#i’d have to go to therapy

[aemondsbabygirl]

Was anyone else super turned on from that scene when Aemond shouts :

“Give me your eye, or I will take it bastard!” ?

I mean listen :

Everybody talks about the dagger twirl, which is indeed sexy, but his tone and voice when he shouts at Luke and lunges at him??

Just end me already.

#aemond targaryen #house of the dragon #hotd #aemond one eye #I’d have given him more than my eye ngl #I am a fan of men losing control which emphasizes why I should go to therapy #it’s the counterpart of daemon’s breathless wed her to me line #one is soft dom and the other is furious dom #and i love them both #also sorry for the shitty quality of the video it’s the sound that counts

[kavehater]

AAAH I have a mutual who’s 18 and he sorta kinda is flirting with this one guy who is a minor as a joke of course ( to which a concerned anon said that it’s weird ) but I can’t help but flashback to er*s

#granted the er*s situation was thoroughly complex and the reason she did those things was her copism with not being able to pull ( LLLLLLL ) #and ik that guy doesn’t mean any harm etc etc he’s not messed up like some ppl #BUT I DUNNO STILL #sobbing #they’re pretty sweet so #hes* #OH AND HES IRAQI TOO I LEGIT COULDNT BELIEVE THAT #dora daily #lowkey kinda sorta sad that a whole anon was more concerned than ppl i knew and who knew my age #and freely saw it happen so readily #and everyone else on that blog #genuinely and utterly disappointed #it’s always protect minors until the minors need protecting goddamn #this is especially directed at rhy yeah I’m not censoring that #🤷‍♀️ #too busy simping over minor characters who don’t have a time skip in canon and aging them up then complaining about it when ppl call out #the brain deadery of that behaviour #girl pls #you did not care about minors from the beginning literally bye #e[redacted] literally ruined my brain chemistry to say the least I will never go into how what she did absolutely muddled my brain never #told anyone and I don’t think I can ever tell someone ever #not to mention practically hyperventilating being unable to breath literally going into madness and ppl think that I’m overreacting and #telling me to shut up about it and blaming me for the situation as if I wanted any of this #lmaolmaolmao #all that and I was expected to do uni girl byeeee I need a good century to recover at least ☠️ #the only thing I DID want is friends but clearly that was a hard ask when ppl can get friends just by existing on this god forsaken app #atp I don’t even know what to say literally just wth #yall say mdni with your dumbass banners and decorate it like something special when yall are the ones to keep from minors you disgusting #wastes of clean oxygen 😭 mdni my foot gross ass adults should’ve never trusted them #the way I’d give them therapy to their complex traumas ☠️ imagine relying on a minor for therapy

[lesbianfakir]

Princess tutu tulpa save me save me save me princess tutu tulpa

#feeling sooooooo shit about my artistic ability today #it’s like why even bother making things #but princess tutu would be like no! #you love to make art #why should you value what you do any less because of how others perceive it #isn’t it enough that YOU love to make it? #and I’m like but princess tutu the friends I would share the experience with are gone now #and she’d be like that’s sad and it’s okay to mourn that but there’s nothing you can do now #one day there will be people you can share the experience of creating art with again #but today you just have to keep going and hold on to what you love #why do you look to others to assign meaning to your creations #and I’d be like damn i guess you’re right princess tutu thank you #anyways thank u to everyone for tuning in to me attempting to give myself therapy via fictional character 👍 #lea talks

[wyvernne]

i swear it’s always during finals, when i’m running on 4 hours of sleep and energy drinks that i’m like “omg i should write right now :)” HELP

#i get my best writing ideas when i literally have no time to write bye #i’ve gotten a few asks like ‘should i go to law school?’ #my answer is yes but also no #it’s not as bad as you think but also somehow worse 😭 #my advice is def go to a school that cares about you lol #there are definitely some that treat you like garbage to ‘give you a backbone’ #my school is bringing in therapy dogs and donuts tomorrow so we don’t have breakdowns LMAO #if anyone wants to ask more in depth questions just dm me and i’d be happy to talk about it if you’re considering law school

[herawell]

.

#called my mom at 7am out of a desperate need for validation #had a 37 minute long convo that amounted to ‘you should look into therapy’ #(in a much nicer and more constructive way it was actually a very good conversation’ #and she told me that she’s been in therapy for the last year #and that it did wonders for her mental health #and that she went from being on the verge of divorce #to looking forward to spending her retirement with my dad and expanding her home business to cover health insurance #since my dad is currently unemployed and most likely isn’t getting another job (industry and & age related reasons) #and ofc I’m glad to hear that they’re doing better #but I’m wondering if she got thru everything she needed to in therapy #and if she’s sorry about last winter #when for two days in a row she screamed at me for hours on end #about what a failure I am and how much I’m a drag on the family #how I was responsible for their impending divorce #and she was going to gift my dad divorce papers for Christmas and it would be my fault #how I looked like a clown at my recent graduation #and a bunch of other things #if she’s sorry for how every year since I was 14 she’s screamed at me about how I’m responsible for their being on the rocks #how it’s my fault my siblings will grow up in a broken family and we’ll have to sell the family house of 25 years to pay for the divorce #for when in April 2020 she tried to [redacted] herself in front of me while telling me it was my fault and I’d pushed her that far #all while I whisper-screamed for her to stop bc it was midnight and my siblings weee sleeping in the next room #she has never apologized for any of those and I don’t want to bring it up now #bc I don’t want to relive the past #but I wonder #mother mention cw #negativity cw #divorce cw

[romance-incubomp3]

like if therapy and meds help you that’s so cool but it drives me insane how people treat those as some magical cure all that EVERYONE needs to seek out even though the psych industry is fucked and biased and not affordable and if trying to find a good therapist or find the right meds is doing nothing but causing you even more stress and anxiety even after you’ve been trying to get help for years than maybe it’s not worth it at that point

#do people just like forget that every med has a shit load of potential side affects?? #that can make your mental health and even physical health WORSE?? #like no one in my family has actually had meds work for them #they just kind of. didn’t do anything for me and my #brother is cursed with getting the Bad side effects of any medication he takes #so like #and when you have mental health conditions that entail #having an incredibly difficult time opening up emotionally or even talking about vulnerable topics #what’s the fucking point #I’d go thousands of dollars into debt before a therapist would ever get me to open up #and that’s IF I was lucky enough to find one that worked for me #also no psych is gonna solve the housing and economy crisis lol #they can’t do anything for me being depressed cause I’m stuck living in a tiny apartment crammed with other people! #even therapists and psychs have straight up told me I don’t seem to benefit from their services #idk just like. if you see that a mentally ill person isn’t on therapy or on meds by choice #consider there’s a reason for that and mind your own fucking business lol

[tangledinink]

BE SO SAD ON MAIN BE SUPER DUPER SAD ON MAIN BC YOU DESERVE TO LET YOUR FEELINGS OUT!

Well if you insist 💖

I wanna go to sleep but I can already tell ima have a spooky dream if I do so I’m just like :((( sad.

#i usually sleep around 3-4 hours a night #coz I’d rather make stuff and do things #and then I sleep a lot on the weekends #but so every time I get to Friday I’m exhausted #and I’m so eepy and tryna go to sleep #but I keep having fcked up half dreams and hearing things when I’m starting to drift off #and then I force myself back awake #but now I’ve given myself a headache and I’m like :/// #did you guys know that trauma work therapy is lowkey a lot sometimes? #idk #ugh #im just #sleep #I’m wanna sleep #so eepy plz plz may I sleep I swear o will be so good pllzzzz may I eep :) #personal #vent #asks #Ty you tho btw this is very sweet and I appreciate it and ur cool and I appreciate you g much #and I’m so sleepy Al’s #so #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #sorry at all mu new followers who I’m not embarrassing myself in front of #I prommy I’m not always like this

[uefb]

Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day is knowing I can escape into writing Scamander brother repartee. (18k words from the current posted point in Head Under One Wing…)

#I love them your honor #newt Scamander #Theseus Scamander #Scamander brothers #autistic newt scamander #the italics are bc AAC basically #because I headcanon newts dad worked with a buddy to come up with an enchanted parchment system when newt was a kiddo #and was having trouble communicating traditionally & in certain social situations #I’m heavily projecting of course bc I just got in trouble when I wouldn’t talk in public or quit being able to speak #and I think I’d have had a lot less stress growing up if my mom had been like ‘it’s not illegal for you to sometimes talk another way’ #but anyway - the context of it for this scene outside me occasionally using fic for therapy is #that newts had a bit of a shutdown due to extreme emotional & physical stress and is having trouble verbally communicating #his elderly father came to visit him & brought him one of those charmed parchments from when he was like 7 #and Newt refused it at first and then gave in — and theseus has rolled w it as if nothing has happened #but this scene is a heart to heart between the two brothers #about tina #but I’ve spoiled enough abt the second half of this story so I’m going to shut the fck up now #damn it I wish I was done with chs #12/13 slash 14/15 #I have so many of the sequels already started but this boring ass fluff chapter is killing me #(not the *excerpt* chapter — the sweet newtina chapter I’m currently stuck on) #ok fluff isn’t boring but it’s also not my strength ok? #I relate to Newt for a reason #anywayyyyyyy #uefb rambles in the tags #my stuff #fic: with its head under one wing

[cookiescr]

I’m ngl to you all contemplating not going to heart doctor and just like putting my sister in therapy too but I’m still trying to find one. Also i am just scared of spending more if i go to the doctors 😭

#girl the sessions are gonna be at least 1000php #… #i die 😵 #jk #i think i am making myself too overwhelmed because i also wanna go to japan next year and i need to grind for so much #i will explode soon #japan is just wishful thinking im poor and also immigration will tell me to go fuck myself if i try to leave da country #vent #rants n rambles #does anyone else kinda have a fluctuatinf uhh wellness like I’d feeling like shit for months #but 1-3 days of being ok makes me feel like im faking and dont rlly need therapy #anyone else?

[abby420]

it’s honestly pissing me off how much o and otis call themselves (and other people call them) sex therapists in sex education

#sorry maybe it’s just the psych major in me but every time they call themselves a therapist i just want to scream “YOU DONT EVEN HAVE A #FUCKING DEGREE LET ALONE A LICENSE’ #idk it’s just incredibly frustrating #esp with how the adults accept and call them that too? #and the school is just letting them run a ‘therapy clinic’ ??? #like what the actual fuck #if i was the school psych contracted with this school i’d be losing my mind #i just wish they’d let go of calling themselves therapists #like maybe call it a peer support group or something #but you are not a fucking therapist #you are a teenager #even otis’s mom who is a licensed psychologist doesn’t correct them?? #idk i’m mad i can rant about this for awhile #sex education #s*x education #this season is pissing me off

[crybaby-bkg]

I need to start making my own money there are so many clothes I need to buy just to wear them to Michael’s and the cheesecake factory

#I’m actually so serious rn ALSJDKDDJ #I just love clothes and they make me feel better #and they make me feel more secure when I DO get to go places #bc I won’t have to worry about buying something new last minute #also retail therapy bc a bitch is struggling real Bad at the moment #I’m gonna start selling these mfs and these glass paintings and actually start thinking about commissions #bc I’m not on my zoom besties im not 😔 #anyway I have this two piece sage green set that I absolutely need cause I’d look so. good in it. I know it. #but it’s fifty bucks and I’m also a cheapskate #gelp me #—in store chit chat! 🍫

[autistic-earth-genasi]

Okay update on the therapy situation. I emailed my psychiatrist at Kaiser like the therapist recommended and he responded super fast and said he’d already sent a referral which is awesome. However, I got the follow up info today and apparently the referral is for an online therapy thing called Path Mental Health. It’s basically an online portal where you can search for a therapist which is fine but unfortunately it’s only for in network therapists and so the therapist I want isn’t on it. I do plan to give it a decent try and look through the therapists on there but a cursory look told me there are very few or none that specialize in autism and lgbtq issues which are two of the main things I want. Also the therapist I found is overall a much better match than anyone I’ve seen on Path so far. I might be willing to try someone else but it is only online sessions, no in person and I’ve done therapy on zoom before and I hated it. I don’t feel as much of a connection with the therapist and I find it really distracting to be able to see myself on camera.

So basically I’m starting to formulate how I’m going to push back. Like I said I will give it a serious try over the weekend when I’ve hopefully calmed down (I almost had a meltdown when I got the email and saw everything). But I know there is a good chance I won’t find anyone (after literal months of searching different therapy sites I found my list of maybe 4 therapists I was interested in contacting so chances are slim) so I need to figure out my arguments for why they should cover the specific therapist I found instead of any of the ones on that site. I know this is a thing they do because at my consultation, the therapist said one of his other patients was able to get them to cover it, you just have to fight. So far here’s what I have:

They only offer online services which I’ve tried before and found it difficult to really connect with a therapist. Also I don’t have the best internet connection and I live with a roommate so I am not guaranteed to have a private place to have my sessions (the last part is not entirely true bc I have my own room but I do have to be careful how loud I talk bc she can hear me and also past experiences have taught me that people are very afraid of confidentiality laws).

I cannot find someone who specializes in autism, anxiety, trauma, lgbtq+ issues, and family issues who matches my availability (it sucks a little bit because I have not talked to the psychiatrist or anyone at Kaiser about autism and I’m really not looking forward to it but needing specialized care is one of the strongest arguments I have).

Also if they push back would it be a bad idea to 1. Say I’ve already had a consultation with this therapist and 2. Say that he told me he has another patient that got Kaiser to cover therapy with him (in the case that they say they can’t cover it/there’s nothing they can do bc I know that’s bullshit)? Or would that make things worse?

Any suggestions or tips are appreciated! I really need this to work!

#if I can get them to cover this I will be able to get an autism diagnosis and ongoing therapy for free #so I need this to happen #I’m a bit concerned that if I tell the psychiatrist I think I have autism he’ll say I need to get a diagnosis through Kaiser first #which isn’t the end of the world as long as it’s covered and I think it will be #but I’d rather my therapist do it #he’s a psychiatrist who does therapy btw so he is qualified to diagnose me #it’s so fucked up that this is what you have to go through to get specialized care #like let’s make the most mentally ill people do the most work #I want to burn the entire health system to the ground #autism #mental health #actually autistic #neurodivergent #therapy #autistic #autism diagnosis

[crmsndragonwngss]

It’s probably a good thing that my dad’s going with me to this show on Saturday solely because that’ll keep me from spilling my fucking guts out to Jesse Cash about how I heard Dreamcatcher on my discover weekly playlist in 2014 and between Erra and Ghost Atlas his music saved me when I was at my absolute lowest low if I manage to catch him at the merch table and really nobody wants that lmfao

#she speaks #listen my dad has heard the story and he knows #but I don’t like the sad look he gets on his face when I tell it so I don’t like to tell it in front of him #and like I don’t want him to worry about me because I’m definitely not in that place anymore #like I’m low right now and I have real low depressive episodes #but never ones quite that low #that one was bad #like real real bad #like that was almost it for me bad #and nobody knows that but tumblr lol and I’d like to keep it that way #cuz like I said I’m not in that place anymore and I don’t want anybody to worry about me when I’m really truly fine #and when I know that even if it feels like the world is ending I’ll be alright in the morning #and like I’m an adult and I’m perfectly capable of and willing to go to therapy when I need it lol #but I feel like if I were to actually get face to face with Jesse Cash without a buffer I would absolutely spill that fucking story in full #like even the stuff I haven’t said here lmao #and yeah nobody wants that including me 😂😂😂 #anyway my dad’s my concert buddy so I’m always glad to have him with me ❤️

[robinsversion]

Believe victims. Believe people. Anyone who even implies otherwise is absolutely completely 100% wrong.

Believe victims.

#to quote a tweet I saw a while ago ‘I’d rather believe a liar than a predator’ #yes once it’s proven someone’s lying then you should retract your support #but people like Johnny silvestri are not going to keep me from believing victims in the future #and anyone acting like we should have known this entire time and automatically not trusted him #needs to go to therapy to fix their fucked up victim blamer mindset #yes even him #anyway #collen ballinger #mirandasings #johnny silvestri #why are you booing me i’m right

[badolmen]

So funny how trauma will just kick you in the fucking teeth with the most random triggers.

#ra speaks #personal #watched the most recent quintin reviews vid which like yeah I went in with expectations of the content #and it’s not like I actively avoid stuff that depicts/discusses abuse I’ve been going to therapy long enough to know my most sensitive #triggers and stuff. but…idk something abt when he got to the drake bell section just set me off something fierce. #I’m all nerves and stress and self loathing/misplaced guilt from my own past bullshit #like brain can we please cool it we’ve been over this for years why you freaking the fuck out now? (I mean. logically. I know why #and how trauma works and that I’m just having emotional flashbacks but still. ugh.) #brain please be real niceys to me I have a meeting in an hour we cannot be having a panic attack. #you’re safe you’re good it wasn’t your fault etc etc can we please go back to being an adult more than a decade past all that? please??? #survived my meeting so I’m gonna vent abt this a bit more bc. let’s be real. #I don’t rememember a solid 3 years of my adolescence and it fucks w me sometimes. #I remember things before 4th grade. I remember 4th grade. then bam I’m in 8th going to high school. and like #I know logistically what happened. I know emotionally I hated/was so fucking scared of [redacted] until I finally left that fucking school. #it’s just. frustrating bc if I remembered maybe I’d feel more justified letting myself get upset abt it. but I don’t so suck it up buttercup #it probably wasn’t even that bad if you don’t actually remember it so pull it together. #hell for all you know it had nothing to do with [redacted] and you were just on bad meds/depressed and forgot three solid years of your life #after meeting [redacted] <- I am not convincing myself unfortunately.

[hyunpic]

i don’t think there’s anything i hate more than going to the grocery store like i hate it with passion. A professional grocery store hater if u will. it just doesn’t sit right with me that i need to pick and choose what i want to eat and then on top of that pay for it like why

#i should go to grocery store now but i’d rather kms honestly 😭 #when i was still in therapy my therapist told me i probably just hate grocery stores cause i have anxiety #and then i got assigned this person who would go to the grocery store with me #every week #but idt its bc of that i feel like i just dont like going there