushing in and out until the honorific fades, “Baby, baby, baby,” you frantically breathe. 

He makes eye contact with you again and realizes how caught up he was in you. “Oh, darlin’, shit, I’m sorry, mi amor. What’s your color, baby? Fuck, I’m sorry-” 

It’s you this time who forces your entire wobbly body to push up and meet him in a bruising kiss. “Stop, daddy,” you say with a lilt in your tone, signaling to Joel that you’re back from subspace. You smirk, “My color is green, cowboy, but I really need you to run me a warm bath now because I can’t move a single muscle with how you had me, baby,” and pull him in once more for another kiss. 

His smugness returns and he pushes you back down on his bed, peppering your face and neck with kisses, forcing sweet out-of-breath giggles from you. “That, I can do, baby. May I join you?”

Your face completely softens, your stresses and worries from the last 24 hours completely nonexistent. “I’d be mad if you didn’t, Miller.” 

The next hour and a half — or until the bath water becomes tepid — is spent with him cherishing your body, washing you with your lavender, oat milk body wash you love so much, ultimately just helping you softly come down from your oxytocin high. 

You’ve never felt more loved, appreciated, or taken care of in your life. He always makes sure your come down is smooth and unnoticeable as you fall from a blissed state of mind to one of pure love and adoration. As long as you have him in your life, you truly believe you have all of what you need. 

As he’s drying your body up and slipping you into one of his t-shirts, your stomach growls… loudly. 

“Darlin’...” 

You pull away from his grasp, jokingly rolling your eyes while smirking, “Yeah, yeah, Miller. Come on. Gotta fill me up again, don’tcha, cowboy?” 

“Jesus Christ,” he breathes out followed by your name, “Tryna put me in an early fuckin’ grave or what?”

Author’s note - extended: Hi guys! I birthed this little one shot on a Friday night while sippin’ on a glass of whiskey and stressing about the stressful entire week I just had. This isn’t my first time writing, in general, but this is my first time writing with the intention of truly producing a story out of it.. this is also my first story I’m posting, so I’m very nervous. Even if just one other person reads this and enjoys it, that’s all that matters to me <3 I also wanna give a quick thank you to my bestie, who’s an AVID smut reader, for proofreading this. She said, and I quote, “gotta change my panties” and “she’s growling” after reading this LMAOO. So, thank you for that, bestie. I love you with my whole heart.

As with any fic, reblog and comments are very much appreciated!! All feedback is appreciated, too!!! Please do let me know how you liked this, and if there's anything specific I could work to improve, I'd love to know! I hope I did okay for my first actual attempt at smut.

Much love to everyone! <3

.

EDIT: As of the new year 2024, I no longer do taglists!! Follow @endlessthxxghtsnotifs and turn on the notifications to be updated when new stories come out!!

#joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x you #joel miller fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller #pedrohub #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal characters #Pedro pascal fanfiction #Pedro pascal smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel x reader #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #tlou smut #smut #Joel miller fluff #Joel miller one shot #joel miller x female reader #pedro pascal #pedrostories #endless thoughts fics

[mocca-and-stars]

Roomies

Hwang Yeji x Male Reader

Yeji it's a weird kind of roomie... She isn't a bad company, but most of the time it's like she isn't there, you don't hear her walk, or eat, or anything, she usually gets in his room and you don't hear anything about her, you don't have a idea of what she can be doing, and also, she is a good girl... But for the little things you knows, it's your dream girl, you are usually the one who cook's, and you have no problem with it, you always make sure to make food for her, and you knew that she alway eat, because in the morning nothing lefts.

Your life usually is University-Home, you don't go so much to parties and celebrations, but you usually go out to rest in parks, you have a favorite one.

One day you planned an outing to the park, and you go to Yeji's room to advice her that you going out.

You opened his door, and you get surprised, she was crying, so bad, you didn't know what to do, she looked at you, lost, but she didn't seem disgusted or upset, so you tried sitting on her bed.

—Hey— you tried softly —what's happening princess—, "that sounded stupid" you thinked for yourself, she didn't response at all, but she changed his look, like she felt... Aroused? But know she smiles a little, you did something good.

She take his time, but she responded —I'm tired, I'm in this shitty situation, training and giving everything of me, but still not being enough for the people around me— you thinked your response, but after a deep breath, you finally close your eyes and tell her —i see, you have fear of deception, and reject, but instead of that, maybe you should get round by people who really appreciate who you are— her eyes are glowing, you can see it clearly.

You helped her to get up —Let's go, i will take you to a special place— she nodded, of course, you don't know what are you doing, your friends will kill you, but who cares? You are about to taking in a date a sexy girl who was your roomie for like three years and you barely talked to each other.

You get to a "secret" cafeteria, usually there are only 2 o 3 guys, and you bring her there, because there is where you go when the world is consuming you.

You two asked for a coffee and talked for HOURS all the time you didn't talked in the shared place you talked there, now you are sure that she is your dream girl.

How could you complain if she looks like that? You two go back to the shared place, everything felt better, like always has to be like that, you two were taking hands, you feel incredible, for the first time in years you were with a women, and THE women, before you two entered to the house she stopped you.

—Thank you— she said —but now we aren't roomies anymore— you didn't understand what she mean, but she responded your doubt with the best thing you could ever imagine, she is kissing you, right now, in this moment, your roomie is kissing you and it felt so right, you loved her, that's for sure.

For a moment you think maybe it's too soon to think about sleep with her, but in the next moment she was on top of you, on his bed.

She took out his white sweater, that was crazy enough to block any thought in your mind, you taked out your t-shirt, response, she was professionally mounting you, his hips were devouring devouring your hardened she, you desired her, but not only in the sexual way, you wanted to make her yours, and also to belong to her, so you grabbed his hips, to catch his lips in a passionate kiss, finally decided to remove his pants.

When both of you are only in underwear, the things were heating up even more, you reach her breasts without the need of asking, in the moment that she doesn't hesitate, you knew that she was trusting in you, you played with her breasts until she almost beg you to stop —Please...— was the only plea you need to hear to remove her bra, and look to her hardened nipples, she blushed a little, but your were too sure to stop, your mouth taked the pace, she taste so good, and her cute moans wasn't helping at all.

While you were eating her nipples, she was touching herself, you felt a little bit angry, and taked her wrist to pin her against the bed, she was in love with your form of dominance, of course if you will restrain her self pleasure, you will have to take care of that, you slide through his panties, you just looked at her, waiting for confirmation, after a nod, you got that pretty girl naked for you, that dream girl was begging for you, for your touch, for your love.

You slide between her legs, you eated her so well, his pussy was so perfect, it tasted so good that only motivated even more to make a better job, see her moaning and happy was the only thing you needed.

When she felt confident enough she regained control to take out your underwear, and suddenly start to suck your cock, maybe you wasn't THAT big, but she look happy, and that's was everything, enough for both of you.

Then you take her to get in missionary, everything it's ready, it's the perfect moment.

Slowly you get inside of her, she hugged you from the neck, moan and squirms made you go slowly, until you filled her, completely, she was so relieved and relaxed, pounding her slowly she started to moan, as you move, you start to play with her clit, after some messy minutes, both of you finally came, ending your rommie relationship ship to get a lover, a couple and everything that you needed.

#itzy smut #yeji smut #kpop smut #hwang yeji #kpop

[bts-roses]

Hopelessly Romantic

summary - You used to say that a little romanticising never hurt anyone, turns out you were wrong. So wrong. (Unless...?)

pairing - Hoseok x reader

genre - university!au, fluff, a little angst, crushing & pining <3

word count - 7.4k

warnings - swearing :o, y/n goes through serious introspection, y/n goes through it

You always loved romance and love. You loved when your friend finally revealed his feelings to his crush after endless (and progressively annoying) pining for each other. You love when you see your regulars have their weekly Sunday date night at the restaurant you work at (you also love their tips). You love when couples share an umbrella when walking in the rain. Heck, you even love the socks with the tiny magnetic arms that when you stand next to someone with the same socks they hold hands! Like! Who cares if they are just inanimate socks? (They are holding hands!) You just love love!

Okay, so your friends/housemates might make fun of you for it. They might roll their eyes when you fawn over some minor interaction between two strangers in the street or when you dote on something slightly romantic that your professor said about his wife. Some of your friends may say you are overoptimistic. Or as Yoongi would call it: unrealistic.

But, you would argue that a little romanticising never hurt anyone! Can it be annoying sometimes? Yes! Do your friends have to mentally prepare themselves before confiding in you about anything to do with their romantic life? 100%! Can your romanticisation border on delusional? I mean, maybe sometimes? Or as Yoongi would say: all the time.

It's a little running joke in your friendship group that little Y/n is a little hopeless romantic who would even romanticise two street rats eating rotting food in a dumpster together (but also that is kind of cute, like they live in awful conditions but they still stay together?!).

So maybe that's why you keep your crush on a certain man in your class a secret. Or as you would say (then giggle and hide your face into your pillow), your secret.

You would admit that the sole reason that gets you out of bed for your Monday 9am lecture is the fact you can spend an hour glancing at the most perfect side profile to ever bless planet earth (oh, and sometimes the cute stories your professor reveals about his wife).

After 5 months of this class, you have perfected the routine to get the most out of this one hour experience. First, you (struggle to) get up at 7am. Then, do all your business and get clean. Then, you agonisingly choose your best outfit that is both (a) comfortable for an annoyingly early lecture and (b) also cute so that when he looks over to you, he thinks woah this hot babe knocks it out the park every time with their insanely cool yet effortless look like woah I need to propose or whatever. Then, you (maybe too excitedly) stroll to your lecture and get there with (and this is very important) exactly 4 minutes before the lecture begins. This is because exactly 5 minutes before the lecture begins, a certain someone (cue you giggling and hiding your face) finds a seat in the lecture hall. And that means you can choose the optimal seating position to be able to have sneaky glances at the most beautiful face you have ever laid your eyes upon (in a not creepy way). The said optimal seating position is around 1 or 2 rows behind and a good ten seats on either side of him. Both effective and not suspicious at all.

If they knew, your friends would call you crazy. Or as Yoongi would say: this would actually be great evidentiary support for a restraining order. But you swear if they have ever seen this man, they would be doing the exact same thing. You would also argue that you are not the only one who does this! Two weeks ago you noticed that a girl, who sat 5 rows in front of you (so 3 rows in front of him), spent most of the lecture staring at the man and it was very obvious. Clearly, someone needs to get an optimal seating position! And just a month ago, after the man answered one of the professor's questions, a group of people let out a very audible tee-hee at how unbelievably attractive his face was.

And, my God, what a face.

It's otherworldly and beautiful. And that side profile? His perfect nose? His heart-shaped lips? His amazing jawline? His somehow always sparkly eyes? And his kissable cheekbones that protrude a bit more when he bursts out into the most bright and breath-taking smile? Stunning.

It's even more stunning when it's directed at you. Tee-hee.

Plot twist! You aren't one to brag (you are going to fully brag). But there have been a few instances where your glances are requited.

Now it's time to replay them in excruciating detail!

The first time it happened, you were mid-sentence in typing some notes on the lecture slides when you habitually glanced over to Mr. Beautiful man. But when you look up, you find yourself already caught in the depths of his gaze. You nearly choked on the air at the realisation that this man was looking at you with his sparkling eyes that seemed to hold a playful glint within them and a soft smile tugged at the corner of his lips. For a heartbeat, time seemed to still as you held his gaze, and in that fleeting moment, you swear you felt a connection, a spark that made you bashfully look back to the lecture slides.

Another time this happened was when your professor was talking about the story of how he wooed his wife (every time he saw her, he pretended to trip over something so she would always remember him). You couldn't help but to accidentally let out a laugh louder than the rest of the class. But before you could cringe at yourself for the way your chuckle echoed around the room, you found yourself locking eyes with him, whose smile widened as your eyes met. You felt a warmth spread through you, as if his smile was meant for only you, and you couldn't help but smile back as he turned his head back around to the professor.

Not only that, but (not bragging at all) you have spoken to him a good two times.

Plot twist again!

He actually definitely knows who you are!

It's time to recount these events in even more excruciating detail!

1.

The first time he spoke to you was in the second week of the semester and it was also the first time you ever noticed him. As everyone stood up to pack their bags, you noticed that the person in front of you had left his water bottle behind on his desk. Noting the back of the man already half-way down the stairs, you grab the metal bottle and try to dash out of the lecture hall, scanning the corridor for any sign of him. Finally spotting him nearly walking out of the building, you hurried to catch up to him. As he opened the door, you shouted an 'excuse me' to the man.

As if it was in slow motion, he turned around and you don't know if you were hallucinating, but you swear you were nearly swept off your feet (it may have been the strong wind that the opening door let in). That was the first time you were graced with the most beautiful face you have ever seen, as he looked at you surprised and confused with his soft-looking hair flowing with the breeze.

You stutter at the sight of him, briefly forgetting why you even chased after him in the first place.

"O-oh, you forgot your bottle." You bashfully state, lifting the bottle towards him.

You look up at him (sigh he's tall) and you actually feel your heart stop when his lips curve into the most heart warming smile.

"Wow, thanks a lot", he gratefully says, taking back his bottle, "I'm Hoseok, by the way."

Hoseok.

You mirror his smile and try to not turn red as you reply "Y/n."

"Nice to meet you! Thanks again." He coolly says before continuing on his way.

He leaves you windswept and heart-stricken in the middle of the doorway.

(You quickly break out of it when annoyed students try to squeeze and push past you taking up the whole exit).

2.

The second time you converse with the man was 3 months after. And after a few exchanged glances, you're confident in saying that your attraction to this man has exponentially grown to unfathomable amounts.

You can safely say that you think you have a serious crush on this man.

This man being Hoseok. Because that's his name and he told you himself (tee-hee).

When you arrive at the lecture hall, you are greeted with an unfamiliar sight: people waiting outside of the room. When you walk up, you see the familiar faces you regularly see standing around and you deduce that the room must be locked (sometimes security forgets to unlock the lecture halls in the morning). As you lean against the wall and look down at your phone, you are surprised by the sudden voice next to you.

"This feels so weird standing around."

You look up and unconsciously let a smitten smile smother your face at Hoseok (tee-hee <3) next to you. You let yourself gaze at his breath-taking face for a moment. You feel your heart start racing again, as you stumble over what words to say.

"Yeah definitely, I'm so used to just sitting down before the professor gets here."

He glances at you, surprised you replied. In that moment you realise: he was talking to himself. That's awkward.

"No, yeah, I like to prep myself before a 9am lecture. I'm just wondering, who schedules 9am lectures on a Monday?" He light-heartedly comments, offering you one of his sweet smiles.

"You and me both, Hoseok. I'm wondering the same thing", you shyly respond, your smitten smile slightly burning your cheeks. Omg this is the longest conversation you have had with him!

You watch as his brows furrowed in confusion and his perfectly shaped head tilt to the side a bit. He lets out a bashful smile.

"Sorry, have we met before?" He lets out an embarrassed laugh and continues when you mirror his confusion, "You know my name?"

Oh...

You feel your heart sink a bit (a lot) and your lips move into a self-conscious smile. He doesn't remember you.

"Oh... Yeah we met briefly before." You look down, trying to cover your disappointment, "It was like at the beginning of the year so..."

You're surprised you can hear the sounds of people shuffling to move into the now unlocked lecture hall over the volume of how embarrassing this situation was. You both slowly trail behind the rest of the class into the room.

"Right, sorry, sometimes my memory is not the best!" Hoseok quickly reassures you, his tone devoid of any awkwardness, "What was your name again?"

It should be embarrassing at how quickly your mood elevated under his interest in knowing your name.

"I'm Y/n", you beam.

"Y/n", Hoseok says, more to himself, "I promise I won't forget next time".

He gives you another smile and a playful poke to your cheek, which makes you feel like the only one in the room, as he strides up to claim an empty seat. You feel yourself float up to your OSP (optimal seating position), unable to stop smiling from the brief exchange.

"I promise I won't forget next time"

Tee-hee, you have promises. And he touched your cheek! Tee-hee.

You spent the whole lecture divulging in the potential possibility that your crush might not be one-sided.

Tee-hee.

So here you are, five months deep in being the strongest trooper in your secret infatuation with this stunning man. You can’t help but give yourself a mental pat on the back for successfully keeping your mouth shut about it.

The pat on the back becomes even more vigorous when you manage to maintain your composure every time you spot him around campus, which has strangely been frequently lately. Surprisingly, this increase in sightings had nothing to do with you and everything to do with Yoongi.

You’ve been on high alert around Yoongi ever since he casually mentioned that he had a crush on someone in his classes. However, knowing you and your nature, he refused to divulge any details, nevermind the identity of the crush. It stung a little (okay, maybe more than a little) when he brushed you off, but you totally get it. After all, out of everyone, Yoongi was never the one to entertain your romanticising shit and especially not your meddling ways. Yet, there were instances where you could work out the object of Yoongi’s affections:

When Yoongi, out of nowhere, wanted to start sitting outside for lunch, near a particular group of friends (even though he hates sitting too long in the sun).

When Yoongi insisted you accompany him to watch the musical theatre society's dance practice (even though he was the conductor and didn’t really need to be there).

When Yoongi dragged you along to the dance society's performances, under the guise of "oh, I like the music" (not that you're complaining because Hoseok is also a part of that society tee-hee).

The common factor?: Jimin.

You couldn't blame Yoongi: Jimin was undeniably a sight to behold. And he is so lovely! One time your bag got stuck in the library’s revolving doors and you spent a good 5 minutes panickedly running in circles before Jimin stopped the whole crowd to come rescue you <3 (you never really talk about it because the situation actually made you want to curl up and never see the sun again). And every time Yoongi tries (emphasis on tries) to casually talk about Jimin, a cute little blush paints your friend's face, which makes you <3. And every time you see Jimin's smile it makes you, and the rest of the population just <3. And every time Yoongi sees Jimin from afar, you swear you can see the hearts jump out of his eyes <3.

The man wasn’t exactly subtle.

You also should thank Yoongi (and the gods) as Jimin is friends with Hoseok, meaning every lunch you could discreetly sneak glances at him, his perfect smile, his contagious laugh, the way his whole body would light up as he animatedly recounted a funny story to his friends and-

Anyways, since you were constantly looking that way, you, being the ever-vigilant detective, also noticed that someone else was also sneaking peeks at someone. That someone sneaking peeks being Jimin and the someone receiving said glances being Yoongi. Hee-hee. Jimin totally has a crush on Yoongi. And Yoongi totally has a crush on Jimin. They both totally have a crush on each other!

Even though you tried your best to not meddle, you just couldn’t resist. Much to Yoongi’s annoyance, you proceeded to bombard your friend with retellings of every single occurrence that Jimin so much breathed in his way in, of course, excruciating detail. You insisted for your friend to ask him on a date or confess or do anything, but only if he wanted to, of course.

You only seized your pestering when Yoongi finally grumbles a quiet “fine”. You also decided to seize any teasing of the growing excited smile on his face.

And so, it was on the fateful Thursday before Valentine’s Day week (which was just the heart-shaped cherry on top) Yoongi shyly asked Jimin on a date… And he said yes.

:) 

Apparently the date went really, really well :) So well that since they had known each other for a while, Jimin thought it only fitting to ask Yoongi if they could be boyfriends :) To which your friend broke out in his signature gummy smile and said yes :) Yoongi got a Valentine’s :) Yoongi, Mr. Stop-being-annoying-with-love-Y/n, was about to be annoying with love :)

-

The weekend anticipation for Monday was nearly unbearable. Not only did it promise the chance to catch up with Yoongi and extract every detail about the date - how did Jimin pop the question, Yoongi’s response to the question, Jimin’s response to Yoongi’s response to the question, etc. - but there was also the added excitement of Yoongi suggesting that the two friend groups sit together. One friend group including you and one friendship group including Hoseok. Tee-hee.

But when the clock struck 7am, you woke up with an odd feeling.

Something had felt off the previous day too, almost as if the world shifted its axis. Firstly, when your regular couple arrived at the restaurant, only half of them sat down at their usual table. The man sat alone, tears streaming down his face as he ordered his usual sirloin steak, nearly choking up as he had to stop himself from ordering his partner’s usual vegan burger. Or should you say, ex-partner… Turns out they weren’t the happy couple you saw them to be, they were actually going through a divorce. Instead of going home at closing time, you found yourself awkwardly comforting the man (i.e., stiffly patting his shoulder) as he worryingly wailed loudly into the table while you tried to find a way to ethically and morally make him pay the bill (though, he did leave his most generous tip ever, but you guess it's likely because the bill was half its usual price). Your heart couldn’t help to ache as you saw him braving the rain without an umbrella, all by himself.

You would be lying if you said that the couple’s breakup didn’t affect you in any way, you couldn’t shake off the weird feeling it gave you. You swore, every time you served them, they were a couple madly in-love, did you really misread the whole situation?

As you walked through campus on your way to the lecture, you tried to not think about the couple and you tried to distract yourself from the strange feeling, reminding yourself of the excitement of today. Today was the day you could finally talk to Hoseok (cue you giggling and hiding your face). You could finally get to know him beyond what you see in the lectures, beyond the brief mentions about him in passing conversations with Yoongi, beyond his dance performances, beyond your fleeting exchanged glances. You finally will know Hoseok as a friend, or maybe something more (tee-hee). 

Just before you start to daydream (or as Yoongi would say: delude) about the potential conversations with Hoseok. You feel yourself still at the shattering sound beneath your feet. When you look down, you feel that odd feeling creep throughout your body; you accidentally crushed a pair of glasses on the ground. You don’t know why you remain staring at the broken lens (you also realise they are one of those expensive Ray Bans - yikes sorry to the owner). After you stood there for what felt like an eternity, it hit you why they look odd: they were rose-tinted glasses. 

You just broke a pair of rose-tinted glasses.

Huh.

The distraction caused you to arrive 2 minutes late for the lecture, having to sit on one of the only available seats right at the front of the lecture hall (no OSP today guys). Much to your sadness, this meant you were not able to sneak any glances at the man and his beautiful side profile. :(

Maybe it was the fact you didn’t have Hoseok to distract you or maybe it was the strange feeling that made you really listen to your professor without your usual optimistic bias. But you finally realise how lowkey (highkey) misogynistic your professor was about his wife.

“Now, as an example of positive reinforcement, I can’t help but talk about a perfect one from my own experiences. I’ve talked about my endless efforts to win my lovely wife over, the gestures, the flowers, the compliments. But now that I’ve won her heart, she associates me with all that lovey-dovey stuff so I don't need to do any of that anymore! Like, why bother doing anything extra when she’s already fulfilling her role and doing all my laundry? This type of conditioning gets you an endless supply of clean underwear! Or is that too problematic to say these days? Am I going to get cancelled?” Your professor laughs.

You feel your mouth gape in pure shock (and cringe), as your ears pick up the awkward and fake laughs throughout the lecture hall.

Huh. That wasn’t very romantic.

The professor continues on and leaves you with a sour taste in your mouth. That strange feeling intensifies throughout you for the rest of the hour and carries on until lunch.

- 

As you joined the group of people, you took a seat and offered smiles in response to everyone’s greetings. You noticed Hoseok had not arrived yet, and you tried not to react when you heard Namjoon, one of Jimin’s friends, complaining about his professor holding Hoseok back. From the 15 minutes you spend sitting with them, you deduce that Jimin’s friends are really nice: Namjoon was particularly endearing and Taehyung was charmingly entertaining. If it weren’t for the strange feeling nagging at you, you’d be more talkative, but instead, you could only muster occasional contributions to the conversation.

Feeling a nudge from your friend Molly next to you, you turned to her as she quietly asked if you were okay, worried because of your unusual silence. You quickly offer an excuse about stress from your group presentation and she nods, not entirely convinced. You also feel a brief comforting squeeze from your other friend, Lia, beside you. However, they both know you well enough to know that they shouldn’t press anything further. You meekly look around the table and you notice Yoongi already looking at you, a hint of concern forming on his face. You tried to reassure him with a big smile to indicate you are perfectly fine, but you could tell he wasn’t convinced. Curse your friends and their perceptiveness. But before he could press further, Jimin, being the angel that he is, distracts him with something funny on his phone, and you find yourself zoning out of the conversation.

“Well, I thought the movie was very good!” Taehyung argues.

“Of course you would think that movie was good, Tae,” Namjoon scoffs, “It was right up your hipster alley, a failed attempt at a romance movie disguised by some weird, unconventional filming techniques.”

Your attention snapped back when Taehyung gasped loudly.

“Failed attempt?” Taehyung repeats with disbelief, “I’ll have you know, that movie was the epitome of romance!”

“Tae, the most romantic thing about that movie was that it was caring enough to only put us through 1 hour of it,” Namjoon deadpans.

Chuckling spread around the table, leaving you a bit confused. You don’t even know what movie they’re talking about.

“Don’t talk about romance in front of Y/n guys” Lia teases, “We won’t hear the end of it, especially so close to Valentine’s day.”

Suddenly, all the attention is on you, your friends fondly looking at you, ready for your usual response. Normally, you’d play along and potentially bond with Taehyung over whatever movie this is. But instead, you stutter, unsure on how to respond.

“Well-” You start, before being interrupted.

“Oh my god, hey guys”, you hear from behind you, the voice slightly out of breath.

As everyone greets him back, you feel Lia, who was sitting next to you, shuffling to her left, making space for Hoseok to sit down. Next to you.

Instantly, the strange mood seems to dissipate into thin air. Omg he’s sitting next to you! Being a bit shy, you stay frozen, not turning around to look at the man. You feel yourself start to smile at the feeling of him next to you, and you nearly unconsciously moan at how good this man smells. Have some dignity Y/n, you think to yourself.

“Sorry I’m late, my meeting was supposed to be only 30 minutes but the professor went over an hour,” he laughs out, then looks towards his friend and his boyfriend, “I hope the in-law’s meeting is going well.”

Everyone around the table, including you, laughs, assuring him that it’s going well. You can’t help but let out a dreamy sigh - he’s so hot. Hoseok proceeds to go around to learn the names of the new faces, saying a nice to meet you to Lia, jokingly reintroducing himself to Yoongi (apparently they’re actually friends), and then mentioning to Molly that he is pretty sure they are in the same assignment group for one of his classes. Your face breaks out in a smile with how well he gets on with everyone. He is just so bright and sociable, you can’t help but feel your heart warm at the thought.

Finally, you muster the courage to turn towards him, intending to break the ice with the weird comment your professor said in the morning lecture but Hoseok starts before you.

He starts with the same gut-wrenchingly gorgeous smile,

“And what’s your name?”

Oh…

You feel yourself speechless at the question, colour draining in your face. If this was any other day and if this was anyone else, you would tease saying you’ve met before, joke about him already asking that question, maybe even fake hurt and dramatically ask if you were really that forgettable. But it did hurt, and you don’t feel like you have it in you to embarrass yourself, so instead you introduce yourself again.

For the third time.

“I’m Y/n”, you reply with a tense smile.

“Well it’s really nice to meet you!” He beams.

Throughout the entire lunch, silence envelops you like a suffocating blanket, muffling the chatter around you. All your senses are surrounded by Hoseok, yet he doesn’t even seem to notice you. You watch him interact effortlessly with others, his eyes light up with warmth and his smiles so familiar, you once believed they were reserved solely for you. But now, you realise those looks and smiles are merely part of his default demeanour, unfairly extended to everyone without second thought. The realisation cuts straight through you.

It’s not that he intentionally excludes you; he offers small nods and fleeting smiles of acknowledgements when your eyes meet. He just doesn’t fully register your presence or, better put, is interested in your presence more than he’s interested in anyone else. You don’t know what’s worse. Either way, the pang of insignificance hurts you deep as you sit there feeling like an idiot.

Meanwhile, your friends are engrossed in getting to know everyone else, and for the first time, you don’t bother deciphering the subtle exchanges between Molly and Taehyung, or analyse how well they bounce off each other, jokingly debating about something. Instead, you feel a bit irked by the sight of Jimin and Yoongi being so shyly cute with each other.

And it’s when Lia’s friendly tease prompts Hoseok to playfully poke her cheek, just like he did with you, you quietly stand up, wanting nothing more but to leave. The table suddenly grows quiet, your feigned excuse about seeing your professor being the only thing that is heard. After giving your friends a pointed look that says ‘please don’t follow me’, you pack your uneaten lunch and make a hasty exit, ignoring the worried gazes of your friends.

The truth hits you like a bus - he didn’t even know who you were. He treats everyone with the same warmth and friendliness, all those supposed shared moments weren’t special at all. You just convinced yourself they were, romanticising all those supposed connections to mean something. Did your brain really deluded you into thinking your foolish crush on him was actually requited?

Perhaps Yoongi was right about you. Unrealistic. Delusional. Now that you think about it, probably needs to be served with a restraining order. You didn’t just imagine that Hoseok was interested in you too but you also imagined that he actually knew who you were.

You feel like a fool.

As you fight back tears from spilling from your eyes, you trudge home, neglecting your next lecture. You’ll catch up on it later.

As you quietly slip away, a concerned silence settles over the group. Your friends exchange glances, each wondering if anyone knows what might be troubling you.

“Is she okay?” Namjoon breaks the silence, his brows furrowing with genuine concern as the group’s gaze follows your retreating figure.

“I actually don’t know…” Molly answers, her voice laced with worry, “She was so quiet. She said something earlier about a presentation but I know she doesn’t have anything like that coming up, so…”

“Shit, I should’ve said something earlier”, Yoongi mumbles with a loud sigh, reaching for his phone to send a message in your group chat.

Are you okay? Are you going back to the house? We’ll come meet you - yoongi

“We should go check on her.” Lia suggests, already rising from her seat, with Molly and Yoongi following suit.

Just then, the group’s phones all ping. Yoongi instantly reads the notification

I’m fine! I just have a headache :( - y/n

Don’t you dare move away from that table, Yoongi. You guys better have fun for me! I’ll see you guys at the house! - y/n

With a small scoff, Yoongi is about to ignore your pleas and continue to pack his things but then the phone pings again.

Please don’t come meet me - y/n

As Yoongi reads your last message, he sits down with a dejected sigh, everyone watching him curiously. The other two pull their phones out to read the messages, also sitting back down.

“I think she just wants to be alone.” Yoongi clarifies.

“Are you guys sure?” Jimin cautiously asks, “We don’t mind if you guys have to go.” 

The other three men agree with Jimin, their concerns evident. Reluctantly, Yoongi shakes his head and assures the group that they don’t need to leave, mentioning that he’ll talk to you later at the house. Silence descends on the table once more.

“I hope everything’s alright,” Jimin voices, “maybe something happened during her classes?”

“No, she only had that intro to psych lecture this morning and she always mentions how that’s pretty chill,” Molly dismisses, looking down deep in thought.

“Oh, I’m in that class” Hoseok suddenly interjects, drawing everyone’s attention, “I didn’t notice anything unusual.”

“Yeah, I forgot you’re in that class” Yoongi remarks, “I’m surprised you haven’t run into her.”

Hoseok nods silently. Suddenly, realisation dawns on him. He knew you looked familiar - you’ve literally spoken before. He guesses he didn’t remember cause it was a long time ago, and he never sees you in the lecture hall. Perhaps you always sit in the back? Now guilt weighs on him, remembering your face earlier. Your eyes lit up in familiarity and a cute smile grew on your face, until he asked for your name. Then you looked embarrassed, your eyes slightly dimming. He didn’t recognise you. Hoseok falls silent, consumed by his thoughts.

“Well,” Jimin starts, trying to steer the conversation in a more positive direction, “I hope she’s okay! You always talk about Y/n so I can’t wait to get to know her.”

Yoongi smiles warmly at Jimin, appreciating the attempt to lighten the mood.

“Yeah, Yoongi talks about how endearing Y/n is,” Jimin continues, addressing his friends, “I actually met her once before! I think she got stuck in the library doors, and I helped her out. I was so surprised because most people would be really embarrassed but she was so grateful and optimistic. It really threw me off guard. No idea why she would be friends with you, Yoongi”

The conversation shifts and the table bursts out in laughter as Yoongi rolls his eyes playfully. 

“No, really, sometimes she’s the complete opposite of you, Yoons,” Lia adds with excitement, “I literally remember when Molly was ordering our drinks and started to argue with one of the guys at the bar, so we were gonna go over and help her. But, Y/n stopped us, insisting that they were clearly just flirting. Then, Yoongi and Y/n started bickering about whether or not they were about to fight or kiss. Then all of a sudden we heard a scream and realised Molly threw her drink on him and they started to fight.”

“I’ll never forget Y/n’s face,” Yoongi heartedly laughs, reminiscing the incident, “I’ve never seen her more mortified.”

Everyone joins in the laughter. Hoseok looks around, noting how just the thought of you brightens your friend’s faces.

“Oh my God, that day got us banned from that place!,” Molly added, “I swear, she can romanticise anything.”

“Sounds like Taehyung with that atrocious ‘romance’ movie”, Namjoon jokes, earning a playful jab from the man.

“That’s it, someone bring Y/n back. I need someone to back me up on this”, Taehyung jokingly whines, eliciting more laughter, “I’ll force her to be my new movie buddy.”

“As long as it’s a romance movie, she won’t need much convincing”, Lia adds.

“With the movies Tae enjoys, we can only pray for her”, Namjoon sarcastically comments, dodging another hit from Taehyung.

“Well, Y/n finds joy and beauty in most things,” Yoongi starts, his eyes softening as he reflects on your unique perspective “I’m jealous of her, she can find love in anything and everything.”

The table falls into momentary silences, Yoongi’s words hanging in the air. Hoseok’s gaze flickers with intrigue as he processes the sentiment. His perception of you subtly shifts when Lia, with a mischievous grin, adds,

"Well, she loves love".

So you have actually decided you hate love.

Upon arriving home, you collapse onto your bed, letting your tears flow freely. You found yourself unable to stop crying. You don’t know if it's from the sheer humbling experience or the sorrow of mourning your imagined relationship with Hoseok. You just couldn't believe that he would do that to you? After everything you’ve imagined been through?

For the remainder of the week, you choose to avoid your university commitments, wallowing in self-pity within the safe confinement of your bedroom. Despite sharing a house with your three friends, you surprisingly succeed in avoiding conversation with them. Occasionally, when you attempt to sneak out to use the toilet, you find sweet treats left at your bedroom door - a silent reminder that they’re there whenever you’re ready to talk. But three whole days pass without a word. You even miss Valentine’s day.

On Thursday, a knock interrupts your solitude, and you fully intend to ignore it, not yet ready to face the outside world.

“Y/n, I’m coming in whether you like it or not, so you have 30 seconds to not be naked before I open this door.” Yoongi announces from outside, anticipating your refusal.

“Come in.” he hears you mumble from inside.

He enters to find you cocooned in your blanket on the bed. You both share a silent gaze and Yoongi’s heart aches at the sight of your eyes slowly filling up with tears. As your lips start to quiver, about to burst out in tears, Yoongi rushes over and envelops you in his arms.

Yoongi isn’t known for giving hugs, but as you sob into his shirt, you realise he should do it more often; he’s a really good hugger. And in the second that you feel your friend give you a comforting kiss on the crown of your head, you let go completely.

Yoongi remains silent the whole time you reveal your crush on Hoseok. The only sign you know he is still listening is when he tightens his grasp on you whenever your story elicits harder sobs. Yoongi knows its best to not say or question anything, especially when you start blubbering about some acronym he’s never heard of (something about an OPM), which means 2 rows behind and 10 seats to the left? He decides to not probe further, understanding that right now you just need someone to listen.

"I’m so stupid, I should've known this would have happened, I always get carried away, I always do this,” You sob tiredly, messily wiping your snotty nose, “I need to stop being like this, I think there’s something actually wrong with me Yoongi. I feel like a complete idiot”

Through your swollen eyes, you see him shake his head.

“No, Y/n, stop it. You’re not stupid, you’re not an idiot, there’s nothing wrong with you, and you definitely don’t need to stop being you.” Yoongi scolds, pulling you in for another hug.

“B-but you even said it yourself, I’m unrealistic with these things,” You choke before bursting out into full-on wails, “I made myself believe that he actually liked me back and he didn’t even know I existed.”

You both remain hugging for a while, and with the feeling of Yoongi soothingly rubbing your back, your sobs gradually calm down.

"You know," Yoongi begins quietly, "I love you and I love that you love love because your love for love pushed me to try to be with someone I'm in love with. Only you could've done that.”

The room falls quiet as you digest his words..

“And I also hate how many times I said love in that sentence"

"You said it at least 6 times" you sniffle, smiling up at your friend, “Thank you, Yoons.”

He mirrors your smile.

“Don’t even mention it.” He says, pulling you in for a side hug, “And to hell with that man. Surely if he doesn’t even appreciate my best friend, he’s not worth it. What’s even so great about him?! Huh?” He shouts out, as you let out a small sniffing giggle.

"He's got really great cheekbones", you start, and a beat of silence passes as Yoongi meekly agrees.

"Yeah, he does.”

In an attempt to cheer you up, Yoongi invites you to join him and Jimin for lunch on Sunday before your shift, promising a rather unconventional third-wheel experience. Despite your initial hesitations, as you watch the undeniable cuteness between them, your temporary barriers crumble, and you watch their interactions with joy and just the faintest tinie-wine hint of bittersweetness. Perhaps it’s because Jimin’s genuine concern for your well-being radiates comfort or maybe it’s his angelic aura, you find yourself confiding in him about your crush on Hoseok.

As you share your sorrows with the two men in front of you, you release a sigh of relief as he takes in the information with nothing but open-mindedness and kindness. His reassurance and comfort that Hoseok’s forgetfulness is not a reflection of you, but rather a quirk of his character - or, as Jimin admits, an annoyance - brings you comfort, leaving you feeling better as you make your way to work. 

Throughout the rest of your shift, a sense of peace settles within you. Perhaps, deep down, there’s a part of you that just thrives on romance and love, a factor ingrained in your disposition. As you clean tables, you come to the realisation: who cares if romance seems a bit elusive to you right now? It undeniably exists in the world, evident all around you. In your friends, in love songs, and even in those silly magnet socks. And that brings you happiness - a fact made abundantly clear by the joy you feel knowing your friend is experiencing it. 

Maybe, just maybe, it’s just not your time, and you muster the courage to admit, with a shaky exhale, that perhaps Hoseok simply wasn’t meant to be that person for you.

But you don’t dwell on that thought for too long, getting distracted by your divorced regular walking in with a new woman.

- 

You stride to your Monday lecture actually feeling really great. I mean, you acquired a new friend (Jimin <3), you have a feeling Molly may have a little thing for Taehyung (which you’ll undoubtedly observe with unsolicited interest at lunch), and your Sunday regular (who strangely moved on from a whole marriage in just a week) still gives good tips. You feel ecstatic even.

On your way to your lecture, you pause briefly. Your eyebrows furrow at the sight of two rats sitting together on a bench, their tails somehow strangely interlocking. It was oddly and bizarrely romantic, prompting you to send a picture in the groupchat. For once, everyone actually agreed, even Yoongi.

So, who cares if you romanticise things? It got you this far, even through countless 9am lectures - a victory for someone with your habit of missing lectures. Perhaps you could still appreciate Hoseok's face, it's still a gorgeous face. And besides, when you really think about it, you don't actually know anything about him! He might actually be an awful person! You try to tell yourself that, but there’s still a small part of your heart that remains unconvinced.

You enter the lecture hall surprisingly 10 minutes early, say goodbye to OSP, hello to sitting wherever the fuck you want (which is kind of a relief considering Hoseok tended to sit really far behind and you really struggled to see the board sometimes).

Absorbed in Yoongi’s latest post of him and Jimin, you’re startled by a familiar voice beside you.

"Is this seat taken?"

Oh?

You look up to see the devastatingly handsome ray of sunshine himself, gesturing to the seat where your bag is on. You try not to inwardly scream at how good he looks. He’s wearing glasses you’ve never seen before and a really fluffy looking red jumper, which just makes him look so boyfriend and so, so gorgeous.

"No, it's not actually", you hesitantly move your bag and offer a polite smile.

You watch him sit down next to you and give you another earth-shaking smile, to which you offer a timid one back. You curse your heart for speeding up.

Don't get your hopes up, Y/n.

In order to distract yourself, you look down at your phone again and answer some messages from your family, unaware of Hoseok stealing glances at you. 

He notices just how cute your nose is, how sparkly your eyes are when you gleefully read whatever is on your screen. He is a bit embarrassed to admit how much he would love to know how to make the corners of your lips move upwards like that. He also notes his sudden urge to grab your attention away from your screen and onto something else. Or maybe someone else.

He also feels the need to giggle and scream into a pillow. Huh.

Before he opens his mouth to make conversation and apologise for what happened last week, the professor begins his lectures, interrupting his chance.

As the lecture progresses, your professor makes another weird ‘joke’ about his wife, which makes you halt your note taking to stare at him in disbelief.

"I’m so surprised his wife hasn’t left him yet" Hoseok whispers to you.

You giggle at the remark, your head instinctively dipping down to avoid drawing attention. Hoseok's eyes brighten at the sound of your laugh, completely captivated by the sound. If you looked at him at this moment, you would notice that his face lit up much more than usual, a glint of endearment painting his smile. Your eyes meet, and for a moment, time stands still. You’re struck with how breathtakingly pretty he looks up close, it’s almost unfair. Your eyes are drawn to details you never noticed before - like the charming mole on his lips that makes you <3 (also ignites the desire to kiss it).

Although you know the lesson from the past week was that you can sometimes be delusional in your romanticising, but this time you are 100% sure you see it objectively: Hoseok briefly looks down at your lips before meeting your gaze again. It’s clear you didn’t imagine it, as you catch a sudden look of embarrassment wash over his face as if he got caught out. That’s because he did just get caught out.

You both look away from each other’s eyes, the intensity of the moment becoming a bit too overwhelming. But you both continue to sit together in silence, your shoulders brushing, with wide, bashful smiles plastered on your faces. The same thoughts (or lack thereof) swirling in both of your minds:

Tee-hee.

a/n: tee-motherfucking-hee :) Thank you for reading!

#bts angst #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts hoseok #hoseok angst #hoseok fluff #bts fanfic #hoseok x reader #hoseok scenarios #jhope fluff #jhope angst

[golbrocklovely]

we went mad // sam and colby

A/N: let me tell you a story of how this came to be. i obviously got the idea from the scream franchise, in particular scream 2 which is set at a college. so originally i wrote this in second person, but i felt like i had already written pretty much everything up until now in that pov, so i had to switch ALL of the writing i had done (which was most of it) over to first person. and then… i had to finish writing it. and that for some reason just took so long for me. i think part of the issue was that when i originally came up with the idea of this fic, i saw the ending, and that was it. i wanted the famous kitchen scene with billy, stu, and syd, but god… getting there was no cake walk. thank christ i'm done with this fic. it's definitely one of my longer ones. let me know what you think ! hope you enjoy :)

prompt: someone on campus is killing all of your ex-classmates. and you fear you're next. || college!sam and colby x reader

trigger warning: murders, slightly gore and blood mentions, cursing, college setting, parties, drinking, douchy/emotionless bf, mentions of hs bullying, surprise/rollercoaster ending

word count: 6582

~~~~~~~~

How could you have missed the signs? How could you not have known all this time?

~~~

Sam and Colby had talked about moving away from our hometown for years. They had major plans to move to L.A. and become big. But instead, they decided to go to our local state college with me, and half of our graduating class. And while I was confused by their choice, I was happy nonetheless. They were my best friends, and I was upset thinking that I wouldn’t see them anymore after graduation. But I understood why they wanted to get away in the first place: everyone at our school bullied them. The number of times Sam and Colby had been shoved into lockers, or had food thrown at them in the cafeteria, or were just badmouthed... let's just say that high school was nothing short of hell for them.

Freshman year of college, while stressful, was fantastic. We all lived on campus, our dorms across the street from one another. Hell, I could even see their dorm from my window. We took a lot of the same core classes together, always making sure to work on projects and help each other out. We hadn’t decided our majors yet and knew that this would be the only time we could be in the same classes together.

Things were good for a long time, all the way through the end of sophomore year. I was so excited to start the next half of college. It felt like the home stretch, even if we weren’t close to graduating yet.

But our relationship changed, our friendship drifted apart. By the start of junior year, we were no longer friends. And the major reason for it? I started dating someone from our old high school. I had met him at the end of sophomore year and dated him secretly during the summer. His name was Davis, and back in high school, he was popular. He got into this university on a sports scholarship.  And you might be wondering, was Davis someone that bullied Sam and Colby? No, he wasn’t. But he was friends with those that did.

I didn’t know that until I was already dating Davis. It was hard to keep up with who did and didn’t bully Sam and Colby back in the day. I told Davis to apologize to Sam and Colby for what his friends did. At first he was a bit confused, but he did it regardless. Sure, it was at a party and he was kind of drunk. But it still counted… right? He later texted the guys about it and they said they accepted his apology.

However, they couldn’t forgive me for dating someone like that. So, our friendship just… died.

But even though I wasn’t their friend anymore, I still knew them pretty well. And the moment we were no longer friends, something felt… off about them. We still shared the occasional class, so I saw them every other day. They seemed darker, broodier. And only ever with one another. But that wasn't that unusual for them. They relied on one another a lot.

On a cool fall day, shocking news broke on campus: someone was killed right outside the dorms late last night. Classes were immediately cancelled. Everyone was on edge. The university did its best to calm the nerves of its students, siting that we were in a major city and cities tend to have random killings happen. Police stayed on campus for the next couple days, and partying was prohibited.

Of course, that didn't stop the frat houses from throwing "secret" keggers in their basements. I didn't really want to go, but Davis begged me to. That I should "live on the edge" since I was never really a go-getter. So I went, and I was surprised to see Colby at the party. I waved at him, but his eyes glared back, and then behind me. I turned to see Davis, my face immediately dropping. I didn't see Colby the rest of the night.

The next day, the police finally released the name of the person that was killed on campus. It was in fact a student, but that didn’t mean there was an issue on campus itself. Since we lived in the city, bad things were bound to happen to us too.

The name sounded familiar, and it finally clicked: it was someone from our graduating class. James Cooper. I didn’t know him all that well, but I was still sad to hear he was killed.

Davis sort of knew the guy too; he had been on the hockey team. They had gone to parties together before, but he wasn't close to him. It clicked for me even more when Davis mentioned the hockey team: that guy shoved Sam and Colby into lockers our freshman year to impress his friends. He was a major dick to them for a while, until finally getting onto the hockey team and just ignoring all classmates that were "underneath" him.

…Maybe karma actually did work.

Less than a week later, another person was killed. This time it was a girl. She was found just outside of the library in some bushes. I knew who she was, remembering her from high school. She was a cheerleader, both years ago and now. Lizzie Campbell.

This was all so weird to me. In the two years of being on campus, I had barely heard about any robberies or petty crimes happening, let alone two murders. And on top of that, two of my ex-classmates? Davis shrugged it off, saying it was just a coincidence. But I couldn’t shake the feeling of something not being right about all of this.

And as time went on, my suspicions became more of a premonition.

Two more students, back-to-back, were found. But what made it worse was this time one was in the dorms. And it was in my dorm too, two floors down. Security had everyone on that floor evacuate and go to other dorms for the time being. I, and many other students, didn’t feel safe in the building. I decided to stay over at Davis’ frat house.

They ended up throwing a last-minute party that weekend. I begged Davis to tell his brothers not to throw one, especially because of how insensitive it was and that they could be fined for it. He told me it was out of his hands, that he didn’t decide whether parties happened or not.

How could he be so blasé about these deaths, especially since he even knew these people?

This was a side to him I had never seen, and I didn’t like it one fucking bit. I couldn’t stay there that night, so I trudged back to my dorm room. On my way there, I ran into Sam.

It was awkward to say the least. We talked briefly, and I told him how I planned to stay in my dorm since I couldn’t stay at Davis’. Sam offered his and Colby’s dorm instead; that it was much safer than mine, especially since I would be alone.

Part of me didn’t want to go to their dorm, mostly because of everything going on between us. But he was right about it being safer, and I did miss them a lot.

I followed Sam back to his dorm. He informed me that Colby was out working on a project and wouldn’t be back until later. Their dorm was nice and spacious, the benefit of being an upperclassman. It was like a mini apartment in some ways. We relaxed in their living room area and chatted for a bit. Eventually, the topic of conversation fell onto the recent murders. Sam spoke of whispers around campus that the killer wore a mask shaped like a melted ghost’s face, that that was how he got in and out of the dorms. My skin crawled at the thought of seeing that mask and prayed that that wasn’t the case. The killer could be anyone on campus, just lurking in the shadows.

I had this urge inside of me to tell Sam my theory. I knew we weren’t close anymore, but I felt like he was the only one that would believe me.

I explained to him what I thought was happening: how all of the people that had been killed on campus were from our old high school. The killer was attacking those from our high school only, possibly hunting them down for some unknown reason. Sam questioned if that was true for the newer victims.

We looked up the email from the university, speaking on the recent victims. "The selfish murders of Christopher Smith and Sara Goodwin..." Chris was from my homeroom. He was on the swim team. He won tons of medals and was celebrated. And Sara… she had dated the quarterback sophomore year and was generally a popular person.

Oh god, I think I’m right.

Sam was surprised at how on point I seemed to be. It was a nice change of pace compared to being shrugged off by Davis. But he didn’t fully agree with my idea. He considered that maybe this was a huge coincidence, that maybe the killer wasn’t targeting our class, just the people that still hung out with one another. Maybe all the victims – Chris, Sara, Lizzie, and James – were all friends and the person that murdered them knew them all and was picking them off.

I snorted, "And what? They saw something they shouldn’t and now they're getting I Know What You Did Last Summer-ed?"

"That could be it." He replied.

I sassed. "You can't be serious, Sam."

But he was. He didn’t argue that he was right, just that if someone was attacking our graduating class, or our old high school, they would have to kill half the population of the university. So, it was unlikely that that was happening. Maybe Sam was right about that. Sure – there was definitely a connection. But it sounded more plausible that Sam was right on his part in some way.

Sam decided to call it night not too long after, stating he had early classes the next morning. I dozed off an hour after he went to bed, sleeping on their somewhat comfortable couch.

I jolted awake suddenly, the front door unlocking slowly. It opened, and Colby tip-toed in. His eyes locked with mine, and they widened.

“Hey…” He mumbled awkwardly.

He wondered what I was doing in their dorm, and I told him what happened with me and Sam. I asked him where he was all night, glancing at the neon red lights of the clock shining back 3:20 AM. Colby spoke of a crazy party at one of the frat houses.

But didn’t Sam say…? Whatever.

I nodded my head at him, yawning loudly. He smiled, said goodnight, and shuffled off to bed.

The news broke two hours later - another body was found. Michelle Robinson. And this time, it was right outside of Davis' frat. He even saw the killer, or who he thought it could have been. A guy dressed in all black with a cloak and a mask running away from the house. But no one saw the body until the morning.

The mask… just like Sam said.

Campus was immediately shut down, all classes resuming online. Absolutely NO parties. How could the university think people were going to be able to learn when there was a killer on the loose? It was insanity to me.

I was forced back into my dorm. Police raided every car and dorm on campus to find clues. They determined after a thorough search that the killer wasn’t a student, just someone that new the dorms well. No evidence was found linking a current student to the killings.

The day the police announced this, I got a very strange text.

UNKNOWN: if they only knew....

I didn’t know the number or what it possibly could have meant. I tried not to think about it, already too concerned with everything else going on. The next day, however, I got another text from the same number.

UNKNOWN: what's it like knowing that people are dying on campus but your bf is throwing another party??? it’s almost like he’s celebrating their deaths. you really know how to pick them

I responded with what the hell are you talking about? and who is this? but the number never replied back.

Were they telling the truth though? Was Davis really throwing another party? He couldn't be.

I went straight over to Davis’ frat house, and when I saw the brothers pulling a keg into the back of the house, I knew the unknown number was telling the truth.

I argued with Davis that night. How could he be throwing a party again after what just happened? He even saw the killer and he’s just… shrugging it off like it doesn’t matter. People he knew from school are dying and he doesn’t care. It was gross and concerning beyond belief.

He rolled his eyes, saying that he wasn’t close to any of the people that died, just that he knew them in passing. And they weren’t throwing a party, just a kick-back with the boys in the house.

“Oh okay, that makes it all better…” I spat sarcastically. “Even if that was just the case, how are you in a partying mood?”

He groaned, walking away from me. “Oh my God, Y/N, you’re such a buzzkill.”

That was enough to set me off. I broke up with him on spot, not listening to another word he had to say. I held back tears as I raced back to my dorm. That was the last night I saw Davis.

And it was also the last night of the murders. At least... for a while.

Three weeks went by. This had been the longest period without any murders. It seemed as if things might have been getting back to normal. Even the university was starting to act the same again. The university announced the soon-to-be-open dorm that was right down the street from mine. I was even excited to stay there next year; I was actually looking forward to it - to senior year. To the future.

After breaking up with Davis, I ended up becoming friends with Sam and Colby again. I told them what happened, and they graciously accepted me back with open arms. It was nice to be with them again, for life to feel somewhat normal once more. But I couldn’t lie: I missed Davis. I knew I shouldn’t have, his weird lack of empathy for what was happening was alarming, but maybe something was going on with him and that’s why he didn’t seem to care. Or maybe I was trying to give him brownie points when he didn’t deserve them. But I couldn’t help but miss him. Even if I knew what he did was fucked up to me, I still cared. I worried something could still happen to him.

The killings might have stopped, but that didn't mean I wasn’t still paying attention and on edge all the time. I think everyone on campus could feel there was still a chokehold in the air from the murderer.

I texted Davis after a month of nothing from him. I asked to meet up with him, but he never responded. My messages were going through, so he didn’t block me. Sam and Colby caught wind of my texting and were highly against it, especially when I said I planned to go to the frat and see him for myself. According to Colby, clearly Davis either needed space or just didn’t want to see me, so I should just stay away for a while. I considered what he said but decided to go anyway. I asked around at his frat house if anyone knew where he was, since I knew he wasn’t in class. His ‘brother’ Kevin replied that they hadn’t seen Davis in a long time. Like, almost a month.

...The last time I saw him as well.

My stomach twisted up in knots at the first thought I had.

Was he the killer?

There’s no way. I was with him when the first killings happened. Maybe he had an accomplice? No. No, Davis wouldn’t kill anybody, let alone people he knew from back in the day… right?

I can’t tell Sam and Colby, even though they know my theory about the killer hunting people from our graduating class. I don’t want to give them another reason to hate Davis. Not to mention, I must be wrong. There’s no way Davis killed all those people. It was just a coincidence that he left and the murders stopped.

Unless… the killer got him too.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. Maybe Davis left because of the killings. Maybe it was too much for him to bear. Maybe a family emergency happened. Maybe he couldn’t handle the classes. There could be a laundry list of reasons why he left.

My heart skipped a beat when my phone buzzed on my way back to my dorm. The number wasn’t the one I was hoping to see, and all the text did was make my thoughts spiral deeper.

UNKNOWN: do you miss me?

~~~

Our campus was known for its Halloween parties, and while I definitely wasn’t in a spooky mood, Sam and Colby begged me to come with them to a random frat’s party. Sam wanted to introduce me to his girlfriend and Colby didn’t want to be left alone when they would eventually disappear off. I agreed begrudgingly. I dressed up in my costume from last year, a witch, and Sam and Colby dressed up as Batman and Robin; and by dressed up I mean they just threw on a t-shirt with the symbol. Walking into the party, I felt my skin tingle with anxiety. The music was loud and there were so many people around in an array of different costumes. I glanced around, hoping to maybe see Davis, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Stop trying to look for him. He clearly left because he couldn’t handle the pressure anymore, whether from the murders or the workload.” Sam stated, pulling my attention away from the crowd.

“Maybe he couldn’t live without you so he left.” Colby joked.

“Either way, don’t waste your night looking for someone that’s gone.” Sam stood up pointing at me, “I’ll be right back, let me go find my girl.”

“Let’s see how long it takes him this time.” Colby rolled his eyes.

I stayed with Colby for a while, watching a table of zombies play beer pong. After two games had finally played out, I started looking around for Sam.

“Don’t bother. Sam has a tendency to disappear off with his girlfriend and only come back around super late. I don’t know, but sometimes I swear she’s not real.”

I questioned, “You’ve met her before, right?”

He shrugged. “Sorta. It was quick, and honestly, I was super drunk so it could have just been some random girl.”

“Sam wouldn’t lie about having a girlfriend.” I argued.

“Yeah because if he did, I’m gonna make fun of him so fucking much,” Colby chuckled. “I’m gonna go step outside and call him, see if he’s around here. If you want, go… mingle, until I get back.”

“Tell him to hurry back, with or without his girlfriend please.” I laughed, watching Colby smirk as he stepped outside.

I wandered around the party, running into some people from my English Lit class. We started taking shots and bitching about the professors giving us so much work during the murders.

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but it felt like it had been at least an hour, if not longer. I pulled out my phone, ready to text Colby where he went off to, and suddenly an urgent email went through. Everyone’s phones around me started blowing up as well, gasps and screams being let out as people read the message.

Three students were just found dead on campus. Police advised everyone to stay indoors and if they were out on the street not to walk home alone.

“Fuck this, I’m getting the hell out of here!” Someone yelled deep from within the party.

A major rush of people started going for the front door, making it impossible to leave. Mayhem was breaking out, people were crying, screaming, and begging to get out of the house as soon as possible. I rushed to the basement, knowing there was an exit there since all the frat houses were built with the same layout.

Fuck! Where was Sam and Colby?

A huge group of us ran back towards our dorms. I stayed with the group as long as I could until I was alone, running to my dorm.

“Y/N!” I heard Colby’s voice shout from across the courtyard.

I spun towards him, running up to him hastily. I fell into his arms, pulling him close.

My voice quivered. “Thank Christ you’re okay! Where’s Sam?”

“He’s with his girlfriend in her dorm. McFranklin Hall.” Colby informed.

“Oh thank god. Okay, let’s just get back to mine since it’s closer.” I urged.

We got into my building quickly, jumping into the elevator. I finally was able to catch my breath for a moment, my heart still pounding. “Where the hell were you all night?”

Colby furrowed his brows, confused. “I wasn’t gone that long, Y/N.”

“You said you were only going to go make a phone call.” I responded.

“Yeah I did, and then I guess I lost track of time.” He answered.

We walked out of the elevator and down to my dorm. “How the hell did you lose track of time?”

He huffed. “Can we just talk about this later?”

I shook my head, pulling my key out. “No let’s talk about this right-”

“Y/N?” He interjected.

“What?” I breathed, still looking at him.

“Did you leave your dorm unlocked?” He pointed.

My gaze fell upon my dorm. The door was open, but only a little. Like someone rushed to get out of it.

“Maybe we should head back to my dorm…” Colby backed up.

I stepped inside, pushing the door open all the way. “No I need to know what happen-”

I flicked on the lights and choked out a gasp.

My room was torn up, everything knocked over and on the floor. Someone ransacked it, looking for God knows what.

I shuddered, “W-who… did this?”

Colby bit his lip nervously. “I don’t know.”

“How did they even get in here? I locked my door, I know I did.” I dissented.

His face twisted in disgust, covering his nose. “What is that smell? I think it’s coming from behind the door…”

Colby pushed the door shut, jumping back as it slammed.

“Oh my god is that… blood?” He whispered.

#9 was smeared onto the door, still fresh from whoever broke in.

My mouth watered as nauseous rushed through me. “Nine… that was Davis’ jersey number.”

“Or… like how many victims there’s been.” Colby deadpanned.

My breathing labored at his tone. “There hasn’t been nine victims. The three tonight make it eight.”

Colby’s eyes were cold as he turned to me, “Well, then maybe you’r-”

A dark figure lurched out of my closet, grabbing Colby from behind. I screamed out, staring into the melted ghost face mask.

“Run Y/N! R-” Colby yelled, his breath hitching as the figure’s knife stabbed into his chest.

Pure adrenaline kicked through my veins as I bolted out of the building. I ran to the stairs, rushing down them as fast as I could. I wasn’t sure if the figure was behind me, but I knew I just needed to run. As I finally made it to the street, there were no cars around. It was late, already one AM. The police sirens and glow of their cars were so far away, possibly on the other side of campus.

I rushed down the street, praying to find a lone car or business open so I could call for help. But everything down the street was dark, deserted.

The only building that seemed to be open or have lights on was the new dorm. I raced around it, trying to find a single unlocked door. I found one towards the back of the building, an emergency exit that hadn’t been installed yet.

I needed to find a space to hide, knowing that once I felt safe, I could call for help. I didn’t want to run through the open lobby, so I kept going up the stairs to the second floor.

From down below me, the emergency exit busted open, the dark figure staring up at me as it raced up the stairs. My screams echoed off the walls of the staircase as I rushed through the second story door. I ran down the hallway, trying to find any room that was unlocked. The hallway was dark, only the occasional work light.

I could hear the slamming of the emergency door behind me. It was near; and getting closer. Fuck! I need to find somewhere to go. I just kept running, not knowing what else to do.

The building was almost in a circle shape, everything looping back around to one another. As I sprinted to the other emergency exit, the figure popped out, stopping me dead in my tracks.

How the fuck did he get over here?

I turned around, running back the way I came. As I got to an open living room area, the figure came down the hallway I was running towards. I spun around, gasping at the now two dark figures in front of me.

I backed up against the wall, the figures closing in. Tears clouded my vision as I stared at them, ready to die.

Suddenly they stopped, glancing at one another, and chuckling. Their laughs sounded familiar as they pulled off their masks.

“Sam…? Colby?” I sputtered.

Sam smiled. “In the flesh.”

“Surprise.” Colby smirked.

“W-Wha? What the- What the fuck?!” I screeched.

“What? Oh shit, did we scare you? Didn’t mean to do that.” Sam feigned concern.

Colby held back a laugh. “…Yeah, we’re only sort of lying about that.”

My body was frozen against the wall, “Is this some joke? A prank?”

“A prank? I think killing eight people is far past the point of a prank.” Sam glared.

“Our sense of humor isn’t that fucked up. What do you think we are, monsters?” Colby scowled, pointing his knife at me.

My stomach dropped as my heart raced faster. I could feel the color drain out of my face.

They killed everyone.

“No. No, y-you guys can’t be serious.” I cried.

“Oh, we’re dead serious. Why don’t you show her her prize, Colby?” Sam gestured.

“Sure. I’ll be right back.” Colby winked, backing away.

I moved forward as Colby turned the corner. Sam shoved me back against the wall, pulling out a gun from behind his back.

He pointed the gun at my chest. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

I whimpered. “Sam, why are you doing this?”

“Don’t worry, you’ll learn soon enough.” He grunted.

My eyes fell on Colby as he pulled Davis’ tied up body from around the corner. He was alive, but barely; blood soaked his clothes, and he looked dirty.

“Oh my God Davis!” I wailed, trying to run towards him.

Sam wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly against him. “Tsk tsk, Y/N. I told you not to move.”

“You’ve probably been wondering where he’s been. He’s been in here, just… chilling.” Colby snickered.

I shook my head, tears streaming down my cheeks. “No, no, no. This can’t be real. You guys-!”

Sam growled in my ear. “What?! We can’t be killers? Oh trust me, Y/N… we are.”

“And you know, all this happened… because of you.” Colby spun the knife in a small circle, until he rested it underneath my chin.

“Because of me?” I uttered.

“Yes. You see, that night you made Davis ‘apologize’, he didn’t actually do that. Maybe to you that’s what he said. But to us, he said something totally different.” Sam explained.

Colby mimicked Davis’ voice, “‘I remember you two dorks. Can’t believe Y/N has put up with you two losers for so long. My friends did nothing wrong in high school. You guys deserved every single thing that happened to you. I ain’t apologizing for shit.’”

“‘Honestly the shit they did was fucking hilarious. And if you’re not over it by now, that’s your fucking problem.’” Sam chimed in, doing the same voice.

“Well… now it seems like your problem too, Davis!” Colby cackled, kicking Davis in the stomach.

“‘You’re not gonna tell Y/N about this. She’s never gonna believe you anyway. I have her wrapped around my finger. She’s in love with me, so you might as well accept this as my apology.’” Sam quoted directly into my ear.

“Do you know how upsetting it was knowing he was right? You would have never believed us. Especially when he sent that dumb poor excuse of a text the next day claiming he was sorry.” Colby hissed.

“We would look like the bitter nerds that just couldn’t get over their dumb bully.” Sam replied.

“So you thought murdering our old classmates would make it better?!” I exclaimed.

“Every single one of them deserved it! They weren’t just our old classmates; they were the ones that bullied us!” Colby lurched at me, getting into my face.

My eyes widen at Colby’s words. He was right.

“The first one, James. That was my doing. Total accident, B-T-W. It was right after we stopped being friends, I was upset and we bumped into each other,” Sam recounted nonchalantly. “He recognized me from high school, and he called me his favorite name – you know, the old one he used to call me all the time back then. I blacked out, and when I came to, I had strangled him to death.”

“I killed Lizzie after seeing you at the party with Davis. You know, she was always so desperate, even back in high school. And she tried to get with me, and when I shot her down, she all of sudden remembered me. Started calling me a loser, and all this other stuff. It didn’t bother me at first, but then she brought up Madison and how she told everyone in school how bad I was our first time. So… I killed her.” Colby shrugged.

“We didn’t even know we had done these crimes until we both confessed to one another. And then from there, we just couldn’t stop.” Sam revealed, tightening his hold on me. “We basically went back and forth, one for one. Except Colby went a little rogue and killed… what was her name? Michelle. That night you were at our dorms. That… that one almost got us caught. Especially since you basically had pieced together that the killer was going after old classmates.”

“I’m sorry. What can I say, Michelle actually surprised me,” Colby chuckled darkly. “I was working on a project with her, we went to a party and… well, it doesn’t matter. Just know it was fun leaving her body outside of Davis’ frat. Too bad he saw me leaving. But that was when we realized Davis might actually be useful after all.”

“We got a burner phone, texted you once or twice, and things just fell into place. You broke up with him – because let’s be honest, we didn’t force him to throw parties after everyone’s deaths. That was all him. And his lack of caring? Also all him. So again, you really do know how to pick them,” Sam joked.  “And once you guys were done-zo, we realized kidnapping him and making him disappear would make you question if he was the one who did it.”

“Plus, we had mid-terms.” Colby added.

“How did you keep him here for a month?” I questioned.

Sam scoffed. “A month? No, we only just kidnapped him. Who the hell told you he’s been gone for a month?”

“A brother at the frat.” I remarked.

“Yeah, no. He’s wrong. Prior to that, Davis was actually ignoring you though. He was pretty upset about you breaking up with him.” Sam related.

Colby stared down at Davis who shook with fear. “He didn’t expect it since you were so wrapped around his finger.”

“I just don’t get it. Why would you do this?” I choked.

“We wanted to forget high school, we really did. The plans we had for life outside of this state were just too big. So, we made them smaller, thought going to the same school as our best friend would be fine and sure, we’d have run ins with old high school assholes, but who cares? That was years ago. We’ve all moved on, right?” Colby huffed.

“The thing is, when you deal with people who peaked in high school… life doesn’t move on for them. Their glory days consisted of making our lives shit day in and day out. They get to go on and not have to relive the trauma. Hell, they didn’t even have to pay for what they did. And what about that is right?” Sam spun me around to face him, his eyes glaring into mine, “Why do they get to live when a part of me and him died back then?”

His cold stare left me speechless. “I-I –”

“And then… you go and date one of them?” Sam shook his head in disappointment. “Now that… that’s fucked up. Which is why you have to die too.”

“Wha? No, no. Sam, Colby, please!” I begged.

Colby grabbed my arm, both of them gripping onto me. “There’s no point in begging now. You chose your fate the moment you picked him over us!”

“Please don’t do this. Just let me go and I won’t tell anyone.” I pleaded, lying.

Sam cocked the gun. “Yeah, right. You have a good moral compass on you, I remember our philosophy class together.”

“Wait! Can I kill her?” Colby interrupted.

“What, no dude. I’m the one with the gun, let me do it.” Sam protested.

Colby frowned. “But that’s no fair, you killed more people than me.”

“No I didn’t. We killed the same amount. I made it even tonight.” Sam bickered.

“Yeah, well, if you kill her than it’s uneven.” Colby complained.

“Then you can kill Davis and that way it’s even.” Sam compromised.

Colby breathed. “Oh oka-”

I punched Colby right in the face, knocking him back into the wall. I kicked Sam hard in the dick. He groaned loudly, dropping to his knees. The gun flung away from him, next to Davis’ body. Colby’s hands were suddenly around my neck from behind, choking me. I fought against his hold, elbowing him hard in the chest. Sam recovered from my kick, jumping up and pushing me back into Colby’s hands. He held Colby’s knife up against my chest, ready to stab me.

A loud gunshot echoed off the walls of the dorm. I felt a sharp, agonizing pain in my side. My vision blurred from the pain and lack of oxygen, and suddenly all was dark. Quiet.

~~~

Y/N’s body dropped to the floor as Sam and Colby turned towards Davis, who somehow came loose from his binds.

The gun was in his hands, pointed at them.

“Holy fuck, you shot Y/N!” Colby boomed.

“No! No! Fuck! I meant to shoot you!” Davis stammered, pure shock coursing through him.

“Oh my god bro, you actually killed her?!” Sam laughed. “Wow… you made this so much easier for us.”

“Don’t you step any closer! I’ll fucking kill you too!” Davis turned towards Sam, his finger on the trigger.

“Gonna be hard to do that. There’s only one bullet in the chamber.” Sam stated.

Davis stared at the gun, trying to open it to see if Sam was telling the truth. Sam rushed up to him, stabbing him in the chest hard.

Sam blinked. “Just kidding.”

Davis’ body collapsed on the floor, and Sam bent down and stabbed him three more times, each with more fury than the next.

“Aw man… I thought I was gonna kill Davis.” Colby pouted.

“Shut up, Colby. Okay, we gotta make this look like we fought. Put your mask on him. I’ll take my cloak off and leave it next to him. Then we gotta make ourselves look… beaten.” Sam barked.

Colby nodded his head, taking his mask and placing it on Davis’ dead body. Sam tore his cloak off, leaving it next to Davis. The extra mask and cloak they discarded, leaving it in the room where Davis had been held captive. They made sure to clean up somewhat, wiping their fingerprints off of all weapons.

“Alright so… I think we should at least give each other a black eye. Maybe a couple slices too.” Sam dictated.

Colby agreed. “Okay, should I go-”

Sam punched Colby in the face, snorting after Colby winced and backed up.

“She already punched me bro! You didn’t have to do that!” Colby whined.

“Sorry. Go ahead, take it out on me.” Sam pulled his arms back, closing his eyes.

“Man, I don’t know. I’d hate to h-” Colby decked Sam across the face, his rings cutting up Sam’s bottom lip.

Sam winced. “Fuck! Okay! Shit. Alright, I’ll slice at you once, and you do the same.”

“Okay…” Colby mumbled.

Sam grabbed the knife, swiping at Colby’s abdomen.

“Ow! Fuck, that hurt.” Colby grimaced.

Sam rolled his eyes. “You’re such a baby.”

“Give me the knife. Tell me how it feels.” Colby yanked the knife out of his hand, jolting it into Sam’s side.

Sam grunted deeply, holding his wound. “Why don’t you cut a little deeper next time, Colby?”

“Sorry, are you okay?” Colby asked.

Sam pulled out his phone, “Yeah I’m fine. Alright, that’s enough. Time to call the police.”

“Dude…” Colby exhaled happily. “I can’t believe we’re getting away with this.”

“Justice is finally being served.” Sam grinned.

Sam called 911, giving an Oscar-worthy performance on the phone. He even shed real tears. The police were over in a flash. Sam and Colby limping down to the lobby of the empty dorm to meet them, for dramatic effect. They made sure to make themselves look exhausted from the crazy night they just endured.  They told the police what happened – they saw the figure murder Sam’s girlfriend, one of the three that were killed tonight, and they followed him over to this building where they saw him dragging Y/N in. It was Davis, Y/N ex. He kidnapped her and killed her and tried to kill them as well. But they were able to fight him off and stab him.

They were escorted to the ambulance, a crowd of students lining up outside the building as they were being checked out.

Sam and Colby smiled at one another as they were loaded into the ambulance, needing to be fully checked out at the hospital.

A loud yell rang out as Y/N’s body was brought down on a stretcher. EMT’s surrounded her as they pulled her into a different ambulance.

“WAIT! She’s got a pulse!”

#sam and colby #sam golbach #colby brock #sam and colby fic #sam and colby fanfic #sam and colby fanfiction #sam and colby angst #sam golbach fanfic #sam golbach fic #sam golbach fanfiction #sam golbach angst #colby brock fic #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fanfiction #colby brock angst #sam and colby x reader #golbrocklovely's 13 nights of halloween

[nerves-nebula]

Hey. Yknow fusions?

This idea can be taken in multiple ways, but there's 2 most popular ways.

Characters go in sync and fuse, becoming a mesh of both, and usually break apart upon major internal disagreements. Steven Universe style.

Or characters are forced together in a body that is basically hc one person and half another.

But either way I'm curious as to what would occur in your iteration for either situation.

i have a character who's a forced fusion and he has. so many emotional issues about it. like he loves the people he's made of but they kind of hate each other, my mans is Mentally Ill <3

ALSO I think I've said this about a million times but YOU SHOULD JUST KNOW THAT I'm so fucking obsessed with body sharing and fusions (consensual or forced) and the idea of HAVING to share a life with someone. It's one of my favorite concepts to explore.

SO WITH THAT SAID!!! apologies it took so long to answer this, I just wanted to give it the time it deserved <<33

Donnie + Leo: most confused motherfucker ever. hates himself, loves himself, furiously frustrated with their state of being. he wants to be taken care of and NEEDS to be adored. everything she makes is brilliant one moment and terrible the next. he is NOT having a good time and she will make it EVERYONE'S problem. (he/they/she)

Donnie + Raph: What if Raph was more irritable and suicidal? what if debilitating guilt kept him going even FURTHER past his boundaries?? this motherfucker can hold so much guilt. hobbies include sleeping and neurotically upgrading the home security system. has a sort of surveillance state situation going on in the lair and will deny it whenever asked. (faggot gender)

Donnie + Mikey: A sweet, excitable, sensitive, artistic boy :) strong morals and a penchant for making friends. very passionate about mixing art and science (they're better together!!) likely the most functional of all the fusions. still hella mentally ill, but in a sort of "I'm going to go quietly insane in my room and secretly fear everyone thinks im awful" kind of way. (he/they)

Mikey + Leo: Most confident motherfucker ever. always righteously angry about something. no impulse control, too violent for her own good. gets herself hurt a lot. Will attack at the slightest sign of provocation. (any pronouns)

Mikey + Raph: overprotective bundle of energy. somehow always hyper and tired at the same time. really into home decor & repair (mixes artistic desire to create and express oneself, with the pragmatism of fixing up the home). probably loves food more than anyone in the world. (any pronouns)

Raph + Leo: Biggest Big Brother Ever. 100% annoying, 100% loving. Will lie to her little brothers for fun (that bug is poisonous. yeah, and if you touch it you'll die in three days. Oh, you already touched it?? :( better write your will!) he carries the world on his shoulders and cracks jokes about it. (he/she)

anyway here's doodles of my favorite fusion ideas.

#nnstuff #ask #teenage mutant neglected turtles #tmnt leo #tmnt raph #tmnt donnie #tmnt mikey #bodysharing #tmnt fusions

[writer-darling]

Systems (Part 3 of the My Werewolf's Keeper Universe)

Part 1 | Part 2 

Rating: T (13+)

Pairing: Jack Russell (Werewolf by Night, 2022) x GN!Reader

Warnings: Allusions and mentions of blood. Mentions of food, eating. More-than-friends-but-not-a-couple trope. Mutual pining. Descriptions of fear and anxiety.  Mentions of monsters. Distrust among best friends, tension (both sexual and non), mentions of injuries (non-graphic), mentions of anxiety symptoms, hyperventilating, mutual pining, hurt/comfort dynamic, mentions of weaponry (tranquilizer gun). If there are any that I missed, please inbox me to let me know and I will add them in :)

Word Count: 3k

Summary!: Set directly after the events of “Once,”

******

Jack tries his hardest to make things between you two better, and you have to admire his tenacity. He’s doing everything to try and put you at ease, making himself available for anything you might need from him. Other than that, he acts relatively normal around you, but there’s a new sense of disconnection between you two. On your end, you know it’s distrust. He’s blocked you off, at least partially, your entire friendship. Truth omitting or just straight up lying, you don’t have enough information to label it correctly just yet. But still, it hurts. It hurts way more than you were expecting. 

Granted, he had good reason to block you off from that part of his life. I mean how does someone spring “by the way I’m a werewolf!” on a best friend like that? It could never be a natural tidbit of information, no way. But, you had always tried to show up for Jack. To allow him the freedom to be open with you and not have to worry about judgement, just as he had for you. So what was it then? Did he just not trust you? Was he truly so worried that you would have run off screaming for the hills if you knew about his true nature? Whatever it was, it made him nervous. Well, more nervous than normal.

Much like he is now. You’re in the kitchen, putting away the groceries you bought around noon. The morning had been spent with both of you exchanging simple “good mornings” and breakfast bagels, but there had been that underlying tension that now seemed to drench every interaction you two shared. He’d snuck the usual glances at you, but the way he watched you felt different. It felt like he was analyzing you, just waiting for the moment you run off. He’s still watching you now, his eyes remaining glued to your form as you go about putting the mini cucumbers in one of the produce crispers while he places the Frosted Flakes box next to the box of pancake mix in the pantry. Now that his ruse is up, he’s able to travel throughout the house freely without having to pretend to lock himself up in his room for 72 hours. So, you took up his offer to help you out with the groceries. You’re regretting it now, wishing you had time to think. Though it’s not like you haven’t spent all hours of the previous night thinking. Your head is practically bursting from all the overstimulation. 

As you move to grab the Greek yoghurt, he leans over you to open the spice cabinet, shakers of ground cinnamon, cloves, and black pepper in one of his hands. You tense immediately, pressing yourself into the counter just as you turn to face him, tub in your own hand. His body is extra-warm as it hurdles you in place. You drop your eyes from him. Usually this accidental-unaccidental forced proximity between you both would make warmth blossom in your chest. Usually. The hurt on his face is clear, his eyes looking at anywhere but you as he moves away quickly, a quiet “sorry,” making its way past his lips, putting the spices beside you before he moves all the way across the kitchen. You ignore the shiver that runs down your spine and say nothing in response, both of you finishing up with a renewed speed fueled by awkwardness and shame.

As soon as you’re done, Jack is out of the kitchen like a bat out of hell, taking a granola bar with him for lunch. You sigh when you realize he’s gone and get to work, finding something simple to make for dinner. You choose something filling after reconsidering for a moment, since you really don’t know when or even if he eats once he leaves during the night. How much should you make? How fast do werewolf metabolisms work anyway? He had an appetite, he always did, but how much did the wolf eat in comparison to Jack? All valuable questions that you put into the back of your mind for now, fully intent on asking Jack about them later. You decide to make beef stroganoff, with a side of potatoes and a fresh salad. It’ll keep him full for the night you hope. 

You let your mind wander as you cut and dice and cook and boil and bake for the next few hours. Your movements are on autopilot as your busy mind tries to think about anything but Jack and what he’s doing. Most likely preparing for his next transformation tonight. Your brain replays the events from last night - yet again. It’s been doing that on-and-off all day. This time around, it chooses to focus on the cage you saw before he decided to tackle you. The way it was absolutely bare, no bed, no comfort in it. Not even a blanket. It had been a clear place for punishment. The chains, the dirt floor, the damp and cold of it all. The deep claw marks. Your stomach twists uncomfortably at that last image. You shake your head, but your brain doesn’t let you rest. A sudden idea pops into your mind and you decide to act on it, heading to the linen closet before going outside as quietly as possible, not wanting Jack to hear.

When you’ve finished with that and are back in the kitchen a couple more hours later, you serve yourself a plate full of food before making your way upstairs quietly. Once in the room, you grab your laptop from your bedside table and power it on. You decide to browse around for some job listing in town, having set up your resume through one of those job search websites. No offers yet. You turn on the TV, finding a two-and-a-half hour movie to watch as you eat and continue applying to local listings. The food is just as filling as you’d hoped, and the creaminess of the stroganoff and starchiness of the potatoes quickly puts you into a food coma, your laptop still on your knees as the end credits of the movie roll.

The sunlight filtering through the window wakes you up in the morning. Your laptop is now beside you, having tipped over while you slept. It’s dead, so you connect it to the charger as you grab your phone from your nightstand. No calls or messages from Jack, but you get up anyway, knowing where he’ll be.

Before making your way outside, you grab the throw from the living room, and then a pair of his slippers that he keeps by the front door.

The sound of oldies from the 1940s makes its way across the lawn to your ears as you begin your trek towards the cellar. The doors are wide open, and you make your way down the steps slowly, cautiously. When your eyes adjust to the darkness, you spot him immediately, taking advantage of your idea from yesterday. The blanket covers him completely, and he’s sound asleep as you approach the cage. His face is open as he dreams, a soft snore slipping from between his lips. You notice though that even in his sleep, there’s that familiar furrow between his brows and his mouth is turned down in a slight frown. You watch him for a few minutes, not wanting to disrupt him from his sleep just yet. There’s mud caked under his fingernails, and his body (the parts of it you can see anyway) and face are covered in streaks of dirt and grime. His hair is a mess, leaves and twigs caught in the strands. You spot a bruise on his left shoulder, and then a deep scratch on his right calf.  The knuckles on both of his hands are swollen and purple. What the hell did he do last night? Before you have a chance to speculate, he startles awake. His eyes shoot open and he sits up, the blanket falling from his upper torso. His eyes dart wildly around the room as he begins to hyperventilate, his mouth agape as he breathes roughly. 

“Jack, Jack!” His eyes find you and you move closer. “It’s ok, you’re safe.” His features shift in confusion, his gaze hazy and unfocused. “Can I come in?” You ask. He nods, rubbing his eyes as his breathing slowly evens out. You cringe as the shrill creak of the door pierces through the relative calm of the cellar. He’s watching you again, his expression still holding fear. You move very slowly, shifting into a crouching position so you’re at eye level with him. “Are you ok?” He slowly shakes his head. He’s trembling. You grab the throw you brought from over your shoulder, placing it over his form. He curls it around his body. When you sit down on the floor, keeping a few feet of space between you, he quickly shuffles over and hugs you to him, curling his face into your neck. You don’t move, and he’s about to pull away, remembering. But you can tell he’s scared, his heartbeat fast against your chest and little huffs of panicked breaths ghosting over your pulse point. Slowly, you hug him, wrapping your arms around his body. At your touch, he holds onto you tighter, instantly melting into you and leaning his head on your shoulder.

“I’m ok. I’m just tired.” He mumbles into your jacket. You don’t believe him, but you don’t push it.

“Ok, do you want to go inside?” You ask. You feel him shake his head lightly.

“Let’s stay here for a few minutes.” So you do, sitting there with him. He smells like moss and dirt. But there’s also his scent underneath that, the cologne you always get him for his birthday that smells like musk and vevitier. Hints of citrus and leather. It’s so familiar, it makes your heart skip. You curl a hand into his hair. He lets out a long sigh, his breath warm but finally even against your skin as your free hand rubs up and down his back. 

Your mind begins to wander as your eyes scan the bleakness of the cellar. You realize then that if you didn’t know about his condition, then surely not many others do either. Jack was a solitary man by nature. Not unfriendly, but he kept a tight lid on his emotions around others. Now you know why. Still, you realize he must be much more lonely than you could have even imagined. Never letting anyone be too close. Never formulating a true connection. And that revelation breaks your heart. For you, of course, since you always considered him your most trusted friend. But for him as well. Did you truly know him? You liked to believe you did. But you still couldn’t be sure.

After a good 10 minutes, he pulls away, helping you stand. He keeps both blankets wrapped around him as you two walk back to the house after locking up the cellar.

“What did you do last night?” You ask him as you both walk across the dew-soaked lawn. 

“Had a job to do out in the woods: a fae got loose from our research facility and I had to track him down.” He says. He says it so nonchalantly that you have to laugh, shaking your head.

“What?” He asks, his expression light as he gazes at you.

“Nothing, just.. Man, I can’t believe all this.” You say, another sound - something between a chuckle and a scoff - coming out of your throat.

Inside the house, you are about to direct him to the bathroom.

“Why?” He asks.

“Well, you gotta shower first of all because you’re covered in dirt and muck.” He glances down at his covered body. “And second, I gotta clean up all those wounds on your-” You cut off as your eyes fall to his knuckles keeping the blankets close to his form. They’re red now, and barely swollen at all.

“Oh.” He says, calling you attention back to his face. “Don’t worry about my injuries; they heal on their own pretty well most of the time.” 

“Is that another wolf thing?” You ask.

“Yeah, fast healing.” He replies. You nod, pensively.

“Well, I guess that explains that time I swore I saw you break your ankle playing flag football with the Suarez boys but you were able to chase down Ms. Torres pig the next day.”  He goes red at the memory, nodding sheepishly.

“Yeah, I did break it that day, but it healed quickly. It was the day after my first transformation ended.” You nod, resuming your guiding. He smiles, following, and steps into the bathroom.

“Well, you still need to shower. Go, and I’ll get you some clean clothes from your room.” He stops you with a touch on your wrist. You turn back towards him and he drops his hand.

“I’m glad you know the truth now.” He says, his relief genuine. You smile after a moment, nodding.

“Me too.”

You place the clothing - a grey t-shirt, some navy flannel pjs, boxers, and a pair of socks - on the counter. You go outside, checking the mailbox at the end of the driveway. There’s a few letters all for Jack, and a fresh newspaper. You take your time walking back, and by the time you go inside Jack is in the kitchen dressed and cooking what seems to be french toast and breakfast sausage. He glances at you over his shoulder as you sit at the table, opening up the newspaper and laying the mail on the table. 

“I forgot to thank you for dinner yesterday. It was really good, thank you. And for the help this morning.”

“Yeah, of course. I wasn’t sure if it would be enough for you, but I figured there’s probably not a lot of places you can eat as a wolf. The help well, I just did what I thought would be best.” You respond, but your eyes remain glued to one of the front page headlines: 2 Dead in Forest Animal Attack. 

He calls your name and you call back with a “Yeah, what’s up?” As you look down at the newspaper in your hands, beginning to read the actual story.

“I have something for you.” The tone of his voice catches your attention. It’s quiet, and grave. You set the newspaper down on the table and turn to look at him, but your eyes immediately zero in on the gun in his hands. You hadn't even noticed it beside him on the kitchen counter, away from the hot stove, of course.

“A… hunting rifle? Gee, Jack you shouldn’t have.. You really shouldn’t have.” He knew you had an aversion to weapons.

“This isn’t a regular rifle. It’s a special gun I had made.” He reaches you and holds it out to you but you don’t grab it. 

“Don’t tell me there’s a round of silver bullets in here.” You say, only half joking. One corner of his mouth quirks up into a tiny smirk.

“No, it’s a tranquilizer gun. I want you to have it.” You meet his eyes, your hands almost reaching for it but you hesitate again. He nods in encouragement and you purse your lips for a second. You grab it but immediately set it on the table away from you. 

“Why are you giving me this again?” You ask him as you eye the body of the gun.

“I can be… unpredictable the morning after a full moon.” He explains, averting his eyes from you as he answers.

“Unpredictable?” You ask, quirking an eyebrow at him. He nods, returning his gaze to you and you can see that his eyes are dead serious.

“Sometimes I can recover in five minutes, other times it takes five days. It’s all still unpredictable. I’ve never hurt anyone. But, I don’t know where I am - who I am - until the adrenaline passes. And if you’re still willing to do this, this is my only condition.” 

“So… you want me to use this?” You ask, your voice already teetering on protest. He was your friend, there’s no way you could shoot him, even if he begged you. You didn’t have the heart to shoot anyone, let alone Jack.

“I want you,” he grabs your hand then and places it on the gun, closing your fingers around it with his own. You notice how his hand encompasses your own entirely, warm and firm around your grip. “to have a way to protect yourself.” Your eyes meet and you know there’s no negotiating this. He wants you safe, even if it has to be from him. Your gaze searches his, but there’s still no give in his intensity. Your eyes dart from him to the gun, then back again. “Please, it’ll give me some peace of mind.” After a beat, you nod, and his body visibly eases with relief.

“Ok.” He smiles, appreciative that you’re not fighting him on this too much, and drops his hand from yours as he turns back to the food at the stove. You’re left to contemplate this latest bit of information, turning the gun over in your hands. You finally take a closer look at it. It’s nothing fancy, looking like any old rifle to you with a rich brown butt, handguard, and pistol grip, while the rest of the body is a charcoal grey metal. There’s a scope attached to it, and in the chamber is not a bullet, but instead a small dart with a metal needle and a glass vial which contains a bright red liquid within it. Must be the tranquilizer.

“Are you hungry? I’ve got breakfast ready.” He says, changing the subject. You can’t help yourself as you grin, familiar playfulness returning.

“Mmm, like a wolf.” You reply, standing up and placing the gun back on the table.

*****

No, I’m still not out of love with Jack Rusell, shut up. 

Tag List: @pedrocentric @luz-introvertida @castleamc @moralesfish @klara-luise18 @supernaturalgirl89 @december-gal1 @pbeatriz @castleamcc @hillarymurray4 @supernaturalgirl @supernaturalgirl20​ @sherala007​ @littlemisspascal​ @practicalghost​ @donnaa​ @scorpio-marionette​ @kayleezra​ @amandanik23​ @maxpbxtch97 @lowlights @shadesofnerdlygrace @harriedandharassed @carefulnowprincess @amneris21 @horton-hears-a-honk @xdaddysprincessxx @trickstersp8 @mswarriorbabe80 (hope it’s ok that I’m tagging you all!)

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#Gael Garcia Bernal #werewolf by night #marvel #gael garcia bernal x gender neutral reader #gael garcia bernal x you #jack russell x gender neutral reader #Jack Russell x you #my werewolf's keeper au #crossposted on AO3 #writer darling

[urloveangel]

Hey! I loved your post about how when you have things you want to buy or invest in you think about how you can make more money to easily afford them, and the Universe always provides. It really resonated and I of course happened to see it at the exact time I needed it, haha. I wanted to ask if you had any examples in particular of this happening that you could please share? I would love to hear about those if you do. It’s so relevant for my journey right now. Thank you, I love your blog 🥰

Aw thank you angel, glad it resonated and helped you 💗

It’s all divinely orchestrated, never a coincidence 😊

It happens to me all the time tbf I’m so grateful my levels of abundance and opportunities continuously expand and increase. At some point I realized that the saving up perspective comes from the scarcity/lack mindset and limits how much I can create/earn. But truly I’ve been shown over and over again that there’s no threshold to what we can create and attract.

I’ve learned to surrender and trust instead because I choose to live in the world of abundance and where the Universe loves to bless me and provide for me.

Thanks to this shift I manage to earn more and more, I can afford vacations even to further places that I wouldn’t be able to afford a year or 2 ago. I also invest a lot (and tbf primarily) in my healing, consciousness expansion and education (for personal growth but also to support my business and purpose around helping others). I invest in energy healing sessions, ceremonies, courses, certifications, books, herbs etc. These investments are the most rewarding I’d say and I feel like the Universe rewards me for my commitment to my spiritual growth and serving the awakening of our collective by creating more abundance in my life. Plenty of times I invested in my healing and courses even though some were pretty expensive or scary to invest in (at least at the time) but then I’m always rewarded back tenfold (not saying it’s always financially tho) and somehow I’m able to invest even more next time.

Notice how I also call these investments instead of spending money etc. which is a game changer too! Words and how we see those energetic exchanges matter very much!

The good quality food, classes, sessions, treatments, nice quality clothes, holidays, books etc etc are all investments in myself, my well-being, my business which also then reflect on how I can show up for others and help them and share my abundance with them too ❤️ For me claiming abundance and ability to invest in myself is also a big part of ancestral healing / healing of my lineage ❤️

The way the Universe expands my abundance also comes in various ways very often it’s unexpected - eg. a new client for my healing business, a promotion or bonus at my 9-5, receiving money from family for birthday or other occasions, receiving gifts and the actual things I wanted to get myself from others without me having to spend a penny, unexpected refunds, or unexpected opportunities to save on some things or no longer having to pay for something I have before (it happens on its own not as a result of me trying to find ways to save, like the Universe removes it for me).

It’s also good to know when to ask for help (taking action is important in manifesting and trusting the Universe) - even when it comes to financial support when you want to invest in your own transformation and growth (I wouldn’t necessarily do it for material goods personally). For example check if you can get a credit card, a bank loan, a payment plan, ask your family and friends if they’re able to support your healing journey, education, business growth (eg suggest that instead of small not so meaningful birthday gifts you’d like them to gift you a healing session or chip in for a course). Feel into the situation and put yourself out there, explore different opportunities. Asking for help is completely fine, we’re not meant to do it all on our own. Ofc be mindful and take time to understand the terms and how you actually feel about it (don’t do it if it feels too risky or you’re too anxious) but we deserve to get support. People borrow/ask for money for luxury bags, cars, houses, university degrees etc so you can also invest in yourself and your growth which are more important than the former.

But yes most importantly (dare to) ask the Universe for what you want and that you’re open for support and trust that you’ll receive it. Nothing is out of reach. See yourself living that life, having that thing/experience. But also don’t attach too much to the outcome. You’ll be perfectly fine whether you receive it or not because it’s not about what happens / what you have it’s who you are - on identity level you’re already abundant and you’re grateful for it with all your being ❤️

The Universe, our ancestors, our spirit guides and higher self want us to enjoy this journey and show up for ourselves, so give yourself permission to do just that 💫

#ask #law of abundance #abundance #surrender #trust #divine timing #higher self #manifesting #gratitude

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

How do people make friends? I really struggle to connect with people.

I’ve had close friend before, like in middle school. And I really cherish those memories. I still care for those friends but we grew apart as time went on. But things have been hard for me ever since especially now in uni it’s hard

you should ask someone who wants to make friends xdd

I am not the type of person who seeks social interaction, so I can't say I have consistent experience on this. But I do understand that, for most, friendships are essential for enrichment of life itself. Therefore, to make friends in your areas of interest, you need to put yourself in situations where those people interact and speak to those that interest you.

The reason why it is so easy to make friends when you're younger is 1) promixity - if you're in some type of school, all of the children there already have a shared experience (education? hopefully, lol) and 2) fearlessness - you're not afraid to put yourself out there. You don't yet have repeated experiences of disagreements, rejection, awkwardness, learning the difficulties of reconciliation, etc. When you're in school, you all have something to talk about that's everyone around you is going through.

Once you move to university and beyond, however, these two things change. Individuals are trying to hone their area of expertise, find who they are, and everyone is on a different path. You might also become more apprehensive about approaching others because you don't know what they've been through and they don't know what you've been through. It's also hard to make friends in adulthood since there's no "central place" to easily make friends.

To make friends in adulthood, you need to 1) put yourself in places where people gather that share your interests (to have something in common / jumpstart a convo) and 2) know what kind of people you want to be friends with. For example, if you want to have friends to work out with, go to specific gym classes that you're interested in. Go to food festivals if you're a big foodie. Concerts, comedy shows, video game tournaments - there's tons of options, both free and some you need to pay for. You can even make online friends. If there's a genre of YouTube videos you're always watching, comment on those videos. Engage with social media accounts that interest you. You can't be a lurker - you gotta put yourself out there to people you would like to be friends with.

Which brings me to my second point - determine what kinds of people you want to be friends with. Do you want people going through a similar path as you in life? Or different paths to learn from? Do you want people to inspire you? Do you want a group to do something specific with? People also have types of personalities they best get along with too. Are you someone who is low energy and need someone higher energy? The opposite? Similar energy level? Go into it with an open mind ofc, but I think it's good to have an idea if the kinds of people you want to be around so you're not overwhelmed. You don't need to have any great expectations. People don't become best friends right away. You can also have different friends for your different areas of interest (ex: kpop friends who are not the same people as your workout buddies, etc). The depth of relationships occurs over time and requires emotional chemistry. Compatability depends on willingness if both parties. Don't force it too much; let what comes naturally happen.

Go out and do stuff you're interested in. Talk to people. Allow others to approach you. Be okay with rejecting those that aren't the kinds of people you want to surround yourself with. Doesn't mean they're bad. Maybe they're just not clicking with you right now. Be okay with being rejected - it's not personal. Maybe they're having a bad day or they're looking for a different type of person.

but

I'm not really an expert on this, this is just information I received from others way more sociable than I am which is not that difficult lol all I wanna do is play video games and hang out with my cat

y-yeah this cat ofc

and a bunbun

[kickthecan-revolution]

#

I’ve had to take a couple of meetings the last two days but it was worth it, I needed to get the feedback on the model I’ve put together to validate the feasibility analysis my team and I did on what is needed for a successful implementation. Everyone loves it and my instinct to not launch it too early without feedback from our Regional Directors was correct - they are running multi-million dollar businesses and need to have a say where their payroll goes. I met with our EMEIA Director this morning with my boss on the line as well - my boss’s boss is in London and offered to take her through the model but the Director said “if OK, I’d rather Diane take me through it, she has a level of detail that’s important.” which was hilarious and awesome. We stayed on for an hour, talking about our stores, our leaders, what they are all experiencing right now - she teared up, it’s so hard and my model is going to help if we create the right change management around it. My heart was so full after our conversation, she said “after 14 years, you’ve finally done it. congratulations.” And not a backhanded compliment, she knows how difficult it’s been and all of the obstacles we’ve faced. 

##

It’s so huge. We’ve done some work that is going to help so much. This larger Retail University idea needs the payroll plumbing first and this will do it. One of my team broke down in tears last week, she feels so disrespected by our current senior Leadership and so lost in her role - what she didn’t know is behind the scenes, my long-time best friend, sister cat colleague R and I- the person who I’ve led the training team with forever -  figured out a way of positioning my team with the Big Boss of the new vision of this university so we can do that work instead of the insanity we’re in now. I got on the phone with him and subtly showed him how my team can help - this morning, she sent me a screenshot and with the note “we are currently discussing how to get your team engaged on this”.  So it’s happening, but my doesn’t know it yet because I won’t share it until it’s secured. One of my skills is political savvy - my borderline tendencies create belief that every moment needs to be survived, not lived - so interactions with others always has a “succeed or die” component to it which makes me particularly adept at being liked, ensuring others are heard, that I match their energy and understand their needs. That’s a need in Corporate America despite its darker and more broken intent. And, I am a Socialist by nature -  I authentically care about everyone’s success and believe that a good solution means success for everyone’s individual projects and have innate ability to synthesize them into one big solution, but talk about that solution so everyone’s priority is seen and heard in it. So they are willing to work with me. Caring for people and telling the truth are more than just sentiment - they are the agents of change and for people who ultimately value good things, work (eventually). 

###

I called the interior designer who helped me with my place to start phase 2, furniture is expensive and I don’t want to fuck it up. I don’t need anything fancy but I need an expert to help me invest the money I am (now) willing to spend; at first I wasn’t because of my loathing to contribute to the landfill but after falling asleep on my sofa and waking up to a bad back, I want a new couch. And I want a cool kitchen table and the storage unit to not smell like cat litter. And I think I want to figure out how to put a hot tub on the terrace. So she’ll help me figure all of that out. 

####

I treated myself to some pancakes this morning but now I’m going to focus on my health. I’m going to lose some weight and be a better advocate for my body. The way I eat now is grounded in emotional soothing - I can have a different relationship to food now. My own. 

[pinkhuman99]

Sans for the character opinions bingo

Okay, I will now explain everything I circled because I know a few will be confusing (and because I never want to stop talking about Sans, my #1 blorbo, my scrimblo, my scrunkly wunkus)

1. I am obsessed with his character arc. There is so much to his "backstory" that we just don't know. However, it's pretty clear from many limes of dialogue that he's lost and depressed and hopeless. However, during a pacifist route, he actively puts in the effort to take care of his family, his friends, and the Human. A lot of people say he doesn't lift a finger to help you, but at one point he supplies you with healing items, and he is always telling you something encouraging. By the end of the pacifist route he is willing to let go of (some of) the past and move on and be happy with his new family/friends. I cannot and will not stop thinking about this.

2. You know why I think he got done dirty by fans. Some people boil him down to funny ha-ha bone man. Some boil him down to angst and Bad Time. And some people so fundamentally misunderstand his character that they place him in AUs where they put an adjective or something in front of his name and ship him with different versions of "himself" that all might as well be completely different characters considering how they ARE ACTUALLY COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CHARACTERS.

3. Okay, let me explain. Do I think Sans is one of the best-written characters in Undertale, along with the likes of Alpnys and Toriel? Yes. Do I also just want him to get some love and comfort but Toby made several routes where he is trapped and hopeless and possibly he comes from Deltarune and if that's the case no-one can stop his inevitable trapping in the world of Undertale? Also yes. So thank you Mr. Fox, but also, screw you Mr. Fox.

4. I am constantly rotating him around in my head. He is all I think about. I think I am legitimately in love with this fictional character. Judge me if you want. But I wish he could be happy more than anything. I have so many theories and thoughts about this man.

5. Every song I listen to is about this man in some way. I will not elaborate on this. If you send me a song, I will find a way to make it related to him somehow.

6. I WANT TO STUDY HIM LIKE A ROACH. I AM ALREADY STUDYING HIM. EVERY NEW CHAPTER OF DELTARUNE BRINGS US (potentially) CLOSER TO UNLOCKING THE SECRETS OF HIS BACKSTORY. IS DELTARUNE HIS HOME? IF IT IS, WHY AND HOW DOES THE MACHINE PLAY INTO THIS? HOW DID HE END UP IN UNDERTALE?? much to think about!!!

7. What's wrong with him (affectionate)? He and Papyrus are so weird, and then @carlyraejepsans goes and makes a bunch of posts like, yesterday, that make him even weirder. And I cannot thank them enough for this. He is goofy. He can be terrifying. He has an angst backstory. He is full of hope. He is ha-ha funny man. He knows about quantum physics and may have been a scientist at some point. He fortnite dances. He can't go home. Is his accent fake? Is his name even "Comic Sans"??? Or is that a persona??

8. He will never have enough screen time. Toby could make an entire game only about him and it wouldn't be enough. I need more time with this man. He is fantastic. I want to know more about him, but not just the backstory. What is his favourite food? His favourite movie? What was his childhood like? I am going insane.

9. He has never done anything wrong. He kept his promise as best he could to Toriel. He is sweet to his brother, and in many neutral endings, his other friends. He helps you. He makes you laugh. Even when he kills you, it's for a reason. And in Deltarune, so far, he's just some guy running a small business.

10. Okay, I may be generalising the fanbase here. I follow many Undertale blogs with good and/or shared opinions of the man. But some of my thoughts and feelings, while not controversial, may be...a lot? Too much? Too weird? Like, maybe I just project onto this man or too much Steven Universe/Gravity Falls has given me theory brainrot regarding this man. And yet...

11. I circled this one in a different colour bc it is strictly a personal opinion, and you know what? Anyone can disagree with me. This is not a hill I will die on, but one I like to sit on while humming and picking flower. Basically, I won't fight to convince other people of my view of him. I love him, certainly, and I want other people to think he's great, too, but I won't argue that he's "better" than any one character. He's just the one I, personally, like the most. But I also love the other characters a whole bunch, too. They all have flaws, they all have strengths, and Mr. Toby Fox made them all wonderful friends or well-written and empathetic enemies. All said and done, I love every one of Toby's characters because they're all lovable in some way. Sans is just my little scrunkly, my scrumbus, my himbly humbly horcus. Uh...sorry. I just love him. 💀

[sillystardew]

could u do "loved gifts" post with non-datable villagers? thank u!

Non-romanceables and their loved gifts

Since there are so many of the non-romanceables, i kept the amount of gifts limited to 2-4 (instead of doing all of the non-universal gifts like i did with the bachelor/ettes)

Caroline

-Summer spangles are her favorite flowers. She likes the way they look, and they smell amazing when she walks by the community center to read or meditate. She likes to grow them in her greenhouse during most seasons, but she thinks they smell the sweetest when they grow wild in the summer.

-She likes anything tangy or strong smelling, and tropical curry just has a perfect blend of spices for her tastes. She considers it her favorite food

-Living on a coastal town, you get pretty accustomed to eating lots of seafood. Fish tacos are so cheap and easy to make, and the fish from the ocean just taste different from the ones harvested on farms. They’re her go-to thing to make after workouts, too, because they’re quick and filling :)

Clint

-Artichoke dip is pretty easy to make, and he doesn’t have to spend a lot of time making it. It’s one of those meals that are easier for him to eat and make during the day while he works

-He loves fiddlehead risotto. He doesn’t really consider himself a foodie, but he always appreciates a high-quality and well made dish. Its what he usually eats at the saloon if he doesn’t want to cook for himself.

Demetrius

-He built an ice-cream machine with Maru when she was younger. It was just an experiment, but eating ice-cream reminds him of one of the first times he and Maru worked on something together. They still have it (along with it’s additional improvements).

-Bean hotpot was something he ate frequently as a kid. He likes healthy foods and wants to encourage good habits for his kids, so he makes it pretty frequently.

Dwarf

-He enjoys breaking open geodes. It’s a nice way to pass the time, and most of the stones that come out of omni geodes are ones he likes

-His favorite crystals and minerals are the bright and colorful ones. They’re easier to find in the dark caves, and they add some nice color to his otherwise pretty monotone decor

Evelyn

-She really enjoys traditional holiday foods, stuffing being one of her favorites. It reminds her of all the holidays she has spent with her family and friends

-She’s grown flowers since she was very young. When she was a child, her and her family had a tulip garden. She still loves to grow tulips every spring, and the flowers makes the whole town smell vaguely sweet (poor Sam with his allergies, though)

George

-Food is something He’s always been able to appreciate. He might be a grumpy old man, but he’ll warm up to anyone who can cook a good meal.

-He really doesn’t like much fried food, but mushrooms are the exception.

Gus

-He thinks it’s fun to try to overcomplicate very simple dishes. There’s beauty in the simplicity, of course, but he still loves to see what he can do to put even more effort into a dish. Fish tacos are something he’s constantly making new recipes for.

-Being able to enjoy food from people who he knows and being able to share his food with people who truly appreciate it is something completely priceless to him. He’ll enjoy pretty much any food you give him

Jas

-She likes fairy roses because they’re her favorite color, purple! She also likes their name – she’s always liked fairies :)

-She likes sweets, like any kid, but pink cake is special to her. She remembers having it on her birthday with her parents.

Jodi

-She doesn’t like to snack throughout the day. It makes her feel hungrier, so she just prefers to eat larger meals. She doesn’t hate cooking, but its always nice to be able to enjoy a meal someone else prepared, so she loves when people offer their leftovers to her and her family. Caroline makes excellent eggplant parmesan!

-The ring kent proposed to her with was a diamond on a gold band. Seeing the clear stone always brings her back to when they were younger

Kent

-Unlike Jodi, Kent prefers to snack lightly throughout the day and eat a nice dinner by the end. Roasted hazelnuts smell amazing, and the taste reminds him of the holidays.

-Fiddlehead risotto was something he hadn’t tried until his family moved to the valley. It was one of the last meals they ate together before he was sent to war.

Krobus

-Krobus has never truly had a friendship with a human before. He admired them from afar, but until the farmer came along, he had never interacted with one. Being given man-made gifts reminds him of how close he is with the farmer now. (He’s also quite crafty, so he appreciates the extra material.)

-Wild horseradish was one of the first things he ate when he came to the surface. It is spicy to humans, but the taste is different to him. He’s not quite sure how to describe it.

Leo

-He likes to hear about birds from other places. The parrots are some of the only birds on his island, so he appreciates the tales of differently colored birds, and other animals for that matter. The farmer bringing him a duck feather was one of the most beautiful gifts he had ever received.

-Poi is a food he learned how to make on the island. Its fairly easy and the ingredients are easy to find, so he and the parrots enjoy it a lot. After he leaves the island, it’s harder for him to get the ingredients, so he loves whenever he’s able to eat it.

Lewis

-Lewis has lived in the valley for a very long time. He loves any meals that remind him of the town around him, especially autumn’s bounty.

-He doesn’t have much of a tolerance for spicy food, but when you removes the seeds from a hot pepper, it’s easier for him to eat. He loves the taste of them, and finds them strangely refreshing

Linus

-He loves the nature around him, and loves to taste things from other places as well. Coconuts and cactus fruit let him enjoy the life of other places in the valley.

-Him and willy are fairly close, and any time he goes to the docks to spend time with him, Willy makes dish o’ the sea. Its a filling meal, and Linus doesn’t eat ocean fish all that often

Marnie

-Another villager who just can’t get enough of seasonal foods. Pumpkin pie is her favorite, it reminds her of fall

-She likes to eat dinner with her family. She makes farmers lunch for Jas and Shane a lot

Pam

-Like penny, she really enjoys root vegetables, especially parsnips. Parsnip soup is by far her favorite meal

-She’s not much of a sweets gal, but cactus fruit is the exception.

Pierre

-Fried calamari is everything to him. It is his life. It is his love. It is his god. It is his soul. It is his purpose.

Robin

-She likes a lot of classic meals, like lasagna and spaghetti. Any pasta dish is good in her eyes, really

-She likes to eat quick snacks while she works, so she loves if the farmer ever offers her some of their produce while she’s building things for them. She’s always liked dairy, but the farmers goat cheese is out of this world!

Sandy

-She loves stardew valley. Like Linus, she appreciates being able to admire the beauty of life. Emily brings her foraged gifts often. Her favorite is Crocus plants

-She likes anything mango-flavored. Mango sticky rice was one of those foods that she knew she would love, even before she tried it

Vincent

-He loves sweet and sour candy! Cranberry candy is his favorite, he likes the color and the taste :)

-He loves snails. Bugs in general, but ESPECIALLY snails. They’re his favorite animal

Willy

-He loves fried catfish, especially when its homemade. Any additional catfish he can add to his batch is a great gift

-sturgeon are valuable for a reason! They have a great flavor, and they have a lot of meat on them, so they can feed a lot of people. He sells most of the ones he catches, but he admittedly saves some for himself

Rasmodius

-He never stops learning about the arcane. Any additional things he can add to his studies is welcome, and he appreciates any gifts of magical items. He particularly appreciates void/solar essence, as They’re harder for him to get on his own (they’re also used in a lot of recipes)

#stardew valley #stardew headcanon #stardew fanfic #my writing

[rinskiroo]

my squishable star wars friends

Jasati - JK. My main girl. Theron x Jas OTP forever and ever. The reluctant Commander who went through a real depressive out of her mind phase during the whole losing five years and getting possessed (again) by the Emperor time period. Probably retired and living somewhere on Odessen.

Aqilah - Barsen'thor; I go back and forth if she exists in the same universe as Jas. She romanced Arcann, but I really miss Felix. She's a bookish nerd who, if she were Commander, would take the throne because no one else can be trusted to just chill the fuck out and be peaceful. She's got those healy hands so when Arcann wanted to spar with swords for their date she was kind of weirded out tbh.

Ruest - Baby boy Ru-Ru, my love. Poor, sad, little Cipher Nine. He loves Watcher 2, like, probably was a little out of pocket, workplace harassment, slightly stalker in love with Watcher 2. He lives in the same universe as Jas and was recruited into the Alliance by Lana. I think eventually he found Watcher 2 and they got married and had babies, at least that's how he thinks it's going to go.

Te'Jal - TJ is Ruest's sister. She's Pirate Queen of Port Nowhere. She'll help out the Alliance, for a price, though she's quite content to sit on her mountains of credits. TJ and Jas are buddies! Don't know how they met or why they're so close, but they're lovely together.

Sao'la - My sweet little Sith. Precious mouse. She exists in her own universe because she's just occupies too much space in my brain right now to share it with anyone. She's not the Commander. She did her thing in the sith warrior story and then kind of fucked off until Arcann showed up. She never made Darth. She's just too good and everyone kind of realizes she's not really Sith material! But she's a fucking badass and fights for the Empire and her family is super rich so whatever she's the main character. She loved Quinn fiercely, but I dunno, I don't things ever really recovered after The Incident and then after Another Incident. She found Theron (or Theron found her) and they had a thing that wasn't supposed to be serious, but then it kind of was?

Hat Yai - He's a Chiss bounty hunter named after food. There wasn't a whole lot going on but then I bought him a cool Mando outfit and he and Mako are just so adorable together. He tries really hard to be a good guy for her, but man the bounty hunting thing is a rough business. He's still chugging through the main story, but I don't think he's Commander material. Probably like TJ, he just sits on his piles of credits and does jobs for whoever pays.

Pekk - Ok so Pekk is still in the molding phase. She started out as a Cathar named after my cat to romance Jorgen, but then I got so many amazing flirts and conversations with Jonas that now I have this whole Cadet on temporary duty with the SIS and a little summer love affair with Jonas and then they meet again after she's in Havoc story rotating in my brain. I also really love how every conversation with Jorgan about the Deadeyes is "oh, we could ask Jonas!" and he's just like "UUGGGGHHH You and your stupid spy boyfriend." Pekk literally only exists in this very small time frame lol.

Jebamee - Darth Noxxxxx the wretched. Cruel squid head. She's just there to pick the absolute worst option. I skipped as far as I could with her after the main inquisitor story was over so she's not the Commander. She was probably hanging out on DK and Nar Shaddaaa subjugating people and running her little cult. She had the romance with the pirate, but Darth Rivix has piqued her interest now! (Sao'la HATES Rivix. She's so annoyed by him just being around.)

Oscasito - Man slut smuggler. He will always pick the easy way out, especially if it ends up with more dollary doos. Does he love Risha? Maybe? He REALLY loves that she's a Princess. Really doesn't understand why she just doesn't marry the guy that wants to make her Queen, they can still be fuck buddies. Hell, King guy can join in! My man is not picky.

#swtor #my currently baked or cooking oc's #i wanted to make this post with pictures but i'm kind of lazy #there are some others but they're even more raw on the inside #jasati #sao'la #ruest #te'jal #aqilah #jebamee #pekk #oscasito #hat yai #think this is going to replace the masterlist as the pinned post cuz i don't update that thing at all lmao

[lunaprincipessa]

ENTRY EIGHTY-SIX

Valentine's Day is coming up. Another year celebrating this holiday single. Kinda in limbo this time around. Not feeling any particular way about it. Lots of times though, single friends will hit me up wondering what I'm doing. I tend to keep myself busy.

I think it's a part of being human to want to be with someone special on February 14th. Nothing wrong with it! But sometimes, I notice people may not know what to do with themselves if the loneliness and sadness reaches a point where it's overwhelming. Not passing judgment, "takes one to know one."

I get it. Definitely been there before! You feel there is nothing in life and you also feel there is nothing in life to look forward to. Feelings of emptiness and hopelessness linger around you like a vulture waiting to feed. You desperately cry out to the Universe for a sign that you're not forgotten, then you're met with silence and still with no sign to be seen, or heard, or felt. And so, in the midst of breaking down and feeling worthless and unwanted, you have to somehow summon up the strength to comfort yourself alone. Believe me, I get it.

That being said, I wanted to share a list of things to get into if this holiday is gonna be rough or has the potential to be.

1.) Who says you have to celebrate at all? Ignore it, or blow it off purposely doing something else or even nothing. Not a federal holiday where everything gets closed down, life can continue on as normal on this day. It will be what you make it.

2.) If you really want a Valentine, it is not limited to dates and significant others. Your kids, friends, relatives, pets, and coworkers can all serve as examples. If you feel there isn't anyone or everyone is busy, gift a random Valentine to someone you know could use some kindness. A good deed like that will make you feel fulfilled.

3.) Since we're discussing different ways to go about Valentine's, consider starting a new tradition in your household. Do whatever ya like, include whoever ya want.

4.) Hobbies! Sharpening skills! Get started on something new or restart something you've been neglecting. The sense of accomplishment will help.

5.) Shows and movies, and might I suggest two key factors: (1.) Binge, especially if it's something you love or something you need to catch up on. (2.) "Laughter is medicine for the soul," as they say. Watch comedy!

6.) Make a plan for manifestation. Just because you're currently single, doesn't mean you can't plan for the future. Lots of people decide what kind of home or outfit they want before actually getting one. Same process here. Work on getting a clear vision of the type of relationship you want to have if you feel making a plan for the future won't make you feel bad or worse.

7.) If all else fails and you can't find a Valentine, I know a place where you can look and it's always guaranteed that you'll find one there. The mirror! Last time I checked, you're a person too. Pamper yourself! Spoil yourself! I'm single and I just dropped $45 on some ginormous chocolate-covered strawberries. FTW!

8.) Music is life baby! I can't even begin to describe all the ways music has gotten me through some very hard times. Make yourself a playlist to listen to. Any kind of playlist you want! You can listen in while relaxing, cleaning, bathing, studying, etc.

9.) Dive into your spirituality or your religion. I don't care what you believe in. It will be the most comforting and most uplifting distraction from loneliness ever. You won't feel so alone anymore, promise.

10.) Cook! Blowing off the holiday, trying to celebrate it, I couldn't care less. Cooking can soothe stress and build self-esteem in many individuals. Plus, cooking a healthy meal in itself can be good for your mental health as foods like chicken, fish, and eggs have lean proteins to help with general functioning of the brain and nervous system. In addition, foods like whole grains, fruits, and vegetables can offer some mood-boosting doses of serotonin and dopamine.

11.) Exercise: the most underused and underestimated anti-depressant ever! While the exact link between exercise and depression is actually still being investigated, the physical activity will ease the symptoms and have you feeling better in no time. And I think I remember being told a while back that exercise tends to hit reward receptors in the brain. Makes sense because that's how it feels. It feels good and ya wanna keep going!

12.) Exploring areas of town that are new to you will replace the lonely feelings with curiosity and a sense of adventure. Look up the history of the property you're on and take photos!

13.) Offer to pick up a work shift or babysit for a couple that wants to go out. If you don't wanna celebrate, all well and fine, but you can still take advantage of the opportunity to make some extra cash.

14.) Utilize coping skills. Maybe it isn't just a matter of not finding a date or being single. Maybe at the heart of it all is trauma or social anxiety disorder. Life isn't always easy for those of us dealing with those types of things. Coping skills and reaching out will help tremendously.

I conclude with memes that have tips about how to release happy chemicals in the brain to give people more ideas of how to go about their Valentine's Day more positively and productively despite being single.

Best of luck to all of us out there. And may those of us who have never been loved right find happiness someday. 💗

More thoughts later.

#Valentines Day #Single on Valentines Day #Love is everywhere because it's within you

[benefits1986]

Better Stories Incoming

In line with training my protein and Vitamin D-deficient social muscles, let's let better stories march in, yes?

It's my last day for a leave and I'd like to start it with trying to share as much new stories that are worthwhile. It's not gonna be easy as I'm usually housed in my tiny Manila home, but, I guess that it's gonna make RTO better and more manageable. Also trying to be more at peace with city life that's obviously here to stay for the next three years. Tiny house outside Manila will be my delulu halfway house for roadtrips and food trips, so, I think that works, too.

January 1 started strong with two stories from my purple people which really caught me off guard. Been doing household chores and errands since we're adulting, too.

I missed a few calls from a good friend and asked her what's up. She usually calls when she's in Manila, BGC to be exact and wants to hang out and/or has an SOS. I asked her what's up because I'm kinda on my toes for the past days about her. She called back and I was greeted by her French tip nails with a ring on her finger. She's officially engaged to her boyfriend. I had no reaction at first and was thinking if I wanna cry since their love story is a curious one. I didn't go there. The BF is Spanish and can't speak Tagalog yet, so the conversation was kinda strained. LOL.

When I finally understood the purpose of the call, I congratulated them. My intuition has been telling me that this is coming last December so instead of the usual kamusta, I asked my friend to make sure that her nails are always spot on. Nakining naman. Hahahahaha. I've been praying for this couple since Day Zero. When they started dating, my friend has been updating me about the ganaps and as a silent fan girl no matter what, I cheered for her to just let it happen. HAHAHAHAHA. Lowkey lang talaga ang galawan, ang support, walang bakas online ako kasi nga people will always say things naman, so whatever. :p I told my friend that I've got her and even when I need to lobby this to her parents, push. Hahahaha. Ganung levels ng ganaps kasi nga, you know, her parentals are booming and bombing. 'Pag kinamusta ako kung anong balita sa anak nila, I usually say: Malaki na po and of age anak ninyo, tito. Kaya na po niya sarili niya. Hihihihi. Tiwala lang.

I remember "approving" and "recommending" edits and slants for her lowkey captions when they were still dating. HAHAHAHA. Borderline enabler talaga ako because true love knows no fear HOWEVER, lowkey is the key, after all... always. No hard launch unless sure na... 'yan sabi ko sa kanya. LELS. So every time she'd post a run, a hike, a bike, alam na kung ano ganap at sino kasama. 'Di ako kilig actually during their dating season kasi I'm looking after my friend since she's a hopeless romantic and it's her first time to have a serious relationship, kaya super duper alalay mode ako sa kanya pero not toxic kasi nga, mabait na ako. :p Plus, dasal levels namin dito is 100000000000000.

There'd be too many times when she'd ask why things happen that way and all I'd say is: Ganyan talaga. Keep at it. Kung 'di mag-work, e 'di move on; but darling, what if you fly? CHOZ. These convos spanned across the universe for about 2 or 3 years, I think.

As a fan of showbiz and Kardashians and Taylor siya, this expat friend wants photos and videos of her ganaps, even her engagement. Syempre, pinakita sa akin photos when the BF went down on one knee. Sappy, corny, pero, OK. Ginalingan... just the way my friend likes it. Audience lang naman ako. In fairness, sa nails lang talaga ako focused kasi 'di maganda natural nails ni friend ko. LOL. Bonus: Teal pa color ng nails niya sa engagement. :p

Hindi rin ako kinilig sa news kasi for me, dapat lang naman ma-engage sila noh. Hahahahahaha. Since we're of prime age and the goal of dating nung friend ko is to marry and not to fucking play around, sabi ko talaga: Please Lord, eto na dapat 'yun kasi anong petsa na, right? Please lang. As in. Paki gawaan na ng paraan. Lord, unahin mo muna love life neto. If meron for me, prio mo ko next. Eto kasing friend ko, ang daming gusto na timebound. Ako naman, bahala ka na lang after matawid 'yung kaniya. HAHAHAHAHA. Side Note: Since matandang dalaga a number of my small circle, believe it or not, when I pray, inuuna ko talaga 'yung mga sobrang prio nila sa listahan ang makasal agad at magkaanak before the eggs expire. Hahahaha. Seryoso 'yan a, lalo when it involves crying ng mga decent single women na kulang na lang talaga e lalaking magmamahal sa kanila ng todo at totoo. LOLOLL. Me: Lord, okay naman akong maghintay PLUS syempre, etong mga 'to e kailangang dumaan sa mga basic level muna ng relationship bago mapadpad sa advanced level, so, I'm willing to wait; even kinda late. LUH. Hahahahahaha. Shemay.

So, answered prayer for January 1 tayo real slow and steady. This side of me is pretty much undetectable because I'm guarding my hidden heart from intruders who'd fuck my giver self hard, to be honest. However, this news is walang salag in as far as true love knows no fear and boundaries, talaga. :) It's not even about how big and solid the diamond is though I can't unsee. Hahahahaha. Kaya pala todo tipid 'tong BF niya sa gifts sa kanya nung mga nakaraang celebrations nila. HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI. Syempre, nagulat kami nung friend ko kasi 'di naman mahilig BF niya sa gifts na bongga. Gusto niya meaningful which I really like kasi my friend buys too much stuff na. :p 'Yung too much levels na ako na mismo nagpipigil sa kanya pero coping strategy niya 'yun 'pag stress siya sa work with matching approval from me at times especially when pop of color is involved. Tawang-tawa nga ako kasi pati ako ba naman, laging may: Mamsh, gusto mo? Me: PHP po ako, ikaw HKD with gingko biloba. Lubayan mo ako. Alis. Hahahahaha. As a lakas-maka shalang career woman who's rocking her expat life, being her beau is not easy. Workaholic 'to e; pero she really made time and effort for her relationship to take center stage. Syempre, todo adjustments sa work flow niyang 'di umaayaw forda BGC condo and forda bills in life; but, sabi ko nga: If you want things to pan out well, mag-effort ka. Itodo mo pero mag-tira ka rin for yourself, just in case shit hits the pan.

And we're here and now. :) They're a solid step closer to her version of Endgame na. Wala na rin akong biglaang visits sa Pinas whereas dahil stressed siya, biglang may flight kami kung saan para lang mag-bonding kami ng todo. Hahahaha. Eto pa isa sa dasal ko kasi super duper clingy 'tong friend ko na 'to: Lord, bigyan mo siya ng travel buddy na, partner in crime all the way pa. Please. Para maka-exit frame na ako bilang napaka moody and clingy netong taong ito.

May ilang flights and trips kaming out of budget ko talaga kasi mhie, marami po tayong inaasikaso. Nag-away pa kami at times kasi nga, she'll shoulder all expenses paid levels and sabi ko naman: Too generous pero i-save mo na lang 'yan for your next designer buys. HAHAHHAHA. Medyo may FO na legit levels na rin kami lalo nung nasa Palawan ako and birthday celeb niya na ako lang wala. :p Sabi ko naman na we planned everything na so kahit wala ako doon, it's fine. Nagalit ba naman ng malala. Simple lang naman daw ng wish niya and she knows I like trips. Nagalit din ako kasi nga, 'wag ako kasi ayoko pang bumalik sa Manila. Hahahahahaha.

And sooooo, here we go, 2024! Patuloy mo akong gulatin, please? Also, more reasons to keep my weight and work-hustles under control because two weddings are gonna come late this year or early next year na agad-agad, January 2 pa lang. Woohoo. ;) Sana December wedding na 'di makakaabala sa mga leaves ko or -ber para 'di mainit, unless beach wedding 'tong mga 'to na sana maganda ang sunset and may full moon party involved. LOL. Daming gusto noh? Abangan!

[adamgant]

147: Ditching the all or nothing mentality with Ali Shapiro

147: Ditching the “all or nothing” mentality with Ali Shapiro https://ift.tt/T6ENDwy Today, I’m so excited to welcome Ali Shapiro to the podcast! Here’s what we talk about in today’s episode: – Her health and wellness background – The “all or nothing” mentality -The importance of flexibility for maintaining long-term consistency   147: Ditching the “all or nothing” mentality with Ali Shapiro Ali is the host of the top-ranked podcast Insatiable, a holistic nutritionist, integrated health coach, and rebel with a serious cause. She’s academically, practically, and empathetically aware of how the medical system, diet culture, and body positivity movements all have their own flavor of crazy. Ali developed TRUCE while in graduate school at the University of Pennsylvania, where she drew from her 17+ years of working with real life clients and her own personal healing journey from emotional eating and having cancer as a teenager. Ali’s work and clients’ unique success has been featured in well + Good, mindbodygreen, Prevention, Women’s Health and Forbes, as well as industry leading podcasts Being Boss, Tell Me Something True, and Food Heaven. Follow Ali on Instagram and check out her website here.  More resources from this episode: I love love love the meals from Sakara Life! Use this link and the code XOGINAH for 20% off their meal delivery and clean boutique items. This is something I do once a month as a lil treat to myself and the meals are always showstoppers. If any of my fellow health professional friends are looking for another way to help their clients, I highly recommend IHP. You can also use this information to heal yourself and then go one to heal others, which I think is a beautiful mission. You can absolutely join if you don’t currently work in the health or fitness industry; many IHPs don’t begin on this path. They’re friends who are passionate to learn more about health and wellness, and want to share this information with those they love. You can do this as a passion, or start an entirely new career. You can use my referral link here and the code FITNESSISTA for up to $250 off the Integrative Health Practitioner program. I highly recommend it! You can check out my review IHP Level 1 here and my review of Level 2 here. I’m still obsessed with my sauna blanket. This is one of my favorite ways to relax and sweat it out. I find that it energizes me, helps with aches and pains, I sleep better on the days I use this, and it makes my skin glow. Link to check it out here. You can also use my discount FITNESSISTA15 for the PEMF Go Mat, which I use every day, and the red light face mask, which is a staple in my weekly skincare routine. Get 20% off Organifi with the code FITNESSISTA. I drink the green juice, red juice, gold, and Harmony! (Each day I might have something different, or have two different things. Everything I’ve tried is amazing.) Thank you so much for listening and for all of your support with the podcast! Please be sure to subscribe, and leave a rating or review if you enjoyed this episode. If you leave a rating, head to this page and you’ll get a little “thank you” gift from me to you.  The post 147: Ditching the “all or nothing” mentality with Ali Shapiro appeared first on The Fitnessista. via The Fitnessista https://ift.tt/IGV3XsF December 21, 2023 at 01:45PM

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