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eleyras · 5 months

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About narratives: the story of Sarcean, Anharion and the Collar.

Ok soooooo I finished Dark Heir and I have THOUGHTS.

This could be my delusional mind speaking BUT I firmly believe that the whole thing about the Collar and the relationship between Sarcy and Anharion depicted in the story written and established by the winners (the Lady's faction) and Gauthier is far from the truth and a lot more complex and fascinating.

More ramblings under the cut!

Putting all the hints given in DH aside for the moment (I will discuss them later) for me the biggest red flag about these narratives is the way Anharion is depicted in both.

This is a little twisted but it’s something I’ve been thinking about since DR, so let me elaborate.

In DR, the Stewards DON’T know about the Collar. James himself admits that he found out about it from Sinclair, and so the Stewards are convinced that James/Anharion had willingly betrayed the Lady’s side, becoming willingly Sarcean’s lieutenant and his lover.

Gauthier instead reveals a more twisted version of the story.

It’s clear that the two narratives are in contradiction with each other: the one told by the Lady’s faction and echoed throughout the centuries among the Stewards doesn’t include the knowledge of the Collar, and it entirely blames Anharion for his deeds and his betrayal; Gauthier’s version instead, serving for the readers as an introduction to the existence of the Collar, specifies that Anharion didn’t have any agency.

So, which version is the true one? Neither of them, because both, as it often happens in history, took the truth, and twisted it to serve its own purpose.

Let’s start with the narrative ‘written’ by the Lady.

My biggest doubt about it is why the f*ck it seems that A LOT of people outside the Hall know about the Collar. Gauthier knows about it because his ancestor was the one who stole it, but Sinclair? Let’s hypothesize that he knew about it from Kettering. Kettering knows about it because he is a Returner, so someone who was THERE, in the Old World. It’s not a stretch then to theorize that the existence of the Collar and its power was somehow known in the past.

And in DH, the presence of the chain attached to the throne in the Sun Court, where EVERYONE could see it, hypothetically ( and I underline this because I don’t trust ANYTHING of what we saw in the Undahar for it was the Sun King’s court before Sarcean’s) linked to the Collar around Anharion’s neck, makes me think that the Collar and its power weren’t such a well-kept secret.

So, the whole “the Lady’s side didn’t absolutely know about the Collar” narrative is a bit sketchy at this point. I believe someone knew at some point, so why would they iterate this version of the story, instead of depicting Anharion as a victim and blaming Sarcean for it?

Well, the answer is simple: damnatio memoriae. The version of the story known at this point had been written by the Lady’s faction, so of course her enemies are painted in the worst light possible. Anharion’s memory is, in my opinion, even more tainted by this narrative than Sarcean’s one; we don’t even know his true name. It didn’t matter that he could have had reasons for his actions: he went against the "good side" and chose the dark, the end.

This narrative is not interested in reporting the truth. Its purpose is to celebrate the Lady as a Saint figure and vilify her opponents, disregarding their reasons, their feelings, their insight of the events entirely.

So, it’s not so difficult to believe that underneath all the twists and the lies, in this version of the story there is a grain of truth; that, in a way, Anharion did betray willingly the Lady. Maybe he understood that the so righteous Lady was, in fact, not that pure and good. Maybe, at the culmination of the fight, he somehow hesitated to kill Sarcean, because he was a human being, not just a cold hearted betrayer. All factors that would of course be excluded from this narrative, for they would expose the Lady’s true face.

At this point this is all but speculations, but one thing is certain, and this takes us to the second point: it’s canon that Anharion had feelings for Sarcy. Before the Collar.

I would not call it ‘undying love’ at this point of the story, but the affection is there. Palpable, visible, corporeal in glances and words. This is, like, a HUGE revelation.

Because this proves that the narrative told by Gauthier is not the truth either!

While I believe that the Collar has some kind of power (I’ll explain this too), in the Gauthier’s version of the story, it’s clear that the emphasis on the submitting part of this power comes from the desire to possess Anharion, from the (false) conviction passed on for generations that whoever put it around his neck would master him. I suspect it consumed not only Gauthier himself, but also every member of his family who owned the Collar before him.

In the end both narratives, pushing for their own agenda, give an insight on the relationship between Sarcean and Anharion not only false but also humiliating for Anharion, for he is depicted as a selfish, cold hearted betrayer where his own agency is totally dismissed (and not even mentioned) in one, and a plaything slave of the Collar in the other.

The truth is far more complex than this, of course, and the one million dollar question about it is then: how much influence did have the Collar on the true nature of their relationship?

In these days I have read a lot of theories about this. One of my favourites is the one depicting the Collar as a mere object of fashion without any power and Anharion not only conscious but also willing the whole time and the fact that this may be hinted in the text makes me feel unhinged (if this is true, you will hear me screaming about it for years)

In my opinion, and I will believe this until I read the third book, the Collar has some kind of power on James/Anharion but not in the way it has been described so far. This is but a mere speculation for the moment, but maybe this power leans more on binding Anharion’s magic to Sarcean’s than controlling his free will or feelings. (this bit in DH is soooo interesting!!!)

I’m convinced that the Collar cannot create something that is not there and that underneath its power, it’s clear that Anharion had conflicted feelings for Sarcean, he always had, because James REMEMBERS feeling this even with the Collar:

This means those conflicted feelings are still there and are not magically morphed by the Collar into pure and simple obedience and that whatever Anharion felt was real, whatever James feels is real, contradictions and all.

We still know so little about this two at this point, and since Pacat really loves plot twists, I believe that their real story will come out in the end and that Will and James will achieve what their past selves couldn’t had, unravelling the conflicts and the misunderstandings between them, and conquering the freedom they search in each other’s arms to be just Will and James.

I had fun writing this, please feel free to give me your opinion on this!

(PS. I think I needed to specify that this whole rambling is focused on Anharion’s feelings. What about Sarcy? I believe his feelings were a deadly cocktail of desire, affection, possessiveness, admiration and horny thoughts, like the disaster babygirl he was, thanks for your attention)

#the way false narratives are utilized in this series is soooo good I could speak about this for months #Pacat your mind!!!!!#i wrote this at 2am please forgive me if you find errors #dark heir #dark heir spoilers

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starxscream · 3 years

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I wrote this at 2am if theres any spelling or grammatical errors no there isnt<3

Anyways. Vague ass Mirko and Chilly lore moments

"Aw c'mon bud, talk to me! It was just a lil joke!"

Snow crunches beneath the duo's feet, the shorter stomping ahead angrily while the taller lags behind, calling out to him.

There's no response from the shorter snowman, just an angry huff.

"Slavaaaaa pleaaaase forgive meeee…" The taller pathetically whines, shoulders slumping and dragging his feet through the snow.

There is still only silence. The taller snowman sighs to himself, head tilting to the side, watching Slava stomp forwards towards their destination.

"Slava…" He takes a deep breath, his face falling, picking up his pace to try and catch up to the other snowman, "I'm sorry okay? It was just a prank 'n if I took it too far I'm sorry."

There's a brief moment that Slava hesitates, glancing back behind him for a mere second before rolling his eyes and turning away.

"I mean it Slava." He finally catches up to the shorter snowman, hand slipping to cover Slava's and hold him in place. "You're my best friend. I wouldn't hurt you on purpose, so please tell me what's wrong." A smile works it's way back onto his face, "I'll keep annoying you till you do anyways so it'd quit while you're ahead. Can't get rid of me that easily!"

The stomping comes to a stomp at his admittance, Slava remaining still while the other continues to speak. A hand briefly moves to tug a scarf up further along his face, but the tell-tale sign of a faint blush laces his cheeks, other hand squeezing the other's just a bit tighter.

"...It's fine. I forgive you Mirko." Finally mumbling out a few words, Slava continues to not look at his friend directly, flustered.

Mirko's smile grows wider, moving his hand from Slava's to wrap around the smaller shoulders and pull Slava into him. There's a soft 'oomph', Mirko leaning down to wrap his arms around the smaller snowman.

"Slaaaavaaaaa you're so niiiiiiice…" He dramatically drawls before laughing, Slava's flush worsening yet not entirely resisting being pulled around.

The laughter stops, "I mean it though." Mirko's smile gets softer, "Dunno what I'd do without ya! You really are my best friend."

There's a scoff from Slava, "Well my best friend is the peace and quiet at home." He quips, trying not to let Mirko see the smile working on his face.

"OGH- I'm wounded Slava, truly wounded, my best friend leaving me out to melt-" Mirko dramatically exclains, faking betrayal before snorting. Slava unable to keep in his giggles.

Mirko keeps an arm around Slava, the other making grand gestures as he continues to speak and laugh. Slava snorted right along with him and showed no intent of pulling away. Completely comfortable with each other.

There is a brief moment.

Mirko looking down at his smaller friend.

Speaking words, genuine from the heart, yet without thinking.

"I can promise you now Slava, I'll be by your side till the very end."

Knowing they'd be together forever.

---

"Sl-Slava…?" Mirko weakly calls, head throbbing in agony. Sight dark and empty, unable to see anything in a muddled haze.

The whole world spun, Mirko's entire body aching in agony, lacking the strength to pull himself to his feet.

"Slava!" Mirko calls again, hands feeling around in the snow, trying to find his friend. "Where are you!?" Panic rising in his voice.

He knew his eyes were open.

But why couldn't he see?

Why was everything so dark?

Why…

Why wasn't...Slava answering him?

A sob threatens to rise in Mirko's throat, using every ounce of strength left in his being letting out strangled cries out for his friend.

Crying out for the person in the world he cared about most.

Blind hands feeling for him, dragging his broken body across the ground. Where. Where. Where.

"SLAVA! PLEASE!" He cries. Hand falling onto a slope he could not see, stumbling forward and rolling down the hill until slamming into a tree. Mirko screeched in pain, slumping over into the snow.

Finally, the sobs rip from his throat, unable to bring himself to move any further.

"Slava…" A pathetic whine.a

"Please- please come back."

"Please Slava- please don't leave me."

#sugars sweet treats #cadenza #mirko #chilly #slava is what mirko exclusively calls him #these snowmen make me sad wahoo #im going to bed now #ask 2 tag

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syven-siren · 5 years

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His God Is A Woman

A/N: Just a little piece about the reader’s and Michael Langdon’s adoration for one another. Inspired by Ariana Grande’s ‘God is a Woman’. I encourage you to listen to it as you read this. I wrote this at 2am yesterday when I couldn’t sleep so please forgive any grammar errors or complete nonsense lol. Also, this is my first writing piece ever on Tumblr! Woohoo! It’s been years (about 5) since I’ve written anything for a creative purpose. I really want to get back into it. It’s probably not a strong writing piece but I’m going to try to improve. If anyone has or knows of a good prompt list to challenge me in writing, please feel free to message me or send me an “ask”. Thanks!

Feedback is always appreciated.

Tagging: @squirrelacorngliterfarts (Thank you for your support! ☺️🙈)

You, you love it how I move you You love it how I touch you My one, when all is said and done You'll believe God is a woman And I, I feel it after midnight A feelin' that you can't fight My one, it lingers when we're done You'll believe God is a woman

No sound reverberates through the vacant halls as you make your way to Michael’s office. Those residing in the Sanctuary have gone to bed long ago. The chill of the marble floors makes you wish you had slipped on the discarded heels by your bedroom door. As you enter his office, you take note of the folders and files haphazardly strewn about the room; the white papers contrasting the dark wood that furnishes his office. You find he is slumped in his leather lounge chair savoring a glass of fine alcohol. His hand grip the glass tightly revealing the stress of the day. Leaning against the door as you close it, you attempt to calm your heart. Your eagerness to be near him is as strong as ever. It is as if your body is drawn towards him like a magnet. The tingle of knowing he is so close leaves your limbs feeling weak.

With the soft click of the door, Michael peers up at you as if only just noticing your presence in the room. In an instant, your body is lit ablaze with desire. Shifting your weight, you try to find some friction between your thighs. You seek a release which only he can grant. The effect this man has on you seems otherworldly but then again Michael Langdon is no ordinary man. From the beginning of his campaign to create a new world, he has had an aura of authority and confidence about him. He can have any person he wants yet somehow he has chosen you. You feel honored to be gifted his love and affection. If only you knew how much he craves you. If only you knew how he is always in awe of how you love him unconditionally.

I don't wanna waste no time, yuh You ain't got a one-track mind, yuh Have it any way you like, yuh And I can tell that you know I know how I want it Ain't nobody else can relate Boy, I like that you ain't afraid Baby, lay me down and let's pray I'm tellin' you the way I like it, how I want it

His blue eyes lock with yours as he runs his thumb over the crystal glass held within his grasp. His gaze flows along the black silk robe which clings to your body. He can’t help but appreciate how it has slipped off your shoulder to expose the thin strap of your bra. He admires how your skin is flushed whether it be from the cold or knowing you were in the presence of your lover. To him, you are ethereal. A masterpiece to be honored.

And I can be all the things you told me not to be (Yuh) When you try to come for me, I keep on flourishing (Yuh) And he see the universe when I'm the company It's all in me

As you come to halt in front of him, you wait for him to make the next move. He leans back in the chair allowing you space to sit in his lap. You sit straddling him. He places the glass on the table next to the chair but his hands are not unoccupied for long. Soon, the robe is untied and hanging loosely at your sides. It leaves you exposed to his curious eyes. Your body adorned in black lace is almost too much for his self-control. His vision rakes over your body longingly as if trying to imprint the beauty of you to his mind forever. His hands caress the sides of your thighs. Slowly, they slide towards your waist. The trail of his touch leaves your skin burning in excitement. The chill of his rings doing nothing to relieve you of the heat coursing throughout your body.

His hands find their way to your back drawing you close to him. Flush against each other, you can feel him. You suck in a ragged breath. The sensation of finally being near him causes your eyes to close in satisfaction. It’s overwhelming. A simple action turns you into a complete mess. No man will ever affect you the way Michael does. Your hips move on their own. Grinding to feel him against you. Your back arches leaving no space, no gap, between the two of you. His fingertips ghost over the side of your neck to the outline of your jaw and finally to your lips. He is marveled at the sight of you.

He wants to know every peak and valley of your body. He wants it seared into his brain for all time. The feel of you is like an addiction; one he will never be able to overcome. You open your eyes in time to meet his gaze again. These are the moments he craves. The ones where the two of you are alone in the silence of your love for each other. In these moments, he can express his gratitude for your loyalty. He brings your face closer to seal the final gap between the two of you. When your lips finally touch his, it is a further indication you were created just for him. You both fit perfectly together. And when you finally part, his look is one of reverence. He can’t help but question if you are truly real or just a figment of his imagination. If you are just a mere mirage, he hopes you stay forever.

He may be the anti-christ but he will worship you until the end of this life and into the next. His queen. His god.

The individual images are not mine unless stated otherwise. Credit for all individual images belongs to the original owners. The mood board/collages are mine. Please give credit if you are using my moodboards/images/collages. Thank you!

#michael langdon #michael langdon mood #michael langdon x reader #michael langdon x y/n #michael langdon x you #michael langdon moodboard #god is a woman #song fic #reader insert #ahs apocalypse #ahs #my first writing #michael langdon aesthetic #michael langdon kink #ahs x reader #syven siren writes #michael langdon drabble #michael langdon imagine

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dearmybts · 6 years

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Shy |Part 1|

Word Count: 4k+

Genre: Future smut+ Fluff+ Angst (a little bit) Dom, Dancers AU! Park Jimin!

Summary: It’s hard being in the big city trying to make it big but when you meet the guy who’s supposed to be your cute, mysterious neighbor (Park Jimin) at your dance meeting what’s going to happen? Who really is Park Jimin?

A/N: I’m sorry I went on a long hiatus but I’m back! By the way I wrote this at 2am so forgive me if there’s any errors.

Moblie Masterlist

|Part 2|

“Y/N spin faster! Why are you so slow?” The dance coach furrows her eyebrows frustrated at the scene that unraveled before her.

“Faster, faster, faster!” she yells as her face turns blossom red and the vein that lays underneath her jawline threatened to pop. You spin as fast as you could as your toes screaming for you to stop before they give in. You bite your lips attacking the nerves that lay within them to hold in your rampant of pain. The music serenade as you dance to the beats twirling and jumping to satisfied the woman leaning against the wall.

One twirl, two steps, three jumps until your muscles cramped in a senseless way and finally it betrayed you. In a second, you fell to the ground twisting your left ankle in the process. The pain hit you the moment you see the red tint of color forming on your ankle. Your coach rushed over instantly taking a look at your injury. Her eyes narrowed at the small bruised, she stood up and let out a long sigh.

“If you keep this up, you’ll never be ready. You won’t ever be good enough to play the main part in this play. I suggest you give up now before it’s too late.” Her words made your eyes widen as you turn your head to disagree. Your hands supporting you as you stand up to plead for another chance.

You knew that your performances have been lacking and you’ve been practicing nonstop to get better but you just couldn’t. Your coach has always been hard on you and ever since you were picked to be the main female dancer in the new project, she put more pressure on you. You cursed under your breath, not at her but yourself for not being able to be a better dancer.

“I can work harder, I swear.” You grabbed her arms with pleading eyes earning a glared from the woman. You swallowed the tears that threatened to fall and the pain that still burns and whispers perilous warnings to you. Her face fell to a concern expression, wondering if she can hold onto your verbal promises or not.

“I can do it, please coach.” Your fingers pressed harder onto her skin and you knew that this could be your chance for a big break or the end of your dancing career. You knew it was hard work and you knew that you had to give up many things but you didn’t care and you definitely wouldn’t let any small injury stop you from being the star on the big stage.

You watch as she stifled out a sigh and walked to the back of the room packing her belongings.

“We’re done for today. You have to be able to keep up with this or you’ll really lose your spot. We’re meeting the male main dancer tomorrow, be ready"

Without another word, she exits the room and you finally collapse to the ground. Deep sighs left your lips as you wipe your sweaty cheeks. You have to do better to secure your role that was every dancer’s dream. To be on a big stage grabbing every one attention and mesmerizing them with your dance.

It was your dream since you were a little girl and you gave up a lot to be here. You left home to be in this strange and large city knowing no one and having no connections. You gave up meals to save money for art school and to pay rent. You gave up being with your loved ones back at home to be here. Now that you finally have the chance to make your parents proud, you wouldn’t let it slip through your fingers that easily.

You walk down the street of the old neighborhood as the city lights start to flickers. The apartment building that you somehow manage to find lay a couple blocks away. The cool wind blows on your bare legs as you stand in front of the multi-apartment building. You remembered when you first saw it through a flyer. You had just arrived at this city, just hopping off the bus you saw the advertising poster pinned to the walls at the bus station.

It’s a bit old but not too shabby plus it fits in your small budget. It was close to the art academy you got into and the neighbors are old folks that lived there for years or students who can’t afford something better like you.

“Hey Y/N!” A voice snapped you back to reality grabbing all of your attention, you can recognize this voice anywhere.

“Hey Jimin” You turned around to greet the tall figure giving him a little smile.

“Tough day?” he returned with his warm one that made yours wider before he grabbed the handle of the door and opened it to let you in.

“Thank you and somewhat..” You let out a small sigh before pressing the button of the elevator.

Park Jimin, your cute neighbor next door that you befriend with after so many times of awkward greetings in front of your apartment. You don’t know anything about the guy but every time you see him your conversation last a little longer, and the air you swear is different when he’s around lingering around you more.

He comes home as late as you and wakes up earlier than the sun. Maybe that’s why you always bump into him. His hair disheveled from waking up and forgetting to brush sometimes humor you but you also thought that it was cute. Sometimes you would catch a pair of eyes looking your way late night when you go out on the balcony next to his for some air. He’s quite a reserve, don’t really talk about himself much. He always asks about you and everything he does is gentle.

A gentle voice, gentle gestures, gentle expressions but you always wondered if he’s hiding his aggressiveness somewhere underneath that flawless skin. You always wondered if his little nice guy image was just a front to fool people.

You knew that would do you no good but you sometimes just let your fantasy run wild. About his thick thighs that defines through his tight black jeans, the veins that runs from his hands to his forearms, his pale neck that display a salivating view every time he leans his head back as he stroke his hair or the sweat absorbed hair that stick to his forehead when he come home out of breath late night.

It sure wasn’t healthy for you to have these thoughts every time you see him. It just heats your cheeks up in crimson red and the worse part is you knew he notices.

“If you need anything, you can always talk to me. I’m just next door” He said as he walks beside you to your door.

“Yeah, I know. Thank you"

Your eyes find his face as his eyes crinkle up in a crescent shape. A wide smile as he takes a step closer to you. He leaned down forwards to your face making your heart skip a beat. He lifted an arm up to pick out a piece of small leaf that tangles in your hair. A step backward chuckling as he covers his mouth with the back of his hand. A gesture that always mesmerizes you and his laugh that always made you lightly chuckles along.

“Goodnight Y/N” Was the last thing he said before he entered his apartment. Left still in a haze, you finally let off the breath of air that you didn’t know you held in the whole time.

You woke up to the sound of the alarm clock ringing in your ears. Your eyes snapped open to check the time.

8:30 AM

“Shit” you cursed.

You were supposed to meet your coach and the male dancer in the practice room at 9 AM. Realizing you were going to be late, you picked yourself up and ran to the bathroom.

Putting on a pair of Jet black legging and a thin tight basic black shirt as you shove a toothbrush in your mouth. You pulled your untamed bed hair in a messy bun trying to look as presentable as possible. You didn’t want to leave a bad impression on the person you’ll be working with every day.

“Dammit!” You cursed as the elevator door rings. You ran out the open door towards your practice room 15 minutes late … great!

You took a deep breath and open the door of the room ready to be yell by your coach.

“I’m so sorry” Your head hangs low as you apologize. Your gaze stayed on the floor as silent of conversation washed over you.

“Y/N come over here and meet your partner. You’re already late, you don’t want to be any ruder” Your coach stern voice reaches your ears as you slowly bringing your eyes to meet the person in front of you.

Your eyes widen as you meet contact with the familiar figure.

“J-Jimin?” You asked in shock.

“Hey Y/N” Jimin smiled as his crescent-shaped eyes confirmed you that you’re not dreaming.

“What are you doing here?” You whispered

“What do you mean what he’s doing here” Your coach interrupted you as her impatient face scrunch in confusion and her arms wrapped around each other in front of her chest.

“He’s your partner and the most talented male dancer our company have right now”

“Oh…” Was all you could let out.

“It seems that you guys know of each other?” Your coach continued.

“We live in the same apartment building” Jimin turned to face your coach with a quick explanation as your nodded in agreement.

“Ok, well let’s get practice started since you’ve met and know each other” Your coach claps as you walk closer to Jimin.

“I didn’t know you dance” You whispered just enough for him to hear.

“I’ve been dancing since middle school; I guess the topic never came up.” He shrugged his shoulders as his lips pulled into a light smirked.

“I guess there’s a lot I didn’t know about you” You walked past him to stand in your position.

“I guess you’ll have to learn” he whispered in a sultry voice into your ears making your eyes widen. You turned your head to face him and when you did Jimin sent a wink your way making you snapping your head to face away blushing in embarrassment.

You swear his actions and voice was nothing like his usual innocent self.

Your coach went over basic steps and moves of the songs you and Jimin will be doing together. The moves were intimate, maybe too intimate as you pictured them in your head. Just the thought of it make you lose your focus. Your eyes always end up traveling to Jimin face, his serious expression instantly changed to his soft one every time he caught you staring.

You couldn’t move as smoothly as usual and you couldn’t express the dance you’ve done a billion times because of him. Your cheeks flushed in crimson and your head feels heavier every time your body clashes with his. Bodies swinging to the beats of the songs and you let Jimin leads you. His hands hold you by your waist moving you to his liking and his face merely a couple inches away makes you hold your breath the entire time. Your first practice went on like that for a couple hours until your coach was satisfied.

“Alright guys, great work! We basically went through the whole song so starting from tomorrow you guys will be practicing it. I’ll drop by to check up throughout the week. I want you to build more chemistry, I want to see expressions and not just dancing. Work on that, I want good result when I’m back next week.” You both looked at each other before nodding in understanding. Your coach left in minutes as you are left alone in the room with Jimin.

You packed your things in silent before you felt a presence next to you. Jimin stood beside you with his bag on his shoulders.

“Do you need a ride?” he stared at you.

“Umm… It’s okay, I can take the bus, thank you.” You said quietly as you finish packing up.

You actually wouldn’t mind going home with him but you’re somewhat timid.

“If You think you’re a bother, you’re not.” He said bluntly.

“O-oh of course not, I wasn’t thinking that.” Your face turned to him, wide eyes, and taken back.

“Perfect then, let’s go.” His smile curved as his eyes formed his infamous crescent shape.

He walked ahead as you follow along behind stumbling over your steps, reliefs he didn’t see you being such a clutch. You’ve never really spend more than 10 minutes with Jimin whenever you get the chance to see him so you were very nervous. It’s obvious that you’re attracted to him and when you try talking to him, your voice denied to make a coherent sentence or never failed to stutter. You knew Jimin was gorgeous and such a nice guy but for him to be a dancer and one that you work with is something you never thought of.

The ride down the elevator to the parking lot was filled with a tense silence that seems like only you felt. Jimin looks comfortable and carefree, occasionally throwing you a sweet smile or a wink which didn’t help with your loud heartbeats that you were hoping he didn’t notice. After getting into his car, he immediately reached for the CDs that are stacked in the compartments.

“Do you listen to music?” he looked your way then back down as he shuffles through the CDs collections.

“Mainly classics but if I’m in the mood classic rock.”

“Queen?” He asked

“That would be lovely,” You said timidly, granting him a small smile as his eyes sparks in interest in return.

He pushed the cd in the player and you begin to feel a bit relaxed as the music starts. Unconsciously, you begin to hum to the music and Jimin couldn’t help but chuckles at your cute actions making your cheeks heat up.

“His voice is great, isn’t it?” He spoke as his eyes remain on the road.

“Perfect” You replied. “I didn’t know you were a dancer, and one of the best the least”

Jimin smiles at your compliment and turned his head to the side to look at you for a quick moment.

“I don’t know, I just never really thought it was a big deal or thought you would like to know about it.” He shrugged.

“Of course I do, and we work under the same corporation as well. Now I think about it, I really don’t know anything about you.”

As you finish the sentence, Jimin pulled the car into parking mode in front of your shared complex building.

“Would you like to join me for dinner later? I would love to tell you all about myself then.” His lips pulled to warm smile as he waits patiently for your answer.

“At 7 then?” You boldly said as you get out of his car. Jimin laughed at your sudden boldness, as he’s used to your timid, shy behavior.

“I hope you like pasta” He winks and with your farewell smile, you began to walk up the steps.

7 o’clock hits and you’re in front of his front door. You’re showered, dressed in a loose sweater dress not trying to dress up or dress down with minimal makeup. You took a deep breath before you knock three times on the door. In a moment the door is open revealing a Jimin is a thin material white shirt that doesn’t leave too much to the imagination paired with a paired of sweats that make him look hotter if that’s even possible. His hair still slightly wet from a recent shower and your mind wonder what he would look like with wet hair and completely naked.

“Ahem, Y/N to earth. Are you there?” You’re snapped out of your daydream as Jimin waves his hand back and forth to get your attention.

“U-uh sorry…” Your heat steaming from both the embarrassment and the forbidden image of Jimin in your head.

“Would you care to come in?” Jimin said in an amused voice, you knew he knew.

He knew how nervous you are despite your effort to cover it. He knew what you were thinking about and he seemed to be amused, he didn’t wear this body-hugging shirt for no reason. He’s in love with your reactions and the way you get flustered around him with just a simple look. You’re so innocent and all he wanted to do was to ruin you in the worst way.

“Of course, thank you” You enter as your eyes wander around the apartment. It didn’t seem any bigger than yours but it’s super neat and decorated in simple color.

“I guess you’re a simple guy” You let out as you look investigate some more with your eyes.

“I’m not a flashy guy I suppose, water?” He brings a glass of water next to you and you take it with both hands.

“Dinner’s almost ready” Jimin announce as he jogs back to the kitchen to get it ready.

“Thank you” You take a sip as you come closer to the accent drawer by the window that is decorated with pictures of who you supposed are his close friends and family. You picked up a picture of the sea and Jimin with 6 other guys surrounding a truck as the sunset.

“Pretty…” You mumbled to yourself, but it didn’t go unheard.

“Ah… They’re my closest friends. We used to all dance together in middle school up until college. It’s a shame I’m the only one that pursued dancing, but we still keep in contact and they’re living well as lawyer, doctor, and I heard one of them even became a worldwide renowned artist.” He chuckles as he takes the picture out of your hand.

“You love dancing” You turned to face him.

“With all my heart, and milady our dinner is ready.” He took your hand and guided you to the dining table that was set without you noticing.

“Wow” You gape in awe as Jimin brought out the food.

“Please help yourself” Jimin sat down as he begins to pick up his fork.

You guys ate in silence for a bit only sparing each other’s quick glances here and there.

“You must have questions” He abruptly said as he wipes his mouth with a napkin.

“Oh yes, how?” You said in a curious voice. “How did I not know? It’s like you’re a different person I met.”

Jimin only laughs as he takes a sip of the water beside him.

“I mean we only meet each other here and there and our conversation didn’t last more than 10 minutes, how much can a person know from such a short amount of time?”

“I guess.” You nod your head.

“This is why we needed to get to know each other and not just a hi and bye,” He said with a smirk.

“Yes” You couldn’t stifle another word as he stares at you intensely.

“Are you done?” He asked as he abruptly stands up to grab his dish and yours after you nod and you quickly stood up following him to the kitchen.

“No, no, let me do the dishes. You already made such a wonderful dinner.” You reached for the dish out of his hand but he’s fast to retrieve it before you.

“It’s okay, you’re my guest besides I can’t get a lady hands dirty.” His tongue pokes out to sweep against his lips before he continues to put the dishes in the sink.

“Can I at least dry them?” You suggested.

Jimin looks at you for a good minute before he simply nods and thanks you for your help.

He washes the dishes in silence as you dry them with a clean towel. Just as he hands you the plate to dry, your clumsy trait kicks in and it slips right through your hand. The plate drops to the ground and scattered everywhere.

Dammit!

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry” You quickly bend down to retrieve the broken pieces and as you pick it up a sharp edge pierce through your skin spilling blood out of your fingers.

“Y/N are you ok?” Jimin immediately reaches for your hand not even caring about the broken plate. He caressed your hand, examining the wounded spot before putting it in his mouth. Your eyes widen as he sucks on your dripping finger. His mouth so warm and plumb against your skin and you can feel his tongue twisting and curling around your finger. You face burst in crimson and you feel like you’re about to explode.

“I-I’m so sorry, I’ll buy you another one. I’m causing you so much trouble, I’m really okay.” You’re soo embarrassed you just want to bury yourself in the ground and die.

Jimin released your finger as his eyes reach yours, you notice the slight drop in his eyes and you can’t take your eyes off his plumb, red stained lips.

“What a clumsy girl you are,” he said in such a hush tone you wouldn’t be able to hear it if your heart beats any louder.

“I-I…” you stuttered as you try to retrieve your hand but Jimin forcefully kept it in place making you unable to move.

You can feel his warmth as your hand encased in his only make your cheeks redder, you probably look like a ripe tomato by now. You begin to chew on your lips out of habit whenever you get nervous.

Jimin begins to lean in close to you, so close you had to hold your breath.

“Stop biting your lips like that before I can’t control myself”

You let out a breathy sound that sounds like a small moan and Jimin grips your hand tighter.

“What a bad girl” he let out in the sultriest voice you ever heard. You couldn’t believe your ears as you try to comprehend all his words.

“I tried so hard…” He continues “So hard to be a gentleman and contained myself, but I guess I can’t. You’re driving me crazy Y/N, why are you so soft around me? Why do you always get so flustered? It makes me want to possess every part of you.” Jimin confessed.

You can’t seem to believe his confession, but you couldn’t deny the extreme attractiveness you have for him and the tense, lustful air that fills the apartment right now.

“I-I don’t know what to say, I…” words escape your lips as Jimin lips dangerously close to yours if you move in any closer your lips would brush against each other.

“Just tell me if I can take it further, please tell me.” Jimin pleads and you can hear the desperation in his voice. He’s on the edge of letting himself go and he’s just waiting for your answer, he didn’t want to continue without your consent.

“J-Jimin…” was all you said with a slight nod and that’s all it took for him to wrap his hand behind your neck before connecting your lips.

His lips soft and plumb just like how they felt on your fingers but against yours, they melt even more. Taste of iron mix with his saliva coated your taste bud and you let out a breathy moan. Jimin took this opportunity to slip in his tongue as they fight for dominance. His hand releases yours to travel your body while the other one ruffles through your hair.

The passionate kiss filled your mouth with fireworks and paralyzed your thoughts only sending dopamine rushing through you. He released the kiss and you missed his lips already even when you’re desperate for some air. His lips curled into a satisfied grin as he looks at you in your state.

“I think we’re building chemistry just fine.” He said breathlessly

You’re flustered by his word and you can’t seem to look at him in the eyes but only giving him a slight nod. His hand creep under your chin and brought your face up to look at him.

“From now on when I’m talking to you, I want you to look at into my eyes, got it, babe?” He demands as his smirk returns to his lips.

“Yes, Jimin.” You said quietly as you look into him.

His smirk drops and his expression darken as he tilts his head slightly never leaving contact with you and his stare encourage you to repeat your words.

“Y-yes, sir” You corrected yourself, and Jimin seems to be satisfied by it.

To be continued…

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maciaslucymua-blog1 · 6 years

Text

Five Things That Bother Me About the Dr. Sears Investigation

New Post has been published on http://www.healthgoesfemale.com/five-things-that-bother-me-about-the-dr-sears-investigation/

Five Things That Bother Me About the Dr. Sears Investigation

By Daja, Contributing Writer

Can We Find Some Common Ground?

Whether you consider yourself an “anti-vaxxer” or a “pro-vaxxer” can we find common ground in this: “pro-all-the-information” and “pro-doctor-patient-privilege”? Or how about “pro-keep-the-government-out-of-my-private-business”? Yeah, that seems like a good place to start. The debate about vaccines is not a war and if we treat it like one we will have a whole bunch of regrettable casualties. This debate should be information-based, research rich and patient-care driven. But, instead of debating ideas, we treat other people like enemies. As California Medical Board spokesperson Cassandra Hockenson said, “The biggest weapon we have is to take away someone’s medical license.” (source) Weapons? Really? When did this becoming about winning at all cost? I thought this was about what is good for the children, not about who wins in a war.

One of Those Possible Casualties

For those that haven’t heard, well-known physician, Dr. Bob Sears is facing disciplinary action from the California Medical Board for a vaccine exemption he wrote in 2014. The charge is “gross negligence.” Was the child injured by Dr. Sears? Did he suffer permanent damage because Dr. Sears failed to treat a serious injury or illness? Did the child die? Did Dr. Sears ignore the child or parent’s concerns? No. None of these things. According to the California Medical Board, the neglect is that by writing the vaccine exemption Dr. Sears left the “patient, J.G., the patient’s mother, and his future contacts at risk for preventable and communicable diseases.” (source)

Forgive a mother for a (well-deserved) rant. Here are five things that bother me about the whole thing:

Five Things That Bother Me About the Dr. Sears Investigation

I am Pro-Doctor-Patient Privilege

Listen, if I go to a doctor and I have a concern about myself or my child and I discuss it with the doctor and together we come to a plan of action (which can be to do nothing or not intervene. Let’s not forget that “do no harm” is good medical practice), that is between me and my doctor. What should I take into account when making these medical decisions? My (or my child’s) health and well-being. This is first and foremost. And all. That is what the doctor should be primarily concerned about, too. I do not expect him, when looking at my child’s unique medical history–that includes a severe vaccine reaction–to say, “Well, I know paralysis is a real risk and concern for this particular child. But, we really don’t want to subject strangers at the mall to the possibility of chicken pox. So, take one for the team, OK?”

This Brings Up the Whole Notion of Confidentiality

The information in that medical file and the details of that medical discussion in his medical office: private. Physician-patient privilege is the concept that information told to a physician pertaining to medical care and in the context of receiving medical care cannot be divulged or used against the patient. (source) Mandatory vaccine laws that are enforced by compulsory education violate this privacy. In order to comply with the law that my child goes to school, my doctor must divulge the details of my medical history. This is wrong. Take this out of the context of vaccination and see if it still makes sense. Should a doctor have to share the details of things like HIV or hepatitis or cancer or diabetes status in order that a child be allowed to attend school? If it is found out that a child does have, let’s say, HIV, should they be denied an education? There’s only one right answer here.

I am Pro-Keep-the-Government-Out-of-My-Medical-Decisions

If you believe that the government should stay out of wombs and vaginas and end-of-life decisions, but you are for the government enforcement of vaccines, you have a serious break in logic.

Dr. Sears is no anti-vaxxer. As far as I know he vaccinates his own children, vaccinates his patients, and consider’s himself “pro-vaccine.” To his credit, he lets parents make the final decision in regards to their children’s medical treatment, sometimes suggesting an alternative (more cautious) vaccine schedule. In the case being used to bring this charge against Dr. Sears, the mother explained that the child had severe vaccine reactions (including temporary paralysis) in the past, asked to not vaccinate and Dr. Sears granted the exemption in the form of a letter. Should be the end of the story. But, it’s not. We are from the government and we’re here to help you….

When I hire a doctor to help me to live well, I am not hiring the bureaucrats at the California Medical Board to tell me whether or not the decisions I make are valid. I do not need the government’s permission to decide what is best for my child.

I am Pro-Not-Using-Doctors-or-Patients-as-Pawns

…and pro-having-all-the-information.

When bureaucrats decide to make an example out of someone–in this case, Dr. Sears–no one wins. It exchanges healthy scientific debate for a witch hunt. Facts, evidence, history, philosophies, actual outcomes don’t matter at all. What matters is that anyone who questions the status quo, anyone who goes against the tide, anyone who rocks the boat knows that they are uninvited to the party. It’s as if the California Medical Board has told parents in California, “Listen, I’m gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse. Vaccinate your children according to our set schedule, regardless of personal history, religious beliefs or doctor’s advice. If you don’t you may wake up with your favorite doctor’s head in your bed.” The powers-that-be have become the unelected mob bosses of our health care system. And guess what? No one wins. #gotothemattresses

“The biggest weapon we have is to take away someone’s medical license.” (California Medical Board)

Scientific discovery and medical advancement thrives in an environment of healthy debate. Some of the greatest discoveries of our time were fueled by men and women who questioned everything; rebels for whom nothing was off the table. But, today apparently, someone who simply says, “A lot is not known, let’s err on the side of caution in some particular cases.” is threatened with legal action. No. One. Wins. This is not the position of people who care about advancing in truth.

I am Pro-Trusting-Parents

According to the LA Times, “In the six-page accusation, the medical board faults Sears for failing to obtain a detailed history of a 2-year-old patient’s vaccines before writing the letter and instead relying on the child’s mother, who described how the boy lost urinary function and went limp in response to previous immunizations.”

Since when is it a crime to take a mom at her word?

If you have ever taken your kid to the doctor when they’ve been sick, here’s how it goes: The doctor asks what the problem is. The parent says something to the effect of, “He was up all night vomiting. I think it might have been a reaction to something he ate last night. He also had a fever, but it broke this morning at 2am and he finally went to sleep.” The doctor makes some notes to that effect, takes the parent completely at her word, and writes a prescription for electrolytes or something for the fever. He doesn’t ask for proof that the child was vomiting. In most cases he doesn’t take vomit samples to send to a lab. He doesn’t do a series of blood tests. He just believes the parents and recommends a course of action accordingly. More often than not, parents are the ones who diagnose. Doctors advise and prescribe.

What is our other option rather than trusting parents? Making a judgment about medical negligence is a completely subjective process–the California Medical Board admits it! Steve Boreman, who was formerly the attorney general’s liaison to the California Medical Board, said in an interview with CNN that making a judgment on alleged medical negligence is “a matter of opinion. It’s not black and white.” He says that the standard of care varies state to state, region to region and even among medical sub-specialities. (source)

Unless a parent is displaying some serious cause for concern or abuse is suspected, parents should be trusted. When they say a child had a vaccine reaction, subjecting a child to numerous, expensive and invasive tests is just not necessary! This is NOT negligence. It’s common sense. It’s good practice. It’s humanity, people.

In Ranting Conclusion…

You do not have to be totally anti-vax to have stake in this. At its core this issue is personal freedom and responsibility. It is about never stopping in our quest for truth and for answers to complicated questions. It’s also about resisting the school-yard-bully who someone gave the job of overseeing our medical decisions.

If you love freedom…

If you take responsibility for your own decisions and think others should, too…

If you aren’t afraid of asking tough questions…

If you think the government oversteps its boundaries from time-to-time and needs to be put in check…

#STANDWITHSEARS

What are your thoughts on the Dr. Sears investigation?

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